
Donald is in town from Arizona and thehttps://goodmoodbrews.com/is flowing! The conversation immediately spirals into exactly the kind of chaos you'd expect from two besties who haven't seen each other in a while and now proceed to word-vomit every...
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Autumn
we have a couple of autumn's beverages. Yes, this is the Beauty Brew.
Audrey
This is the Beauty Brew.
Autumn
Come on, Beauty Brew, do your thing. I literally was driving here. I have this chronic thing where I suck in to like, try to make my like, you know, in pictures you're like, yeah, but so anyways, I did it. I'm like, oh God. I think I've also been strengthening whatever tendons are under here.
Audrey
You're starting to get the lines, the little bit of.
Autumn
Yeah. And when I do that, I turned and I was like. So anyways, that's why I said, come on, Beauty Brew, do your thing. I'm sure you can't guarantee that. It's gonna tighten your neck.
Audrey
It's gonna tighten your neck.
Autumn
How are you?
Audrey
I'm good. How are you?
Autumn
I'm doing great.
Audrey
I'm happy you guys are here.
Autumn
Yeah, me too.
Audrey
It feels like old times when I get to see you like. Wait, was it last week? No, two weeks.
Autumn
Two weeks.
Audrey
It feels like it's only been a week.
Autumn
Yeah, I think I. Well, yeah. Well, I stayed till Tuesday.
Audrey
Yeah.
Autumn
So it. Today's Friday, week and a half. I will say it's awfully gray and cold here. I didn't expect it to be this
Audrey
chilly except I mean it's like 73.
Autumn
It was like 66 when I pulled in.
Audrey
Do you see the sun just now starting to come out? It's four o'.
Autumn
Clock. The is it just shows up to set.
Audrey
Literally.
Autumn
It's like a father doing the least like.
Audrey
But you lose a Monday, I think on Wednesday it's supposed to be like 85. Perfect, perfect.
Autumn
It'll stay nice until I come back.
Audrey
Yeah, but isn't it like 105 by you already?
Autumn
It is hot, but it's dry heat, as everyone says.
Audrey
My stylist, who is from there, she was doing my hair coloring it the other day and she was talking about it and she's like, yeah. She's like, it's been nice. It hasn't been that hot, but it's coming. And she's like, it's just so bad. You just can't even go outside. And it's so frustrating because, like, it's summer and you want to be outside. And I was like, yes. I was like, I hope you're so right. She's like, huh? And I was like, I want my friends to come back.
Autumn
I. I have a friend there who I have been friends with. She's not from there. And her and my parents happen to totally separate, move there at around the same time, so. And she is from Michigan, so she's like a cold weather girl. She loves snow, she loves the, like. She's not a big sunshine person.
Audrey
Okay.
Autumn
She's lovely, but. But she's just, you know, into that kind of climate. And so when I told her before we moved that I was thinking of moving, I thought she'd be like, oh, I'm so excited we'll live in the same town again. Because we haven't lived in the same town. We both lived in Ohio for a long time. And she was like, don't do it. Don't do it. You will not be happy. You're going to be so landlocked. It's the desert, it's dry. They don't have the same restaurants. LA has. It's not your thing. And I was like, oh, my gosh, girl, there's not even a single thing you're saying, like, well, you might like this, but. But I did it anyway. And yet, yeah, here I am. So we'll see. I know it is going to be hot. It's going to be hot and it's going to last when you're falling. Exactly. Call me when you have to go to Costco and get a bunch of bags of ice to dump in your
Audrey
pool just to bring it down to body temperature. Then you, you know it's hot out.
Autumn
Exactly.
Audrey
Okay, so I have a bone to pick. And you're dancing the line of this bone that I have to pick. Oh, this 70s porn stash has got to go. Why is everybody. Tom Selleck called. He Wants his mustache back from all of these guys.
Autumn
I. Why? I don't know. Because I always thought I wouldn't like it. And something about it I think is just so great.
Audrey
Nothing, nothing about it. Nothing about the porn stash is doing it for me. I think I might have an. An extra special trigger to it because I. In the 80s, my dad had one and his was thick like Tom Sellecks. So all I see when I see it is my dad in the 80s.
Autumn
Yeah, I.
Audrey
There's. To me, this is just me. There's nothing attractive about it. It looks like you should be on the COVID of a porn magazine. Well, I just don't like it.
Autumn
It's also kind of disgusting. Like, people. Like, my mustache is just a little bit longer. Scruff.
Audrey
That's why I said, you're dancing the line right now.
Autumn
Like, if. But people who have big mustaches, they look great to me in theory. I know you don't like the look at all, but I've seen in my life, and I'll never unsee, like, when a guy blows his nose and there's like a booger stuck in his nose.
Audrey
There would be boogers stuck in there.
Autumn
Yeah. And if you think about if you wipe your mouth with food or even like, how I actually, like, trimmed my face this morning. But when. When I'm like, eating or wiping my face, it grosses me out to think, God, there's going to be like, napkin particles up there. So if you're gonna rock that mustache, you gotta be on your aame. You better. You better be checking yourself every other. Every time you do anything close to your face.
Audrey
All I know is that won't be the guy I'm dating.
Autumn
Yeah. You're not there. You're not down for. What is it? Mustache rides? Is that what they call it? No, I didn't make.
