Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (2:03)

He's not kidding. He's moving to Arizona. And in we're recording this. It's three weeks from today. By the time you guys see it, he'll be leaving me in a week.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (2:13)

Yeah, no, that like three weeks from today. The movers come tomorrow in three weeks.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (2:22)

So. Remember when I said I was crying on the podcast?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (2:27)

Here we go. But the good news is I'm just moving to Arizona. It's only a state away. And we're going to keep doing the podcast. I'm going to have. I'm going to come to L. A at least twice a month and it's going to be a Good time.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (2:40)

You all better blow his DMS up and tell him what an asshole he is for abandoning me.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (2:44)

No.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (2:45)

As if I don't already have abandonment issues. He knows all of them and he decided that, oh, my water leaked on me. Now it looks like I peed myself.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (2:53)

Sure.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (2:54)

My thigh didn't pee.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (2:56)

I did pee on myself earlier. So embarrassed.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (2:59)

Because it was.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (2:59)

Okay subjects.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (3:02)

I just want to make sure I finish letting our listeners know to tell you that you suck.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (3:08)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (3:08)

For leaving me.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (3:10)

Yeah, I know. But no, I think it'll be more fun like, like obviously it'll be more.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (3:15)

Fun that he's not here. He's like, it'll be more fun now that I'm not around you.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (3:20)

No. But I. That it is such a bittersweet thing. In all seriousness, because Los Angeles, when I moved here nine years ago, it. But you know, so many people when you move from, you know, middle America to a coast in a big city, they're like, oh, I tried that. It was really hard. I was, you're a small fish in a big pond. You're going to be poor. You're going to live in your car, like all these things. And I'm like, jesus, that sounds terrible. And then. But I did it. And it's like every door opened so much opportunity and I've had the best life and it really has felt more like home than any place. But for some reason, there's just been a bit of a stirring to be a little closer to family, even if it's only temporarily. And I have brother and sister in law and niece and nephew and my mom and dad are all in Phoenix, so. I know. But I am excited for the change of pace.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (4:18)

I know. Listen, I'm happy for you because I love you and I want you to be happy.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (4:22)

Yes. And.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (4:24)

But it also sucks.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (4:27)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (4:28)

I just don't like knowing that you're not down the street from me. Not that you're down the street from me, but I don't like knowing that you're a five hour car ride away.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (4:37)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (4:37)

Instead of a 45 minute car ride away because of traffic.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (4:41)

Well, launch your beverage line. Get that private jet money, honey, and you can come on over anytime.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (4:48)

Listen, y' all don't complain about ads when they run on our things because that's.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (4:52)

That's how we get c. That's how.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (4:53)

We get D to keep coming back here. Okay.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (4:56)

Exactly. So how have you been other than.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (4:59)

Other than the fact that you're leaving me? I think good. Like, God, I, you know, I went To Mexico. I did my stem cell checkup. My shoulders healing well. My hip is healing well. There's still a little inflammation in both of them, but that's normal. I just got back from Dallas, went and saw my longevity. Doctors there. Takes a little while to get those tests back. Yeah, but remember, like, right after Aruba, like, we came home from Aruba for a day, and then I left and went to Ohio, and I was like, oh, I have a stomach bug.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (5:27)

Yes.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (5:28)

Well, I had a stomach bug. They. So when I got back, I was still having pretty bad issues. So I had called my doctor and we did a stool kit, and they just got those results back. And he's like, yeah, you had E. Coli. I was like, screw. But also I was like, well, don't you need antibiotics to get rid of that? And they're like, well, your body can clear it. And I was like, well, I feel like my body may have cleared a lot of. Of it. And I know, like, everybody has, like, some E. Coli in their system, but I still feel like mine must be elevated because, like, things are almost normal but not really normal. So we did another test, but it'll take a few weeks to get back, so I gotta do some, like, cleanse stuff to try to get the last.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (6:14)

Of that E. Coli, get that echo.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (6:16)

So I was like, God, I don't know where I would have picked that up. But, I mean, we traveled a lot. Like, that was a lot of travel. So who knows?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (6:24)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (6:25)

But other than that, anywhere, I'm great.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (6:28)

Well, that's good.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (6:29)

Yeah.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (6:30)

Got your E. Coli situation figuring out. You're almost there. Almost. We love it. We love to hear it.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (6:35)

Doing great. Thriving.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (6:37)

Thriving. Other than the fact. Me, too. Other than the fact that I feel like I can barely use my legs after these damn sprints. I'm crushing it. Ready for Hyrox. Get out the way.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (6:47)

The good news is it's not sprinting hyrocks.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (6:51)

Yeah. But I have a. So I have a theory. You can tell me since you've done hyrax before.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (6:54)

So do not try to sprint it.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (6:55)

No, I'm not going to try to sprint it, but if anyone. Okay, so a quick overview. I think we've mentioned it before, but just in case you're just joining on this episode, Hyrox is a competition based on time that Autumn has done before as a relay with three other girls. You can do relay with four people, and Nell and I signed up as doubles. So in doubles, Hyrox has eight events, and before each event, you have to run 1km. 1km. So.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (7:24)

So it's like 0.6-ish miles, right? Like 0.6 of a mile.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (7:28)

So you have to do that eight times plus the event. So anyways, that's actually a lot of running because if you think of a 5K is like three miles, then you got like five miles in there, right? Now divide that by die.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (7:47)

So anyway, divide that by hard.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (7:50)

Exactly. So I was thinking about it because yesterday I was running and. And it wasn't like sprints, but it was. You run at a fast pace, then you lessen, then you go faster than you lesson. I was like, you know, I think I'm. I think like running most of the run at a faster pace. And then before you get to your event, going slow, slower, and recovering before you jump into the event might be where it's at, but I don't know. That's my thinking. Instead of a steady state all the way into your event.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (8:24)

So, I mean, I've only done it once and obviously I did a relay, but for my real, like the two events I had when I did it last summer, they were back to back. So I had to run, do my event, finish my run, then run again, do my second event, finish my run. That's the way it was set up when you were in New York. I, I wouldn't say that it's a smart idea to do like a fast run most of the way. Now, listen, I guess it depends on what your goal is. If your goal is like, how fast can we finish this? Then yes, you do kind of have to set a pace, but you need to set a pace you can maintain because if you drain your tank too soon, you're not going to get through all eight events. Even though you guys get to switch on and off. Yeah, because I have seen people do that. Like, like they'll, they go too hard and the adrenaline's pumping on top of it and they can't get their heart rate back down. In fact, I just saw a guy talking about it. He, him and his friend were doing doubles and the one guy went too hard, too fast, and he couldn't recover and they had to pull out because if he would have kept going, he probably would. He probably would have gotten in trouble.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (9:37)

Like, oh my God. Physically, right. Medically, like, his heart would beat off his chest kind of. I had a moment today where I was like, you okay, girl? We got this a lot.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (9:50)

