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Chelsea Fairless
I spent $40,000 on shoes.
Lauren Garone
What's the matter, Morty?
Caller
Great gowns. Beautiful gowns.
Chelsea Fairless
Fashion has changed.
Lauren Garone
No, it hasn't. Hi, I'm Lauren Garone.
Chelsea Fairless
And I'm Chelsea Fairless.
Lauren Garone
And welcome back to another episode of the Every Outfit podcast. Today we are doing a hotline episode, and I gotta say, I think these are some of the best hotline calls we've ever done.
Chelsea Fairless
Do you?
Lauren Garone
I think so.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. I think people have been coming through recently, I have to say.
Lauren Garone
So thank you, guys. Let's jump right into it.
Caller
Hi, Lauren and Chelsea. As a cheese professional who's worked in specialty cheese for a decade, I never thought there would be an opportunity for me to bring something cheese related to this podcast. But I have to tell you, I just got an email from Murray's in New York, and they have a Sarah Jessica Parker collab. What? This is crazy. Mind blown. Maybe you guys already knew about it because you got the inside scoop, but in the cheese world, and as someone who loves Sex and City, this is very exciting. Very curious to see her cheese picks. Then I realized it has to do with her wine that she's launching. All makes sense. Anyway, big moment for cheese. Big moment for Sarah Jessica Parker fans. Okay, bye.
Chelsea Fairless
I wish I could say as a cheese professional, I also love that she's.
Lauren Garone
Like, well, clearly you guys already know about this. Nope.
Chelsea Fairless
Did not know about this. I have not received a box of Sarah Jessica Parker cheese. Unfortunately, I wish to God that I had. And now it's sold out. But don't worry, it's going to be restocking soon.
Lauren Garone
Oh, thank God.
Chelsea Fairless
So this is what is in the Sarah Jessica Parker cheese box. We got a Gouda. We got a Tallaggio. Actually, let's just play Sarah Jessica Parker's thoughts on that.
Caller
This is Taleggio.
Lauren Garone
Okay.
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, Taleggio.
Lauren Garone
You love Taleggio?
Caller
Yes, it's great. You, Sarah Jessica, you know so much about cheese.
Chelsea Fairless
I love Taleggio.
Lauren Garone
I like to think I know a lot about Sarah Jessica Parker. Did not know her feelings about Tallaggio.
Chelsea Fairless
Had no idea. We got a Manchego. We got some sea salt crackers, fruit preserves, and some pitted Greek olives.
Lauren Garone
I love this note from SJP on the Murray's Cheese website about this collaboration. The In Vivo X SJP and Murry's creative work is a wonderful expression of how wine and cheese can come together.
Chelsea Fairless
But the wine is not in the gift box.
Lauren Garone
Well, no, you have to go to In Vivo. Get the SJP wine collection. Go to Murray's Cheese Order the cheese box.
Chelsea Fairless
I guess Murray's just can't legally sell wine or something. It just seems like this should be consoled, consolidated. Also, I'm sorry, I would really like Sarah Jessica Parker's face on the packaging. Like, there's no branding that relates to Sarah Jessica Parker. Like, we need this sort of in just like that carnation wallpaper.
Lauren Garone
This is true. But to be fair, on her In Vivo X wine labels, it only says sjp. Her face is not on there.
Chelsea Fairless
Anyway, thank you to this fuckette, this iconic cheese professional, for bringing this to our attention.
Lauren Garone
Feel free to leave messages about what kind of cheeses we should be buying. I feel like, personally, Chell, I'm in a rut. I'm getting a Gouda. I'm getting a ricotta salada. I'm getting a Swiss. What should I be getting?
Chelsea Fairless
What was that second one?
Lauren Garone
Ricotta salada.
Chelsea Fairless
See, you're much more cheese savvy than I.
Lauren Garone
You know, the cheese that I've served you, that's white and not crispy. See, I don't have the language to describe cheese, alas. All right, next call.
Caller
Hey, fuckettes, it's Corey here in la. First time caller, I guess. I don't know. Longtime listener. Anyway, love you, bitches. So there's a new Margiela outlet store at the Capitan outlets. And I immediately thought of you girls because I bought my first pair of cabbies. They were half off, by the way. So I know there is, like, another caller about, like, you guys answered questions about, like, you know, tips for, you know, sourcing tabbies and Margiela. So I would definitely recommend going to the Margiela outlet store. It literally, like, just opened a few days ago. So half off tabbies, the ones I bought, like, whatever, they were just little slippers. Little, like saggy slippers I love. But yeah, definitely check that out. Anyway, love you, girls. Bye.
Chelsea Fairless
The way I gasped when I heard this call.
Lauren Garone
It feels like another press release. We should have received quite like the Murray's Cheese SGP collab.
Chelsea Fairless
I know. What the fuck?
Lauren Garone
We are just learning that there is a Margiela outlet within three hours of where we live. I love the Cabazon outlets.
Chelsea Fairless
We love Cabazon. You can go to the outlets, you can see those giant dinosaurs. It's delightful.
Lauren Garone
First thing we're doing in the new year when we get back from Australia, we are booking it to the desert.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
Lauren Garone
For those who've never been to the Cabazon outlets, the people who go there are still obsessed with Gucci. There is a Disneyland Space Mountain esque line, always for the Gucci store. I bet there is no line for the Margiela outlet.
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, there's like a negative line. It's the same with the Loewe outlet in the Marnie outlet. No lines ever there. Prada outlet. You might have to wait a few minutes. Nothing crazy. Same goes with Balenciaga. Now that Cabazon has a Margiela, that's literally the only store they were missing. They have everything else now. They have a Bottega Veneta outlet.
Lauren Garone
Also they have a La Cruset outlet. They have an Auntie Anne's pretzel.
Chelsea Fairless
They have like this little kiosk where you can buy fake designer Jibbitz for your Crocs. Also, for future reference, did you tell me this? Someone told me this, that a lot of people go to the Cabazon outlets on Black Friday because of the deals in the sales. But actually most of the stores mark things down the week before Black Friday. So if you are looking for the ultimate deal on a pair of tabbies, it's about going the week before Black Friday.
Lauren Garone
I think I did because several years ago I spent Thanksgiving in Palm Springs and on the way in we stopped at Cabazon. So it was like the Tuesday before and they were like extra 30% off for black Friday. I was like, it's Tuesday. They're like, same thing. Love it.
Caller
Hi ladies. I'm sure just like you and every woman in this country, we are reeling from the election and just doing all we can to maintain sanity and have a grasp of reality. And in doing so, I'm going through all my followers or who I'm following and unfollowing them if they themselves follow Donald Trump. And I just bring it to your attention. Warren, are you aware that Paul follows Donald Trump? And I'm sure it's not political based at all. So when I went to go unfollow him like my finger like wavered on unfollowing him. But why the fuck is he following Donald Trump anyways? Love the pod. Love you guys. No one should follow Donald Trump.
Chelsea Fairless
Wow, time to get divorced.
Lauren Garone
I did not know that Paul followed Donald Trump and I don't really love this trope that women need to answer for their husband's embarrassing actions. So I've decided I'm not going to answer for this and instead I brought one Paul Glover onto the podcast to answer this question because I really have no answer.
Chelsea Fairless
Paul, as far as I heard, that question was directed towards you. Lauren, did you know that I indeed followed Donald Trump on Instagram.
Lauren Garone
I did not. And I have to say, this has opened up a can of worms. I previously have never looked at Donald Trump's Instagram and I gotta say, terrible Instagram.
Chelsea Fairless
I know. There's so many, like, designed graphics on his Instagram. It doesn't feel organic. I feel like we don't really get a sense of his personality, which comes through so strongly on Twitter.
Lauren Garone
Of course, because of this, I looked at the other people that I follow who I'm friends with who happen to follow Donald Trump. Most of them are journalists. A few, I will say, are people from my high school who I don't talk to that I was like, this makes sense. And then there's my husband.
Chelsea Fairless
Why do you follow him? Because his social media presence is so bad. Ever since they kicked my boy off of Twitter, I mean, X the everything site, it's been downhill for him. But he came back on top, didn't he? Oh, my God, I hate you.
Lauren Garone
We're about to get so many more one star reviews. We should explain. You are a Bernie bro. Your heart has never recovered from 2016, 2020. You are not a Trump supporter. We should really clarify this.
Chelsea Fairless
I kind of feel like it has to go like real old school Twitter, like retweets and follows and likes do not equal endorsement. Also, I found it so weird, like on Twitter how people got upset if you followed Donald Trump. But also a bunch of liberal people were like obsessed with like constantly quote, tweeting him, which I think is just as bad, if not worse.
Lauren Garone
Right?
