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- [00:04]
Chelsea Fairless
I spent $40,000 on shoes.
- [00:07]
Lauren Garrone
What's the matter, Morty?
- [00:08]
Megan Thee Stallion
Coral.
- [00:09]
Chelsea Fairless
The spring 10 tomorrow.
- [00:13]
Megan Thee Stallion
The spring break. Gowns.
- [00:16]
Lauren Garrone
Beautiful gowns.
- [00:18]
Chelsea Fairless
Fashion has changed.
- [00:21]
Megan Thee Stallion
No, it hasn't.
- [00:24]
Lauren Garrone
Hi, I'm Lauren Garrone.
- [00:25]
Chelsea Fairless
And I'm Chelsea Fairless.
- [00:27]
Lauren Garrone
And welcome to the Jet Lag edition of the Every Outfit podcast.
- [00:32]
Chelsea Fairless
Yes, guys, we've made it to London. We are in my room at the Standard, and this place is so cute. I feel like I'm in a Jules and Mimi episode.
- [00:41]
Lauren Garrone
This hotel is a vibe.
- [00:44]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, I didn't mean this hotel. I meant this city. But yes, this hotel is a vibe. It's very Stanley Kubrick. It's kind of like 50% the carpet from the Shining and 50% 2001 Space Odyssey.
- [00:58]
Lauren Garrone
In a world where bathtubs are evaporating, in hotels, you have a bathtub and not even a shower. Bathtub. You have your own shower and a bathtub. I. In my hotel. We are staying at different hotels.
- [01:10]
Chelsea Fairless
She can't stand to be near me.
- [01:12]
Lauren Garrone
No, I just got here a few days ago and, you know, with points. The hotel I'm staying at made a lot of sense, and it's centrally located, and that's been great, but it's not a vibe. And our shower is essentially a water closet. I have one of these newfangled hotels where everything is a button. Like, all the lights are controlled by a button, but you can only turn all the lights off or all the lights on. It is infuriating.
- [01:36]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay. I think you have to, like, have someone from the hotel come and explain to you how to use the buttons.
- [01:42]
Lauren Garrone
They did, and they couldn't even figure it out.
- [01:46]
Chelsea Fairless
So you've been here for longer than me. What have you been doing? I saw you briefly last night, but we didn't really catch up about that stuff. Stuff.
- [01:54]
Lauren Garrone
What we've been doing is honestly quite boring. It's like, wake up, get a coffee, walk to a museum, walk through said museum, have lunch, do something else, nap, dinner.
- [02:04]
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, so you're having, like, a geriatric vacation?
- [02:07]
Lauren Garrone
Very much so. With, like, trips to Harrods sort of popped in in there as you do. I took Paul to one of my favorite restaurants, one of my favorite restaurants. I went to dinner there the last time I was in London. It's a place called Cole. It is a Michelin star Mexican restaurant in London.
- [02:26]
Chelsea Fairless
Is that a good idea?
- [02:28]
Lauren Garrone
That was Paul's reaction as well, and he was blown away by the restaurant. As the meal ended, I went to the restroom. And I've noticed here in London all of your water closets, all of your bathrooms are downstairs. So I go downstairs, I go to the bathroom, there's a group of girls with kind of Frida Kahlo floral headbands. And I go to the bathroom and I come out and this girl goes, lauren.
- [02:53]
Chelsea Fairless
And that woman was Lana Del Rey.
- [02:55]
Lauren Garrone
She's like, I'm such a fan of the podcast. And it then becomes very clear her two friends don't listen to the podcast and have no idea what is going on right now.
- [03:05]
Chelsea Fairless
It's not like you're Joe Rogan out here.
- [03:08]
Lauren Garrone
No, absolutely. But this woman wants to have like a full on conversation, but I feel like I need to give context, clue to her two friends who have no idea what is going on right now. I was like, oh, I have a podcast. And then one of the friends is like, what's the podcast about? I was like, oh, it's fashion, pop culture. And I'm talking to the girl who engaged me. I said, are you coming to the live show? And then her friend who like really cannot place what is happening right now goes, wait, did you just happen to be having dinner here? Do you work here? And I was like, no, I just happen to be having dinner here. I was like, I'm doing a live show, I don't work here. And then that's sort of where things ended.
- [03:44]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, but was your outfit, like, kind of similar to what like the waitstaff was wearing?
- [03:49]
Lauren Garrone
I don't think so.
- [03:51]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, shout out to that fuckette.
- [03:53]
Lauren Garrone
I hope she's coming to our live show. I just offered her tickets, which I really needed to do after telling this story.
- [03:59]
Chelsea Fairless
So I have not been to London in 10,000 years. Like, the last time I was here, I was in my mid-20s. I came with my parents. It was so long ago that Kate Moss's Topshop collection had recently debuted. Remember all of those pictures of her like in the windows of a Topshop?
- [04:18]
Lauren Garrone
Those were the days.
- [04:19]
Chelsea Fairless
And yes, Kate Moss is basically how I tell time at this point.
- [04:23]
Lauren Garrone
I think people who've listened to the podcast long enough have come to realize this.
- [04:27]
Chelsea Fairless
As you know, I just went on a really crazy trip. Tat and I were invited to Katy Perry's 40th birthday extravaganza, which was very generous of her. And we took a trip on the Orient Express from Geneva to Amsterdam. Neither city I have been to before.
- [04:47]
Lauren Garrone
And that's about all you can say about that trip.
- [04:50]
Chelsea Fairless
No, I mean, I'm not dishing about all of the fabulous people there because I don't want to invade anyone's privacy.
- [04:57]
Lauren Garrone
That's very respectful of you as the plus one.
- [04:59]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, exactly. But it was very fun. The train was absolutely crazy. If you have not heard of this, the Orient Express is basically, like, the bougiest train in the world. And I think that's what Carrie was expecting when she decided to take a train to her book event in San Francisco.
- [05:18]
Lauren Garrone
I think that's what every American expects when they embark on train travel in the United States.
- [05:24]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, I will say the cabins, like, where we slept, they were small. Like, we're basically in bunk beds. Like, if you're a person that's prone to claustrophobia. I don't know if I would recommend this necessarily, but the fabulous part of it is really the dining car, the bar, which has a piano player. It's this train from the 1920s that has been fully restored. And it's like stepping back in time, except for the fact that I didn't really think about the fact that, like, the Orient Express isn't on its own just, like, magical train track that just goes through beautiful landscapes. Like, it does that, obviously, but it also just, like, stops at, like, normal Amtrak stations. And you just, like, look outside, and there's just like, some guy in a Nike hoodie smoking a cigarette who just got off work, like, staring at you.
- [06:12]
Lauren Garrone
Staring. As you change into some impossible outfit you have to wear.
- [06:17]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. As you know, the dress code for this was stressing me out for the weeks in advance, because on the train alone, we had to have, like, three full outfits. A pajama look, a 1940s daytime look, and a 1940s black tie look.
- [06:34]
Lauren Garrone
I feel like you can tell the fuckettes that my closet came in real clutch.
- [06:39]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. Who knew that Lauren had a 1940s prop house in her home?
- [06:44]
Lauren Garrone
Bless all of the obscure gloves that I've bought at estate sales that I swore I would wear one day. And it turns out they were worn not by me, but Chelsea. You?
- [06:54]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. Cause for the daytime look, I wore this trench dress that had a really extreme shoulder pad. It was very like, I'm a woman joining the workforce kind of vibes. And I borrowed gloves and these Ferragamo slingbacks from you, which looked very 1940s.
- [07:11]
Lauren Garrone
They do.
- [07:12]
Chelsea Fairless
But Tad and I almost got divorced when we had to change into the black tie outfits in our cabin just because there was no space to do that.
- [07:23]
Lauren Garrone
Right.
- [07:24]
Chelsea Fairless
And I wore this, like, vintage fur from the 40s that was, like, this asymmetric cape that basically took up our entire room. But we live to tell Although, again, someone on the platform did fully see me, like, tits out changing while this was happening.
- [07:41]
Lauren Garrone
Your story is making me realize this is not germane to the Orient Express. But is this just a thing with our hotel or are you also experiencing that our King Queen bed is just two twin mattresses pushed together?
- [07:57]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, what tragic hotel are you staying in? Oh, my God.
- [08:01]
Lauren Garrone
It's a very nice hotel. I don't know why it is like this.
- [08:06]
Chelsea Fairless
No, bitch, I have a king size mattress. So Tad and I ended up extending, like, the hotel that we were booked in for a day in Amsterdam because I knew that I would be hungover after three days of partying. And I couldn't handle the prospect of flying here under those circumstances. But I'd never been there, so I had to go to the red light district, obviously, of course, but I just, like, couldn't handle getting fucked up again. And Lauren, let me just say, nothing is more sobering than watching a sex worker pull like, 20ft of ribbon out of her pussy.