So I would say, being that it is your first ever hyrox, I think again, point six, you set a good pace. That you can maintain, because all of the events are endurance events, like your walking lunges, your sled push, your sled pull, so your heart rate's going to stay up. So I don't know that I would want to sprint and then try to do an endurance.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (10:11)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (10:12)

And have to keep that going. I think you want to find a pace you can maintain and try to maintain it, because then when you get your break, like, let's say you're doing walking lunges. So let's say you guys. Because you and Nell have to run side by side, and then you get to it, and you're going to start the lunges. All right. So you got the harder part because you're coming off the run going into the walking lunges, so Nell gets a chance to recover so that when he jump into the lunges, he's a little more fresh, he can make up some time.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (10:37)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (10:37)

And then while he's lunging, you're recovering so that when you go run again, you're a little more recovered. And then hopefully, Nell would start the next event so that you come off that run, you get a little time to recover before going in. And hopefully you would alternate like that.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (10:52)

Oh, see, I was thinking one of us should start everyone, and one of us should finish everyone.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (10:56)

No. Yeah, I would think you would want to alternate, because otherwise you're always.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (10:59)

Then you finish one, you run and you start one. So it's longer.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (11:04)

Somebody's always coming off that run, going right into the endurance. That sucks for that person.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (11:08)

Yeah. But it also sucks for the person who always comes out of the endurance going right into a run.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (11:13)

That's why I would say you keep alternating.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (11:16)

So just trade the suck. Which leads us into today's.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (11:21)

Well, if that wasn't well played, couldn't have made that one up. Trade the suck.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (11:28)

Trade the suck. That's what we do.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (11:29)

Okay, well, that's not what I do anymore, just unfortunately.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (11:36)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (11:36)

Okay, so we're gonna start with a phone a friend, because it's gonna lead us into our topic for the day. Because we did say, well, should I just read the phone a friend, or should we talk about. Should I say what our topic is?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (11:46)

Read the phone a friend.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (11:47)

Okay, well, real quick, y'. All. This is not a suitable for work conversation, nor is it suitable for children. So if you're in the car listening.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (11:54)

With the kids, you might want to pause and pick it back up.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (11:58)

This is. Everything's perfect.

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Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (12:06)

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Weight Watchers Member / Advertiser (possibly Mike) (12:25)

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Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (12:27)

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Weight Watchers Member / Advertiser (possibly Mike) (12:30)

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Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (12:31)

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Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (12:44)

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Geico Advertiser (13:00)

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Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (13:04)

Best cheesesteaks in town.

Geico Advertiser (13:05)

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Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (13:11)

They sure are.

Geico Advertiser (13:11)

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Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (13:20)

Not this onion I'm chopping.

Geico Advertiser (13:22)

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Weight Watchers Member / Advertiser (possibly Mike) (13:24)

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Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (13:29)

It feels good to Geico. Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (13:30)

Okay, here we go. Phone a friend. This person has requested to stay anonymous and you're gonna know why. Okay, here we go. I'm gonna read this one because there's some details in it, so I don't want to summarize it. Hi, you guys. I enjoy your podcast so much. I've been a fan since I met you both on my TV doing 80 days, so it's like we're already friends. Okay, so I'm gonna ask a question, but I'm not sure if it's too inappropriate and too intimate for a podcast, so I'll let you decide. But you say you want juicy topics, so here goes. And yes, we. Please keep me anonymous. Okay. Okay, here goes. I've been married to my husband seven years. We dated for three years before that. And I. I'd say we're a good looking couple who stay fit and look pretty good for A couple in our early 40s. We always had a good sex life together and were super attracted to each other and did some adventurous stuff sexually in the early days. Then two years ago, we had a daughter. So of course I went through a period of zero desire while I learned how to be a mom and work to get my body and confidence back. Thanks for 80 day, by the way. That's always what I go to when I want to get to feeling like my sexy self. Well, here's my problem. This is tough. Ever since my daughter was born, I lost my attraction to my husband. I don't know what it is. I'm horny all the time. Since I got back in shape. All the time. Like horny, horny. Take care of myself a few times a day. Horny, but not for him at all. That's hard to admit, but it's true and it sucks. I really do love my husband. There's not any other problems with the marriage. The sex has become routine and vanilla. He initiates and his libido still seems high, but it's me. I can't get aroused for him. I have to think about other things, people, scenarios. I fantasize about a bigger size to get myself going, if you know what I mean. He's big enough, but not fun big like I've had before. Then once he and I get started and clothes are coming off, I just lose the mood. For some reason, when he gives me oral, I'm just waiting for him to move along because it's just not pleasurable the way it used to be. Used to be my favorite. And then the sex starts and I'm instantly bored and want him off and out of me. Even if I'm on top, I don't want to be there. It's awful to feel this way because I want to go full crazy, sweaty animal sex in bed. Just not with him.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (15:39)

Ugh.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (15:40)

I'm obviously super embarrassed to bring this up to him and hurt his feelings. I think he thinks he's performing well and that I'm just taking a while to come back from having the baby and we're even talking about having another. But I barely want to do what it takes to conceive with him, if you know what I mean. So what? What should I do? I mean, I used to love sex with him. I'd try anything and it was so fun. But something shifted and I'm stuck. Like, asking him for a little spanking or to take more control to get me going defeats the purpose. You know, if a girl wants to be taken. She wants to be taken. Not have to ask to be taken. But I don't know where to start or what to do. That was a lot. Okay, there's my. Ask a friend. Please keep this anonymous. It actually felt good just to type this and send it to someone, because I don't talk to anybody about this stuff now to get the guts to actually hit send. And obviously she hits end.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (16:28)

Yes.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (16:29)

So there's a lot there. Yeah, there's a lot to unpack.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (16:32)

I really feel for her because it's something that obviously she doesn't want to feel.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (16:37)

Right.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (16:38)

And it is like, when things can feel off sexually, it's a really awkward thing to talk about.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (16:47)

Yeah.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (16:47)

And it almost makes it less sexy when you talk about it.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (16:50)

Yes. And I think more people go through it then you realize, because nobody wants to talk about it. Like, you don't necessarily want to bring it up to your friends. You don't want to talk to your significant other because you don't want to hurt their feelings. So I think, you know, d. And I always say we are not experts. We are not.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (17:07)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (17:08)

Qualified. We are simply friends.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (17:12)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (17:13)

Giving you the best could be terrible advice. So take it with a grain of salt. But let's dig. Let's dive into it.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (17:21)

I feel like the thing is. Well, so one thing I. I wonder. I don't know if I was feeling like I wasn't wanting to have sex with my partner, but I was masturbating often daily. Then the. The thing. I would stop doing that and see if I built up some of that sexual tension and focused on my partner, maybe I would be even more excited about it or engaged. That's one thing that comes to mind.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (17:57)