Audrey
Which is so funny because I think I would almost rather like a beard or a goatee. I'm not saying I want either, but I'm saying, like, I guess if I had to have a choice, maybe a trimmed down beard. Not a big bushy beard.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
But the full stash. No, I. Where was I? I was at Target the other day and I was like, everywhere I looked, these guys had the stash. And I was like, what? Who decided exactly?
Autumn
Like, what did I miss? When did this become.
Audrey
Yeah, when did it become a thing? Maybe guys feel that way about girls. Like, when we all have the trend of, like, wearing our hair the same way. Like, the bob was just in and everything. Maybe guys Are like, why do everybody chop their hair off?
Autumn
Yeah. What happened? Where. Is there a big, like, meeting convention where they're like, all right, girls.
Audrey
Yeah, it's time to cut our hair. Scissors line up.
Autumn
I think it's funny when guys, especially. Because it's like, a straight guy who doesn't do skin care, really think about his outfit that much. Like, just like a. I think the saying guys, guy is funny because that kind of makes you think of a gay person. But. But then they have these big, long beards, and they, like, take care of them. And I'm like, that's. That's kind of a interesting thing to think about. Like, do they have to brush their beard? You gotta shampoo it, I'm sure. And get up in there. And if you take care of it, you have beard oil.
Audrey
Yeah.
Autumn
And it's like. So you just decided to take any ounce of taking care of yourself, like, of.
Audrey
And it all went to your facial
Autumn
hair all in your beard. Like, this is my focus. Meanwhile, you got nostril hair. You've never trimmed your hair.
Audrey
You never touch exactly the bush coming out of it.
Autumn
The beard is.
Audrey
But the beard is well groomed.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
No.
Autumn
Well, I don't know. I'd love to hear what you guys think if you. If you're into the porn stash, because I think it's kind of cute, actually. Our friend Joel, when he. He talked about, like, he had to shave his face for something, so he wasn't doing it long term, but because of that, he kind of had a mustache. Like, kind of had that moment, and I was like, I like it. Like, I think it looks cool. I don't know.
Audrey
Don't rock that for the wedding, Joel.
Autumn
That's right. I had a really stupid moment the other day.
Audrey
I'm here for it.
Autumn
I thought I would confess it. I told Autumn about this earlier, but I didn't tell her what it was.
Audrey
He just told me he had a stupid moment, and I can't wait to hear what it was.
Autumn
So you remember the story about how I was a bartender? And so this is just another time that this happened. So. So you guys know, this probably happened to me at different times my entire life. I was bartending, and the seats were all full, the bar. And some people came in, and right behind bar seats, there was a window that had, like, a large ledge. But I said, you can sit on the window seal. And they looked at me, and they're like, seal.
Audrey
Rrr.
Autumn
And started making seal noises. I was like, what? They were like, it's sill. And I was like, oh, my God, My whole life, not only would I have always spelled that wrong, I thought I was saying it like. I thought everyone was saying window seal because the glass seals. Whatever. So it made sense in my brain. I. This whole time, have been saying and envisioning when someone's on. I don't. Can't even say it. I always said, pro roll.
Audrey
Huh?
Autumn
Your pro roll, Officer. What? It's. It's par roll.
Audrey
Parole.
Autumn
Well, but it's spelled P A R O L E, right?
Audrey
Yes.
Autumn
Parole. I didn't know. I thought it was like, P R O R O L E. And I was like, parole. I have said. Well, it's kind of the way people say it. Is parole officer, parole. I didn't know I said it wrong this whole time, you guys. I was like, that's good. I guess I've never had to have one. I guess. I guess we never had to apply for it. That was my stupid moment.
Audrey
I just want to know how you discovered that you were saying it wrong. What? Where? When were you talking about reading a case? Oh, okay.
Autumn
That was interesting, actually. But, like. Well, I was reading the case. I was scrolling on Instagram and read a caption on Instagram. But I feel like I understand the whole case now, but it was about someone who got their parole denied.
Audrey
Okay.
Autumn
And I was just like, they're what? Because I was reading it, and I was like, oh, what the fuck? I have been saying and envisioning and. Thank God I never wrote this down on a piece of paper.
Audrey
Thank God you never had to type it in a deposition.
Autumn
Well, you know the thing about my deposition? Typing it autocorrects. I just make notes. So what I type isn't the finished transcript. A transcriptionist does it.
Audrey
Oh, okay.
Autumn
And so I just. I'm like. If they can get an idea of what I'm. Because I'm typing so fast, I don't hold myself accountable at all. So sometimes I'll intentionally spell things crazy if I don't know the spelling. So the transcriptionist will think, oh, his fingers are just going too fast. You won't have any idea. Like, I didn't have no clue how to spell that word.
Audrey
I mean, no clue how to spell a word. Happens to me a lot.
Autumn
It's tough.
Audrey
And we've been over this. I hate when you go to spell a word and it's, like, so wrong that autocorrect can't get it, and then you say the word into your phone and then it gives it back. But it's like, it still is wrong. And I'm like, that's not the word I just said. And I know I didn't say parole. Yeah, I said I said it right. And it still sometimes, like, gives me the wrong thing. And I'm like, well, damn, now I can't use this word, so I'm gonna need another word.