- [08:43]
Lauren Garrone
So you wouldn't recommend going to the red light district hungover is what you're saying?
- [08:48]
Chelsea Fairless
It actually wasn't, like, as intense as what you'd expect from a quote unquote live sex show. Right, sorry, my voice just cracked because of the days of drinking champagne.
- [08:59]
Lauren Garrone
What are you, a member of Oasis?
- [09:02]
Chelsea Fairless
But it's actually such a weird vibe in the red light district because if you go to a strip club in the United States, it has the very palpable energy of, like, horny guys that are there by themselves, like groups of horny guys that are there broing down together. Whereas in the red light district, it's literally just like random tourists off the street staring blankly at these performers. It's like as if you grabbed like 50 random people from an airport and put them in a theater.
- [09:34]
Lauren Garrone
Because Amsterdam is a popular bachelor party destination that the last time I was in Amsterdam, I was with my mother. We were accompanying my father on a business trip and he was doing businessman things. So I was with my mother all day. And, you know, bless my mother's heart, just the sweetest woman that can be. There was a group of men and they were rollicking and they were. They were like, I don't know, 20, 30ft away. And my mom was looking at them in the eyes and they were waving at her and laughing, and she's feeling their energy and laughing back. But I'm the New Yorker that I once was, am looking at them fully, and one of them has, like a banana schlong.
- [10:16]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, they're really into bananas.
- [10:19]
Lauren Garrone
And my poor mother was like, I just thought these were, like, fun boys having a laugh. And then I was like, why don't you look a little further out, Kathy? And she was like, oh, God, that's.
- [10:31]
Chelsea Fairless
Very much the vibe. So, yeah, I lasted, like, 45 minutes in that theater, and then I just went back to the hotel an ordered room service. And on this trip, I also discovered the greatest perk of being put up in a hotel by a pop star, which is that. So on the last day in Amsterdam, I woke up with a cold sore. I don't get bad ones, but I get them a couple times a year. And when I do get one, I usually take Valtrex, so it goes away in a few days instead of, like, a week. So I was like, fuck, we have our live show in two days.
- [11:06]
Lauren Garrone
How am I supposed to make out with Lauren now?
- [11:08]
Chelsea Fairless
Exactly. Like, this is going to be fucked. And then I remembered, like, oh, I'm in a fancy hotel, they have a doctor. So I called the concierge. He patches me into this doctor. This, like, Dutch man is like, so you have herpes? And I was like, well, type one, bitch. Like, come on. Me and 64% of the global population. And then literally within two hours, like, the prescription's called in, the concierge gets it, and someone delivers my herpes medication to me on a little silver tray.
- [11:41]
Lauren Garrone
You should have been like, don't you typically deal with overdoses?
- [11:45]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, exactly. I don't know. I honestly, it makes me want to cry just thinking about it, because it costs, like, €70 and it's the best healthcare experience I've ever had in my life.
- [11:57]
Lauren Garrone
Oh, yeah. Nothing will make you realize how trash America is than going to Europe. When we were coming from the airport, there was this radio host and he was talking about how uncivilized the tube has become.
- [12:11]
Chelsea Fairless
And I was like, a British accent.
- [12:13]
Lauren Garrone
It was my attempt. I know, it's not great, guys. And I was like, oh, wow. It must have really gone downhill since the last time I used it a couple years ago is, you know, are people getting stabbed? Are the people on the tube? What's happening now? And his reasoning that it had become uncivilized was that people were playing music on their phones loudly. And I was like, oh, the New York subway system would make this man freak out.
- [12:39]
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, absolutely. It's a stark contrast.
- [12:45]
Lauren Garrone
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- [14:08]
Chelsea Fairless
For sure. So Megan the Stallion made a really stunning appearance on Jimmy Fallon this week, which featured a very, very long segment devoted to her thoughts about the characters on Sex and the City.
- [14:27]
Lauren Garrone
Which is wild because if you know how late shows work, there is a producer that will typically interview the person who's gonna be on the show. It's called a pre interview and they sort of pitch like, here are things that I could talk about. So clearly Megan Thee stallion was like, here's what I'll be talking about. I've just finished Sex and the City and I have some thoughts and I'm going to talk for six minutes uninterrupted about Sex and the City.
- [14:51]
Chelsea Fairless
So she basically gave her thoughts on all of the characters. And let's start with Samantha.
- [14:57]
Megan Thee Stallion
I was like, this is horrible. This is a horrible character. But then as the show kept going, I was like, okay, hold on, wait a minute. I'm glad I hung in there, right? Because she runs men like she does not let men run her. And she keeps trying to preach. See, she keeps trying to tell the girls, like, stop making the man the center of your life. Like, go shopping, have a good time, make your money, and then have fun with your little toys.
- [15:23]
Chelsea Fairless
And I'm like, I'm like, yes, I get that okay. It's hard for me to imagine how someone couldn't, like, sneak Samantha, like, right off the bat.
- [15:32]
Lauren Garrone
Maybe Megan thee stallion was like, you know what? Carrie and Big belong together from episode one. How dare Samantha try to fuck him first.
- [15:39]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. I think she describes Samantha as desperate. We had to cut that out for time. But she does make a very good point about Samantha's priorities in life and how she tries to impart that wisdom to the crew and they never really get it.
- [15:56]
Lauren Garrone
That is true. Although, I mean, she is forgetting how Samantha briefly lost her mind when she was dating Richard.
- [16:02]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, Charlotte.
- [16:04]
Lauren Garrone
So she would be your bestie.
- [16:05]
Megan Thee Stallion
She would be my bestie. Because I would really have to, like, talk her down off a lot of these crazy thoughts that she, you know, what was wrong in that friend group? Nobody never told her. Charlotte, you trippin.
- [16:13]
Lauren Garrone
Like, we had to cut this for time. But I do love how she begins to describe Charlotte as, she's a little Delulu, but it's cute.
- [16:21]
Chelsea Fairless
Which is true. And I agree that Charlotte does completely spiral at times. And no one just shakes her and says, like, babe, you can't marry someone who you've never fucked.
- [16:32]
Lauren Garrone
Yeah. Or get married to someone after a month of knowing them and then on to Miranda. And I'm just gonna trigger warning. This is tough to hear.
- [16:40]
Megan Thee Stallion
Miranda, this is the worst character on the show. Like, I cannot stand Miranda. She never got nothing good to say. She's so sad all the time.
- [16:52]
Lauren Garrone
Like with Steve.
- [16:58]
Chelsea Fairless
You right.
- [16:59]
Megan Thee Stallion
First of all, Steve is the best character on the show. Yeah. How could anybody even fix their lips to be mean to Steve? And Miranda figured out a way to be mean to be mean to Steve.
- [17:14]
Chelsea Fairless
No.
- [17:15]
Megan Thee Stallion
The only thing Steve ever wanted to do was love this crazy lady.
- [17:17]
Lauren Garrone
All right, it's tough to hear, but is she wrong?
- [17:20]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, I disagree with her read on Miranda completely, but I do not disagree with the Steve of it all.
- [17:28]
Lauren Garrone
You know, as two people that wrote a book called We Should All Be Miranda's, which we really need to get ahold of our publisher. Or we need someone to get Megan thee stallion's information so we can send her a signed copy of We Should All Be Miranda's. And we need to send her this before Megan thee stallion starts watching in just like that.
- [17:43]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, if she didn't fuck with Miranda from Sex in the City, she is going to hate Miranda in and just like that.
- [17:50]
Lauren Garrone
That's what I'm saying. We gotta get to her before she starts watching. And just like that.
- [17:54]
Chelsea Fairless
But it's so true. Like, how did she Find a way to treat Steve like such a piece of garbage.
- [18:02]
Lauren Garrone
I think we do need to do a deep dive on Steve and Miranda's relationship because the more I think about it, Steve is the best guy on the show. Last but not least, her thoughts on Carrie.
- [18:12]
Megan Thee Stallion
She's always attractive.
- [18:14]
Lauren Garrone
Yes.
- [18:15]
Megan Thee Stallion
Doing these sicko things. Sicko? You think sicko things? She's nuts. Like, yeah. But you know what? I see a lot of myself in this character. Like Carrie really loved drama. Like she literally wake up and figure out, how can I mess up everybody's day?
- [18:35]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
- [18:36]
Megan Thee Stallion
Like, how can I be my cutest Messing up everybody's day?
- [18:42]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, she is a sicko.
- [18:43]
Lauren Garrone
Going back to why Megan Thee stallion might have hated Samantha at first, I think think because Megan thee stallion was like, I'm a Carrie. Like everyone thinks that they're a Carrie. I think Megan thee stallion is a Samantha with a Carrie rising. I don't think Megan Thee stallion is a Carrie with a Samantha rising.
