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Kim France
They say opposites attract. That's why the Sleep number Smart bed is the best bed for couples. You can each choose what's right for you whenever you like. You like a bed that feels firm, but they want soft. Sleep number does that. You want to sleep cooler while they like to feel warm. Sleep number does that too. Why choose a sleep number smart bed so you can choose your ideal comfort on either side. And now it's the lowest price of the season on the top selling i8 smart bed your best savings plus special financing limited time shop a sleep number store near you. See store or sleepnumber.com for details. Over the last 75 years, over 10,000 chemicals have been introduced to our food supply, yet the EU only allows 300 food additives. But at Thrive Market, we bring our members the highest quality brands and restrict more than 1,000 ingredients found at conventional grocery stores. Making the switch is easy with our Healthy Swaps scanner, which finds better versions of all your favorite pantry, snacking and home essentials without the added junk dyes and fillers. Plus, it's all delivered straight to your door. So if you're looking to shop at a grocery store that actually cares about your health, go to thrivemarket.com podcast and you'll get 30% off your first order and a free gift.
Jen Romolini
It's official. Podcast advertising is transcending audio. Marketers can now tap into audiences across all of a creator's channels, from social media to video, live events and beyond. And Acast new report proves it works, with 84% of podcast listeners having taken action after seeing brands promoted in a podcast first Omnichannel campaign. Get these insights and more by downloading the full report@podcastpulse2024 acast.com foreign welcome to everything is Fine, a podcast for women over 40. We are your hosts. I'm Kim France.
And I'm Jen Raoumelini.
And remember last week when you were talking about your chin and how your chin had the texture of like a strawberry, that it had like indentations or pebbled temples?
Yes.
Pebble chin. Yeah, I have that too. Thank you for. Thank you for pointing it out to me.
Look, once you see it, you can't unsee it. I saw it.
Never.
I saw it one day in the dermatologist office. She was like, oh, it's tight. And it's because you're all. It's all because you're all tight in your jaw. You make you over index these muscles in your chin so they're just fucking tight.
That makes perfect Sense.
Right? I mean, same, same. Just a fucking stress bag. And of course I have a pebble chin. Cause my chin is a rock night.
But now I can't stop thinking about it either.
Well, you know, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? That's the thing. What are you gonna do? You're gonna do nothing or you're gonna do something temporary or. You know, I. I still. The other day was like, oh, necklift. Every. Like, the necklift, like, Muse or whatever it is, like, just sings to me.
It's like the befores and afters.
Kim France
Oh.
Jen Romolini
Like every once in a while when you lift up and that you just, like, give it a lift, and you're like, what would I look like?
It's not even my neck. For some reason, my neck's not in such great shape, but it doesn't bother me. My jawline bothers me.
You're not a wrinkle monster, though. You never were. Like, you never had. You're just not a wrinkly person. It's really a strange way to age. No wrinkles.
Well, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why.
Kim France
All right?
Jen Romolini
It's because I am not thin.
Mm.
It's a your face or your ass situation. Speaking of, I take my mother to the doctor this week.
Okay.
You know, she's 87 years old. She has terrible hearing, even with her hearing aids. One of us needs to be with her at the doctor every time she goes.
So she can hear, right? Yeah.
So it was my turn, and it happened to be with the doctor who I also see, who I got a recommendation from my mom for.
Okay.
And he comes in, he introduces himself to me, and I said, actually, I'm one of your patients. You know, I saw you a few years ago. And he's like, really? I don't. I don't recognize you. Then he looks at my file, and he's like, oh, I totally remember this case, but I can't recognize you at all. What looks different? He's like, is something different.
No, stop.
And I'm like, not really. I don't know. I got married. What could it be? My mom finally says, well, she has gained a little weight. She has gained a little weight. To which I said to her, thank you, Mom. I'm recording tomorrow. And you always give me material.
You know, the thing is, is, like, you're supposed to gain weight in middle age, like a normal. Like most people do. Like, I was looking at Debbie Mazer Mazar. You know who I'm talking about? Who who was, like, pleasantly plump all through middle age and has clearly recently, you know, just succumbed to Ozempic and is now like a head on a popsicle. Like a popsicle. Like, she's just like a head on a skinny, skinny body. And, like, skinny, skinny, skinny is coming back. I was looking at an interview with the wicked people.
Oh, my God, they both look really skeletal.
Kim France
Skeletal.
Jen Romolini
Like, it feels like we're back to, like, waif 90s. Like, I am. I am alarmed. I am alarmed by how skinny people are.
You know, it's interesting you should say that because I've been feeling more and more like there's been some normalization of different size bodies lately. So, like, real like that I see in advertising and that I see on websites, e commerce sites, and that you are seeing a bigger variety of bodies. Still limited, but a bigger variety. And I even got some Spanx tights the other day, and they had an illustration on them of a very skinny woman. And I was like, that's so weird that they're doing that because most of the women buying Spanx aren't gonna recognize the woman on this.
That's right. That's right. That's right. No, I hope this. I hope Ozempic. Like, I do think there's been progress for sure. And I hope that fucking Ozempic and WeGovy and all these other shit things don't. You know, and God love you if you're using them and they are working for you and whatever. But, like, I feel like we don't know what they' they're really going to do to us long term, number one. And number two, I just hope that this, like, ultra skinny aesthetic doesn't, like, cause a backlash and, like, the pendulum swings the other way and we're back in. In all, all skinny land. Because it's not. It's not good for anybody. It's not good for anybody. It's not good for anybody. But Charlotte was like, I. Charlotte and I were talking about it. Charlotte was like, they're really skinny. And I was like, yeah, they're really skinny. And she was like, I don't really see people like this in real life. And I was like, I worked with a lot of people like this.
Yeah.
Like, the fact that I was portly at Lucky is insane. It's still insane.
I still remember you and I one day going on about, at Lucky, about how fat we both felt like we were.
Yeah.
And we went to a Domino magazine party that night, and you ran up to me all excited and you said, kim, we're not fat. We're medium. Because we weren't at, like, a fashion party, you know, and people were just had. And people were still fucking skinny.