Autumn
I know that's the word. Or if I'm trying to do it and I'm someplace loud, so I can't.
Audrey
Yes, you can't.
Autumn
Unless I'm screaming it. You're like, what's wrong with that idiot? Yeah, no, it's tricky. It's bad when you're so lost, your autocorrect won't even.
Audrey
You know what I had a hard time with forever? Like, if I was saying convenience store. Spelling it. Spelling convenient. Don't ask me to spell it right now. I'll get it wrong. But
Autumn
I don't know how to spell.
Audrey
It's like, you have to, like, really.
Autumn
First half. But not.
Audrey
Yes, the C, O, N, B can
Autumn
be then I, E. Because I remember I before E except after C. Yeah. And then there's sometimes in there N. Yin.
Audrey
I don't know. Anyway, I'd like to say, yeah, we got it.
Autumn
Two of us. Well, it doesn't matter. You know why? I saw.
Audrey
It's not convenient to have to know how to spell.
Autumn
I saw on Instagram, it was like, quote. It's not like you're gonna have a little calculator in your pocket with your whole life. Lion, ass, teacher.
Audrey
It's not like you're gonna have a dictionary in your pocket the whole life. Abbreviations. These kids make up new words. Skippity. What?
Autumn
Right? And the things that they don't even teach, like having to learn cursive.
Audrey
Do you know? Like, because Dom doesn't know cursive. His dad and I have been trying to teach him just how to write his name. Incursive. Because you got to sign documents. Like, sometimes you still have to sign your name. And he, you know, he would be like, what do I do? And I was like, I can't believe you don't know cursive. Like, this is crazy. Yeah, because he was at a regular school in second grade, but they don't teach it anymore.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
Which. I don't know. It's just so weird to me. Like, But I read somewhere. I have no idea if this is when I say somewhere, I mean on the Internet and I mean on Instagram.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
That AI can't read cursive. And they are saying the reason it's not being taught, it's like a lost art, is because then we won't be able to translate our original documents like the Declaration of Independence and stuff like that. Because they're all written in cursive, right?
Autumn
That's what I heard too.
Audrey
So I don't know if that's actually accurate, but.
Autumn
Well, they don't want. Well, I think the. Where I saw it, someone was going with a little bit darker conspiracy. Like they want us to eventually forget our rights.
Audrey
Who knows if that's what it is? If it's that they don't want us to be able to read those things, understand what our rights were anymore. Like once you get Dom's generation and after, if they don't learn cursive, how would they read it?
Autumn
You know what I'd like to dive into at some point?
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Autumn
Tell me, I wonder why they changed so much of what we learned.
Audrey
What do you mean? Like in school?
Autumn
Yeah, like. Like, I heard they don't teach. Well, like. But like, they don't teach. I don't even know what phonics is, but. But we learned phonics.
Audrey
Phonics was, I think how. Like that was like learning to read. Like sounding. Yeah. Learning sounding out words.
Autumn
Yeah. And it would. It also would teach you some of the rules like before E except after C or something like that. Yeah, but they're the way they. And the biggest thing I've. I have parents with kids and maybe you've Seen this with Dom.
Audrey
You mean you have siblings with kids?
Autumn
Yeah. No, I know you have parents.
Audrey
I was like, yes, you do have parents with kids.
Autumn
I have friends with kids.
Audrey
Yeah.
Autumn
The math is so.
Audrey
Oh, my God. It's so. We're doing great. Thing is her. No, literally, the math is so different. But they changed the math a long time ago. Because they changed the math when my stepson was, like, 7 or 8 years old, and he's, I don't know, 27 now. So 20 years ago, this is Kent's son. Because he would come home from school and he would ask me for help with his homework, and I would start trying to explain it, and he's like, no. He would call me Audie. He'd go, no, Audi, that's not how you do it. And I'm like, yeah, it is. And I would stack the numbers, and he's like, no, you take out the zero, and then you add the other numbers and then you put. And I was like, well, I can't help you because I don't know what the fuck you're doing. Like, you're doing the most.
Autumn
Right?
Audrey
Stack those bitches and do it. Like, somebody got bored one day and said, we need a different way to teach math. And it is so stupid.
Autumn
Yeah, it's just. I don't understand why they changed that. Like, I haven't heard the reasons why or the reason why they're getting rid of cursive. Not that the. It. Maybe it's that important, but.
Audrey
Right.
Autumn
If we ever. I mean, what else are you teaching kids at a young age? I don't know. Like, what's the big deal?
Audrey
We're still teaching. Like, I don't know, just history from so long ago that it's like, okay, can we bring it a little more up to date? Like, I don't care what happened in the 1800s. We're so far past the 1800s, it is so irrelevant.
Autumn
Right.
Audrey
Like, let's just bring it up to this century a little bit. Like.
