THE VALLEY: Safari Planet!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Everything Iconic with Danny Pellegrino

Episode: THE VALLEY: Safari Planet!
Date: May 14, 2026
Host: Danny Pellegrino

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Episode Overview

This episode is a recap and deep dive into the latest episode of Bravo’s “The Valley”—notably the “Safari Planet” group outing. Danny Pellegrino focuses on the ongoing personal dramas between cast members, especially the problematic dynamic between Daniel and Nia, Lacey’s shifting alliances and quirky moments, the difficulties of parenthood and postpartum on reality TV, and an extended dissection of the “mean girl” label among Bravo casts. Danny’s trademark comedic, exasperated, and empathetic tone underpins the entire recap.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Daniel & Nia: A Relationship in Crisis

• Danny expresses deep frustration with Daniel’s behavior toward Nia, both in the current and prior seasons, calling him “triggering” and “a seemingly bad parent” ([04:00], [04:50]).
• Lala Kent is praised for standing up to Daniel and acting as the viewer’s surrogate in calling out his disrespect; “if there’s someone that’s gonna do it, it’s gonna be Lala... she’s gonna make it go pop pop pop!” ([05:30]).
• Danny notes a difference in public sympathy for Daniel when Janet was previously disliked, causing people to overlook his bad behavior in the past.
• Daniel’s pattern of being an unhelpful partner and parent comes to a head during the safari outing and during the pageant scene, where he becomes “aggressive and disrespectful” to Nia ([76:00], [77:59]).
• Lala delivers one of the episode’s standout moments, confronting Daniel:

  “You're passive aggressive, I’m just aggressive. You’re being disrespectful to your wife. I got a brain and two eyes and ears—I see you, and you got the wrong bitch.” (Lala, [77:59])

2. Parenthood, Postpartum, and Production Pressures

• Danny advocates for better maternity/paternity leave in both reality TV and real life, pointing out how hard it is to watch Kristen filming so soon after giving birth:

  “There needs to be better paid maternity and paternity leave... Kristen doesn’t even want to be at this fucking restaurant and Luke’s trying to be nice and—are you just saying that because you have a microphone on?” ([13:30]–[16:00])

• Kristen’s openness about postpartum struggles is highlighted as brave and important TV (“the fact that she's opening up about all this...is really important and relatable” ([62:50])).

3. Lacey’s Shifting Alliances & Quirkiness

• Lacey is described as “fascinating,” unpredictable, and “great for the show,” especially with her lack of loyalty to partner Jesse and quick flips (from fighting to making up with Janet) ([27:00], [33:00]).
• Danny notes Lacey’s failed attempt to join Real Housewives of Orange County—proposing she might have been a better fit on that show.
• Lacey’s ignorance about both an “accordion closet door” and “pegging” (adult topic) is playfully dissected:

  “If you don’t know what pegging OR an accordion door is, what do you know, Lacey?” ([47:30])

• “Lacey with her giant case of Diet Coke—I'm in love with her again” ([47:30]).

4. The ‘Mean Girl’ Debate and Problematic Language

• Danny analyzes the “mean girl” accusation, questioning if it’s always justified or sometimes just shorthand for loyalty and normal conflict:

  “I’m starting to notice that ‘mean girls’ is used as a slur now...sometimes it’s just being a good friend” ([44:00]).

• He interacts with angry listeners who take issue with any perceived Janet “defense,” reminding listeners that, as a recapper, he tries to see both sides.

5. Breaking Down Key Dinner & House Scenes

• The amusement park dinner is “weird” due to visible fractures in the group; Danny notes the cast acts more like “two enemy camps.”
• Michelle is called out for “yawning on candid camera,” and Danny lovingly roasts her about needing to perk up for TV ([37:00]).
• The dinner devolves into discussions of heavy topics (old scandals, fighting, the “push through a window” story), causing Brittany to quip that they shouldn’t re-hash old bad stuff—despite being the one to ignite the conversation ([55:30]).

6. Comic Relief: Safari Outfits & Benji’s Brian Fellowes Energy

• Benji’s safari outfit draws comparisons to Tracy Morgan’s SNL character Brian Fellowes from “Safari Planet”:

  “Every time I saw Benji, I just kept cracking up. That’s crazy!” ([23:30], [62:40])

• Danny campaigns for Benji to get more confessional time.

7. The Pageant and the Cast’s On-Screen Dynamic

• Nia’s “Miss USA” background contrasts sharply with her present, “miserable” reality (“Doesn’t matter how beautiful you are—you can still be miserable in life” ([63:30])).
• The body-drag pageant is recapped humorously—Danny is “ready for anyone but Daniel to strip.”

8. Personal Anecdotes & Life Parallels

• Danny shares a hilarious and mortifying anecdote about accidentally eating an employee’s Hillshire Farm lunch at a car dealership due to exhaustion and distraction ([11:00]).
• He links aspects of his own mental health and anxiety to Kristen’s storyline, giving added emotional resonance to the recap ([62:50]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the exhaustion of watching Daniel and Nia:

  “Why does every time she asks him to do the most basic of things—like can you hold the baby for two seconds—he can’t. He’s gotta complain about it...Just shut the fuck up and help with the baby.” (Danny, [75:00])

• On parenting and empathy:

  “Sometimes you just need someone to stand there and also shut the fuck up...jump on board and complain with me.” (Danny, [16:30])

• On mean girls:

  “It’s not always ‘mean girls.’ Sometimes, on Bravo, it’s just people having their friend’s back.” (Danny, [44:00])

• On the Baywatch rumor & David Hasselhoff:

  “For that man—for the person who was in that (hamburger) video eating hamburgers...for him to be like, actually, I’m going to block someone from The Valley, that is...pretty shocking.” (Danny, [28:00])

• On group dynamics:

  “I sort of feel like they all hate each other...there’s definitely like two groups, and those two groups hate each other.” (Danny, [25:00])

• Lala confronting Daniel:

  “I would hate to see how you talk to her behind closed doors.” (Lala, [77:59])

• Playful critique of Lacey's knowledge:

  “If you don’t know what pegging OR an accordion door is...that’s a pretty wide gap...What do you know, Lacey?” ([47:30])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|-----------------------------------------------------------| | 03:30 | Opening Valley clip – Daniel & Nia “dude” fight | | 04:00–06:50 | Danny’s monologue on Daniel’s behavior & group dynamics | | 13:30–17:00 | Kristen’s postpartum pain and discussion on parental leave| | 23:30 | Benji’s “Brian Fellowes” safari outfit | | 27:00 | Lacey’s alliances, Baywatch rumors, orange county casting | | 44:00 | “Mean girls” vs. friendship analysis | | 47:30 | Lacey’s confusion: accordion door vs. pegging | | 55:30 | The “push through a window” story | | 62:30 | Schwartz’s sex dream, Lala’s quip | | 62:50 | Kristen opens up about postpartum—and Danny parallels | | 75:00 | Danny vents on Daniel’s unhelpfulness at Safari Park | | 77:59 | Lala confronts Daniel in pageant dressing scene |

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Episode Tone & Style

• Language/Tone: Casual, irreverent, comedic with heartfelt asides.
• Vibe: Gossipy, cathartic, sometimes exasperated but always delivered with empathy for “characters” and a broader awareness of the universal struggles playing out on screen.

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Conclusion

This Everything Iconic recap delivers a mix of sharp humor, impassioned calls for empathy (especially around motherhood and fragile relationships), and quintessential Bravo fandom analysis. Through detailed anecdotes, both from “The Valley” and real life, Danny deepens the show’s themes, highlighting the blurred line between comedy and genuine concern for the people on reality TV. The episode’s standout interactions (especially Lala vs. Daniel) and bewildering group dynamics make for what Danny calls “the best episode of the season so far.”

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For listeners pressed for time: Catch Lala’s epic confrontation with Daniel at [77:59], Danny’s savage Benji/safari outfit bit at [23:30], and the “push through a window” drama at [55:30]. For commentary on postpartum struggles and the reality of filming as new parents, listen at [13:30–17:00] and [62:50].

