Hello C*nty!

Summary

Episode Summary: "Hello C*nty!" – Everything is Fine Podcast

Release Date: December 16, 2024

In this compelling episode of "Everything is Fine," hosts Jennifer Romolini and Kim France delve deep into the nuanced experiences of women navigating life over 40. Titled "Hello C*nty!", the episode explores themes ranging from cognitive changes associated with menopause to the complexities of maintaining long-term friendships and personal relationships. Through candid conversations, personal anecdotes, and insightful reflections, Jen and Kim offer listeners a relatable and enriching dialogue on embracing the liberating yet challenging stages of midlife.

Key Discussions and Insights

1. Memory and Menopause: Navigating Cognitive Shifts

The episode opens with Jennifer Romolini expressing frustration over the cognitive effects of menopause. Jen shares a vivid metaphor, stating, “[02:07] Post menopause, it's just like a fucking smooth brain,” highlighting the perceived dulling of mental vibrancy. The hosts discuss the dichotomy between pre and post-menopausal cognitive states, pondering whether erasing negative memories could alter one’s identity.

Notable Quote:

Jen Romolini [02:07]: “Post menopause, it's just like a fucking smooth brain. Just like no vibrancy.”

2. Reflections on Time and Memory Fade

Kim France reminisces about her boarding school days, struggling with fading memories over the past 45 years. The conversation touches on the natural loss of vivid memories and the emotional impact of not recalling past experiences in full color.

Notable Quote:

Kim France [03:04]: “I picture them not in black and white, but not in color. Really? And then I realized, oh, it's cause they're fading.”

3. Cinematic Conversations: Sharing Favorite Films

The hosts transition to discussing beloved movies such as "Rachel Getting Married," "Margot at the Wedding," and Robert Altman's "A Wedding." These films serve as a backdrop for exploring themes of dysfunctional relationships and personal growth. Jen shares her humorous ordeal of purchasing a trendy "Baba sweater," emphasizing the pitfalls of following fashion trends blindly.

Notable Quote:

Jen Romolini [06:02]: “It's a wool prison. It's like a very tight prison made of wool and I hate wearing it.”

4. Weather's Impact on Mood and Well-being

Kim France opens up about how the oppressive weather in New York adversely affects her mood, contrasting it with the more temperate climate of Houston where she grew up. This segues into a broader discussion on seasonal affective disorder and how environmental factors influence mental health.

Notable Quote:

Kim France [11:05]: “It's really ugly here right now and it's been so fucking cold. And it really, like, it really 100% affects my mood.”

5. Dealing with Death and Emotional Turmoil

A poignant segment centers on Jen’s experience with the unexpected death of a childhood friend's mother. Both hosts empathize with the profound sense of loss and the existential anxiety it brings, reflecting on the fragility of relationships and the impending loss that comes with aging parents.

Notable Quote:

Jen Romolini [12:40]: “I don't want this generation of people to die. I don't want people’s parents to die. I don't. I don't want this.”

6. Navigating Long-Term Friendships and Estrangement

Jen and Kim explore the challenges of maintaining long-term friendships, especially when partners enter the picture. They discuss strategies for reconnecting with estranged friends and handling situations where a friend's new partner is difficult to get along with.

Notable Quote:

Kim France [39:16]: “Sometimes, in addition to somebody having a partner you can't stand, that person also really wants to hang out as couples.”

7. Personal Growth and Self-Reflection

The conversation shifts to self-assessment and legacy. Jen shares her desire to be remembered as a good person, balancing this aspiration against past mistakes and the difficulty of repairing all strained relationships.

Notable Quote:

Jen Romolini [17:23]: “I want people to say, she was a really good person. That's, that's really the legacy I want to leave behind.”

8. Beauty and Skincare: Listener Questions Answered

Addressing listener inquiries, Jen provides detailed advice on establishing a balanced skincare routine. She emphasizes the importance of using products like vitamin C twice daily and incorporating exfoliants a few times a week to maintain skin health without overcomplicating the regimen.

Notable Quote:

Jen Romolini [46:16]: “Use like an acid-based exfoliant. You can use that three or four nights a week.”

9. Handling Difficult Relationships: Mean Girls and Beyond

A significant portion of the episode is devoted to strategies for dealing with "mean girls" or challenging individuals without escalating conflicts. The hosts advocate for disengagement, setting boundaries, and maintaining composure to preserve one’s peace of mind.

Notable Quote:

Kim France [37:05]: “The trick with a mean girl is just to not engage. To smile and nod.”

Listener Engagement and Community Building

Throughout the episode, Jen and Kim interact with listener questions sourced from their private Facebook group, addressing real-life concerns with empathy and practical advice. They emphasize the importance of community support, expressing heartfelt gratitude for their listeners’ engagement and support.

Notable Quote:

Kim France [58:39]: “It just means so much to me.”

Conclusion: Embracing Imperfection and Gratitude

As the episode wraps up, the hosts encourage listeners to rate and review the podcast, fostering a sense of community and shared journey. They highlight the significance of mutual support and express their appreciation for the listeners who make the podcast a meaningful space for dialogue and connection.

Notable Quote:

Jen Romolini [59:59]: “Thank you all very, very much. And yeah, the fact that you're out there makes everything better.”

Final Thoughts

"Hello C*nty!" offers a raw and authentic exploration of the myriad emotions and challenges that come with midlife. Through their candid conversations, Jen and Kim create a safe space for listeners to reflect on their own experiences, find solace in shared struggles, and embrace the complexities of aging with humor and grace. This episode stands as a testament to the power of friendship and community in navigating the ever-evolving landscape of life over 40.

Transcript

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[Kim France]

Hi and welcome to Everything is Fine, a podcast for women over 40. We are your hosts. I'm Kim France.

[Jen Romolini]

And I'm Jen Romolini.

[Kim France]

And Jen, I just don't feel like I have shit to say today.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, man, it happens. It happens. Nothing to say. I saw a video yesterday of what happens to the menopausal brain. And it was like pre menopause, it's like lit up in like a rainbow of colors. And like post menopause, it's just like a fucking smooth brain. Just like no vibrancy. Like, nobody's studying this shit, but like our brains are fucked. I'm like, I'm like, I can't remember anything. I still am like, am I demenced? Like, it's, it's a, it's a. It's a living nightmare.

[Kim France]

You know, this week I'm trying to write about when I was at boarding school.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, interesting.

[Kim France]

And when I first got there after Texas. From Texas. And when I think about memories that old. Cause that's almost 45 years ago. I picture them not in black and white, but not in color. Really?

[Jen Romolini]

Totally.