Yes. But not. Not, like, not zero. Not size zero, which is what you would really, really. Size zero. Size two, which is. Being surrounded by people of those sizes is. It gives you a lot of, like, body dysmorphia. I mean, everybody hates when we talk about this shit, but it's like. It's true. I felt. I felt like a giant. Like a brute. Like, I felt.
I know I did.
Hulking.
I did, too, a lot of the time, you know, and it was crazy. It was because everybody was so small. There was also. I love the. Like, when a publicist would be talking to a fashion publicist, if they were gonna refer to someone who was not tiny, they'd say, she's small on top.
Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Wow. Oh, right. For, like, cover. For, like, covers and stuff. Like, when you had to, like, fit people. Yeah.
Yeah. So toxic. Super toxic. Sorry about that, listeners. Everybody who had to suffer under the somewhat toxicness of women's magazines.
Sorry. We described clothes like that. Like, nobody should have ever worn. It was ridiculous. No. Like, now looking back, I, like, have. I hated all of our cover models because they were all a pain in the ass in a different way way. And I always interviewed them at the shoot when they were at the. On their worst behavior. But now, like, I think about it, and, like, Ann Hathaway, who we were so mad at because she refused to wear any of the clothes and was like, no, I'm wearing my jeans. And we were like, it's a shopping magazine and no one could buy your jeans. And it was such a catastrophe. Now I'm like, I get it. Ann Hathaway. I get it.
Oh, yeah, I totally get it. Because the people who style and create and choose the clothes for magazine cover shoots, they're used to choosing for models and actresses don't have model bodies. They're still teeny most of the time. Oh.
And a lot of times they're just whittling themselves down to nothing. It's so sad. No, but the best one. The best one was Liv Tyler, who wanted to wear. I don't know if I've ever said this on the podcast. Who wanted to wear this Dior dress backwards? And, like, we just. We were like, no, you can't wear it backwards. You can't. It's Dior. Like, you can't wear it backwards. And, like, Dior was like a super fancy Thing for us, we never had anything like that. And so she just sat in the middle of the COVID shoot, like, in a puddle of Dior, like, just sat down a bit and, like, her publicist is going over to her and, like, you know, the stylist is, like, standing on the side, like, you know, tapping a foot. And everybody, like, the whole shoot shut down. And she just starts, like, she's like, this is my being and my person, and I need my being and my person to be respected. And it was like, well, what the fuck does that mean? Does that mean you're going to turn the dress around or does it mean. It was like. It was always. There was always high drama. Except for with three people who we had on the COVID like, eight times. Heidi Klum, the best, didn't matter. Would, like, just be naked in front of anybody. Didn't give a shit. Hilary Duff, Hillary Duff, the nicest person I've ever met. Remembered me every time I interviewed her. Lovely. And Keri Russell.
I knew you were going to say Keri Russell.
That was it.
She was a sweetheart. She was a sweetheart.
That was it. No bullshit. No fighting over the stupid interview, which was like, which mascara do you like? And they would not tell you.
Truly, the least heavy lift of a profile from any femin fashion magazine was lucky. All you had to do was talk about the shit you wanted to buy.
That was it. And yet. And yet. And yet. It was like pulling teeth. Like Avril Lavigne being like, I don't want to do this. And what do you like? I like skulls and shit. Like, stop it. I just am trying to find out what kind of denim you might care for. Like, I'll fill in the blanks.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. It's so funny. But actually, also, in retrospect, I was the worst person to send to that ship because I have so little patience. Like, we should have sent some kindly sycophant to go into that situation, but not. We didn't.
Well, I'm glad it was you.
I'm glad it was me, too. Parker Posey was also a delight. It was a delight. But she also was difficult with the clothes. Everybody was difficult with the clothes.
Everybody's difficult with clothes because they're sample size. And, I mean, we had to sew. We had to sew people into their clothes on occasion.
Clamp the clamps in the back.
Yeah.
Oh, God, I'm so glad that time is over. I'm so glad it's over. Honestly, like, I wouldn't want to go back to that. I want my.
Yeah, me neither. And I'm grateful. I'm grateful for a lot about that job, I really am. But no, I would never want to go back to that.
Someone approached me with an opportunity recently that would be like, heading something up kind of with, you know, managing. And I was like, no, I don't care how much money I make. Like, no, I'm not. I can't be responsible for other people anymore. Like, I did it for a long time and I don't want to do it anymore.
I neither want to manage nor be managed.
Oh, I don't mind being managed, actually, because I. I can handle that. I do not want to manage that. Actually. Being managed actually, like, somehow like, suits my, like, masochistic vibe. Like, I'm always. I'm always like, oh, I want to, please. I'm a little puppy. But like, the, the managing of other people because you can't. You can't control their output. And like, you're always having to, like, dancey dance around shit. You know, you. Most of the time your employees suck. Like, not most, but let's say at least 50% of the time your employees have, like, some real problems. And you have to, like. And especially now, like, you can't just be honest with people now. You'll get. You'll get sued.
Yeah.
Can't tell people how they're performing in a. In an honest way. Like, it's. You have to be very careful with feedback from everybody I've heard. And also they're fucking secretly recording you half the time because everything's over. Zoom. That's what managers have been telling me. Like, you have to be so careful in any one on one with an employee because you don't know what they're going to bring to hr because everything's changed.
Wow.
Yeah. Doesn't that sound brutal and awful?
Yeah, that sounds super brutal and awful.
Because if somebody's doing a shit job, you can't just be like, you know, this really isn't up to standard.
Yep. No.
Ugh, I'd be bad at that. What else?
I went to Woodstock last week.
That's right. That's right. How was it?
We had so much fun. I've recently been reconnecting with my friend Jonathan. He and I started. He didn't start out. He'd had a job before, but I met him at my first job at seven Days. And Jonathan went on to be, like, a very successful magazine writer. He wrote every cover story in vogue for about 10 years, every profile of anybody, and interviewed everyone Interviewed the Obamas, Interviewed just everyone you could possibly imagine.
