On the Grammys, Bianca Censori, Karla Sofía Gascón

Summary

Every Outfit Podcast Episode Summary
Hosts: Chelsea Fairless & Lauren Garroni
Episode Title: On the Grammys, Bianca Censori, Karla Sofía Gascón
Release Date: February 7, 2025

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1. Opening: Embracing Minimalism

The episode kicks off with Chelsea Fairless sharing her recent experience with decluttering her wardrobe, prompted by a series of personal events including fires:

• Chelsea Fairless [00:04]: "I spent $40,000 on shoes."

• Lauren Garroni [02:07]: "This is upon me because there are many boxes from our initial move, which was last May, that just haven't been dealt with. I think it's time to deal with it."

Chelsea discusses her journey towards minimalism, emphasizing her desire to simplify her wardrobe to reduce stress and increase efficiency in her daily dressing routine.

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2. Grammys Breakdown

Bianca Censori's Red Carpet Appearance

A significant portion of the episode delves into Bianca Censori's controversial red carpet look at the Grammys:

• Lauren Garroni [05:37]: "So there’s been a lot of back and forth about if Kanye and Bianca crashed the red carpet and then got kicked out."

• Chelsea Fairless [05:53]: "I loved it. And I know that some people will interpret that as a cosign of Kanye in his behavior. It is not. I am simply talking about the aesthetic merits of this look, the conceptual merits of this look."

The hosts analyze the aesthetics and underlying messages of Bianca's "almost nothing" outfit, debating whether it signifies agency or if it's merely an extension of Kanye West's notorious influence and behavior.

Kanye West's Involvement

They explore Kanye's relationship with the Grammys and his complex behavior:

• Chelsea Fairless [05:07]: "I think he could get on the Grammys red carpet whether he was invited or not. But also, this behavior totally checks out. He notoriously hates the Grammys."

They discuss Kanye's sporadic participation and his infamous disdain for the Grammys, referencing his past actions, such as the incident where he famously "pissed on his Grammys."

Dochi’s Performance and Wins

The conversation shifts to artist Dochi's achievements at the Grammys:

• Lauren Garroni [11:01]: "She did win three Grammys. But none of those were in the televised show. She won for Best Dance Album, Best Dance Pop Recording for Von Dutch, and Best Recording Package."

Chelsea and Lauren commend Dochi's strategic performances and collaborations, highlighting her unique pairing with designer Thom Browne and her impact on fashion and music.

Karla Sofía Gascón's Scandal

A critical discussion ensues regarding Karla Sofía Gascón's controversial behavior:

• Lauren Garroni [60:38]: "She is in a self-destructive approach that I cannot interfere with and I really don't understand why she's continuing. Why is she harming herself?"

The hosts delve into the fallout from Gascón's offensive tweets, her attempts to apologize, and the resultant impact on her career. They critique the lack of accountability and the disproportionate consequences she faces compared to male counterparts in similar scandals.

Beyoncé’s Historic Win

Beyoncé's triumph in securing the Album of the Year award is lauded:

• Lauren Garroni [21:24]: "I think that if Beyoncé didn’t win album of the year this year, there would have been a riot."

Chelsea reflects on the delayed recognition Beyoncé has faced, suggesting that her win feels overdue and emblematic of her enduring influence in the music industry.

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3. TV News: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Revival

The hosts touch upon rumors surrounding the potential return of Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

• Lauren Garroni [28:11]: "Sarah Michelle Gellar has steadfastly been like, I’m not coming back to this character."

Chelsea speculates on the possible directions of the sequel series, imagining Buffy in a mentoring role as a "watcher" for new slayers. They express cautious optimism about the project's prospects, given Sarah Michelle Gellar's history with the character.

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4. Celesbian News: St. Vincent and Ellen DeGeneres

St. Vincent’s Family Reveal

St. Vincent (Annie Clark) courageously announces her wife and child during her Grammys acceptance speech:

• Chelsea Fairless [33:17]: "This is how Jodie Foster came out at the Golden Globes. This is how Queen Latifah like, like, half came out at the BET Awards."

The hosts commend St. Vincent for continuing the tradition of public figures embracing their identities, drawing parallels to historical moments of visibility and acceptance in the LGBTQ+ community.

Ellen and Portia’s Kind Science Infomercial

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi promote their skincare line, Kind Science, in a lighthearted segment:

• Lauren Garroni [35:52]: "I used to think the more money I spent on my skincare, the more effective it would be. The better it would be, the better I’d look."

Chelsea and Lauren humorously critique the infomercial's straightforward and somewhat generic marketing pitch, juxtaposing it with Ellen's previous public controversies surrounding kindness and authenticity.

Anne Heche’s Estate Sale

They briefly discuss the somber news of Anne Heche's estate sale:

• Chelsea Fairless [38:59]: "But to make this even sadder, apparently part of the reason for this is that her estate is in trouble because when she died, the people whose like, houses that she crashed into then sued the estate for damages."

The hosts express sadness over the auction, citing the challenges faced by Heche's estate due to legal issues, and lament missing out on bidding opportunities.

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5. Met Gala Insights

The hosts provide an in-depth analysis of the upcoming Met Gala's theme and potential fashion implications:

• Lauren Garroni [41:50]: "Let's pause here for a second. That is absolutely fine for someone like Donald Glover or Chloe 70, who are famous people with actual personal styles."

They discuss the theme "Super Fine Tailoring Black Style," interpreting it as an emphasis on menswear and tailored fashion. Chelsea envisions innovative and deconstructed menswear-inspired gowns, while Lauren speculates on designers like Thom Browne and Valentino playing pivotal roles. They anticipate standout looks from designers and co-chairs, predicting both adherence to and deviations from the theme that could range from traditional menswear to avant-garde interpretations.

• Chelsea Fairless [44:35]: "I would want to wear a Saint Laurent double breasted tuxedo in the vein of their last women's wear show."

Both hosts share their personal fashion aspirations for the Met Gala, highlighting their enthusiasm for menswear-inspired attire and the potential for creative expression within the event's framework.

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6. Movie Reviews: A Complete Unknown & Conclave

A Complete Unknown: Bob Dylan Biopic

Chelsea and Lauren review the biographical film A Complete Unknown, which chronicles Bob Dylan's pivotal moments:

• Lauren Garroni [50:06]: "The film is told in a structure of Joseph Campbell's A Hero's Journey."

They discuss the film's adherence to traditional biopic structures, praising Timmy's (the actor) performance while critiquing the film's predictable narrative. They also touch upon authentic portrayals and the balance between artistic license and historical accuracy.

• Chelsea Fairless [52:31]: "I do appreciate the fact that someone finally made this scene with Bob Dylan."

Chelsea highlights key scenes that effectively depict Dylan's transformation and struggles with fame, despite reservations about the film's conventional approach.

Conclave: Catholic Church Representation

The conversation shifts to the film Conclave, a political drama centered around a secretive papal conclave:

• Lauren Garrone [55:45]: "Now, did you feel nervous when you were watching Conclave?"

The hosts debate the film's portrayal of the Catholic Church, with Chelsea arguing that it presents a generous and positive image, contrary to widespread claims of sacrilege:

• Chelsea Fairless [56:25]: "I think it's actually very generous to the Catholic Church."

Lauren contrasts their views by citing external criticisms, including Megyn Kelly's negative review, which labels the film as "the most disgusting anti Catholic film I have seen in a long time."

They further discuss Sofia Carla Gascon's involvement and the subsequent backlash from her offensive tweets, exploring the ramifications for the film's reception and the broader discourse on accountability in Hollywood.

• Lauren Garrone [63:53]: "They probably had to disinvite all of the Oscar winning actors that were scheduled to appear."

Chelsea expresses concern over the film's association with Gascon and the potential impact on its awards season trajectory.

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7. Conclusion and Upcoming Topics

As the episode wraps up, Chelsea and Lauren hint at future discussions, including a much-anticipated Valentine's Day hotline episode. They encourage listeners to stay tuned for more fashion, culture, and entertainment insights, ending on a light-hearted note despite the heavy topics covered.

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Notable Quotes

• Chelsea Fairless [03:31]: "I'm just trying to get dressed to, like, run errands or something."

• Lauren Garroni [10:20]: "But hey, it's given us a very thrilling conclave esque award season green book could never truly."

• Lauren Garroni [67:26]: "I cannot believe that this film has yielded this amount of discourse."

• Chelsea Fairless [69:18]: "This is its own Greek tragedy."