- [19:01]
Chelsea Fairless
Although she might have a bit of a trad side that she doesn't really lead with. Like Charlotte, you know.
- [19:07]
Lauren Garrone
Interesting.
- [19:08]
Chelsea Fairless
I don't know. But I love this read on Carrie. How can I be as cute as possible and also fuck up everybody's day?
- [19:17]
Lauren Garrone
Ah, I'm. I'm thinking about that. Did Carrie fuck up everyone's day? I mean, she does make everything about herself.
- [19:25]
Chelsea Fairless
This interview has made me realize that I actually don't want to watch an interview with a celebrity who is promoting something ever. I want to know their thoughts.
- [19:35]
Lauren Garrone
Their very specific thoughts.
- [19:37]
Chelsea Fairless
Their very specific thoughts about culture.
- [19:40]
Lauren Garrone
Absolutely. New television show format.
- [19:43]
Chelsea Fairless
What is it called? Like, you cannot promote your latest project. You get ejected from the seat the second Beckett, you mentioned that you're in a new limited series on Netflix, but.
- [19:53]
Lauren Garrone
Tell us your thoughts on Benefer 2.0 breaking up. So while you were gone, Chelsea, there was this Twitter thread. I'm always going to call it Twitter, I will never call it X that went semi viral. It's from a Twitter account. Gay Interrupted.
- [20:07]
Chelsea Fairless
Great handle.
- [20:08]
Lauren Garrone
And they pontificated on each of the characters political views. And I have to say I think it's pretty unhinged. So he starts with Carrie. I assume this is a he. Carrie never voted until Big told her she had to vote for Bush in 2000. Essentially apolitical. Her politics are quote man.
- [20:28]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, I agree that she's apolitical.
- [20:30]
Lauren Garrone
Definitely apolitical. We know when she dates the politician that Charlotte exclaims, you're not even registered to vote.
- [20:38]
Chelsea Fairless
I do think that she probably voted for the first time for Barack Obama. Yeah, that checks out also when we're discussing this. This is very much limited to the world of sex in the not inclusive of. And just like that, where we know that Carrie is now like a registered Democrat.
- [20:54]
Lauren Garrone
Also, I don't think she was talking to Big when Bush would have been elected. So there's that. Charlotte York, lifelong registered Republican, doesn't tell the other girls. Has a whole other set of WASPy ladies who lunge. Friends who share her views. Donates generously.
- [21:11]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, well, we knew about the WASPy ladies who lunch again.
- [21:15]
Lauren Garrone
In the politician episode, which we're actually going to do next week, she reveals that she had a crush on Dan Quayle. So there's some Republican leanings when she was a teenager.
- [21:24]
Chelsea Fairless
Also, I just think that she was raised in a Republican family.
- [21:28]
Lauren Garrone
Very true. This also might be someone who the first time she voted Democrat was for Barack Obama.
- [21:33]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, but I agree with this read.
- [21:35]
Lauren Garrone
Miranda Hobbs, straight Democrat, attends feminist readings. Spiritually lesbian. Arrested once while at Columbia for protesting.
- [21:44]
Chelsea Fairless
I don't think she's protesting. I think Miranda Hobbs was a centrist Democrat in the 90s and now she's a little bit more like socially progressive in that sort of like in this house, we believe that love is love and no human is illegal kind of way.
- [22:01]
Lauren Garrone
Yeah, I mean the Cynthia Nixon ification of Miranda and then just like that does make her more of a progressive. I love the read that she's spiritually lesbian.
- [22:10]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, that was always true.
- [22:12]
Lauren Garrone
Samantha Jones, she's in her bag. Largely votes Republican, but as the most Trump coded of the girls, donates to both parties and makes sure she's seen with notable figures from both sides.
- [22:23]
Chelsea Fairless
Completely accurate. No notes.
- [22:25]
Lauren Garrone
Yeah, I think we had at one point done a post about our idea for a Sex and the City three that Samantha had gone down to Washington and was one of Trump's press secretaries.
- [22:37]
Chelsea Fairless
Right. She's definitely his type, by the way.
- [22:39]
Lauren Garrone
We don't co sign on that. It's just something we feel would happen. All right, shall we get into some hot Topics?
- [22:45]
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, we're not going through the rest of them.
- [22:46]
Lauren Garrone
Oh, you want to?
- [22:47]
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, we don't have to.
- [22:48]
Lauren Garrone
No, no. We can get into the guys. Mr. Big is actually literally friends with Trump. They hung out at the same clubs in the 80s.
- [22:56]
Chelsea Fairless
Accurate. There's no way that Mr. Big doesn't have Trump's number in his BlackBerry.
- [23:01]
Lauren Garrone
Okay. Yeah, this is the worst. The Steve won. I can't even say this word. Too R word to have his own opinions. Does What Miranda tells him.
- [23:10]
Chelsea Fairless
I can see Miranda, like filling out.
- [23:12]
Lauren Garrone
His ballot, the down ballot stuff.
- [23:14]
Chelsea Fairless
Perhaps I could also see Steve as a Bernie Bro. I think that would work for him. He has a working class background. He's a small business owner.
- [23:24]
Lauren Garrone
Well, he can't be a Bernie bro because this person says that Aiden is whatever the 90s equivalent of a Bernie bro is. Probably went with Nader, actually. Maybe.
- [23:34]
Chelsea Fairless
No, I feel like he's also a centrist. Can you imagine how much Aiden would love Bill Clinton?
- [23:39]
Lauren Garrone
That's true.
- [23:40]
Chelsea Fairless
I don't see him being hyper progressive, but he makes sure to vote.
- [23:44]
Lauren Garrone
Perhaps the first time Carrie voted is when she was dating Aiden. The second time. All right, now on to Hot Topic.
- [23:51]
Chelsea Fairless
Sure.
- [23:51]
Lauren Garrone
While we've been away traveling, Helen Mirren has shared her thoughts about Kurt Cobain. So Helen Mirren went on the Brave New World podcast and said that she considered herself lucky to have lived long enough to witness dramatic technological advances. I suppose to give that statement context, she went on to say, I always say it's so sad that Kurt Cobain died when he did because he never saw GPS as it's the most wonderful thing to watch my little blue spots.
- [24:19]
Chelsea Fairless
I think the fact that Kurt Cobain didn't live to see GPS is the least of his problems.
- [24:25]
Lauren Garrone
Yes, go on.
- [24:26]
Chelsea Fairless
I mean, he didn't live to see, like, the day that he would become a grandfather, for example. I think GPS is fine. You know, I don't think Kurt Cobain would like the surveillance state aspect of gps.
- [24:38]
Lauren Garrone
We as fans of Kurt Cobain never had to see him post very unfortunate shit on Twitter. There's also that, I mean, it works both ways.
- [24:48]
Chelsea Fairless
I don't think he would like social media at all. I don't think he would like smartphones. I like to think that he would have really continued to be consistent with his anti corporate Gen X principles and just had like a shitty flip phone instead of a smartphone.
- [25:05]
Lauren Garrone
I can see that. I mean, the more impressive thing is that it seems that Helen Mirren loves to use Kurt Cobain as a touchstone and a marker of time, because this is not the first time she's used him as a reference. In 2014, she told Oprah Winfrey, look at Kurt Cobain. He hardly even saw a computer. The digital stuff that's going on is so exciting. I'm just so curious about what happens next.
- [25:31]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, I do think he would have liked SoundCloud in the way that that democratized music.
- [25:37]
Lauren Garrone
I could see him going against Lars Ulrich when he sued Napster.
- [25:42]
Chelsea Fairless
For sure. He Might fuck with Shazam. He'd watch the Criterion channel for sure.
- [25:48]
Lauren Garrone
But Chelsea, that's not the last time that Helen Mirren.
- [25:51]
Chelsea Fairless
Are you serious? Well, also firstly, briefly, can we talk about the fact that she says, I always say that it's so sad that Kurt Cobain died when he did. Like, how many people has she been talking about this?
- [26:03]
Lauren Garrone
It seems like everyone. Because Chelsea, the following year in 2015, she told Cosmopolitan, I was thinking about Kurt Cobain the other day and he died without knowing the Internet. And I'm totally blown away by that.
- [26:15]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, it's nice to know that she's such a fan.
- [26:18]
Lauren Garrone
Other news that we care about, Luca Guadagnino seems that he will be directing another version of American Psycho, which I guess makes sense because he's coming off the adaptation of Queer. So he plans to tackle another book to film adaptation in the form of American Psycho, which I don't know, Chelsea, I kind of find odd because there already exists an almost near perfect adaptation of that film written and directed by women.
- [26:45]
Chelsea Fairless
I know people forget that Mary Harron directed American Psycho. She also wrote and directed I Shot Andy Warhol, which we really should talk about more. But apparently this is not a remake of the film American Psycho. It is a reinterpretation of the book, which is just very different from the movie.
