Never Too Late To Learn New Things

Summary

Podcast Summary: Everything Is Fine – Episode: "Never Too Late To Learn New Things"

Release Date: October 21, 2024

Hosts:

• Kim France – Former Lucky magazine founding editor
• Jennifer Romolini (Jen) – Author and editor

---

1. Embracing Personal Growth and Liberation

Jen Romolini shares a transformative experience from a recent 50th birthday party she attended. Initially anxious due to social anxiety and having taken an edible, Jen successfully navigated an uncomfortable conversation with a man by choosing to align with her true self. She states:

"In the past, having this attention would have kept me there... But there was a point where I was like, wait, I'm not going to fuck him. I don't have to talk to him."
— [04:33]

This moment marked a significant shift for Jen, embodying the liberation that comes with midlife. She emphasizes the newfound freedom to prioritize genuine connections over societal expectations.

2. Navigating Family Dynamics and Personal Habits

The conversation shifts to familial anecdotes, particularly focusing on Kim France's mother and her unconventional approach to marijuana use. Kim recounts a humorous miscommunication:

"She thought that all marijuana, for her entire lifetime of smoking pot, she's been swallowing it every time she inhales because she thought it needed to go into her stomach in order to make her high."
— [09:24]

This story highlights the generational differences and the importance of continuous learning, even in later years.

3. The Impact of Social Media and AI on Personal Identity

Jen discusses the unsettling experience of discovering an AI-generated biography of herself on Amazon. She describes it as:

"It has merged... into this document of the history of my life that is so disjointed and so false."
— [25:25]

Both hosts express concerns about the authenticity and accuracy of AI representations, underlining the challenges of maintaining personal identity in the digital age.

4. Building and Nurturing Community

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the Facebook community they’ve built around the podcast. Jen highlights its value:

"It really is a great community... several thousand strong at this point, which is amazing."
— [28:42]

The hosts emphasize the platform's role in providing support, advice, and connection among women navigating similar life stages.

5. Listener Q&A: Addressing Personal and Societal Concerns

The hosts delve into listener-submitted questions, offering insights and personal anecdotes.

a. Receiving Compliments in Marriage

Listener Question:
How do you feel when your husband calls you beautiful? Lately, it's been bugging me...

Jen's Response:

"I find... I'm grateful for it, and I think it's nice."
— [44:14]

Jen encourages embracing positive affirmations within marriage, despite occasional mixed feelings.

b. Self-Care Amidst Chaos

Listener Question:
How do you treat yourself softly when life is throwing horrible shit at you from every direction?

Jen's Response:

"I go get massages... take daytime baths... put on some fancy cream on my face."
— [45:10]

Both hosts advocate for practical self-care routines, emphasizing mindfulness and self-compassion.

c. Coping with Election Anxiety

Listener Question:
Have you been able to compartmentalize thoughts about the election, or is the hum of anxiety always there?

Jen's Response:

"I have not been able to compartmentalize thoughts about the election... I'm terrified."
— [47:11]

Jen and Kim express their fears and frustrations regarding the political climate, highlighting the emotional toll of societal instability.

d. Favorite Drugstore Makeup Products

Jen's Recommendation:

"Maybelline Lash Sensational Sky High mascara... it's super cheap and easy to remove."
— [52:05]

Jen shares her go-to makeup product, emphasizing affordability and practicality.

e. Favorite Small Habits for Better Living

Kim's Habit:

"Waking up before everyone else in my house... play word games for a while in the morning."
— [57:23]

Jen's Habit:

"Lymphatic drainage massage and stretching... five-minute routine that has made a significant difference."
— [57:27]

Both hosts discuss simple daily habits that enhance their well-being and productivity.

---

6. Recommendations: Entertainment and Media

Jen Romolini provides thoughtful recommendations on various media:

• "The Golden Bachelorette" – Praised for its earnest portrayal of masculinity and emotional depth.
• Ali Wong’s Special – Appreciated for its fresh take on divorce and dating.
• "Peak Season" – A sweet indie love story about undeniable chemistry between two unlikely characters.
• Books: "All Fours" by Miranda July – Described as masterful and deeply resonant with themes of long-term relationships and aging.

Kim France mentions interest in a documentary about a writer from "Grey’s Anatomy" involved in an elaborate lie about having cancer, reflecting on her own experiences with deceit and its emotional consequences.

---

7. Personal Reflections and Closing Thoughts

The hosts conclude by sharing personal reflections on their lives, emphasizing the continuous journey of learning and self-improvement. They reiterate the importance of their supportive community and encourage listeners to engage through various platforms like Patreon and Substack.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jen Romolini:
  "It is like a silent meditation retreat or something. I don't fucking want to know."
  — [48:17]

• Kim France:
  "It's never too late. That's how we stay young."
  — [11:19]

• Jen Romolini:
  "These are not the right places to have these conversations, in my opinion."
  — [23:44]

• Kim France:
  "Have you been able to compartmentalize thoughts about the election, or is the hum of anxiety always there?"
  — [47:01]

---

Conclusion

In this episode of "Everything Is Fine," Kim France and Jen Romolini navigate through personal anecdotes, societal issues, and listener questions with honesty and humor. They explore themes of personal growth, the complexities of midlife, and the importance of community support, offering relatable insights for women over 40.

---

Thank you for listening to "Everything Is Fine." If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review it on your preferred platform. Support the show by joining our Patreon at patreon.com/everythingisfine and stay connected through our Facebook community and Substack blogs.

Transcript

[Narrator]

They say opposites attract. That's why the Sleep number smart bed is the best bed for couples. You can each choose what's right for you whenever you like. You like a bed that feels firm, but they want soft. Sleep number does that. You want to sleep cooler while they like to feel warm. Sleep number does that too. Why choose a sleep number smart bed so you can choose your ideal comfort on either side. And now it's the lowest price of the season. On the top selling i8 smart bed. Your best savings plus special financing, limited time. Shop a sleep number store near you. See store or sleepnumber.com for details. Over the last 75 years, over 10,000 chemicals have been introduced to our food supply, yet the EU only allows 300 food additives. But at Thrive Market, we bring our members the highest quality brands and restrict more than 1,000 ingredients found at conventional grocery stores. Making the switch is easy with our Healthy Swaps scanner, which finds better versions of all your favorite pantry, snacking and home essentials without the added junk dyes and fillers. Plus, it's all delivered straight to your door. So if you're looking to shop at a grocery store that actually cares about your health, go to thrivemarket.com podcast and you'll get 30% off your first order and a free gift.

[Kim France]

Hi, and welcome to Everything Is Fine, a podcast for women over 40. We are your hosts. I'm Kim France.

[Jen Romolini]

And I'm Jen Romolini.

[Kim France]

And Jen, I know I'm making it the weather podcast again, but it was cold this morning here.

[Jen Romolini]

Was it cold? It was cold.

[Kim France]

It was cold. It was the first really autumnal day of the year.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, well, you guys have had really. From what I have witnessed from the fact that I stalk the weather on the east coast, it looks like you have had like perfect fall weather. Like 70 during the day, 50 at night. Just like it looks like it was a gorgeous fall.

[Kim France]

It has been a really gorgeous fall, but it hasn't been especially cool, you know, it's been very mild, which I haven't minded.

[Jen Romolini]

Right, right.

[Kim France]

But anyway, today was a cold day and I woke up and I wore my new jacket and it was crispy and leaves were on the sidewalk and I got all excited.

[Jen Romolini]

That's excellent and exciting. I love that weather. That's like my favorite. I like, plan all year to. Cause I spend one week in cold weather a year and I sort of plan my wardrobe all year for that one week because I love it so much.

[Kim France]

That's so funny.

[Jen Romolini]

Well, I went to a party Saturday Night.

[Kim France]

Tell me about it.

