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Leadership used to mean having all the answers, but today's best leaders embody a more human approach. I'm Jack Myers. And I'm Tim Spangler. Tim and I have spent our careers inside media, marketing and culture and we partnered with the ACAST Creator Network to start Lead Human to answer one simple question. What does it really look like to lead in this AI dominated world? The biggest tip for being a creator? It's a job. What I learned from Michael Jackson Here's a man who understands precision. It's about answering the questions that are hard, not about answering a bunch of teed up questions that are fake. What we're looking for are real stories and practical advice that you can use with your teams right away. Subscribe to Lead Human with Jack Myers and Tim Spengler wherever you get your podcasts. Does your day move faster than you can keep up with new Gatorade Lower Sugar? My family and I can stay at the top of our game. No artificial flavors, sweeteners or colors. 75% less sugar and all the electrolytes of regular Gatorade now available nationwide. This episode is sponsored by Tumi, the international travel, lifestyle and accessories brand. Tumi invites you to break away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life with its Mediterranean Escape Collection. Inspired by the calm of the coast, the rhythm of the tide, and the ease of uninterrupted travel. Featuring sun, faded pink clay, refreshing washed yellow and lush thyme, the collection captures the serenity and simplicity of a coastal escape. But it's not just about esthetics. Tumi is built on legacy of signature durability and performance. Each silhouette is masterfully crafted with premium materials and engineered functionality. Designed for seamless travel, Thoughtful compartments, smooth glide zippers, and purposeful design details make packing, commuting and traveling feel effortless. The Mediterranean Escape Collection blends the spirit of coastal relaxation with the precision and innovation. Tumi is known for timeless style, elevated performance, and pieces built to last. So explore the Mediterranean escape collection@tumi.com or in store. Hi, how are you? Congratulations on the baby. Thank you. Baby's good. How are you doing? Good. Good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Good. Yeah. I know today's been awkward. Yeah. If there's anything you want to say or like get off your chest, I'm happy to listen. Nothing. Crickets. Hello everyone. Welcome to Everything Iconic with me, Danny Pellegrino. That was a clip from this week's episode of the Valley. It's episode two of the season. The episode was titled Snip Snip because Danny's about to get his little vasectomy. I'm happy he is because Neil was trying to explain to him how fucking tired she is. Because they got the four under four, they're in Santa Clarita, away from their village, their peoples, and he's talking about having another son because he's like, oh, brother, for my son or something. And it's like, Danny, enough is enough. I'm so glad she. I don't know who made the appointment for the vasectomy. The urologist. But the urologist needs to go in there with some scissors or whatever, however they do it. I don't know. I wasn't paying attention during that scene, but I did like that during that scene, Zach was there with like a Big Gulp or it was like a big Ass. Zach, for some reason went to the urologist with Danny, which, when you really think about it, obviously, like, this is a TV show, it's reality tv. It's set up and everything. But, like, there's no world in which Zach would go to the urologist with Danny to get his vasectomy consult. Like, it was so bizarre to me. But that's what I loved about it. That was what made it so. I mean, they're really pairing up Zach with every person on this cast. It's like, let's see who Zach really pops with. And the truth is that gay man pops with everybody he's in a scene with. Because he had a scene last week with Shorts where I was shipping the two of them. Then this week he gets on a Goes to that plane bar with Jesse, and then he goes with Danny to get the vasectomy. And so look, we thought Zach, when he was. Came in, came on the scene that he was just gonna be in scenes with Brittany because that was his longtime friend, or maybe Kristen, because they've been friends, but now they're like, let's pair up Zach with everybody because he makes all the other ones pop. In the words of Lala. And Lala too, I'm kind of liking. This is controversial. This is going to get me in trouble. But I'm kind of liking Lala on the show. That's right. That's right. I like that she was flirting with the. She was flirting with that lifeguard. She was. She was feeling him. She was feeling him. There ain't nobody that I'm feeling more than you, boy. So let's keep it moving. She was ready to go pop, pop, pop till her pants go drop, drop, drop. Now, I did take the pop, pop, pop part off. The soundboard, because I did get. A lot of people were not only mad that I keep playing it, which I understand. Like, I could run a bit into the ground. I get that. But also it's getting too in people's heads because it's like a vocal stim for all of us now. And so I did just tempt. It'll be back. Don't worry. It'll be probably next week or something. And to be honest with you, maybe mid episode. I don't know. I don't know how long. I can not play that. But I did like Lala trying to flirt with the lifeguard. I was into that. And so. And Schwartz, too. Shorts in the sound bath with Michelle. Although I do think the whole thing with Michelle, they're trying to pretend like those two are flirting. And it's obviously just for the show. Before we get more into the Valley, though, I do have to briefly mention on the Summer House recap, I did not get a chance to talk about in the City. The trailer came out for the spin off from Summerhouse. It's called in the City. And we finally got a trailer, a sneak peek at the season. It's going to be airing right after the Summer House finale, as I said. So it's going to go right in from the finale into the new episode of in the City. And we got to see a look at the cast members. Now we got not only do we have Hubbard, Amanda and Kyle, who we're all familiar with, we also get Andrea, who of course is the love of all of our lives. I mean, that hot man, it was shocking to me and really to the world at large that they got rid of him because he's so attractive. Obviously was in a Taylor Swift video. I think he. Did he fuck Madonna or something? I don't know if I heard that on Watch what Happens Live. I don't know. But he is a star. And by star, I mean someone that we all want to look at. And he also seems like a nice fella. And obviously there was a sliding doors moment where him and Paige had a relationship. And then Paige chose Craig over him, which love my gal. Love my Italian sister Paige. But that was a mistake because he was getting. Andrea was getting her coffee every morning. He's obviously the most attractive person we've all ever seen. Or one of them. You know, he's very attractive. Anyway, so he's going to be on in the City with his new paramour. And then we also have an appearance from Danielle gonna say something also controversial that I know A lot of you are gonna give me heat for. But I was actually thinking that Danielle, at least from the trailer, I get why Danielle is there. Because it seems like her relationship. She's gonna be a mess. She's gonna be a mess. And, like, we need that for tv. So I know that a lot of people, at least the people I heard from a recession, a lot of people are saying, ugh, Danielle, what are we doing with Danielle? Ugh. And believe you me, I was saving that. I was saying that on the Summer House recaps. Was I wrong? No. We were getting tired of Danielle was. Yeah. It was exhausting when she was on Summer House, and perhaps it'll be exhausting when she's on in the City, but at least from the trailer, I'm like, oh, it looks like Danielle's got a lot of mess there with significant other Ian getting in the mix. And then who else? Do we have any other familiar faces? Oh, no. But you know who does show up is West. That's right. West. There's, like, one quick little clip. Obviously, the scandal happened, but there's a quick little clip of him doing a scene with Amanda. And he walks in, he's like, mandy or whatever. I don't know if he said it like that, but it's like, mandy. And I'm like, who the fuck is Mandy? Mandy Moore's not in this cast. I know. That's right. She's busy doing actual prestige tv. And by prestige tv, I mean a podcast about this is Us. I don't know what else she's doing, but I love Mason. Mandy Moore. Do love her. And I will jump in front of a bus for Ms. Mandy Moore. I'm missing her like candy on my TV screen. So hopefully she's working on something. I think she's doing a movie or