Angelina Jolie, the Kardashian, everyone.
And recently they took him off contract a while ago, which they did with everybody who was expensive.
That's right.
And Lady Gaga recently was on the COVID and said, I will only talk to Jonathan.
Oh, that's cool.
So they had to call him up and they had to call him back up and beg. That's like the type of thing you dream about, you know?
Yes, yes, yes.
But. But he is wonderful. He and his husband Andy have this beautiful home in Woodstock, and we had the most incredible evening with them, and I was so glad we got in the car and went and did that.
Yeah, it.
Just. Because it's. You know, you can be. I mean, we see each other a couple times a year, two or three times a year, one way or another, but, you know, most people, I don't. And I depend on Zoom, you know, and it's not the same than seeing people and, like, cracking up in their living room for hours after dinner.
Exactly, exactly. Yeah. I similarly drove down to Kalamazoo to see my friend Sam, and it was like, I'm so glad I did it. I was only there for two nights. But similarly, we hadn't seen each other in person since before the pandemic. And it was the best. It was the best. Also, I was just like, oh, I get this. Like, I got Chicago, I got Kalamazoo. I was like, this is nice. Like, this is a nice, chill way to be living. Like, what the fuck is wrong with me that I can only live in these two outrageously expensive cities on the coasts? Like, this is stupid. This is a stupid, stupid, stupid thing I've been doing for a long time.
You're so kind to yourself. I think that's what I admire about you most.
No, but I get that, like, we just. We also cracked up. It was. I, like, spent. I spent two nights with. With Sam and her wife, and it was like, she's the best person in the world, and we had the best time. I got to meet her dog. Like, it was great. It was just. It was just so nice and cozy and like. Like, we've been. Like, we talk about all the time. Like, it's hard to make friends and, like, it's nice to see the people you really, really enjoy in person.
Yes. And like, Jonathan and I have just been out of touch for so long and to connect and. It's so corny, but to connect with somebody and feel like you still have the same connection.
Yeah. Yeah.
Absolutely.
Important it is important. It makes you feel less alone. It may. You know, and those. Those trips, like, it's like you bank a lot of, like, emotional intimacy in those trips, I feel like. Cause then, like, your texts are close, closer, you know, so. Yeah, I've been thinking about that, too. Like, I definitely want to make sure that I'm going the extra mile to make those kinds of, like, out of the way things happen, you know? Like, that's a little bit out of the way for you. For me. But it's like. It's worth it.
No, it's. It's so worth it. I was so glad we did it. It was. It was really just nourishing in every way.
Yeah. That's great. That's great. That's great. I'm glad you did it. I'm glad. Where did you stay?
We stayed at a hotel called the Woodstock Way.
Was it nice?
It's nice. Yeah, it's nice. It's like a bunch of, like, structures like, that have, you know, like, small structures, a bunch of them that have, like, two or three hotel rooms in each of them.
Okay. Okay.
And so it was nice. And, you know, it's kind of corny. Like, they have turntables and records in all the rooms.
Yeah.
But, you know, that's Woodstock's whole thing that it's, like, a music town, right?
No, that's on Alex's list. Upstate is on somewhere. Upstate is on Alex's list for our. Our eventual return to the East Coast. That is on his list. I'm all Baltimore, but he's. He's. He's like, upstate, Upstate. Let's move upstate and get a gun. Like, that's his part of it. Oh, yeah. He wants. He's like, I think we need to get a gun. And I was like, what will we do with a gun now?
Is he. I want to hear his thinking. Because I had that thought recently as well.
He was like, if the shit goes down and everybody else has guns, we should have a gun.
Yeah. That was exactly my train of thought. Alex and I are so alike.
You are so, so alike. It is crazy to me. You're so, so alike. Yeah. Speaking of him, I think I was just telling you, I think we found a place. We'll see if we get it. I think I found. I think I found a place in Silver Lake to live that isn't, you know, $9,000 a month to live in. But of course, like, negotiating big decisions with, like, a spouse, it's. It's hard. It's really, really hard. Yeah, it was really hard. His opening salvo this morning was like, wait, don't you think it's a dump? And I was like, okay. He was like, what? What? We can't discuss this. And I was like, well, if your opening thing is, don't you think it's a dump? He was like, I want to know, do you think it's a dump? And I was like, clearly, I don't think it's a dump if I'm suggesting we move into it. Yes, like, use your. Use your words carefully if you want to have a conversation. I was like, do you think it's a dump? I don't know. I want to know what you think. I was like, I can't. I'm going to to die. I'm gonna murder someone and then die. No, it's sad. Transitions are sad, though. Like, you know, I think the reason that he's been so resistant to all the. The many, many places that I've found because all of the emotional labor. Let's continue it, lady. Is because he doesn't want this. He doesn't want it to be happening. And it's happening. It's a bummer that it's happening, but it's happening.
Radical acceptance, Alex.
I immediately go into. Oh, my God, that adorable balcony. Oh, my God, that little nook in the kitchen. I'm going to wallpaper that and I'm going to get a little round table and two yellow chairs. Like, I already see myself in every place in the house. Like, I can. I move immediately into imagination. Yeah, that's my. That's my coping mechanism is like. I'm like, oh, this is a fantasy now and I can fulfill it, even though it won't be that good. But let me say something. This house, if we move into it, knock wood, has a goddamn fireplace. A wood burning fireplace.
That's not nothing. That's not nothing in California. A wood burning fireplace in la. That's gotta be a little rare.
It's gotta be a little rare. 1800 square feet and a wood burning fireplace. I'll fuck in a little outdoor space. I don't care. I don't care. He's like. He's like, I think there's a gang around there and I. We live in a fucking city. There are gangs everywhere. What do you want?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Marriage? Really? I don't know. Do I recommend it? I don't know. I don't know.
I was thinking about all fours and I was thinking about how I started reading it and was like, and everybody else has been so electrified by that book that I read a few pages of. And I think part of why I didn't, I couldn't relate was that I, I'm not, I haven't been, I haven't had a long marriage. You know, I think it really. The women who were responding to that book were people who were our age who were in long marriages.
