Everything’s Perfect…Except I’m Broke from Tipping Everyone

Summary

Everything’s Perfect…Except I’m Broke from Tipping Everyone
Everything’s Perfect podcast with Autumn Calabrese and Donald Stamper (aka Sarah and Nell)
Episode Date: November 11, 2025

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Episode Overview

This funny, honest episode dives deeply into the messy etiquette, emotions, and pressures surrounding tipping—especially during the holidays. Autumn (Sarah) and Donald (Nell) share their frustrations about “tip creep,” swap stories from years of working in the service industry, and break down who deserves a tip (and when), how much is right, and when it all feels like too much. Peppered with relatable anecdotes and candid confessions, the episode offers a fresh, practical take on generosity, gratitude, and the realities of modern tipping culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Overflowing Holiday Season and Content Creator Envy

• Early Christmas Content Fatigue

  • Frustration with seeing Christmas reels and decor in October, feeling pressured to skip over Thanksgiving and rush into Christmas for online content.
    • Sarah: “Do I have to bust out all my Christmas decor and start filming Christmas recipes? Because I’m trying to put Thanksgiving stuff out.” (02:14)
    • Nell: “I like Thanksgiving because it ushers in that… Christmas holiday spirit… growing up, we always drew names on Thanksgiving of our gift exchange for Christmas.” (11:15)
  • Acknowledgement of clever creators who make Instagram content look effortless (“I’m really just bitter that mine doesn’t work that way.” — Sarah, 05:06).

• Nostalgia for Slower Holidays

  • Stories about family traditions (post-Thanksgiving Black Friday, shopping in Cleveland, waiting until after Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas).
  • Mutual appreciation for Thanksgiving being about gratitude, not gifts:
    • Sarah: “It’s not about gifts. It’s not stressful… just come together. What are you thankful for?” (09:31)

2. Black Friday, Marketing, and Sales Naming Fatigue

• Black Friday “Deals” Starting Early
  • Discomfort with stores and brands marketing “Black Friday” sales weeks ahead of the holiday.
    • Sarah: “Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving… Just call it a sale.” (12:43)
  • The reality that retail brands earn a high percentage of their sales during the Black Friday-Cyber Monday window, prompting them to start earlier.
    • Sarah: “I think I read that her company does 40% of their total yearly sales on… Black Friday-Cyber Monday weekend.” (14:39)

3. Core Topic: Tipping Culture—Old Rules vs. New Realities

• Service Industry Background

  • Both hosts worked in restaurants/serving (“worked in the service industry half of my life”—Sarah, 15:40) and empathize with tipped employees, but see tipping culture as muddier than ever.

• Tipping as Essential Income for Service Workers

  • Explains how servers’ hourly pay is negligible; tips are their main income.
    • Sarah: “You got paid $2.15 an hour, which basically meant nothing… So you were only getting your tips.” (16:31)
    • Discussion of tip-outs: servers must tip out hosts, bussers, bar, sometimes leaving only half their total after tip-out.
      • Nell: “If you tip 20 percent, the server… is only getting 10 percent.” (20:17)

• The Gray Area: When, Who, and How Much Is Right?

  • Automatic Gratuities

    • Experiences with restaurants (especially in LA) that add 18%+ gratuity to checks, even for small parties, ensuring staff aren't stiffed by international guests or those unaware of tipping norms.

  • Tip Creep & Tip Pressure

    • Frustration with touch-screen tip prompts everywhere: coffee shops, to-go counters, bottle service at venues—where staff are often paid a regular wage.
      • Nell: “They just didn’t do anything… I still left a tip because that… I’m so bad about when that option’s there.” (30:02)
    • Agree that 20% is the minimum for full service, but don’t feel obligated for to-go/counter staff.

  • Delivery & Takeout

    • Food delivery services: tip based on distance, not just percentage.
      • Sarah: “If I order a steak dinner… I’m not tipping you $40… I do think about their gas money and their time.” (34:24)
    • Grocery delivery: frustration that tips are prompted before service quality is known; wish it could be edited post-delivery.

  • Other Service Professions

    • Hair salons: confusion over tipping multiple assistants; don’t tip owners.
      • Sarah: “If your hairdresser owns the salon, you’re not supposed to tip them.” (43:41)
    • Bartenders: always tip 20% (not just $1/drink), especially as drink prices have risen.
      • Nell: “Most people just think… $1 is enough, but it’s not.” (41:01)
    • Valets: $5 is standard.
    • Housekeepers (at hotels): often forgotten but considered necessary, more per day than per stay.
    • Bellhops: per bag or a flat $20 if bringing multiple bags.

  • Tipping vs. Direct Pay / Bonus

    • For house cleaners/contractors paid directly at a set rate, tipping isn’t necessary, though holiday bonuses are nice.
      • Sarah: “She gets holiday bonus, things like that, little things throughout the year.” (49:21)
    • Caution against companies charging high cleaning rates and then requesting additional tips (“I felt like I got bent over... For the price that they charged, and then… tip three women on top of that?” — 49:37)

  • Holiday Tipping & Gifting

    • Feel pressure to tip/gift everyone during holidays: hairdressers, teachers, mail carriers, etc.
      • Sarah: “By the time you just get through the taking care of the people that help take care of you at home, you’re like, okay, that was a lot.” (57:10)
    • Agree that big holiday gifts for every service provider is appreciated but not expected—don’t feel guilty if you can’t do everything (“I think it’s always appreciated, but it’s never expected.” — Sarah, 59:21).

  • International Differences

    • Express envy for Europe’s non-tipping culture; fair wages mean tipping is unnecessary and even odd.
      • Sarah: “They just pay their damn employees… servers are nice… they kind of look at you crazy if you tip them.” (53:12)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Creative Fatigue:

  • Sarah: “It really just pisses me off that I suck at it. If I’m being totally honest. Trigger is me.” (03:37)
  • Nell: “That’s not my journey, honey. I’m here to admire that, not to create that.” (05:21)

• On Giving Flowers (Instead of ‘Props’):

  • Sarah: “You’re not supposed to say props anymore. You say give flowers… I got to give flowers where flowers are due.” (02:25)

• On Restaurant Tipping Reality:

  • Nell: “If you can afford to sit there at that restaurant, you can afford to tip 20.” (21:21)
  • Sarah: “If you can’t afford to tip the person, then order differently. Order differently. Or go to a different restaurant.” (22:23)

• On Tip Creep:

  • Sarah: “It feels like everywhere you go, everybody’s got their hand out for a tip.” (29:31)

• On Tipping Counter Service:

  • Nell: “This is an opportunity for complete generosity. Yes, I do not need to tip here. But if I want… but it doesn’t feel the same as not tipping at a restaurant.” (33:04)

• On Housekeeper/Bellhop Tipping:

  • Sarah: “It’s usually about five bucks [valet]... If I do have somebody bring stuff up, I typically just give them a 20.” (50:38)

• On The Best/Worst Tipping Experiences:

  • Nell: “His bill was like $75… and he tipped me $200. And he was like… have a nice time, go buy the suit, whatever. Just enjoy it.” (60:29)
  • Sarah: “When I waited tables at the Cheesecake Factory, Ron Pompeo… would tip me $100 every time he came in.” (61:15)

• Holiday Tipping Pressure:

  • Sarah: “It was just—it’s November 30th. I didn’t even think about a Christmas present. And I know I’m not going to see him now until after Christmas. So do I bring a present after? Does it look like I tried to time it out to avoid them? Because I didn’t.” (58:38)

• On Tipping in Europe:

  • Sarah: “You don’t tip. Anybody… They just pay their damn employees.” (53:12)

• Podcast Humor Finale:

