Not Really a Thanksgiving Episode

Summary

Podcast Summary: Everything is Fine - "Not Really a Thanksgiving Episode"

Release Date: November 25, 2024

Hosts: Jennifer Romolini and Kim France

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1. Wedding Reflections and Personal Experiences

The episode kicks off with Jen Romolini and Kim France sharing their recent experiences attending weddings over the weekend. Jen discusses a friend's wedding where Renee married her longtime girlfriend, highlighting the authenticity and personal touches that made the event special. Jen reflects on how second or subsequent weddings often exclude unnecessary traditions, allowing couples to focus on what truly matters to them.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen Romolini ([02:05]): “Mine was just a delight. It was our friend Renee's wedding. She married her very longtime girlfriend, Jen, and it made me realize...”
• Jen Romolini ([05:16]): “I felt like such an adult. And we left fairly early because... I was home watching bake off by 11.”

The conversation delves into their past wedding experiences, reminiscing about traditional elements they now find outdated. Both hosts express a sense of nostalgia mixed with relief at having had more relaxed, meaningful ceremonies in subsequent weddings.

2. Navigating Social Skills and Personal Development

Jen introduces her recent enrollment in a social skills class designed for neurodiverse children, sharing her observations on how the program benefits both children and mothers. She discusses the challenges she faces in initiating and maintaining conversations, highlighting the importance of structured social interactions.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen Romolini ([17:38]): “I've told you that you take it simultaneously with your child. So the child's in one room...”
• Jen Romolini ([20:42]): “I think you're right. It's absolutely right. With shapewear, sometimes we get the wrong size.”

The hosts emphasize the value of learning and practicing social skills, not just for the children but also for themselves. Kim humorously admits she could use some social skills lessons, leading to a lighthearted exchange about communication techniques.

3. Media and Entertainment Insights

The discussion shifts to their favorite TV shows and media consumption. Jen praises "The Golden Bachelorette" for its authentic portrayal and the host's integrity, while Kim shares her disdain for certain reality shows, appreciating the cooperative nature of "Great British Bake Off."

Notable Quotes:

• Jen Romolini ([22:42]): “The Golden Bachelorette was phenomenal. The finale was last week. This was my favorite season of a reality show of all time.”
• Kim France ([24:34]): “They don't do any of that nasty competitive, drama-creating stuff.”

The hosts also touch upon series like "Bad Sisters" and "Yellowjackets," expressing their mixed feelings about subsequent seasons not meeting expectations. They agree that some shows lose their essence over time, making them less engaging.

4. Creative Pursuits and Personal Projects

Jen shares her commitment to a year-long writing intensive with Beth Pickens, aiming to finally write her novel. She discusses the challenges of transitioning from nonfiction to fiction, emphasizing the need for structured support to overcome creative blocks.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen Romolini ([29:15]): “I signed up for a year-long writing intensive that starts in January to finally write this novel.”
• Jen Romolini ([33:08]): “I just have to learn it because I want to do it.”

Kim echoes Jen’s enthusiasm, encouraging her to pursue creative endeavors despite the intimidation that comes with new formats. The conversation underscores the importance of discipline and commitment in achieving creative goals.

5. Listener Q&A: Health, Wellness, and Personal Challenges

The hosts address listener-submitted questions focusing on health and wellness issues commonly faced by women over 40. Topics include hormone replacement therapy, medication management, menopause symptoms, and body image concerns.

Notable Quotes:

• Anonymous Listener ([45:51]): “Have you both accepted that this is just what it takes to function as a middle-aged working woman in today's society?”
• Jen Romolini ([46:12]): “I've taken to writing the first initial of the drug in Sharpie on the lid so that I can figure out what is what.”

Jen and Kim candidly discuss their own experiences with medication and the complexities of managing multiple treatments. They offer practical advice on organizing medications and coping with the physical and emotional changes brought by menopause.

Additional Topics Covered:

• Shapewear and Body Image: Recommendations for comfortable and effective shapewear, emphasizing self-love and body acceptance.
• Hair Care: Solutions for greying eyebrows and greasy hair, including product suggestions like dry shampoos from Dry Bar and tinted eyebrows for a polished look.
• Fashion Tips: Advice on selecting quality leather belts and styling looser clothing to maintain a refined appearance without sacrificing comfort.
• Thanksgiving Planning: Strategies for managing stressful family gatherings, maintaining patience, and finding joy amidst personal challenges.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen Romolini ([50:15]): “My body is all up because of menopause. I've got a big belly. I look like the capital letter B when I turn sideways.”
• Kim France ([50:49]): “Love yourself. Love your body. Just give yourself some grace. It happens.”

6. Closing Thoughts and Holiday Wishes

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the importance of being present and finding humor in difficult situations. They encourage listeners to appreciate the moments they have and navigate holidays with gratitude and joy, despite personal struggles.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen Romolini ([63:51]): “I have to be present here. I think that's another reason I didn't get drunk.”
• Kim France ([64:47]): “Happy holidays and thanks for listening to Everything is Fine.”

They conclude by wishing listeners a happy Thanksgiving, acknowledging the challenges of the season while celebrating the warmth of gathering with loved ones.

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Conclusion

"Not Really a Thanksgiving Episode" delves into the nuanced experiences of women navigating life over 40, blending personal anecdotes with practical advice. Jen Romolini and Kim France offer relatable insights into relationships, personal growth, media consumption, creative endeavors, and health management, all while fostering a sense of community and support among their listeners.

Notable Quotes Recap:

• Jen Romolini ([02:05]): “Mine was just a delight...”
• Jen Romolini ([17:38]): “I've told you that you take it simultaneously with your child...”
• Jen Romolini ([22:42]): “The Golden Bachelorette was phenomenal...”
• Jen Romolini ([29:15]): “I signed up for a year-long writing intensive...”
• Kim France ([50:49]): “Love yourself. Love your body...”

Timestamp Highlights:

• [02:05] - Personal wedding stories
• [17:38] - Social skills class insights
• [22:42] - Discussion on "The Golden Bachelorette"
• [29:15] - Writing intensive commitment
• [45:51] - Listener Q&A on health and medications
• [63:51] - Importance of being present

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For more detailed discussions and episodes, tune into "Everything is Fine" available on your preferred podcast platform.

Transcript

[Kim France]

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[Jen Romolini]

You can trust podcasts to deliver results for your business. 80% of podcast listeners say they'll consider a brand recommendation by their favorite host. Even more impressive, 88% have taken action because of a podcast ad. If you're looking to connect with highly engaged audiences, now's the time to dive in. Download podcast Pulse 2024 for all the latest insights and see how podcast ads can drive real results for you. Hi, and welcome to Everything Is Fine, a podcast for women 40. We are your hosts. I'm Kim France.

And I'm Jen Romolini.

And Jen, we both went to weddings this weekend.

We did. How was yours?

Mine was just a delight. It was our friend Renee's wedding. She married her very longtime girlfriend, Jen, and it made me realize, like, second marriages, I think, are universally acknowledged to be better, but I think second weddings are better, too.

Yes, yes, I think so, too.

