Everything’s Perfect…Except Everyone Has Lost Their Minds

Summary

Podcast Summary: Everything’s Perfect…Except Everyone Has Lost Their Minds

Podcast: Everything's Perfect
Hosts: Autumn Calabrese & Donald (Nell) Stamper
Date: February 10, 2026

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Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Autumn and Nell unpack the realities of living in a world that feels increasingly chaotic. Mixing their signature humor with real talk, they swap stories about gym etiquette, public awkwardness, dance parties, and the emotional weight of current events. The episode closes on an encouraging note, emphasizing the importance of protecting joy and setting boundaries—a relatable comfort for listeners who sometimes feel like everyone has lost their minds.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Infinite Struggles of Gym Etiquette

(Starts ~01:33)

• Returning to the Gym: Autumn recounts her foray back into gym life after years of home workouts, sharing frustrations with inconsiderate gym-goers.
• Common Gym Faux Pas:
  • Using equipment for excessive time (“You do not use one piece of equipment for 30+ minutes.”—Autumn, 02:53)
  • Not reracking weights or cleaning up (“Rerack your frickin weights. Clean up after yourself.”—Autumn, 07:47)
  • Poor sharing etiquette on limited equipment (e.g., keeping ankle attachments or benches to oneself unnecessarily)
• Personal Space Issues: Both describe discomfort when people choose equipment right next to them despite plenty of space (“Why is this girl gotta come and get on the treadmill right next to me? …Why?”—Autumn, 09:53)
• Relatable Restroom Humor: Nell compares “treadmill crowding” to awkward bathroom moments for men (09:53–11:16).

2. Cramped Spaces, Yoga Rave, and Social Oddities

(Yoga Rave Story starts 13:17)

• Overcrowded Yoga Class: A shared experience at a packed yoga session that segues into a “daytime rave” leads to physical discomfort and awkward, funny moments (“This girl's crusty foot was giving me a scalp massage at one point of the class.”—Nell, 13:16).
• Event Planning Wisdom: Autumn stresses the importance of capping class sizes for comfort and enjoyment (“You need to know how many mats fit…so that people aren’t going to get kicked”—Autumn, 15:07).
• Unexpected Rave Music: The duo’s expectations of early 2000s bangers were dashed by world beats and lyric-less tracks — to their comic dismay (“Drop the beat, please…There’s nothing that drives me more crazy than when they’re playing rave type music and it’s just like…and it’s going…and it’s going…and I’m like, drop the beat.”—Autumn, 18:20).
• Dancing Nostalgia: Reflections on how older movies like “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” showcased real, unedited dance talent compared to today’s camera-enhanced dance scenes (19:20–20:41).

3. Finding Joy Amidst the Heaviness

(Starts ~23:40, deepens at 26:14)

• Coping with World Events: Both admit feeling overwhelmed and “paralyzed” by current events, describing ways to actively bring joy into life despite the heaviness.
• Strategies for Positivity:
  • Intentional Fun: Watching old dance movies, participating in light-hearted events, reducing doomscrolling.
  • Gym Time as Sanctuary: For Autumn, exercise is a daily mental health refuge (“My workout is…my sanctuary time. That is my mental health time.” —Autumn, 28:24).
  • Screen Boundaries: Nell discusses limiting social media/news intake to prevent being consumed by negativity, consciously following lighter, positive content.
  • Meaningful Connection: Prioritizing family dinners, time with friends, and “strengthening the bonds” in life as a way out of emotional quicksand.

4. Navigating Social (and Political) Division

(31:20–38:31)

• Growing Fractures: They reflect on how entrenched and polarizing disagreements have become, even among old friends. Autumn notes, “We should just call ourselves the states. States of panic. Or what the…”
• Boundaries & Acceptance: Both describe unfriending and setting boundaries with those whose views become too toxic (“If seeing this upsets me…we literally have no relationship anymore”—Nell, 32:00).
• Importance of Assumptions: Nell shares how his assumptions at a retreat were proven wrong when people he thought might judge him ended up being kind and supportive (33:13–33:59).
• Choosing Where to Engage: Deliberate choices about when to have difficult family/friend discussions, and distinguishing between constructive dialogue and endless, draining argument (“You have to know where the fight is and take it there and know where it isn’t.” —Autumn, 37:01)

5. A Wild, Unnerving Encounter: Witnessing Public Aggression

(38:31–47:19)

• The Incident: Autumn describes witnessing a man punch another through a car window on a LA street, both men dangerously maneuvering vehicles afterward, and the immediate sense of threat and need for self-preservation.
• Listener Pushback: A listener criticized Autumn for not staying as an eyewitness. Both hosts firmly defend the choice to leave for personal safety.
  • “I’m just not putting myself in that danger.”—Autumn, 42:52
  • “You have people in your life…You feel unsafe, there’s nothing wrong with doing what you need to do to feel more safe.”—Nell, 46:19
• Broader Point: The story is used to illustrate how “everyone's on edge” and minor conflicts are escalating due to widespread fear, anger, and lack of outlets for emotion. Exercise again comes up as their healthy outlet.

6. Phone a Friend: Tackling Stigma of GLP-1 Medications

(49:21–56:17)

• Listener Dilemma: A listener seeks advice about considering GLP-1 medications for weight loss, expressing worry about stigma and perceptions of “cheating.”
• Hosts’ Guidance:
  • Personal Decision: Do what’s best for your health; don’t live by others’ opinions. “You should be proud of that journey no matter what.”—Autumn, 55:37
  • Medical Supervision: Only pursue with a qualified doctor, since these medications affect metabolism, muscle mass, bone density, and more.
  • Evolving Science: Autumn shares up-to-date findings about GLP-1, 2, and emerging 3s, explaining risks and benefits for sustained, healthy weight loss.
  • Transparency: “You don’t have to share if she doesn’t want to tell her friends and family. That is her…But you also should be able to tell friends and family without their judgment.”—Nell/Autumn, 55:23
  • Key Takeaway: “Do you, boo.” —Autumn, 56:19

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Gym Etiquette:
  “I never did get to use the Smith machine today because she was on it for so long.” —Autumn, 04:17

• On Treadmill Space:
  “Why is this girl gotta come and get on the treadmill right next to me?…Why?” —Autumn, 09:53

• On Social Media Boundaries:
  “It was just so good because, it’s okay. We don’t have to be friends. If seeing this upsets me…we literally have no relationship anymore.” —Nell, 32:00

• On Seeking Joy:
  “It’s so nice and I found it so beneficial to intentionally take these moments to just have fun…get lost in a silly dance story from the 80s, go to a daytime dance rave…” —Nell, 24:10

• On Setting Limits:
  “You have to know where the fight is and take it there and know where the fight isn’t.” —Autumn, 37:01

• On Safety & Self-Preservation:
  “I’m just not putting myself in that danger…I don’t know what these two people are doing, but somebody ran across traffic, socked a guy in his face…the other guy went down the wrong lane…Somebody might pull out a weapon.” —Autumn, 42:52

• On Stigma and Health Choices:
  “You should be proud of that journey no matter what, because again, you’re putting in the work. You’re not looking for some quick fix…” —Autumn, 55:37

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Highlighted Timestamps

• 01:33: Gym etiquette debate kicks off
• 09:53: Hilarity and anxiety over crowded cardio machines and the men’s restroom
• 13:17: The yoga/rave morning experience
• 19:20: Movie nostalgia: “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” & dance in film
• 26:14: Shift to navigating the heaviness of world/current events
• 31:20: National division, boundary setting, and unfriending on social media
• 38:31: Autumn’s wild “guy punches driver at red light” story
• 49:21: “Phone a Friend” segment on weight loss meds and stigma
• 55:37: Autumn’s closing advice on health, boundaries, and authenticity

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Final Thoughts

The episode is a true slice of what Everything’s Perfect is about: raw conversation, humor, practical wisdom, and a reminder that embracing imperfection is essential for surviving—and thriving—when it feels like everyone’s lost their minds. Whether it’s gym pet peeves or negotiating hard conversations, the hosts model vulnerability, self-awareness, and compassion for self and others.