[Jen Romolini]

I went to a friend, a newish friend and neighbor's 50th birthday party, and Alex was out of town. And they had a dress code. Like, it was a. They wanted people to dress up. It was very clear. And you know what? In la, you fucking have to do that, because people will legitimately come in sweatpants no matter what the event. And I really liked my outfit. I was, like, really into my weird outfit. I wore. I wore this, like, iridescent top with, like, a ruffle that was. It's like a lilac iridescent top with a chest ruffle. It was so odd. I was like, is this clownish? But then it, like, looked cute with, like, some black pants and kitten heels. And I just. I felt like I looked really good. But I say this because there's this moment where I took an edible before I went because I was, you know, social anxiety, and I knew it was going to kick in at some point. And there's this moment where I'm, like, talking to this guy. He's cute enough. He's probably my age, like, 50s, and I think we're vibing, right? And he's wearing, like, a Jeff cap. And it's, like, nice to be getting this attention. But at some point, like, he was, like, starting in on, like, you know, just really dude shit, like, just being a fucking dude. He was like, well, you know, I only. I've really restricted my news sources to the New Yorker and the New York Times. And I was like, oh, the Times. And he was like, well, if you understand the biases. And, like, the way he was asking me questions about my work were really condescending. And, like, in the past, in my 20s and 30s, just, like, having this attention would have, like, kept me there because, like, I could tell he liked me. Like, he was, like, leaning in, like, no ring on his finger, you know, et cetera. And then there was a point where I was like, wait, I'm not going to fuck him. I don't have to talk to him.

[Kim France]

I don't have to listen anymore.

[Jen Romolini]

I don't have to listen anymore. And I went over to my friends, like, at the lesbian table, and I was like, this is where I belong. And I talked to, like, my friend Rebecca's wife for the rest of the night. And it was the best. And I. It was like, we talk a lot about, on this show about all the, you know, the bitch of being in midlife and middle age and whatever, but we don't talk about the liberation. I think Enough. I just like. I was like, toodles, dude. Like.

[Kim France]

That is hilarious. That is hilarious. All the good girl impulses flew out the window.

[Jen Romolini]

Flew out the fucking window. And all the impulses for, like, male attention, like, in the past, I just, like, needed that so much that I would just like, lap it up, like. And really even, like, it's really been the last decade where, like, a guy, like, really being into me, like. Cause it's rare. Especially as you get older, you're married, you have kids, whatever. It's so rare. And I could tell he was into me. And like, even my friend Rebecca was like, I thought that was your husband. Like, I've never seen your. I thought that was. And I was like, no, it's just some dude.

[Kim France]

How funny.

[Jen Romolini]

Who I shook. It was fantastic. It felt great.

[Kim France]

That is hilarious. You did a. I'm going to the bar. Would you like another drink?

[Jen Romolini]

Exactly. I did totally. I did totally that. I did totally that. But of course, being me, like my exit, I like, tripped over a cheat chair. Like, I broke the spell for sure. But yeah, the liberation of just sitting with whom you want instead of waiting to fucking have a guy unroll his. Whatever filibuster he's doing on you. This fucking lectures. The man Slainy. Yeah, they're like. They're like, man Slaney lectures. I was just like, oh. He was like, so tell me about what kind of writer are you? And I was like, this. This is. No.

[Kim France]

Yeah. What does that even mean? A good one.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, fuck you. I don't care.

[Kim France]

That's hilarious.

[Jen Romolini]

So, yeah, but I went to a party and I also did a thing I never do, which is I left the party. Like, there was like, gonna be singing and dancing. There was gonna be like a group song and there was gonna be dancing. And I was like, I'm not up for either of those things. And I left at 10pm with like, a light buzz after having, like, lovely conversation and feeling cute, like, success all around.

[Kim France]

And it was a neighbor. So you just got to walk home.

[Jen Romolini]

Totally. I got to walk home. It was great.

[Kim France]

What a successful party experience.

[Jen Romolini]

Successful party. It's like, literally, like, I never have one of those. I'm either too drunk and the next day, the whole nighttime, like, oh, my God, why did I say that to Martha?

[Kim France]

You know, I know.

[Jen Romolini]

Or. Or just whatever. Like, just have not found a situ. But anyway, I'm finding at the young age of 51, I'm finally figuring out how to party.

[Kim France]

I've got some parties coming up, as I mentioned, and A wedding and a wedding.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, a wedding. It's weird to go to weddings at this age. Yeah. Continue.

[Kim France]

Yeah. Our friend Renee is getting married.

[Jen Romolini]

Good for her. I mean, I guess she listens to this. I know. No, I love her. Good for her. But, like, I don't know. Like, I was trying. I've been trying to write this post. Oh. Because my anniversary was last week. I've been trying to write this post how to stay married. You know? Like, I was like, that's, you know, this little counter programming of all the divorces. And I was like, I don't fucking know how you stay married. I don't even know if people should be married. Like, I really feel that. I don't know.

[Kim France]

Well, it may be that people shouldn't be married, but I think you obviously know a great deal about how to stay married.

[Jen Romolini]

That's true. I did give you advice. Like, I was shocked that I gave you good. Like, not that your marriage is great, but you, like, wanted one specific, like, piece of advice about something, like, in the last six months. And I was like, oh, I was useful.

[Kim France]

You were very useful. I remember exactly the advice I went to you for, and you gave me the exactly right advice. And it was so obvious. It was, like, floating somewhere above my head, but it was not lodged in my head yet. Oh, my God. I have to tell you a story my mother told me.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, my God. Please, please, please. Oh, I live for these. Continue.

[Kim France]

So my mom's a longtime pot smoker.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes.

[Kim France]

She lives in a fancy building on the Upper east side. And recently there have been complaints to the super about the fact that her apartment reeks. So she started taking her vaporizer out to Central park and smoking on a bench in Central park, but she doesn't feel like doing that. It's getting darker early. So I was like, mom, it's fucking.

[Jen Romolini]

With her weed routine. I get it.

[Kim France]

It's fucking with her weed routine. So I'm like, mom, you need to get a pen. You need to get oil, you know, because that won't smell.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay. Okay.

[Kim France]

So she's at my house on Sunday visiting, and she sees my pen and she's like, now how do you use this? I was like, mom, you smoke it just like you've been smoking pot for decades. She's like. She's like. So you inhale it and then you swallow it, right? And I was like, no, you don't swallow it. And she's like, then how does it get to your stomach?

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, my God. Because she was thinking it was Oil. She didn't understand that it was like. No.

[Kim France]

She thought that all marijuana. For her entire lifetime of smoking pot, she's been swallowing it every time she inhales because she thought it needed to go into her stomach in order to make her high.

[Jen Romolini]

Wow. Wow. Oh, wow. Wow. The mechanics of that, I'm just getting in real time. Wow. I mean, because there is a thing of like, you do kind of swallow it.

[Kim France]

Well, you hold it in.

[Jen Romolini]

You hold it in, but you're holding it in so that it goes into your lungs and that's how you get high.

[Kim France]

But she thought it went into your stomach.

[Jen Romolini]

Wow. Wow. I mean, edibles do go into your stomach.

[Kim France]

True.

[Jen Romolini]

But not. Not smoke. That's crazy. She never. It never occurred to her that it was her lungs.

[Kim France]

No.

[Jen Romolini]

Wow. Probably, what, conservatively, 40, 50 years of smoking pot. 40.

[Kim France]

40. Yeah, about 40.

[Jen Romolini]

That's a lot. That's a long time. For the whole time to be like, I have to swallow it so that I can digest it, basically.

[Kim France]

No, it's like some person told her something that she misheard. Anyway. My mother is a very intelligent woman. I just thought this was hilarious.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, it is hilarious. It's amazing. Was her mind blown when you were like, it's the lungs a little bit. Learn something new. It's never too late to learn new things.

[Kim France]

It's never too late. That's how we stay young.

[Jen Romolini]

Do you think she's going to change her pot smoking mechanics of her pot smoking now after all these years? Do you think that she'll just be like, oh, I could just breathe, I don't have to swallow?

[Kim France]

No, I think she'll keep doing it the way she does.