[Kim France]

And for the longest time I couldn't figure out why that would be. They were in color. They were as much in color as today is in color. And then I realized, oh, it's cause they're fading.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh. Oof. I mean, yeah, I think so. Sure. I honestly. And somebody wrote a review of my book saying that I was just young enough to remember, you know, Like, I really believe that. I don't know if I could have written that book with the same detail. I mean, I have journals and stuff, but with the same detail that I wrote it even three years ago. Like, I don't think I would have had that same, same clarity because it's just, you know, you keep living the brain also, there's just no room for it. It's like a storage unit. Right? Like at a certain point you got to get rid of some shit in order to bring new memories in. We just, we're living longer than we were supposed to live. Like that's just the story.

[Kim France]

Like this is a good premise for a movie. Like what if like there was our brains got taken over, you know, or became robot brains or something and you had to have a one in, one out memory policy?

[Jen Romolini]

Well, I mean, it's kind of like. Well no, it's not quite like Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, which is still. I watched that last year. It's fucking amazing movie. It's such a good movie. But that's just about having your memory erased. It's not about choosing which memories you would choose to let go of. Although that's not that hard. There's a million things that we choose.

[Kim France]

To let go of. I mean, you're right.

[Jen Romolini]

Like literally I think I would let go of like 70. Like all my shame every time. I like was just an asshole because I'm just like too disruptive and I'm too, you know, I'm too intense, you know.

[Kim France]

But maybe those memories balance you out.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, maybe.

[Kim France]

And make you the person you are. Maybe it would be bad to get rid of all the shit memories.

[Jen Romolini]

I mean. Yeah. Who would want to be too confident?

[Kim France]

Not me, that's for sure. You know what movie I watched last night again?

[Jen Romolini]

Which movie? You have plenty to talk about. Which movie?

[Kim France]

Kim France, Rachel getting married.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, I haven't seen that in so long. How's it hold up?

[Kim France]

It holds up great. It holds up fantastic. In a way. It holds up better now than it did when it came out, I think.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, I remember really loving that movie. Another movie I really love similar is Margot at the Wedding, which is Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh. I haven't seen that in so long. It's so, so good. I love a dysfunctional wedding movie. Love it.

[Kim France]

Yep.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes.

[Kim France]

There's also the Robert Altman movie A Wedding, which is not one of his, like movies that anybody ever talks about, but which I really loved.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I'm sorry, I'm so distracted because I'm staring at this. This sweater in my, in the, on the screen. My new, my new purchase that I hate. And I'm hate wearing this sweater. I waited. I've been waiting. Because every fucking middle aged influencer is like, baba sweater. It can't even pronounce that. Baba. Whatever it is. B, A, B, A, A. It's a Spanish fucking Sweater. And they're $400. I did not spend $400, but I was like, I need. I saw it like last week. Everyone was like, cup of Joe just recommended this and somebody else fucking recommended this. And I was, must know, I must know about this baba sweater. So I went on ebay and I was like, okay, I'm finding a sweater and I bought it and it came and I'm like, really? This is it. This is the fucking sweater. It's like it's one size, right? So you don't have a choice of size. And so it kind of fits. Like it's short on my arms. It's like it's not. The wool is like, like not soft and like kind of itchy and like it's not great. Although it looks fucking great in this, in the, in this, in the zoom. I am like, oh, it looks great, but it's really misshapen and uncomfortable. Anyway, nobody do what I did, which was like, buy a ba ba sweater. I hate wearing it because you can't return it once you buy on ebay. That is the one thing.

[Kim France]

Is that true you can't return on ebay?

[Jen Romolini]

It depends. Like, I got this for kind of a song. Like, it depends on the seller. And like sometimes if you, if you, if you're paying like a regular, some sellers will let you return, but some sellers, if you like under bid or whatever, I don't know if that's why. But some sellers just don't let you return. And I did. I bid super low. And this person smartly gave away this. Fucking weird. It's like a wool prison.

[Kim France]

See, it looks like a normal sweater to me, except you keep raising your arms as if to say, help.

[Jen Romolini]

It's not great. It's just. Don't you hate that when somebody. Like, I hate it with anything. When someone's hyped a product, when someone hyped a thing, a book, anything. And I read it or I use it, or I try it on and I'm like, what are you talking about? I feel crazy when that happens.

[Kim France]

Yeah, I feel bad because maybe I'm that person hyping things.

[Jen Romolini]

Gee, do you hype things that suck? I try not to.

[Kim France]

I really try not to. Sometimes something sucks and I don't know it. Like, I see a really cute pair of sweatpants or something and, you know, I usually read to see what something's made of before I post it and various other things. But you just don't know.

[Jen Romolini]

Sometimes you just don't know. And it is, to be fair, Like, I have. I have freakishly long arms. Like, I have small hands, small feet, and freakishly long arms that. These are my deformities. And I. There's very few things that, like, reach all the way down to my wrist. And it is a pet peeve of mine that I'm always, like, trying to stretch things to move them down. So it's like, you know, especially with skincare and with clothes, it's hard to recommend things that are going to work for every. Everybody. And I always try to give that caveat, you know, Like, I really like that color. Wow. Anti frizz spray. And like, people on our Facebook group was like, what are you talking about? Yeah, like, it worked for me. Like, I can only attest to that, you know?

[Kim France]

Yeah. No, it's true. It's true. Not everything works for everyone. It's why I don't post more pants or jeans on my sub stack.

[Jen Romolini]

How. How could you? Pants.

[Kim France]

You know, it's too fucking hard. It's too fucking hard. And everybody's body is different. And I used to hate it at Lucky when the fashion editors would be like, the fit on these jeans is so great. And I would be like, for you.

[Jen Romolini]

Especially, there is a particular body type. And God love you, no judgment, but there's a particular body type that is just straight and thin and just looks good in any clothes. Cause it's like a hanger.

[Kim France]

Yep.

[Jen Romolini]

Right. And they just look good and like, pants. Yeah, pants are impossible. Speaking of, I am right now sitting with my pants unbuttoned. I'm wearing this very cute pair of Wild Fang. Like, they're like a jeans denim trouser with like a. A nice straight, wide leg, but just can't. Can't not sit in pants.

[Kim France]

See? And I'm wearing. I should say them for our best of issue, but I'm wearing. I'm wearing these pants I got that I love.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, all right. Are you gonna. Are you gonna gatekeep those pants that you love?

[Kim France]

I'm not. I'm just gonna go and look on the website really quick so I can. So I can tell you what, you could save them.

[Jen Romolini]

You could save them for best of the year. We're doing everyone. We're doing Best of the year next week.

[Kim France]

Yeah, we're gonna do best of the year next week. That's right. I'll save it for that.

[Jen Romolini]

Save it for that, Save it for that. How's your week? I haven't talked to you all week. How's your week?