something. I don't know. But the point is, Amanda is no Mandy Moore. And so I will not have this Mandy slander on my screen, seeing Amanda and West. And west coming in. Mandy. Mandy. Mandy. Mandy. Anyway, it looks like great tv. I can't wait. I do have to point out, though, there's 100 cast members on the show, and I. I appreciate that Bravo is doing this new thing where it's like, we're not getting small casts. Like, I don't like when there's just, like, four people on a cast. However, it seems like now they're doing per episode. This is my guess. I don't know this to be true, but my guess is that they're the contracts for these cast members. Are more per episode. Now we're even seeing that with Summer House where it's like certain people aren't in certain episodes, right? There might be a flashback or something, but for the most part, there's people who take off different episodes. So it's like Bailey's gone for an episode, Carl's gone for an episode, Linda Lindsay's gone for two. And I take that as they're not getting a full season pay, so they're getting a per episode contract, meaning they get paid each episode they're in. And if they're not in an episode, they're not getting paid. And so that allows them to have more maybe technically full time cast members, even though there's people taking off an episode or two throughout the season. And so in the city, it looks like there's 100 people there. And I'd imagine they're not all going to be in every episode because it's like, how can you. I can't keep up with all those people. Even the group shot, which these group shots, look, I hate to keep complaining, but even like the group shots, like the poster shots and stuff, they're all feeling very AI to me now. It's like I don't even know if they're even filming these people or if they're just putting into chat GPT. Like, hey, do an image of all these cast members because they don't even look like human anymore. Is that at anyone else finding that in these pictures, these promo shots of the cast, they're definitely not all seated together or together. And if they are, if I'm wrong about this, then I hope that somebody from Bravo HQ can release some behind the scenes footage of them all sitting down together in a group shot. Because I don't buy that they're all there for a group shot. I'm seeing too many of them where it looks like they're just cartoon characters at this point because none of them even look real. And so I'm like, are they just doing individual shots and then they're pasting them all together? I don't know, but I don't like it. They need to invest more in that, loosen up the purse strings a little bit and make it happen. And if you gotta do, if you gotta get a sponsor on board, like if they all have to hold lay's potato chips or some shit like that for us to get some money in the budget so that they're all in a group shot together, so be it. Like, I'd be okay with that as long as we get them all together, because I don't like these promo shots. The other thing that I wanna point out is they're doing, like, a fall color scheme because obviously the idea of it is, like, leaving Summ. You're going into fall. And I like that. And so I'm a. I'm a fall myself. I like fall. I'm not a big summer person. I like fall. I like Christmas. And then really from January to about September, I lose all interest in life. I'm basically dead inside from January until September. And so I do appreciate that they're in fall colors. So I'm excited about the new. The new series in the City. I'm not really sold on the title in the City, if I'm being honest. I thought that was a working title, and then I think they accidentally just stuck with it. But I don't even know if they like it because when it first came out, it was like, working. Everybody kept saying, in the City, working title. And so we all thought, oh, that was a shitty title. Like, they're gonna figure something better out. And then they just gave up, probably because there's no money in the budget. They can even get them all in a room for a promo shot. So calls it as a season. Okay, so that's in the City. Let's talk about the Valley. Snip, snip. We open with Danny and Nia swimming with the kids. They got 100 kids. Tom with the brother, Burt Schwartz. I'm liking you guys. I'm liking Schwartz. I find him refreshing without Sandoval, because his personal. Everything about Schwartz gets lost when he's with Sandoval. And so, although sometimes that relationship is funny, it's actually nice to see him just without. Just like, yeah, I want to see Schwartz. What's he like in his day to day? Like, because how does he get by? For the longest time, it felt like, how does. It was like Sandoval is guiding him through life, which is the last person you want to guide you through life. I'd rather have a. I don't know, a stick or something like guide me through life than Tom Sandoval. Because there's no way that that man, that demon over there should have been guiding Schwartz through life. And so Schwartz's whole personality got swept away in Sandoval and Katie to some extent, too. Because it was like always, who is this person? It was similar to what I kept saying about Amanda. It's like she kept getting swept away with Kyle. And now it's like Schwartz kept getting swept away with the people he was around. And so on the Valley now he doesn't have Katie or Sandoval, so we're getting to see a little bit of who this person is. And it's only two episodes so by the end of the season I might say get rid of him, but for now I'm into it. And he's got his brother Bert. He's there in a scene at the opening of the episode. He says he wants a baby. Baby. A baby. Then we cut to Kristen and Luke who are feeding their baby and they talk about Schwartz and Michelle flirting, which is again obviously a thing production made up like and I think also production told Kristen and Luke like, hey, can you guys talk about Schwartz and Michelle? Even though we all know it's fake. Like we all know this isn't a thing, but we're pretending at least by episode 3 we better be done pretending about the Michelle and Schwartz fiddle because I don't actually think it's a thing. But Kristen and Luke reveal that Lala's having one year old birthday party for Sosa. And this is where Luke really pisses me off because he's like, I feel like we've been neglecting our relationship. He says to Kristen we haven't had time to us without the baby around. And he suggests a babysitter. He's like, we could just drop the baby off at Brittany's house. And Kristin's like, what do you mean? What the fuck? Like they're only. The baby's only three months old too. And Luke says that intimacy is an issue. And again I just say like, Luke, go rub one out. Like go do it. Go stick something up your butt and rub one out. Somebody had to shove it up their butthole for him to get it. Like shove it up your butthole to get it. In the words of Brittney Cartwright, like, whatever you gotta do to stop buggin. Kristen, who just had a baby, pushed a baby out three months ago. And I'm so, I don't know, like, and I can't imagine, like obviously I don't know what it's like to birth a baby. But even as someone who has a baby that I didn't birth in like three months, it's like everybody's tired. You're so tired you're running. And the mom, I don't know if Kristen, I don't know if she's formula feeding or what, but you have by three months you're still waking up every couple of hours with the baby to feed the baby. So you're not really getting uninterrupted sleep for more than three hours or something unless I don't know if they had a baby, a night person, a night nurse or whatever they call it night nanny. And so it's like, she's fucking tired. And you should be too Luke if you're not. I like Luke, but it's like he should be sleepy too. Go take a nap. Go rub one out and take a nap. And I feel like he's just given her so much grief about it. And she's like, I don't even feel comfortable. And even the therapist, too. I'm pissed at Kristen's therapist too. I got a bone to pick with that therapist because nothing gnaws at my crawl more than a therapist giving some badass advice. And so I don't know who Kristin's seeing, but Kristen's therapist told her, take 15 minutes out of the day to fucking Luke. But she's like, my head's not there. And Luke is like, oh, happy parents make happy babies. And then it's like, well, maybe if you want a happy wife, then maybe you stop trying to fuck her when she's telling you she's not in the mood right now. Go do something else. Go watch some porn. Isn't pornhub free these days like Luke and the other one too. I feel this way about Danny. They got a hundred kids running around. You think Nia wants to have sex with you right now? Who wants to have sex with that little. That. That Danny fella? When they got four under four, they're ti. Everybody should be tired. Go take naps. And the therapist like, what's Kristen's therapist telling her to take 15. What kind of advice is that? Kristin said, the therapist told me to go. I was shouting at the screen. Rotten hill. Rotten Hill. Rotten Hill. Kristen's therapist. I would like. I hope Kristen's therapist isn't one of those, like, Bravo therapists that's like, fake for camera in an episode or two. We're going to all of a sudden meet that therapist because I'm pissed that I'm on Kristen's side. Get behind me, Kristen. Then we cut to Brittany's house. Brittany's got a sensory room, which was so. That made me so happy. She said she got everything for cruise's therapies and I think Britney's. I wrote my notes. