Everything’s Perfect…Except Religion, Divorce & Throuples

Summary

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Everything’s Perfect…Except Religion, Divorce & Throuples

Everything's Perfect Podcast • May 19, 2026
Hosts: Autumn Calabrese & Donald Stamper
Episode Summary

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Overview:

This episode dives into how beliefs can dramatically shift over time—even those that once felt foundational. Autumn and Donald candidly share personal stories about changing perspectives around religion, divorce, relationships (including throuples), health, politics, and more. Their conversational, humorous, and refreshingly honest approach encourages listeners to hold beliefs with curiosity and compassion, understanding that growth can—and often does—require challenging long-held convictions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Our Beliefs Change Over Time

[04:00–05:00]

• Autumn introduces the main theme: recognizing how certain beliefs we’ve held with certainty at various life stages can change, often expanding through new experiences and information.
  • “At 40, I have had a lot of things that I believed that I’ve changed my mind about.” – Autumn [03:54]
• Donald points out that sometimes, “the more life you live, the more experiences you have, you realize that belief doesn’t hold up.” [04:43]
• The hosts agree it’s a sign of maturity to hold things with “just as much question and mystery as you do with a knowing that it’s a fact.” – Autumn [05:35]

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2. Religion: Heaven, Hell & Questioning Faith

[05:06–13:31]

• Autumn shares how her upbringing was faith-centered and how her beliefs in heaven and hell changed, now approaching these ideas with more nuance and less certainty.
  • “What’s crazy is how sure I was of it and how different I feel about it now.” – Autumn [06:11]
• Donald reflects on his Catholic upbringing and the confusing concept of purgatory. He always questioned why a “good God” would punish people for loving, or send people to hell for divorce.
  • “It didn’t make sense that God was mean.” – Donald [08:19]
• They both recall rituals (long prayers, placing a Bible or cross at night), motivated by fear, and acknowledge how beliefs in an afterlife or ghosts get complicated.
  • “I literally also then when I was finally done praying, would open the Bible and lay it on my chest just to keep me safe from demons while I was sleeping.” – Autumn [08:51]
• Donald brings up the idea of reincarnation and energy, expressing a belief that souls may get multiple lives to learn lessons, contrasting a punitive view of hell. [09:42]
• The “Matrix/Truman Show” analogy emerges for unexplained mysteries of existence. [16:38]

Memorable Moment:

• Discussing how ideas like streets of gold in heaven might reflect “earthly desires,” not spiritual truths.
  • “It seems a little gluttonous for wealth in a way.” – Autumn [12:21]

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3. Health, Wellness & The Science We "Know"

[17:04–23:33]

• Donald admits he once believed that overweight people just weren’t trying—until his own health journey, and experience as a wellness professional, taught him about genetics, hormones, and invisible struggles. [17:04]
  • “I have a much different lens that I see it through … you’re doing everything right and things aren’t moving.” – Donald [18:21]
  • “It's embarrassing to admit that. I used to have such strong feelings about that.” – Autumn [19:27]
• Both revisit other “myths” they once accepted—like that potatoes were unhealthy, or “calories in, calories out” is all that matters.
  • “I literally was like, I wouldn’t eat a potato. Like, I acted like potatoes were an unheal bad food.” – Autumn [22:16]
• On the dangers of accepting science or studies at face value:
  • “You gotta go look who’s financing studies.” – Donald [20:41]

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4. Divorce, Marriage & Non-Traditional Relationships

[25:57–35:07]

• Autumn discusses how she once saw divorce as “morally wrong” due to religious upbringing, but now sees it as “really great option for a lot of people” when it’s right for them.
  • “It is so good for so many people and sometimes it’s good for everyone involved.” – Autumn [26:07]
• Donald breaks down the societal stigma around divorce versus serial dating, noting how ending a marriage is seen as failure but ending other relationships isn’t.
  • “You could be a serial dater... but the second there’s that title of marriage and it doesn’t work out, there is this stigma. Like, you failed.” – Donald [29:12]
• Conversation organically shifts to throuples (three-person relationships). Autumn shares about a friend in a throuple; both confess to initial skepticism but now feel it’s nobody’s business as long as those involved are happy.
  • “Seeing my friend, the fact that he’s happy in this relationship and the three of them are happy together...that is all that really matters.” – Autumn [32:58]
• Lighthearted curiosity about logistics:
  • “I have one question... do they all sleep in the same bed? How big is that bed?” – Donald [33:54]
  • “You definitely have to have three separate blankets.” – Autumn [34:11]

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5. Political Beliefs & Vote Evolution

[35:13–39:46]

• Autumn admits she “never would have thought” she’d vote outside her Republican upbringing, describing personal growth and a shift around issues like abortion as catalysts for this change.
  • “I never would have thought after the first two presidencies I voted for that I would ever switch parties for who I voted for.” – Autumn [36:30]
• Donald admits coming from a Democrat family but not engaging deeply in politics, and both express a sense of “lesser of two evils” when voting now.

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6. More Belief Shifts: Wine, Sex Work, and Judgement

[39:51–56:28]

• On wine: Autumn recalls thinking wine helped digestion, but learned differently through nutrition science.
  • “Eat the damn grape, guys.” – Donald [40:00]
• On sexuality and shame: Both acknowledge shifting beliefs; being gay made Donald re-examine everything. They use a bookshelf analogy for beliefs: some deserve to be kept, others tossed.
• On sex work: Once judged as immoral, Autumn now believes it isn’t inherently wrong if chosen freely, drawing a line between that and exploitation/trafficking.
  • “Not that I want to do it, but…I think that…I used to think someone doing that was doing something wrong.” – Autumn [53:35]

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7. The Underlying Lesson: Reflection, Growth & Minding Your Business

[56:28–end]

• Both hosts reflect on their own personalities: Autumn used to have rigid opinions on everything; Donald’s “strong personality was more about, I don’t want to be told what to do.”
• They agree that beliefs should be paired with action and authentic conviction, not just repeated out of habit.
  • “With your beliefs should come conviction. If I believe that being healthy is important…but I never do it, then that’s not really your belief.” – Autumn [47:41]
• The conversation closes with a call for open-mindedness, humility, and compassion, especially about matters not affecting oneself.
  • “If it doesn’t affect you directly, mind your business.” – Donald [60:08]
  • “My only job is be good to others, treat myself kindly, and keep it moving.” – Autumn [61:54]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The world is filled with people and you can find yourself in love with more than one person at a time…we’re allowed to love as many friends as we want…But the second there’s that title of marriage and it doesn’t work out, there is this stigma.” – Donald [27:37–29:12]
• “Sometimes just being introduced to something that you haven’t seen before helps make room for it in your mind.” – Autumn [32:37]
• “I would do it so fast if you told me where and how and that I actually was going to make money. It’s feet. Who cares?” – Donald (on foot pics and sex work) [50:43]
• “You aren’t someone who had such strong, rigid opinions about a lot of things.” – Autumn [56:28]
• “I just think it’s so crazy that we all think we’re entitled to have opinions or that somebody else has to have like the same opinion or the same mindset as you.” – Donald [60:10]
• “It’s so freeing for me to be like, you know what? I don’t know. As much as I thought that I like all that that I thought I knew is none of my business. To make other people believe it. My only job is be good to others, treat myself kindly, and keep it moving.” – Autumn [61:54]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Theme & Introduction: [03:54–05:04]
• Religion & Afterlife: [05:07–16:38]
• Health, Science & Wellness: [17:04–23:33]
• Divorce & Relationships: [25:57–35:07]
• Throuples & Social Norms: [32:14–35:07]
• Politics & Voting: [35:13–39:44]
• Sex, Sex Work & Judgement: [39:51–56:28]
• Final Reflections: [59:15–end]

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Tone and Style

Conversational, candid, playful yet deeply reflective. The hosts make space for humor and tangents (feet pics, anyone?) but continually steer back to vulnerability and honest reflection on growth. If you’re looking for encouragement to question your “certainties,” this episode brings wisdom with a wink.