Definitely one thing. So I've been in that position kind of before, so I get it. I can only speak from, like, my experience. And I would say because. Because she said there's nothing else wrong with the marriage. And not that I'm, like, looking for a problem for this person, but I would say I would really look at it and ask yourself, is it just that the sex is vanilla, or are there even little things? Because sometimes it's little things that you don't even think that are, like, annoying you or bothering you that do kind of start to add up.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (18:33)

You got the ick, and you kind.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (18:34)

Of get the ick, and you don't. You don't really know why, because you do love the person. Like, I think this is a big deal. You have. Okay. People are gonna not. There's. There's loving somebody because you've known them for so long and they've been in your life and they're your family, and then there's being in. And I do think sometimes couples grow apart in terms of that in love spot. But you still love them as a person, and there's nothing, quote unquote, wrong. And so you sit there and you wonder, you're like, but why? Why do I feel this way? And so, like, as a woman, you think, well, maybe there's something wrong. Are my hormones off? But obviously her libido is there. She's saying she wants it. She wants it bad. She wants all the fun. She's. But she's fantasizing about other people, other things to get her going. So if that is the case, you. You really have to ask yourself, like, is it just that I. I still love this person and care about this person, but that in love, is that still there? Because sometimes it's not. And then you have to decide, like, can you work to get it back?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (19:41)

Yeah, I. I do kind of have an opinion that most people at some point grow apart and have to make a choice of, is this worth coming back, making the effort to stay together. Right. I don't know. I haven't met a lot of couples where I'm like, oh, they just easily and naturally are just like, in love, like, the first day. And in ways, I think you lose the emotion of, like, the. The. I don't know the word.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (20:15)

Like infatuation.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (20:16)

Exactly. Infatuation of falling in love. But you also feel this deep love because you've gone through experiences and seen this person in so many different lights. I really do think that something that should be normalized is talking about if it's hard because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings, and they might feel responsible. But just saying, I'm not feeling totally present sexually, and I'm not sure why, and I'd like us to see a sex therapist. And I know that that's something that a lot of people, and honestly, probably a lot of men would be uncomfortable with because it makes you feel, like, inadequate ego thing. But if you talk to people who work in that field, it is booming because it's something that everybody deals with. And a lot of people have very good success if they actually, like, put intention of getting that fire back.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (21:05)

Right. And it sounds like they had a very good sex life to start with. So. And look, you don't have to go. I would say you don't have to go right? To A sex therapist. But I think a conversation has to be had, even though it's awkward and uncomfortable. And by the way, like, if I was sitting there with. If this was my girlfriend, I was sitting there. This is how I would say it. I'd be like, okay, look, bring it up. Like, go out to dinner. Make. Have a date night. Right. Somebody watch the baby. Have a date night. Get dressed up, feel good. Go out to dinner. If you guys have. If you're. You know, if you like to enjoy a cocktail together or a glass of wine, do that. And bring it up. Bring it up. Maybe surface level to start. Like, oh, my gosh, babe, remember when we used to. Blah, blah, blah. Like. Cause she said they were sexually adventurous in the beginning. Yeah, bring it up. Oh, my God. Remember when we used to do that? That was fun. Should we try any of that again? Like, maybe we should try that again. Because then you're not telling the person, I need you to do A, B, and C. You're just reminding them that things used to be this way. And you. You like it. And you can see what his response is, right? Because then if his response is like, oh, you're still into that. Also, guys, sometimes, once you have their baby, they look at you a little different. Like, because now you're the mother of their child.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (22:22)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (22:22)

And they don't want to treat you like a dirty little.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (22:24)

Like a dirty little slut.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (22:26)

You're like, hey, but I am.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (22:27)

I'm still one. Same slut.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (22:30)

Same slot. How we got the first kid. I would say it doesn't sound like it's the right time for a second yet. Like, if that was my girlfriend saying that to me, I'd be like, you might want to hold on that second baby while you work through it. Because I do think sex and intimacy is such a huge part of a relationship.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (22:50)

Yes.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (22:51)

And if you can't find it, if you can't get back to it, then you have to decide, are you okay with it being this, this, and vanilla and you, you know, have your fantasies? Because then a lot of times that's where somebody will step outside because they're not getting that need met.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (23:09)

Yeah. I saw a movie recently. It was on one of the streaming services, and it was about this couple that basically, like, was gonna go get a divorce or whatever, but. And someone was giving the guy advice. I don't want to give any spoilers. I can't remember the name of the mutinies. But the guy was like, oh, no. You just have to remember, you know, you remember the things that you care about each other and always, always pretend you're with someone else. I was like, oh my God.

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Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (24:43)

Isn't it kind of. Well, my advice to this person before we just talk in generalizations is the conversation could go because I get you don't want to tell someone what to do. Like you want, you don't want them.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (25:00)

To be down there and be like a little to the left, a little to the right.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (25:02)

Or you don't want to be like, hey, like that, let's make love. By the way, I want you to tie my hands behind my back and scare me a little. You know what I mean?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (25:11)

Maybe.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (25:11)

But what you could say is like, like maybe if you can afford it and get away for a night, you go for like a romantic night and you're like, let's have a safe word like that says. Because what that says is because I want to scream and cry, but I don't want you to stop unless I use the same word. And so maybe that's what I would do. Like approach it that way. Like planning something fun. And then what I would say to, to her and to anyone else feeling that way. Go all in with your intentions. Like, don't think of the fear of, well, what if I don't feel it? What if I'm not? Just go have a wild time and see if you can connect. And maybe, and also maybe don't chase what you had, but just chase whatever excitement presents itself and see if that helps.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (26:04)

Yeah, I think that that is very good advice. Like don't always compare it. You got to get out of your head. Because if you go into it thinking, like, oh, God, I'm gonna hate this again, you're already focusing on all the things you're, like, that might not.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (26:16)

Right.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (26:17)

Be the same as they used to be. And so you're gonna, like, you're gonna get yourself in that headspace of not enjoying it already. Whereas, like, maybe if you take some time throughout the day, send some flirty texts, get the mood going, send a little photo, whatever. Looking forward to this, babe. Tell me what you like. Like, give him a remote, Get a.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (26:40)

Little control to your vibrating underpants or whatever.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (26:43)

So be it. Like, whatever you gotta do, have some fun. If that's your kink, get some toys out. Do it. But, like, having that little flirtatious and, like, remembering all the things that you love about them, that you're attracted to about them. Like, take some time throughout the day, like, leading up to it if you know that's what's gonna happen. And, like, think about that. Like, is it. Is it their body? Is it their arms? Is it their abs? Is it their smile? Is it the way they make you laugh? Like, what is it that turned you on originally?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (27:13)

Mm.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (27:14)

And got you going? Like, get in that headspace.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (27:17)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (27:18)

