
Donald is back from his first trip to Europe, and apparently he came home a changed man. From seeing the Colosseum lit up at night and cooking with a real Italian nonna on the Amalfi Coast to Monaco's no-shorts dress code and a flamenco show in...
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Host 1
Oh, beautiful.
Host 2
Spreading love everywhere we go. All of my everyday people, we're the proof.
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Host 2
all right.
Host 1
Hi, boo. Welcome back.
Host 2
Thank you. It's good to be back.
Host 1
We kept your seat warm for you.
Host 2
Everything's warm. Like, I was. I was like, oh, it's gonna be so nice to get out of the heat.
Host 1
Like the devil's level up in your neighborhood.
Host 2
It said 104 degrees in my car.
Host 1
I was like, jesus, it's only a matter of time. Welcome to la.
Host 2
I know.
Host 1
So I love that we're in unison.
Host 2
Perfect timing.
Host 1
Oh, here we are.
Host 2
It's like, I don't know what to call what just happened in my throat. Like a frog in the back. My U.V.L.A. said,
Host 1
oh, I miss you so much.
Host 2
I know. It is good to be back. When I notice, I just realign on my mind.
Host 1
How we have purposely waited to talk about his European trip.
Host 2
Yes.
Host 1
So that we weren't repeating this conversation. How was Europe?
Host 2
Honestly, it was amazing. So this was my first time going to Europe. And we started in Rome. We did a few days in Rome, then we took a seven day cruise.
Host 1
Okay, hold on. Favorite part of Rome.
Host 2
You know what I loved about it's hard to pick a favorite part because the whole thing Nell and I were talking about, it doesn't feel like we went to another place. It feels like we went to another universe. Like a different dimension.
Sponsor Announcer 2
It's so different.
Host 1
Europe is so different than the States.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
But how cool was it to stand in the Coliseum and be like, that
Host 2
is something that I. The Coliseum. I think was one of my favorite parts of Rome. I also love, like the, you know, cobblestone streets and all the buildings are connected in the old balconies and just the whole European vibe, the architecture, everything is beautiful. Yeah. And you'll be in like, everything's already old. But then you turn a corner and there's like an ancient.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
Building in front of you that's like thousands of years old. And it's just so different. I love that. I love, like in the States. I like, the last time I went to Philadelphia was. I was like, this is so old, like the Liberty Bell. And we're thinking, but our country is actually so young in comparison.
Host 1
Oh, yeah.
Host 2
And it's just that that was my favorite thing about Italy in general. And I think my favorite site that I saw in Rome was the Coliseum because it was just magical and at night it's lit up and it's just really cool.
Host 1
It was super cool to walk through there and to really go, I'm standing in the same place that the gladiators stood.
Host 2
Right.
Host 1
Or that like royalty sat. And then you're underneath and you're like, this is where they kept him and they kept the animals and stuff. And you're like, this is crazy.
Host 2
Or in the Vatican, there's statues that are so old they don't even know who did them. But they predate. Like, because I grew. We've talked about how religious I grew up.
Host 1
Super cool.
Host 2
A lot of these statues are older than Jesus. I'm like, this is wild that this, this what I'm looking at, existed when Jesus was born. That's just crazy to think about something is that old and.
Host 1
And made it that far and like, Right. I almost think about it too. Like when you look at all like, the architecture and the art and everything and you're just like, that's some next level talent shit. Because that was for real, like by hand. Like, they're figuring these things out. Like we have all these computers and things and da, da, da. And like, you look at what they were doing and you're like, when I was. We'll talk about when you got to Spain, but when you showed that, like, church, that was like the biggest one. I'm like, how. How did you know your geometry was right? That that shit wasn't going to collapse.
Host 2
Exactly. No, it's crazy. And the statues, it's really. How. Well, first of all, I was like, is this what people looked like back then? Because these talk about chiseled. These statues, these there are chiseled labor
Host 1
slave labor and like. Yeah.
Host 2
Or I guess the soldiers had. Because the fighting was with swords, not guns.
Chumba Casino Announcer
You know what I mean?
Host 1
Like a metal shield and a sword. This is not for the week, but
Host 2
the statues were so like the. You could see the veins in their arms. It was just really detailed. And I was like, this is remarkable.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
And also it was interesting because like, I think my. I didn't grow up Catholic and I've always thought Catholic churches were kind of cool looking, like kind of Gothic. And so you go to. You see these old Catholic churches, or even if they're not old, they're just so much like times a hundred. What?
Host 1
Yeah, they're so.
Host 2
What I see here, they're so grand that I was like, this is just wild. What empire the Catholic Church is.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
You know, and seeing and being. And going to the Vatican and seeing that, it was just really, really interesting. And the painting, all the, all of the art was just. It was so moving to be around.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
So I loved Rome. I want to go back to Rome because it's like a bigger city and I just want to experience more there and explore more. We had two days there, but we were jet lagged for the first one pretty bad. And then we got on the cruise and we saw most, mostly more parts of Italy. I think the most beautiful place I saw was the Amalfi coast.