[Kim France]

My week is okay. My week is pretty good. You know, it's. You know, I know I always talk about the weather, but it's just fucking ugly here right now. And it's been so fucking cold. And it's not cold right now, but it's ugly. And it really, like. I mean.

[Jen Romolini]

I know.

[Kim France]

I mean. But the thing is, it really affects my mood. It really 100% affects my mood.

[Jen Romolini]

My husband, too. This is why he doesn't wanna move back to the East Coast. It really affects his mood. I don't care. But some people, it just really. It really does. I wonder if that's because you grew up in Houston and it wasn't the same.

[Kim France]

It stormed a lot in Houston. It rained a lot in Houston. There were always tropical depressions, hurricane warnings.

[Jen Romolini]

And it's not the same as the cold, though.

[Kim France]

It's not the same as the cold. And I hadn't. And that's another thing I've trying to write about this week is like, what it was like to experience the cold for the first time when I went away.

[Jen Romolini]

And white sky too, right? Like, white sky. Yeah, that's a thing. That's what Alex always brings up as like a seasonal affective disorder thing for him. He's just like, it's the white sky that really gets him. Cause I guess they didn't have that in San Francisco.

[Kim France]

Yeah, no, I mean, I don't think I grew up with the white sky. The Way you get in winter when everything just looks like the color of the sidewalk and you just wanna.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes.

[Kim France]

Run into traffic or something. Not really. Not really.

[Jen Romolini]

Not really. Not really at all. Speaking of depressing things, just people are dying. I had.

[Kim France]

I know.

[Jen Romolini]

My former best childhood friend, like, whose mother I grew up with, like, was always at their house, always around. This woman died unexpectedly last week. And I went into, like, a crazy person spiral. Like, I really felt. Not crazy person. That's ableist. But like, I really spiraled out. Like, I really felt unstable with this death. It really freaked me out. It was just like. I mean. And of course this is what's going to be happening. I mean, I'm. We're lucky that as many of our parents are still around as they are, like. But it feels very strange to start having people's parents die and that layer be gone.

[Kim France]

Well, and I think that's a lot of what it is. I think that's a lot of what it is. That layer of people provides some kind of stability for us, whether we realize it or not. And when that's messed with, I think it can really fuck you up.

[Jen Romolini]

Well, yeah, because you're like, oh, I'm next in line.

[Kim France]

I'm next in line. And also there's no more protection somehow.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes, Yes. I was so dysregulated by this news, which I got via text. And I'm not even talking to this person right now. This, this friend whose mom died, that I booked a ticket, like, within, like 15 minutes. I was like, I'm booking a ticket. I'm just going. I'm just gonna arrive at this funeral and just, you know, it was gonna be crazy. I was gonna take a red eye and then I. Cause I had to get back for some commitment. I was gonna come back within 24. It was way, way, way over the top, like, impulsive, like I haven't been in years. But it was just, I, I, I felt the loss so deeply and I felt the loss for my friend so deeply. You know, it felt it. Even if we're estranged right now. I really, I felt it so much. And then, you know, Alex had been working all day and he came home from, from working and he was like, what are you going to do? And I was like, well, I'm going to just, you know, get on a plane. He was like, he was like, come on. He was like, that's too much. He was like, send a gift basket. We're adults. Like, this is, this is you living in, like a childlike rom com. He Was like, you know, he was like, you can't. He was like, that's not an appropriate thing to do. But I went back to being a kid. It's weird. Yeah, it's weird. It was weird. I don't want people to die. I don't want this generation of people to die. I don't want people's parents to die. I don't. I don't want this. All this. I don't want it. I just don't want it.

[Kim France]

I know. I mean, I was telling you before we came on the air about how I might have to take a trip down to Houston soon to visit a friend of my mom's who's gotten very ill, very seriously ill. And she was a person who was so important to me when I was growing up and such a role model to me and showed me that there were interesting people in the world. And it wasn't that Houston could be interesting, you know, because of people like her. And I look at. There are these photos I love of this friend Marilyn with my mom, when my mom and Marilyn were in the 70s, you know, and they both just look so cute and so, like, hip and so young. And it just. It freaks me out. It freaks me out because it also, you know, the same way that realizing I went to high, you know, I went away to boarding school for 45 years ago, freaks me out.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, my God. It's just like, how are we even supposed to wrap our heads around how long we've been on the planet?

[Kim France]

It's kind of true. I mean, I really feel that way. I really feel that way. And, you know, I've been thinking about people I'm not in touch with anymore. Like when I was. I have one, you know, one person I would get in touch with out of the people I went to boarding school with, you know, who I haven't heard from or hasn't heard from me in over a decade, just. Cause I wanted to remember, like a detail about going to school. Like, did we have to go check in with the dorm parents every night or just on weekends when we came in for the night? And I couldn't remember for the life of me. And I was like, I gotta reach out to this person and ask her.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, that was the whole thing with my friend's mom. I mean, I immediately reached out to him and I was like, I'm so sorry. And even though we're not talking, like I didn't care. It was just like, yeah. But then I was like, well, how Did. Why did we throw 30 years of friendship away? Like, that's been the thing that's been, like, going through my mind, you know, like, because after. How could.

[Kim France]

Because after 30 years, people often change.

[Jen Romolini]

I know, I know. And like, you're not getting what you need out of the relationship and you don't know how to talk about it because the patterns have been set so long ago and, you know, you've disappointed each other or spouses. That's one of the listener questions today. Like, you know, partners. There's incompatibility with people's spouses. And like, you know, it's like, it's quite a lot.

[Kim France]

I went walking with a friend who lives in the neighborhood this week, and she was talking about a friendship that has, you know, she has. That has been estranged and how she ran into the person. And how nice it was to run into the person.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah.

[Kim France]

How nice it was to run into the person. Even if there was no acknowledgement that there would be anything after that, that the friendship was going to continue. But something about being able to bury the bad feelings.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Bury the bad feeling. Yeah. Just so it's like clean and smooth and maybe you're not part of each other's lives anymore, but there's, you know, it doesn't feel. Feel like that itchiness and that unresolved feeling and like, ugly, you know?

[Kim France]

Yeah.

[Jen Romolini]

I don't know. Like, I was on this. I was on this podcast last week, which I was really excited to be on. It's called the Good Life Project. I've listened to it a million times and, you know, at the. The last question they ask people is, you know, what. What me? What is a good life to you? And I was like, when I die, I want people to say, she was a really good person. Like, that's, that's really the, the legacy I want to leave behind. But like, at the same time, I've let so many fucking people down in my life, like, without meaning to. I've done so many fucked up things just, you know, by being clumsy in the world. I've tried to repair those things, but sometimes you just can't. And that is the fucking suck of it all, is that, you know, you just can't fix it.

