Donald (2:03)

But the point is because if you go to Mexico, for example, which I love going to Mexico, you. You can't just walk off the resort. There's like security guards, they have it locked down. This, like you had to cross a street to get to the beach where people were just jogging and riding bikes and it was, it was out of the resort.

Autumn (2:24)

Yeah.

Donald (2:24)

You know, I thought that was so cool.

Autumn (2:26)

It was, it was. It kind of felt similar to like in Miami. Like if you're at like one of the hotels right there on the strip, like, yeah, you walk across the little thing and you're on the beach and the resort has their chairs and stuff like that. But you're not technically in the resort. But it was. It was beautiful. The resort was beautiful. The food was delicious. Everybody was nice. We didn't have a peep show shower.

Donald (2:52)

Right.

Autumn (2:52)

Which was fantastic.

Donald (2:54)

We couldn't figure out how to turn off the damn light in the hall for a while. But our last day.

Autumn (3:00)

Let me tell you what electricians, I think sometimes they do it to with people. You know, like you walk into houses and stuff and you're like, what does this light switch do? And then it's like the most random light down the hall or whatever. And you're like, why is this here? Right, that's what it was. The light switch to turn off the hall was next to one of the beds.

Donald (3:16)

Yeah, right. I remember our last night there. I was like, what's this switch to? And none of the switch looked like light switches. That was really weird. But it's so true. My. I was at my parents for Thanksgiving and my dad.

Autumn (3:31)

Oh, no. Has.

Donald (3:33)

Well, so they have like. You know how a lot of houses have, like, the front family room, but then there's like a little family room off of the kitchen. It's like big open space. So in that room they have a TV that they never turn off because it's an old TV and it might not turn back on.

Autumn (3:48)

Oh.

Donald (3:51)

But they always keep it muted because they're not watching it all the time. And Nell was like, so does this TV also not make sound? It's like always playing, but they're like, no, no. But anyways, the TV turned off.

Autumn (4:01)

Oh, no.

Donald (4:02)

And I was like, I did not touch it. And Nell was like, I didn't touch it. And my dad was like, somebody probably flipped the light switch over there. And it was literally like in the opposite corner in the kitchen. I'm like, how are we supposed to know that that's gonna up the tv? Because that's how electricians do it.

Autumn (4:18)

You ever see the Friends episode where Monica, like, and Rachel switch apartments with Joey and Chandler? I remember across the hall and Monica's ocd, and she's like, what does this light switch do? And she keeps flicking it and punching holes in the wall trying to find it. And at the end of the episode, she's like, I guess it just does nothing. And then they pan over to Rachel and Monica's old apartment where Joey and Chandler are watching TV and Phoebe's there and she's like, look, I can Turn the TV on. And every time Monica looks it, she's like, it just does nothing.

Donald (4:50)

Yeah. That is so funny.

Autumn (4:53)

That's what it is.

Donald (4:54)

That's literally what happened. I was like, okay, well, you need to be putting signs or covering the y.

Autumn (4:59)

How many labels on things. Wow. We went off anyway, but Aruba was amazing.

Donald (5:04)

It was fabulous.

Autumn (5:05)

Then we came home for 36 hours. And then you went to your parents for Thanksgiving and I went to Ohio.

Donald (5:11)

How was Ohio?

Autumn (5:14)

Everything was perfect. Okay, here's what I will say. It act like it was a great time with my family. I had a great time. I saw my dad and spent a little time with him. But I didn't stay at my dad's. I stayed at my cousin's house. So I let Dom and Cade stay with my dad. That's how it needed to be.

Donald (5:37)

Yeah.

Autumn (5:38)

So that was a. That was a bonus that helped keep things peaceful. But I got sick. I. Okay. So I kept thinking, remember when we were in Aruba and we made our aloe scrub and they were like, if you touch this aloe.

Donald (5:51)

Yes.

Autumn (5:52)

Before it's been washed, you're going to be like running to the bathroom.

Donald (5:55)

Yes.

Autumn (5:57)

Okay. Remember the little kid next to me that was like playing with it and was touching everything on the table? I'm wondering if, like, somehow. But that guy implied that it would start rather quickly. But yeah. The entire time I was in Ohio, my stomach was. No, it was not perfect. It was very bad.

Donald (6:18)

Was that your only symptom? Did you have a fever?

Autumn (6:21)

I ended up with a really low grade fever one night, but I do. I could have been dehydration at that point.

Donald (6:27)

That sucks. Also in the cold.

Autumn (6:29)

Oh, my God. What the. Okay. Got there and I was like, ain't this some. It started snowing. It was so. It was bone chilling. It was like 30 was like the highest it got. It was 27. Was most of it just snowing, snowing, snowing. There's like black ice. And I love my family to death, but you know, they're built for the cold. And your girl hasn't lived in the cold in over 20 years.

Donald (6:56)

Yeah.

Autumn (6:56)

They're like, oh, yeah. I keep the heat at 68 during the day. I'm like, that ain't heat.

Donald (7:01)

Right?

Autumn (7:02)

27 and snowing outside.

Donald (7:04)

Absolutely.

Autumn (7:06)

I sleep at 66. But no, during the day it's 65 here right now the house is set at 72. Like, can we get some heat?

Donald (7:15)

Yeah, I always. If I'm using heat, it is above 70. Like, yeah.

Autumn (7:21)

I was like, that's one of the reasons I don't stay at my dad's, because he doesn't turn the heat on.

Donald (7:25)

The winters can just be so bitter, cold. You do forget living here. Like, bone chilling. We especially. Well, how do. What year was their house built? Like, do they live in newer houses?

Autumn (7:40)

I don't know. I mean, it's a very nice house.

Donald (7:42)

Yeah. Well, the reason I ask is because when I lived in Ohio, we grew up in a 100-year-old house. It was built, I think, in 1919.

Autumn (7:50)

So, like, no insulation.