Transcript

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[A]

me because we're partners daniel there's no

[B]

partnership in this it's win or lose you are killing me dude cover all of your facial hair stop dude stop dude oh stop dude the way they were calling each other dude give me your face dude and he's like stop dude i was like that was actually their way of saying i hate you you know they weren't wanting to say those words they were just calling each other dude but that's what the subtext was in that little clip from this week's episode of the valley hello everyone welcome to everything iconic with me danny pellegrino i got a lot on my mind a lot on my mind and i'm going to take it out on daniel on the valley because that man was the episode was called triggers and tiaras and that man was triggering me it's triggering me and it's triggering lala and thank god for lala there standing in her crew socks watching nia paint daniel's face because she was getting ready

[A]

to pop him make it go pop

[B]

pop pop and her panties weren't gonna go drop drop drop she was just gonna pop that man and i was ready for it because i cannot stand that man anymore i can't watch him on screen just berating his wife and then her taking it and the way that these two talk to each other on screen it's been like that from the beginning i mean we were all obviously so distracted by the jax of it all the first two three seasons of this show what season are we on now we're in three the first two seasons though we were so distracted by that demon jax but this was all still happening i mean there were plenty of moments we talked about on the podcast couple of years with the valley where daniel had just been seeming to be a nightmare to his wife i mean it happened i remember one time they were taking a sprinter van and he was talking to her a weird way and then of course that one time when they were drunk and jason was dressed in a hot dog costume i mean there were plenty of times and i know everybody hates janet but then when janet had come out and said oh you made me uncomfortable in the broom closet or where the fuck they were at and then they were calling him dark side danny and stuff everybody was still sort of siding with danny and nia because everybody hated janet so much everybody hated jack so much hated janet so much that everybody was a little bit not paying attention but this daniel i can't watch him anymore he's just so frustrating such a seemingly bad parent to those kids i mean every single week he's getting so frustrated by the one kid that they have on the vacation and it is hard to watch as an audience member like i can only take so much where i'm like thank god that lala this i've never thought i'd say these words in my entire life thank god that lala's on this cast because i need someone to put him in his place and if there's someone that's gonna do it it's gonna be lala lala kent she's gonna make it go pop pop pop remember on vanderpump rules when she said do you want to get papped or do you want to get papped and then she made a song

[A]