I think you're right because people don't do all the shit, you know, no matter how excited they are, no matter there isn't like a big dress. There isn't like, you know, people decide what's important to them. If a band is important to them, then there's a band. If, like, you know, really good food is important to them, that's the thing they focus on. But it just. It felt so much like the creation of Renee and Jen and not anybody's parents too.

Yes. That is it. It's not just second. Cause mine wasn't a second wedding. Well, it was for one of them, but it was a older wedding. Like I just also feel like even if you're getting married for the first time and you're older, like it's again that same thing. That it's not. It's not. Right. It's not driven by obligation.

Right. Right. I mean, I look back at my first wedding and I can't believe that was me.

Oh, I. My first wedding, I wore gloves. Okay.

You wore gloves. Amazing.

Oh God. Giant like meringue dress. Like Catholic church. The whole Catholic mass. So it was an hour long ceremony. I mean, yeah, nightmare. But yeah. Why can't you believe it was you and yours?

The dress for one thing. The dress, definitely. I ended up going more bridy than I thought I would. Just like the matching dresses for my two maids of honor and like all the corny shit.

Yeah. The garter. I did the garter ceremony. Oh, wow. Yes. Ew. Disgusting. Fucking disgusting. Ew, ew, ew. I can still remember. I also was wearing lace white lace stockings underneath my dress. I can't. I like really like. I talk about like an Italian princess. It was awful.

Do photographs exist?

They do, but I would only show you.

No sharing on the Facebook page.

No. I was 21 and I look like I'm 45.

Amazing. And what was your hair doing?

My hair was slicked back. Slicked back and with like a veil attached to it. So my hair was not like giant, but the dress was like rhinestone and pearls and I mean it was everything that you could. It was like a David's bridal special.

You know, My hair was blonde when I got married the first time.

Wow. Mine was brown. Mine was brown. Yours was blonde. That's crazy.

I went through a blonde phase. A very ill advised blonde phase.

It's hard to make very brown hair blonde.

Yeah. And also I had very brown hair person features.

Yes, yes.

It was just a bad idea. And then I went to one hairdresser who was supposed to be like one of the big hairdressers in the city. And she started dyeing my eyebrows too. So I looked crazy.

Oh my God. Oh my God. No, it's like when I. Funny, because I don't know, it's like you can be boring about your. Like I'm totally boring about my hair. But it's what works. Every time I've deviated from it, I'm just always disappointed. Like when I went red for a minute, it was like, yeah, this isn't. This isn't right. Like, what am I doing? I was trying to look like Joan from Mad Men. It was a mistake. Mistakes were made.

When was that?

That was right after I left Lucky. I was working from home, which might have. Like, if I had been at Lucky, someone would have been like, what the are you doing? But, like, I was. I just was like trying new things. I mean, I went to a bad person and it was bad. It was bad for my skin tone. I just looked like one. Kind of one big like, magenta ball. Because I also have like a red skin tone. It was bad.

Yikes.

So, yeah, my wedding was fantastic. My outfit turned out to be just right. My whole family's outfits turned out to be just right. But I will tell you something. Guess how many glasses of wine I had at this wedding?

One.

One.

I knew that's how you were going. I could tell. How did you do that?

I just was like, I'm not really into drinking wine right now. I don't want to be drunk at this wedding. And I just had one glass of wine and then I switched to water. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it in myself. It is so out of character for me.

And no edible. You had no edible?

No, not at the wedding. No, I did not. I did not. I was just. I was enjoying myself. I was really present. It was a really emotional wedding. My sister in law found, you know, really found love. Like, they're so in love, it's insane. And I. There was a lot of complicated family things going on. And I just thought, I don't want to be drunk for this at all. I don't want to be altered for this at all. I want to be able to sort of like also maneuver my child through this in a healthy way. And I could tell that like, Alex was on edge and if I had started drinking, we could have like really gotten into it. And I didn't want. You know what I mean? Like, I just. But I felt like such an adult. And we left it like, you know, a reasonable time. We left fairly early because, you know, we had a kid with us. And I was home watching bake off by 11.

Amazing sober.

It was great. I was like, oh, this is sobriety.

Yeah, I should try that.

Yeah, I felt really good because I didn't say anything. I mean, though, you know what I will say I still am embarrassed by myself. Like, I still am. Like, why did I say that to that person?

Oh, me too.

Even without the booze, even with no booze, I'm still like, wait, why did I, like, have that emotional outburst and be like, oh, I wish I saw you more often, Ali, you know?

Right. By the way, I saw our friend Minna at the wedding.

Oh, how's Minna?

She looked so good.

She's gorgeous.

She looked so good. I said, I can't wait to tell Jen how great you look.

What is she. What was she wearing?

I don't remember.

How could you not remember?

I don't remember because I just remember talking to her face.

All right. I mean, that's fine. I just not. I want to know what she was wearing. I want photographic evidence. Oh, sorry, listeners. Minna is an old friend of both of ours and very, very close friend of mine, and I'm kind of dying to know what she wore. Um, no. I felt like I looked good at this wedding. I felt it all worked out. It was. It was nice. It was. It was. You know, it was. It was. It was very, like, I didn't feel like I was a messy person. I do have a new thing I want to deal with on my face. What is. What is your chin situation? Like, what.

Okay, give me a little bit more. What are you looking for?

Do you have, like, a puckered chin? I'm starting to get, like, this puckered strawberry. Like, every time anybody ever goes near my chin or my jaw, they're always like, oh, that's tight. Oh, that's tight. Like, the dentist is like, oh, that's tight. The chiropractor is like, oh, that's tight. Everyone's like, oh, that's tight. Yeah, even the. Even the dermatologist. Like, oh, that's tight. And the tension of my jaw, I mean, I've ground through, like, mouth guards. The tension of my jaw is now starting to all settle in my chin, and it now has this, like, permanent puckered, like, appearance that I'm going to have to. I'm going to have to get. I'm not going to have to, but I'm going to get somebody to fix. It is like, a permanent, like, puckery texture. I forget what it's called. It's not called strawberry chin, but it's something like that. And I'm now obsessed with, like, what the fuck am I going to do with this weird, like, always, clenched chin?

Well, I can't. I mean, I can't see it over zoom.

You can't See it over zoom. Can't see skin texture over zoom. But when I tell you this is a thing, it's a new fucking thing. It's a new thing.

Strawberry chin.

Strawberry. I'm. I'm just calling it that. It's puckered chin. It's puckered chin. If anybody out there works in dermatology or has this, them themselves, understand that this is a. This is a. It's a. It's a fucking thing. It's un. It's. You can't do anything about. I mean, you can do things about. You can get it filter, you can get Botox in it.

Interesting.

Yeah.

It's time for me to get some injections.

You kind of know when it's time. Like, you look at it. Look at it. You know what's really cruel is that this format, audio format, is now a visual format. I was on a podcast a couple weeks ago, and it's a nice, you know, whatever. It's a fine interview. It's, you know, I. I've been getting still interviewed a lot. I'm super grateful for it. Really get to see, like, oh, this is how people interview people. This is interesting. I feel comfortable now. I don't feel comfortable, etc, But I don't think I've realized that. Or maybe they told me and I forgot that it was going to be video, that it was going to be like they were going to turn this interview into real. So the interview pops up this week on Instagram and I'm like, holy.

