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- [00:00]
Kim France
They say opposites attract. That's why the Sleep number Smart bed is the best bed for couples. You can each choose what's right for you whenever you like. You like a bed that feels firm, but they want soft. Sleep number does that. You want to sleep cooler while they like to feel warm. Sleep number does that too. Why choose a Sleep number smart bed so you can choose your ideal comfort on either side. And now it's the lowest price of the season. On the top selling i8 smart bed your best savings plus special financing limited time shop a sleep number store near you. See store or sleepnumber.com for details. Over the last 75 years, over 10,000 chemicals have been introduced to our food supply, yet the EU only allows 300 food additives. But at Thrive Market, we bring our members the highest quality brands and restrict more than 1,000 ingredients found at conventional grocery stores. Making the switch is easy with our Healthy Swaps scanner, which finds better versions of all your favorite pantry, snacking and home essentials without the added junk dyes and fillers. Plus, it's all delivered straight to your door. So if you're looking to shop at a grocery store that actually cares about your health, go to thrivemarket.com podcast and you'll get 30% off your first order and a free gift.
- [01:19]
Jen Romolini
It's official. Podcast advertising is transcending audio. Marketers can now tap into audiences across all of a creator's channels, from social media to video, live events and beyond. And Acast new report proves it works, with 84% of podcast listeners having taken action after seeing brands promoted in a podcast first Omnichannel campaign. Get these insights and more by downloading the Full report at podcastpulse2024acast.com hi, and welcome to Everything Is. I almost forgot for a second. It's gonna go great.
- [02:03]
Natalie Rivera
How do we even. Where are we?
- [02:08]
Jen Romolini
Who am I? Okay. Welcome to Everything is Fine, a podcast for women over 40. We are your hosts. I'm Kim France.
- [02:17]
Natalie Rivera
And I'm Jen Romolini.
- [02:19]
Jen Romolini
And we're both a little cranky today.
- [02:21]
Natalie Rivera
Oh my God, who am I? Is really gonna be the title of this episode. I am in like an existential crisis. I'm like, who am I? What am I doing? I don't know what to put on our patreon. Somebody was like, does that still exist? And I was like, yes. It's the sole way we pay our editor. And like, it's like, you haven't done anything in there on since August. I don't know what to do on my newsletter. I don't know who I am to people. I don't know what people want. I don't know. I just. Do you ever have this feeling of, like, what the fuck am I doing?
- [02:54]
Jen Romolini
I am nothing.
- [02:55]
Natalie Rivera
Where am I? Yeah, I'm nothing.
- [02:57]
Jen Romolini
I am nothing. I am a woman without any, like, personality or quirks or thoughts.
- [03:03]
Natalie Rivera
I mean, I know I have quite plenty of quirks, but, like. Like plenty of foibles. But, like, what am I supposed to be doing is really, like, the thing right now? I'm like. I'm acutely aware that I'm fully middle aged. Like, that is full. Like, I am. I am in the, like, obscurity of this weird, like, not young place, you know, And. But I don't know. I really. I don't know what I'm. I don't know what I'm doing. I have no. I'm in, like, a totally liminal place. I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea what my professional identity is. I just don't. I don't know. Like, I can't even make decisions. I'm like, should we have a Christmas party? I don't fucking know.
- [03:44]
Jen Romolini
Well, I would say my guess is that even though you're. Even though you know, I'm ruining one of the surprises, but you signed a lease on your new place.
- [03:55]
Natalie Rivera
I did.
- [03:55]
Jen Romolini
And that is very fucking stressful. So I think that the fact that you're gonna be moving and the fact that you're signing this lease. God damn mouse. I just saw another one.
- [04:05]
Natalie Rivera
Jesus Christ. Still with the mice?
- [04:08]
Jen Romolini
Still with the mice. It's been a whole fucking thing, and they're still.
- [04:11]
Natalie Rivera
Oh, my God. Natalie, leave this in, please. Wait, what? We need to talk about this. Yes, you're right. I am totally fucked up by this move. I'm emotional, emotionally dysregulated because of this move. I feel sad and all kinds of things and, like, scared and ever anxious. I'm very anxious. But let's go back to your problem. What is going on with the mice?
- [04:32]
Jen Romolini
They just. They are so unafraid of humans. They're just like, it's the middle of the day. Aren't they supposed to be kind of nocturnal? And I'm sitting here at the kitchen table and I just saw one go, whoops, right under the refrigerator.
- [04:48]
Natalie Rivera
You cannot have a thing scurrying around. You have an electric one.
- [04:51]
Jen Romolini
We have electric mousetraps, which, for a while worked. Well. We were catching more than you want to know. And now they're wise to the electric mouse traps. The exterminator is coming back to put like heavy duty poison, only in places the dog can't reach it. But you know that all of the first level and even second level things that you do have been done. There's just. And like the contractor came over and covered up all the holes, but there's still clearly a hole or two.
- [05:26]
Natalie Rivera
I mean, I think it's also because of all the construction around your house. Like, it's like unearthed. Like this is where these poor mice were. You know what you haven't tried is a goddamn cat.
- [05:40]
Jen Romolini
The thing about a cat is that I have a dog who I don't think would be very happy about another animal living in the house.
- [05:48]
Natalie Rivera
I know. We can't get a cat. We can't interspecies anymore. You know what you could do, though? You could just have somebody bring their cats over, like take Mr. Out and you could have cat. Somebody just bring their cats over for like an afternoon. Just so the smell of the cats is more. Is just the mice might just get spooked by the smell of the cats.
- [06:08]
Jen Romolini
Well, apparently what really works is just like litter with some shit in it. Like the smell of that keeps them away.
- [06:16]
Natalie Rivera
So maybe I'll borrow somebody's shit litter.
- [06:18]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, my landlord has cats. I'll just borrow some of her cat shit litter and let my house smell like cat shit.
- [06:24]
Natalie Rivera
Oh, God. As a person who lived in a cat shit house for more years than I really am, I should admit I don't recommend that. But maybe it would work.
- [06:36]
Jen Romolini
Maybe this is just. I mean, it's amazing what you allow yourself to get used to.
- [06:42]
Natalie Rivera
I know.
- [06:43]
Jen Romolini
You know, it's amazing what you allow yourself to get used to. And I love my home. I adore this. Maybe better than any other place I've ever lived in New York. But we have pests here. In the spring, we get ants. You know, we solve that problem. It's pretty easy.
- [07:01]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. You just have to know the right traps.
- [07:03]
Jen Romolini
My moth problem has been, like, epic. And these mice, it's just like it's an apartment with a lot of little creatures living in it with us.
- [07:13]
Natalie Rivera
I don't love that for you.
- [07:14]
Jen Romolini
Me neither.
- [07:14]
Natalie Rivera
I don't love that for you. No. I've been, like, dreaming about the new person I'm gonna be in this new house. Like, the things I'm never gonna tolerate again. All the organization systems I'm going to put into place. How we will not have clutter, how we will not be hoarders. Anymore, et cetera, et cetera. Cause, oh, I found a new therapist.
- [07:34]
Jen Romolini
Oh, congratulations.
- [07:36]
Natalie Rivera
Well, thank you. To an everything is fine listener who found one for me. Like, I.
- [07:42]
Jen Romolini
Please explain.