Instead of the. Like, it's not like it used to be.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (27:20)

Right.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (27:21)

It's not like it used to be. It's not like it used to be. But also, like, I would say the other thing is this. Like, maybe she's feeling the disconnect, because maybe he's feeling the disconnect, and he doesn't want to bring it up to her. Maybe because he might be thinking, like, I don't want to make her feel bad. She just had our baby. I. You know, I don't want to in, like. So he very well could be thinking the same things. So you can't be afraid to have the conversation. Yeah, I think that's important.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (27:46)

Especially she said they're like. This sounds so shallow, but she said that they're both in great shape and look good. So it's like the insecurities of. It's not like she's coming to him. Like, you've really let yourself go. It's just like, I want to connect, you know? I think that should be a conversation that no one should be offended.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (28:05)

I mean, don't bring up his size.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (28:07)

Yeah. Leave that.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (28:09)

If they can't fix it, leave it alone. So you married him knowing it was that size?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (28:15)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (28:16)

That's what you got to work with. But other than that.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (28:22)

Other than that. Go crazy. Yeah, I think. I don't know. I'm in unchartered territory when it comes to my sex life because I've never been in a relationship this long.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (28:35)

Okay.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (28:35)

And it. It is. I. Like, I haven't. I've just taken inventory of my own thoughts and feelings through this whole process because everything that feels uncomfortable sometimes it's like, we want. I don't mean sexually. I mean in a relationship, uncomfortable. Sometimes we. You might ask yourself, is this a red flag? But then for me, I've realized a lot of times this is just what being in a relationship is like. This is what comes with choosing to join your life at this level with someone to live with another person. That's fucking crazy. I am 40 years old and I have never done that shit before. Like, I've been. I had someone break up with me one time because. Well, I don't. It's sort of the out. The jury can decide who broke up with who.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (29:27)

Okay.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (29:28)

But one of the things he wasn't happy with when we broke up is because he was like, I just don't know when you would ever want to live together. And I thought to myself, neither do I.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (29:39)

Guess we're making the right call.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (29:40)

So I feel like it's normal probably to. To whatever excitement you feel in the beginning about someone for the excitement to change because that person is not the same person. Once you have seven, 10 years of relationship, seven of those being married, you start to do the norm. You start to have like, the bills and the this and the kid and the. And so it really might be that you're looking for an excitement that you have to find a new excitement with a partner you've been with this long.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (30:15)

Right.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (30:16)

Because it's never going to feel the same as when you have some wild night with someone you just met and you're like, wow.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (30:21)

Yeah.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (30:21)

He's like, you know, I think you.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (30:23)

Have to put more effort into it that, like, I was with somebody for a long time, but we always. And I will say it was like, we would always say, like, I can't believe after X amount of time, like, how does it keep getting better? Or like, how the hell do we just find something new? Like, oh. But we put. I think we both just put a lot of energy, not in a. Like, we had to work for it. Like, I just think it was important to both of us. And it was like, so it was always fun, it was always hot. Like. And it did keep getting better and better.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (30:55)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (30:55)

And that doesn't mean every Single time was like.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (30:58)

Right?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (30:59)

But in general it was a very healthy. It was very healthy.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (31:03)

But we talked about it robust tonight.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (31:11)

Oh man.

Weight Watchers Member / Advertiser (possibly Mike) (31:11)

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Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (31:16)

Just me and my vibrators.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (31:18)

Have you. Have you. Do you think that you've always had.

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Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (31:57)

Best cheesesteaks in town.

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Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (32:03)

They sure are.

Geico Advertiser (32:04)

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Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (32:13)

Not this onion I'm chopping.

Geico Advertiser (32:15)

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Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (32:17)

The onion.

Weight Watchers Member / Advertiser (possibly Mike) (32:18)

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Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (32:20)

And see how much you could save. It feels good to Geico. Like. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (32:27)

I was a senior. I was almost 17 and just throw me under the fucking pause. How old were you? Well, fair, because you were gay and you weren't out of the closet.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (32:37)

Yes.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (32:38)

Wait, did you lose your virginity to a girl or a guy?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (32:41)

A guy. But I. I have a question for you.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (32:45)

Okay.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (32:45)

Do you. What constitutes losing your virginity?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (32:49)

No, if you say losing your virginity, you're talking about the first time you actually had sex.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (32:53)

So oral sex does not count.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (32:56)

Not as losing your virginity.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (32:57)

I have always said oral sex is fancy kissing. That is not. That is not. I mean, if I kiss you on the cheek. Did I just. Your cheek? I don't think so. If I slip a little tongue in the ear. If we had intercourse. No oral sex, it's just fancy kissing. So I lost. With that consideration, I lost my virginity. I think I was 22 actually. But.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (33:24)

Well, you know what's really weird?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (33:25)

I fancy kissed years before that. Several times.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (33:28)

Okay. It is crazy to think and listen, I'm not a whore. I had been dating my boyfriend for like two years. We went on to date for several more years. Years through college, but it was my senior year. But I was. I turned 17 my senior year, Dom turns 17 tomorrow. And I can promise you my kid.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (33:50)

Has not had sex.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (33:52)

No, he has not fancy kissed, nothing. Like, I'm like 99.999. Sure.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (33:58)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (33:59)

That has not happened because he hasn't really had a girlfriend. Like, he had a girlfriend a couple years ago. Like a little girlfriend and they would kiss, but, like, that was it. Yeah, I don't think they were doing anything else.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (34:11)

Well, sometimes I feel like kids that age, I don't know. You can tell me. Because you went to school.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (34:15)

Yeah.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (34:16)

Have pressure to move forward sexually because their friends are. And their friends are like, have you done this? Have you, like, I don't know. That's what it's like in the movies.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (34:26)

I didn't feel pressured. Like, I didn't feel pressured because we were, like I said, we were together for a while, like over a year before it happened. And all of my girlfriends were sort of in like long term relationships. So I think we all kind of.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (34:43)

Did around the same time.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (34:45)

Not the same time necessarily, but like within a, like that year. So then, you know, you would say like, oh, guess. And then another one would be like, oh, my God, I did. And so then you had somebody to talk to about it. Just for the record, girls talk about it all the time. Like, just, just know we talk about it all the time. So. But yeah, it is weird though, to think like, Dom's at that age and. And I know he's not there, which makes me happy.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (35:22)

So did you feel that, like, afterwards? Did you feel any shame about it?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (35:28)

No, no, because again, like, we dated for so long. Like, we kept dating and then after high school, we sort of dated on and off throughout college. But no, like I said, because we were already like. Like I loved him. He was the first person I loved.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (35:46)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (35:47)

And it wasn't like a, oh, I've been dating him for a week.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (35:53)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (35:53)

Like, this is somebody I spent a year with.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (35:56)