Chelsea Fairless
His Instagram sucks though. It sucks. You need to unfollow. It's time.
Lauren Garone
Well, can we just dig into this call a little bit? This is someone who follows Paul, which we've discussed this before. You need to get better at Instagram. As some of the fuckettes DM'd multiple times. When you were revealed on the podcast, they were like, Paul needs photos of himself on his Instagram. You need to post more of your work. But Instagram is not your medium, really.
Chelsea Fairless
Social media is like smoking. If you get into it when you're a teenager and you just go full on, like it's a part of your personality now, it'll stick, but if you never really found validation in it, it's hard as an adult. Something that this caller said in the beginning was, we're all trying to maintain sanity. And then they described that in order to maintain sanity, they're going through everyone they follow, following.
Caller
Maybe don't do that.
Lauren Garone
I also love the Detail that she's like. I wavered unfollowing Paul. But it gave the impression that she did indeed unfollow you. I'm imagining the Wesley Snipes meme. Have you ever seen this where he's got a gun and he's crying?
Chelsea Fairless
We were rooting for you. We were all rooting for you. Thanks, Paul.
Lauren Garone
All right. Thank you, Paul.
Caller
Hi, ladies. I was thinking about the genre of glamorous women having nervous breakdowns, and I was wondering if Phantom Shred fits into that genre. It's not necessarily a glamorous woman, but it is a pretty bitchy man. Would love to talk. Bye.
Chelsea Fairless
I don't think it falls into the genre, but this call has made me reflect upon bitchy men in cinema.
Lauren Garone
I mean, you could make the point that a majority of films in the 90s were about bitchy men. Like, I think of Scent of a Woman as good as it Gets. American Beauty Fight Club. These are men behaving badly. But Mr. Woodcock in Phantom Thread is a sort of gay coded bitchiness. Like there's a camp factor.
Chelsea Fairless
I don't necessarily think he's gay. He's just a perfectionist. And usually being a perfectionist is associated with gay men and not straight men.
Lauren Garone
Oh, I don't think he's gay. I mean, he proves that in the film he's not gay. But the way that. The way that his character is and his bitchiness, I feel like would go in line with Nathan Lane in the Birdcage.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. I also think it's kind of more like Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. It's. Again, it's the perfectionist aspect of it. Same with. Did you ever see the menu?
Lauren Garone
Yes.
Chelsea Fairless
Like, that is a bitchy man.
Lauren Garone
Ralph Fiennes is the chef. Yes.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
Lauren Garone
Richard E. Grant in can youn Ever Forgive Me? Is he a bitchy man?
Chelsea Fairless
No.
Lauren Garone
Okay.
Chelsea Fairless
He's a sweet, kind hearted, aging alcoholic who spends too much time at Julius.
Lauren Garone
But I think this caller is correct. We do need more bitchy men movies.
Chelsea Fairless
There are some movies where it's like, they're not full on glamorous women having nervous breakdown movies, but there is someone within the film that falls into that category. And I think the biggest train wreck in Phantom Thread is that one couture client that's like a raging alcoholic.
Lauren Garone
But, yeah, she's a complete train wreck. Vicky Krabs gets the dress off of her and is like, you don't deserve to wear this.
Chelsea Fairless
Like, that's the glamorous women having nervous breakdowns. Moment of that film. But that's not really about Daniel Day Lewis.
Lauren Garone
I think you're right that Patrick Bateman falls into this kind of bitchy man category. Like, I think him ranting about Huey Lewis is the same as Daniel Day Lewis ranting about how he hates the word chic fully. Same vibe.
Chelsea Fairless
All right, moving on to an actual glamorous woman having nervous breakdowns. Film.
Caller
Hello, this is Camille. I know you get a million calls for movie recommendations and this is one more curious if you've seen the movie Birth with Nicole Kidman, it's the one where she's got the little pixie haircut. It came out in the early 2000s. It was kind of controversial at the time because basically the premise is that she falls in love with a 10 year old boy who says he's her dead husband reincarnated. It's pretty good. It's a beautiful movie. The cinematography is really nice. Lauren Bacall is in it. I think it ends weird, but I don't remember what the ending was. But it just seems like a movie that would be on your radar. Curious what you think. Have a good day. Bye.
Lauren Garone
I have not seen this movie since college.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, same. But I liked it when I saw it and I feel like it didn't get enough love. And obviously we love Jonathan Glazer.
Lauren Garone
I think we have a love of transgressive films and I don't think there's a more transgressive topic than is my dead spouse reincarnated in this child and should I be with them?
Chelsea Fairless
Although, as I remember, Nicole Kidman wasn't like really instigating this. It was the child that was like hitting on her.
Lauren Garone
He keeps showing up to places she's at. She's, by the way, fully engaged to Danny Houston as well. That's the other tension in this film.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. And I think that because this film is called Birth and Nicole Kidman has a Rosemary's Baby pixie cut. People expected it to be more like Rosemary's Baby, but it's more like the innocence from the 60s, the Deborah Kerr movie, which also has the this child is hitting on me aspect to it.
Lauren Garone
This ghost went into this child and.
Chelsea Fairless
Is now like trying to fuck. Yeah. I think we need to revisit Birth. I think it's time. Especially after watching Zone of Interest, I kind of want to revisit all of his older movies.
Lauren Garone
Do we do a Birth Innocence double feature?
Chelsea Fairless
Maybe. There's also a terrifying Kate Bush song that was inspired by the Innocents called the Infant Kiss that I highly Recommend.
Lauren Garone
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Caller
Hi, this is Christine again. I just called. I meant to add, is that. Is the Cartier love bracelet? Like basic? Should I not be even thinking about that? Like, is that. That's not it. I don't know. This is not my area. I'm trying to learn. I see things, I see people with things and I'm like, is that, is that it? Like, I don't know. So I obviously know about the Elsa Paretti stuff. This is, I don't know. I. That might be too aspirational. So what's attainable aspirational? You know what I mean? Okay. I hope I'm making sense. Thank you. I love you guys. Thanks. Fine.
Lauren Garone
You've called the right place. This call does make sense.
Chelsea Fairless
What is your take on the Cartier love bracelet?
Lauren Garone
I always find it interesting when people call in and are like, I like this thing you don't like. Is that okay? Which is not exactly what she's saying, but.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, we don't know if she likes them or dislikes them.
Lauren Garone
She's thinking about acquiring a Cartier love bracelet. I personally don't care for it.
Chelsea Fairless
I don't love them, but it's not because of the way they look or the sentiment behind them, it's because they are so popular, and I associate them with basic girls. Although, on the other hand, I recognize that, like, that's not really fair. That's like hating Breakfast at Tiffany's because, like, basic girls have posters of Holly Golightly in their dorm room. You know, like, if you're gonna hate that movie, hate it because it's racist, not because it's popular.
Lauren Garone
It depends on the context. Because if Chloe 7 wore a Cartier love bracelet, we'd be like, that's cool.
Chelsea Fairless
Sure. I think we're just traumatized from seeing, like, Kylie Jenner with, like, 10 love bracelets. Also, I think that the love bracelet is uniquely triggering as a luxury item because it's saying two things, Right. It's about status. It's about economic status, but it's also saying, like, I'm taken. So if you're, like, broke and single, you're like, fuck these cunts and their love bangles.
Lauren Garone
Yeah. I also find it off putting because for $7,300 for a single bracelet, I just don't think it makes sense.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, if you wear it every day for your whole life, I guess that does make sense.
Lauren Garone
Oh, the cost per wear does go down. But that's the whole thing that I think grossed us out about it was it wasn't just the ubiquity. It became a thing to have multiple of them and wear them all together.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. And also, I recently learned that Cardier no longer will authenticate the love bangles because the fakes have gotten so good that they have no way of distinguishing them. So for that reason, it doesn't hold its value the way that something else would because it can't be authenticated, which is crazy.
Lauren Garone
Yeah. I would say to this, if you love the Cartier love bracelet, you got a spare $7,300, go for it. But the other part of this question that I find interesting is the question of what is an affordable luxury piece of jewelry? And I feel like that in and of itself is an oxymoron, because the name Tiffany Cartier, that is what you're paying for. And it's sold at a premium.
Chelsea Fairless
Right. Like, you could just buy, like, a simple silver or gold chain from any jeweler. It's hard to give recommendations here because jewelry is just so personal, especially if it's supposed to be everyday jewelry.
Lauren Garone
And our love of Elsa Peretti is because of the person Elsa Peretti is. My mom had a bone cuff when I was little that she gifted me, and so that has a Special meaning. But the prices for the silver and gold bone cuffs are so crazy.
Chelsea Fairless
Gold, especially. But look on the RealReal. Yet again, I am doing unpaid spawn con for the RealReal, but you can get pretty much any Elsa Peretti piece on the RealReal short of like, something crazy like the scorpion necklace or something.