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This episode of Every Outfit offers a comprehensive and spirited discussion on the latest happenings in the Grammys, Hollywood scandals, fashion events like the Met Gala, and cinematic releases. Chelsea and Lauren blend fashion critique with cultural commentary, providing listeners with both insightful analysis and entertaining banter.

Transcript

[Chelsea Fairless]

I spent $40,000 on shoes.

[Lauren Garrone]

What's the matter, Morty? Coral.

[Chelsea Fairless]

The spring 10 to mine on wool dress, floral.

[Lauren Garrone]

The spring break gowns. Beautiful gowns. Fashion has changed. No, it hasn't. Hi, I'm Lauren Garrone.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And I'm Chelsea Fairless.

[Lauren Garrone]

And welcome back to another episode of the Every Outfit podcast. Chelsea, how you doing?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Life is good. My in laws are coming to stay with us in three days. There's a lot going on, trying to get the house ready and stuff.

[Lauren Garrone]

And I believe last week you were doing a closet declutter. Did this have anything to do with your in laws coming or just.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, after the fires, I realized, like, I am just holding on to a lot of shit that I don't actually want or need.

[Lauren Garrone]

Did you hold on to your old driver's license that you posted on Instagram?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Of course. Of course. Yeah. That was crazy. I found my 2007 driver's license in, like, an old, like, a vintage clutch bag that I hadn't opened in clearly over a decade.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, that's the Chelsea I remember meeting.

[Chelsea Fairless]

The 2007 Chelsea.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yeah, that Blunt Bob.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, also, I don't know what the universe is trying to tell me, because I found that driver's license. And then maybe three hours later, I was going through my books and I. I found a copy of Jane Fonda's autobiography that was inscribed to me, and it said, Happy 27th, Chelsea. And I was like, what is the universe trying to tell me? Taking me back to when I was 27.

[Lauren Garrone]

Isn't that a thing? In one of our favorite bad movies, home is where the heart is. Or is that anywhere but here? I confused those 1999 Natalie Portman films.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Wait, which one's the one where Natalie Portman gives birth?

[Lauren Garrone]

I think it's Home is where the heart is, but there's some number that keeps coming up in her life, and that's when she knows shit is about to go bad.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Great. I can't wait to find out what this all means.

[Lauren Garrone]

I mean, you don't have to worry about being part of the 27 Club.

[Chelsea Fairless]

True.

[Lauren Garrone]

The age that many musicians and comedians and actors die.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I did cross that bridge, thank God. But it's been really cathartic getting rid of clothes and stuff.

[Lauren Garrone]

This is upon me because there are many boxes from our initial move, which was last May, that just haven't been dealt with. That I think it's time to deal with it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I want to strip things back. I want everything to match. I don't want any patterns. I Don't want any colors. I want getting dressed to be easy. I don't want to be, like, sorting through shit that I bought at an opening ceremony sample sale, like, 10 years ago.

[Lauren Garrone]

I think what I'm hearing is, Chelsea Fairless closet sale.

[Chelsea Fairless]

No, that's not happening. I've donated a lot of stuff to the out of the closet thrift store in West Hollywood. I've donated other stuff to fire relief and things of that nature. And then, yes, some designer stuff that's been consigned.

[Lauren Garrone]

So if you're becoming a minimalist, what does this mean for the caftans?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I did an intense edit. You know, I got rid of maybe 10, 15. I still have, like, 30, so.

[Lauren Garrone]

So you got rid of a minority stake of your caftan collection?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I just got rid of, like, some of the shittier ones. And also I moved them to the downstairs closet. Like, I don't need to be confronted with 40 rainbow colored caftans every time. I'm just trying to, like, get dressed to, like, run errands or something.

[Lauren Garrone]

I'm excited for this new era because I think where you're going is just a uniform, Chelsea.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, definitely. I reject this fashion system that oppresses me.

[Lauren Garrone]

I feel like the Fuckettes will be shocked to hear that.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I am rejecting buying trendy shit. I'm rejecting fast fashion. I'm saying yes to not wanting to kill myself every time I get dressed. I've realized that all I really want to wear is cashmere sweaters and trousers. I want to work towards that sort of uniform that like Diana Vreeland had when she was working, where it's just about the sweaters and the trousers, and then I can mix in the blazers and the button downs and the shit that I wear. Anyway.

[Lauren Garrone]

Don't call this a row ification makeover for Chelsea, though.

[Chelsea Fairless]

No.

[Lauren Garrone]

All right, shall we get into the Grammys?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, let's do it. Shall we talk about the woman of the hour, Bianca Censori.

[Lauren Garrone]

So there's been a lot of back and forth about if Kanye and Bianca crashed the red carpet and then got kicked out. He was nominated for best rap song for the song Carnival from his Vultures one album. However, that's an award that's given at the. Well, if Kathy Griffin called the Technical Emmys, the Schmemis, what's the Schmemmies version of the shmamis? Yeah, the Shammies, which I guess is televised, but I did not realize. Is it an entirely different theater? So he was invited, but his award just wasn't during the big show. So there was nowhere for him to sit. Which would explain how he was able to get onto the red carpet but did not make it into the Grammys theater for the show.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think he could get on the Grammys red carpet whether he was invited or not. But also, this behavior totally checks out. He notoriously hates the Grammys. Remember when he posted that photo of him himself, like, pissing on his Grammys, like he put them in the toilet?

[Lauren Garrone]

Yes. But he still does participate in the Grammy industrial complex. Curious. Okay, so what everyone wants us to talk about, which is Bianca Censori's almost nothing everything out outfit.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I loved it. And I know that some people will interpret that as a cosign of Kanye in his behavior. It is not. I am simply talking about the esthetic merits of this look, the conceptual merits of this look, and I think it succeeded on both fronts.

[Lauren Garrone]

To say it's shocking, I think gives it too much credit. Personally, I thought Bianca in the full fur coat the moment before she revealed she was wearing basically nothing was a far more interesting look. But whatever. Obviously this is a controversial look for many reasons. It can't be shown on television or in most publications without being censored. But also it calls into this question this ongoing narrative belief that Bianca Censori is being coerced by Kanye to wear nothing in public. Which is not something I necessarily agree with.

[Chelsea Fairless]

No, I'm sure that her and Kanye have some like wax Bengali dynamic. I'm not denying that. But I think to act like she's a victim of domestic violence that has been like trafficked nude onto the Grammy red carpet is just very speculative. And I think that speaks to the fact that that's the explanation that people want for this, which is quite dark, clearly.

[Lauren Garrone]

And the amount of content that came out of it of lip reader experts on TikTok trying to decipher what they were saying to each other on the red carpet before she took the fur coat off. What did the Daily Mail have? It was like a head signal expert, which is all very silly look. I think two things can be true. I think she can consent and even enjoy wearing very little in public. But because we know that Kanye west is the architect of her look, it's hard for her to appear as anything but an accessory for Kanye and an accessory to his look and overall vibe. And because of that, it's hard to see her having the same agency as, say, a Rose McGowan or Julia Fox when they have worn very little on the red carpet.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Sure. But I do Think that we should let this woman speak for herself or not speak for herself if she chooses. Also, I think that when people look at the photos, the videos of this, people are saying, oh, my God, she has this dead look in her eyes. It's like, babe, that's fashion. Have you ever seen a model in a fashion show, like, they have a serious expression on her face? Just because she's not giggling like an actress that's nominated for an Emmy or something does, it doesn't mean that she is being controlled or abused.

[Lauren Garrone]

If you've seen the footage of her with Kanye at some after party, she's giggling, she's smiling, she's kissing him. Also, I feel like it bears mentioning for those that don't live in Los Angeles, we know people who have seen her out and about when there are no cameras to be seen. And she dresses this naked even when there are not cameras.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yes. This is a whole ass lifestyle for her. This look is the natural conclusion of the last 60 plus years of red carpet fashion. If we're considering this sort of mainstreaming of the nude illusion dress to be Marilyn Monroe singing Happy birthday, Mr. President, this is something that's been around forever. It's Cher and Bob Mackie. It's Beyonce and Kim Kardashian at that Chyna through the Looking Glass Met gala where they both wore these sort of nude illusion gowns. She has pushed the concept to the furthest point and this was inevitable. I'm actually surprised that no one's done it sooner.

[Lauren Garrone]

When Kanye was married to Kim, do you think he tried to suggest her wearing this kind of dress on the red carpet? He had to have.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know. It feels really of the moment. I mean, Galliano, a year ago did this look in a fashion show.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, I think what made that transgressive was the pubic hair. The Merkins, sure.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But I think it's still transgressive even if you have no pubic hair. Also, I feel like the outrage about this look is sort of predicated on the belief that the nude female body is inherently obscene. And, like, not to sound like Larry Flint during his obscenity trial, but I just don't believe that. It's not like she's picking up Little Chicago from daycare or something.