[Jen Romolini]

Amazing. Amazing. Does she get, like. Does she get zonked high?

[Kim France]

No. And she doesn't get high every night. She really uses it to chill out and go to sleep.

[Jen Romolini]

It makes sense that she wouldn't want to do it in the dark.

[Kim France]

But the days of her getting really high, I think, ended when my stepfather died, because they used to. He had never really smoked weed before her, and he ended up liking it, like, a lot and finding that it relaxed him in a way that, like, Valium wouldn't. Did I ever tell you about the time they shipped marijuana to Singapore?

[Jen Romolini]

No. No.

[Kim France]

Okay, I realize this is. I'm on a tangent right now.

[Jen Romolini]

Just go. Go. That's what a podcast is. Let's just go.

[Kim France]

Mom and Howard were dedicated pot smokers, and they liked to bring it with them when they traveled. And they would put it in foot powder, which covers up the smell, apparently.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay, okay.

[Kim France]

And they used to travel a great deal, so they would ship their suitcases ahead with the weed in them. They did this all over the world. And finally we found out they were about to go on a cruise that started in Singapore. And we found out that they had shipped weed in their suitcase to Singapore. And we were like, you can't go on that trip. You can't go on that trip. The Singaporean government would love to make an example of you. They went on the trip.

[Jen Romolini]

No, I mean, look, there was the wild and out. Like, older people. Wild and out with weed is a theme in my life as well. My dad traveled with weed everywhere. Like, he would be like, yeah, you put it in your sock. And I was like, what the fuck? And he was like, yeah, you put it in your sock. Nobody searches your sock. And I was like, what if there's. Like, what if there's dogs? He was like, eh, it's not gonna happen. You put it in coffee and you put it in your sock.

[Kim France]

Amazing.

[Jen Romolini]

And that's it. Like, I mean. And then I traveled with a bunch of joints once. What I did was I sliced open. It was like tampons with applicators. And I was going on a trip to Florida with friends, and I was like, I want weed when we're there. So. So I sliced open all of the tampons, put joints in each one, and then reglued them down and sealed the tampon box.

[Kim France]

Amazing.

[Jen Romolini]

I was like, you know, what if somebody finds this? Then, you know, it's earned. If I get arrested for this, it's earned because I have. Really. Because, you know, the thing is, is that most of those. Most of the people searching you, especially back then, were men. Nobody wants to fuck with tampons. And I sealed them up. You know, it really would have had to have been like some very, very tuned in dogs to have sorted it out.

[Kim France]

And apparently the dogs are not sniffing for marijuana.

[Jen Romolini]

No, no, I don't think they're sniffing for marijuana. But yeah, it's weird when your parents. I remember when going to a concert with my mom in the 90s, and her just like flagrantly smoking a joint and me being like, it's not the 70s. What are you doing? Like, we're gonna get arrested. This is crazy.

[Kim France]

That's so funny. Yeah, well, Eve and I. Eve and I have. Have. Have agreed never to smoke pot together.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, wow. It is. I. I think that. That is. I think that's right. It's too weird to smoke. It's Too weird to be drunk or high with your parents.

[Kim France]

It's weird, I know. Knowing they are too. No, it's. It's too much.

[Jen Romolini]

My sister never has a problem having, like, one or two drinks too many with my family. And I'm always like, that is crazy. You are crazy. Like. Like your defenses are down. You're telling too much shit. Like, this is a crazy thing. And she was like, everybody has their own coping mechanisms. It's fine. Other things on my mind. On your mind. Would you like to go next?

[Kim France]

No, I want you to go.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay. So I do have this thing that I don't know if I should talk about on air or not, but. Am I having an affair with my massage therapist?

[Kim France]

I told you. Did I say it?

[Jen Romolini]

You did. And I went back yesterday because now I've been booking these appointments every two weeks. I do have this bum shoulder. Okay, I definitely have this bum shoulder. But this time I did shave before I went. I shaved my legs. I had it before, and I was like, this is fucking great. This is the greatest, like, hour. Hour ten of my week. Like, I don't think. I think it's fine. It's all above board. There's nothing scandalous is happening. But I was yesterday when I left with spring in my step, I was like, is this an affair?

[Kim France]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are you attracted to your masseuse?

[Jen Romolini]

Not in any way. Not in. Not in. In any way, shape or form. I would ne. Like it is. He is not in any way my type. He's far too young for me. He's like, everything. Skin tone, like, everything. He's not. He's not. For me. He's like. He's a little bit pasty. Like, not. Not my kind of dude. Like, I'm more of like an Italian, Greek person, you know, whatever. Darker. Not attracted to him. However, I am like, this feels nice. This is nice. This is nice to feel in my body for this long. And it's nice to be touched by somebody else. Like, it's nice. It feels nice. And I was thinking about, like, where. Where is the line? You know? I don't know what the line is. I think it's fine.

[Kim France]

Of course it's fine. It's a massage. You're supposed to feel good when you get a massage. That's right. But the fact that you. The fact that you shaved your legs is the only. Is the only red flag.

[Jen Romolini]

I didn't dress up. I didn't, like, have makeup on or anything. I just did shave my legs. And in part Because I was like, that might be. That might be like a more pleasant experience for me, having like smooth legs, you know, getting massaged, you know, and.

[Kim France]

Maybe it makes it. Maybe it makes it a more pleasant experience for him or a better experience for him.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, you know, you never know. This is what we're talking about. These are the lines. I don't know. I don't know. There's like a movie version of this where this goes a whole different way. You know, I think if it was.

[Kim France]

I mean, people have crushes in their married lives, you know, they have workplace crushes, they get crushes on, you know, the husband of a friend. And it's all, I think for the 90% of the time those crushes turn peter out or, you know, just dissipate.

[Jen Romolini]

You know, I've had so few. I have actually. Like, I was thinking about this because I was like, oh my God, what is this? And I was thinking, I've never, I've never cheated. I've never had an affair this whole whole. All these fucking, many, many fucking decades and years. And I just have. Honestly, I don't know that I would be 100% opposed to it. I just have never been presented with anyone that would be worth the hassle.

[Kim France]

Yeah.

[Jen Romolini]

There has not happened in 16 years of marriage. There has never come. There's never been a straight man darkening my door that I would been like, yes, ab. Lutely that. You know, just like they would have. It would. It's just never happened. And I don't know if that's because I don't give out that signal that I'm open to it happening, which. Cause I think that that is a lot of how affairs happen is that the. You're really giving out the signal like, this is something I'm interested in. Or if, like there's just not that many great straight men as after you get to be a certain age, it's like, who the fuck's out? What's left?

[Kim France]

I know. I was, I was swimming them waters. I was dating all of those, all those middle aged single men.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's just. There has not. It's not that I have the greatest will. What I'm saying is there's just really not been that much temptation. There is. Yeah, like.

[Kim France]

Yeah, no, I know what you mean.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah. Because even when they're hot, you're like, the fuck?

[Kim France]

Am I going to really do that?

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, exactly. Oh, this would not be. And then I always think of my husband in my ear being like this. Really?

[Kim France]

Well, that's good.

[Jen Romolini]

It is good. I mean, I have immense respect for the man that I'm married to.

[Kim France]

Well, I also think you don't. You just don't want Alex to think you're lame, too.

[Jen Romolini]

That's. Yes. Yes, I. I would. I would. I would sooner never have sex again rather than have him look at me and be like, that guy. Like, I don't. I don't, I don't. I don't.

[Kim France]

Yeah. When you're married to a critic. God.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, the whole thing. But it's interesting because I really was, like, grappling with, like, this, like, you know, you're trying to do a sub stack and you're like, I'll just give some tips, you know? And I was like, what are the fucking tips? I don't know. I'm sure you grapple with this different stories, but I did.

[Kim France]

No. Last week, I wrote a post for behind the Paywall, and I was pretty sure it was bad. And so I made Paul listen to me read it, and he's like, yeah, not good. Do you have to post that? And I was like, it's what I have to post for tomorrow. Then Walden read it and said it sounded like an AI version of me wrote it.