out of it make it go pop

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pop pop which a lot of people do a lot of people do complain when i play that clip people either love it or hate it love it or hate it a lot of people love it a lot of people there's a handful of people who are like stop playing and i can't help it especially this week because lalo was ready to pop and i was ready for him to pop daniel because every i hate that man i hate that man we got so much to discuss on this week's episode of the valley they're still in san diego it's a supersized episode supersized isn't the right term i keep calling it super sized but that's what they called those friends episodes in the early two thousands remember will and grace instead of a twenty four minute episode they do like a thirty two minute episode and they'd be like super sized will and grace and i as a little closeted teen boy be like yes fuck yes more karen walker yes you know i was like so excited but that's what they called them the super sized episodes so whenever the episodes on bravo are extended i just naturally call them supersized anyway i am excited to get in this was the best episode of the season so far i feel like we're finally getting somewhere although it is infuriating to watch danny and nia at least feels like we got something to watch something going on you know their misery is a little bit of our entertainment unfortunately for them but i there is a stark difference too earlier in the season i was watching and i think we were all enraged by both luke and daniel but now i am feeling like they're like with luke i feel like there is an understanding and empathy with kristen and although his words are very frustrating to watch when he's saying certain things he's obviously being a dummy when it comes to some of the postpartum stuff with his significant other however there's a very stark difference so i just want to point that out because sometimes i feel like luke and daniel get in they get lumped in with each other but like daniel we've seen so much of this bad behavior over the years over the past three seasons that i think we need to separate them a little bit because luke definitely needs to have more grace with kristen and needs to be a little bit more supportive and not worrying about going fishing for the whole day and complain about how he can't go fishing when his wife is three months postpartum i mean like he needs to be a little bit better but the point is i think they should be separated because daniel is very frustrating very frustrating what else is going on you guys i mention every single episode that i am on a little bit of the brim because we have construction in the backyard and i gotta say the other day we went out and we decided to get out because there was so much noise here at the house with the jackhammering in the backyard and they're doing a lot of stuff and it's loud and plus they've got the baby i'm trying to keep ahead of work stuff it's like a lot happening and so we went to the car dealership i still drive my truck from two thousand five you guys know that i still got my honda from two thousand five and the air conditioning broke i'm like we got to get rid of this thing like we have we do have another car for the baby but i'm like i got to get rid of this truck it barely works anymore everything it's breaking down on me so so we thought we'd get out of the house go to the car dealership and just look around maybe test drive some cars see what's happening and so we go and i'm so overstimulated that like i can't even think straight you guys like my brain is not i'm running on very little sleep like i'm my brain is not working or at full capacity right and so we go to the car dealership we're waiting and you know how those things take a while and you're even to just test drive things you gotta fill out paperwork or whatever and so we're waiting around and you always we were with the baby and we told the guy i was like oh we're in a rush because we don't have a lot of time to just be sitting here with the baby we gotta eventually go home and feed the baby and then put the baby down all that stuff and so then the baby starts crying like as we're waiting for the guy to finish the paperwork to do the test driving situation and so we're sort of taking turns in the parking lot like walking him in the stroller to keep him calm and all that stuff and so i'm sitting in the dealership when matt's outside and i'm just like kind of losing it right like i'm saying deep breaths doing the hail mary like saying prayer to mariah carey like doing whatever i have to do to calm myself down okay because i hear the baby crying i'm thinking i can't go home yet because they're still drilling and all that shit so i'm better off at the car dealership but then i'm thinking oh the baby's got to get home so it's a whole mind fuck but as i'm sitting there the guy one of the fellows who works at this place it was like a small car dealership office which was very confusing to me because you know the bigger car dealerships sometimes they have like a little lobby area where they got a coffee a vending machine you sometimes will put like cookies out or something like that and it's a little bit of a lobby but this place was like sort of small but like still had a little corner area and the guy the gentleman there was like hey if you want something to drink like there's some drinks over there and he pointed in the corner where there was like a little mini fridge and i thought this was like a customer lobby situation that's where my brain was and he's like oh there's some snacks over there and so i'm thinking like oh i can get a snack and drink i was hungry at the time so i mosey on over there and i go to the mini fridge i grab sparkling water and then i see there's like one of those little charcuterie like hillshire farm charcuterie packs they're basically like adult lunchables do you know what i'm talking about it's got like a little honey roasted turkey in there a cracker and some salami or something and so i see that in there i'm like i'm gonna grab a sparkling water he said go help yourself over there so i grabbed that you know and then i go sit down and eat it and i finish it and i just put it's on the table there matt comes in with the baby and we're waiting for the guy still to finish up the paperwork and then i hear one of the other fellas come in from the garage at the car dealership and he's looking you guys for his hillshire farm charcuterie and i'm like sitting there i'm like oh fuck like i ate this man's lunch like i i didn't realize this was like their office area this wasn't like a lobby situation where it was like for anyone and when the guy had told me help yourself to snacks i think he meant like there was a basket of some candy on top of there i think that's what he meant but i went in the fridge and grabbed the hillshire farm charcuterie container pack snack pack lunchable and i ate it right there and then i'm sitting there i'm like well do i raise my hand and tell the guy i mean he was sort of far away from me so i didn't think he could see the empty hillshire farm lunchable but i was like i don't know what to do do i tell him or whatever so then i just like ran outside and left matt in there like i was like i'll take the baby you know and i ran i go i'll take the baby and then it made it look like matt stole this person's lunch and so it wasn't me but i do feel bad for that man i don't know he didn't ultimately like confront matt or anything and i was just outside like walking the baby in the stroller just laughing my ass off but i apologize to that man i don't it was his lunch and apparently it was just like the office refrigerator and i didn't know i thought it was a lobby situation it wasn't but anyway so i'm not really working at a high capacity right now so if i get things wrong it's so be it but i did take actually copious pages of notes because this was such a super sized episode and they they went on a little safari and it was making me laugh too because their safari outfits mostly benji i want to focus on because do you guys know brian fellows from that it was a tracy morgan snl character from like the nineties and he had a talk show like a zoo talk show where he invited zoologists or people with animals on the show and then he he would like interview them and the animals and so then if they had a parrot on he'd be like that parrot's talking that's crazy and he would and he's always dressed in this like safari outfit and i was like oh my god benji is dressed like brian fellowes from snl's safari planet was the name of sketch and it was cracking me up every time i saw benji that's crazy i just was like laughing so hard at benji in that brian fellows outfit i love more benji i would like benji to just step it up and do they even give benji a confessional they should give benji confessional honestly bravo what are you doing if we can give schwartz and lala a confessional we can certainly mic up benji and put him on that couch come on anyway we opened this week with lacy and lacy says janet was trying to find things out about her and doesn't want to be around her and first of all this so this leads into the fight that they have this episode and i think it was like i know everyone hates janet i get it i get it a lot of people you don't got to tell me twice if there's one thing i'm certain of it's like death taxes and that the whole audience fucking hates janet right those are the only things in life that i'm certain of however i try to look at these episodes objectively and i try to say like okay like if this was my real life or if i was in this is a reality show if i was one of these people like how would i feel and lacey's upset that janet was like looking into her okay but i would if like if i was on a tv show and like somebody was like either coming on the tv show or dating someone in the cast and then sending cease and desist orders to other cast members about like what they're talking about on the show like i would also do a little research on that person right like i'd be like okay i gotta see what we're dealing with because this person's sending cease and desist orders to my friend michelle who's a cast member and saying don't talk about me on the tv show we're all on together so like i need to at least do a little basic research and so i just want i'm not trying to defend michelle and janet and all these people but like i don't think it's totally out of the ordinary for them to do a little recon on this person that sending him cease and desist about the tv show they're on does that make sense i don't know we did open this week at the amusement park and they go to dinner with their prizes schwartz carries danny into the restaurant because danny is so fucking lazy i guess can't even take care of his kids or walk the boardwalk at the amusement park i'm pissed man as hell schwartz even the laziest person i've ever seen until schwartz isn't so lazy but you know what i mean like i don't know that schwartz for schwartz to carry daniel i keep calling him daniel because i just don't want to call him danny but him carrying him into the restaurant i was like that that man can't even do any can't even work his legs he's got to rely on schwartz to walk him into the restaurant and then michelle arrives late because she was on that beach having that conversation with lala and michelle sits across from lacy and i did write in my notes that this is a weird group i think we sort of need a couple more people that get we need people that get along with everyone because i'm looking at the table and i'm like i i sort of feel like they kind of all hate each other we're supposed to believe this is like a group of friends i'm like actually i think they all sort of hate each other or at least there's definitely like two two groups here like there's one group that likes each other and then another group that likes each other but those two groups hate each other i don't know there was a sheena flashback there was sheena because lacy brought up about that thing about how she fucked someone from baywatch and it was actually sheena who revealed that information and sheena's not even on this show but she's evoked every single week on this show and they flash back to it and lacey has to say that like what's her name the guy from baywatch david hasselhoff blocked her on social media that's right david hasselhoff i guess thought it was him that they were talking about and hasselhoff's and his wife which let's just break this down for forty five minutes because david hasselhoff did anyone ever see that video where he's like eating a hamburger on the floor do you know what i'm talking about there was like this viral video from years and years ago and it's like the one of the most horrific videos that has ever been on the internet okay so for that man for the person who was in that video eating hamburgers like so fucked up on the ground for him to be like actually i'm going to block someone from the