Host 1
The Amalfi co. Amazing.
Host 2
I loved it.
Host 1
So Dom and I did three or four days and used Amalfi as like our home base. And like we did a day trip to Capri and then we were supposed to go do another day trip while we were there, but we were so tired from like bouncing around. But we loved it. We did like a cooking class, just me and Dom, like with. At a restaurant, but it was like a little family owned restaurant. It was like literally like cooking with the grandma, the nonna, who didn't speak English and then her grandson who was like maybe 10 years older than me. That was probably mine and Dom's favorite part in Amalfi. But Amalfi is beautiful. But also you don't realize it's like
Host 2
that big, so small.
Host 1
It's like when you get to Europe in general, you're. You're walking around, you're like, well, there's no target.
Host 2
Right?
Host 1
Like when you're in Amalfi, there's no grocery store. I mean, yes, there's, there are, there's
Host 2
markets in markets, but it's not the same.
Host 1
It's not the same. Like, yeah, you're not going to sephora Exactly. There's no mall.
Host 2
Right.
Host 1
They have such a different life, especially
Host 2
in the smaller parts, like Amalfi. I was blown away at how small it was. But also we did a boat tour and just to look at the buildings and the houses and, like, the old structures, and also just like the. I guess the mountain range or the land itself, it was really beautiful to see. I got some lem. I got something like a. It's sort of like the same consistency as balsamic glaze, but it's a lemon one from the Amalfi coast. And you can only get it at this place that they make it. So I'm excited to make some. It's good salad dressings. Different stuff with it. And then we. We went to Florence and Pisa. I guess Florence is in Pisa, someone told me. I don't know if that's true, because
Host 1
that's a little more northern to Florence.
Host 2
You haven't?
Host 1
No.
Host 2
I think it might be the coolest.
Host 1
It looked like that's my next when I take Dom. Next we're gonna do more northern Italy.
Host 2
It's really awesome.
Host 1
It's beautiful because I have not seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa yet.
Host 2
And that was cool to see. I was so surprised because, I mean, not. I thought it would be cool, but it also, like, when you turn the. And just see it there, leaning it. It's interesting because you take pictures of these things, and pictures just don't do any of it justice. And so it's like I take a couple photos and then I was like, okay, I want to be in the moment.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
And then I have a boyfriend who's like, will you take a picture of me? And I'll just do a video. I want to do this TikTok dance. It's like, Jesus Christ.
Host 1
Here's a tripod.
Host 2
Exactly.
Host 1
But 17 cousins with you. Exactly.
Host 2
No, it was really good. And then we went to another place in Italy. It's called Catania. It's part of Sicily. But that also was just. It felt like you were walking in some kind of ancient movie set. So that was the coolest thing about that. We didn't do a tour or anything there, but we went to Monaco.
Host 1
Amazing.
Host 2
That was so.
Host 1
Monaco is like, what?
Host 2
It's like. It was like, oh, this is. I feel like I'm in a movie of, like, 007. Exactly.
Shopify Spokesperson
Yeah.
Host 2
And it's just like, money. Like, every car driving by is a Rolls Royce and a Bentley, and. You know what I mean? The average person car there is like a G wagon or something. You know, Mercedes, it's like so much money.
Host 1
Somebody told me. I didn't realize this when I went there. Cause I went back in 2018, like, with a big retreat. Not a big retreat. It was like a. It was a retreat for entrepreneurs and stuff. Anyways, we were there for a week, and we, like. We saw all of Monaco, like, boat rides and you Just the amount of money that's there. One night we were out at dinner, and Tommy Hilviger and Kris Jenner were sitting next to us at a table. It was crazy. But somebody told me that you have to actually be invited to live in Monaco. You can't just say, I'm gonna go live in Monaco.
Host 2
Wow.
Host 1
I was like, what, are they checking bank statements?
Host 2
They must.
Host 1
They probably are. Excuse me. Let me go find me a man.
Host 2
Exactly. No, it is the. I'm sure it's the. If you're single and you want to find.
Host 1
You're ready to mingle.
Host 2
Exactly. That's the place to go. And also, so before we got off the ship, I had like, you know, some shorts on and whatever, and someone was like, because we're going to Monaco. Because the cruise wasn't ported in. Monaco is like Monaco surrounded by France. And so it was someplace. I don't remember where, because we immediately went to Monaco, but they said, we're going to go to the Monte Carlo Casino. And I don't know if they'll let you in with shorts. So I went and changed, and my outfit was looking really cute after I changed. And I was so glad because also, everybody there looked so nice.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
Like, was dressed.
Host 1
They're dressed to the nine.
Host 2
Exactly. I was like, this.
Sponsor Announcer 2
This.
Host 2
It feels different here, and I love it.
Host 1
Yeah. In Europe, you can't walk around. Like, you don't walk around in workout clothes. That's like your cutely athleisure. They get dressed.
Host 2
They do.
Host 1
They put themselves together every day.