[Kim France]

Well, I know, and I feel. I have felt that many times in my life, especially in my adult life, and especially after I, you know, went through my troubles, you know, when I wasn't sure, you know, I was not sure in all cases if I. Who I had offended and how I Had offended them or what I had said or how I had hurt someone.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes.

[Kim France]

You know, I. And I've just realized I have to live with that. I just live with that. I've kind of accepted it. I won't know I was. And then there are the things I do know, you know, then there are all the things I do remember.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, but. Yeah, like not knowing what people needed from you, not having the courage to clarify. Not having the courage to have a confrontation with somebody, a healthy confrontation, and say, hey, that really hurt my feelings. And instead just avoiding them, you know, like, instead I. That's a magic move of mine, you know, just like, oh, this person's on punishment. I'm not. I don't know how to talk about this, so I'm going to run away.

[Kim France]

Well, but the other thing is sometimes there is not going to be any talking it through with someone.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, I know.

[Kim France]

Sometimes that's the whole problem is that there isn't going to. There's no way to resolve.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes. Because the person. You're not in the same places or the person doesn't have the capacity to resolve, or that's not what the person wants out of the friendship is like a heavy thing where you have to resolve things. They just want you to be a different kind of thing. Yeah, they want you to. They want you to be something that you're not. And like that. That also sucks because maybe you entered into the relationship as something else or you didn't even know yourself well enough to know what your needs were. Being alive, man, I know it's a.

[Kim France]

Lot, but I think that. I do think that you get judged cumulatively.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah. You know, let's hope so.

[Kim France]

Let's hope that you get, you know, and I don't know who is doing the judging, but like, in general that, you know, you get judged by who you became rather than who you were. Maybe. Maybe.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look, the. The. The most intimate relationship in my life, honestly, is the one that I have with my child. Right. And I mean, I. So I feel like I have an accurate assessment of who I am. And like, the other day I was like, oh, go fuck off to the kid something. Right? And like. But I know how much I show up for that kid. And I know that, like, we agree I'm about a B. I'm like a.

[Kim France]

B minus sometimes, as you know, I say there's nothing wrong with bringing your B game.

[Jen Romolini]

Nothing wrong with bringing your B game. And I think that actually the relationship I have with my kid, it really does Mirror back, like, all of my strengths and my weaknesses, you know, so I can sort of accurately assess myself. And I'm like, okay, that's what I am. I'm flawed. I'm imperfect, but I'm. I show up when it matters, and, you know, I can accept these imperfections, you know.

[Kim France]

I would just like to suggest that Charlotte might not know what to do with an A mom.

[Jen Romolini]

That's actually weirdly what Charlotte said to me last night. Really? Charlotte was like. Charlotte was like, you're the best mom. For me, it's perfect. I was like, great. That's fantastic. And I was like, I wouldn't want a different kid. We've been having a really. We've been having some good times. We've been. It's finals week. I've been helping them study. I really don't know shit about shit. Like, that is really what you learn. I'm like, I'll help you make the flashcards, but, man, I don't know anything about biology.

[Kim France]

Like, no. I mean, I could. I could help with English. I could maybe help with, you know, the predictable things, but I couldn't help somebody with math or science of any kind.

[Jen Romolini]

The thing is, you think you could help with English, and then you get into, like, sentence. Like, different types of sentences, and you're like, I don't know. I'm out. I'm out. I, like, understand the rhythm of how this sentence should work, but I don't know the rules.

[Kim France]

Well, I never understood. I always had an instinctive understanding of sentences, like, you probably did, too, but I didn't. What did they call it when you had to graph the sentences?

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, don't even. Yes, I know. Absolutely. I know what you're talking about. I don't know what it's called, but absolutely. I mean, like, I know what a noun and a verb and an adjective.

[Kim France]

Are, but an adverb, maybe not.

[Jen Romolini]

And, like, kind of like I use a semicolon. Like, maybe the right way really does show that people should work at their strength. Like, it's just. It's a sort of natural talent understanding language. Like, but it is not. I don't understand the rules.

[Kim France]

No, me neither.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah. Yeah. I've been enjoying. I've been enjoying motherhood, which is the. Like, ask me next week. But I've been enjoying motherhood a lot for the last, like, two weeks because the kid is, like, such. Such a dork, but also, like, a. Like, you know, a good hang. You know, like, okay, let's go do this. Let's go do that, like, you start to see how this is going to play out. Like, you have with your stepson. You start to see, like, oh, it's just gonna be a person.

[Kim France]

Yeah. No, they're gonna be a person.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah. Like, it's just a real, Like, a person. So, yeah, I've been. I've been an upswing for which. After. Which after, like, three years of tweendom, you know, has been a. Has been nice for this week.

[Kim France]

It's your reward for three years of tweendom.

[Jen Romolini]

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. So I finished. Have you finished? No, you haven't finished because you didn't.

[Kim France]

Somebody somewhere. I'm being such a good stepmother because Walden watched industry with me from the beginning so that, like. So that we could watch it together. So I told him I would do the same thing for somebody somewhere. So we're almost done with the second step, but I'm dying because I just feel like there's. I mean, already just there. Not that it's a show with spoilers, necessarily, but, like, just from being in the culture, like, things have seeped in.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes, yes.

[Kim France]

You know, and I am. And I am dying to see it, and I just.

[Jen Romolini]

Well, it's only seven seasons. It's only seven episodes, so you're gonna be through it fast. Yeah, it's a perfect show. Like, I really. I have not one complaint about it, I think, and this season is a perfect season. And I cried at the last two episodes. Like, just sobbed, really. I can't believe what she pulled off. Not cried because it's so sad, but just cried at how human it is and without hitting you over the head. It's so subtle in so many ways. There's an episode, you'll get into it, where there's a lot about how she's feeling about her body, but it's so gentle and subtle and not like, this is the episode about body image.

[Kim France]

Right. It's a really humane show. It's the most humane show, I think, since high. What was it called? The one about the pot dealer? High maintenance.

[Jen Romolini]

High maintenance. High maintenance. High maintenance, yeah. Such a great. It really is. Yes. And their relationships and the friendships. Like, honestly, like, that's. I wish I could live in. In their world. Like, I wish I could be all of their friend. I want to hang out with them. I want to do all the things they're doing together. I love them all, and I just am. It's just such an accomplishment. And, you know, people are like, oh, but I don't want it to be over. And Bridget Everett's like, yeah, that was it. This was it. We did it. You know, what we wanted to do.

[Kim France]

I love that so much. And they need. They do it a lot in England, where a show is good and they run it for two or three seasons and that's it. And here we just beat the dead horse. I have given. I have given Bad Sisters another chance, okay?

[Jen Romolini]

And I'm liking it better.

[Kim France]

I mean, there's a death that doesn't ruin anything to say there's a death.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay.