[Jen Romolini]

I did not think it was this bad.

[Kim France]

It wasn't the best thing I ever wrote, but. But it wasn't quite that terrible. But it was. Some weeks you just got. You know, that's the great thing about Substack. You throw something out there in a day, it's gone.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah. That's what you've come to. That is the piece. That is the piece that you've come to. The land that I live in is, no, I could never send this out. Fuck. And so I just never write any, like, half write things. I have, like 10 drafts going right now.

[Kim France]

That's. I only have one draft going. I only ever have one draft going on substack. Like the post for the next day.

[Jen Romolini]

That's the paywall things. Go ahead. The paywall things.

[Kim France]

I know. The paywall things. I'll work more days than one on, but, yeah, I don't know. I just. I was like, this is the thing. I got. Can't do another ama.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, speaking of substack, we're gonna do a live. We're gonna do a live recording on Substack. Right? Isn't that.

[Kim France]

We are gonna do a live recording, and we gotta figure out when we're gonna do it.

[Jen Romolini]

Wait, is it a recording? It's just a live. And it Will never. No one will ever know it again. Just one time only.

[Kim France]

I think it's a live thing that exists for as long as it exists.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay, all right. Whatever that means. That's very amazing.

[Kim France]

No, it like disappears afterward, like an Instagram story.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, my God. Speaking of fucking Instagram, I have to get off Instagram. I. It is too much right now. It is just like. The whiplash is insane. It is like genocide. Like, parenting tips. You know how to heal your trauma. 10 reasons you might have ADHD. Like self promotion. It is. It is. It is not right. It is absolute trash. It is such a hard time right now with this election, with what's going on in the world, with the sadness of the world. And then on top of it, someone being like, buy my crochet art. Like, it's just a lot.

[Kim France]

No, it is a lot. It is a lot. And also, you know, a lot of really lame takes on shit.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes.

[Kim France]

You know, just a lot of really lame takes on shit. You know, people expressing their feelings about what's going on in the Middle east on social media and being down on people who won't. When they don't realize that posting on social media isn't going to change anything.

[Jen Romolini]

Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. It's just these are not. These are not the right places to have these conversations, in my opinion. These are not good faith platforms, so you should not be engaging in a good faith argument on them, is my opinion.

[Kim France]

And the worst one actually is Instagram reels. Not Instagram reels. Instagram threads. Do you ever look at that?

[Jen Romolini]

I try not to look at it. It's so weird and crazy over there. I don't like it.

[Kim France]

It's really weird. And it's turned into something where people talk about bad first dates, terrible things that happen to them on airplanes, and like random things, and all the stories just read like somebody is making them up.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen that. I've seen that. Well, it's like, to initiate the thread, you know, because it's threads, so we need to have a long thread about this. So there is something very false feeling about it. And I've even seen like weird spammy things on there. Like Richard Gere, you know, it was like Richard Gere who, like, whatever, whatever, whatever the sentence is, it ends just before the information that you want. It's like, it's like suggesting that Richard Gere is dying. And like, it ends right before the critical information. And then you click on it and it's like a morass of like, nothingness like it's a weird, weird world. Oh, speaking of the weird world, which we're gonna talk about another time. Cause I'm gonna have to get it and read it out loud. There's an AI. There's an AI biography of me available on Amazon.

[Kim France]

I'm so happy to hear that.

[Jen Romolini]

It is the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. It has merged. It basically has crawled the Internet. Any speech I've ever given, any. Any interview I've ever given for the what, forever, however long I've been on the Internet and has combined it into this. This document of the history of my life that is so disjointed and so false. It feels like it was translated first off. It feels like it was never ordered in any way. Then it was translated into another language and then translated back. But it. Well, that's what AI is like, it's amazing. But it has things about like, my strongly held beliefs and like my downfalls. I mean, it is so good. I have to do, like, this might be my next project is just doing like a one woman show of reading this book of my life written by a robot. Like, it's so good.

[Kim France]

Now. Is it a physical book?

[Jen Romolini]

It is a physical book. It is a physical book with an AI generated picture of my face that doesn't look like me at all. Like it's some old headshot. I know exactly what the image is. It was actually taken by David Land like a million years ago. But it's like yassified and like a cartoon. It looks so weird. I look like I have dead eyes and like it doesn't look like me at all. The title is like the worst title in the. It's the best, worst thing. I'm so glad it exists.

[Kim France]

I bought it.

[Jen Romolini]

I was like, I have to know.

[Kim France]

Of course.

[Jen Romolini]

I was like, I have to know about this fake book. About me. Oh, it's so funny. So funny.

[Kim France]

Oh, my God. I can't believe you don't have it right next to you to show me right now.

[Jen Romolini]

I know. I will send you an image of it and I will share it when I share the podcast. I will share the. I will share an image of this when I promote the podcast.

[Kim France]

Oh, can we just talk for a minute? Because we always talk about this at the end of the episode. But I just want to talk for one minute about how great our Facebook page is.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, yes, we should talk about that.

[Kim France]

You know, like, I was just noticing, like this week one woman wrote, I'm going to Be at the PJ Harvey concert in Los Angeles tonight. I hope we can all do a hand signal. And then all these other people wrote in, and then somebody else wrote in from like Alberta, Canada to say, like, are there any other Everything is fine listeners here? And they were, People were like, I am, I am. It's just like, it's this great, it's this great community.

[Jen Romolini]

It really is a great community. It's also like really good. Like, I mean, I've seen, you know, I've seen marriage advice on there. I've seen career advice, like, help me make this decision between these two jobs. I've seen all kinds of things about, you know, menopause and treating menopause and how everybody's dealing with that. No, it's amazing. And what I love is that a lot of the listeners are using the anonymous. Like you can just post something anonymous so you can really get personal. And then people are weighing in in the comments and no, it is an excellent community. And it's like several thousand strong at this point, which is amazing.

[Kim France]

2.4 thousand.

[Jen Romolini]

Well, that's not several, but a couple. It's a couple thousand strong. But yes, Facebook is, as I've discussed before, we found love in a hopeless place. Like, Facebook is trash and. But this community is not. And it's, it's been really helpful to me too. I think. I think I like asked for parenting advice last year when I was really struggling with something. And there's a lot of really good, a lot of really good. And then also like travel advice. People are like, you know, I'm coming to this city, where should I go? So, yes, excellent, excellent resource. Excellent resource.

[Kim France]

I mean, we don't get anything if it gets bigger. I'm just saying it because it's really like, I'm really impressed by how great it is.

[Jen Romolini]

No, we don't. That's. If we were in this to get something, we would be conducting ourselves in a totally different way. Which, by the way, just reminder, while we're in the middle of the episode, you can join our Patreon. We love paying our editor. It's $3 a month. Patreon.com everythingisfine. Take a quick break from some ads. Support for Everything is Fine comes from ritual. Did you know that in the winter time your skin tends to dry out? Of course you knew. That is a tough time retaining moisture. Even if you're keeping up a big multiple step skincare routine, your skin gets drier, it looks a little crepier, a little more wrinkly. Well, With Rituals Hyac skin supplements you can actually help fight that dryness. It's a clinically proven way to support skin hydration with science backed benefits like reducing wrinkles and improving skin smoothness. I love Ritual. I've been using Ritual for years now. I use their multivitamin, I use their melatonin and I use Hiacera which I find is a really easy thing to add to my routine. The they taste good, Hiacera tastes good, it doesn't smell bad, it's aesthetically pleasing packaging. I I think that these are just stellar supplements. Haasera itself in a clinical study led to a 2.9 time increase in skin smoothness within 90 days as compared to a placebo. So you could enhance your skin care routine from the inside out with one capsule enhanced with soothing vanilla as well. So there's definitely some vanilla in there. It's also rigorously tested and validated by a third party for allergens, microbes and heavy metals. Ritual works with world class certification bodies to validate their products and they they have industry leading sustainability standards which I really love. So start Hyacra today to support your glow without compromising on clean science. Hyac from Ritual is a clinically proven skin supplement you can actually trust. Get 25% off your first month for a limited [e-mail] fine that's ritual.com fine for 25% off your first month.

