Episode Summary: "Everything’s Perfect… Except I Miss When Social Media Was Fun"

Podcast: Everything’s Perfect
Host: Autumn Calabrese and Donald Stamper
Episode: Everything’s Perfect… Except I Miss When Social Media Was Fun
Release Date: April 29, 2025

In this engaging episode of Everything’s Perfect, hosts Autumn Calabrese and Donald Stamper delve deep into the evolving landscape of social media. They nostalgically reminisce about the simpler days of earlier platforms, critically analyze the pressures of modern social media, and share personal anecdotes highlighting its impact on their lives. The conversation is enriched with candid insights, relatable experiences, and actionable advice for cultivating a healthier relationship with social media.

1. Nostalgia for Earlier Social Media

The episode opens with Autumn and Donald expressing a longing for the earlier, more enjoyable days of social media.

• Autumn: "I miss when social media used to be fun." [00:31]
• Donald: "Those are the good old days." [00:34]

They recount their first experiences with platforms like MySpace and Hot or Not, highlighting how social media once felt more like a playful, social experiment rather than the pervasive, high-pressure environment it is today.

• Donald: "In MySpace, you had your top eight. It was a constant popularity contest of your friends." [02:37]
• Autumn: "I had MySpace for three seconds, literally. I did not understand it." [02:58]

2. Evolution and Pressure of Modern Social Media

As social media evolved, so did the pressures associated with it. The hosts discuss how platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok transformed from simple social connectors to arenas of constant comparison and content curation.

• Donald: "Is so much pressure now for everything from what to post or if you need to be doing whatever you're seeing other people post." [00:39]
• Autumn: "Social media, I'm like, I can't keep up." [00:58]

They emphasize the unprecedented nature of today's social media landscape and its deep integration into societal norms and personal lives.

3. Personal Experiences with Social Media Platforms

MySpace and Facebook

Donald reminisces about the early days of MySpace, where ranking friends was a norm, leading to unnecessary emotional stress.

• Donald: "If you have a close friend who wasn't in your top eight, it's like putting. What's up with our friendship?" [04:37]

Autumn shares her transition from MySpace to Facebook, highlighting how it became a vital tool for staying connected with family, especially before the advent of smartphones.

• Autumn: "For me, it was like, oh, this is a cool way for my family to stay up to date." [05:23]

Twitter and Instagram

The hosts discuss the introduction of Twitter and Instagram, noting how each platform brought its own set of challenges and pressures to maintain an engaging presence.

• Donald: "When Twitter came along, it was like, okay, I have to post, but what do I post?" [08:26]
• Autumn: "Stories got a little bit like, oof, okay. But there weren't that many features. Your feed was still the main thing." [13:04]

TikTok and Beyond

Donald briefly touches on the challenges of adapting to newer platforms like TikTok, considering their different dynamics and the pressures they bring.

• Donald: "I'm trying to just go with the flow, but I still try to find me on TikTok. I dare you." [11:44]

4. Authenticity vs. Curation

A significant portion of the conversation centers on the struggle between being authentic on social media and the urge to curate one's online persona.

• Autumn: "It's just like, what do they want to hear me say to the camera all day? It's kind of become the Truman Show." [13:04]
• Donald: "I want to be someone who's just me. And people who connect with it can." [18:02]

They debate whether "curated authenticity" truly represents one's genuine self or if it merely masks insecurities and societal pressures.

• Autumn: "It gives the appearance of not being authentic because you in the middle of experiencing a difficult emotion, you took the phone to take the picture." [22:17]

5. Managing Negative Interactions and Mental Health

The hosts openly discuss the darker side of social media, including bullying, negative comments, and their effects on mental health.

• Donald: "Some really mean comments about music that I've shared... it makes me want to engage with them." [35:54]
• Autumn: "It's exhausting to just feel that way all the time." [36:58]

They highlight strategies they've employed to mitigate these negative interactions, such as setting boundaries, practicing "post and ghost," and focusing on positive engagements.

• Autumn: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything." [40:13]
• Donald: "Seeing it as a lesson every time I have that feeling taking a little pause and realizing it's okay that that person doesn't like what I'm doing." [40:33]

6. Impact on Personal Life and Family

Autumn shares a heartfelt story about her 16-year-old son, Dom, illustrating how social media can influence and sometimes disrupt personal lives.

• Autumn: "Dom was going down the rabbit hole of like, like, I have to read, I have to read, I have to pray." [43:04]
• Donald: "For Dom, it just got to the point where he... I can't imagine hearing that from these voices who on social media can seem like they know everything." [48:37]

This segment underscores the importance of monitoring and guiding young family members' social media usage to protect their mental and emotional well-being.

7. Advice and Conclusions

In wrapping up, Autumn and Donald offer practical advice for listeners aiming to foster a healthier relationship with social media:

• Autumn: "I have three checks for myself. I have to be comfortable with my son seeing it. My dad seeing it. Would I be okay if my CEO saw it?" [28:09]
• Donald: "If you want to be on social media, make sure that you are first separate from that. Loving yourself and your journey and your process." [40:33]

They encourage setting personal boundaries, prioritizing authenticity, and using social media as a tool for positive connection rather than comparison.

• Autumn: "I'm just gonna put up stuff, and hopefully you like it, and hopefully it benefits somebody." [41:38]
• Donald: "Make sure that you are first separate from that. Loving yourself and your journey and your process and then loving others too." [44:34]

Key Takeaways

1. Nostalgia vs. Reality: Earlier social media platforms felt more personal and less pressured, but today's platforms have introduced significant stressors related to content curation and comparison.
2. Authenticity Matters: Striving for authenticity over curation can lead to a more fulfilling and less stressful social media experience.
3. Set Boundaries: Implementing personal checks and boundaries helps manage the negative impacts of social media on mental health.
4. Positive Engagement: Focusing on constructive interactions and minimizing exposure to negativity can enhance the benefits of social media.
5. Impact on Youth: Vigilance and guidance are crucial in managing how young individuals interact with social media to prevent adverse effects.

Notable Quotes

• Autumn: "I miss when social media used to be fun." [00:31]
• Donald: "Is so much pressure now for everything from what to post." [00:39]
• Autumn: "Social media, I'm like, I can't keep up." [00:58]
• Donald: "If you have a close friend who wasn't in your top eight, it's like putting. What's up with our friendship?" [04:37]
• Autumn: "Stories got a little bit like, oof, okay. But there weren't that many features." [13:04]
• Autumn: "It gives the appearance of not being authentic because you in the middle of experiencing a difficult emotion, you took the phone to take the picture." [22:17]
• Autumn: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything." [40:13]
• Donald: "Make sure that you are first separate from that. Loving yourself and your journey and your process and then loving others too." [44:34]

Final Thoughts

Autumn and Donald poignantly illustrate the transformative journey of social media from a fun, exploratory space to a complex environment fraught with challenges. Their honest dialogue serves as both a reflection on personal experiences and a guide for listeners seeking to navigate the intricate world of social media with authenticity and self-compassion. By sharing their vulnerabilities and coping strategies, they provide valuable insights into maintaining mental wellness in the digital age.