- [07:44]
Natalie Rivera
Somebody was like, somebody was listening to me. I don't know. Even when we talked about this. I guess we've been talking about the fact that I need therapy for a while, or maybe this person just, you know, diagnosed the problem. But she found like a collective in Highland park of therapists, which is near my house, and was like, I think you'd be good with these people. And like, I had an initial meeting with one of them and I really like her. And so I'm starting on Friday. But because I'm like, oh, we can't just like, spend money on everything all the fucking time. I'm like, I might need to cut back on the cleaning lady to afford therapy. Which means. Cause right now our cleaning lady is just like our cleaning person. Our cleaning person is just like, I have to come to that house every week or I will not come.
- [08:33]
Jen Romolini
Right. I get it. I get it.
- [08:35]
Natalie Rivera
She's like, I can't have you be built, especially when we have the cats. Like, I can't have this be building up. So that's expensive every week with a cleaning person. So I'm like, in order to keep up all my stupid savings goals, I can't. See, this is what I'm talking about. Is this even interesting? I don't fucking know. In order to keep up with savings goals and everything, I have to, like, I can't just, like, add another thousand dollars expense a month. So I am gonna have to figure. Gonna have to clean this new house, which means I'm going to have to keep this new house in order because half of the cleaning is just the chaos.
- [09:10]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. People like me and you need storage solutions.
- [09:14]
Natalie Rivera
That is what we need is storage solutions.
- [09:16]
Jen Romolini
Yep. It's what I don't have. I try, you know, and it. It's never enough. There's just always more shit. Always more shit.
- [09:25]
Natalie Rivera
Always, always more shit. And it's just like, well, where's this supposed to. Where's that supposed to go? What's that? What are you supposed to do with three backpacks? Like, are you supposed to get rid of them? I don't know. Like, my job sent me a backpack. I just have it sitting here. I don't need this fucking backpack. I'm never, ever. God love Yahoo for hiring me. God love them. And I love my job. I am never wearing a Yahoo backpack.
- [09:49]
Jen Romolini
Fair enough. I recently, because I've Accumulated a bunch of stuff. And I thought I really wanted just. I want to make sure I donate it somewhere decent, you know? And so I found an elementary school in my neighborhood not far from me, that has a free store that people in the community can use. So I'm going to drop it all off there. There's some good stuff, too. Some people are going to get lucky.
- [10:17]
Natalie Rivera
That's a great idea. No, I have a bunch of stuff, too. I have a bunch of stuff to donate. I'm really going to try to not, like, do what we have historically done. I mean, not granted, last time we moved was 10 years ago, but, like, it's just called the Junk Truck. And, like, be like, we'll pay you anything to take this away. And, like, who knows where it goes? Like, there's all of these organizations that are like, you can, you know, you. You type in everything you have, and then somebody comes and takes it for free, you know, and then there's recycling. And I'm really trying to be. Of course, this is why I'm anxious, because I'm in a zone that is not comfortable for me in any way, which is executive function.
- [10:55]
Jen Romolini
Yes. And when you're moving, you've gotta be on it all the time.
- [10:59]
Natalie Rivera
Gotta be on it all the time. And you can't even really conceive of it. Like, you can't. You're just like, how are all of these things transform into another? Like, how will they transport? How will it even happen? How. Like, it's non. I can't even imagine. I can't fathom the extent of what's about to happen in the next six weeks.
- [11:22]
Jen Romolini
It's a lot. And I always. I was talking to a friend of ours, Rahman, when I saw him in New York, and he was in the middle of a move.
- [11:29]
Natalie Rivera
Yes.
- [11:29]
Jen Romolini
And I was like, listen, the thing you have to accept is that it's just gonna suck. It's just gonna suck until it's over.
- [11:35]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, that's right.
- [11:36]
Jen Romolini
And I think it's true. It's just gonna be stressful and it's gonna be uncomfortable and it's gonna be irritating and all of those things.
- [11:45]
Natalie Rivera
How do you decide whether to take not. This is the big decision. How much of your old shit do you take with you? Do you take your, like, furniture? I'm like, oh, I always hated that dresser. I don't know what to do. But it's like, oh, it's a perfectly good dress, or I just don't like it. Like, do you just dump everything and start fresh Like, I don't. It's been a long time since I've done this.
- [12:09]
Jen Romolini
Well, I think some of it is, like. I mean, if you hate something and you can afford to replace it, then replace it. But I also think that you can't really tell how your stuff is gonna look in a new home until you're in the new home.
- [12:23]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, you're right. You're right. But then you have to move it out.
- [12:26]
Jen Romolini
Ugh. I know, I know, I know. I remember the last time I moved, I had. Speaking of giving things to the right place. Like, I called task. I did a task rabbit after I, like, gave. You know, I had certain things that were going to housing works and certain things that I was selling and whatever. And then there was a big old pile of shit that was just in between, you know, not nice enough to sell, maybe not nice enough to get a giveaway, but, you know, a thing, Right. And So I called TaskRabbit and this woman came and picked it up. Picked up, like, four IKEA bags full of stuff. And my brother was like, kim, she's just gonna sell it. And I was like, good on her.
- [13:09]
Natalie Rivera
Exactly. Great. I don't care. Like, I'm not. I'm not in it to make the. The $97 that I could make from some. Some bag of shit. I mean, I have a. I have, like, two bags of clothes that are good. Clothes like that are, you know, whatever. Rachel Antonoff, like, mistakes, you know?
- [13:27]
Jen Romolini
Yeah.
- [13:28]
Natalie Rivera
Just, like, things I like. I bought, like, a telfar bag that I've never even taken out of the package during the pandemic because they were having, like, that mystery bag. You can get a bag in six weeks. And so I bought it and it came and I was like, oh, I don't really like this bag. And then never did anything about it. And so I have, like, brand new that it should, you know, that I'll probably sell somewhere or give some, you know, whatever. Who knows? Who knows? It's just too much shit is always the George Carlin thing of, like, we get all this shit and then we move it to a new place, we bring all our shit there. Then we get more shit than we need, a bigger place for our shit. It's like an endless.
- [14:04]
Jen Romolini
I know. And I don't think everyone is like this. That's just what I want to say. I don't think everyone is like this.
- [14:11]
Natalie Rivera
You think that other people have less shit.
- [14:14]
Jen Romolini
Remember Hope, who we worked with at Lucky? Every time. Every time she bought it, she was a fashion editor. And every time she bought an article of clothing, she had a one in, one out policy.
- [14:27]
Natalie Rivera
What if you like the thing today? I'm wearing, like, this crazy 70s jumpsuit, denim jumpsuit that I haven't looked at in so long. And this morning I was like, oh, I'll wear that today. It's so comfortable. It's like a big denim sack with like a drawstring at the waist. It's incredible. If I had gotten rid of it, I would not be able to have the pleasure of it today.
- [14:46]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. You know, one of the rules that I 100% do not believe in is that if you have not worn it in a year, throw it out.
- [14:53]
Natalie Rivera
I don't either.
- [14:54]
Jen Romolini
Because you never know what's gonna come off the bench and, like, completely surprise you.
- [14:59]
Natalie Rivera
Well, yeah. Also, your body changes. You look different in something. Like, you know, you look different in something four years ago. And now like, four years later, you're like, oh, wait, I love the way this looks on me now. Like, I've. I've. I've reached the right age for this or whatever. You know what I'm in a crisis about, style wise, is my glasses. I'm not liking any of my glasses lately. I feel like I need a whole new glasses look. Oh. Because I think is shrinking.