valley like that is actually like pretty shocking to me because that man has seen and done things that we can all only dream of and he's taking things way too far as we've seen in the video of him on the ground eating that hamburger and so for him to think that like someone from the valley is taking things too far that is shocking to me but lacy says it wasn't even him that wasn't even the situation was even him it was like some other guy do we ever get confirmation which one it was i told you i used to see one of my crushes from the early seasons of or from the original run of baywatch at the gym i used to see him there all the time and it was like that's the one of the things about living in los angeles like you do sort of run into celebrities sometimes and it's like a random celebrity that you had a sexual awakening about and you're like oh there they are at trader joe's or like what whoops it's very odd it's very odd but let's see lacy's sort of twisting all of this i think that's how i feel about lacy and look i think lacy's great for the show and it's really fascinating to me how she's turning on jesse her partner who she's on the show with it seems like she hates him like that's at least from the audience perspective i'm like oh lacey actually does not like jesse and jesse's trying really hard for lacey and i i do think on some level like lacy was probably trying to be on television because we learned that she was trying to be on the housewives of orange county she like had interviewed a bunch of times which is weird to me because i think they have the same production company don't they orange county and this show i believe i could be wrong so don't quote me on that but i think they have the same producers so it's like actually she interviewed with the producers of this show and the producers were like no you're not right for orange county but like let's throw you on the valley but so i don't even think she's interested in jesse but that's so fascinating to me because she i love a person that like their alliances shift a lot of the time that's what i like so much about like salt lake city is that you're watching week to week and it's like this week angie and lisa hate each other but then the next week they're best friends and they got over it and then angie's fighting with heather and then heather's fighting with this one like they change all the time and there's no one really has like that sort of a blind loyalty to each other as much and that's what i find good about lacy is that she's turning on jesse even in her first couple of episodes on the show and she's like making up with janet and fighting with her and you know it's like she's showing me a lot of different things and i'm really appreciating that but i do believe she's probably on doing all of this to be on the tv show right that's what i think but at the restaurant kristen wants to leave she doesn't want shots she doesn't want to be there she doesn't want to be the negative nancy and this is another reason why like they shouldn't have started filming so so quickly after those two had their babies because it is so upsetting to watch there needs to be better paid maternity and paternity leave for parents out there none of this it should be paid mandatory paid for more than three months for everybody i'm not just saying reality tv stars but everybody universally it is ridiculous to me that moms working mothers have to go right back to work because they don't get longer paid maternity leave and this is a show that is just showing us what this is like because their bodies are going through it their emotions are going their hormones and everything and it's like we need to show this to i don't know the government or something not that they do anything but we need to show somebody somebody needs to be watching this show to say like hey we need longer parental leave from work because kristen doesn't even want to be at this fucking restaurant and luke's trying to be nice and he's like yeah i know she just had a baby and what was so interesting to me is like he was being empathetic to her and kristen said are you just saying that because you have a microphone on caught got you she got you luke caught that's right she got him she said to her significant other who was being nice on camera she said are you just saying that because you have a microphone on whoo i got the chills just from that little one and she's physically uncomfortable she said she's got to change her adult diaper at the amusement park can you even imagine do you know what amusement park bathroom is like let's just all close our eyes and imagine amusement park bathroom so imagine having to change your adult diaper because they're making you film a tv show with a bunch of people you hate and you gotta film you gotta change your adult diaper in that nasty ass san diego amusement park bathroom absolutely not like give her a raise kristen deserves honestly a raise and an egot or something just give her an award or something because there's no reason that she should have to be hanging out with these yahoos that she don't even want to hang out with the husband too she didn't want to be with him she just wants to go home to the baby and sit in her house and enjoy herself relax and try to heal herself from all that she's just been through and yet she's got to be here and change her adult diaper in an amusement park bathroom absolutely not let her go home let her go home and luke says he feels like he can't say anything right and the truth is he can't so he should just shut his mouth that's his that's my truth is that and god bless luke i mean god bless him but he he feels like he can't say anything right and he's absolutely right about that that's finally the only thing he is right about is that he can't say anything right so shut the up you know that sometimes you just need that from somebody and that's universal that's not even just a postpartum thing like when you're when you're in a mood or you're going through something or you're stressed or anxious or having anxiety issues or depression or whatever like sometimes you just need someone to stand there and also shut the fuck up like hold my hand agree with everything i say and if i'm complaining about something just join in and complain you know like i don't even want when i'm in like a really piss poor mood i don't even want somebody like to try to be like oh everything's great or it's gonna be good or just let's turn it around like i don't want any of that like annoying optimism sometimes i just want you to be like yeah this is all bullshit like whatever it is that we're complaining about like just jump on board and just yeah if i'm complaining about that i'm wearing an adult diaper at the amusement park and i don't want to be here just say like yeah that's fucking sucks i'm pissed too you know that's all luke really needs to say and then shut up but unfortunately you know he keeps talking unfortunately and that's that's unfortunate when any man keeps talking i think but zach asks if kristen's okay and kristen's like fuck like i don't want to make this a big thing she doesn't want to make it a big storyline and i was like please let kristen wrap her you know like a producer writing cast to wrap them so i was just thinking producer step in and wrap her wrap her for the evening say you could go back to that house i feel uncomfortable at that house there was like a word art sign that said together in one of the in the main house i think that they're staying at and when i saw that i just got like a bad eerie vibe and i do think on the valley they're not really sending them on nice luxurious vacations they're very like low budget vacays and i just it makes me sad like they need to go to a nicer vacation spot because everything like with the cast members is pretty sad to watch and so like maybe at least give us some vacation porn but like i don't want to look in an airbnb that's got word art around them and then they have to separate them in three different houses because they're not big enough to house the full cast so let's figure out a nicer resort or something but let's see yeah so everyone's checking on her and there is a moment where luke says i wish there was a mutual understanding that we're both figuring this out and i was like you know what i understand i want to give a little empathy to luke i do and yet it's hard for me because it's like well kristen's going through much more but we also have to realize like luke is going through a change it's certainly not equivocal that's why luke needs to save a lot of that complaining for like go complain to zach or somebody else about your troubles like kristin's got her own troubles right now so she don't need to deal with your bullshit do you know i'm saying like i am empathetic to him and how he's going through this shift in his life too because i think that's important to understand but it's like don't kristen's got enough on her plate right now and luke also wonders he's like his other parents like this or is it just us i don't know i don't know the group does though have a light hearted moment where they're auditioning people for jasmine and melissa's wedding and so they're trying to decide if like jesse should do the officiating or if lala should do it and they're all kind of fighting for it because they know that's going to be screen time and a guaranteed next season and so that's what they're really auditioning for is for next season because i would imagine jasmine's wedding's gonna be like maybe the launching point of the season four right they're gonna show it on camera they know jasmine's safe in her spot for this series because she knows that she's at the wedding coming up and so the other cast members who might be on the chopping block could look at that and say okay well if i'm involved in jasmine's wedding then they can't fire me for next season that's like a guaranteed contract because you can't have if lala's officiating the wedding you can't just fire her from the show because then she'll be in the premiere next season when they're launching jasmine's wedding and so then lala will be in the season they can't fire her otherwise they'd have to edit her out which would be weird if they're editing out the officiant so that's like a guaranteed paycheck smart smart okay so then we do see meanwhile at the table danny's having some drinks and we're all looking at thinking dark side danny's coming out oh uh oh and danny was being annoying even schwartz is like what the fuck is going on and lala's sort of like looking at the corner of her eye but you could tell when like schwartz is pretty amenable like he gets along with pretty much everybody like think about the times we've been with schwartz he was sticking through with tom sandoval and the while he was doing the scandal schwartz was like well he's okay you know what i mean he was friends with jax last season like he could pretty much put up with anyone's bullshit is what i'm trying to say and he will and yet even him at that table was like kind of you could feel him side eyeing danny like danny was like having drinks and like being annoying as fuck and schwartz was just sort of like like you could feel his uncomfortability and lala says in the confessional i heard danny becomes loud and super annoying and obnoxious and it's like yeah you heard it and you heard it right baby girl because he is and we need you to step up to the plate and give him hill give him hell give him lala wasn't that the name wasn't that her catchphrase give him lala give him lala stupid catchphrase that's crazy let's take a break here i want to come back and we barely scratch the surface baby so buckle up buttercup i want to thank acast and we'll be right back i feel like the hardest part about working out isn't even the workout it's everything leading up to it 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wayfair dot com right now to shop all things home that's wayfair w a y f a i r dot com wayfair every style every home wayfair every style every home acast powers the world's best podcasts here's a show that we recommend hello hello it's brooke devard from naked beauty join me each week for unfiltered discussion about beauty trends self care journeys wellness tips and the products we absolutely love and cannot get enough of if you are a skincare obsessive and you spend twenty plus plus minutes on your skincare routine this podcast is for you or if you're a newbie at the beginning of your skincare journey you'll love this podcast as well because we go so much deeper than beauty i talk to incredible and inspiring people from across industries about their relationship with beauty you'll also hear from skincare experts we break down lots of myths in the beauty industry if this sounds like your thing search for naked beauty on your podcast app and listen along i hope you'll join us and we're back that's crazy before we get to the rest of this dinner i do want to just point out that i saw you know stacy from the real