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Takeaways

• Give yourself permission to evolve—beliefs are not set in stone.
• If something doesn’t impact you directly, it’s okay (even preferable) to simply “mind your business.”
• Hold judgments lightly and seek understanding over certainty.
• Growth often means questioning and revisiting what you’ve always assumed to be true.
• Yes, even the strongest opinions can (and sometimes should) change with time, new information, and empathy.

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For feedback or to share your own story, reach out:
everything'[e-mail] or Instagram @everythingsperfectofficial

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Transcript

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[Female Host]

Oh, no.

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[Female Host]

Well, you know, I have friends that started dating a couple and now we all call them the throuple. Yeah. And it's interesting. And the truth is sometimes the things that cause I never like and to me that was a sin. And it's also not socially normal, but like seeing my friend, the fact that he's happy in this relationship and the three of them are happy together and they're bringing each other happiness, that is all that really matters.

[Male Host]

I have one question. I don't know if you know this answer or not. Do they all sleep in the same bed?

[Female Host]

Literally. I was thinking the same thing. I don't know.

[Male Host]

I'm like, how big is that bed? Cuz it's three men.

[Female Host]

You're going to have to. It's got to be a big bed.

[Male Host]

And by the way, I love to get spooned and then sometimes you roll over so you spoon in one way.

[Female Host]

Like call it out. Yeah.

[Male Host]

Who's spooning who?

[Female Host]

Hi. Hi.

[Male Host]

How are you?

[Female Host]

I'm doing good. I'm cold. I'm a desert boy now.

[Male Host]

I know. I turned the heat on. Also though, this weather is insane. It's for by me in California. It's a little, little gloomy.

[Female Host]

Yeah. I said when I was looking to come here, I was like, okay, so I have to pack everything every season, everything I need. I literally almost. Because I love my trench coat. I was like, it's May, but the weather is giving. Trench coat.

[Male Host]

It is. I went to a winery yesterday with friends and I Had on jeans and a long sleeve shirt and I had a little like denim jacket over it. I was freezing. It's beautiful. Winery. But they, they didn't have heat lamps.

[Female Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Male Host]

I was like. And it was five o' clock at night when we got there.

[Female Host]

And Southern California, like every place should be required. It should be a zoning requirement.

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

If you have outdoor anything, you have to have heat lamps all year long.

[Male Host]

All year long. Because at night it's not warm.

[Female Host]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[Male Host]

Oh, God.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

I'm feeling it.

[Female Host]

My chest, like they're gonna tear.

[Male Host]

Great. We're doing great.

[Female Host]

But it also makes me feel so fit. When I feel my sore muscles, I'm like. Yeah.

[Male Host]

When I'm. That's where I like, I'm sure that when I look in the mirror I'm gonna just look like ripped. And then I'm like, okay, we're coming along. But it doesn't, it doesn't look matching how I feel. Yes, it's giving shredded. But then it's. The mirror isn't reciprocating it.

[Female Host]

I'm so excited. Little side note to go to the movies later. This feels like a good movie day.

[Male Host]

It does.

[Female Host]

When we're filming right now it's a little overcast and it's just like a perfect.

[Male Host]

It'll be sunny by the time we're going to the movies and probably hot.

[Female Host]

Oh, great. Perfect planning.

[Male Host]

No, I know. That's the weather these days. It's like all day long it's. Ugh. And then. Oh, just kidding. It's actually not supposed to warm up at all. It'll be sunny, but it's only supposed to be 61.

[Female Host]

That's wild.

[Male Host]

It warms up come Thursday 80s. I'm here for it. Anywho, what are we talking about today?

[Female Host]

You know what I was thinking about the other day that I thought would be a fun conversation for us to have? I was thinking about how, you know, at 40, I like, I have had a lot of things that I believed that I've changed my mind about.

[Male Host]

Okay.

[Female Host]

And I think that sometimes people have a hard time accepting the, like letting go of things that they just knew to be true. And I was like, this could be a good thing for us to talk about because of. In all different, like, subjects or areas of life, there are just things that at one point someone can really believe and really hold true and then be. Whether it's because of experience or new information, whatever it is, you know, you realize. Okay. I actually feel a little bit differently now.

[Male Host]

Yeah, well, sometimes too the more life you live, the more, like you said, the more experiences you have. You're just like that. That belief doesn't hold up anymore.

[Female Host]

Yeah. Your perspective expands.

[Male Host]

It doesn't make it wrong or necessarily like, when you had it. It's just that's what. That's what you had then, and now you have a. A different lens to see it through.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Maybe.

[Female Host]

Yeah. Yeah. For me, a lot.

[Male Host]

I was gonna say. Tell me one.

[Female Host]

Well, the. The ones that really stand out the most for me are around religion. Okay. And because I grew up in a world where everything started with faith and then it trickled down to every other area of your life. And so, like, okay, heaven and hell, like, that's a really big one.

[Male Host]

So do you not believe in them at all?

[Female Host]

Not in the way I did.

[Male Host]

Okay. So a different perspective.

[Female Host]

Yeah. And I think it's too. And for me, it feels like maturing to hold feelings about things with just as much question and mystery as you do with a knowing that it's a fact. And so, like, I used to know that when you died, you either went to heaven or you went to hell, and you were in either of those places forever. And, like, I used to know.

[Male Host]

Were you not taught about purgatory?

[Female Host]

Oh, yeah. We Protestants don't believe in that.

[Male Host]

Oh, okay.

[Female Host]

You poor. You Catholics are crazy. I'm just kidding. But no.

[Male Host]

Why? I'm not.

[Female Host]

We didn't. We didn't believe.

[Male Host]

Okay.

[Female Host]

And. But the. What's funny is, too, the fact that I was so confident in what I believed, but thought a belief like purgatory was just ridiculous. And when you look at it stepping outside of it, you're like, one is not more ridiculous than the other. And if, like, you know, I know a lot of people, and I venture to say, like, most people believe in heaven and. Or hell, but. So I'm not saying that's a crazy belief to have, but what's crazy is how sure I was of it and how different I feel about it now.

[Male Host]

That makes sense. You know, I mean, I was raised Catholic, so we were taught about heaven, Hell, and purgatory. And that almost purgatory was even worse because you were in limbo. Your soul was in limbo.

[Female Host]

Yeah. Your family better be praying for you.

[Male Host]

I. It's very interesting, though, because I definitely, like, I grew up in it, Catholic school. We went to church every Sunday. I feel like I always questioned what was being taught. Like, my little person brain, when I was learning all this stuff was always like, but. But shouldn't we all just Be good. And if I'm good like this, shouldn't I be good then? And like be okay to go wherever. And it was like if you don't do this and you don't do that. And the older I got, I, I, by the time I was probably, I think in like seventh or eighth grade, I ended up asking my dad to switch me to a cat or to a public school. I was not thriving in my Catholic school. I was struggling in general with not nothing bad was happening, but I just the nuns and the rule like so not getting to self express with like uniforms.

[Female Host]

I was gonna ask did you have uniforms?

[Male Host]

And Bobby and Kaylee went, Kaylee went Catholic all girls. Bobby went Catholic all boys all the way through high school. I said, put me in public, I'm gonna need to dress how I want to dress. I'm not here for these, these nuns. I love the nuns. But like so I don't know, for me I always. It didn't make sense that God was mean.

