Everything’s Perfect…Except Our Hopes And Dreams

Summary

Episode Summary: "Everything’s Perfect…Except Our Hopes And Dreams"

Date Released: August 5, 2025

In this heartfelt and candid episode of Everything's Perfect, hosts Autumn Calabrese and Donald Stamper delve deep into the complexities of hopes and dreams. Amidst personal anecdotes and genuine reflections, they explore the challenges of pursuing ambitions, the impact of societal pressures, and the importance of resilience. Here's a comprehensive breakdown of their engaging conversation.

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1. Opening Reflections: The State of Our Dreams

Timestamp: [00:00 – 03:24]

The episode begins with Autumn humorously lamenting the state of their dreams: “let's talk about our hopes and our dreams. They're all dead” ([00:00]). Donald counters with a message of perseverance, urging listeners not to give up on their aspirations: “When it comes to hoping and dreaming, don't stop” ([00:10]). This sets the tone for an episode centered on reigniting and reevaluating personal goals.

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2. Personal Health Journeys and Support Systems

Timestamp: [03:24 – 08:17]

Autumn and Donald share personal experiences related to health and wellness. Donald mentions his upcoming trip to Tijuana for stem cell treatments, highlighting the lengths one might go to achieve desired health outcomes: “I'm gonna go to Mexico because her... stem cells” ([00:10]). Autumn expresses skepticism about the practicality and safety of such treatments but ultimately supports Donald’s decision, emphasizing the importance of seeking necessary care.

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3. Defining and Evolving Dreams

Timestamp: [08:17 – 15:51]

The conversation shifts to the evolution of their dreams from childhood to adulthood. Autumn recounts her early desire to entertain, aiming for a “big life in Hollywood” and feeling out of alignment when not living up to that vision: “I felt like this is not my life” ([04:41]). Donald reflects on his own early aspirations to entertain and how his dreams have matured over time, focusing more on making a meaningful impact rather than sheer fame.

Notable Quote:

• Autumn: “I've always wanted to entertain. Different than what I thought” ([04:41]).

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4. Parental Influence and Encouragement

Timestamp: [15:51 – 19:23]

Autumn and Donald discuss the role of their parents in shaping their dreams. Donald shares his mother's ambiguous encouragement, where “anything's possible” felt more like a vague reassurance rather than concrete support ([08:38]). Autumn describes her father's overprotectiveness, which limited her ability to pursue her passions fully: “my dad was the most overprotective, strict” ([09:07]).

Notable Quote:

• Donald: “Nothing ventured, nothing gained… life’s short. Go after what you want” ([10:27]).

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5. Facing Rejection and Building Resilience

Timestamp: [19:24 – 27:16]

Autumn opens up about her experience auditioning for "Biggest Loser," detailing the emotional toll of repeated rejections and the subsequent soul-crushing disappointment when she didn’t get the role: “this was soul crushing to me” ([27:16]). Donald empathizes, discussing how the abundance of talent on social media can foster self-doubt and hinder one’s confidence in pursuing dreams: “they’re eating people left and right” ([21:09]).

Notable Quote:

• Autumn: “Nothing is a sure thing, so you might as well go after what the fudge you want” ([10:34]).

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6. The Impact of Social Media and Comparison

Timestamp: [21:09 – 28:08]

Both hosts explore how social media influences their perception of success and talent. Donald expresses frustration with seeing exceptional talents online, which sometimes makes him question his own abilities: “I didn’t know people could sing” ([21:09]). Autumn discusses her strategy of “hustle in silence,” focusing on personal growth without external validation: “hustle and hustle in silence” ([19:24]).

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7. Generosity and Making an Impact

Timestamp: [44:31 – 58:37]

Autumn shares a poignant story about supporting an ex-boyfriend by purchasing baby essentials, illustrating the ripple effects of generosity: “this is somebody who was eight years younger than me … I wish there was somebody who could have got me when I was down on my luck” ([55:30]). Donald recounts his own acts of generosity, such as donating to a family’s adoption process, reinforcing how small acts can create significant positive changes in others' lives: “you’re never going to know your greatest strength if you don’t lift to a point where you’ll find failure” ([44:31]).

Notable Quote:

• Autumn: “This is somebody who was eight years younger than me … I wish there was somebody who could have got me when I was down on my luck” ([55:30]).

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8. Manifesting Dreams: Visualization vs. Feeling

Timestamp: [58:37 – 64:21]

Donald and Autumn delve into the concept of manifesting dreams, distinguishing between visual and feeling manifesters. Donald identifies as a feeling manifester, focusing on the emotions and sensations associated with achieving his dreams rather than a concrete image: “I can totally, it's like I can feel all my senses are showing me what it will feel like when I'm there” ([50:00]). Autumn acknowledges her inclination towards both methods but admits to hesitancy in voicing her material dreams due to fear of judgment.

Notable Quote:

• Donald: “Feeling like my body and my mind and my spirit knows how I'll feel in these moments” ([50:00]).

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9. Current Dreams and Future Goals

Timestamp: [64:21 – 68:05]

In the episode’s closing segment, both hosts share their current dreams and actionable goals. Autumn reveals her ambitious project to launch a grocery and beverage line aimed at simplifying healthy meal prep: “I have been working on a grocery and beverage line for two years now” ([64:42]). Donald discusses his immediate goal of quitting two jobs to focus on music and writing, emphasizing his commitment to aligning his career with his passion for making a positive impact: “quitting two of my jobs that I have” ([67:14]).

Notable Quote:

• Autumn: “I have been working on a grocery and beverage line for two years now” ([64:42]).

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10. Closing Remarks: Encouragement and Action

Timestamp: [68:07 – End]

Autumn and Donald conclude the episode by encouraging listeners to vocalize their dreams and take tangible steps toward achieving them. They emphasize that no dream is too big or too small and reinforce the importance of persistence: “No dream is too big or too small. Don’t let anybody tell you it’s not possible” ([58:45]). The hosts invite listeners to share their dreams in the comments and take the first step toward making them a reality.

Notable Quote:

• Autumn: “No dream is too big or too small. Don’t let anybody tell you it’s not possible” ([58:45]).

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Key Takeaways:

• Persistence is Crucial: Despite setbacks and rejections, continuing to pursue one’s dreams is essential for eventual success.

• Impact of Social Media: While it can be a source of inspiration, social media often leads to unhealthy comparisons that can diminish self-confidence.

• Generosity Enhances Dreams: Acts of kindness and support not only help others but also reinforce one’s own sense of purpose and fulfillment.

• Manifesting Through Emotion and Visualization: Understanding one’s unique way of manifesting dreams—whether through visualization or emotional connection—can enhance the pursuit of goals.

• Balancing Practicality with Passion: Combining practical steps with passionate pursuits ensures that dreams remain attainable and grounded.

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Autumn and Donald offer a genuine and relatable exploration of dreams and aspirations, providing listeners with both inspiration and practical insights on navigating the often tumultuous journey toward achieving their goals. This episode serves as a reminder that while life may be imperfect, actively striving for one’s dreams imbues life with purpose and fulfillment.

Transcript

[A]

Okay, let's talk about our hopes and our dreams. They're all dead.

[B]

Hopes, never dreams.

[A]

I haven't met them. They went away with my youth.

[B]

Do yourself a favor. When it comes to hoping and dreaming, don't stop. Hence, recording too, today, because I'm gonna go to Mexico because her. Her dreams and goals and dreams and visions haven' got her treatment in the US Yet.