Autumn
I know, I know. I think it also is wild. I. I was talking to my brother about this because he has young kids. One of my oldest niece is in second grade right now, and so she'll be going into third grade, I guess. And then they're looking at schools for their young, for their youngest kid. And. But I saw this thing that said the problem with school is it actually doesn't train people to. To be inventive and. And creative, and it trains people to fall in line and do what they're
Audrey
told because that's what it was needed for 100 years ago. Out work the fields, know what you need to know. Yes. Like, it wasn't what we need. Yeah. Like, we're not taught independent thinking in school. Like, you're not really taught to think and problem solve. It's still so much of like, just stuff that's useless. You're not even taught how to, like, really operate in the world.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
Like, can someone teach, let me tell you, trying to start a new business. Can I get that class, please? Because life lessons the hard way, but, you know, like all these different things that you need and how to set up this account and taxes and like, stuff that is really important. Especially like if you're going to be an entrepreneur and so many people are entrepreneurs now. But, like, there's no class for that.
Autumn
Right.
Audrey
How do you find the other people that you need to work with to help you? Like, there's no class for that.
Autumn
Yeah, absolutely.
Audrey
These kids don't know how to balance a checkbook.
Autumn
I know. I think, well, you know how to balance a checkbook. I, I technically know how, but you
Audrey
could if you had to.
Autumn
I was always like, ballpark is good enough for me.
Audrey
I, I used to do it down to like the penny. I don't really use a checkbook anymore.
Autumn
Exactly.
Audrey
That's the problem. So, like, I could. I'd probably cry a little bit if I balance my checkbook right now. I'd be like, oh, God, I can't. What am I doing? Yeah, I need to sit my ass at home for a second.
Autumn
I gotta take a little beat before I write a check. Like, because I just maybe write one check a year. Yeah. Like, I can't even think about, you know, it's like you have to, you have to take a second, let it come back to you.
Audrey
Yeah. You're like, what do I put on this line? Hold on, I got it right. 00 over 100. Okay.
Autumn
It's just wild. I find myself saying more and more we lived in such unprecedented times. Like, it really is no way of knowing. I saw a video of a robot.
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Autumn
Because, you know.
Audrey
Yeah.
Autumn
Which I'm kind of excited about the robots. I think they're a really cool thing until they end up.
Audrey
Until they kill us.
Autumn
Well, I saw, I saw a video on Instagram of. And I don't know if it was one of Elon Musk's robots, but probably. And I think it's, I think, you know, Tesla is doing a lot of amazing, very forward thinking things.
Audrey
So why are you trying to get us canceled? Everybody hates Elon.
Autumn
This isn't throwing shade. Some people like him. Tesla's huge right now. This is the self driving. That's what I want.
Audrey
No, that'll drive you right off a cliff. That's why I got rid of my Tesla.
Autumn
Huh? I saw a video of a Tesla with no driver that was literally just like doing donuts in the middle of an intersection. I was like, without driving? Yeah, like it was a malfunction or something.
Audrey
Yeah. Because I would drive my Tesla and I never put it in self drive mode. That scared the out of me. But it still had like the lane assist, lane correct stuff. And I swear to God, I can't tell you how many times it would lane correct. And I'm like, you're pulling me into traffic.
Autumn
Well, it is tricky because I'm good. Huh?
Audrey
And I got to like yank back and I'm like, I don't need that on a canyon road.
Autumn
Okay. Exactly. I actually thought about that the other day because Nell's looking at cars and I want him to get a Tesla. And I will use the Tesla for self drive mode because I don't like driving very much. So that would be fun for me. But I was like, imagine, imagine myself here like driving through the canyons. I was like, except for there you. I don't trust it that well.
Audrey
It would be really hard still to drive the Tesla from Arizona to here.
Autumn
I would have to stop.
Audrey
You'd have to stop and charge. But you'd have to really be Careful about knowing exactly where your charging stations are because.
Autumn
And you better hope they're not full or.
Audrey
Yeah, you're gonna be. And you gotta wait. Like. Like, sometimes they have fast lightning charges ones, but, like, not always. So it could take an hour. Like.
Autumn
No, I know that that would not be ideal, but. But it would be fun even just zipping around town. But anyways, so the robot video.
Audrey
Robot video.
Autumn
The guy was, like, shoving this robot, and the robot was so mobile and could handle him pushing so well that it, like a human would maybe, like, take a few steps back and find its balance and stand up. And so then he showed, like, kicking it as hard as he could and he knocked it over. Boom. And the robot just got back up and stood there. And someone commented and said. Until the robot says.
Audrey
Yeah.
Autumn
I was like, I know. I don't think. Because, you know, like, AI because it learns.
Audrey
It's gonna be like, kick me again.
Autumn
It's like, oh, I see how we're supposed to do.
Audrey
Yeah. I see how we treat each other.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
And then guess what? That big old metal foot coming at you. It's not going to be like a human.
Autumn
Right. But it was crazy to watch. Crazy, though, because it's futuristic. It's things when we were kids, which I guess we're older than I feel, but I feel like, still listen for.
Audrey
Yeah. For all the things we have invented and done. For all the Jetsons stuff that we have. Where's my flying car?
Autumn
Oh, they're going to.
Audrey
Where's my hoverboard?
Autumn
It's coming. I'm about a hoverboard. I'll fall off. And that's just a farther fall than a skateboard.
Audrey
But I'm just saying. Michael J. Fox and Back to the Future hoverboard flying. I'm like, come on, man.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
Why do I got to sit in all this traffic? Although I don't really want to crash in the air, so I guess I kind of would rather stay on the ground.
Autumn
Yeah. I. That's what I wonder is when there's flying cars, if they'll all be. Also, if you enter the destination.
Audrey
Yes.