- [27:07]
Lauren Garrone
I went back and Brady Steinels has given quotes over the last few years that he really does not care for the other filmed version of American Psycho and believes that people in the in the last decade have sort of loved it more because of wokeness culture. Meaning because women were a part of it. That's why people like it. So I could see him being more of a fan of a gay man tackling his book.
- [27:33]
Chelsea Fairless
Because American Psycho also co written by Guinevere Turner, who was an actor on the L Word as well.
- [27:40]
Lauren Garrone
Guinevere Turner, who's in Chasing Amy.
- [27:43]
Chelsea Fairless
Right.
- [27:43]
Lauren Garrone
It said that Scott Z. Burns is going to be adapting the script. He's mostly done a lot of Soderbergh films like Side Effects and the Informant. We'll see. Luca Guadagnino does sign on to a lot of projects that don't end up happening. I found it funny because of course we're just a content monster culture. That Variety then was like, did this bonkers list of who should play Patrick Bateman. They started with the correct answer, which is Jacob Elordi.
- [28:12]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, it's very easy to imagine that also Jacob Elordi is just a box office draw. Like there are certain people that will see any movie if he is in it. Kind of like how Leonardo DiCaprio was in the 90s and you're just talking.
- [28:27]
Lauren Garrone
About you and your box office dollars.
- [28:29]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, sure.
- [28:30]
Lauren Garrone
They go on to be like, well, what if they did a gender swap with Aubrey Plaza? What about Dev Patel? It's like, no, this is about a white man and it's okay. Yeah, it's about how white men are psychos. Well.
- [28:44]
Chelsea Fairless
And how white men can get away with anything, which was really what that film was about. Although I suppose a white woman like Aubrey Plaza would be even less of a suspect for, you know, murdering a sex worker with a chainsaw.
- [28:58]
Lauren Garrone
Do you think Patrick Bateman actually committed those crimes or it was all in his head?
- [29:02]
Chelsea Fairless
I think he committed those crimes.
- [29:04]
Lauren Garrone
All right. You know what would be really funny? If Jared Leto reprised his role in this one. Because he's not aged in the, like, 25 years since that film was made.
- [29:13]
Chelsea Fairless
No, that would be perfect. But also, I just want to throw another name in the ring for Patrick Bateman, which is Bill Skarsgard.
- [29:21]
Lauren Garrone
Yes.
- [29:22]
Chelsea Fairless
Because he's already been in a ton of movies. He's actually the most qualified actor for this role when you think about it, because, like, he has serial killer face.
- [29:32]
Lauren Garrone
He does. But he also has sexy Steve Buscemi face.
- [29:36]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. He has those, like, scary eyes. And he has like, like Jacob Elordi. He has a quality that is a little bit effeminate. And I think because Patrick Bateman is such a preppy character, I think preppiness is good on a more effeminate man because of the whole, like, cardigan around the shoulder vibe. It's nice to have those, like, pillowy Bill Skarsgrd lips.
- [30:00]
Lauren Garrone
It's just funny to want to remake this film or reimagine whatever synonym they want to use on this. It really does seem like Lionsgate that owns the rights, because if you don't use the material that you've licensed, after a certain amount of time, it does revert back to its owner. So it does sort of feel like, oh, shit, we need to make another one of these if we want to keep it.
- [30:23]
Chelsea Fairless
Right.
- [30:23]
Lauren Garrone
Which is why every few years you see a Spider man film. Or why literally every 20 years, Warren Beatty makes a 30 minute Dick Tracy feature for Turner Classic Movie.
- [30:37]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, that really hasn't been on my.
- [30:39]
Lauren Garrone
Radar, but sure, it's fully insane. Three people know what I'm talking about, and that really hit with them. Also, Brad Easton Ellis is finally directing his first feature. He revealed on his podcast that he has penned A screenplay about a man which will be played by Joseph Quinn, who witnesses a brutal death during a drug party and embarks on an existential crisis upon entering rehab.
- [31:03]
Chelsea Fairless
This seems like weird timing with the recent disclosure that his longtime boyfriend is in some sort of rehab facility or a psych ward even.
- [31:13]
Lauren Garrone
I think Brendy Steinellis is our auto fiction king, so it's not surprising. I kind of do hope that this American Psycho reimagining does happen, because for nothing else than Brendy, Stan Ellis's podcast dedicated to reviewing this oh, for sure.
- [31:30]
Chelsea Fairless
So there wasn't a ton of news this week. We are aware that there are lots of movies and television shows that we need to be talking about, but we haven't had time to watch them, so we'll get into that in a future episode. So today we thought we'd answer some questions that we received from Instagram, starting with thoughts on Addison Rae's rebrand.
- [31:50]
Lauren Garrone
I like it. I don't have an issue with it. I know people do.
- [31:54]
Chelsea Fairless
Who does, though? I feel like it's been very well received. Or maybe I'm just like, on a really, like, Addison Rae centric side of the Internet.
- [32:03]
Lauren Garrone
I think that people find this rebrand false in some sense.
- [32:08]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, I think it's because she's gone from someone whose brand is being very basic to someone who is incredibly cool, which almost no one ever figures out how to do.
- [32:19]
Lauren Garrone
I mean, other than the Lizzie Grant to Lana Del Rey.
- [32:23]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, I don't think it's surprising because Mel Ottenberg is doing her creative direction now. Patrick Sandberg also worked on those music videos. Both of the music videos for Diet Pepsi and Aquamarine were directed by Sean Price Williams, who is the DP for the Safdie Brothers, and Alex Ross Perry. Not a typical pop music video director. Which is smart.
- [32:46]
Lauren Garrone
Yeah, all of her choices are incredibly smart. So I don't think it rings false to us.
- [32:51]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, it's just like the correct team, like Pat McGrath is also doing her makeup. Dara, who is Hunter Schaefer's stylist, is styling her. So I think it just speaks to having a good team and also the fact that the music is good.
- [33:06]
Lauren Garrone
You can't be basic forever. And she's done maybe the hardest rebrand in existence, which is going from mass to cool Mass to it girl.
- [33:15]
Chelsea Fairless
Yes. I'm very happy for her.
- [33:16]
Lauren Garrone
Okay, next question. Can you guys explain Chrome Hearts to me? People I respect like it, but it's giving Ed Hardy. Chelsea, can you explain Chrome Hearts to me? Because I also have this feeling.
- [33:28]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, I would think you would know more about it than me. Just because you grew up in Los Angeles and Chrome Hearts is kind of the one luxury brand that's from here.
- [33:38]
Lauren Garrone
Yeah. Born from Los Angeles.
- [33:39]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. It started in the 80s. It is a jewelry and leather goods focused brand. I was introduced to it via Cher, who is a longtime devotee of Chrome Hearts and specifically their sort of cross motif products.
- [33:56]
Lauren Garrone
I think the fact that Chrome Hearts has endured I find fascinating, but it is a testament to just doing one thing and not listening to trends. Because culture will come back to you.
- [34:10]
Chelsea Fairless
I do respect how consistent they have been. Although I'm with you, I do largely associate Chrome Hearts with LA douchebags and this sort of people that wear Chrome Hearts. I mean, they're obviously cool people that wear Chrome Hearts. Like a Cher, like a Lenny Kravitz or something. But I actually went to the Chrome Heart store in LA for the first time recently. It's one of those LA stores where it's like there's a bouncer and you have to stand outside like you're waiting to go into a nightclub and then they let you in the store and there's no one in the store and like 50 sales associates.
- [34:46]
Lauren Garrone
Where is the store again? It's on Melrose.
- [34:48]
Chelsea Fairless
It's on Melrose. Like it's very close to Maxfield.
- [34:50]
Lauren Garrone
Yeah.
- [34:51]
Chelsea Fairless
But like on the same side of the street is like the Abbey, but it's tucked away. It's like you have to sort of walk into a little garden, you know, corridor to, like get there. So I can understand why you wouldn't know where it is. But when I got in there and I saw the guys that work at Chrome Hearts, I was like, oh, I actually get it now. Like, these men are chic as fuck because they sort of have a more rustic, bohemian quality to them. Like there's a lot of beards and stuff up in there.
- [35:17]
Lauren Garrone
I think Chrome Hearts is proportional to how cool you are as a person.
- [35:22]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. It can really, really go either way.
- [35:24]
Lauren Garrone
And we just don't have a Chrome Hearts personality.
- [35:27]
Chelsea Fairless
No.
- [35:27]
Lauren Garrone
And we know that.
- [35:28]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. It's important to know. Okay, which Ralph Lauren bear are each of you?
- [35:34]
Lauren Garrone
This one really threw me for a loop.
- [35:36]
Chelsea Fairless
I have an answer.
- [35:37]
Lauren Garrone
I also have an answer. But I was then researching the RL Bear because it's something that I've seen in my periphery, but I've never really stopped to think about it. They're all supposed to look like versions of Ralph Lauren. Right.