And I mean, I come from the world where like, when I was a teenager and I would masturbate, I like, repented and was like, oh, God, I'm so sorry. I did it again.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (36:06)

I'm weak.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (36:08)

Literally, that's what it was like. And so when I would have just.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (36:13)

Spent my whole teenage years repenting.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (36:15)

Well, I live.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (36:16)

I've always had a healthy sex drive.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (36:18)

Yeah, well, yeah, but when you come to Jesus, you're supposed to die to the flesh. And I'm like, tell that to him.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (36:28)

Listen, I don't know who made that roll up, but Jesus didn't make that rule up because.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (36:32)

Because it don't make no sense.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (36:33)

Yeah. Because guess what? God created us. God gave us these parts that fit together and made it feel good.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (36:40)

Yeah. And by the way, the first time I ever came, it was on a fire pole. It was okay, because I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be too crass, but just to tell you guys, I can remember the moment like it was yesterday.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (36:56)

Don't do it right now.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (37:00)

I was my neighbor in this, you know, Ohio towns, like, all the houses and all the yards next to each other. His dad built him, like, this tree house that was. You had to climb up a ladder and you could come down.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (37:12)

Yeah.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (37:12)

And so they weren't home, but it was the neighborhood where we could all just play in each other's backyards. And so I was back there, and when a group of the kids were hanging out, they would climb up the fire pole. But I was a little bit too embarrassed to try in front of everyone, so I went over there by myself to try. Okay, well, so as I was climbing up, I was really using my lower body also to, like, try to squeeze. And all of a sudden, the friction was doing what it did. And I said. I was like, oh. Oh, my. I'm. I'm. I hope someone out there appreciates the story, because I was being totally honest. But when it happened, I was like. And I, like, ran home terrified.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (37:56)

Did you think you, like, peed yourself or something?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (37:59)

Yes, except for it felt good. I knew it wasn't the same consistency as urine. I was like, I don't know what's happening. And. And also, I just didn't say anything.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (38:10)

Right. Oh, okay.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (38:11)

I didn't go to my mom and ask about it.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (38:14)

Okay.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (38:15)

But I can't believe I'm saying this.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (38:18)

You and that bowl became good friends.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (38:20)

Every time I saw a poll like that. Like, I had another friend, Donald fell in love with a pole friend who had, like, a carport on four metal poles. I'd be climbing that carport pole. And then in the house that we grew up in, the top of, it had a long wooden banister, and I was like, that's just a pole. Land sideways. So I would lay on that banister and hump it.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (38:45)

Wait, and it was upstairs.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (38:47)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (38:47)

And you would lay on top of it. What if you fell?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (38:49)

It was kind of exciting to me. The danger.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (38:52)

Okay.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (38:53)

It's like I could fall to my day. Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (38:57)

Just to get off on this pole.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (38:59)

Literally.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (39:00)

Oh, wow. Did you not realize that your hand would do the same thing?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (39:03)

It Just, just felt like because of. I'm such an imaginary person, I could pretend anything in my head. But if I was at that time, if I was using my hand, I'm like, okay, well obviously it's my hands. Me. Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (39:18)

Okay.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (39:20)

For a long time I was just humping inanimate objects and I'd have to repent. Like, oh my God, I'm sorry, Lord. I did it again.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (39:29)

Oh my God.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (39:30)

So by the time when I, when I actually lost my virginity, I felt this, like, I think I was expecting this like huge failure thing to happen. And I felt ashamed. But also on some level, obviously it was like, okay, well this, it's the natural progression of life. You're in your freaking 20s, what do you expect? And I, and I. Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (39:57)

We're not trying to be the 40 year old virgin over here.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (39:59)

Exactly. That's why I'm passionate now about like healthy conversations around sex and sexuality and that, because it was, it was that part of me, which is a part of all of us, our sexual selves, felt like an enemy inside of me and I was always fighting it. And that's so toxic.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (40:20)

Yeah, I mean, obviously, like, it's not like sex was like talked about in my house or anything like that. You know, it was the 80s. Like, you know, talk about that stuff. But I just didn't have, you know, I was brought up Catholic, but I didn't have that same, same, like that same religious kind of pressure upbringing. And I am not like a, I'm not a sleep around girl. Like I have to be in a relationship. So I, it's not like I've had that many partners.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (40:43)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (40:44)

But I've always had a very healthy sex drive. So like, it's fun. It's supposed to be fun.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (40:48)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (40:49)

It's freaking literally supposed to be, supposed to be enjoying.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (40:51)

You didn't make the rules.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (40:52)

I didn't make the rules. I didn't, I didn't decide what feels good exactly. But, but here we are. And I do think like, I don't know, it's interesting. I feel like when you get into relationships, like, like you said, after a while it turns, it does turn into like, I, I hear women say it all the time of like. And now I get it. Our hormones change and it does make it a little harder. Like there were definitely times over the last couple years where like my libido would be lower. It's back, thank God. But. So I get it that, but there are like, where women just kind of like put it off to the side and like, it's not a big deal to them, so it can't be a big deal to their husband or to their partner or, you know. And I'm like, yeah, it has to. It still has to be a conversation. Especially like if your partner has a healthy sex drive and you're. For whatever reason, don't you gotta figure out, you gotta ha. You've gotta be willing to have the conversations. It can't be like you're embarrassed to talk to your significant other about it.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (41:53)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (41:55)

Because if one has this really healthy drive and the other one doesn't, how are you, how are you going to connect? How is the person going to feel satisfied, fulfilled, or again, even like, that's, that's part of the love and the intimacy. So if it's not there. Yeah, that's where you can start to grow apart. I mean, I've. I've definitely had friends over the years where it's been like, oh, yeah, no, I don't care. Like, I never give it to him. And I'm like, yeah, well, what do you think is gonna happen?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (42:28)

Right?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (42:29)

Or they'll be like, oh, God, he tried again last night. I'm like. And like, no. I'm like, oh, okay. Huh. This is, this, this is only gonna end one of two ways, Right. Neither is good.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (42:41)

But it's hard, I think, like just the woes of life. Because by the end, life be life in these days.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (42:49)

Yeah, it does.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (42:50)

And at the end of sometimes you're like, can a bitch just catch some Z's?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (42:56)

And put. That is another thing. Like, you can't wait for it to be the end of the day.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (43:00)

I agree. I'm a morning and afternoon delight delight kind of guy.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (43:04)

Morning is great because morning, you haven't woken up fully yet, so that the thoughts of the day have not fully consumed your brain. So you're just, you know, a nice little spooning action rollover. Oh, oh, okay. And then you wake up in the best mood.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (43:22)

Yeah, yeah. Take on the day.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (43:25)

But by the end of the day, after dinner or something. Oh, God, yeah. I'm not saying it's bad. I'm not saying no. But I'm just saying that's a lot harder than. Because like, oh, I gotta clean the house, I gotta clean the dishes. Or you just ate, you feel a little full. Like, oh, I just want to relax, turn my brain off. So, like, if you know that that isn't your time, that you're. I geared up so.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (43:46)

