← EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
Ep. 375 - Libby DeLana on Why Age is Just a Number and How to Manifest Joy Over 50
01:05:11
What if everything goes right? What if we looked to the future with excitement and joy? In this ultra-expansive conversation, Libby DeLana invites us into her wildly magnetic life shaped by daily walking, attention, and playing at the edges. Wise expander and author of This Morning Walk and Cold Joy, Libby has modeled for iconic brands, manifested deeply aligned relationships, and continues to manifest beyond her wildest dreams—even in her 60s. Together, Jessica and Libby explore moving beyond identity loops, aging as expansion, and finding magic and tenderness in the present. Libby reminds us to follow joy, stay curious, and embrace new experiences with grounded regulation—whether through cold plunges or setting down our rigid, limiting beliefs. This conversation offers gentle permission to step toward what feels alive, one small step at a time. Find the complete show notes here -> https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast
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- [00:00]
A
I'm 63. I am more myself than I ever have been. How did that happen? I think it comes from alignment with honestly who I am and with the universe. The way that we define ourselves can be changed. Aging is really about living.
- [00:20]
B
No matter where you are at in life right now. What if you could communicate with your future self and they could tell you how good life is about to get? Today's episode we have Libby Delaney. She's one of our Wise Process members who has gone on to manifest one of her most magnetic seasons in life after 50. You've heard Libby's Process a few years back. We'll link it in the show notes. But now she's coming on talking about a whole new passion and love that she's manifested in this season with Cold, Cold Water. Natural, Natural waters manifesting writing her second book, Cold Joy, which is out soon. And really how incredible life can get when you just allow yourself to dream bigger, when you don't put limiters on yourself, when you really allow yourself to see the joy and the beauty that is around you. And what are the practices that Libby is leaning on to reconnect with her true authentic self at this stage season in life. It's going to be an incredible episode. Huge expander. Huge expander of mine in so many ways. I think you guys are going to get a lot out of this one. And a couple of fun announcements in the world of TBM before we jump in. So we have the New York venue locked for the New York leg of our how to Manifest Speaking tour coming this fall with Lacy and I. It's going to be at the Great hall at Cooper Union on East 7th Street. You can check all the details on our website and landing page. But I know a lot of you guys were asking where's the venue so we can figure out hotels, how to make a fun weekend retreat out of it. I know we have a lot of people flying in, driving in. A lot of people obviously in New York too. I'm going to share some of my favorite wrecks around New York, so stay tuned for that. We are sold out in VIP tickets for New York, but we still have early bird, which is $50 off. So make sure you snag those discounted tickets before it goes up to the full rate. And then we still have tickets for Austin LA. I think we have a couple of VIP in both of those as well, but like under 10. So if you're thinking of getting VIP, get them. And when you buy a ticket to the tour, you automatically get a free how to Manifest book. And with the how to Manifest book, if you pre order before the 21st or if you buy a book ticket you get a free reflection ritual. And if you are not a Pathway member yet, with that pre order bonus you also get 25% off the pathway. That is for pre pre orders of books for non members only. I'm so excited to connect with you guys on tour. I mean this is, this is where truly the magic happens. I have so many messages from people from Tor two years ago of how that's where they met their accountability buddy, their new best friend, their business partner. That's where they finally realized what they were settling in in life and they're ready to change and shift for more. If you are someone that struggles with finding expanders or even expansion moments that like allow you to see, to believe so much more is if you can get in person in New York or Austin or la, I highly recommend it. It is some of the most potent and magnetic times and for anyone that can't make it, stay tuned. We're going to try to figure out something for you guys as well. But if you can get in person, I would love to see you guys and we are just so excited to go on this next few month journey. We are now in October, three months left of 2025, which is so much time, so much potential and I can't wait to walk through the next few seasons with you all. Okay, here's the episode and now a word from our partners. You've heard me talk about armor Colostrum for years now and that's because it continues to be one of my absolute go tos for supporting my immunity, gut health and hair and skin. Colostrum is the first nutrition all mammals receive at birth. Nature's original superfood, it contains everything our bodies need to thrive. Armor Colostrum is a premium physician founded concentrate that preserves over 400 bioactive nutrients in their purest form. Think protective antibodies, prebiotics, antioxidants, peptides and growth factors. It's basically the body's original source code for repair and regeneration. It fortifies your gut wall, helps with bloating and digestion, strengthens your immune barriers in the gut, sinuses, lungs and skin and helps balance blood sugar and metabolism for better energy. Colostrum bioactives even support hair growth and skin radiance by reactivating follicle stem cells and collagen production. Even elite athletes have used Colostrum for decades because it boosts endurance, lean muscle and cuts recovery time in half. For me, I've noticed significant benefits in my digestion, my bloating and my immunity response. Armor is sustainably sourced from grass fed cows on a family owned US dairy farm. Always calfed first so the newborns get what they need and they only utilize the surplus with tens of thousands. Thousands of five star reviews. I am not the only one who was obsessed and there is a reason you are seeing this product everywhere. You can try Armor colostrum and get 15% off your first order. Just go to tryarmra.comtbm or use code tbmallcaps at checkout for 15% off your first order. And now onto the episode. Libby. Welcome back to Expanded.
- [05:55]
A
How are you doing? Oh my gosh, I'm so well. I am very happy to see you. It's been a while since you and I spoke and here we are. I love it.
- [06:05]
B
I love it. Okay, so fill us in from last time we recorded. So you had just written this morning's walk and you were just really cultivating this practice of the healing powers of walking and really what that can do for you. And I feel like you've gone on to have this explosion in this next chapter of your life. Just co hosting an incredible podcast and also becoming a model and all of these adventures you've gone on, like mountaineering in the snow. Incredible adventures. I think you were partnered with Hoka on a couple of different things, like all these outdoors brands and what's the other one? Ravens.
