Expanded Podcast Ep. 347

Why Your Dream Life Requires Letting Go – The Process with Ziza
Release Date: March 21, 2025
Host: Jessica Gill
Guest: Ziza

Episode Overview

This episode features Jessica Gill in conversation with Ziza, who shares her profound manifestation journey—moving from deep-rooted self-doubt, inherited survival tendencies, and decades-old dreams to living her most authentic life in Italy. Together, they offer an honest look at the psychological and energetic patterns that shape us, what happens when we finally choose ourselves, and why real manifestation often requires letting go, trust, and surrender. Ziza’s story is a testament to neural manifestation in practice—moving through family history, self-worth work, career tests, and the magic dark to embodiment and expansion.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Roots and Childhood: Navigating Identity and Survival Instincts

[08:50–14:28]

• Ziza’s background: She comes from immigrant parents—her father’s Ukrainian family survived WWII and her mother’s side is Sicilian/Irish, each bringing themes of survival, displacement, and searching for belonging.
• Parental influence: Raised by artistic, bohemian parents in San Francisco, Ziza felt a sense of both freedom and rootlessness, leading her to search externally for stability and belonging.
• Theme of parentification:
  • Ziza describes how, as a sensitive child, she learned to take emotional responsibility for her parents (“I felt like I needed to be in control...the parentification eventually drilled into me the idea that nobody was going to take care of you but you. And more than that, I wasn't worthy of anybody choosing to prioritize me.” — Ziza, 14:08).
• Impact: This nurturing role left her distrustful of her own needs and desires, shaping adult struggles around self-worth and receptivity.

2. Internalization and Adulthood: Subconscious Patterns

[14:28–19:06]

• Hypervigilance: Ziza learned to read the emotional climate and soothe others, often at her own expense.
• Worthiness: Despite being loved, she internalized the idea that only she could meet her needs and thus didn’t trust she could be cared for by others.
• Resonance with listeners: Jessica expands on how these subtle, accumulated experiences (rather than overt trauma) create deep-seated beliefs around visibility and worth:
  • “It doesn't always have to be that one moment...it's all these little micro layers that can kind of stack upon each other.” — Jessica [16:56]

3. Discovering TBM and the Start of the Manifestation Journey

[19:07–21:47]

• Rock bottom as catalyst: After a move back from Italy to LA and an unexpected job loss (entire editorial staff laid off), Ziza seeks tools for self-understanding and support.
• First steps: She finds TBM after resonating with concepts discussed by Lacy Phillips and dives into the workshops, beginning with “Money,” then expanding to Shadow and Inner Child. She connects deeply with the somatic and self-analytical aspects of the method.

4. The Manifestation Process: From Dream to Reality

[21:48–29:33]

• Italy as a lifelong dream: For years, Ziza longed to move to Italy but was blocked by doubts about deserving such fulfillment.
• Career bridge manifestation:
  • After four gruelling years of job hunting—including many false starts and rejections—Ziza finally lands a job that values her creativity and where she quickly advances. However, the dream of Italy persists.
  • Despite fear, she chooses to honor her deepest call, prepares to resign when the opportunity to move presents itself—and is met with “unprecedented” support from her company, which lets her work remotely (“I just went from thinking I was going to have to resign to...they're keeping me on full time through the end of the year.” — Ziza [26:46])
• Magic dark and the bridge:
  • “The beauty of the bridges and the leaps and the magic dark is you realize you're not alone in that dark and you're held and there's a much bigger energy at play pushing you along and helping you blossom.” — Ziza, 29:33

5. Navigating the Unknown: Surrender, Tests & Trust

[29:33–34:24]

• Letting go of scarcity thoughts: At the end of her work contract, Ziza consciously decided not to default to fear or unworthiness narratives and instead chose trust.

• Surprise synchronicity: She returns from a digital break to find a job opportunity waiting for her via DM—a role becomes unexpectedly available after her initial application was too late. This reinforces the importance of trust, letting life “surprise you,” and holding inner faith even when results seem delayed or missed.

  • "I'm not going to be penalized because I wasn't on social media 24/7. ... Instead of just trusting that I am worth the right things finding me." — Ziza [31:11–32:14]

6. How to Move from Rejection and Scarcity to Expansion

[37:15–41:32]

• Facing the pain:
  • "The tendency to want to believe the negative is so easy and it's so tempting. But the real work... I had to be like, there's something happening here. And I'm going to choose to believe this is happening for me instead of to me and let myself grow." — Ziza [37:15]
• Deidentifying from outcomes: Ziza shares that practicing “failing,” facing worst-case fears (using DIs like “deserving” and “worst case scenario”) reduces their charge.
• Reinforcement: Trust and integrity in relationships and situations eventually bring back the energy you invest, and the internal fortitude formed during the “in between” makes you ready for opportunities when they arise.

7. The Inner Work versus External Results

[42:30–47:14]

• Rewiring: The daily practice and neural reprogramming help shift actions from fear-based to aligned.