[Kim France]

And that kind of got me interested again.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay. I mean, yeah, sure, sure. I don't know where I'm going to go next with television. I need to sort. Really need to sort that out. Or maybe I should read one goddamn book from start to finish.

[Kim France]

Oh, my God. I was thinking, because we've been, as we've been saying, we're gonna do our year end episode, and I'm like, what the fuck did I even read this year?

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, my God, I've been dreading. I can't believe you said that. I've been dreading it so much. I'm like, did I read one book this year?

[Kim France]

That's how I feel.

[Jen Romolini]

I know that I must have read a book. I know I read a book this year, but I really. It's been a real. It's been a real light goddamn reading year. I gotta be honest, like.

[Kim France]

Yeah, me too.

[Jen Romolini]

Not a good one. Not good in any way. But I'm hoping with my. When I take my big. My big weed break, which. Because I gotta get this brain. I gotta just get this brain stimulated somehow, something's gonna happen. I'm hoping I will start reading again. I know. Love my phone.

[Kim France]

I know. Me too.

[Jen Romolini]

I love my phone.

[Kim France]

I read on my phone. I read books on my phone. I find to be a very satisfying way to read a book.

[Jen Romolini]

I do not read books on my phone. I read bullshit on my phone. I read about the. Which we should probably not talk about because it's probably very controversial to talk about Luigi on the.

[Kim France]

Oh, yes. We better not.

[Jen Romolini]

We better not touch Luigi. But I've read everything about Luigi on my phone and every. I've seen every meme. I have entire, like, textbook threads going about Luigi. Like, I've spent. I could have read an entire novel in the time I've spent invested in Luigi.

[Kim France]

Yeah, well.

[Jen Romolini]

Wow. It's a very compelling story. What are you gonna do?

[Kim France]

It is a very compelling story. It really is.

[Jen Romolini]

Compelling story. Not gonna talk about where I stand on it, but very compelling.

[Kim France]

No, me neither.

[Jen Romolini]

Let's take a quick break from some ads. Support for Everything is Fine comes from Ritual did you know that in the winter time your skin tends to dry out? Of course you knew. That is a tough time retaining moisture. Even if you're keeping up a big multiple step skincare routine, your skin gets drier, it looks a little crepier, a little more wrinkly. Well with Ritual's Hyac skin supplement you can actually help fight that dryness. It's a clinically proven way to support skin hydration with science backed benefits like reducing wrinkles and improving skin smoothness. I love Ritual. I've been using Ritual for years now. I use their multivitamin, I use their melatonin and I use hair which I find is a really easy thing to add to my routine. The they taste good. Hiacera tastes good, it doesn't smell bad. It's aesthetically pleasing packaging. I I think that these are just stellar supplements. Hyacra itself in a clinical study led to a 2.9 time increase in skin smoothness within 90 days as compared to a placebo. So you could enhance your skin care routine from the inside out with one capsule enhanced with soothing vanilla as well. So there's definitely some vanilla in there. It's also rigorously tested and validated by a third party for allergens, microbes and heavy metals. Ritual works with world class certification bodies to validate their products and they they have industry leading sustainability standards which I really love. So start high as Sarah today to support your glow without compromising on clean science. Hi a Sarah from Ritual is a clinically proven skin supplement you can actually trust. Get 25 off your first month for a limited [e-mail] fine that's ritual.com fine for 25% off your first month.

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[Jen Romolini]

And we're back. Oh, I wrote an interesting story this week. I had to research and I did way too much researching for it. I was assigned a story on Botox alternatives, and I was like, there's no fucking Botox alternative.

[Kim France]

Right?

[Jen Romolini]

So I was like, okay, I'm gonna interview six dermatologists and I'm gonna see. Will anybody tell me there's a Botox alternative? And no, I mean, there's a bunch of skin care and like, peptides are apparently a really big thing and growth factors you should be using. And retinol, obviously. And like, you can like. And like red light therapy at home. Red light therapy, but like, if you want to zap a wrinkle, it's a neurotoxin all the way. Like, yeah, somebody actually said there's nothing. Nada. Yeah, but it was, it was. I've been, I've been, I've been doing a lot of reporting because I, I need to keep myself engaged in this. And if not, I know I'm going to get bored if I don't, like, if I, if I don't, like, find out new information. I have to keep myself engaged because if not, I'll. I'll start hating my job. And I don't want that to happen. So if anyone's interested, I'll link it to the show notes when it's published. I think it's a. It's a pretty good. It's a pretty good and expansive and way overstuffed with quote story.

[Kim France]

I just want to know where to go in New York to get my lips done. That's what that I want to go get done.

[Jen Romolini]

I know. I do want, I really want to do. I want to do some filler in my chest. I feel like that's going to change my whole. Change my whole life. And I also want to try this thing called softwave. I'm sure somebody has tried this in our listenership. Please tell me in the Facebook group if you have. But apparently it's supposed to. It's one of those, like, you know, in office. Radio frequency laser treatment. Whatever. It's supposed to improve the appearance of the. Your chin and jowls and neck. Really lift all that up. Yes.

[Kim France]

I want soft wave. I want soft wave so I can stop doing this gesture every time I look in the mirror.

[Jen Romolini]

Same. That is my favorite gesture. You know that there are celebrities and I'm not going to say who, but who on the red carpet who refuse to get. Refused to get surgery done, who literally have tape. I believe that, like behind their ears just to. Because you could just tape this shit up.

[Kim France]

Yeah.

[Jen Romolini]

And it would just. This is. I mean, this could be achieved with tape.

[Kim France]

Yeah. Or a very tight ponytail. Seriously. Madonna used to wear very tight ponytails, and I think that was one of the reasons why.

[Jen Romolini]

But not for the neck. Maybe for the sides.

[Kim France]

For here.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes. Yes. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I don't know. I'd have to. I'm unwilling to pull my hair that tight because I'll lose like 50 strands if I do that. So I'm willing to pull. Too tight. What? What? I believe that is my entire list. The shitty sweater. Should we. Should we answer some listener questions is. Unless you have more on your list.

[Kim France]

Oh, I don't have fuck all on my list.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay, fantastic. You know what's good is that we make a podcast. The requirement for which is talking.

[Kim France]

I know, but everybody. Everybody prefers, or most everybody that we hear from prefers when it's just the two of us.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, yeah. No, I'm not. I'm not worried. I'm not worried at all. I'm not worried. I'm not worried about people. We have the kind of podcast that I like listening to, which is just two people talking shit. Okay. How to strategically deal with grown up mean girls when you can't just cut them out and direct confrontation will only poke the bear and make the situation worse. I need a good chess move.

[Kim France]

I think the first thing is not to think about it in terms of strategy. And if you say I need a chess move, it sounds like you're engaging with the mean girls.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes.