Tune in for:

• Honest takes on modern anxieties and joys
• Laugh-out-loud personal stories
• Useful advice on boundaries, mental health, and self-care
• Fresh perspectives on friendship and the messiness of life

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Contact:
Have a question or need advice? Email [e-mail]
Follow on Instagram: @everythingsperfectofficial

Transcript

[Autumn]

Surprise, surprise.

[Nell]

One of the hard scenarios in being a man is when you're in the urinal line and it's like, you're there, there's a guy on your left or a guy on your right, and none of European. And you know, because you can't hear that. You can hear that no pee is coming out and hitting the urinal. And then all of a sudden, I get in my head, like, ah. Because there's a contest if you can get their piss going first. Surprise.

[Autumn]

Hi.

[Nell]

I showed up a little earlier than Autumn was expecting today, except it was.

[Autumn]

The exact time that we talked about.

[Nell]

Right.

[Autumn]

Which is funny because Normally you're about 10 or 15 minutes late, but you were actually so right on time.

[Nell]

I was like, I'm not that late. You got to be this shocked when I show up on time. Her face was literally like. I was like, did I catch you doing something bad?

[Autumn]

No, I was standing there drinking my shake. But I really, like, I don't know, my brain just zoned out because we're going to do a live with our group today. And so I had that time in my brain.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

Is like when we were starting all of this. So in my mind, I had two hours till you were going to be here. I was literally getting ready to go record some stuff for myself. I was thinking I was going to rinse off, like, huh? You said, hey. I'm like, oh, you ready to roll? No, I wasn't, but I whipped it together.

[Nell]

Yeah, you got it together real quick.

[Autumn]

So here I am. Here we are. Okay, I want to talk about something before we get into whatever other topics we're going to talk about.

[Nell]

Okay, lay it on me.

[Autumn]

Gym etiquette.

[Nell]

I love this subject.

[Autumn]

I do, too.

[Nell]

Because people need to know.

[Autumn]

You need to know.

[Nell]

People need to learn.

[Autumn]

You better learn. You can learn today. I'm about to tell you all the things. So obviously, I worked at a gym for years. Then I transitioned into home fitness. So for the most part, I work out at home. Unless I'm traveling and it's, you know, then maybe I'll use the gym or something. But I recently joined the gym. In fact, I went back to Equinox, the one I used to work at. Okay. So I went and worked out at 10am today. And the 10am crowd, not my people, not my crowd.

[Nell]

Why? What's Wrong with the 10am crowd?

[Autumn]

First of all, I'm there to work out. Like, I want to work out. It was packed. You know, we're still in.

[Nell]

See, I like it. Usually people Leave to get ready for work.

[Autumn]

You would think so.

[Nell]

I'm like, 10am is a good slower time at the gym. Not in LA though. Nobody has jobs. I don't know.

[Autumn]

Everybody works from home and like literally. But this was also. These were like the, like I come to work out, but really I'm just looking for a husband crowd kind of thing. And like this one girl, okay, etiquette. You do not use one piece of equipment for 30 plus minutes.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

She was on the Smith machine. I'm not kidding, for over 30 minutes. There was a 10 on each side, like a 10 pound plate. And I'm like, how many times are you gonna squat 20 pounds, grab the freaking barbell, get off the Smith machine. Let people. Like, that's for like heavier weight. Because like I can't load £80 onto my back.

[Nell]

Right.

[Autumn]

Like I can't press a barbell over my head heavy enough for what I could do on the Smith machine.

[Nell]

Right.

[Autumn]

And they're like the other ones, like there were a couple guys rotating between like the. Just the squat racks and anyways, 30 minutes.

[Nell]

And the, the fact that it was just 10 pound plates on each side is so annoying because if you're using 10 pound plates, you don't need a Smith machine.

[Autumn]

No.

[Nell]

Go put the barbell over your Smith machine. If anyone's listening and doesn't know is the one that's like. I don't know how to describe it.

[Autumn]

It's the bar. The barbell is actually on two poles. So like it slides up and down and there's hooks. Right. So if at any point it gets too heavy, you just. It can hook it and it sort.

[Nell]

Of catches it and it helps stabilize slightly. Like I feel more if I don't have someone spotting me. I like to do heavier presses with a Smith machine versus if it was just with a bar.

[Autumn]

Right. In case you.

[Nell]

But 10. And I'm not, I'm not throwing any shade at somebody for using. For squatting 20 pounds or whatever she was doing. But you can do that with some dumbbells or something.

[Autumn]

No, she literally was like 2000 reps later, I was like, if you don't get off. I never did get to use the Smith machine today because she was on it for so long. And then when she moved over to like the leg press, she's like half laying on it again. There's like. And she's like barely moving her leg. And I was just like, huh?

[Nell]

And then you're like, this is why I did out homework.

[Autumn]

This is why I worked out at home for 15 years because people are stupid. Get out of my way. Then I find myself. I talk into this tiny little corner, right? Like, I'm just trying to find my own little place in the gym. And it was a popular hour. There was a lot of trainers on the floors with cl. With their clients. Fine, I get it. I am the person. Like, I'm not looking to be seen. I'm just looking to get my workout in. So, like, tucked into the corner, got my little spot. And there's like four bench press machines. And of course his tool bag needs to come use the one right. Right where I am. Like, I'm literally in the smallest corner. There's three other ones with nobody on it. He could have got on any one of the other three, but he needed to be right on that one. I was like, so I have to move all my. To like another tiny little corner.

[Nell]

I was like, maybe you just thought you were cute and wanted to be close to you.

[Autumn]

I don't. My face says otherwise at the gym. Let me be very clear. Resting, it is not inviting. This is resting. I. This is when I welcome my resting face because everybody tells me I have it. No, I'm headphones in, head down. I did run into one. One guy I've known for literally like 15 years. So great. I said hi to Willie. Oh, my God. H. How are you? Then right back to work.

[Nell]

Yeah, keep it moving, Keep it moving. That's the thing. People don't do that. And they, like. I am so aware of gym etiquette. We, Nell and I often work out in our apartment gym. And Nell will, like, you reserve. There's only two benches in the apartment.

[Autumn]

Okay.

[Nell]

Because you know how apartment gyms are smaller, sort of like some smaller hotel gyms. Well, only two benches. And if he has. And anyways, or this is. I shouldn't be throwing shade at my boyfriend on the podcast. That I hope. But he'll like, like, I. I'll. I would be obsessing if I wasn't using the bench in a move of, like, making it available for someone else because it's a small space. But he's like, well, I come back to that move, but I'm over aware, like, overly aware of making sure that I'm not using things that other people can use if I'm. If I'm not effectively using them or efficiently using them.