- [15:27]
Jen Romolini
Okay, we'll take these things one at a time. I think it's very interesting that you should say that. You're very bored by your glasses and don't know which direction to go in. Because you're my glasses mentor. You're like my glasses idol. You always have good glasses going on. And I was in Warby Parker yesterday. Cause Paul had to pick out some frames and I was trying some on, and I was like, these are too Jen. I can't do this. Like, I'll just look like the biggest dork if I show up and I'm wearing Jen glasses.
- [16:00]
Natalie Rivera
Well, thank you. Thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that. I put a lot of thought into my glasses. I'm blind and I can't really wear contacts anymore, so I put a lot of thought into my glasses. I usually have a couple of pairs going at once, but I have a little bit hit a wall, and I need to figure out my new glasses look. And that kind of sets the tone. The thing is, I've been. I've just been feeling so radical because I'll. We'll talk about this in a second. Because my head is shrinking that I've been like. I've been like, maybe I don't want bangs anymore. Maybe I want like a Bob with no bangs, which would be crazy and I'd probably hate within three days.
- [16:35]
Jen Romolini
Do you know what we call? What? What? My stepson. You know what? I'm not going to tell this story.
- [16:40]
Natalie Rivera
Okay, all right. See, we're getting better at not telling stories.
- [16:43]
Jen Romolini
We're getting better.
- [16:44]
Natalie Rivera
No, it's. Well, because we both got a little bit in trouble last week.
- [16:50]
Jen Romolini
Talking about our husband.
- [16:52]
Natalie Rivera
We got a little. My husband never listens to the podcast. Like, he could care less. He was like, whatever. Like, I don't have time for that shit, you know? Like, he thinks it's a good podcast. When he hears it. He thinks it's funny. It's not like he finds it in any way, like, you know, substandard. But he doesn't listen to it. Doesn't go out of his way to listen to it. But last week I was uploading it and I wrote this on our Facebook page. I was uploading it and he overheard how I. We had had a big argument that morning. Okay. Like, I was like, don't have a fucking fight with me before we're recording if you want me.
- [17:26]
Jen Romolini
Genius.
- [17:28]
Natalie Rivera
Exactly. But he didn't like the way I. I characterized him. He had. He was making. He was making a joke about something, and I think, you know, it's sensitive. You can't just like, talk about gangs like, that's. We're white people. You can't just be like that. Like, that's just assholic. And he had, like, made a very ridiculous joke about this absolute non gang gang. And like, it's like a group of teenagers. Like, it's not violent at all. And like, he had been making a joke about it and I painted him out to be something he wasn't. And I'm very sorry to him. And here is my amends because I, you know, I love that pain in the ass man so much. And he is not like a gun toting, like, oh, there goes the neighborhood kind of person in any fucking way. He's the most, like, soft, liberal man you've ever met. But anyway, yes, I. He was like. He's like, I don't love that. And I was like, oh, shit, am I in trouble? But yeah, we really did slam them. And then the peeing. How's your peeing on your end?
- [18:31]
Jen Romolini
Well, Paul will occasionally listen to the podcast while he's driving. And so, yeah, I got a call. I got a call. I thought I was being better about the pee. I was like, honey, I just clean it up and don't tell you.
- [18:47]
Natalie Rivera
Oh, God.
- [18:48]
Jen Romolini
It's just not. It's just not worth it anymore. It's not worth the drama it's going to cause. It takes five seconds to clean it up. Whatever. I'm a victim.
- [18:56]
Natalie Rivera
I'm an enabler.
- [18:58]
Jen Romolini
I'm an enabler. That's right.
- [19:01]
Natalie Rivera
Okay, so back to the shrinking head. This is a true thing. Our skin, our skulls, like, literally do shrink. Not only that, you lose all the collagen in your face and all the. You know, everything starts to be. So you actually are losing, like, bone mass in your face.
- [19:15]
Jen Romolini
Okay, but how fast does that happen and when does that happen?
- [19:20]
Natalie Rivera
I don't know. Maybe it's been happening for the past five years. And the glasses I've been wearing looked good on the bigger head. And now. Now, now. Now I'm like, little head, big glasses.
- [19:41]
Jen Romolini
Oh, honey, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. I mean, I believe you that it's scientifically true. I don't doubt that. But if it was really a problem, people, like old people, would all have pinheads.
- [19:55]
Natalie Rivera
It's true. I don't think it's, like, that fast or that extreme, but I do think you're like this. The structure of your skeleton, even facially, begins to diminish as you age, which is so cruel.
- [20:09]
Jen Romolini
Another thing.
- [20:10]
Natalie Rivera
Another, another. Another thing.
- [20:12]
Jen Romolini
Oh, God. What happened to me the other day? And I was like this. Really, what was it? I can't remember, but it was another indignity.
- [20:20]
Natalie Rivera
Well, let me tell you something. I always have all of my packages always come to my house. I never have a problem with packages. We have a very easy drop them off. We have, like, a good front door for packages. Except I was worried about vaginal atrophy a couple months ago, and so I ordered these little, like, Kegel weights or something. I don't even really understand what it is. It was like in the middle of the night. I was like, I should get on that. And, like, I ordered these, like, these. Basically these, like, weights you put inside your vagina so that you don't have vaginal atrophy. It was like a total, like, anxiety purchase at, like, you know, who knows, 11:37 at night as the gummies kept kicking in. Right. Of course. That's what this fucking package got sent to my neighbor.
- [21:09]
Jen Romolini
Amazing. And they opened it accidentally?
- [21:11]
Natalie Rivera
No, I just have never. I'm just not going over there. I saw the picture of where it was delivered, and it was like. It's said what it was on the side now it's like. I forget what the name of it was, but it was, like, kind of obvious that it was not a normal store. It was like. It wasn't like sensuous vagina.
- [21:27]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, right. But it was something.
- [21:29]
Natalie Rivera
It was something. So I just. I was like. I just sent the company an email and I was like, this. This package did not come to me and, like, let them enjoy my vagina weights. I can't.
- [21:38]
Jen Romolini
That is hilarious because, you know, you.
- [21:42]
Natalie Rivera
See, they send you a picture of, like, the front door where it is, and I was like. I was like, not my front door. Not. Not mine at all.
- [21:48]
Jen Romolini
Oh, my. You're just never gonna go there. That's kind of hilarious.
- [21:53]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is funny when you. And I've accidentally opened, like, some. I accidentally open. Opened a neighbor's beard dye from Amazon, like, came to the wrong door, and I was like, oh, shit.
- [22:06]
Jen Romolini
Beard dyer. Beard dye. So funny.
- [22:10]
Natalie Rivera
Beard dye. Ben Affleck back on the beard dye.
- [22:13]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, Yeah. I don't know men. I. I know men dye their hair. I guess I'm okay with that. I guess I'm okay with that. Whatever.
- [22:22]
Natalie Rivera
Whatever. We do it. Oh, that's a question today. Oh, speaking of, we have listener questions, but we can also keep talking. I don't have anything else to talk about.
- [22:31]
Jen Romolini
Well, I did want to talk about the very good documentary I watched over the holiday.
- [22:36]
Natalie Rivera
Oh, yes.