[Lauren Garrone]

No, she would wear a fur coat or a transparent trench coat if she were.

[Chelsea Fairless]

To me, the vibe of this is less like pornography and more like one of those Vanessa Beecroft performance pieces with the nude women.

[Lauren Garrone]

He did what he came there to do, which was dominate the Media cycle for a better part of the week.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. The goal was to shock. Everyone took the bait, especially the haters.

[Lauren Garrone]

Including us. Look at us. I hope this was the kind of final performance piece of this kind of statement now that she's, as you would say, shown Hole on the red carpet.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, we haven't seen Hole yet. We've seen a whisper of a vagina.

[Lauren Garrone]

Okay. Showing Hole might be the final frontier. So when she does do that, I think the idea of her being extremely conservative and overdressed from that moment forward like that would be very, very cool, for sure.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Final thought.

[Lauren Garrone]

Oh, God.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Robert Altman predicted this in Pret A Porter.

[Lauren Garrone]

Oh, yeah.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Truly, the impact of this film knows no bounds. So ahead of its time.

[Lauren Garrone]

I wonder if Kanye has seen Preta Porter.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I'm sure he has. As a culture. We finally caught up with Robert Altman in the 90s.

[Lauren Garrone]

All right, what else happened? Shall we talk about Dochi?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Sure.

[Lauren Garrone]

So Dochi performed Denial is a River and Catfish, I think showing the full array of what Thom Browne can do, from school uniform to glorified jockstrap.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Good for Thom Browne. This is the best thing to happen to them in ages, truly. Although I do resent what they did to her. The look that she was wearing when she won best rap album, we did not need to see that silhouette, but the performance looks were great.

[Lauren Garrone]

She won best rap album. Dochi, who's only 26, is the third female rapper to win this award. Can you believe that?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I can.

[Lauren Garrone]

The first was Lauryn Hill, and then the second was Cardi B, who presented her with the award.

[Chelsea Fairless]

She's so cool. She clearly has an amazing team, and I think the performance speaks to that.

[Lauren Garrone]

And I do think, to your point, this is the coolest Thom Browne has ever looked. This is a great pairing of artist with a fashion designer. It feels reminiscent, speaking of Lauryn Hill, of Lauryn Hill's relationship with Ralph Lauren during her White Hot success period.

[Chelsea Fairless]

She's also made the current incarnation of Gucci look the coolest that it's ever looked. With that, like, late show performance or whatever, where her hair was tied together with the other dancers. So cool. I think it's cool for a rapper to lean into clothing that looks like a uniform because that is a point of difference. Not many people dress like that. Okay, thoughts on Gaga?

[Lauren Garrone]

You might be shocked to hear this. I am into this Gaga. I am into gothy, long black hair Gaga.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's very frozen coated.

[Lauren Garrone]

I was gonna say it is giving Madonna circa Ray of Light, but her appearance at the VH1 Vogue Fashion Awards, where she wore a bunch of Oliv Thayskin's dresses.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, she wore a lot of his stuff during that era. And he also designed the bodysuit that she wore in the Abracadabra video.

[Lauren Garrone]

Amazing.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But it is kind of surprising because obviously Lady Gaga wouldn't exist without Madonna. So much of what she has done is a reworked version of something that Madonna has previously done. But this is a little bizarre. Although I guess in terms of timelines, it makes sense. Like, she would be in her Ray of Light era now.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, it does seem like the final frontier for pop stars is to have a goth phase. So, yeah, I think things are right on time.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. Paws up for Abracadabra. That was the best MasterCard commercial I've ever seen.

[Lauren Garrone]

I know. I was like, get that money, Gaga. But I don't know if this inspires me to acquire a MasterCard card.

[Chelsea Fairless]

We all have them already, don't we? Do you not have a MasterCard?

[Lauren Garrone]

I don't.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That's wild.

[Lauren Garrone]

Perhaps I've been influenced. Okay. I think it's been stated on the podcast, I am not a Lady Gaga aficionado like you are, Chelsea. I like what I like. I like the singles. I like the Star Is Born soundtrack. I like Chromatica. No, thank you. With Disease. No, thank you. With Joanne. But this single seems to be fusing art pop fame monster Gaga with Chromatica. Gaga. And I'm here for it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's very her. It's exact the kind of song that people want from her. And the joy and the relief that I felt even 10 seconds into this music video was incredible.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, yeah, that driving rave. Abracadabra, Kadabra. I was like, I'm in. And then she starts doing the, like, Lady Gaga verse, and I'm like, okay.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, no, I love that she's such a fascinating artist because she is so hit and miss. Like, in the span of a year, we've gotten Harlequin and this and Joker and the Bruno Mars song and I'm sure something else that I've completely forgotten. Oh, and the Chromatica Ball film.

[Lauren Garrone]

Right. I mean, she exists in multitudes. I think what is impressive, again, as an outsider, is the leveling up of her team, because I will say, and I think I discussed this when we discussed the Chromatica Ball dancing. Not exactly Gaga strong suit. But the choreography in Abracadabra is so incredible. She worked with the choreographer Paris Gobel, who is known for her work with Rihanna. She was the choreographer for Her super bowl performance and has done a lot of the Savage Fenty shows, and I think it shows.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, she has a very specific style, certainly.

[Lauren Garrone]

So a press release, Chelsea described the video as portraying a dance battle between the light and dark sides of Gaga. I don't know if you got that from the All White Dancers and then the All Red dancers.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Also, during the Grammys, she performed with Bruno Mars, not singing the Die With a Smile song, but a cover of California Dreamin.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yeah, sure. Why not?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, the thing about this Grammys was that it was more of a fire relief benefit, which I understand why they made this hard pivot a few weeks ago during the fires immediately afterwards. But at this point, I'm like, so much of this was such a bummer. I just want the escapism of the Grammys for two seconds.

[Lauren Garrone]

It's very true. Although I prefer this performance of California Dreaming to a performance of Smile While I Die.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Die with a smile.

[Lauren Garrone]

Whatever.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Smile While I Die is great.

[Lauren Garrone]

I'm sure that's what Bruno Mars was feeling like, because when they won a Grammy for that song, I didn't realize that the tables were paired off in a way where it just looked like Bruno Mars was a third wheel to Lady Gaga and her fiance. Like, he's just standing there awkwardly waiting to go on stage with Lady Gaga as she's kissing her fiance.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I will never understand the appeal of Bruno Mars, but anywho, Chapel Roan.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yes.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know where we start, I guess with her red carpet looks, which.

[Lauren Garrone]

Were great if I garnered anything from the Grammys. And I know we've talked about our annoyance about celebrities wearing multiple looks, but people were wearing looks on top of looks on top of looks.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, I think it's fair to do the red carpet look. The winning the award look in the performance look. She had three looks.

[Lauren Garrone]

So on the red carpet, she Wore Spring, Summer, 2003, Jean Paul Gaultier couture.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Great, beautiful.

[Lauren Garrone]

When she won her Grammy, she wore Acne Studios, which was fresh off the Runway.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Also major, although she had that princess hat, which wasn't acne. I forget who made it, but it was made with, like, a Zondra Rhodes squiggle textile. And when I was looking at her sitting in the audience, it was reminding me of that, like, old scandal where I forget what fashion show it was. But remember when Tavi Gevinson went to some fashion show with some insane hat and then got fully canceled because everyone was like, this bitch is being so rude to the people behind her? And I thought about that with Chapel, because can you imagine sitting anywhere near that woman?

[Lauren Garrone]

They're just like, moving their head based on how Chapel's moving her head. Well, I thought that Chapel Roan, during her award speech, gave the quote of the year, which was that hat began to slide off. And she was like, you know what? The hat's sliding off, but that's okay. And I was like, what a metaphor for 2025 in her speech for Best New Artist.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, she definitely deserved that.

[Lauren Garrone]

She called for record labels to give a livable we age and healthcare, especially to developing artists. She said it was devastating to feel committed to my art and feel so betrayed by the system and dehumanized when she herself was dropped by her record label during the pandemic. What a loss for that record label. It's sort of like when you learn that Universal originally had the substance and they dropped the film because it was too weird.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I mean, yeah, this is an even more extreme version of that. It's nice that she is raising awareness about this issue, but she really needs to figure out how to act more human because the fact that she gets up there, opens her journal like it's a slam poetry night. Cannot make this point succinctly. Just rambles on for what feels like an eternity. I don't know. I wish she could just speak more from the heart in the way that Lady Gaga did when she brought up trans rights during her acceptance speech, and have it not be a whole performative thing.