[Autumn]

So depends. Because, like, at a, like your guys's gym, if there's nobody else in the gym. Totally, of course. But if there's even one Other person, you need to make it known. Right. By not leaving your stuff on it. Like you can leave your stuff by it that you're, you're working back and forth. I'm all for working in, like letting somebody work in if they need it. And that again is proper gym etiquette. So when I was there the other day, like I was on the lat pull down machine, but I was going between lat pull downs and cable curls. So I finished my lap pull down, I move over to the cable girl curls and a guy walks up, I used to know him and he looks at me and he's like, is it okay? Kind of like mouths. Is it okay? I'm like, yeah, yeah, work in, huh? Great. He does his set. When I finish my cable curls, he gets up, he moves over to do something else. I do my next set, I move over, he steps, I get that gym etiquette.

[Nell]

I love it, it makes me smile. The efficiency of it all.

[Autumn]

Sharing, it's being polite, courteous. Yeah, rerack your frickin weights. Clean up after yourself. The amount of people I was watching, like leave their shit laying around. Like they finish with one thing and they just leave it there.

[Nell]

I know.

[Autumn]

And I'm like, what? Put it away.

[Nell]

I know it's wild. You slobber or like go ahead, wipe your sweat. If you leave something looking like a damn crime scene, gross.

[Autumn]

I don't want your DNA.

[Nell]

Exactly. Give it, give it a wipe, Give.

[Autumn]

It a little wipe down and there's wipes everywhere.

[Nell]

Right?

[Autumn]

Winox, like they've got things everywhere then. And then one other girl, this will be the last thing I say about it. She had on. So like if you want to do certain like leg work on the cable machines, right, you have to put on the ankle attachment. So you put it around and then you can hook the cable on.

[Nell]

Oh no.

[Autumn]

She walked away with things as she's doing things with them back on. And then like 10 minutes later she'd go back over the cable machine. And I'm like, that is. You can't keep them.

[Nell]

Yeah, right.

[Autumn]

They're not yours.

[Nell]

They're, they're an attachment to the machine. Not your ankle, not your ankle.

[Autumn]

Just because in 20 minutes you might want to come back and do something else.

[Nell]

Unless she brought her own.

[Autumn]

I don't think they were because I thought about it for a second, but I'm pretty sure they were the gyms. Yeah, if you bring your own, obviously then of course. Do you. But I get mad and my face.

[Nell]

Starts going near this no, it's so annoying.

[Autumn]

Yeah. So I was just thinking about it today and I was like, people need to learn. Also. Oh, one other thing. Okay. When I'm on like, a piece of cardio equipment, I don't like to be crowded.

[Nell]

Okay?

[Autumn]

So one thing. If the gym is jam packed and all of the treadmills or all of the step machines are taken, but I will go to, like, the furthest end where there isn't anybody, I will make sure that there is, like at least three or four machines between me and somebody else. I just. I don't want to be on top of anybody during cardio. Why am I at the end of the road? There's like 15 treadmills between me and. And the next person. Why is this girl gotta come and get on the treadmill right next to me? I'm like, why?

[Nell]

That is such a good. You know when I experienced that in male restrooms with urinals, I'm like, listen, you pecker checker, there's so many urinals you could choose. Why are you all in my. Yeah, now I'm like, not Kim, pee. The whole show me, they'll show you my show me yours situation. I'm uncomfortable. I don't know what the rules are. Go over there and pee.

[Autumn]

I don't know how you guys do that because I get uncomfortable if there's just another girl in the bathroom in general, like, peeing. Like, it takes a second to, like, release the muscles because, you know, oh, my God. Because people are gonna hear you pee. And I don't know, it's just weird.

[Nell]

Oh, it's hard. I mean, I do. I do believe that it's harder to be a woman than a man. But one of the hard scenarios in being a man is when you're in the urinal line, you're stand there and. And sometimes, let's say it's like an intermission at a musical or something. And so there's a line. So if a urinal opens up, somebody jumps in it, and it's like, you're there, there's a guy on your left or a guy on your right, and none of European. And you know, because you can't hear that. You can hear that no PE is coming out and hitting the urinal. And then all of a sudden I get in my head, like, is this a contest if we can get their piss going first? So I'm just like. So I kind of like close my eyes. I'm like, just relax. You just gotta relax. Don't overthink. It just. Yeah, it's a thing. And it's like, finally somebody starts peeing and then it starts a chain reaction.

[Autumn]

Then everybody's like, okay, it's not my pee that you're hearing first.

[Nell]

Exactly. It's so funny. I don't know, maybe I'm the only one, but if there's any male listeners of the show, I'd love to know if you have any feelings about that because it is, like, so weird if there's a bunch of empty urinals and someone comes and stands next to you. It really is like, what is this?

[Autumn]

Yeah, like what you're looking for a friend.

[Nell]

This is a weird place to make one.

[Autumn]

Not the time or the place. I just realized though now, why guys bathroom lines move so much faster than girls. Because you guys technically have a two for one deal. Because you have all your bathroom stalls. So you probably have the same number of stalls in your bathroom that we have in our bathroom. But then you also probably have at least three or four urinals on the wall as well. Or like, so, yeah, guys can pee on the urine in the urinal, but you can also, like, oh, there's four guys peeing in the urinal, but there's also four stalls. I could go in and pee in there too, if I need to.

[Nell]

Exactly. And peeing as a guy just goes so much faster. Because you don't sit down if you're in a stall. You don't have to, like, wipe the toilet seat.

[Autumn]

Yeah, you don't have to take everything.

[Nell]

Down, pull it all, give mine a shake. Shake, and then piss my pants the.

[Autumn]

Rest of the way.

[Nell]

We've talked about that issue. Still trying to figure out you might.

[Autumn]

Just need to shake it a little longer.

[Nell]

Listen, this is. I know we like to give.

[Autumn]

But.

[Nell]

I think I need to talk to a doctor.

[Autumn]

Like, you need to have your prostate checked.

[Nell]

Yeah, I don't know if it's a prostate thing. It doesn't seem like it would be.

[Autumn]

You're 40, girl.

[Nell]

Don't. I know.

[Autumn]

Let me tell you, these muscles just don't contract the way they used to.

[Nell]

That's. We're going to talk about that on the next episode's Phone a friend.

[Autumn]

No, we really are. We got a good phone. Not this one. We will save them for next one.

[Nell]

But yeah, yeah, if there's other options, at least leave a buffer. If. Whether it's a treadmill, a urinal, whatever it is. Like, you don't have to be so extra and come sit neck literally in. Yeah, that same Spot I'm thinking of, like, if you're at an airport waiting for your flight, and someone comes, sits right next to you, it's one thing if the chair.

[Autumn]

The only chair.

[Nell]

Yeah. It's just an interesting choice. I'm like, I wonder if they're doing a social experiment. Speaking of being on top of each other, y', all, we went to. I. I enjoyed it. We went to a yoga class that turned into a rave in the morning time. And Autumn and I, we were in the least, like, the worst possible spots in the room, literally. Because yoga classes get like that. It's mat to mat. And, like, when I tell you this girl's crusty foot. And it's okay, feet can be crusty sometimes. But was, like, giving me a scalp massage at one point of the class. I was like, oh, this isn't good. But if we backed up, it was literally. The elevator was behind me and the stairs were behind you.