Lauren Garone
And they have also, in recent years, released there's a black carbon version of the bone cuff at the New York flagship location. They have a white version of it, and Those are sub $1,000. But yeah, everything else is just crazy.
Chelsea Fairless
Moving on.
Caller
Hey, this is Adriana. Virginia. My. You guys just talked about Pathological Liars in your last episode, and I just wanted to wonder if you guys ever talked about Hilaria Baldwin. I have been stalking the subreddit that flames her for some time, and it's just kind of crazy how much effort she's put into being a Spaniard. So I don't know if you guys talked about her, but can I hear your thoughts? Slash, if you also have an obsession with, you know, watch two videos of her forgetting how to say cucumber in English. Bye.
Chelsea Fairless
I think that you in particular are obsessed with Illyria.
Lauren Garone
I don't know if I am particularly obsessed. What I will say is that I'm a few degrees away from Eladia Baldwin because one of my very good friends befriended her at the beginning of her relationship with Alec Baldwin. My friend worked at a yoga studio where Hilaria was a yoga instructor. They became very close friends. I remember when I was living in New York, I went to a party and I sat next to this girl, and she was like, oh, my boyfriend just bought us an apartment, and we were all in our early 20s. So I'm like, okay, it's some, like, biz, bro. And they moved into a place in the financial district. And she shows me her phone, and it's like a Douglas ELLIMAN Listing for $9 million. And I'm like, oh, you're the one that's dating Alec Baldwin. My friend went to their wedding. And then I got to watch my friend become disillusioned that she had spent years being friends with a pathological liar. Her accent never struck me as odd. I never even pondered, like, she making all of this up, because why would I?
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, well, also a good friend of ours went to high school with her, and she didn't have the accent then. So everyone that went to school with her is like, what the fuck?
Lauren Garone
What's also fascinating, that goes in line with our obsession with Pathological Liars of they always need to up the ante. Because if she was just Alec Baldwin's wife, who is a yoga instructor who shows up on the red carpet with him and occasionally does the People magazine editorial with their ever increasing brood, we wouldn't know about this. But it's because she wanted a media career and wanted to do cooking segments on the Today show and be a fashion correspondent for Extra. This was found out.
Chelsea Fairless
But are we just being bitches? Shouldn't we just let this woman culturally appropriate or whatever? I don't know. I think we need to ask a Spanish person how they feel about this.
Lauren Garone
I also think it's a testament to the fact that you can only cancel people who allow themselves to be canceled. Because all of this stuff came out about her and she basically was like, I don't care. And we all moved on.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, that's a pretty cool response.
Lauren Garone
Her husband did murder someone, so that sort of shifted the narrative for a while.
Chelsea Fairless
I mean, it definitely was manslaughter.
Lauren Garone
Sorry. He accidentally killed someone. So, yeah, that's our opinion about Hilaria Baldwin.
Caller
Hi, longtime listener, first time caller. I was listening to the latest episode of My Drive Home and I had what I think is a great idea for a Patreon episode because these are probably paywall thoughts. But you know how you guys did the episode that was like a full breakdown of the Big and Carrie affair. You should do a breakdown of the feud between SJP and Kim Cattrall. Like all the tea and the rumors of everything that happened while they were on set together when they did, you know, seemingly get along up till present day. Now the tea would be amazing and I'd love your guys takes on whose side we're on and all that. Thanks. Love you guys.
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, I think we actually should do this.
Lauren Garone
This is a great idea. And frankly, we've done the bulk of the work already because when we were touring our book, we should all be Mirandas. You designed this amazing infographic that was like an US Weekly infographic on steroids that charted the feud, to be fair, up until 2019. And oh my God, has so much happened in the last five years?
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, there was years where nothing happened. But then. And just like that came out.
Lauren Garone
I think we ended with the Piers Morgan stuff where the comments about her brother passing away.
Chelsea Fairless
We actually don't take sides in this situation. It's such a complicated situation. And we find that people, like, are either like, very pro Kim, very pro Sarah Jessica Parker, and there's kind of like reliable people on both sides of that debate. Feels like, our lesbian moms got divorced and now we have to be like, which one was right? It's like, no, the whole situation is wrong. It sucks, it's sad. And we're all caught in the middle.
Lauren Garone
And we'll get into this on our future VIP episode.
Chelsea Fairless
Exactly. Although I do want to say the Kim Cattrall Pierce Morgan interview came up in my, like, YouTube algorithm the other day, and I watched it and I forgot how intense it actually is.
Lauren Garone
Well, did you see that recent clip where Kim Cattrall, for whatever reason, she's doing an interview and someone asks about her funeral and preparations and is there anyone that she doesn't want at her funeral? And she's like, oh, yeah, there are people who are not allowed at my funeral.
Chelsea Fairless
They know who they are.
Lauren Garone
It was like, oh.
Chelsea Fairless
And it was especially crazy because the woman interviewing her was like, oh, well, everyone knows who you're talking about. And she didn't correct the woman.
Lauren Garone
But it's safe to say that the reason their relationship is so fucked begins at the very beginning with the fact that Kim Cattrall believed that she was the star of Sex and the City.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, post Sex and the City coming out, like, I don't think she felt that way when they were filming. It's more like she was obviously a fan favorite.
Lauren Garone
But didn't we do some research where it's like, even when they signed her on, she was like, I need to be co build with Sarah Jessica Parker. I want a producing credit. I'm the movie star coming to this TV show. So, like, they were always managing that expectation that she had that was never going to be fulfilled.
Chelsea Fairless
Right. Anyway, stay tuned for more kids, Lauren and Chelsea.
Caller
If you don't watch VOX looks and record it, record a review immediately. I'm going to freak out. I'm going to have my own beautiful woman nervous breakdown. You will love this movie so much. I'm gonna go rewatch it to make sure. But as soon as you said that, I was beside myself. Okay. Thank you for everything you do. I call this outline way too much. Bye.
Lauren Garone
I felt like that fuckette was standing over me as I was watching voxelux on tubi with a. With a gun.
Chelsea Fairless
Look, I always wanted to watch VOX Lux. I never did, and I'm so glad I finally did.
Lauren Garone
We love the who weekly podcast, but because of our love for them, we took their word that Vox Lux was a terrible movie and we didn't watch it for years.
Chelsea Fairless
And I'm not saying that it's not terrible, but I am saying that it's also good. And it's hard to explain why that is.
Lauren Garone
It's our kind of good.
Chelsea Fairless
I think if you're someone that liked the idol and liked tar, you should consider watching VOX Lux. And I'm actually upset that I didn't watch Vox Lux before watching those things.
Lauren Garone
Yes. In the canon of parallel campy media portrayals of the last eight years, Vox Lux is up there and a pillar of that kind of media.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. It's also just a deeply bizarre film with the darkest sense of humor. And I think the thing with VOX Lux is it starts with a very upsetting school shooting scene that is quite disturbing because of how disturbing it is. You don't realize that you're watching a comedy.
Lauren Garone
It's our kind of comedy.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
Lauren Garone
The thing that surprised me about VOX Lux, or I guess my expectation for the movie is it is a split performance of young Nie Portman and N. Portman in the present. Cuz the first hour of the film is the younger version of Nalie Portman. You witness the school shooting and then you witness the aftermath where she inadvertently becomes a pop star.
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, I'm just gonna say it. I might cast the young Natalie Portman as the young Lauren Garrone.
Lauren Garone
Ooh. Okay.
Chelsea Fairless
Like when she was singing her big number at the memorial, I was like, Lauren. The thing I didn't understand about VOX Lux is because I've always known that Sia wrote the music, I assumed that Celeste, the star of VOX Lux, was supposed to be a good musician.
Lauren Garone
Right.
Chelsea Fairless
But the whole gag of the movie is that she's awful. She's awful as a teenager, she's awful as an adult. And it's really more of a commentary about celebrity culture and how low our standards have become. Also our obsession with trauma as a culture and the fact that people now can get social capital from their trauma. And I think it's a smart film in that regard for Celeste, being a.
Lauren Garone
Pop star probably fucked her up more than being witness to a school shooting.
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, for sure.
Lauren Garone
But my only gripe with the film and please don't kill me fuck it is I just don't believe that if Celeste became a pop star as a teenager, she would have that thick of a Staten island accent as an adult.
Chelsea Fairless
This is Natalie Portman's most insane performance. My jaw was on the floor. I was fucking shocked. It was a level of camp that I wasn't prepared for. And again, the musical sequence, it's painful, but it's not an accident. It's not like we're Supposed to think that she's good.
Lauren Garone
There's also something towards the end in that performance sequence where I started to think it was going to become a psychological thriller just because it visually dips a little bit into Black Swan.