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. Although then immediately she gave the kid the iPad, which I'm not. I'm not judging. I'm not Judging everyone's got to do what they got to do. You know, it's hard, it's hard up there. But she. The sensory room was so nice. And yeah, there was a plate, there was a sign that said play in there. And it's just like everywhere you look there's word art in that house. But Zach arrives and this is when Brittany's like here, cruise, take it. You've been drumming at the park all day so go take your iPad and go over there. But then Cruz runs up to Zach, is like Zach. And it was so nice and sweet because Britney says Cruz is able to be more comfortable now that Jax's negative energy isn't around the house. And so Cruz, they were so excited that he said Zach. And that was so nice. It was so nice. And Zach tells, Speaking of kids tells Britt Bananas that Benji wants kids and is starting to call agencies. But they're as they talk about surrogacy. Surrogacy is really expensive and Zach hasn't exactly seen himself with kids so he has to get there. But he said it's a non negotiable for Benji. Benji wants some little Benji's. Wasn't there a movie? Remember that dog movie named Benji or was it Bingo? No, it's Benji, right? Wasn't there. There was a dog movie from like the 80s. Maybe it. Was it a book series or something? Benji, you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, that's not the Benji I'm talking about. It's not the Benji I mean. But Benji is calling the agencies and look, Zach is more concerned with Brittany because Brittany's got this Brandon fella who she's going into. It's getting a little too serious because she, she just got out of the relationship with Jax. Even though Britney says she's been single for two years, she hasn't really been single for two years and she's not even officially divorced yet because Jax doesn't want to file paperwork. That demon is just string her along. I don't know what he's up to, but I hope he's getting well, it sounds like he's not because I saw that. I don't know if it was the after show or I saw some interview and they were basically like, oh, Jax is still a demon even though he's not on this program. So I hope they don't bring him back. I'm nervous about it. I get nervous at nighttime. But Zach tells Brittany that he's happy. She's like getting fucked good by this Brandon fella. But that it's moving too fast because the Brandon guy Zach says has. What did he say? Two babies with other moms and manipulates Britney and Will. What did he say? There's too many red flags. He said he's like Jax. And if Zach is saying he's like Jax, then, Brittany, you need to run the other way. Like, I know she said she knew this guy before Jax, but, gosh, how do I say this nicely? I don't trust Britney's picker. And so she needs to just do the opposite of whether whatever her heart is telling her. Do you know what I mean? Like, you know how people say, like, listen to your heart? What? There was a whole song about it. Listen to your heart. And I say, don't listen to your heart, Brittany. Like, you need to listen to actually the opposite of your heart. So I think, Brittany, a good rule of thumb for you if you're listening to this podcast and God bless, I love you, Brit. Do. I do. But I would say, like, listen to your heart and then do the opposite of it. That's my advice. And look, I'm no expert. I'm just here to give my opinion on a microphone. But I'm a dummy. But I do think you should do the exact opposite. Because if your heart is telling you this Brandon fella is a good thing, I don't trust it, and neither does Zach. And the gays always know. The gays around you will know. They'll say, girl, girl, girl. What are you doing? Girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl. That's what they'll say to you. And you need to know that means they get out of your relationship immediately. That's what that girl means. It's like, whatever relationship you're in run the other direction. And so Zack knows he's got the power of gay within and perhaps Benji in him at times. Who's to say somebody had to shove it up their butthole for him to get it? I'm not one to judge, but I am saying that Zach knows. And so, Britt, you need to leave that relationship with Brandon. He's being a good friend, and Brit wants him to back off. And I'm like, brit, no, you got to listen to your gay friend. He knows girl. Okay, so then we get to Lala's house. She's got a cute setup for the baby's birthday. And it's a lot of stuff where, you know, we're talking about our son is 10 months and we're talking about the first birthday and we're not doing like a big party or anything. Maybe if anything just some family meat, like pizza and a yellow box cake, you know, like that's the Midwest in me is coming out. Because there is a lot of this pressure especially. I don't know if it's probably. It's everywhere, but even on. Yeah, it's everywhere. I see on TikTok, on social media. It's like the way that people do these first birthday parties. I feel like a lot of pressure to do something big and outrageous and expensive and partying gifts and chefs and dessert tables and bouncy houses and all that stuff. And it's nice, I guess it's nice for the parents who have maybe older kids and stuff. But it does feel like a lot of pressure. I'm like, are we supposed to be throwing like a 10k thousand dollar birthday party for a 1 year old? Like he, my son don't even know what the fuck's going on. So what are we going to do? I'm going to get a bouncy house. I don't want them bouncing in no houses. I barely want them bouncing in our house, let alone I'm gonna blow one up in the backyard for his first birthday party. I don't trust it. He's a. My son's a little wreck at Ralph. He'll be falling and jumping and falling and I. Yeah, when he's older. But at one years old it makes me nervous. Maybe like two or you know, when they're a little older, I'm like, say go in the bounce house and bounce your brains out and get tired so you go take a nap. But at one it makes me nervous. You know, Matt, my husband, is better about jumping with the baby. I'm not. I get nervous even when Matt's like kind of throwing him up or before his naps or bed Matt, I'll throw him around to kind of tire him out. And like stresses me out. The one day I was like kind of at my limits. Like my, I was at sensory overload. And Matt started doing it in front of me and I was like, I have to leave the room. And I just like threw a big fit. It was like a big fit. It was early on and I know the baby was younger, but I was like, I can't watch this. It was stressing me out and everything. You're already on sensory overload. But I'm happy that Lala, she's got a cute setup and she's flirting with the 38 year old lifeguard and she's trying to make her panties go drop, drop, drop. Because when she saw that lifeguard she was going pop, pop, pop. And so that's what was going on. And I supported that, even though I also think that was just like her acting for the show. Like, I don't, I hate to give her, I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but the truth is I think Lala was like, I need to do some fun stuff for the audience. And so she did that. But I don't know if she really was, I don't know. But the lifeguard was hot, so maybe, I don't know, maybe she was going pop, pop, pop. Then let's see, everybody's arriving to the birthday party. Janet and Jason, their, their son's adorable. What's their son's name? They all have babies and yeah, Janet and Jason, we saw a quick little glimpse of their kid and it's awkward with Janet and Nia and Kristen and I. Look, I keep wondering when the tides are going to turn for Janet and maybe like the audience will come around, but I don't know if it'll ever happen. Like they do not the people. When I say they, I mean like the cast members in the audience does not like Janet. Oh, good. Yeah. But yeah, I do not like you, Janet. I do not like. And I don't know, I don't. I keep thinking every single week it's almost become a game for me. Like I, I actually think that's the kind of like what I get most out of the Valley at this point is like wondering