I know.

How. I did not. I was not. My hair is crazy. Like, even the thumbnail, like, I just look like.

No. You know, I've done a couple podcasts and not realized that they were going to use the video.

It's cruel. It is like elder abuse and the host.

It is. And the hosts have, like, perfectly situated laptops with like a ring light. And I don't have any of that shit.

No. And the thing is about recording the. The video for a podcast is. Your face is so clueless.

Yes.

Your face is so close to the screen. You just don't like a little. You're like a head in a box. It's. It's really. I don't like it. I don't think it's right. It's why we really don't. I very rarely cut video clips for the podcast because I don't think it's very. I don't think it's nice. I don't think.

No, it's not. But I do like seeing you while we're Talking.

Oh, yeah, that's fine. But, like, we're friends. Like, this shouldn't be for, like, thousands of people, like, public consumption.

No, I 100% agree.

It's. It's really. I was really. It started happening in the last couple of years. I mean, the things we do, writing and audio. We should not have to see our faces all the time. Like, that's not. It's not. I didn't sign up for that. But now, like, everything is this. And, you know, you're at home, you're doing an interview with somebody, your lighting is. It's like, whatever. I don't like it. It pisses me off.

Yeah, I get it. I get it.

I'm in Chicago.

I know you are.

Yeah. I know you are.

And when did you get there? Last night.

I got here last night. I'm in this, as I was telling you, this odd club, private club, which is where the event I'm doing for my book is later. Later today. Oh, my God, it's today. I'm doing a book club thing for my book. It's like, a hundred people are coming. I'm very excited. Yay.

Amazing.

But I'm in this private club that has a dress code. And, like, there's all this fine print on the, like, instruction man got. And I don't. Like, normal people would have read up on this before they got here. And it's like, jeans are not part of the. Like, jeans, dress. Jeans are not up to code. And I was like, fuck, what did I bring in terms of pants? And again, I'm gonna have to go to fucking Zara or something because I have packed horribly. I have, like, a pleather jumpsuit, three pairs of jeans. Like, it's not right. Why can't I pack?

Well, you should have checked the fine print. But how could you have anticipated this? Is it one of those places that says if you have tattoos, you must cover them? Sounds like that kind of place.

It feels like it's that kind of place, but it's like. Let me see what it says. It was very specific. Oh, yeah. Dress code, business casual includes collared shirt, including turtlenecks. So I guess you could wear turtlenecks, slacks. No. Dress, denim, or skirt with blouse or sweater. Sports team apparel are permitted on home game days. Okay. But the following are not considered casual attire and specifically prohibited. Torn or tattered garments are not permitted. Attire used in a workout is not acceptable between the second and ninth floors.

Wow. Yeah. That's a lot. That's a lot for your hotel.

It's a lot to enter into, but it's fun. It's actually. It's a very beautiful space in Old timey. And last night I got a little stoned and there's like, a really good art collection. And, like, walked around the whole place and looked at all the art. It was nice.

Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, it's fun.

Yeah. I like Chicago. I used to go to Chicago a lot when I was little because my father was from Chicago.

Oh, right, right. No, I've never been. I'm like, after we. After we're done recording, I'm taking an architectural boat tour and I'm going to go to an art museum.

Amazing. That's exactly what you should do with one day in Chicago.

That's right. Because you want to get a lay of. That's all you're going to get is a lay of the land. You're not going to be able to penetrate anything. So what else is happening?

Well, I saw my mom last week.

Okay.

I don't know why I'm telling this story, but I am.

All right.

I saw my mom last week. Went up to see her after a doctor's appointment, and she was going through old shit. She read some article about how the best thing old people can do is go through their shit so their children don't have to after they die.

Yeah, it's like the Swedish death practice or something.

So she shows us this photo of her. It's taken by her friend Gay, who is a professional art photographer. And it was taken when my mom was probably 40, so in the 70s, late 70s. And my mom's. She's like, gay, wanted to take a naked picture of me. She was taking naked pictures of all of her friends, but I wouldn't let her. And so instead, she poses in, like, a sheer bodysuit. And she shared it with us. And she was like. She was like. I was like, mom, you were hot. And Paul, later. Paul was like, well, now I've seen your mom's nipples. But she was just like, I never thought I was an attractive woman, but I look back and I can see that I was. And then she started going on about how many. She said, I never thought I was an attractive woman, but men never stopped putting the make on me. I was like, when you were married? She's like, yeah. I was like, who put the make on you? She's like, people, you know, and goes on to name. And goes on to name, like, a couple of relatives by marriage, you know, family, friends close enough that I called them uncle. So. And so it was crazy.

That is. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anytime you see. Anytime the curtain is pulled back with your parents and you're like, wait, what?

Yes.

It, like, it totally, like, shoots you back to being, like, 12. You're like, what is happening, Mom? Yeah.

Yes. This is embarrassing.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, no, it was really interesting. It was really interesting and also made me realize what absolute pigs men were back in the day.

And.

Oh, yeah, just like, what it must have been like to be a young, unhappily married woman getting hit on.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that it was strange. It's like the. In some ways, like, the. The freedoms were looser, you know, but at the same time, the protections were fewer, is my understanding of the 70s. I started social skills class last week.

Oh, how is this.

Okay, so, like, obviously this is for children. This is for neurodiverse children who's like, you know, just don't. Skills just. Social cues don't come naturally. Social skills don't come naturally.

But I.

So. And. And I've told you that you. You take it simultaneously with your child. So the child's in one room with kids their own age around, and you're in another room with. With. Which was in this week, at least, all moms. Okay. And the moms I was with, they seemed pretty well adjusted. Okay. And I kept being like, wait, wait, wait. Excuse me, could you just answer that again? I was like, but this assumes that we know this. So, like, the first. The first, like, exercise is like, basically it's small talk, but it's like trading information. So the whole class is about learning how to make friends, learning the difference and keep friends, learning the difference between a friend and an acquaintance and all of the steps in between. So, you know, from introduction to getting into tricky situations with friends, resolving conflict. Like, all it. It does the whole thing over the course of 14 weeks. But this first class was just like meeting people, exiting a conversation. I was like, I don't understand any of this. I kept being like, so, wait, Trading information. So, like, I ask you a question, and then you answer, and then you ask me a question.

How were the other mothers feeling towards you at that moment?

I think. I think that I was endearing to them. I don't think I was annoying. I didn't ask too many questions. Like, I was very selfish conscious. But I really was. Like, I realized how little this comes. How much this doesn't come naturally to me. Like, and then the. And then you pause for. For the person to answer. Like, just how. Like, how much I sort of Run at conversation like a wildebeest and then run away. You know, just like the most interesting thing was how to exit a conversation that's not going well. And like, they used a visual. And I had no. Like, you never turn your back on a conversation. You back out of a conversation with your face toward a person. Which was just like, blew my mind as like a social nicety. And she showed us a demonstration and she was like, which one looks like non deranged? Because if you just are like sia and you let them run away, it's totally different. Instead of being like, oh, it's so nice to meet you, you know, and you sort of back out with your face facing people. It was just like one smooth little move that I'd never thought of. And there were nuances like that. Anyway, I love social skills class, like by proxy. I'm so excited for them. I think Charlotte might even need it less than I do. But I'm. I'm psyched. 14 weeks. It's going to be incredible.

