On the Golden Globes, Babygirl, Emilia Pérez

Summary

Every Outfit Podcast Episode Summary Episode Title: On the Golden Globes, Babygirl, Emilia Pérez
Hosts: Chelsea Fairless & Lauren Garroni
Release Date: January 10, 2025

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1. Introduction and Wildfires in Los Angeles

The episode kicks off with Chelsea and Lauren addressing the ongoing wildfires in Los Angeles. They express their relief at being outside evacuation zones but acknowledge the anxiety and stress these natural disasters bring.

• Chelsea (00:04): "I spent $40,000 on shoes."
• Lauren (00:49): "Ugh, so fucking depressing. So scary."

They discuss the constant influx of "Are you okay?" messages from friends and family, highlighting the tension between their personal lives and the urgency of environmental crises.

• Lauren (01:15): "Twice I've checked in on you. It's obviously horrible that we've chosen to record despite what's going on in the world."

2. Reflections on Social Media Behavior

Lauren shares her pet peeve regarding friends posting dramatic Instagram stories with apocalyptic images followed by reassurances of being fine shortly after.

• Lauren (02:48): "I'm seeing friends acquaintances post the most fucked up Instagram stories, like black, apocalyptic skies with no context."

This leads to a humorous commentary on their decision to continue recording the podcast amidst chaos.

• Chelsea (04:02): "Yeah, because talking about Emelia Perez is the true priority here."

3. Updates on "And Just Like That…" Season 3

The hosts delve into the latest developments of the series "And Just Like That…", discussing the Entertainment Weekly article and the ambiguous plot points introduced by Michael Patrick King (MPK).

• Lauren (04:09): "MPK spoke to Entertainment Weekly to give a preview on what's in store for season three."

They critique the lack of clarity regarding Carrie’s relationship dynamics and the introduction of new side characters, speculating on potential storylines involving characters like Miranda and Patti LuPone's role.

• Lauren (04:35): "Guess what, Chelsea? I can up the text messages if I'm okay up to three."

4. Presidential Medals of Freedom

Chelsea and Lauren transition to discussing the recent recipients of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, celebrating notable figures while humorously excluding any "flops."

• Lauren (13:28): "Michael J. Fox, Hillary Clinton, Denzel Washington, Jose Andres, Jane Goodall, Magic Johnson, and I think the two people we care about the most, Ralph Lauren and Anna Wintour."

They highlight Ralph Lauren as the first fashion designer to receive this honor, praising his contributions to culture, business, and philanthropy.

• Chelsea (15:15): "He's also done a lot for the American flag. When you think about how many of those flag sweaters he's sold."

Discussing Anna Wintour, they note her significant influence in the fashion industry, though they humorously point out minor details like her removing sunglasses during the ceremony.

• Lauren (15:45): "They do say she's the leading architect behind the annual Met Gala fundraiser and chief content Officer of Conde Nast."

5. Golden Globes Coverage

The bulk of the episode centers on the Golden Globes, which had recently taken place. Chelsea and Lauren share their experiences and opinions on various aspects of the event.

a. Host and Monologue Review

They evaluate Nikki Glaser’s performance as host, commending her ability to balance humor without overcomplicating the show. They compare her favorably to past hosts like Amy Poehler and Tina Fey.

• Lauren (19:47): "I posited that she would do well. I would say she did quite well."

b. Award Winners and Performances

They discuss major winners, including Emilia Pérez and "The Brutalists," analyzing the implications of their wins and the quality of the films.

• Chelsea (22:25): "There is not one good song in that movie. Even I can acknowledge that Emilia Perez, like as musical is closer to like that R. Kelly Trapped in the Closet film..."

Demi Moore’s speech is highlighted for its emotional depth, as she reflects on her struggles and celebrates her achievements, resonating deeply with the hosts.

• Lauren (25:38): "It's incredibly genuine and earnest."

They also touch upon Sebastian Stan and Kieran Culkin’s wins, noting Culkin’s laissez-faire attitude reminiscent of earlier Hollywood icons.

• Lauren (28:32): "He brings a real laissez faire attitude that we have not seen since Jack Nicholson was nominated every other year."

c. Red Carpet Fashion

A significant portion is dedicated to best and worst dressed selections from the Golden Globes red carpet.

Best Dressed:

• Selena Gomez in Prada: Lauren praises the ensemble for its beauty and uniqueness.

  • Lauren (42:45): "Her hair, the jewelry, Betty Blanco on her arm."

• Eddie Redmayne in Valentino: Admired for his bold choice and the nautical crosshatch pattern of his suit.

  • Lauren (43:42): "He's being controlled by syringes. No, no, no."

• Tilda Swinton in Chanel: Celebrated for her modern take on vintage Chanel looks and minimal makeup.

  • Chelsea (44:16): "She doesn't look draggy in it."

Worst Dressed:

• Angelina Jolie in McQueen: Critiqued for the mismatched elements of her outfit, lacking cohesiveness without a matching mask.

  • Chelsea (46:30): "I hate to say it, but, like, that look was such an incredible look in the collection. It was aided by the fact that it also had a matching gimp mask."

• Glen Powell in Armani: Disliked for the seemingly hurried and mismatched attire, despite his attractiveness.

  • Lauren (47:36): "This looks less made to measure and more. I woke up 20 minutes before the red carpet starts..."

6. Film Reviews: "Emilia Pérez" and "Baby Girl"

The latter part of the episode focuses on in-depth reviews of two films: "Emilia Pérez" and "Baby Girl."

a. "Emilia Pérez"

The hosts critically analyze "Emilia Pérez," a musical film that recently garnered multiple Golden Globe awards. They express mixed feelings about its narrative and execution.

• Lauren (49:11): "I kind of understand where the French director and writer Jacques Odillard was coming from with this movie."

They compare its structure to operatic storytelling and classic films like "Face/Off" and "Mrs. Doubtfire," noting inconsistencies in character development and plot coherence.

• Chelsea (53:28): "I don't know who said this, but I read something online before I had seen the film that was like, the director of Emilia Perez doesn't realize that Emilia Perez is the villain and not the hero."

Despite acknowledging the film’s proficient direction and performances, they critique its portrayal of sensitive topics like gender transition and cartel violence.

• Lauren (59:03): "What about the message of this film is positive, apart from the fact that it stars like a trans actress?"

b. "Baby Girl"

Transitioning to "Baby Girl," the hosts discuss its controversial themes and performances, particularly highlighting Nicole Kidman’s role and the film’s attempt to blend erotic drama with dark humor.

• Chelsea (61:03): "Seeing Nicole Kidman in Baby Girl, it's truly demented."

They debate the film’s narrative structure, likening it to previously established erotic thrillers and questioning the depth of its character interactions and plot progression.

• Lauren (61:27): "This feels like the type of film that people don't Wanna watch and just wanna hear."

The conversation touches on the film’s treatment of BDSM elements and its attempt to subvert traditional relationship dynamics, though they find it lacking in execution.

• Lauren (63:54): "It does not punish her. They go out of their way to make a point that her past trauma from her childhood is not the reason that she's into all of this."

7. Closing Remarks and Teasers for Next Episode

As the episode wraps up, Chelsea and Lauren reflect on the discussions, plan for future topics, and humorously continue their dialogue about personal messages checking in on their well-being amidst the podcast’s candid content.

• Lauren (75:25): "All right. Will you guys check in on me?"

They sign off with light-hearted exchanges, promising to return with more engaging content in the next episode.

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Key Takeaways:

• Current Events Impact: The hosts seamlessly integrate discussions of local wildfires, reflecting on personal safety and community concerns.

• Critical Media Analysis: Deep dives into the latest season of "And Just Like That…," the prestige of Presidential Medal recipients, and comprehensive Golden Globes coverage showcase their expertise in entertainment.

• Fashion Commentary: Their detailed critique of red carpet fashion provides listeners with both praise and playful jabs, maintaining the podcast's signature fashion-forward perspective.

• Film Critique: Thoughtful examinations of "Emilia Pérez" and "Baby Girl" highlight their ability to dissect complex narratives and performances, offering listeners nuanced opinions.

• Humor and Relatability: Throughout the episode, Chelsea and Lauren balance serious discussions with humor and personal anecdotes, creating an engaging and relatable listening experience.

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Notable Quotes:

• Lauren (04:27): "We were like, do we record this podcast? Do we evacuate? And guess what, guys? You the fuckettes come first."

• Chelsea (15:15): "He's also done a lot for the American flag. When you think about how many of those flag sweaters he's sold."

• Lauren (25:38): "It's that type of pretension that I'm fine with because it's incredibly genuine and earnest."

• Lauren (42:45): "Her hair, the jewelry, Betty Blanco on her arm."

• Chelsea (46:30): "I hate to say it, but, like, that look was such an incredible look in the collection. It was aided by the fact that it also had a matching gimp mask."

• Lauren (61:27): "This feels like the type of film that people don't Wanna watch and just wanna hear."

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This detailed summary encapsulates the dynamic and multifaceted discussions between Chelsea Fairless and Lauren Garroni, offering listeners a comprehensive overview of the episode's content. From current events and award show analyses to in-depth film critiques and fashion insights, the hosts deliver a rich and engaging narrative that appeals to both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Chelsea Fairless]

I spent $40,000 on shoes.

