What is it like to race 21 days across France wearing little more than underwear, going over 50 miles an hour, burning 8,000 calories a day, in the shadow of the ever-present threat of a violent peloton crash? Brent Bookwalter did it four times, including the 2011 race that Cadel Evans won — one of the great team performances in the sport's history. He did it clean, in arguably the dirtiest era cycling has ever seen. Now retired after a 16-year career and working as a commentator and a mental performance coach, he joins us for a conversation that moves from the fascinating details of being a pro cyclist — the salaries, the eating, the four-hour hurt box, the 30ish hours on the bike a week— to the deeper questions of why anyone does it at all. He talks about overcoming a fractured tibia in the beginning of his career, the mental skills that got him through — breaking a 200-kilometer stage down to one kilometer at a time — and how he's navigating the hardest transition of his life — from an existence where every minute was optimized and accounted for, to figuring out who he is without the bike. One of the more honest conversations we've had about what excellence actually costs, and what it gives back.

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