Absolutely. I think it is definitely like a long term partnership. And like what she, what she really gets right is the dynamic of a long term partnership on so many levels. Like on the sexual level, like every way. But there's like this one scene like they're having a really, really hard time in their marriage and they have to deal with a very disgusting pet situation and they just flip into another mode together which is just action mode of like a long time marriage. Of just like, okay, you're doing this, I'm doing this. We're going to deal with this. This is disgusting. But let's just, we're going to get through this. And it's like none of their problems matter. None of the emotion, nothing matters except that they are now a challenge has been presented and it is revolting with a living thing and they must deal with it. And especially long term marriages with kids. You just find yourself in that situation so much where maybe you would have broken up a million times or, you know, or whatever you would have done, maybe you would have had more, more sex, more joy, more whatever. But instead there's like a living creature in front of you with a, with a thing you have to deal with and so you just like get into deal with it mode. And I feel like that's what a lot of long term relationships are, especially with kids or pets or whatever is Deal with it.
Partnerships.
Which is not sexy.
Yeah.
Which is the real fucking problem of the whole, the whole thing is that that's just not hot.
Yeah, yeah. No, there. And when you, I mean, when you live with somebody day in and day out, there are so many things that fight the hot.
Yes, that's it. It's fight the hot. That's exactly it. That's exactly it. And it's a fucking problem. It's a problem because it's already, you're already up against. Like, how do you sustain finding another person hot for decades? But then on top of it, the like world is working against you because you're like, could you just clean the toilet after you use it? Like, you know, I don't want to be, I don't want to, I don't want to have a long conversation about this but like, is that something you could start doing?
You know, like, oh, the fucking toilet.
The fucking toilet.
You know, the pee on the floor. The pee on the floor. I just don't even ask anymore. I see it there, I clean it myself. It's just, it's just not even worth it because I know he thinks he's making an effort.
I know. I mean look, I have, I have done very passive aggressive like propping of cleaning supplies like next to the like basically with like a message on it like hey, use me. I haven't done that. But there's like, you know, fresh cleaning supplies, like. Cause I use them to clean up the mess. But yeah, my mom said it gets worse with men because they just as they get older they just, they pee all over the place. It's like, it's like the hose doesn't have a clean stream anymore.
Oh, oh man.
Oh man. Yeah, she said she cleans up pee every day.
Oh man.
But if you peed on the floor, like, let's just have a conversation.
If I peed on the floor, I would be quite certain, I would make very certain that that pee was not on the floor before anyone else could see it.
Exactly. I would, I would have like, it would be shame pee for me.
I know, but men are different.
They're different. They just like straight men. Straight men are different. Straight CIS men are different. They walk out of a bathroom, they're like, yep, that's it. I mean, I can't believe it. I can't believe how many times I scrub a toilet bowl. And it's not because, not, it's. I, I can't, I can't, I can't. I can't believe it. But it's just, it's, it's part of the deal. Part, part of the, part of the, part of the fun.
Foreign.
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Kim France
They say opposites attract. That's why the Sleep Number Smart Bed is the best bed for couples. You can each choose what's right for you whenever you like. You like a bed that feels firm but they want soft. Sleep number does that. You want to sleep cooler while they like to feel warm. Sleep Number does that too. Why choose a Sleep Number Smart bed so you can choose your ideal comfort on either side. And now it's the lowest price of the season on the top selling i8 smart bed your best savings plus special financing limited time Shop a Sleep Number store near you see store or sleepnumber.com for details. Over the last 75 years, over 10,000 chemicals have been introduced to our food supply, yet the EU only allows 300 food additives. But at Thrive Market, we bring our members the highest quality brands and restrict more than 1,000 ingredients found at conventional grocery stores. Making the switch is easy with our Healthy Swaps scanner which finds better versions of all your favorite pantry, snacking and home essentials without the added junk dyes and fillers. Plus, it's all delivered straight to your door. So if you're looking to shop at a grocery store that actually cares about your health, go to thrivemarket.com podcast and you'll get 30% off your first order and a free gift.
Jen Romolini
And we're back. Anyway, I'm getting excited. I'm already starting to look at. Like, I'm, like, I'm just excited for a new space. I'm going to buy a new sofa.
Maybe you'll have a party.
Yeah, maybe I'll have a party. Although the thing is, this house, this. This townhouse, which is in a row of. Of townhouses. It is no curb appeal. Like, it is not. That is not like, I'll have a party. I'm not ashamed. But it is. You know, it doesn't. It doesn't indicate wealth is what I'm saying. But you know what? I live in an incredibly expensive city, and I'm not wealthy. And, like, at a certain point, when do you stop doing things for show and start living as what you really are, you know?
Yeah.
So. But, yeah, maybe I will have a party. There's a lot. There's a lot of good space to have a party.
You know what I was thinking about?
What?
Well, I was thinking about our annual trip to Los Angeles and when that will take place.
Okay. Well, I'll probably. If it happens in February, we could sit by my fire. Oh, and the new house still within walking distance of your favorite hotel. So guess what?
Oh, amazing.
Yeah. Yeah, no problem. What else? Yeah, I went to Kalamazoo. I had the best time. I saw both Gladiator and A Real pain, or Gladiator 2 or whatever. I saw two movies in the theater. Goddamn Paul Mescal. Holy shit, is he hot?
I can recognize his hotness, but also not be, like, seduced by it.
Yeah, I mean, look, if it was, like, a choice between him, Andrew Garfield, I'd take Andrew Garfield over Paul Mascot. Like, he's a hotness that is like a blunt instrument. That's not really my hotness, but aesthetically, he's kind of amazing, and he's very good in this movie for whatever it is. And then A Real Pain is what I think it's called, is the Jesse Eisenberg, Kiernan Culkin movie. And that was very. That was worth watching.
Oh, I like both of them.
Yeah, it was worth watching. They go to Poland to see where their grandmother grew up and, you know, whatever. They're very different. They're opposites and they're traveling together. But it's a smart script like that. It doesn't really what the premise is when you have a smart script and two good actors.