• Jessica on self-relationship:

  • “That part of you that is wired for safety, you're not going to get rid of that part. That part's not going to go away. ... It's how do you relate to them?” [43:04]

• Materialization follows inner alignment: Both discuss that the manifested thing (home, move, job) is secondary to the inner transformation—the true reward is coming home to self.

• Notable quote:

  • “TBM is the tool and you are the work.” — Ziza [~05:49 & 52:57]

8. Parenting, Self-Prioritization and Generational Healing

[55:09–60:52]

• Balancing connection: Ziza shares her approach to self-care as a parent, recognizing her child as a mirror for her own triggers and learning not to parent from her own wounds.

  • “The best thing I can do for him is to be aware of what I'm putting on him and to be aware of what I'm trying to gain from him because I'm somehow lacking in myself.”

• On generational cycles: She reflects on drawing energetic boundaries, honoring her ancestors’ journeys, and choosing not to carry forward old patterns.

  • "I honor you and I love who you are and the story that is yours to live. And now this is my turn, like drawing those energetic boundaries." — Ziza [47:30]

9. Living the Dream & The Practice of Stillness

[61:04–63:54]

• Arrival as a new beginning: Having realized her dream by moving to Italy, Ziza recognizes that fulfillment brings a new quality—presence, rather than striving.
  • “I've done it, I've done it, and now what? I'm excited to see that, like, oh, that's only the beginning for me of what life could look like and what could come. And just to enjoy being present, truly not having something else to attain or to work towards, but just enjoying the sweetness of life.” — Ziza [61:34]
• Integration: Both Ziza and Jessica discuss how enjoying and integrating a manifestation (the dream home, the dream life) is as important as attaining it.
  • “Now is all we have. ... This right here is where we are, and that's where the magic and the juice and the love is.” — Ziza [63:54]

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “I wasn't worthy of anybody choosing to prioritize me. ... If I can always stay one step ahead and not give anyone the chance to let me down, then I'll never be let down and I'll be safe.” — Ziza [14:08]
• “There really is a freedom in trusting how your own story will play out. ... There's a much bigger energy at play helping you blossom.” — Ziza [00:00, repeated at 61:47]
• “The beauty of the bridges and the leaps and the magic dark is you realize you're not alone in that dark and you're held.” — Ziza [29:33]
• “TBM is the tool and you are the work. ... I'm gonna even say you are the work of art.” — Jessica [05:49], echoed by Ziza [52:57]
• “If you're only doing it to, like, try and control and be like, oh, maybe if I just do this and this and this, then I'll get the thing—but you’re missing the whole inner riches that understanding and awareness can lead to.” — Ziza [46:52]
• “The actions you take from that place [inner critic] are going to be frantic. ... Or are you going to say, ‘I see you, it makes sense...but I'm going to try something different’?” — Jessica [42:30]
• “Being present and still. The stillness piece, especially as it feels like the world is harder and harder to keep up with—it will only become more and more important.” — Ziza [62:55]

Practices and Tools Mentioned

• Daily Deep Imaginings (DIs): Ziza prefers somatic DIs first thing in the morning (Clear Aura, Embodied, Feel Your Feelings, Sleep).
• Reinforcing new beliefs: Especially in moments of transition or when facing rejection (“deserving” and “worst case scenario” DIs).
• Checking the inner critic: As part of establishing boundaries with old narratives.
• Journaling, walks in nature, tea rituals: Non-negotiable grounding techniques.

For Listeners in the Magic Dark

The conversation closes with reassurance for listeners in the “magic dark”—the in-between, uncertain space before a manifestation lands. Ziza’s journey proves that what’s destined takes its time, but the real “expansion” is internal. Trust in your own process, do the inner work, and allow life to surprise you. The culmination is not just “getting there,” but savoring “here.”

Notable Segment Timestamps

• 08:50 – Ziza’s family background and early influences
• 14:08 – Discussion of worthiness, parentification, and self-protection
• 19:07 – Discovering To Be Magnetic™ and beginning the work
• 23:37 – The four-year journey of tests before landing the pivotal job
• 26:46 – Leap of faith and unprecedented company support for relocation
• 31:11 – Choosing new thoughts and trusting the process during uncertainty
• 37:15 – Facing repeated rejection, moving through the “magic dark”
• 41:32 – Facing worst-case fears, balancing inner work with manifestation
• 52:57 – Ziza’s current practice and use of TBM tools
• 55:09 – Parenting while prioritizing self-awareness and healing cycles
• 61:04 – On being present, not striving, and the gift of stillness

Final Takeaway

This episode is a nuanced, heartfelt exploration of what it really means to manifest your dream life—not by controlling every outcome, but by surrendering, doing the inner work, and learning to receive. Ziza’s story of manifesting her move to Italy is deeply relatable for anyone caught between longing and actualization, and offers concrete proof that when you let go, trust, and continually return to yourself, life meets you halfway—and sometimes, in the most magical ways.