[Lauren Garrone]

Lady Gaga is an actress. She has to memorize those lines.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It really makes you appreciate someone like a Fiona Apple who is truly anti establishment, truly does not give a fuck, can be in a situation like that and speak from the heart about something that she cares about.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yes, her iconic MTV Awards speech that concluded with this world is bullshit.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Like, I think that's what Chapel Roan thinks she's doing. Yes, but she's not because she's. She cares too much and lacks the, I don't know, basic social skills to accept an award.

[Lauren Garrone]

I guess she's too earnest. Yeah, labels, we got you, but do you got us? Is more of like a cheerleading cheer that let's burn this whole world down.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But that said, great performance of Pink Pony Club.

[Lauren Garrone]

I would best describe the set design of this performance as if Pee Wee's Playhouse took ketamine.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It was cute. I feel like her VMAs performance was better and maybe a little more unexpected expected.

[Lauren Garrone]

Fittingly, she came out on a giant pink pony.

[Chelsea Fairless]

The pony was cute, but I don't think it was the best performance of the night. I think that was Dochi and Charlie.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, before we can get to Charlie, I think we need to mention the fact that Beyonce finally won Album of the year. And I know the presenters were part of the LA fire department, but this win was so historic. Like, I feel like if Beyonce didn't win album of the year this year, there would have been a riot. Like, Taylor Swift would have led a riot and torn down the crypto.com center.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, yeah, they were already bullied into giving her this award for this particular album.

[Lauren Garrone]

I know, but I wish they had announced her win. Like, remember when Shemar Moore gave finally the Daytime Emmy to Susan Lucci? And when she won, he opened up the envelope and he's like, the streak is over. Like that. That's the energy I needed for sure.

[Chelsea Fairless]

This, of course, is a long time coming. She deserves it. But a little bit of a still Alice vibe, right? Because even if she had won album of the year for the self titled album or for Lemonade, that would still be, in part an award for her entire career. Like, this feels very, very late in the game. Uncomfortably so.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yeah, she definitely should have won for Lemonade. That's the year that Adele won and was sort of like, this should be yours.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think she should have won for the self titled album. I believe that was the year that Beck won for an album that no one gives a shit about, which Kanye.

[Lauren Garrone]

Tweeted a whole screed about. My question is, why was Blue Ivy on stage with her when she won?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I thought that was weird, for sure.

[Lauren Garrone]

Do you think the other children, Rumi and Sir, are like, why does she keep getting to go these award shows? Mom, you're nominated enough that you can spread it out.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, how old are they?

[Lauren Garrone]

Probably six or seven.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know. So they're too young to give a. I don't even know what they look like.

[Lauren Garrone]

They look like a mixture of Jay Z and Beyonce.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I'm sure they do. Although I felt bad for Beyonce. She wore Schiaparelli. But when she was getting, I think, the country award, the first award that she got for best Country Album, like, you could see the, like, underwire, the boning, like, coming out of the dress. I really felt for her stylist in that moment, who I think is also her cousin.

[Lauren Garrone]

Okay, well, I was about to be like, someone's getting fired, but you can't fire family. All right, shall we finally get into Charlie xcx?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Sure. To me, this was her year. She did win three Grammys. But none of those were in the televised show. She won for Best Dance Album, Best Dance Pop Recording for Von Dutch, and Best Recording Package, which is an award for the COVID art and the album design, which also goes to the art directors, which is quite cool.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yeah. If you're gonna win any of the. What do we call them? Schrammies shmamies, that's the cool award to win. But yeah, she definitely delivered the best performance of the night and I think has put the cherry on top of the brat cake. Let's retire the brat era. Let's move on to something else. Although, were you surprised that Billie Eilish, who was in the audience was nominated, didn't come on stage to perform guests with her?

[Chelsea Fairless]

That was so weird. Especially when Charlie does the like, hey, Billie, you there? Part of the song. And it's like, she is, but she isn't. Billy also performed Birds Like a Feather, so maybe there's a world where she was like, I can't rehearse for both of these performances. I don't want to do it. It's too much. But it's like, we didn't actually need that much from you.

[Lauren Garrone]

No. And because Billie Eilish was in the audience and they were cutting back to her, it was giving that infamous Oasis performance where I can't tell them apart, but, like, Noel is in the audience while Liam is performing.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It was deeply weird. And I kind of question why they chose to do that song without her. Because they could have just done 360 or something that would have had the same effect, basically.

[Lauren Garrone]

I wonder if the producer's initial pitch was Girl so Confusing because Lorde was with them at the after party and she was just like, no.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, Girl so Confusing is the most classically Grammys of the songs from that record. Although it's not what they submitted to the Grammys for Best Pop Duo Recording. That was guess mistake. Yeah, but good for her. I'm glad she won.

[Lauren Garrone]

And the top award of the night, Kendrick Lamar won Record of the Year for Not Like Us. Again, still confused about the difference between album versus record.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But whatever record goes to the producers of a song. Album is for an entire album and song is for the songwriting.

[Lauren Garrone]

Right. He also won Song of the Year for Not Like Us. And I guess at this point Drake should just fake his own death. Millions of people have listened to this song, have sung lyrics basically saying that Drake is a pedophile. The entire Grammys audience was singing along to the song. There is no way that Kendrick Lamar isn't performing this at the super bowl this Sunday. Like, you just would have to fake your own death and go away for five years.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I did find it kind of crazy that when he won the first time, they started playing this song and they timed it so the second he walked on stage was the certified lover boy, certified pedophile lyric. I'm like, that's really dark that someone kind of figured that out to match the timing.

[Lauren Garrone]

Or maybe Kendrick knows his song so well, he's like, I'm gonna slow down the walk so that I'll be on stage by the time we get to the pedophile lyric.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Which, of course, is at the heart of Drake's defamation lawsuit against Kendrick.

[Lauren Garrone]

But it's with everyone but Kendrick. It's with Spotify. It's with Universal, the record label. So embarrassing. Just take the L. It is a.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Pretty fucked up thing to say about someone, considering there's no receipts that Drake is a pedophile.

[Lauren Garrone]

Okay, but Drake called Kendrick Lamar a wife beater. That's what kicked this all off. It's like, you're a wife beater and you're short. And Kendrick went, oh, really? Okay, well, I'm gonna nuke your entire existence.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think this whole thing is petty and embarrassing. Not Like Us is a great song. I do appreciate the fact that someone finally made a diss track that could be a successful song on its own. I don't know. To see grown men behaving like this, it doesn't make either of them look good. Although what did make Kendrick look good was that Margiela Canadian tuxedo that he was wearing.

[Lauren Garrone]

He's having a great two weeks. We will see him Sunday performing at the Super Bowl. All right, I think that's it for the Grammys.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I'm over it.

[Lauren Garrone]

Okay, moving on to some TV news. In news only me and 15 other fuckettes would care about. Chell. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is maybe coming back with Sarah Michelle Gellar. A pilot has been ordered. It is being touted as a sequel series, not a reboot or a prequel. Chloe Zhao, the director of Nomadland, will be directing the pilot, and Nora and Lilia Zuckerman, a poker face, will be writing the pilot. There seems to be no involvement from the series creator, Joss Whedon, which I think is a good thing, because the man and his style of writing, which was highly influential on myself and a whole generation of annoying millennial screenwriters, has aged like milk. Now, Chelsea, I'm sure you're asking, what could this series be about? Logically, it would make sense that Buffy would come back not as a vampire slayer, but as a watcher. A watcher. Chelsea is like a life coach for a vampire slayer. We have not seen Buffy back on screen since the series finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which aired on UPN in 2003. Buffy had overcome evil once and for all and was free of the burden of being the only slayer. See Chelsea, Buffy, with the help of the potential slayer franchise, one is not vanquish the First. The first in the original evil, which was actually introduced in a season three Christmas episode where the first is trying to get Buffy sometimes vampire love angel to kill himself.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I have no idea what the you're talking about. I'm sorry. I support that this is important to you and I support the that love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I can't participate in whatever this is.