Yeah. I don't know how to back out of conversations. It's hard.

Well, they were talking about, like, how do you know someone, like, reading the cues that someone is not interested in. In what you're. In what. What you're saying, you know, just how like. But not feeling paralyzed by that. Not feeling like, oh my God, like not having anxiety around it. Realizing that that's just a normal part of getting to know people is that some people you're going to have easy conversation, and some people, it's just you're not going to have the chemistry. So it really is like breaking all that stuff down in these, like, very micro. Micro. In a micro way.

That's really cool.

Yeah, it is cool. It is cool.

I could probably use some social skills lessons.

Well, listen, if you want, we can practice because this week's homework was phone calls. Phone calls. Exchanging information, Trading information in a phone call, and finding one common interest in a phone call.

Oh, that's good. I know what I was going to say. I was going to say that with kids on the spectrum, it's probably important to have them watch cues to see if the other person is into the conversation. Because my experience with kids on the spectrum is they have their things they're fascinated by and they can just go on and on and on about them.

Exactly, exactly. So that's why trading information, like the idea of this is a trade, this is an exchange, is so important for those kids. And also just it being smooth and it not being in bursts of Conversation, you know, like. So, yeah, I'm psyched. I'm psyched. I'm psyched to be helping my kid through this. And I'm. I'm really thrilled, you know, as a side benefit for what I might get out of it. So it's. It's exciting. That. That was fun. And I was really dreading it because it was like 6:30. It's 6:30 to like 8 something. And I was like, oh, God, I don't want to be out till 8:30.

I know.

On a Tuesday.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Have you watched anything good lately?

The Golden Bachelorette was phenomenal. The finale was last week. This was my favorite season of a reality show of all time.

Really.

Because these people. Because first off, this woman, I think her name is Joan Vasos. The lady, the Bachelorette, she played like a seamless hand of reality. Like, she. Of reality tv. You knew that she. You could pretty much tell that she knew from, like, her first date with who she wound up choosing, that this was it. Like, it was so crazy to watch two people fall actually fall in love on a television show. But she just played it all so well and treated everyone with such dignity and like, even when they do, like, the, I don't know, whatever the fantasy suites, intimacy shit, because she has kids and everything, she was like, basically, she was like, I'm not fucking anybody. Like, take the beds out of the fantasy suites. I will sit and have intimate conversations with these men, but I'm not going to be having sex with anyone. Like, she just, like, played it like, it was just really. Just full class. And it was a really enjoyable. It was a really enjoyable season. And I don't like reality shows, but this one I was really into and my kid was really into it, so it was fun. And I'm watching Bake off, which I love.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't love Bake Off. I like it. I like it. It doesn't, like, get me the way, like, I can't watch episode after episode after episode the way I can with certain shows, like Shark Tank.

Yeah, it's weird. It's weird. It's weird how we're all programmed so differently that, like, some of them just, like, hit you and you're just like, yes, this one's for me. I just find it to be so calm and nice. I think they're all so nice, and I'm like, ooh, what will they bake next?

You know, they are nice and they're not like an American reality shows where Americans, like, I'm not here to make friends.

No.

Like, they don't do any of that shit. That's what I've noticed about the Great British Bake Off. They don't do any of that nasty competitive, like drama creating between people.

No, no, they don't. They don't. They don't do any of that. And they actually help each other a lot. But this season was a particularly skilled set of bakers. Like they were all, they're all really, really good. So it's an actual competition which has been fun, fun to watch. And I don't bake or do I. Nor do I eat sugar. So it's not like my interest area. What have you. Did you watch Bad Sisters?

I am disappointed by the second season of Bad Sisters.

Oh no. Sometimes I don't know. Maybe you won't be.

Maybe you won't be. It was a real. It's a real case of that show should have been one season and done. It was a great season.

That's how I feel about Yellowjackets. I never got into the second season. I was like, nope, this doesn't, this isn't for me.

Yep. It didn't sustain itself.

No, no, that's. That's a shame. That's a shame.

I mean, maybe I'm wrong. I watched a couple episodes. It just seems like everything. They're just straining in every way to make it worth having a second season.

Yeah.

Like the plot points just don't feel. I don't know, I'm not into it. And that is very disappointing because I was really looking forward to it.

Yeah. There's just some things that are just not like, you're just like. Nope.

That I.

Because the thing is I have, you know, we only have limited time on this planet. I'm no longer gonna like be a completionist and watch something that I think is trash.

Yeah, there's no reason to.

There's no reason. I read in, in the Los Angeles Times speaking of television, there's a new Ted Danson show coming out and it's from the people who did the Good Place and whatever, but it's about he like infiltrates like an old folks home as like a spy. It sounds like a dumb premise. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to my point. But the point that he, that Danson, who I think is a national treasure, makes about this show and why he wanted to do it was because he was talking about how we make our lives small as we get older. Like when you're 20 and someone asks you to do something you do it. You know, when you're in 20s and 30s, you're like, oh, you want somebody asks you to go somewhere? You're like, yes. But when your 40s and 50s and 60s, I imagine you tend to be like, no, I'm not. No. God, I'm tired. I have this work, spouse, kid, whatever the fuck it is. Yeah. And he was saying that he had not really even realized that Covid exacerbated that situation. And he had not even really realized how small he had made his life. And this show that he's in, that. I don't know the name of it, it doesn't matter, is really expanding his mind about how. I mean, we talk about this with your mom all the time, about how staying active and engaged and curious and going out and doing things and trying new things and all of that making your life bigger, you have to kind of fight for it. But it really. The. It's really the sort of key to living a. A more robust and satisfied life as you get older. And he was saying that he watched Jane Fonda as a model. You know, she would go and film Grace and Frankie, and then she would be on a plan to do some activism thing, and then she would be, you know, going on this trip, seeing a place she'd never seen before. How she just never stops. And in her 80s, she was like, that's. That's the key. That's the key. Just don't stop.

Yep. No, the stopping is the bad part. Well, I started something new recently.

Oh, tell me.

I started doing the crossword.

All right. All right.

No, this is a big thing for me. This is a big thing for me.

Are you bad at crosswords? I'm terrible at crosswords.

Well, my belief has always been that I would be horrible at crosswords. I like to play word games. But the New York Times crossword always really intimidated me.

Same. Yeah.

And then Paul was like, just do Monday. Just do Monday. It's so easy.

[Kim France]

Okay.

[Jen Romolini]

And it is. It is actually easy. And once you sort of figure out the format for clues, you know, once you start figuring that out. So now I do Mondays and Tuesdays, I think, you know, I don't anticipate. And then it gets harder again. Like, then, you know, it gets harder all week, of course, but I think there's a big. A big drop off, sort of. It gets very hard on Wednesdays and keeps getting harder. But I have my Mondays and Tuesdays, and it makes me feel smarter.