[Autumn]

Listen, I was staring down some girl's birth canal because I thought I was good, because I picked the spot. Like, I was like, okay, everybody's in. Classes started. This is where I'm at. I happen to be in front of the door, unfortunately, but also, like, everybody should be in by now. And there was, like, a little room in front of me, right? This girl, who must have been, like, five nine, decided to come in and take the spot in front of me, which, by the way, there was not. That's the spot that wasn't the length that was left in front of me. So her foot was like. I was like, I'm about to get my nose broken. And then the photographer for the event, huh? Kept going in and out of the door. And so she was, like, stepping over me, and I'm like, pick a spot.

[Nell]

And they had these, like, decorations, like, under the sea. Under the sea. They had, like, jellyfish streamer things hanging everywhere, and they were, like, attacking us.

[Autumn]

Like, literally. I was like, under the sea.

[Nell]

Literally.

[Autumn]

We were being attacked by the jellyfish.

[Nell]

But it was a nice. I enjoyed. I haven't done a yoga class in a long time, but it was very crowded in there.

[Autumn]

I enjoyed it. But, yes, it. Like I told you that day, I was like, oh, it makes me just think, like, when I do a live event, because I want to do them this year. Like, I get it. They're trying to make money. They want to let everybody be included. But you need to know how many mats fit in that studio with a little bit of space between it so that people aren't going to get kicked they're not like. And that is the number you accept.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

And that is the only number you accept, because otherwise it doesn't make it as nice of an experience for somebody because it is like trying not to get kicked. I can't really move. I don't like trying to do the move, but I can't do the move. But it was still fun right up until the rave part, which I, I bought the tickets because it was like, I was watching it and, like, I've been saying, I want to do one of these. And so I was waiting for, like, the really good old School, early 2000s music, which is what they kept showing on their, their Instagram site.

[Nell]

And it wasn't that.

[Autumn]

It was like Bali music. It was like, what's it called? I don't know.

[Nell]

I don't know what it's called. I would call it World Beats. And like, I don't really know what it's called. I did like the music, but it's not. You're a cup of tea. I know that.

[Autumn]

I need lyrics.

[Nell]

Yeah, there are no lyrics.

[Autumn]

There were no lyrics.

[Nell]

But it was, it was the, you know, the thing about the class that was difficult for me before the rave. Is it. There's so much happening. And I, I did think, oh, I could look at this as an opportunity to try to be disciplined, to focus and go in. Even though there's people and photographers and people on the stairs screaming and all, they're like, it was a lot of. There was a lot happening, extra things happening. And then the rave, I, I, I told you afterwards, I was like, I don't know if I'm alcohol dependent, but this kind of dance party. I felt like, okay, I just need a little something more than this bright ass daylight and these people dancing around. And it was also a mix. Okay. I told Autumn, I was like, this is also what my church camps looked like when I was growing up, because they were like waving flags and streamers.

[Autumn]

Around to the music, like, tay in the wind.

[Nell]

But I told, Speaking of Nell, but I, I told Autumn, I was like, we need to immerse ourselves just till 10:30, then we'll go get brunch.

[Autumn]

And he really made me stay till 10:30.

[Nell]

I did. And so at 10, and I told Nell, I was like, we're gonna hang and be a part of this till 10:30, then we'll leave. So it was literally like probably 30 minutes. Well, when we went and said, all right, we're ready to leave, Nell literally said, bye.

[Autumn]

He sure did. Nell said, I'm staying.

[Nell]

I. Autumn was like, what's going on? I was like, I. I think. I think I just got dumped. I'm not sure. I think he just broke up with me.

[Autumn]

Like we're like, yeah, brunch. And he's like, see ya dancing. And he's like, no, I'm.

[Nell]

Goodbye.

[Autumn]

Like, what just happened? Yeah, he sure did stay for like another 45 minutes. He came and met us at brunch.

[Nell]

Yeah. And he loved it. I'm so glad that he did. I know he's a very. The thing is, Nell, if I could speak on his behalf is I. I don't know if I would say the right kind of style, but he loves like lyrical, very the way dancing. He was a dance major and he loves that kind of like expression out of the box. And I just think he was.

[Autumn]

He would have done well at my college. I was a dance major also. And let me tell you, that pissed me off. Like I've told the story about how like in one of my classes they brought us outside once and they were like, okay, pick an object out here and create a dance around it. Like around this tree. And I'm like, what the. Like, I don't dance because there's a tree. I need lyrics. Yeah, drop the beat, please. There's nothing that drives me more crazy than like when they're like playing like rave type music and it's just like. And it's going and it's going. And I'm like, drop the beat.

[Nell]

Yeah, like land, land.

[Autumn]

Somewhere. Because I'm done with this beat.

[Nell]

Yeah, I'm the same way we used to. That's like. We loved going back when. What was it called Flaming Saddles was.

[Autumn]

Open in West Hollywood because they would.

[Nell]

Play all different kinds of music from like Don't Stop Believing Toys or NSYNC or pop or hip hop. And I like that too. It's my favorite. Go out and dance. Speaking of dance, I watched Girls Just Want to have Fun last night with Nell. It was both of our first time seeing it and what a good. Those movies just hit so hard.

[Autumn]

I told you.

[Nell]

I think it is like a coming of age storyline that just so fun to watch. But the dancing, how good was it? Because back. Because I feel like now there's so much that is done with camera angles and things that are. Look really cool with cinematography. But in this movie they had to have phenomenal dancers and they would just keep. They would just in one shot have these, you know, several eight counts of phenomenal dancing where you don't see it like that. Even in, like, dance competition shows, because of camera angles, things can look a lot more impressive or difficult because of how the different angles you're taking.

[Autumn]

Yeah.

[Nell]

And I was just like. And Nell said several times. And he. When it comes to jazz and that kind of dancing knows way more than I do. He was like, these dancers.

[Autumn]

No, they're unbelievable. Like, I'm sure they were the best of the best. Like, because the lifts that they were doing are crazy.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

Like, the one hand he's balancing her and then he like, pushes her and she spirals down and he catches her and she's in a full back bend. And I'm like, jesus, Jesus. My back and forth.

[Nell]

Watch somebody's bendy.

[Autumn]

Yeah. Or like when he lifts up Sarah Jessica Parker and she's in the full back bend with like, her legs staggered. And I'm just like. Or she's like, oh, God. Georgia taste. She's doing Tour de Chate, but she's doing them in a circle, just. And she's like, torgia tay split sha tay towards your day split. And I'm like, get it, girl. And they're all dancing in heels.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

It's so good. And the music is so good.

[Nell]

It was so good. I do wonder who the person was that. Because I don't think those. That was actually Sarah Jessica Parker.

[Autumn]

Probably not all of it, but she was the dancer. So I don't know if she probably had a double for some of it. But I do know she grew up in New York City dancing. Dancing ballet.

[Nell]

Yeah, it was great.

[Autumn]

Yeah.

[Nell]

And then I. Whenever I see movies like this, I'm especially older ones, I'm like, where are they now? And the co star, I think is name was Lee Montgomery, like, stopped acting.

[Autumn]

Oh, really?

[Nell]

Very shortly after that. He was a child star and worked into like that, the 80s. And then just stop acting. I don't even know what's happening now.

[Autumn]

Well, wait till you watch because you have a laundry list of movies from the 80s you have to watch. Shutting. You have to watch Can't Buy Me Love, which I don't think you've watched yet with Patrick Dempsey.

[Nell]

I don't think so.