[Kim France]

And the trick with a mean girl is just to not engage. Yes, to not engage. To smile and nod. To not let them know that they're saying or doing anything that's affecting you negatively.

[Jen Romolini]

I think I was gonna say kill them with kindness. That's always. Just smile. Fuck the whole way through. Like. Yeah, grin, fucking. Oh, sounds great. That's awesome. Because if they're mean. Well, first off, let's just Be really adult and mature about this. Mean girls are suffering like everybody else is suffering. They've just, like, they haven't grown enough, done enough work to, like, process their bullshit so that they're not, like, spewing it all over everybody else. Right. So it's like if you can find in your heart the compassion to be like, wow, that person is really fucked up. If they weren't, they wouldn't be such a dick. Right. So that's. You start there, and then it's kind of like just like the best. You can ignore them.

[Kim France]

Yeah.

[Jen Romolini]

And if they're your boss. I mean, if they're your boss or they're like a family member, limit as interactions as much as you can. Set boundaries and just be nice to the point of, you know, over the top.

[Kim France]

Yep, I agree. Nice. Nice. To the point where they're suspecting that you're fucking with them.

[Jen Romolini]

That's a little bit of my strategy, which is cunty, but that is a little bit of what I do, but that you have to be careful of. I think we should go back to this strategy of yours, which is disengage. And don't think of it as a strategy.

[Kim France]

Yep. Yep. Okay. Good.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay. All right. How do you handle it when a dear friend is partnered with someone you can't stand. Inviting the friend to do things without the partner feels rude after a while. And yet spending time with the partner is so unpleasant. And I want to shake sense into my friend, but I fear damaging that relationship as she is clearly crazy about the partner.

[Kim France]

Ugh, this is such a hard one. This is such a hard one because sometimes, in addition to somebody having a partner you can't stand, that person also really wants to hang out as couples.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, God, yes.

[Kim France]

And there's no way to say, I've thought about it. Like, I've actually thought about this. Or any way to say, like, I don't like him so much. Can we just hang out alone? You can't. There's no way that's ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever acceptable.

[Jen Romolini]

Never accept. Until, until. And even then, until they're broken up. If they ever break up, when they're broken up and really far, like, permanently broken up, because then they could always get back together and your. The shit talk will haunt you.

[Kim France]

Yep.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, I mean, it's just. It's kind of like maybe you throw, like, you throw, like, one to them. You know, like, let's all hang out this weekend, and then you see your friend three times without the other person. Like, that's Kind of maybe try to get that balance. But you have to have or have them over with like a buffer. Like, have them over. Yeah, party.

[Kim France]

That's a good idea. Yeah, that's a really good thought.

[Jen Romolini]

And if you're close enough to the buffer, be like, look, I hate this dude, but, like, can you help me?

[Kim France]

And plus, anybody can get through most anything for a couple hours. And if it's true, if it's a person you value in your life and who you don't want to hurt, then just suck it up. Deal with the person you can't stand.

[Jen Romolini]

I gotta say, though, it is rare at this age to like, have a friend who's involved with a dude our age or older that I'm like, impressed by the dude. I know this is a thing I talk about all the time, but, like, I have this newish friend and I was like, hanging out with her and her husband a couple, whatever. I'm not gonna say. And I was like, ew, he's mansplaining me. He's being weird with her. Like, there's so many dynamics with men of our generation as they're aging that I'm like, this is. This is not fun for me. This man is not fun to be around. Like, it is a real. Like, it is more often I find as we're getting older, it's a problem more often than it's not. Like, I love Paul. I could talk to Paul for 400 years. But, like, that is rarely the case.

[Kim France]

That's really interesting. That's really interesting. I'm thinking about that.

[Jen Romolini]

Condescending. I just, you know.

[Kim France]

Yeah, I get it.

[Jen Romolini]

I had somebody, like, telling. Telling me how. How I had somebody who, like, is not really a writer, like, telling me how writing is, like, telling me how it is. I feel like those men are just always telling me how it is. I'm like, I don't. First off, I'm here for your wife. I don't give a shit about your fucking opinion. But also, don't weigh in on something that I know much more than you and act like an authority. I mean, this is too ranty, but, like, it's a thing that I've really noticed and dynamics that were set young with people, you know, when women were in their, like, 20s or something, these long term marriages, and they're still in that dynamic of, you know, they're there, like pat on the head kind of thing. Not, not interested in being mansplained. Like, especially by, you know, just not interested generally.

[Kim France]

There do seem to be a Lot of men our age who can't acknowledge that a woman is a. Actually knows more about something than they do.

[Jen Romolini]

That's a much more succinct way to put what I just was ranting about. Thank you for being. Thank you for being that voice.

[Kim France]

Anytime.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay, how many winter coats is enough winter coats? Do other people have a lot of coats? I mostly pick one to be the main one and commit to it for years.

[Kim France]

But should I rethink coats are what I spend on? Yes, coats are what I spend on because in New York they're your outfit for a lot of months of the year. So I have like, I have like a blue, like a blue faux fur coat and another blue top coat and like a black, I mean a green corduroy coat. Like I like to have. I like to play with color and variety with coats. So I say like get as many coats as you want or can afford.

[Jen Romolini]

I agree. I don't even live in a cold weather place and I have 10 to 20 coats. I love coats. Coats are the best. And like they just, they, even if you're only wearing them on the street, like, they're just, they're such a statement. They're so fun. They're not uncomfortable like pants. They're, they're like a delight to buy and they can really elevate a boring outfit. It.

[Kim France]

Yes.

[Jen Romolini]

Buy more coats, get more coats. Get it like a utility coat. Get like a fun fur coat, faux fur coat. Get like a, a snazzy, classy, like trenchy kind of coat with like a belt. I love coats.

[Kim France]

Me too.

[Jen Romolini]

All right. Okay. This is kind of complicated, but I think I know the answer. As a newly minted 50 year old woman, I've acquired a few skincare products. Higher lauronic acid. Sunday Riley Good jeans. Vitamin C, liquid exfoliator. I have no idea of the frequency and combo to use them. Right now I just open the cabinet and pick a bottle. Russian roulette style. I'd like my routine to be simple and don't want to run through this stuff too fast because it's expensive. Can you help? Am, PM daily. Weekly. Thank you. Okay, I do know the answer to this. So use like an acid based exfoliant. You can use that three or four nights a week. At night you should be. If you're not. I don't wash my skin, but you know, I just put some water on it. You should have some kind of serum every night. If you're using exfoliant, you don't need to use a vitamin C or you can. I'm actually. Do I know the answer to this? The bottom line is vitamin C twice a day. That's what dermatologists have told me in the morning and at night and sunscreen and moisturizer. If you use moisturizer, you can use your serums at night only, like not vitamin C serum, but your exfoliating serums or your wrinkle serums, your peptide serums. You don't have to use them during the day. You can use them just at night and an eye cream at night. So moisturizer, vitamin C, peptide serums, exfoliators and moisture at night and an eye cream at night. And in the day you can just use moisturizer, vitamin C serum and sunscreen. And in terms of exfoliants, I think you can probably go like every, every couple of nights for that. Some, some recommend that you build up and then retinol too, at night. I could put this in the show notes. I could be nice. Or I could put it on our Patreon. That would be a good thing instead of being all over the place. But no, you don't need to use those exfoliants every night. But vitamin C you should use twice a day.