[Lauren Garrone]

Sarah Michelle Gellar has steadfastly been like, I'm not coming back to this character. But would you imagine what television show made her think about coming back to her original series differently? Yes. She was recently quoted as saying, I always said no because it's in its bubble and it's so perfect. But watching Sex and the City, I think she means it just like that. And seeing Dexter, I realize there are ways to do it. It definitely gets your mind thinking, well, maybe Chelsea, if this Buffy sequel becomes like, in just like that, you will have to do this podcast on your own because I will have killed myself.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, I just want to interject that I actually have been watching the new Dexter prequel series with Sarah Michelle Gellar. With your girl.

[Lauren Garrone]

How is it?

[Chelsea Fairless]

It does the job. And honestly, I will watch any Dexter thing, regardless of quality. There's some things about it that I dislike, but I just love the format of Dexter where it's like, every episode there's a new serial killer that he then murders.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yes. And that was the great thing about OG Buffy is they had the overarching villain of a season and then they would have the monster of the week, which was incredibly influential on a lot of television, including premium cable and streaming. Like with you and Dexter, I will watch any version of Buffy. I am a little more heartened by this statement that Sarah Michelle Geller made on her Instagram recently where she said, I have always listened to the fans and heard your desire to revisit Buffy and her world, but it was not something I could do unless I was sure we would get it right. This has been a long process and it's not over yet. I promise you we will only make this show if we know we can do it. Right. And I will tell you that we are on the path there.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, I'm happy for you.

[Lauren Garrone]

I realized in researching this, I think I know why I Am the Way that I Am, which is my three favorite shows all ended within a year of each other. Buffy ended in 2003. Sex and the City ends in 2004, and then Six Feet under ends in 2005. And those were shows like Back to Back to Back. I was Ride or Die For. And I realize I have not had a Ride or Die show since then.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Really?

[Lauren Garrone]

I don't think I want to get my heart broken.

[Chelsea Fairless]

See, I've had many and currently yellow Jackets, which is coming back so soon.

[Lauren Garrone]

Oh, that's true.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And also White Lotus and also the Kardashians. This is great.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yeah. But these are shows that I would be on and in obscure forums for searching for fan fiction about them.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right, right. I see the distinction. Moving on, we have some Celesbian news. First of all, St. Vincent hard launched her wife and child at the Grammys, which is very heartwarming. Good for her. I do want to point out that dropping bombs like this in an acceptance speech is so power lesbian. Like, this is how Jodie Foster came out at the Golden Globes. This is how Queen Latifah like, like, half came out at the BET Awards.

[Lauren Garrone]

Right, right.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And I love that St. Vincent is continuing with that tradition.

[Lauren Garrone]

St. Vincent, whose real name is Annie Clark, said, thank you to my beautiful wife Leah, our beautiful daughter. This record was obviously a labor of love. Making records is like building a house when you have no floor plans and you don't know what wood or concrete is. So she won best Rock song during the Shmammys. But I don't know if you saw this clip in the press room, where, of course, she was asked about, like, this wife and this child. Like, is the child new? And she was like, yes, yes. It's. It's very young. And then she clarified. She was like, the baby is young. The wife is regular age.

[Chelsea Fairless]

The wife, from what I gather from Google, is kind of a femme blonde chick. She's a creative producer of some sort, according to LinkedIn. But she clearly does not want to be famous, so we don't need to talk about her. But she did attend the Grammys with St. Vincent, so. So she's at least comfortable being there in that capacity.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, good for her.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Also, they were sitting with Kim Gordon, who looked amazing.

[Lauren Garrone]

I kind of am into this throuple table seating setup they had.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay. In other Celesbian news.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yes.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Ellen and Portia are doing infomercials.

[Lauren Garrone]

I've started doing something unconventional this year, and I'm just straight up watching cable TV again. And while I was walking on my walking pad and watching an old episode of er, which, let me tell you.

[Chelsea Fairless]

ER slaps, I remember it being a satisfying watch at the time.

[Lauren Garrone]

Every episode, fun stuff happens. Like, I forgot that Buddy McDougal plays Noah Wylie's grandmother, because that's, like, Dr. Carter's secret is he's actually rich, and she shows up in the episode. Anyway, while I was watching this, I was stunned to see Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi doing an infomercial for a skincare brand called Kind Science. And I was like, good for Ellen for supporting Portia in her side hustle. And then I looked up the brand, and I was mistaken, Chelsea. Because this skincare brand, Kind Science, is by Ellen DeGeneres. That's right. This is one of Ellen's 72 side businesses.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, yeah, I gathered that it was Ellen because the word kind was in it. And using that word after being canceled for not being kind is a choice. But, you know, it's within her rights to double down, so why not?

[Lauren Garrone]

I want to play a clip of the infomercial that I witnessed for you, Chelsea, and the Fuckettes. Let's see what Kind Science is according to Ellen DeGeneres.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Hi, I'm Ellen.

[Lauren Garrone]

I'm Portia.

[Chelsea Fairless]

We're talking to cameras that are in our living room about Kind Science.

[Lauren Garrone]

I used to think the more money I spent on my skin care, the more effective it would be. The better it would be, the better I'd look.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But it's not true.

[Lauren Garrone]

With Kind Science, my skin feels cleaner.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It feels more hydrated. I notice a difference in my skin. I notice a difference in yours.

[Lauren Garrone]

People see you, and they make a.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Big deal about your skin, and it feels really good. And that's all thanks to Kind Science. I don't know if it's all thanks to Kind Science.

[Lauren Garrone]

I think some lasers might be involved as well.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And most crucially, the fact that they are pretty much vegans. Like, vegans have the best skin of anyone.

[Lauren Garrone]

Chelsea, would you like to know what Ellen DeGeneres is offering in these products?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Not really, but I am getting the vibe that I don't have a choice.

[Lauren Garrone]

Nope. Let's play another part of the infomercial.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I am gonna give a Kind Science degeneres deal.

[Lauren Garrone]

Clever.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garrone]

Because my name.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I got it. Yeah. Okay. What are you offering? You'll get four of my favorite products, the gentle cleanser, the micro exfoliant, which I love. I use it as a mask. And then the firming serum, they're going to get that.

[Lauren Garrone]

I love the firming serum so much because it firms it up, firms it up, keep it firm. The hydration cream is amazing because it really does feel like your face just.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Took a drink of water.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yes, but it does. Yeah, it does. It actually does. I know that for you guys listening to this, it sounds like an AI created infomercial. I swear this exists. We will link it in the show notes. I think we gotta take part in this DeGeneres offer.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, can we get into the packaging though? Because it is pretty neutral and inoffensive. It's kind of giving budget goop. It's giving like the most expensive skincare brand at Target. Also might be stocked at Ulta, but would not be stocked at Sephora.

[Lauren Garrone]

No, no, no.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's not like looking as expensive as, say, Scarlett Johansson's outset skincare line.

[Lauren Garrone]

No, I mean, it's for people who watch infomercials. No disrespect. I'm obviously someone that does watch infomercials. So my question is, should we get the deluxe kit that includes six products? Because we would get 25% off, so it'd be 59.95 with free shipping. Or, you know, do we not want to commit so much and we'll just get the starter kit with four products?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, but are you really going to commit to using these products exclusively and for what period of time? Like that's not even worth it for the joke.

[Lauren Garrone]

But we get two free gifts, the ultrasonic facial cleansing brush and a radiance oil. Stay tuned for our journey with Kind Science by Ellen DeGeneres.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I've been contemplating whether we should even acknowledge this tragic bit of Celesbian news, but affect did send us a link to Anne Heche's estate sale. Very fucking sad.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yes. In the Instagram post that was sent to us, they say celebrate the life and legacy of Anne Heche with this extraordinary collection from her estate. Known for her fearless talent and captivating performances, Anne's eclectic style shines through in this seamless blend of art, fashion, furnishings and decorations. Bid now at the link in our bio.

[Chelsea Fairless]

This auction website has the saddest name I've ever heard.

[Lauren Garrone]

Everything but the house.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So dark. Not even a Julian's auction for our girl.

[Lauren Garrone]

I will say I was surprised that I hadn't heard about this and it wasn't getting more attention until I learned estate Sale. Their only social footprint other than the Instagram is their Facebook page. Like if you go to the Everything but the House website, it directs you to Facebook and I wish I had more information. Chell. I literally have spent a week trying to log into my Facebook account and I can't. I'm still waiting for them to send me a code.

[Chelsea Fairless]

We did see a few of the things in the auction though, like a Tiffany lamp, one of those pretty recent, like, tiger print Gucci blouses from the peak of the Alessandro Michelle era. So fucking sad.