[Autumn]

Okay, so good. And the girl that starred in that, like, she was like the beautiful cheerleader. It was like one of the only movies she did quit acting after that. Even again. Even though. And then got addicted to drugs and died of an overdose.

[Nell]

So sad. It's so sad when you hear those Hollywood stories.

[Autumn]

Yeah.

[Nell]

Is. Is girls just want to have fun? Is that where Tune in Tokyo came from.

[Autumn]

I don't know if it. I don't know.

[Nell]

I've seen, like, heard people say it.

[Autumn]

I mean, Tune in Tokyo was, like, a funny thing that people would do in the 80s, but I. So, I don't know. I think it was an 80s thing and that they put it in the movie.

[Nell]

Yeah. He's like, you want to play a game? It's called.

[Autumn]

And the only way to contact him is the shortwave radio.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

I mean, the 80s movies really have some inappropriate stuff in them that you're like, oh, my gosh, you would never get away with that. That's a soul.

[Nell]

Right. There's just something about those movies that I really do love. So I'm gonna keep. I'll keep reporting back as I. I'm.

[Autumn]

Glad you liked it, though.

[Nell]

Each one. It was really good, and it's been nice because, you know, we talked about. Well, you and I have been talking a lot about just, like, all the heaviness that's happening right now.

[Autumn]

Yeah.

[Nell]

And it leaves me. I find it leaves me feeling almost like. I don't know, like, paralyzed to do anything, you know, and it's for so many reasons. And so it's so nice. And I found it so beneficial to intentionally take these moments to just have fun, get lost in a silly dance story from the 80s, go to a daytime dance rave and.

[Autumn]

Yeah. Because it's not turning a blind eye to what's going on. Very aware of it, obviously. Immersed in it. Like. Like I said, you and I are having the conversations all the time, but it's also recognizing that, like, you still have to pull yourself out of it a little bit or. And do something.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

To lighten the mood. To bring a little happiness. To bring a little bit of fun. Not because you're brushing over what's going on, but because it's the only way to not get, like, stuck in the quicksand of it all.

[Nell]

Yeah, absolutely. The. I've heard this before from one of the pastors at my church, and she got it from someone else, but she. I first heard it from her, and she reminded again on Sunday, us that the. Well of, like, sadness or anger or that whatever those feelings are that you feel grief is the same. Well. That we pull our joy and happiness from. And you can only experience one to the depth that you can experience the other. And so I think, for me, what. I'm just trying to remind myself, and I just wanted to make mention of it without. And this applies to literally every. I think every person on the planet right now. Because there's heavy heaviness.

[Autumn]

Yeah.

[Nell]

Even if you aren't in the States and dealing with some. A lot of the unrest that's happening in the United States, there are things happening all over the world. And even just like watching how people like the weather, man.

[Autumn]

Oh my God. Right?

[Nell]

Like what, it rains, it snows. Yeah. Trees start exploding.

[Autumn]

It feels apocalyptic a little bit.

[Nell]

It's such a good reminder that yes. While all that's happening and damn that well is deep with struggle to intentionally. Intentionally have. Find the joy.

[Autumn]

Yeah. Pull the joy out too.

[Nell]

Exactly. And look for signs of life around you. Because when. Cause you get in that state, like, oh, everything's so negative. So it's been really important to me to be intentional and find things to bring joy when what's just in front of my face feels more negative, you know?

[Autumn]

Yeah. And I do think like, okay, so like what are some things that you're doing? I know, Obviously you just said 80s movies, us going to the rave.

[Nell]

Like, yeah.

[Autumn]

Do you have anything daily that you're just like, okay, this is my moment of like this is my little sanctuary moment.

[Nell]

Well, you know, I'm sort of actually in a phase. I. And this has happened to me like two other times in my adult life with social media where I get like so down the rabbit hole of all the negativity and I feel this responsibility to. To look at it because I think just because something isn't happening to me, I still have a responsibility as like a fellow citizen of the world to understand the pain that people are feeling. And so for me, the first step is realizing that it is okay to protect my mental health and well being and stop looking at some point like it's not like you said, it's not turning a blind eye. So the first thing is just setting boundaries around that. And then I've just been looking for a lot of universal like things that would make everyone laugh or things like everyone would love. Unless you are a real. You love a video of a cute puppy dog or some like that.

[Autumn]

Right.

[Nell]

You know what I mean? I really am just intentionally opening my eyes to those kinds of moments. And so that usually is coming from like what I'm watching on. If we're watching something on tv, making sure it's something that's bright and fun like that. That. Or if I'm looking at my phone that I'm not telling the algorithm. Yeah. Keep showing me all the doomsday.

[Autumn]

Right? Yeah.

[Nell]

You know.

[Autumn]

Yes.

[Nell]

What's stuff that you do at times that, like, you know, the heaviness is just so heavy and you need to get away from it.

[Autumn]

I mean, like you said, like, the biggest thing is, like, making sure I'm staying aware but not making sure it's consuming me. And it's the only thing I'm aware of. Because there's. There's always two sides of the coin. For as much bad as there is, there's always going to be something good that you could find in the day, too. So, like, just like, I'm. It's so silly. But, like, my workout is. That's like my sanctuary time. That is my mental health time. Like, that is my put the music on. And sometimes the music is, like, hard and rock, and sometimes it's Eminem, and sometimes it's old school hip hop. It's just whatever's never techno. It's never. Unless you want to make me rage. Yeah, that will. That'll real escalate real quickly. So my workouts are my place. You know, it's. It's little moments of putting the phone down and just checking in with Dom for the day. Like, hey, buddy, how's your day going? What's going on with you? Like, last night, because my nephew's still in town. Because speaking of the bad weather. Oh, he's. Well, because he was gonna go back to Texas on Monday. He came in town for Dom's birthday, but then Texas iced over. So even though, like, he could fly back home, nobody could drive, so nobody would have been able to pick him up from the airport.

[Nell]

Right.

[Autumn]

You have to have, like, chains on your tires.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

So. And then because of all the flights that got backed up and everything. So anyways, he goes back tomorrow. But, like, they were going to the gym, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna make them dinner. Like, they wanted pasta with meat sauce, and I pulled out, like, my wild grain frozen ciabatta bread and made that. And so we all, like, just sat down, put our phones down, we had dinner, we talked about. We played a card game, an Italian card game, scopa. So it's just like little things like that where it's like leaning into moments with your family or your friends, you know, you got. You and Nell were amazing and came to Dom's baptism the other night, and then we got to go out to dinner.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

And it's just having those little moments.

[Nell]

Yeah, that's.

[Autumn]

Those are the things I'm doing, is I'm being really intentional about strengthening the bonds, I guess, in my life.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

Reaching out to friends. You want to go for a coffee. You want to take a walk? Bring the baby over. Let's go in the pool. Like, what are you guys doing? Let's grab dinner.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

Because otherwise I'll get real dark real fast.

[Nell]

Totally. Another. Another thing for me, I have been reminded that even with most people that I see, I probably agree with more. I probably agree with them about more than I disagree with them on. And I was just. I think that right now there, no matter where someone might land politically or on different issues, there just seems to be this massive divide where before it was like, well, I think this. Well, I think this. But you could sort of reach across and shake hands. Seems like that's impossible right now.

[Autumn]

Referencing us as the United States. I feel like we should just call ourselves the states.

[Nell]

Yeah. States of. States of panic. Yeah.

[Autumn]

Yeah. What level are you at?