houses of potomac i saw on social media there was this interview clip of her on a red carpet somewhere and they the red carpet interviewer asked her if style caster on tiktok that's where i saw the video initially but the reporter had asked stacy about giselle because giselle's daughter daughter i believe is in a sorority with angelina jolie's daughter and so there's this picture of like the the daughters and angelina jolie and giselle like they were in the and other other gals and their moms too but i guess like the interviewer asked stacy from potomac housewives like what she thinks of that or something like that about giselle and angelina and their daughters being friends or whatever and stacy gave like my favorite housewife answer because she calls giselle evil and then she's like but she's a great mom and so it's like so housewives and to me it's like that's why stacy's the perfect housewife because it's like that's the relationship i do want for my housewives is like for them to think that each other are evil but like also find something good about them it's like the conflict resolution it's like yeah i hate her with all of my guts and she's my arch nemesis but she's a really good mom and so i pulled the clip and i just want us to listen because it made me laugh so hard despite our differences generally speaking i'm joyous and she's evil she's a great mom she loves her children and i support her totally and i support her totally it's like so housewifey it's so housewives and it makes me happy anyway back to the valley we are at this dinner at the amusement park or outside the amusement park danny's been drinking michelle's yawning on camera and you can't be yawning on candid camera baby girl like that camera is picking it up and we need you to perk it up have a diet coke or something because this show is already bleak enough we can't imagine and michelle's actually been my favorite so far this season honestly honestly i feel like i've gotten to know michelle she's been doing cartwheels on camera i'm like i didn't know that side of her she's opening up better her mom and like i find michelle at least very interesting like i'm like oh i'm getting to know her a little bit more on the show so but that said you can't be yawning on candid camera like you gotta have some sugar or something like i know most of us like i'm going to bed i'm in bed by eight pm watching tv or something which by the way last night i watched that martin short documentary on netflix ah i loved it i mean obviously i love martin short with all my heart he's my franck from father of the bride i mean i love him and everything he does and he's so brilliant and also one of my favorite memoirs is of his he wrote a memoir years ago but it's one of my favorite celebrity memoirs it's great if you haven't read it i'm sure he does the audiobook too but i read the book but he's got a new documentary on netflix and he's been through so much he's had so much loss and grief in his life and yet has such a beautiful attitude about life and i found it very inspiring and it doesn't really get into too much nitty gritty like it's kind of a little surface level for the documentary but i loved it and you see there's a lot of home video footage of him hanging out with some of his famous friends and he has these infamous christmas parties which i learned about reading in his memoir about these holiday parties he throws and you get to see little clips and i always i remember reading the memoir and thinking like what i would give to go to a martin short holiday party because it was like it sounded so incredible and they even show some home video footage from these parties and it's like oh my god it almost exceeded what i had imagined in my head because people show up to these and you have all these incredibly talented people like catherine o' hara rest in peace and eugene levy and andrea martin and all these people and when you go tom hanks and rita wilson and when you go to the martin short holiday party they all have to sort of perform for people and so you have like some of the most incredible entertainers of our time and they're just at a christmas party getting up to a microphone and it's not filmed for anything and they're just it's amazing but so i highly recommend that i highly recommend that i don't even know how i got there what was i talking about i don't know i guess i guess back to this the valley but so michelle's yawning then they all go back oh while she's yawning though danny daniel says if you fall asleep you might be labeled an alcoholic because people were labeling him and it's like dude actually like people are labeling you because you make everybody fucking uncomfortable like everybody has told you that you make them uncomfortable when you're drinking from everyone from janet to jax to jasmine to all the j's i guess jason every single person on this cast that's name starts with j has said that danny makes him annoyed and uncomfortable when he's drinking and so then he's making jokes about it it's like well have you not did you not watch the show back because even in one season everybody was saying that i'm dark side danny and i make everyone uncomfortable when i'm drinking and then not only that we see it as an audience member the times he's been drinking he gets uncomfort probably because he's short he's a shorter man which i love a short king and he's very attractive so that's no shade to short king but i did lovingly say last week that nia's got five under five five because that man's a child and so i imagine the alcohol hits him quicker so you need to be a little more careful daniel but after one season he should have watched on the behavior the way that everybody was responding to the behavior as well as just seeing on screen the way he acts when he's drunk and you would think that he'd be like okay like maybe i just shouldn't drink on camera and even last week on the show it seemed like he was mad at nia because he wasn't drinking at the park i think he made a few snide comments about it but it's like well that's nobody's fault except for your own like you're the one who can't handle the alcohol like if you can't not make everybody uncomfortable when you're drinking or annoyed because i'm not even talking about like taking out the what were the words that i think janet used the word sexual assault right or i don't want to use those terms lightly because i don't remember exactly what the wording was but even taking away that seriousness just from a very base level even like i said schwartz was annoyed at your drinking at the table from my eyes so it's like even if it's just annoying you should stop doing it right like you should look at the behavior and be like maybe i don't need a cocktail i don't need a white claw right now at the safari where benji's dressed as brian fellows that's crazy benji i love him i love benji i do i do love my benji remember that dog benji yeah i have a benji so then anyway what do we got here they leave the restaurant brittany's i'm ready to take off this shirt put some sweatpants on and i loved actually that went back to the house and they all did get on their in their sweatpants there was something very vanderpump rules coded about it because they were all running around in sweatpants or pajamas at this house in the kitchen boozing it felt very millennial twenty something like i i know they're all my age in real life but like i kind of felt like i was going back in time to my twenties it's like we're all on a fun group trip everybody's drinking in their pajamas and hanging out in the kitchen and it felt like remember on vanderpump rules when brittany found out about the faith and jack situation where jackson faith hooked up with an old lady in the bed and there was like that recording and they were all at the apartments and it was like they were going from one apartment to the other apartment but they were all kind of in like sloppy clothes or pajamas or sweats or whatever not full glam or anything like that and they were going from apartment to apartment dealing with all this drama and that's kind of what i felt maybe that's why i like this episode because it felt very i felt nostalgic for old vanderpump rules and also maybe it was like one of the first scenes finally where we didn't have to watch a baby and like god bless the babies we love the babies children of the future whitney houston but i can't watch a baby on the valley anymore like enough is enough like put the babies up in britney's attic or wherever you got to put them with the nannies god bless them but we can't watch a baby anymore so we've gotta gotta get the group in and babies off screen put them off screen i don't care where you put them let them hang out with the nannies the babysitters the i don't care who it is hang out with maybe not jax but anybody else off camera like anybody else call up peter and have peter start watching this kids because i can't watch them on candid camera no more but so it was nice to just see them all get drunk and i liked it and then let's see before though they get back to the house janet jason lacy and jesse stay behind at the restaurant and lacy says she doesn't like gang up bully mean girl thing meaning like she said janet michelle and all that yeah gosh i don't even want to say this on the microphone because i know you guys are going to yell at me again because it's going to sound like i'm sticking up for janet again and so i'm just gonna get messages being like i hate janet anytime i even say something like sometimes i don't even say something nice about janet i'll just say something like you know janet went into the room and people like why did you have to say that janet went in the room because people hate her so much and i get that i understand but i do when lacy says like the mean girl thing i sometimes think like this let's take lacy and janet out of the equation in general on bravo i'm starting to notice that like they use that mean girls is used as a like a slur now like remember back in the day on bravo it used to be like bullying like when kelly bensimon would be like and bethany was bullying me you know she would use it as if it was like everybody acted like this was the worst thing like you just called someone a fag or something like that like a gay man a fag like that's the kind of the vibe that the word bullying had in the early years of the real housewives and now i'm finding that same vibe with the term mean girls and it almost is like used now and so when lacy used it i was like it's not always sometimes sometimes it is i get it sometimes it is maybe mean girls ganging up on each other but other times don't you think it could just be like friends having a similar opinion or being there for their other friends like if my best friend it got a cease and desist from you okay and i and she hated you and also was like showing you were showing up to pick up my my friends my best friend's daughter from school even though we agreed that not to introduce to whatever then i would stick up for my best friend and i would hate that other person without meeting them as well like that i would be a good friend i think that's called being a good friend like if if i was best friends with michelle and she had told me this woman had shown up to my daughter's school and picked her up even though my ex and i decided that we weren't gonna introduce anyone to the daughter yet and then was sending me a cease and desist saying don't talk to me on the tv show and all these things were adding up i'd be like okay i'm not gonna like you on behalf of you michelle does that make sense and so like it's always used like mean girl and i'm like i don't know if that's mean girl as much as like maybe just being a friend not to mention i' little unclear if like they all got the legal letter or if it was just i don't know but again i do love lacey on the show so i'm not trying to hate on that and please don't yell at me in the dms about saying something defending janet i don't want to hear it okay we do find out though that lacy you know i didn't like the text that michelle sent lacy although lacy they showed the text on screen and lacy was exaggerating because i don't think michelle was like oh she's so ugly from her plastic surgery like michelle definitely said mean things thanks to lacing those text messages however i don't think they were like what lacey was saying because michelle did say she like looked weird or something i should have wrote down what the texts were but she didn't say anything about plastic surgery did she but michelle definitely should it was not appropriate but then i think like i don't know it's hard for me to understand i want to be empathetic to all sides and so i think like about my own relationship and i'm like well if matt had hooked up with a new person i probably would hate them no matter what and i would probably send mean texts about that person unfortunately i think i would i'd like to think that like we could be a nice modern family where we all