[Lauren Garoni]

What's the matter, Morty? Coral, the sting.

[Chelsea Fairless]

10 tomorrow. Dress floral.

[Lauren Garoni]

Great gowns, beautiful gowns. Fashion has changed. No, it hasn't. Hi, I'm Lauren Garoni.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And. And I'm Chelsea Fairless.

[Lauren Garoni]

And welcome back to another episode of the Every Outfit podcast. So there are wildfires here in Los Angeles.

[Chelsea Fairless]

We are alive despite that, without doxing ourselves.

[Lauren Garoni]

I feel like it's safe to say we are outside of the evacuation zones of the four current wildfires that are going on in Los Angeles County.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Ugh, so fucking depressing. So scary.

[Lauren Garoni]

Have your east coast friends been checking in on you? Because Paul's phone has been blowing up. My mother's phone has been blowing up. Two people have texted me.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Really? Yes. Yeah, my phone has been blowing up as well.

[Lauren Garoni]

I guess people are like, you know what? Lord's a capable person. I'm sure she's fine.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, you're right. Fudge. I don't even think I checked in on you. You checked in on me first.

[Lauren Garoni]

Twice I've checked in on you. It's obviously horrible that we've chosen to record despite what's going on in the world.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I know. We might get an evacuation notice. Like during this pod, there was a question.

[Lauren Garoni]

We were like, do we record this podcast? Do we evacuate? And guess what, guys? You the fuckettes come first. Us speaking about our dumb bullshit comes before evacuating.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, because talking about Emelia Perez is the true priority here.

[Lauren Garoni]

Look, we know that you could not wait another week for us to discuss Baby Girl, so. Hey, guys, it's Lauren from the future. Wow, things can really change in an instant. A few hours after we recorded this episode, a fire broke out in Runyon Canyon, and I had to evacuate in an abundance of caution. Chelsea also evacuated from where she lives. We took the most important things with our loves, our dogs, and of course, the J.W. anderson pigeon bag. Thanks to the incredible work by the LAFD and their helicopter units, the fire was dealt with quickly. But our heart absolutely breaks for Los Angeles. I've lived here pretty much my entire life, and even though fires are a semi regular occurrence, I've never seen anything like this before. But now that you know that we are safe, back to our regularly scheduled silliness. Can I tell you something I've been noticing on social media that is a bit of a pet peeve of mine? Which is I'm seeing friends acquaintances post the most fucked up Instagram stories, like black, apocalyptic skies with no context. And then, of course, the following Story like an hour later is like, oh, just so you know, guys, I'm. I'm totally fine.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I hate that. That's like, when people get their wisdom teeth out and post a photo of their hospital bracelet.

[Lauren Garoni]

And here I thought the big news for this week's podcast was going to be that we've broken ground on the.

[Chelsea Fairless]

New Every Outfit studio and it's already burnt down. Sorry. This is funny. We shouldn't be laughing about the fires. The fires are not funny, obviously, but.

[Lauren Garoni]

Our dumb lives continuing despite the wildfires is funny. I was very surprised to see the construction crews showed up today. Look, it's the reason that I'm not the contractor.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Motherfucker, it was you for once.

[Lauren Garoni]

Guess what, Chelsea? I can up the text messages of if I'm okay up to three. I just got another are you okay? Text.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Wow, she's so popular.

[Lauren Garoni]

Look, this is the reason I'm not the contractor or the project manager of this construction job, because I would have let everyone go home.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, of course. I feel like no one should be doing anything today except talking about Golden Globes fashions.

[Lauren Garoni]

Like we will be.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, first we have to talk about something even more pressing, which is that. And just like that Entertainment Weekly article.

[Lauren Garoni]

That's right, Daddy. MPK spoke to Entertainment Weekly to give a preview on what's in store for season three of. And just like that. And in a word, Shell, it's new. He says it's new everything. To which I say, is that a threat?

[Chelsea Fairless]

New everything could be good, though.

[Lauren Garoni]

You know what that means? That means new side characters for side characters. That's all I hear.

[Chelsea Fairless]

When I hear new, it's old boyfriends and new side characters. I mean, there's so many things we need to talk about in this article, but the first being Michael Patrick King says the first question I said to everybody was, what exactly did Carrie agree to? What's the arrangement that they made? I love that even in the writers room, there were six different versions of what she agreed to. I guess that's comforting because I too, don't really know what she agreed to.

[Lauren Garoni]

Which makes the plot decision for Aiden to say, hey, I need a five year break from this relationship, kind of sort of to make sure my son is okay. Very clear that Michael Patrick King in the writers room decided to do that without any thought of what the implications would be. And they're like, you know what? Like Lauren Garrone says, it's probably not going to be picked up again for season three, so we don't need to figure this out and then when it did, he was like, huh, let me ask the writers room what they think.

[Chelsea Fairless]

What they think she agreed to.

[Lauren Garoni]

He goes on to say, when I knew there was still a gray area we had a potential great field to plow and figure it out. Sir, I do not want you figuring this out through the episodes. Please, please have a play.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, what kind of field are we talking about plowing?

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, he does say that the five year element is a quote big plot point for season three. But he also said I have no interest in torturing the audience too much. I don't know what I did clock is there's a few photos, a few stills from season three event just like that. One of which is Carrie and Seema in her new kitchen. And Chell, I don't know if you clocked on her beautiful robin's egg smeg fridge, but a Virginia for Lovers postcard.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I did notice that. Well, we know she went to Virginia because there is that one still that they released of her in front of what looks like a barn or something. But I think we got some more confirmation about the Virginia of it all with this other quote from Daddy. Mpk. He said the Carrie Aiden relationship is dramatic and exciting because it contains two points of view. I think half of the fans who do not want Carrie to be in a relationship will be like enough and the other half will understand that when you love somebody, what comes with them is their family. God damn it. We are gonna have so many new side characters. This means all of Aiden's kids, I'm assuming. I'm sure Aiden's ex wife is gonna get back into the mix and she might have a new partner.

[Lauren Garoni]

You know what? I bet Kathy's new partner has his own set of kids. That we'll see too. This is my philosophy for 2025, as I said last week. Sure, why not? You know what, let's think about it through a different lens, Chelsea. I'm gonna be like Miranda during the LA episodes instead of God damn it. Why are there all these new side characters? How about Hell yeah, Michael Patrick King is employing so many New York based Equity actors.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I love the way that you're ref framing this for yourself.

[Lauren Garoni]

If I don't, I'm just gonna start crying.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So also noted in this article, Miranda.

[Lauren Garoni]

Will move into a new apartment and get new loves.

[Chelsea Fairless]

We don't really know what her exact situation is. We do know that Dolly Wells is now a series regular. So it stands to reason that perhaps in the first half of the season, Miranda will Go on a lot of bad lesbian dates and then maybe hook up with her producer. No, not producer. She works for the Human Rights Campaign. What is her.

[Lauren Garoni]

We're gonna need to do a season two rewatch in anticipation of season three. You're sounding like me trying to describe what's happened in season one and two of Yellowjackets. I remember she shows up in the last episode when Miranda is going to the un or wait, speaking to the BBC. Is she a BBC producer based in America?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I honestly don't know, but we'll have to figure that out soon.

[Lauren Garoni]

Anyway, as the resident lesbian of this podcast, do you hope to see embarrassing lesbian sex or would you like to see some aspirational lesbian sex?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think a mix of both would be ideal. But Miranda has been having terrible sex with people, regardless of gender for years. So I don't know why that should stop now that she's with women. Or perhaps another non binary character.

[Lauren Garoni]

Sorry. We have a third guest who's maybe on the mic. Also known as Mr. Big, your dog, who's he's going to town on the piggy.

[Chelsea Fairless]

He loves his pig toy.

[Lauren Garoni]

While Daddy MPK says that everything is new. It sort of feels like that phrase of everything old is new again because Carrie's voiceover is coming back.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Great news.

[Lauren Garoni]

He explains that her voiceover is coming back because she's writing a book yet again in season three. He says, when we did voiceover on Sex and the City, Carrie had this overview of everything. She was telling you what to think and what to feel for the first two seasons of End. Just like that. I took the voiceover away because I didn't think she knew what she was feeling. Wasn't the voiceover the stand in for the column? Especially when they got rid of Carrie talking to camera and all of that man on the street footage that was our way into the column. She was writing weekly.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right. And then they dropped it in the film.

[Lauren Garoni]

There was a little bit of it, but it's always been a connector to plot points when the show was 30 minutes and you know, as we've come to understand watching Sex and the City 1 and 2 post and just like that. Like that was Michael Patrick King trying to push a season of television into a two and a half hour film. But my other question is this. Wasn't Carrie writing a book in season one? That came out in season two?

[Chelsea Fairless]

She's always writing books. She was writing books on Sex and the City, but she was writing books in the movies. Certainly.

[Lauren Garoni]

Whatever. Great. Her voiceover's back.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I'll take it.

[Lauren Garoni]

Sure, why not?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think this is great. Just the bare and just like that with no voiceover.

[Lauren Garoni]

Not even Chelsea's heart can handle it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I just think that the voiceover added a lot and it was a very efficient means of storytelling.

[Lauren Garoni]

I don't know. I've never thought of the voiceover as Carrie telling us exactly what we should think and how we should feel.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Sorry, just getting more Are you alive Texts.