- [22:37]
Jen Romolini
The yacht Rock. The documentary. I think it's called. Yacht Rock. A documentary. It's a documentary about yacht rock. And it was like, I don't think that there are many feel good documentaries in the world, but it was a real feel good documentary. It was like. And it was so gratifying to, you know, I mean, Steely Dan. Everybody knows Steely Dan's amazing, and, you know, they get all their props, but there are all these other acts and all these other musicians, you know, who made what was thought of as the time to be really cheesy pop music, but had all of these amazing, amazing musicians and amazing producers working on it. And it kind of validated all my crap taste in 70s soft rock. A certain kind of 70s soft rock. It was very validating. And then also the very charming and articulate. Alex Papademus was one of the talking heads. He was sort of the main Steely Dan talking head.
- [23:36]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, he was. Every time it was funny because I would hear somebody talking and I was like, oh, that's an interesting and smart point. And then it would. It would be like it was him. I was like, you know, you actually added a lot to this documentary, friend. Like, you did a great job. Yeah, it was a good. It was a good documentary and he was good in it. But I found it really interesting. Like, I didn't really understand session players. Like, I didn't really understand how, like, background musicians get gigs and I didn't know how many of them played on each other's. Like, I just didn't know. I didn't know how. How much they were, like, interchangeable to some degree. It also made me really love Michael McDonald. Yes. Quite a bit. Quite a bit.
- [24:22]
Jen Romolini
Well, he. Nobody was foxier.
- [24:24]
Natalie Rivera
I know. Well, Kenny Loggins, maybe.
- [24:27]
Jen Romolini
Kenny Loggins. But he.
- [24:29]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, Kenny Loggin became unfoxy.
- [24:31]
Jen Romolini
But yes, Paul was like, man, what a cheese fest that Kenny Loggins is.
- [24:37]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah.
- [24:38]
Jen Romolini
But you know who also came off really well? Christopher Cross.
- [24:41]
Natalie Rivera
Yes, Christopher Cross.
- [24:44]
Jen Romolini
He came off great.
- [24:45]
Natalie Rivera
Only one. One masterpiece. One masterpiece and never again.
- [24:50]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. And he doesn't even. Even though his song has sailing in the title, it's still not considered by anyone really to be the greatest yacht rock song.
- [24:59]
Natalie Rivera
I know. That's fucked up. No, I know. All this stuff about Steely Dam was really interesting. Like, it was really interesting. It was. It was. It was actually, like, I don't necessarily care about that topic as much as I think you do, as much as obviously Alex does, but I was like, oh, this is good. This is cool.
- [25:15]
Jen Romolini
No, it was. Maybe it was 20 minutes too long, but you know, what documentary isn't really.
- [25:22]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, yeah, it was funny because Charlotte's dad is in that, obviously. And then a kid they do improv with, his dad was also in it. So it was like. It was very extra exciting, like for the. For the. For the 14 year olds.
- [25:38]
Jen Romolini
Oh, that's funny.
- [25:39]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. Like, our dads are both in this thing, you know, and then they're then. Then passed. And then they were like, oh, actually our dads are lame. Because you have to be lame to a 14, 15 year old. Yeah, yeah, that's. That. I. I did watch that. I forgot that I watched that. You know what I'm watching? That is hilarious that I am just like, cry laughing over is Detroiters. Really?
- [26:03]
Jen Romolini
What's that?
- [26:03]
Natalie Rivera
Have you seen Detroiters Is like a sitcom. Let me look it up because actually, I'm not gonna remember anybody who's in it. It's the guy from I Think youk Should Leave. You know that guy? Yeah, it's him and the guy from Veep. It's on Netflix and it's about these. It's just really really funny. So it's Tim Robinson and Sam Richardson, and it's about these best friends who, like, are terrible admin, who make, like, local commercials. Who are the people who, like, make, like, come on down and get a free car. You know, whatever that is. It's so funny. Like, at first I was like, I don't care about this. This is like a boy. This is like a boy humor show. And now I've been watching it, and I've been really laughing very hard.
- [26:50]
Jen Romolini
Okay, good. I need a new show. I'm kind of in between. In between.
- [26:55]
Natalie Rivera
I know, I know. Well, everything's ending. The Bake off ended for me. You know, English teacher ended. Golden Bachelorette ended.
- [27:04]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. There's nothing that I'm not excited about right now. And I may give Bad Sisters another try. I may not have given it, but I just didn't. I was just like, this season doesn't need to exist.
- [27:16]
Natalie Rivera
Oh, my God. Guess who I saw in the bank this morning?
- [27:19]
Jen Romolini
Who?
- [27:19]
Natalie Rivera
Speaking of nothing, I saw in the bank. Oscar Isaacs. In the fucking bank. Really cute. Hot. Yes. Oscar Isaac. You know, he's so hot in person. I was like, what is that, man? What is that? I know. I sense. I smell that, man. He was just going to the ATM at Chase Bank.
- [27:39]
Jen Romolini
Funny.
- [27:40]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. Yeah.
- [27:42]
Jen Romolini
Just like us.
- [27:43]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. Yeah.
- [27:44]
Jen Romolini
I guess one time a. A million, million years ago, my friend Stephen and I were walking in Tribeca, and we turned a corner, and at the same moment, we were turning in one direction, John Kennedy Jr. Was turning in the other.
- [27:59]
Natalie Rivera
Oh, man.
- [28:00]
Jen Romolini
So we got just, like, a glimpse of him, and then we both just cracked up. We both just died laughing. There was nothing else to do.
- [28:08]
Natalie Rivera
I mean, people who have seen him and people who I know that saw him in person are people who, like, interviewed for George. I have a couple of friends who interviewed for George back in the day were like, he was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. Like, he was in person. Just like you couldn't. You couldn't believe how hot he was. And you could kind of tell, like, the broadness of the chest, the perfect amount of chest hair, the jaw, the nose, the hair. Just. You could tell he was hot, but seems dumb.
- [28:34]
Jen Romolini
No, from. There are no bad pictures of John Kennedy Jr. Not one. He looks amazing. No bad angles on him.
- [28:42]
Natalie Rivera
No. But I think he was a big baby. Like, from that Kennedy women book that I read. A big baby, annoying to be with and kind of like a thick head. Well.
- [28:52]
Jen Romolini
And he caused his own death, I think.
- [28:55]
Natalie Rivera
Yes, of course he did.
- [28:56]
Jen Romolini
And the death of two other people by not really being as good a pilot as he needed to be to be flying in the air that existed the night he died.
- [29:06]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, the daredevil. He was like a daredevil, you know, he thought he was a. I mean, I guess. Who knows when you grow up a Kennedy, who the fuck knows?
- [29:14]
Jen Romolini
Well, who the fuck knows? Because on the one hand, it's like, I'm a Kennedy. I'm so rich, I can get away with anything, watch everyone else has. And on the other hand, it's like, boy, we have some bad fucking luck. So you think you would take a very. If I were a Kennedy, I would be very careful all the time. I would. They die in skiing accidents, you know that. So many different ways.
- [29:38]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. They get shot a lot. Yeah. No, I don't know, man. RFK Jr. Who knows what's gonna happen there? Who knows what's gonna happen with any of this clown car. This is an insane amount of clown.
- [29:52]
Jen Romolini
I can't even. I can't even. I'm sorry, Jen. I just gotta put my head back in the sand. I can't even talk about it.