Host 2
It feels so different. And I. I loved it.
Host 1
I love it.
Host 2
And I also love being in, Like, I love also being casual and being here. But it was a really nice change. And being in, like, I was feeling myself.
Shopify Spokesperson
You were.
Host 1
I was watching. I was like, okay, I see you, Mr. European.
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Host 2
Yeah, and so then we went to Marseille, I think is how you pronounce it. It looks like Marcellus. But someone corrected me. France. And that was cool. I got a French beret and just walked. We walked around some shops, was dying.
Host 1
When I saw you were like the one thing I wanted. I was like, is he kidding or not kidding? But I was like, he was dead serious about this.
Host 2
I love French berets. It's actually something I've wanted.
Host 1
Well, you got a little French stash going on right now.
Host 2
And I was like, if I buy one in France, that makes it that it comes with a cool story. It's better. No, no, no problem. If someone did, it's way cooler than being like, I got it on Amazon.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
So I went to and I sought out a like, proper hat local hat store. That was because I didn't want to, like, pop in a souvenir shop. Yeah, some whatever.
Host 1
So then you might as well get it on Amazon.
Host 2
Yeah. So it was really cool. And then we ended our trip in Barcelona. And that was really awesome.
Host 1
That looked amazing.
Host 2
We spent a few days there. Yeah. So artistic in a different. In a different way because some of it even newer modern art, like all through the city. And we were staying right on the edge of a Place called. An area called Alborn. And it feels like a little village with, like, small brick roads in between, like, what feels like castle halls. You know what I mean? It was just really cool. And then that goes into the Gothic Quarter. And I saw a flamenco show in Spain, and I was like, bitch, I want to change my life. I'm going to move here. I'm going to study flamenco dancing. I'm going to become a flamenco dancer. This is. It was. I was, like, totally taken in by this performance.
Host 1
And I'm sure it was amazing.
Host 2
Oh, my God. It was the. The. And you're not allowed. You weren't allowed to film most of it. And I'm really glad because that forced me to just experience it. And then there's a part of the end. They were like, okay, you can take photos now. And we filmed a little. But. But the first girl who came out and was dancing, like, I could feel every emotion that she was trying to express with her art. And it was literally to her fingertips, like, you could see every fiber of her being feeling this. And everyone on stage sort of join that and start to move and make the sounds and snaps and stomps and the guitar player. And I was like, this is remarkable. And I think I always kind of thought it wouldn't be for me, flamenco dancing. I was like, it's just a bunch of people stomping around on stage. I know it's more than that, but seeing it, I was like, this is amazing. The art and the technique.
Host 1
The technique, yes. Because, yeah, you're making music with your body, and you have. You have to have rhythm with it,
Host 2
and you have to move without looking spastic. Like, you have to hold your body in a certain way. And just seeing it, it was also a very intimate show. There were probably maybe 20 or to 30 people in the audience, and then just, I think, five or six performers. So we're surrounding the stage. And it was like. It was just so cool to see.
Host 1
I. Spain is not. Is somewhere I haven't been yet.
Host 2
Oh, my God.
Host 1
Every other place you've been, like, I've been to. You know, I've been to Italy. I've been to France. I've been to Monaco. I have not been to Spain yet. So that is also on the list. So when are we going back?
Host 2
Exactly. I'm ready. I'm. I'm ready. Tapas are one of the. My favorite ways to eat, too. Like, try a lot of different bites. And I also was surprised if anyone's never been to Europe and thinking of going every place we went, including Rome, which is the capital of Italy. Things are a lot cheaper than I expected. Like, at the. Any rest, we didn't look for cheap restaurants. We were looking for authentic restaurants. But you go into nice restaurants where, like, we're finding recommendations online. Homemade pasta, good ingredients, stuff like that. And it still was, like, far less expensive than I expected it to be. And I was like, the.
Shopify Spokesperson
The.
Host 2
The cost is getting here, but the. Like, if someone can save for a Disney trip, they can save for a Europe trip, for sure. It was really. It was really cool.
Host 1
That's awesome. Well, say less. I'm ready to go when you're ready, I'm saying.
Host 2
And I'm like, now that I've popped my cherry.
Host 1
Yeah, you're ready.
Host 2
Let's go. I want to see the world.
Host 1
Yeah, I know.
Host 2
It was just.
Host 1
Should we go for my birthday?
Host 2
Let's do it.
Host 1
We got two months save.
Host 2
Yeah, about. Yeah, a month and a half, maybe.
Host 1
No, today's What? We don't have to go.
Shopify Spokesperson
Exactly.
Host 1
On my birthday.
Host 2
Huh?
Host 1
Maybe I could use points for hotel rooms so we just get our flights, girl.
Host 2
Sounds amazing. Let. Let's do it.
Host 1
Y' all heard it here. Everything's perfect. To Europe. Everything's perfect in Europe.
Host 2
Oh, my God.
Host 1
Let's go.
Host 2
It was just. And the. The people felt different. And honestly, I was like, totally kidding.