[Lauren Garoni]

Oh, you're very popular.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, let's see how many texts we get throughout the course of this. I have gotten two texts since we've started recording and you've gotten one.

[Lauren Garoni]

Damn. Okay, I would say for you as a Broadway fan, the most exciting news that came out of this article is the fact that Patti LuPone has a recurring role and arc in season three of end. Just like that.

[Chelsea Fairless]

What this arc is we do not know. But Patti LuPone is certainly not going to make this show worse. This is going to be great.

[Lauren Garoni]

Patti LuPone is Carrie's mother. Patti LuPone is Aiden's.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That's one more. Are you alive text.

[Lauren Garoni]

So two for Chell, one for me.

[Chelsea Fairless]

No, I'm up three.

[Lauren Garoni]

Damn it. Wait, does one I got before I left for your house count?

[Chelsea Fairless]

No, we're just doing the ones received during the course of this podcast recording.

[Lauren Garoni]

What about Patti LuPone as Aiden's mom that I like?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I feel like she will be someone's mom.

[Lauren Garoni]

Unfortunately not to be ageist, but it's what makes the most sense.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But I wonder like, is she going to get a full blown arc or is this going to be like a Bitsy Von Muffling situation where she just kind of pops up here and there like a jacket in the box.

[Lauren Garoni]

If I could add one more thing to Anne. Just like that. Hit and run cameos like that. Give me another Susan. Sharon accosting Carrie with no context and it's never explained.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Also, Lauren, could this mean that we finally get a musical episode of and just like that?

[Lauren Garoni]

You know what, Chell? I think that's a great idea that.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Would end you once and for all.

[Lauren Garoni]

No, If I survived Emilia Perez, I think I can survive a musical episode event just like that.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I honestly feel so bad for you because you've watched Wicked, Emilia Perez and Joker fully adieu in the span of like three months.

[Lauren Garoni]

I really do feel like what's his name from A Clockwork Orange. My eyes were just sort of pried open and now I love musicals.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Anyway, is that it for in just like that?

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. I think the most important detail I would like is when this show is premiering, but no such answer.

[Chelsea Fairless]

In other news, some very fabulous people.

[Lauren Garoni]

Got Medals of Freedom. Is that what. Yes, it is the Presidential Medal of.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Freedom, which is the highest civilian honor here in the United States. And this year, they were given to a pretty major group of people. I'm going to say no flops.

[Lauren Garoni]

Michael J. Fox, Hillary Clinton, Denzel Washington, Jose Andres, Jane Goodall, Magic Johnson, and I think the two people we care about the most, Ralph Lauren and Anna Wintour.

[Chelsea Fairless]

You're forgetting about Bill Nye the Science Guy.

[Lauren Garoni]

I was gonna get to that because we had a very funny moment. If you've listened to the podcast over the past year, we've been discussing the fact that Anna Wintour's boyfriend is Bill Nighy, the British actor. But many people, because this is not a visual medium, us podcasting, assume we were saying that Anna Wintour was dating Bill Nye the Science Guy. And color us shock, that in the background of Anna Wintour getting her Medal of Freedom is Bill Nye the Science Guy.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's really not helping us with this misinformation that we've been spreading.

[Lauren Garoni]

Bill Nighy, the British actor, nowhere to be seen.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. And are they even still together? I think the ultimate revenge would be fucking Bill Nye the Science Guy.

[Lauren Garoni]

So I went to the White House website to see who was awarded these Medals of Freedom. And they give little bios that I think explain why they receive these medals. For Ralph Lauren, it says he has influenced culture, business, and philanthropy, notably in the fight against cancer and the preservation of the Star Spangled Banner.

[Chelsea Fairless]

He's also done a lot for the American flag. When you think about how many of those flag sweaters he's sold.

[Lauren Garoni]

And I must say, and I'm gonna show you it on my phone, Anna Wintour's bio. The smallest of the bunch.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay. But she definitely deserves this. She doesn't just run Vogue. She runs the American fashion industry. And she has done so much like work for Democratic causes over the years, it makes sense that they would wanna acknowledge her.

[Lauren Garoni]

Of course, none of that is listed. They do say she's the leading architect behind the annual Met Gala fundraiser and chief content Officer of Conde Nast.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Honestly, good for her. Also, did you notice she took her sunglasses off when she got the medal?

[Lauren Garoni]

That's pretty big.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I kind of felt bad for her. I was like, I know you don't want it like this. I know you want your glasses.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, she certainly doesn't want to get it next year from Trump.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, she's not getting it next year from Trump because she's robbed Melania of her first lady cover for years now. I can't see it happening now.

[Lauren Garoni]

That's true.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Also good for Ralph Lauren. A fashion designer has never gotten this before, and he so deserves it, because it's like, we forget. Like, now we have people like Michael Kors and Tom Ford making hugely successful businesses. But that just was not always the case. Like, America just didn't have big fashion designers.

[Lauren Garoni]

That's true. Now I'm wondering if Donna Karan has this.

[Chelsea Fairless]

No. Because Ralph Lauren's the only fashion designer who's ever gotten it.

[Lauren Garoni]

All right? And I don't see Trump giving it to Donna Karan.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So. No. On a related note, I saw Joe Biden's motorcade the other day.

[Lauren Garoni]

This is true. He is in town right now.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I was leaving the Century City Mall because I had just seen Baby Girl and they had blocked off Sunset. And then I tried to get on the 405, and they blocked off the 405, too. And so we just sat by a freeway exit and watched all of the cars pass. It was kind of exciting, I have to say. Then you see the little one with the little American flags.

[Lauren Garoni]

It does make you wonder, does he need all of those vans? But I guess the staff and press and security.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Security. So many police officers. Like, it was truly insane. It was more insane than I would have imagined.

[Lauren Garoni]

Also on Sunset earlier this year was Kamala Harris's motorcade. Because do you know that she lives in Brentwood?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Technically, I do.

[Lauren Garoni]

Your mind, or at least my mind, is so attuned to films that it does feel like something out of a movie. You're like, oh, shit, have aliens invaded?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, because there's also, like, the choppers and stuff, too. I initially thought it was some sort of manhunt.

[Lauren Garoni]

Naturally.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Anywho, Golden Globes.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes. This past Sunday, the Golden Globes happened. They are back after briefly being canceled and moving to a different network. Chelsea, were you able to find the Golden Globes on cbs?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

Did you watch it on Paramount Plus?

[Chelsea Fairless]

No, I have cable now. I've given up. Like, it's too annoying to watch award shows. If you don't have cable, it doesn't matter how many of the streaming services you have.

[Lauren Garoni]

This is true. I have cable and all of the streaming services. I learned I actually do have Paramount Plus.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, yeah, because isn't that where you watch Yellowjackets? I watch it through a Hulu extension, yes.

[Lauren Garoni]

I mean, I have to go through my budget. Paul Was like, I feel like we could cancel some of these subscription services. And it's like, no, it's my job. There is invariably something I will need to watch on one of these apps.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's more like the second you cancel is when you will need to watch something on Apple TV or whatever.

[Lauren Garoni]

Oh yeah, Apple TV plus has my ass.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

Although they did something smart this past weekend. I guess it was for free. You could stream anything for free. I think to get people on the teeth as they are aware. They have great shows that no one is aware actually are on Apple TV plus.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's Disney plus. That's maybe the one that. Is there anything to watch on that one? Like since the Taylor Swift folklore pandemic movie?

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, because of the collapse and our lack of Monopoly laws, when Disney bought Fox, they also had Hulu and they have espn. Not that we watch espn, but I believe I have Disney plus through some sort of Hulu extension.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right.

[Lauren Garoni]

Anyway, I'm sure you'd rather hear us talk about the Golden Globes than us attempting to cut the cord from streaming and realizing we are unable to. Nikki Glazer hosted. We posited that she would do well. I would say she did quite well.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. I have no idea who she is, but she was fantastic.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. I would say that her opening monologue wasn't the best monologue we've ever seen. I think Amy Poehler and Tina Fey still hold that crown, but it was better than most. And I think it's the best we're going to get with this current era of Hollywood. Like with the collapse of the monoculture. Trying to write opening monologue jokes that play in the room and also play to people who are watching at home is very difficult.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

And I think it proves that we need to let women and or queer people host and not straight men. This is not a venue for straight men to host.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, we just need a different vibe. Like hashtag notall straight men should be barred from hosting the Golden Globes.

[Lauren Garoni]

But Billy Crystal Martin short, Steve Martin notwithstanding.

[Chelsea Fairless]

We need a different vibe. And she kept it simple. People should keep it simple. Let's not do all these horrible fucking bits.

[Lauren Garoni]

The best bit of the night was the wicked conclave. Popular that the whole bit was. She immediately abandons as if someone's talking to her on an earwig being like, wait, this sucks, I should stop doing it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And that's how we all feel whenever anyone tries to do one of those musical comedy bits at an award show like we had to sit through I.

[Lauren Garoni]

Saw your tits yes. When Seth MacFarlane hosted. I have so many issues with the I saw your tits bit because I saw your boobs. I saw your boobs.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I saw your tits as more vulgar, but better. I saw your boobs as even worse.