- [29:57]
Natalie Rivera
No, I'm not really paying attention to it. I'm not really paying attention to it because as someone said, this is the intermission of the Trump show and, like, you know, give us this nice. Let us have this break.
- [30:08]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, No, I agree.
- [30:10]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. Because the show is going to be on all the time soon.
- [30:13]
Jen Romolini
It's going to be on all the time soon.
- [30:15]
Natalie Rivera
Just.
- [30:15]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, yeah, I know.
- [30:17]
Natalie Rivera
People, like, everyone's like, he's going to tank the economy. And I'm kind of like, yeah, but these are all, like, money people. Are they really going to let him tank the economy? Like, that's really what I come down to.
- [30:28]
Jen Romolini
Well, the other thing, you know, it's a bummer that the world works this way, but. But the market did go up and has remained up since he was elected.
- [30:36]
Natalie Rivera
I mean, not if he puts 100% tariffs. I think he's bluffing. I think he wants something. I think he wants them to stop with this other currency. I have no idea about anything. I have no idea about anything.
- [30:47]
Jen Romolini
Me neither.
- [30:48]
Natalie Rivera
I have no idea. I'm like, brics, what the fuck's going on? Russia, you want your own current. Like, I don't know, like, they want to take down the dollar so that we lose all power. But Trump's not going to let that. Like, who the fuck knows? We just have to get. We just have to get through it. My kids school this has nothing to do with anything. Except this was also in the local paper this morning, which I now read they are banning cell phones. Really? Banning cell phones. You cannot have a cell phone all day. Not at lunch, not in between classes. You come in with your cell phone, you have to put it in some kind of like lockbox or something. And the kids are all freaking out. Cause they're like, what if it's an emergency? Like what would happen? Like, what if I have to call my mom? What if I broke my leg? And I'm like, we did all that shit. Exactly. You're just going back to the old days of, you know, you're just going back to the old days. But yeah, it's, it's crazy. LAUSD is banning cell phones.
- [31:42]
Jen Romolini
I think that's good.
- [31:44]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, I think it's good too. I think it's good too. I mean, I do feel a little freaked out. Like, what if, you know, what if, what if, what if, what if I needed to reach my kid? But you know, that's not. This is a relatively new development and I have to plan for if I need to reach my kid.
- [32:01]
Jen Romolini
Yep. Remember when we would just say to people, meet you on the corner of Broadway in Houston at 3? And you would just have to be there?
- [32:11]
Natalie Rivera
Oh yeah. I remember meeting a friend in Penn Station and being like, okay, I'm gonna be there. And we were both, we were different stairwells, you know, like we'd gotten the wrong stairwell. And it took us like 45 minutes to figure it out, you know. But you just did it. You just lived like that. That was just what life was. It was fine. Let's take a quick break from some ads. Support for Everything is fine comes from ritual. Did you know that in the winter time your skin tends to dry out? Of course you knew. That is a tough time retaining moisture. Even if you're keeping up a big multiple steps skincare routine, your skin gets drier, it looks a little crepier, a little more wrinkly. Well, with rituals Hiacera skin supplement, you can actually help fight that dryness. It's a clinically proven way to support skin hydration with science backed benefits like reducing wrinkles and improving skin smoothness. I love ritual. I've been using ritual for years now. I use their multivitamin, I use their melatonin, and I use hyacinth, which I find is a really easy thing to add to my routine. The they taste good, Hyacinth tastes good. It doesn't smell bad. It's aesthetically pleasing. Packaging. I I think that these are just stellar supplements. Haasera itself in a clinical study led to a 2.9 time increase in skin smoothness within 90 days as compared to a placebo. So you could enhance your skin care routine from the inside out with one capsule enhanced with soothing vanilla as well. So there's definitely some vanilla in there. It's also rigorously tested and validated by a third party for allergens, microbes and heavy metals. Ritual works with world class certification bodies to validate their products and they they have industry leading sustainability standards which I really love. So start hyacinthoday so to support your glow without compromising on clean science, Hya from Ritual is a clinically proven skin supplement you can actually trust. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time@ritual.com fine that's ritual.com fine for 25% off your first month.
- [34:29]
Kim France
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- [35:51]
Natalie Rivera
And we're back. Okay, I think we have a million listen and we should probably get into them. How do you feel?
- [36:00]
Jen Romolini
Yes, I think we should. Did you see the document I made for you?
- [36:04]
Natalie Rivera
I did see the document.
- [36:05]
Jen Romolini
Should we also talk about how I'm going to be coming to Los Angeles?
- [36:10]
Natalie Rivera
Yes, we should talk about how you're going to be coming to Los Angeles and how we are going to have a live show if we can pull it off sometime in the beginning of February.
- [36:22]
Jen Romolini
Yep.
- [36:23]
Natalie Rivera
So watch this space. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. I did see that document. I was very impressed with it. Okay. I would love to hear a conversation between the two of you about dyeing our gray hair versus not dyeing our gray hair. I am torn.
- [36:45]
Jen Romolini
Okay. I like dyeing my gray hair. I like dyeing my gray hair. I'm going to continue to. My hairdresser told me a while ago that my hair was about 50% gray. Probably by now it's about 60 or 70% gray. When it's 100% gray, I will revisit. But I don't think that growing out a messy salt and pepper gray thing with the kind of texture hair I have is going to be pleasing to me.
- [37:16]
Natalie Rivera
You know, I think we've had this conversation a lot. I want to say that I applaud and respect and even admire people who let their hair grow out. I think it's great for them. It's not for me. I've been dyeing my hair since I was 14, 15 years old. I don't even really know the real color of my hair. Although I did let my roost go a lot the other time, and I think I'm probably 50% gray, too. I am going to keep dying it until. Until I think it looks ridiculous. I think there's, like an age where it's like, oh, you should have gray hair. Your face looks like you should have gray hair. You should have gray hair. There's a moment that that happens, and I think that I'll know when that happens, and I'll be ready.
- [38:02]
Jen Romolini
Yes.
- [38:03]
Natalie Rivera
But for now, I like it. And the other thing is, like, I think that on me and not on everybody, but on me, gray hair would really age me. And it would also be a totally different color than I've been dyeing my hair all these years, which is like a warmer color.
- [38:19]
Jen Romolini
You know, during COVID I let my gray grow out. Not on purpose, but because I couldn't get to the hairdresser or not at least because I wanted to, but because I couldn't get to the hairdresser. And it didn't look great on me. But I know people who have gray and they look amazing. And I think it's. You know, I think it's great for everyone who wants to do it. Maybe one day I will. I just. I. I'm happy this way.
- [38:43]
Natalie Rivera
I am, too. I. I colored My own hair. During the pandemic, I dyed my own hair. I gave myself little highlights. Like I figured it out because I was like, this is the way I like my hair.
- [38:53]
Jen Romolini
Yeah.
- [38:55]
Natalie Rivera
But you know, to each his own. And like, I get that it's empowering to not, but like, I don't know, it's also just like self expression. Like, I think that one thing that does bother me is this, this idea that there's some sort of failure in continuing to dye your hair. Like there's like, oh, well, that's not natural. What the fuck is natural?
- [39:18]
Jen Romolini
It's also like, we all make our choices.
- [39:21]
Natalie Rivera
That's right. That's right.
- [39:23]
Jen Romolini
You know, that's right.
- [39:24]
Natalie Rivera
I just don't think it's some big statement about my comfort with aging that I like dyeing my hair. I don't, I don't think that or anybody who dyes their hair. I'm just like, if you, if you think it looks better on you, I'm always like, what looks better on you?