Host 1
Where do you think the people were nicer in Italy or in France?
Host 2
Well, I didn't talk to that many people in France, but I. My. Based on my limited experience, I would say Italy.
Host 1
Really?
Host 2
I. I had really good interactions with people. But Spain, what people were. In Barcelona, people were very friendly.
Host 1
They were some bitches. I actually like it. No, like, I'm being funny, but also, I think because they expected me to be able to speak the language because of my last name, because I like Calabrese. And I'm in southern Italy. Like, that's where we were. So we're by Calabria. They're. So I walk in, Ms. Calabrese, and they'd start going. And I'm like, slow down. Slow down.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
I was like, I got nothing.
Grainger Announcer
Ciao.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
And I would be like, I'm so sorry, English. And you could just see they would be, like, stupid American. Like, instantly. It was so mean. And I was like, well, okay. They were nicer in France because they just didn't expect me to speak the language. But in Italy, they were kind of like, how are you gonna come in with the last name Calabrese? And not be able to speak it. I'm like. Because my grandma didn't teach it to me.
Host 2
What do you want me to tell you exactly? Well, you know, what might have worked for me is I was with a group of Spanish speaking people. And actually, Spanish and Italian is very similar.
Host 1
Like, well, they're the romance languages.
Host 2
So, yeah, like, you know, thank you is gracias in Spanish and grazia mile. Yeah, thank you very much in. In Italian. And I did say that a lot. I was like, I feel an idiot, but I gotta try. I gotta give him something.
Host 1
Listen, when I. When I went to France, I was. Same thing. Like, I would try to be like, bonjour. And I was like, this sounds terrible, but you gotta try.
Host 2
Literally, I'm like, I watched enough Emily and Emily. Meli. It's kind of like in the back of my throat. Exactly. Like, the first time I heard that.
Host 1
Oh, I missed you. So, anyway, so, okay, so Europe. Amazing.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
I mean, you were gone for two weeks. It felt like two months.
Host 2
It was definitely the longest vacation I've ever taken.
Host 1
I was like, are you coming home?
Host 2
I was like, I'm gonna need to get a job application in one of these places. We don't get home soon. I've heard you make a living wage.
Host 1
Start singing.
Host 2
Yes, I did think about that, but other people's put their hats down. Why not take my French beret, flip it upside down, make it make a euro or two.
Host 1
Why not? You should have tried. That would have been funny. Just to, like, try and see if anybody would have.
Host 2
You know, what I wanted was also interested because tipping's not as much of a thing there. Well, we almost went to a drag show. We didn't. I wonder if they tip in drag shows there or.
Host 1
And I was like, I don't think so.
Host 2
Also, the singles are coins.
Host 1
Well, actually, a drag show in Paris. Where?
Host 2
No, it was in Spain.
Host 1
If we've learned anything from Emily in Paris, he said, tip your muse when they were at the gay strip club. Oh, so maybe you do.
Host 2
Well, I guess they get good tips too, then. Because I think less than 5 is not paper. You just chuck coins at people. You have welts. The poor, the strippers just come home. A good night. Big Monday night.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
Oh, my God, that's funny. Yeah, it was so fun, but it's good to be back.
Host 1
Okay, so you're home for a day. You were home for a day and a half. Literally not even a day and a half.
Host 2
Yeah, one day. A day.
Host 1
And then he came here huh. And here we are.
Host 2
Here we are.
Host 1
Should we look at any phone of friends? I'm sure we have a ton. I didn't do a phone a friend with Katrina or Natalie just because we were doing all thing girl.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
Reminiscing all the things.
Host 2
Okay, here's one. It says, the subject line says, I want my husband to live and our sex life to get hotter.
Host 1
So, okay, so she's not gonna kill him.
Host 2
Exactly. I'm like, what's happening?
Host 1
Where are we going with this?
Host 2
All right, here's the dilemma. I'm 48, a corporate executive, mom of two, and probably the fittest and most confident I've ever been. Yes. Work. My husband is my high school sweetheart. We've been together for 30 years, and I still love him with my whole heart. I take my health seriously because I suffer from migraines and have seen firsthand how much lifestyle matters. Space. He doesn't. Space.
Host 1
Okay.
Host 2
He's 6 3, close to 300 pounds, wears a 3X, and has gradually stopped taking care of himself after his dad died of cancer. He made some healthy changes, but over the last few years, he's reached his highest weight. I've told him I'm not worried about appearances. I want him alive. Retirement is less than 10 years away, and I want us hiking, traveling, and saying yes to adventures together. Instead, I see him quietly opting out of things. He jokes about his size, but I know it's why he skips horseback riding, hiking, zip lining, and other activities when we're on vacation. The kids notice. I notice. I also know.
Host 1
Sorry, just over here. Choking for the usual. We missed it.
Host 2
I also know I can't make someone change who doesn't want to. Now for the fun part. Our sex life is actually good. He still knows exactly how to push my buttons, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't wonder how much better it could be if he were healthier and stronger. We're limited in some positions simply because of his size, and after reading a few spicy romance books lately, I. Side note. I am obsessed with this woman.
