← EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
Ep. 374 - The Energetics of Surrender: Ego, Envy, and Following Joy
00:57:41
How would it feel if you decided—just for a moment—to let the universe hold you and guide you? Do you feel peace and release? Or anxiety and panic? If it’s the latter, you’re likely struggling with fear of letting go, being hyper-focused on outcomes, or needing to ground into safety. This episode is here to remind you that surrender may be your medicine. In this round table discussion, Lacy, Jessica, and Janelle dive deep into one of the hardest but most transformative parts of manifestation: surrender. They unpack what surrender really means—beyond the vague “just let go”—and how it shows up in our bodies, our relationships, and our manifestation process. From identifying ego attachments and timelines, to navigating envy and resentment, to following joy pings as a portal to alignment, this episode is both expansive and grounding. If you’ve ever wondered how to release control, this conversation will change how you see surrender forever. It’s not about giving up. It’s about ope...
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- [00:00]
Jessica
Surrender is really the acceptance of the.
- [00:03]
Janelle
What is surrender isn't quitting. It's actually like a physical embodiment.
- [00:09]
Lacy
If you have unblocked enough, expanded enough and taken enough aligned action, you are in surrender. Your next thing is to just let go.
- [00:20]
Host
I'm sure you've heard that surrendering is an important part of the manifestation process, but what does it actually mean and how do we do it? This is one of the most requested questions from the TBM community on how to truly surrender and how to navigate a situation. When you are being asked to surrender, whether that's an outcome, a timeline, an expectation, even surrendering an older version of self or a dream or how you think something was supposed to go so you can truly be present with what is on the table in front of you. This episode is diving into all of that with Laci and Janelle. It is giving you your protocol. I'm going to share some dis at the end. I get that question a lot. So how do we surrender? I also want to remind everyone that we have our how to Manifest book on pre sale right now. If you get it under the pre sale order or you buy a ticket to our how to Manifest book tour, we're doing New York, Austin and la. You get a free copy of the book and it's under pre order and you can get our pre order PDF which is a nice reflection ritual, the perfect anchoring, especially as we're in between seasons and moving into this fall season or spring season depending upon your hemisphere to really reflect of where you're at now, what lessons you've learned, how to integrate and if you are not a Pathway member yet, you get an exclusive pre order book discount code only for 25% off the pathway membership. It is only for people who are not members yet. But if you purchase a book before the book drops on October 21st as pre order or you buy a ticket to the how to Manifest book tour, you can access both the discount and the pre order PDF. We'll have the link in the show notes of how to access and if you haven't gotten your speaking tour ticket yet, come join us. I'm so excited to connect in all of these cities. There's something so palpable that really sets you off into a whole new paradigm. After being immersed and in person with so many expanders, community learning from Lacey and I on stage and just getting to have that intention setting as a community. If you guys can't make it, stay tuned. We're going to try to do some other Virtual meetups. But for those of you who can get in person, I highly recommend it. I know it definitely super speeds my manifestation process when I'm in person with the community and just sharing about where we're at in this crazy process. Okay, today is going to be a really powerful one. I'm sure one you're going to come back to many, many times over. I feel like I'm in a constant state of cycling out of into my.
- [03:09]
Jessica
Next level, into my up level, and.
- [03:12]
Host
Then into the next challenge and then into the next surrender. And it is just a normal part of this process. It's a normal part of life. And learning to even bolster our trust, muscle with surrender, with our relationship to attachment, with our relationship to gripping and stepping into our full deservingness, knowing that what we want will not miss us. Okay, let's dive in. And now a word from our partners. So we have a two year old mini labradoodle at home named Theo. He's the best. And over the years he became a bit of a picky eater. He would eat anything when he was a puppy.
- [03:53]
Jessica
But as he got a little bit.
- [03:54]
Host
Older, he started to kind of poo poo some of his food. And we really had to trial and.
- [04:00]
Jessica
Error different types of food to see.
- [04:01]
Host
What would get him to eat consistently.
- [04:03]
Jessica
Which is also hard because we want.
- [04:05]
Host
To make sure to give him the cleanest, most human grade, sustainable, non synthetic food out there. And when I stumbled upon Sundays for dogs, I'm telling you, it was like the perfect dog food to come in.
- [04:20]
Jessica
At the perfect time.
- [04:21]
Host
Not only is Theo obsessed with it and gets so excited to eat it.
- [04:25]
Jessica
Every single time we put it in.
- [04:26]
Host
His bowl, but it is human grade, all natural meats and superfood, 0% synthetic, no artificial ingredients, and has been so good for his health and digestion. There's no thawing or refrigeration.
- [04:42]
Jessica
It is all an air drying process.
- [04:44]
Host
So you can just pour and serve. And the best thing is they're on subscription. So no running out to the pet store every couple days or every couple weeks to get new food. You just get it delivered directly to.
- [04:56]
Jessica
Your door and you can pause your.
- [04:57]
Host
Subscription anytime if you need. You can get 40% off your first order of Sundays by going to sundaysfordogs.com TBM or use code TBM/CAPS at checkout. Again, that's TBM/CAPS at checkout for 40%.
- [05:13]
Jessica
Off your first order of sundaes.
- [05:15]
Host
Enjoy. And now onto the episode. Welcome back everyone to another episode of.
- [05:25]
Jessica
Expanded round Table with Lacy and Janelle. I feel like it's been a minute, guys, welcome.
- [05:31]
Lacy
Since the money challenge.
- [05:33]
Janelle
Oh, yeah. Glad to be back here.
- [05:35]
Jessica
So good.
- [05:36]
Lacy
I feel the same.