[A]

So I was dying because we just released the episode on Beauty, and you were talking about how your experience of going to Tijuana for your. What was it for?

[B]

It's cool. Sculpting.

[A]

Sculpting. And I'm, like, totally mocking you. Like, you went to Tijuana, and now I'm going to Tijuana. Stem cells.

[B]

Can we record two episodes this week? Because I'm going to Tijuana for a treatment. I was like, sure. What are you getting done? I'll go, I know.

[A]

And I'm not even as brave as you, driving my own car over. They're like, yeah, we pick you up in San Diego and drive you over the border. I'm like, I'm pretty sure somebody's gonna have to buy me back.

[B]

It's not brave. No, it's not bravery. It's stupidity that I did that. Like, especially because so many people. There are so many services. They'll pick you up and. And bring you.

[A]

Which is what I'm doing. But I'm also like, they'll pick me up and bring me where? Yeah, to the hospital. We'll figure it out. So hopes and dreams. I hope and dream that I'm coming.

[B]

Do you have to be. Do you have to go? Do you have to get any type of anesthesia for your. No, because I'm like, girl, you might fall asleep. Who knows where you're gonna wake up?

[A]

No, I wake up without a.

[B]

No, no. I'm gonna make a weight loss joke.

[A]

But please, while they're under. No, I go for a week. Because they do stuff to prep your body for it. So it's a place called cpi. Like, actually, like, all the UFC fighters go and stuff. It's because they don't allow certain types of stem cell treatment here in the US Yet. And so the best kind that you can get, you can do it right over the border.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

I know. I'm like, I'm here. I got. I hope it does youthful things to my skin. Yeah, me too, because I'll tear a Rotator C and stuff.

[B]

Yeah. I'm like, I know what I'm doing. I'm gonna let you be the guinea.

[A]

Pig and see what happens, man.

[B]

If I come back six months from now. Yep.

[A]

But, yeah, no, I don't have to go under or anything. You do, like, IVs of, like, NAD plus, you do hyperbaric. You do.

[B]

What's hyperbaric?

[A]

A hyperbaric oxygen chamber. So it, like, really oxygenates your body. It helps clear out inflammation. That's a big thing. So that when they put the stem cells in, they're not trying to already clear out a bunch of inflammation. It's like. It's cleared out more like. So it can go right to the injury anyhow. Cool. Yeah. Should we talk about dreams?

[B]

Sure. Let's talk about these dreams and ambitions and goals.

[A]

Martin Luther King had it right. He had a dream. Lots of people have dreams. Whether or not.

[B]

I don't think this should be in the episode, guys, it didn't work out very well for him. But I don't. I think that was a little.

[A]

That was a little too below the bell. I don't put that in there.

[B]

People used to say that about Jesus. And I used to be like, well, he died in his early 30s, so. But I guess he rose, so I don't know.

[A]

So, anyways, we digress.

[B]

Sorry about that. Squirrel.

[A]

Dreams.

[B]

How to dream.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of people have dreams. It also reminds me. Opening line of Pretty Woman or the closing line of Pretty Woman. Everybody come to Hollywood got a dream.

[B]

That's right. What's your dream?

[A]

What's your dream? Yeah, a lot of people have dreams. Most people don't act on them. Most people don't go after their dreams, or they do, and they fall short before they actually accomplish it. So I think that's what we're digging into today.

[B]

I'm here for it. I love talking about this because my. I. I feel like. I don't know if the average person sees their life becoming like how I thought mine was meant to become when I was little. And that's what dreaming is. And maybe everyone else does. I mean, we only have our own experience. But I thought that. I believed that I was a big deal.

[A]

Boo. You are a big deal.

[B]

I think so, too. But. But it is interesting, and I'm sure we'll get into this life. And maturity has changed a little bit how I perceive my dreams. And I think at the time I thought, so what. So what when you. What did you want to be when you grew up?

[A]

Madonna. I swear to God, I want, like, I knew always, like, it's a joke that I came out of the womb. Dancing. Like, I knew I wanted to entertain. I ended up in the entertainment field. Different than what I thought. Right. Like, because I'm in fitness. And that's how I've ended up having a platform, which I actually ended up thinking is like the best of both worlds. But I thought I was going to dance, I thought I was going to act. But the real dream was to get to Hollywood. Like, Hollywood, you know, little Midwest girl growing up in Cleveland. I wanted to get to Hollywood and I wanted to. I knew I was supposed to live a really big life. So anytime I wasn't living my big life, I felt so out of alignment. Like, I didn't even feel right in my body. Like, I felt like this is not my life. Life like this. I know this isn't my life. I know I'm not supposed to be in this position. Like, this is like. So, yeah, I knew the dream. I mean, I think I was like 12 years old when I was sending away for brochures to, like, ucla, because I just, like, I didn't know how I was gonna get out here, but I knew I was gonna get out here.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I pretty much the same. My. I wanted to be an entertainer even before I realized, like, from very young, I wasn't thinking, I want to be an entertainer, but I was always entertaining and singing and dancing and putting on shows for our family. Yeah, I loved it. Exactly. And the. It turned into a desire to. Like, when I was a teenager, I was like, I want to be a singer. And I think I. I'm in an interesting place with that now. But I think actually my dream has just always been to really. I just really want to be in front of people and, And. And making a change. But like, my presence, the words I say, the things I do, the. If I'm seeing it, whatever it is to really affect some people, like to. For them to be moved by it, touched by it, to just. And so I think, honestly, that has been my dream. And it's just taking different pictures along the way.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But it. It was something that I was. Thought that I was meant to be, like, prayed about it. I knew that I was supposed to be the main character, which were all the main characters.

[A]

Yes, But. But some people actually don't allow themselves to be their own main character. Like, some people will suppress for. For many reasons, whether it's been something that's happened in life that are people putting them down or somebody telling them it's not possible. So I think, yeah, everybody absolutely should feel like the main character, the leading lady, the leading guy in their life. But I don't think that that always happens just because of life circumstances.

[B]

Yeah. And people find themselves putting in situations where they feel required to put others first or other things first, like, you know, having kids young, getting in a relationship young. All that stuff starts to complicate it. And sometimes it's easy to lose sight of. Of your dreams.

[A]

So were you always encouraged to go after your dream or were you more.

[B]

I was not. Okay. My. My mom was encouraging, but in a very. Like, she loved us. And. And this is how I perceived it. Anyways, I'd be interested to see. Hear what she thought.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But it was very, like, it felt like her saying, well, anything's possible. And it's like, okay, you don't believe in me. You're just not being mean.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what I mean.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But in fact, that sounds like, possible but not probable, but not for you. But my.

[A]

So wait, she would say. It is like. You would say, like, I want to be a movie star. And she would say, well, anything's possible. So not really in the, like, yeah, baby, absolutely, like, but in the, like, totally. Sure.

[B]

And both of my parents be. Probably because of their lives at the time and the path it took, and this was their way of loving us and protecting us. Anything that my brothers and I would say that was like, out there of what we wanted to do, it would be followed with. A lot of people have that dream a lot, you know, And I get it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because I know them at the time. They're like, they don't want us to be hurt. They don't want us to put all of our eggs in one basket. They have fear of. But so it was. It was challenging and to. I feel like I'm jumping around points in my life a lot. But later on in life, when my dad, I talked about in last week's episod or the episode where we talked about college, how my dad later went to college when he lost his, quote, sure thing job at General Motors and had to pivot and figure out life. His. The tone of his advice went from, you know, well, a lot of people want that. I don't know if it's gonna happen. This is a sure thing to nothing. I've learned nothing ventured, nothing gained. And really, life's short. Go after what you want. And so, yeah, it really took, like, the earth sort of rattling his world, you know, or whatever, just made that expression up. But you get what I'm saying. His career or job yeah.