- [35:51]
Chelsea Fairless
Or just a Ralph Lauren wearing man.
- [35:54]
Lauren Garrone
Well, yeah, I mean, they're one in the same.
- [35:56]
Chelsea Fairless
I am not a Ralph Lauren bear. I am the canceled Balenciaga bondage bear.
- [36:01]
Lauren Garrone
Oh.
- [36:02]
Chelsea Fairless
If I'm any bear at all, I'm not wearing a knit sweater with an American flag on it. That much I will tell you.
- [36:10]
Lauren Garrone
I think that I'm the R.L. bear with the, you know, the stripe, sort of boat neck, quasi French shirt with some jeans.
- [36:18]
Chelsea Fairless
Cute. Yeah, I know the bear you speak of. You're the Sofia Coppola bear.
- [36:22]
Lauren Garrone
Ooh, Coppola wine needs to get into that. Give me some Coppola wine tchotchkes in the style of Gia and Sofia Coppola. Do you ship Krishka, AKA Olivia and Elliot? I think this question's for you.
- [36:44]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, obviously I ship Olivia and Elliot. However, if Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson even so much as briefly kissed, it would ruin the entire show. So I'm glad that they never did that because the early seasons of SVU where it was all about Benson and Stabler, it was all about the sexual tension, and that was the magic of the show.
- [37:08]
Lauren Garrone
The actors themselves, Chris Maloney and Mariska Hargitay, just have incredible chemistry with each other.
- [37:14]
Chelsea Fairless
Yes. And both of their characters are two nice and moral to cross that line because Olivia would never want to fuck up Elliot's marriage with Kathy.
- [37:26]
Lauren Garrone
But Kathy's now dead.
- [37:27]
Chelsea Fairless
Kathy is now dead? Yes, she died in a car bombing. So I don't know, maybe that could change. Although I think it's good that they've chosen to not consummate the relationship.
- [37:38]
Lauren Garrone
Let's just say, I mean, honestly, that's what fan fiction is for. And I'm sure there's the nastiest fanfiction about these two getting together. Okay, next question. How are you handling election anxiety? I'm spiraling. Four exclamation points.
- [37:54]
Chelsea Fairless
I'm trying not to think about it, honestly. I of course want Kamala to win, but if Trump wins, that's beyond my control and I'll be upset about it then.
- [38:04]
Lauren Garrone
This is very a privileged statement, but it does help. Being in another country right now, that has really quelled a lot of the anxiety not to have a 24 hour cycle of news talking about this election.
- [38:17]
Chelsea Fairless
But not really, though, because I just went to a newsstand in Amsterdam and it was all like, Trump, Kamala on the COVID of the magazines and newspapers.
- [38:25]
Lauren Garrone
Well, that's on you for going to a newsstand. We will survive and live another day if Trump gets elected. That's not what we particularly want. But also what has managed my expectations is the understanding that we are not going to know for at least a week.
- [38:41]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
- [38:42]
Lauren Garrone
I think the days where the person who won is known the night of the election, we're done with those days. It's going to be four to 10 days. So I'm like, you are? I'm just have moved my anxiety to a different date on the calendar.
- [38:59]
Chelsea Fairless
Exactly. But it continues to drive me crazy that this election really comes down to undecided voters.
- [39:07]
Lauren Garrone
Oh, well, the fact that it's even this close is insane.
- [39:10]
Chelsea Fairless
I can't respect someone that looks at Trump and looks at Kamala and is like, actually, I can't figure it out.
- [39:15]
Lauren Garrone
And the fact that, yes, it's a few states and about half a million, 50,000 voters in each of those states that are going to decide the election.
- [39:24]
Chelsea Fairless
On a related note, is Gwen Stefani voting for Trump?
- [39:27]
Lauren Garrone
By the way, I put Gwen Stefani Trump into Google because I was like, did something happen recently that I missed?
- [39:33]
Chelsea Fairless
I think it's more the fact that, like, she's married to, like, a Republican coded man, and she's from Orange county, which is notoriously Republican, and now she.
- [39:44]
Lauren Garrone
Lives out in the boonies with him.
- [39:46]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, like, there's a common misconception that everyone in California is super liberal, but it is very much not the case.
- [39:54]
Lauren Garrone
It's funny, when I was looking this up, there was a headline from 2021 that was like, gwen Stefani knows you think she's become a Republican. But her quote to refute that was just like, everybody knows who I am. I mean, she did host a fundraiser for Michelle Obama when Obama was running for his reelection.
- [40:13]
Chelsea Fairless
No, she's not Trumpy. She might be kind of a Republican, but I don't think she's a Trump Republican.
- [40:20]
Lauren Garrone
This might be a split voting household. Like, Blake might be voting for Trump and she might be voting for Kamala. I don't understand how those couples can exist anymore, but I know. I feel very blessed that I'm politically aligned with my spouse.
- [40:35]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, my spouse legally can't vote, so does it really matter? I guess.
- [40:40]
Lauren Garrone
And now we have some sex in the city related questions, starting with was it wrong of the lesbians to kick Charlotte out of the crew because she's straight?
- [40:49]
Chelsea Fairless
Yes and no. Because obviously lesbians have straight friends.
- [40:54]
Lauren Garrone
I mean, look at us.
- [40:55]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. But also, I understand, like, if this woman's whole thing is, like, I want to throw a lesbian party with only lesbians, she might want it to be only lesbians. Because, like, in the 90s, that's literally how you found someone to hook up with.
- [41:10]
Lauren Garrone
Right. And also, Charlotte entered that group under false pretenses. It wasn't like she was an out straight woman. And then they kicked her out of the group. They all thought she was a lesbian. She didn't let them think otherwise until she was directly asked and then was like, well, I'm straight, but I think you guys are fabulous. And they were like, no.
- [41:31]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. I love that woman's delivery of if you don't eat pussy, you're not a dyke. So classic.
- [41:36]
Lauren Garrone
And I don't see Charlotte making friends with lesbians afterwards.
- [41:40]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, true. Next question. Why do we hate Aiden and not Big? I'm going on vibes alone. I never vibed with Aiden. It's that simple. I don't judge anyone who prefers Aiden. It's just not my personal preference.
- [41:55]
Lauren Garrone
I mean, Aiden and Big are equally not great for Carrie.
- [41:58]
Chelsea Fairless
Right.
- [41:59]
Lauren Garrone
Okay. With Aiden, Aiden wanted Carrie to be someone that she is not. And with Big, she could never be the person who Big wanted up until the very end.
- [42:09]
Chelsea Fairless
Right.
- [42:10]
Lauren Garrone
But yeah, I mean, taking the love affair that we were shown for six seasons, which was very good storytelling, and we fell for it. Big, on paper, not a great guy.
- [42:20]
Chelsea Fairless
I don't think he's a good guy. I just think he's more charismatic and exciting with Carrie.
- [42:25]
Lauren Garrone
Has a lot to do with Chris Noth's performance as Big.
- [42:29]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
- [42:29]
Lauren Garrone
Do you think the whirlwind romance couple from the Chicken Dance is still together? We recently did this episode and I think I said in that episode, I don't think they're still together.
- [42:39]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, I don't think they're together either.
- [42:41]
Lauren Garrone
I think maybe they had like a good five, seven years.
- [42:46]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. They probably had kids and now they're divorced and they're both remarried and they have like a blended family or whatever.
- [42:52]
Lauren Garrone
Maybe side by side. Park Slope Brownstones. There's a New York magazine article about co parenting.
- [42:58]
Chelsea Fairless
I love that for them. Okay. I think this is directed at me. Why haven't you watched Nobody wants this. I will. Okay. I've been bullied into it and I've heard it's very good. But the last couple of weeks have been hectic and I simply haven't been able to.
- [43:14]
Lauren Garrone
I watched it when Paul was out of town. It goes down real smooth. Like, I started on a Saturday night and finished it by Sunday. We are firmly in the era of podcasting is a career for characters on TV shows, and it's not being used as a joke because the undercurrent of this season is that Kristen Bell and her sister, which is based on Aaron Foster and her sister, who also have a podcast, a bit meta there. Their podcast is going to be bought, and they want to repackage the podcast to be a little more digestible for a more mass crowd.
- [43:50]
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, God. Can you imagine if we tried to do that? We'd fail.
- [43:54]
Lauren Garrone
Okay, we also got a question. Need your thoughts on Anatomy of Lies. So you were out of town? I watched Anatomy of Lies. This is the documentary that's based on the Vanity Fair article that came out a couple years ago about Elizabeth Finch, who was the Grey's Anatomy writer that it was, found out that her cancer diagnosis that she had based a couple of storylines about was completely faked, amongst many other storylines.
- [44:20]
Chelsea Fairless
Right.