  • Nell [sign off]: “Until next time, when we talk about… just the tip. Just kidding. I can’t believe we went this whole episode without making a just the tip joke.” (64:02)
  • Sarah: “Actually, good job.” (64:05)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Christmas & Thanksgiving Content Pressure: 01:56—09:29
• Holiday Family Traditions: 09:29—10:51
• Black Friday / Early Sales: 12:24—14:54
• Tipping as a Service Worker: 15:16—23:44
• Automatic Gratuity, Servers’ Finances & Tip-Outs: 17:31—22:03
• Gray Areas: Who & When To Tip?: 23:44—29:31
• Tip Creep in Society / Counter Service Debates: 29:31—36:35
• Bartender, Delivery & Takeout Tipping: 40:41—45:50
• Salon, Spa, and Personal Service Tipping: 43:04—48:06
• Hotel Tipping (Housekeepers, Valets, Bellhops): 48:29—53:04
• No Tipping Culture in Europe: 53:04—54:33
• Holiday Tipping, Gifts, and Guilt: 55:23—59:29
• Best Tip Stories: 59:37—62:33
• Final Thoughts & Listener Call For Input: 62:57—end

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Summary Takeaways

• Tipping in America is both necessary and confusing. Both Sarah and Nell are generally generous tippers (especially as former service workers), but struggle with “tip creep,” unclear expectations, and feeling broke during the holidays.
• Fundamental tipping advice: If someone is paid as a tipped employee (waitstaff, bartenders, valets, hotel housekeepers), tip at least 20%. For others (counter service, delivery, salon owners, house cleaners paid directly)—use discretion and consider wage norms.
• Holiday season: tip more if you can, but gifts/tips aren't universally expected—cash and practical gifts are always best, but don’t let pressure “break you.”
• The wish: clear, European-style wage transparency would resolve much awkwardness. Until then, generosity is appreciated, but authenticity (and financial boundaries) matter most.

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Connect with the show:

Instagram: @everythingsperfect.official
Email: [e-mail]

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Transcript

[Sarah]

What do you think makes the perfect snack? Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really.

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[Sarah]

Could you be more specific?

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When it's cravinient. Okay.

[Nell]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at AM pm. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can.

[Sarah]

Grab in just a second at a.m. pM. I'm seeing a pattern here.

[Nell]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[Sarah]

Crave, which is anything from AM pm.

[Nell]

What more could you want?

[Dutch Vet Sponsor]

Stop by AM PM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience. AM PM too much.

[Nell]

Good stuff.

[Sarah]

Hey, Mrs. Sarah. Look, I'm standing out front of AM PM right now and well, you're sweet and all, but I found something more fulfilling. Even kind of cheesy. But I like it. Sure, you met some of my dietary needs, but they've just got it all. So. Farewell, oatmeal. So long, you strange soggy.

[Nell]

Break up with bland breakfast and taste AM PM's bacon, egg and cheese biscuit.

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[Nell]

AM PM Too much. Good stuff, y'.

[Sarah]

All. These salons out here, they have like seven assistants and every time one of them touches your head, you're like, that's another one that's got to be tipped.

[Nell]

Do you know why they call it Black Friday? Someone told me it's because for most retail stores, at least back in the day, they were in the red all year until Black Friday.

[Sarah]

And that's when we got them in the black.

[Nell]

Profit. And from Black Friday to the rest of the year, everything's profit.

[Sarah]

Did you know that if your hairdresser owns the salon, you're not supposed to tip them because they're not renting a station at the salon. So they're getting all the money. And they're also getting all the money from the people that are renting from them. So you don't technically tip the owner. So.

[Nell]

How you doing?

[Sarah]

Good. I have a bone to pick. It's not with you.

[Nell]

I was like real strong. All right, lay it on me.

[Sarah]

What? It's second week in November as when this goes up. Why am I seeing Christmas reels? Why have I been watching Christmas reels for since the end of October? I'm not there yet.

[Nell]

I agree.

[Sarah]

Like, do I have to bust out all my Christmas decor and start filming Christmas recipes? Because I'm trying to put Thanksgiving stuff out.

[Nell]

I know.

[Sarah]

I can't. And I'm Watching these girls. Listen, I got to give props or, or I guess you're not supposed to say props anymore. You say give flowers. Okay, see, I'm telling you, I should have told you. I should have told you that last week. To give flowers. I got to give flowers where flowers are due. Some of these creators are like, my head explodes with what they do. I'm like, I watch one reel and they'll be showing like all their favorite Amazon finds or something for entertaining or decorating or whatever. And I'm like, okay, first of all, you had to search Amazon. I know how hard it is to find that because I try. Yeah, it takes hours.

[Nell]

Totally.

[Sarah]

Then it has to come then if they're doing a reel about food where they're showing all their different holiday. I'm like, you either had to go buy all of it pre made, which it's not quite time where like the stores have it pre made yet. So.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Did you cook a whole damn Thanksgiving dinner to film the reel? Because the food is there, done, styled. Then you have to film it, move the camera, get the angles, and then you gotta edit it. And it's all those like super quick edits and holiday music and it looks so good. It really just pisses me off that I suck at it. If I'm being totally honest. Trigger is me. Like nothing else.

[Nell]

No.

[Sarah]

Can you not tell? Because I want to be so good at it. And I, I just, I think it's because I don't have the patience because that one reel probably took them a week.

[Nell]

You know what you need to do? Breathe that good first step.

[Sarah]

Hire somebody.

[Nell]

No, I don't want to make different. Like, you know that girl, I love following her on Instagram. She's the one who. I can't remember her name.

[Sarah]

But you don't make beautifully she transition.

[Nell]

No, she'll, she'll like, like someone will like do a beautiful pose or a model or something in like this skimpy outfit and it'll cut to her doing it looking like ridiculous and like, like they might have an actual, you know, leather strappy top and she'll like wrap herself in electric tape or something like that. You should literally like just be the bitter bitch that you really are. I'm just kidding.

[Sarah]

He's not.

[Nell]

And just like it would actually be really funny. Like you starting with a smile, like, here's what we have. And just.

[Sarah]

And it's just like, listen, I can cook a Thanksgiving dinner, but ain't no damn way I could cook it and film it.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

And then Edit it.

[Nell]

And like, also, it ain't Thanksgiving yet. You cook a Thanksgiving dinner once a year.

[Sarah]

Yeah, I'm not trying to cook it three times to film seven different reels for it. Like. And then I'm thinking to myself, they didn't only film one reel. They probably filmed five that day.

[Nell]

That's true.

[Sarah]

But it's like just like all these close ups, right? And they've got the like most perfectly decorated little corner of their kitchen. And then I'm like, huh, does your brain work? Like I said, I'm really just bitter that mine doesn't work that way.

[Nell]

No, there really are like, I feel you. But in my mind I'm thankful for this because there are creators I see who I'm like, this looks so good. And I'm like, that's not my journey, honey. Because that I'm here to admire that, not to create that.

[Sarah]

Seriously, that is like admiring a Picasso. I'm like, I ain't got time.

[Nell]

Exactly. YouTube Real good on that.

[Sarah]

Yeah, I will make you a turkey. Listen, if you want to know what I'm buying from Amazon, I will show you. It ain't gonna be cute like that. My wet vac. I love that thing. My dogs track water, dirt, mud everywhere. People traipsing in and out, dirty gym floors. I'm gonna show you how I use it for real. But it ain't gonna be edited into some damn cute quick flash. Mud prints were there and now they're gone.

[Nell]

Hell no.

[Sarah]

You want to see the blow up mattresses? I like when the house is full of people. I'll show them to you. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna try to film people on them with a quick cut.

[Nell]

Right?

[Sarah]

Making the freaking bed. Trying to make it look like the.

[Nell]

Bed, sleep and matching pajamas, comfortable air.

[Sarah]

Matt, you want them? Here's the link.

[Nell]

That's exactly. I think actually there's. That is just as strong of a market.

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[Nell]

People don't like the nice buttoned up.

[Sarah]

Tell that to the 200,000 likes on it and the. The 12 on mine.

[Nell]

You're just following the wrong people. That's what I'll tell you right now. You got to follow, like, you know, or you could do stitches on all those. Like, just with a hair flip beginning a little tongue pop. Like, let me tell you. Try and catch me basting a turkey in October. No, not gonna happen.

[Sarah]

Yeah, try to catch me with a Christmas tree decoration out. I yelled at Kent the other day. I came home from Nashville, and I And Kent and Dom stayed at the house. And Kent's nephew came up from San Diego, and his nephew loves Christmas. And I'm looking at my coffee stand, and I was like, oh, is there a snowman mug on my coffee stand in October? And then I noticed Kent's plaid mug was out. And then there was one out that said Santa. And I was like, son of a bit. Like, I literally. I was like, what's happening? I was like, what is happening? It's the third week sec. It wasn't even the third week of October. I was like, why is there Christmas in my house?