Donald (7:52)

Literally, we covered.

Autumn (7:54)

No, their house has insulation.

Donald (7:55)

The windows. We have insulation, but the windows and everything with just the. The breeze, which is cut so bad. We covered the windows with plastic.

Autumn (8:04)

My grandma did that winter time.

Donald (8:06)

And we had a huge bed, like, quilt bedspread that we covered our whole front door with to keep the draft that we could just pull aside when we. It was like, literally, you better take cover in those winters. And when I started working, I was like, people should not be expected. If you have to take an ice pick to your car door to get it open. You shouldn't have to go to work. Like, these are not.

Autumn (8:31)

These are not safe conditions. They're not work conditions.

Donald (8:34)

Not at all.

Autumn (8:35)

I was like, I'm about to be the fattest, laziest person ever, because it doesn't matter what I eat right out. So I was like, might as well eat whatever I want.

Donald (8:46)

That's right.

Autumn (8:46)

And I didn't even. I only packed sweats. I literally was like, I'm here for three days. I know I'm not gonna put on jeans.

Donald (8:55)

Good for you.

Autumn (8:56)

Yeah. And then I just couldn't wait to get to Florida. So that was good.

Donald (9:00)

Yeah. I have gotten used to. So my parents have been in there. Lived in Arizona now for 10 years. And so I haven't, like, done the winter holiday with snow and stuff in Ohio in a while, but we had a really nice time. I have a. My favorite part of Thanksgiving was my. I have one nephew, and he is, like, two, almost two and a half. And he's actually at a really fun age because last time I was there, he was still a little bit crazy. Like, you're just chasing him the whole time and keeping him from hurting himself and running into things. And this time he's actually playing, and, like, he's not talking that much, but he's very much communicating.

Autumn (9:40)

Okay.

Donald (9:41)

Like, pointing. He's making sounds like he's talking. Like, he'll come up to you and be like, I don't understand you, bro.

Autumn (9:49)

I haven't talked to drunk people like this in a long time.

Donald (9:51)

Exactly. Huh? Yeah. Let me take a shot. Maybe I'll make. Maybe I'll get on your level. So it was really nice just having the family time and hanging out.

Autumn (10:01)

That's so fun.

Donald (10:02)

Yeah.

Autumn (10:03)

Okay, I have a question. Does your family ask you all the questions that you're like, you know, just mind your business. Like, well, I guess you and Nell already live together. Do you guys get the. Are you gonna adopt? Are you gonna have babies? Are you gonna get married? Like, do they ask you all the inappropriate questions that are like, can you just stay in your lane?

Donald (10:24)

So that. My family has gotten really good when I was single, because I have been single a lot more in my adult life than I've been in a relationship. And I'm very happy being single. And sometimes, like, when I'm really frustrated with Nell, I stop and I'm like, okay, you do prefer this. But that's how much I liked being single, because there's that. I just love myself and having my. I guess more than saying I love myself and I please myself. Kidding. The. I just like my space. So anyways, my. I used to get those questions all the time. Like, are you. Do you think you're ever gonna, you know, want to be with somebody? I'd be like, well, damn, if the right person comes along.

Autumn (11:05)

Yeah.

Donald (11:06)

So it's a lot better now. And they were asking about, like, kids and stuff, but we started saying, we don't know if we want to have kids. And so they've kind of stopped asking. They're just happy that this is the longest relationship I've been in, and it's not even two years yet. And my. So they're happy that. Okay, this is a good role. Yeah, he's on a roll, you know.

Autumn (11:27)

Okay.

Donald (11:28)

What about your family?

Autumn (11:29)

Oh, my family knows no boundaries. Not a single one.

Donald (11:33)

I love it.

Autumn (11:34)

You know, that's the first thing they want to ask you. Mm. Well, what's going on? Because they know that, you know, I had a hard breakup. And so, of course they want to know more details about that, because when it happened, I, like, just didn't answer their phone calls for weeks.

Donald (11:47)

Yeah.

Autumn (11:48)

Because I was like, I don't talk about it. Leave me alone.

Donald (11:49)

Of course.

Autumn (11:50)

And so, you know. But then they. They get you in person.

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Autumn (12:24)

Hey, this is Sarah. Look, I'm standing out front of AM PM right now, and, well, you're sweet and all, but I found something more fulfilling, even kind of cheesy, but I like it. Sure, you met some of my dietary needs, but they've just got it all, so farewell, oatmeal. So long, you strange soggy.

T-Mobile Announcer (12:42)

Break up with bland breakfast and taste AM PM's bacon, egg and cheese biscuit made with K tree egg, smoked bacon and melty cheese on a buttery biscuit. A.m. p. M. Too much good stuff.

Autumn (12:53)

And they want the tea, man. And I'm just like, guys, I'm good. Are you dating anybody? Well, what about this? What about that? Like, are you trying? I'm like, oh, my God. Yeah, it's. You know. And my family will. They've gotten better about some things. Like, I remember when I used to go home, it used to always be about like, well, autumn doesn't eat this, or, Autumn does. Well, why would it. Why don't you just have the data? Why don't you have more drinks with us? Or whatever. I think they've gotten to the point now at 45, where they, like, I'm 45, where they just know, like, okay, this is her.

Donald (13:30)

She's not gonna.

Autumn (13:30)

She's either gonna. If she wants a glass of wine, she'll absolutely have it. And if she doesn't, there's no forcing it down. She's gonna eat what she wants. Like, they always make fun of me because I love to just postmate her instacart. But it's not a, oh, I love to do it. It's that I don't like to imposition anybody else. And I'm not trying to put my way of eating or things like that on anybody else, nor do I expect anybody to buy me anything and have it, you know, ready. Yeah, but they're always like, oh, you know, your cousin, or, you know, she likes to postmate or she likes to instacart. And I'm always like, damn.

Donald (14:06)

Like, let me live. Yeah.