Host 1
I was like, she's just living life, man. I'm here for it.
Host 2
Let's just say I'd like us to be a little more adventurous. So my question is, how do you motivate someone you love to care about their health when fear, logic, and heartfelt conversations haven't worked? Is there a way to frame this that inspires change without nagging? And is it terrible that part of my motivation is wanting him around for retirement and Wanting sex to be really, really good. Thank you for everything. You both do. I hope this makes it onto the show. Well, it did, girl.
Grainger Announcer
Yeah.
Host 2
So let's talk about it.
Host 1
I mean. Well, first of all, no, I don't think that's terrible at all. Like, she loves her husband. She wants him around after 30 years. That's amazing. They already have a good sex life. She just wants things to go.
Host 2
She just wonders, like, how much better it could be.
Host 1
Yeah, I don't think that's there's anything wrong with that at all. So I think she's coming. I don't think she's coming from a bad place at all. I think she's coming from a very loving place about it.
Host 2
It sounds to me like just the part of it is she loves the adventure of. I have this theory sometimes that when women approach, like, menopause age, they have this awakening again. And like, for. Because for a lot of women around that time might be when their kids are leaving the house. When they're at another place in their profession, their focus can shift back on what they love and what they want out of life versus just doing for their.
Host 1
And they, yeah, we're ready to go.
Host 2
They want their partner to go along with them. And sometimes it seems like. And maybe I'm jaded. And this is just off my observation, at times, men start to slow down at that time of life, and it's like, come on, I want to go do things. I want to go out. And, you know, and, and, and men become a little bit more complacent. So I wonder if that's what's happening.
Host 1
Yeah. So, I mean, I have, have, like, I have some questions which we're not going to get answered. But, like, my first question would be, is there something going on with him emotionally one way or another that is maybe leading to the weight gain or leading to the, like, lack of trying or caring. Because I'm not saying always, but a lot of times there's an emotional. Has he processed his dad dying of cancer? Has there been an issue with a job? Like, just what's going on? Because there's one thing to, like, gain a little weight, right? Like, that happens to people. No big deal. And there's another thing to get to a size where it's 3x and you're being limited in what you can do in your life. That's like a different level.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
So. And then why doesn't he care? Like, right. Why isn't he more like, I want to be around for you, I want to be around for the kids and the grandkids. So like, is there some things that need to be talked about? Does he maybe need to go talk to somebody else? And I'm not always the one who's like, go do therapy. Because obviously we know how I feel about that. Like, therapy only works if somebody's gonna be honest.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
And really like, try to get to the root cause.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
So but is like, is there an emotional thing going on with him that maybe he's not talking about that is leading to that also?
Host 2
I think it could sometimes people feel, you know, like someone who is a 3x I, I, I'm having a hard time picturing what, what he looks like because she said his height and weight and so he sounds like a big guy.
Shopify Spokesperson
Yeah.
Host 1
It could look very different just depending, like, because you could have somebody who's six three, almost 300 pounds, like the Rock, like, and then you could have somebody who's six three who doesn't work out, who would be very different.
Host 2
Yeah. But you that, so someone who's bigger might be insecure and not feel comfortable voicing their insecurities. About her example, she gave horseback riding, zip lining, or even hiking, not wanting to be the person that holds people back. And so I think that, I wonder if she could say it's important to me that we do activities and maybe there's like some, for lack of a better term, bridge activities. Like not quite that.
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Host 2
a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Active. Like, I thought she was about to say bungee jumping, skydiving. I was like, she. She wants to do the most.
Host 1
She should give you a call.
Host 2
Yeah, right. I just want to feel something. Just kidding. But. So I wonder, like, if it could be, you know, let's. Let's say they have dinner and he wants to immediately sit down, which, go watch tv. Sometimes I'm like that, honestly. And Nell will say, let's take a walk. And if he said that right now, I'd be like, not in this heat, motherfucker. On a normal night, I. It. It's good to remember. And sometimes your partner needs to be reminded very plainly, like, lay it out. It's important to me that we do that together. So let's just take a walk, and then we, like, watch something or, like, find the compromise, but don't hint at it. And when. If he. If your partner doesn't take the bait, take that as rejection. I think that you should very plainly say, it's important to me to have someone who will take walks with me after dinner, and I want you to be that person. So can we go?
Host 1
So put your shoes on.
Host 2
So put your shoes on, or I'll go find someone else who will take walks with me. So that's what I would say. One thing is. I don't know, but if. If you've hinted because it is uncomfortable when you. Your partner.
Host 1
It sounds like she's had conversations with him, though, because she said, what do you do?
Grainger Announcer
If.