[Nell]

States of Holy But.

[Autumn]

Or what the.

[Nell]

But I. And I too, like. So I'm also just trying to really see people in a kinder light. That doesn't mean there's not. I also did have a. And this was good for my mental health. I had a little unfollow unfriend moment on my Facebook, which has a lot of people from my childhood, people I've known for years.

[Autumn]

You were unfriending people or. Okay.

[Nell]

And it was just so good because it's like, it's okay. We don't have to be friends. And if seeing this upsets me, like, what? We literally have no relationship anymore. And the only reason that you maintain some of these connections is because of what was. Well, okay. What? We went to youth group in church when we were 15. I mean, 40 now we have. We have different lives. We're different people. And it just doesn't serve me to keep that connection. So that was really good for me. But on the flip side, I was thinking. And I just am sharing this story in case it helps anyone and then we can move on from that. But I. When I went to a retreat that I went to a while back for thing, there was.

[Autumn]

That was the least descriptive thing you've ever said.

[Nell]

It was the first like small make retreat that I went on.

[Autumn]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nell]

And Nell and I were the only guys there.

[Autumn]

Okay.

[Nell]

And I immediately felt this. This guard come up. Like I thought that maybe there. There were a lot of women there who didn't. Who would have rathered us not be there. And maybe they.

[Autumn]

Because you're gay.

[Nell]

So that was.

[Autumn]

Or because you're guys.

[Nell]

The first thing was because we're guys.

[Autumn]

Okay.

[Nell]

And then it Was like, I don't even know if these women like gay guys. Like, there's a lot of, like, were.

[Autumn]

You all in the same house or something? And that's.

[Nell]

Yeah, we were all the same house.

[Autumn]

Okay.

[Nell]

But the point is, I was deciding things about. And I literally had. There are two individuals who, in my mind, on some level, I was like, they probably are not supportive of gay people. And when I tell you those two are actually like, the ones I'd never met before that now I am really love seeing and am closer to and. And one of them, like, we even saw for Nell's birthday and everything. And it's like, wow, I set myself up. I'm in that moment. I was creating a divide.

[Autumn]

Right. You were assuming the words didn't exist.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

Yeah.

[Nell]

And it's sort of like reminding myself to be generous and understand that even. Even if we think it's different ways, everyone wants the best for society, like, the best outcome. Not everyone. Okay. Not everyone. But I'm trying to. I'm trying to reframe my thinking.

[Autumn]

Yeah.

[Nell]

Okay. I'm saying, like, if someone. Okay, I don't. This isn't to defend or not the issue, but the issue that everything that's happening with ICE I feel very, very passionately about.

[Autumn]

Right.

[Nell]

I have to understand that someone who doesn't feel the same way of, though doesn't see it the same. They really believe that ICE is arresting and detaining and deporting very serious criminals and making the streets a safer place. I don't believe that. If I believed that, then I would agree with the person. So that makes me feel a little bit more like, well, we can connect as humans and at least see, like, where are. Why we have different information that we believe. But it's. We still. It's not like one person's like, well, it's not like they just hate those people. You know what I'm saying?

[Autumn]

Yes, I do. And I. I know exactly where you're coming from. And I get. No, I give you a lot of credit. Like, I know you got the look on your face right now, but I'm like. Because I'm very passionate about it, too, in the same direction that you are of, like, certain things are just wrong.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

And so I have a much harder time, I think, when I see people saying things that are like, well, I don't feel bad that this person got shot. And I'm like, what? Yeah, okay.

[Nell]

Those are the unfriend, unfollow blocks.

[Autumn]

Like, I just need to not see it. Because here's what I do know. Getting in. Like, there are certain people that you can have an open discussion and disagree and hear each other out and maybe each learn more from each other. And I think that's a little bit of what you're referencing.

[Nell]

Yes.

[Autumn]

And then there are certain people that you're not going to be able to have an open dialogue with. You're not going to be able to agree to disagree. And in those moments, you have to choose your p. Like, well, you have to choose. Like, some people are like, absolutely, I'm going to fight it out with them. And I'm like, okay, well, you can't argue stupid. But whatever. Yeah, but. No, but in all. But, like, like, sometimes you're just. You might as well stand there and argue with a wall.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

And that would be the same on both sides because, like, you're gonna argue with somebody and, like, you're. You guys are never going to see eye to eye. You're never going to be able to agree to disagree. So you're really just arguing and getting yourself worked up in a fight that nobody's ever going to win.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

So it is being aware of all of it, I guess, of like you said, like, there are certain things you just have to block, delete, unfollow, don't engage, because it's not going to get you anywhere. And I'm not saying don't. Don't fight for what you believe in. I'm just saying you got to know where the fight is and take it there and know where the fight isn't.

[Nell]

That's really good.

[Autumn]

And don't take it there because it's a waste of your time and energy.

[Nell]

Yeah. Right. And like, I have. There are some people in my life who have different feelings than I do about things that matter a lot to me, but I still want them to be a part of my life.

[Autumn]

Yeah.

[Nell]

And so I just set a boundary.

[Autumn]

You just said then.

[Nell]

And they.

[Autumn]

Yeah.

[Nell]

And if they crossed it, that would be a problem.

[Autumn]

Yes.

[Nell]

Because it will affect our relationship. But I just, I. Like, this is something that we can't talk about.

[Autumn]

Right.

[Nell]

And if for some reason at some point you feel that we need to have the conversation, we need to, like, level head. It can't be a conversation we fall into.

[Autumn]

Right.

[Nell]

Because it'll be like, yeah, we're both so passionate.

[Autumn]

Yeah.

[Nell]

You know, But I know that we have love for each other. And so I just think, I guess what I'm trying to do and what I. I think the world will be A better place no matter what. If we all just even 10% try to lean in to loving one another more.

[Autumn]

Right? Lean into the love, lean into the good.

[Nell]

Because it's easy to lean into the.

[Autumn]

So easy to lean into the hate.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

Okay, so speaking of, I had something crazy happen the other day and I want to tell you what it was. And then I also want to tell you what somebody messaged me about it.

[Nell]

Okay.

[Autumn]

And I. And I want to sort of hear your opinion. Okay. So I go to Pilates. Was this yesterday? Two days ago, go to Pilates. So I'm kind of over like by you. I was like North Hollywood, like right across from sort of like Universal Studios. Okay. So I come out of Pilates, I come up to the light, I'm at a stoplight. So there is a left hand turn lane, there's two lanes that go straight and there's a right hand turn lane. Okay. And there is an in and out burger on the right hand side. So I'm stopped, We're out of red light and I'm in the far right lane that's going straight. So not the right turn lane.

[Nell]

Okay?

[Autumn]

Okay. So I stop and all of a sudden this guy comes running in front of my car. And before I stopped, I had let a van or a truck pull out of the in and out parking lot, go across my lane, another lane, and he goes into the left turn lane, but it's a red light. So he stopped at the light. This guy comes running in front of my car like he's at a sprint and he's. I could tell he's chasing this truck. Runs up to the truck, runs around the side of it. I guess the guy had his window down, reaches through and just decks the guy and I'm like, I'm sitting there and now my mind is going a million miles a minute because the world is a crazy place. We're stuck at a red light and you just don't know, like you just don't know when somebody's going to pull a gun and start firing.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

And I am in the line because now he's. He reaches around, he decks the guy through the window and then he kind of just starts trotting back towards where his car van was and then in an out party lot. So again he goes right in front of my car. So my first thought is like, if this guy in the van or in the truck starts firing at him, oh my God, I'm in the line and I'm trying to figure out, like, can I move My car.