Chelsea Fairless
But I also think it's, like, fascinating because this is an anti hero, right? The young Celeste sucks, the old Celeste sucks. But at no point are we even, like, rooting for her to be a successful musician. Because I feel like usually with an anti hero, we're kind of like, yeah, they're flawed, but we are rooting for them on some level with her. We're just kind of like, how? Why is this happening, Jane? It's funny that there is a whole film about a character that is so unlikable when there is not one B plot.
Lauren Garone
I also think what bumps people probably about this film is it's structurally very bizarre. You are seeing for the first hour a year in her life, and then the next hour is just a half of a day in her life where she experiences all of the emotions, including a full mental breakdown.
Chelsea Fairless
Also, Willem Dafoe is the narrator.
Lauren Garone
Need more of that?
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, I was watching it and I was arguing with Tat because she was like, no, I think this movie is serious. I think that we are supposed to think that Celeste is good. And I'm like, no, I don't think that's true. And that especially became evident to me when Willem Dafoe, the narrator, starts talking about her traffic altercation, the one that blinds her. The one where it's like she basically loses all of her money because she get sued.
Lauren Garone
Is that the one that Christopher Abbott is pressing her on?
Chelsea Fairless
I love how we both watch this movie. Neither of us understand it.
Lauren Garone
We both watched it yesterday, too. It's not a convoluted plot either.
Chelsea Fairless
Yes. But a lot of information is imparted to us by Willem Dafoe during these very, like, tight narrated sequences that propel the plot forward. Also, we didn't think it could get more depressing after the terrifying school shooting. Then 911 happens.
Lauren Garone
Maybe one of the best cinematic portrayals of 911 in a recent film.
Chelsea Fairless
But I feel like we should acknowledge that Vox Lux came up to begin with because we were talking about Brady Corbett, the director.
Lauren Garone
Yes.
Chelsea Fairless
Now I might be his biggest fan.
Lauren Garone
Well, I definitely can't wait for the Brutalist to come out.
Chelsea Fairless
That said, this movie definitely is not for everyone. I think you have to be demented to enjoy it, which is why Lauren and I like it. But I think for most people watching this movie would Be a deeply unpleasant, if not distressing experience.
Lauren Garone
So to the fuckette who heard that we like piano teacher and sight unseen showed it to her boyfriend. Do not show him this movie for a date night.
Chelsea Fairless
No.
Caller
Hi, Lauren and Chelsea, this is Jasper. I'm a big fan of the pod. So here's the deal. I'm going to New York in December with my girlfriend and we want to dress nice because we're going to like museums and stuff, maybe the opera. Problem is I am. I'm a fashion illiterate white boy from Minnesota. My wardrobe is from I is from rei. So I want a few good pieces that'll last a while that I can wear while, you know, wandering around New York. And I want to compliment what she's wearing too. Let's see, she's a Miranda. Carrie Rising. I'm a Steve Ayden mix. That's kind of the vibe we're going for. So if you've got any suggestions for stuff I can wear. Yeah, help me. I spear. Thanks. Bye.
Lauren Garone
Even though I'm beginning divorce proceedings, I thought who better to bring on to answer this question than my own Steve Ayden hybrid with hairy tendencies? Mr. Paul Glover to help us answer this question. Welcome back, Paul.
Chelsea Fairless
It's great to be back even though, you know, I think the divorce lawyer is on his way. Okay, so I wish I knew what this fuck it looks like because I feel like that would strongly inform my advice. But what are we thinking? He needs a nice pair of black pants. He needs a suit if he's going to the opera. Let's be real, there could be some standing in line outside the opera. That is gonna be pretty fucking cold.
Lauren Garone
Usually New York in the colder months.
Chelsea Fairless
Is all about outerwear. It's a toss up for me between some heavy wool long length overcoat or a puffer and shoes. It could be slushy, it could be gross. One of my most comfortable I could wear all day New York Classics is Timberlands. Most importantly, just ditch the backpack. Don't bring a backpack. Just be warm and stay out of people's way. Look around, you see how fast people are walking and join them where they are. But I agree with you about the coat. It's like you have to either invest in a nice long black wool coat or a puffer jacket, one or the other.
Lauren Garone
I think a narrative of this call is that he wants to keep up and look nice with his girlfriend. And I agree with you. I think we're all in agreeance that investing it doesn't even have to be an investment. But getting a nice long wool coat will take you a long way. My shortcut, when I don't feel like getting dressed up, especially in the winter months, is I'll look like garbage underneath, but I'll wear a nice coat.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. He also just needs some simple crew neck sweaters. I think you just need to go to Uniqlo, see what Kas has. You know, although you can get a great vintage classic black overcoat if you wanted to go the sort of Etsy ebay route.
Lauren Garone
Very true. When we were mulling this over off mic with Tatiana, her advice was to get whatever Clark shoes you have. Oh, yeah.
Chelsea Fairless
Like a wallaby is a classic shoe.
Caller
Yeah, Wallaby.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
Lauren Garone
And wear a suit, wear a tie.
Caller
Don't skip the tie when you go to the opera.
Chelsea Fairless
Too many guys think they're like an extra from succession. They ditch the tie, wear a tie, it does everyone a favor. And just like that.
Lauren Garone
All right, see you at the lawyer's office. Yeah, yeah.
Caller
Hi, Lauren and Chelsea. So it's 1am in Los Angeles and I was dozing off, fall asleep, and then I suddenly bolted awake because I remembered this thing that has always bothered me, still bothers me. And maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. Is that when you watch the First Wives Club? For some reason, Sarah Jessica Parker is not credited in the opening credits yet. Everyone else is. Why is that? Why is she not in the opening credits? Have you noticed this? It's horrible. All right, love you guys. Bye.
Lauren Garone
Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We've never noticed this, guys. This fucket is correct. We went back and looked at the opening sequence. When I say everyone has a title credit in the opening sequence, I mean everyone. Elizabeth Berkley gets credit.
Chelsea Fairless
Bronson Pinchot has his own card. At least Elizabeth Berkeley. It's like someone else's name is also on her card. But Bronson Pinchot fully has his own card. So does Marsha Gay Harden, who is obviously iconic and incredible in the First Wives club. But Sarah Jessica Parker has a much bigger role than she does.
Lauren Garone
Yeah, somehow Sarah Jessica Parker is relegated with Timothy Oliphant to the end credits.
Chelsea Fairless
And it makes me think that, like, at that time, Sarah Jessica Parker had really bad reps and Bronson Pinchot had.
Lauren Garone
Really amazing reps. Sarah Jessica Parker did not have an insignificant movie career up until that point. I mean, she really popped in Steve Martin's LA story, so there's no reason why she shouldn't be in the opening credits, especially to your point, she has a bigger role than I would say, Elizabeth Berkley or Marcia Gay Harden.
Chelsea Fairless
I will say that this stuff does mean something in the industry. Who is first in the end credits? Who gets their own cards? Like, it's all negotiated. It's all highly considered. I can't imagine why Sarah Jessica Parker would not have that per that point.
Lauren Garone
I think it's very telling that Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, and Diane Keaton all share the same title card. The first title card.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. They're like, we're not even, like, letting their reps argue about which one is.
Lauren Garone
First and last all on the same card. Alphabetical order. No complaints. Next call.
Caller
Hi, Lauren and Chelsea. Long time. Long time. My name is Katherine, and horror of horrors, it's November, and so I'm thinking about going home for the holidays. I like Chelsea. I'm also from Humboldt county, and I find that when I go home, I end up dressing like, in Patagonia and sweatpants. Because if I wear even what is standard for me living in the Bay Area, people ask me why I'm so dressed up. I know you two aren't camping girlies, but you're very fabulous, and I'm wondering about your strategies for dressing like yourselves while you're in environments that are much less fabulous than you are. Especially curious about Chelsea's footwear in Humboldt county or just going to more rural or less fabulous places. I almost ended this call with Crunch, Crunch. Hope you guys are well. Bye.
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, can we hang out? You seem really cool.
Lauren Garone
What are the odds of another humble fuck F?
Chelsea Fairless
I'm sure they exist, but I very rarely heard from any of them. So I was quite excited by this call, and I think that they're right. It's definitely not about pulling a look up there. You have to acclimate to the fashions of the region, which is jeans and hoodies or. Yeah, like some sort of fleece Patagonia situation.
Lauren Garone
She asked about your footwear.
Chelsea Fairless
I do wear tabbies up there just because I don't really have many other boots that have, like, a heel that's of a reasonable height. Although I wear, like, the oldest pair that's, like, so beat up that I basically wouldn't wear in LA anymore because it's so. So I don't have to wor about them. And then I also wear, like, black UGG boots, like the ones that are cut to the ankle.