Autumn (14:10)

If a girl wants the foot of snow outside falling, like, let me instacart.

Donald (14:16)

That's a really big thing, actually. I think food and the holidays. Does your family do potluck? Style. Like, how does Thanksgiving.

Autumn (14:24)

The word of.

Donald (14:25)

Or did it look? I should say.

Autumn (14:27)

Yeah, it's sort of potluck. It's like, everybody's got their sort of dishes that they do. Like, my Aunt Donna always does my grandma's stuffing, and she always does the. The. Like, these, like, white and red potatoes. My cousin Maria, who hosts Thanksgiving, usually does the turkey. Couple sides, and then, like, then from there, like, my Aunt Val always does the pies. She likes to bake. And then from there, it's like everybody kind of fills in.

Donald (14:59)

Yeah. Was there a lasagna at your things?

Autumn (15:01)

There was.

Donald (15:02)

I thought I saw that on your plate.

Autumn (15:03)

There sure was lasagna on my plate.

Donald (15:05)

And was it, like. Were there pears on your plate? I'm trying to.

Autumn (15:08)

No, I think those were the white potatoes that my Aunt Donna does.

Donald (15:11)

Okay.

Autumn (15:11)

Yeah, there was. There was white potatoes, then there was, like, sweet potatoes, then there was the lasagna turkey, the cranberry sauce I made. Oh, there were green beans on there.

Donald (15:28)

Were they just regular green beans, or was it a green bean casserole?

Autumn (15:31)

No, it was regular. It was, like, more like a green bean salad, like a cold salad that my cousin did.

Donald (15:34)

Okay.

Autumn (15:35)

I had a roll. Like, I said. Honestly, it was way more.

Donald (15:39)

I might as well just take this and throw it in the toilet. It's good together. No, Literally the same amount of time.

Autumn (15:46)

It had been so bad that I was like, at this point, my body needs something.

Donald (15:51)

Exactly.

Autumn (15:52)

So not to be disgusting and graphic, but I was like, like, it.

Donald (15:56)

Yeah.

Autumn (15:56)

Like, I was like, we were probably looking at this plate. Like, didn't Autumn and Donald talk about, like, oh, yeah, and you decide which ones you're gonna have?

Donald (16:02)

And I was like, not today.

Autumn (16:04)

That went out the window.

Donald (16:05)

I love my. I. It's obviously terrible being sick, but I. I don't hate the moment of, oh, I need to eat carbs for my health.

Autumn (16:16)

Yeah, that was fun for a second, but I actually still, like. Because I'm still. I'm on the men, but I'm not 100, but I'm on the men. I feel inflamed. Like, I feel swollen at this point from it, because it was so many days of it. You want to laugh really hard, though.

Donald (16:32)

Oh, God.

Autumn (16:34)

Just. Man, the universe was really with me on this trip. So we're out Christmas shopping, like, holiday shopping. We're at the mall, and the mall we're at. Like, you go to the food court, and there's nothing healthy. But I was starving. I'm like, I need food, and it was like, what's the least worse? Or I guess at this point, what's just going to taste good? Because these are all bad options. So it was like, Sbarro's pizza. Huh? I get, like, this huge piece of pizza.

Donald (17:00)

Oh, yeah.

Autumn (17:01)

And as I'm taking a bite, somebody comes up and was like, are you Autumn? I'm like.

Donald (17:10)

No.

Autumn (17:11)

She's like, no. She's like, I love that you're eating pizza. It's all about balance, right? And I was like, actually, yes, that's fine. It's fine.

Donald (17:18)

That's so funny.

Autumn (17:19)

Then I'm at the airport to fly home from Florida two nights ago, and I wasn't even that hungry, but I also knew I hadn't eaten that much for the day, and I didn't really want to eat the airplane food. And it's the Fort Lauderdale airport. There wasn't that much. Anyways, I sit down, and I got to be careful about what I'm eating, because Lord knows you don't want to get stuck on an airplane.

Donald (17:41)

Exactly.

Autumn (17:41)

With a problem. So I just ordered a burger and fries. I was like, great. And I'm gonna eat the bun. I couldn't tell you the last time I ate a bun. I am full on eating this burger and fries. And this waitress comes up or server comes up to me, and she's like, are you in fitness? And, like, I have a mouthful of burger, and I'm like. I nod my head and I'm like, yeah. And she goes, oh, my table ass. And I look up, and this girl's, like, waving at me.

Donald (18:04)

I was like, it's like burger grease running down your hand.

Autumn (18:09)

I was like, that's twice.

Donald (18:13)

Oh, my God.

Autumn (18:14)

People are probably like, what is.

Donald (18:16)

You're double dunking your fries in mayo and ketchup.

Autumn (18:21)

I totally.

Donald (18:22)

I love it.

Autumn (18:24)

Dipping the burger. I actually squeezed the mayo and the ketchup, and I mixed it with a fry and then dipped the burger in.

Donald (18:32)

Oh, yeah. I love it.

Autumn (18:37)

And then right after that, the universe said, hey, let's run into the person that broke up with you.

Donald (18:42)

Oh, my God.

Autumn (18:44)

Getting off the flight, I was like, what's happening here? What Twilight Zone?

Donald (18:50)

What did I do?

Autumn (18:51)

Yeah. Oh, my God. I feel like I'm a good person.

Donald (18:57)

Damn.

Autumn (18:58)

I'm sweating right now just thinking about it. I am sweating. Wow. So boundaries.

Donald (19:04)

Yeah, I'll say.

Autumn (19:06)

Anyways, let's go back to that, though. Boundaries. Because I think that's something people deal with a lot.

Donald (19:10)

Yeah. Well, okay. So thinking about food, I think that's Such a big one around the holidays because you feel if your family brings something, I know it's warm in here. This is going to be a raw situation with these pleather pants I have on came in. I'm like, well, these are staying on for a while. If you're listening, I'm wearing these like, like faux leather pants. And if you haven't seen that Friends episode of Ross trying to take off the leather pants, fuzzy sweater, I wanted to look, you know, wintry.

