Everything's Perfect...Except The Violence We Can’t Ignore

Podcast: Everything’s Perfect
Hosts: Autumn Calabrese & Donald Stamper
Date: September 16, 2025

Episode Overview

In this raw and timely episode, Autumn and Donald open up about the recent surge in public violence, including high-profile shootings and their aftermath. Steering away from politics-as-usual, they examine the emotional weight of violent events, the desensitization of society, and the urgent need for real, nuanced conversations. Their goal: to grapple with tragedy, acknowledge division, and demonstrate how to engage empathetically—even when opinions differ.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Starting with the Horror: Responding to Recent Violence

• The episode opens with visceral reactions to a widely-circulated murder video and the assassination of Charlie Kirk ([00:00]–[01:12]).
• Autumn: “One murder. Horrific. Shouldn't be happening. Hard stop.”
• Both hosts reflect on the trauma endured not only by victims, but by all those who witness such acts, directly or indirectly ([00:21]).

2. Navigating Opinion in a Polarized World

• Donald acknowledges the difficulty of hosting an “opinion podcast” during divisive times ([01:29]).
• The hosts highlight the nuance that’s sorely missing from most discourse:
  • Autumn: “The world and life is just not black and white… that is just not the lens at which I look at the world.” ([02:36]–[03:01])
  • Donald: “We live in a time that is so polarizing… you start feeling like you can’t say anything because you’re going to make somebody angry.” ([03:01]–[03:53])
• Their goal: foster healthy engagement even in disagreement ([03:54]–[04:09]).

3. Social Media & Desensitization

• Both are disturbed by the circulation of violent videos online and the public's ability to “just keep scrolling” ([08:09]–[09:34]):
  • Autumn: “How are we all just okay that we see it, we hear about it and we just keep going?” ([09:28])

4. The Personal Impact of Violence

• Donald shares a harrowing personal story: witnessing a shooting death from his own balcony ([10:07]–[12:02]).
• Both discuss the impact on parents, educators, and children—especially as school shootings become tragically common ([12:02]–[14:29]).
• Autumn: “I've never been more thankful that I homeschool my kid. I don't even want him leaving the house.” ([12:08])

5. Remembering Columbine, Then and Now

• Reflect on how the 1999 Columbine shooting marked a grim cultural milestone ([12:53]):
  • Donald: “The first big one I remember is Columbine… it was like, what do we do to make sure this never happens again?” ([12:56])
• The frequency and normalization of mass shootings is deeply troubling ([13:01]–[13:29]).

6. The Gun Debate: Rights, Myths, & Lived Experience

• The “right to carry” argument is dissected ([25:35]–[26:19]).
• Donald shares his experience of being robbed at gunpoint and why owning a gun does not necessarily provide safety ([26:50]–[29:52]):
  • Donald: "If I had a gun, they would have stolen it. That’s what would have happened. It’s not the movies." ([28:37])
• Discuss how assumptions about what someone would do in a violent situation are often detached from reality ([29:04]–[29:17]).
• Both agree that while they support rights, “something has to change” ([25:41]–[26:19]).

7. Mental Health, Desensitization, and Societal Roots

• The hosts question why so many shootings are committed by youth, urging that mental and physical health (such as nutrition and gut health) be considered when approaching possible solutions ([34:39]–[35:05]):
  • Autumn: “Shouldn’t we make it about something about health? Because mental health, like, it’s all tied together.” ([34:39])

8. Mourning Victims While Opposing Hateful Rhetoric

• The complexity of mourning someone with divisive views, like Charlie Kirk, without condoning hate speech ([15:13]–[20:08]):
  • Donald: "Political violence, a shooting, period, murder is wrong like always. ... But I also know a lot of people feel differently, but he said a lot of specific things I think are very damaging. But that doesn’t matter." ([15:46])
  • Autumn: "I can say with 100% conviction that for as strong as I believe that murder, shooting, all of that is never the answer. I feel just as passionately about … somebody spewing hate towards anybody. Wrong. Hard stop. That’s it.” ([17:46])
• Emphasize the right to call out hateful rhetoric while condemning violence without “either/or” thinking ([38:10]–[38:33]).