[Lauren Garoni]

My issue with that, from my memory of it is it was partially a pre taped bit that was cutting to actresses who were in the audience, but they weren't wearing the outfits they were wearing that night. So it proved that it was a pre taped bit.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right.

[Lauren Garoni]

That seems to be my memory of it. But her jokes are also solid. I thought the best joke of the night for me personally was the Wicked Queer Night Bitch. These are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms. It's my favorite kind of joke. Right. It makes no sense, but it makes complete sense.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. Good for her.

[Lauren Garoni]

So the big winners of the night on the movie side were Emilia Perez and the Brutalists. Emilia Perez won four out of the 10 awards it was nominated for. Zoe Saldana won for best supporting Actress. It won for best motion picture musical or comedy over Wicked Oronora. And then it won best motion Picture non English language. Always find it interesting when that ends up happening. As well as best original Song.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, that was crazy. Best original song. Having just seen Emilia Perez and I didn't hate Emilia Perez. We'll get into it in a minute. But there is not one good song in that movie. Even I can acknowledge that Emilia Perez, like as musical is closer to like that R. Kelly Trapped in the Closet film where everyone just kind of sing talks the dialogue. A more generous read would be that it's like Evita, but I actually think it's giving Trapped in the Closet.

[Lauren Garoni]

It is giving Trapped in the Closet because you or I could have been cast in Amelia Perez in a singing role. With this being the first major award show out of the gate, it's hard to read into Amelia Perez's wins, which it won the most awards of any of the films that night. If this is going to be how the rest of the award season goes, or if, because this is the Hollywood for impress that they just awarded this.

[Chelsea Fairless]

French film, I think it's most likely that.

[Lauren Garoni]

I hope it's that or else we have another Crash Green book coda on our hands. Mr. Big, what do you do think about Emelia Perez?

[Chelsea Fairless]

He slept through the whole thing. Okay, what else?

[Lauren Garoni]

The Brutalist won all the, I'll say serious awards. Brady Corbett or as I learned, Brady Courbet. How very Stephen Colbert of him. One for best Director, Adrien Brody for best Actor. And it won Best Picture Drama.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Should we see that together?

[Lauren Garoni]

Sure. I plan to go so that I can, you know, keep my la cinephile bona fides. Paul and I are going to go to the Vista.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Oh, so you're going without me?

[Lauren Garoni]

No. Do you want to come to Los Vilas? You should come to the Vista.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, sure.

[Lauren Garoni]

Anyway, Brady Courbet. Were a lot of his speeches pretentious? Absolutely. But you know what? It's that type of pretension that I'm fine with because it's incredibly genuine and earnest.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

Whether this was intentional or not, I think he set up the idea that a vote for the brutalist is a vote for the soul of Hollywood.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right.

[Lauren Garoni]

Brady Courbet did it all right. He's like, let's save Hollywood. Look at my adorable daughter crying. Now I'm gonna bring my daughter on stage with me. How can you not give this man all of the awards?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. That was so cute.

[Lauren Garoni]

I loved that when he won for either Best Director or Best Picture. He referenced giving directors final cuts. And I saw several people being like, how brave of him to reference the whole Justin Baldoni situation. And it's like, no, I don't think he's referencing Justin Baldoni's director's cut if it ends with us. Because if you watch his director on Director Variety talk with Sean Baker, they each talk about how the only way they were able to secure financing for their independent films was they guaranteed their financiers a certain runtime, which both of them blew over. Sean Baker by 10 minutes. Brady Courbet by like an hour and a half. What else? Hacks and Shogun. Big winners for tv.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Still haven't seen Shogun. Not surprised that Hacks continues to win.

[Lauren Garoni]

Excited that they're currently shooting the new season.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

So other notable wins, of course. Demi Moore. Incredible speech. I'm now thinking she might win an Academy Award for Best Actress for this insane body horror.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. And she deserves it. But it was interesting to listen to her speech and hear her acknowledge her fraught relationship that she has with acting and with success. And it genuinely made me sad to sort of realize that, you know, she, to us, is, like, at the top of the industry. Right. But, like, she didn't feel like she was enough.

[Lauren Garoni]

She references many decades ago, an executive, a producer, sort of segmented around and said, you're a popcorn actress, meaning you make blockbuster films, but you're not a real actor. And so she bought into that and felt that she could never do serious work or be awarded for that. Yeah, her speech made me cry up until the very end. She goes, I'll just leave you with one thing that I think this movie is imparting and those moments when we don't think we're smart enough or pretty enough or skinny enough or successful enough or basically just not enough. I had a woman say to me, just know you will never be enough, but you can know the value of your worth if you just put down the measuring stick. So today I celebrate this. And she holds up the Golden Globes as a marker of my wholeness.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I was like, wait, yeah, you're so right. Like, she immediately contradicted herself.

[Lauren Garoni]

I thought where it was going was like, she was going to hold up the Golden Globe and be like, this is nice, but this doesn't define me. Or something.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Like, it's so true.

[Lauren Garoni]

Sebastian Stan won for a Different man, which is a film that I actually watched over the weekend. It'll be out on Max January 17th. He plays a man with neurofibroimatitis who is miraculously cured. This is a film, if you watch the substance and loved it. This film has a lot more to do with the substance than I was expecting going in. He talked about in his speech that, you know, we need to overcome our ignorance about discomfort around disabilities and disfigurement. The film also co stars this man, Adam Pearson, who actually does have that real life affliction and absolutely steals the film. So it's kind of a shame that he wasn't nominated or with Sebastian Stan. I get it. His girlfriend takes precedent, but that would have been cool. And then Kieran Culkin won for Real Pain, who seems to be the clear front runner of, like, he's going to take every Best Supporting Actor award, most likely win the Oscar. And I feel like he brings a real laissez faire attitude that we have not seen since Jack Nicholson was nominated every other year.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And good for him. I wouldn't have expected that Kieran Culkin would have a come up like this.

[Lauren Garoni]

He'd be the Culkin.

[Chelsea Fairless]

What happened to Rory? What's up with him?

[Lauren Garoni]

He's doing the damn thing.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Is he?

[Lauren Garoni]

I think he was in the Iron Claw.

[Chelsea Fairless]

See, I never saw that.

[Lauren Garoni]

Only someone that's been in Hollywood this long can have that attitude that we have missed from the award shows we grew up on. Right. Because he was kind of chaotic. He'd probably rather be somewhere else. But he is having a good time, as evidenced by the fact that he shouted out doing shots with Mario Lopez during his speech. And then I think the other notable win and a bit of a surprise was Fernanda Torres won best Actress at the Golden Globes. She is the first Brazilian actress to do so, but the second person nominated or the second Brazilian actress to be nominated at the Golden Globes in this category, the first being her mom.

[Chelsea Fairless]

We love a prestige Nepo baby.

[Lauren Garoni]

Here's the thing. Can I tell you what I miss about the Golden Globes? And it's funny that they did away with this just as the Nepo baby conversation was reaching a fever pitch.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Oh, I know. Ms. Golden Globe.

[Lauren Garoni]

Ms. And Mr. Golden Globe every year used to be the children of celebrities. And we don't do that anymore. And I'm sorry, we're worse off for it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

Especially in a year. I don't know if you've been listening to Isabella Rossellini on the. On the red carpet, but literally every interview she's referencing her mother. And people are like, enough about talking about your mom. And it's like, you know what? If my mom was Ingrid Bergman, I talk about her all the time. Isabella Rossellini is the original Nepo baby. What? You don't like when people acknowledge their privilege in Hollywood and now you're mad at Isabella Rossellini for acknowledging it too much?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I'm with you. She can talk about Ingrid Bergman as much as she wants to.

[Lauren Garoni]

So there were a couple changes to the show. Chelsea, what did you think of the bizarre camera angle for the presenters?

[Chelsea Fairless]

It was so awkward, and only Seth rogen and Katherine O'Hara could withstand how awkward it was.

[Lauren Garoni]

That was the other great bit.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

And then also, I'm of two minds about this. What did you think of the pop of video esque chyrons when presenters and winners went on stage?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, the Demi Moore one was great.

[Lauren Garoni]

I wrote down two in my notes, one being Demi Moore. Demi Moore was born in Roswell, New Mexico, a town famously associated with alien conspiracy theories. Conspiracy theories, Chelsea, or truths.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Obviously truths. But I didn't know that she was born in Roswell.

[Lauren Garoni]

When Nicolas Cage came out to present, it said, Nicolas Cage has a pet crow named Hoover who lives in a geodesic dome in his Las Vegas home.

[Chelsea Fairless]

This I like. Also, there was another Demi Moore one that was like, she has a separate house for her collection of like 2,000 dolls or something.

[Lauren Garoni]

That checks out. Is that a research intern just going on IMDb trivia and finding this were requests put in with their agents and managers to, like, furnish interesting trivia. Like, how did this come about?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I have no idea how it came about. It only worked a few times. Like, not all of the facts were created equal.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, also, some celebrities are more interesting than others. Demi Moore has just happened to have one of the most interesting lives a person could live.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. Shall we get into the red carpet a little bit?

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes. I was thrilled to see that the E red carpet was back, because I feel like last year it was not on air for some reason.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Although. Was it back?

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah, There was a different set of people I noticed on the red carpet.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I was like, who are these people? And Laverne Cox announced on Instagram that she was no longer going to be on the show or had declined to be on the show, I guess, a few days before the Globes, which makes.

