Everything's Perfect…Except Texting Is Stressful Now
Podcast: Everything’s Perfect
Hosts: Autumn Calabrese and Donald Stamper
Episode Air Date: November 4, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode of "Everything’s Perfect" dives into the surprisingly stressful world of modern texting. Autumn and Donald explore how texting and digital communication have gotten complicated, especially around etiquette, punctuation, emojis, and generational lingo. Mixing real talk, witty banter, and personal stories, they unpack the anxieties and misunderstandings that come with today’s messaging habits, all while keeping the tone light, authentic, and funny.
1. Catch-up & Small Acts of Kindness (01:00–15:55)
Life Updates & Tangents
- Donald and Emily catch up on their week, sharing stories about real estate anxieties (Emily’s air-conditioning drama while selling a house), and property management mishaps (Donald’s renter disaster) [01:23–04:44].
- Both reflect on how acts of kindness from others have helped them navigate tough situations, from dance students helping with repairs to strangers fixing cars for free and neighbors patching tires [05:42–08:48].
- They emphasize that small, unexpected gestures can restore faith in humanity.
Emily (07:17): "It still brings tears to my eyes because it was such a sweet, over-the-top thing. ...It was not like trying to hit on me or anything. It just, it was so sweet.”
Paying It Forward
- Stories about “pay it forward” moments—from a woman buying Emily asparagus at the farmer's market to Donald’s next-door neighbor patching his tire—highlight community and generosity [09:01–10:29].
- The hosts encourage listeners to help others, especially given recent cuts to social assistance programs, underscoring the importance of supporting friends, neighbors, or even strangers in small ways [10:30–11:38].
Donald (10:53): “Now is really the time for those who can help somebody with a bag of groceries… It really is the time to feel the magic of people coming together and helping, because it has changed my life.”
Giving Traditions for the Holidays
- Emily shares her tradition of supporting foster children during the holidays—sending Christmas Eve dinner, gingerbread houses, bikes, and gifts [13:00–14:49].
- Donald describes the "giving tree" idea, where party guests pick ornaments labeled with children’s gift wishes for collective giving [14:49–16:00].
- Hilarity ensues with a family story about poorly labeled gift boxes: “porn” as an abbreviation for "preschool or nursery" [17:29–18:23].
Donald (17:29): "She realized all the boxes that were going to the preschool and nursery age kids said 'porn' on them..."
2. The Minefield of Modern Texting (18:46–43:52)
Punctuation & Tone in Texts
- The conversation pivots to how punctuation, especially periods, dramatically change the tone of a text [19:00–24:17].
- Donald admits to using exclamation points excessively and confesses to relying on ellipses without knowing the term until recently [20:00–21:08].
- ‘Periods’ at the end of short text responses feel “aggressive” or “formal” and can give the impression something is wrong.
Donald (23:41): “But how do you take it? ...Like, somebody put periods at the end of their sentence and you’re like, so you hate me?”
- They tease about overanalysis—taking "Thank you." vs. "Thank you!" to mean the difference between genuine gratitude and passive-aggression [23:49–24:17].
- Donald reads a deadpan text exchange filled with dry periods, making Emily laugh about how stressful minimal punctuation can seem [24:54–25:42].
Emojis: To Use Or Not To Use?
- Both agree emojis are key to clarifying tone, but they worry about overuse making them look immature or unprofessional—especially in new work or dating scenarios [26:00–27:27].
- Emily shares she piles on emojis (“heart and a smiley blushing face and exclamation point and rainbows…”) to assure people she’s being friendly or joking [26:47–27:13].
Emily (26:47): “I need to make sure you know I’m not being mean.”
Most-Used Emojis & Trends
- They compare their most-used emojis live on air. Donald favors the “heart hands” for softer affection with friends; Emily’s go-tos are “smiling blushy face” and “laughing face” [29:14–32:04].
- They discuss generational shifts in emoji meanings (e.g., “peace signs and duck lips” becoming uncool), and how even simple symbols spark debate (thumbs-up, heart, okay hand) [29:53–30:09, 34:45–35:59].
- Donald jokes he’s “one meme away from being a meme” when using emojis incorrectly.