- [05:37]
Jessica
So today we're diving into surrender. I know this is a theme that a lot of community members have been asking us about. It kind of feels like the theme. I mean, as we're recording this, we're in between that eclipse season. But I think any time of transition, there's that edge of surrender, there's that.
- [05:54]
Host
Releasing of control, and just how do we navigate it?
- [05:58]
Jessica
You know, I remember hearing old school manifestation back in the day. They're like, okay, once you do this, this, and this, just surrender. And I was like, what? That's your advice? Like, how the freak do I do that? Like, what does that even mean? So let's break it down of, like, really the deep energetics of surrender. And then, Lacy, you had some new channelings coming through for the community of just, like, what might be in their way too.
- [06:22]
Host
So let's get into it.
- [06:24]
Lacy
I'm excited.
- [06:25]
Jessica
So surrender, this energetic of releasing. It was funny. I went back in. I was.
- [06:30]
Host
I was like, okay, let me get.
- [06:31]
Jessica
My Elise Lunan hat on and look at the etymology of the word. I want to know, like, what this means. And so it comes from an old French word, surrender, which literally means to give back, to yield, to return to. And it was so fascinating. Also, looking at some of the cultural implications of surrender. Like, so many religious beliefs are like, surrender means giving up to God, giving up to the universe, giving up to source, whatever their deity is. And then even in Taoism, it's not necessarily giving up to a deity, but giving up the illusion of control, the illusion of having ego attachments and relinquishing the ego. And I think I knew this, but it clicked in a new way this morning when I was thinking about it, how surrender is really that fortification process of releasing a new layer of ego. That's what that edge is. Can you release this ego attachment that's not from your soul, that's chasing, that's trying to control, that wants it to be in a certain way and really be with what is. Because that is in itself the lesson. How do you guys see surrender?
- [07:37]
Host
How do you work with it, understand it?
- [07:40]
Jessica
All of the things I'm first, very.
- [07:42]
Lacy
Curious from a therapeutic standpoint. Chanel.
- [07:46]
Janelle
Yeah, I. My initial thought is, like, surrender isn't quitting. Like, when I think of surrender, it's actually like a physical embodiment. It's the energetics.
- [07:57]
Jessica
Right.
- [07:57]
Janelle
Of going from like gripping or controlling or being hyper attached to having something to be a certain way to. I love that what you said. It's like giving it back, right? Where it's such a personal, physical body, emotional release of attachment from an unblocking perspective. It's like I'm only going to be happy if it's this certain way, if it's this certain guy, if it's this certain house, if it's this certain job. And that's just not true. And so it's going back and to say, okay, my higher power knows more than me. So even though I really want it this way, and I can only see myself being happy or content or whatever it is with this specific thing, I'm going to sit back and hand it all over and trust that there's more that I don't know. So it goes back to really like sourcing the peace from internally instead of trying to manage the external.
- [08:55]
Lacy
It is so true. You know, I've had these moments actually. Our care was shifting, right? And I don't work if I don't have have care. And it's something that I'm always like trying to control. And then this moment showed up where it really was a combination of all of those things where I was like, you know what universe? I'm sick of worrying about this and it's not my shit to worry about anymore. So it's really like, are you guiding me into letting go of all of that and being a full time mom? Because whatever is happening here, I'm over stressing about that. And that was that ultimate form like of just oh, what a. Like you're saying it was a nervous system exhale of like, yeah, I'm over it. There's something here. You're telling me that I need to learn or we need to learn. But beyond that, from a manifestation, energetic. Especially what you had sort of talked about in the beginning, Jessica, where they're like, and then let go surrender. The real energetic beneath that is expensive, expanded enough, unblocked enough and taking enough aligned action. So even if somebody's hearing us talk about surrender and that could be towards anything, it could be timelines, it can be what it looks like. It can be the trigger coming up right now. You know, it could be any of these things if you're somebody who has to grip for control, which again, I want to hear more about Tennell, especially children who are parentified young. There's so many things I think that play into us over controllers. Me being the biggest type A person in the world for us hearing this, who are like, yeah, but I know I can do more. If you have unblocked enough, expanded enough, and taken enough aligned action, you are in surrender. Your next thing is to just let go. I've heard so many things. There was a point with the company with TP Magnetic, very early on, you might have just been starting Jessica maybe even before you. But I had the psychic I would work with. And she was like, let go to let grow. And I've heard so many of those through the years that are those kinds of sayings and rhymes where it's like the more you let go, the more magic that can appear in the place. But there is a fine line between doing and not doing. So it's like if you really have preliminarily done what's needed, you really can just let go to allow the magic to happen. And in theory, you could be in pure surrender all the time and then you'd be in pure consciousness and your life would be fully divine. And that would be awesome too. But some people like need a job and whatever, you know, so there's a couple of really cool places to go with this. First and foremost, I think Janelle, you should definitely outline to us what are the key things that play into during childhood to the over grippers, over controllers.
- [11:42]
Janelle
You know, I just don't think there's a person that doesn't have trauma, right? So when you think of everyone's individual stories, when some sort of trauma, whether it's a single incident or chronic, it's something happened to us that was out of our control. And then when that happens in a chronic way, our natural response is to control something. Like if a client came in and they were really dysregulated and they were like gripping and panicked and highly anxious and needing to control on a big picture, I'm like, okay, those are just trauma symptoms manifesting in a really chronic way. And what's really hard for that type of nervous system is we need to slowly help them to slow down. And what happens when there's a slowdown is there's usually a lot of grief underneath there. And so it's a process of. As trauma work is happening, there is this grief and this letdown and eventually they're nervous system then settles and then we're kind of out of like that fight or flight brain into more a regulated part of our brain. Like if you think of there's a cute children's book on nervous systems, but she called it the Watchdog Brain versus the Wise Owl brain. So if we're in our watchdog brain, we are gripping, we are controlling, we are managing, we are stressed out. And so when we do trauma work, not on just an intellectual level, but on a physical level, we can dip and actually access our wise owl brain. And in our wise owl brain, we can more naturally access surrender. So I guess my point is if somebody's just gripping like, I have to surrender, I have to surrender. It's like, hold up. There's a whole process to get to of delayering and typically some tears. To be able to downregulate, to get into the wise owl brain, to be able to kind of naturally surrender. Arriving to, I want to now surrender. I don't want to hold this anymore. I'm going to give it back.