So. But I do feel for people. If you, like, have children younger Children. And so during the day it's like when is the. When if you're, you know, if, if you're husband or you have to go to work early, your kid comes home from school, you're making dinner for everybody. And then all of a sudden the end of the day and it's like, you know, it's important but you know.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (44:09)

Like, I mean, an office visit.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (44:11)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (44:12)

A little romp in the back seat of the car.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (44:15)

I should know. I think it's important for people to normal, normalize quickies. You don't have to take all day to get it in good time.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (44:23)

Yeah. Save that for the weekend when you got a little time or something.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (44:25)

Exactly.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (44:26)

But a little take the edge off.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (44:29)

Right? I have. That's the other thing that I'm like in my position because, because I've been single most of my adult life and you know, I've been a hoe here and there.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (44:40)

But here we are trading places again.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (44:44)

Here, here we go.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (44:45)

Here we go again.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (44:46)

But I. So if I felt horny, then I would just handle it myself. And I, I do feel like, okay, there's something to be said about.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (44:58)

It's never quite keeping your.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (45:00)

It's not. But that is still how I've more. If I take all the times I've sat. Been satisfied sexually in my life, I, I have satisfied myself more on a number of times. I'm not saying like excitement, but number of times than in a relationship. And I, I think there's. It's really good for relationships if you remind that person that also they're your little sex toy person. Yeah. Like. Like I know you're in the middle of that, but I'm really horny and need to fuck right now.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (45:31)

Yeah.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (45:32)

Like if you say that to someone, they're probably going to get a little bit. Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (45:35)

If they're your significant other, they're going to be like, wow, good to be desired like that.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (45:40)

Right?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (45:40)

Yes.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (45:41)

And so, but, but also, I don't know, maybe everyone's relationship, everyone tries this and all of a sudden they're like, did you not go.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (45:51)

They're like, I don't know what these two.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (45:53)

My partner called the police. Like, I don't know what's happening, but.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (46:00)

It'S like the Friends episode where Chandler ends up dating the girl after Joey dated her. And he was like, they're like, why haven't you had sex with her yet? And he's like, I know who her last boyfriend was. And they're like, that doesn't mean anything. He's like, we shared a wall. And he's like, how do I go from, like, getting her to agree with me to, dear God, what is he doing to her?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (46:24)

Yeah, right.

Grainger Advertiser (46:26)

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Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (47:56)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (47:57)

But sometimes, ladies, don't be afraid to initiate. Sometimes you gotta listen. Even when you're tired, you gotta put the outfit on, you gotta put the lingerie on. And usually once you get going, then you're, like, into it too, and you're happy you did. But if you sit in that mood of, like, I'm too tired. Yeah, Then you're just always too tired.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (48:20)

So. Also, I think it's okay if something does stimulate you, like, get you going. Like, for example, we're watching this show that is so huge right now. And by the way, I think it's number one. Fans are straight women.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (48:36)

Okay?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (48:36)

But it's called heated rivalry, and it's a gay love story between these two hockey players that play on different teams.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (48:42)

Okay?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (48:43)

It's on Max or whatever the HBO streaming platform is called these days. And I was watching it and I was like, oh, this is something that we could, like, watch to get. Because the Sex scenes are. So.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (49:00)

Are they, like, intense story? Yeah.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (49:01)

So it's not like, just like you. How you picture a porn video where it's like, hi, hi. Bad acting. And all of a sudden they're just everyone. Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (49:08)

Like, that doesn't.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (49:09)

But it's like you get. You get the excitement and the way that they look at each other and this. But it is very intense sex scenes, which HBO has that for all kinds of things.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (49:18)

So I guess I know what I'm watching tonight.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (49:20)

I feel like if something like that gets you and your partner in the mood, have an open mind about it or role play. Like, there's a difference between actually wanting to be with someone else and having fun playing with your partner as if you're other people. And I think it. Some people feel taboo because. Because the truth is, in the beginning, when you start sleeping with someone, there's still a lot you don't know about them. And part of the excitement is like the vulnerability that you're experiencing. But when you know someone through and through, maybe some of that excitement's a normal thing for it to be gone. And so you don't know how to bring up wanting that excitement, which could come by pretending that you just. Your car broke down outside and I.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (50:06)

Don'T know, I just ran into you at a bar.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (50:09)

Oh.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (50:09)

Oh.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (50:10)

I've never done this before. Maybe that's what you need to do. So I think the biggest thing is, like, how do you start those conversations? Because I think it could help.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (50:22)

Yeah. Like I said, I think you gotta not be afraid to just try the things, talk about things, surprise them with the things. I like to be the one to plan things sometimes. Like, I like to set, like, send a text, Meet me here. Time and hotel room number. What Your man is gonna be like, what the. Yeah, let him walk in, have the champagne or the wine in the lingerie. Okay, great. You can't afford the hotel room. I get it. Maybe ask somebody to take the kids. If the kids are there, light the candles, put the fun music on. Be naked waiting in the hot tub.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (51:00)

Exactly.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (51:00)

Just like the little things. Because guess what? That'll get you going too. It'll make you feel sexy, like you're.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (51:06)

Putting yourself out there.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (51:07)

Yeah. Like, oh, okay. And they're like. Then it brings the excitement, then you're anticipating their reaction. Their shock then adds to your. Like, oh, great. Like, yeah, we're. Are you a toys person? Just curious. I don't know. Am I asking you to talk about you humping a hole? I don't think we can get to.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (51:28)

I'm more of, like, a banister fireball.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (51:33)

I do like a pole.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (51:35)

I am. We don't use a lot of toys, but I feel like I could be, like. I think if I felt like something was missing, I would say, well, let's see if it's toys. Yeah, but we don't use a lot of.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (51:55)

I think that's people's first thought. Like, oh, like, let's get. You know, like, oh, if you're gonna do something different, it has to be toys. I don't think it's always a. Go to.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (52:06)

Mm.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (52:08)

Like, yeah, find a vibrator, whatever. Like, maybe. But, like, I wouldn't say that. There's a bunch of, like, oh, what's like, whips and things? Like, no, that's not my. Do you ever watch that. Did you ever watch that show where, like, the sex expert would come over to people's houses and she would, like, build them sex rooms?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (52:28)

No.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (52:28)

Oh, my God. I think. I don't know if it was on Netflix. Might have been Netflix. It was like, a real thing. Like, this woman would go over, and couples would say what they liked, what they were looking for, and she would build them, like, a whole.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (52:42)

Their little. Oh, wow, that's so cool.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (52:46)

Different. And, like, everything from like, some bondage stuff to just, like, more normal. Like, oh, we want a big tv. We like to play a movie while we did it. Because she would ask them, like, what do you guys like?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (53:00)