[Nell]

My cousin, who I love and I respect, and she is a boss and one of my best friends when I was young, she already has her house. Like. Like, Santa's about to come to town and stay. Like, tree, mantle, pillows, everything done. That's what I said. She has her reasons for it. I know people have reasons for what they do.

[Sarah]

She's the one cutting the reels, isn't she?

[Nell]

Gotten the reels. She. And also, like, because she works in E commerce, it gets so busy.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

She's like, you know, she gets to enjoy it a little more with the kids if you do it early. I'm like, yeah, but y' all sweating from the heat.

[Sarah]

Yeah, it's 90 degrees outside today. These boots, I got my legs sweating already. I was like, I gotta turn the air on. But I do like to enjoy fall.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Like, I don't go over the top decorating for fall, but I just want a minute to be present in October and November, and then I will get to the Christmas holiday. I want to enjoy it. I'm not a scrooge. Yeah, I do want to enjoy it, but this pressure to have everything out and be filming Christmas stuff when Halloween hasn't even hit yet. I'm like, y' all are forgetting one of my. Like, I actually think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

[Nell]

That's what I have always said.

[Sarah]

Because it's not about gifts. It's not about the. It's not stressful of, like, I gotta go shopping. And a million things, it's literally like, come together. What are you thankful for? Let's forget the reason it came about.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Because we weren't nice people. Like, let's just make it about what we're thankful for, though. Totally gathering, making food together. You're really like in that holiday spirit. And then the day after. Like that to me was always the biggest thing of like, now we're going into Christmas because it was a big deal. The day after Thanksgiving in my family, like all the girls went shopping in downtown Cleveland when I was little. And you had to wait till you were a certain age. Grandma wouldn't like Grandma. And the aunts wouldn't take you until you were a certain age. So when you finally got to go, it was like a rite of passage because you knew they were about to shop till they dropped.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

That you were on the whole day. Macy's. Macy's would get decorated so pretty in it. It was not decorated the day before. They like, they had a team come in in the middle of the night and it was poof. It was Christmas the day after.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

We were up at 6am and you'd get. We'd get hot cocoa and they'd get coffee and all the things and see Santa. And then we were down there so late that they would light the Christmas lights that night. So as we were leaving down all the downtown buildings in Cleveland would have these giant Christmas like lights and displays and we would look at them all while we drove home. That to me was like, yes.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

But now I'm like, fuck, man, it's October.

[Nell]

Well, I feel like people must because Halloween is like, spooky. And I actually am enjoying all the holly Halloween decorations and stuff like that.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

And people must feel like they get in holiday quote, holiday spirit from decorating for Halloween. I really don't get fall decoration. You're doing a good job. Like this. This bouquet here is fall.

[Sarah]

Great. That's all I got.

[Nell]

And. But I. So maybe I'm like, well, maybe people are just like, well, what's next? And put up their Christmas decorations right after. Yeah. But I think a nice tradition is to have like, not really before, but if you're hosting a Thanksgiving dinner, for example, to have Christmas decorations out, I would like a tradition of mine to be have the tree up and not decorated. You have Thanksgiving dinner and then you all like together, put on some music. You can have drinks, decorate the tree. Because then if you enjoy Black Friday shopping, which I'm not one of those people but if you do, then you can come and you can, like, wrap them, put them under the tree. It's like a whole thing. It's sort of. I like Thanksgiving because it ushers in that. The Christmas holiday spirit. And growing up, we always drew. All the cousins, drew names on Thanksgiving of our gift exchange for Christmas. Yes. And now my family has started doing that.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

Except for now we don't.

[Sarah]

I'm gonna say something, and I'm probably gonna get canceled by all my brand deals.

[Nell]

Oh, God. Well, go for it.

[Sarah]

Black Friday is Black Friday. It's one day. It's the day after Thanksgiving. I'm. Because I do partner with brands and share links and codes, and I love to do that with you guys, because I only partner with brands that I really love. And so I want. I want to be able to pass those savings on. I'm here for a good deal.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

But when I'm posting Black Friday deals now, I'm like, exactly. I feel weird saying it. I think that's what it is. I'm like, just call it a sale. Because I feel weird saying, Black Friday because it's not. Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving. So it just feels odd. Like. And I get people that message me, and they're like, it's not Black Friday. And I'm like, well, I don't know what you want me to do. That's the link I was given. I. I didn't name the link. Like, yeah, I like.

[Dutch Vet Sponsor]

I said.

[Sarah]

And I love the brands I work with, and I'm not putting anybody down. But this is, like, just the side of the, like, marketing world that we're in that, like, everybody's trying to get out in front.

[Nell]

That's the thing. Especially because so much is online now. All these companies are like, well, if we wait, everyone's gonna buy all the things that they're. They would buy. So it's so it is now. It's, like, not Black Friday. So.

[Sarah]

Yeah, it makes. I feel like. It makes like, I. On one hand, I do like this, though, because I do like the ability. I told you, I'm somebody who likes to shop early so I have time to look through. And if I am waiting for those actual Black Friday sales, we're much closer to Christmas, so I don't get to shop. It's either shop early and you're not getting the discounts or wait. So I like that they're having the sales. Yeah. I'm like, I just wish we had a different name on it so that Black Friday could still Be Black Friday that one day.

[Nell]

Do you know why they call it Black Friday?

[Sarah]

No, I don't. Was it because people went in the middle of the night and did it?

[Nell]

No. Someone told me it's because for most retail stores, at least back in the day, Internet may have made this very different. They were in the red all year until Black Friday and then got them in the black. Profit. And from like Black Friday to the rest of the year, everything's profit.

[Sarah]

I just read something. It was talking about a couple of like the different big beauty brands and it was saying one of them. I want to say it's Hailey Bieber, but don't quote me on that. So if I'm wrong, I apologize.

[Nell]

I already forgot what you said, so you don't worry about me.

[Sarah]

I want to say they. They. I think I read that her company does 40 of their total yearly sales on that, like Black Friday Cyber Monday weekend. Yeah, 40 of their total sales. Happens in that. Like fun.

[Dutch Vet Sponsor]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

So I get why people are doing it early, but it just. Like I said, sometimes it just feels a little. I feel you pressure and I know that's not what this podcast episode is about.

[Nell]

Hey, we're great at like, having a little random subject we don't expect.

[Sarah]

I gotta have. I got a vent. I need somebody to say it to.

[Nell]

Yeah, no, I feel. I feel that.

[Sarah]

But with all that comes what we are talking about today. Holiday season. Tipping.

[Nell]

Tipping.

[Sarah]

Tipping in general. Not just the holiday season, but it.

[Nell]

Is something you even think about. But it's like, especially during the holidays.

[Sarah]

Exponentially more in the forefront of your mind during the holidays.

[Nell]

But yeah. So the thing is, we both, we're good tippers.

[Sarah]

Yeah. Worked in the service industry half of my life.

[Nell]

Yeah, we have. We know what it's like to live off of tips as your wage, which a little side rant is. And I did this not long ago, but it's bullshit that I realize things are different now. And it's good, but it's also like, I don't fully understand it with the taxing on tips, but until recently, I was so messed up that the per. Like, if I work, let's say, you know, I'm an engineer or something and my money is all taxed. If I hire an employee, then I can give them a 1099 and I can deduct that money so I don't have to pay taxes on it as income. But you can't do that when you tip someone. But the person you're tipping has to claim.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Nell]

Taxes on that it's, it's a fraud, I tell you what.

[Sarah]

But also up until recently, like when I waited tables, which was, let's see, What, I was 20, maybe 25 when I stopped waiting tables. So 20 years ago now. Oh my God, time flies. But nonetheless, you got paid $2 and 15 cents an hour, which basically meant nothing. Like you didn't. You always got a zero dollar paycheck, always. So you were only getting your tips. But when I waited tables, there was no gratuity automatically added to a check. You had to have a party that was like eight people or more before they would even consider adding it on for you. So I can't tell you how many times. And I'm. Let me tell you something. I always knew I'd be okay because I'm a very good server. Like, I am quick on my feet. I get things done. I can do it with a smile. I might not have a smile while I'm running around, but I'll have a smile when I arrive at your table for sure. Polite. Get it done for you. But you get people that don't necessarily know how to tip, or they do and they just don't care.