when. Because statistically a reality TV show, they very rarely. You can think of the biggest monsters in reality TV history. Eventually they get a good edit. Like eventually, Jax is Tom Sandoval. Get up good at it. Jax. In the history of all these shows, like there's comes a point in time where they all get a good edit. Even the biggest villains, the most obvious villains, they'll eventually get some sort of good. Even if it's just for one episode. They'll get a good edit. They'll get where they look silly or funny or whatever. And I'm like, this has become a game now for me. When I watch the Valley, I'm like, when's Janet going to get a good edit? Or when are the people going to. And maybe never. It's. Maybe the editors are making it. Maybe that's a game for them to remember that long time ago when it was during COVID when it came to light, that like, one of the editors was fucking with Sheena and like, just editing Sheena bad or something. I forget what that whole story was, so you gotta go look it up. But I remember. And then like, Sheena found out and she's like, what the fuck? Like, what do you. What do you mean? They're just like constantly editing me look like a dummy. Not that they always have to work hard for that either, by the way. And we like when they edit them to look like dummies. It's fun. But yeah, it's become a game of like, is will Janet ever get a good edit? And let's see. Tom and Michelle, they're sitting and talking. Schwartz calls her a MILF again, pretending to flirt for the storyline. Now, Danny and Nia, we do get to learn a little bit about them. They met at church. Danny says he loves to serve and be faithful. He said God served Nia on a platter. Rotten hill. I'm sorry, I don't. Danny seems like he means well and. But does he? I don't know. Cut to Kristen and Brittany. Kristen, I have to point out, I don't know what the fuck they were talking about. It was Kristen and Brittany. They're at Lala's house for the first birthday party and they had some sort of buffet situation set up. It looked like tacos. Some of them had burritos. Now, Kristen had a burrito and they kept showing close ups of this because Kristen was using a fork for her burrito and it was a plastic fork. Now for. I don't even know where to begin if you're driving pullover, because we got to talk about this for at least 75 minutes. Because Kristen eating that burrito with the plastic fork, I was like a part of the plastic fork. Those plastic forks are cheap as shit. And you know, you sit down to eat one of those at a party and one of those little pieces of the plastic fork will go inevitably break off into your food. And when you're doing it with the burrito, like she was, she was stabbing the middle of the burrito with a plastic fork. I was like, there's definitely pieces of plastic fork in that burrito by the end of that burrito. Second of all, and look, I'm someone who's constantly said, you know, I've mentioned this on the podcast before, like, I don't think I'd be willing to eat on camera if I'm on a reality show. At least I'd have to be very careful about what it is. So you bet your bottom dollar That I wouldn't be eating a burrito on camera. And I think Kristin had an existential crisis when she was. When she got that burrito, because she probably wanted the burrito. And then she sat down, she's like, how the fuck am I gonna eat this on camera? And she's got to have a conversation with. Was it Brittany? And, you know, producers were like, hey, we need you to go sit down with Brittany. Have this conversation about X, Y, and Z. Kristin just got the burrito. Maybe she didn't have a lot of time there. She knew the baby was three months old, so they're gonna have to take a nap in a half hour or whatever. So she knew she didn't have much time. And so she's like, thinking, I gotta eat this burrito on camera. Maybe I'll do a plastic fork. And seeing someone eat a burrito with a plastic fork was just too much. It felt very dystopian. That actually felt AI to me. It didn't feel real. It felt like. You know how when you see those videos of AI and they're, like, a little bit off, that's how I felt. It was like, what are you doing with this plastic fork and the burrito? And again, I. I don't know how she was supposed to eat that. I would have wrapped it in a napkin, I think, and took it to go. I'd have been like, luke, put this in your purse. Or I don't. Not that Luke. Not that Luke has a purse. I guess, like, Luke, put this in the diaper bag. Throw this in the diaper bag. We're taking it home. That's what I would have done. You know, my grandma. My Grandma Rose, my fav. She made. She recipes, but she used to wrap everything in a napkin. No matter where she'd go, she'd go to a restaurant. She'd go to someone's bar, birthday party, anniversary party. Didn't matter where she was. She would always have, like, plastic bags, tin foil, Saran Wrap to go stuff in her purse. And she carried a little purse. It wasn't like she carried a book bag around with her. But Grandma Rose always had the supplies to take something to go. And so I learned that from her. It's like you always be on the ready to take something to go when you're home later because you might want a snack. And she would do it if. I mean, it didn't matter what it was. If she was at a restaurant and there were rolls. If there was, like, a roll leftover, she was putting that in wrapping it in a napkin and putting it in the. She might want to later. And she was smart and she was thrifty. And so I wish Kristin would have wrapped up that burrito and taken it to go. You know, I just had a burrito from. Should I even say their name? I was thinking I hadn't had a Chipotle burrito in a long time. And so the other day, like a few days ago, I went and it's been a long time. So I admittedly haven't been there in ages, but I just was craving one. And you guys, it's so expensive now and I hate to just keep complaining about things. Although what else is this podcast for if it's not for me complaining about the price of chipotle. But it is. It does feel like everything's just getting like I got. I don't know. It did taste good. Okay, so where are we at here? Kristin eating the burrito with the fork? Yeah. So I wonder, did she finish it? I don't know. I would have told the camera guys, maybe just like, turn around. Like, turn the camera around, let me take a bite and then you can resume filming. Anyway, let's take a break here and then we're going to talk about how Schwartz was playing fetch with Cruz. Thank you to Acast and we'll be right back. 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And the shows have such a weird, I don't know, weird. There's so many weird intricacies to all these shows that are, like, so Bravo. We always talk about the Bravo wink. Do you know what that is? Where it's like, Bravo's got that wink where. Wink to the audience. The editors sort of wink to the audience. We always mentioned earlier in the episode, we were talking about how the editors can make us laugh by kind of making fun of some of the cast members. And the other shows on the other networks, they have tried to do their version of the Bravo wink or whatever, but nobody can do what Bravo does. This whole network is so stupid in the best of ways. And I mean that as a compliment. I mean stupid in a stupid, fun way. But. But, yeah, I just. I love that we get to watch all these idiots, and God bless them, and we're all idiots for watching them, too, by the way. So I'm not trying to. We're just as dumb as they are, to be honest. Probably dumber, because we're all. At least they're getting a paycheck. They're getting paid to be on camera, and we're just watching them be idiots. And so maybe we're the dumb ones. Moving on. Schwartz is playing fetch with Cruz, and they even called it out through, like, shorts. And earlier in the episode, he said he wanted to be a dad. Think later, too. And I. My controversial opinion, and I have said this during one of the Vanderpump recaps, is I do think that Schwartz would make a good dad. I think he'd be a good dad, unfortunately, I do think that. But he definitely needs, like, a significant other that is going to be the more stern parent. You know what I'm saying? Like, he would be a good, fun, playful dad. And I think He. I don't know. I hate to give him too much credit. I feel like I'm complimenting Schwartz too much this episode. But it's my truth, and I gotta come on the microphone. If nothing else, I gotta be truthful with you all. And again, I remind us all that our opinions are going to change every five minutes. And that's all right. That's all right as viewers of this insane network. Then we cut to Jasmine and Janet. Janet apologizes to Jasmine again, and she keeps talking about how she started therapy. She is saying a lot. Like, I feel like every time Janet's on screen, she's like, well, I started therapy. And