That's great. I think that's great. I think that's I admire that. And I'm a little envious. I feel like that's the thing I want to get into. I've always had the same feeling. Like I'm too dumb for crosswords or like the way that I'm smart is not crossword smart.

No, you. You do the crossword on Mondays. They have auto checks, so it tells you if you're putting in the wrong word.

Mm, okay. Okay.

Which I'm sure some people think is cheating, but it's amazing I'm doing this at all.

Yeah, but you're like learning. You're like learning a skill. Basically. You're learning a skill going forward.

Yeah.

I signed up, up for a year long writing intensive that starts in January to finally write this novel. Because I am never gonna do it unless I. Unless somebody pushes me to do it.

And whose intensive is it?

It is Beth Pickens, your Art Will Save youe Life. Beth Pickens, who is basically an arts therapist. And I specifically wanted that because, I mean, the tagline of the. Of the program is, this is an intense program for intense people. And I was like, yes. And it's like, she's. She's gonna force you to write a book. Like, there's, you know, it's. If you. If you've been sort of hemming and hawing or you have an idea or whatever, you don't even have to be in progress, Which I'm not at all in progress, though I do have an idea. She's like, I'm really good at getting books out of people. And you get like one on ones with her. There's feedback, there's some workshopping, but really it's a commitment to finish your project within a year.

Wow.

So, because I figured it out, like, why have I been able to write books before? And I'm like, oh, because nonfiction books have contracts. Because you write a proposal, you get a contract, you get money. And I've always been like, well, you know, I mean, we differ on this. But I've always been like, well, now I'm locked in. I can't get out of this. But with novels, you have to write it first and then you get paid. And that is turning out to be not incentivizing to me.

No, not at all. I can understand that.

And I really want to. Like, this is. I mean, we'll see. This is such an earnest dream. But, like, I really would like to become a novelist. And I would like to write several novels, like, before I stop working and can't. Can't write several if I don't write one. So, yeah, I signed up, like, last minute, last minute. I signed up and, like, right before the deadline, I was like, okay, I'm just doing it. And, yeah, we'll see. We'll see how it goes. But, yeah, you have to commit to write at least 5,000 words a month, which is not actually that much.

No, 5,000 words over the course of a month is not so much.

It's not. It's really not. So, you know, I think it's. It's. I think she said she estimated that it's 15 to 20 hours a month, which also is not that. That much.

Yeah, it's not the number of words, like, I can always manage that. It's that I always feel like they're not in the right order yet, you know?

Yes, of course. And with something new that you, you know, you've never done before, a format. Like, I found this with. With podcast writing, too. A format that you've never tried before. You just. It's so embarrassing because you really turn out, like, the worst. First, you just have no idea what you're doing because you don't know. You don't know what not to do yet. You know, you need to learn those tricks. Like, oh, that's a really. Like, I don't. I don't know what's going to be a trope, what's going to be cliche. I just don't know how to write fiction. And I'm not going to learn unless I really commit and start. So I'm dreading it already. But also, it let me off the hook for the rest of the year. And also, it just gave me. Because I'd been feeling like, well, what else? What am I going to do? What's my next creative project? And it felt kind of good to be like, okay, this is it. This is. This is now. I know. And from now until the end of the year, I'm not gonna torment myself over the fact that I'm not producing anything creative. At the beginning of next year, I start.

Yep, yep. That sounds amazing.

We'll see. We'll see how it goes. I just have to learn it. I just have to. I. Like you're learning the crossword. I just have to learn how to do this because I want to do it.

Yeah, no, fiction is very intimidating to me, you know, really intimidating. I just read this book and it's called I Wrote it down so I can mention it. It's called the Most, and it's by a writer named Jessica Anthony.

Okay.

And it takes place over the course of one unseasonably warm November day in the 50s. And this housewife, it's a Sunday, she goes downstairs and gets in the apartment building's pool and she won't get out. She just won't get out.

Oh, wow.

And so over the course of, of the day, you sort of get the whole background about her marriage, which is very unhappy, and everything that happened to lead her to that moment. And I was just amazed once again, like I always am when I read good fiction at people's ability to create universes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. Right. But I have to be honest, like, I've been thinking about it so much, my, after writing that book, my own life is so much less compelling to me. And also just getting older, like, I kind of want to disappear into something. Like, I, I feel like that's why this age is when, you know, novelists see the most success. I mean, we'll see for me, but I feel like you've experienced so much. And also I don't really want to be like, just like we were talking about earlier. I don't want to be on camera. I don't need to be. My ego's totally different now. I still wanna create shit though.

So.

Like the idea of disappearing into a work and bringing all of my experience to, you know, just at this point, like, just knowing so many different people and living so many different things, we have a lot to bring to, to fictional work. Yeah.

You know, I don't especially wanna read fiction written by young people who. Sally Rooney. Not interested. It don't give a shit.

I mean, normal people is the best. Is the horniest, best show. But. And nor. And the book was fine, but. Yeah, I, I hear that. But younger people want to read younger people. Yay. Good for them.

Yeah, good for them. It's just, it's not for me. As time goes by.

Yeah, it's not. I don't, I don't, I don't even know what I'm resonating toward. Like, that's, that's the other thing. Like I, I read so many good memoirs when I was writing my memoir and now I'm excited to read a bunch of novels. Like, I'm excited to have a discipline and I'm excited to have some kind of thing that I'm very committed to again.

Well, there's nothing better than that feeling when you've been away from it for a while and you can't wait to get back to it.

Yes, yes, that happens. So rarely. That happens so rarely. No. Alex was working on, he had a long story he was working on and he's working on a book and he has a full time job but he was working on a long magazine profile and he was discussing like, oh, I think I finally figured out this transition. I couldn't bring these two things together and I was like, I almost had like ptsd. It's like, oh, I haven't written anything long in so long that it did that that matters. You know, writing blog posts, it's different. It's just like, you know, like it's totally different than when you really have to construct something because that's, that's hard. Let's take a quick break from some ads. Support for Everything is Fine comes from Rich Ritual did you know that in the winter time your skin tends to dry out? Of course you knew. That is a tough time retaining moisture. Even if you're keeping up a big multiple step skincare routine, your skin gets drier if looks a little crepier, a little more wrinkly. Well with Rituals Hyac skin supplement you can actually help fight that dryness. It's a clinically proven way to support skin skin hydration with science backed benefits like reducing wrinkles and improving skin smoothness. I love Ritual. I've been using Ritual for years now. I use their multivitamin, I use their melatonin and I use hair, which I find is a really easy thing to add to my routine. The they taste good, Hyacinth tastes good, it doesn't smell bad, it's aesthetically pleasing packaging. I I think that these are just stunning stellar supplements. Haasera itself in a clinical study led to a 2.9 time increase in skin smoothness within 90 days as compared to a placebo. So you could enhance your skin care routine from the inside out with one capsule enhanced with soothing vanilla as well. So there's definitely some vanilla in there. It's also rigorously tested and validated by a third party for allergens, microbes and heavy metals. Ritual works with world class certification bodies to validate their products and they they have industry leading sustainability standards which I really love. So start ha today to support your glow without compromising on clean science. Hyah From Ritual is a clinically proven skin supplement you can actually trust. Get 25% off your first month for a limited [e-mail] fine that's ritual.com fine for 25% off your first month.