Autumn
And they take you there. Because I don't trust people on the street. I for damn sure don't trust these strangers in the air flying next to me.
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Autumn
And can you imagine you, if you're still one of the traditionalists, driving on the ground, you just see, like, the collision falling.
Audrey
You gotta hope that you can dodge it.
Autumn
Exactly.
Audrey
Oh, this is just getting bad. Well, by the minute.
Autumn
Welcome into I'm thinking about. I'm thinking like this more often than usual because there's so much new.
Audrey
Oh, let me tell you, like last week, maybe my anxiety was so off the charts because of just everything going on in the world. Like, I have to. I really can't look at my phone very much because I spiral quickly. Like, because it's so out of our control. Can't control what's happening in the government. Can't control what's happening with war. Can't control how fast technology is going. Like, there's so much that it's like. And watching how much has changed, I would say even in the last really five years, like 20, 19. So six years, like pandemic hit. And it just feels like in these last six years, like. Wait, what?
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
What.
Autumn
What Feels like we all went through some vortex there.
Audrey
Yes. What vortex matrix did we plug into? Because I would like to unplug and go back to the old one. I don't like this.
Autumn
Read a hard reset.
Audrey
I would like hard reset, unplug, count to 10. One Mississippi, Mississippi, please. Really, really reboot the out of this. Like. Yeah, I don't like this one. I want to. I know I mentioned it before where I've talked about Die Hard. I think It's Die Hard 5 where it's like a fire sale and basically a fire sales where somebody like, hacks into the system and just is like essentially doing that, rebooting everything. Like wipes out bank accounts, power grids, everything. And I'm like, you know, maybe. I mean, maybe could you leave my bank account alone? Yeah, let me take some cash out real quick. But then hit that reboot button, girl.
Autumn
The problem is, while we're doomsdaying it, the cash is nothing but paper.
Audrey
I know. It means nothing.
Autumn
Yeah, it'll keep you warm when you throw it in the fire.
Audrey
So be it. But do we need some chickens? Should I start planting some vegetables out here and that.
Autumn
It's always good. Have a nice little garden. Except for. Except. Except for.
Audrey
And then. Except for. I say that too.
Autumn
I hate when I say fur. And I do it all the time. Like, yeah, but for. It's like, wait.
Audrey
For no reason
Autumn
people.
Audrey
Trash from Ohio.
Autumn
Exactly.
Audrey
No offense to anybody.
Autumn
Yeah. Not all people from Ohio are that. But that's what we are. I. But it is a nice reminder because I start to, like, get drawn into that. Like, oh, my God. What. What matters? What's going to happen to society? Like, my brother Kenny just got a really good promotion and I'm so proud of him, he actually works for Amazon
Audrey
and who's also replacing everybody with robots.
Autumn
He said now I just have to wait. I hope I don't get laid off. He said because he was like so much of what I do and the. Because he. I don't fully understand what he does, but it's something with like computer systems. So much of what I do is with makes it can happen so easily because of using AI.
Audrey
Yeah.
Autumn
That I'm like pretty soon my part could be AI, which I don't know if he really thinks that, but it just gets you thinking. Like what is the future look like? And so I've been reminding myself something that will always have to keep a little bit analog is taking care of ourselves. Like, you know.
Audrey
No, I agree with you. The. The scary part is though and this is what I feel like nobody is really stopping to pay attention. I'm like come on guys, just slow down for a second. And common sense this first just a beat. All the AI is fun and it's great and it makes things easier. And oh my God. And I don't have to film and I don't have to edit and I don't have to think and I don't have to write. But the more jobs get replaced by AI, eventually none of us have jobs. Like none of us because. And then nobody can take care of themselves because nobody's working. Like there. What is there a couple people at the very top that come up with an idea for a company use AI to run it all. But then we. Even those people will be out of it eventually because none of us will have jobs to pay for whatever it is they have. Like, I know it probably sounds crazy, but it's really not that far away. It's like if everybody just keeps replacing humans with computers.
Autumn
I feel like there's only one option.
Audrey
Stop and using AI.
Autumn
Well I. Oh, that is one. But that's not gonna happen. I think the only opt not like some I hope like for example, it's a long ways away that a robot's gonna be able to teach ballroom dancing to two human beings. Like another human being can. You can watch videos like 2 dimensionally.
Audrey
Who's gonna be able to afford ballroom dance lessons if they don't have a job?
Autumn
What people? What? Because this is something that like the. The. What's the saying? The powers that be.
Audrey
The powers that be.
Autumn
That be. Yeah, they. These conversations have happened and I think. And I'm not. This is not me being pro or anti elon musk. I'm being totally Just talking about him as who he is as a human. But he's one of them in the conversation and many of them believe that AI is going to make it where humans actually like there will have to be just like a. AI will support humanity and humans aren't going to work the same. There's just going to be. And really what that is is socialism but it's going to be people who. Because the other alternative is all the. But majority of humans die.
Audrey
Every human dies. But I mean because of it. Yeah.
Autumn
Guess what population is wiped out.
Audrey
That's what's going to happen. Let me tell you why. Because if you looked at our society, we're assholes. Most people are not nice people. I'm sorry. So who's going to be the cop to make sure that everybody plays by the and plays by the rules and why are they going to be the cop over somebody else? They're going to get some sort of favoritism over somebody else. So they're going to get what? A bigger house.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
More food.