[Narrator]

They say opposites attract. That's why the Sleep Number Smart bed is the best bed for couples. You can each choose what's right for you whenever you like. You like a bed that feels firm but they want soft. Sleep Number does that. You want to sleep cooler while they like to feel warm. Sleep Number does that too. Why choose a Sleep Number Smart bed so you can choose your ideal comfort on either side. And now it's the lowest price of the season. On the top selling i8 smart bed your best savings plus special financing limited time shop a sleep Number store near you. See store or sleepnumber.com for details. Over the last 75 years, over 10,000 chemicals have been introduced to our food supply. Yet the EU only allows 300 food additives. But at Thrive Market we bring our members the highest quality brands and restrict more than 1,000 ingredients found at conventional grocery stores. Making the switch is easy with our Healthy Swaps scanner which finds better versions of all your favorite pantry, snacking and home essentials without the added junk dyes and fillers. Plus it's all delivered straight to your door. So if you're looking to shop at a grocery store that actually cares about your health? Go to thrivemarket.com podcast and you'll get 30% off your first order and a free gift.

[Jen Romolini]

And we're back. I've been watching a lot of fun things lately.

[Kim France]

Tell me what you've been watching.

[Jen Romolini]

So I watched. I've been watching the Golden Bachelorette.

[Kim France]

And how is that?

[Jen Romolini]

Okay, first off, it's a lot of laughs. I'm gonna say, like, just a lot of laughs. I've been watching it with Charlotte. We are obsessed with. It is so funny, and the reason it is so funny and the reason this is a different reality show than most reality shows. And I figured this out even with the Golden Bachelor, but that was worse because these women watching. These women, like, preen and, like, fawn, and there was something kind of gross about it. This, like, takes all of that out, but it also. Okay. It's like old men, like, who are sharing rooms together and, like, walking around the mansion being like, oh, good bones in this building. Like, okay, so that's first. So funny. They're also, like, gross old men. They have to deal with each other because they have to live together. So, like, they're snoring. They're getting up all night to go to the bathroom. Like, they're very. They're very uncomfortable having to share space with each other. Like, some of them don't know how to do laundry, and some do. And the ones who don't know how to. The ones who do know how to do laundry, like, come on, man, you're fucking 65 years old. You don't know how to cook for yourself or do laundry.

[Kim France]

Laundry is extremely easy to do.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes. Yes. One of the men, like, is paying another man to do his laundry. Okay. But I realized one of the reasons why. But it's also very emotional. One of the guys moms died. Mom died while he was on the show, and they all cried with him. It's really showing masculinity in a kind of fresh way that I haven't really seen. So that's one part of it. The other part of it is the reason I think this is a better. These older. This older version of this is better is because one of the things that makes these shows so gross is because people are so uninhibited in a way that makes me really uncomfortable. And it's because they're plying them with alcohol the whole time.

[Kim France]

Yeah.

[Jen Romolini]

But old people don't drink like that.

[Kim France]

Yeah.

[Jen Romolini]

And so this is like a sober reality show in A lot of ways, which I think makes it a lot more earnest in a way. And all of these people also have dealt with grief. A lot of these men's. Their wives have died or their parents have died, or, you know, they're dealing with all kinds of things, and there's a lot of grief. I mean, these men are, like, crying openly and, like, are also, like, talking about what they want out of this last part of their lives. So I highly recommend the Golden Bachelorette. I think it's way better. I think it has gotten rid of a lot of my problems with the Golden Bachelor, which is like, the princess is all showing. You know, this is 24 men trying to get with one. And she's kind of cool, too, this woman, Joan. This one, like, nice lady. Anyway, I fucking recommend it. I don't even like these shows, but I think this one is good.

[Kim France]

I'm gonna watch some of it.

[Jen Romolini]

I think you should watch some of it.

[Kim France]

Tell me what else you've been watching.

[Jen Romolini]

I watched. Oh, and I told you to watch this and we can discuss it. I watched the Ali Wong special.

[Kim France]

Yes. And I watched it so we could discuss it.

[Jen Romolini]

Single girl. I think it's called Something like that. Yeah, something like that. Single lady something. Okay. What did you think?

[Kim France]

I liked it a lot. I liked it a lot. I think she's kind of amazing. I think the way she talked about divorce and dating was really fresh, you know?

[Jen Romolini]

Dating. I died. The dating. Who? The men. She.

[Kim France]

I know. I was, like, furiously googling, which movie director did Ali Wong date? Which, like, I desperately had to know. And, of course, I'm sure you can find out, but I didn't.

[Jen Romolini]

No, I think it's. I think she. She did a pretty good job of masking, but, like, I don't know if she's so at the top of her game and so. So, like, reflecting women's experiences in this really interesting way. Like, even, like, talking about, like, how being a kind six is, like, men don't want a 10 anymore. Like, at a certain point, it's embarrassing to be with a 10. They want, like, a. They want a nice. A kind six.

[Kim France]

No, that and that. And she kept. And she kept going back to that. It was hilarious.

[Jen Romolini]

It was hilarious. It's such a. It's so good. Anyway, that's my other recommendation. And the last thing I watched was I watched this little movie last night that I think is so sweet, and I really recommend. It's called Peak Season. It's just, like, an indie festival movie, but it's about this guy who. It's like a love story. It's just a very sweet movie. I just recommend. It's a short movie. It's like 90 minutes about this guy, this guy who teaches fishing in Wyoming and this woman who takes fishing classes from him. And their relationship is really probably never going to work out. But it's just shows this, like when you just actually have chemistry with someone and it's undeniable and there's just like this spark of love between you and it's just like a sweet little movie. I would. I just. It's called Peak Season and I think people should watch it.

[Kim France]

No, it sounds good.

[Jen Romolini]

How about you? Anything?

[Kim France]

Well, I want to watch this on Peacock. There's a new three part documentary about. And I can't remember the name of it or the name of the woman it's about, but it's about this woman who was a writer at Grey's Anatomy who lied about having cancer, who had this incredibly elaborate like ruse. Did you hear about this?

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, I know. I. I edited, I edited several of that person's essays.

[Kim France]

Oh, that's right.

[Jen Romolini]

I know all about this story. That's right. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's an incredible story. It's stranger than fiction. You can't believe that it happened. You can't believe that it happened.

[Kim France]

You know, I knew somebody and I hesitate to talk about it because I don't think I can. I don't think it will reveal who she is, but I knew somebody in my early days working in New York City who, you know, so this is the early 90s maybe that I met this person who claimed that they had cancer, who said they had cancer and nobody saw a reason not to believe this person. And they said they were dying and they just kept not dying. And it just like it. And I remember talking to my boss and saying like, you know, I think she's lying about this. And my boss said, I really hope so.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh God, I really hope so. That's a perfect response. Damn.

[Kim France]

It was a perfect response. And I just felt like, oh, I'm such an asshole.

[Jen Romolini]

No, no. But you know, I mean, this was, this story is wild. And I encourage anyone, everyone to look it up. And I can't talk too much about it because of NDAs and whatever. But I will say this lie was so elaborate that even editing stories about it and closely editing stories, I think we went like six rounds because Hollywood writers are not essay writers necessarily. And I never found a whole. Like, I was like, this person is a Pain in the ass. But I never thought, oh, this rings false to me. There was this. You know, this person had done a ton of research. There were the facts, the facts checked out, you know, so, yeah, it's wild when fabulists are wild, because I can't fathom what it would be like to always be trying to pull a fast one. The amount of panic and anxiety and just shame and everything that I would feel. I can barely. I can barely be, like, performative on social media, you know, like, imagine. And these are people who care about you and are giving you, like, they're sincere, their best support, kindness. And you just keep doing. You just keep doubling down on your lies. I guess at a certain point, you get so deep into it. Like, once you go down that path, you get so deep into it that you can't stop.