- [44:21]
Lauren Garrone
I would say if you've read the Vanity Fair piece, you don't necessarily need to watch this documentary because even though it's three hours, it doesn't answer the questions I have, which is the woman who Elizabeth Finch falls in love with at this PTSD rehabilitation center who falls in love with her. They get married. Elizabeth Finch moves out of state, is remotely writing Grey's Anatomy. The amount of fucking up at work, that gets totally brushed under the rug. Like, I'll never understand. Like, she just runs out one day during a workday and is. Because the Tree of Life shooting happens, and she's like, I know people there. She gets on a plate, leaves work. But this is what catches her in her lie. So this woman that she marries is like, I think I'm married to a pathological liar. None of this makes sense. She goes through her Facebook, Elizabeth Finch's Facebook, and finds that the day that she is tweeting that she is in Pittsburgh sifting through body parts on Facebook, she's posted photos of her at a Halloween party. And the part that never gets answered in this documentary is her friends who worked with her. Were they not friends on Facebook?
- [45:37]
Chelsea Fairless
That's so sinister. That's like the woman that wasn't there. Did you ever see that documentary?
- [45:41]
Lauren Garrone
Yes. The woman that was part of the 911 Victims Council or something. And she said she was there, but she wasn't.
- [45:48]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. She claimed to be in one of the Towers on September 11 and then became very involved in charity work for survivors and stuff.
- [45:58]
Lauren Garrone
Pathological liars fascinate me because we all lie. Right. Every one of us is told a lie at some point, Usually white lies. The amount of effort that was put into this, if you just did it straight, you would be just as successful. Because she was A writer. As a writer, I metabolized this documentary way differently because the amount of times that I've pitched a script, there's always the same response of like, well, how does this relate to your life? And it's like, okay, you want this impossibly dramatic script, but also it should be based on something that happened to me. So I see how she got there, but also, like, kind of lazy writing on her part.
- [46:39]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, the show is Grey's Anatomy, after all. I'm shagging my best friend's housemate. Any advice?
- [46:46]
Lauren Garrone
Lol.
- [46:46]
Chelsea Fairless
How to not have a train wreck. Girl, you've already fucked things up. The chips are just going to fall where they may. The worst case scenario is like, you guys have a messy breakup and it's like, you can't come over anymore because it's awkward. She gets in the middle of it. That sucks. Or you guys fall in love and move into your own apartment and she no longer has a roommate.
- [47:10]
Lauren Garrone
I mean, that is the best case scenario. I say you got to go full train wreck and all of you need to sleep together.
- [47:16]
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, yeah, that sounds good. Sounds like a great 90s independent film.
- [47:20]
Lauren Garrone
That's what I base most of my life on. So I'm in my affair era with a married fuck boy. How do I summon the Samantha in me?
- [47:29]
Chelsea Fairless
Fuck him twice and then ghost.
- [47:30]
Lauren Garrone
That's the thing is, as we learned with Samantha, which I referenced earlier in the episode with Richard, if you stay too long, you will catch feelings, and then you will be desperate and jealous and then smashing a lithograph of a heart that you gave him.
- [47:46]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, like, don't married people because it's dramatic. And, like, I get that it's also hot because as Samantha said, they designed it that way. But also just, like, there's so many single people that you can fuck that aren't married.
- [48:01]
Lauren Garrone
Also, fuckboys are unattractive enough. Now you are fucking a married fuckboy.
- [48:06]
Chelsea Fairless
I wouldn't do that.
- [48:06]
Lauren Garrone
Minus two points there.
- [48:08]
Chelsea Fairless
Like, not judging you morally for fucking someone married, but just don't think it's a good idea.
- [48:13]
Lauren Garrone
Got ghosted by a short man. How do I recover? Sos?
- [48:17]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, again, I think people place too much emphasis on height. Like, is he short and also ugly? Because in that case that sucks. But if he's short and otherwise hot, what's the big deal?
- [48:28]
Lauren Garrone
I'm going to assume that this man was attractive because you gave him the time of day. And you listen to this podcast, so you're probably a real cool person.
- [48:37]
Chelsea Fairless
But, like, just because a short man ghosted you doesn't mean that a man of average height or perhaps even a tall man will be into you. Like, the people that are into you are so random.
- [48:48]
Lauren Garrone
Well, also, I think the chances that a quote unquote average height or tall guy will also ghost you is probably equal to a short man ghosting you. Since height seems to be very important to you, I would set your height preferences on dating apps to Six2 and just go from there.
- [49:05]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, Six2 is maybe a little extreme.
- [49:07]
Lauren Garrone
Well, I was explaining this phenomenon to Paul because he's not someone that really experienced online dating. And so I was explaining the phenomenon that a lot of women will just automatically set their height to, like, 5:10, 5:11. And Paul is 5:9, which is the perfect height for me.
- [49:25]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, because you're a little, like, tiny person. Not in like a, like really tiny, but, you know, not tall.
- [49:33]
Lauren Garrone
No, I'm 53 1/4.
- [49:35]
Chelsea Fairless
Wait, no, I'm 53 1/3. And I feel like you're like, half an inch shorter than me.
- [49:40]
Lauren Garrone
All right, whatever.
- [49:43]
Chelsea Fairless
Just saying.
- [49:44]
Lauren Garrone
I also questioned, how short is this guy? Like, are you saying he's five nine, five seven? Is he five three?
- [49:51]
Chelsea Fairless
We don't know. And sometimes when we don't have the details, we can't make a clear call like this. Next question. How to shut down behavior at work with a woman decades older than you. First of all, who is this old? Secondly, like, it's hard for to give advice because I don't know the specifics of her bitchy behavior. All I know is that she's older.
- [50:13]
Lauren Garrone
Than you, and I feel like any of the advice we could give is advice that's easy to give when you're not in the situation of, like, you just need to shut her down and say, hey, I don't like when you. When you say something like that.
- [50:26]
Chelsea Fairless
But no one would ever definitely don't do that. That's so dweeby.
- [50:29]
Lauren Garrone
But that's what I'm saying is like, any advice I would give out of context, I don't think is advice you would actually do in the moment.
- [50:38]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, it's just hard to say because it's like, for example, is she being passive aggressive? You know, as people often are in a work environment. If that's the case, I would respond with directness because that often makes people a little bit uncomfortable and does shut them down.
- [50:53]
Lauren Garrone
Although you make a boomer feel uncomfortable, they can become very erratic.
- [50:58]
Chelsea Fairless
Are they a boomer or are they Gen X?
- [51:01]
Lauren Garrone
They could be a woman of A certain age. We don't know.
- [51:04]
Chelsea Fairless
Like, does she take advantage of the senior discounts at AMC or not?
- [51:09]
Lauren Garrone
Just walk away from her when she's talking to you.
- [51:11]
Chelsea Fairless
You can't really do that with, like, a colleague who you're in a very, like, a work environment with. Give us more details about this.
- [51:19]
Lauren Garrone
Use the Mira Sorvino line from Romy and Michelle. Oh, no. I cut my foot and my shoe is filling up with blood. I have to go now.
- [51:26]
Chelsea Fairless
Again, I don't think that works in a contained office environment.
- [51:30]
Lauren Garrone
What if they're not in the office together? What if she's being bullied over Zoom with this colleague?
- [51:36]
Chelsea Fairless
We don't have the crucial details here. Okay, favorite restaurants in la. We also got another similar question that was asking us advice around a not too expensive lunch place for Christmas Day. What do you think about the lunch place? Because I was going to say Musso and Frank.
- [51:53]
Lauren Garrone
There was a lot of detail in this. In this question. It was actually sent in three parts where they are coming in town. I don't know from where it has to be lunch because they're going to a Red Eye to Boston. So I assume you are visiting L. A for what seems to be 12 hours. So I think it should be an establishment like a Musso and Frank. Like a Mr. Chow.
- [52:13]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, also Musso and Frank, it's like all the waiters wear red tuxedo jackets. So it is giving Christmas. Or if you're not giving Christmas, you could do like, a Jewish Christmas vibe and go to Jen G. Cohen.
- [52:25]
Lauren Garrone
It's Genghis Cohen, but you call it Genji.
- [52:28]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, whatever. It's a Chinese place in Hollywood, the decor is pretty fab.
- [52:34]
Lauren Garrone
It's incredible and it's fun and it's not too expensive and it's a vibe. It's very Instagramable.
- [52:40]
Chelsea Fairless
So that would be my recommendation for an L. A Christmas.
- [52:43]
Lauren Garrone
My other recommendation is if any of these places sound good, please make a reservation especially for Musso and Frank. Because ever since Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, of which there's a scene in there, you cannot get a reservation.
- [52:55]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, also, it's like, you have to make sure that, like, on Christmas Day, a lot of restaurants do more expensive, like fixed menus. You want to make sure that that's not the case either. Yeah, but Jen G. Cohen is definitely not doing that.