3. Texting Etiquette: The Written Rules (37:13–43:52)
Texting Manners
- Emily vents about “serial texters” sending single-line messages as separate texts, causing notification overload: "ding, ding, ding” [37:24–39:09].
- They offer guidelines:
- Multiple single-sentence texts = anxiety
- Four or fewer sentences? One text bubble.
- Five or more? Break into two—if much longer, opt for a voice memo or call.
Emily (39:09): “You have to understand the etiquette of when to use these things…”
- Long paragraphs via text are discouraged; break down logistics-heavy conversations into voice memos or real-time calls [39:55–41:20].
- Voice memos over two minutes are considered too long—just pick up the phone!
Group Text Nuances & Overwhelm
- In group chats (like for their podcast), voice memos can be handy for efficient communication when scheduling a call is too complicated [42:18–43:38].
- Donald jokes about his low “bandwidth for messages” and how easily they both get overwhelmed.
4. Abbreviations, Acronyms & Gen-Z Lingo (43:56–59:41)
Classic Text Abbreviations
- Emily’s quizzed on standard acronyms: LOL, BRB, IDK, SMH, IMO, IMHO, FYI, TBH, and more; she breezes through them [47:03–47:39].
- They poke fun at how “in my honest opinion” is code for “go f yourself” [01:00, 47:20–47:24].
New Slang & Generational Disconnect
- Donald brings AI-generated examples, including abbreviations they find suspicious or confusing (e.g., “BFFR” = “Be for real”; “IYKYK” = “If you know, you know”; “FRFR” = “For real, for real”) [48:21–49:39].
- They question abbreviations that butcher spelling ("HBU" for "How about you?").
- Autumn highlights how fast new lingo emerges that even their kids are wary of them using—words like “aura,” “no cap,” “mid,” “rizz” (charisma), “drip” (style), and “skibidi” (undefined, context-driven) [50:23–55:36].
Emily (51:36): “If you do something stupid, you lost your aura. Or if you do something really cool, you’re like, I have all the aura.”
Notable Laughs
- Emily’s story of sending surprise NSFW photos to a coworker during meetings for pure mischief [33:05–34:26].
- Unpacking odd new terms—“my ball” as a Gen Z endearment, which the hosts find hilarious and unflattering [57:31–59:15].
Donald (58:06): “If I had a significant other calling up their ball… We’re breaking up. So. No, not your ball.”
5. Takeaways, Listener Engagement, & Final Laughs (59:30–End)
- The hosts both admit to feeling a bit “dumber” for knowing some of the new lingo, but also remind listeners not to stress about not keeping up [59:34].
- They invite listeners to send in communication horror stories (but "never send us a period" in a text or email!) [59:41–59:55].
- Contact info and show social media is shared for fan interaction and questions.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On the stress of periods in texting:
- Donald (23:41): “...somebody put periods at the end of their sentence and you’re like, so you hate me?”
- On emoji overuse:
- Emily (26:47): “I need to make sure you know I’m not being mean.”
- On 'my ball' lingo:
- Donald (58:06): “If I had a significant other calling up their ball… We’re breaking up. So. No, not your ball.”
- On generational slang:
- Emily (51:36): “...if you do something really cool, you’re like, I have all the aura.”
Key Timestamps
- Real estate & property mishaps: 01:23–05:35
- Kindness & giving stories: 07:06–16:07
- Texting & punctuation woes: 19:00–24:17
- Emoji usage & decoding: 26:00–32:04
- Texting etiquette & voice memo tips: 37:13–43:52
- Abbreviation Quiz & Gen-Z slang: 43:56–55:36
- Unpacking new lingo ("my ball"): 57:31–59:30
Episode Tone & Takeaway
Warm, self-deprecating, and peppered with hilarious asides, this episode is both cathartic and insightful for anyone who’s felt stressed by a simple “k.” For both fellow millennials anxious about a period or Gen Zers looking to outfox their parents’ emoji game, Autumn and Donald remind us that digital communication is tricky—and none of us are doing it perfectly.
Connect with Everything’s Perfect:
- Email: everythingsperfectpodcast@gmail.com
- Instagram: @everythingsperfectofficial