get along and stuff but i don't know initially i would hate that other person that he was dating to hell with them okay so then jason's wearing a lover boy hat i don't know why i thought that was an interesting crossover lacy says you google her though and now it's all about baywatch so she's pissed about it that's why she says david a house off blocked her and i love that i love a little weird crossover and this whole baywatch crossover is really giving it to me lacy and janet do ultimately make up and that's when lacy gets mad at jesse and is like jesse go apologize to janet for yelling at her and then janet was like hey you know how we can really move forward is if you fuck jesse with the dildo and they say what does that mean like she didn't understand it's like what what do you mean by that and lacey or janet's like yeah just with the dog just peg him i don't know i don't do butt stuff see janet i don't do but i don't even talk about butt stuff i'm not into butt stuff i don't know anything about butt stuff what's that i don't know what do you mean peg what does that mean what do you want me to do with it what's the dildo i don't do butt stuff lacy didn't she say she she doesn't go near the butt or something she's like i don't even i don't even go near the butt and i don't know butt stuff and it was like it was just a joke although lacy should try it you know i think more wasn't there an episode of broad city about that where like one of the gals abby pegged someone something like that i think everybody should try it you know just try it look at around you the world's on fire right now try some fun stuff get wild in the sack just see what happens see what you like what you don't like gotta decide you gotta look into it okay then we cut to the house they're all a little drunk lacy really won me over though here because she was holding a giant case of diet coke and like she just had the full she didn't even just have like one little can she had like the full box of it and i was just like oh i'm in love with her again they're all a little drunk lacy though she did also not only did she not understand the dildo but there was a quick little moment where jesse was like folding the closet door open and it was an accordion door and he's like i you know trying to put my stuff in but it's hard with this accordion door or whatever and she's like what's that so what's that and i wrote in my notes she needs to learn things because i understand like one or the other i could give you i feel like if you don't know what a dildo and pegging is then you should at least know what an accordion door is because that's a pretty wide gap and to me those are on opposite sides of the spectrum of like life nouns you know what i'm saying like accordion door the kind of person who would know what accordion door is would be the opposite of somebody who doesn't know what pegging is and so for you not to know either one of those makes me question like well what do you know you know what do you know lacey and that's why we need her mic'd up for more tv because i need to know about this person and honestly i think it might have been gosh should i say this it might have been a mistake that they didn't put her on orange county housewives am i wrong because she's sort of weird she's a little weird and quirky to me and i'm like the orange county housewives need that like they could have gotten rid of hip and casita and filled it in the spot with lacy and then we got jesse over there in orange county like to me it might have made more sense than having another cast member on the valley maybe it was a maybe it was like one of those a coin toss decision where the producer was like well let's figure out where we put her do we put her in orange county or do we put her on the valley what needs her more i don't know i don't know but she's mad at jesse she says jesse's giving the ick i'm like these two are not gonna last let's take a break here another break and then we're going to come right back our last break of the day and then we got to talk about so much stuff so we didn't even get to the safari yet you guys still got two pages baby be right back i don't know what it is about spring but suddenly it's like i want to be outside all the time i want to move i want to act like i have a routine even it's just a walk outside i want to feel like i got it together and that starts weirdly with what i'm wearing especially my socks because i feel them on my feet as i'm walking outside and that's why i've been wearing my bombas sports socks which i love you know i love my bombas they're actually designed for whatever you're doing walking working out even just running some errands 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bit of side eye and we end every episode with recommendations on all the best new movies books tv shows or music to find out more just search up the podcast with knox and jamie wherever you listen to podcasts and prepare to make wednesday your new favorite day of the week acast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere acast dot com and we're back generally speaking i'm joyous and she's evil okay so then michelle brittany lala and janet sit and talk about lacy janet's in the massage chair and look was this a mean girl scene i don't know i'm curious what lacy would think about these gals getting together because they were getting together to talk about lacey but that's also the concept of this reality tv show and i understand why those people who are friends with michelle are having her back but maybe this did it veer into mean girl behavior i don't know i don't know who's to say what the fuck do i know then luke and zach sit down too luke questions if he's a good dad because of constant criticism from kristen and he's trying to understand this is why i think him and daniel are different because it seems like luke is actively trying to understand kristen and trying to empathize with her and trying to see and although he's going through his stuff and he he shouldn't maybe be equating it to kristen he's also still trying to understand whereas i feel like with daniel he doesn't seem like he's trying to understand his wife nia at all it seems like he's just to trying up against her and she's constantly she's crying out even when she's not crying out like she's trying to keep that plaster that smile on her face but it's so clear to everyone watching that she's miserable and angry and stressed and anxious and all of these emotions that he's not seeing and it's like of all people to see it should be him not the audience watching the reality tv show like you're with her all the time and you guys are supposed to be husband and wife so like you should see that and so when i see luke sit down with zach and like he's trying to understand and i'm like well daniel isn't trying to understand anything at least from what we're seeing but zach cries into luke's in the conversation with luke and he's like you should be crying zach says to luke and i was like yeah actually zach spot on but leave it to a gay to give us some tears and some drama on screen because a gay knows that we need entertainment that's showbiz that's showbiz and so zach at least knows what showbiz is and so he's like i've got to squeak out a tear for luke and kristen so be it like i got to put on a show zach's a showgirl and the gays know the gays know but then zach tells luke to just support her and luke also hears from zach that he's a good parent and good for kristen and it touches him and luke says the baby is actually tearing this couple apart even though they fought for the baby and so i'm rooting for them i really am and i think if they're if they're able to keep understanding each other and luke's able to keep trying to see kristen's perspective and empathize with her then i think that they'll be able to make it and be good let's see then ten sixteen pm schwartz is texting kiana his girlfriend is that her name you know she is beautiful she popped up on my social media and i just like saw somebody post something about kiana with the glasses you know the girlfriend is that her name kiana and she's so stunningly beautiful and i was like gosh was i too hard on her last week because we're just getting to know her so maybe i was if she if i was i apologize i'm going through it with this constriction i'm going through i am going through it so anyway i just want to apologize lacy tells jesse to apologize again though to janet she said she was triggered by jesse raising her voice or whatever and then michelle pulls lacey aside and says she was threatened to sue and lacey's like well i don't talk about you i don't know they were then they start arguing and i guess michelle sent those text messages to jesse and jesse showed lacey what she shouldn't have done and this is where oh the text messages i did write down michelle called her a fake oc girl and doesn't approve of her look to be the daughter's stepmom and i can't defend michelle here because it's like you could have but also jesse like why would you say why would you show your ex wife's and the mother of your child's text to the new girlfriend like that's messy i guess it's good tv so good job jesse but also don't do that do not do that in real life but also thank you god bless you jesse and then you push oh oh my god oh my god we didn't even talk about this yet allegedly michelle pushed jesse through a window that's crazy through a window and look they both have competing stories about how he got pushed through a window and we don't support any sort of domestic violence but i'm a little confused as to how he got pushed through the window because lacey just shouts it out she's like jesse did you push michelle or michelle did you put jesse through a window and michelle's like how dare you and the whole group is just like oh shh shh shh the whole group all their eyes go wide like i saw the whites of everyone's eyes every one of them and they were all a little tipsy too so the way that they were able to open those eyes i know brittany with her botox sometimes you could always see the whites of the eyes because she's got the brows to the high heavens god bless beautiful gal but the rest of them even i was like i see all of their zach's got the eyebrows too him and brittany got the same brow line which is on their hairline but they you could see the whites of their eyes and they were all like oh this was something we're not supposed to talk about like we were not supposed to say this on camera and then we get the competing storylines jesse says it was about a commercial deal and he was folding laundry and then she pushed him or something and i don't know this was interesting to me it's like i hate that we weren't filming because i need more information about how he got pushed through the window i think michelle said that he was drunk or something i don't know jasmine says michelle just needs a vibrator so she's gonna doordash her one she's like she just needs to get get laid and then someone new man in her life but brittany's like we're just rehashing old bad stuff and meanwhile it was like brittany who kind of sparked this whole thing because brittany was the one who when they got back to the house she's like lacy you and michelle need to talk like you need to talk about all that old stuff you were you were angry about and then when they do talk about all the old stuff they were angry about britney's like we do not need to be rehashing old stuff and i was like brit bananas what do you i love my britney i love my britney i do i love her but michelle yells at jesse she's like divorce me please and it's like yeah they need to just divorce i can't believe imagine having being in the middle of a divorce but like you're on a tv show together like that is everyone's worst nightmare but lacy says or no michelle says lacy doesn't like jesse or lala says that lacy doesn't like jesse and jesse doesn't have money and so he's miserable which was interesting to me then we cut to the next day there was a quick little moment where they were playing with bunnies and i was like where the fuck did these bunnies come from it was like was it the front yard or something and brittany's like one of those bunnies has eye lighter on and i was like why are there it was so fast and you know you couldn't even catch my breath i was like still dealing with still dealing with how lacy didn't know what an accordion closet door was that when all of a sudden we were talking about or seeing the bunnies with an eyeliner on i was like what the fuck are we doing where are we where are we schwartz meanwhile wakes up and he's giving tony soprano he's got the gold chain and the robe on and remember in the very first episode of the sopranos it was like that's that's the kind of vibe schwartz was it probably the only one of the few times that i've been very attracted to schwartz was when he was in that robe and he like woke up from a sex dream lala you know like that was that was what he's just waking up from make it