- [39:39]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, yeah.
- [39:40]
Natalie Rivera
My sister has gray hair and she looks great with it. Like it just, it suits her. She's had gray hair since her early 40s and it's just, you know, she is one of, she also has one of those like cool streaks in the front. You know, like some people just get that they get the cool gray hair.
- [39:54]
Jen Romolini
Yeah.
- [39:55]
Natalie Rivera
You know?
- [39:56]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. Not me.
- [39:57]
Natalie Rivera
Not me either. Okay, you go.
- [40:01]
Jen Romolini
I'm coming off the worst year of my life. Lost my dad to pancreatic cancer. Father in law has metastatic cancer. Family issues, you name it. Feeling more depletion and self loathing than I have in years, but still hopeful and desperate to get my groove back. Any good short and long term suggestions for this 52 year old galaxy?
- [40:26]
Natalie Rivera
Oh man, I'm first off. I'm sorry, that's a lot.
- [40:29]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. Pancreatic cancer is the ugliest.
- [40:32]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. Yes. And all the cancers and the family issues and everything. I mean, I, I think that you have to give yourself grace and not, not expect that you're gonna like bounce right back. You're not gonna feel like yourself. You're in, you're grieving, you're dealing with a lot. I think you have to lower your expectations for yourself and your own vibrancy. Like you just might, this might be like a tunnel period of life. I think that we go through those and we forget that that's just part of the whole deal.
- [41:06]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, no, I do think that's true. And I think giving yourself permission to not be at your best is an important thing to do. Because I think when you're at, when you're not at your best and you're loathing yourself for not being at your best, when there are so many circumstances making that happen, it doesn't help.
- [41:30]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, the pressure just exacerbates the shit feeling like putting the pressure on yourself and all the negative self talk and I should, and I, you know, just be how you're feeling and just walk through it like one step at a time. And eventually you probably won't feel like this anymore or you'll probably have like one good day and then you know, you can do like this, the self care things that whatever works for you. You can try a little meditation, you can try a little movement, you know, drink a little more water. Talk to friends. Don't isolate. I think that those things, those like univers, those things universally work in any kind of bum situation.
- [42:13]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. And, and, and when everything else fails, just, you know, you can always go to Miami for the weekend and sit in the sun.
- [42:20]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, that's true too. That's true too. That's true too. But yeah, stay, stay in touch with people. Listen to music. Like I feel like I always forget how much I like music and then all of a sudden I'll be like, oh, music. Like that helped.
- [42:34]
Jen Romolini
I'm the same way with it. I mean I listen to music pretty much every day, but when I get down I don't. And it's like, oh, but this is exactly when I need to.
- [42:43]
Natalie Rivera
Exactly, exactly. Or like small self care things like taking a bath. Like the other night, like I, I was so stressed out and I just like I took a bath and I, I did a bunch of like face shit. Like I just spent some time like relaxing with my face and, and I was in bed pretty early and I felt better. Like it helped.
- [43:04]
Jen Romolini
Good.
- [43:05]
Natalie Rivera
Small things. Okay, your turn. Okay. This one is really hard for me. I don't know. My face and neck are noticeably really hard.
- [43:17]
Jen Romolini
Like.
- [43:17]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, it's tough. My face and neck are noticeably different colors. Is there anything that can be done? My neck is much paler. I mean makeup, I don't know.
- [43:29]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, self tanner. That sounds like it could backfire.
- [43:33]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah.
- [43:33]
Jen Romolini
I mean all of our necks.
- [43:35]
Natalie Rivera
You know what?
- [43:35]
Jen Romolini
I think all of our necks are just a different color than our faces. I think it's okay. I think we should normalize it.
- [43:41]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. I think the neck is like the color of the back of your hand. I think those match or something. I think, I don't know. I think. Yeah, normalize it. Go the dermatologist. If you're really worried about it, maybe there's some. Something that's causing, like, a tone darker if there's redness. But, like. I don't know. I don't. I don't know. I also don't know what this next thing is.
- [44:04]
Jen Romolini
I do it. I'll it.
- [44:06]
Natalie Rivera
Okay. Your question. Yeah.
- [44:08]
Jen Romolini
My cousin is taking compounded semiglutide from one of those online pharmacies. I'm so tempted to throw caution to the wind and order some. Please advise. That's Ozempic, Mounjaro, all of those drugs.
- [44:21]
Natalie Rivera
Okay. Okay.
- [44:23]
Jen Romolini
And I can speak to this because I was on Ozempic briefly, and this is what I have to say about these drugs. If you love food, you will stop loving food. When you were on this one of these drugs, it takes all the excitement and all the fun out of food. And maybe you feel like you've had enough fun and excitement out of food for your whole life, and then maybe it's okay. But just know that. Know that, like, it, you. You'll go to a restaurant and this, you know, beautiful meal will be put at your place and you'll eat half of it, if even. And that is kind of a drag way to live. I have to say, that's just kind of a bummer way to live. It will most likely make you lose weight. It makes people lose weight. The weight does not stay off very well when you go back off of it.
- [45:11]
Natalie Rivera
Right, right.
- [45:12]
Jen Romolini
But it's, you know, it's been a miracle for some people. I think that it's, you know, it's effective at this job that it turns out it does in addition to its stated purpose. But for me, I mean, I had terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible nausea. The worst nausea of my life.
- [45:33]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, you were like. You, like, couldn't get out of bed. Some days I couldn't get out of bed.
- [45:37]
Jen Romolini
And it was just like, okay, this, this. There's just no universe in which this is worth it. So those are my things to say about this class of drug.
- [45:47]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, I don't know anything about this class of drug. I. I don't know. I mean, I've heard, you know, it works for some people and some people especially, who have, like, a compulsive relationship with food and have, like a, you know, like, almost like obsessive relationship with food. And I can fall into that where you can. You can't stop thinking about food and what you're going to eat and going back and, you know, it's Like Miranda with the cake that had to throw the cake in the trash and put detergent on it because she couldn't stop thinking about it. I've heard that those drugs take that away.
- [46:22]
Jen Romolini
Yep, yep. They take away the. Like that. It's. It's like the. The devil. It's like the angel and the devil. And the devil goes away.
- [46:30]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. And I guess in some ways, like, you know, that must be a relief. That must be a big. That must feel good to have that taken away. So, I mean, I don't know, like, talk to your doctor about it. I. We are not the right people to talk to about this. But that's the other thing I'll say.
- [46:49]
Jen Romolini
The last thing I'll say is that these online pharmacies really balloon. Ballooned isn't the word I'm looking for. Exploded. Mushroomed. That's the word I'm looking for. The online pharmacy is really mushroomed during COVID And I do think a ton of people are getting this med that way. And I don't think it's ever a great idea. I mean, the online pharmacies doctors do check in with you, but not regularly. And it's not like having your own doctor. And if you're going to take a drug that you know is going to alter your physicality the way this one can, I think it's just good to check in with your doctor.
- [47:30]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, yeah, I agree. I 100% agree. That's what I would say. Before you're going to throw caution to the wind, I would check in with your doctor because also, who knows if it's gonna counteract with something that you're taking over. Like, I just, I. I feel like they're really giving these drugs out like candy right now. And I feel like, you know, if it were me and my body, I just would want to really, like, talk it out with a physician or, you know, some sort of healthcare provider and just be like, what? You know, is this okay for me? Is this a good idea for me? And then have all the information and then make a decision.