[A]

His, like, legs being knocked out from under him.

[B]

Exactly. To realizing, wow, nothing is a sure thing, so you might as well go after what the fudge you want.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And actually I want to give my brother Joey a shout. A shout out. Last week he played at Carnegie Hall.

[A]

Oh, like, go, Joe.

[B]

I just chills and I remember and. And it's easy. And if you're someone who maybe is struggling believing in your own dream, I would encourage you to start by gassing up others for their dreams. And then you'll start to get in that energy. And when Joey got signed with the band he's in called Anthem Lights, we had this, like, going away party for him because he was moving to Nashville. And I had, you know, back then they'd show the VH1 like who making of. Exactly. And they showed Justin Timberlake and that you see about when they started with the band and didn't have a lot of money and everything. And I was thinking of that and I just like, called attention to everyone at the party and said, I think there's this moment in our life and it's easy to let them slip by, but it's the moment where everything changed and your life is heading in a direction that's extraordinary and something that you could have only dreamed of. And this is one of those moments for Joey. And so it's so cool that he got to play at Carnegie Hall.

[A]

That's amazing.

[B]

Yeah. I mean that for a musician, he was.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I should show you the picture. He's playing a grand piano in the middle with the whole orchestra and everything surrounding him. But he's, like, centered. And he was playing with this Christian artist who was singing there. But it was just. It's such a cool accomplishment. Yeah. But I digress.

[A]

No, but like, in general, for childhood, you guys weren't necessarily, like, encouraged hardcore. Like we.

[B]

I don't. That I remember that way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I lived in a world of hard knocks. Like, seeing that around, like, that's just what life was at the time. And so it was weird because I had this feeling inside of me that knew I was special.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I had places in life I wanted to go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I was surrounded, you know, by a world that just didn't really. It didn't like how one thing gonna lead to the next.

[A]

And I think so many people feel that way. And I. I know I grew up the same way. Like hard knocks. Blue collar, small town, middle America, as you can get in Ohio. So here's what's interesting. Because my dad raised Us. I would say that my dad did encourage us, but also. Okay, let me explain it. So my dad would always say, like, do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life. So, okay, like, that was in my head. So I knew, like, great. Like, I, I want to dance. That's what I want to do. Do something you love. You're never gonna work a day in your life because you love it. Great. And so, like, I took dance classes, but I actually ended up having to pay for them because, like, financially they couldn't afford it. Like, my dad couldn't afford it. My mom wasn't helping, so it was like, okay. But then, you know, I would get these glimmers. I would get these little moments. So, like, I was taking at this dance studio called Spotlight Dance center in Mayfield Heights, Ohio, and I loved my teacher Lisa, and she had a sister. Her sister was Gina and Gina dance. Gina lived in la. But then the big earthquake hit, the Northridge earthquake hit and their house got destroyed in it, and her and her husband ended up moving back to Ohio, and Gina ended up sort of co owning and running the studio with Lisa. So it was like this glimmer of like, oh, my gosh, somebody that's been to Hollywood, somebody that's been out there. And she would always talk about the Edge Performing Arts center. And. And like, when you get to, you know, when you girls, if you ever go to la, like, Edge is where it's at. And so, like, there were these nuggets that would get planted of like, I got to get there and I've got to get to the Edge Performing Arts center, which, by the way, I. I did get to dance at the performing. I did get to take class at Edge. It's closed now. The pandemic ended up closing it down, which is insane. But so there were these moments. But also, my dad was the most overprotective, strict, wouldn't let me do anything. So I was allowed to go take dance classes and I was allowed to be like, go to competitions with the dance team. He must have trusted them. And there were very few people that my dad trusted. But, like, when I was ready to go to la, it was kind of like, well, you're out of your mind. And I'm like, well, I'm old enough to do it, so you can't stop me. But I. It was at that point, like, it was like a you. Like, then it was a protective, like, I don't want to let you go. I don't trust it. It's And I was like, bye. Yeah, I'm going, like, I'm gonna make this work. And I mean, don't get me wrong, when I got here, like, I got stories for days. I'll. But on the other hand, coming to la, my mother was not encouraging. Like, I remember my mom saying to me, like, I don't quote me, but it was. This was the premise. It was, what makes you think you're any better than anybody else that goes there to pursue what you're going to pursue? Like, why do you think you're going to make it? And it wasn't a nice way. It was a. Oh, you're going to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you're going to be the chosen one. And it's funny because in my mind, I'm like, why do you think anybody else is different than me? Like, when you look at a Brad Pitt, when you look at a Julia Roberts, when you look at, you know, a Sigourney Weaver, when you look at all these, like, major stars. Right? Because this was. I was 17 at the time. So, like, you. You look at their behind the scene when you look at Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears, like little towns. They just had a dream and they had parents that actually backed them up. But, like, somebody had to believe in them and get them from that little place that they were to where they were going. And I was like, okay, well, that didn't happen for me as a kid, but now I'm gonna get myself to that place. So, yes, I do think that I could be just as good. I didn't end up. I did get my SAG card. So I do actually have my SAG card, but not for talent. I just happened to be standing in the right place during the filming of a commercial. I was background talent, but where I was standing put me in the foreground and I got bumped up. And, yeah, it was like my third voucher, so I got my SAG card. But I could audition for some of those movies anyways. So, yeah, I didn't have the huge encouragement to go do it. But what for me, you know, I'm full of piss and vinegar. So, like, when you tell me I can't. Yeah, that might actually be the best motivation you can give me because I'm like, oh, really? Watch men and I'll go work as hard as I have to work not only to prove myself right, but to prove somebody else wrong.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which, you know, isn't necessarily always maybe the healthiest mindset to have. But it worked. Like, it worked to get me to where I am. So I guess I'm grateful for that mindset.

[B]

That's interesting. I. That's great. I wish I was like that. When people don't encourage me or discourage me or say, I can't, I, I, I feel a little defeated. I don't feel that, like, oh, I'll show you. I'm like, what if they're right? Like, and really begin to doubt things that I know.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I have gotten better as I've gotten. Well, it's kind of weird because I look back on my, like, early 20 self. Self, and I was like, you couldn't tell that.

[A]

Couldn't tell me nothing.

[B]

I knew what I was doing. I knew who the I was. And if you didn't see it, then you had a problem with your eyeballs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what? I.

[A]

Same.

[B]

So it's funny because now looking back, I'm. I'm not like that now.

[A]

I think it ties into you. Tell me. But this is what I think. I think the world that we live in now on social media, with everybody having a opinion about everything and a bunch of keyboard warriors who are doing nothing with their life sitting there telling everybody why they're doing it wrong or they're not going to make it or they're not good enough, it does take a wear and tear. Like, it does start to take a toll. Like, because I would say the same thing. 20s, even 30s. Like, if I said I was gonna do it, I. I got this. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna be a fitness competitor. Sign with Bodi. I got this. What do you need me to make happen? I'll do it. And only in the. Like, the last. I would say, like, the last. Have people. I have. I let other people's opinions make me question myself. But I've learned to, you know, hustle and hustle in silence.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Shut it out. Don't tell people what you're doing. Just let the work speak for itself. Like, when I do that, it makes it a little bit easier. It doesn't make it easy because, again, I think we're also competing with so many other people in categories that, like, it used to be you had to get your butt out here and you had to be here to make it work and to be able to even have those opportunities. And now it's open to every single person in the entire world that has a smartphone in their hand that they now have the same opportunities. So, like, they're living somewhere where it's more affordable and maybe they don't have to Work two jobs to pay the rent because their rent is way cheaper than yours or my mortgage. And so they have more time to dedicate to the passion and the thing like that. So it's. It's an interesting.