[Kim France]

And I think on some level you must get so deep into it that you think on some level it is true that you are not telling a lie. I guess because it's your truth. Because it's your truth, you have made it your truth.

[Jen Romolini]

I guess. I mean, the fascinating part of this is that this person was writing cancer storylines. So I think that it just becomes like, the lines, the truth in fiction just become so blurred, and who knows? Like, who knows? Who knows what brain makeup is like. But my most wicked friend, who I'm not gonna tell you who it is, was like, like, why have you not stayed in touch with her? Why have you? Like, this person is like a full blown sociopath. Like, why don't you want it? Like, don't you want to know? And I was like, no, I'm afraid. I'm like, I don't want to be around someone with that kind of toxic energy. And she was like, think of the material.

[Kim France]

Oh, my God.

[Jen Romolini]

I was like, absolutely not. I don't want to. My life is already. I'm way too sensitive. My life is complicated. And I. But anyway, that's a really interesting story. We'll put it in the show notes. We have tons of listener questions we could get to.

[Kim France]

We do. Why don't we get to a handful?

[Jen Romolini]

Yes. We could get to some of them.

[Kim France]

And I even helpfully put them all in the same document.

[Jen Romolini]

You really did. And I have to say, like, the Grinch, like, my heart swelled eight sizes when I saw that. I was like, oh, this is so nice of Kim. All right, do you want to go first or you want me to go first?

[Kim France]

I'll go first.

[Jen Romolini]

Okay.

[Kim France]

Okay. How do you feel when your husband calls you beautiful? Lately, it's been bugging me, but that makes me feel like a jerk. Isn't that all I've ever wanted to be? 7 years married to a guy who still thinks I'm beautiful and says it all the time? At times, I feel like I'm being judged, evaluated, and approved of by the male gaze, and it feels demeaning. At times, it feels nice. And if he never did it, I'm sure I'd resent that. Am I just looking for things to be irritated about, or do others have mixed feelings about these compliments I have?

[Jen Romolini]

I don't. I don't. I don't know if you're looking for things to be irritated about. Who knows? I mean, as discussed, like, marriage is irritating. I'm never. I never feel irritated when my husband comments on, like, the way I look. Your hair looks nice. Oh, your hair looks really nice. Oh, that outfit is really cool. Oh, you look great today. Or any of that. I find. I'm, like, shocked that he still finds me as attractive as he does. And I'm grateful for it, and I think it's nice. But who knows about my own internalized misogyny? Who gives a shit? I like it. How about you?

[Kim France]

Yeah, I like it. I like it. All right. I think it's nice, but I think we all have our things, you know?

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah.

[Kim France]

Like, my mother can compliment me sometimes, and it will just drive me crazy.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh, well, that feel. That's loaded.

[Kim France]

That.

[Jen Romolini]

That's entirely loaded. Like, that. That feels like. That doesn't feel right. And, you know, I can see a situation. I feel like the way Alex compliments me is very genuine, Spontaneous, et cetera. I can see a situation where you could feel like, why is he saying that right now? You know, just because marriage is so complicated, and you could feel like it was disingenuous, or there's all kinds of things you could feel. They rub you the wrong way.

[Kim France]

Yep. Yep. Okay, you go.

[Jen Romolini]

How do you treat yourself softly when life is throwing horrible shit at you from every direction? I mean, clearly. I go get massages.

[Kim France]

With your boyfriend?

[Jen Romolini]

With my boyfriend, the massage therapist. I take daytime baths. I will drop everything and be like, I'm not working right now. I'm not doing anything. No one's in the house. I'm going to take a daytime bath. And I feel like a daytime bath is, like, the ultimate indulgence.

[Kim France]

Yeah. No, a daytime bath is because it also, at least with me, it makes me really tired.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah. Then maybe a nap afterwards, put on some fancy cream on my face. That's how I do it.

[Kim France]

Yeah, I just try to be nice. I mean, I tried exactly what the listener asked. I try to treat myself softly and just by. Not like, I can really ruminate over dumb shit I've said and done.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes.

[Kim France]

And hate myself for it. It could have happened yesterday. It could have happened 15 years ago.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kim France]

And just trying. Just saying, like, not now. Just not now.

[Jen Romolini]

That's a good one. That's a good one. Not now. That's a good one.

[Kim France]

It's hard.

[Jen Romolini]

It is hard, but it's smart. And, like, having that thing of, like, centering yourself in the moment, you know, I've been really trying to do that with my teenager who is like, my husband was away for a couple of days and he drove them to school today, and I've been doing most of the parenting. And he came in and he was like, wow, they're really challenging right now. And I was like, no fucking shit. But I've been trying to do that more with. With Charlotte because I'm like, it's. This is finite. This. This. This difficulty is finite, but also the proximity to this child is finite, you know, And I've been trying to appreciate that a little bit more rather than just look at the negative.

[Kim France]

That's good.

[Jen Romolini]

I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. Okay, your turn.

[Kim France]

Okay. Have you been able to compartmentalize thoughts about the election, or is the hum of anxiety always there? What will you be doing on the evening of election day?

[Jen Romolini]

Ugh. I have not been able to compartmentalize thoughts about the election. I think about it all the time. I'm considering going to Arizona this weekend or next weekend to try to with Vote Save America, which they have. If nobody knows this. If you type in Vote Save America, if you're feeling as helpless as I am, they have a million different volunteer opportunities, including if you live in a very blue state, travel, like, bus to a red state, or, you know, like New York, it's a one day trip to Pennsylvania, et cetera. I listen to every politics podcast, I follow every political bit of news. I am terrified. I'm terrified of Trump becoming president again. And I'm wildly frustrated and I don't know what to do. And no, I have not compartmentalized it. And in terms of what I'm gonna be doing the night of the election, I don't. I don't know. It's like, so scary. But I also don't think the night of the election is gonna tell us anything.

[Kim France]

No, it's Gonna be too close.

[Jen Romolini]

It's gonna be. We. It's gonna be a week. It's going to be a week, and it's going to be a mess. And, I mean, I really want to run away for it, to be honest. I want to go on, like, a silent meditation retreat or something. I don't fucking want to know. I'd like to be in, like, a temporary coma for, like, that week. Because, you know, I mean, his rhetoric now and all of the Republicans and everything they've been doing to try to suppress voters and just. I'm worried. How could you not be worried?

[Kim France]

Yeah. I haven't been compartmentalizing it at all. I've been completely freaking out about it. I was talking to a friend this morning about it. We were both talking about how freaked out we are and how impossible it is to compartmentalize this, you know, this particular time. You know, I just want to wake up and have the election be over. And it reminds me of a story I heard once about this guy I knew who was a really big Knicks fan. And the Knicks were in the playoffs, and he was so freaked out. It was the last three minutes of the game. It was really close. He was so freaked out, he couldn't handle it. So he went to the grocery store, right?

[Jen Romolini]

And probably no one in the grocery store, right?

[Kim France]

Yeah, right. He just went to the grocery store so that he, like, it could end without him witnessing it. And I'm so. I'm gonna be home, you know, Paul's all excited about election night. I'm like, I'm terrified. I'm terrified.

[Jen Romolini]

Why is he excited? Because he thinks we're gonna win.

[Kim France]

I think he's excited because he's like, it's election night, and it's an exciting thing.

[Jen Romolini]

I just. I can't believe it's neck and neck. I can't. I am so disappointed in this country. I can't believe I'm watching him say the most racist, terrifying shit about what he wants to do to this country in plain sight. And half the country are like, yes, that's for me.

[Kim France]

Yep. And anytime he's fact checked, anytime they don't believe any of it, they just. They will only believe the words that come out of this man's mouth.