[Female Host]

Right. Thank you.

[Male Host]

That never as a little kid, like, I guess I just never really was able to like. Or that you would be punished for loving somebody for the opposite sex. And it was like, well, my parents are divorced or my parents going to hell. Like there was always. But I do remember a time where I prayed a lot. Like every night before I went to bed probably when I was like 11, 12 and geez, I would have to go through like the laundry list because I was afraid that if I left somebody out, they were in trouble.

[Female Host]

Yeah, exactly.

[Male Host]

I was like to the point where it would put me to sleep.

[Female Host]

Right. I, I would do the same thing. I literally also then when I was finally done praying, would open the Bible and lay it on my chest just to keep me safe from demons while I was sleeping.

[Male Host]

Soak in there little cross in case the vampire.

[Female Host]

My heart chakra. I didn't realize I was doing new age practices as well. But you know what? Cover all your bases just in case

[Male Host]

because you never know because there is no proof. Yeah, but that is interesting again, I think I was obviously taught heaven, hell, purgatory. I. This is going to probably sound a little. I don't necessarily even believe in heaven. I do believe in afterlife because energy, we have proven that energy doesn't dissolve. Dissolve. So your energy from your body has to go somewhere.

[Female Host]

Right.

[Male Host]

And we've talked about ghosts and, or like spirits and things like that. So I feel like this is just my own personal thought system. But like when you're here it's to learn lessons yeah. Your soul has to learn lessons, and there's, like, maybe levels. That's why you get multiple lives and chances to do again. And because we have free will, you don't always learn the lesson. It's not guaranteed that you're going to learn it, so you're going to have to come back and learn it again the harder way. Maybe sometimes, or if you end up not being a good person, you do bad things. I don't necessarily believe, like, they're going somewhere to burn and be tortured. Like, I don't have that image of hell, but I do think that that soul has got to come back and do it again. Did you ever watch the TV show the Good Life? Is that what it's called with Kristen Bell?

[Female Host]

Yes. I don't. I think that's what it was called, but I did watch that show.

[Male Host]

I think that's what it was called.

[Female Host]

Huh. And the guy who played in Cheers, I always.

[Male Host]

Yeah, he was dancing. Such a good show. And when you're first watching it, it's just funny because, like, you realize, like, oh, they think they're in heaven, but really they're not. They're in hell being tortured.

[Female Host]

The Good Place is what it is.

[Male Host]

That's what it is. The good Place. But I'm not going to give the ending away of the show. But the ending makes so much. You're just, like, got. It really makes your brain think.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

About when it's all done. I remember Oprah talking about something once, and she's like, I'm like a. I was told I'm like a level 10. I'm in my last life. Like, I've learned the lessons. And that's why she's such a, like, powerful teacher.

[Female Host]

Yeah. I mean, I. It feels so good to open your mind about things because here's my issue with afterlife was actually first mostly with. Well, hell is a big issue for me because I'm like, that seems like something humans made up because we get mad and we want revenge and we want people to pay a punishment for these things we see as terrible. But isn't God supposed to be all love and bigger than us? And so that makes sense. But what really made me start to question things that I'm like, when people talk about heaven, they just talk really about, like, earthly things that make sense that we desire now, but talking about, like, streets of gold and mansions in heaven, and I'm like, this seems a little, like, gluttonous for wealth in a way. Like, I get that's what we live now But I don't have an energy

[Male Host]

and it's not a body form.

[Female Host]

But are these bodies are. We can't take them with us. And include that means also my brain and the way that it thinks and the way that it. And I, I always wonder about the divide. Like I wonder when if we have instinctual like feelings that are spirit based versus our brain. But the fact is how we process everything is through our brain. So it doesn't make sense that I'm going to be like, and I'm gonna get to heaven and I'm gonna have a Rolls Royce and a Bentley. You know what I mean? I was like, this isn't, this doesn't make sense.

[Male Host]

I mean, we could end up on a whole rabbit hole religion. And I want to make sure we talk about other things. But it is interesting. So like, obviously there's people that can communicate with the other side and I fully believe in that because you watch it and you're like, there's no way they would know this. Or there's no way they would be aware that that happened. Nobody's ever talked about that. Or like I told you, when I heard C.J. tell me to tell my cousin to take the job, I'm not saying I communicate with the other side. That was like a one off thing that happened. But I go like in my mind I'm like, but it was CJ's voice. Yeah, I heard like that's how I knew who it was. I'm like, well, that's, that's CJ if I ever heard it before.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

And she said, tell Bianca. And I'm like, so this is what always gets me a little bit. Because I was like, so has her soul not been reborn yet? Right, Because I'm getting her voice, I'm getting her energy. Still looking out for my cousin Bianca.

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[Person Commenting on Bird Date]

Hey everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?

[Female Host]

Oh, no.

[Liberty Mutual Representative]

We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.

[Female Host's Bird Partner]

We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Commentator on Bird's League]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

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Anyways, get a'@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.

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[Male Host]

So at what point, if your soul gets reincarnated to somebody else, can then somebody here not communicate with that version of you or that version of you is still connected to your people down here? You know what I'm saying? Like, it's totally. It's a real mind bender.

[Female Host]

Well, I. To that point, because we are bound by time in this life, in this existence. And so I feel like when we think about what afterlife or in between lives and stuff like that, we still think about things in a linear timeline. But I wonder if actually things are happening simultaneously and, like, I have, like, my spirit self is. Is also living there and already way back there. Yeah, sort of. Like I used. This is one thing I say about heaven. And I know we're not just talking about religion in a second, but my. I used to think how when someone. Like, there's. There are scriptures in the Bible that talked about how the dead will rise first, and it doesn't make sense in terms of being taught that when we die, we go to heaven. But also. Well, then why are they rising? Or are we all there at the same time? And so I feel like I. In my mind, I always thought about heaven when I was younger. Like, you die and then you're up there waiting.

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

For everybody else, for the other people to come. But then you're still believing in the time mindset. Like, do we live here? And I kind of think in that energetic field on the other side, whatever that looks like, maybe we are all there and this is how.

[Male Host]

Listen, we're in the Matrix.

[Female Host]

We're in the Matrix, girl. We're plugged up, by the way.

[Male Host]

You want to talk about something? I never believe, but maybe I believe a little bit. Now I'm starting to believe a little bit more. I'm like. I feel like we're in a matrix.

[Female Host]

The Truman Show a little bit.

[Male Host]

I mean, we are. That is real.

[Female Host]

For real.

[Male Host]

I'm drinking my Energize. Use a coat on him. See body.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

Oh, like, that is so weird how that one ended up being.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

Accurate. But that wasn't a. Like, belief and not belief. Okay, I'll completely pivot on one. Like, way away from religion, but in the world of health and wellness, like, obviously, we learn so much over so much time. But I would say when I first kind of got into, like, in my late 20s, like, hear me out, let me explain myself. Because I think I probably had a stronger belief that if somebody was really out of shape, that they weren't trying or they weren't being honest, like, maybe about what they were eating or the effort that they were putting in. And obviously now with years, 20 plus years in the industry and learning so much more and about all the different things that impact us, I have a much different lens that I see it through because I've seen so many people and I've experienced it myself, where you're doing everything right and things aren't moving in the right direction or the results aren't showing up the way they should when you're eating healthy and exercising and avoiding a lot of alcohol. But, like, when I. When I went through my gut health issues and like, just the muscle definition wasn't there anymore, I was a little more bloated. It was like, somebody could have looked at me and been like, why is she the expert? Like, her body doesn't look like it did two years ago when she was a competitor, so she must be being lazy now.