[Lauren Garoni]

It seem like maybe there was some drama. Yeah, but look, I'm sure some of the fuckettes are like, Lauren and Chelsea, you should be on the red carpet. I say to that. No, we shouldn't, because I wouldn't know what to ask these people. I feel like one of the things that has sort of crumbled the last five to 10 years is just red carpet discourse. And I think this is because press tours, like promoting a film before you even get to the award circuit, has become such a memeable clickbait fodder that there's just not much left to ask. Once you get to the award red.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Carpet, there's not much left to ask. And even if it's like this sort of fashion police thing where there's like, four people in a little room talking about the outfits, it's like you can't even be honest about the clothes anymore either. It's like you can't have a genuine conversation with the person on the red carpet, and you can't be honest about the reality of their situation. So that's why Laverne was good, because she was able to, like, strike a balance with that more so than most. It's a very, very difficult job. No one would let Joan Rivers back on the carpet now.

[Lauren Garoni]

They won't even let Giuliana Rancic on the red carpet, which. It's so weird, because celebrity discourse online has never been more vicious, and yet it's never been more defanged and placid through major entertainment outlets.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, yeah, it's true.

[Lauren Garoni]

But that's why we're here through the privacy of our podcast, the wonderful visual medium of a podcast, to give our hot takes on the red carpet. You know, I would say a weaker red carpet. We don't have opinions about everything, which also would Be a reason we shouldn't host red carpets for award shows. Just in the sense that we don't have an opinion on everything. But I thought it might be nice to do a rapid fire on some of the looks.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Sure hit me.

[Lauren Garoni]

So Jeremy Strong and Laura Piano. I say pastel Jamiroquai. And not since Samuel L. Jackson and his Kangal has a man committed to a piece of headwear on the red carpet. I salute this look.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, what a big moment for Seafoam. You know, no one ever wears that color. To me, this isn't my favorite look, but I respect it because at least he did something different. Truly. No one else looks like this. So good for him.

[Lauren Garoni]

Why not an Armani Prive?

[Chelsea Fairless]

She looks gorgeous, but I don't like when the actresses dress like an actual award.

[Lauren Garoni]

She dressed a bit like a golden statue. This is a woman who definitely knew she was taking home the gold. But here's my thing. Demi Moore has one of the best vintage collections, so I would have loved to have seen her wear something from her own archive and give Brad Goreski a night off.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I'm with you IO.

[Lauren Garoni]

A debris in Loewe.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's so nice to see someone not look sexy or pretty on a red carpet. But no, seriously, she looks incredibly chic. She wasn't going for that. And I think it's incredibly cool of her. Not everyone has to dress like Demi Moore or Zendaya or whoever.

[Lauren Garoni]

Very true. And we've seen theme dressing on the red carpet. We've seen cosplay on the red carpet before, and frankly, I'm tired of it. But I am here for IO's homage to Julia Roberts Golden Globes look from the early 90s.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. Pretty niche reference, but a cool one.

[Lauren Garoni]

I don't know. It's come up recently in years. And she just worked with Julia Roberts on a Luca Guadagnino film, so I imagine that's the connection.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Cute.

[Lauren Garoni]

Timothee Chalamet in Tom Ford Heider Ackerman's.

[Chelsea Fairless]

First red carpet look. Not obsessed with this. Like, it's fine, but I don't love the scarf. It kind of reminds me of, like, the Eugene Lang guys that we went to college with. Yes, and not in a good way.

[Lauren Garoni]

I'm sad to say this, but if this is what Tom Ford looks like without Tom Ford, I don't want it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think it's just that we're not really ready for, like, a skinny pant on a man right now, even if.

[Lauren Garoni]

It is on Timmy.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

We have Zendaya In Louis Vuitton times two, she wore one look on the red carpet and a different look inside the award show.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Again, I don't like this precedent that she's setting, because I'm sure there was a third look for the after party, right? Or was there not?

[Lauren Garoni]

I'm not quite sure.

[Chelsea Fairless]

The dress is beautiful. Like, it's beautifully constructed. It looks beautiful on her body, but to me, it's just not that interesting. She's someone that has such an eccentric red carpet Persona. I don't know why she would drop all of that now.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. Award show fashion often defaults to what we call old Hollywood drag, and this look is no exception. But she can't keep getting away with changing into another dress at the same event. That is sartorial cheating, Chelsea. Okay. Commit to a gown and submit yourself to be judged by your choice.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I don't think she needed to do this. I think she's cooler than this. Or I like to think that she.

[Lauren Garoni]

Is Jodie Foster in Dior. Gasp. Not Armani.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's not that interesting, but it does feel like her. She doesn't look draggy in it. It's kind of whatever, but, like, why not? Sure. I'm kind of indifferent about this.

[Lauren Garoni]

I don't know. This looks like a sleep sack for the AAR to me.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Jodie Foster, of all people should be wearing Bottega Veneta. Like, that would be a great look for her. I think we need to get her out of the Dior universe or keep her in the Armani universe. Honestly, props for consistency.

[Lauren Garoni]

They were too busy making a gold statue gown for Demi Moore, Andrew Scott, and Vivian Westwood. Look, I love when men wear color on the red carpet. I love when men wear ties on the red carpet since so few wear them now. How retro of him. It almost makes up for the fact that this monochrome look isn't exactly a serve.

[Chelsea Fairless]

See, I like it. I think it is a serve. I disagree. I'm just seeing it now. By the way, I totally missed this during the awards themselves. I like that the tie matched. He committed.

[Lauren Garoni]

We have Kathy Bates in unknown. I could not find an outfit credit for this.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, let Kathy Bates live. Like, yes, it would be cool if she randomly served cunt. But also, let's normalize people just dressing themselves and wearing their own clothes, which is what I could only assume happened here.

[Lauren Garoni]

That's what I was gonna say. I love the function over form of wearing sneakers on the red carpet. Good for Kathy Bates. It's not even those chic platform sneakers and I just know that those sneakers have great arch support.

[Chelsea Fairless]

You know, if anyone needs the Simone Rocha Crocs, it's Kathy Bates.

[Lauren Garoni]

Come on. Someone at Simone Rocha has to listen to this podcast. Don't give Chelsea anything. Gift. Kathy Bates. Those Crocs.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I actually did give in to the Crocs. Someone asked me once and was like, would you ever wear Simone Rocha Crocs? And I said, no, but I've changed my tune a little bit. I mean, I'll show them to you. Hold on.

[Lauren Garoni]

Oh.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Like, it's not crazy.

[Lauren Garoni]

It's also all black, even the bedazzled part.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So, yeah, it's not like the platform ones. It has a little bit of faux fur. Like, I just wear them with jeans. I mostly wear them around the house.

[Lauren Garoni]

Very cute.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I'm not, like, wearing them with a dress like, out. But anyway.

[Lauren Garoni]

Okay, a few more. Pamela Anderson in Oscar de la Renta.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Gorgeous. I think the bare faced makeup look. I assume there's a little makeup happening there.

[Lauren Garoni]

I think there's a Charlotte Tilbury flawless filter. Yeah.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't believe that she's wearing no makeup. She just doesn't have, like, the heavy contour. But that is doing a lot for her look in general. This dress looks way cooler in that context, I think, than it would if she had, like, a full beat.

[Lauren Garoni]

Absolutely no stylist, no hair and makeup. She's really bringing the 90s red carpet energy that we long for and somehow looks better than 95% of the people on the red carpet who I'm sure spent all day prepping to get ready.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. Good for her.

[Lauren Garoni]

Margaret Qualley and Chanel.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Margaret Qualley is a gorgeous person. Like, I'm sure if I saw this in real life, I would be, like, dead. You know, she's a princess. She's perfect. Is this my favorite red carpet look of all time? No, but see, this is why it's so hard for me to talk about these red carpet looks. It's like, I don't even know what to say about half of them because so many of them are engineered to be so inoffensive. Like, what could you possibly say about this?

[Lauren Garoni]

This is true. What I would say is this. Margaret Qualley. I know you're obligated to wear Chanel, but you deserve better. So much better. Cate Blanchett in Louis Vuitton. She is re wearing a dress she wore at Cannes this past May.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Great. I don't remember it from Cannes, so it's all new to me.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah, I Think if you've been on the red carpet this long, you're obligated to wear a gown you've already worn. We love a sustainable queen.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, especially when you are doing like 10,000, like European film festivals that not everyone in the United States has necessarily seen those photos of your like 10 looks from the Venice Film Festival or whatever. Why not?

[Lauren Garoni]

Truly, if People magazine did not clock that this was an outfit she had worn at Cannes, I would have no idea.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But again, this does fall into the category of of person dressing like the award.

[Lauren Garoni]

This is true. And she took home none for disclaimer, which I thought she really would have won.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Who beat her though?

[Lauren Garoni]

The actress from Shogun, I would assume.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Oh, right.

[Lauren Garoni]

This thing now where the limited series category is so stacked, but with shows that ultimately do another season like Shogun when it premiered was like, we're not doing a second season. This is like a TV movie series. Limited series. But now they're shooting season two.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That doesn't count.

[Lauren Garoni]

Get it out of the category so that Cate Blanchett can win. Shall we get into our best and worst dressed picks now?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Sure. Who are yours?