[Kim France]

I want you to use your beauty superpowers to find a really gentle formulation of the vitamin C for me. Because my. Even with the gentle one that I tried, one that was supposed to be gentle, it just makes my skin red. I have such sensitive skin.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay, I will find you. I will find you a gentle vitamin C. I found a gentle retinol that is a pretty good over the counter retinol that is only $8 that a bunch of dermatologists recommended. Yeah, I forget who it's by. But that's also something I should put. You know what, everyone? I'm gonna make a Patreon post of all this shit. I'm just gonna put it all on a Patreon. Since I have not looked at that thing in a long time. I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna make a beauty advice post in the Patreon.

[Kim France]

Perfect.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay. Do you have an old flame who you still think about?

[Kim France]

I mean to say, still think about. Do I still seethe with rage? Yes, yes, 100%, I absolutely do. Do I have an ex that I still think about and wonder what if? No.

[Jen Romolini]

You know, I have a, perhaps interesting answer to this question. I have an example that I, that I always kind of felt like was the one who got away. And then I saw him over the summer and we sat and talked For a couple of hours. And I was like, nope, exactly what I should have done.

[Kim France]

What a good feeling.

[Jen Romolini]

It was totally a good feeling. Still love this person. Absolutely would not have wanted to spend decades of my life with them. This would not have worked out. Absolutely did not want to. This was not the partner I was supposed to be with. And that was a very good feeling. And I think that that is usually, as, you know, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Can. Can. Can show us. This is usually how it is. Like, there's an old flame. And for the most part, you leave them in the past because there was a reason you guys broke up.

[Kim France]

Yeah. No. Unfinished business is a myth.

[Jen Romolini]

I kind of do think. Think that Although there have been. I have seen people who were, like, together in high school who, like, met up again. Like, yeah. And. And not just in Hallmark movies, like in real life and met up again and they were like, oh, yeah, you were always the one the knows. But I. I am for the most part, I think that just leave it in the past and. Yeah. Doesn't even matter if you're thinking about them. It's a fantasy. And enjoy the fantasy if you. If you want to.

[Kim France]

Yeah.

[Jen Romolini]

This is a question I don't know the answer to. Best ways to host a holiday party that doesn't kill the cook. We're having a New Year's open house two to six. Last year I cooked abs and didn't get to visit enough. I totally feel this because I'm always overly ambitious.

[Kim France]

My friend Kate used to have Christmas. Maybe she still doesn't. I'm not invited. But I would like to think I'd be invited. She used to have these Christmas Eve dinners. I think it was either Christmas Eve or Christmas night. And it was all Mexican food. And I thought it was amazing. And I was like, kate, I didn't know that you were such a good Mexican food cook. She's like, it's all from Trader Joe's.

[Jen Romolini]

Wow. Or like. Yeah, like, order tacos or something. Like, I feel like I hate being in the kitchen. Although sometimes I do like being in the kitchen. It depends on the event. But sometimes if it's like. Like when I cook the seven feast of the seven fishes, I like being in the kitchen. Everybody comes visit me. We talk, like, while I'm stirring, like, the lobster risotto or whatever I'm making. I usually enjoy that. But, like, usually you want to be out. So if you can find things that you can cook ahead, you know, like lasagna or bruschetta or Whatever it is that you can like have and assemble ahead and just, you know, crudites, et cetera. That works. Or like I've done, I've just like ordered tacos from like a really good Mexican place. And you just have like a. They're all individually wrapped and you just have them in. Something like that also works. Whatever you can do to plan ahead and not have to be in the kitchen. Because what's the point of having a party if you're just, if it's just, you're just laboring the whole time.

[Kim France]

No, it's really true. It's really true.

[Jen Romolini]

Here's a question for you, if you're willing, Kim, please share what helped with painful intercourse. My doc wasn't dismissive, but only offered really intense treatments.

[Kim France]

That makes me so angry.

[Jen Romolini]

I know.

[Kim France]

Estrogen cream. Yes, estrogen cream. I can't say that it solves the problem 100% of the time, but I've never spoken to a woman who it didn't solve the problem for.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, I think I would also say that I don't have it. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm like inching toward it and have been using estrogen cream. And it does work.

[Kim France]

Yeah, it just works.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay. My 11 year old niece asked me the other day why my hands look like this. And now I have a newfound insecurity. Huh. Not expecting a miracle, but maybe some solidarity.

[Kim France]

It just happens.

[Jen Romolini]

Mine look like they're. I told you, mine look like the beach in the M. Night Shaloman movie. Like it's crazy.

[Kim France]

I know. You make me laugh all over again with that.

[Jen Romolini]

They're veiny, they're spotted, they're wrinkly.

[Kim France]

Mine are the oldest looking part of my body for sure.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes, yes, yes, absolutely.

[Kim France]

That's how carnival barkers or whatever at carnivals guess your age. They look at your hands.

[Jen Romolini]

Wow. Well, I will say that they do have new like red light therapy things if you're okay. So if you're really self conscious about your hands and you're really like, I can't tolerate this anymore. This is driving me crazy. First off, the skin is thin on your hands like it is on your neck and like it is on your under eyes. Right. So it needs a lot of emollients. So you have to really moisturize the top of your hands. They also have red light therapy devices at home that you can use for your hands and if they're really, really bothering you. Oh, and you can also get the brown spots zapped off if you Wanted to. With a laser. And if they're really, really, really bothering you, they do put filler in your hands. And I've seen it done. I have not had it done. But it does plump them up. It makes them not look veiny. And you look like you have young hands.

[Kim France]

I just have. I just. My hands are. I just have tiny, little, fat little hands. My hands are just not an attractive part of my body. I just live with that.

[Jen Romolini]

No, I'm no hand model. Like, never will be. Like, I have, like, the Madonna, Sarah Jessica Parker, super veiny, like, big knuckles hands. Like, I just. They're just not great. They're just. They're not the part that I would be like, what's your. You know, what's your finest attribute? I wouldn't be like, oh, yeah, these great hands. It's like, not. It's not. But, yeah, you can do stuff to them, but, you know. Or you can just, like, come to peace with it because, you know, all the solutions are temporary. Here's one. What is the meanest thing someone has said to you?