[Female Host]

Right?

[Male Host]

When it was like, actually I was working harder than I had ever worked to try to get it, not realizing that there was an underlying cause or hormones. Right. Like, so I could have looked at somebody and been like, oh, well, they're in their 40s and they're just using their excuses, busy life and mom or whatever. But really they're. They're like, no, I'm doing all the things and it's not working.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

So that's probably a belief, like, again, with experience, that.

[Female Host]

Yeah, like, like, I totally relate to that. And just with experience and both what you experience, what you see other people experience and science.

[Male Host]

Yes.

[Female Host]

It's like, wow, there's more to that story than what I knew. And I was so sure then that, like, people were not putting work in or I would be convinced maybe at a younger. I'm not proud of version of myself, I'm doing better than that person. Based on how we look in terms of. I mean, actually, I don't need to say in terms of, because at the time, that's the kind of arrogance I have. I literally thought it was just, I'm doing better than that person.

[Male Host]

Right.

[Female Host]

And now knowing that is embarrassing to admit that. I used to have such strong feelings about that.

[Male Host]

Like, oh, why wouldn't you?

[Female Host]

So many different now we know things that can be going on medical Conditions, genetics.

[Male Host]

Genetics working against you. I will say even this, like you, you would go, oh, this science thing says this, so this is now fact. And you assume that that is going to be fact forever. I try to take everything with a grain of salt because we are constantly learning so not to be controversial, but even like a medication can get approved. Right. And then all of a sudden, several years later it gets pulled because they realize, oops, long term. Yeah, that wasn't in your best interest. Some people are going to have more issues with it than others. So while we all would have believed maybe like, oh, that's a great medication to be taking for this issue, all of a sudden it changes.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

I think the key is to always have an open mind of like, this is what we know to be true right now. But that doesn't mean it can't be proved. Insufficient, inaccurate, flat out wrong.

[Female Host]

Yep.

[Male Host]

Who is it coming from? I used to always be like, well, this study says this and I very quickly learned you got to go look who's financing studies.

[Female Host]

Right.

[Male Host]

Because so many people will say that like, oh, well, the study says that this isn't bad. And I'm like, who's it coming from?

[Female Host]

Right. What kind of study is it? Yeah.

[Male Host]

Acknowledging that because you would think that you would want, you want the world to be good. You want people to look out for other people's best interests. But the bottom line is a lot of people look out for their bottom line.

[Female Host]

And the most, unfortunately, they're like, you always need to have double, double, blind, peer reviewed studies because if they're not everyone, you have a bias whether you want to have one or not. And I can run a study to prove something, but I'm running that study. Want to prove a specific thing.

[Male Host]

Right. Because you're looking for the, like you have an opinion about an outcome that you're trying to prove to be other people.

[Female Host]

Yeah, yeah. And so any study you. A study started and there's a lot of guidelines a study needs to follow to make sure that there's not a bias there. And it's results. I just thought of one that's sort of on the same lines. I used to be such a. About potatoes. Like I used to say, I remember like I was so. Because I heard someone say that I really respected and was healthy person. And they are, and I still respect them, but they also would not say this anymore. They were like, someone asked them if they wanted potatoes and they were like, I would rather eat bark off of a tree than a potato.

[Male Host]

Why?

[Female Host]

Because.

[Male Host]

Because it because it's a white food if you're eating a russet potato.

[Female Host]

Exactly.

[Male Host]

And they were under that whole, don't

[Female Host]

eat white, it's gonna turn to sugar and all of the thing. And I. So, I heard that. I admired that person. And I literally was like, I wouldn't eat a potato. Like, I acted like potatoes were an unheal bad food.

[Male Host]

And now you realize, like, for a

[Female Host]

while, I love potatoes. And there's a lot of good things about potatoes. Yeah, but that's so. It's so funny because I never at the time would have thought that I ever would have thought potatoes were good for you.

[Male Host]

That's funny.

[Female Host]

You know what I mean?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

It's so ridiculous.

[Male Host]

It's. Well, you know, like, calories in, calories out. We've heard that for years. So obviously growing up in the 80s and 90s, that would have been a thing that I would have been like, well, it's just calories in, calories out. Obviously, I would never say that. Now, like, we understand. Understand you can't out train, like, a poor diet. And 1200 calories from cookies and 1200 calories from protein, fruits and veggies are not going to operate the same in your body.

[Female Host]

Exactly.

[Male Host]

Like insulin spikes, blood sugar spikes, fat storage, actual nutrients. Like, you could be fed and still be malnourished because you're not getting vitamins and minerals and.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

Macro, micronutrient, like, all that stuff. So it's like, yeah, the more we learn. Although sometimes I feel like the more we learn, the more my brain wants to explode and just be like, ah,

[Female Host]

I know, I know. Well, that's when it's like, okay, what can I. I like to think of a catch all, like, have a routine in my life that gets the greatest overall benefits that it can without having to constantly think of all the information I actually earned gift card, and I have to decide what to use it on. And I was gonna get an aura ring.

[Male Host]

Okay.

[Female Host]

But I'm like, sometimes all of the data points, I just am. I'm like, I. I don't. I don't want to have the ability to obsess over all that.

[Male Host]

I. I stopped wearing mine for a while. Not because I was obsessing about it. Like, sometimes I'll put it on now just to check in for a little bit and then I won't wear it. But partially because of that, because I'm like, I don't really need it to tell me if I slept or not.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

When you showed up Saturday, I was like, I Didn't sleep. I had like. I know I didn't. The ring would have been like, what the hell's going on?

[Female Host]

Like, it's burning your finger.

[Male Host]

Like, literally, it's like.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

I was like, I don't need a ring to tell me that I didn't sleep. I know. I also don't need it to tell me that I'm stressed out. I fucking feel it in my chest

[Female Host]

telling me exactly. Yeah, It's a lot of information sometimes. Okay, there's another one I used to. Well, I'm trying to pick between a few.

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Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Person Commenting on Bird Date]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first first date?

[Female Host]

Oh, no.

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[Female Host's Bird Partner]

We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Commentator on Bird's League]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

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Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

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[Male Host]

Oh, we got time. Say them all.

[Female Host]

Well, okay. I used to believe that divorce was morally wrong.

[Male Host]

Okay.

[Female Host]

And again, like I said, a lot of my beliefs came from trickle down of religion. Yeah, religion and. And moral standards that come from that. But I really believed it was wrong. And I think that's so crazy now because it is so good for so many people and sometimes it's good for everyone involved. It's like, it's easy to say, you know, there's a. To paint a picture of, like, when it's funny. Yeah. And when you start taking steps outside of belief systems you had, it's kind of a scary thing. It's like you take baby steps. And so the baby steps with divorce is like, well, if a guy is physically beating his wife, she should be able to get divorced. But also if two people just are not happy and they have this. I know we talked about multiple lives, but as we know, in this body, in this Experience. We have this life.

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

And it's too fudgeing short.

[Male Host]

You know where I stand on it, I'm saying.

[Female Host]

And so that's something. I was so, like, if you. What if you get divorced, don't get divorced. Fight divorce. Where I'm like, I don't see that now. It's actually a really great option for a lot of people.

[Male Host]

Yeah. I think a couple things, like, I think people need to wait longer before they get married in general and kind of even like, spinning off of that. Oh, man, I'm gonna get crucified for this one. But it just is. This is how I feel. Like, I think it's so weird that we have this. I heard it crackle, too. Is it good?