- [48:08]
Jen Romolini
Yep.
- [48:08]
Natalie Rivera
Okay. Question for Kim. How do you approach the, quote, holiday season as a Jewish person? I just feel annoyed. All December.
- [48:19]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, it's annoying. I feel like it's, you know, the holiday season when I grew up in Houston, Texas, and a not very Jewish neighborhood, and Christmas was always just the loneliest day of the year. Just, just everything was closed and there was not even anything good on tv and just like, lots of football or whatever. And I felt, you know, I did feel like, you know, very much an outsider and very. And even today, like, the colors red and green together, I just can't stand.
- [48:58]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. Yeah.
- [48:59]
Jen Romolini
You know, there are things about, you know, Christmassy Ness.
- [49:02]
Natalie Rivera
That.
- [49:03]
Jen Romolini
That for years, I just hated. Now I feel like, you know, it's, you know, whatever. It's the holidays. I. I don't. I still think Christmas is a really lonely day of the year.
- [49:16]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. Yeah.
- [49:17]
Jen Romolini
But I think a lot of people do. Who observe it, you know?
- [49:21]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess. Yeah. I don't. I. I can't. I. I was raised Catholic. I did every Catholic thing you could do. I married Jesus when I was five. Like, I. I don't. You know, I had. I. I don't have any. All I have seen is, like, just Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, my whole life.
- [49:42]
Jen Romolini
And Christmas looks. You know, when I was a kid, it just looks so fun.
- [49:46]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah. You know, and they'd be like.
- [49:47]
Jen Romolini
They'd be like, here's your Hanukkah. You know, My parents were very generous. I got a present every night of Hanukkah. But it wasn't the same.
- [49:56]
Natalie Rivera
It's weird because in some ways you probably got more gifts than kids. Other kids, because Getting a gift every night of Hanukkah. But it's just. It's not the same. It's just the lore of the whole thing. The lore and Santa. My sister's kid is eight. And probably just this is the last year of Santa, you know? And it's such a weird thing that we just lie to kids. There's just this man that comes to your house and gives you toys. It's so weird. It's such a weird.
- [50:27]
Jen Romolini
It's.
- [50:28]
Natalie Rivera
It's just a. It's a totally strange thing. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what it's like to feel annoyed. I just feel happy. Although this year I'm having a hard time getting into the Christmas songs. I'm like, ugh, I don't want them this early. And I don't know if I want them at all. Like, I'm annoyed by them.
- [50:44]
Jen Romolini
There's only one Christmas song I like. Every other Christmas song is absolute shit. All I Want for Christmas is yous by Mariah Carey. I know. Not the most original statement, but that song makes me so happy. Every other Christmas song makes me want to just jump off the roof.
- [51:00]
Natalie Rivera
I like the Christmas Waltz. I like a couple of the. The whole Stevie Wonder Christmas album is. I, like, hold onto that one until, like, a couple of days before the holiday. Cause I don't want to burn it out, but that is a really lovely Christmas album also, Samantha. Yes, go ahead.
- [51:16]
Jen Romolini
And the Peanuts. The Peanuts Christmas album.
- [51:19]
Natalie Rivera
The Peanuts. Samantha Irby has an excellent Christmas playlist which is called Weird Christmas. I listen to it every year. I realized I was listening to it last night when I was putting lights on the tree. I realized that I know it so well that I know the next song, you know, like. Oh, I know exactly what's happening next. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. It is materialistic, which we should answer the materialism question, which is interesting. Which I don't know if we're. Either of us is the right person to answer, but.
- [51:51]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, I know we can answer it though.
- [51:53]
Natalie Rivera
Let's answer it. Where is it?
- [51:55]
Jen Romolini
Okay, here it is. How does one live a happy life of relative material simplicity and find a like minded community in this, In a country that is so materialistic?
- [52:07]
Natalie Rivera
I don't know, I like keep thinking I want to do like a. No buy anything. I mean, look, this is your entire. Like we can't, neither of us can really speak to this. I like, I work for a commerce site and you, you make a commerce site. It's like, it's, it's like we would not have livelihoods if the, if the world was not materialistic. I don't know how you find the community.
- [52:31]
Jen Romolini
The community is a very hard thing. Finding a community of like minded people is always the hardest thing.
- [52:37]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, yeah.
- [52:38]
Jen Romolini
You know, maybe in other countries, maybe you have to leave the country.
- [52:43]
Natalie Rivera
Maybe. I mean, you know, when I see it's so much excess, like even the holidays, like I have like three boxes of holiday decorations but I've been trying not to buy anymore. I'm like, this is it. This is what I have. And I'm trying not, I'm really trying to not be excessive to do like that kind of like gross Target run where you just like dump everything in there and you're like oh, $3. Sure. And it's. And I'm trying to not do that with clothes. I'm trying to be better with all of it. But I don't know, I mean we're in capitalism. Who the hell knows who, who knows how you divorce yourself from that? But I'm sure there's like all sorts of movements online. Like even what I was talking about with like, you know, giving stuff away, there's like no, no spend. I don't know what they're called. But I think that you can find people who are interested in the same Things. And I bet there's meetups for them.
- [53:37]
Jen Romolini
Honestly, the buy nothing sites, right? I think that's what they're called.
- [53:40]
Natalie Rivera
Exactly. The buy nothing sites. But also like when you're moving, like the note, the zero waste sites, you know, I don't know. I don't know.
- [53:50]
Jen Romolini
That's a hard one.
- [53:52]
Natalie Rivera
That's a hard one. I really don't have an answer to it. It's so, it's so unsatisfying. I'm sorry, listeners. Okay. Would love to know. Sorry about that. We don't know. Would love to know more about both of your journeys with adhd.
- [54:06]
Jen Romolini
Well, I should point out that I am still undiagnosed. I am still diagnosed only by me.
- [54:13]
Natalie Rivera
Okay.
- [54:14]
Jen Romolini
But I know that. I mean, it's very clear to me. I have looked at the symptom list. I have adhd. It's shocking to me that none of the many therapists I've seen over the years ever thought to diagnose me with it or get me diagnosed for it. Yeah, yeah, it's frustrating. Having ADHD is really frustrating. It's been a struggle for me. I'm highly avoidant of all sorts of things and that is something that I pay for all the time. I take take Vyvanse and Vyvanse has helped with it with some of the symptoms. But when, you know, there's a national shortage still going on. So on the days that I don't get it, I'm a mess.