Autumn (19:43)

Okay, well, my tatas might come out at this point. We're doing great. Yes.

Donald (19:48)

So, but anyways, I think around food boundaries are, can be really hard. Especially when you don't want to be rude to someone who prepared it.

Autumn (19:54)

Yes.

Donald (19:55)

And so it's like, how do you set that boundary? Because even though, yes, you don't want to be rude, the fact is if you don't want to eat something, that should be the number one place you can comfortably set a boundary and say, I, I don't eat that. Whatever your reasoning is, maybe you're allergic, maybe you don't like it, maybe you're on diet or nutrition plan. You don't. We feel this like reason also sometimes that we have to explain ourselves when we set a boundary. And you really don't even have to do that.

Autumn (20:25)

Well, it's like they say no is a complete sentence.

Donald (20:27)

That's absolutely right.

Autumn (20:28)

And I think that this doesn't even just apply to the holidays, but I know the holidays is like, can be so stressful when you're around so much family and everybody has questions about different. Are you going to college? What are you doing with your life? Are you babies, marriage, food, all the things everybody wants to comment on everything. But in terms of food, I think, you know, that is, that can be a year round thing. Like when, if you pivot. Right. Because we're coming up on the new year and people want to, you know, a lot of times make new health goals.

Donald (20:59)

Yeah.

Autumn (20:59)

And make some changes. And I don't know why people think it's their place to weigh in on how somebody else is choosing to eat. There is one thing when you're looking out for somebody and their health of like if they're significantly overweight and they're struggling and maybe they've asked you to help them or you know, you got to be careful when you say significantly underweight because people seem to, people seem to think I'm underweight. Like, my problem is I'm good. I eat all the time.

Donald (21:29)

Yeah.

Autumn (21:30)

Reference the pizza and burger.

Donald (21:31)

Yeah. Just ask Anyone who sees me in.

T-Mobile Announcer (21:33)

Public.

Autumn (21:35)

But they do. And like, everybody, you know, like, oh, if you say something like, oh, I'm. I'm trying to lose weight, or I'm trying to be healthier, so many people will kind of chime back in with like, oh, God, that's so ridiculous, or just eat it. You only live once. And it's like, so how do you set that boundary? Me personally, I had to do it a long time ago when I was a fitness competitor. That was like, the first time I really had to deal with it. And I just got really good at being really. Matter of fact. No, I'm good. No, I'm in training. No, I don't need that anymore. No, I'm not eating that right now. And if they would at. Or, you know, if they'd make a snarky comment or whatever, I just sort of tuned it out, let it roll over, kind of would remove myself maybe from the situation. If I could, like, depending on where I was at, like, start another conversation with somebody, not in a rude way, but just in a. Like, that. That conversation is over. We're not going into why. I'm not. I'm not. That is my choice. That's the end of the discussion.

Donald (22:47)

Yeah. You know, I think. I think a good way to say it is to, like, I'll say, no, thank you, but it smells wonderful, or, no, thank you, but enjoy it looks so good, right? Or, no, thank you, but say something that, like, compliments or. Or takes away. Because I think the reason people push is because at least maybe this is what I've made up in my head. Because there's this game of, oh, you're not eating it, so you think you're better than me because I'm eating it. But. And so then they go into, well, it's the holiday, so they're pushing you to do it so then they don't have to feel bad about eating it. When it's like, I give zero about what you eat in this moment. You can do whatever you want. I'm just trying to manage what I do.

Autumn (23:32)

Yeah.

Donald (23:33)

And so that's why I try to give like a. Yeah, like, no, thank you, but oh, my God, it looks good. Enjoy.

Autumn (23:40)

I like that. I think that's good.

Donald (23:41)

You know, but some people still are like, why not? And then it really is as simple as, well, because I don't want to be a fat bitch. I'm just kidding.

Autumn (23:54)

I mean, not. Not really, but not in that mean way. But not like you're trying to be healthy.

Donald (23:59)

Nell is actually if I give a real life scenario, I am someone who enjoys. I don't. I really do not overindulge in most things that I can think of right now. And when I was younger I did a little bit more but I think that's just a part of maturing. Or it was for me anyways. But I still will be like, oh.

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Donald (25:24)

Like some. And now basically like if I want pasta, for example, Nell will be like, I'm really focusing on my fitness and I would rather have hearts of palm pasta.

Autumn (25:36)

Okay.

Donald (25:37)

And I find myself saying to him, well, a little carbs are actually not bad for you. And there's nothing wrong in pushing him. When really what I should do is say, okay, you know what I mean, you're gonna have a hard time.

Autumn (25:53)

I'm gonna have blah, blah.

Donald (25:54)

Exactly. So I do I only say that to say I understand that instinct to try to get someone to enjoy something with you. Especially something that for whatever reasons you are really looking forward to. But if it's not, if they don't want to, we should all collectively agree to just respect that boundary that people say.

Autumn (26:14)

I think sometimes too it's a bonding thing when it comes to food.

Donald (26:17)

Totally.

Autumn (26:18)

Like if you're out on a date. I know this came up a lot like for me over the years in general, like, you know, a lot of times somebody wants to order a glass of wine or a bottle of wine. Oh, do you want to get a bottle? Because that's two glasses each. Right. And for me, a lot of times I would find it where it would be, like, not really drinking, or I don't really want to drink a lot right now. But, like, you're also trying to be present in the moment. Enjoy. And I just had to be okay with it in my mind and saying, oh, I'm gonna have one, so probably not the bottle, because I won't have a second. So, like, unless you're going to drink the rest of it, I'm only going to have one. And by the way, if you're with somebody that really understands you and respects your choices, then they're not going to have an issue with that, and so that's fine. But I think sometimes it feels like it's the bonding experience of enjoying it together. But I still think you just got to be okay with, once you've made the choice, sticking with the choice and not letting yourself get bullied into it. And it usually only takes a couple of times with the person for them to. For them to understand and get that you're holding your ground. But if you give in every time, then they're gonna keep pushing you because it's like, oh, well, they gave in last time, so they're not really committed to it. And then they'll. They'll keep pushing you.