- [06:50]
A
I'm gonna kill Raven.
- [06:51]
B
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [06:53]
A
Like it's a hard word to say.
- [06:56]
B
Unbelievable partnerships, unbelievable branding. Seeing your image everywhere, seeing the photo shoots that you've done, it's just so inspiring to see you come alive in such vibrance in this next chapter. And now you have a new book, Cold Joy. Tell us what's been going on since the last time we talked.
- [07:16]
A
My gosh, that's very kind of you. All that background. Well, I mean, truth be, my relationship with Tubebab Magnetic goes back I don't even know how many years. I don't know. I should have looked that up before I got on this podcast with you. But Lacey and I had a great conversation. You and I have talked and I think a lot of where I am currently is a result of, you know, much of your work and conversations with all of you. To be perfectly honest, I view none of this in terms of where I am now as just serendipitous. I view it as, you know, sort of thoughtful, step by step, to much like going for a Walk to get to where we want to be. And manifesting is a key piece of that. So where am I now? I'm 63. I am more myself than I ever have been. How did that happen? I think it comes from alignment with, honestly, who I am and with the universe. Quite honestly, I think I'm on the path I should be on. That's not to say I regret anything that has come prior to this. It all led me here. And it comes down to. I think the way I describe it is that as things started to really feel right and would light me up and feel, honestly, magnetic, I would take the next best step to. Towards whatever that was. If you had said to me 10 years ago, Libby, at age 60, you're going to start a new career as a model, I would have shrugged my shoulders and said, you're. That's interesting. I probably wouldn't have said you were crazy. Well, I might have said you were crazy, but I wouldn't have really understood that. That being said, this opportunity showed up, and at the time when it showed up, Clinique reached out and said, hey, would you like to be in a ad campaign? And I thought maybe because of my previous career, they meant as a creative director. They said no in front of the camera. And I paused and I thought, how interesting is this? I don't really know. That's not my craft. I don't know how to do that. And I really respect that craft of being in front of the camera. But what I did know, and this comes from doing work in this manifestation field, is that I was intrigued by it. And why was I intrigued? I was intrigued because I really love being on set. It's where I spent my career. I love being there. I love creating pictures. I knew that the photographer was a very interesting young photographer who I was really interested in. And I also knew that age 63, with all my wrinkles, I've chosen to age naturally. However anybody chooses to do it is absolutely right. This is just how I've chosen that there was an opportunity, potentially for me to tell a story that I never saw growing up, which is, it is okay to choose how you would like to move forward. And I always say aging is really just living. I mean, so I think in concert with all of To Be Magnetic's teachings and this practice of just honoring the energy that something created and keep moving towards it brought me here. It's the same with writing a book. So in any case, yes, doing all that modeling, I wrote a book. Again, not my craft per se. I'M an art director, but I have a few practices I think I would put in the. In the sort of pocket of manifesting that I do religiously all the time. And I think it has been very helpful in terms of building this world and this life, which I feel very grateful for. And I just love.
- [10:57]
B
I want to get into the rituals and practices, but I also want to highlight before we get into that, when you have that sensation of that magnetism or that excitement to continue to walk towards it. I think so many people. I've been DMing with a lot of people recently who. They get a little bit of taste of it, and they're like, okay, that was. That was good enough. I don't need to, like, keep going. Like, I got my fill. That was fun. That was a fun exercise or experiment. But the continuing on in the path, I think can be challenging for some because it's like, well, who am I to model? Or who am I to do this? Or who am I to do that? And all those voices come into our head and did those pop up for you? Did they grapple? Or were you just. That trust muscle was so strong that you're like, I've seen this before time again, when I followed this sensation, it always works out.
- [11:44]
A
Yeah, it's a great question. And I think both are sort of true. I think that little voice definitely shows up. I have given her a name. Her name is Ruby Dubina, and she's big and flamboyant. She often has bright red lipstick on that's all smudgy. And so I have this picture of her, her. And when she shows up, I often, literally will say out loud, I see you, Ruby, and I know the reason you've shown up is to protect me and to care for me. And I hear that, and yet on I go. And so that's where the trust muscle comes in. And maybe that's just a result of having, again, 63 years old. I've been practicing this. I also think it's, you know, you keep taking little steps towards this thing. I didn't land on that set the first day with Clinique, and all of a sudden this career takes off. No, it's just piece by piece. And if at any point that sort of sense of excitement or urgency or even just high energy, high vibes disappeared, I would then pause and wonder if the opportunity comes again, do I, in fact, take that next step? So it's really recognizing that each step is small. It's not huge as a result of taking those individual steps. I'VE ended up in some really wonderful places. And I think that comes back to the walking practice. I've been going for a morning walk every single day for coming up on 14 years. And I think I've learned in that practice the only way to get through the walk is incrementally, step by step, even if it's pouring rain, even if it's snowing like crazy. So it's a great question, and I think it's a little bit of both. Yes. I mean, for example, this new book I have coming out, coming out in the middle of October. It's called Cold Joy, and it's about cold exposure, which I started five years ago. And I constantly, in my voice, hearing this narrative, which is, yes, you're an author now, written two books, but you're not a writer. Now. That, to me, those are different. Writing is a craft that is not my craft. I really admire people for whom that's their craft. I haven't spent a lot of time doing it, but I finally had a dear friend of mine say to me, well, how does it become somebody's craft? Well, again, it's those incremental steps. So now every morning I write. Often I throw it out. Often I just get rid of it. But the only way to get to where you want to go is those little steps. And when Ruby shows up or that voice shows up is to comfort her, acknowledge her, and sometimes take her hand and take the next step with her and sometimes tell her to go back to bed.