- [13:41]
Lacy
I guess where my mind's going with all of it really quickly because I'm like, okay, let's just hack this. Which is so controlling. But I'm like, let's come up with in real time. It's like for the person who's like, I'm not over controlling or am I? Or what does that look like? Let's first look at, I mean, you've mentioned a lot of them, Janelle, but let's first look at what does it look like when we are gripping and over for controlling, even from small spaces, and where we would benefit from surrender versus like you were talking about giving up or being lazy or not putting in the effort, not putting in the work. I mean, it's just such a big conversation, right? Because pure consciousness is living in devotion to full surrender and detachment from anything versus living in a world. You know, it's just, it's so big. But let's just start with what does it look like in manifestation when we are dog paddling, gripping over controlling, that kind of stuff.
- [14:37]
Jessica
I would even like to share the thought patterns or the concepts that pop in people's minds. So if you're saying to yourself, I'm unblocking, I'm taking a line action, I'm, you know, expanding. Where is my manifestation?
- [14:52]
Host
It's not coming fast enough.
- [14:53]
Jessica
If you are saying I've been doing all the right things, you know, where is this thing? It's taking too long. Anything with time, like the time is taking too long. Where is this thing? It's taking too long. I thought I'd be beyond this by now. This is so frustrating, all of those things. And then I also see the sneaky way I see it come in is when people will tell me, yeah, I'm totally surrendered to it, I'm just not settling. But then their habits and behaviors show otherwise. So they'll say that and a part of them that is true. But then when, for example, a friend was telling me who's manifesting partner and she's been really working on that aligned partner for a long time, you know, when she got the invite to go to a wedding and she had a plus one and she had to say no because the partner wasn't there, there was that grief and disappointment. And there was a small part of her, I think that may have thought.
- [15:46]
Host
Oh, why not yet.
- [15:48]
Jessica
Where is that person? And being able to sit with and alchemize the real grief that's there that they're not around yet and I would.
- [15:56]
Lacy
Argue have not dipped into if they're still having this experience, I think that's something worth highlighting. It's like, you know, people are like, I've unblocked enough, I've done it. But it's like. But have you felt all of your feelings? Have you. Actually there was a piece of me, like when my manifestations weren't coming through where I had to just fully own. And I don't think many people can go there. And it's like a true ego death. I think if you haven't had like the big thing you're calling in has not shown up and it continues to not show up. And the shit thing over and over and continues to show up. Like a big ego death needs to happen. And I remember so for example, God, was it in acting or modeling or something where I just had to be like, I'm just not what they're looking for. It wasn't a them or whatever. But it. There had to be an ego death enough like a facing meaning just like really feeling the grief and the feelings, not just pity for myself or, or fuck that I'm better than not that. Like I had to feel it all to create space for what is now my career, which was far better. Like I. If I even think about 16 hour days on set with two children, you know, and, and like adrenal issue. Are you kidding me? Like, this is so divinely my path. So yeah, I didn't mean to segue, but you know, has that person Jessica like really gotten truly honest with themselves? You just kind of have to address and feel it all the way, not skim over it. I'm this, this and this. So I'm a great catcher. I don't know what their thing is, but I'm just saying like. And maybe we can talk about that and name that more of what that thing is where you just are letting your ego die in it. And this is the big form of surrender where it's like, I can't protect myself here anymore. You know, I'm just gonna need to go there.
- [17:55]
Jessica
I'm curious too, Lacey. Even in your dynamic with it, it's like not listening to the redirection, whereas it not aligning where they needed to book you specifically for the role was less about like they weren't looking for you, and more the universe is like, this door is shut up. Get that? This door is shut. You would make a fantastic actress, and this isn't your path. You know, it's like accepting that piece.
- [18:22]
Lacy
Here it is, here it is. And I wonder if this is the same about the person you're talking about. It was. Stop chasing the ego. That's what it came down to. And yeah, if I'm really feeling into what it was, it was like, you're just chasing a lot of stuff that isn't truly authentic to your needs and wants. Ultimately, I knew I wanted to be a public figure. I wanted to do well financially and I wanted to express myself creatively, but I was doing it in the only portal I saw possible. So if this were putting it towards relationship or whatever, is this person chasing the wrong ideal of something? Something, you know, like, is that where the deep surrender is? Where it's like God, universe, spirit? I think this is the thing I want. And I keep chasing this, but it's not working out. Can I just let this die and let all the vision of what it is crumble in order to, like, purest form of surrender be in that? Really let it go in order to allow the space for what the really amazing thing is to come through.
- [19:33]
Jessica
It's that ego attachment. I think it's both the external and the internal ego, external. Where are you looking for validation? This is almost where you're. The resentment piece comes in, like, where you're resentful to all those external things for putting you in the position or not seeing this or people not seeing value or whatever it is. It's like that's the external communication. But that external always goes back to an internal root of worthiness or whatever it is. Like, it's just that, that peace inside where it's like, oh, I just need.
- [20:09]
Host
To believe in my own value.
- [20:11]
Jessica
I just need to know I have the tools, the resources, the capabilities, the worthiness to go seek out my needs in any variety of ways. It doesn't have to be this One way, like, I thought I had to almost prove myself in this way to this career, and then I would get everything I want. And in fact, I just had to know I had the ability to do it myself. And then every other portal in which that could come through can kind of come through.