It's true.
Yeah. But that's really all I've been watching.
We were talking about Jesse Eisenberg, and I feel like it was because we watched a movie with him in it. What did we watch. Oh, Adventureland.
Oh, that's a blast from the past.
Adventureland. We were watching that, and we were talking about Jesse Eisenberg and Michael Ceramic and how Jesse Eisenberg can play Michael Cera roles, but Michael Cera couldn't necessarily play Jesse Eisenberg roles.
Oh, that's interesting. That's interesting. I believe that you are correct about that. Yeah, I believe that you are correct about that. Michael Cera has too much of, like, little boy to him still.
You know that I was once on a plane with Michael Ceramic. He was sitting in the row in front of me, and the flight attendant whispered, he was sleeping. And the flight attendant whispered, is he traveling with his parents? Do you know? He seems very young.
Yeah.
And I was like, he's a movie star. Here's my Us magazine with a picture of him.
No, I. I think that he. I think Michael Cera is fine. He's. He was, for a minute, like a neighborhood celebrity. Like, I would see him at little Dom's all the time having a drink by himself, but I haven't seen him in a while. I don't know where he got off to.
I believe he lives in Brooklyn.
Oh, well, there we go. He switched coasts on us.
He switched coasts. I believe I could be wrong.
Okay, do you want to get into listener questions, or do you have more things on your list?
Let's look at my list, shall we?
Yes, let's. What was your list?
Strawberry chin? Going to Woodstock. Oh, well, I mean, I am thinking about just, like, the fact that it's the holidays. I mean, this episode will be on after Thanksgiving. We're a couple days before Thanksgiving right now. Yes, but it's like the holidays have started. Everything started earlier than it ever has.
I know, I know. Except not really, because it's Thanksgiving. Like, should have been, like, five days ago. Usually, like, Thanksgiving is late. This year, we're going to have a very abbreviated holiday season.
Oh, that must be why everybody started their Black Friday sales so early this year.
No, they're just starting Black Friday sales because that's how everybody makes money now. Yeah, but I. I'm. You know me. I love the holidays. Can't wait. Putting up two trees. Can't wait.
Two trees. Tell me about the two trees.
Well, we have to get a live tree, because Charlotte is really into a live tree, and I'm like, ah, you're only a kid for so many more years. And then I also got one of those, like, retro, like, white trees, which I'm excited about. So I'm gonna Have, like, a very ridiculous white. And I don't know. I don't know how I'm gonna decorate. I think we're gonna have a party, though.
Amazing.
In this house. In the last. Last party in this house.
See, I just said amazing again. I say amazing all the time.
I know, but I don't really notice it. And I don't think listeners do either. I mean, they will now, but I don't think they notice it, because if they did, they'd certainly leave us a comment about it. Like, that's true. Like, with a headline. Not amazing.
Well, I think the thing was that I was using the word awesome too much.
Okay.
So it's like, you can't use the word awesome. You're 60 years old. That's lame. And so I came up with a new word, and I didn't use my imagination very hard.
Well, amazing's not bad. I mean, I do fantastic. I like. I do. I try. Try to vary them, but, you know, don't always. Don't always get there. Don't. Don't always. Whatever. We're just talking on podcast. Nobody gives a shit. Nobody wants. First off, I know this because I had to make a very official podcast. Like, people only hear every third word that you're saying. So that if you're doing, like, a narrative podcast where you need people to hear a fact, you say it, like, three or four times. You are constantly signposting. Because people aren't really listening with podcasts. They're just like. They're doing the dishes. They're, like, driving whatever. So don't worry. They only hear every third amazing.
Okay.
That's what I would say.
That makes me feel better, because. Should we do some questions?
Yes, I think that I have some questions. Okay. Frivolous and festive holiday. Lightning round. Okay, you ready?
I am.
Marshmallows. Jumbo or mini?
Jumbo.
Jumbo. Fruitcake. Yay or nay?
Ya.
Nay. I think just nay. I think it's gross.
Okay.
I mean, you can think it's yay, but I think it's. I think it's a nay. No.
I mean, if there's no other sweet thing in the house, I'll eat some fruitcake, but really only under that circumstance.
Okay. Okay. So it's like. It's like. It's like desperation sweet.
Yes.
Okay. Tree. Real or artificial?
I'm going to say real. I mean, I have never had a tree, so I can't really say.
I'm going to say both this year. Both this year, but real always. It always has been real, but it's becoming. I'm becoming one of those old people that's like, I don't want to deal with this mess. Like, this is. This is. It dies, it starts to rot. It's a cleanup. You know, whatever. I'm just. I'm becoming an old person with, like, a fake tree you haul out every year. Okay. Hot cocoa or eggnog?
Hot cocoa.
I'm 100% eggnog person.
Eggnog is delicious.
I love eggnog. Like, I love a very, very boozy eggnog. Okay. Lights White or multicolored?
White.
Okay. I. I think mostly white, but then also multicolored. I go both. Okay. Babka chocolate or cinnamon?
Chocolate.
Chocolate. I agree. 8 small gifts or one big gift?
One big gift.
Oh, God, that's so tough. I think eight small gifts, but they have to be very carefully curated and exactly what I want.
See, that's the thing. Eight small gifts implies, like, fun, little, kind of gaggy gifts that you don't have any purpose for in your life but that, like, hang on in your home for years.
I don't know. I was thinking more like, very good socks and a, like, kitchen tool I could really use and a candle that smells really delicious. Like, that's what I was thinking.
So if you were buying yourself either one big gift or eight small gifts.
I would buy myself eight small gifts. Well, because one big gift is so much pressure.
Yeah, it is.
That's a lot of pressure to get it right. That's a lot. Okay. Elf or home alone?
Elf.
Elf. Me, too. Elf. Okay. Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Discuss.
Oh, it's been years since I saw Die Hard. I can't even remember.
I don't even. I know nothing about it. Just.
I enjoyed this lightning round.
That was really fun. We should do more. We should do more of those on our own, not make the listeners have to do it. Okay, what ponytail height is best for us at 50 plus? High, low, middle. And how can I wear a ponytail and a winter knit hat without looking bald?