- [14:26]
B
So good. Actually, a mutual friend of ours, Grace Abbott, who, you know, she has this saying, she's been saying a lot, which is, what a pleasure. What a pleasure it is to have this opportunity to do this. What a pleasure it is to have this challenge or this difficulty. And I even think having that moment. Yeah, that is such a dichotomy or such an interesting dynamic with feeling like an author but not a writer and the appreciation of the craft. And then it's like, okay, well, what a pleasure that I've authored two books that are amazing and touch people and resonate with them, and I can also simultaneously continue my artistic craft of writing. What a pleasure to have that situation.
- [15:09]
A
Yeah, that's really beautiful. And it's a nice way to frame it. I think parallel to that, I always. I often say to myself, what's the best that could happen? It's not what's the worst that could happen? But here I am, I'm sitting at the precipice of this book coming out. It's both Scary. It's scary and it's thrilling. And then I pause. I'm like, well, what's the best that could happen? The best that could happen is, you know, fill in the blank. And I think it's just sort of holding on to this opportunity that we're granted and holding it with tenderness and optimism is. Is in fact, magnetic.
- [15:45]
B
Okay, so let's get into some of those rituals that keep you connected. I imagine cold will pop in there at some point. So what are those things that you go to and lean on to support you?
- [15:58]
A
So. And I think this came out of a conversation with Lacy, in fact. But I've been doing this for a number of years now, which is at the beginning of every month, each the first couple of days, I have a running document that has six categories, and in it I have a running checklist of kind of, what's the best that could happen? And my dad growing up, he was just a brilliant human being, used to sort of say, dream bigger. Go ahead, dream bigger. And so in this document that I literally have kept, it's pages long now, in a certain category, I'll just dream really big. Is it the equivalent of a vision board, perhaps? Is it the equivalent? And quite honestly, because it's just a. It's a dreaming document, it's a manifesting document. I don't know. I feel I've gotten to be very brave in that document. Nobody sees it. I don't share it with anybody. And I have a little checklist next to each item. And I am always. I was going to say shocked, but I think that sends the wrong message to the universe. I am always incredibly grateful when I look at it, how many things I've checked off that when I wrote them, I never would have imagined that they might appear in my life. And there's some categories where I just keep dreaming bigger. And what does bigger mean? It doesn't mean more recognition. Just for me, what does bigger mean? And, you know, one could say whole. How do you dream whole? And that document is enormous, and there's a lot of checks, and I've just gotten braver and braver because of it. So that's amazing.
- [17:45]
B
I love this practice. I also love that it's pie in the sky. You know, you're not. It doesn't sound like you're listening it. And then you're like, oh, how am I going to make this happen? And stressing over it, you're kind of like, this is a fun exercise. I'm gonna let my fullest intuition come in and just put anything down that speaks to me and kind of like tuck it away and check in with it later. It's really that true. Like having trust and surrender with the process.
- [18:13]
A
And I think it also. If I'm really sort of. If I'm really grounded and dialed in, I feel like what I put on that list is kind of part of what. What's next on the path for me. And now I just need to keep. And it sort of feels like sometimes when, you know, I'm like, putting a check next to something, it's almost like the universe is like. Right, right. Of course. Well done. Yay. You know what? You took that step towards that. So that's one thing. The other thing I do is before I actually log into that document, I actually just quickly. I don't spend a lot of time on this, but I write myself a letter. What I learned last month. What did I learn? So it might just be a paragraph again, it's in the same document. Nobody ever sees it. What did I learn last month? What was hard? What was joyful? Sometimes it's just a list of three things. So simple, simple, simple. I don't spend a lot of time on it. But it is also really fun to scroll back and to say, oh, right. Oh, I needed to learn that one again. I learned that six months ago, and then I had to relearn it. We've talked about the fact that I go for a walk every morning. I view that as a grounding meditation practice. It's a compass for me. It's a place where I can get very quiet. I am not somebody. I'm not very good at identifying my emotions. That's a whole other story. But I find when I'm moving, when I add motion to my emotions, I understand them better. So when I get out and I move and I'm moving my body, I understand. Understand what's true. Those walks are kind of essential. And then I guess I just started this summer, which I really love. And I don't. I don't know how to implement it particularly, other than to say, maybe I'll do it every summer. But I. I called it a beta season. A beta. So just trying things out, trying new things, taking classes, failing left and right all over the place. Chaotic, messy, but just trying stuff. Does it give me energy? Is it. I think I gonna like it. So for one thing I did this summer was I'm sort of fascinated by making natural inks. Because I think of my graphic design background. I'm really interested in natural ink. So I started making this natural ink. I know incredibly esoteric, but again it's one of those things. Why do I judge it? It was for some reason lit me up. So I tried the first batch, failure, second batch, a little bit better. I just kept trying. I mean I kept reading about it, some of it. The ink that I have now is usable and I think is gorgeous. Does anybody else think that? I don't know. And it doesn't matter. So I just sort of calling it a beta season where in a way I just give myself permission to try all sorts of stuff. Half of it I fail at, but it doesn't matter. I mean you just keep trying. So I guess it's those things. It's this running list of the dream, bigger list. It's the write myself a quick little note of what I learned last month. It's going for a walk and beta season.
- [21:25]
B
I'm like there's a book idea with that, what I learned last month. But that's for the future. Who knows, we can set that out there. I mean I love all these practices too because they're very simplistic. They don't feel overwhelming. They feel like the little tiny check ins. And that's something I've been recognizing in my own kind of practice and ritual. Like the things that actually move the needle in my life are not sitting down and doing this elaborate project or whatever it is. It's the little tiny things that get my energy in alignment. And from that place anything can happen. But if I can attune to what I need to feel myself, to feel my best, they're small things for me. Ever since our talk, I adapted a daily walking ritual. This has been so transformative for me. Mine is usually in the afternoon and evening around golden hour. It's a way to like decompress from the day. But at minimum I'll get two miles. Usually it's around four to five. But it's just this time with self like there's just something so grounding about just also getting to choose your path or your trail and to get in the car and be like hey, where do I feel like going? What part of the city? Do I want to go into the mountains? Do I want to drive over to the beach? Do I want to go in a neighborhood? Like it's almost like a little kid energy where you get to explore and take yourself wherever you want. It has been probably the best thing for my mental health is having this ritual. So I so thank you for that inspiration and expansion.