[Kim France]

I can't think of one. I mean, not that people haven't said mean things to me, but, I mean, I would have to go back to my youth to remember something so mean that it made me cry.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, Mine are all Goodreads reviews and they are horrible. They're so mean. They're the mean. And, like, shouldn't read them. But, like, when I'm in, like, a terrible place and I wanna feel worse because I'm a masochist, I'll read them. I'll go. I'll. I'll filter into one or two star reviews. And they're so mean. And they're. You know, they talk about how I'm. I'm a child abuser and I hate my husband and I'm unlikable and no thanks, thumbs down. And then the worst thing is when you get this awful, really deeply personal review of just fucking tearing down your whole personhood. And then somebody comments on the review. Ha. I love this. And you're like, what kind of cunts from cunt town are you? Like, the worst.

[Kim France]

The worst kind of cunt from cunt town. Oh, can I tell you something I bought for myself?

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, please do.

[Kim France]

Bella Freud, the designer, she makes mugs and T shirts that say it too. But I bought a trinket tray.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, my God, you did it. You bought it. Yes. Go.

[Kim France]

The hello country trinket tray. It arrived in my home over the weekend. I was so happy.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, that's Great. That's great. That's great.

[Kim France]

Now every morning, it's on my dresser every morning. Hello, Kunty.

[Jen Romolini]

Hello, Kunty. No. It takes a certain type of person to read a book and then just. Just drag. Personally drag the author, like, in. In, like paragraph upon paragraph upon paragraph. Not the writing, not the story, just the person. The fucking person. And it's fucking mean. It is.

[Kim France]

So, no, people can be really mean. I mean, if we're talking about comments on pieces we've written, then people have definitely said mean things. And one of them that sticks in my mind. I published a piece about the Conde Nast holiday lunch, but it was also about my depression and about how this year the holiday lunch was a very big deal at Conde Nastra, the editors in chief and publishers.

[Jen Romolini]

And where you were seated, the seating chart.

[Kim France]

Right, the seating chart was really important. And the goal, the brass ring, was to be seated next to Sy Newhouse. And the year I was in my deepest depression, I was seated next to Sy Newhouse. And so that's what this piece is about. And somebody commented, Lucky was a superficial, stupid magazine for dumb people that made the whole culture stupider. No wonder Kim France hated herself when she looked in the mirror. Oh, and then happily, somebody did respond to that comment and just said, you are, you know, you're the worst.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, God, that's. That's so awful. No, my thing, though, is, like, who is coming in and just, like, being like, you know what?

[Kim France]

Brava.

[Jen Romolini]

Brava. You mean cunt? Like, I love this, too. Like, that's. That's the thing. I mean, I just don't. I don't review shit online. I don't. Like. I'm not like, that's also. It's just a specific. It's a very particular type of person. You know, it's just. That's. That's really what you have to come to. But, yes, to my face, though. What's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to my face? I mean, I mean, I'm sure it's my husband. Honestly, I'm sure in a fight, my husband has said the meanest thing to me, anybody. Because he knows me the best. And he knows. He knows, you know, he said the meanest things to me he could possibly say. Sometimes when we have terrible fights, I'm sure it's him. Because nobody else would do it.

[Kim France]

Yeah.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, you know what? It might be my mom. You're lucky you're pretty because you're such a bitch because you're lucky you're pretty because you're such a bitch. And if not, if you weren't, no one would like you. Like, I mean, you know, that's pretty bad. That was pretty bad. That was pretty bad. Yeah.

[Kim France]

How old were you when she said that?

[Jen Romolini]

15? 16?

[Kim France]

Oh, no.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, yeah, some bad shit happened then, but yeah, I mean, people are mean. I've really. I don't have any tolerance for jerk offs anymore. I block them. I block them in my life. I'm just like, I don't need that. I'm mean enough to myself. Okay, last. Last. Exactly right. Okay, last question. Which is totally not a question. But, but just as a, as a counter programming to the last thing. Why are you guys so awesome?

[Kim France]

I love that question.

[Jen Romolini]

I don't know. Because we are so supported and by all of you and rooted for. I feel like our listeners root for us so much. Yes. It's. Oh, it's so, so nice. I'm so grateful for it. It's like the highlight of the many years we've been doing this. So thank you everybody.

[Kim France]

Did you see the comment this week where one of the, I mean, one of our Facebook commenters said. I was really confused listening to the episode when I thought Kim said she had tried CrossFit and I thought I was going to have to rethink everything. And then I listened again and it was the crossword. I was like, wow. My readers, my listeners know me better than I know myself.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh my God. No, let me tell you something. These listeners know us really, really well. I mean, as discussed, I had, I've had therapy recommendations. I've had, you know, so many good recs. Organizers people send me, you know, it's, it's very useful. There was an amazing thread on Facebook book about stuff and how to get rid of stuff, how to think about having stuff. So. Yes. So thank you all very, very much. And yeah, the fact that you're out.

[Kim France]

There, like, makes everything better. It just like, it means so much to me.

[Jen Romolini]

I know, me too. Like, I was thinking about it the other day because I also have a relationship with many of our listeners that I'm like, I feel like there's like 10 of us here. Like, I'm like, oh, it's just like a party of like good friends. But like, I know from looking at the numbers, it's, it's many more than 10.

[Kim France]

Yeah, it is. But I think it's better for us to just think that it's 10.

[Jen Romolini]

I know. Well, especially when I start getting into the international numbers. I'm like, other countries, how I know, right? Latvia for real.

[Kim France]

Amazing.

[Jen Romolini]

Thanks for listening to Everything is Fine. We are your hosts. I'm Jen Romolini.

[Kim France]

And I'm Kim France.

[Jen Romolini]

If you like the show, please rate and review it across the platforms. It really helps people find the show. It really makes a difference. Oh, if you want us to recommend something next week, please send us an email or oh, actually, it'll be too late for that. Or will it be too late for that? I don't know when this comes out.

[Kim France]

Because we're so bad at math, neither of us can figure out if it'll.

[Jen Romolini]

Be no, it doesn't matter. But if you hear this and you want us to recommend the best of the year, we'll add it to our list. If you want to support the production of the show and apparently find all the skincare research that I've done, you can join our [e-mail] everythingisfine. It's $3 a month. If you want to find Kim, you can find Kim on our substack kim france.substack.com if you want to follow me, you can find me@jen Romalini.substack.com we are on Instagram if podcast. We are robust and private Facebook group, which is where these questions came from today. The show is mixed and edited every week by the brave and wonderful Natalie Rivera. Thanks, Natalie, and we'll be back next week.

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