[Lauren Garrone]

I don't know if it's a good thing or it makes it even sadder. We did miss the window to bid on anything.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That makes it even sadder. How would you even access this sale? I think just doing a classic like estatesale.net would have been less fucked up.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yeah, let that famous estate sale company handled handle this.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, and then let some like TikTok estate sale influencer go in there and show us all the good stuff.

[Lauren Garrone]

Hey, I'm at a great estate sale today. Actress Anne Heche was in films like Psycho and Seven Days and Seven Nights.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But to make this even sadder, apparently part of the reason for this is that her estate is in trouble because when she died, the people whose like, houses that she crashed into then sued the estate for damages. So it's left her son in this, like, fucked up position.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yes. Where instead of potentially inheriting money, they owe millions of dollars.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Horrible. That is the tragic conclusion of Celesbian News.

[Lauren Garrone]

All right, how do we get out of this, Chel?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Let's talk about the Met Gala. Okay, we have an update. So, as we previously discussed, the show this year is called Super Fine Tailoring Black Style. It is about black dandies. And this week, Vogue released the red carpet theme, which is tailored for you, according to a vogue.com article. That can be interpreted in a myriad of ways, but it mostly means embracing looks reflective of one's personal style.

[Lauren Garrone]

Let's pause here for a second. That is absolutely fine for someone like Donald Glover or Chloe 70, who are famous people with actual personal styles. The majority of people invited to the Met Gala at this point do not have a sense of personal style. That is what their overworked stylists are for.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay. But this theme is also about menswear. It's about tailoring generally, which is kind of inherent to the Met Gala. Right. All of these things are made to measure. Anyway. Very few people are wearing things that are, like, off the rack or not custom.

[Lauren Garrone]

Very true. And another quote from the Vogue article was that the exhibition's focus is on menswear, but the dress code is purposefully designed to provide guidance and invite creative interpretation. The creative interpretation part worries me.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Why? Again, what's so bad about tailoring? I feel like this might actually be interesting. If you think that women showing up in tuxedos and suits instead of gowns is boring, then I don't know what to say to you. You. I'm not speaking to you. I'm speaking to random online people.

[Lauren Garrone]

We talked about this when they announced the exhibition itself, which is there seems to be a fear, but also a hope that someone like, you know, Emma Coren is going to be dressed in Mew. Mew's interpretation of a Dapper Dan look or something that is, like, incredibly problematic like that.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. And I'm sure one non black person will do a problematic blaxploitation look, but I think that there is going to be a conscious effort to avoid that for most people.

[Lauren Garrone]

And that's why I said fear and hope, because it seems like people want people that are specifically coming to this year's Met Gala to dress racist.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I know, it's fucked up. I get that sense too. It goes back to the Bianca Sansori thing of, like, you want her to be an abused woman, not someone that's making a choice that you wouldn't make.

[Lauren Garrone]

So that you can write about it online. But ultimately, I think that this red carpet is just going to lean heavily into menswear and be very safe and possibly boring.

[Chelsea Fairless]

See, I don't think it's going to be boring because I don't think that menswear is boring. And I think that's like the dominant thought around this. Also, who's to say that certain aspects of menswear won't be exaggerated and deconstructed? Right? Because when you say menswear is a theme, we could get a gown that's inspired by a white men's tuxedo shirt. We could get a gown that's made entirely of bow ties or something like. There's a lot of avenues to go with that theme that don't necessarily equal. I'm just wearing a suit and tie.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, this begs the question, Chelsea, if you got a Met Gala invite, what would you wear?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I would want to wear a Saint Laurent double breasted tuxedo in the vein of their last women's wear show.

[Lauren Garrone]

I already love menswear, as do you. We wear it in our lives. I'm imagining if I was invited to the Met Gala, it would be Known for my preference of menswear. So it would work.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, but what would you actually like? What's the vibe?

[Lauren Garrone]

I would love if Tom Brown dressed me. Why not?

[Chelsea Fairless]

See, I'd like to see you in an almost like 70s Ralph Lauren type, like menswear look like with the vest, the jacket, like the whole thing.

[Lauren Garrone]

All right, I'm, I'm in.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think that would work for you. Or it's like what we should actually do is like go to Huntsman and get a suit made. I think a lot of people will be going to those like Savile Row tailors.

[Lauren Garrone]

That's always the tension with the Met Gala because there's the exhibition, there's a theme for the red carpet, and then there are the designers that can afford to buy tables and therefore invite people. I do wonder with this show if Vogue and the other sponsors are going to shell out for tables so that younger designers can have a place at the table. Invite people, and the red carpet is a little more diverse.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, Vogue does always do that. Also sometimes other brands do that. Like Balenciaga will invite a smaller designer as a guest.

[Lauren Garrone]

Thom Browne is always there. Valentino is another brand that always has a table. This would be the first year where Alessandro Michele is designing for Valentin. He already excels at dandyism as it is and has been dressing the co chair Colman Domingo in such a fashion for his award show run this award season. So I think that if I had to guess, Alessandra McKelle for Valentino would be dressing Coleman Domingo. And it's going to be extraordinary.

[Chelsea Fairless]

See, I hope that Alessandra Michelli continues in the Pier Paulo Met Gala tradition of having a guest that is a woman of a certain age. And I think that guest should be Diane Keaton.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yes.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Because they are two people that actively enjoy the look of like a three piece suit. But then it's like there's a giant rosette, there's 10 yards of pearls, there's every accessory known to man. And I also feel like this Met Gala should highlight women that already wear menswear, that aren't just wearing it for the night. Because this is what the theme is.

[Lauren Garrone]

So this was gonna be. My pitch is I think someone needs to cosplay as Andre Leon Talley.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Someone will probably like Jeremy O. Harris or something.

[Lauren Garrone]

But my pitch is Tracee Ellis Ross in a tux and a giant cape.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I anticipate many Andre references, for sure. There's certainly a lot of visual documentation of his various outfits to go off. Would also like to see Louis Vuitton bring back those monogrammed train cases that we saw in the Sex and the City movie, the ones that were auctioned off. We could have a recreation of that potentially.

[Lauren Garrone]

Yeah. And seeing that their menswear designer, Pharrell Williams is also a co chair, I think that's very likely.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think Louis Vuitton needs to dress Spike Lee.

[Lauren Garrone]

Ooh.

[Chelsea Fairless]

For this. I think that Saint Laurent. Saint Laurent always ignores the theme. They're like, we don't care what the theme is. We're bringing models and like, Charlotte Gainsbourg in tiny little black mini dresses.

[Lauren Garrone]

Right.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And I think they should do that this year as well. But I think they should also dress Fran Leibovitz.

[Lauren Garrone]

Okay.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Again, let's dress someone that already wears suits. That is a fashion icon.

[Lauren Garrone]

Our fan casting of what the red carpet could be like is making me excited. I will say that this is maybe the first year that the co chairs are actually fashionable people or have anything to do with fashion. Like Coleman Domingo, Lewis Hamilton, asap, Rocky, Pharrell Williams.

[Chelsea Fairless]

What do you mean they're like, always fashionable people? Or they're half fashionable people and half, like, just random actors?

[Lauren Garrone]

Was it last year that Chris Hemsworth was one of the co chairs?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Point taken. But it's. It's a mixed bag. Always, Always, always.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, time will tell. First Monday in May.

[Chelsea Fairless]

What we do know is that Dochi will be wearing some Thom Browne outfit for sure.

[Lauren Garrone]

Absolutely.

[Chelsea Fairless]

All right, time to move on to some movie news.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, we've seen some movies now, and we're gonna talk about them.

[Chelsea Fairless]

We've seen movies. Shall we start with a complete unknown? I'm dying to know your thoughts about this.

[Lauren Garrone]

I don't think it's that surprising. My thoughts on this, which is I didn't need a two hour film to learn. Bob Dylan was a tough hang.

[Chelsea Fairless]

See, I loved this movie. I thought it was great. Timmy was, like, mind blowingly good. He deserves that Oscar just as much as Adrien Brody does. Was.

[Lauren Garrone]

Putting my cynicism aside, I will say Timmy and all the other actors elevate an otherwise dull and by the numbers biopic.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think they succeeded in sort of tracing his journey from pre fame Bob Dylan to basically when he went electric, the famous Newport Folk Festival performance. I like that it was contained to a period. And I think Timmy was actually really good at showing this sort of evolution of Dylan abrasive Persona from before he was famous to the sort of height of his fame from when he was.

[Lauren Garrone]

A complete unknown to when he was completely known.

[Chelsea Fairless]

You mean completely known? Maybe too known.