- [23:01]
A
Oh, it's I'm sad just practically brings me to tears, to be perfectly honest. Because I think it is, to your point, it's often these practices that in some ways, on a daily basis, don't feel monumental. It is with the fidelity to the practice. It is the cumulative attention to who you are that's meaningful. I do think this sort of concept of fidelity is really powerful. When you remind yourself, when you remind the universe that I am going to be faithful to me and going for a walk, that's what that looks like. And that's not to say anything negative. But first and foremost, fidelity is to me and to what I what matters. And so to your point, even, I guess even to my little list that I do at the beginning of the month, it's not a heavy lift and it's really joyful and it's energy creating, and so it's not hard to do. What's meaningful is this sort of consistency.
- [24:04]
B
And this fidelity and the practice over time too. Yeah, I feel like I get a version of that. We have a monthly check in workshop where it's like, okay, how were you expanded this month? And what tests and triggers have presented and what are you navigating? But I like even simplifying it to, like, what was the biggest lesson? Even looking at it through that lens, I think is so massive. Especially because once you put it down on paper, it's almost like a subconscious commitment to resolving it in a way or viewing it in a new lens or saying like, I'm intentionally aware that this is here now, versus we might know it, but once we get it out of our heads and into the paper or onto the screen, it's like it transmutes in some way we're releasing it in a certain way, whereas it can just loop and loop and loop and loop and loop if we keep it in our brains.
- [24:58]
A
Yeah, it's so beautifully said, I think, and I'm sorry to keep going back to this list at the beginning of the month, but it's. It's almost as if, to your point, you said it so beautifully that when we actually sort of formalize it in a way by writing it down, once we commit to it by writing it down, it's almost as if, I don't know, there's a subtle different kind of energy to it versus it just sort of playing around in our head, we have committed to it. That's what my dream is. That's what I'm dreaming bigger towards. And I almost think we subconsciously take little tiny, almost indistinguishable gestures towards getting there. There might not even be conscious. We just. Okay, I know it's there. If you were to ask me now what was on my list, I probably wouldn't be able to tell you. But I think every single day, because I've put it down, I'm now moving towards those things. It's not like I put something outrageous on the list and I'm picking up the phone and trying to make it happen. I think I just. Each step I take kind of pulls me towards that. I think you said it so beautifully. Just by putting it on the paper, you kind of. You've committed to it as. And there's definitely things on my list, don't get me wrong, that haven't manifested or materialized. And at first I sort of thought, oh, gosh, I feel kind of like a failure. That one didn't happen. And now, I guess over the course of it's at least five years I've been keeping this thing. What I now feel like is it wasn't meant for me, that was a dream. And that's great. And not all of my dreams are meant for me. So I sort of look at them. I'm like, okay, that's fine. I'm glad I put it on the paper, or maybe it's going to happen in five years, I don't know. But I no longer hold this energy around it, which is somehow I didn't succeed or I failed because I didn't put check mark by it. I just, I. I kind of look at it, I love it, and say, okay, not now. And that's fine.
- [26:56]
B
And I think when you have so many check marks for other things, it's almost like, oh, this happened so divinely, so organically. I felt so led or so called in this direction, and they worked out perfectly. Why would I assume that these things wouldn't be coming because I failed? Or, you know, I can, I can also assume that those didn't come because it was also divine. It was also not supposed to happen in that timeline or who knows how it's supposed to transpire. Like, I can release the expectation to it.
- [27:28]
A
Yeah. The other thing I've also learned is sometimes the way I articulate something on that list actually shows up, but it's different from the way I articulated it. So, you know, one thing that's on my list is, you know, sort of having this incredible romantic partner. And what I realized, I don't know, six months ago was I was thinking of it as a. In a certain, honestly very limited way. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I have that. I have that in spades. It's just not the way I had articulated it, which was perhaps a single human, male human. And in fact, I pause. I'm like, oh, my gosh. My friends, my female friends are as meaningful and loving as I. What? What more do I want? So in a way, it's this kind of. It's also recognizing that the way I have articulated something may be too narrow, and the opportunity is to expand it and to think, you know, if I think, oh, I don't have that, but wait a minute, do I? It just looks different, has a different, you know, flavor to it.
- [28:49]
B
I think that's such a huge one. Is like, it. We think it has to come in a certain package. And when we break down the essence of what we're actually manifesting or looking for, dreaming up, is that essence present now? Do I just need to witness it? Am I not witnessing what is actually already here?
- [29:08]
A
That's right. In fact, it made me go back. We have some friends and I were going off for a wonderful weekend, and I was like, you know what? Tonight we're gonna have a romantic dinner. We're gonna light candles, we're gonna pour a glass of wine, we're gonna tell each other how much we care about each other. We're gonna serve each other dinner. And I was sort of like, okay, it's right here. I mean, I was looking at it through this one little keyhole, and it's like, oh, wow, I need to hold this in a much more gentle, expansive way. And so that. That's been a wonderful lesson too.