- [20:37]
Host
Does that make sense?
- [20:39]
Lacy
It does. But then, like, the universe keeps telling me where I can't, like, listen to other stuff. So do you remember. Okay, I. Maybe I wonder if you were around during you were here. I know you were around to. In this period. But remember Amanda, who used to coach? She was. We know. We all know Amanda really well, who used to coach. And she was. So her big thing was manifesting a partner. It was so big for her. And she was in New York. And even though New York, she was, like, going to visit her mom a lot, it was in a much more remote place in Oregon. And she kept feeling this thing of, like, New York's not my place, you know, just not my place. So I guess the thing that, like, the universe key. And she. I remember, like, in my kitchen here with one of our, you know, lunch or dinner event, she was like, what do you think it is? And I was like, your person's not in New York. When you leave New York, you're gonna find your person. And it wasn't specific to her. It was New York was blocking her person because she wasn't authentically listening to the pings to leave New York. You know what I mean? So. And then, bam, she moves to Portland, she finds her person. So it's like, I guess in this form of surrender, if the big thing hasn't come or that thing, it's like, what are all of these attachments that are egoic, that are actually in the way, you know, like, where you can really give those to God, to the universe, that if you have unblocked enough, you have expanded enough. And I do think we should have a little conversation about that, because some people can be like, how do I know if I've unblocked, blocked enough and expanded enough, right? But yeah, if that. If this is becoming a little bit of a conversation of, like, the thing isn't here yet. There is that. Like, where can I look? It's kind of like when we're. We're clearing space, right? But it's in such a bigger, profound way because it's these attachments we have to identity, you know, so it's like your friend who's looking for the partner, what ways is she attached? An identity of egoic. It's back to that, you know, what we had on the speaking tour, like the archetypal people, you know, it's like, is there some grasping that isn't truthful to her? What's the ego there? That's like defining her that isn't her is not really her, you know? So I think if that makes more sense, that's the bigger conversation there. I mean, have you two had examples of that? I mean, I know you definitely have, Jessica, because of the podcasting producing world. You were like, when I just like started the podcast, it was telling me to do, you know, it's like, bam, all the doors opened and took a pay cut and blah, blah, blah. But it all opened and led to more. So much more. Similarly, Janelle, I can remember, like, pivotal points. You both and I have gone through these experiences to only up level so much greater than what we could have even pictured in that small little box.
- [23:36]
Janelle
Yeah, it's so funny. I drive by, there was an office that I was holding onto for months that I wanted, and there's also a house nearby that I at one point was like, really holding on to that and both didn't work out. And I was so gripping, attached, and like, like, universe, do you not like me because you're not giving me. I mean, I was like, you know, like, very much. Like, I'm shameful. Like, what am I when I'm blocking enough? And now I drive by both of those places and I'm like, thank God. Thank God that those didn't work out for so many different reasons. I can also think of different partners that I wanted, you know, that I was like, oh, he's so cool. And this and this and this. And I'm like, oh, my God, thank God that those didn't work out. So, so. And I'm sure everyone listening has those stories of something or someone and you're, you know, be your own expander to look back and be like, thank God that didn't work out. And so even though I'm so attached to whatever the thing is right now, maybe there's more to the story that I don't know and have that kind of built a little comfort, right? To be able to release.
- [24:49]
Lacy
That's the manifestation version of surrender. Like the true surrender.
- [24:54]
Jessica
Yeah.
- [24:54]
Lacy
Like, where can I die in this experience? I'd be so humbled to have a new version of myself beyond. And this actually does bring up to that really good that. So the universe has been communicating to me. I was voice noting both of you earlier. There's this, this Frequency. See, it's been telling me about. And I don't know where this is going to fit into teachings one day, but very specifically, the two energetics of resentment and anger. And when they're like a venomously, whether consciously or unconsciously, think of yourself. If you're like a Reddit threader or a podcast reviewer or whatever, I think of those, right? And usually it's somebody who's still in that place where they're so envious and so, so angry that they don't have the thing. Because it's one thing to turn your envy into an expansion, right? We know that. We've been teaching that for years. But it's when you have the very specific combination of the deep envy, but then the deep anger that goes with it. Like, the thing represents all the things that have, you know, screwed you over in life, right? Specifically those two energies together driven. It's crazy. When the universe told me about this, I started to watch. Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh. Anyone I've ever known that's had these towards me and I know of their life has stunted. They just stunt where they're at, their income and dreams of it just stunts. And I went, oh, this is something we really have to teach and talk about. Because when you're in that place that we're talking about, right? You're like, the thing hasn't come through through. Instead of that, that moment of like, okay, I'm gonna really go there and surrender and, and basically alchemize myself. A. A turning point of this, to go deeper can be into those two frequencies of envy and resentment. Especially like I think of projectors, right? Like when you're. You're not self. The deeper you get into it, the more bitter you become. Just recognize yourself. If you are in this space right now where you're like, the big thing hasn't come, or the timeline's not matching up, or, you know, whatever the trigger is getting me. And I've done what I can. Recognizing you're in this, like, very fertile place, that your thing is close and it's orbiting you very closely and you need. If you've unblocked and expanded enough, it's. It's orbiting you closely and you just face it. You face like, what am I so attached to here? And is it even authentic to me? What are the pieces that really are authentic here? You know, if we think of your friend, for instance, calling in that. That partnership, what parts is she calling in that are actually authentic to her, not to what she should have wants to Be whatever, all the other things like where can we just let the ego die? And also recognizing that you are at a turning point, that you could go down a road of real resentment and which is envy and anger. And don't, because that's. It is like an energetic that just can really stunt your momentum and where you're at. So, yeah, as we decode this a little bit more, I just think that's worth talking about.