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[Sarah]

And you're like, oh my God, you just took my table up for two hours. You had a 300 check and you left me 10 bucks, right? That should have been 60.

[Nell]

Yes.

[Sarah]

And it's like, okay, well, I put the hours in, but I didn't get paid.

[Nell]

Right. It is wild, you know? Well, something a lot of people don't know. And because a lot of restaurants now are not doing automatic gratuity again, even on large parties. And it's not going well for a lot of the servers because a lot of people are like, well, you know, they didn't like. I was with someone who I, I love very much. It was a family member who, not an immediate family, remember who. We went to this really nice dinner someplace and the bill was high. And this person has a lot of money. Like, like a, like there's no issue But I think the principle of it, she was like, you know, at some point, 20% is just so much for the work he did. And that really bothered me because I work in the industry and the, the, the. It's not the point of the story, but I went back and gave that guy money. And it's sort of like too, because I get it, but also my finances compared to the person my family, like, I should not have been the one covering that. But what a lot of people don't know, like is if, for easy math, if my sales are a hundred dollars, I have to give like 1% or 2% to the hosts. I have to give.

[Sarah]

Which by the way, hosts never used to have to be tipped out. Yeah, they are an hourly employee. They never were supposed to get tipped. You're walking somebody to the table.

[Nell]

Yeah. So that's if it's 2% of $100, that's $2. If. And I pay the bussers 4 to 6%.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Nell]

So even if I just say 5, that's $5. So now we're at $7. I have to pay the bar usually 6 or 7%. My last place was 6 of alcohol sales, which is a large part of your sales, serves alcohol. And so by the time I do all of my tipping out, if you leave me 20% on $100 bill, I have all already lost $10 of it. So if you give your waiter, by.

[Sarah]

The way, is almost half. If you tip 20%, the server who did the majority of that work taking care of you is only getting 10%.

[Nell]

And your, and your tip isn't oftentimes just going to that person. So when you're like, you know, $10 is enough when that happens. Yeah, I just, I don't get tipped.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Nell]

Because everyone else, my tip out is done for me automatically end of the night. So I think it's important. And I do understand that a people don't know, like in the industry, it gets very frustrating. But I, I do want this to be like slightly an opportunity for people to be educated about that. It's important if you go someplace where that person is relying. Because even now that people are paid higher because of all of the things that are taken out of your check, you do not get paychecks. Maybe at 100 bucks, if you're lucky, you live off of your tips.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Nell]

If you're sitting there and if someone, especially if someone's doing the best they can, being kind to you, being as attentive as they can, nobody's perfect. And sometimes Things are out of your server's control.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Nell]

If you can afford to sit there at that restaurant, you can afford to tip 20.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Nell]

And if you can't, consider what you're ordering. Like, I have sat there, I've had people spend, like, buy the most expensive things on the menu and get three rounds of drinks, their bills, hundreds of dollars, and leave me $5.

[Sarah]

Yeah. It's insane.

[Nell]

And that's when I was like, hitch.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

I'm not, I'm not meant for this.

[Sarah]

That's what you're like, I want to chase you down.

[Nell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's just really difficult because, you know, everyone, everyone's just doing their. The best they can. And if you're there, you need to know you're particip. You're participating in a place where servers live off of the tips.

[Sarah]

Right? Yes. Thousand percent agree. Because like I said, I, I, I. That's how I moved out here. It's how I put myself through college, literally waiting tables. I was waiting double shifts, seven days a week. Because back in the day.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

They didn't care. They let you do it.

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

And like.

[Nell]

Yeah. You could literally, like, say, wave your brakes and they just.

[Sarah]

Yeah. Wave your brain. Keep going. And people just. Yeah. Like, just didn't know sometimes. And you're like, I am sweating running around here. Like, yeah, you don't know what it's like being me out here for you. Like, the least you can do. And like you said, if, if you can't afford to tip the person, then order differently. Order differently. Or go to a different restaurant.

[Nell]

Yes.

[Sarah]

But like. Yeah, I know, because people will say it all the time. Like, oh, well, I got like, we got a really expensive bottle of wine, but they didn't have to do extra work for it. I just. Yeah, but you ordered it, right? It's just how it goes. Because like, you said, like, if somebody orders a 400 bottle of wine, you're gonna have to tip out the bar.

[Nell]

And I still tip the host.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Nell]

The buser. All those people who didn't even. 400 bottle of wine.

[Sarah]

And it's like, you actually are gonna end up in the negative. It's gonna take more from your other tips if the person that bought that 400 bottle doesn't tip. If they're like, why? Tipped on the food. But I'm not gonna tip on it. Because all you had to do was open it.

[Nell]

Yeah. It's like, no.

[Sarah]

Well, then can you please go tip the bartender, the host, and the busboy? Because I'm gonna have to. I do think, I'm just curious because when I waited tables, we didn't have to tip out the host. Like that was just not a thing because they're, they're paid hourly. It's interesting to me that they make the host get tipped out.

[Nell]

Now, every place I've worked in LA since I've been.

[Sarah]

But are they paid hourly?

[Nell]

Yes, but it's, it's. But why they're paying less. But, but I will say this is.

[Sarah]

My beef though, with the industry. No restaurant owner, you don't get to pay the host less and say they deserve to get tipped out from you taking the order, bringing the drinks, clearing the tables, making sure the food's right, eating sometimes. Because people are not always nice when they're out to dinner. Like, and this is no disrespect to hosts or hostesses, like, I know they work hard and I know sometimes they got to deal with crabby people at the front waiting, but like they're at the front and they're seating people. It, I think it is the restaurant's job to make sure they are paying them appropriately and that it should not be coming out of the server's tips.

[Nell]

I, I tend to agree, however, two things. One is like if you, if not you, if someone protests the fact that restaurants are doing that by tipping less because the host shouldn't get it, you're just gonna be the server.

[Sarah]

I'm just, I'm just sort of venting it here.

[Nell]

The only thing, if I was gonna play devil's advocate, because I agree, and actually we're going to talk about the flip side of this where it feels like you're supposed to tip everybody and it's out of control. But a ho. The, A host, if it's very like, if they're paid hourly, they're paid the same on slow nights, weeknights. And then if it's very busy, they're helping turn tables, they're helping run things, they're pushing things together, they're checking in with their service, they're putting a lot more effort in on busier nights. So maybe they should. It is just a little bit that they're tipped out.

[Sarah]

Yeah, no, no, I know. It's like barely. Yes. And I, yes. By the way, if they are helping turntables clean tables, all that, then yes, because they are doing above and beyond.

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

Where with the places I waited tables and I, I did wait at some pretty high end places, but the host, they did not. The, the most that they did was like Push the tables together if they needed to put a big party. But it was up to the servers and the busers to clear those tables, turn those tables. So, yes, I know it's different now. And like I said, that was not me saying like, oh, hosts don't get deserve. I was just saying more. So I think that the restaurant management and owners need to pay appropriately because.

[Nell]

I agree it is.

[Sarah]

You know, I mean, it's hard.

[Nell]

I. Yeah. I don't know. Or I think that because it's so optional. Some. And some people is very nice and they tip very generously and I appreciate it. But I do feel like there's a restaurant Nell and I go to in Hollywood that no matter who where like one person sits down, your bill has an automatic 18 gratuity on. And I kind of like that for those servers because they're in Hollywood hot. There a lot of tourists.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

A lot of people from all over who maybe don't understand tipping or just people who maybe are like, say, I get that they've saved up money, they're here on vacation, they're doing their thing. But that doesn't mean you cannot support the staff who. You're.

[Sarah]

Who are Right.

[Nell]

At the restaurants.

[Sarah]

Yeah. Because. Yeah, that's how it goes.

[Nell]

The last rest or one of the restaurants I worked at, I though if I would like. Like if the bill was $200 and I got tipped 5 and it was going to cost me, like, you know, 10 or 15 bucks extra just to tip everyone else out. I was in the office and I said, I'm not. Take this off of my checkout. Like, take these sales away. I'm not. And they said some. One of the managers one time was like, well, I don't think I can do that. And I said, I'm not leaving this office until you remove it.