- [53:10]
Lauren Garrone
Again, it's Genghis Cohen.
- [53:13]
Chelsea Fairless
Other favorite restaurants in la. I feel like we've discussed this before, but what are you feeling these days?
- [53:20]
Lauren Garrone
I have different categories and I sort of Said a less expensive, more expensive version, like for Italian Little Doms or Angelini Osteria for Mexican El Coyote. Or there's a food truck called Leo's.
- [53:34]
Chelsea Fairless
Tacos or Casa Vega in the Valley would be my pick for a Mexican restaurant, which is, you know, you also might see Kris Jenner there for sushi.
- [53:44]
Lauren Garrone
It's all about the Valley. My favorite place, personally, is Kwame. And then across the street, if you want a fancier experience, is a place called Osunabo.
- [53:52]
Chelsea Fairless
But we also love Uchi, which recently opened in West Hollywood.
- [53:56]
Lauren Garrone
Oh, my God. How did I forget about.
- [53:57]
Chelsea Fairless
Uchi is a very stunning addition to the West Hollywood restaurant landscape, which is from Austin. Yeah.
- [54:06]
Lauren Garrone
I cannot believe it. Uchi is a real foodies place, which is funny because it attracts what I call a crispy rice, spicy tuna crowd.
- [54:14]
Chelsea Fairless
But it's also, like, right by the gay bars. If you want to do a sort of, like, combo night and then Thai.
- [54:19]
Lauren Garrone
Food, I would say night and market. Or Jitlada.
- [54:22]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. I also love Anna Jack Thai, also in the Valley in Sherman Oaks. I'm also gonna throw Pachay in there.
- [54:29]
Lauren Garrone
Ooh, okay.
- [54:30]
Chelsea Fairless
We love Pache, which is in Laurel Canyon. I love Jar, which you've never been to, which is in Hollywood, which is.
- [54:37]
Lauren Garrone
Truly astounding because it's been there my entire existence in Los Angeles. I've just never been there.
- [54:42]
Chelsea Fairless
But I also think that, like, Tower Bar and Chateau Marmont are the most, like, very fun restaurants to go to for the scene. I wouldn't necessarily say it's the greatest food in Los Angeles, but always a great time, always a glamorous crowd.
- [54:57]
Lauren Garrone
Absolutely.
- [54:59]
Chelsea Fairless
Moving on.
- [55:00]
Lauren Garrone
What is your favorite film noir?
- [55:02]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay. If we're going for, like, the classic OG Film noirs, I'm either going with Rebecca or Sunset Boulevard.
- [55:10]
Lauren Garrone
Okay.
- [55:10]
Chelsea Fairless
But if we're going to be inclusive of the Neo noir, I think for me, it's either 7 or Mulholland Drive.
- [55:18]
Lauren Garrone
Okay.
- [55:18]
Chelsea Fairless
Although so many good neo noirs in the 70s. Like a kloot, Like a Chinatown.
- [55:24]
Lauren Garrone
That's what I was gonna ask. Do we define Chinatown as a Neo noir?
- [55:29]
Chelsea Fairless
Yes, absolutely. Chinatown is a Neo Noir, for sure.
- [55:32]
Lauren Garrone
Even though it's set in the 1930s.
- [55:34]
Chelsea Fairless
It's very by the book also. I mean, we got so many great ones in the 80s, like eyes of Laura Mars and Dressed to Kill, which is fabulous up until the very transphobic ending.
- [55:46]
Lauren Garrone
Mine would be the film Gilda, which has an incomprehensible plot, which is swiftly made up for by Rita Hayworth's very charismatic performance. In that role as the titular Gilda. And then my other favorite noir film is a movie called Kiss Me Deadly.
- [56:05]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, I've never seen that.
- [56:06]
Lauren Garrone
It has a very iconic opening. It has a young Cloris Leachman running naked. Well, naked except for a trench coat down a road and she's almost run over by the gumshoe detective. And also the ending involves someone, a woman, opening up a briefcase that shows this very bright light that destroys her. But that is the inspiration for Quentin Tarantino's gold briefcase from Pulp Fiction.
- [56:32]
Chelsea Fairless
Also a Neo noir.
- [56:33]
Lauren Garrone
Also a Neo noir. And then, yeah, I love LA Confidential as well.
- [56:37]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, La Confidential really hit at a point in the 90s where I started to get really into movies. And when this sort of awards season for LA Confidential was in full swing was when I remember really starting to care about the Oscars and about red carpet fashion and that sort of thing.
- [56:56]
Lauren Garrone
Yes. Unfortunately for our loves of neo noirs like seven and LA Confidential, Kevin Spacey plays prominent roles. So I really do need, like, Christopher Plummer's face to be cut into the film.
- [57:08]
Chelsea Fairless
I do struggle with neo noirs, though, with my face blindness. Because it's really like in LA Confidential. Like, I straight up, when I first saw it, I was like, I couldn't tell any of the men apart.
- [57:19]
Lauren Garrone
You couldn't tell Guy Pierce and Russell Crowe apart?
- [57:22]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, at that point, I didn't know who they were as actors, you know, like, that film probably introduced me to Russell Crowe and Guy Pearce.
- [57:30]
Lauren Garrone
If I had like a time travel hall pass, it would be that era. Guy Pearce.
- [57:35]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, he was hot.
- [57:36]
Lauren Garrone
Get me Edmund Exley.
- [57:39]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, what else? Curious to know, how do your morning routines look like?
- [57:45]
Lauren Garrone
I'm so interested to know what your morning routine is.
- [57:47]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, I wake up at 5am and I have a hot water with lemon.
- [57:52]
Lauren Garrone
And a green juice.
- [57:53]
Chelsea Fairless
No, I do that after I work out. Then I'm on the peloton for about 45 minutes. I meditate for 15 minutes, and then after that is when I make my green smoothie. And then I take a shower using exclusively Aesop products.
- [58:10]
Lauren Garrone
It's a cold shower too.
- [58:12]
Chelsea Fairless
A cold shower, Right. And then I go about my day.
- [58:15]
Lauren Garrone
Oh, you don't get into your sauna?
- [58:18]
Chelsea Fairless
No, I don't do any of this shit. I have no morning routine. I wake up sometime in the vicinity of 8am My circadian rhythm does not vibe with this particular time, so I almost always feel like shit. I actually only feel good if I either wake up at 5am or 10am but neither of those times are realistic for me. And then me and my wife fight about which one of us is going and getting coffee.
- [58:44]
Lauren Garrone
The coffee that's in your house?
- [58:46]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, it's just going up to the Nespresso machine and like pushing a button.
- [58:50]
Lauren Garrone
Right.
- [58:51]
Chelsea Fairless
But even that is like too much to ask of either of us on certain days. And then I spend the next half an hour blankly scrolling and I'll like, you know, look at the newspapers and stuff.
- [59:02]
Lauren Garrone
I've probably sent you five text messages already.
- [59:05]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, exactly.
- [59:06]
Lauren Garrone
That you're swiftly ignoring.
- [59:08]
Chelsea Fairless
Although if I'm like, you know, in a more well adjusted place, I will take my coffee and go drink it out in the garden and not take my phone and sort of be in nature. But yeah, for the most part, I'm a monster. Then I take a shower and I throw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie and I open my laptop.
- [59:26]
Lauren Garrone
Or you come over to my house to record the podcast and you're like, I'm not awake yet. Where, where are the baby DCs?
- [59:33]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, exactly. What about you?
- [59:35]
Lauren Garrone
I wake up between 7 or 8 or if Paul is feeling productive, sometimes he's up at like 5:30 in the morning or like 6:30 in the morning.
- [59:46]
Chelsea Fairless
Gross.
- [59:47]
Lauren Garrone
That's the worst for me because sometimes he will get up incredibly early and I wake up and then I'm. I'm doom scrolling for about an hour. At around 7 I fall back to sleep and it's the heaviest sleep with the weirdest dreams for about an hour. But if not, I get up around 7 or 8, Paul's up before me, he makes coffee, I'm on my phone. I've had this habit since I was a teenager. I love being in bed. Like I'll be up early.
- [60:17]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, who doesn't love being in bed?
- [60:18]
Lauren Garrone
I know, but it's so hard for me to get out of bed.
- [60:22]
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, it's impossible for me to get out of bed. Hence the Nespresso fight.
- [60:25]
Lauren Garrone
I've been trying to get up and go for a walk, just be out and do something for 30, 40 minutes in the morning. But honestly, with what we have going on, it's kind of directly to the computer putting out fires or figuring out the next stuff we have to do. Or we've been banking episodes. So it's like prepping an episode, recording, dealing with production stuff. And then all of a sudden it's 1pm that's how I feel. Like the day goes, it's 8am and then it's 1pm and then on Fridays I work out in the morning with Paul, and then we run valley errands.