- [28:30]
Host
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- [30:01]
Jessica
I mean, it's so huge too. And I, I've even seen it with people where it doesn't turn outward necessarily, but it turns inward. They might have that envy and anger towards a situation, a dynamic, their trauma, their family, whatever it is. And because they can't solve it, because they can't get. And usually if you can get to the direct root of like the origin story of it within the family, and you can't solve that problem in the family, you can't solve that issue, then it's like, okay, I'm just going to have all of this intense energy inside of me. I'm not going to project it on anyone. But like, I don't know how to move forward with this. Like, I've seen that happen with people too, too, where it's a deep uncoupling of that anger, of stepping into that healthy anger of boundary setting. I need to take my power back. Like, I can't just keep getting hit in the wind from all these things anymore. Like, I actually have to do some things that are going to be uncomfortable here. And I think for people who, like you were saying, Lacy, who like, project out that envy and anger towards others, you have such a ripe possibility to take your power back anytime that you're saying, like the finger of blame. It's this person, it's that person, it's this. It's that you're giving your power away. You're saying, like, they have control over me. My mood is dictated by them. It's okay to not like something. It's different to give your whole emotional landscape over to someone else. The universe is reminding you through a harsh lesson, take your power back. Like, it doesn't need to look like this, it doesn't need to feel like this. How can you decide, okay, that doesn't align for me. I'm not going to do this. Or I need a boundary here. Or I need to see my own value. How can you start to process that stuff?
- [31:52]
Janelle
Yeah, at its core, expression. I mean, resentment that's unprocessed eventually will turn into hate. Right? And then, and then you see, yeah, you see all these different kind of strands of like victims pieces pop up too. Like you're saying you give your power, you know, it's opportunity to take your power back. One thought I did have about the, the mvp. So the jealousy, all of that kind of stuff is if that is like really festering on a conscious level, somebody may be. Might be like, well, I give myself permission to have what they have. But I, I'd want to pause and be like, are you really, Are you really giving yourself permission to have X? Because if it's like festering, not just like an off moment, but like a true festering, there's something there that you're not giving yourself permission to have or do or be. This is a really, really weird example, but when I was married and I felt so trapped in this abusive marriage. Right. This sounds really messed up. I was so jealous of people getting divorces.
- [33:02]
Jessica
So jealous.
- [33:03]
Janelle
I watched people get divorces.
- [33:04]
Lacy
I'm like.
- [33:05]
Janelle
And I'd have all these judgments and.
- [33:08]
Lacy
All, yes, yes, that's what it looks like.
- [33:10]
Janelle
I'd be like, whatever. And they just whatever. And I had so much judgment. And it was such a deeply humbling ego death of like, wow, all those years. Once I finally put that together, I was like, man, my bad. So, you know, or I'm thinking of, let's say I'm just use this example. Let's say you really want to be, I don't know, like a fashion influencer, but you are judging the shit out of every single. Oh, she doesn't have great style. And you're not. This and this and this and this. It's like, oh, I can't believe that she has that many followers because this and this, it's like, hold up. What's really happening there is, are you giving yourself permission to do that? And if you really sit with it, most likely no, because you have your own judgments that you unblocking that you have to do to face, to be able to even step in, to even have that opportunity.
- [34:11]
Lacy
And would you say too, Janelle? Because I do think there is this like wild surrender tie in when you were in that marriage and you know, you were having this envy, like this literal envy and anger at these people getting free from each other. Like. And you. And I see it. I see. I know, I totally know. And what was the surrender piece in all of that?
- [34:37]
Janelle
I could get emotional, but it was about my. My son. It was like ultimately I was like, would I be a bad mom if I. I'm gonna go cry. Would I be a. If I were to do that?
- [34:49]
Lacy
And that's what you're talking about. That feeling you're still face. You know what I mean? Like, that you had to pro. That's what we're all talking about in this surrender episode.
- [34:59]
Janelle
And it took my magical unicorn of a therapist at the time, who's now retired to be able to really walk me through that and help me release and just say, my son's in God's hands and I have to do what's right and I will continue to show up. But, like, ultimately I have to surrender his process and his future and all of those things. And you know, it's gotten radically easier, but there's still that as a parent, right, where I'm having to surrender him and his story. But it was. But you know, I look back now and I'm like, my God, I was in the most massive, like literally like 13 year rut in that marriage, truly. And I was literally getting sick because I was not able to surrender. And that was the pivotal moment of my life. I'm sure I've shared this before about reading Gabor Mate's book, when the body says no and being like, well, I'm gonna probably die if I don't leave, and my son needs a mom, and so I have to surrender this. And I truly look back, and it's been probably 10 years now. And I can honestly say the best decade of my life has been in the last 10 years, truly, in every single way. Even though I've had different hardships and things come. Like, it's just like this weight that. Like that I will. Like, I'm never gonna pick that back up.
- [36:25]
Lacy
Yeah. Oh, this is the. This is the conversation. So, you know, when we're all sitting here in this thing, that's it's out of our control. Right? Like, the timeline, the trigger, the whatever. I just feel. Feel like we're onto something here of what are the true symptoms coming up from it and where does the surrender, which is ultimately the death of the old you that has to happen to make space for the new you. I think that's what we're really talking about in this episode.
- [36:59]
Jessica
Yeah. I have a summary thought coming in.
- [37:02]
Lacy
Thank you. Finally. Can you just ground us down?
- [37:07]
Jessica
So identify that a lack of surrender is at play. Is there a timeline that you are attaching to? Is there an outcome you're attaching to? Is there an envy, resentment, anger, jealousy that you're attaching to? Those are all signposts that there's not full surrender yet. Then wait.