Host 1
Logic, fear. She said something else hasn't worked. So it sounds like maybe they have had conversations. So it sounds like they've had conversations where maybe she has not beat around the bush about it. And he's not picking up what. He's not responding to it one way or another. So I would. Like. I was. I would try to figure out, is there an emotional thing, whether you can support him in that or somebody else needs to. The other thing I would say is, like, look, just maybe make it a little bit harder for him to have access to the food. I'm not saying treat him like a child, but, like, don't bring the junk food into the house if you're the one that does the grocery shopping. And if he's like, why didn't you get the da, da da? Or why didn't you get the da da? Be like, I'm not buying that, babe. If you want it, you're gonna have to go get it, because I'm not gonna support you harming yourself essentially. Like, you're getting to an unhealthy place, and I want you around, make healthy dinners. I was going to make a real inappropriate joke. You know, the next time he wants to eat, just sit on his face.
Host 2
That's right. Eat this, babe. Nom, nom, nom, nom. You're welcome. Desserts on the other side. No, you. You asked me, like, if Nell got.
Host 1
Yeah. What. So, yeah. What would you do if you're.
Host 2
He put on a bunch of weight and.
Host 1
Yeah, we're not talking about, like, oh, he gained 10.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
If. If it got to the point where it was like.
Host 2
Like, let's say he gained 80 to 100.
Host 1
Yeah. Something where it, like, changed your guys's lifestyle, changed your sex life.
Host 2
It's so hard to imagine that. But. But you know what's interesting is I think what would affect me more than, like, the way he looked or that is he would be living a different life.
Host 1
Yeah. He wouldn't be the guy. You know.
Host 2
Exactly.
Host 1
He wouldn't be that. Because, like. Because, like you said, like, then. Then you're the person that you're living a very. I want to stay home. I don't want to do anything. I just want to. But, like, it. You're not on the same trajectory or the same train tracks. Like, one's over here, one's over. Like, this train's parked and this one's chugging along. So. Yeah. Like, you still love the person, but you're not living the same type of life.
Host 2
Yeah. And if they once lived that. It's interesting. We were actually talking about 30 years.
Host 1
Like, huh. Now, again, you know where I stand on things like this. Like, I'm not saying walk away right away. Obviously, try and try and try. But also, like, well, I want to
Host 2
be someone who is physically active my entire life. My grandfather, my last living grandparent right now because I recently. My other. My dad's dad passed away, and so my mom's dad just left his house that he's lived in. My mom was born in that house, and she's 60. So he's been in the house for almost 70 years. He's in his 90s. And he said, I'm not leaving this house until I think he said, toes up, like, he's gonna die in the house. Well, he reached a place where he was like, I know I can't stay in this house. And he just recently went to an assisted living facility, which I actually think is great. But I also think it might be a little too late because he's having a lot of Health issues. And I think the reason he's one of. Other than the fact he's in his 90s and whatever, we could all be so lucky. But when my grandmother got sick, he stopped moving his body. And he would have been, like, early 80s, probably at that point, or around, like, 83.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
And but up till then, he still went to the Y like, three times a week and swam laps.
Shopify Spokesperson
Wow.
Host 2
He lifted weights. Weights, movement and working out was something that my grandpa did and he was proud of doing.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
And then he stopped, and I think he was. It was probably half to take care of her. And then also just sadness sort of sometimes knocks you on your ass. It's hard to get back up. Well, he never got back into it. And he says things like, you know, I've done enough working out in my life.
Host 1
Well, it's not money in the bank.
Host 2
I don't think that the way the end of his life that he's facing would be the same if he was like, I'm still gonna walk.
Host 1
Yeah, yeah.
Host 2
As long as I can. And so all of that's to say it really has me thinking about. I want to be someone who, as long as I'm physically able, has intentional movement as a part of my life, a part of my daily life. As long as I can walk and take steps, I'm going to. As long as I can move my body. You know, I love him so. But he can't put his own socks on. And I want to, like, the first day that all. I can't put my own socks on. I want to have some. I want someone to show me exercise where I can do that again. And I know we're all going to age and there's where none of us make it out alive, of course. So that's to say, if my partner all of a sudden was not on that page, I don't know how I would handle that, because that's not how I'm going out.
Sponsor Announcer 2
Right.
Host 1
So, yeah. Otherwise you have to start living separate sort of lives of like, okay, well, you're not going to.
Host 2
But I feel like a partnership.
Host 1
Yeah. So then now we're. We're roommates. And so cool. If you want a roommate. But, like, yeah, you want somebody. If you're the person who loves to go out to dinner, you want the person who wants to go out to dinner with you. If you're somebody who loves to go wine tasting, then you want to have the partner that's going to go wine tasting. If you're somebody that loves to skydive don't call me.
Host 2
Right.
Host 1
But like, yeah, if you're the person that wants to be active or, or travel or whatever or all those things. We've talked about this when it comes to sex, like when one partner's like super into it and the other one's not, I don't think you're compatible. That's just me. Like you do you. If you decide that you're willing to like, give up that aspect of yourself, then that's your choice. If she's willing to give up having her partner do those activities and listen, you know, when you love somebody, somebody might do that. They might just say like, okay, like I'm just gonna accept, accept that he's not gonna change. But I think before you accept that, you try to figure out what's going on that is leading to him sort of getting to this. Like, I don't care. Because that's again, we're not talking about somebody who's just got a little extra like love and weight on them and it's not a big deal. You're talking about health risks. So why doesn't he care? Yeah, like that, that is that there is a reason there, I would think.