[Sarah]

Good.

[Nell]

You cannot require me to pay out of my POC it for money for these other people I don't even know came in here and ate the food. I'm not doing that. Yeah, that's. And mo. I think that is the thing, like, if that happens. But anyways, so I think it's important and I know you agree to tip your servers, tip people who you're expected to tip. There's a lot of gray area these days.

[Sarah]

Well, let's talk gray areas in one second. But I also, like, I just want to hit it again because you said it. First of all, don't go to the restaurant starving if you're going to turn into an.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Because, you know, restaurants are busy. It's not the host fault or the server's fault that you came hungry and had to wait an hour.

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

So don't be all mad. Oh, my God. The food's taking long. If you ordered your steak well done and you know the restaurant is packed, like, that's out of your server's control.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Like, and more. Everybody's human. So sometimes the server does mess up.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

If they apologize, acknowledge, try to make it better, take care of them. But also acknowledge, like, sometimes, okay, you put an order in and you said no cheese and it comes out with cheese. That doesn't mean that your server messed up and forgot to say no cheese.

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

It means maybe that. It could mean maybe the kitchen didn't see that or maybe the runner grabbed the wrong one.

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

Or didn't realize. Like, that's just human error. So don't. Oh, my God. And I'm not tipping, like, you know what I'm saying?

[Nell]

Yeah. Yeah. Happens. If you need. If you need everything to go perfectly your way, keep your ass at home. Yeah.

[Sarah]

Go home, cook it yourself. Sorry. People make mistakes. I bet you're perfect and never made one in your life. But sometimes people make mistakes.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

But, yeah, there is this gray area.

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[Sarah]

Of. It feels like everywhere you go, everybody's got their hand out for a tip.

[Nell]

The other day, I told you Nell and I went to the Hollywood bowl to see Shawn Mendes. Which side note, I was not a big Shawn Mendez fan. And now I'm obsessed. He's one of the most talented young guys.

[Sarah]

Really good. Yeah.

[Nell]

Ever seen. And we had a credit for Ticketmaster because of something we earned. And when. So I was like, okay, we can use it for that. I wouldn't have paid. Now I will pay for his concert.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Nell]

It was so good. So you guys should see it. But we were getting at the Hollywood bowl, you can, like, order a bottle of wine and it's. It's kind of cute. Whatever. And we were deciding, should we get a bottle or not? So, like, okay, we'll get a bottle. So the guy didn't even open it because it was a screw top bottle.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Nell]

Set it down. Handed us two plastic cups. We were like, we'll also take two waters. We got two bottles of water. The bill was 80 some doll, almost 90 bucks. And he hands me the thing and there's the. The tip options there. And I was like, holy fuck. And I feel bad because I was a tipped employee. So truthfully, I don't think that person actually deserves a 20 tip.

[Sarah]

No.

[Nell]

And respectfully, I don't. They just didn't do. They just. Are there a counter service? I'm carrying it. They're not pouring it. They're not delivering it. They didn't. You know what I mean? But I still left a tip because that moment I'm so bad about when that option's there, I'm like, okay, be generous. But where am I? Just being stupid.

[Sarah]

Well, I guess the question becomes this because I'm with you. Like, to me, that person is a cashier and they should be getting a normal hourly wage for being a cashier.

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

The question is, is are they getting a normally hourly. Are they getting a normal hourly wage or are they getting less? Because people assume they tip because that's messed up. They aren't doing anything. They should be getting a normal hourly wage. They're not coming over saying, what would you like? They're not describing wines to you. They're not pouring it, they're not refilling your water, nothing. Right. You're a cashier. When I go to Starbucks and I order a coffee, cashier took the order and I know they all split it and the barista's making it.

[Nell]

Yes.

[Sarah]

So I usually do leave a tip because I'm like, okay, the barista. Like, I know they're all gonna split it.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

But yes, when a cashier takes an order, like, I don't tip the cashier at the grocery store.

[Nell]

Can you imagine? Yeah.

[Sarah]

And I guess maybe it's because maybe we're seeing it as the cashier, but maybe it is because the barista. Okay, like, okay, so if you go to a counter service restaurant, because cooks don't get tipped out, this is what's interesting. Cooks don't get tipped out. Obviously, there's way too many.

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

So if you go to a counter service restaurant, cashier takes your order, it pops up asking if you want a tip. But there's the cashier and there's the cook.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

And then, you know, they'll call your number or maybe, maybe they come just set it down on your table, but they're not getting you your drinks. They're not taking your order at your thing.

[Nell]

So how I look at it. So two different to me. And this isn't like a. I'm not saying this is the universal law, but I'm like, this is an opportunity for complete generosity. Yes, I do not need to tip here. But if I want. And so oftentimes I might tip 10%. Like if my. If depending on what it is. If like, you know, or, or maybe a easy five dollar bill or something like depending on what it is.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Nell]

But I don't think that feels different than to me, I don't. If I decide not to tip, it doesn't feel the same as going to a restaurant and not tipping.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

Like these people's wage is not living off of that tip. That's a cute little bonus. And so sometimes I like to throw that. Cute. I, I actually. Every time. But this is where I'm just mindful of it. There is like at Starbucks, even if I'm getting a couple drinks, I'll usually at least if the options there leave a dollar.

[Sarah]

Yeah. Like I said, I will tip.

[Nell]

But I'm not just thinking about the percentages.

[Sarah]

20% off of the thing. Okay, here's a good one. Postmates that. Okay, I'm gonna tell you how I do it. Only because I know they're. They changed the law here in California and they had to start paying them more because for a minute they were only getting paid basically off of their tips chips. And you're like, okay, it's a lot. But if I order a steak dinner from somewhere, which I have been known to do, like, oh, I don't want to go out to dinner. Okay, great, we're gonna order steak and this and that. Da, da, da. Or for me and Dom, whatever. I could easily order a 200 order right from a place that's three miles away. You didn't take the order, you didn't put the order in. You didn't cook the order. You picked up a bag, you put it in your car and you left it at my front door. I'm not tipping you $40.

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

For the place that's three miles away. I do. What I do think about is where did I order from and how far away is it?

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Because I do think about their gas money and their time.

[Nell]

Me too.

[Sarah]

But I'm not gonna necessarily give you $40 when you ran in, picked up the bag. I'm not gonna give you the Same as what I would give the server for checking on me, bringing me more something drink, da da da.

[Nell]

Or even like one of my first serving jobs at Bob Evans in Ohio. Sometimes I would work, carry out. And you actually I got paid more doing carryout hourly. But you also still do a lot. Like a good carryout person. Makes sure you have your sauces, make sure your napkins and your. Yes, everything's in there. And if you ask your dressing on the side, it's on the side. They're checking the order difference. So I did appreciate when people would tip and I usually do tip something. But I feel the same with a food delivery service. I'm like, like this, this for example, if I order just some one meal for me or if I order a meal for Nell and I, that person has nothing that's different.

[Sarah]

No exact same work.

[Nell]

I don't know. So it really depends. I usually, I usually tip at least 15% but it just depends. And I usually don't order 200 meals so I don't do that often.

[Sarah]

I was using it as an example.

[Nell]

Though, like yeah, that might change for me what I would tip but usually with what I'm. And I always take a minute because you know, I know money is not just free flowing in these streets. You ain't that money tree ain't producing.

[Sarah]

Right. Yeah. Come on.

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[Nell]

I do always have this pause like, am I being stupid or am I being generous?

[Sarah]

I think you're being generous. I don't think it's stupid ever.

[Nell]

I think it's generous, but I take that, that well, it's stupid if, if, if you just don't have the money and you're throwing it all away.

[Sarah]

Well, yeah, if you're just doing it out of guilt, yeah, then yes, but.

[Nell]

I do, I do take those beats and then I think, okay, I want to be generous. But usually with a food delivery service that's closer to 15 than it is 20 because, because it's just, it is sort of a gray area that one's.