yet every time she's in a scene with someone, they're like, it doesn't seem like you started therapy. Or like, then she's in a scene with someone. Then it cuts to their confessional. It's like Nia or Jasmine or Danny or whoever. Then they're in their confessional, like, oh, she says she started therapy, but I don't see it. I don't see it. I don't know. I don't see it. Oh, good. Yeah. But, yeah, they do not like you. But she did apologize. Jasmine might not invite Janet to the wedding. I do want Janet and Jasmine to make up because it seemed like they. If nothing else, Jasmine says she was really close to. To Janet's husband. Why can't I think of his name all of a sudden? Why did I just blank on these names? Janet and Jason. You know, sometimes my head goes out the window. It goes right out the window. Flies right out the window. Okay, there was a brief moment. I do want to mention Lala. She was holding Sosa. And look, Sosa just turned 1 years old. And there was a very. It was a very quick little cutaway of Lala teaching Sosa to do a pop, pop, pop, like, gun sign with her fingers. And look, I know you're supposed to teach communication to the. To the babies. I understand. You're supposed to show them. They say, do the sign language, but I don't know if that's what they mean with baby Sign language is like, to show them how to do a gun sign with their fingers and go, pop, pop, pop. And. And what's next? Is she gonna teach Sosa how to make the panties go drop, drop, drop. There ain't nobody that I'm feeling more than you, boy so let's keep it moving. Make it go pop, pop, pop until my panties go drop, drop, drop. I'm so sorry, you guys. I know people are Going to write me bad reviews about that. I know it. I know it. I'm sorry, you guys. I play. I play things I beat a bit into the ground. I know that about myself. And so you don't need to. You don't need to leave me a bad review that I'm playing that sound bite too much. I get it. I know that. I'm aware. I'm self aware enough to know that that's not going to go over well. But I can't help it. It's like a. I'm like a child. I have this soundboard in front of me and I'm like a child where it's just when I hit the buttons. It's like when a little kid gets on an elevator and they just want to hit all the buttons. It's like that. I can't. I can't stop myself. Sometimes I'll think in my head, don't hit it again, Danny. Don't press the button again. Talk about the show. Don't press the button again. And then it's like my hand just goes over the button. I can't help that. I can't help it. It's my truth. I get up. Then we cut to Janet and Michelle and Brittany. And one of the kids had Dolce and Gabbana shoe for one of the Bebes. I don't know, you know, the designer clothes for the babies. It's a weird thing to me, too, because they grow out of stuff so quickly. And you look at. I just went to Bloomingdale's the other day, and it's like the Ralph Lauren clothes for boys or babies. I really like it all. But then you look at the price tag. I'm like, wait, I'm not gonna spend $125 on, like, a sweatshirt for my son who's 10 months old, and it's going to grow out of it in a week. Like, I can't even. I don't even care how rich I was. I don't know that I could justify that. You know, a housewife did. I will have to say, though, even though I can't justify it, it's like a gift. It's a great thing. And I. A housewife did send. When my son was born, a housewife sent a Moncler jumpsuit. And it was the best, nicest gift because, A, it came from a real housewife, and B, it was like something I would never buy, but it was like a nice gift. So I think actually, like, those kind of fancy designer stuff, it's like, as a gift. Maybe it makes sense, but I could never justify it as a. Any other way. Anyway, then we cut to Zach and Jesse. So they weren't invited. I don't. For some reason, they weren't invited to the baby party. I know why Jesse wasn't, but, like, why was Zach not invited to Sosa's birthday party? Is it homophobia? And I'm just starting that rumor. That's not true. I don't think it's true, but maybe we should start that rumor. No, we shouldn't. We shouldn't. And where's Benji? Where's Benji been at? Where's Benji? Of course I'm talking about Zach's Benji, not the. The dog Benji. But I would also like to know where the Benji dog is, too, because it came up early in the episode. And I'm thinking, like, Benji was a hot property back in the 80s, wasn't it? So, like, why haven't they rebooted that? Where's that IP been? I don't know. Then we. Okay, so Zach and Jesse are. They're in this Aviator bar, question mark, which is like a plane. It's. So it's like a bar that's designed like a plane. So you go in and you sit down. They give you, like, you give them, like, a plane ticket. What's going on? Is this why everything's closing these days? Like, I don't know why. I don't. Who wants to be up in the air anyway? Like, I don't want to be drinking if I'm up on a plane. Like, I'm having a drink because I'm stuck up in the air on a plane. I don't want to be on ground level and then go into bars that are like planes. Like, I don't even want to be on a plane when I'm flying somewhere. So why the fuck would I want to be on a plane when I'm on the ground on a night out? It's like, shouldn't the bars be designed after places we want to be in? So, like, I don't know, design a bar that's like a water park or, I don't know, what's another place we all like somewhere? Not a plane. Nobody wants to be in a fucking plane. So why are we designing a bar on the ground that looks like a plane? What are we doing? What are we doing? Who owns that? Whose idea was that? And I'm sorry if they're a listener to this show, but you need to get back to the drawing board and come up with some new plans because I don't think that's gonna last. We can barely keep these restaurants open as it is. And so if anything, I'm just trying to look out for the restaurant industry because then these places close and everybody thinks, oh, the restaurant industry is failing. But maybe if we started getting more creative and not having plain bars, then we could do something. I think there was one. I once went to a Christmas theme bar. It was like a year round Christmas theme bar. And I thought that's what we need, that's what we should be doing. That plain bar, they need to turn into a winner Wonderland. Because I would go there. If I here in la, in the Valley, I would go right to the Christmas bar. If they had Santa there year round, some Hawkeye and red velvet that I could sit on his lap, I'd pay upwards of 25 a drink for a cocktail. If I could sit on Santa's lap and tell him what I want for Christmas six months in advance. That's what we need. And I'm talking about a sexy Santa, not like an unsex. I'm talking about like let's get a sexy Santa in there. Just load the place up with Christmas lights. Just as many Christmas lights as you can find. Some blow molds, maybe a village, a winter village or two. Which, you know, I'm on my winter village journey. I just, I ordered one from whatnot. They're a sponsor on this show. But this has nothing to do with the sponsorship. But I did order my first winter village. That's not the point. The point is we do a Christmas bar. That's a million dollar idea. Or I mentioned water park. Like I think that could be fun. Like design it like a children, like a kid's water park. Because those used to always be so fun to go to. There was a, we used to go to this Dover lake in Ohio when I was a little kid. I don't even know if it still exists, but it was like a lake. And they, I remember they had like these swings where you'd swing into the lake. I don't know that actually would be hard to do as a bar. But the point is we need places that we liked going to as bars, not a plane. Jesse though, I think likes one thing about the straight guys in LA is that they're all like a little bisexual. And what I mean is like I, they love the attention from the gay guys. And so here, here in la, like a lot of, I mean I'm gay and I have a lot of straight friends here. And I know a lot of other gay men who have straight friends. And I think it's because, like, the gay men here, they like the attention. And it's like, you could play flea flirt and stuff. And, you know, they have a couple cocktails and then want to fool around. Like, that's the kind of straight guys that are here in la and look, maybe they're elsewhere too. But I do notice the thing about straight guys in LA is that they like the attention from the gays. And so it is easy for the gays and the straights to be friends here. I'll give them that. Zach and Jesse, though not invited to Lala's, Jesse talks about dating Lacey, the new cast member before Michelle. And he keeps saying, like, he's obviously complimenting Lacy. He's like, oh, I feel like she's equal with me in intellect and conversation. I guess