Host 2
Yeah. I think continued communication and just like being true to yourself first. And that is you. You like to do those things and so look for compromise. And sure, maybe you find a girlfriend that is your horse backing, back riding buddy, but don't like your partner. There are things. Sometimes Nell wants to do something and I'll. And by the way, Nell and I haven't been together for 30 years. I know, I can't understand that. I'm only 23, but same. You know, we're so young. There's still so much to learn, babies. But I'll say to Nell, like, for example, sometimes Nell wants to go to the movies and I just don't want to go to the movies. I'd rather stay. If we're gonna movie, I wanna stay home. And a couple times he's gone by himself. But I say to him, is it important to you that I go? Like, are you wanna have a date, date night, movie night situation? Because I'll rally go put on some clothes, whatever, we'll go. But if you don't care and you're just as happy doing your own thing, then I'm going to do my own thing. And that's. I feel like that's a really good. I hope that our relationship stays that way. Because if he says, well, I was kind of hoping we go together, say less yeah, I'll go. Because if it makes you happy, then that makes me happy.
Host 1
I love that you guys, that you have that like sort of interaction where you'll ask him, yeah, is this important to you?
Host 2
And he'll say, not really, I want to go see it. But if you want to stay here, you can stay here. And I'm like, great.
Host 1
Also, I love that it's not us. Like, say what you mean, right? Because in so many relationships, maybe in more hetero, like, and I think women have a tendency to do this a little bit more where we're like, no, I definitely want to see that movie. And you're like, you don't fucking care. You don't want to see the movie, but you sort of water it down because you don't want the guy to think you're not fun or whatever.
Host 2
Exactly.
Host 1
So. So I love that when he says, I don't really care if you come, I want to go see it. That he means that.
Host 2
Right.
Host 1
And he's not going to hold it against you later.
Host 2
Totally.
Host 1
And that if he wants you to come, he'll say that too.
Host 2
Yes.
Host 1
And then you don't hold that against him of like, oh, fucking, I got to go to this movie now and I don't want to. You're like, okay, no, that makes my partner happy. I want to go. I think that that's super healthy.
Host 2
Or like if there's something I want to do on the weekend, I'll say, I want to do this this weekend. So let's figure out when it works for you because I want us to go to like, let's say I want to go out to dinner at a specific restaurant. And maybe he doesn't really care.
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Host 1
2 in the morning.
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Host 2
When Nell is so, like, locked in or vacation mode.
Host 1
Yes.
Host 2
He doesn't have a lot of like in between. And I'm more like. Like, I'm not a heavy drinker or anything, but I might have. If we go out to dinner, I might get a drink or a glass of wine. Renell's like, no, I'm not drinking for six weeks because then I'm gonna drink all the drinks for two weeks after that. Like, that's how he thinks.
Host 1
Yes.
Host 2
But I'll say to him, like, I really want to do this and I want us to do it together. So it's just so nice to very clearly say it and find a way that works. And it's obviously, I mean, obviously some days you're in a bad mood. And by you're in a bad mood, I mean I don't know why. Sometimes I'm cunty. It just happens. But you know, it is what it is.
Host 1
Catch me on the wrong day.
Host 2
Yeah, I think communicate and say what you mean. And if. Ladies, I keep thinking of the Anne Hathaway video you sent. And I love the way she verbalized. It was about something else, but she verbalized things orbiting around another. And sometimes in heterosexual relationships, it feels like the. From me on the outside looking in because, girl, you know, I'm not a part of that nonsense. But it feels like women's desires are sort of orbiting around the man versus meeting in the middle.
Host 1
Yeah, A lot of times that's what we're sort of. You have to bend there. Like they. Oh, God. Because we're so worried about being left or not having somebody or whatever. So you, you, you bend and you fold and you shrink and you. And you reshape to what they want. And does it fit? And is it enough? And is it enough? And by the way, if you have to do all that. I'm just talking to myself at this point. Get the Fuck out. Yeah, run.
Shopify Spokesperson
Because.
Host 1
Yeah, because. No, like. And you could love the person till you're blue in the face, but you matter as much as they do. Like, your desires matter as much as their desires matter. And I'm not saying that, like, they have to bend your will every time, but that's where compromise comes in.
Host 2
Right?
Host 1
So it could be like you said, maybe he's not going horseback riding. Because, by the way, if I have a partner that wants to go horseback riding, I might try that, like, once or twice. But, like, I don't want to be in a. Like, I've. I have been horseback riding.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
It's not my favorite. Scares the crap out of me.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
So maybe I'm like, I'll go with you every once in a blue moon, but I'm not like the every weekend kind of girl that's gonna be like, like. Or if you're like, let's play golf together, I'm gonna come try. But I'm probably gonna drive that golf cart and honestly.