- [29:55]
B
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- [32:06]
A
Yeah, it's a great question. I think, I don't know. In 2025, friends are, I mean that is a most cherished currency. It is those relationships. So I'm not sure if I have any tips, but I think being a loving, dear, committed friend obviously takes effort and attention and conscious, present attention paying attention. I feel like in the last five or six years I have made, I mean, I feel so lucky. I've made a handful, a boatload of wonderful new friends. How did that happen? I've met them getting into this cold water and that sounds very funny, but it was about five years ago as the pandemic. Some friends and I drank on a walk. We just jumped in the water and kind of, I mean, honestly, we got out, we were like, oh my gosh, what just happened? All the light switches went off and we were giggly and laughy and joyful and I mean, it made us feel so playful in this time of the pandemic, which felt so heavy and isolating. In any case, fast forward as we mentioned, I have a book coming out called Joy Comes out in the middle of October. And it's about this practice of getting in the cold water. And here's the thing, I get in the cold water with this incredible community, primarily of women, although not exclusively. So it's back to your question. How does one make new friends? I think it's finding a shared experience that you on a regular basis share this experience with other people, whether it's a run club, whether it's a book club, whether it's, I don't know, cooking group or. So the thing about this cold water that also actually has little cheat code, a little unlock, is that when you do something with people, it's a little hard. Requires a little bit of bravery. There's a level of intimacy that comes with that. So I get in the cold, crazy cold water. We cut holes in the ice. We get in, we hold hands, we hug when we get in because we're so proud of each other. And the thing that happens is you are so, I am sorry, so proud of my friends when we do this. You can't help but truly love them and be happy for them. And so I guess the invitation is to find someplace where you can overlap with a group that you have a shared interest. I happen to think if it's a little bit hard, there is something that comes from that. Because knowing that it's hard immediately means that you hold the other person with tenderness and care because you know it's hard. The other thing about getting in the cold water with each other is we're all in our bathing suits, which means, I have to say, for women, is an intimate place. I can't tell you how many women come up to me and say, I haven't been in a bathing suit in a decade because I don't like this. They start pointing to their body, and I keep thinking, what have we done to each other? That you're incredible and beautiful, and you're standing here at the edge of the water, about to get into cold water, and you know what? You're beautiful. So that, in particular, with regards to this community, makes it very intimate. We're in our bathing suits. It's hard. It's sort of, I think, like being on a sports team together. You go through ups and downs, and, you know you're trying to accomplish something. Not that we're trying to accomplish anything, get in the cold water, but it's hard, and there's a regularity to it. So that rhythmic meeting at the water's edge, doing something that's hard, that's a little intimate, are powerful forces in creating a dynamic relationship. But I think it also requires us to consider putting ourselves into maybe slightly uncomfortable situations, to trust the other people to hold your. Your beauty, your tenderness, your needs, your wants. And that happens when we put ourselves in slightly tender situations. Not risky, not unsafe, just tender.
- [36:15]
B
That was one thing I was thinking about when you were talking about. That is the the safety piece. The safety you're creating to show up in your bathing suit imperfect and feel loved and feel accepted. You know, the safety to talk to someone. I know. For me, going in a cold plunge tank is one thing. Actually going into the ocean or the water when there's ice down would be terrifying. Also exhilarating, I'm sure. But to have a community with you, that's like, hey, this is scary. I get it. But we're gonna all go in together. You've got this. We're here for you. If you have any, you know, things coming up, we're here for, like, that attunement. It's got to be also so healing to be seen and supported in that way.
- [37:06]
A
Yeah. I mean, there have definitely been times when, you know, a small group of us, say four or five of us, and it'll be really cold out, and, you know, sometimes we look at each other like, what are we doing? Well, I mean, we know what we're doing because we love it. But there have been times where we all acknowledge that as we're walking to, you know, to get in the water, we've just cut a hole in the ice that sometimes, as we were talking about, that little voice shows up. So I grew up hating the cold. I mean, that's a whole other story. But every now and then, that voice and that fear shows up. And so what does one do? There we are. And I would say the people that I get in the cold water with, we all know each other well enough now that sometimes all I have to do is reach over and hold one of their hands. I don't have to say anything. I don't have to say I'm scared. I don't have to say that voice in my head is showing up. Nothing. I just hold their hand, and they'll look back and look at me and just, like, smile. Like, I get it. And here we go. I got you, and I love you. And honestly, the joy that comes from being seen and loved and held with that tenderness is. I mean, it's what life's all about, isn't it?
- [38:14]
B
Okay, so talk about cold joy. And this practice, this ritual. I think a lot of people, you know, it's so hugely popular right now. You can't, like, turn anywhere without seeing someone doing a cold plunge or talking about cold plunging. How did you come to relate to it in a way that felt good for you? Because I think there's a very. For lack of a better word, like hyper masculine, you know, go in and you have to Stay in for a long time. And it has to feel like this. And I feel like you have, like, opened my eyes to such a divine feminine power in doing it, but also listening to your body and what your body needs, not forcing it through, but actually, like alchemizing the power within you to do something you're proud of, but also not pushing yourself too far. So tell us everything.