[B]

And even if you are here, you're competing against all of them because, yeah, if you go to an audition, which I'm not in a phase of my life where I'm going to auditions on a normal basis, but they. They look at your social media, they look at all of that, and it's like, you better because talent is not all that it is. And also the talent pool is so much bigger. Wanting to be someone who's saying who. Like, the. The time that I wanted to be a singer and I love music, my family's very musical, and I think, like, Joey's a professional musician and singer, but I really was the singer of our family. And something that really, actually I wasn't prepared for and kind of set me back a little bit was people singing on social media because I started to see real amazing talent.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And it wasn't like my pride needed to be like, oh, no. I was like, oh, okay, there's some monsters out here. And they are. They're just eating people left and right. Like, they don't give a fuck. And they're singing like, I didn't know people could sing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so all of the sudden I started to, like, if in my 20s, if someone met me, they knew I was a singer.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Now, I'm sure a lot of my friends that I know have no idea that that's a part of who I am and. And something that I love to do. And so it's interesting because comparison, I think Bre Brown says something like, comparison is the thief of joy. And it's so true. And I've actually just. I'm not plugging it because it's not polished, but I never use my TikTok. And I was like, I missed singing and I missed having a place for it, like, being vulnerable. It doesn't have to be perfect. I'm not in a place where I'm singing live a lot, so. And I miss singing church songs. I kind of gave that up when I came out and all of that was tied up into my dream. And so I just recently started rant singing while I do skincare stuff in the bathroom. Random old gospel songs I used to sing on Tik Tok. And I'm going to. So by the time. By the time this comes up out, there'll probably be like dozens on there because I was like, donald, you forgot that you don't have to be the best to do something you love.

[A]

Can I just stop you for one second and let. And I know you're going to bake. Oh, whatever. You're my friend. You are a phenomenal singer. And everybody is like, there are people that are phenomenal in their own ways, and that's where we get lost sometimes. It's like, well, they can belt out this thing, or they can hit that high note. I'm sort of speaking in the singing world right now. Like, I remember watching the documentary the Greatest Night in Pop, when all of, like, the best singers in the world got together to sing. Is it We Are the World?

[B]

I think so.

[A]

It was to raise money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And when you watch that documentary, you're literally like, it's Bruce Spring sing. Michael Jackson. Like, Diane Diana. Like, they're all there. Cindy Lauper. And as they. Billy Joel, like, as they're standing next to each other, they're all like. Like, when they do their individual interviews, talking about, like, how scared they were because it was like Bruce Springsteen was like, I got the voice that sounds like, you know, cut glass. And, like, this person is, like, so smooth. And the other person's like, well, they're. You know, they. They could belt it out. And I'm just like the. You know. And you're thinking about all these musicians who are all biggest names in pop, right? And they're all insecure standing next to the other biggest name in pop. And so it's like, don't care.

[B]

Yeah, that's a really good point. I'm glad that you said that. It makes me feel good because that is it. I. I just got to a place, and this is, like, where I am now. And then we can talk more about, like, the journey of getting to your dreams, because mine isn't as wrapped up in singing as it was, But I have so much joy wrapped up in singing. And I was like, if you don't sing because you're not the best, if you don't feel comfortable at the pool because you're not the fittest, if you don't go down the list, what is your life?

[A]

Yeah. What are you. What are you doing?

[B]

Like, start doing what the makes you happy, whether someone else arguably does it better or different or whatever, and just do things that bring you joy. So I'm happy because I feel like there's been, you know, so many ebbs and flows that comes with life, especially when you're. Or someone who has Dreams and big ambitions, and I'm finding this comfortability in who I am. Maybe not. Maybe not where I'm at. I want to progress, but just showing up at the table as who the fuck I am. And if you don't like what I got to offer, then fine.

[A]

Thank you. Next.

[B]

Somebody does. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

So, yeah, I think that's so important, like, because I also see so many people. It's like, oh, well, they're already doing it, so I guess I can't. And it's. I remember when I first signed with Bodi, like, I'll give a little, but I'm not going to say any names. But they were worried. There was one trainer that had already been with the company for a while, and it was like, well, this person's not going to be happy that you're here. And you know me, just star eye, doughy eye, so excited to be a part of this company that I've loved. And I'm like, why? There's plenty to go around. Like, I'm not the only trainer out there. They're not the only trainer out there. There's a million trainers. Like, people need help, and they're. They're going to want to try different trainers, and they're going to want. Like, I just remember thinking that at the time, like, there's so much to go around, and even out, there's so much to go around. And I really believe that that goes for any dream that we have. Like, even if somebody else has already achieved it, that doesn't mean there's not room for the next person at the table. But you have to know, you have to truly believe that there is room. And I. I do think when people ask me, like, well, how did you get to where you are? And I'm like, I guess maybe I'm just stupid enough to believe that I deserve a spot at the table. Like, why? Why wouldn't I deserve to live the life that I want to live? Yeah, like, why wouldn't you deserve to live the life? Now there another question comes up, which is, are you willing to do the work? Because you can have a dream, but if you're not willing to put in the work and you just want it handed to you, well, sorry, that's not how life goes. You better be willing to work. Work harder than anybody else, work longer. You better not expect it to be on your timeline. Because, like, I could tell you, if I expected to reach my goals on what was my timeline, I wouldn't have kept going because I thought I was Going to come to LA and like in the first year or two, I was going to like hit it big and all the things. And yeah, it just took like 12 years longer than that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And a lot of doors slammed in my face.

[B]

Same.

[A]

And if you let any of those doors look, they're gonna knock you down. If somebody slams the door in your face and you're standing too close to it. This is my metaphor. Of course you're gonna fall back, fall over, fall down. If you stay down, that's where the problem lies. But if you can get back up and that's really where like, it's that mental fortitude of you can have. The emotions don't become the emotion. You can feel it. You can feel sad. Like, I remember when I was auditioning for Biggest Loser and it was like four months of auditioning and tape after tape. And this was before there were cell phones that would record video. So it was like, you really had to like, do this, record it, upload it, send it, submit it, all the things. Four months made it down to me and one other person. And I remember it was like, on Friday, the casting director called me and she was like, I'm pushing so hard for you, but if you don't get it, you'll understand why when they make. Because they're making the announcement on Monday. So here I am on Monday, like, checking tv, checking news sources, waiting to see who's the next trainer on the Biggest Loser. And the longer the day went on, the more I knew it wasn't to be me, because I was like, I would have found out by now. And then, sure, sure enough, they announced that it was Anna Cornova. And I remember, like, it was soul crushing to me. Like, I, I had already been in the field of training people for 10 years and built a name up for myself and worked so hard. And like, this is no disrespect to Anacornova, but, like, she was a tennis star, not somebody who trained people for a living. And so, like, there was a moment where I was like, just so angry about it and so sad about it. Like, I remember sitting on my couch and I was crying and I was on the phone with my friend and I was like, I just don't get it. Like, when is it gonna happen? Like, I love working with people one on one, but 15 hours a day and there's only so much, like, I can only make so much money training people one on one because there's only so many hours in a day.