[Sarah]

A gray area for sure. Like I said, I think it's. For me, I do it more on. Because as. As the Uber driver or whatever, like driver, they can't even check your order. The way that all works, your bag is stapled or taped closed before they pick it up so that they can't mess with it. So I've had plenty of times where I've had food arrive that's not even right or it's missing a whole item. And then it's like, oh, my God, I waited 30 minutes. Now I got to reorder it. And it's not their fault, but I. You have to put the tip in before the food even arrives. You don't know if it arrived right and told how long it took.

[Nell]

Also, you know those. I'm just kidding. If I was. I mean, it's like when you go get you, like, fast food for your family or something, and you just smell those hot fries in the bag, you know, your hands reaching.

[Sarah]

That's why those bags are staple, Chuck. So that they can't. Because you're like, okay, but I will say, if I order groceries, I tip the full 20 because I want my groceries and I want it right. But here's what annoys me again. I should get to tip after you've dropped the groceries off because they make you put the tip in first.

[Nell]

I know, but I do think you can edit it on most platforms. You can, but then you feel like a real.

[Sarah]

But I'm like, I can't tell you how many times when I've ordered groceries. And I'm like, first of all, if you're gonna do that, if you're gonna be an instacart person, you need to learn what to look for. Don't be bringing me rotten vegetables, rotten fruit. Because I'm like, did you purposely look for it? Because why are they all about to go back?

[Nell]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah]

Like. But I actually. Conspiracy theory.

[Nell]

Oh.

[Sarah]

I think the grocery store does it because I've seen. So Like I've seen at Erewhon, they actually have employees that do the shopping, get it all ready, and then somebody just comes and picks it up. So I always thought it was the instacart driver going in, doing the shopping. And maybe it is at different places, but at Erewhon, I think they have employees that do it. And I'm like, you.

[Nell]

They're pushing the.

[Sarah]

You're pushing the shit that's about to go back and you're charged. And let me tell you, worse than Whole Paycheck, Whole Foods they're even more expensive. And I'm like, I want the. That's fresh out of the box. Like I want the thing that's brand new in. Don't be giving me the day olds.

[Nell]

I think we need to do some research onto this and see if they're pushing the old on the thing. No, I. I had a moment one time where my lettuce that came. I was like, like. Right. This is not. This is. There's no way.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

That this was even sitting on the show.

[Sarah]

Yeah. You're wear this.

[Nell]

This is brown and stinky and slimy.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

It's half looking like someone already ate it and it out. Like what the is going on here?

[Sarah]

Yeah. Like am I gonna. And then you have to go in and you have to ask for the refund and take a photo.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

But in the meantime I just needed my lettuce because I'm trying to make dinner.

[Nell]

Exactly. So much for a salad. Yeah.

[Sarah]

Ain't nobody got time for this. I guess I gotta eat a donut.

[Nell]

Oops. I tried.

[Sarah]

You're. You're the problem.

[Nell]

Yeah, that one, that one's difficult.

[Sarah]

But I wonder. I want to, I want to look into that.

[Nell]

Yeah. That's interesting.

[Sarah]

If it's the instacart driver doing the shopping or if the stores have somebody doing the shopping because it does happen way too often that my produce is like, why is this bad? I know I don't see this on the shelf when I go to Erewhon. So how. How are they finding it? Like the worst of the worst.

[Nell]

Yeah. So another one.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Nell]

And this is a tipped person. But your bartender. Because back in my day, children like a dollar a drink was appropriate.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Nell]

But drinks are like 20, 25.

[Sarah]

You gotta tip these bartenders.

[Nell]

Yeah, I always tip 20 on drinks. But that's not as common as you would think.

[Sarah]

Oh really?

[Nell]

Most people just think, oh, they just made a drink or you know, they might buy a nine dollar beer and think, oh, it's just a beer and hand, hand a dollar. But it's like you're only tipping 10 at that point.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

You know, I, I think you should always have 20 to a bartender.

[Sarah]

I always did. I thought you just were supposed to.

[Nell]

Okay.

[Sarah]

Especially if you're ordering the cocktails that they have to like mix those, take a minute. They have to know what it is. And a good bartender like, like you get that drink and you taste it and it's good. You're like, tip that bartender. Because that's a skill. It really is a craft if you're.

[Nell]

Gonna have a second drink, you want to be the good tipper. Because at a busy bar, they're going to come looking for you. They might give you a special deal. They might give you ones on the house. Bartenders are really. If you're ordering directly from the bartender, you definitely want a tip.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Nell]

I had something happen the other day.

[Sarah]

Oh, tell me.

[Nell]

So I went to. You know how. If you go to autozone. Have you ever gone to autozone?

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Nell]

You never know what.

[Sarah]

Let's not act like I've just lived in the lap of luxury my whole life.

[Nell]

Okay. So if you buy. I had to replace my battery. It was in my old car, actually.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Nell]

And if you buy something and ask them to help you, they'll help you. Like the workers at AutoZone, they'll come out to the parking lot, they help me replace my battery.

[Sarah]

Oh, okay.

[Nell]

I gave the guy 20 bucks.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Nell]

Because I was like, if I would have gone someplace.

[Sarah]

Yeah, you would have done.

[Nell]

He was shocked. Like, oh, my God. Thank you. And so I think that's a case where it's not that you have. It's like AutoZone workers are not tipped employees, but they're also not technically mechanics when you go in there. So.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Nell]

If someone goes above and beyond, if someone does something like that. I think tipping, even though it's not ordinary, is totally appropriate. And it can just be whatever you. Maybe whatever cash you have, whatever you think is kind. Yes. Would you have done the same thing?

[Sarah]

Oh, yeah, for sure. 100. If they came out and helped you? Yeah, I would. That's one I wouldn't even think of. I would. Absolutely. Okay, let's get into the nitty gritty ones. Okay. Yes. You tip your hairdresser.

[Nell]

Okay.

[Sarah]

Y', all these salons out here, they have like seven assistants. And every time one of them touches your head, you're like, that's another one that's gotta be tipped.

[Nell]

See, I think it should be like a server. You. If you tip, you tip what you tip. Well, the problem is they fuck their people over.

[Sarah]

Did you know that if your hairdresser owns the salon, you're not supposed to tip them?

[Nell]

I've heard that.

[Sarah]

Because they're not renting a station at the salon. So they're getting all the money, and they're also getting all the money from the people, the people that are renting from them. So again, if you're a hairdresser, don't shoot the messenger. If I'm wrong, tell me. But I was friends with somebody who owned a salon. And he said, you're not.

[Nell]

You don't tip the owner.

[Sarah]

He's like, you don't technically tip the owner. He's like, we're not mad if you do it, but technically you don't have to tip the owner.

[Nell]

What about if a massage therapist who you pay directly comes to your house?

[Sarah]

Right? So if they come to your house. So that's question. I don't know. That's always a dicey one for me because I have somebody that comes to my house sometimes. And I used to tip him. Then he raised his rates real high. And I was like, okay, first of all, you're already getting the full price. So to me, if you're charging well over $100 an hour for the massage and that's what you do is in home, like, then no, you don't get a tip on top of it. You just made a hundred dollars an hour.

[Nell]

I kind of feel that too.

[Sarah]

Like, so, no, I don't tip on top of that anymore.

[Nell]

I mean, I'm not like, I still would just because I have fear of not doing what I'm supposed to do. But. But it does seem okay. Like, when I was teaching dance more full time, one of my student and I teach pretty much exclusively private lessons, a few groups here and there. I had students who were paying, I think, like a good amount of money to take lessons from me. Who said here after. I think it might have actually been their first lesson. I don't fully remember first full lesson after the intro. Do you take tips? And I was like, no. And in my mind, I was like, I want to shut this down before this is another unsure. Do we tip our dance teachers industry? I was like, this is not a tipping. You don't need to tip me. It's not industry standard for you to tip me. You pay for this service, right? I'm a professional in this business, and I appreciate your business.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

And he was like, okay, well, it's in my hand. Take it anyway. And I was like, you really don't have to do that.

[Sarah]

But.

[Nell]

Because again, it's like not.

[Sarah]

There are just sometimes precedent. Yeah, exactly.