[Female Host]

Oh, I think it's okay.

[Male Host]

When it comes to loving a partner like a significant other, we have this impression, and I think it stems from religion, which is get married. And that's it. Right. That you meet that one person, you fall in love with that one person, and how dare you. You're a horrible person. If you fall in love with somebody else at any other point in your life, like, that should never happen. I'm not. I want to be in an open relationship. I'm. I'm not saying I don't want to be in a monogamous. Monogamous relationship, because of course I. That is what I want. But at the same time, I can have an open enough mind to understand that the world is filled with people and you can find yourself in love with more than one person at a time. And that sucks for the people involved sometimes, especially if somebody's not open to the idea of you being loving multiple people. But we're allowed to love as many friends as we want.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

We're allowed to love as many family members as we want. We have multiple children. And nobody thinks, like, how dare you have a second child and love it as much as your first child. Like. And you're allowed to date as long as you want. You're allowed to date. You'll be a serial dater. I've dated this person for a couple years, and then it didn't work out. And, like, people think, oh, I'm sorry, and that's unfortunate, and they're there for you. And then I dated this person, and you could live with them, and it doesn't work work out. But the second there's that title of marriage and it doesn't work out, there is this stigma. Like, you failed.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

You done up. You ruined your life. You ruined that person's Life. You ruined your children's lives. And I think a lot of it gets into more of the. The legalities of it. Right. Like, oh, well, if I get divorced, I've got a. First of all, you're still family, especially if you had kids. Maybe if you didn't have kids, maybe not. Like, maybe you go your way and that one goes that way, but if you got kids, you're family for life. Like, that's what I say about me and Kent. I'm like, we're divorced. But, like, he's still my family.

[Female Host]

Right.

[Male Host]

And so you could choose to still be family and still be there for your kids, and it could be a healthier relationship than it ever was when you were married, because it wasn't. Right.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

It's toxic when it comes to dividing of assets, though. I think people will stay because that gets complicated and. Oh, and I don't want to give up this and I don't want to give up that. Or it would just be easier to not have to go through because, like, divorce is not quick and easy.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

So, yeah, I think there ends up being this stigma on it that doesn't make sense because we don't have it in any other area of our lives. In fact, the more love you have around you, the better. Right, but not in that way.

[Female Host]

Right.

[Male Host]

Again, let me be very clear. I ain't trying to be with somebody who wants multiple people. Yeah. That's not what I'm looking for. But I'm just saying I understand. Like, I don't necessarily have, like, this harsh judgment on somebody if they're like, I didn't mean for it to happen. And it did. And now I don't know what to do, and I'm torn. I think I was saying it to you like, we'll watch the show. Like, people watch the show the Bachelor or the Bachelorette. That one person is dating 30 people.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

And all of us. And we're all watching Glue. What's gonna happen and who. And we're watching how. Yeah, that. That doesn't work. Those two dating like that. That's not a good match. And all of a sudden, they get down to the final two people in the final rows, and a lot of times, that person that has to make the decision is very torn because they care about the both of those people. And we're not watching with any judgment of, like, oh, my God, I can't believe.

[Female Host]

Right.

[Male Host]

You fell for both of those people.

[Female Host]

We might. But.

[Male Host]

But in general, like, it's obviously a popular show for a Reason. It's been on for, like, 20 years for a reason. Because we're all tuning in to see what happens with no judgment of. I can't believe.

[Female Host]

Yeah. How dare they.

[Male Host]

Yeah. We're like, who do they end up picking?

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

But then if it happens out in real life, ah, you dated two people at once and now you don't know which one because you have a connection with this one and a connection with that one and you'. Scumbag.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

So I don't know. I just think it's like an interesting, like, growing up, you don't look at it that way, but.

[Female Host]

Well, you know, I have friends that here who I think they would be fine with me, like, sharing. They. So a friend who's started dating a couple and now we all call. Yeah, we went to their house.

[Male Host]

Yes.

[Female Host]

And it's interesting. And the truth is, sometimes the things that. Because I never, like. And to me, was a sin. And it's also not socially normal. Even someone who doesn't, like, have any type of religious religion, there are still people with conservative beliefs of, like, a relationship should be between two people.

[Male Host]

Right.

[Female Host]

Not three or whatever. And sometimes just being introduced to something that you haven't seen before helps make room for it in your mind. It doesn't make sense because you've never seen it.

[Male Host]

Right.

[Female Host]

But now being around them, I mean, there's questions that are none of my business.

[Male Host]

I still have so many questions about it. I really do. Oh, my God. I want to pick your brain questions.

[Female Host]

And. But the. The point is, you know, just coming to a place where it's like, actually, I used to have an opinion about that, realizing I never needed to. What I need to know is what do I want my relationship to look like? But, like, seeing my friend, the fact that he's happy in this relationship and the. The three of them are happy together and they're bringing each other happiness. That is all that really matters.

[Male Host]

Yeah. That otherwise it's none of your. It's no. None of anybody's business.

[Female Host]

Like, but even 10 years ago, but definitely like 15 years ago, me would have been like, that's awful. It's never gonna work. That's not how it's supposed to be. I would have had all these strong opinions, and it's just fun for me, where I'm at, to stop and be like, wow, I don't feel that way anymore. I actually think, you know, if you like it, I love it. Good for you. You know, good for the three of you. So it's interesting.

[Male Host]

I Have one question. I don't know if you know this answer or not. Do they all sleep in the same bed?

[Female Host]

Literally. I was thinking the same thing. I don't know. I might ask questions because it's not a judgmental thing, but sometimes.

[Male Host]

No, it's a curiosity thing.

[Female Host]

And I just wouldn't want to be the one in the middle.

[Male Host]

I'm like, how big is that bed? Because it's three men.

[Female Host]

Yeah, you're gonna have to have. You're gonna have to. It's got to be a big bed. And I think if that was the case, you definitely have to have three separate blankets.

[Male Host]

And. Yeah. And by the way, I love to get spooned. And then sometimes you roll over, so you spoon in one.

[Female Host]

Like, call it out.

[Male Host]

Yeah. Who's spooning who? Everybody roll to your right. Everybody roll to your left.

[Female Host]

No. Or do you roll over in the

[Male Host]

middle of night and these two are spoon. And you're like, hey, fuckers. Yeah. Why am I not in this?

[Female Host]

It would be me, but I would just be happy. Yeah, I could. Because I'm not a cuddle while I sleep kind of. But that's funny. But to the point, you know, if they figured it out.

[Male Host]

I know.

[Female Host]

Good for them.

[Male Host]

Again, I have no questions, but I can do a whole podcast episode on that. I just want. Want to answer all the questions answered. That's. Yeah, but I think that's a. That's a. That's a good one in general, like, where.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

Beliefs can change the more you're in it.

[Female Host]

Another one for me. And we don't.

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We.

[Female Host]

I think we do a really good job about being honest about how we feel, but not making this a political podcast.

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

But on this subject, I never would have thought that I would have not voted Republican in the first. Because of how I was raised in the first two times I voted. And I am happy that with not getting into it, because it's a lot to get into. I'm happy that people have the right to vote, and I want people to.

[Male Host]

For now.

[Female Host]

Okay. Exactly. Okay.

[Male Host]

That's all my one dig.

[Female Host]

And I want, like, I'm not anti people. Like, I don't all of a sudden hate Republicans and I don't haven't. I appreciate actually that I used to think the way I did because I think it gives me a lot of perspective for how everybody kind of looks at things. And I don't feel when it comes to political parties. I'm not a hundred percent, like, die hard for Democrat or Republican, but. So all that's to say. And again, because of religion, I think. And honestly, the. The issue of abortion was the big one when voting. I thought I would never. I never would have thought after the first two presidencies I voted for that I would ever switch parties for who I voted for.