[Kim France]

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[Jen Romolini]

And we're back. I have. I have something. I have an exercise. We don't have to do anything with this, but last night in my hotel room, I came. You ever come across, like, a weird Instagram thing that you're like, wait, what is that? Like, it was some lecture of, like, some man talking about how to really know a person.

Huh.

Anyway, he. He was talking about the questions we should ask people in order to have more intimate relationships. And I'm not asking that we should not answer these, but I thought they were so interesting. And because I was high, I had to, like, replay the tik tok like 400 times. The real still, I can. I barely got them, but I thought they were so good. Okay, the first one is, if we met a year from now, what would we be celebrating? Okay. What would you do if you weren't afraid? What commitments have you made that you no longer believe in? If this five years was a chapter in your life, what would it be about? And what is your gift that you are currently holding in exile?

What is your gift that you are currently holding in exile?

Yep. What. What do you do well, that you are currently keeping yourself from doing and keeping from the world?

Oh, wow. Yeah. Those are good questions.

Aren't they amazing?

I don't feel like answering any of them.

No, they're all super hard, but it's like, it's real. They were really good. I was like, this is. This is really. This is really amazing. Like, also the commitment thing, like, what have you committed to that you no longer believe in? I was like, whoa. Probably many fucking things. Like, just the idea of, like, real reassessing your. Like, having a reassessment of your life. Because I feel like we just get fixed. We're like, well, this is who I am and this is how I do things. I don't know how to read it, I don't know how to do a crossword, etc, and we don't re. We just don't reassess as we get older. We just are like, these pants are comfortable. That's it.

Oh, pants. I can't even with pants.

The pants podcast. Wait, where. Where are you with pants this week? Let's have a pants check in.

I just. I just. I need some pants. I really badly need some pants. I need a nice pair of, like, trousers.

Yes.

I need some new jeans. And I don't even know how to. Like, I'm wearing a pair of jeans that I bought from J. Crew today. I'm not even sure they look good on me, but because I have so few pairs of jeans that, like, work right now, I just wear them.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Until I got. Until I got the tits on the ass pants from Fashion Brand company jeans. I really did not have a pair of jeans that fit well. I also got a pair of cords from Everlean that I like. They're stretchy cords, which help.

Yeah, I've had them.

Yeah, they're good. But they're, like, short.

They are short.

They're short. I fucking hate. I don't want short pants. They don't elongate the legs. Like, I want a pant that, like, goes down to, like, a normal length.

Yep, I get that. And you're tall.

I'm tall. I don't want shants. It's like they cut you off. So weird. Oh, God. As I was discussing to you on our way on before we got on, I'm looking over at my suitcase. I have once again packed horribly. I brought a fucking pleather jumpsuit, which wide. Like, I never.

Pleather jumpsuit. I know.

Yes, that one. I do look really cute in it. But, like, anyway, I'm gonna wind up going to Zara. This is why I should just not pack anything and just, like, go to Zara. When I get to a new place like this is because I'm like, oh, I Need a dress. I need a fucking dress for this thing. Especially because the place is such a dress code. I can't wear these short ass cords. I can't wear my, my jeans with the boobs on the back and I can't wear the pleather jumpsuit. And that's basically what I packed.

Some trips are just bad packing. Like when we went to Palm Springs, I just packed bad.

Yes, that was a bad pack. That was. But you didn't know.

I didn't know. I, I, I wanted it to be warmer than it was there.

Yep, yep, yep. Or like, yeah, it's, I often pack badly when it's like out of practice clothes. Like it's been hot in Los Angeles for, you know, a million months and it's colder here and I just forgot what it's like to dress in cold weather. Like if it's out of season dressing, I can really, I can really have a horror, a horrible pack.

Yep, yep, yep. That can go really wrong.

Oh my God. We've been talking for 41 minutes. How is that possible? Should we, I was like, what are we going to talk about today? Should we answer a couple listener questions?

Yes, I solicited new ones.

I know, I saw that, I saw that. I was pretty excited. Oh wait, there's one that's not even in the official, the official questions that I need to, that I need to answer because I think it's so good. It's about like keeping our old husks together. Wait, where, where is it? I am 52 and I recently started hormone replacement therapy. I believe Kim and Jen have mentioned they are on hormones as well. You are not. I am. For me, this means an estrogen pass, oral progesterone and testosterone cream, each dose daily or bi weekly and placed on alternating areas of the body. In addition, I am on a low dose antidepressant and last year was diagnosed with ADHD and finally, after much deliberation, began taking Adderall. I don't drink much anymore, but I do indulge in edibles and THC vape here and there, which I consider essential to my overall well being. Then there are the many supplements which I won't list here, but you get the idea. For someone who took very little medication for the majority of my life, this seems like a lot. Anyway, my question is in two parts. Have you both accepted that this is just what it takes to function as a middle aged working woman in today's society? I have.

Yes.

Yes, I. Anonymous. This is an anonymous member. I too. Anonymous member. I'M on almost exactly this same cocktail, except I'm not on an antidepressant, but I'm on hormone replacement therapy, ADHD medicine, and a suite of supplements. And yes, this is what it is. Unless I wanna feel like shit.

Yep, I have many drugs I take every day. I have so many medications I take every day, and they're all in matching bottles, which is a pain in the ass. So I've taken to writing the first initial of the drug in Sharpie on the lid so that I can figure out what is what. I mean, it's. I mean, I've suffered from really serious depression. As a person who's suffered from really serious depress depression, I know that my antidepressants are just part of my life. For the rest of my life. I've accepted that. I'm fine with it.

Yes, I have taken to this pillbox.

She's holding up an old lady pillbox.

I'm holding up an old lady pillbox because if not, I travel with it with all my supplements in it. And also I've started using it at home because if not, I forget to fucking take things. And if I don't take things, I. I feel like shit. Like, if I don't have a regular vitamin D supplement, I start getting numb in my toes. Like, I have figured out things that really work for me. If I don't take iron every three days, my hair starts falling out. Like, it's just so much shit. Anyway. Okay, so then part two of the question is, what do we do when the zombies come? I feel like by the time I gather up all my medications, preparations, powders and pills, they will. They will have got me. Do I just yell to my family and say, save yourselves, and then create a distraction, offering myself up in one last hot, flash, free sacrifice of womanhood? Is there any other option? No, there's no other option.

No, there really isn't. I keep all my meds in a bag, so I feel like if something happened, I could grab them really quickly.

Wow, that's smart. That's really smart.

I keep them in, like, a cosmetic bag.

Wow, that's really smart. I don't do that. Mine are all, like, haphazard throughout my cabinets.

Yeah, no, this works out well. It works out well that way. No, it's just part of it. And it's not even necessarily a huge bummer part of it. It just is.