- [39:04]
A
Well, you. I mean, honestly, you hit the nail on the head. I mean, I do believe that right now, in our culture, in our social spheres, what we see is a lot of call it bravado. And how long have you been in? How cold was it? And I have to say, when anybody asks me that, the answer is, it completely varies. Is it cold out? Is it windy? Is it icy? Am I dehydrated? Do I have jet lag? And so there is no answer and there is no right way to do it. I think your observation that the dominant narrative right now is a lot about time, and it's kind of grin and bear it, like, you know, and just work your way through to get to it. I would say the way I like to call our mermaid friends mermaids, we just like to get in the water together, and it's very soft. I think we try and do a very thoughtful job of saying to each other whenever you need to get. You're not. You're not better or stronger because you stayed in longer. That's not a thing. The fact that you're even here is pretty amazing. We all know that on any given day, each of our thresholds is unique and different, just as with everything in life. And that we're going to keep each other safe and we're going to try things that maybe we thought we couldn't do. Really, the thing about getting in the cold water for me was, as I mentioned, I grew up hating the cold. Or that was a narrative that I held that was one of my ideas identifiers. I mean, to be perfectly honest, I was the jackass in the office that when anybody turned the air conditioning down to, I don't know, pick a number, 67, I was like, ooh, gotta get my puffy coat, because I don't like being cold. Well, I live in New England and that it's a really limiting belief to say that and identify that and concretize. The fact that I hate the cold is limiting. So part of what started to happen as I started to play with the cold was to say, hey, can we change these definitions we have about ourselves? It also just so happened when I started getting in the water. A lot of things in my life were changing. My relationship status, my work sort of framework was changing. So a lot of things that I used to identify myself were wobbly. So I sort of thought, what if I look at this other thing that I use to identify myself, which is I hate the cold. And I explored how porous is that? Am I just hanging on to that with such control that I believe it? What if I didn't believe that anymore? What if I just changed that narrative? So I sort of started getting in the cold water to see what happens when we take these things that we use to identify ourselves and played with them a little bit, see how soft the edges are. Because then when I learned that that definition was poorest, then these other two things that seemed very hard that I identified with as a married person, those things I could also then begin to play with, those were also. They had softer edges and that they were porous. And the way that we define ourselves can be changed. And some of it is exploring those definitions. Some of them is letting them be softening around the edges. So that's sort of why I continued with the practice. And now it's really. I can't imagine my life without the cold, which is such a change because again, I identified myself exactly the opposite five years ago. And so it was a real lesson in looking at identity. So the book Cold Joy is a little bit about the practice. It's a little bit of story. It's a little love affair with the mermaids and stories that we been through together. And maybe ultimately it's an invitation for anybody who's sort of cold, curious to begin to. To think about it. And. And to your point, your beautiful point, which is there's another way to approach cold that maybe is less, I don't know, hard edged and almost competitive. There's sort of a component of the narrative I see now that has a competitive edge. And I don't think that's where the biggest lessons reside. I mean, I. For me, it's. Yeah, it's a very expansive place and fun to explore.
- [43:31]
B
I've only done a cold plunge probably maybe like 10 times. And every time I've done it, I have felt this vitality shoot through my body after. I think actually the first time I did it was with Sarah, you know, and she was like, no, you can do it. Like, go in. And I think I went in for like half a second and I went down and then I came right back, back up. I was like, oh, no, not for Me. And. And then my body adjusted and I was like, I kind of want to try again. Like, that felt really invigorating. I think I'm gonna try again. And then I went back in again. I was able to be in there for a little bit longer, tolerate it, sit with the sensation, sit with the feelings. And my fiance and I just went to a Airbnb in Arrowhead and they had a sauna and a cold plunge there. And I was like, okay, I am gonna test this out. And I felt so good, so clear. It felt like it lifted brain fog. I felt so in my body. So what would you say for, you know, if someone doesn't have a cold plunge or access to it, where to start? And also my question selfishly is if someone has access to a cold plunger, could get one. Like, should they go in every day? Is it safe to go in every day? Like, what do you think around all of that? So stuff too.
- [44:49]
A
So, number one, I'm not a doctor. I can only share with you my experience. The truth of the matter is, in many ways, there's very little science around it. There are definitely people who are doing some research and measuring all this. There's a really smart doctor, Susannah Soberg, who, you know, sort of talks about temperature and timing, which I'll tell you about. The truth of the matter is really this practice has been around for decades. Think of the Nordic countries. They've been doing it forever. I will say, however, though, interestingly, traditional Chinese medicine is not a fan of cold. They tend to stay away from it. So really, all I can tell you is my experience, which is when I have access to it, I go in every day and I spend a lot of time on the west coast and I get in with a group out there in the San Francisco Bay, the water tends to be low, 50s, 50s. So I get in every day. And sometimes it's short, sometimes it's longer. Sometimes we get carried away because we get in the water, we start chatting, we get out, and there we are. So I think Dr. Susanna Soberg sort of references a temperature, anything below about 60 degrees Fahrenheit. I think that's right. And she will say, on average, 11 minutes a week is great. And that anything beyond that she hasn't seen in her research, that there's much benefit. Now, the only thing I would say to that is I see benefit every single day. So I feel like I'm awake. It feels like the light switch has been turned on. The dopamine hit is really powerful. In fact, when I was writing this book, I have a little, just a metal tank in my backyard. It's a stock tank. I fill up with a hose. When I'd get stuck, honestly, I'd go get in it for a few minutes, all of a sudden slurp up the dopamine. It's a little bit clearer. I definitely have anecdotal stories of people who are in the midst of, you know, some challenging mental health issues that have found the cold to be extraordinarily helpful. No data, no science on this. I can't. You know, I would like to find a research crew that would like to honestly follow this group of women that I get in the water with because I think there's a lot of to learn. And I keep reaching out to research groups to see if they would follow us. I actually test myself on a whole variety of levels, including getting blood drawn and looking at various levels. So for me, what I can tell you is that getting in the water is. I do it as often as I can. I don't tend to use a cold shower when I'm traveling. Sometimes I'll try and find a hotel that has a tub and I just turn the cold water on. But really the magic, the true alchemy for me comes in wild water. Lakes, ponds, oceans. I don't mind a cold plunge tank, but for me, a lot of it is being immersed in these beautiful places. Last summer I spent some time in Alaska. We flew in on a float plane to this glacier fed lake. It was freezing cold and gorgeous. That was not about how long I stayed in. It was not any of those things. It was being surrounded and held in that water. I happen to think the water holds like the Earth story. So if you can get quiet, you can hear a lot. But there is one thing to really pay attention to, which is something called after drop, which is often when you get out of the water, your core temperature continues to go down. I like to let my body come back to baseline to heat by itself. I'll jump around, I'll move a lot, create some internal heat. Doesn't mean, I mean, a lot of people love getting in the sauna. I do too. But in general, I don't have access to a sauna every day. So I just have some tea, warm up by myself. And because I do it so often, I get back to my normal temp pretty quickly. But yeah. So after drop, something to think about. I always say don't go solo. I do go solo, but you know, until you're really comfortable with a Certain waterway or, or tell somebody you're going. I always do that. One thing I really love for people to think about as they get into the water is to especially wild water is to think of the water holding you gently, tenderly. Because often what happens is we get in the water, we go like this, we clench, we squeeze our hands, we get our, you know, our fists close to us to protect. And so the invitation is to see if you can go and relax into this space. And is it cold? Does it get easier? You know, as time goes on, not only in a single dip, but over the course of many, you know, the fear of the water softens. And yeah, it's a great practice. But again, I, I think it's probably wise to say anybody who's thinking about doing it, just talk with your physician about it. You know, I rarely have seen anything go sideways as a result of getting in the cold water. But don't make it competitive. Just listen. It's an opportunity to listen.