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Audrey
Easier travel like you know what I'm saying? So like I get that that's where it looks like it's going. And that's what's scary because it's like right now we live in a place where I can work and I can determine the quality of the life I want to live based on the effort I put in and how much I educate myself and all that stuff. Yeah, but if AI keeps taking all the jobs and computers keep taking all the jobs, I also don't want to eat Printed meat.
Autumn
I don't want to eat printed meat either. And actually, when I was vegan, really, like, cow. When I was vegan, I was kind of down for the printed meat because I was like, my biggest reason for being vegan was about animals having to suffer or whatever. Right. So I was like, oh, if they can make, like, the same thing. But an animal didn't have to suffer. I don't win for science. No, it actually, like, there's a lot of controversy around that. And I'm like, okay, like, if you don't want to eat an animal because it had to suffer, then just go back to being vegan, you stupid. Don't go eat, like, meat that was grown in a lab. It's kind of wild to think.
Audrey
No, it's literally like, have you watched them, like, print. Like, I've seen videos where they, like, print it. I'm like, no, that.
Autumn
You know what else is so wild?
Audrey
I didn't know we were doing a conspiracy episode. We ended up here.
Autumn
Let me pause to say we. We were like, let'. This is our first. You know, I came into town. This is our first one we're filming. And I'm like, yeah, let's just shoot the my stupid moment. And now we've spiraled. But you're with us now.
Audrey
This is what we do. We spiral.
Autumn
What's crazy.
Audrey
Oh, my God. I've hit my face on this, like, four times, easy.
Autumn
What's crazy to think about is that makes me think that teleportation will definitely happen one day. Because if they can just print, like, 3D printing is kind of crazy.
Audrey
Yeah.
Autumn
If they can, like, make all of those things, they're going to be able to dissolve us and reprint us someplace else.
Audrey
I hope not in our lifetime.
Autumn
I wouldn't mind, like, going to my little transport or what's it called?
Audrey
Teleportation.
Autumn
Teleportation closet in my house and be able to pop up over here.
Audrey
I would like you to be able to pop up here, too. But I just, you know, I'm gonna need you to do a lot of experimentation on other things.
Autumn
I'm still open my nose over here.
Audrey
How do we get this back?
Autumn
I don't want to be one of the glitch. One of the glitches.
Audrey
No, thank you. I don't want to be a glitch. Yeah, it's. All of it is interesting, but that's like. So I said I had really bad anxiety last week because it was like, I kind of got sucked in. And then once you're in. You got to reset your algorithm, man.
Autumn
I know my algorithm. My algorithm's doing pretty good, right?
Audrey
It got real dark for a second there.
Autumn
I was like, it's probably my fault because I'd be sending. You watch it. And all of a sudden.
Audrey
And then I can't stop it. I'm like, oh, my God. And this. Oh, my God.
Autumn
And this, this. And I'm like,
Audrey
me for a red cloak. That's where I feel like we're exactly.
Autumn
Another thing that they should teach in school. Because I would really like to understand better right now because I do think that a lot of people who understand it could benefit is the stock market. And especially because our current president, like, publicly invests in public stock and talks about it more than any past president and it sort of gives you like a. Okay, maybe I should buy this. Because all this because just watch where
Audrey
he puts his money and be like, I'm in.
Autumn
Exactly. Because I know he's gonna want to make money, so he's gonna say something and let's make money together. But I. And I've been seeing. What makes me think about speaking of the algorithm. I've been seeing people like in the past, I don't know, six months or something, or definitely since the beginning of the year, it's already happened once where like more millionaires were made in a day than ever in history because of this watch.
Audrey
Literally. Because it's obvious.
Autumn
Exactly. And like, like, for example, I think it happened with Dell. He bought a bunch of Dell stock and was like, you know, everyone should go out and buy some Dell stock. Which is like, oh my God. But. And then it jumped almost.
Audrey
Because everybody went out and bought it.
Autumn
Exactly. So if you, if you can predict.
Audrey
Well, you don't need to learn the stock market. You just.
Autumn
I'm watching you. Well, I do need to learn it because I don't even know how to spell parole. I'll be on there. Maybe. I'm like, I thought he said dill.
Audrey
He's like, I bought Dell.
Autumn
I got all this pickle stock.
Audrey
You're like, that's not ice doll.
Autumn
The Pineapples. It's all making sense.
Audrey
They stole our word. Oh my God, that's so funny. That'd be a great.
Autumn
We could change the subject a little bit. Speaking of.
Audrey
Let's do it.
Autumn
Did you. Oh, you went where?
Audrey
Oh, to Kevin Hart.
Autumn
The Rose.
Audrey
Ah, she was so good.
Autumn
Was that a surprise or did you know you were going. I didn't know you were going to
Audrey
take it's last minute.
Autumn
Okay.
Audrey
I had been watching Funny AF on Netflix. That's Kevin's new show, like, where he's looking for the next comedian.
Autumn
Seen it yet?