[B]

Right.

[A]

California is not cheap and raising A kid is not cheap. On my own, all the things. Great. I had my pity party that night, but it was like, okay, well, are you done? Are you done being a trainer? Is this not what you really want? And I'm like, no, no. Oh, I'm not done. Hold on. I just had a moment, but, like, right back up and right back at it. You know, I think a lot of people will pursue a dream because it's something that their family wants for them, and then that's when you don't want to put the work in, or it's something that somebody told them they should do, or they started it thinking it would be one way, and it's not. And it's okay to pivot.

[B]

Totally. And it's okay. Like, for me, singing was a big part of it, but I found out singing is something that I enjoy, but it was just a potential avenue to my dream. My dream wasn't.

[A]

What is your dream? What's your dream?

[B]

I want to hold on. What?

[A]

Do not filter yourself, okay? Because I just watched that happen real quick.

[B]

Well, it's not that I was filtering myself. It's like, how do I best represent my dream? With words.

[A]

Because this is actually out, and then we can clean it up.

[B]

Well, I was gonna say to be famous.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But it's. I. I don't know if it's because of how I was raised in church, and like, you guys, if you're listening, it's not like, oh, yeah, I went to church growing up. I was in church every day. It feels like when I watched, I've said before, those documentaries on Netflix about surviving a cult, I'm like, I did that. I survived that.

[A]

Not me. Him.

[B]

Right. And so I don't know if because of who I am or because of how I was raised and the stories I heard, I wanted to change the world in a positive, and that's still my dream. It doesn't matter to me if it's because of how I was raised or not. It's still where I find myself today. And so the cool story for me.

[A]

So your dream is to change the world, like, leave a mark on the world in a positive way that you are known for leaving that mark.

[B]

Yeah. And I think the best way I can say it is just the reason I say be famous is because it's by being the personality. It's by, like, doing a show like this. It's about opening my heart and my experience and using my voice to hopefully connect with people and make people feel less alone, make people feel More inspired. And so I know that's very abstract, but that. That is the best way I can describe my dream. I felt inspired and moved, especially in church and spiritual settings, by music. And so music was especially. That kind of music was really important to me. And when I. Coming out was a long process for me, and it's because of the church aspect, but when I. I sort of gave up the. The idea that I would be able to have a platform because I literally grew up in a world where people looked at me and said, if you're gay, I don't think it's right for you to sing on the stage. And I would just have to say, I'm not. Why would you say that to me, girl? No, but. And, and honestly, there, it makes me sad because there's a lot of artistic gay people who have grown up in church and experienced the same thing that I have. But I felt like I gave up the platform. I felt like people wouldn't trust me or. Or respect me as much. And very shortly after that is when I started doing Beachbody. And then this seems like a blink of an eye, but within two years of that, we were filming 80 Day Obsession. And six months later, I started getting the messages of people saying, like, how much my presence there made them know that they could do it and how much of an impact me being in that space had on their lives. From total strangers, not like friends who are giving a compliment, people who had to seek me out, remembered my name from a random time at being said, not just being called D, but finding me online, all the things. And I was like, like, wow, this is part of my dream. And it's actually a bigger platform than I was on track to get right when I was doing other things. And that's when my mind opened up to, okay, the dream. My dream isn't limited to just the avenue that I thought was going to get me there. It's probably very similar to you and like dance, you know, you're what. What you're meant to do is still calls to you, even though the closer you get to it, the more that you can see what actually is right. And I think I'm still there. But if I really look back, if I think about the literal thousands of messages I got and the, you know, there was a. It was a really exciting time when people. This isn't a big deal to a really famous person, but when people were making T shirts with my sayings and sending me that stuff and writing me messages saying thank you, and I was like, wow. I'm making the difference that I wanted to make, and so now that's what I want to do, but bigger. And I want to do it in a lot of ways. And I. I think the cool thing about having that being my dream is I get to do that in a lot of ways. I can do that by speaking. And I've gotten to do speaking gigs. I was sitting at. I'm talking a lot, but.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I was sitting at your house before. Your old house.

[A]

Calabasas.

[B]

Yes. And we were. I was, like, feeling really torn because I built a life for myself in Nashville, and. And I was like, am I really gonna leave that or try to balance it? And you were like, what do you want to do? And I said, why? One thing is, I'd like to be a speaker. I'd like to be a motivational speaker. And you were like, then be one. Like, let everything you're doing feed into that and push you towards that. And app. Because of being able to be in those programs and have that experience, I've gotten a handful of those gigs, been flown, places to speak and share my story, and it's like a reminder that your dream will be there. And it might be in different ways. You might have to take different steps, but I still think it's there. And even this conversation right now, I'm like, bitch, don't forget about your dream. Like, you, like, keep pushing, you know? And that's why we're here and taking time to do. That's why I'm here, because it's like, that's what I'm passionate about.

[A]

Yeah. I think that's amazing. It's a. And sometimes it's good to, like, really speak it out loud.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because we have it in our head and in our heart. But sometimes you don't. You might be afraid to say it out loud. Am I going to get judged? Or what are people going to think? What if I don't achieve it? Then I look like a failure. And it's like, no. Did you try? Did you give it everything you had? Only you get to decide when you're done. I say it all the time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The reason I'm here is because. Because only I would decide when I've had enough, when I've taken enough rejection. And apparently, I can take a lot of rejection.

[B]

I'm not done yet. Because if you keep going, you're going to keep experiencing rejection no matter what.

[A]

I think I remember reading a magazine article, and I think it was Halle Berry. Like, this was like, I think I was like reading Cosmo or something. I don't know. She had done an interview and it was like asking her, like, what was the best advice she could give about people pursuing their dream. I think it was kind of what it was actually about. And she, she, she said, don't be afraid to ask because the worst that can happen is somebody can say no. And I really internalized that and have led with that of like, the, the worst that can happen is that they could say no. And that's. I can survive no. It sucks. It doesn't mean it doesn't sting. It doesn't mean it doesn't plant a little seed of self doubt sometimes. But I can survive no. And I can keep going after a no. And. Okay, so what if you get embarrassed? Or what if it doesn't look perfect? Like, I deal with a lot of that feeling now again on social media, because I, you know, almost when you don't have the platform, it's like, whatever, fumble through it and you'll figure it out. And then by the time you figure it out, maybe you've grown the platform and it's like, well, my platform actually started on TV with infomercials and live stages. Like, the first live stage with Beachbody was 10,000 people at the MGM grand in Las Vegas. But it was like, live. I wasn't in charge of producing that show. I was in charge of showing up and doing my thing. Same thing. Like, I wasn't in charge of producing my workouts. I was in charge of writing them and getting in front of that camera and inspiring people. Because that's my dream is very similar to yours. It was to really motivate and inspire people through what I was doing. Like, again, dance was so important to me because I was so moved by dance. Like, dance can make you feel so many emotions, and I think in general, movement can make you feel so many emotions. But like, even, you know, I always talk about being a child of the 80s and the 80s movies were just so like, yeah, I can do anything. Like, like all the movies. I love Dirty Dancing Girls just want to have fun adventures. But, like, there's always the underdog coming up and over. You know, they're overcoming something to win. Rocky, like, come on, man. Like, we didn't. There's no better era in movies to be inspired to go after your dreams. And I loved how those, like, I love the feeling you would get at the end. Like, every time we play Dirty Dancing and I've seen that movie, movie literally thousands of times. Like, every Time I would get up, we start dancing. Little mambo action, right? Rocky, Every time Rocky's running up the stairs, we would run around the house to. My grandparents were yelling at us and punching in the air, you know, because you're like, yeah too. I wanted to be able to give people that feeling. I didn't, I couldn't verbalize it then, but like, that empowered feeling of like, you can do anything. And again, I thought it was going to be through dance. I thought it might be through acting. It turns out it's through fitness, which I actually find to be so fun because this is, this is my body, this is me getting to really be me and show all my strengths and all my weaknesses and all the good and all the hard and that we could still end up right where we want to be. We could still achieve the things. Like, I still have moments where I, like, look around and I'm like, how the frig do I live here? Yeah, like, how the frig? Like, 10 years ago, I was in a one bedroom apartment. Like, that is all my hard work. That is all of my. I know I can do this. That is the, you know, pushing when everybody told me it wasn't going to be possible anymore. And even now with things being in a little bit harder position with the industry changing, I still have new dreams and I still have things that I'm like, I'm not. I'm so far from done. And I might. I almost feel like I'm sort of. I don't want to say back at the beginning because it's not a back at the beginning situation, but it's like a, it's not 2018 where it's like, I could just make this happen like this. It's like a, okay, this is going to take a little more work. This is going to take a little more effort.