[Lauren Garrone]

The film is told in a structure of Joseph Campbell's A Hero's Journey. Essentially. Like, while I was watching this, I was like, oh, this has the same story beats as Star wars, right? Like Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie have been trying to spread the pure message of folk music. And a new young prodigy is able to disseminate their message to the masses. But alas, he is not Luke Skywalker but Darth Vader because he wants to go electric. A plague to the folk movement.

[Chelsea Fairless]

They really needed to chill the fuck out about all of that. What? Squares?

[Lauren Garrone]

It's not that serious.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It's really not that serious.

[Lauren Garrone]

Listen to your pal Johnny Cash, man.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Great cinematic depiction of Johnny Cash. And of course, James Mangold also directed Walk the Line. So this is clearly a fascination of his. But so much charisma coming from the fake Johnny Cash.

[Lauren Garrone]

I maintain this is a by the numbers biopic. Not that different to Walk the Line doesn't mean it's unsatisfying. It just has very familiar beats, I will say, to illustrate the point of his abrasiveness with celebrity. I do love that scene where the woman is like, I love you. And you don't know if there's been a time jump of like, oh, does he have a new girlfriend? And she's like, why is that weird? And he just looks at her and goes, I just met you. So, like, yeah, this is weird. And I was like, all right, fair point.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, he really didn't have the temperament for that kind of fame.

[Lauren Garrone]

I also love the line, I think it's the record executive that's like. That says to Edward Norton, new plays Pete Seeger. You're pushing candles and he's selling light bulbs.

[Chelsea Fairless]

The times, they are a changing. That song works on multiple levels. And honestly, one of the best performances from Timmy in this movie, I think also a Hard Rains Are Going to Fall, which we got in the trailer.

[Lauren Garrone]

Did this resonate for you? There is, I'm going to call it a Forest Gump esque shot where Timmy as Bob Dylan is singing at the march on Washington for jobs and freedom. And the CGI of Timmy in this footage, because you're watching it on an old black and white television, is no better than Forrest Gump being inserted into archival footage. That film was literally 20 years ago.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Whatever. Why not? Can we talk about his disgusting fingernails, though? Because that was shocking to me.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, this movie was originally supposed to shoot in 2020 and then it got delayed by the pandemic. And when they were, were Going to shoot again. It got delayed by the SAG strike, so he was really able to go method. So I'm going to assume that Bob Dylan had filthy fingernails.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That was disgusting. Like, I would rather go on the, like, Christian Bale machinist diet than have to, like, walk around with my hands looking like that.

[Lauren Garrone]

It's funny you mentioned Christian Bale, because all I could think about was Todd Haynes's I'm Not There. And the era that this film takes place in is the Christian Bale section of I'm Not There.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right into the Cate Blanchet section of I'm Not There.

[Lauren Garrone]

I did just see this morning a quote from Joan Baez about her reaction to A Complete Unknown that I would like to read for you.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Sure.

[Lauren Garrone]

When he walked into the room, he took up all the oxygen. And so my part was always diminished in his presence. And in that sense, the film is accurate. Yeah.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And she also praised Monica Barbero's performance, which was incredible. Truly, as a Joan Baez, Stan, I respect. She completely deserves that. That Oscar that I guess is going to go to Isabella Rossellini for conclave. But anywho, do you have more thoughts.

[Lauren Garrone]

On A Complete unknown, or should we get into conclave now?

[Chelsea Fairless]

We can get into conclave. We can agree to disagree about a Complete unknown.

[Lauren Garrone]

It's worth seeing. If you're looking for a movie to watch with your parents, this is the one.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But I get it. If you don't like Bob Dylan at all, that is going to be a little bit of a barrier to entry. Although it wasn't for me, and I'm not the hugest Bob Dylan fan, I can appreciate certain parts of his catalog. Although, you know who doesn't appreciate Bob Dylan? Joni Mitchell. On the Internet, since A Complete Unknown has come out, there have been all of these, like, resurfaced interviews of Joni Mitchell talking about how much she hates Bob Dylan. And her whole thing is that like. Like he's a fake and that he puts on his voice that's based on, like, old hillbillies, basically, and that he's not authentic. Which kind of fair.

[Lauren Garrone]

Which is funny, because when I was watching A Complete Unknown, I was like, are they going to acknowledge that Bob Dylan is an invented Persona? And they do, in a singular scene where an old photo album is sent to Elle Fanning's apartment.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right. Well, I don't think that that creating an artistic Persona for yourself makes you a bad artist necessarily. I disagree with Jody on that. But I am here for the fact that she's Just down to publicly talk about this man. Anyway, on to Conclave.

[Lauren Garrone]

So I watched Conclave months ago. I'm very excited that you've now watched it. What did you think?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I loved it. I think it's another great example of a bitchy man film. To go back to our conversation from a couple months ago.

[Lauren Garrone]

So for those who haven't seen Conclave, the plot of the film is that a bunch of cardinals are getting together for the very secretive meeting where they pick a new pope because the old pope has died.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And there's four front runners, basically. But they all have their own sort of, like, scandals that, like, may preclude them from being chosen.

[Lauren Garrone]

Now, did you feel nervous when you were watching Conclave? Because I did. Because I kept expecting that one of the scandals was going to be that. I don't know, one of these cardinals slash priests was a pedophile.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I know, but when people say that this film is sacrilegious, I think it's actually very generous to the Catholic Church in that regard that they chose not to go there. Seen as though pedophilia is, like, the most shocking thing that could have happened, basically. Not to mention, like, realistic.

[Lauren Garrone]

I frankly find this film pro Catholic. It makes the Catholic Church look honestly great and a place I would like to go to each Sunday, which I haven't felt since I was a child. But you know who didn't appreciate this film? Chelsea. Megyn Kelly, who spoiled the ending of the film in a tweet, which I'm not going to read that part, but I just wanted to read this. This tweet just made the huge mistake of watching the much celebrated Conclave. And it is the most disgusting anti Catholic film I have seen in a long time. Okay, now I want your letterbox list of the most anti Catholic films. Shame on Ralph Fine, Stanley Tucci, and John Lithgow for starring in it, and shame on director Edward Berger, Parentheses, among others. I don't know. I think this made the Catholic Church look great.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, but who's your Pope? Because I would have picked Stanley Tucci.

[Lauren Garrone]

Oh, St. Stanley Tucci. Hive forever.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Cardinal Bellini, or whatever the fuck his name was, loved him.

[Lauren Garrone]

Hell, yeah. Now that you've seen Conclave, do you agree with me that while I love that Isabella Rossellini is being nominated for awards, including Best Supporting Actress at the Academy Awards, she does not deserve this nomination.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think she was great, but she just had such little screen time. Like, the screen time that she did have was quite impactful. And I suppose that is the definition of a supporting actor, but I don't think that this is what she should win her Oscar for.

[Lauren Garrone]

No. And seeing that Margaret Qualley didn't get nominated for the Substance, it's like, eh, we could have maybe slotted Isabella Rossellini out and put Margaret Qualley in. Because Isabella Rossellini is in four minutes of this movie, and most of it is just her peering down hallways and looking at computer screens.

[Chelsea Fairless]

She is fabulous, though, as always.

[Lauren Garrone]

Okay, anything else to say about Conclave?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, I think we should note that all of the performances were great. John Lithgow was great.

[Lauren Garrone]

Honestly, this is a murderer's row of straight male character actors who can play gay. We got Stanley Tucci, we got John Lithgow, we've got Ray Fines.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I know.

[Lauren Garrone]

And none of them are gay. Like, this is such an alternate reality of the Catholic Church where it's like. Like, do you know how much they don't molest little boys? They're impregnating women in this film.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So crazy. Yeah. What a twist.

[Lauren Garrone]

Now that you've seen Conclave, we've seen Amelia Perez. I don't know if you've seen this online discourse that the plot of Conclave is sort of happening during award season because each potential award season frontrunner has had its own scandal.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So true.

[Lauren Garrone]

So you had Anora with the whole. No. Intimacy coordinator. The Brutalist with the AI controversies. Okay.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But I think that one is very.

[Lauren Garrone]

Overblown, having seen the Brutalist, and we didn't mention this last week when we were talking about the film, but I think initially the story makes it sound like AI Just completely did Felicity Jones and Adrian Brody's Hungarian accent, but it was to tweak it, to make it. It seem like they're native Hungarian. And then the other side of the controversy is in the epilogue, there are architectural sketches that are supposed to be done by Laszlo Toth over the years that I guess someone put into Mid Journey to generate ideas for them. And then the production designer came over and drew the actual sketches.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Who cares about that? It's not like these fictional buildings are nominated for some, like, prestigious architectural prize or something.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, based on this theory, I guess the thought is that the producers behind Conclave are just spreading all of these rumors so Conclave can win Best Picture.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That's crazy. I also don't think that Nora deserved the backlash that it got. Obviously, I think that intimacy coordinators are important.