[Nell]

You set a price for a reason. And I do wish some of these services would just include what they want to make. Like, hair is a really good example because it. Well, it's different when you have assistance, I guess. But like, if I was a barber, I would feel a lot more comfortable. It's just easier to be like, this is how much I want to make per person. And even if it Seems higher if it was that and tipping was not a consideration.

[Sarah]

Well, let me tell you, these people at the salons I go to, they got no problem charging virgin. I'm like, it's hair. But listen, don't get me wrong. I've had my hair messed up a million times. So I get it. I am more than willing to pay. But what's the worst is when you pay and they it up. It's like, oh, my God, you just charged me hundreds of dollars to color my hair. And it's crazy.

[Nell]

It's not what I want.

[Sarah]

Yeah. And I gotta pay. You tip. You tip your assistance, and now I gotta go get it fixed and tip that and tip that person. Like, I.

[Nell]

And I just want to be clear because we are former tipped employees. We're not cheap. We like to tip people, but it's a lot of gray area.

[Sarah]

Yeah, we're really just talking gray area. I really like, I tip.

[Nell]

Yeah, I know you do.

[Sarah]

I tip. I tip well. Like, especially if somebody goes above. Like, sometimes I love just throwing somebody, like a very extravagant tip just because they're like, oh, my God. And I remember how good that would feel like, when that would happen to me and somebody would leave like, a much bigger tip than you would ever expect. And you're like, oh, my God, you don't even know the impact that just made. Because, like, that's an extra bill.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Or it relieves pressure. Like, I could get a little something extra paid off or things like that. I don't always do it. Yeah, but it's. It is fun to do it. But. Yes, good tipper. We're just talking about the gray areas where people in general will have questions like, who do you tip at the salon? Okay. So if you're tipping the main hairdresser 20, what are you tipping the assistants? I never know. So I just throw a lot.

[Nell]

Cha ching, baby. I know, but I also, like, I've gotten my car washed before.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Nell]

And I wonder, am I supposed to tip these guys? You tip house cleaners, but not your house?

[Sarah]

I guess you don't. I don't. No.

[Nell]

You don't tip house.

[Sarah]

No.

[Nell]

But you tip the. Well cleaners at hotel. The. The whatever. Yeah.

[Sarah]

Housekeeper. I don't want to say me. Yes, the housekeeper's at a hotel. Okay. Here's an interesting question, though. So I have somebody that comes and helps clean this house once a week. So she gets paid her rate for what she wants. She gets holiday bonus, things like that, little things throughout the year. But the Florida house, like, I remember after we had one of the big parties, I had a company send people to come clean, and there was three girls that came and cleaned. Let me tell you, I felt like I got bent over with no, like, oh my. For the price that they charged. And then like, so you didn't pay the girls directly? Like, they sent three women to clean. And then the guy was taking like the credit card over the phone to pay it, and he was like, okay, how much do you want to tip? And I was like, what? Like, you just charged me so much. I did the math really quick and I was like, that's at least 50 to $60 an hour per girl that you were charging me. You want me to now tip on top of that?

[Nell]

Yeah, I'm very surprised per person because they.

[Sarah]

I'm just gonna say they charged me like $1300 to clean the house. I was like, you guys are out of your mind. Yeah. Like, the house wasn't trash. They had to like. Like the biggest thing they had to do was wash the bedding and remake the beds.

[Nell]

Right?

[Sarah]

And I was like, and now I gotta tip three women on top of that. Like, this is insane. I would have just stayed an extra day in town and done it by damn self.

[Nell]

I'm saying, call me. I'll give you a real good deal.

[Sarah]

Honey, for that kind. I'll give it to you for half.

[Nell]

Exactly.

[Sarah]

We'll have a good time while we do it.

[Nell]

I'm like, wait, yeah.

[Sarah]

So I do think that. That. But yes, you do tip at the hotel.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Like you leave. But a lot of people don't know that.

[Nell]

Okay, so another. I know I forget to be honest.

[Sarah]

Oh, really?

[Nell]

I really do. The last hotel I stayed in, I was like, okay, I'm leaving money for the. Yeah. For the housekeeper. How much? Because you definitely do this. How much do you tip a valet?

[Sarah]

It depends.

[Nell]

I usually do five bucks.

[Sarah]

I was gonna say it's usually about five bucks.

[Nell]

Yeah. All right. How much do you tip a bellhop? Do you do per bag?

[Sarah]

No. I am an asshole. And it's not. It's not because I'm trying to avoid tipping a bellhop. I don't typically give my bags to a bellhop to bring up.

[Nell]

Okay.

[Sarah]

It annoys the out of me. Like, unless I had an. A lot of bags, which I don't. I'm a good packer. I usually have one bag. I don't want to leave my bag with you and wait for you to bring it to my room. I just want to take my bag with Me and learn I'm quite capable bringing my bag to my room. So I feel bad because then it's like, oh, well, they're not getting tipped. And I'm like, it's not that I'm trying to avoid tipping somebody. I'm just perfectly okay with bringing my bag with me.

[Nell]

Yes.

[Sarah]

To the front desk. And I don't need to wait for you to bring it up there. I want my now. Because also sometimes they take a while and they're like, oh, you could just leave it here with the bellman and you know, here's the thing. And go to your room. And then I'm like, you know, I want to go about and leave the room and I'm waiting for the bag to come.

[Nell]

I know. I hate that. Or like on a cruise, it's a mystery. You're like, like in the deep sea before you even know if your bag made it on the ship.

[Sarah]

Yeah. That happened to somebody we know on the last cruise we took. And she. They like literally couldn't find her bag for over a day. And it turned out she had a, like a mini steamer in it. And so they put it in the light.

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

Not allowed on board.

[Nell]

Pile on board. Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah]

Like it's already on.

[Nell]

Yeah, that's right.

[Sarah]

But like they didn't like, you should tag it. Go notify that room something.

[Nell]

I.

[Sarah]

Which I think is crazy.

[Nell]

I do per bag and it's.

[Sarah]

It's like, like, is it like $5 per bag? $10?

[Nell]

3? It depends if I have. If I have. If they bring up only three bags, I would probably give 10 bucks.

[Sarah]

I typically give a 20.

[Nell]

Okay.

[Sarah]

Like in general, if. If I do have somebody bring stuff up, I typically just give them a 20.

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[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Call it a day. Can I tell you something that I love Europe. They don't tip.

[Nell]

They really figured it out, haven't they?

[Sarah]

They really did they just pay their damn employees.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

And nobody. And by the way, servers are nice. I mean, other than the fact that they kind of take a Long time to get to you. Because they could care less if they have one table or 10 because they're getting paid hourly, like Dom. And I noticed that in France, I was like, oh, my gosh, we've been sitting here for three hours, and we ordered Caesar salads. Like, what the heck? But aside from that, like, yeah. They kind of look at you crazy if you tip them.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Because they're like, what? Oh, like, they're. They don't get tipped.

[Nell]

That would be so weird. I've not been to Europe.

[Sarah]

Oh, really?

[Nell]

Yeah. We're supposed to go next year.

[Sarah]

You don't.

[Nell]

So, yeah. You don't tip.

[Sarah]

You don't tip anybody.

[Nell]

But I love. I think it's so easy, like on a cruise. Oh, yes, that's good. Or if it's just included. Take the guessing workout. Take the complicate, like on a cruise, that every drink you get has a gratuity.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Nell]

Added. And sometimes. And if that happens, I usually. Because I like to be generous, I like to feel like it's a choice. Add a dollar or two.

[Sarah]

There you go.

[Nell]

Like, I'll be like, okay, let's give a little extra. So I'm above the rest.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

In terms of, like, my effort. But I really do like that because then I just have to stop guessing. Like, I. I, you know, I just never know who I'm supposed to.

[Sarah]

Well, that's the problem too. Like, I feel like literally everywhere you go now, everybody puts it in on the pad, which makes you feel like.

[Nell]

Oh, I'm supposed to do that.

[Sarah]

Supposed to do that.

[Nell]

Uhhuh.

[Sarah]

Okay, let's pivot. Even though we're talking about tipping, because it probably sounds like we're a bunch of cheap bastards.

[Nell]

I swear we're not.