- [37:27]
Lacy
And I have to add to that. Is there the envy jealous thing? But on the flip side of that, is there what I see? Like, myself and people I know do. No, it's fine. Whatever. Who cares? It's going to come in a cup. Like, is there the brushing it off? Brushing it off? Like the easing over?
- [37:42]
Janelle
Yeah. Which is ultimately denial.
- [37:44]
Jessica
Right?
- [37:44]
Lacy
It's.
- [37:46]
Janelle
They're telling themselves that they're. But they really are. They're still dripping even though they're not acting. Right?
- [37:51]
Lacy
So at that step, there's the two sides of each coin to look at.
- [37:55]
Jessica
And you'll know it's the denial piece, because you'll say the thing, but your body is still scared about it. Your body is still dysregulated about it. When you think about it not coming, there's like a drop in the stomach, a little bit of a panic. You're like, wait, oh, my God. Okay, yeah, yeah, Just pretend. It's almost like the think positive mentality you're trying to gloss over. The. Your body will tell you somatically. It knows whether or not you've released it or not. And if your body is still tensing up or feeling any sort of anything but peace, you haven't surrender to it. And then accept wherever you are at, you have to say, this is where I'm at. If I'm pursuing this career path and I'm getting door close after door close after door close, is this the right career path? If I'm in this marriage and I'm envious of all these people getting divorced and I'm terrified to take this action, this is where I'm at. It's not working. It's just not working. I have to accept it's not working and it's not going to get better. The more I think about it, the more I get envious of all these people. Like, I have to accept this is where I'm at. Or if you're waiting for that manifestation that's just taking such a long time and you're like, my life would be so much better if it just landed. Why does everyone else get theirs and all the things.
- [39:13]
Host
That's just not my story.
- [39:14]
Jessica
I think about this. So many of my friends from college and high school and everything got married, had kids, are on their second kids, and I'm, you know, in my mid-30s and we're still in the midst of wedding planning, not really planning on having kids just yet, not ready for it. And I just had so many moments where I'm just like, it's just not my story to have it yet. It's just going to be an older chapter for me. That's just going to be my story. I just need to accept that instead of being like, oh no, am I behind what's happening? It should have happened in this timeline. I never thought it was going to take this long. I just need to accept this is the chapter I'm in and having that acceptance. And then from there it's like, okay, peel back the ego stories, the attachments. This is where worst case scenario di is going to come in handy. This is where those somatic practices to like really just continuing surrender is really the acceptance of the what is continuing. To just remind yourself, but we're here. We're not in the future. We're not in this delusion. We're not in this hope that we thought we were going to have. How can we just accept here? And when you really, really get clear and you move through the emotions and you sit through all of that and I'm unblocking, that's when the almost like creative solution, it feels like it unlocks like it feels like something in your nervous system just pulls out of you. Almost like if you guys have done like energetic clearings, I've had someone like pull cords out from under me and they like pull cords out from my shoulder and I'm like, whoa. Like my shoulder feels completely, completely different. It's almost like that feeling when you know you surrendered. It's just like that tension is now gone and it creates this huge opening where your manifestation can come through. The next better thing that you didn't even know you needed or wanted can come through. All this space just opened up and that's when it's like it can tunnel in and fill it. And there's usually some jumping off cliffs at some point with that detachment piece.
- [41:14]
Lacy
Yeah, if you've been in that cycle for a while, there's gonna be some jumping off cliffs for sure.
- [41:20]
Janelle
Yeah, it's a skill too. Like it's, it's not a one time thing and it's, it's a skill that just like anything, you can get good at it, right? You can get, it can get easier, it can get better. I wanna, I'm like, be your own expander to like when, when have you surrendered and when did it work out? Maybe make a, a list.
- [41:50]
Host
You've heard us talk about our pathway membership, but what actually is it? It is an all access membership where you can get every single workshop that we've ever created. All of our deep imaginings, which are our reprogramming audios to help you manifest. You can access it on the desktop or in the TBM app on your phone directly. We of course have our found workshops such as our how to Manifest workshop, which takes you step by step through this neural manifestation process to actually unblock, expand and take align action to connect with your manifestations. Our how to Be Magnetic workshop, our Inner Child and shadow workshops. And then of course we have a workshop. If you are in a rut, if you're in a rock bottom, if you're an up level, perhaps you need to set boundaries. Maybe you want to focus specifically on the block of money or love.
- [42:36]
Jessica
It is all in there.
- [42:37]
Host
And then twice a year, as a community, we gather for our challenges. Our challenges are one of the most effective parts of the process because you get accountability.
- [42:44]
Jessica
It is really a handheld experience in.
- [42:47]
Host
How to work through whatever the theme of that year's challenge is. And now to my absolute favorite part of our membership, which I think in.
- [42:55]
Jessica
And of itself would be worth the.
- [42:56]
Host
Entire weight of the membership if we.
- [42:58]
Jessica
Just had this alone.
- [42:59]
Host
Our Deep Imagining Library. This Library encompasses over 60 neural reprogramming audio tracks, their self hypnosis track that will really support you in any step of this journey. If you're needing calming nervous system regulation, unblocking with a specific test or trigger, going through a difficult time processing a big emotion, or maybe you just want reinforcing how to reinforce those neural pathways of confidence, abundance, self worth, deservingness and connection with your dream life. And not only that, if you go to the app we just launched Deep Imagining Playlist where we're grouping different themes of DIS together. So no matter what you're going through.
- [43:37]
Jessica
You have something for you.