[B]

Some different levels of creativity, different levels.

[A]

Of creativity outside the box. But I too want to leave the world a better place. Like, I want to make a mark and have it be for good. And I know that there are people out there that are going to be like, you teach disordered eating and whatever negativity they want to say. And I have learned to let that be, that they have their own thing, things and, and knowing what my goal is and that nobody's perfect at executing anything. So like, so, yeah, I just think it's important to remember that you can have the dream. The, the line to get to the jury. It's not a straight line. It's a bunch of squiggles forward and back and around in a loop de loop. And when you get to it, it might look a little different than what you thought it was going to look like. Like, and that's okay too, but you have to be open to it. Like, you have to be open to that. If A didn't work, you might have to go to BCDEFG all the way through Z and then back to A1 and 8. You know what I'm saying? Like, that you have to just keep going.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, if it's in your heart.

[B]

Yeah, I, I too am in a different place. When I moved to la, it was all green lights. I was. We were filming and. And I filmed every year, like, after that for several years. Plus I was working with Karina Smirnoff from Dancing with the Stars. And everything I was doing was creative and I loved it. And some things in the pandemic changed and I find myself now, like, doing some jobs that are just jobs. You're just like, fuck, do I. Like, do I really need a house this bad? Like, I sleep on the street. I'm just kidding. I could never. But it's difficult. And I find myself in this place where I'm trying to decide and I, I think that some people might be able to relate to this. Do I. And I'm not necessarily asking you, but the question I'm asking myself is, where's the line of me just speaking really literally quitting one of my jobs to better pursue my dream? Dreams, I'll say. Or, like, buckle down even harder and keep pursuing my dreams? Like, am I just saying that job is getting in the way when it's actually not? And I know that it's emotionally draining. And that's the biggest thing. It's not even how taxing it is on my time, it's how taxing it is on my creativity and ability to. To, you know, pursue other things. So it's interesting because it's like I have these for my life, really amazing highs. And now I'm sort of in this valley of. Well, back to the grind.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. But it is also exciting because it's like, I don't know, it gives me traction to. I can feel the, the, the weight of what I want.

[A]

Swell is there. The swell of the wave is coming.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I like it's gritty and I like that everything doesn't need to be just a nice, luxurious, smooth ride. Sometimes you can really appreciate what's happening in your life because of the sacrifice and, and the level of fear. It's sort of, like I tell people, you'll never know. You'll never find your greatest strength if. If you. In weightlifting, if you don't lift to a point where you'll find failure.

[A]

Right. Of course.

[B]

Because. But it's like, we are so afraid of failure.

[A]

Yeah. We want to stay in that comfort zone so bad, man. That, like.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You won't ever reach your true potential because you're like, it's. I want to play it safe.

[B]

Yeah. So anyways, hold on. I'm gonna text my boss and quit real fast. I'm just kidding.

[A]

Oh, my God. That was rude. Because I really thought I was like. Like, I'm about to open a bottle. We were about to celebrate on this Wednesday afternoon. I do. Listen, I. You know me, like, there is something to be said for the grit of it all. And I do think sometimes when you get to a point where everything is so good, it's where you can get complacent. I. I don't think I've ever gotten complacent, per se. Like, I mean, I've put out a program a year, sometimes two for the last. She always working 11 to 12 years, and even that could be taxing. But. But I do think there was a point where, like, you're just like, oh, my God, this is great. Like, maybe for a minute, I don't have to keep up with. I don't want to say keep up with my creativity because I don't want to make it sound like I haven't poured every single bit of my heart and soul into any program I've put out, because I absolutely have. But I just mean, like, on the outside, like, outside of Beachbody projects, Like. Like, there was a period there where I was kind of like, I'm good. Like, I don't need to do anything else. I don't need to think about anything else. Like, it's actually funny. When Influencer Marketing started, like, I would say it was like, seven years ago. Like, I remember the first couple times I got, like, these PR boxes sent to me. I. I was like, I don't understand what is. Like, I mean, great, thank you. But, like, what am I supposed to do with this? Because there were no. Like, there was nobody. I didn't have some management team to tell me, like, oh, you're supposed to do this or that, or, like, ask them for mu. Like, it took years. And there was, like, I passed up so many opportunities because I was like, I'm good. Like, I'm. I'm just doing my body thing. Like, yeah, And I didn't bother to figure out what that was. And now looking back, some of those brands, I'm like, what the. Did I do?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I call them back and be like, guys, I'm sorry, I didn't know. So I think the grit is still, like, it is a good thing to have. Look, look, money is. Money can be. First of all, money can always be earned. I do believe that. But I will say it's harder to earn it. It's a lot easier to spend it. And it, like, once you get into that free flow place, like, sometimes you're thinking more about all the fun you can be doing than, like, continuing to pursue the dream. I guess the question is like, does the dream ever stop? Does the. Does the itch ever get scratched? Or do you ever get to the point where you're like, I'm good, I'm done. I'm satisfied. I don't know. I'm not there. I have not gotten to that point.

[B]

I don't think so. Except maybe just. I don't think it's because of.

[A]

I have another question, but go ahead.

[B]

This is a total speculation because I haven't found myself reaching something that would do this. But I think most people who decide to stop, it's because they get old and they're like, okay, now. Now is the time of my life where my body's slowing down. But other than that, everyone I know who has had this big goal, once they hit their goal, they're like, okay, the dream grew. Yes, it grows with you, I think, and with your perspective, I don't think it's ever gonna end. Like, because honestly, I have Now I'm exhausted. Yeah, she's tired.

[A]

Oh, man. I love my dreams. I really want all of them to come true, but it is exhausting to think you gotta keep.

[B]

I know. I don't know. I think it's about.

[A]

A private plane would sure make it easier.

[B]

It was.

[A]

I'm trying, Boo.

[B]

I'm. I am gonna help you in your dream for that however I can.