And that's what that space is for.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (53:01)

And that's what that space would be for.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (53:03)

I also think that there is something about that. That. Because, you know, if you not. I mean, obviously you can have sex anywhere that, you know, just try not to break the law or get caught. But. But I break the law, like, for part for your partner. If you guys have a space where it's like, oh, this is where we get our freak on, then maybe it's even more like. Because, you know, for some people, maybe their bedroom is literally where they just collapse into the bed and have no energy.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (53:36)

Yeah.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (53:36)

And so it's like, okay, well, maybe you need to create an energy room where you go and do the. Do the thing.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (53:43)

I do think that is another thing, is not getting stuck with it always being in the bedroom.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (53:48)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (53:48)

Don't be afraid to be making dinner and just an apron.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (53:51)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (53:53)

That's what. And by the way, quickie. Get it done.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (53:55)

Exactly.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (53:56)

Then you get to sit down and eat dinner. Enjoy your dinner, and then watch tv.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (53:59)

A great meal.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (54:00)

You get in Bed and you just cuddle. Cuz all the sex part's done the work that.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (54:05)

Yeah, yeah. Talk about, talk about a nice night in.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (54:12)

Literally.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (54:16)

Literally.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (54:17)

I love when you catch my. Under the funny jokes.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (54:21)

Yeah, I think it's important and I just think too of. No. I was talking to someone one time a. A female who was in a phase where she was really struggling with depression and so she was trying different medications with her doctor because it was bad. She needed medication to at least in the interim of figuring everything out and balancing and the medication she, she was on, one of the side effects wouldn't let her. Sorry. Have my.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (55:01)

By the way that together real seriously just all my.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (55:04)

Gasps I'm swear I'm healthy. That the. One of the side effects of the medication is she couldn't orgasm. And I was like, do you mean just with your partner or do you mean like can you get yourself off? She was like, no.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (55:27)

Oh my gosh.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (55:29)

So close. But no matter what, I can't make it happen. And I was like, call your doctor immediately. Hang up the phone and tell them you need a new medication. Because that is an important part of life. And I think, and I know that not everyone comes from the super conservative taboo sex world that I came like, meaning sex is taboo. Yeah, that I came from. But I still think a lot of women don't prioritize that part of it themselves enough. And girl, if you, if anything is keeping you from getting there, know that it's important enough for you to prioritize. Talking about figuring that out.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (56:04)

Yeah, for sure.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (56:08)

So I, I would, yeah, definitely, definitely.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (56:13)

I would be like this, this medicine ain't it.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (56:16)

And she, she did change it and it got better. So there you go. Yeah, it's like some people might just be like, well, at least I'm not feeling depressed. Even though I don't know how you could not feel depressed. And also that not be something except.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (56:31)

You don't have the desire for it, then it doesn't bother you. Like if, if already the desire isn't there. Like I can understand that because when like my hormones were off and my libido is down, I just was like, oh, whatever. But if your libido is there enough that you're trying and you can't get to the climax. Oh my God.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (56:51)

It's like talk about my own personal health.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (56:54)

Although that was mine for a while. Like, like, because while I had sex for the first time, like, like I said almost 17, I was, I was only able to get myself off until I was 24.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (57:10)

And then someone just knew what to do.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (57:12)

Or someone took the time.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (57:13)

Took the time.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (57:14)

Listen, men, if we got any guys listening, sometimes these guys don't be so damn selfish. Sometimes these guys are just like, bing, bang, boom, they got theirs, they're done. We are an oven. We need to heat up.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (57:30)

Huh?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (57:32)

It is not. Just do any things and we're done.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (57:36)

Huh.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (57:37)

So, like, you're gonna have to spend a minute.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (57:39)

Well, and also, I think that's another reason why it's important for women to feel empowered to talk about it. Because I do feel like. I mean, I don't know, because I'm not a straight guy, but I bet there's a lot of men out there who have no clue that they're. There are some subtle changes they could make that could make it a lot more enjoyable for their partner.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (57:56)

Yeah. Also. But ladies have to stop faking it.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (57:59)

Exactly. Stop that.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (58:01)

Yeah. It's like, okay, no, if he ain't doing it, let him know. And you let him know by being quiet. Yeah, Because. But. And I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm saying that because if all you keep doing is faking it, he thinks he's doing a great job.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (58:15)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (58:15)

And he's never going to change what he's doing because you're pretending that it's working. Yeah, yeah. No, I did. After that, I learned that lesson and I was like.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (58:26)

My friend always figure it out. My friend would say, little to the left as a joke. Like that she's not afraid to.

Weight Watchers Member / Advertiser (possibly Mike) (58:32)

Yeah.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (58:32)

And I was like, your left or mine? And she was like, that's been the problem the whole time. I'm like, see, you gotta be specific. Tell them exactly what you want. So I have a question for you that's a. Like, less about our. And honestly, I feel like we could dive into a lot more about this topic. But I wonder. Okay, if you. Let's say that Dominic came to you was interested in someone, and this probably wouldn't happen because kids don't. But was like, I think I wanna have sex. What would your advice be to him? Be like, what? Basically, because there's a lot of parents that are like, you know, our generation, our parents didn't really talk about it. Their parents, I don't think, definitely didn't talk about it. So.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (59:23)

Well, if Dominic had been dating somebody for a significant amount of time, like, that would be the first thing. I guess I would need to know and understand what the relationship was and how long he had been in that relationship. Because like I said, He's 17 tomorrow, so I'm not naive to think that, like, oh, he's at an age where, you know, it's not like, 14 or something, where I would be like, absolutely not. Like, that's a terrible plan. I would definitely be having the conversation of protection, responsibility.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (59:54)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (59:56)

We've had multiple conversations, literally, since I think. I think since he was probably, like, 10 or 11, we've had conversations about a girl, like. Like, you're the guy. Like, if she gives any indication that she doesn't want to. That she wants to stop, you're done. And by the way, you're done for the night. You need to be done and leave. Like, because it was during the height of the MeToo movement and everything.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (60:23)

Huh.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (60:24)

And, you know, he had questions, like, what's going on? And. And so we would talk about it. Like, we've always had a very open dialogue about everything, which I love about our relationship. But I did. You know, I've explained to him so many times, like, you need to be in a committed relationship. You need to understand. I hate saying this, but I'm gonna say it. There will be people that will look at where we live and what we have and that could want to try to have a baby with you just because. And not that we have, like. Like, you know, not like some of.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (61:00)

The people in this neighborhood, if some girl says, I'm on birth control, you still should use a condom.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (61:04)

Well, because of. Of STIs and all that. And, like. But all we've just. And also, like, if there's any indication that she's not into it. Yeah, you're done. Like, you know, like, we've had those. We just have had those conversations. So if he came to me, though, and, like, had been. Was with somebody for a while, and he was like, you know, Mom, I think this is the person I would be like, okay, yeah. You know, make sure that it's right for both of you. You guys should talk about that and make sure she's on the same page. You should absolutely use protection.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (61:43)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (61:44)