Donald (27:38)

Yeah. I also, like, when I was vegan, I would communicate in advance with people about what I did or didn't eat. And why are you smiling like that?

Autumn (27:50)

Because I was an. And I was like, don't you want a burger?

Donald (27:52)

You know you want it.

Autumn (27:53)

You know you want to stay.

Donald (27:55)

Sure did chip away until she cracked. Look at me now.

Autumn (27:58)

Only because you would tell me, I dreamt about a burger.

Donald (28:03)

My friend was, like, talking about me eating meat, and he was like, are you okay? I was like, never. So, yeah. But I would tell people in advance, like, just a reminder, I don't eat dairy. Or I'll still say that. Yeah. Like, if someone. If I'm going someplace and there's a menu, I'll be like, I'm gonna bring this. Just as a reminder, I don't eat dairy, but make. Whatever.

Autumn (28:25)

Yeah.

Donald (28:26)

And so two things I like to bring. Let's say it was a dessert, and I brought a healthier dessert option. I'm not going to eat what's there because it has a lot of dairy in it, for example. But I bring enough of what I have to share. So if someone wants to have that bonding experience, they can Step over to your side. My. Yeah, my side or the light side. Right. Or like, if you. If I. Whatever it is that I make, I make enough to share. And so it's not like, well, this is my. I'm gonna have this experience over here. Yeah, but you. Like, at some point we have to stop. When I was working at the restaurant, I told people I don't think anyone should take in calories that they don't want. Like, that should never be something you do because you feel pressure to do it. It's something you should do because you enjoy or you have a specific goal, whatever, but it's about you not pleasing other people.

Autumn (29:19)

Well, okay, let's move off the food for a second. Like, what about when trying to find your cup? The right piece. How many cups?

Donald (29:26)

Yeah.

Autumn (29:29)

Because, yeah, food is one of them. But then you get on the topic of. Right. Depending on your age. Like, well, are. Are you ever getting married? Are you ever gonna find somebody? You're alone again for the holidays? Like, it's like, first of all, to the people saying that to somebody, can you just use, like, a semblance of common sense that that might hurt somebody? Like, some people might be completely okay with it. Listen, they may have been burned a million times. They're good. Like you said, you're very happy being single. That's a good space. And you were in it for as long as you wanted to be in it until the right person came along. But I think people make you feel, like, so bad. Like, that's not really a topic that you need to. Like someone knows in a wound, like, they know they're single.

Donald (30:16)

Exactly. Yeah. Someone is totally aware, and they're either.

Autumn (30:19)

Really okay with it or. Or it's probably already hard enough as it is. They probably don't need you reminding them. So if you're the person asking your child, asking your niece or nephew or whoever when you're going to get married, like, especially, maybe they are dating somebody and the person sitting there, don't do that to them on the holidays, where now they have to have that awkward moment between them of like, oh, yeah, we're talking about it, or whatever. Like, you're.

Donald (30:48)

Girl, you want to know? Awkward.

Autumn (30:49)

Oh, no.

Donald (30:50)

Imagine being in your mid to late 20s, you haven't come out to your family, and they're all asking you when you're gonna get a girlfriend. Instead of being a man at 26 years old and saying, never, you say.

Autumn (31:02)

No, I don't know.

Donald (31:03)

The right one comes along and it's just like, yeah, it's like, oh, my God. I still think about that. Like, what was I. Who was I pretending?

Autumn (31:16)

Well, that's very different. That is a very hard topic. So that's like, when you're ready. It's so funny. I just watched Kevin Hart's new special.

Donald (31:23)

I haven't seen it.

Autumn (31:24)

Oh, my God. First of all, I watched it on the plane ride to Ohio, and I put it on before. Like, I. I was sitting at first. So everybody's boarding, and I'm watching it, and I am crying listening to it. It is so funny. And people probably thought I was insane. I was laughing so hard. Dom looks over at me and he's like, mom. And I'm like. Like, it's too good. He's talking about. He's responsible for the family gatherings, and his nephew is like, unc, I need you to get everybody together. I got something to say. And he's like. We all walk in the room, and he stands up and he was like, I just need you all to know I'm gay. And he's like, yeah, quick. But then Kevin goes into it and he's like, I just like to speak for all of us and say, we know. He's like, he was in a tube top that says, my booty holes brown. So funny. I was dying. You have to watch it. It's so good. But anyways, point being, yes. Like, they ask you that question, like, when are you gonna get somebody? And it's like, you're. Again, you're. You're either irritating the person because they're quite content being alone.

Donald (32:35)

Yeah.

Autumn (32:36)

Or maybe they're in a healing process from getting hurt. Like, they don't. Like. I know. You know, you don't always share the second you're in a relationship because you want to see where it goes. Or they're already probably having a hard enough time that they're single and it's the holidays. Like, maybe shut the fuck up. Maybe mind your fucking business.

Donald (32:57)

Right. I think maybe part of the problem is people just don't know how to start conversations, and so they pry about things that to some people, they might not feel comfortable talking about and also not know how to set a boundary. I. I was at a birthday party, and one of my friends who I haven't seen in a long time was there, and I was like, so, are you good? He was like, yeah, I'm good. And, you know, like, time ago. And I'd be like, so, really, everything's good with you? I must have asked this, like, six times. Everything is Good. He was like, do you want something to be wrong with me? I was like, honestly, I just don't know what to say. Give me more than yes.

T-Mobile Announcer (33:38)

Yeah.

Autumn (33:39)

Trying to start a conversation. Yeah, exactly. Great. This is what's going on in life.