[Sarah]

Swear we're not. I went out to dinner last night with my girlfriend, and really nice restaurant down the street from us. Server was really nice. My girlfriend knows the owner who happened to be there that night. His table was across from ours. So we're talking da, da, da. Like, I have no problem. Like, the server was just so nice, I threw him a hundred bucks. I mean, our check wasn't. Didn't warrant that by any stretches. But, like, okay, two questions. So, because part of the reason we were like, let's talk about tipping is because we're going into the holiday season.

[Dutch Vet Sponsor]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

And I. I feel like it gets exaggerated even more. Like, do you have to tip more because it's the holidays? And so then you're like, okay, these people are trying to buy gifts and go home or maybe they have kids. Da, da, da. So, like, do you tip even more because it's holiday season and. Cause, like, oh, they're working and it's holiday season. Especially if it's like a holiday. Do you tip even more? Do you tip more people?

[Nell]

I tip more, but not in the holiday season. I t. I tip more if I find myself within 48 hours of a big holiday. So if it's the day before Thanksgiving and I don't feel like cooking because there's a lot of cooking that's going to happen or something, and we hit a restaurant, I'm going to tip a little extra. I might tip, like 30% or something. Like, I'm not saying necessarily because also, you know, we're all just people. We have to buy gifts and the food and all the things too. But I do think if you can, it's really rewarding and important to do it. And you don't know how much it means to them, that person. But that doesn't mean all November, all of a sudden. My, my. Because I tip well already, so I'm not going to be doubling my tips or all. A girl will go, bro.

[Sarah]

Honey. But then also, same lines. Holidays are here. I feel like you got to buy presents for everybody. Like, I'm afraid to go places.

[Nell]

I know.

[Sarah]

I'm like, you get your hair colored, you gotta tip them. She bring him a present.

[Nell]

You asking the wrong. I know, because I don't. I don't give my friends presents. Half the time I'm like, I'm busy.

[Sarah]

You know, I go, you can see your esthetician tip them. Are you bringing them a present? Now, there are certain people that I love that have been in my life for literally 10, 20 years that I'm gonna bring them present because I'd love to.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

But I'm just saying, like, you cut like. Have you ever seen the movie Bad Mom's Christmas? And she opens it up and she's like, I just gave my barista a candle. Why did I do that? Like, the holidays, and it's like, you feel like. Like, you know, you gotta buy for the teachers, and you gotta. The postman and the pool guy and the cleaning. Like, by the time you just get through the taking care of the people that help take care of you at home, you're like, okay, that was a lot of thought. Because I. A lot of times I like to just give cash because I'm like, that's what people really want. But if it's somebody I know and I know they want or need something. Then I'm like, okay, let me do this. That. But then, like I said, then you start to go to those exteriors and.

[Nell]

It'S like, no, I don't. I think that's the. What this is about. It's wonderful to tip and be generous when you feel moved to. It's important to tip in spaces that it's expected if you go there. But yeah, no, you're asking the. Listen, I'm. Call me Scrooge. Like gifts. That takes thought. If I'm giving you something, it's money. Maybe a gift card, a gift or a re. Gift.

[Sarah]

I can't tell you how many times I'll walk into the salon and it could be three weeks before Christmas. And all of a sudden I see that they have been brought because, you know, you don't get your hair done every week. So it's like, oh, if you're within a month of Christmas, people are bringing Christmas presents. And I'm like, oh, my God. It was just. It's. It's November 30th. I didn't even think about a Christmas present. And I know I'm not going to see him now until after Christmas. So do I bring a present after?

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

Does it look like I tried to time it out to avoid them? Because I didn't.

[Nell]

But like, yeah, I don't. I don't think people should worry about that. That to me, that is. I'm gonna sound like such a say. That is consumerism and the industry trying to tell you you have to buy something for everybody. But you know, like as a d. When I was teaching dance again, I have students who would bring me gifts every Christmas season or something. And I really appreciated it, but I did not expect it.

[Sarah]

I was gonna say, I think it's always appreciated, but it's never expected because same when I was a trainer and had one on one clients. Never was expected, but often was given.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

And so appreciated. But no, I did not expect that because I'm your trainer. You owe me a gift, Right?

[Nell]

Yeah, I don't. I don't think so. So don't worry about that.

[Sarah]

What is the best tip or tip story you've ever had?

[Nell]

Okay, one comes to mind. I was thinking about this earlier. So I was working at a restaurant in Ohio and I was actually bartending. It was a really slow night and this guy was there on business and I was talking about maybe moving into another line of work. And I was thinking about working at a bank, which is laughable. Now. Literally the worst part yeah. Like, I'm not even good with money. But I was like, but I need a suit for this job, whatever. But we were just talking. It was not like a oh, I'm poor, help me kind of conversation. It was just. Just, you know, you're a bartender, you're talking with your customers. And his bill, he bought some other people drinks, and it was Ohio, 15 years ago, so I think his bill was like $75. And, you know, none of the drinks are over 10.

[Sarah]

Right.

[Nell]

And he tipped me 200.

[Sarah]

Wow.

[Nell]

And he was like, you know, have a night, have a nice time, go buy the suit, whatever. Like, just enjoy it. And I thought that was really so generous.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Nell]

Because, you know, I didn't. I didn't at that time at that restaurant, I didn't usually walk with even $200 at the end of the night. So it felt really. I was like, yes. And it felt. I'll never forget it.

[Sarah]

Yeah. Huge, like, huge impact like you said, because that can really change things for the month. For paying the bills, for grocery shopping, just having a little bit more breathing room.

[Nell]

My rent was four hundred and some dollars. You know what I mean? Like, it was a. That was a really big deal at that time.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

What's yours that you.

[Sarah]

I think one of the ones that stands out the most was I, when I waited tables at the Cheesecake Factory, Ron Pompeo, like, he was infomercial guy, would come in all the time, he would ask for me. A little bit of a dirty old man because he was always trying to hit on me. But he would tip me 100 bucks every time he came in.

[Nell]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Sarah]

Just him sit at a bar, high top, usually get a drink, get some food, nothing extravagant, but always left a hundred dollar bill.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Nell]

That's really cool.

[Sarah]

Yeah. And. And that was one of those things where, like, because when I waited tables, like, I know what you make. What you were making now is nothing. Like, if you made a hundred bucks.

[Nell]

It was a good.

[Sarah]

That was a good night.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Right. So, like, you know, you could make that now at some of these restaurants in a night I had. You can make 500 in a night.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

I had to work the whole week to make 500.

[Nell]

Right.

[Sarah]

Like, and by the way, like we've said before, you could work all night long. People aren't tipping very well. It got a little, like, again, higher end restaurants. I started to do better, but like, 200 was a good night.

[Nell]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

At best.

[Nell]

And you're working your ass and you're.

[Sarah]

Working Ass off, praying that you get a good section, good tables, whatever. But yeah, that was those ones where it was like, oh my God, this is going to totally change because it's almost like picking up a whole nother shift.

[Nell]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Sarah]

It's like literally like picking up a whole nother shift.

[Nell]

Yeah. It's so nice. And I'm thankful. And I'm thankful that I'm going to be able to continue to do that for people when it's appropriate, when I can.

[Sarah]

Yeah, you know, it's fun. So there it is, you guys. We covered tipping. I know. Maybe it doesn't always like seem like, oh, the funniest. Sometimes we're over here laughing our asses off and other times we're just trying to help it out and we're trying to talk through it all.

[Nell]

Yeah, I think. And I actually really would be interested to hear some of our listeners insight on this subject because people who listen to us listen from all over the country and other parts of the world and I'd love to hear if you agree with us, if you think we're missing a point. I'm into it.

[Sarah]

Or like if you know, like, I mean, gosh, we did a whole episode on etiquette. Like what is the etiquette? Like you tip here, you tip there. You don't tip here, you don't tip. What is it? Tell us. Yeah, we want to know. Everything's perfect. Podcast, gmail.com or Instagram.

[Nell]

Everything's perfect. Official. And we love to hear from you all. And with that, until next time when we talk about just the tip. Just kidding. I can't believe we went this whole episode without making a just the tip.

[Sarah]

I know, right? That's actually, actually good job.

[Nell]

Have a good one, you guys. See you next time.

[Dutch Vet Sponsor]

Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24,7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.