- [43:39]
Host
And we're constantly dropping new playlists as well as brand new Deep Imaginings. And if you need more support in your process, you can go to our brand new video series Channelings with Lacy, where she touches on the exact energetics that are going on right now in manifestation and how it may apply to your life. So obviously I am a huge fan of this membership. The peace of mind I get from being able to have all the tools.
- [44:01]
Jessica
I need at my disposal.
- [44:02]
Host
No matter where I'm at with my life, if shit's hitting the fan, if I'm feeling dysregulated, if I'm needing to come back to my center, if needing to brainstorm or daydream or connect with what my vision for my future is, every single tool is in there to support me. And don't just take my word for it. We have thousands of testimonials of people who have had incredible success stories with these tools. So take the guesswork out of your manifestation process and get real tools that are going to give you real results. For podcast listeners only, you can use code expanded all caps exist for 20% off your first month of the pathway. Join now and have your best year yet.
- [44:55]
Jessica
I think also the last piece, Lacy, you had mentioned was how important it is for people to follow through with the radical pings right now.
- [45:03]
Lacy
Yes, yes. And I wonder if that plays into this. It feels like it would play into this.
- [45:09]
Jessica
That's like that jumping off the cliff piece almost totally.
- [45:12]
Lacy
And it's not. It was so clearly like not a jumping off the cliff, it's following the radical ping. So yeah, the universe just in the last since the leading right up to that eclipse, full moon and coming off of it. I don't have any Virgo or Pisces in my chart. So I was like real chill during this one. But the universe kept saying like it's communicating well what it's really communicating, if I'm honest, is that it was communicating like, the stripping has not stopped for 2025. You can go back. We have an episode on stripping. We also have inside of the Pathway membership. My channeling of the year, like, that hasn't eased and hasn't stopped. And in fact, it's going to really ramp up through the next year. And so that doesn't have to mean in a bad way, because all of the stripping, even abruptly that's happened to me in this past year, has been so divine. It's been having to surrender, sure. But, like, so much more magic has been showing up in place. So it's like the universe is kind of speeding this up for us, this surrender stripping thing. And truly, the more we grip, it just delays the magic of it, really. But so through this, the universe is like, the stripping's gonna continue and it's so loving. It's not the way it's communicating. This isn't like, leave the job, leave the relationship. Maybe that's part of it if it feels loving. So the energy, it's saying, is like, lovingly follow that big joy ping that you're being communicated. Just really want to be clear, like, the way that it's saying it, along with that whole resentment thing that it's been channeling and coming through. If you're getting a massive joy peeing, follow that right now. And I don't know where that's going to lead. We always know that pings lead to either a manifestation or expansion on the other end, and that expansion can be a great pivot. Maybe that's going to be like that surrendering of this identity that you're clinging on to, or this thing you're clinging on to. But that's a really big channeling coming through. So, yeah, just in the next, like, week or two weeks, as you're sort of feeling like any big joy pings are coming to you. If you have the means or figure out the means or whatever, it might be totally free, but follow that right now.
- [47:23]
Jessica
I so feel this. I. This is my YouTube. This is launching the YouTube.
- [47:27]
Lacy
This is it. It's time.
- [47:28]
Jessica
It's time.
- [47:31]
Lacy
Whatever that's going to lead to.
- [47:32]
Jessica
And this is a huge thing to surrender. I talk about it on a recent podcast we recorded, but there was the ego death of, like, oh, it has to look a certain way or be a certain way or do a certain thing. And then I felt like, like, YouTube.
- [47:45]
Lacy
Might make money or no. You know, all that.
- [47:47]
Jessica
Yes. Like, oh, I should do subset, because this and you know, all, all the things. And I got this like really strong ping that was like, this has nothing to do with anything. What's going to happen external you doing this and creating this is for you to evolve. That's it. That is the sole reason that this is happening and that you're getting this ping. Like this is for you to be able to show up for you in a different way to prepare you for other things. Don't give a shit about anything that happens with it. Like this is just for you to put the steps in motion to like get, get the trust muscle. And I was like, okay, cool. And then this past weekend I was just like editing, doing the whole thing and I'm like, all right, this is good enough. Episode one coming out tomorrow. Like great.
- [48:33]
Lacy
Yeah. That's how Substack felt for me too. I was like, I just need a creative outlet that has nothing to do with anything but whatever I'm inspired by in this direct moment. So I think it's. And I think as women like that Kundalini channel, like it has to to be in. There has to be somewhere in our life that, that. And I say this with somebody who's stacked with kids and schedules and stuff. Like there has to be somewhere in my life where that Kundalini channel is just coming through and flowing with no expectation, nothing. The only thing it has on it is every Thursday. Other than that, it's just a flow of whatever. So yeah, I think it's so like women in general, we are a creative conduit. That's exactly what we are. We're a vessel of creativity. Like we all need that version in our life that's free flowing.
- [49:26]
Jessica
There is something too with the surrender of following those joy pings where if you can make space for that, there is such confidence and self worth that develops and actually falling through on them because they feel like these big leaps to randomly book a trip to Europe feels like what? Like how I could do that. Like that's, you know, all these things are going on. How are we going to get there? All but just even the act of doing that is saying like I so prioritize my needs. I'm so in tune with what the divine is guiding me to. I'm gonna follow through on that. It's like a huge boost of magnetism that comes because your self worth is sees you doing and following the things that you are divinely guided to. So I just that feeling, even once I completed the edit, I was like, whoa. I feel really confident in a lot of other places of my life now. And like, that doesn't. I was like, how does this translate? And it was like, oh, because I followed through. I actually did the thing that I was afraid to do and I did it. And I'm like, oh, that wasn't so bad. Okay, cool. Like.
- [50:32]
Host
Like, what else is there?
- [50:34]
Lacy
Amazing.