- [61:02]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay. Favorite way to spend a date night with your spouses.
- [61:05]
Lauren Garrone
A lot of our time together recently, so we have a lot of stuff going on. We're prepping holiday merch. We were prepping this show. I was putting out the movie. Paul was the reluctant graphic designer for all of this stuff. And so it's been a lot of like, hey, will you update those slides while, like, I answered these emails? Or I edit this video clip and I'll order a Zanku chicken.
- [61:28]
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, fuck, yeah. I love Zanku chicken.
- [61:31]
Lauren Garrone
Oh, we should add that to our favorite restaurant.
- [61:33]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
- [61:33]
Lauren Garrone
Not really a dine in place.
- [61:35]
Chelsea Fairless
No. But like, a Zanku chicken. A Caliph chicken. Yeah, that's the best.
- [61:40]
Lauren Garrone
I think when we actually finally do make this favorite restaurant list, we got to separate it by categories.
- [61:46]
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, also the Kismet Rotisserie.
- [61:48]
Lauren Garrone
That's our Roasty Chicky recommendations. But if I really think about it, it's less of a specific date and more kind of a structure of a day. Because I feel like the best dates that we have, we're doing an activity midday. Like, we're seeing a movie or, you know, we're going to an art book fair or a museum or something. And then that leads to late afternoon drinks into an early dinner, like going to a movie at the Vista, then walking up or driving up to Little Dom's and having a drink, and then dinner and then home quite early. Because, as you know, with my personality, those are the hours in Los Angeles, I'm best at being spontaneous. Because at 7:00, being like, let's go to. Let's go to the east side for dinner doesn't bring out the best in me.
- [62:38]
Chelsea Fairless
Right, because of your thoughts on parking on the east side and your unwillingness to valet.
- [62:44]
Lauren Garrone
Not every place has valet. Little Dom's doesn't have valet.
- [62:48]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, well, I'm just saying, we were.
- [62:50]
Lauren Garrone
Once out and Paul was like, oh, do you want to go to this other place to have a drink? And I was like, do you want to watch me find parking at this other location? He went, nope, let's go home.
- [62:59]
Chelsea Fairless
We need to normalize. You just like Ubering.
- [63:02]
Lauren Garrone
Maybe I do, but it's Uber so expensive now. It's like 40 bucks.
- [63:06]
Chelsea Fairless
No, it's not.
- [63:07]
Lauren Garrone
Yes, it is.
- [63:08]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay. In LA, Uber is not that bad. Bad compared to New York, for example, where it is quite, quite expensive. It depends on how far you're going, obviously.
- [63:17]
Lauren Garrone
I just want to say, when we go out to Dinner. Who's the person often giving you cash for the valet? This one.
- [63:23]
Chelsea Fairless
My Daddy Warbucks over here. Okay, my favorite date night is having a reservation at a very nice restaurant and canceling at the last minute to sit on my couch and order Chinese delivery.
- [63:38]
Lauren Garrone
Do you want to say your favorite Chinese delivery place?
- [63:40]
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, Chef Ming's. Chef Ming's in Beverly Hills, which is just like a strip mall Chinese place. But it was my seven year wedding anniversary a couple weeks ago, and Tat and I had plans to go to the Bel Air Hotel, and then we just looked at each other and we're like, Mings. And, you know, that's a perfect night to me. Okay, what else? So we had a bunch of Australia related questions that we've just grouped together. Firstly, what is Chelsea's take on Australian slash Sydney style? Lauren, the chokehold that white eyelet fabric has on this country.
- [64:17]
Lauren Garrone
I've seen Zimmerman clothing is insane.
- [64:20]
Chelsea Fairless
It's like when I think of Sydney fashion, I think of girls in all white outfits or, like, wearing neutral colors, and then they have a pop of color from their, like, Bottega Veneta mules and tiny little Jody bags. Like, that's very like how people dress in the more posh parts of Sydney. Although there is a more flamboyant Sydney woman that is more about like a Camilla Caftan and a wedge or like a floral Zimmerman dress.
- [64:50]
Lauren Garrone
Don't like wedges. Never have, never will.
- [64:52]
Chelsea Fairless
Well, they love wedges there, so just like, watch out. Also, I met a fabulous Australian man at the polyester magazine party that we went to last night, and he made the most correct point that, like, every man in the bougie or parts of Sydney looks like he's just gotten a haircut.
- [65:11]
Lauren Garrone
Okay.
- [65:12]
Chelsea Fairless
No, it's Truly. You'll see it. It's so true. And I think it's because they're all.
- [65:16]
Lauren Garrone
Real estate agents, and freshly coiffed hair and real estate selling go together.
- [65:21]
Chelsea Fairless
You'll understand it when you go there.
- [65:24]
Lauren Garrone
Right. Well, the other question was must do's for Lauren, which I didn't know if that was to you telling me what I should do or what I want to do.
- [65:32]
Chelsea Fairless
I think that was also to me.
- [65:35]
Lauren Garrone
Because my answer is like, the joy of going to Australia with you. And then Tatiana is. I really don't have to plan like, I am in your hands. Whatever you guys want to do.
- [65:45]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, there's a lot of restaurants that I need to take you to. Australia has a lot of great Greek and Chinese restaurants. We should go to Bennelong's which is the restaurant in the Sydney Opera House, which is just an amazing space because it is a mid century architecture masterpiece. What else? I mean we have to go to Bondi, obviously. We'll go to Icebergs, which is this restaurant where all the influencers converge.
- [66:12]
Lauren Garrone
I've seen a photo of that place.
- [66:14]
Chelsea Fairless
And you know, we have to go to the museums, we have to go to Mecca Cosmetica, the violet gray of Australia.
- [66:21]
Lauren Garrone
Right.
- [66:22]
Chelsea Fairless
Okay. Another question. I have my scene eyed dog pup trainee at the Melbourne show. Any tips for the best merch for him?
- [66:29]
Lauren Garrone
I think we might need to make merch for this dog.
- [66:33]
Chelsea Fairless
I think we'll make dog merch at some point. I actually did find some dog hoodies that I think perhaps we could screen print on, but we won't have that for this show. Depending on how big this dog is, you can cut the sleeves off of a T shirt and make him wear that. Like my bulldog has a J'adore dykes tee that I force him to wear during Pride for the Culture. Yeah.
- [66:55]
Lauren Garrone
Someone else asked, will you be bringing your birch to Australia? The short answer is yes.
- [67:01]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, but your tariffs are so high that we actually have to manufacture the merch there, which means that we're not going to have the widest range of styles. So I wouldn't assume that like all the stuff that we have on the site now or all the stuff that's shortly coming for Christmas will be available. We'll probably just have the best sellers in Australia.
- [67:24]
Lauren Garrone
So tbd. Yes. On merch, what exactly? We're not sure yet. Multiple people asked us about after parties for the Australia show, specifically the Sydney show.
- [67:35]
Chelsea Fairless
Does anyone want to throw one? Imagine I just throw one at my in laws house.
- [67:40]
Lauren Garrone
We've only gone out with fuckettes from the show once in Portland. We're not against it.
- [67:45]
Chelsea Fairless
No, no. But no, there's no formal after party but let me know if anyone wants to throw one.
- [67:51]
Lauren Garrone
We will make an appearance. Well now I feel like Carrie in the last episodes when they threw a book party for her in Paris and she didn't show up.
- [67:59]
Chelsea Fairless
No, we don't need that kind of party. We just need like a bar.
- [68:02]
Lauren Garrone
Okay.
- [68:03]
Chelsea Fairless
All right guys, we have to go to our sound check.
- [68:06]
Lauren Garrone
This London double header. We have a 7pm show and we have a 9:30 show. We knew that the first show was going to sell out and this Tuesday show went on sale first and we had blocked out the day before Monday. Although given your travel schedule I guess it's good that it worked. Out this way. But I went to look at who stole our Monday gig. It's a whole thing with holds and challenges. It's a whole world we've had to learn going on tour. But I was like, who's this fucker that is making us now do two back to back shows because he took our Monday date.
- [68:42]
Chelsea Fairless
Don't be rude to this poor man.
- [68:44]
Lauren Garrone
I'm just saying he. He challenged the date we were supposed to be on and now we have to do two back to back shows.
- [68:51]
Chelsea Fairless
It's fine, we'll live. This is first world problems, guys. Don't listen to Lauren because here is the thing.
- [68:56]
Lauren Garrone
After one show's done, I'm ready to do the next show.
- [68:58]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
- [68:59]
Lauren Garrone
All right. I gotta go and make sure this presentation actually works in this theater.
- [69:02]
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
- [69:03]
Lauren Garrone
All right. Bye, guys.
- [69:03]
Chelsea Fairless
Bye.
- [69:10]
Megan Thee Stallion
Three.