[Lauren Garoni]

Selena Gomez and Prada. I know, I know. Perhaps a safe choice for best dress. Look, Chelsea, I'm not a Selena.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That was Prada is my second thought.

[Lauren Garoni]

I'm not a Selena Gomez person. Nor do I really like it when Prada makes Grace Kelly esque gowns. Somehow this outfit, this ensemble, it moved me. Her hair, the jewelry, Betty Blanco on her arm.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know about that. She is very pretty. I think she looks beautiful. But again, to me, this falls into that like, very safe, very trad sort of red carpet territory that I just don't find to be super interesting. But that's just me.

[Lauren Garoni]

And then my other pick on the male side would be Eddie Redmayne and Valentino. What a perfect muse for Alessandra Michelley's Valentino. Because Eddie Redmayne looks like a doll Alessandra Michelley would keep in his apartment that suddenly came to life.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, maybe not a doll, but like a Pinocchio, Like a marionette.

[Lauren Garoni]

For sure. He's. He's being controlled by syrings. Absolutely. He's too spindly.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, he's so spindly.

[Lauren Garoni]

Look. Is this outfit kooky? Yes. But Eddie Redmayne is someone who low key, goes for it on the red carpet. I don't know if you've seen his Met Gala looks.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I have.

[Lauren Garoni]

Was he on most people's worst dress? Yes, but he's my best dress. Pick. Okay. I'm here for the nautical crosshatch pattern of his suit. I was into the high collar, peach button down. I loved it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I liked it too. I wouldn't have guessed that it was Valentino, though. It kind of has, like a Marimecco kind of look to it. But good for him. He did something different. My best dressed is Tilda Swinton in Chanel. I think she might be the only truly chic person there, and I am astounded at Tilda Swinton's ability to take the most, like, old timey Chanel look and actually make it look modern. I know the hair is doing a lot as well as the extreme, like, thinness and the height and stuff.

[Lauren Garoni]

And her lack of makeup also helps modernize.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That's true. It's the Pamela Anderson effect.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes. It helps modernize what would otherwise be a Bunny McDougal ensemble.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, that's true. If she had a full face of makeup, it would read as Bunny McDougal. And I also loved Coralie Farjay in Balenciaga. Maybe the coolest looking person there because a lot of people wore Balenciaga, but I feel like she actually sort of embodied the punk side of that brand in a way that no one else did or was trying to like. The combination of the hair and the dress was really good. And also, she just looked like a cool person in a dress. Like, it didn't look like a full, like, drag race situation.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. I don't know if it's because she's also French, but it feels like when Isabelle Huert wears Balenciaga, there's a coolness to it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's, again, it's the lack of makeup. It's the bare face to look.

[Lauren Garoni]

Very true.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I liked Zoe Saldana in St. Laurent. For the people doing the old school red carpet, old Hollywood bullshit, I feel like this was the best execution of that look.

[Lauren Garoni]

And when I saw it on the red carpet, I was like, huh, Saint Laurent. That's a interesting choice. Color me shocked when I went to go watch Emilia Perez. And it's a Saint Laurent production.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That's why I'm surprised that Selena Gomez wore Prada.

[Lauren Garoni]

Right.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Because all the other leads wore Saint Laurent, as they should. And Saint Laurent is actually a good brand for Selena Gomez or has been historically.

[Lauren Garoni]

Very true. Okay, Worst dressed.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I'm going with angelina Jolie and McQueen. I hate to say it, but, like, that look was such an incredible look in the collection. It was the finale look, but it was aided by the fact that it also. It had a Matching gimp mask. And when you take the gimp mask out of the equation, this look does not land. Like, it looks like. It could be, like, Zuhar Maraud or something.

[Lauren Garoni]

It's not chic. And she's always. And we discussed this in our recent VIP Angelina Jolie episode. She has always defaulted to rather conservative red carpet choices.

[Chelsea Fairless]

She defaults to movie star.

[Lauren Garoni]

And I think she was trying to pair her edginess with the movie star glamour Persona, and it just did not work for this look.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But there was also nothing edgy about, like, the hair and the makeup. Like, there was no attempt to even do so much as, you know, a strong eye or something, let alone, like, a wet look, hair or something. That might make sense with that dress.

[Lauren Garoni]

You want her to have a Kim Kardashian beat?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know. It didn't come together for me.

[Lauren Garoni]

So my least favorite look is Glen Powell. He was also in Armani. Glen Powell, notably a very hot guy. Nikki Glaser commented on this.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, like, who is this guy?

[Lauren Garoni]

Did you see the Sydney Sweeney film? Anyone but you?

[Chelsea Fairless]

No.

[Lauren Garoni]

Okay, well, he was in that. Did you see Top Gun? Maverick?

[Chelsea Fairless]

No.

[Lauren Garoni]

Did you see Twisters?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yes.

[Lauren Garoni]

He's the Twitch streamer hurricane guy.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Oh, okay.

[Lauren Garoni]

And he does an Excellent Matthew McConaughey impression. Does that move you at all, Chelsea?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Sorry. I was contemplating doing it. All right, all right, all right.

[Lauren Garoni]

Do it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

No, I'm not going to.

[Lauren Garoni]

Whether you agree or not, he's Hollywood's current hot guy, and I feel like he's really pushing our goodwill with that by throwing together a look that is a velvet blazer with no tie, just an open silk shirt with a cummerbund. No, no, no. This looks less made to measure and more. I woke up 20 minutes before the red carpet starts, and I grabbed three disparate things from my closet.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I can't say that I'm a fan of this either. Although, at least he's hot.

[Lauren Garoni]

Is he hot, Chell?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I guess. Like, he's generically hot. Maybe he's not hot. I can't figure it out. This outfit is making him less hot. That much I know.

[Lauren Garoni]

So that does it for our red carpet coverage. To those whose outfits were not mentioned, we are sorry, but your ensembles were just too boring to talk about.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, even most of the people we did talk about were boring. Like. Like, it's rough out there.

[Lauren Garoni]

Okay, let's get into Emilia Perez.

[Chelsea Fairless]

The time has come.

[Lauren Garoni]

So I knew a little bit about this movie before watching it, but I think, like, many of Us chronically online people. I learned about its potential limitations as a musical when I saw this clip on Monday.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Hello. Very nice to meet you. I'd like to know about sex change operations.

[Lauren Garoni]

I see, I see. I see. Men to woman or woman to men?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Man to woman. From penis to vagina. See, that's the one memorable song. That's what should have been nominated, if anything, from Emilia Perez.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, before we hop into this movie, can we discuss how difficult it is to find on Netflix because it just won a bunch of Golden Globes? Shouldn't I be bombarded when I enter Netflix to watch it? I had to go to the search bar to find it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I had to search for it, too. Look, I didn't think this was the best movie, but I didn't hate it either. At least it's memorable. I have never seen any film like this in my life.

[Lauren Garoni]

Not that I like this movie, but I do kind of understand where the French director and writer Jacques Odillard was coming from with this movie. If you understand that he was inspired by an opera. This movie makes a little more sense. If it's like, okay, this like. Like, elder, Gen X, youngish, boomer Frenchman was inspired by opera and I guess was kind of like, how do I make this contemporary and woke and, like, really gritty, but also beautiful? Emilia Perez would come out.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know. I don't know why this man felt compelled to tell this particular story, which.

[Lauren Garoni]

Primarily, this movie was shot on a soundstage in France.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. It's set in Mexico. There are no Mexican actors in it. Selena Gomez has been criticized online for not being particularly good at speaking Spanish.

[Lauren Garoni]

No. And a clip from one of those Academy panels has resurfaced where the casting director is discussing the fact that they could not find any capable Mexican actors. And so the Latina actors that they cast, they rework their origins into the script. Right. Where, like, Selena Gomez several times is like, when I grew up in America, I knew it was about the kingpin of a cartel transitioning. I didn't understand how Zoe Saldana and Selena Gomez's narratives would be weaved into this. And, boy, was I shocked.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. I don't know what I expected this movie to be like, but it really is like some bizarre combination of Trapped in the closet, Mrs. Doubtfire, and that season of Weeds that was set in Mexico.

[Lauren Garoni]

This film has more in common with Mrs. Doubtfire than I thought.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

I don't feel compelled to withhold spoilers. This feels like the type of film that people don't Wanna watch and just wanna hear. Okay, what is this movie about?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. So this cartel boss gets gender affirming.

[Lauren Garoni]

Surgery, hires Zoe Saldana, who is a middling, a working class lawyer for reasons unknown, and is sent to far off regions that were most likely shot on a soundstage in Paris, including Bangkok and Tel Aviv, to find the perfect gender affirming doctor.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, but then she gets like all of the surgeries at once and it's like some scary, like, skin I live in situation.

[Lauren Garoni]

When Carla Sofia Gascogne wakes up, it is shot like the scene from Face off where Nicolas Cage wakes up mid Face off surgery. Also, did they purposely find people who couldn't sing? Because the actor who plays the doctor in Tel Aviv. Do you think when he got to set, he was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know this was a musical. Like, you should cast someone who can sing. And they were like, no, no, no, you're fine. You're great.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's so, so bizarre.