[A]

It'll be a hard dream. You just keep raising that cup to. Everything's perfect. We're gonna have an everything perfect jet.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Okay. So I guess that's another thing, though, like, when it comes to dreams, right? Like, so I. I think you and I have very similar ones about leaving a positive impact on the world and what that means. And I can very easily say that, like, having a luxurious life has always been a dream of mine. Like, living comfortably, living more than comfortably. Like, not Only being able to live comfortably and provide for myself and Dom, but being able to provide for Dom when I'm gone. Being able to provide for my family, which I have been able to do in a lot of ways. Being able to give back, like, that's a big one, which I definitely give back. But I would love to be able to do it in a much bigger way. Like, I have so many things that I'm like, oh my gosh, and I want to do this and oh my gosh, I want to do that. And sometimes I just get overwhelmed at all of the things, all of the. And then, so then I have to start going, which ones matter most? But what I was going to say was, do you feel like having material dreams? Like, you can't say those out loud because you could judge for having a material dream.

[B]

No, I think that's, I, I think it's totally imp, I think the more you can visualize your dreams, the better. Here's the thing. And this sort of gets into like manifesting your dreams.

[A]

That was gonna be my next thing. Yes, go ahead. So I'm all for it.

[B]

I believe. I, I think that I, there are, I think I read this someplace, that there are at least two different kinds of manifestors that stick out in my mind. And one is you. You see the thing, like you are a visual manifester and so you want that pink Porsche or whatever it is. Do you see that? And everything you're doing is working towards manifesting that. And then there are feeling manifesters. And I just think by nature that is more me. I don't have a solid picture of anything that I'm really going towards, but I, I, if I close my eyes, I can totally, it's like I can feel all my senses are showing me what it will feel like when I'm there. And I am happy with that because, for example, if someone would have asked my five year plan at any point, it wouldn't have been what happened five years later. But I wouldn't change anything that happened because I think just the, the feeling that I wanted to find guided me and brought me there where. And it changes as you go. So, so I think that I am a feeling like, like my body and my mind and my spirit knows how I'll feel in these moments, right? Of achieving my dreams. And that's what's leading me there. But some people, it's like you see the house you want and that's what you work in. Then one day it's like, oh, look at the house. I'M in.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I'm both very much feeling like, very much like, I know what that's gonna feel like and I know how good that's gonna feel and how excited I'm gonna be and to be able to share this or share that. So I'm def. Like, I definitely have that as one part of manifesting, but I am also. There are things material wise that I'm like, yeah, and sometimes I'm gonna say it here because we're gonna let it all out, but, like, there are, like, I hesitate to say it because I feel like sometimes people think it's like, well, she's just being greedy or whatever. And I'm not expecting anything to be handed to me. Like, I ex. I. I want to earn all of it. Like, that is unless I win the lottery, in which case, yay, me. And I will manifest the out of that too.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I will still give back and I will still continue to do all the things and want to leave a positive impact. But that would make it a little bit easier to do. It might. Speed. Think my timeline went up a little bit.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

But, like, when I talk about, like, a private plane, I see it, I want it, I feel it. Like, when we joke about Kim Kardashian's plane, I'm not really joking. I'm like, yeah, cashmere cream color, there's a shower on it and I can just pick up and go. And by the way, I'm not like, just like, oh, I want to just pick up and go. I mean, yes, I do want to go on vacation, but I just think about, like, getting to my family in Ohio easier and how great that would be or getting my family out to me.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or like, could I potentially use that private plane to help somebody go get medical care that they might need from a place like that they might not be able to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, in my mind, I see all these benefits of, like, how, again, how I could leave a positive impact, even if it's one person. Right. Like, not every single thing I do is going to touch thousands or hundreds of thousands or millions. But, like, can you imagine if you're that one person and that that needed to get somewhere and didn't have the means and somebody else just walked in and was like, I got you.

[B]

Like, yeah, Being able to be the person who, who of. Yeah.

[A]

Who can help. Like, I'm not tooting my own horn, but I just want to give an example. Like, this is what I mean. So. So I'm in a very well off position. I've worked very hard for it. My ex boyfriend, I'll. I'll say his first name because it's not like people are gonna know. My ex boyfriend, Anthony, who I dated after I got divorced from Kent, great guy, younger than me by a lot, became friends with his family. Even after we stopped dating, we still kept in touch for a very long time. And I remember he called me one day, and the girl that he had been dating, he called me to tell me that. That she was pregnant. And I was like, oh, wow. You know, that was. It was a little bit of, like, a. A shock for me. Like, oh, wow, okay. Like, that's happening.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I remember how stressed out he was. And the hard worker definitely worked hard. She worked. But, like, again, this is somebody who was eight years younger than me. And I mean, I. I was probably in my. I was probably 34, 35. So he was in his 20s, like, late 20s, when he was calling me to tell me this. And I remember a few months later asking him, like, you know, are you excited? Da da. And he was like, yeah, I just, you know, we're stressed. We're trying to get everything we need for the baby, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, you know what? What haven't you guys gotten yet? And he, like, mentioned a crib and a high chair and. Da da. I went to Babies R Us right down the street. I bought the crib, I bought the mattress. I bought the sheets. I bought the car seat. I bought the da, da, da. And. And I texted him, and I was like, hey, you need to come meet me at Babies R Us and bring the big truck. And he was like, what? And I was like, just get over here. I'm waiting for you. And he shows up, and we're. I'm, like, standing on the curb with somebody from Babies R Us with all of it. And he's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I wish that there was somebody. When I went. When I got divorced, and it was me and, like, me and Dom, you know, I wish there was somebody. But as I was struggling paycheck to paycheck, that could have just stepped in and just a little helping hand. And I was like, I can do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he literally, like, with tears in his eyes, he's like, I can't take it. And I was like, you better put this in your truck.

[B]

I didn't drive my ass.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To this Toys R Us for myself.

[A]

And by the way, I wasn't looking for anything back from him. It Wasn't like some ploy to try to get him back in my life. That is like, I love being able to do things like that. Like, to be able. Like, that's a love language of mine of being able to surprise somebody and be like, I got you. Because there were so many times in my life that I just wish somebody could have got me when I was down on my luck, when I, you know, lost a job and didn't know how the next month's rent was going to be paid. So like, that's a dream to be able to do those things.

[B]

But even on bigger levels, I feel exactly the same. When I. It finished the, When I was on the cruise ship, when I finished the crew singing on the cruise, I had this sale that I started for Frownies before I left. And it went through and I didn't know what I was gonna do for work. I was like, am I gonna go back to a regular ass job? But I wanted to go back to Ohio because I was really close to my grandparents, parents, and my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer. He's still alive. But at the time I was like, oh my God, I can't be in the middle of the ocean. So I went back home and this account went through and all of a sudden I got a check in the mail for. It was over $20,000. And for a 21 year old in Dayton, Ohio, like, that's how much some of my friends made in a year.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it was really. I was like, oh my God. And, and that was a blessed year. That was just like, that was amazing. And you know, I remember thinking, like, I've never thought that I would see that number in my bank account. And my. There was this family at our church who was trying to adopt a kid in China. And they had done everything they could. They exhausted all of their financial resources. They probably hosted car washes like, and they were still just like, there was a deadline. And they fell in love with this baby, but they were several thousand dollars short. And when I got that, I was like, it's so I can write the check. And I, I did. So they could adopt their baby.

[A]

That's crazy. Like, think about that ripple effect that that baby's life is forever changed. Those people's lives are forever changed. And, and those like, generations now. Like your check.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And it's not about necessarily telling the world that you did it obviously, like, how long ago that you were. 20. That was 20 years ago.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I. I've known you for almost nine years and I've never heard that story before because. Because it's not about bragging. It's not about doing it to brag. It's about just doing it because it feels good.