I prefer a low ponytail, but I think it depends on who you are and your hair and your head.
Yes, yes.
You know, yes.
I prefer a banana clip on top of my head. That I think is the most flattering. I don't think I would do a ponytail because at this point, as discussed many times on this podcast, I don't really have the hair, like, weight for a ponytail. Like, I really. It would be a very. It'd be a doll ponytail.
The doll ponytail.
The doll ponytail. Yeah.
And it's hard. It's hard to wear a ponytail and not look like, you know, you don't have hair. That's a challenge.
Or, like, look young or like, you know, like Betty from the Archie comics. Or, you know, it's just. It's a tough. It's. It's a tough. Ponytails are tough. I'm more into, like, a chignon. Like a little. A little bun at the nape of the neck, a little bun on top. You know, I. I like those. And I like banana clips. I'm not really so into ponytails, though. If I was gonna do a ponytail, I'd do it low. But I do think a low ponytail drags your face down. The whole point of, like, pulling your hair up is you're pulling your face up, too. Just the sort of the way people look at your face. And then a knit hat and a ponytail without looking bald. I mean, I have bangs, so I don't look bald with a ponytail, but I kind of think that that looks cute. Just a hat with bald. Like, I don't think that looks bad.
Okay.
All your hair in a hat. That doesn't bother me. But what do you think? What's your. What's your. Can she look?
Well, I mean, I have this. I have this problem sometimes in the winter here in New York, where it's really cold, but my hair is having a crappy day, and I just want to pull it back. Sometimes you can pull the hat back a little so you can see your hairline.
Yeah, that's good, too. Yeah.
You know, with a certain kind of beanie. You can do that. And that helps.
Yep. Yep. Okay. Shopping online versus in stores. When do we swap convenience for supporting local businesses?
This has been on my mind ever since the election because I'm feeling less and less comfortable with my reliance on Amazon.
I know, I know, but it's hard.
I mean, it's cheap. It's so fucking fast. And, like, it isn't like, you know, Bed, Bath and Beyond doesn't exist anymore.
Yeah.
Like, there aren't these big box retailers in the city. You know, there's a Target, but the targets are not like suburban targets in New York. They're just. They're really different. And they've got a real. They really cherry pick what's in there. And you go in there and find everything the way that you can in a suburban Target.
That's right. Even here, the bad target is bad. It's a bad target. It's just like, this is a useless target. Why did you Even put this up. I, I feel the same way. I. I mean, in terms of clothes, like, there are still. And I don't know if there are in every small city in town, but I do try to shop like a well curated boutique. Like there's one in, in Silver Lake called Lake. If you can find like a well curated store. I do that. You know, even for gifts. Like, there are a couple of like, gifty shops in my neighborhood that I'm like, I. I try to buy Christmas gifts there. Yeah. Instead of buying online if you can avoid it. But like, I mean, this is it. Like, this. In some ways this is in our hands. And in some ways this is such a bigger problem than, than any of us. It's. It's so much bigger than we can even conceive of, which is like, you know, how we've allowed these companies to just be monopolies and own everything. Like, that's, that's so much for like, I was in Whole Foods the other day and I was like, oh, shit. I'm just, this is just, I'm just feeding Bezos. Like, this is just everywhere I go. It's just more to Bezos.
Yep, yep. It's really true. And it's like we are like, it is this weird like, like we're like a communist country kind of. It's like someday there's going to be just one grocery store.
Yes, yes. And the thing is like, you know, in person, like, you know, local supporting local business is different than like in person shopping. Like, I went to that Zara after I had packed so poorly. And like the Zara was all fucked up inside. And it was like in a major city in like a nice part of Chicago. Zara was all up inside. I had to do self checkout. I like missed a shirt. And then like the thing went off and the security guard came. I was like, this is not a pleasurable experience. Like, I'd much rather have done this online. It's almost like they don't want you. It's. It's so weird because there's also all these, like, in person, like, chain stores opening in my neighborhood. And I feel like, like I've never seen anybody walk into the Silver Lake apc. Right. I feel like businesses just want to say I have a store here, but they know nobody's going to shop there.
Oh, well, 100%. I mean, all the stores on Madison Avenue on the Upper east side lose money. But it's important for all those big designers to be there in that location. And in Midtown too. A lot of businesses have loss leaders like that.
Yes, but it's so stupid. I don't get it. I don't understand how the world works. It doesn't make any sense. It's dumb. But yes. And then in terms of gifts, like if you can buy experiences, if you can buy gift certificates to local restaurants for people, like, those are ways to. To get away from buying everything online.
Yep.
I mean, I have no answers. I'm just a tool too. Again, so nice to myself. Okay, what are your favorite pajamas? You have a great answer for this. I know.
I usually sleep in my Emerson Frye caftan if I'm not sleeping in them. I have some boxer shorts that I love that are kind of expensive, but they come from a brand called Ann Mashburn.
Okay.
It started in Atlanta, I think. Now they're in different places across country, but they make Liberty of London print boxer shorts.
Okay.
So I like those a lot. And I will sometimes sleep in them with like, whatever crappy T shirt is about to die.
Okay. Okay. Yeah, I. I mostly sleep in a crappy T shirt and underwear. Crappy T shirt and pajama bottoms, though. I will say I have like 3 or 4 pair of J. Crew pajamas and I like them very much. They're nice soft cotton and they fit really nice. And they're not too hot because at this point I cannot take a too hot pajama. Like, no way. I kind of think J. Crew has really good pajamas and there's always on sale. Like they're. I think I've gotten them. I think I got all the pairs for like $20. Okay. What's on your Christmas holiday list? Favorite stocking stuffers, AKA Cheap Thrills.
This is all you. Because I don't even. I don't do this.