- [49:56]
B
I liked something that you said in the book about the water doesn't negotiate with ego, it invites you into your truth. I think that is also another hidden benefit, especially the wild water. That's another benefit of just the medicinal nature of being in water that I mean our water, especially when you're in oceans and lakes and think of how vast and how much life is beneath you and touching you and the history and all of the things to be immersed in that I always say, like the dip in the ocean is always so, so healing for so many reasons that we have no clue. But you can feel it when it's different.
- [50:40]
A
Foreign.
- [50:45]
B
You've heard us talk about our pathway membership, but what actually is it? It is an all access membership where you can get every single workshop that we've ever created. All of our deep imaginings, which are our reprogramming audios to help you manifest. You can access it on the desktop or in the TBM app on your phone directly. We of course have our foundational workshops such as our how to Manifest workshop, which takes you through step by step through this neural manifestation process to actually unblock, expand and take align action to connect with your manifestations. Our how to be magnetic workshop, our inner child and shadow workshops. And then of course we have a workshop. If you are in a rut, if you're in a rock bottom, if you're an up level, perhaps you need to set boundaries. Maybe you want to focus specifically on the block of money or love. It is all in there. And then twice a year as a community, we Gather for our challenges. Our challenges are one of the most effective parts of the process because you get accountability. It is really a handheld experience in how to work through whatever the theme of that year's challenge is. And now to my absolute favorite part of our membership, which I think in and of itself would be worth the entire weight of the membership if we just had this alone. Our Deep Imagining Library. This Library encompasses over 60 neural reprogramming audio tracks, their self hypnosis track that will really support you in any step of this journey. If you're needing calming nervous system regulation, unblocking with a specific test or trigger, going through a difficult time processing a big emotion, or maybe you just want reinforcing how to reinforce those neural pathways of confidence, abundance, self worth, deservingness and connection with your dream life. And not only that, if you go to the app we just launched Deep Imagining Playlist where we're grouping different themes of DIS together. So no matter what you're going through, you have something for you. And we're constantly dropping new playlists as well as brand new Deep Imaginings. And if you need more support in your process, you can go to our brand new video series Channelings with Lacy, where she touches on the exact energetics that are going on right now in manifestation and how it may apply to your life. So obviously I am a huge fan of this membership. The peace of mind I get from being able to have all the tools I need at my disposal. No matter where I'm at with my life, if shit's hitting the fan, if I'm feeling dysregulated, if I'm needing to come back to my center, if I'm needing to brainstorm or daydream or connect with what my vision for my future is, every single tool is in there to support me. And don't just take my word for it. We have thousands of testimonials of people who have had incredible success stories with these tools. So take the guesswork out of your manifestation process and get real tools that are going to give you real results. For podcast listeners only, you can use code expanded all caps E x P A N D e D for 20% off your first month of the pathway. Join now and have your best year yet. What are some of those other lessons that those almost like hidden lessons that you have found within the cold water?
- [53:59]
A
I mean, it's back to what you and I talked about previously, which is trusting your body. I think a lot of us. Well, I'll speak for myself. I didn't necessarily Trust what my body was telling me, or I ignored it, or. So when you get in the water, the water demands you pay attention. You get to presence very quickly. It's like a meditation in many ways, right? You get in the water, you have to pay attention. You're not thinking about the list of things that has to happen. You're not thinking about what's happening in our world. You are right there at that moment. And I think anything that provides an opportunity for us to be extraordinarily, exquisitely present is a beautiful practice because it's so easy to be disconnected. So I, you know, as a tool for presence, it's a pretty powerful one. I also believe that the water, you know, it was once our tears, it was then a cloud, and then it was our tea. And then. So it's like this incredible. I don't know, being in that wild water, it's like being part of this really dynamic, holistic ecosystem. And I think that's a wonderful reminder. It makes you humble and can't help but be grateful when you're in the. I can't help but be grateful when I'm in the water.
- [55:21]
B
I'm curious if you have this experience. We did our money challenge over the summer, and so much of it was redefining our relationship to abundance. What does abundance really mean? What does it really look like and how. Nature is one of our best abundance expanders because it shows us the infiniteness, the vastness. It doesn't strive for more. It just is in blooms and goes through cycles of pruning and death and then returns and all the things. Have you felt a deeper connection to that abundance when you're in the water? I feel it when I'm surrounded by trees and nature. But I imagine immersed in the water, you feel it on a totally different level.