Lauren Garone
Does anyone make a comment about the tabbies?
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, and it's like, I actually don't even want to stand out, but I just, like, also want to wear, like, my comfortable shoes that I'm used to wearing.
Lauren Garone
Even though it is known that I grew up in Los Angeles, all of my family does not live here. And I am also a sartorial outlier when I go home and visit my family in New Jersey and Massachusetts. And, yeah, I think it's not about wearing your most unique piece. Right now. I'm wearing, as we record my Greg Araki Heaven collab with James Duvall on this sweater.
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, cute.
Lauren Garone
That's not something I would probably wear in front of other family members because even my dad has seen this sweater and he's like, is that Paul? Like, I just don't want to have to explain. I would rather dress down.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, I also think that, like, no one is more annoying to people in rural areas than the person that comes from a big city and looks insane and is, you know, giving a look that is not like, of the people, shall we say?
Lauren Garone
Of course that's why I'm surprised that you wore the tabby is because I wouldn't even venture to wear tabbies because I just don't even want to have a discussion about what is that.
Chelsea Fairless
But it's like, I literally don't have other boots. Lauren, think about it. The only other boots I have are, like, point toe, like, with high heels.
Lauren Garone
This is true.
Chelsea Fairless
So, I mean, yeah, I guess I need to just, like, buy, like, something normal.
Lauren Garone
You got to go on zappos.com, get some reg boots.
Chelsea Fairless
Anyway, fuck it. See you in humble. Let's hang it. God, what bars are even left? Toby and Jax. That'll be fun. Ooh, babe, if you saw this bar, you would not be making that noise.
Caller
Hey, Lauren and Chelsea. So I am very excited because for my birthday this year on November 21st, I'm going to Mr. Chow. And I've always wanted to go. I've never been. I've lived in LA since 2010 and still have never gone. This is a very epic moment for me and I know you guys love it. So I was wondering, what are your favorite things to order there? What are some must have. I think there's the noodles is, like, a must have thing that I plan on getting, but, like, drinks. What do you typically wear when you go? It's just me and two of my good gay friends. And, yeah, would love to know and share your thoughts. All right, love you guys. Bye.
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, this call is making me realize that I actually haven't been there in years. I think because it is so expensive, especially when alcohol is factored into it. But I love Mr. Chow.
Lauren Garone
Yeah. I mean, the last time I was there I got engaged. So I feel like we've given the impression that we go there often. Is definitely a special occasion restaurant for us. But the last time I was there, which was over a year ago, I seem to remember that there's now a prefix menu of sorts that allows you to order all of the greatest hits. And that's relatively economical, not factoring in alcoholic beverages.
Chelsea Fairless
But you are correct, the Mr. Chow noodles are quite famous, quite iconic. Green prawns, the duck, the walnut shrimp is fabulous. The water dumplings, the cocktail menu, I don't remember what I usually get, but it's very good. They're not around with that menu. Although I will say that they will get you drunk. They are not cheaping out. Those are stiff drinks.
Lauren Garone
Yeah, I think maybe I had a lychee martini last time or something like that.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, those are great.
Lauren Garone
For me, the joy of Mr. Chow, because it is a special occasion restaurant for us. You are surrounded by people that this is not their special occasion restaurant, this is their local haunt. Because when I was there last time, there was a man, an older gentleman sitting next to us by himself on a Friday night with a newspaper in front of him and he knew every waiter's name. And you just see all of these eccentric Beverly Hill locals. I think the other thing that makes the restaurant so special is it's one of the few places in LA where there are still career waiters. These are not people who might miss a shift because they need to audition. These are people that this is their career. They will take care of you. They will tell you what to order.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. Also I wouldn't worry about what you're wearing because it's not a sceney restaurant necessarily. It's full of old rich Republicans that live in Beverly Hills. So as long as you're like a man and not wearing open toed shoes and shorts, you're fine.
Lauren Garone
Yeah. I mean, you live in Los Angeles, there is an urge to dress up. But you are also aware that any restaurant you go to, people are going to be in jeans and a t shirt. And Mr. Chow is no different. Anyway, happy birthday.
Caller
Hi, girlies. I'm overdosed on Sex and the City so I'm doing a second Desperate Housewives rewatch. I did not have cable and I'm 24, so I like rediscovered. I didn't watch the show till a couple years ago. There are many parallels between guest stars and main Cast. So people that have been on both Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives. Victor Lang as a politician in both. Miranda's decorator who marries the guy after two weeks at the Plaza. She is one of Lynette's sisters on Desperate Housewives. Don't know the actress's name. Wallace Shawn plays Susan's editor. Susan's book editor. Kyle McLaughlin is married to Brie Vanderkamp, the redhead. And Heidi Klum guest stars in both. I didn't know if anyone else has noticed this. I don't know if you guys like Desperate Housewives, but I love you both. And longtime listener, longtime caller. Bye.
Lauren Garone
Yeah, I don't know why I never watched Desperate Housewives.
Chelsea Fairless
Wait, you never watched it at all?
Lauren Garone
Not really. So the show started, I looked in 2004. So it started the year that Sex and the City went off the air. And Somehow as a 16 year old, I could justify watching Sex and the City, but not Desperate Housewives.
Chelsea Fairless
Sex and the City skewed much younger than Desperate Housewives. Like, I don't think we're aspiring to have that Wisteria Lane lifestyle necessarily.
Lauren Garone
Yeah. And this is making me realize, I think as a teenager, into my early 20s, I had a. A big network television bias where it's like, I'm a cool kid. I watch Six Feet Under.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, no, I get it. Desperate Housewives. I'm sure I would appreciate it more. In retrospect, I definitely watched the first few seasons, maybe the first four. Once they killed Nicolette Sheridan, I lost interest. Although I think that the way they killed her was incredibly insane and campy. I don't know if you ever saw it.
Lauren Garone
No. But what I do know about the show was, of course, all of the infighting between all of the characters. Right, Sorry. You're reminding me that I did once see Nicolette Sheridan at a restaurant here in Los Angeles at the height of Desperate Housewives. It was a restaurant called Il Soleil, which was a real hot shit restaurant on Sunset Boulevard. And I think this was my first inkling that, like, maybe actresses were batshit. Is she kept running in and out of the restaurant and giggling like a teenager. And she would go outside and pretend she didn't want to be photographed and then run inside and just start giggling.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, a lot of actors are fully crazy, but I completely forgot that Kyle MacLachlan was on that show. Also, the unnamed actress who is Miranda's decorator is Carrie Preston.
Lauren Garone
Yes.
Chelsea Fairless
Carrie Bradshaw's married name. We love Carrie Preston.
Lauren Garone
See, I know Carrie Preston as the waitress on True Blood as a big True Blood person, because you're a pervert, as we know. Although Desperate Housewives feels like a network.
Chelsea Fairless
Pervert show, it wasn't really that perverted. It was just a full blown soap opera, essentially. It is bizarre, though, that Felicity Huffman was sort of like the Cynthia Nixon of this situation in the sense that I feel like she kind of got the best in, like, more prestigious roles.
Lauren Garone
Yes. Off of Desperate Housewives.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. Like, did you ever see that movie Trans America where she played a trans woman?
Lauren Garone
I knew you were going to bring this up. Only Felicity Huffman and Glenn Close have been able to do this.
Chelsea Fairless
She actually killed it. Like, I haven't watched that movie since it came out in the theater, but I thought it was cool at the time.
Lauren Garone
The fact that she hasn't been retroactively canceled for that performance, I think speaks to how good she was. Okay.
Chelsea Fairless
But at least they cast someone of the correct gender. Like, if you're not gonna cast a trans woman to play a trans woman, at least cast a CIS woman to play a trans woman, not a CIS man to play a trans woman.
Lauren Garone
I see what you're saying. You know, and she did her time. The only celebrity involved in the college admissions scandal.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. That really derailed her whole situation.
Lauren Garone
Ryan Murphy needs to put her in a show.
Chelsea Fairless
She's a great actor.
Lauren Garone
Did that answer the question about Desperate Housewives? I don't know.
Chelsea Fairless
I think so. I think we're good.
Caller
Hello, girls. Long time caller, long time listener. I've called a few times. I hope I'm not getting creepy with it, but I thought about Lauren because I was watching the Real Housewives of New York City. And in the last episode, Raquel Severmont talked about how when she was married to a man, what really clicked for her to realize she was a lesbian was watching the L words. So I was wondering what Chelsea thought about that and what maybe a specific episode could have been that could have been the sexual awakening. So I hope you girls look good and bye.
Chelsea Fairless
How many marriages has the L Word destroyed? You know how there was that New York Times article about all of the women that had moved to New York because of sex in the city?