I'm actually going to be coming out with on this on my sub stack, crazy gift list of things that I. Because Alex and I are doing having one of those years where we're like, eh, maybe we're not going to get each other presents this year. Like, let's. We don't really need it. We're moving. You know, who cares? We both really want to join the LA Athletic Club. Maybe that'll be our gift to each other, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So I'm going to make like a fantasy list of stuff. But I've seen like a bunch of like little cute things. Like there's this. Have you ever seen like a, like a wine chilling rod? It's like a stainless steel. I'm obsessed with that. There's like a very designy lemon, like, citrus juicer I'm really obsessed with. It's like a couple of cute little things I've seen recently that I'm like, oh, that's. That would be. I'd really like that. That would be like a cute gift. Like, even I don't protect my hands ever when I wash them. And, like, my hands are. I mean, not when I wash them. When I wash dishes and my hands. I looked down, I was like, jesus Christ. I look like that weird. That weird M. Night, Shallow man movie on the beach.
I know the feeling, though. I know the feeling.
Like, how did this happen? Like, it's all happening so fast. But anyway, so I. There's this, like, amazing pair of, like, kitchen, like, very cute retro, like, dishwashing gloves that I was like, that would be. I would like that as a gift. And also, I always love good socks. So anyway, I'm going to be rounding up all these stupid bullshit gifts on my Patreon at some point also, because I'm having to shop all the time for my job recently. There's also a pair of Rothy's boots that look really, really amazing, like, with a low heel. And it looks like the footbed is, like, flexible because they're made of cloth. I think they look really, really good. So that's been. I have a bunch of things, but that's some of my list. But I will point listeners to the list when it comes out. But yeah. You guys don't do gifts either, right? Isn't that a thing?
It is a thing with us. We agreed early on to just not buy each other gifts. And it works. It works really well for us. It sounds like kind of a drag, but we're both exceedingly hard to shop for.
Yeah.
And I don't know, we, you know, it's just not. I'd rather take a trip. I'd rather put it into something else.
Yeah. No, and, like, there's nothing worse, I feel. I mean, there's lots of things worse. Obviously we live in an apocalypse, but, like, there's there. I really don't like it when I can tell, like, somebody's bought me an obligatory gift. Like, I just feel like, don't. I don't want that. Like, you don't have to buy me a gift. Like, don't just.
Right.
If. If, like, you've really thought of something that you're like, yes, that. But the obligation gift, where it's just like, here's a thing that I. Because I thought I had to get you a thing. I, I, that exchange is soulless and, like, soul deadening. It makes me sad. So, you know, I don't know what I'm gonna get Alex. Even though we said we weren't going to get each other gifts, I'll probably fill up his stocking. And you know what he needs? Like, I'm gonna get him stupid. Like, he really needs a new water bottle because, like, Charlotte stole his and he never got it back. So, like, dumb little things like that, that will make his life better. He really needs new socks. I can tell he needs new socks from doing the laundry. So, like, I don't know, things like that. But also another thing that we do is we'll be like, just go spend, you know, 500 and buy yourself a couple of things. Like, just, you know.
Yep. Well, that's what I used to do with my siblings when we would go back down to Houston for the holidays, and my older brother and I would just go to the record store and, like, say, I want that one. That one and that one.
Yeah, that's fun. Cause that's also. You're, like, having fun together. But, yeah, my sister and I stopped, like, my family and I stopped exchanging gifts, except for the kids, a couple of years ago. And it's actually, it's actually really, like, pleasant to not have to come up with a gift for every single member of your family.
Yep.
We're all adults. We buy each other, we buy ourselves the things we need. We're all adults in pretty good financial shape, you know, I don't know. Gifts. I, I'd much rather spend a lot of time, like, cooking an amazing meal together and you know, and just fucking. Who cares about the gifts? Because it's always awkward, too.
Yeah, it is.
It's awkward. Okay. Seemingly all of my doctors are retiring all at once. As we age, what is the best method for finding a new doctor? And as we age, what kinds of doctors should we have in our toolbox? Dermatologist, for sure. General practitioner. Gyno. Gerontologist. Question mark.
I don't know the answer to this. I know my mom changed doctors recently, and, But I have no advice for this. It's hard. I feel like we maybe need to do a little research.
I think you have to get recommendations from friends for doctors. I think everything else is hard. Like, you can go through zocdoc, you can get, you can get something like Zocdoc and that, that can be helpful. But in terms of, like, a doctor, you're going to like. Like, I'm very pissed off right now because One Medical. Speaking of fucking Bezos, I was in One Medical, I was perfectly happy, and Bezos just bought One Medical, so now it's owned by Amazon. I don't love, like, him having access to all my medical information, you know, it's like, makes me feel very uncomfortable. But so I think that. I think that I'm also on a hunt for a new doctor. I think you have to ask friends. I think you have to get referrals. And then in terms of which doctors we should have, I mean, obviously it depends on what's going on. Like, for me, you know, I have a dermatologist. I think my new general practitioner will be combined with a gynecologist. And then I need a gastroenterologist because I have so many those problems. I don't fucking know what else. Oh, and then I see a naturopath who's like a hormone specialist. So she's like a. She's like a midwife and she's a doctor, but she's a naturopathic doctor who takes my blood work and tells me where my hormone levels are every six, three or six months. So depends on where you're at, really.
Yeah, I mean, it depends on what your issues are. I have a pulmonologist.
Right.
You know, I have a gynecologist. I love my gynecologist, and I actually kind of use her as my gp.
That's. Yeah, I feel like you can kind of do that. I mean, I'm in this collective TIA for my gynecologist, which I like very much. But when I was having all of that scary. Those bazillion scary mammograms I had to have and all that, every ultrasound and whatever MRIs that I had to have, I did not like that I didn't feel like I could talk. Like it took a while to talk to a person about results because you're just doing. We're just doing so much in portals now. It's just weird. It's weird. How much is in a portal?
It is weird. I mean, the one thing I will say is I don't have a doctor who I can't email and in some cases, text.
Right.
And I think that is, like, an incredible advancement over how it used to be.
Yes, yes, yes, yes. I agree, I agree, I agree, I agree. But portals freak me out still. Okay, let me see if there's one more. Okay. Can we cover the question of how to follow fashion trends? Is it sub stack? Is it Osmosis. How do we stay looking cool and relevant and on trend while not whilst not going broke? I thought I had this covered, but now I'm questioning it.