he was like, sort of calling Michelle a dummy. Did anyone pick up on that? And I'm sorry, if I was staring at Lacy and Michelle, I don't think Michelle would be the one that I would give the dunce cap to. If I had one in my hand and was asked to put one on someone, like I was sorting people in Harry Potter, I don't think I'd put it in Michelle's head. I'd maybe put it somewhere else. You could. I'll let you answer to who. But I think if I had a dunce cap and we were sorting into houses, I don't think I'd put it on Michelle. I'd put it on maybe another person in that equation. Am I wrong? But so then to hear Jesse throwing Michelle under the bus and calling her a dummy, basically I was like, I don't know, Jesse. You don't need to call your. He didn't outright say dummy. Maybe I misunderstood it. Anyway, then cut to Schwartz and Luke talking about lack of sex. Schwartz. Even later in the episode, Schwartz was saying something about, like, should I have a higher sex drive? And it's like, yeah, dude, I hate to say it, but I need. And look, I've been complimenting Schwartz this whole episode. So what I'm about to say is actually out of love. But I do hope that Schwartz goes to Dani's urologist and gets a prescription Viagra. Because at this point, I know enough about Schwartz's sex drive to be able to prescribe him that I could at least prescribe him. I'm no doctor, but I could prescribe him a trip to the urologist or primary care physician. Probably not. The urologist probably go to the primary care doctor and just say, hey, doc, might need to ask you about my testosterone levels and perhaps a Viagra supplement. And that's okay. I mean, he's 40. I don't know, 40 something. So it is what it is. That time is coming for all of us. Father Time. Father Time. What's the saying? Father Time waits for no one. That's not a saying. Father Time does something anyway. Father Time. It's only a matter of time before Father Time prohibits the men on Bravo from getting an erection. And so Father Time is showing up for shorts right now. And so he needs to get on over to his primary care doctor. His pcd. And pcd? Isn't that Pussycat Dolls? Not pcd. Do we say pcd? Primary care doctor. Is that a thing? PC? Pussycat Dolls, Primary care doctor. You know what? They both give us life. And the truth is, Schwartz just needs to go on up to his hospital and ask for a Viagra prescription immediately. Because I know enough. For years now, it's like he can't get. We've been hearing from Katie Maloney and now Schwartz through his own eyes and mouth. So just do it. And there's no shame in that. We need to start. Maybe making. That should be a storyline, maybe. And it would help other men who are going through similar issues. And I think that would be nice. If Danny can get a vasectomy on camera, then one of these other guys can go get a prescription to Viagra. Is Viagra the doc or the drug name? Or is that the generic name? I think it's the drug name. I don't know what that matters, but anyway, then cut to Lala and Nia. Lala is trying to get Nia to be nice to Janet, but Nia's not interested. And Lala and Nia. Yeah, Lala is trying to kind of meddle and get them on board because Lala says she likes Janet and she likes Nia. I gotta say, I was tough on Lala last week. I just want to point out she looks beautiful. She really does look beautiful. Whether or not you like Lala. I was looking at her this weekend like she's a stunning woman. Like, just purely looks. She's beautiful. She's beautiful. And I just had to say that. Then we cut to Janet and Nia and this was that awkward moment I played at the beginning of the episode where it's like, just if there's. Janet's. Like, if there's anything you want to say to me and Nia's like, that's okay. Like, no, thanks. And I don't have anything to say. It was, like, so awkward. I loved it. And then, like, Janet brought her friend Jared into the room to, like, tell her about how Nia and her had this awkward moment. And then Nia's trying to go feed her baby, and she accidentally walks in the room Janet's in. It's so awkward. It's so awkward. I don't know. I love it. I love it. I kind of don't want them to make up because I love the awkwardness. And if I'm being completely honest with you, and I don't want. I don't want to hear anyone from anyone about this, but when it comes to. I don't even think I should say it. Should I say it? I should say it. I should say it. Matt, board up the walls. I'm saying something controversial. I sort of side with Janet over Danny and Nia. I don't know. In some of it. Not all of it, but in some of it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say that I don't want to hear from anyone who feels differently. I don't want to get yelled at online. Okay, so then Danny picks up Zach for his ball care, and he's getting the vasectomy consult, but he still sort of wants another one. They cut to the urologist. And I'm always a little sketched out by any urologist who's going to be on camera. I think Ryan Bailey had posted on social media or something. He has a great podcast called so Bad It's Good. But he. I think I saw on maybe Threads or one of the social medias, he said it's his urologist. And that's another frustrating part about being in Los Angeles is that a lot of times on these reality TV shows, you see, like, you see your therapist, your urologist, your doctor, whoever, on camera with someone, and it's like, wait, I don't know if I should want to be seeing someone who's, like, doing reality tv. Like, doesn't a urologist make enough money that they could say no to the reality TV appearance for the Valley? And I guess maybe the argument can be made, like, maybe the urologist wants to spread awareness for vasectomies or for his business or something. And I understand that. But something really makes me uncomfortable about the fact that I could see my urologist on television giving Danny advice about his vasectomy. I don't like that. I don't feel that should be a thing. A doctor Patient confidentiality should mean that my urologist isn't on camera. On the Bravo network given Danny advice about his vasectomy. As Zach Wickham drinks out of his Stanley cup that he brought and makes ball jokes. Actually, Danny was the make one making ball jokes. He was like doing stand up at that place. It's like, Danny, there's no two drink minimum here at the urologist. Shut your yapper. Shut it. Anyway, let's take a break here, I think. Yeah, let's take a break here. We're going to come right back and we got to talk about Jesse and Lacey on their date. Woo woo. I'll be right back. Okay. I have to tell you about something that genuinely blew my mind. Gold Belly. Now, Gold Belly is one of those websites that feels like a secret cheat code for food lovers. Gold Belly makes fantastic gifts. I love using Gold Belly for gifts. They ship the most iconic foods from legendary restaurants all across the country straight to your door. Which means you can basically order famous dishes from places you normally have to travel for. I recently went down a gold belly rabbit hole for myself. Ended up ordering Magnolia Bakery's famous banana pudding, which I had always heard about, but I never actually tried. First of all, it arrived perfectly packed, fresh and honestly tasted like it just came straight from the bakery. Felt like bringing in a little New York moment into the home. And that's what makes it such a great gift idea too. For Mother's Day, you can send something really memorable, whether that's Magnolia Bakery desserts, Ina Garten or Martha Stewart cakes, a full New York bagel brunch or even Chicago deep dish pizza, which I love. Spent a couple years in Chicago and I love that you can order directly from Goldbelly. It's not just about food. It's a whole experience. And I'll admit I was skeptical about ordering something like that online. But the quality is fantastic and the ease of shipping really surprised me. Showed up beautifully packaged and ready to enjoy. So if you're looking to make a Mother's Day perfect or just want to impress your friends and family with an epic meal, next time you Host, go to goldbelly.com and get free shipping and 20% off your first order with promo code ICONIC. That's goldbelly.com code ICONIC for free shipping and 20 percent off your first order. Does your day move faster than you can keep up with new Gatorade Lower sugar? My family and I can stay at the top of our game. No artificial flavors, sweeteners or colors. 