[Jen Romolini]

Not only that, but, like, I know I'm preaching probably to the choir, but, like, if anybody out there is on the fucking fence. He's 78 years old. He's not in good health. Right. We. We've never seen. We've never seen his medical history. It's Pretty. But I do know at one point it leaked. And, like, he's on four times. The. The. The prescription, the normal prescription of statins, and his cholesterol is still not lowered. And if this doesn't. If he doesn't scare people. J.D. vance being president.

[Kim France]

Yeah, that guy, that guy.

[Jen Romolini]

Guy. Him being president.

[Kim France]

And the thing about J.D. vance, like, I believe Trump believes the shit he says. I don't believe J.D. vance believes the shit he says. I think he's so cynical.

[Jen Romolini]

I think he is so cynical, but I think he believes a lot of the things he says. I think he fucking hates women. I think that he is so. He is such a chip on his shoulder around strong women. You can see him. He condescends them. He's fucking awful. And his policies are awful. And, like, Trump will not. I don't know if Trump will make it through an entire term. Like, and the fucking fact that anybody's like, yeah, that seems fine. J.D. vance. That seems. That seems okay.

[Kim France]

No, I know. Next question. This is too much.

[Jen Romolini]

Favorite drugstore makeup products.

[Kim France]

Okay. Mine is called Essence Princess False Lash Effect Mascara.

[Jen Romolini]

This is a very popular mascara. This is a very, very popular mascara.

[Kim France]

Yeah, I didn't discover it. It's been around for a while. It's super cheap.

[Jen Romolini]

Well, I'm gonna counter you with Maybelline Lash Sensational Sky High mascara, which is $10 and I think is the best. It's the best mascara I've tried of like 40 mascaras. I recently tried of all of them, Jones Road anything. I like that mascara that you're talking about. But one of my criteria for mascara is how easy is it to get off? I find that one kind of really smudgy. But I'm an eye rubber. If you're not an eye rubber, then you could probably do fine with it.

[Kim France]

Okay, next question. Should I read this one?

[Jen Romolini]

Yes. Also, wait, wait, wait. Before we finish, that CeraVe has really good. They have really good skin care and that, like, I've really starting to see that more and more that there's a lot of good cerave. Like, There's a good CeraVe night cream. There's a good CeraVe eye cream. I also think if you're looking for low cost skincare, cerave in the drugstore. All right, continue.

[Kim France]

Okay. I loved hearing three women talk about music last week on the episode with Ann Powers. Now I'm wondering if you keep up with current music and if so, how you find it. Also, maybe I missed it, but has Jen found a new place to live?

[Jen Romolini]

Uh, the Answer is no because our landlord has just put the house back on the market and we are waiting to see what happens. It could be possible that whomever buys it just wants to have a, you know, an investment rental property and we won't have to move at all or so it's incredibly nerve wracking and we are just in a waiting game because we're not going to move if we don't have to. But if we have to, we'll sort it out. But. So we'll see. What the fuck. How do you keep up with current music and how do you find it? Kim France I don't keep up with.

[Kim France]

Current music so much. I wouldn't say that I really do. I think my stepson shows me things sometimes. He knows a lot about music. But I'm in the rockin to the oldies phase of my life.

[Jen Romolini]

I don't. Yeah, I think I don't totally keep up with new music. I find things that are new to me on Spotify. I, I really, I lean on my day list a lot and my kid introduces me to a lot of new music. Like there's this, this artist Alex G I really like. There's a TV girl or something. This is making me sound like a million years old. But Alex G. We've been listening to a lot and you know, Charlotte introduces me to a lot of new music. They share their main playlist with me and so we listen to their music in the car a lot.

[Kim France]

Oh, that's cool.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, it is cool. It is fun. What do you keep around the house for lunch?

[Kim France]

I love this question because I'm always wondering what to have for lunch. Sometimes I will have ham and cheese and I will make a sandwich but like a sort of French style ham and cheese sandwich.

[Jen Romolini]

Oh that's nice.

[Kim France]

Without so like just like a layer of ham, you know, one slice of cheese and then really good bread and then other times I get more salady. Yeah, I'll do like chickpeas and shredded carrots and sunflower. No pumpkin seeds I really like in salad.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, pumpkin seeds are good in salads.

[Kim France]

For sure and stuff like that. Maybe some cheese. Those are the two lunch directions. And then sometimes I'll make a ham and cheese salad.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, that's a good. Well. So you keep ham and cheese around?

[Kim France]

I keep ham and cheese around because the other people in my household seem to like it too. And because it like there's. For a long time there was nothing to eat for lunch here and it just ended up being a lot of takeout orders at lunchtime. And that's. It's just takeout is so expensive now. It's ridiculous.

[Jen Romolini]

And especially because then if you're doing it lunch and then you're doing it for dinner, yet it's too much.

[Kim France]

Too much.

[Jen Romolini]

I'm bad at lunch. And you know what the thing is, somebody once talked about this how we shouldn't talk about food on the podcast because it, I don't know, because it's triggering. But I often eat leftovers from the night before. Like one of us will eat the leftovers. Like there's salmon in the fridge right now that I'm very excited to eat. I also make a lot of weird, like a hummus style type things. Like I'll make like a white bean hummus and I'll throw like a bunch of spices in and some garlic and I'll just make that in like the tiny little Cuisinart, like the little food processor that I have. And I'll just make like some sort of like hummus and eat that with crackers and carrots for lunch. I don't know, I wind up eating like the kids string cheese. Like I just, I wind up just grazing. Like I'll have crackers and, and string cheese and an apple and you know, some nuts. It winds up being very. Remember when they were doing like girl dinner? Like I'll have like, I'll do that with like some olives or whatever. I tried, I do try to eat something for lunch though. Sometimes it's that I start eating at 11 and I'm just grazing until, you know, basically I go pick up the kid at three. Sometimes it's just not, I'm just not having a sit down meal though some.

[Kim France]

Days are grazing days for me too. At lunchtime.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes. What is a small habit that's made your life better?

[Kim France]

Waking up before everyone else in my house.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Kim France]

Especially now that I live with two people, which is so many more people than I've ever lived with before. You know, just to have the house to myself and be able to play word games for a while in the morning before anything has to really start.

[Jen Romolini]

I've been waking up and doing a lymphatic drainage massage, which I don't know if fucking works, but there's like four points, like your collarbones, behind your ears, under your armpits, around your stomach, in the crevices of your groin and behind your knees. And then I've been like doing like a sort of tap along my skin and I've Been. I've created, like, a whole routine and, like, touching my toes, getting up and down from the ground, like, four or five times and just stretching a little bit. So I guess the whole thing is like a massage and a little bit of stretching. It takes, like, five minutes.

[Kim France]

So you can. We talked about this before, the getting up from the ground, and it's been on my mind ever since. Yes, you're supposed to get up from the ground. Not using your hands.

[Jen Romolini]

Yes. Without using your hands. You can cross your legs, which I do, but I can also do it without crossing my legs. It's just a thing. I've started practicing for no reason other than Instagram, like, served it as. Take this test and you'll live longer. Like, whatever. I don't fucking know. But I have, like, read in the Times that being able to get up from the ground is like a. Is like a. I don't know, a mark of longevity.

[Kim France]

I can get up from the ground, but I have to use my hands.

[Jen Romolini]

I've been trying to do it without my hands, and I've been doing it. I can do it. And if I don't do it for, like, a week, I really struggle to do it. Like, it really is, like, a practice. And because I've also been noticing, like, when things, like, fall on the ground and I go to bend, it's, like, harder to, like, pick something up off the ground. Like, so I've been practicing all that shit because I don't want to lose it. And I think what is being activated are core muscles. But I also think it's a test of balance, too. Right. Because it really is a balance to get yourself up from the ground fully, to lift up. And I've just been. I don't know. I'm committed to not losing that. I mean, look, I don't do any fucking cardio exercise. I barely meditate. Like, I barely do any of the things I commit to. But I have, like, made a commitment to this because it. Because I can see the difference immediately.