- [56:04]
A
I think what I've come away with, and again, it may be my age, but. But it's like the most powerful currency we have is time, energy. Yes. There's the financial component. Yes, absolutely. And that's important. And there is also this other currency that, to your point, you can't help but feel when you're in the natural world. And one could argue, I guess at age 63, I would argue the most valuable currency there is on the planet is our own personal energy level and time. And, you know, one could argue love too. And that. That is certainly true. So I guess when I'm in the water, I feel that sense of time or I understand it as you sort. Beautifully put. You just have. There's a different sense of time when you're in the water. You're also keeping track of the time while you're in there. And it generates so much energy that it, it feels like being plugged into the universe. I mean, you just, to your point, you feel alive when you're in there. So in terms of abundance and currency, in a way, in many ways. And when I'm with my mermaids, you know, there's such affection and love. So it's like, wow, I just went to the bank on all three funds. Energy, time and love and affection. What could be more valuable than those that triad of things? I'm not dismissing the importance of financial currency and abundance, of course. And I think in these kind of ecosystems, you just begin to understand the value of some of these other things as well as being. To have energy, abundant energy. Woo. So valuable. And to understand, truly understand the value of time on this planet. I mean, you know, maybe that gets very esoteric, but I somehow feel like this practice has reminded me of some of those points. And to your beautiful point is that there is an abundance and half of it is recognizing it and being grateful for it.
- [58:14]
B
Oh, so many good things. Now I'm like, okay, should I drive to the ocean today? I wonder if I'll be a little bit chilly.
- [58:20]
A
I wish I was. I were with you. I would go with you in a heartbeat. We'd take a thermos and some nice cozy socks. Yeah. So when we got out, we'd feel great.
- [58:30]
B
So good. Where can people connect with you? Find the book. What do you have next on the horizon?
- [58:37]
A
Oh, you're so nice. Thank you. Well, putting together a website this Cold Joy. The book is called Cold Joy. But the website is this Cold Joy or on Instagram, the walking practices this morning, walk.com. my personal Instagram is Park here. Where did that come from? Everybody always asks. I mean, I don't know when I made it 15 years ago. My middle name is park and I think one of my work colleagues thought it was funny. So park here. But yes, Cold Joy comes out in the middle of the month and I'm just beginning to put together another proposal for the next book on aging.
- [59:11]
B
Oh my gosh. Okay, that was my last question. I think I have for you too, about just thinking about how magnetic and empowered and authentic your energy is. Now, what would you tell people who are scared of getting older, of looking at some of the other models we've been shown in the media of what it means to age? Right. And what that looks like? What Would you say to people to. Just the word I want to say is like, get them to wake up and realize, like, the life starts every single day, you know, like it starts at every moment. But how has your experience been with that? And what advice would you give there?
- [59:53]
A
Yeah, it's a hard question, right? Because we certainly do have a cultural narrative that aging. I think people hold it as dying. You're dying when you're aging. I have tried to flip that which is aging is simply living. And I am incredibly grateful. And I'm very fortunate on so many fronts to be healthy. I think I view this time in my life as we started off this conversation. I'm more myself now than I ever have been. I don't have any regrets. I kind of wish I had gotten here earlier, but here I am. And this may. I don't know. I don't view this as sad, but my friends and I, we say to each other, we've got. If we're lucky, we have 30 summers left. And you better believe I am going to do my best to honor my energy, my time back to that currency. I feel so fortunate in so many ways. And I guess my frame is that aging isn't limiting. It just looks different. I can do different things now than I could when I was 20. Okay, well, it was the same. I mean, every season it changes. I guess somehow I've gotten to a place where I don't find it discouraging. I simply try and accept what is and live fully into that. That space. I mean, as we talked about, I've started brand new things. I mean, modeling at age 60. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. And yet here we are. So, you know, I guess I'm trying to hold it with absolute joy and curiosity and just keep taking the next best step, as we talked about. But I think it's holding this truth, which is aging is really about living. It's not. It's not about dying.
- [61:42]
B
I love it. And the, the vision too, that with every single year that you live, you are becoming more and more and more at home with yourself. That as a North Star is just huge, huge. So exciting.
- [61:57]
A
And I also think it's interesting to look at other cultures where elders were revered for their knowledge, for their experience, for potentially their patience and tenderness because they'd seen a lot. And I think we've somehow we flipped that. I mean, we have a culture that's obsessed with youth, which I can understand. Being young is super fun. Tis great too. But we can't do anything other Than age. That's. I mean, we can't stop it. And so I don't know, as far as I'm concerned, might as well love it and live as fully as we can in that space. So that's where I am.
- [62:36]
B
So good. Thank you so much, Libby. So expansive every time.
- [62:41]
A
I'm so glad you're walking. That just literally. That practically brought me to tears to hear you say that. I love that when I go for a walk tomorrow, I'm going to be thinking of you.
- [62:51]
B
I'll send you a picture of my walk tonight. It's so silly that it's so simple, but it's seriously one of the most transformative practices that no matter the day I've had, great day, bad day, annoyed day, sad. Anything that is my anchor back to self of like, okay, let's sit, let's process, let's walk through this. Let's experience the world tangibly around us. Let's make meaning of this tree or have a conversation with that cloud.
- [63:22]
A
Beautiful.
- [63:23]
B
It's everything.
- [63:24]
A
No, it is. And I think I've certainly had people say to me, lib is just walking. I'm like, that's the point. That's exactly the point. Right? We don't need to make it any more complicated than that. And I think that's what's really beautiful. Well, thank you for this conversation. You always ask the best questions. I love it. And thank you to, to be magnetic and all the practices that you share. Because I think the truth of the matter is we at our core are incredibly expansive human beings. And I think half of it is enthusiasm. When you're enthusiastic about something, it's really contagious. And I think that's certainly part of your teaching. So thank you.
- [64:07]
B
Thank you. I hope you all enjoyed that episode today. And if you are thinking of deep imaginings, to dream bigger, to allow yourself to even think that more could be possible for you, no matter what season or space you're in. Here are the DI's I would recommend. Dream Life, DI, Future Self DI and Abundant Life. This stack of DIS is going to get you thinking so much bigger than maybe where you're at right now. Allow yourself to dream big. This is a big season of reflection and integration of the year, so we can start to dream big. Thinking of going towards the end of the year and then into next year. You are so worth it. And I can't wait to see you guys next week.
- [65:05]
A
Sa.