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

And I did. And that's just another example for me of, like, wow, you experience some things, you start to see things differently, and things you never thought you might change your mind about. Sometimes you do.

[Male Host]

Yeah. That's an interesting one. I grew up. I guess I grew up. I'll be honest. Like, I don't follow politics in general. It's not something I'm, like, deep in. Not to say I'm not following what's going on with the world.

[Female Host]

It's like, you care, but you're not.

[Male Host]

I'm not like somebody who's every day, all day in the news.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

And if I'm being totally honest, I don't fucking believe any of them anymore. So, like. And you could judge me all you want for that, but, like. But I grew up with my family being Democrats. So, like, that's all I really knew. Because, again, I didn't really learn that. Like, yes, I learned, but not like, I didn't invest time in trying to figure it out. It was like, yeah, Democrat, fine, by the way, not my whole family, but, like, my dad, my immediate. And not. I'm not even talking to aunts and uncles. Like, do not. Politics at family gatherings is a real dicey subject in my family.

[Female Host]

Every house full of fiery Italians, real.

[Male Host]

Gets real ugly real fast. Gotta really separate. Because sometimes some of my family, I'm like, it really concerns me the way you think, but maybe my way of thinking concerns you. I don't know.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

But, yeah, over time, it became more like, okay, try to understand who's saying what. What they stand. And then, like I said, I got to the point where I was like, y' all are full of. You run saying one thing, and then you get in there, and that doesn't happen.

[Female Host]

Right.

[Male Host]

Kind of reminds me of student body government when somebody's like. And I'm gonna make sure we get out early.

[Female Host]

Yeah, I'm gonna make sure you are.

[Male Host]

Do you have longer lunches? And we're all like, yeah. And you're like, they don't have the power to do that. Like, so sometimes I feel like politicians say things, and then it's like, yeah. You realize, like, all the checks and balances, this is never gonna happen. So, like, we got all excited over something that it sure is couldn't work

[Female Host]

ever a note to like.

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I.

[Female Host]

That is a big shift too. Regardless of. Of sides. I used to like really be like all and think that these were amazing chosen by God people. And now it really is like lesser of. Like what's the least of terrible choices that we also like who we're gonna.

[Male Host]

Once they're in, are they sticking to

[Female Host]

what they the lesser of? Yeah.

[Male Host]

And again, it doesn't even matter because it's not them alone. It's like, well, who's all on. Who's the Supreme Court, who's congress.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

Who like because they need all of them to get things through. So again you could.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

Rah rah rah till the cows come home. But are you gonna get it passed? Like, so that's why I was like, okay. I mean I'll. I vote. Don't get me wrong, I vote totally. But.

[Female Host]

But it's. I do too. And it's all. It's. I think and I unfortunately feel it will always be who is the lesser of two evils is such a strong word. But that's how you.

[Male Host]

It doesn't like. I hope one day we get to the point where that's not the feeling anymore. Where it's like, oh my God, we got somebody who's coming in and this is the better option. Whatever. We'll. But yeah, we're not.

[Female Host]

Fingers crossed.

[Male Host]

Fingers, toes, all the things. Everything.

[Female Host]

I used to think wine was good to help you digest your food. I had no idea your body couldn't process alcohol and food at the same time.

[Male Host]

True story.

[Female Host]

That changed.

[Male Host]

That changed. They're all like, oh, resveratrol. I'm like, eat the damn grape, guys. Better for you, right? Get the fiber.

[Female Host]

Exactly.

[Male Host]

Don't be drunk. Yeah, I'm trying to think. Like, you tend to be really good at coming up with like yours really quick.

[Female Host]

Well, it's because I. It's just because it was so. Well, I think being gay is part of that.

[Male Host]

Okay.

[Female Host]

Because you go from like at believing that being gay is wrong. Is wrong.

[Male Host]

Right.

[Female Host]

Like the. I did that. But even people who didn't think wrong. You don't even. People who don't think it's wrong still have a hard time coming out. So you have to have some kind of societal based shame around it. And so when your mind has to switch there and you have to go through those steps, I think it just sort of makes you start to look at everything again. I heard someone say an analogy of like you can have a bookshelf full of books and it gets dusty and it's like the books you've read long time ago and it can represent what you hold. And sometimes you need to pick up some of those books and go through them and some of them maybe don't belong on your bookshelf anymore. Some of them you might flip through and be like, yeah, this is a real good one, and put it right back where it was.

[Male Host]

Right?

[Female Host]

But. But others, you pick it up and you're like, what is this trash? Well, that is out here.

[Male Host]

Interesting.

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[Person Commenting on Bird Date]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?

[Female Host]

Oh, no.

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[Female Host's Bird Partner]

We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

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[Male Host]

It's so funny that you just gave that analogy, because I was thinking. I think one thing that changed for me was the belief in personal development. Like, I used to think, like, oh, my God, like, who goes down the person? Like, by the way, this is like early 20s. Like, who goes down the personal development aisle. Like, get your together. Yeah, like, come on. Or like, I remember again, same thing. Early 20s. Like, when people would talk about Tony Robbins and how great he was and being like, oh, God. Like, and now I'm like, yeah, all in on Tony. Because I understand the power of your mindset. Understanding how your mind works, understanding how your belief system works. And that's just it. It's being able to step back and analyze like, oh, these were the beliefs I was taught as a kid. But do they hold true for the life I'm living now? And if not, then I have to let them go. Because sometimes that's why people end up sad or angry or depressed. Because it's like you're living in conflict without even. You're just going through the motions, and you're not acknowledging that you're living in conflict. Of, like, yeah, I believe this, but I also believe this. And they conflict. So, like, I gotta actually look at.

[Female Host]

You're not a whole person.

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

Because you're.

[Male Host]

Yeah, they're fighting each other. Like, Tony does talk about, like, your blueprint. Like, and if you're happy, your blueprint matches your life. And if you're unhappy, your life and your blueprint probably don't line up. And so he would ask somebody, like, what are three things for you that define, like, a happy life? Like, I remember he was doing it with a guy and he was like, oh, I have a good relationship with my kids. I'm successful in work. And I think he said something like, maybe he was working with the charity that he was involved in. And then Tony was like, okay, well, are you happy? And he's like, yeah. And he's like, okay, well, how's your relationship with your kids? He's like, it's great. And my son and this and that. And then he was explaining, like, somebody else. Like, they have this, like, this woman that he worked with had this blueprint that she. To be happy, she needed to be a mom, and she tried for years to have kids, and then she didn't, and she got divorced, and then it was too late. And so she's never been happy. Like, she's always finding herself depressed and anxious and she doesn't have kids. And it's like, well, you either have to change your life or you have to change your blueprint. So if you're past the child bearing your age, then you either have to, like, look at adoption or something, or you gotta change that blueprint and say, there's still other ways that I could be happy and give to a child, be it adoption, be it working with charities that work with kids, be it fostering. But you're gonna have to change that blueprint of I have to have my own K kid. Because you're past the age of being able to have your physically have your own kid. So your belief that to be happy is I have to have my own kid. And the fact that you can't. They don't match.

[Female Host]

Right.