Audrey
It's really good. And, you know, the second you start watching anything, like, your phone picks up on it. And I was getting ready to go to bed. This was, like, three days before the show, I guess. Three or four days before the show. I'm scrolling Instagram, and it serves it up as an ad that you get tickets to the Kevin Hart. The roasted Kevin Hart Netflix. And I was like, wait, what? In Inglewood, like, and it's on Mother's Day. Like, stop. And so I click on it. I want to see what's left. And there were some good seats left. And, like, they. I mean, there was plenty that were, like, affordable higher up. And then there was, like. There were floor seats that were actually not horrible.
Autumn
Crazy.
Audrey
And I knew Dom was off work because he had already told me he was off for Mother's Day. And I was like, you know what? It's my day.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
Bye. And we were, like, on the floor, so we're not far from the front at all. And it was fucking Usher comes up out of the floor singing Let It Burn. And then he's, like, roasting him through the songs.
Autumn
Yeah. So cool.
Audrey
And then. Oh, God, what's his name? Why am I gonna draw a blank right now?
Autumn
One of the comedians.
Audrey
No. Who? The football player that he.
Autumn
Oh, yeah. Huh.
Audrey
That he roasted last year. Tom Brady.
Autumn
Okay, thank you.
Audrey
I was like, come on.
Autumn
Really awkward. No, we can't.
Audrey
I. I knew exactly who it was. I was like, I know who Tom Brady is. But then Tom Brady comes out and is roasting him. Hilarious. And then you're watching, like, you know, Chelsea Handler and all the other comedians, and they were all really good. And obviously, Kevin's such a good sport about it, so he's, like, laughing. And they kept saying, like, I thought for sure Nikki Glacier would be there because she was on Funny AF with him.
Autumn
Okay.
Audrey
So was Chelsea Handler. So Chelsea was there. Nikki wasn't he? And he said like. Or whoever said, like, nikki's not going to be here. The Rock's not going to be here. And I'm like, the Rock's not going to be here. This is, like, his best friend. Like, there's no way the Rock is not here. And they had. When they were warming up the crowd, like, before the cameras rolled, which is cool, because they were literally filming live.
Autumn
That's what I thought they filmed a lot. Ask you about that. Yeah.
Audrey
So they're like talking to the audience and they're like, we're going in 10, 9, 8. And like, everything thing starts. And we were sitting like right next to Video Village, so we could kind of see them calling cameras and everything. It was cool. But one of the people warming us up was like, you guys all know the song We Will Rock youk. And he's like, let's practice it. You'll know when to do it. And I was like, okay, that feels like a rock thing. Like wwe, all that stuff. Anyways, he's the last one to come out to collect the rock.
Autumn
I just realized because I knew this happened because you talked about it, but I just realized I haven't finished the special yet.
Audrey
Oh, sorry.
Autumn
No, I knew that happened, but I was like, oh, wait, I didn't see the rock. I still gotta finish it because it's, I've watched it. It's something I watch at night. And then when I start to get tired, I'm like, okay, you can, this kind of thing. You can stop and the jokes be funny tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Audrey
But the rock was so good.
Autumn
Okay, I can't wait.
Audrey
He was so funny. Like, you could tell he was like, because they've got their scripts written. Like they've got their jokes written, so they're on the prompter. But he also was just ad libbing because we could see, we could see what their script was like, Dom and I could look over and see if they were doing the joke the way it was written or not.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
And like there was like a whole, there was good several minutes where he was just off script, just going at him like they were, and they're going at each other like it was just so good.
Autumn
So do you have any critique of the show? Like, I wasn't sure. I, I, I felt that the host sometimes was not that funny.
Audrey
I did. Agreed. I agree. I like out of everybody, especially because it is Kevin Hart, like, I would have expected the host, he, he felt like he phoned it in.
Autumn
Huh.
Audrey
Whereas everybody else really stepped up. And I would have expected to see a couple other people that were like comedians that he's been closer with over the years. Like in Funny af, Chris Rock is in the last episode as a judge. So I was like, where's Chris Rock? Although they, they even say they're like, he doesn't come do anything anymore.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
But like, I just would have expected maybe, I don't know, somebody else. That was like a little bit. I wish I thought Nikki was gonna host it. And I Wish she would have hosted
Autumn
it because she's a great host.
Audrey
She's amazing at roasts. I think she would have been the better host. But she might be out on tour.
Autumn
Maybe that's why there's a guy who I just love and my phone's over there. So this is annoying that I'm bringing it up because I never know his name, but he hosted. I think it was the Oscars, like, two years. Because Nikki did the Oscars just now.
SpinQuest Announcer
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Autumn
Yeah, he hosted and he has a. A stand up special on Netflix. Okay. What I love about him. Are you looking? I'm looking is he's got, like, gray hair, kind of sandy gray hair.
Audrey
Okay.
Autumn
He doesn't swear or, like, use any, like, perverted language. Like when he hosted the Oscars and someone, like, had a very mo. I think someone came out and said, and ice. And I thought, I wonder how he is a host who's so. The way he handles things gonna do this. And he was like, talked about the swear jar. You're gonna have to put a dollar in the swear jar. Like, I'm gonna get a lot of money tonight. He's just really funny. And so I was thinking the whole time, I'd like to see him do a roast. Do you see him?
Audrey
Well, it's been Jimmy Kimmel and Conan o' Brien like, the last five years.
Autumn
Okay, wait, wait. I'm off camera, but I'm in the episode.