[A]

go pop pop pop until my panties go drop drop drop made her paintings

[B]

go drop drop drop in that dream he out of her because he wakes up in that tony soprano outfit and it's like hey lala had a sex dream about you and lala's like well what happened you shit on my chest or something that's what her mind immediately goes to which i had a lot of questions about that i mean i don't know if we want to spend a lot of time on that but we could we could maybe should we should we like why would yeah i don't know if we should but maybe like why would that be your first why would that why is that your first like kind of hypothesis it's like oh do you shit on my chest in the dream like because i don't and i know i just a few minutes ago told everyone to be adventurous in the sack and start exploring the bedroom and stuff but i don't know about shitting on someone's chest i don't want anyone pooping on my chest i don't know and so it's not something i would explore with but i don't want to kink shame but i'm just not sure that i want anyone pooping on my chest especially you got you know i'm italian polish i got a lot of hair on my chest like i can't be dealing with somebody pooping on me i'm starting to get gross but lala says though she doesn't even imagine schwartz fucking she's like his socks would probably still be on and i'm like i bet you actually she's right about that because the only place that schwartz probably wears socks is in the bedroom you know like i always call him shoeless schwartz cause he's always got the hooves out and i bet you the only place is like when he's having sex is like he keeps his socks he like puts socks on he's like i'll be right back then we cut to the safari benji and zach they're both sort of dressed like brian fellows that's crazy but especially benji i love him god bless luke and kristen go on the swing kristen opens up about her postpartum which is the fact that she's opening up about all this i think is really important and relatable to a lot of people and young mothers out there so it must be very hard for her to do this on camera because i can't exactly relate i can think of my own anxiety or depression at times when i've been in the throes of depression and i think about like opening up about that depression on a large platform while you're in it is really brave and so she's doing this with postpartum which i don't know exactly what what it's like for you know a woman whose body's going through changes and all that kind of thing but i would imagine it's even harder to do than opening about maybe your depression or anxiety when you're going through it because you're going through you haven't quite figured it out yet you're not on the other side of it and so for her to just go into the season be like fine i'll show everything that's going on i think is really incredible but she talks about her comfort zone and not wanting to leave the house which that was for me when i think of my sort of throes of depression i was like that i had the sort of my safe zones where it was hard for me to even leave that my apartment at the time when i was in the really serious bout of depression it was like i could barely get to the shower in my apartment but the idea of just like even going to the grocery store or any of like outside of my safety zones like i had a few places that it was like if i went to it every day it was easy for me to go to but anything if people were to invite me like somewhere new let's say it would be like so much energy to just make it there but it would it would feel like climbing a mountain an obstacle just to agree to go somewhere else so i related to that when she said that but luke says he does get defensive but he gets beat down and he wants her to say that she's stressed and anxious and she said she was anxious before postpartum and now she feels sadness and rage and she apologizes to him and she's worried that like her other relationships she says luke will say he's had enough when her anxiety is heightened which that is also so real that's so real i don't know her opening up about this i think is really great meanwhile we cut to the san diego safari park and it's sort of weird that they're all parents going to zoo without their kids i know nia brought the daughter but is it the daughter or a son is it a little i don't know they brought the kid the baby to the safari park but it's like so weird like let's go to the zoo we're all adults and we all have kids but none of the kids are with us like that is so weird like wouldn't you think it's weird if like if matt and i just decided to go to the zoo but like we didn't bring our son lucky like we just like see ya baby sit with the babysitter daddy and papa are going to the going to the zoo you know how people that baby talk thing like before i was a parent i was so like i thought it was so weird when people say like diapy or poo poo or pee pee and then now though like i'm learning about when you have a baby they're learning they're babbling a lot and you're supposed to narrate your day so you're supposed to say like i'm doing the dishes now or papa's doing the dishes now because you want them to learn the word papa that you're papa and also one of the speech people will say with babies like you just want to talk around them narrate your day narrate exactly what you're doing but then they're babbling so you're also sort of shortening words so like you're saying pee pee instead of urine like i'm not going to say oh did you urine in your diaper instead you say did you pee pee in your diaper but then you go around doing that and even when the baby's not around you're like saying like i gotta go pee pee when you're at the mall and it's like i hate myself for that because like i always thought of people when they were when they were talking baby talk and they weren't even with their babies i was like what are you doing and now i feel like i do that sometimes like i was at the mall with a friend i'm like i gotta go do pp and it's like i should not be saying i gotta go to pee pee but i understand now why i say it or why people do that so i'm trying to not do that i apologize if i do it on the podcast but i'm like oh i gotta order some more diapies kind of orders gotta get me some diapies okay so then they're all at the zoo danny's mad nia brought the baby and i was too to be honest with you that was one time i did side with danny was like sick of seeing these little ankle biters like getting the fuck off my show god bless and it is important and i hate to even say that because i know it's important also for nia to be showcasing that it's like for her going through postpartum and she's breastfeeding and she's she's showing the reality of that but it's a reality like i've had enough of like i don't know why i just don't want to see any more babies it's like enough i don't even feel like nia and danny really fit in with this cast at all to be honest the cast is really big i don't think anyone actually likes him except for kristen luke and so it's like get him out of here i know that's how i feel and also i just want better for nia maybe just get danny out of here but nia just wants danny to help the baby get on this safari truck and danny's like wow we got a babysitter and it's like just shut the fuck up and lift the stroller on the safari truck and help the nanny or the babysitter whatever the fuck you got to do like shut the fuck up and help with the baby like why does he always every time she like asks him do the most basic of things like can you hold the baby for two seconds or can you put the baby down tonight while i eat a sandwich because i need nutrients because i'm breastfeeding the baby all fucking day like why does every time she asks him to do one simple task and he can't he's got to complain about it or say like well why did we bring the nanny it's like well you know what just shut the fuck up and lift the basket into the safari truck so you and benji could go on the safari and see some giraffes god damn it it makes me pissed there's two trucks too they got two they can't fit the whole cast it is revealed too that elephants are pregnant for two years which was a lot and nia's nervous that the baby's too hot and i get that and daniel's like laughing at it she's like daniel why are you laughing i'm hot and your baby's hot so it's a lot for me to deal with and she's always like very calmly explaining like she's freaking out and going through anxiety and stress and everything and he's just like a nightmare but then nia starts fanning the baby and zach at one point offered the baby a diet coke that made me laugh like he genuinely was like nia said the baby's hot and like i'm worried about the baby and zach's like do you want this coke and everyone else the other frustrating thing about danny and nia is like the rest of the cast members are all uncomfortable around them like even jasmine pointed out in the safari she's like i gotta listen to these two bicker all the time and so i'm on the side of the truck or the bus or whatever and i'm talking about the rhinoceros that we're looking at because i'm just trying to like make conversation to to avert my eyes from those two idiots and so it's like i feel bad for the rest of the cast members who have to deal with danny and nia sucking the air out of every group retreat anyway lala tells michelle to go pull lacey aside and lala coaches michelle on how to be on reality tv because she's like you need to do this this and this be firm but tell her how you feel and then this is when michelle pulls lacy aside and it's like i was dropping up my daughter i saw a woman and and lacy sort of gets it i don't think these two will be friends but i hope that they're able to coexist and lacey says michelle has unresolved trauma and lacy's like i see a lot of therapists and i was like what do you mean you see a lot of therapists like i didn't know i guess you could see i i thought you always see just like one therapist i didn't think and i've been going to therapy for years and years and years but i didn't think maybe you change therapists right like if you don't like one maybe you've tried to find a new one but i never knew that you would see a lot of therapists like what did she mean by that she's like i see a lot of therapists i was like do you mean at the gym or something like what do you mean you see a lot of therapists don't you just see one for your appointment but maybe it's like one of those maybe lacey's actually ahead of the ball game on something because maybe that's one of those things that we all should be seeing multiple therapists get a few different opinions you know like that a weekly thing what if i just started having like three different therapists during my week and it's like yeah i meet with this one and then two days later i meet with this other one and i just hear them all out and just maybe you'd learn a lot more but let's see they move forward they make up they also do a group photo and nia announces they're doing a pageant and the men don't seem into it neo she says oh this is interesting they show a photo of nia as miss usa and this is such a reminder it hit me really hard because the whole episode and and perhaps for the whole past twenty two episodes or however many episodes the show has been on we've seen danny and nia seemingly be miserable even throughout them having more and more children it seems like their life they hate it right like they didn't want to move to santa clarita but they couldn't afford to live in the house they wanted near their friends and in an area of town that didn't look like a tim burton movie and so they move to santa clarita they keep having kids even though nia just says she's going through so much and wasn't sure and like what it seems like they're miserable like right they're miserable and so i think all of us you watch something like a miss usa or you see something like one of those pageant things and you think like oh those beautiful people they have everything like they have life is so easy for them right like they're so stunning she's one of the most beautiful people i've ever seen she literally miss usa and you think like i watch or i see someone like that i'm like god they must have it so easy they're so beautiful and then you watch this show and you think like oh actually it doesn't matter how beautiful you are you could still be miserable in life and i think that's an important lesson for us all yeah anyway they do get back to the house zach is late getting back at the house because he stopped for some four locos which was also very funny to me it's just like yeah they got four locos here and i was like scared he was going to give one to danny because did he give one to danny i don't know know danny says if this if they were doing a magic mic competition it would be game over in two seconds and i'm like because of why like what do you i think he was implying that like he's the hottest of all the guys and i just do not i do not subscribe to that and i i don't know that i even have an answer for who's hotter like because he does have a objectively good body and like even though he's very very petite i'd say he's very petite like he he's very petite remember the very first episode of this show when jax pantsed him and he had that shirt on that went below the knees it was like a nightgown on him and really it was just an average adult t shirt it was probably a size small or medium and yet it went down to his ankles like my mother's nightgown in the nineties remember remember those nightgowns that women used to wear from the kmart i remember going to a kmart and they just had like these giant oversized t shirts that go to the ankles and i was like that's what danny was wearing like when it wasn't tucked in so he's very petite but he's got a gorgeous body and if i were to not know anything about his personality be like oh he's cute but for him to just imply that he's the sexiest magic mike person here i was like absolutely not get out of here and i don't know who i'd rather see take off their clothes really any of them even though i'm not attracted to any of the other men on this show i still would rather see anyone else strip literally anyone else i guess luke is more attractive than danny right is he would i rather see him strip really any of them i'd rather see strip more than danny at this point because i don't care for that man i'd rather benji start taking off that safari outfit on screen than danny that's crazy zach though he's getting ready for this and he's got a breastplate they did send benji away i don't think he's even involved in this i don't think they're dressing him up as a woman he just went to take a nap and watch mama's family in the room like he was he was turning on cmt to put on some mama's family while the rest of this group was filming but zach's got the breastplate and kristen's dressing luke and they're having fun schwartz has done drag before he's obviously the ugliest woman we all know that but he puts on the cinderella dress and this is when danny's getting mean to nia and she says very calmly i feel like you're being critical and it's hard for me to function and she's even out of breath she's out of breath because she's she comes in the room he's mad that she's like late he's like everybody else is getting ready and like what are you doing and she's like well i just put the baby down breastfed the baby and i'm trying to she's literally out of breath from all she's doing because the baby was just sucking her off for nutrients and he's complaining that she wasn't there to do his makeup it's like how about you pick up the foundation and start powdering yourself sir okay put on your own rouge why does nia gotta do it watch a youtube video and start doing your own foundation okay we've we've all learned right we've all put on a makeup tutorial before in our time don't act like you haven't daniel buco or whatever fuck your last name is there's plenty of people on youtube who'll show you how to contour so you don't need your wife she's busy putting down your baby and keeping your baby alive by giving the baby nutrients so how about you stop complaining that she's not there to put on your mascara and you start learning how to do it yourself like why can't you do anything you dummy dumbass he makes you so mad like he's being so aggressive and disrespectful and he is horrified on because it's all happening on camera and lala is just standing there she says she's triggered because she's standing there in her crew socks just watching it you know i was cracking up at lala just like staring away like she was like ready to pounce just across the across the way just through the hallway she was far away but she was listening she was clocking into work she's like you know what i'm clocking in and i'm gonna clock that ass so she was watching it all and danny lala comes and yells at danny and danny tells nia not to let talk to him like that and he is like well she was just saying what i i wanted to say and then danny mocks lala for being triggered and this is when she's like knock it