[Lauren Garoni]

Oh, how could I forget? The other reason that Zoe Saldana is hired is to get new passports for her newly transitioned self. And also to set up Selena Gomez, who is married to the cartel boss, Carlos. Sofia Gascoigne, who plays this role, is born in 1972. Selena Gomez, I believe, is around our age, his early 30s. So, like, that already is like, what's happening now?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, an age gap relationship is not unheard of in the world of organized crime.

[Lauren Garoni]

I guess you're correct, but. So Zoe Saldana is tasked with finding the correct Swiss chalet and Swiss accounts to. To set up Selena Gomez and their children, and also to fake Carla Sofia Gascon's death, which Selena Gomez seems very shocked that her cartel kingpin husband is murdered. And it's like. Well, I mean, it's very sad, of course, but isn't that one of the things you think could happen to your husband, given the career he's chosen?

[Chelsea Fairless]

True. But anyway, then after faking her death, she decides to Mrs. Doubtfire, Selena Gomez and her kids.

[Lauren Garoni]

The structure of this film is so bizarre. Again, it makes a lot more sense if you realize the director was inspired by an opera because it does have opera logic. Because it's a hard cut and it's like four years later. And Carlos Sofia Gascoigne meets Zoe Saldana in London. By the way, why does Zoe Saldana do this? Because Carlo Sofia Gascoigne's character is like, here's $12 million. Your life has changed now. And then meets Zoe Saldana at a dinner party. In London and is like, hey, I need you to do something for me. And Zoe Saldana, correctly, is like, you're gonna kill me. Or shall I say, you are going to kill me? Oh, no, I am dead. You are here. I am dead. Not the lyrics, but not far off.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Not far off.

[Lauren Garoni]

Carlo. Sofia Gascon's plan as Emilia Perez is to be reintroduced to the family four years later because she wants to see her kids again as a distant cousin that Selena Gomez never knew about. So now Selena Gomez, who's finally settled in Switzerland, as have the children, as evidenced in that scene where they're like, we really miss skiing, have to go back to Mexico to move in with this distant cousin, this distant cousin who hugs Selena Gomez's children and we know as the audience, her own children so tightly and so weirdly at first, there's no chill. There's no pretense of like, let me slowly warm up or have this family warm up to me. And quite like that scene in Mrs. Doubtfire. I'm so sorry, we don't mean to sound transphobic when we keep comparing it to Mrs. Doubtfire, but, like, there is a scene so similar. Remember the scene where Robin Williams, Mrs. Doubtfire, is talking about Sally Field's sex life?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

There is a scene identical to that in Amelia Perez where Amelia Perez is saying to Selena Gomez, like, did your husband satisfy you? Was he good? Did you cheat on him?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I know. I'm like, girl, shut your mouth, Selena. The thing about Emilia Perez is the titular Emilia Perez is presented as, like, the hero of this story, despite being the most evil and fucked up person. Like, whether she was the cartel boss or this, like, Mrs. Doubtfire situation, we're.

[Lauren Garoni]

Not even getting into the third act, which you would think, okay, now Amelia Perez is going to ingratiate herself back with her family in her true self. No, no. Now we introduce a plot point where she's going to fix Mexico and its kidnapping problem, except not really. She's just showing people where the. The dead bodies that the cartel has murdered of their children and husband are. What? What is this?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I know. She started a nonprofit to identify the remains of her own victims. Essentially, like, if I was a trans woman, like, this would not be the representation I would want. And I understand why a lot of trans people are like, no to this movie.

[Lauren Garoni]

I understand why many Mexican people are like, this is stereotypical and awful. Because I'm sure those who haven't watched the film and are hearing us describe it, you've seen movies before. You're like, well, of course, Emilia Perez has a come to Jesus moment of, like. Like, oh, my God, look at all of this destruction that I have brought against the people of Mexico because of what I've done. My former life as a cartel kingpin. Nope. Never reflects on it once.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, she presumably starts the nonprofit because she feels guilty, and it kind of makes it seem like once you transition, you, like, also are just, like, a fully different person. Like, she went from evil to good or something while still being evil, as we know. But I don't know who said this, but I read something online before I had seen the film that was like, the director of Emilia Perez doesn't realize that Emilia Perez is the villain and not the hero. And it's so true.

[Lauren Garoni]

It does feel like a boomer Frenchman's idea of a progressive film.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

Doesn't mean that it is at all. But also, I'm sorry, you do remember at Cannes, they gave the best actress prize to all three of the actresses in this film, and it won the jury prize, and Netflix bought it in a competitive bid for $12 million.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, you can't say that the acting, maybe not the singing, but the acting is good. Not Selena Gomez, but certainly Carla Sofia Gascon and Zoe Saldana for sure.

[Lauren Garoni]

And I will say the film gets away with a lot because it is, as much as we've given it thus far, very well directed. Yeah, I don't like the musical sequences, but they're incredibly proficient in the way that they are directed and very stylized.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I was confused because you know how when it won at the Golden Globes, Carla Sophia Gascon gave a sort of inspirational speech about how this film was about showing the light or some positivity. Basically, I'm like, this movie has the darkest, most Shakespearean ending. What about the message of this film is positive, apart from the fact that it stars like a trans actress?

[Lauren Garoni]

There are no more musicals coming out that you're gonna force me to see. Because we gotta talk about on the podcast, right?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't think so. I don't think so.

[Lauren Garoni]

Before we discuss Baby Girl, let's check in Chelsea. Has anyone sent you more how you doing messages?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, we got a text from Kaylee to both of us, so Now I'm up 4, and I guess you're up too.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, that could be a 0.5 for me. All right, Baby Girl. As soon as I heard it was.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Called Baby Girl, I'm like, yeah, I'm interested.

[Lauren Garoni]

I'm done.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right? I'm in. Right?

[Lauren Garoni]

I want to be the Baby Girl. So my first question is, did you see it at the amc?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yes.

[Lauren Garoni]

Can you report? I have heard that they've cut the AMC Nicole Kidman ad.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I did not see it.

[Lauren Garoni]

So this is true. They've cut the Nicole Kidman ad before.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Seeing Nicole Kidman in Baby Girl, it's truly demented. First, they re edited it for no reason.

[Lauren Garoni]

They edited it down, I think, to try to mitigate the camp factor. And it's just like, no, you gotta lean into it. Make an extended cut.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Actually, yeah, we need the director's cut.

[Lauren Garoni]

Where should we begin?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, what did you think of it?

[Lauren Garoni]

Generally, I'm of two minds about the film. It definitely circumvents expectations of the genre and that kind of story. But because of that, about halfway through the film and kind of towards the end, it feels very rudderless.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know. I liked it a lot. I liked that it avoided the obvious cliches. I liked that it has as close to a happy ending as an erotic drama can have.

[Lauren Garoni]

Before you had seen it, you were asking me, like, what is the movie closest to? And I said, it's kind of like unfaithful if all of the stakes were taken away.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right.

[Lauren Garoni]

Do you agree?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. I don't think the stakes felt particularly high. Although there was the constant threat of her career being ruined, it never really came to a fever pitch.

[Lauren Garoni]

So that's sort of my point about circumventing expectations of the story because the film doesn't really have a message. But if it does, it's kind of an anti cancel culture film. Because anytime it's like, you know, this could really ruin your career, people are immediately like, but I'm not gonna do that.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

So you're like, okay.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know if it has no message. I think it's just a film about a dominant, submissive relationship.

[Lauren Garoni]

The part that I found interesting about the film is I think it's one of the first movies to show our own over pornography brained society. We watch too much pornography or we have too much access to it, but we are under sexed.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

And I thought what was very fun about the Harris Dickinson character is that in the trailer he's presented as a kind of Mickey Rourke in Nine and a Half weeks dominant. He knows everything he's doing. Get on your knees. But in that scene where he's like, get on your knees, he's like, or. Or not, or whatever you want to do.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I know, but I kind of like that.

[Lauren Garoni]

That's true to life.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Like how savvy of A top. Is this, like, early 20s guy going to be realistically when put in a situation like that? I think that correctly speaks to his experience level.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. And that's what I enjoyed about it. To speak about the film in nine and a half weeks terms, they are both simultaneously Mickey Rourke's, you know, dominant character, and Kim Basinger, submissive character. At the same time, they're sort of trading off. She will submit, but multiple times, she's just like, fuck you. No, I'm not gonna do that. Which would be your reaction.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, but she loves drinking the tall glass of milk that much. She loves. And I was like, is this part of her kink? Because you know how she's always, like, basically, like, I can't get off unless there's some degree of risk attached to it. It is the risk. Her, like, shitting herself after drinking a full, fat glass of milk like, in the middle of sex.

[Lauren Garoni]

I mean, she didn't do it in the middle of sex. She's in a restaurant when that scene happens. But I understand your point.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Like, choosing to bottom after doing that is insane.

[Lauren Garoni]

I think for you, that's the risk.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Girl, I'm not even, like, fully lactose intolerant. I think for just anyone, that is a risk these days. Like, who's drinking that much cow's milk on a daily basis so that your body would be used to something like that.

[Lauren Garoni]

Look, we didn't see the scene where she popped a lactate before she down that glass of milk.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Also, I think Antonio Banderas may have been miscast. He is simply too hot to be this cuck character who can't fuck.