Host 2
Exactly.
Host 1
Can I send you with the guys.
Host 2
Right.
Host 1
But other things. Right? Like, I'll. Like, there would be compromises that I would be, of course, more than willing to do, but if you have to compromise everything and they compromise basically nothing.
Host 2
Right.
Host 1
That's not a partnership. That is you orbiting around them and just waiting for them to give you.
Host 2
And then they wonder why you snap one day because, like, you left a cupboard door open.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
I do everything for you.
Host 1
Literally. Or why one day you're just like, bye. Like, wait, what? I know, I know. For all this time I've bent to your every will, but guess what? I was keeping score in my brain of, like, how much more? How much more? When's it my turn?
Shopify Spokesperson
Oh, never.
Host 1
Never. It's my turn. Okay.
Host 2
It's not going to work.
Host 1
It can only take so much, like, literally.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 1
You always get your way.
Host 2
But it sounds like to the person who wrote us in, they have a. They. It sounds like they have a good relationship. And maybe just like I would say to her without more information, be very clear and don't settle until you reach a compromise.
Host 1
Yeah.
Host 2
Because every relationship should be able to compromise. And so that. That's what I would say.
Host 1
Like, agreed.
Host 2
Push.
Host 1
Yes.
Host 2
Push.
Host 1
Yes. Anyway, anyway. Well, this has been great. Great little catch up.
Host 2
It's been fabulous. It's so good to be back.
Host 1
So good to have you back.
Host 2
I love how chic it is in here. It's like a hot yoga studio podcast.
Host 1
The air conditioning is on. I told you it wasn't going to keep up with these lights. Lights. And it being 104 outside, just a little wall unit.
Host 2
I'm like, I don't know how I got titty sweat. No titties, but it's seriously under there.
Host 1
I saw this thing on Pinterest the other day in Terms and it's for like. I remember I was telling you about that like in room air conditioning thing. The little thing.
Host 2
Yes.
Host 1
And I was like trying to find it. It popped up last night. So I was like, oh, screenshot this. I think I'm gonna try to order one and see if it actually works. Oh yeah, because we melting like right now. I'm about to be like. I'm like, these legs are sweaty, my pants are wet.
Host 2
A piss mouth.
Host 1
Everything's perfect. Except it's the sun outside.
Host 2
Exactly. We're moist, you guys. Anyway, let's go before my mustache starts running.
Host 1
All right, well, if you want to send us a phone, a friend, and you want our unhinged, unprofessional advice, you can email us@everythingsperfectpodcast gmail.com.
Host 2
that's right. And also, believe it or not, we have an Instagram and I haven't been the best at posting on there, but girls, don't give up on me yet. Cuz it's going to get better. And that is. Everything's Perfect Official.
Host 1
Okay.
Sponsor Announcer 1
Really?
Host 1
It's been a year.
Host 2
I was in another dimension for two weeks. So hit us up on Instagram. Give us a follow. Everything's Perfect Official.
Host 1
Yes.
Host 2
We'll see you guys next time.
Shopify Spokesperson
Bye.
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Podcast Summary: "Everything’s Perfect Except… Your Partner Stopped Showing Up"
Everything's Perfect – August 11, 2026
Hosts: Autumn Calabrese & Donald Stamper
This lively episode of Everything’s Perfect features Autumn and Donald reuniting after Donald’s European adventure. The conversation flows from travel stories and cultural observations to a listener’s heartfelt question about navigating a partner’s health and motivation. Expect plenty of fun, real talk, honest explorations of relationships, and the signature blend of comedy and compassion that defines the show.
A listener writes in about her husband’s declining health and motivation:
Clear, direct communication is crucial—don’t hint, state needs plainly (“Sometimes your partner needs to be reminded very plainly, like, lay it out. It's important to me that we do that together.”—30:18).
Seek “bridge activities”—start small if big ones like hiking or zip-lining are off the table.
Potential strategy: control the food environment at home supportively—not punitively; lead by example.
Humor: “The next time he wants to eat, just sit on his face.” (Host 1, 32:41) Cheeky but points to seeking fun ways to change up routines.
Donald’s advice: Be true to yourself, uncompromising about core needs and shared life goals. “Every relationship should be able to compromise ... don’t settle until you reach a compromise.” (45:59)
| Segment | Timestamps | |--------------------------------------------|:-----------:| | Reunited & LA Heat Banter | 01:00–01:18 | | European Trip Recap | 01:46–22:22 | | Listener’s Relationship Question | 22:48–46:25 | | Wrap-up & Closing Banter | 46:30–47:27 |
For listeners who missed this episode:
Expect a rich, funny, and heartfelt exploration of travel, relationships, and what it means to keep showing up for your own life—and the people you share it with. The travel tales will spark wanderlust, while the relationship advice will leave you thinking about how you show up for your loved ones (and yourself).
Everything’s perfect... kind of.