75% less sugar and all the electrolytes of regular Gatorade. Now available nationwide. We're back Rotten Hill to Lacey and Jesse on their date. And she immediately pops into this scene. It was like I was just accosted by Lola the psychic outside. And oh, gosh, I don't want to say. I don't want to say. Lacey seems nuts. Moving on. She does do a montage where we see her doing cartwheels. Everything about her is like, we're throwing a lot of information about Lacey in like three minutes. So we see her doing cartwheels. We get to know that she only wears Zara jeans. She lives in Orange county in five bedroom house and four bathrooms. Five bathrooms. Jesse wants to live there. She's got the daughter. She says she doesn't want to live with a man. She was married in her 20s. She got did well in the divorce. She's like, every woman should get a lot of money in the divorce. And she won't move to la. Daughter and Isabella get along. Jesse's very clingy with her. Clingier than she is with him. She also says she's freezing her eggs. And she's like, I'm gonna be mean when I'm freezing my eggs. And he wants. He's like, well, we should have a kid together. And they're flirting. Was making me very uncomfortable because I don't, I'm gonna. I don't love this happens a lot on reality tv. Like when they do that. That mean flirting. There's definitely like a line to it. You could be like playfully busting each other's chops. You know I'm saying that. Or you kind of dogging each other a little bit in a relationship. Like sometimes that's fun and playful and flirty, whatever. But then a lot of times it gets too mean. And this was a situation where I just felt like Lacy. They were. She was just being like, too mean. And I think Jesse was liking it, but it was not making me comfortable. It's not like I want someone who's too nice. That's another issue too. If, like, Lacy was being overly nice to Jesse in this scene, I'd be like, Lacy, cool it. Like, he's not that much of a prize. But the fact that I was feeling bad for Jesse by the way that Lacy was flirting, like, I shouldn't ever have to feel bad for Jesse. Like, there should be no circumstance where I'm getting on a microphone and saying, I feel bad for Jesse Lally. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, that shouldn't be a thing. So it's got to be really bad if I'm like, oh, she's being too nasty to. Or mean to Jesse Lally. Like, nobody. I should never think that anyone's too mean to Jesse Lally. And here I am. So I don't like that. It's something about her. I don't feel comfortable. I don't feel safe. I like her for the show, but just in my. If I were to come across her in real life, I don't know that I'd feel safe. I would just. And I don't know if I. If I was going to Zara to shop for some jeans and I saw her by the rack, I'd maybe run the other direction because I don't know if I'd feel safe. And maybe. I don't know. That's on me. Did I ever tell you about how I went to the post office the one day and I thought it was Jesse Lally? And I was like, Jesse. And like, I didn't even. I had never even met him at that point. It was like the Valley season one or something had aired and I just saw a man in a hat and I thought it was him. And I was like, yeah, I have that thing where I. I gotta stop doing it. I've actually been trying to consciously not do this, but, like, if I think I see someone, if I'm not sure about it, I don't think I need to be, like, running up to them, shouting their name from across the way. Like, I need to just move on or keep walking or put my head down or something. But instead I have this weird thing where it's like I could see someone from 20ft away, which at that point, like, I don't have that good a vision to be able to confirm or deny whether or not that's the actual person. I know. But sometimes if it's like a person with a similar height and I. It's like, that could be enough for me to be like, bill, Bill, Bill, it's me, Danny Bill, over here. And it's like, I don't need to do that. Like, why do I do that? I need to just shut my fucking mouth. Why don't I know how to shut my fucking mouth? But yeah, 20ft away, I'll just be shouting for, I don't know, Bill, or I don't even know Bill, but it's like, bill, Bill, it's me, Danny Bill. And then someone turns around and it's like, my name's not Bill. And then I have to, like, walk away with my head down like a fucking idiot. But I don't. What is that about me? Like, I shut my mouth. So if you ever see me in public doing that, just like, say, danny, shut your fucking mouth. Like, I give everybody permission. Tell me to shut my fucking mouth. In that scenario. In that scenario. Only I don't want just people coming up to me in public and be like, shut your fucking mouth. But if you do see me, like, shouting across the way. Anyway, let's see. Then we cut to Schwartz and Michelle at the salt cave, which I think they did in Real House Salt Lake City. They have a nice conversation about their parents. Michelle, it was heartbreaking. Michelle said she watched her mom die and she cries a lot. She's like, I cry at night. And she said she goes in the car and drives and cries. Ugh. Then they plan a cast trip to San Diego. And Michelle, I guess, used to live in San Diego. And so she talks about going to Tijuana. She calls it TJ. Like. Like, she was on the O.C. she wasn't on the O.C. but do you remember the O.C. when they would go to TJ? Remember Marissa Cooper? She, like, Ryan. Ryan from the O.C. had to, like, carry Marissa Cooper out of. Am I mixing up episodes of the OC I haven't watched in a while. But remember when they went to tj, they went to TJ on the OC Loved it. The OC Was great. It was great for the first two seasons, and then there was a flop season. And then they had a sort of okay last season. They flew too close to the sun, though, that first season. They really did okay. So they are, I guess, doing a cast trip to San Diego, which, I'm sorry, but, like, I hate to say it, but where's the budget? Whereas, I know this is, I guess, the first cast trip of the season, so hopefully they'll go somewhere more exotic. But again, I say, bravo, loosen up the purse strings. Because sending them to San Diego, it's not it. Maybe at least send him to Tijuana. That would be fun. This is where Tom also asked Michelle, like, how's your mojo? Should my sex drive be higher? And again, I just would like him to get Viagra. He's sad he doesn't have a family. And again, just to give him some props, I do think he'd be a good dad. And I like these two as wing people. I like them as wing people for each other, but not as a couple. Then we see Nia and Danny at home. Oh, this is pissing me off. He was telling her about the vasectomy, and he's like, oh, if I get it, I can't have. I can't do anything around the house for 10 days. 10 days. And Nia's like, I'm struggling. Like, I'm feeling isolated. I have three toddlers and a newborn. I'm in my. What they call fourth trimester. Like, I'm recovering from birth, and I'm overwhelmed. And Danny's just like, well, I put sex on the calendar. And I'm like, shut the fuck up, Rotten Hill. Like, these men. You really need sex that bad? I don't know. I would. And I hate to say it. No, I don't. They need to cool it. They need to cool it. They need to go, go fuck yourself in the bathroom or the other room or something. Or in the shower. I don't care where it is. Just go. Or. Or quite frankly, if I was in. If I was neon, I'd say, go fuck someone on the street. I don't give a flying fucking. Like, go do what you gotta do and leave me the fuck out of it. I would lose it, I think, if I was Kristen and Nia, like, go do it. I don't care. Go fuck someone on the side of the goddamn road. At this point, I don't want to hear about you having to get off. Like, go get off and then come back in the house. And if you want to participate in this life, participate in. Otherwise, get the fuck out of my house and shut your goddamn mouth about how you need sex. Go get it. Go do it. Go figure it out. Figure it out. I'm busy keeping life for your four children that I birthed out of me. And so you need to get the fuck out and figure it out. Go fuck the urologist if you have to. I don't give a flying fuck. That's what I'd say if I was Nia, But Nia doesn't have that in her. She just was sort of crying, and I was like, thinking, yeah, that's what she say, go fuck the urologist. Because he even was like, oh, I gotta masturbate 36 times, or whatever it was. If I'm doing the vasectomy, it's like, so I'm gonna put sex in the calendar. And I'd be like, you think you're gonna have sex with me 36 times? Are you out of your fucking mind with this attitude? I'm not having sex with you now one time. So you go masturbate 36 times in the bathroom, sir. Get the fuck out. I wouldn't even care about cheat. I wouldn't even think about cheating. I'd be. I'd just say, like, go do it. Go fuck anybody else, but leave me out of it and stop telling me about how you need to have sex. Imagine four. Four under four. I wouldn't want to have sex with anybody or I want to. Four under four. I'd be so exhausted. Everybody would be so exhausted. You got to be so exhausted. And also the other issue that I think is it's like, you obviously are annoying the person. And I guess this is communication. I guess. So maybe this is. I understand these men bringing it up because you got to communicate with your wife. I get that. But I also think, like, if they didn't maybe push it so hard, then maybe the women would have been more attracted to them and want to have sex. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, maybe if they were just like, nice, super supportive, tell them how beautiful they are and. And help out with everything and these four kids and around the house and not be trying to pressure for a four, a fifth kid and not be telling her about the sex on the schedule and all this stuff, like, then maybe Nia would wanna fuck you. I'm sorry. Okay, that's it. She feels like a failure, though. And I feel she's on the verge of burnout. She says she's on the brim. In the words of Brittney Cartwright, she's on the. I am on the brim of freaking ant. She's on the brim of freaking ant. Brim of freaking ant. Rotten Hill. And Danny just needs to go. Go into the bathroom and figure it out. Somebody had to shove it up their butthole for him to get it. Gotta shove something up his butthole to get it. In the words of Brittany Cartwright, shove it up the butthole to get it. And so next time on the show. I like that this show is just ending with me talking about Danny shoving something up his butthole for on the Valley. Okay, so then next week on the show, Lala versus Jasmine Brandon. We get to meet him. Luke and Jason. Sit down. I love the Valley. I love this show. It's, like, such a mess. I love it. It's a great show. I love all our programs. Southern hospitality too. Speaking of, like, gross. Not gross, but speaking of sex acts that are being talked about on camera, there was a scene this week that with tj and they were, like, having sex or hooking up to the salt lake City Housewives. Like, they had. It was such, like, a weird kind of trippy Inception moment because they put on an episode. They're at the lake house, and they put on an episode of the Real Houses of Salt Lake City. And then they just start hooking up as the episode's playing in the background, and you just hear the voiceover because it's dark. All you see is, like, Lisa Barlow in the back on the tv. And then you just hear TJ being, like, talking about his ass or somebody's eating ass or something. I'm sorry to be vulgar, but that's what's happening. I had a shoved up their butthole for him to get it, and it was very. That's the Bravo wink. That's the Bravo wink. It's like the cast members on a Bravo show watching the Salt Lake City Housewives as they're hooking up. Like, that's the Bravo wink. Anyway. And one of their buttholes was winking. I'll leave it at that. I love you all so much for listening. I'm sorry to end it in such a vulgar way, and I understand that it's inappropriate, all the things that I pretty much just said for the last 58 minutes, but I appreciate you all subscribing, listening. Please. If you don't subscribe to the podcast, go hit that subscribe button. It really helps us out here at Everything Iconic. So even though you might not have liked this whole hour that we just did, please please go into your Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you listen and click the subscribe button so you get all the new episodes. Because even if you miss a week or you tune out a week, it really does help the show if you hit that subscribe button and they get downloaded to your phone because it's good for our numbers here. And that's the honest truth. And so it really helps us out if you hit that subscribe button. So if you haven't done that, or maybe you can just go check to see if you. If you have. I know. I hate to give you homework. What an annoying piece of shit I am. Sometimes. Even the. I always feel like when I'm doing the promo and I tell you guys, I go get my books, it's like I get tired of myself saying that or telling you, go to the Patreon. I think in my head as I'm saying it, I'm like, ah, shut the fuck up with the promo, Danny. But then you got to do. You got to move the merch. You got to go to EverythingIConic store for merch from everything iconic and sign copies of my book, if that's where you're look. And also the books are really cheap on Amazon. And that's also something I probably shouldn't say because it's also better for you to go to the independent bookstore, your library or Barnes Noble or really anywhere else. I shouldn't be telling you to go to Amazon, but they're like 2 bucks on Amazon and so go get them on Amazon for 2 bucks. That's a great thing. Or your local bookstore for retail. Retail price is great too. Support local business. That's a good thing. Even if you don't buy my books, I think it is good. I love going to a bookstore. My favorite bookstore here in LA is the last bookstore in Studio City. It's actually a used bookstore. So I like to get some used books there. And every time I go there, I check to see if they have my book. I'm like, do they have it? And because I'm like thinking, who's going to turn it into the used bookstore? But I never see them there. But sometimes at the used bookstore you can get books that have like notes to people in. I love it. Anyway, the point is, it is good to go shop local business. If you can go to a trinket shop this week, even if you're not buying my books, maybe that's a better homework. It's like go to a small boutique store in your neighborhood. Every most neighborhood's got a little small boutique store. Go to your town square and go to one of those stores where like the things are ridiculously expensive. Do you know what I'm talking about? Where it's like you. You pop in one day and you're looking for a birthday card and then you find one. It's like a local artist and it's $17 for one birthday card. And you look at it and you're like, what the fuck is that? Maybe that's the homework is if you have the money, if you're able to go support that small business and buy that $17 birthday card. I went in one the other day and I was gonna get this sticker for a birthday card. Like I was sending my friend a birthday card and I was trying to buy this. It was like Taylor Swift sticker that I thought I'd put on the envelope and it was like $6 for this one sticker. And I just couldn't. I know I just told you all to do it, but I couldn't justify it because I was like there's no way I'm spending $6 on. It's going to be immediately thrown away anyway. What are we talking about? I should wrap this up. I'm like, why am I lingering? Why am I dragging this out? I should have said goodbye to you all. I should have said goodbye and I should have played our outro music. And then I should have got on my merry way and attended to my child instead of leaving the child unattended. In the words of Kathy Wakely to Teresa Judice, when they were in season, I guess two or three, maybe three of the real houses in New Jersey. Remember, Kathy said Teresa left her child unattended. And Teresa said, don't go there, Cath. Do not go there, Calf. That's like a vocal stim in my head is like, do not go there, Cath. Cath, do not go there. Do not go there, Cath. Okay, I love you all so much for listening. This episode is sponsored by State Farm. Some decisions are tough, like parallel parking or circling the block three more times. One decision that's a no brainer. Choosing State Farm for your coverage. Because at State Farm they'll help you choose the right coverage at an affordable price with the State Farm personal price plan. So you can feel good about all the decisions you make, including finding a valet handing over your keys. So talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. We're lost. It feels like we're going round in circles. I'm gonna ask that man for directions. Hi there. We're trying to get to the state fairgrounds.
- [72:46]
B
Well, you're going to take a left at the old oak tree at this here road.
- [72:50]
A
Nah, I'm just kidding.
- [72:51]
B
Let me get my phone out.
- [72:52]
A
How is their signal out here?
- [72:54]
B
T Mobile and US Cellular are coming together. So the network out here is huge. We get the same great signal as the the city. Saving a boatload with benefits. And there's a five year price guarantee too. Okay, here's the turn.
- [73:06]
A
Actually, can you pull up the way to a T Mobile store?
- [73:10]
B
America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price guarantee. And now T mobile is available at US Cellular stores in Hermiston. Best mobile network Based on analysis by Uglo speed test intelligence Data secondhand of 2025 bigger network the combination of T Mobile's and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees. Apply ct.com for details.
- [73:41]
A
Raise your hands to the sky all you have to do is try there's
- [73:48]
B
no turning back no, no, no it's
- [73:52]
A
all in front of you there's no
- [73:56]
B
turning back no, no it's only up
- [74:01]
A
to you of Onion D.