Lauren Garone
Right.
Chelsea Fairless
Like, where is the article about all of the lesbians that have left their heterosexual marriages because they watched the L Word?
Lauren Garone
Well, I do love this split question where it's like, lauren, I know you love the Real Housewives, and I have to admit, I haven't even gotten up to this episode that he's referring to in New York because it's just. It's so impossible to watch this season of Real Housewives of New York. It's excruciating. I know you didn't ask my opinion about what maybe turned Raquel gay for the L Word, but I'm just gonna start with Jenny Schechter's entire storyline. What would the Rosetta Stone be for a straight woman married to a man? Why not Mia Kersher storyline that she moves to Los Angeles to be with her boyfriend and then is like lesbians. I think I might be one.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. See, I think it's more likely that it is the poolside strap on sex scene with Shane and Rosanna Arquette.
Lauren Garone
Is it fucked up that I know exactly what you're talking about? Because I've seen all of the original L Word.
Chelsea Fairless
No, it was memorable.
Lauren Garone
Who was the French woman that Jenny Schachter briefly has an affair with? Elodie Bouches.
Chelsea Fairless
Yes.
Lauren Garone
And they tie each other up.
Chelsea Fairless
Yes. That relationship was all about like some light bondage, some lingerie, some mid sex champagne guzzling. Very decadent. I love that.
Lauren Garone
I'm going to say when I saw that, it did make me question some things. So maybe it made Raquel also question some things.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. I wonder what really hit for Raquel. Actually, it's probably Jennifer Beals.
Lauren Garone
Well, yeah, she is an art girl.
Chelsea Fairless
Exactly. She probably related so much to Bette Porter and continues to relate to Bette Porter.
Lauren Garone
What was Bette's girlfriend's name?
Chelsea Fairless
Tina.
Lauren Garone
And Tina also was with a straight man and left that man to be with Jennifer Beals.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, it's a little more complicated than that. Tina had an affair with the man and then later went back to Beth.
Lauren Garone
Ah, okay.
Chelsea Fairless
I hope that answers your question.
Lauren Garone
Speaking of lesbian shit.
Caller
Hi. Chelsea and Lauren. We talk a lot. You talk a lot about lesbian movies. And I'm just curious if you've seen Desert Heart. It's one of my favorite movies. It was sort of my introduction into good movies and it changed my life a little bit. I've loved a sport debriefing of this on a podcast. Otherwise it just really would make me happy if you said, yeah, I liked it. And here's what I thought. I love you guys. You're my favorite podcast. Thanks.
Chelsea Fairless
Okay. I assume you haven't seen Desert Hearts.
Lauren Garone
I haven't. It has been on my watch list for a while because a lot of film critics that I respect always point to that film.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, I love Desert Hearts. I haven't seen it. God. I mean, since I was in my early 20s and before the L Word, like Desert Hearts was the lesbian awakening movie. It's an independent film directed by a woman, Donna Deitch. Came out in the 80s, and the film is set in the 50s. And it's about this woman that goes to, like, one of those divorce ranches, okay, in Nevada, to get, like, a quickie divorce. And she's, like, very uptight and conservative and she ends up having this romance with this lesbian who, I don't know, works at the ranch or something like that. But it's a landmark lesbian film because it was progressive in the sense that, like, it was a positive story. Like, no one killed themselves at the end of the movie or, like, went back to the man or whatever. So it was really groundbreaking. And I'm happy that it's gotten a criterion release and that people are still talking about it because it certainly always had, like, a lesbian fan base. Of course. Especially lesbians that came of age in the 80s.
Lauren Garone
All right, I gotta watch it, or else I can't be your friend anymore. All right, next call.
Caller
Hey, guys. I had a thought about Sex and the City and I didn't know really who else to call. In season six, Carrie is telling the.
Lauren Garone
Story about how she told Big to.
Caller
Fuck off to the girls at the coffee shop before she moves to Paris. And she's like. And I said, fuck. And, you know, I never say that. And it always really bumped me because in the first few seasons, like, she. Our girl, swore, she cursed.
Lauren Garone
She had sex.
Caller
She was a sex writer. And it made me believe that. Like, I think for some of us, and I include myself in this, I don't super consider season six, the movies and just like that to be canon. Like, for me, the show kind of ends at the episode where Carrie takes Big to Aiden's cabin. And I think at that point, the show just became something completely unrecognizable. Like, that's the jump the shark moment for me in the show. And I think for Sarah Jessica Parker, she's the exact opposite, because at that point, she became an executive producer of the show. So I think for her, the early seasons are not canon. And Sarah Jessica Parker's perception of Sex and the City is the opposite of my perception of Sex and the City. And I guess I was just wondering for you guys where you think the show switched over or if you think it did switch over or what you think about my cabin theory as the jump the shark moment in the show. Okay, love you guys. Bye.
Lauren Garone
I love this hot take.
Chelsea Fairless
I love the idea that she's like Sex in the City as we know it died in that cabin in Suffern on that fateful night.
Lauren Garone
Actually, Big died with Carrie in the car on the way there. And this is just a Jacob's Ladder scenario, the three of them talking in the cabin.
Chelsea Fairless
See, I appreciate this hot take for its specificity, although I don't fully agree because I think of Sex in the City. This series as having three distinct parts like season one and two, that's its own show. Season three and four also its own show. And then five and six. All of these seasons to me have very distinctly different vibes, perspectives and certainly the characters change a lot.
Lauren Garone
Yeah, season one and two are the gritty beginnings. As we've mentioned many times before. 3 and 4 is the apex. Season 5 and 6 are kind of the late stage capitalism era of the show.
Chelsea Fairless
Completely.
Lauren Garone
I will say to this fuckette, your perception that something feels different in season four is correct. I will say your reasoning is just a couple of degrees off because season three is actually the season that Sarah Jessica Parker becomes an executive producer. But what's worth noting is at the end of season three, Daron Star leaves and Daddy MPK takes over as showrunner. Darren Starr and Candace Bushnell had a vision that Carrie would always end up single. That was their vision of how to end the series. Michael Patrick King always wanted it to be a romance and knew that she was going to end up with Big. So with every season, kind of like with Lost, in the sense that they couldn't figure out how to get them off the island until they knew when the show was ending, they had to keep making up boyfriends, fiancees and getting her out of those relationships because they knew she was going to end up with Big. And I think that's why season four begins to feel different. I don't know if my Jump the Shark moment is the Cabin episode, but I will say that the season finale of season four, which was shot pre 911 but came out post 9 11, is really different. It is a marked change of where the series is going to go. It's a little more saccharine.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, also things do get a little more surreal in the later part of season four with a vogue idea. It's like we are firmly out of whatever was happening in season one and two. We are now in the Sex and the City version of Devil Wears Prada or whatever. Things have gotten more heightened, more glamorous. Certainly the clothing has become increasingly over the top. And yeah, I do feel like it feels like a different show, to me, it's all canon.
Lauren Garone
If the original actors and the original creators are involved in the show, whether it's the original series, the films, and then just like that, then it's all canon.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, I agree.
Lauren Garone
Do I agree with that? Canon? No, but I. But I am accepting it is canon and they can do what they want with it before.
Chelsea Fairless
And just like that, it was, I think, easier to look at the films. Like, maybe they're not canon, but once we got in, just like that, and just like that took us someplace completely different. I think we just had to accept that this is the progression and the journey of these characters. Characters.
Lauren Garone
Chell, you remember that podcast we discovered where it was the two, I think they were Aussie guys that watched Sex.
Chelsea Fairless
And the City two, like every week for six months or something crazy.
Lauren Garone
I think it was a year. Yeah.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, we need to listen to that. Many fuckettes have recommended it. It's called the worst idea of all time. Basically, these guys, they watch a movie that neither of them have ever seen that is universally acknowledged as a bad movie, and they watch it every week for a whole year. Year.
Lauren Garone
Well, my thought of an endurance test for us is we watch everything in reverse order. So we do, and just like that, into sex and City 2, into the first film, then we watch the original series. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Chelsea Fairless
That's crazy. God. I'm also sorry. I'm thinking back to those poor podcasters. They picked a movie that's like two and a half hours long.
Lauren Garone
We become intimately aware of how long the Sex and the City films are because we've recently rewatched Sex and the City one for a VIP episode. It's rough. All right, we have another Sex and the City related question.
Caller
Hi, my name is Zuleyka, Longtime listener. I've called a few times as well. I am sitting down. I just ate some shiitake mushrooms, and they were delicious. But every time I think of shiitake mushrooms or see them, I think about Bernie Turtle top, which is from the episode Turtle in the Hare. And why don't we talk about him more? And also, what did you think of him? Did you love him? Did you hate him? I personally had a soft spot for Bernie. I wonder what he's doing now.