[Male Host]

So you'll forever be unhappy unless you change one of those things.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

So, like, learning things like that, like, when I find myself in those places, I. I sit down and start to analyze and go, I can change this. I can change the way I'm thinking I can either change my life, like change the circumstances, or. Or it can change the way I feel about the circumstances. And then you pull yourself out of it.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

Whereas before I would have been like, no, this is who I am. This is what I am. Parents were fucked up and so this is how I grew up. And this is just always. I'm always going to be this way because this is how childhood was. And I do feel like at a certain age, you're no longer the victim of your childhood. People will probably be mad at me about this too. I'm not saying that people don't have really hard, traumatic things that they need to talk through and work through, but at a certain point, if that, that thing is still the thing that you're always leaning on for why you're behaving a certain way and you've been talking about it for a long time, or you're just sitting, analyzing it forever, it's time to be done analyzing and start changing.

[Female Host]

Well, absolutely. We talked a little bit before in episode, I think it was our last episode, about identity. And that's what it comes down to. Like, truthfully, I don't know anyone who couldn't choose to hold the identity as a victim because we all have happen.

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

And it really sucks. And. And if you get into the comparison game, which doesn't help anyone, you can be like, yeah, well, they haven't had that, or they haven't had that. But everyone has. Has had some issues and some people. And everyone has from their childhood. And I care that that happened.

[Male Host]

Absolutely.

[Female Host]

And it shouldn't have. Whatever the thing is, it shouldn't have. But you don't have to identify as a victim forever.

[Male Host]

Right.

[Female Host]

And I think that's really where, while you were talking, I was thinking about. Because people have beliefs. I used to say this. I'm not switching back to heaven and hell. But I used to say I don't think people actually believe in hell. Because if I believed, if I had a kid, for example, or a best friend who I knew that lightning was going to strike them dead, if they were standing in this position at this time of day, I wouldn't be like, you know, you really shouldn't stand there because lightning's going to strike you dead, I'd be like, move. This is serious. You cannot keep doing this. This is so bad. And I believe people were going to be in a fiery burning pit forever. I would. And so it's like, is that actually my belief or is it just like, have I just resigned like Told myself, oh, that's something I believe.

[Male Host]

Right. Like, you just sort of repeat it over and over. And so you're like, yeah, it's my belief. And you haven't even really stopped to analyze if it is right.

[Female Host]

And so I think it's important to look at your beliefs because with your beliefs should come conviction. If I believe that being healthy is important, and one of the steps to being healthy is other than life circumstances, but for the most part, having a routine of working out five days a week, this is just for an example. Okay. For my life too. I'm not saying for everyone, but I never do it, then that's not really your belief. Yeah, but if someone told me, hey, I have a million dollars, and if you work out five days a week for the next six months, I'm gonna give you a million dollars, let's go. I'd be like, I'll double or nothing.

[Male Host]

Like, let's do it.

[Female Host]

But. But I. So I must not really believe that that is going to get me. Or I lack conviction because I'm not looking at my belief.

[Male Host]

Right. You know, like, I believe that it could get me healthy. I just don't care enough to follow through on it because it's hard and uncomfortable. But if it's your belief. Right, Then you would follow through on it.

[Female Host]

Yeah. It kind of takes you down a rabbit hole too. Like, so if that is. If that's the case, then do you actually believe that being healthy is important? Whatever that looks like.

[Male Host]

Right. Yeah. You're giving an example. I get it. Yeah.

[Female Host]

But because if you did, wouldn't you do something for it? Like, if you believe that you could? When I can. When I was like, I'm in. I want to get out of the debt that I have, I believed that I could do it, and I did what I needed to. Soldiers do it. But I sold my feet picks. I made PB and J's with my feet and sent them to people.

[Male Host]

I'm telling you, man, buy one of those.

[Female Host]

I will do it.

[Male Host]

Sometimes I think I'm like, are people really doing this? Because what am I doing with my life? Why am I making it so hard,

[Female Host]

literally, on Instagram today? Making what so hard? On Instagram today, I saw this woman who said it's like she made tons of. Started making tons of money in tips. Tips. Because she was a. Like a. A food delivery, like, Uber eats delivery person. And you know how you have to take a picture of it at the door? She included her feet. And so I don't believe this. For a second, I was like, are you kidding me?

[Male Host]

I feel like this is urban legend where everybody's like, I'm taking photos of my feet. Are you telling me there are that many people out there that are that turned on by feet and that I could step in a cake with my pretty manicured toes and somebody would pay me for it because set me up.

[Female Host]

I know. Let's do it.

[Male Host]

Who wants to run? Hello?

[Female Host]

Chocolate, vanilla, red velvet. What kind of cake you want?

[Male Host]

You want me to mix it up with my feet? Bake it? What, you want me to step on a peanut butter? I saw somebody said they made toast. Like, they stepped on the bread with their foot and then toasted it. And.

[Female Host]

Oh, my God, you know what your thing should be, like, the things you don't eat. Like, a huge banana split Sunday with all the on it, but you don't eat it. You just, like, march around.

[Male Host]

Yeah, pizza. Even though I love pizza.

[Female Host]

Cheese pizza. Okay, this is weird.

[Male Host]

I honestly, I don't even think. I think it's funny. Yeah, it's hilarious when people are like, I couldn't believe you would. I'm like, I would do it so fast if you told me where and how and that I actually was going to make money. It's feet. Who cares? Yeah, it's feed and food, whatever. To each their own. But if somebody wants to pay me for my feet, holla, holla. I am.

[Female Host]

Because there's definitely.

[Male Host]

These things are manicured or pedicured every two weeks. They are clean. They are painted. They are pretty.

[Female Host]

But if you want to see feet that haven't been pedicured in about seven years, I'm your God.

[Male Host]

I got you.

[Female Host]

I just like, men's feet don't need to be seen unless they're at the pool or the beach.

[Male Host]

So what's the point? Should always be done.

[Female Host]

They aren't. Now, my feet aren't nasty, but, you

[Male Host]

know, as long as they're not nasty, like, you shouldn't have nasty toes and you shouldn't have, like, rogue skin, heel dry, cracked heels.

[Female Host]

Like, like I used to have.

[Male Host]

Because the worst, especially if you're not single, like, if you got to get in bed next to somebody, don't bring your nasty toes up over here.

[Female Host]

The other day.

[Male Host]

Mine got to be done. Yours got to be. I'm not saying painted, but I'm saying, yeah, cleaned.

[Female Host]

I got in bed and I was like, I gotta get up. And I was like, what are you doing? I was like, literally, my toes are gonna shred these sheets. I need to trim and file and just give. Give a little love and care to my toenails because they are growing. Honey, you want to climb a tree?

[Male Host]

He's. I'm like, what supplement you taking exactly?

[Female Host]

Started putting that the collagen every morning. I'm telling you, it sure does work.

[Male Host]

I know. I think that I'm getting my nails done tomorrow because I was like, God, it's only been two weeks and these suckers are.

[Female Host]

That's actually.

[Male Host]

We've digressed so far off of our topic of belief.

[Female Host]

I was gonna say that's something that I changed my mind about and that is like the. And this is really controversial. I don't see sex work as morally wrong. Not that I want to do it, but I, I like. I think that

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[Female Host]

Oh, no.

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[Female Host]

I used to think someone doing that was doing something wrong. It makes me sad if someone doesn't want to do those kinds of things and feels like they're the only way

[Male Host]

to make money or something.

[Female Host]

Like. Or like. Like you hear about like girls who dance at gentlemen's clubs and they. That's talked about like such a sad thing for those girls to be doing. And I realized some girls might want to do it and it might not be sad bad. And that needs to be okay people.