[A]

off dog make it go pop pop

[B]

pop she's like you're passive aggressive i'm just aggressive you're being disrespectful to your wife i got a brain and two eyes and ears i see you and you got the wrong bitch she said and she says i would hate to see how you talk to her behind closed doors which is what i always say about these shows is like if that's how someone's talking to their wife on camera it's much worse off camera because they know they're mic'd up and on camera and the audience already hates the way that they talk to their wife right like the audience has already told daniel we don't care for the way you talk to your wife in the past seasons not even this season in past seasons other cast members and the audience has said and i'm pretty sure danny and nia have acknowledged it as well at the reunions so even after all that you're still talking to them on camera like this it must be worse off camera and even if it's not worse off camera it's still fucked up like just he's still just so and truly like this episode more than ever i was noticing the way that nia was responding to him and i keep saying calm cool and collected and she was being very clear and i'm she saying like i'm very anxious right now and you're stressing me out or like her wording was always very clear calm she would take a breath she was relaxed and saying it in the calmest way possible and to me i thought like that was what a therapist would say like if you're upset with your significant other i would think a therapist would say try to calmly explain if it's not working when you're explaining it in heightened emotion maybe try to take a breath and then explain it in clear terms and yet danny still was like not getting any of it like such a idiot anyway that's the end of the episode that daniel he should have get out of here he should just get out of here i'm out of him i'm so mad at him that's crazy thank you all so much for listening we'll be back next week with our summer house recap it's the summer house finale next week as well as the in the city premiere and then we're also gonna keep continuing to cover the valley and i know a lot of people are asking why i'm not covering in the housewives and i'm loving atlanta this season i'm a few behind on rhode island although i know everyone loves it i've heard only good things but it's too it's hard for me to keep up with all this stuff so i apologize that we're not covering any housewives at the moment the last one we did i think was potomac but i am loving atlanta this season and what else beverly hills just wrapped up and rhode island i don't know how many episodes they have left but i'm excited for rhode island to like i behind a couple and i'm like i'm gonna save them to binge them all at once because i feel like that'll be more fun especially we're not covering it on the podcast so i was like okay i'm gonna just save them and binge them but two shows is my limit that's my limit and i try to go where my heart goes and i think my heart's gonna go on in the city because there's so much going on with summer house and i've had a good time recapping so we're gonna move to in the city and the valley that's where we're gonna be going that's the future much like whitney had said the children are the future i believe the children are the future i'm sorry for singing i love you all so much for listening find me on social media ani pellegrino get my books wherever books are sold or the audiobooks and patreon if you want sex and the city recaps you can go to the website patreon dot com everythingiconic for dollar four or more per month you get access to those bonus episodes i do just one a month over there and yeah i bid you ado have a good weekend and a good rest of your week love you all howdy howdy ho and welcome to fantasy fan fellas i'm hayden producer of the fantasy fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things sanderson and i'm stephen your bookish internet goofball but you can call me the smash daddy and we are currently deep diving brandon sanderson's fantasy epic mistborn but here's the catch steven here has not read mistborn before that's right hei hei so each week you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chapter and along the way we'll do character deep dives magic explainers and steven will even try to guess what's next spoiler alert he'll be wrong news flash i'm never wrong episodes come out every wednesday and you can find fantasy fanfellas wherever you get your podcasts acast powers the world's best podcasts here's a show that we recommend

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raise your hands to the sky all you have to do is try there's no turning back no no it's all in front of you there's no turning back no no it's only up to you i am definitely getting my sparkle back