[Lauren Garoni]

It needed to be Hugh Grant. It needed to be someone where during the initial sex scenes, you were like, I get it. But I also get why she's. She's doing this. But again, I guess that is part of the going against the expectations you would have of, like, yeah, even this hot guy, he can't get her off.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I know, but it's like, I feel like they cast him in the role of, like, Adam Driver in Marriage Story or something. But it's Antonio Banderas, right? Not that I don't love to see Antonio Banderas. I always love to see Antonio Banderas. I think it was just personally upsetting for me watching him be, like, attacked and told that he can't.

[Lauren Garoni]

That I will say a thing that this film accomplishes very well is from the moment that Harris Dickinson is introduced, you are immediately like, oh, I get it. Like, I would. Yeah, I would cheat on my husband. I would Risk it all for this socially awkward man.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, he's very charismatic. Although I will say I feel like they could have gone a little harder or perhaps grosser with the sexual sex scenes themselves, because the milk drinking was really the most transgressive thing. Right?

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. I mean, the sequence where she's licking the milk out of. Out of a little saucer. Yeah.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, might I just say I am sick of seeing movies with crowds of prudes. This happened to me with Saltburn and it also happened to me with Baby Girl. And I get that there. There's a level of like. Like some of these scenes are quite comedic, but my audience was laughing at all the wrong parts. They laughed at the milk lapping and it's like, yes, I understand that this 50 something woman lapping up milk is ridiculous, but also like, have you never heard of bdsm?

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. I was fortunate to be with a more mature audience. The film is funny.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

But not in those scenes. I guess the thing that surprised me the most is someone that participated in Nosfer Girl Baby For Two. We're trying to like Barbie Heimer, Nosferatu.

[Chelsea Fairless]

You saw them both on the same day.

[Lauren Garoni]

I didn't see them on the same day, but I saw them in the same weekend and I saw Nosferatu first. Nosferatu, which is doing better at the box office, is actually the more transgressive and erotic film that has more explicit sex scenes than baby girls.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I feel like we needed that. Like, it needed that Call Me by youy Name Peach moment.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And it's especially weird that it doesn't have that, given how playful their sexuality is.

[Lauren Garoni]

It's pretty vanilla. Clearly she has spent time watching BDSM Daddy Dominant submissive pornography. You get the sens. Never has really been able to enact this stuff.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And she still didn't. Like, I've seen worse in Madonna's Express Yourself music video than Baby Girl.

[Lauren Garoni]

You know what? We did need a scene of them at Strand going through Madonna's sex book, being like, what about this? As the movie climaxes, pun intended, there is a scene where Harris Dickinson and Antonio Banderas confront each other. And it does subvert expectations. If you're used to, like, like, unfaithful, where you're like, well, someone's got to get murdered. But it also doesn't go into a transgressive place that I thought it was going to go to, where I'm like, do they all fuck?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I guess it's just more true to life in that respect.

[Lauren Garoni]

So that's Sort of. My point is, like, I appreciate that it does not play into those tropes. It does not punish her. They go out of their way to make a point that her past trauma from her childhood is not the reason that she's into all of this.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Although they really mentioned that in passing. She's like, yeah, I grew up in a cult. Never addressed again.

[Lauren Garoni]

I'm in that really extreme form of therapy. What is it? Edrm like the lights and the pulsing. I really feel bad for people that have epilepsy because there is a rave sequence. Flashing lights with no warning.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I know they couldn't watch after sun and now they can't watch this. Horrible. Also, can we just say incredible performance by Nicole Kidman.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes. Deserved to win at Venice.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Isabelle I'llupert fittingly awarded her that prize because she was the jury president. And this movie does feel like, I guess, a slightly more sanitized Isabelle Huppert film. It's that kind of performance. Certainly. It's that kind of character.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. It reminded me of the Piano Teacher. It reminded me of Elle in some ways.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

The hard line CEO.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, also, like the Piano Teacher, it's like it has this sort of masochistic older woman and younger man dynamic.

[Lauren Garoni]

In her letterbox interview, Nicole Kidman said that the Piano Teacher was one of her four favorite films, as well as.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Clueless and A Woman under the Influence, which was incredible news to us. One of us. One of us.

[Lauren Garoni]

Thoughts on the needle drops of this film? Because I'll tell you, the one time that my theater definitely laughed was when Father Figure started playing.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, that was supposed to be funny.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. But it's tough with a film that is, I'll say it, this sexless to then have an erotic montage set to Father Figure.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I wouldn't say that it was sexless. Like, there was sex in it. I just don't think it was as depraved as we would have liked, given the fact that. That sex is the whole premise of this film.

[Lauren Garoni]

No, no, but that's my point is, like, because there's so little sex in it, to devote a montage of sex scenes to Father Figure, which is objectively a funny song choice. I'm like, I don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Also, I'm not getting the vibe that he is her father figure.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, that was the other thing. Who's the father figure?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Antonio Banderas is more giving daddy than, like, that guy.

[Lauren Garoni]

Which brings us to the other question, which is, who is the baby girl.

[Chelsea Fairless]

She'S the baby girl.

[Lauren Garoni]

My baby girl. That's a line I need read by Austin Butler as Elvis.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay. But the thing is, it's like, baby girl, that sort of terminology that's touching more upon a sort of age play dynamic. Whereas what she's really into is this lactose kink. And also, like, whatever that kink is, where you act like a dog. Puppy play.

[Lauren Garoni]

Right.

[Chelsea Fairless]

She's more into being a dog than anything. To which I say, why are you feeding this doggy the candies from the shitty hotel room? Make her eat actual dog treats. If we're doing this, spoiler alert. She. She needed to eat actual dog food at some point.

[Lauren Garoni]

Doggy Chow. I love doggy Chow. Did your theater laugh? I bet not. But I bet you laughed a little bit on the inside when there's that one shot where Nicole Kidman's in a corner and it looks exactly like the ending shot from Blair Witch Project.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. Yep. Loved that.

[Lauren Garoni]

I was like, what are we doing here?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Nicole Kidman is really hot. That's another takeaway I have from this film. And it really made me want to rewatch Eyes Wide Shut. It's been a really long time since I've seen that movie. I don't think I saw it since, you know, I saw it in the theater.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. And I think those two films have a lot more similarities.

[Chelsea Fairless]

The holiday timeline, for one thing.

[Lauren Garoni]

Beau said at Christmas. I will say, I do think I get why they released it at Christmas. The film ostensibly is set at Christmas, although it's a real blink and you miss it. I think they should have waited till Valentine's Day to release this film. Yeah, but nobody listens to me, Chelsea. But, yeah, if you are looking for a pseudo transgressive dynamic in movies, I would recommend the OG of this, which is a film called Nine and a Half Weeks. There is also a film called the Lover, which is one of my favorites, which is currently on tubi. Although trigger warning for that, that is about a teenage girl that sleeps with an adult man. Chell, you got any other recommendations?

[Chelsea Fairless]

No.

[Lauren Garoni]

I mean, it's funny. I was having this conversation with a friend about these kinds of movies. Erotic thrillers, erotic dramas. What movies have the best dynamic, like an actual relationship dynamic? And that's very hard. I would say my favorite is the Handmaiden. If you've not seen the Handmaiden, the.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Handmaiden is great, but I second your Nine and a Half Weeks recommendation. If for no other reason than you can see, like, the 80s Comme des Garcon store in it.

[Lauren Garoni]

Absolutely. Yeah. I guess I was expecting. Not to spoil nine and a half weeks, but that kind of ending where there's sort of a lesson learned, but it is more true to life. It just sort of ends.

[Chelsea Fairless]

There is a lesson learned, which is that you have to tell your spouse about your kinks. That's the moral of this story.

[Lauren Garoni]

You have to tell Antonio Banderas. Please cover my eyes when you finger me.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. So I can mentally think about being a dog.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, the porn she's watching. So the film opens with Antonio Banderas and Nicole Kidman having sex, and then she immediately goes into, I assume, her office in her beautiful minimalist apartment and masturbates to daddy daughter porn.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But her orgasm with Antonio Banderas, her fake one, was, like, too convincing.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, evidently she's had decades to practice.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I guess.

[Lauren Garoni]

I know. I was sort of on Antonio Banderas side, where it's like, I'm sorry, if you've been with him for, like, 30 fucking years.

[Chelsea Fairless]

They've been together for 19 years.

[Lauren Garoni]

Okay. If you've been together for almost two decades and you have such a convincing orgasm, how is he supposed to know?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

Team Antonio Banderas.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Love him.

[Lauren Garoni]

All right, I think we've said it all. I truly don't know what we're going to talk about next week.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I'm sure there will be something.

[Lauren Garoni]

You need to see Nosferatu.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I will.

[Lauren Garoni]

We need to see the Brutalist, another film that I'm sure people are like. I'm not going to spend four hours watching this movie. Please just tell us what it's about.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I'm hyped for that, actually.

[Lauren Garoni]

All right, guys, we'll be back next week.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Indeed we will.

[Lauren Garoni]

Wait, hold on. Before we go, Chelsea, did you get any more how you doing messages?

[Chelsea Fairless]

No, I got three and then one that you were also on.

[Lauren Garoni]

Okay, so you still win. I got, let's say, one and a half to your three and a half.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I'll check in on you and make sure that you're okay.

[Lauren Garoni]

All right. Will you guys check in on me? All right, guys, see you next week. Week.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Bye.