- [50:35]
Janelle
Yeah, I've got my own version of it too in the last. Mine is a little more dorky than yours. There was like three different trainings, like, that are all so cool, and they're with, like, different friends and different things. I'm like, well, this is a little excessive, actually. There's four. There's four different ones over the next, like four months. And I literally booked them on the last couple weeks.
- [50:57]
Lacy
Amazing. I was like.
- [50:59]
Janelle
So I'm like, oh, you know what? This, like, really the excitement of it. I love the joy ping. I'm like, that's really cute because it's different than a ping. But I'm like, oh, all these are resourcing me in different ways. Like, it's not whether I need it or not, whatever. Like, I'm gonna go hang out with friends. I'm gonna get to study and geek out on topics I love. Like, yeah, it fills my cup up. This is great, you know, Amazing.
- [51:20]
Lacy
That's it. That's that, like, pure, like, channel is so beautiful to feed.
- [51:26]
Janelle
Yeah, for sure.
- [51:27]
Jessica
We have a surrender deep imagining playlist in the app. So if you guys are looking for di's to lean on to go through during this cycle. I know, especially if you're someone who's like, waited a long time for a certain manifestation. It might be chapters of continued surrender. You can surrender and then other good things come in and then you have to surrender some more. Like, it is an evolving, ever moving, energetic. And just know that every time you lean into it, you surrender a bit more. Something always opens up, something unlocks. It's really quite crazy. Actually, Lacy, I was going to ask you one more thing before we wrap. I noticed this very distinct energy where. And maybe this is just the moment the neural pathways shift, but with habits that I've been trying to shift, like small things like not checking slack in the morning or whatever, it would be like really almost felt like hard. Like I had to put on a lot of effort to move the habit. And then at a certain point, something just clicked and I never looked back. And now I'm not checking in the morning at all. And I'm like, what do we call it? Or what is it when you just have that like, oh, I'm. I had this, like, full body. Oh, I'm done with that.
- [52:45]
Lacy
Yeah, I have that, like, I get to a point where I'm like, oh, yeah, that's just done for me. But I feel like this is such a bigger topic, you know, and what plays into that, I wonder? And we also, I think, are. Are all people who are able to easily shift things, you know, Like, I don't think that we're. Any of us are really addicts, you know, so we don't have, like, those addictive tendencies. So I think it's a lot easier probably for us to like, after so many tries, bam, It's. It's a thing, you know, Whereas I think of, like, my mom and habit changing and stuff, and. Yeah, I think that's a bigger topic. I don't know the answer.
- [53:22]
Jessica
I think I just want to play the seed of, like, there. There's like a name for that shift. There's a name for that. Like, oh, it's done.
- [53:30]
Lacy
I had already done with Instagram and stuff. I had that recently where I was like. Like, I just deleted off my phone. I go on once a week, you know, to like, if there's something to promote or something. Yeah, it's interesting, that thing where there's. There's a really fascinating alignment taking place too, with, I think the people who karmically signed up early to be on the precipice, you know, like your soul signed up to be on the precipice of this great shift that's happening, you know, that we keep hearing about through the new paradigm, through the Aquarian age, all this stuff. And I think 20 is going to season us even greater than 2025 did. But it's. And I think we talked about this in our last episode a little bit, that the sooner we can actually learn how to surrender the things that aren't serving us that we feel we have to be attached to, because that's what society says. The quicker we're going to ascend, being able to find function in this new paradigm, I think that's something, like, really important to talk about with people who do come to this podcast as a guide in their life, the more that we really can survey where we're in the Matrix a little bit and see how it resonates with us. Like, at some point, Instagram was feelings. It was feeling like everything is. Is a trigger warning or a people initially were sharing on there in such beauty. You know, for me, I was like, wow, this really takes me out of the Beauty of life really takes me out of it. And so I was like, wow, this is pretty matrixy in here. And I've been surveying that in a lot of places in my life, and I wonder if you guys are starting that process. And I just think the more we can all more quickly listen to those new habits that are being requested of us to get clear in our life about the things that actually really matter. The less stripping that's gonna be happening in our life, the more alignment that's gonna happen a little bit more quickly and that we're all gonna be able to function a lot more easily in this new paradigm.
- [55:38]
Jessica
It definitely feels like when. When people are making the decision to change that habit or they're showing up differently, they're doing the opposite as the medicine. It can happen so much faster.
- [55:49]
Janelle
Yeah.
- [55:49]
Lacy
And there it is, a new neural pathway situation, making that different choice each time each. It is a new neural pathway.
- [55:57]
Host
So cool.
- [55:58]
Jessica
Okay, guys, good luck surrendering. You got this. It's a beautiful. It's honestly a beautiful, beautiful portal. It is challenging, but like the alchemy on the other side, I just want to hold that sensation for you. Feels unbelievable. So lots to look forward to and.
- [56:16]
Lacy
See everybody or who can make it and who's in proximity to the book tour. It's going to be really exciting.
- [56:22]
Jessica
Cannot wait. All right, bye, guys.
- [56:24]
Lacy
Thank you. Bye.
- [56:32]
Host
So if you are looking for a little deep imagining support on the Surrender front, I would highly recommend checking out our Surrender playlist in our deep imagining library. If you go into the app, it's on the second tab and it's down at the bottom. We can actually link it in the top carousel for this episode so it's easy to find. Or you could type in Surrender in the search and it'll give you the list of all the DI's in there as well. Just getting the ping to share, I want you guys to know if you are in that period where you're being asked to surrender to what is to accept the situation at hand. Just know that you are so held, you are so guided. You are walking alongside the universe. You have support around you, with you, even if you physically can't see it, it is there. And just know that you can get through this, you can move through this, and there's going to be a lot of light on the other side sending you lots of love.