I mean, I don't, I don't think I've paid attention to a trend for years and years and years. But that's a different question than how to look cool and relevant.
Yes, that's right. That's right. I mean, I have like my favorite stores and I like browse them or going into stores in person, even going walking through Zara, even if I hadn't bought anything, it's just interesting to see what's happening. But no, I don't really. I don't follow trends because I don't give a shit.
Yeah, no, I haven't given a shit in quite a while.
I feel like even like my zaniest clothes are kind of kooky classic, you know, they're like 70s zany. Like, it's like I'm not looking to follow trends because I don't. Because I feel like that's kind of a young person's game to some, some degree that I just am not. I know what looks good on me.
At this point, a hundred percent.
Though I did have a feeling the other day I was like, okay, I have 40 jumpsuits and like, I don't want to be the lady wearing the loud pattern jumpsuit when that, that moment has been over for 10 years. I feel like that will be like the blue eyeshadow, you know what I mean? Like, you know when like a person like hit their stride in a certain style sector and then they're still wearing it into their 80s, which maybe that's, that's fine, I don't know.
But I think everybody to a certain degree, I've always felt this. Everybody to a certain degree dresses like the era in which they first developed a sense of style.
Yeah, that's probably true. That's probably true. That's probably true. No, you're right. I was looking at like heathers and I was like looking at, you know, just that like sort of high waisted jeans with a big black belt and like a turtleneck. I was like, oh, I will wear this till my dying day.
Yeah.
Yeah. All right, well, listen, that's it. Happy hoppy holiday season, everybody. I think we got everything. We got mostly everything in an hour of a podcast. Once again, amazing. Amazing. Thanks for listening to Everything is Fine. We're your hosts. I'm Jen Romolini.
And I'm Kim France.
If you like the show, please rate and review it across the platforms, especially Apple Apple Podcast. It helps people find the show and it makes a difference to our I don't know, our numbers, our download numbers. If you want to support the production of the show, this also makes a difference. You can join our patreon@patreon.com everythingisfine It's $3 a month. It's less than a cup of coffee. I guess you can find Kim on her substack Kim france.substack.com you can find me on Jen Romolini substack.com we are on Instagram at Eiff Podcast. We have a robust and private Facebook group, which is where we got these questions today. The show is mixed and edited by the amazing Natalie Rivera and we'll be back next week.
Kim France
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Jen Romolini
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Everything is Fine
Hosts: Jennifer Romolini and Kim France
Episode: Fight the Hot
Release Date: December 2, 2024
In the "Fight the Hot" episode, hosts Jennifer Romolini and Kim France delve into the multifaceted challenges and humorous moments that come with navigating life over 40. From personal insecurities about aging to the dynamics of long-term relationships, the episode offers a candid and relatable exploration of middle age.
The conversation kicks off with Jen and Kim discussing noticeable changes in their appearances, specifically focusing on facial features that have become more prominent with age.
Jen Romolini [02:03]: "Remember last week when you were talking about your chin and how your chin had the texture of like a strawberry, that it had like indentations or pebbled temples?"
Kim France [02:24]: "What are you gonna do? You're gonna do nothing or you're gonna do something temporary."
Jen shares her frustration with her "pebble chin," attributing it to muscle tension:
They humorously debate potential solutions, including cosmetic procedures like neck lifts, highlighting the dilemma of addressing aging concerns versus accepting natural changes.
Reflecting on their past experiences in the fashion world, Jen and Kim discuss the unrealistic body standards perpetuated by women's magazines and the impact of these standards on their self-image.
They express concern over the resurgence of ultra-skinny aesthetics fueled by trends and medications like Ozempic, fearing a backlash that could swing back to unhealthy extremes.
The hosts reminisce about their time at Lucky magazine, contrasting it with today's limited body diversity in media representations.
Moving beyond appearance, Jen shares a personal story about accompanying her 87-year-old mother to a doctor's appointment, leading to reflections on weight gain and changing appearances over time.
They discuss the emotional labor involved in significant life changes, such as moving to a new home in Woodstock, balancing personal desires with a spouse's concerns.
The dialogue touches on the complexities of maintaining relationships, managing household responsibilities, and the effort required to keep the spark alive in long-term partnerships.
As the episode progresses towards the end of the year, Jen and Kim engage in a festive lightning round, answering rapid-fire questions about their holiday preferences. This segment adds a light-hearted contrast to the deeper discussions.
Lightning Round Highlights:
The hosts discuss their recent experiences reconnecting with friends in person after the pandemic, emphasizing the importance of face-to-face interactions for emotional intimacy.
They share anecdotes about visiting friends in Woodstock and Kalamazoo, highlighting the joy and fulfillment derived from these relationships.
Jen and Kim touch upon staying relevant in fashion without obsessing over trends, advocating for timeless style over fleeting fads.
They discuss the practicality of selecting clothing that suits their personalities and body types rather than chasing the latest fashions, reinforcing the value of personal authenticity.
Wrapping up the episode, Jen and Kim encourage listeners to engage with their content through ratings, reviews, and support via Patreon. They also promote their social media presence and upcoming content, fostering a sense of community among their audience.
Jen Romolini [02:03]: "Remember last week when you were talking about your chin and how your chin had the texture of like a strawberry..."
Jen Romolini [06:23]: "I hope ultra skinny aesthetic doesn't cause a backlash and, like, the pendulum swings the other way and we're back in, in all skinny land."
Kim France [08:07]: "I felt like a giant. Like a brute."
Jen Romolini [24:21]: "It's a problem because you're already up against how do you sustain finding another person hot for decades."
"Fight the Hot" offers a heartfelt and humorous exploration of the struggles and triumphs associated with aging, body image, and maintaining meaningful relationships. Jennifer Romolini and Kim France provide insightful anecdotes and relatable discussions that resonate deeply with women navigating their 40s and beyond.
Note: This summary excludes promotional segments and advertisements to focus solely on the episode's content.