Yeah. Yeah, it is. It just is and it just is. And, like, I feel like I'm lucky that there are things that make me feel Better, because the months before I was doing all of this, but was in perimenopause, I felt like shit. I looked like shit. I had no. So I feel like. I mean, this is just what it is, forever.

Yep. Yep.

Okay. Why am I so, so cold? Is this a thing that happens when we hit menopause? Like, I'm totally freezing all the time? Kim.

Well, you know, my friend Bonnie who came on the podcast, who had had very bad hot flashes, told me that she was having something called cold flashes, where. Where the inside you. You just feel really cold and you can't get warm. And I wonder if it's that.

It could be that. I think that with anything like this, you should just. Just get it checked out. Somebody wrote in, check your thyroid levels. But it could be a circulation thing. I have no idea. I'm cold all the time. It could be a weight situation. I don't know what your weight is, but it could be that the thinner I am, the colder I am.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, it sucks.

That's the theme of today's Q and A part portion. Yes, and it sucks.

Yes, and it sucks. Okay, okay. So this is a question. I'm not going to read all of this because some of this and all respect to this listener, but some of this is not very nice to this person's body. But, you know, the short version is person is feeling uncomfortable with a menopause belly and not feeling so great about their body, and they're wondering if there's a great shapewear that works and doesn't force you to be a contortionist and also allows for easy bathroom breaks. Because, as this listener says, my bladder is the size of a dime, and I live in terror of using the gusset gap poorly and then smelling like pee. Kim.

I mean, I just wore some Spanx tights the other night to that wedding. They weren't too tight. They were not impossible to get on, and they were reasonably comfortable. I still like Spanx. I know a lot of people like skims, but I haven't ever tried it. But I think just making sure if you get Spanx or something like that, that you're not getting too tight a size.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I think you're right. I think that's absolutely right. With shapewear, sometimes we get the wrong s. Go a size up sometimes. Like, I don't need to be squeezed in like a sausage.

But love yourself. Love your body. I. My body is all up because of menopause. I've got a big belly. I look like the capital letter B when I turn sideways. As I've said before, it's not fun, but just have some. Just give yourself some grace. It happens.

Totally. And everything's sagging and bagging anyway. It's just like I looked at my boobs the other day, and I was like, what the fuck are these boobs?

I know.

How are they? Like, I have small boobs. How have they dropped this far? They're small. You think they didn't have this. This far to go?

I know.

It's sad. It's sad. And they're like, you know, they're like a shell of their former selves.

I know my breasts are a shell of their former selves, but part of that is because I had surgery on one of them.

Right, right. Right. Now, mine is just, like, loss of, like, fat and whatever, all of it. Any advice for graying eyebrows? Just pencil and brow gel or something more.

I leave that to you.

New brow will make your eyebrows darker. It will make your eyebrows darker and thicker. If you want to try it. I feel like it's safe for brows. I would not use any of these serums on my eyes. The more I'm learning about lash serums, growth serums, but brow serums, I think new brow is the best one, and it will make them. It will make them darker. But you can also. There's a couple of other things. You can also get them dyed. I've had. I've gotten my eyebrows tinted darker because I have blonde brows and also I fine brows, and I do like the way they look tinted. Make sure they don't go too dark, or you're going to look like Annette Funicello, which. That is a reference that like.

Like, wow.

I know, I know. But, yes, really dark. You don't want that really super dark brow look. But they can do them like a light brown, and they look good. So go into a waxing salon and you can get them tinted. I. I love that look, actually. Or you can. What is it called? What's that last one you can do? That's like something bleeding.

Oh, microblading.

Microblading. You can also microblade them. I don't like the look of microblading, but a lot of people do.

Yeah, it's. I mean, I think most of the time when you can. It's. You can get it kind of subtle so that you can't tell, but it's just a dead giveaway.

I. Yeah, I don't. I just don't like the look of it. I'd rather Try all of these other things, and I know a lot of people do like it. It's just not for me. What is a really good lip moisturizer? I've been using the overnight Laneige for years, but I'm wondering if there are new options out there. I actually just did a story on this and I talked to dermatologists about the best. The best thing, the best lip moisturizer. That's not lineage, because I did not have a good experience with Laneige. And it's Aquaphor.

I was gonna say.

It's Aquaphor.

Exactly what I was gonna say.

La Roche Posay also makes a good lip balm that's highly moisturizing. That's what dermatologists told me. But Aquaphor was number one among the people I talk to.

Amazing.

Okay. I am leaning towards looser Eileen Fisher esque clothes and really think it can look cool and refined. But when I'm wearing set outfits, it's giving pajamas. I'm clearly not doing something right. Maybe the lengths of skirt, et cetera. Who are some good stylists that I can follow to help or do you have any advice, Kim? I don't know.

I mean, here's the thing. I wrote about Eileen Fisher not long ago on the substance. And what I said was that Eileen Fisher clothes are, you know, individually taken individually, some of them are really nice pieces, but they don't tend to look good together. It tends to look a little slumpy if you're wearing a head to toe Eileen Fisher look.

I think that's right. I think that's right. I think that head to toe flouncy looks sloppy. It's like you need something more structured thrown in the mix.

Yep, yep.

I think that's. I think that's where you're. Where you're missing. Where you're missing it. And maybe it is the length of the skirt. Maybe the skirt needs to be brought up a little bit. You know, maybe it's. It's like hitting your calf in a weird way and you just want to bring it up a couple of inches. Y. But I. I think that you're right. And even, you know, sometimes it's like belting. Sometimes it's like. It's like adding a belt that doesn't exist to give you a cinched waist, but it. Or maybe it's a blazer that is a little more structure. Oh, fuck. I just thought about another horrible thing. I brought. I brought a vest. I brought a vest with me. I have packed the worst items of clothing. I have 40 dresses at home that I could have worn. I'm so mad at myself. Okay, any advice for highlighted hair that's super greasy? I don't even use conditioner on my ends anymore. And still very heavy and greasy. After washing, I'm using a colored hair shampoo, the Aussie one. Thanks.

I got nothing.

I would say. I just went to Dry Bar over the weekend and Dry Bar has like five incredible dry shampoos that are also thickening shampoos. Thickening dry shampoos. Like, if you have thinner hair, their dry shampoo is so good. And so is K18s. And I also have very greasy roots and K18 or dry bars. Dry shampoo, I would recommend. I think that's how you're going to deal with your greasy hair. And I would say for me the worst is when my hair is thinning and greasy. So it's like greasy, stringy. That is like, like I could gag at it. And those, those two things. K18's dry shampoo, which is actually weirdly wet, but like it finishes dry and it's gorgeous. It's expensive but incredible. And dry bars, that's what I would recommend.

Great.

Okay, this person would like to know how are we the same people? It seems every week you talk about so many things. I just did too. This week I watched my old ass and Love Somebody somewhere. I'll never forget when Jen talked about things to come. That's one of my favorite movies. And it's pretty obscure. That's all.

Thank you. I don't know how we're the same person.