Donald (33:42)

Yeah. And I honest, obviously, it's like, it was funny. We laughed about it and he wasn't offended at all. But I also, I do oftentimes like to ask people, so what's new with you? Because then if someone says, oh, I got a promotion, they're opening the door to ask them about their work.

Autumn (33:58)

Right.

Donald (33:58)

Or if someone says, oh, I'm seeing someone, or I'm in the dating pool, they're steering it there instead of approaching someone being like, so you seeing anyone? How's your job going? Right. Like, you know, I think it's, I think opening conversation but leaving space for people to talk about what they're comfortable with is the thing.

Autumn (34:17)

Yeah, it's the, it's the way you ask the questions. And I love the open ended, broader question. Like you said, like, what's going on? Is there anything new? That kind of thing. Or like, what are you looking forward to this year? Or like, what was the best thing that happened this year?

Donald (34:34)

Yeah.

Autumn (34:35)

Where you can ask those questions and let somebody search for something good.

Donald (34:39)

Right.

Autumn (34:40)

Instead of automatically pointing out something that might be a sore, A sore subject. Or like, you know, if you're talking to somebody a little bit younger, like, well, what are you doing with your life? Or like, oh, you're not going to college. Or, oh, you switched your major again.

Donald (34:56)

Yeah.

Autumn (34:56)

Like, hey, tell me what you love about college. Like, what's your favorite class? What's going on? Like, however you want to word it. Or if they just graduated from college, like, how's it going? Like, what, what are you excited to do? What are you excited to try? Like, then it gives somebody something positive to speak about instead of defending why they haven't done something that you feel that they need to defend.

Donald (35:22)

Yeah. So how do you think that someone should set a boundary in real time in those. And say someone presses someone about their work, like, what are you doing with your life? Type question.

Autumn (35:35)

I have to step outside of Autumn's brain because I. The way I set a boundary is a little bit. If I might be a little bit.

Donald (35:44)

Sharper than what others may.

Autumn (35:45)

It might have a little bite to it. No, it doesn't have a bite to it first ever. But I also do not take well to being pressured if I don't want to talk about it. I Let somebody know.

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Autumn (36:28)

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Donald (36:58)

That is so true.

Autumn (36:59)

Like, I say it and I'm short, right? Like if I don't, I keep the answer short. Read the freaking room right. If I didn't go into detail, there's a reason I don't want to talk about it. Let it, let it go. Yeah, but there are other times where I think you just have to. You could say it nicely but firmly. I'm good with where I'm at. I don't really want to talk about that right now. If they're asking you about, you know, oh, are you in a relationship? Are you dating? Oh, you should try to meet somebody this way. You. I'm good. Mm. I'm. When the time's right, I will meet somebody. And when I'm ready to share that with everybody, I will share that. Like I, you know, you just, you say it. Matter of fact, yeah, that's it. And if somebody keeps trying to push like. So this portion of the conversation is done. Let's talk about something else.

Donald (37:49)

Yeah.

Autumn (37:50)

Like, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying it. We're done talking about this.

Donald (37:55)

Yeah.

Autumn (37:55)

Now I probably. If, if I get to the. We're done talking about this. I'm probably not saying it very nicely. I'm probably like, we're not talking about this anymore.

Donald (38:05)

Yeah.

Autumn (38:05)

Like you haven't gotten the clue the first three times. So now let me tell you, we're done talking about this. Don't push me there and I won't go there.

Donald (38:14)

But I love that.

Autumn (38:17)

But I do. Like I said, I think you just have to be matter of fact. You can be matter of fact and be polite. But I also think that if somebody keeps pushing that you have the right to be a little bit more firm in the fact that you don't. That's not a topic that we're gonna.

Donald (38:34)

Talk about, I think.

Autumn (38:35)

What would you say?

Donald (38:36)

I try to first steer the conversation. So let's say someone's like, so how's work? Like, let's say that's the question. I probably would be like, and I didn't wanna talk about it. I might say, well, you know, work is work. I've really been into yoga lately.

Autumn (38:54)

Right.

Donald (38:54)

And then all of a sudden I'm like, that's that. We're leaving that there and I'm moving here. And most people pick up on that, right? If someone's like, okay, but what do you mean by work is work? Then I'd probably say, I just really don't care to talk about it, honestly.

Autumn (39:08)

And then that's when they want more tea.

Donald (39:10)

And if they're like, why? What's happening? It's like, you're on my nerves is what's happening. And you're not realizing at this point.

Autumn (39:19)

That you're the problem.

Donald (39:21)

I'm like, enough about me, let's talk about this, honey. What's happening? What's happening here?

Autumn (39:25)

What's happening here? Why? How about we get into your tea?

Donald (39:29)

Yeah, give me some tea.

Autumn (39:31)

Yeah.

Donald (39:32)

So that's what I try to do. And usually it works. And you people are just. I think people might be getting better about food and stuff. It seems like a lot more old school. Like, families are the ones that are like, eat.

Autumn (39:48)

Yeah.

Donald (39:48)

Like, what is this? Hansel and Gretel? Yeah. And kill me.

Autumn (39:52)

Thank you, mama.

Donald (39:57)

Him. So, yeah, I do.

Autumn (40:00)

I honestly. You want to know who I think the biggest offenders are? I think the biggest offenders are parents to their kids.

Donald (40:07)

Yeah.

Autumn (40:07)

For usually kind of overstepping the, like, are we gonna get to throw a wedding? Oh, your hair looks. Oh, are you eating enough? You don't look so good. You don't look so good. You know what I'm saying? Like, it tends to be parents that are like, like my overstepping.

Donald (40:25)

My mom and I, I have such a good relationship with my parents, but she cracks me up because she has turned into the. The mom who, like, worries. For example, Nell and I doing the high rocks competition. She's like, concerned for our well being. She's like, you need at least a year to prepare for this.

Autumn (40:43)

Oh, my God. How out of shape does she think you are?