[Nell]

Am I stuck here?

[Autumn]

Yeah, because again, I've got cars in front of me and behind me. So like I maybe could move to the right hand turn lane and kind of get. But as fast as that is happening, as the guy is running back, the guy that got punched in the truck, throws his car in reverse, backs up a little bit, pulls forward. Mind you, we're at a red light, turns right, turns in front of the two lanes of stop traffic, and comes down the wrong direction in the right hand turn lane. So if there was a car coming up into the right hand turn lane, would have been a head on collision beside. Yes, he's coming down the right hand turn lane, but the wrong way.

[Nell]

Oh my God.

[Autumn]

And I look in my rear view and the guy that punched him is standing there, he had like a big work van and there's another guy that must have been in the work van with him now standing outside of it with a fucking shovel in his hand. And I am like, oh my God, this light can't turn red fast enough now because now the right hand lane is complete. Like you can't even get over because he's got his truck there, that light turned and like so many thoughts were going through my head, like, but it happened quick. We're talking like 30 seconds, maybe 60. So like I thought, like, should I pull my phone out and be recording this? Like not to be, not to be like a Looky Lou, but like, who.

[Nell]

Knows what's gonna happen? Yeah, yeah, video evident and.

[Autumn]

But like, it all happened too fast because I didn't really realize that he was gonna romp up, sock the guy in the face. And so anyways, I. The light turns, I go, I'm like, get me the out of here. And I got home and I said something about it on social. I was just like, God, the world is crazy. Like, I don't know what happen the parking lot beforehand, but I all like, what possesses you to run in front of three lanes of traffic, reach through the guy's window and punch him? And then what possesses this guy to drive the wrong way down the road?

[Nell]

Like, what did someone say?

[Autumn]

So somebody messages me and basically told me I was wrong for leaving. I should have stopped and been an eyewitness because it probably needed to be reported. And I'm like, I understand what they were saying. But no, I don't think, I'm sorry. Like, I know it's crazy and I know that is like a thing. And had I seen something on the news or something, if something really bad would have happened.

[Nell]

You would have called.

[Autumn]

I would have called, but I was like, I'm not sticking around for that.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

Because I mean, like, okay, the thing with Alex Preddy just happened. And now I know that's a much more exaggerated circumstance, but, like, I. I'm just not putting myself in that danger. I don't know what these two people are doing. I don't know what they're fighting about, but like, somebody ran across traffic, socked a guy in his face. The other guy went down the wrong lane. Yeah. Somebody might pull out a weapon. It could get very violent.

[Nell]

I don't think that that scenario is something. First of all, you. You missed the first punch. So what are you supposed to do? Like. Like there's no way you could have pulled your phone out in time to know that that was gonna happen.

[Autumn]

Right.

[Nell]

And so then what are you gonna do? Not drive in the middle of the road. Yeah. Traffic. And film them. You had absolutely no obligation.

[Autumn]

I saw it.

[Nell]

I. I have been telling myself to be prepared in other scenarios. Like just any that. That's just that I think could be injustice to. To even like if someone's being a Karen at a fast food place. Like those videos you see sometimes. It's like that video footage is a tool that we have now that we didn't have a long time ago. And it's actually really good for a lot of things.

[Autumn]

Of course, it does end up helping.

[Nell]

Story, but that did not need to be felt. But you want to hear what's so funny? One time I was speaking of punching people. I was driving with my. My friend Charlie, you know Charlie. And we were driving in West Hollywood. He. The. And people were like, jaywalking. And if you are listening and you're not familiar with the Santa Monica Boulevard, it's a very dangerous place to cross if you're not at a crosswalk. Right. And these people were doing it. And Charlie honked his horn and yelled out his window. You should use the crosswalk. And then the guy.

[Autumn]

Wait a minute. I love Charlie to death. And Charlie and I are two peas in a pod.

[Nell]

So he.

[Autumn]

I guarantee he didn't yell that out nicely.

[Nell]

He. He probably like, dude, the crosswalk, dumbass. Or something like that.

[Autumn]

Probably very sarcastic like, but whatevs.

[Nell]

So then not wrong. The guy's coming up to the car on my side. I'm just sitting in the passenger seat, literally minding my own business. Nice. Donald Meek and mild, just harming a fly. Charlie rolls down my window, and the guy reaches in and punches me in the Face. I was like. And I was like. I literally just, like, dropped my phone and tried to hide my face. And I had a black eye the next day.

[Autumn]

I was like, I can't believe Charlie rolled down your window. What an asshole.

[Nell]

I was so mad about that.

[Autumn]

Like, don't roll down a window, period. Charlie, Right.

[Nell]

Like, he should have done what you did. Just drove. Yeah. No, he rolled it down, put me in harm's way. So I don't know what it is, but this punching people through a window just seems crazy. Why are you so mad?

[Autumn]

Yeah. First of all, you're assuming the window's down.

[Nell]

I am curious why that guy ran across and punched.

[Autumn]

I don't know. Like, obvious. Like, I don't know. Like, did he get in your way in the driving? Were you fighting over a parking spot? Did he yells? Like, I have no idea. Like, I don't know what. What that was, but it's wild. It was so wild. And for. Yeah. It was one of those things, though, where I did have a moment of, like, gosh, should I be paying attention to what this is in case there needs to be an eyewitness? And I was like, it's not me today.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

I'm sorry.

[Nell]

I also think it's important that people do continue to realize that be feeling safe is both a luxury and a privilege, but it is a priority. And you have people in your life. You have children, you have things. Like, if you're in a situation, you feel unsafe. It is. There's nothing wrong with doing what you need to do to feel more safe. And I think that the right people, you know, you'll know in every situation what the call is. But if I was in your situation, I would have done the exact same thing.

[Autumn]

Yeah. That was not one where it made sense for me to pull over or to try to stick around and be a witness. Like, then you could say the same thing for all the cars that were sitting there, and we would have just completely stopped traffic. I'm sure there were more people in the parking lot that probably knew. Knew and saw more.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

Than what I caught in that second that I pulled up to the red light. But it was crazy. And it just. It just sort of frustrated me again with the world that we're living in. I'm like, why? Why do we need to ask? Had to all like, over. Like, let's be like that. Oh, over. God only knows what. But it couldn't have been that big of a deal. That's all I could say.

[Nell]

Exactly. It's in and Out.

[Autumn]

It's in and out. Like it's a part. Like, did he run you over?

[Nell]

Right.

[Autumn]

No. Okay, then can we just have a little understanding? And I think that's a little bit of what's going on in the world right now too, is that everybody is so on edge and everybody is so sort of in an uproar, like, almost like ready to fight.

[Nell]

Yeah. Fight or flight is real. Yeah.

[Autumn]

And so it's the smallest little thing setting everybody off because maybe they are scared of what's going on or. Or they are mad and upset about what's going on and they don't have an outlet for their anger with what's going on. Like, that's a big deal. There is so much feeling right now, like so many feelings coming up with what is going on that like, you do need an outlet it. One way or the other to get it out there. Like, again, that's for me, that's my workout.