I don't either. I don't either know how we're this, we're the, we're the same person. But I'm glad. Maybe it's because we're all born around the same time. We have all the same cultural references. We have all the the same like internalized misogyny. We have all the same, like, we just have all. We have all the same. We're just like raised in the same, like, environment, you know? And maybe it just like built into our bones.

It's kind of beautiful when you think about it.

Yeah, it is nice to think about it, especially since culture often lately I'm just like, who the is this person? What is that? I don't. It's like nice to feel relevant among certain people because really the younger people should. I really am beginning more and more to not understand and also not have interest in.

Yeah, I agree with that. I, I, I feel like I can. There are certain sub stacks in Newsletters I read where I'm like, I don't even understand.

Yes, yes. Like, I'm not even speaking your same language.

Yes. Yes. And that's how it's supposed to be. That's fine. You know, it's not for me. That culture is not for me.

Yes.

But it is a little sobering.

Well, that is what it is. You start to realize that the world is not for you. And that is sobering. Yeah, that is sobering. I was listening to a Ram Dass podcast, and he was talking about. He was talking about raising teenagers and the struggle that's inherent in, like, two souls. It's so such different periods of life. One beginning a life and the other ending it. And I was like, excuse me, Ram Dass.

Yeah, really ending it.

But it's kind of true. It's kind of true. Yeah. It's like we're. We're. We're on the. We're on the down slope. They're on the. We're there on the come up. It's totally different.

Yep. Yep.

Um, okay. I need good but not expensive leather belts. Less than $100, ideally. Where should I look? Are there specific terms I should be wary of that would indicate lesser quality?

I think madewell often has good, good belts. Madewell and J. Crew. I bought a belt I love on Amazon for about $11, but I'm not going to recommend that to anyone.

I get. I've bought a lot of vintage belts on ebay. Like, really cheap. Nine bucks. You know, you can get a really nice leather, vintage leather belt on ebay or, you know, any other vintage site. But yeah, that's. That's what I would recommend. But I think you're right. I think madewell and J. Crew make good ones, too. And, you know, you can tell if it's not going to be a nice belt. It says that it's plastic. That's it. Okay, last question. This is a question about Thanksgiving, which, by the way, Kim France, is this week of this episode coming out.

I can't even believe it. I can't even believe it. What are you doing? What am I doing? Going to my brother Todd's house.

Fun.

I think it'll be a kind of smallish Thanksgiving. My older brother is getting his knee replaced the day before so his portion of the family won't be there.

Okay. Okay.

Which is kind of a drag, but. So it'll be a small, pleasant Thanksgiving at my brother's. What are you doing?

I am going to. We have friends who have, like, you know, just people like, own a holiday. We have friends who just own Thanksgiving. Like, they have friends. Friends who come in from out of town, all over the country, who come in to stay and come to their Thanksgiving dinner. They're both in the booze business, so they make the best cocktails. They're the famous froze slushy people. But it's funny, they plan it for months. So I know exactly what I'm bringing. I got a deviled egg caddy. I'm bringing deviled eggs with caviar.

I love deviled eggs.

I make such good deviled eggs. Also, you have to be vetted before you're allowed to bring a dish.

Dish amazing.

I'm bringing deviled eggs and I'm bringing like a corn pudding. And I might. If. I might make a gluten free cake if I really feel like it, but I might not. Are you cooking anything?

Yeah, I'll end up cooking a couple things. I'll probably roast some root vegetables. That's something I nice do successfully. There's a dish Paul likes to make with cranberries, so I think he'll probably make that.

Nice. I love Thanksgiving. I was talking to, like, my Uber driver yesterday who was from. He was from England, and he was talking about, like, how they don't have Thanksgiving in England and how it's such a fucking great holiday. It was like, it's the best. I was like, yes. It's like low pressure. No gifts. Nothing about religion, like, not really about capitalism. I mean, the foundation of it is horrible and racist, like, nightmare. But the actual, like, gathering and eating together is nice. I mean, we don't, we don't celebrate the pilgrims and the, the, the indigenous people anymore coming together, but the rest of it is, is lovely.

Yeah, I agree. Thanksgiving and Passover, my favorite holidays.

Passover is good. I wish I. I wish I had a Passover situation in my life. Okay, so this person's question. I'm hosting Thanksgiving. It will be just seven of us. My stepdaughters are coming home one with her husband of two years and my husband's sister, who's old enough to be my mother. Mother. And her partner who is my mother's age. I've been with my husband for 18 years. I've made a lot of meals for those two women. Old lesbians who have never come all the way out of the closet. The partner, without fail, will comment after we've started eating. Quote, my mother was a wonderful cook. She will also bring up her post polio syndrome. I'm pulling this meal together in the Busiest time from my small gift shop. And I've also recently received some pretty devastating results for genetic risk of ftd. What Bruce Willis has. My patience is at level zero, but I am not the kind of person to pull a. My issue is worse than your issue. How do I get through this day with joy and gratitude when I basically want to tell everyone to off.

Wow.

Oh, Lord. Weed.

Yeah, I know, I know. That's a really tough one. That's a really tough one. Some days are just to be got gotten through and the only way to get through them is through them.

I think. Yes, I think you're right. And I also think you have like, one way you might just be like, is obviously this person is bitter and also doesn't understand social niceties. I could probably use a social skills class. And you know, I think that there's like a lot to be said for the Southern, like bless her heart, you know, like bless her heart, you know, try to focus on the people there that you really enjoy. And. And one thing I've been doing that is very dark recently is being like, how many more of these will I have?

Yeah, I know, Me too.

Like, how many more of these? I better appreciate it while I have it. You know, I watched some elderly family, like very elderly family members, not that elderly compared to how old we are. Elderly family members who are really in decline at this wedding over the weekend and who were there but not really there. And it really was like a wake up call for me in a lot of ways of being like, like, I got. I got to be present here. I think that's another reason I didn't. I didn't get drunk.

Yeah.

So, you know, try to enjoy the things you can. Try to try to find humor in it. Because this is funny that this person is being this stupid. It's funny. I can say that objectively. You know, it is.

If you make a little game with somebody else there, like how many minutes you do the over, under on how many minutes it's going to be until they bring up their post polio syndrome or whatever. Then it can be kind of funny.

Yes, yes, I agree. I agree, I agree, I agree. All right. I think that's it. Well, listen, happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Or we talked for over an hour.

I know, I know, I know. I got on. I didn't have it. I didn't even have a list.

Wow. Wow.

No.

Happy holidays to everyone. Happy Thanksgiving holiday.

Yeah. Happy holidays and thanks for listening to Everything is fine. We're your hosts. I'm Jen Romolini.

And I'm Kim France.

If you like the show, please rate and review it across the platforms. It really helps people find the show and it makes a difference in terms of our listenership. If you want to support the production of the show, you can join our [e-mail] everythingisfine. It's $3 a month. It's what helps us pay our editor. You can find Kim on her substack kim france.substack.com you can find me on generalmelini.substack.com you can Find both of us in our robust and private Facebook group. The show is also on Instagram at EIF Podcast and it is mixed and edited each week by the wonderful Natalie Rivera. Thank you as always, Always Natalie and we'll be back next week.

[Kim France]

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