Audrey
No, Conan o' Brien's been the last two years. Jimmy Kimmel was the two years before that. Regina hall, but that's weird. Oh, okay. We are doing great. Then what did Nikki host? Because I thought she did.
Autumn
Then the Oscars. Are the Academy Awards and the Oscars the same thing? Okay, that's not even. I bet a lot of people think they know that, but aren't that sure his name is.
Audrey
She just hosted the Golden Globes. That's what she did.
Autumn
Okay, then he did too.
Audrey
Okay, so you're thinking Golden Globes. Okay. I was like, yeah, that's not the Oscars.
Autumn
Well, stand by, everyone. It's gonna be worth it. And then you'll go check this guy out because he is hilarious.
Audrey
See? Oh, God, Joe Coy.
SpinQuest Announcer
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Audrey
Well, that. The last three years. Nikki has done the last two, and Joe was before that. He is a funny one. Okay, let's try the last five years. So it's not as. It's not as recent as you thought.
Autumn
I told you, we're older than I think we are.
Audrey
Jared Carmichael.
Autumn
His name is Nate Bergartzi.
Audrey
What year did he host in? Because I'm back 2021.
Autumn
And what he hosted. Okay. Nate Bergard.
Audrey
Okay, we're gonna have to wrap this up soon.
Autumn
Hosts Golden Globes. Anyways, he hosted it in 2025 last year.
Audrey
Let me see. I want to see a photo. But in general, I thought the show was amazing. We had a great time.
Autumn
I did, too. It was really good.
Audrey
There was some things for Dom that maybe weren't as funny because he didn't necessarily know the relevance. Like, he didn't know what? Like, I don't know who that. Oh, yes, I think I do.
Autumn
I'm like, we're watching a special while I'm here then. Because he's very funny.
Audrey
So. Yeah, I think there were times where Dom was maybe like, I don't get it.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
Just because he didn't know, like, the referencing the reference or something. And, you know, Dom doesn't love a bunch of, like, there were some jokes in there.
Autumn
I was like, I'm by myself and I don't know if I can laugh at this.
Audrey
Yeah.
Autumn
Anyways, super fun. Yeah. If I was here, I would have gone with you.
Audrey
I know.
Autumn
It would have been really cool to see.
Audrey
It would have been so fun. I love when stuff like that pops up. I'm like, yeah, let's go. Like concerts, whatever. I'm like, ah, tickets, go.
Autumn
Yes. All right.
Audrey
Well, anyhow. Well, that was a fun little catch up.
Autumn
Yeah. I feel like we've learned that important to keep a sense of humor in the midst of the potential doomsday. Doomsday and the civilization as we know it. Plant a garden, get a chicken. Anyway, you guys, thanks for hanging out with us today. We'd love to hear if our conversation sparked anything in your mind that you'd like to hear us talk about or especially if you need some advice, you can email us. If you want to phone a friend, you can put phone a friend in the subject line of your email, and that's at Everything. Everything's perfect. Podcast gmail.com.
Audrey
yep. You can find us on social. Everything's Perfect. Official. And just remember, our advice is a little unhinged and not usually science.
Autumn
Yeah.
Audrey
Unless it's on fitness and nutrition, in which case.
Autumn
That's right. We got.
Audrey
We got you there. Other than that.
Autumn
Yeah. All right. Anyways, we'll see you guys next week. See you next week.
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Podcast Summary: Everything’s Perfect – “Everything’s Perfect Except...The Existential Dread” (June 2, 2026)
In this engaging and candid episode, hosts Autumn Calabrese and Audrey (sometimes called Audie) unpack the “existential dread” of modern life. From personal mishaps and generational trends to deep concerns about technology, AI, and the future of work, the duo navigates everything with humor, vulnerability, and a dash of conspiracy. The conversation ranges from playful takes on facial hair trends to serious worries about human relevancy in a technological world, all while emphasizing the importance of laughter and grounding oneself in the messy, imperfect present.
On the “Porn Stash”:
“Nothing about the porn stash is doing it for me. It looks like you should be on the cover of a porn magazine.” (05:05, Audrey)
On Lost Skills:
“He would be like, what do I do? And I was like, I can’t believe you don’t know cursive. Like, this is crazy.” (12:53, Audrey)
On Education’s Failings:
“It actually doesn’t train people to be inventive and creative. It trains people to fall in line and do what they’re told.” (17:27, Autumn)
On AI Anxiety:
“The more jobs get replaced by AI, eventually none of us have jobs…what is there, a couple people at the very top that come up with an idea for a company, use AI to run it all?” (28:35, Audrey)
On Technology Overload & Existential Fear:
“I would like a hard reset, unplug, count to ten…really, really reboot the out of this.” (26:07, Audrey)
On Staying Grounded:
“It’s important to keep a sense of humor in the midst of the potential doomsday.” (45:44, Autumn)
The episode maintains a breezy, conversational tone even as it veers into deep and sometimes dark territory. Autumn and Audrey intersperse laughter and humor with philosophical musings, never taking themselves too seriously but always coming back to the importance of real talk, self-reflection, and togetherness.
Perfect for listeners who want to feel less alone in their anxieties about the future, learn from hilarious mistakes, and join a community that truly embraces the messy, imperfect, and very human present.