You know?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (61:45)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (61:46)

Like, what else can you say at 17? Like, that's. They're, you know, they're at the age where they're about to go to college. They're not gonna.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (61:52)

Right.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (61:52)

They're not gonna call you from college and ask you if they should. Can have sex. So you have to hope that you've said all the things ahead of time that they know.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (62:01)

You know, what's cool. I obviously didn't grow up that way. If I would have Said something like that, which I never would have to my parents. They would have. My mom especially would have just said, that's a sin. You have to wait till you're married. Like, all that. But the cool thing and a redeeming factor that I really appreciate is my mom since has, I guess I could say, apologized. Just saying, like, sort of how any parent probably has things they would do differently. Like, that she was doing. I know she was doing the best she could, but in hindsight, she can see and understand that that really is not. There's no data that shows, like, teaching abstinence and saving sex for marriage is effective just because some people out there might save sex for marriage. Most people end up having very reckless, unplanned, emotionally heightened sexual experiences because they lose control from what?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (63:00)

Right.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (63:00)

Because they're actually following their instincts. And so I'm really thankful that I. Because a lot of people came from the world I came from, and their parents still believe and double down on that type of teaching. And my mom's like, you know, the Bible doesn't even say to save sex for marriage. Like, what the. Where did we come up with that? That's such an unhealthy thing to teach? Because it's. It disconnects you from that part of yourself. So it's interesting. That's, again, just an opinion show. But I'm thankful that she has come back and seen that.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (63:31)

That I. I do think that that is really, really great that she's able to look at that and say, might not have been the best.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (63:39)

Right.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (63:39)

Advice. I, Like, I might piss some people off by saying this. I have, actually, Kent and I have both said this to Dom. Absolutely. Do not wait for marriage.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (63:50)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (63:51)

Because obviously we've talked about Dom and finding Christianity and he has struggled the last couple years. That's why I know he hasn't done anything because he's struggled so much. The last.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (63:59)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (64:00)

I mean, when. Well, I don't. It's because it's my kid. I don't want to say too much about it because, like, I don't want to put his business out there, but I just, like, he struggled with those feelings and. And that sort of thing.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (64:11)

Were they good or bad?

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (64:12)

Were they good? Were they bad? Is it a sin if I feel this way? Is it a sin if I take care of my right needs? And. But Kent and I have both said, like, oh, my God, no, you. You don't wait for marriage. Don't be a hoe. I'm like, you're not out there. Sleeping with everything. I was like, don't be like your dad. No, I'm kidding. But because it is again, it's such a big part of a relationship.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (64:40)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (64:42)

If you wait till marriage and then it's the honeymoon night and things don't go well, and then you have to work through all that. You don't know what you like. You don't know what you don't like.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (64:57)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (64:57)

You don't know what you're like. You don't know what you gotta fumble through it.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (65:02)

It's not even. It's like, not just your first. If you wait till marriage, it's not just your first time with that person. It's your first time with yourself in that scenario. And it just. I don't understand, like, for what, like, how much better would it be to have to have a mature understanding around it, mature talking points, conversations and all of that, and be able to move into that with your partner, Especially if.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (65:31)

You'Re going to get married so that, you know, like, you fumbled through it, you worked through it, you know, if you are compatible in that.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (65:38)

That way.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (65:39)

Way. Because if you're not compatible in that way.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (65:43)

Huh.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (65:45)

Then what?

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (65:45)

It matters.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (65:46)

It matters.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (65:47)

Yeah. And I do too. Like, if someone out there is like, well, I want to wait till marriage, then wait till marriage. Beautiful thing about, like, you should have the autonomy over your own body and sex life to make those decisions. But I. I am all for. And that's why I'm glad we had this topic today. Normalizing the conversation of people's, like, sexuality and needs and preferences and feelings and desires. Because it's something we all share that, like, nobody talks about.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (66:17)

Nobody.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (66:18)

It's so weird.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (66:19)

It again, I wonder. We were talking about this with. With the way we dress, whether or not it's like a cultural thing. Because I do think, again, like, in Europe and stuff, I think it's just.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (66:30)

A little bit more.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (66:31)

A little bit more open about it all.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (66:34)

Huh.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (66:35)

And I think we're a little bit more reserved.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (66:38)

Well, I talk about Puerto Rico. It also, it's like, I just use that as an example because I have gone. I just went for the second time in December. And they are a lot more like, it's not. And on the outside looking in, I used to think it would be perverted. It's not perverted at all. It's just healthy. Yeah, they're a lot more like fun and they, they, you know, might talk about sex in a much more comfortable way than what I'm used to joke about it. Exactly.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (67:08)

Let you in on it. I'm not saying that you have to be raunchy about it.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (67:11)

I was looking at Nell and when we were in Puerto Rico, because I bought him like, a piece of jewelry that he could hang from his pants and I hadn't given it to him yet, and he had a different one on. So I was like looking kind of comparing, but I didn't realize I was staring. And his mom and aunt were laughing and talking, and they said that his cousin translated because they. His mom and aunt mostly speak Spanish and said, donald's looking at that like that's mine. Like, looking at his. Him like that. And I was so embarrassed. But I also loved it that it was like, not a thing.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (67:44)

Right.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (67:45)

But my family would not make a joke like that. No, not maybe my immediate family now, but like my. My mom and aunts and people, I don't feel like they would. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm not giving them credit, but my aunts might.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (68:03)

I wouldn't joke like that with my dad, but that's just weird. My aunts might.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (68:08)

Yeah.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (68:09)

Yeah.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (68:10)

So I love it. I appreciated it.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (68:12)

I. I appreciate that we've had the conversation. I appreciate the phone. A friend that we got, like, I think that, that because we had said, like, oh, let's have this talk anyways, and you know, back, like just to wrap. Tie it back to her, like, I hope she has the conversation in some manner with her husband that can kind of get them on their path again.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (68:34)

Bouncing. Wow. Wow.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (68:35)

A little bound brown chicken bow.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (68:37)

Yeah. And we would love to hear more phone and friends. And you guys, don't worry, they don't only have to be about your sex life. They can be about your work life. They could be about your friend.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (68:48)

But if you want to tell us some crazy stories, we're here for.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (68:50)

We love to hear it. You can email us@everythingsperfectpodcast gmail.com find us on social media.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (68:57)

Everything's perfect. Official on Instagram. And we will see you guys next week when Donald will have officially abandoned me.

Host 2 (likely male, possibly named Donald) (69:08)

See you guys.

Host 1 (likely female, possibly named Sharia) (69:08)

Bye.

Grainger Advertiser (69:14)

Crying.