Donald (40:45)

Be careful your heart. She says all that stuff.

Autumn (40:48)

I'm like, your mom thinks you are.

Donald (40:50)

Like, mom, I'm okay.

Autumn (40:52)

First of all, we haven't even told our everything's perfect family here. Oh, yeah, you guys, I'm so excited. So in Aruba, so I signed up again with Trend, my management company. They were like, hey, we're all getting together. We're gonna put Hyrax teams together in February in Vegas. Are you in? And I debated it for a second, but then I said it. Your girl's crazy.

Donald (41:17)

Let's do it again.

Autumn (41:18)

And I get to be on a team with three of my good girlfriend. So I'm really excited. And it's Vegas, and I wanted Donald to come because he came to the last one and he cheered me on. But at the end of my first one that I did, Dee was like, it actually looks fun. I kind of want to do it. So we're in Aruba. And I was like, I think you and Nell should do it. It's Vegas. Vegas, baby.

Donald (41:38)

Yeah. And I looked at dinner. At first we were like, but they sell out fast. Who knows? And we looked and there was. There was. They had avail. You could still sign up. And I was like, texting Nell and we did it, and they signed up. I'm so excited. Excited. And it really has me. It reminds me of something. And this is totally off subject, but having a goal is such a good thing. And when teach teaching dance, we always talked about having a goal, whether it's competition or showcase or something. Something working towards. And I think in my fitness, it has become like a part of my lifestyle. I do it because it makes me feel good. I like to be strong. I like it for aesthetic reasons. But I have never had a go like this. And I'm excited. It's so. Yeah, I'm doing it. Stay tuned for that, guys.

Autumn (42:29)

Very excited. But I think it's hilarious that your mom was like, you need a year. But I do love it because I know we've completely pivoted. We're done with the boundaries.

Donald (42:38)

Set whatever. Set boundaries. Tell people to off if they don't respect.

Autumn (42:41)

Basically, happy holidays. Shut the up. We love you, but mind your business.

Donald (42:45)

Mary. Miss.

Autumn (42:48)

You can sit with us. We. We won't ask you those questions, but if you want to talk about it, we will jump right on board with whatever you want to go into, but onto high rocks. Yes. I. I always have loved having something to train for, like being a competitive dancer. That's what you were working towards, being a fitness competitor. Because it gave me so much purpose when I stepped into the gym. And it's funny because even though I was like, yes, excited, I'm doing high rocks. The second you said you were doing Hy rocks too. Like, even in Aruba, you and I were getting in the gym and we were like, yeah. Like, we went so hard.

Donald (43:22)

Oh, God.

Autumn (43:23)

And it felt so.

Donald (43:24)

You couldn't walk.

Autumn (43:26)

You might have.

Donald (43:27)

Questionable. My mom might have had a point.

Autumn (43:30)

Donald basically tried to be ready for high rocks in one day.

Donald (43:34)

I could not walk through lax.

Autumn (43:36)

When we landed bad, that was actually quite funny. I was like, oh, my God, you broke your groin.

Donald (43:43)

Yeah. My adult doctors. Oh, my God.

Autumn (43:46)

That's a skit. And Gavin Hort's thing. It's so good because I was thinking about you. Oh, you gotta watch it. Please watch it.

Donald (43:54)

I'm going to.

Autumn (43:55)

But yes. Having that goal. I get up every morning and I am so excited. We're doing the Hustle Hard workouts and I'm like, this is going to be so great because obviously the way I design Hustle Hard, very functional, but also endurance based, but muscle building. Like, so it's just having that goal, whatever that goal is, because it's like, great. We have a. A date, a deadline. And that's the beauty of obviously having a program is like, great. It's like, what can I accomplish by the end of this length of time? But I really think that competitive side and we. You're fine. I mean, you know, when we were in New York and I did Hyrax, it was every age, every body type, every fitness level. Obviously, since we've talked about Hyrax and looked at things on my phone, it's all it serves.

Donald (44:41)

Yeah.

Autumn (44:42)

Now. But it literally showed me the other day. It was like a partners and it was a. A woman and her grandmother.

Donald (44:50)

Oh, wow.

Autumn (44:51)

Her grandmother was 82. And they did it as doubles, which meant she had to do all eight. The grandmother at 82 had to do all of the events.

Donald (44:59)

Yeah. A portion of it next with each other. And they had to sit next to each other on the. Huh.

Autumn (45:03)

And so I'm like, If grandma at 82 can do it. Which I just think is so like you were saying when we were watching it, like, it gets you so excited. It brings tears to your eyes.

Donald (45:13)

Yeah.

Autumn (45:14)

Like, I feel.

Donald (45:16)

Yeah. It's really exciting. And it just makes. I was also thinking because, you know, we've had like our AI episode and everything is just getting so much AI.

Autumn (45:25)

Distorted and not real.

Donald (45:26)

And I was like what we always have that is like organic is our fitness One of the things like we always. There's no, there's no AI that's going to be able to make us physically active and healthy.

Autumn (45:42)

Yes, you can lose weight via different weight loss drugs now but that does not mean that you're healthy now. You're of course you can be healthier. It doesn't mean you're fit.

Donald (45:52)

That's what I mean.

Autumn (45:53)

Like doesn't mean muscle athletics. Strong functional movement patterns.

Donald (45:58)

Yeah. There are things, there are definitely like products and peptides and things that everyone's using that help and I'm not anti any of those things. But still it is about you showing up. Yeah.

Autumn (46:10)

And doing the work.

Donald (46:11)

Doing the work. And I love that. And now I have a goal while I'm doing it.

Autumn (46:15)

I kind of think the next thing I want to write for a group for us is an at home training program that would train somebody for like a hyrox competition.

Donald (46:25)

I think that's awesome because you know.