- [54:59]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I have, I take Ritalin and I have one pill left. And I was like, okay, how many hours am I going to be working today? Should I have it for the podcast? Will it, you know, I have to. I'm always like having to, to think about when to take it. I thought that I was stupid for the majority of my life because I have a very hard time reading, focusing on reading. I have a very hard time absorbing and retaining what I've read. And I realize that now. I never knew that that was a symptom of ADHD. I have impulsivity, which I also a symptom of ADHD. I, you know, I wish that I had known 30 years ago. It would have made my life a lot easier. That said, you know, I also realize that the connections that I am able to make as a writer and as a friend and as everything would not be possible if I didn't have this weird brain. So I'm also like, grateful for it. I'm grateful for the neurodiversity. Like, I like I like my weird brain and I like my neurodiverse friends. So when I have to focus in, like I would not have written that last book if I had not had ADHD meds. There's no way. I used to self medicate with nicotine. Nicotine weirdly helps. Nicotine and caffeine kind of focus in similar ways. But I wouldn't have written the last book if I had not had Ritalin. So I treat it and I'm on a very low dose of Ritalin and I take it four to five days a week. And just knowing that this is something I have has helped me because I can go. Okay, I'm doing too many things right now. My brain is ping ponging too much. I need to slow everything down for like an hour so that I can recoup. Or like I drank too much on Thanksgiving because I was absolutely overwhelmed by the week of like executive functioning, like talking to landlords and filling this thing out and tracking down this document. And I had to work Black Friday and like I was so overwhelmed, but I didn't realize it. And so I drank too much on Thanksgiving. And then Friday I was like, what the fuck is wrong with me? And I was like, oh, I'm overwhelmed. So it helps to just know and so you can sort of regulate a little better.
- [57:30]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. It's also incredibly validating.
- [57:33]
Natalie Rivera
Yes, yes, yes. What time is it? It is. Okay, it's almost. So maybe two more.
- [57:40]
Jen Romolini
Two more?
- [57:41]
Natalie Rivera
I think the 40 year old one is good.
- [57:43]
Jen Romolini
Okay, I'll ask that one.
- [57:44]
Natalie Rivera
Okay.
- [57:45]
Jen Romolini
What would you tell to your just turned 40 year old selves?
- [57:50]
Natalie Rivera
I would tell myself, God, you're young.
- [57:52]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, no shit, that's a good one.
- [57:55]
Natalie Rivera
Didn't you feel old at 40? I can't believe it. Like 40 is nothing. You don't look really any different. There's nothing really different. 40, even to 30, it's just not that much different. 50 is a fucking change.
- [58:09]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. Yeah, I was. Well, my 40th birthday, the day of my 40th birthday was one of the worst days of my life. I was going through radiation.
- [58:20]
Natalie Rivera
Oh, that's right.
- [58:22]
Jen Romolini
I was nearing the end of my marriage, realizing that I wanted to end my marriage. And I was depressed. Very, very depressed.
- [58:32]
Natalie Rivera
Yeah.
- [58:32]
Jen Romolini
And so I would tell myself, like, it's actually gonna get better, but your entire 40s are gonna maybe suck a little. Oh, but that's not very helpful. But that's not very helpful. I would. Because not everybody had that. But. Oh, and then the other horrible thing that happened, like I Used to go to radiation first thing in the morning because somewhat. A friend of mine who had done radiation said, just do that because the machines break down, otherwise you'll be there for hours. And so I went first thing in the morning, and the machines were already down. So I waited for like an hour because I was like, I don't want to fucking come back here on my birthday. I'm not coming back here. But finally I waited an hour and then left. Cause I was just like, this is misery. So I had to go to radiation twice on my 40th birthday.
- [59:22]
Natalie Rivera
Oh, yuck.
- [59:24]
Jen Romolini
It was so yucky. But I mean, I would. I think you're right. I mean, just. You're really still fucking young. Nothing is over. Nothing is over.
- [59:33]
Natalie Rivera
When you're born, nothing's over. You could still have babies. You still like. I mean, it's. It's crazy how much is still in front of you. 50 is on the other side usually for most people. I mean, some people have babies that late, but 50 is on the other side. Not that you want to have babies, necessarily, but just having your fertility is just energetically a different. A different ball game than not. I think in.
- [60:00]
Jen Romolini
In the understatement of the episode.
- [60:07]
Natalie Rivera
No. Yeah. I mean, it's just a different thing.
- [60:09]
Jen Romolini
Yeah.
- [60:10]
Natalie Rivera
I can't believe how long. I can't believe how long it's been. I haven't had a period. And I just can't believe that I had a period for so long. Like, I'm in a different stage of life. Postmenopausal is a different stage of life, but 40 is not. And everybody around these under 40 lists and everything else. Yeah, 40 is not old at all.
- [60:27]
Jen Romolini
Nope. You're. It's nothing.
- [60:30]
Natalie Rivera
It's nothing. Okay. There's two beauty questions on here that I can answer pretty quickly.
- [60:35]
Jen Romolini
Okay, Go for it.
- [60:36]
Natalie Rivera
Okay. Why do I never hear about exfoliating anymore as an essential part of a beauty routine? The reason you don't hear about that is because they've rebranded it as, like, resurfacing or like, all the acid peels and everything else. So anytime you're getting any product that has any kind of acids in it, that is an exfoliator. And you. You do want to keep exfoliating your skin. There's a really good one. Paula's Choice makes a really good something called Exfoliate. And then there's another really good one, Dr. What's his name? You know. You know those ones?
- [61:10]
Jen Romolini
Dr. Brandt. Dr.
- [61:13]
Natalie Rivera
They're so expensive, but they're so good. I love them so, so much. I wish that I. I wish they weren't so expensive. They're the, the. They're the pads. But anyway, you can get any, you can get any kind of. You can get any kind of exfoliator that has some kind of, like, acid in it. And that is what you're doing. You're not. You just. The reason you're not hearing about it is because we're not roughing up our skin with, like, apricot kernels anymore, but it does the same thing. And you want to have cell turnover. And then the second question that's a beauty question is looking for a great under eye concealer. The one I was using suddenly seems to settle into creases that I didn't know I had. This one. You definitely want to get a. This is true for everybody. You want to get a concealer plus serum. There's a lot of good ones. I like one from Trini London. And there's also. I think Nyx makes a really good, very inexpensive one. Anything that you have that is a concealer plus serum is not gonna lay in the lines like that. And then you can also consider something from Jones Road, which you can use a pencil and a little bit of moisturizer. And that works really well.
- [62:26]
Jen Romolini
I do. I also think, like, because I'm so bad at applying under eye concealer, and someone was just like, just do it in the corners. Do it in the corners of your eyes. That's all you need to do. Otherwise you get a weird reverse raccoon thing.
- [62:39]
Natalie Rivera
That's right. It's really only the corner. And you can go up from, like, the hollow of your eye all the way into just the corner of the eye and then just, just blot that in. And that works really well. But yeah, when you drag it all the way down, that does that. That's usually a mess. You need less than you think.
- [62:56]
Jen Romolini
Yep.
- [62:57]
Natalie Rivera
Yep, that's it. We made an episode.
- [63:00]
Jen Romolini
We made an episode.
- [63:02]
Natalie Rivera
Another one. Thank you for listening to Everything is Fine. We're your hosts. I'm Jen Romolini.
- [63:07]
Jen Romolini
And I'm Kim France.
- [63:09]
Natalie Rivera
If you like this show, please rate and review it across the platforms. It really helps people find the show and it makes a difference. If you want to support the production of the show, join our patreon@patreon.com everythingisfine. It's $3 a month. I would also love any kind of guidance on what you guys would like to see there. While we're at it, if you want to find Kim, you can find Kim France substack.com you can find me at Jen Romalini substack.com you can find both both of us on Facebook with a robust and private Facebook group. The show is mixed and edited by Natalie Rivera. Thank you as always Natalie and we'll be back next week.
- [63:55]
Kim France
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- [64:40]
Natalie Rivera
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- [64:48]
Natalie Rivera
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Kim France
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Natalie Rivera
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Natalie Rivera
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Natalie Rivera
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