Lauren Garone
It's funny. Whenever I hear shiitake mushrooms, I think about this girl in my middle school class who got written up for saying the word shit. And she did say shit. But her defense was, I didn't say shit. I said shiitake mushrooms.
Chelsea Fairless
So she's hilarious.
Lauren Garone
Yes, there's nothing better than gaslighting your middle school teacher and being like, I didn't curse.
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, but to answer this fuckettes question, Love the turtle. Love his helmet laying makeover. I love when a man gets a makeover in a film because I feel like it happens so rarely compared to women getting makeovers. It's kind of like Christopher Lloyd's makeover in Addams Family values.
Lauren Garone
Oh, yes, yes, yes. A lot of similarities between the churtle and the post madeover Uncle Fester.
Chelsea Fairless
Both very chic.
Lauren Garone
I don't think he was meant for Samantha. And what do I think happened to him? I think thanks to his Samantha Helmut laying makeover, he found and married. Because let's not forget this man is a rich finance bro. I'm sure he married a very lovely, hot woman. I mean, what usually happens to ugly rich men that live in New York.
Chelsea Fairless
Exactly. That's his destiny.
Lauren Garone
And then he divorced that one and married another one and divorced that one and, you know, married a third.
Chelsea Fairless
And now it's been so long that his helmet laying is back in fashion.
Lauren Garone
Good for him.
Caller
Hi, Lauren. Hi, Chelsea. This is Molly in Tucson, Arizona. Longtime listener and I've called a couple times. Never played them, but that's fine. But anyway, I am pretty funny, but that's not the point. Okay? I lived in just backstory. I lived in Los Angeles maybe four years in my very, very early 20s and haven't really spent a lot of time there since. And that was like 2005, 6, 7, 8. Anyway, I just saw this thing that came across my Instagram that was a Starbucks employee whose NDA had run up and so he could talk about these secret canals underneath Los Angeles, they prefaced it with, why don't you ever see a celebrity driving in traffic? If LA's got like, crazy traffic and they all live in like, Beverly Hills or whatever, Brentwood. So this guy was saying, and along the way, in these secret canals that like, pop up at like lax, Dodger Stadium, have Starbucks in them, where they like, don't even pay for them, since you both are, I don't know, in the know or could find out, because that seems insane that somebody back then had the money to create like, proper traffic tunnels underneath Los Angeles. Anyway, I would love to know if you've ever heard of that. And if so, is it true or is that like, ridiculous? And this guy's like, yeah, like Seinfeld. And I did see Larry David once in traffic on Sunset, but again, that was a long time ago. But if these are Fucking underground. These have to have been around forever. Anyway, love you guys. Let me know about secret tunnel.
Lauren Garone
I know what clip she's referring to. And in short, the answer is no. Do we know celebrities? Yes. Have they ever confirmed or denied this? No, I don't need them to. I've lived in Los Angeles my entire life and I understand the infrastructure of this city. In the video she's referring to this guy specifically says, why don't you ever see Will Smith? And I think he says, Kim Kardashian driving on the freeway because they have drivers.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, two.
Lauren Garone
Specifically, those are two celebrities who live in Calabasas, a former horse community that has only become a celebrity enclave in the last 15 to 20 years. The only way that these tunnels could work is that the tunnels that were originally built in the 20s, 30s, 40s, up until the 50s, before the car industry lobbied so that Los Angeles doesn't have good public transportation and made us all car dependent, that those have been refitted so that celebrities can drive through them. Those would not extend to Calabasas, where the majority of celebrities live now.
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, but then why is Jeffree Star saying that the tunnels are real?
Lauren Garone
Yes. Jeffree Star was recently on the canceled podcast and Tana Mongeau was like, what about these Hollywood tunnels? Did they exist, by the way? He very offhandedly is like, oh, yeah, of course, and I've been invited. He says something like, I don't want to do what I would have to do to be invited to do that.
Chelsea Fairless
What, like Illuminati shit? Not that I think that's real, but.
Lauren Garone
Tana refers to it as the Hollywood tunnels. Where do these tunnels exist? Are we saying that they were retrofitted from the defunct subway system that did exist in the 20s and 30s? There is tunnel infrastructure. Who's maintaining this? How do you get on and get off?
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, is our taxpayer money going to paving these tunnels?
Lauren Garone
And also the history of Los Angeles is. We basically started from downtown LA out.
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, I'm going to be a contrarian and choose to believe that the tunnels exist. I think that if the tunnels do exist, I feel like the point where you drive in should be that, like, place in the park that's by the Hollywood sign where they filmed all the Batman movies.
Lauren Garone
The Bronson Caves.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. I feel like the celebrities should be able to drive into the cave and then just disappear down into the tunnels.
Lauren Garone
I do think celebrities are using helicopters to get around more than is talked about. This caller is correct. Most celebrities live in Beverly Hills, Bel Air, Brentwood, Pacific Palisades. Like, I always think about the executive Kevin Feige, who runs Marvel. He lives in the Pacific Palisades. The Disney Marvel offices are in Burbank. Do I think that that man is spending nearly two hours each way driving from the Palisades to Burbank, or do I think he's going to the Santa Monica airport, getting on a helicopter and landing near Burbank?
Chelsea Fairless
I think he's going down in those tunnels.
Lauren Garone
Don't you think more people would be talking about this?
Chelsea Fairless
Well, also, it's like, why is Starbucks not charging celebrities?
Lauren Garone
Okay, yeah. We haven't even gotten to the craziest part of this.
Chelsea Fairless
I love that. This is like the Starbucks like speakeasy.
Lauren Garone
This is the epitome of podcast. Equipment needs to be more expensive. Who is this man? What do you mean your NDA ran up? Is this person now in a black site for revealing all of this? Why would Starbucks, a for profit company, give free Starbucks to celebrities who are then not photographed with said Starbucks? Out of the kindness of Starbucks heart?
Chelsea Fairless
Well, maybe they're more likely to get Starbucks when they're outside of the tunnels.
Lauren Garone
We know enough famous people to know. You know why you never see celebrities driving and or holding Starbucks? Because their fucking assistants got them the Starbucks and they're drinking it in their homes where they're taking their Zoom meetings.
Chelsea Fairless
I think we have to ask an A lister about this.
Lauren Garone
We've got no one.
Chelsea Fairless
We're about to assault the rock if we should happen to see him dining at Mr. Chow.
Lauren Garone
Okay, I'm sorry. It's one of two things. It is either retrofitted old tunnels from the early 20th century, which I don't think the rock and a giant Escalade could fit through, or somehow in the last. Your eyes just got so big right now when I'm saying this. Or in the last 30 years, someone, some celebrity, a group of celebrities have spent $20 billion building tunnels under the city of Los Angeles. Here's a. Here's another reason I know this is not true. Because anyone that knows famous people know they hate paying for shit. So who built this? Who's maintaining it?
Chelsea Fairless
I don't know, but I think you're raising some important questions.
Lauren Garone
What happens if a car accident happens? Is it two lanes of traffic?
Chelsea Fairless
I couldn't have imagined how strong your feelings would have been about this call.
Lauren Garone
Are you kidding me? I love Los Angeles. I am consumed with talking about driving and parking.
Chelsea Fairless
All right. Is that it?
Lauren Garone
No. We have one more call.
Caller
Hi, Kelsey and Lauren, OG listener here. I have two Questions. If you don't want to answer either, that's fine. If you want to answer one, cool. If you want to answer both, cool. Both of these have been on my line for a while now, and I saw that you had posted requests for hotline questions, so I figured I'd just take the dive. Number one, from your experience of both watching the show and both living in New York in your past, why did they choose to make Carrie from the Upper east side even though her apartment is on Perry Street? Because I don't know if you'll agree, but she seems like more of a West Village girly to me anyway. And I don't understand why the address change was made. Maybe you have insight. The second question is, if you were going to One for One, all of the girls for the girls in the movie now and then, which girls would be which? Love you both.
Lauren Garone
Thank you for giving us the option to answer the first question, the second question, or both questions. We're going to take you at your word and we're going to choose not to answer the first question because the answer is, I don't know. 1998. Carrie should probably live in SoHo, but whatever.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, Candace Bushnell, I believe, lived in Greenwich village in the 90s, but now she lives on the Upper east side, so that's her journey. And yes, I agree, it does feel like a bizarre choice. For sure. I was much more intrigued by the second question about now and Then, a film that I absolutely love.
Lauren Garone
I'm due for a re watch. I also love that film. That's one of those movies I watched so much as a kid that I just had to put it down in my early 20s. And I don't think I've watched it in 15 years.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, it's been at least a decade for me, which is why I haven't really thought about the parallels between the personality types in now and Then and Sex and the City. So Demi Moore is Carrie.