Autumn (46:27)

Like there are gyms and stuff that offer it like F45 is A. Is a member with Hy Rox like they team up. But even that could be really intimidating to somebody who's not done it before. Done it before doesn't really, you know, it's a little scary or sometimes it's just easier to do it at home. Right. If you're, especially if you're training in the winter it's like I gotta drive out in the thing to do or some people might not even want to get all the way. They might not want to actually do the competition but training for it because it is functional movement patterns. So I do think that's like the next thing I want to write is something to train for that I love it.

Donald (47:04)

And it showed up in my regular life. Like while we were in Arizona we for Thanksgiving we went to a park with my niece and nephew and my niece is probably like 50 something pounds and she wanted a ride back like so I put her on my shoulders all the way back to my parents house and so I did a couple lunges with her because I was thinking about the sandbag lunges and also just, just the I was my traps were so tired by the time I got back to my parents house where if it wasn't for having to do high rocks in a couple months a few blocks out I would have been like okay, let's pass it off to Someone else. But now I'm thinking, okay, you have to push yourself. You have to expand what you know your limit as you have to be okay, being uncomfortable and keep going. And I'm just. I love it because it puts your mind in a different place where you. You want to challenge yourself.

Autumn (48:00)

Yeah. That's the growth. Right. It's not the, oh, you have to do 10 reps. The growth doesn't happen there. The growth happens in rep 11.

Donald (48:07)

Exactly.

Autumn (48:07)

And 12 when you're. You get tired. The growth happens in the next few reps. Not the, oh, as soon as I got to the tired point, I stopped. You gotta keep doing it with form.

Donald (48:19)

Right. That's what I love. Also about our. The program that you just wrote. And we filmed Hustle Hard because thinking of it, I was doing it today. We're on day two in our challenge. When you hear this, we'll be much more in it. But when we're recording it, and I was like, this is so good because of the. What is it that you like? Having to hold the holds. Yeah, having to hold it, having to keep pushing. You want to take a break? Like, I've gotten very comfortable and enjoy lifting heavy and then taking a minute rest and then lifting heavy. And this just pushes in such a different way. I'm loving it.

Autumn (49:00)

Well, I didn't work out for six days because of my stomach and all the travel, and I just was drained. And I was like, okay. And it was just freaking, you know, I understand more now, like when you're younger. Like when I was in my teens and 20s living in Ohio, I think, you know.

Donald (49:16)

Yeah.

Autumn (49:17)

45, and it's snowing outside. I'm like, I don't want to do anything, put a fire. I don't want to sit here, watch tv. So I get it a little bit. For people that are in these colder areas, how much harder the winter months can be to get motivated. I do. But I didn't work out for six days. So yesterday I did was day one of Hustle Hard, and it was a leg day. Now, what I will say I was proud of is I did all the same weight that I did when we filmed it, which is good because I was. Hadn't worked out for six days, but, oh, I was dying. I could barely keep up with myself on the thing. It's. That's the thing about fitness, man. It is not money in the bank. It is like, you take a few days off, more than two or three, and you're going to feel it when you come back. So it's like, that's. If nothing else, stay consistent because.

Donald (50:06)

So you don't lose it.

Autumn (50:07)

Yeah, but I said this yesterday in our group. I was like, for as hard as that workout was, I was. It felt so good to move. I was. My body was hurting in every way possible. Those six days that I didn't work out from how much I had been sitting, my back was killing me. Like, by. Because of my scolio, like, nothing felt good. I was like, yeah, the 30 minute workout was hard, but being sedentary for those six days was so much harder. It hurt so much worse. So, yeah, it felt really good to get back at it, but. But I feel it.

Donald (50:41)

I love it.

Autumn (50:42)

I feel those quads.

Donald (50:44)

Me too. And my back today because.

Autumn (50:48)

Yeah, I haven't done it yet.

Donald (50:49)

Oh, you haven't done it yet.

Autumn (50:50)

I'm gonna do it after this.

Donald (50:51)

Yeah, it's good.

Autumn (50:52)

Oh, you guys, you know, family holidays. But these are just topics in general that I think we all face. Boundaries being one of them. That to make your life better, you've gotta be able to set them with people.

Donald (51:06)

And even though they may be awkward in the beginning and might feel like a little bit of a rift, they actually make relationships stronger, too. And I try to always remember that setting a boundary isn't just for me. It's actually to, like, make sure that me and that person can continue in a positive relationship. Because if they're always crossing a boundary, that makes me uncomfortable. We're not going to be able to have a good relationship.

Autumn (51:32)

Yeah. Eventually you're just going to be like, I'm done with these conversations because you're not respecting how I feel.

Donald (51:36)

And as you get used to setting your own, you also get better at respecting other people's and finding them, picking.

Autumn (51:42)

Up on their signals, even. Even. Yeah, because, yeah, even. Somebody shouldn't have to come right out and say, I don't want.

Donald (51:48)

Yeah, you should be able to know they don't want to talk about.

Autumn (51:49)

You should be able to read the room really quickly. Like, but you have to be aware of it. If you're just too busy trying to get your question answered, then it's harder to do.

Donald (51:57)

Yeah.

Autumn (51:59)

All right. As always, we want to know what you guys think. We want to know if you guys have questions or a topic you guys want us to cover. So, you know, you can email us Everything's Perfect possible podcast gmail.com.

Donald (52:11)

That'S right. As always, you can hit us up on Instagram. Everything's Perfect official. And also we have a website that you can go to everythingsperfect.com did you just say that?

Autumn (52:22)

Nope. Okay, I said the email.

Donald (52:24)

Yeah, everything's perfect.com and you can check out. We have our first merch drop there so if you want to get some everything's perfect apparel, check it out there. And we have new merch coming.

Autumn (52:34)

Yes, we'll see you guys next time.

Donald (52:36)

See you guys.

Autumn (52:37)

Bye.

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T-Mobile Legal Disclaimer (53:06)

Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans plus the cost of optional benefits. Plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required.

Autumn (53:18)

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