[Nell]

I posted in our group that we have right now. Yesterday I was like, we. Sometimes we start these like, challenges or workout programs because of where we want to be in a month or two months or six months. But it's a really important thing to remember that working out actually has immediate results and benefits, like measurable, factual health benefits. It's not like people are making up their quote, workout high or, oh, it helps my mood. It literally is proven. It literally. It helps block pain receptors in your brain. Like, there's so much benefit to working out. Same for me if, if, if I couldn't work out regularly right now, I don't know what I do. I would internally combust. Literally.

[Autumn]

Like, yeah, there's. I'd be like, I gotta move my arms. Like, something would need to happen to get the energy out. Speaking of exercise, I know we have a phone a friend. It's not quite about exercise, but do you want to read the phone a friend? And we will, we will wrap it up.

[Nell]

So I'll just paraphrase because it. We don't need to read the whole email, but it says I'm reaching out because I could really use some perspective and support in this area. I've been doing a lot of work on my health and I do feel proud of the progress I've made so far. At the same time, I'm at a point where I feel like I could use some extra support and I've been Learning more about GLP1 medicine. Medications as a possible option. What's holding me back is, isn't just the medical side, it's the Emotional part I worry about. Friends or family might think if they knew. I don't want it to feel like I'm, quote, cheating or taking an easy way out, especially when I've already been putting in so much effort. I want to feel proud of my journey, not like I have to hide parts of it. I'm not looking for a quick fix. I'm not even sure this is the right path yet. I just want to make an informed decision and would basically like us to weigh in on what she should do.

[Autumn]

I love that question, actually, because I think that's a. A lot a thing a lot of people are probably feeling these days just because GLP ones. Well, GLPs, I'll just say because there's GLP one, S, twos, threes. They're. They've become so readily available that I think a lot of people want to use them. A lot of people don't know that much behind them and feel that same pressure of, like, is it going to be deemed that I cheated?

[Nell]

Right.

[Autumn]

I took the easy way out if I use it.

[Nell]

You know, I was thinking today, the analogy, like, if you have. This is me and my analogies, man. If you have a house plant, you have to water the house plant. So for me, if I'm a house plant, my. The water that I'm getting is my intentional movement, working out, whatever that looks like for me, my doing what I can to inform myself and learn about eating healthy and how my body responds to different types of food and being intentional. There. That is the base, and that is always the base. That's what I would always advise someone. But when you get a house plant, you can also get those little helpful blended packets that you add to the water. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And, and I think also as someone, like, we both share supplements and things that we use that we love. And even I, it would be hypocritical for me to say, no, you can only add to your base support of nutrition and working out what I say or what I share, but not this.

[Autumn]

Right?

[Nell]

And so I would say, I always say, like, when I work with clients, the first thing you need to ask yourself is why you want to do something. Not if doing it is bad, but why do you want to do it? And if that checks the boxes, if you're not, like, having some issue, like problem that you would want to talk to a therapist or something about, then I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I think that I've No, I've personally have known people who are using GLP1s and such and they've had amazing results and it's really helped the quality of their life.

[Autumn]

Yeah. I would say this. So there's a couple like, like what you said, like water, water and sunlight. So yes, you're. Yes. And, and the person said they're already exercising, they're already eating right, they've made some good progress. So you are putting in the work. I think that that's fantastic. There are people who need a little extra support. I do think anytime you're going to use a medication, it needs to be done with the supervision of a doctor and a doctor that knows and understands it. Right. Like, so that you're getting the right dosage, you're using it the right way. Like you need to know, like GLP1s, those are, they impact your blood sugar. So you don't want some crazy. Like you don't want to just be randomly getting it and not knowing what your blood sugar does and what your insulin does. And then you dose yourself too much and you have a blood sugar drop.

[Nell]

Right.

[Autumn]

You don't want to drop weight too fast. You want to make sure that you're losing the right kind of weight. So you don't want to be losing bone density or muscle mass. You want to be losing body fat.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

So I just learned more and more. Like I'm always looking and researching. But I was talking with Dr. Gladden. We did. I co hosted his podcast a few weeks ago and it was all on GLPs. And we were talking about a GLP 1 and 2 and 3 and he was saying, you know, GLP 3s are still in sort of like the final testing phages phases, but he thinks those are going to be the ones that people end up actually going to the most. Because a GLP one, I'm going to paraphrase, sort of what I learned from him was, is like it actually slows down your energy expenditure. So yes, you will lose weight, but it's going to sort of slow down your metabolism. And what they are finding on the GLP1 is, is the majority of weight being lost is muscle mass and bone density, which is not good.

[Nell]

No bueno.

[Autumn]

No bueno. So again, if you're on one of those, you really need to make sure you're eating right. You're getting enough of all of your macronutrients, not just your protein, but your protein, your fiber, your carbs, your healthy fats. You need all of those for hormone function too. And that you're getting in your strength training. So you keep up the bone density and the muscle mass. GLP2s they are finding are more like neutral in terms of not like slowing down. They're not speeding up but they're not slowing down. Not quite as much muscle mass loss and bone density loss. So a little bit more fat loss. But what they're finding with the GLP3s is that people are maintaining their muscle mass and their bone density the best. So they're really losing fat majority of it. And it's actually speeding up their metabolism.

[Nell]

Wow.

[Autumn]

But you still need to be careful, make sure you're getting in your nutrients because again, the goal is not to be on those things for life. They're to get the little boost that you need to maybe get over the hump and then come off of them. So you need to know how to come off of them too. Because it is. If it's suppressing your appetite and then you come off of it and all of a sudden your hunger hormone surge, you don't need to go on a binge cycle.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

So I just think that having a full picture of it is always a good idea. But what I don't think you should do is worry about other people's opinions.

[Nell]

I was about to say the same thing. Your. It is your. And also you don't have to share if. If she doesn't want to tell her friends and family. That is her. It's called hipaa.

[Autumn]

But you also should be able to tell friends and family without their judgment.

[Nell]

Right.

[Autumn]

Like you're putting in the work. You're doing what you want to. If you do it properly with the help of your doctor, that's nobody else's business but yours. And you should be proud of that journey no matter what. Because again, you're putting in the work. You're not looking for some quick fix, cheap trick, whatever.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

You're. You're doing what you need to for your health. And there can be a lot of benefits to it for somebody that is struggling. I know they've talked about. About micro dosing for women in perimenopause and menopause and the benefits. So there's a lot emerging.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Autumn]

I just don't think anybody should ever do or not do because of somebody else's opinion.

[Nell]

100.

[Autumn]

That would be my advice.

[Nell]

Do you? Do you?

[Autumn]

Do you? Boo.

[Nell]

You guys. I hope that you've enjoyed today's episode.

[Autumn]

Yeah, I did.

[Nell]

I've loved the conversation. I hope you found some value in it and we love getting your phone of friends. We love connecting with you all more. We have some in queue, so if you haven't heard yours yet, stay tuned. It could be coming up and if you would like to hear our advice on anything, hit us up. You can email [e-mail].

[Autumn]

Make sure you follow us on social Everything's perfect Official on Instagram. I say it all the time. One day maybe we'll get on the tick tock.

[Nell]

Yeah, don't.

[Autumn]

I mean, probably.

[Nell]

Maybe.

[Autumn]

Probably. Maybe not.

[Nell]

But yeah, we'll see.

[Autumn]

What we will see is you guys next week for another episode of Everything's Perfect.

[Nell]

That's right.

[Autumn]

Bye.

[Nell]

When I notice I just realign Crying.