Lauren Garone
Interesting because her character is named Samantha.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, but her character is a writer. That chain smokes, folks.
Lauren Garone
So are you saying Melanie Griffith is teeny.
Chelsea Fairless
Melanie Griffith is Samantha.
Lauren Garone
That's what I was gonna say.
Chelsea Fairless
Melanie Griffith, slash. Young Thora Birch is Samantha. Obviously. Miranda is Rosie O'Donnell because they're lesbians.
Lauren Garone
And Chrissy, played by Rita Wilson, is of course, Charlotte. Yeah, because they're all seeing her because she just had a baby. Very Charlotte.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, it is very Charlotte. But yeah, I never really thought about that. But they are so Sex in the City coded, all of them. When? Now and Then was Originally written, Rosie ODonnell's character was a lesbian.
Lauren Garone
Yes.
Chelsea Fairless
And they had to reshoot scenes after the movie had already been shot because they were disturbed that Rosie ODonnell's character was both a lesbian and the person that, like, you know, delivered Rita Wilson's baby. Exactly. Like, as if it was, like, a sexual thing or something, which is so sick. But anyway, that's why Christina Ricci has the whole plot line where she's like, oh, I'm not really into Devon Sawa because she was Reve Field. To be a lesbian as an adult.
Lauren Garone
They had to do a no homo reshoot. Yeah.
Chelsea Fairless
They had to reshoot a scene where Rosie O'Donnell was basically like, and I have a boyfriend.
Lauren Garone
Well, the 30th anniversary is next year, so I hope that they're gonna do a lesbian cut, like, restore the lesbian cut of now. And.
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, my God, they absolutely should. That would be genius. Also, I just about cried when the cast of now and Then reunited at some event honoring Demi Moore.
Lauren Garone
I think it's like an award show celebrating Elle's Women in Media issue.
Chelsea Fairless
There's so many, like, awards about women. No, literally, it's like Women in Film.
Lauren Garone
Women in the Arts.
Chelsea Fairless
There's the Variety Women's Luncheon. There's this Elle thing.
Lauren Garone
Too many events, but, yes, that was beautiful. Sometimes the production of these things don't make sense. Sometimes they work out beautifully. Like reuniting the adult cast of now and Then to present Demi Moore an award.
Chelsea Fairless
So beautiful. No notes.
Lauren Garone
All right, that does it. Fuckettes. Now that you've heard this hotline episode, I think this is one of the best hotline episodes we've ever done.
Chelsea Fairless
Thank you to everyone that called in. Our hotline is open. What's the number again?
Lauren Garone
Okay, our Hotline number is 323-486-6773. And I'll reveal a little behind the scenes, the message that you hear. Because I often. I edit this out, but people are like, love that message Chelsea leaves. It is actually each of us reading off one sentence at a time. It's actually both of our voices on that outgoing hotline message I've always wanted to clarify.
Chelsea Fairless
Also, thanks to Paul for joining us on this episode.
Lauren Garone
Thank you, Paul. I'm so sad that we have to get a divorce now, but. All right, guys, see you next time.
Chelsea Fairless
Ciao.
Lauren Garone
Bye.
Every Outfit Podcast: "Yet Another Hotline Episode" Summary
Release Date: December 6, 2024
Hosts: Chelsea Fairless & Lauren Garroni
In this engaging installment of the Every Outfit podcast, hosts Chelsea Fairless and Lauren Garroni dive into an array of listener calls, tackling topics that range from high-fashion collaborations to intricate film analyses. Tapping into their deep-seated passion for fashion and pop culture, Chelsea and Lauren navigate each call with their signature blend of wit and insight, offering listeners a comprehensive exploration of contemporary trends and timeless dilemmas.
The episode kicks off with a fascinating call from a specialist in the cheese industry who shares exciting news about a collaboration between Sarah Jessica Parker (SJP) and Murray’s Cheese. The caller highlights the launch of SJP's wine collection and its integration with the cheese gift box, sparking a lively discussion between the hosts.
Notable Quotes:
Chelsea expresses enthusiasm for the collaboration, lamenting the initial unavailability of the cheese box and eagerly awaiting its restock. The hosts dissect the contents of the cheese box, appreciating the selection while humorously critiquing the absence of SJP’s branding on the packaging.
A spirited call introduces the topic of a new Margiela outlet store at the Cabazon Outlets. The caller recommends the store for its discounted tabbies (shoes), prompting Chelsea and Lauren to gush over the prospect of exploring the outlet, especially post their upcoming trip to Australia.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation delves into the practicality of outlet shopping, exchange rates of status symbols like heavily favored brands, and tips for securing the best deals, particularly during the pre-Black Friday sales.
A poignant call addresses the complexities of social media influence on personal relationships, particularly concerning followers of Donald Trump. The caller expresses turmoil over unfollowing individuals, including her husband, due to his association with the former president.
Notable Quotes:
Chelsea and Lauren grapple with the implications of social media affiliations, discussing the blurred lines between following and endorsing political figures. They candidly explore the impact of such affiliations on marital relationships, emphasizing the challenges of separating personal life from public personas.
Listener interactions pivot towards film critiques, particularly focusing on the portrayal of "bitchy" men in cinema. The hosts dissect characters from movies like Phantom Thread and The Menu, analyzing their complexities and how perfectionism often intersects with character traits stereotypically associated with non-straight men.
Notable Quotes:
The discussion extends to the nuances of character development, the societal implications of cinematic portrayals, and the necessity for more diverse and sophisticated male characters in film.
The podcast delves into lesser-discussed films like Birth and Vox Lux, examining their thematic depth and cultural significance. Camille's call about Birth opens a dialogue on its controversial premise and cinematic artistry, while the hosts share their polarized views on Vox Lux, highlighting its dark humor and critique of celebrity culture.
Notable Quotes:
Chelsea and Lauren provide thoughtful analyses, encouraging listeners to rewatch these films to fully grasp their intricate narratives and underlying messages about fame, obsession, and societal norms.
A listener’s inquiry about the Cartier Love Bracelet sparks a spirited debate on luxury fashion items and their social implications. The hosts evaluate the bracelet's design, cost, and cultural reception, questioning its status as an "affordable" luxury piece while reflecting on its association with being "basic."
Notable Quotes:
Chelsea and Lauren dissect the bracelet’s symbolism, its impact on personal style, and the challenges of balancing luxury with authenticity in fashion choices.
The hosts tackle the complexities surrounding Hilaria Baldwin, addressing the scrutiny she faces for her cultural appropriation and public persona. The conversation touches on the pressures of maintaining an authentic identity in the public eye and the broader implications of media representation.
Notable Quotes:
The dialogue emphasizes the fine line between cultural appreciation and appropriation, and the role of public figures in navigating these sensitive areas.
Listener feedback inspires potential future podcast content, including a deep dive into the feud between Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall. The hosts discuss plans to explore the intricacies of their relationship and the broader impact on Sex and the City fandom.
Notable Quotes:
Chelsea and Lauren express excitement about expanding their content offerings, promising a nuanced and balanced exploration of celebrity conflicts and their ripple effects on audiences.
Another engaging discussion centers on Vox Lux, where Chelsea and Lauren unravel their differing perspectives on the film’s narrative structure and thematic depth. They debate the film's portrayal of trauma, celebrity culture, and the protagonist's flawed journey.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts commend the film's ambitious storytelling while recognizing its polarizing nature, inviting listeners to engage with its unconventional approach to character development and social critique.
A practical call from a listener planning a New York trip prompts Chelsea and Lauren to dispense sartorial advice. They recommend investing in a quality wool coat or puffer jacket, emphasizing the importance of blending fashion with functionality to navigate the city's winter chill.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation highlights key wardrobe essentials for urban exploration, balancing style with practicality to ensure both hosts and listeners remain chic amid New York’s brisk winter weather.
As the episode concludes, Chelsea and Lauren reflect on the success of their hotline format, expressing gratitude to their listeners for their engaging and thought-provoking calls. They share a glimpse into their production process, revealing a collaborative effort in creating their distinct outgoing hotline message.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts reaffirm their commitment to listener interaction, encouraging more calls and feedback for future episodes, and teasing upcoming content that continues to blend fashion, culture, and personal narratives.
In "Yet Another Hotline Episode," Chelsea Fairless and Lauren Garroni expertly navigate a tapestry of listener interactions, offering insightful commentary on fashion trends, celebrity collaborations, complex film narratives, and the ever-evolving landscape of social media influence. Their dynamic dialogue and authentic engagement make this episode a standout, providing listeners with a rich and nuanced exploration of the intersections between style, culture, and personal identity.
For more episodes and to engage with the hosts, listeners can reach out via the hotline number provided.