[Kim France]

Right, Right.

[Jen Romolini]

It's just like. It's the fucking same thing as, like, I stopped using that. It's not the same thing, but I stopped using that eyebrow growth serum. And my eyebrows, I've fallen out again. They're thin again. I have to get back on it. It's just like, this shit doesn't end.

[Kim France]

No, it doesn't end. It just goes on and on and on.

[Jen Romolini]

It just goes on and on and on. So, yes, that is the one. That is one habit I feel like I have, like, this five minute routine in the morning that doesn't take very long and has, I think, made a significant difference in my, you know, my stretching and my health. I don't fucking know.

[Kim France]

Okay. Best Halloween costume you ever wore or would like to wear.

[Jen Romolini]

The first year our kid was alive, we went as the Ghostbusters and we wore Charlotte in the Baby Bjorn, made them a ghost and put, like, the round red Ghostbuster sign around them.

[Kim France]

It was genius. I still remember it.

[Jen Romolini]

It was among, like, we were legends in Brooklyn that night, like, for as long as we could be out with a newborn. And we, like, played the Ghostbusters song when we went. We had the guns. We had the whole. We had, like, the plasma guns, whatever they were. Like, we had the whole thing. And it was the best costume I've ever been a part of. It just. We just. Because the baby just made it. The baby as a ghost was amazing. You.

[Kim France]

I mean, I don't feel. I have pretty strong feelings about adults wearing costumes. I think that they're. A big exception is made if they have children. If you have children, you can do whatever the fuck you want. Of course you're dressing up for Halloween. Then when you're in your 20s and maybe early 30s, you're dressing up for slutty Halloween to go out and get laid. But after that, why are you dressing up?

[Jen Romolini]

I guess the thrill of dressing up. I guess the creative thrill of, like, coming up with a costume.

[Kim France]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jen Romolini]

Alex goes as the Cat in the Hat every year, and he has for 11 years. I went as Weird Al Yankovic a couple years ago because we had the. Somebody sent us the costume as, like, a promotion for, like, Weird Al's, like, new movie. And, like, I. I just had to get a mustache. I might go as Agnes Varda this year. I give out candy.

[Kim France]

That is hilarious.

[Jen Romolini]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I give out candy in costumes. So I've always had. I've always worn a costume. But, like. Okay, here's my question. See, Alex hates a costume party. Would you go to, like, a Halloween costume party as an adult, like, right now if one of your friends, like, tomorrow was like, hey, I'm having a Halloween party. Costumes necessary.

[Kim France]

It would be really a problem for me. It would be a real conundrum for me. And I don't get invited to that many parties, and I'm always thrilled when I do. But even still, I would probably show up because it's my friend. If it's a good friend, I would show up to their party. But the costume would be minimal. I wouldn't be one of those people who was like, I'm going as a TV reporter.

[Jen Romolini]

Or like, would you wear like a witch's hat? Like what would you do if tomorrow you had.

[Kim France]

That is exactly what I would do. I would just wear a witch's hat. And the rest of what I would be wearing would probably be black. And so it would work.

[Jen Romolini]

Incredible. See, there's a cost, that's a costume. But do you give out candy on Halloween?

[Kim France]

Yeah.

[Jen Romolini]

You do? Yeah, but it's costume free.

[Kim France]

I mean, it's dependent on where I've lived. In this neighborhood there are tons of children and, and lots of people out trick or treating. When I lived on the Lower east side, I certainly did not give out candy.

[Jen Romolini]

Right, right. That makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, this is interesting. But I'm not really gonna have an answer for it until I'm working on a microneedling story. The question is, have you or anyone you know, tried those home microneedling kits that seem to be polluting my social media pages these day? And if so, are they worth the hype? I am actually working on a big microneedling story. I'm getting microneedling done on Friday. And then I'm also in the next month gonna try one of those at home microneedling kits and I'm interviewing a bunch of people about it. So to be continued.

[Kim France]

Okay. Okay then. Do you like horror movies? If so, do you have a favorite?

[Jen Romolini]

I hate horror movies.

[Kim France]

I hate horror movies too. But then we're having, you know, we take turns choosing movies here in my house. And so Paul determined that October had to be all horror movies. And I was like. And Paul was like, how about Poltergeist? We'll watch Poltergeist. And I actually liked it a lot. It's like, you know, it's from the 80s, but it is one of those movies where you really realize, like, it was a different time. Like at a certain point, the very little kid, like it's seven or eight year old kid, gets put in a cab to go to grandma's with his dog.

[Jen Romolini]

Right?

[Kim France]

And it's like, see ya, bye. You know, it's like it was a different time. They're not putting seven or eight year olds in taxis anymore.

[Jen Romolini]

Right? Right. No, I like Poltergeist. And I will also say I like Jordan Peele's movies. Like they're kind of scary, but like, I like those movies a lot. I like Jordan Peele, Poltergeist. Was good. I actually, I think of all the 70s, like horror movies, that's the one I would pick, like I guess Rosemary's Baby.

[Kim France]

Yeah, that's a great movie.

[Jen Romolini]

That's a great movie. I mean, Roman plants gave blah, blah, thumbs down, but you know, like, I don't know if I need to see the Exorcist ever again.

[Kim France]

Yeah.

[Jen Romolini]

You know, but those classic horror movies are much better than like just modern terrifying slasher movies where they got so much scarier.

[Kim France]

Yeah, no, I agree.

[Jen Romolini]

I don't like to be, I don't like to be scared. I'm scared enough.

[Kim France]

I agree.

[Jen Romolini]

I don't know. Should we.

[Kim France]

Well, we're at an hour and four.

[Jen Romolini]

We're at an hour. We're at an hour. And I don't necessarily have any answers to the rest of these questions. I did read All Fours by Miranda July and I think it's masterful. I think it's an incredible book. And I think there's. If you're having a book club or if you just wanna like read a book with a friend, like I read that book around the same time that a friend out here read the book. And we sat, I went over to her house on a Friday afternoon. It was really a lovely thing. And we wound up sitting and talking about the book for three hours. Like there were so many themes in that book that are really resonant. And you know, there's some problems with that book. Like there are problems with every work of art, but it's a work of art and it's really original. And she gets a lot of things right about long term relationships, about sexual desire, about aging, about so many things, so many things. So totally worthwhile book. I think that, I think it's amazing. And on that note, and on that note, thanks for listening to Everything is Fine. We are your hosts, I'm Jen Romolini.

[Kim France]

And I'm Kim France.

[Jen Romolini]

If you like. The best thing was when those kids, when those kids imitated us. Like when Paul's kids imitated us at the live show. Oh my God. I didn't realize how easy I was to imitate until a 16 year old. Like only me.

[Kim France]

I know.

[Jen Romolini]

In like 5 seconds. If you like the show, please rate and review it across the platforms. If you like it, if you don't, don't say anything. Like, did you see the, the most recent review that we say. Yeah, no, too much. Yeah, no, yes. And the person, the title of the review is yeah, no, off. If you want to support the production of the show, you can join our our Patreon like I said earlier patreon.com everythingisfine. You can find Kim and her not AI written blog posts which are all very good at Kim France substack.com you can find me and my nervous writing@jen Romolini.substack.com we are on Facebook as we discuss with a robust and private group. We are on Instagram EIF Podcast. The show is mixed and edited by our queen Natalie Rivera. Thank you Natalie and we'll be back next week.

[Narrator]

Over the last 75 years, over 10,000 chemicals have been introduced to our food supply, yet the EU only allows 300 food additives. But at Thrive Market, we bring our members the highest quality brands and restrict more than 1,000 ingredients found at conventional grocery stores. Making the switch is easy with our Healthy Swaps scanner, which finds better versions of all your favorite pantry, snacking and home essentials without the added junk dyes and fillers. Plus, it's all delivered straight to your door. So if you're looking to shop at a grocery store that actually cares about your health, go to thrivemarket.com podcast and you'll get 30% off your first order and a free gift.