[Male Host]

Again, you got to remember what kind we. We had a conversation about like kinks and all that stuff, right? Like some people. Is it called being a voyeur? Like if you like people to watch you or you like to be naked in public? Some people like it and if they like to dance on top of it and somebody's throwing dollar bills at them.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

Like, again, if it doesn't affect you, if you don't want to go to the club, don't go to the club. If you don't want the lamp dance. Obviously, there's a big difference between sex trafficking.

[Female Host]

Totally.

[Male Host]

And 100. Or like, somebody being forced to, like you said, or that they feel like that's their only way and they hate it. And then there's somebody choosing to do it. I. Oh, I've. When it comes to that, I always just think it's none of my business. It doesn't affect me.

[Female Host]

Right.

[Male Host]

I don't understand certain things. Like where it's like, well, the like. Because in Vegas it's legal prostitution. Yes.

[Female Host]

Huh.

[Male Host]

Because I'm like, well, it shouldn't be anybody's business if somebody gets paid. First of all, isn't that what marriage is? Isn't that what marriage essentially started as? I'll give you a cow. You give me a cow, I'll give you my daughter.

[Female Host]

Exactly.

[Male Host]

Like, that was sex trafficking right there.

[Female Host]

100.

[Male Host]

And like, even now, like, marriage. Okay. Like this and this and this. And I'm providing the home. And you're like, there's financial transactions that go along with it.

[Female Host]

My only thing is, I'll be damned if I'm selling my body. I should not have to pay a tax. A sales tax.

[Male Host]

Yeah, I'm already paying.

[Female Host]

Okay. Yeah. The government will get you going and coming. Literally. Well, sorry.

[Male Host]

They don't, though, if you're doing it anywhere other than Vegas.

[Female Host]

Because that's.

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Right.

[Male Host]

You're not claiming it. That's why they're mad about it. Because they're like, we have no way to track.

[Female Host]

That's where the term under the table comes from. They do. No, no.

[Male Host]

I was like, I mean, maybe. I mean, I understand. It's like, oh, yeah, I slip you money under the table, but, yeah, I. I gotta assume there's way more things that, like, I used to think one way about and I don't now because I'd like to believe that I've grown and matured and opened my mind up.

[Female Host]

Well, it could also mean that you have not. You aren't someone who had such strong, rigid opinions about a lot of things.

[Male Host]

Probably somebody who has some pretty strong opinions.

[Female Host]

I was that. Who always had something to say about. I still am, but I'm a little. A lot more open now. Now. But when I was younger, like, when I think about my approach to things in my early 20s, it's like, God, what an annoying. Like, well, I had an opinion about everything, and I thought that what I was saying I had. I, Like, I believed that I was right. There's just a lot of things where I'm like, that's crazy.

[Male Host]

Yeah. Maybe I wasn't so much like that. Where it's more like my, My, My strong personality was more about, I don't want to be told what to do. This is me. This is my life. So let me be.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

But not necessarily on anybody else.

[Female Host]

Yes.

[Male Host]

I think I probably had a lot more, like, curiosity questions maybe, like, about certain things. Like, even when you were talking about, like, the thruffle, I'm like, I got a million questions.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

I got no judgment, but, oh, my God, do I want to know?

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

So I think maybe I've always had that person, but I'll. I would argue with the best of them, but it was usually I was arguing in regards to me. Like, if somebody was like, you shouldn't do that. I'm like, who the you think you're talking to? I do whatever I want. Like, let me tell you why you do you. But if you're gonna come at me with that, let me tell you why that doesn't work for me.

[Female Host]

Yeah, Yeah, I. I think that's good.

[Male Host]

But I don't think I was necessarily like, you need to be this way or you need to be that way.

[Female Host]

Huh. I still struggle, like, even telling if I'm with someone. I don't mean with someone like a relationship, but if I' in the company of someone who's acting or saying something that I don't like, I have to catch myself from trying to parent that person and be like, you shouldn't talk like that. You shouldn't say that. You should go tell them. Thank you. It's like, you annoying. Stop thinking that you have to have an opinion about everything that someone does.

[Male Host]

I mean, there are definitely certain circumstances where I'm like, oh, your kid's being rude.

[Female Host]

Can you have embarrassing me?

[Male Host]

Or like, like I said when we were talking about family and I was like, oh, yeah, you gotta be careful. Like, because there are certain things with my family where I'm just like, like, how do you think that is? Okay. Why would you ever think that this is a morally good person when they did A, B, and C? I just need you to explain it to me because you're religion and all the things and good. And then you. You tell me you are okay with this person. And I'm like, yeah, Those things don't add up.

[Female Host]

Right.

[Male Host]

So kind of like you said, are you just operating out of this? It's been said to me. So I've sort of bought into it without really even thinking through what I'm saying.

[Female Host]

Yeah, I think that's it.

[Male Host]

But even then I tend to try to keep my mouth shut because I get myself in trouble. So I'm like, it's not your fight.

[Female Host]

Yeah. Well, moral of story, I think that I like, I'm glad we had this conversation today because I feel like it also allows me now when I have a really strong like I know that, I know that I know opinion about something. There are some things even now that I do feel that way about. I still hold it with a little bit more. But you know, you've, your mind has changed before.

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

So be a good person. I do know that it's never going to change. I'm never gonna think it's okay to just like physically harm people or try to make people feel, you know what I mean? Spread the love is a non negotiable forever and none of us get it perfect all the time.

[Male Host]

Right.

[Female Host]

But in terms of like other things, I'm like, you know, that's what I think now, but one of these days it could change.

[Male Host]

I also, I will just say yes, I agree with you and I think one of the biggest things I would say is just if it doesn't affect you directly, mind your business.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

Like I just think it's so crazy that we all think we're entitled to have opinions or that somebody else has to have like the same opinion or the same mindset as you. Like if you believe in blah, this, this about this religion, that's fine. But that doesn't mean I have to.

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Right.

[Male Host]

But sometimes I feel like people think like they have to force it on you so that they feel. Right. Right. Or if, if you feel one way about, I don't know, you mentioned abortion, that's fine then you don't do that.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

But you don't get to tell me that if something horrific happens to me

[Female Host]

that I would have to follow your conviction.

[Male Host]

Follow your convictions.

[Female Host]

Yeah. You know, the thing is that I really do. The reason I think that I felt so strong about pushing my beliefs when I was younger is because when you're raised evangelical, which isn't Catholicism is not as evangelical as like where I, how I was raised, you think it is your actual job, like you're supposed to make everyone believe the way that you believe because you figured it out right. You just happen to be lucky enough to be born in the right place, around the right people, to be told the right things that the rest of the world needs to believe what you believe. It's like I'm saying that as a joke, but that is how people look at it. And so it's so freeing for me to be like, you know what? I don't know. As much as I thought that I like all that that I thought I knew is none of my business. To make other people believe it. My only job is be good to others, treat myself kindly, and keep it moving. Yeah.

[Male Host]

You know, keep it moving.

[Female Host]

Speaking of keep it moving, we're gonna keep this moving. Yeah.

[Male Host]

And by moving, we mean wrapping it up.

[Female Host]

Thank you for tuning in and we'd love to hear if this has, like, res. Resonated with you. I kept almost saying resonated, resigned. If this resonated with you. And there's a topic that you really want us to hear about, though, that you've shifted your beliefs and that we didn't hit. I'd love to hear it. You can email us. It's Everything Perfect. Everything's perfect. Podcast gmail.com.

[Male Host]

yes. Or you find us on social. Everything's Perfect Official on Instagram. And we are still doing Phone of Friends. We didn't do one for this episode, but we got a good one coming for next week.

[Female Host]

That's right. We have plenty in the queue and we want to get some new ones. So until then, we'll talk to you guys later.

[Male Host]

Bye.

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