[Lauren Garrone]

But as much as I love this theory, I don't think the producers of Conclave have engineered whatever is going on with Amelia Perez.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Oh, you couldn't. You couldn't.

[Lauren Garrone]

So when we recorded last week, I had only seen one of the problematic tweets by Sofia Carla Gascon.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Same. I had no idea.

[Lauren Garrone]

And then in the hours after we recorded, a trove of them were discovered. And her output was so bad that she just deleted Twitter. She then put out a written statement, Ciao, let me take you through. It's been a week. She then put out a written statement saying, in part, I cannot repair my past acts. I can only say that now I'm not the same person I was 10 or 20 years ago.

[Chelsea Fairless]

10 or 20?

[Lauren Garrone]

Yes. This caused a truly savage community note on Twitter that read, unfortunately, these statements were not made 10 or 20 years ago, but some were made as late as two years ago.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Imagine saying, I'm not the same person as I was two years ago.

[Lauren Garrone]

So one of the tweets was allegedly that she called her co star Selena Gomez a rad. But many years ago before she acted with her. But then Sofia Carla Gascon was like, actually, that tweet was fake. Who's to say? Doesn't matter. That written statement went so poorly that she then booked herself an hour long interview on CNN in Espanol, which was not cleared by Netflix or seemingly anyone affiliated with Emilia Perez, where she was like, I did nothing wrong and I'm not a racist. And I believe at one point said, if I were a racist, then would I be acting with Zoe Saldana?

[Chelsea Fairless]

She hates everyone is my takeaway from reading a bunch of her old tweets.

[Lauren Garrone]

I saw a tweet that was like, wow, Sophia Carla Gascon really is Caitlyn Jenner's tether.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And because of all of this, she is no longer attending many of the award shows up until the Oscars. She is still attending the Oscars, but like, will Saint Laurent even dress her?

[Lauren Garrone]

She can attend these award shows and press events. But someone leaked to Variety that Netflix has ceased all communications with with car. Oh, I guess I keep calling her Sophia Carla Gascon. Yeah, sorry, guys. She's Carla Sophia Gascon. But they wanted Variety to know that they will no longer be covering her expenses related to travel or her styling budget, which is a big deal during award season. So it's like, she can come to these events. She's just gonna have to pay her own way there.

[Chelsea Fairless]

They've also taken her off of the like for your consideration stuff.

[Lauren Garrone]

And then, as if that were not bad enough, we didn't discuss this last week when we were discussing the Oscar nominees. But One of the changes to the format was instead of having two presenters present the nominees, they were going to go back to what's called the Fab Five form, where five previous winners or just actors come out during the best Actor, Actress, Supporting categories and they talk about one nominee. And I've never loved this format. I think it takes a ton of time. It seems like a logistical and production nightmare. But in light of everything going on with Carla Sophia Gascon, they have now scrubbed that and are going back to just presenters presenting well for the acting.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Categories because they already announced that this was happening. So their only choice is to use this format for something else. I don't know if they're doing it for director. We have no idea. It could be any category really. But I love the fact that this bitch is so problematic that they had to like completely change the Oscars. They probably had to disinvite all of the Oscar winning actors that were scheduled to appear.

[Lauren Garrone]

The thought would be that they couldn't find anyone to say anything nice about her. I don't understand. They had a winning format that they flip the gender of the past winner and that's who presents. Right. Whomever won Best Actor presents Best Actress the following year and so on and so on.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right. I continue to be fascinated with the various scandals around Emilia Perez and I do think that Carla Sophia Gascon being so problematic is what will cement this film as the Rocky Horror esque midnight movie that it has always been.

[Lauren Garrone]

That's what we keep maintaining.

[Chelsea Fairless]

There is no question in my mind that that is where this is headed.

[Lauren Garrone]

I want to cap off Emilia Perez's no good, very bad week with these truly wild quotes from the Amelia Perez, director and engineer of our nightmares, Jacques Odillard, because he is responsible for this entire mess. But he did an interview with Deadline where he was asked, have you spoken to her? And he said, I haven't spoken to her and I don't want to. She is in a self destructive approach that I cannot interfere with and I really don't understand why she's continuing. Why is she harming herself?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, well, I don't think he's responsible for her tweets or this sort of facet of the Emilia Perez scandal.

[Lauren Garrone]

No, but he cast her.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, but is he supposed to personally, like, look through all of her tweets? Someone should. Someone absolutely should. Especially someone at Netflix, given how much money they've thrown behind this film during awards season. It seems crazy to me that it was so easy to unearth these tweets because they are still up. And if you had just searched Muslim in her tweet history, you would have gotten 10,000 of the most horrific tweets you've ever seen.

[Lauren Garrone]

My point with Emilia Perez, and I guess why we are a little less shocked at how bad it is, is because if you understand that this man, this Frenchman, who doesn't speak the native language that he made a film in, loves opera. This film makes a lot of sense. And he continues this point in his Deadline interview. He says, what shocked me is that people haven't seen the film properly or they haven't seen it at all, or they're acting in bad faith. The representation of the cartels in the film is thematic. Opera has psychological limitations. It seems I'm being attacked in the court of realism. Well, I've never claimed that I wanted to make a realistic work. If I wanted to make a work that was particularly documented, then I would do a documentary. But then there would be no singing and dancing. Wouldn't that be awful, Chelsea? No singing and dancing in Amelia Perez.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I agree that it's his right to make a film that isn't realistic.

[Lauren Garrone]

That's gonna be my go to response with any criticism, which is like, oh, no, no, I'm sorry, you're attacking me in the court of realism. I simply do not exist there.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, I can't wait to see what happens between now and the Oscars.

[Lauren Garrone]

Where is she going to be sad? None of her co stars want to be sat with her. And here's the thing that sucks is the blowback is going to be on Selena Gomez and Zoe Saldana, especially if Carla Sofia Gascon isn't invited to these events, because that's all they're going to be asked on the red carpet. So therefore their awards journey is going to be hijacked because of someone else's scandal.

[Chelsea Fairless]

For sure. But I still think that Zoe Saldana will probably win, if not Isabella Rossellini.

[Lauren Garrone]

And I think that it bears mentioning, because I've seen this take online, that as horrific as Carla Sofia Gascon's tweets are, the way that she has been basically exiled from Hollywood, especially during an award season run, would never happen to a white man. Like Mel Gibson just released a film in major theaters two weeks ago.

[Chelsea Fairless]

No, that's true. But I do think that this speaks to the fact that there are horrible people in every marginalized community.

[Lauren Garrone]

I cannot believe that this film has yielded this amount of discourse. Just think about how much we've talked about this movie on our podcast, let alone other podcasts. TV shows online. This movie doesn't deserve this much attention.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But that's what makes it all kind of iconic. I am, like, at the edge of my seat at this point, wanting to know what happens next. This is its own Greek tragedy. If I'm Carla Sophia Gascon, if I'm truly this bitch, if I'm really that problematic, I don't think it benefits her to apologize or hide. I think she should show up in a giant gown and do her.

[Lauren Garrone]

Well, the damage is already done. Beyond the very problematic tweets, her press tour, which was not sanctioned by any official capacity, let alone a publicist, didn't help things. Because in those moments, as we've spoken about with Cancel Culture, you have to be like, yeah, I'm a fucking idiot. Not like, well, I'm not who I was 20 years ago. It's like that Selena Gomez tweet was two years ago. You were. You could have been at the table read with her for Amelia Perez when you tweeted that.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. Also, we know that George Floyd wasn't 20 years ago, girl.

[Lauren Garrone]

But hey, it's given us a very thrilling conclave esque award season green book could never truly. All right, that does it for us.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That does it. Good seeing you, Lauren, as always.

[Lauren Garrone]

Oh, thank you, Chelsea. You never say that to me.

[Chelsea Fairless]

What do you mean?

[Lauren Garrone]

I don't. So it's. It's good to be reminded. It's great seeing you as well.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, we will be doing this again next week.

[Lauren Garrone]

That's right. We are finally getting to the much teased about Valentine's Day hotline episode. Can't wait to address your calls. Yes.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And we hope that all of you have a non traumatic Valentine's Day, if that's possible.

[Lauren Garrone]

Don't watch Emilia Perez. That's all I have to say. All right, guys, bye.