[B]

So, like, I totally get. Yeah. Being able to show up for people in that way. And, you know, to me, being generous is a very important part of manifesting whatever your dreams are and in any way that you can. And everybody can be generous in some way.

[A]

Yeah. So I think when it comes to our dreams, there's a couple things to remember. No. No dream is too big or too small.

[B]

Right.

[A]

There should never be any shame around your dream. Like, don't let anybody tell you it's not possible. No matter where you're at. I don't care what part of the country you are in or what country you are in, like, you can achieve it. It's a matter of, like I said, it really comes down to how hard you're willing to work for it. So, like, you know when little kids say, I want to be an astronaut or I want to be the president, like, somebody has to become an astronaut and somebody has to become the president. And so it's like. Like, I understand. There are definitely things that play into it. And there's probably a lot of people that want to be president that don't get to become president, but they probably get really close. Like, they're. They end up in politics, and maybe they end up realizing why didn't want to do that, and I wanted to do this instead. But, like, you're never going to know if you try unless you try.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And anybody that you're seeing already in the spot that you want, like, more often than not, they did not come with the silver spoon in their mouth. I mean, sure, there are some. It would have been nice to be born to Brad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Angelina Jolie. But, like, most aren't. Like, Brad Pitt wasn't born to Brad Pitt. Like, his parents are just parents from. I think they're from, like, Illinois or Idaho or somewhere in the Midwest.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know what? I'm so, like, you can't look at where somebody is now and think, one, that it just came easy to them or two, that it can't work for you too, that they did it. But I can't. If you're willing to put the work in, you can have those dreams.

[B]

Yeah, totally. And at some point, I don't know if this is, like, a negative way of looking at it or not, but if my options are live a life that I just succumb to the fact that it's not going to be the life I want, I'm not going to have the experience I want or live a life until the day I die going after what I'm passionate about, I would choose the latter. I will go after what I'm passionate about, win or lose because otherwise you've definitely lost. And I think like so many times it's easy because things didn't go the way we thought they would that to think, oh we're our dreams are just not. My dreams aren't meant for me. But I bet you most people, you know, that their path didn't go the way they thought it would for sure. And it's like really, I think it's really important to remember that especially to the parents and the people like nowadays everything's ha. It seems sometimes especially, you know, we're both entertainers in ways. These youngins these days get all the opportunity but remembering just because they can.

[A]

Edit on TikTok doc, go back to our college episode.

[B]

Yeah but I'm excited because now I get to say now that I'm 40 in all my posts. So I'm here for it and I'm gonna make it work for me, but make it work for you. Like look at where you're at and if you're listening and if you still have that thing, that dream, take one step forward and after you take that one, take another one. And I really believe that you'll feel more fulfilled even on the journey.

[A]

Yeah, big, bold, massive action. And, and I, yes, I'm saying massive action but sometimes massive action is just that first step out of fear and into faith that you're going to go get it. And a lot of times it can be perceived as like, well, I can't believe you're going to do that. That's selfish to pursue that when you have all these other responsibilities. But guys, you have one life. Like that's it. 1. 1 Is this person that you are in this body, in this world that you're living in right. Right now. And it's like what are you going to do with that? Are you going to waste those days away? Like I was, listen, I don't know. I was thinking about it the other day as I was listening to the radio. You're lucky if you live to 100, lucky. And most people don't. So like 80 to 85. So you get 85 birthdays, you get 85 summers, you're only going to get 85 holidays when you start to think about that number and then you think, well, the first 18 barely count because you're not even in charge of them. You're being told that you have to go to this school and you're being told that you have to do it this way. And you're being told. So it's not even until you're like 19, where legally you're allowed to, you know, I guess 18, legally, you're allowed to make the choices for what, the next 72 to maybe 80 something years old. You know, they say don't blink. Don't blink, don't hesitate. Take that deep breath and go for it. Because the world is spinning like the clock is ticking.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

But what you do with it is entirely up to you. So if you need to go put on some rocky dance around your living room.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Find that hype squad. If you don't have it, we're here to be it. You know, I would love for people to leave in the comment section, wherever you're listening to this or watching it, like, what is your dream? If you've been afraid to say it out loud, do it now. Put it in the comments. What. What's the step you're going to take to do it? To go after it. It.

[B]

That's right. Like speak it out. Like put it out into the universe. Sometimes people just hold it so close, they don't even talk about it. That, I mean, again, that was me with my scene. That's why I was like, I'm gonna start singing my songs on Tik Tok.

[A]

Okay, so tell us one thing before we wrap this up. Put it out there. One dream. Could be for this year, could be big, whatever, small. What is it?

[B]

Oh, well, I have to think for a second. Do you have one?

[A]

Yeah, you know about it, but I haven't really put it out there to the rest of the world yet. But I guess, guess. Is this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Am I saying it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have been working on a grocery and beverage line for two years now. And business plan is done, name of the product is done. Some of the recipe, like we're at the point of investment, needing like getting to investors. So the, the goal would be to have it out before the end of 2025. That, that's, that's the big goal. That's a big dream though, is like, I want to put a grocery line out that takes the prep out of meal prep. Do not steal my line because that is my tagline for the product. Do you heard it here? What's the date? But yeah, that, that Makes like all the eating healthy, all the things that I've done with all my programs and with Bobby and recipes. Like, wouldn't it be so nice if you could just walk into the grocery store and instead of like, like. And you could buy the meatloaf that you already know fits all the containers. You could buy the meatballs, you could buy the sauce recipe, you could buy the healthier, you know, pasta with burger meat. I forget, what do you call it? I don't. It's our healthy version of Hamburger Helper. But you know, I, I think to, to my, you know, I thought for all these years, like, God, it would just be so easy to have that like, that I could go out there and I could get it and I could know exactly what it is. Because I'm the worst when it comes to planning ahead. Which is probably terrible to say as a fitness and nutrition expert, but because my life is so busy with all the things I'm trying to do, all of a sudden I look up and it's 6:30 at night and I'm like, I forgot to take that out of the freezer. Now I'm trying to make something and I'm like, God, for all the other busy people out there, be it single mom, dad, whatever, when that happens, wouldn't it be nice if you just run in, grab it and all, you know, you, you have to pop it in the oven or something. But then it's a, you have a home cooked meal, quote unquote, with ingredients that you can really trust that you know are done well for you. Because you know me, I won't compromise integrity at all. So that's, that's the dream that's in progress.

[B]

That is awesome. Yeah, I have known about that. I'm really glad that you shared it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hopefully there's an investor listening who's like, let's go.

[A]

If you're out there, holla. Yeah.

[B]

I have, I have a couple. Like the, the first, the nearest goal is, is quitting two of my jobs that I have.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

I know that that is something that's, that is in the near future and I'm, I am taking steps forward for that. Like, other than I could didn't send the text, I was gonna a few minutes ago to quit.

[A]

I'm like, any chance you could do this before Friday? Because I'm really looking to enjoy the 4th of July with you.

[B]

But also I have a, I, I have some other creative projects and one of them is a music project and another is a writing project and I would really like to have one of those completed and one started before 41. So I just turned 40. So like that this year, that is my goal for those things to happen. I feel like I'm entering a new creative space and it feels really good and that's an important process for me.

[A]

So, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, there it is, y'. All. Keep dreaming big. Let us know what your dreams are like. Comment subscribe don't forget, you can email us@everythingsperfectpodcast gmail.com that's right.

[B]

We'll see you next time.

[A]

Bye.