9. Religion, Law, and Bodily Autonomy

• Strongly critique the increasing infusion of religious doctrine into politics and law, especially regarding abortion and marriage equality ([39:17]–[43:45]):
  • Autumn: "My body, my choice, my right. Government has no place … neither [religion nor politics] has a place in my body." ([40:11])
  • Donald: “People have a right to worship and practice their faith. However, ... you’re not more American if you’re a Christian than if you’re a Muslim.” ([39:44])

10. Racial Profiling, Immigration, and Inclusivity

• Critiques of racial profiling by ICE and the injustice of individuals being targeted for their language or appearance ([46:29]–[49:33]).
• Personal anecdotes ensure the conversation remains grounded in lived reality and empathy.

11. The Role of Technology in Human Disconnection

• Both question whether social media and technology have amplified or merely exposed the worst in us ([51:12]–[52:51]):
  • Autumn: “You used to live in your community and you knew your neighbors … that humanity was there… nowadays… everybody’s face is in the phone.” ([51:12])

12. Hope for Meaningful Dialogue

• A mutual desire for more open and respectful conversation—online and off ([53:30]–[55:16]):
  • Donald: "If someone wants to engage with me, present something maybe I haven’t thought of in a respectful way... I love those kinds of conversations and I invite them." ([54:55])

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "One murder. Horrific. Shouldn't be happening. Hard stop."
  • Autumn, [00:00]
• "Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one."
  • Autumn, [01:44]
• "We should be sick. We should be sick by these things that are happening."
  • Donald, [09:34] & [22:10]
• "How are we all just okay that we see it, we hear about it and we just keep going?"
  • Autumn, [09:28]
• "If I had a gun, they would have stolen it. That’s what would have happened. It’s not the movies."
  • Donald, [28:37]
• "If you’re judging somebody because of the color of their skin, because of their sexual preference, their gender identity, you know you’re wrong."
  • Autumn, [17:46]
• "If you are listening and you're against gay marriage, I encourage you not to get one. Don't get gay married."
  • Donald, [42:26]
• "My body, my choice, my right. Government has no place."
  • Autumn, [40:11]
• "We can't have a podcast called Everything's Perfect and not talk about the hard things."
  • Autumn, [55:40]
• "Having uncomfortable conversations might be the first step to healing."
  • Donald, [58:01]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:00] – Raw reactions to violence, horror, and trauma
• [01:12] – Podcast’s responsibility and the challenge of sharing opinions
• [02:36] – Nuance and avoidance of black-and-white thinking
• [08:09] – Violent media online and questions about societal desensitization
• [10:07] – Donald’s personal account: witnessing a shooting
• [12:02] – Parenting in the age of school shootings
• [14:29] – The evolution of public security: airports & mass events
• [15:13] – Responding to the assassination of Charlie Kirk
• [26:50] – Firsthand experience: Donald’s robbery at gunpoint
• [34:39] – Discussing broader causes: mental and physical health
• [38:33] – The difficulty of critiquing messaging while respecting loss
• [39:17] – Religion, law, and personal rights
• [46:29] – Racial profiling, immigration, and American identity
• [51:12] – The role of technology and loss of in-person community bonds
• [53:30] – The value of dialogue, even with disagreement
• [55:40] – Reflections on the need for real talk and vulnerability

Final Thoughts & Tone

Throughout the episode, Autumn and Donald balance levity and gravity, trading wisecracks (“Opinions are like assholes...”) with moments of deep empathy. Their message lands with hope:

“Having uncomfortable conversations might be the first step to healing.” (Donald, [58:01])
“We just want people to be nice to each other. Oh, is that too much to ask?” (Autumn, [56:40])

They close by inviting listeners to share their thoughts—so long as it’s with kindness—and reiterate that disagreement doesn’t mean disrespect, nor is the world simply “perfect.” It’s messy, heartbreaking, and beautiful, and they’re committed to talking about it all.