← EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
Ep. 389 - Purpose Over Perfection: How to Have Your Most Aligned Year in 2026
00:47:51
What if you knew yourself well enough to know when a decision is aligned on a soul level? As the Year of the Snake comes to a close, we’re completing a season of stripping away what no longer fits, what we’ve outgrown, what we’re finally ready to release. What remains beneath it all? And do you trust and know yourself enough to follow it? In this solo episode, Jessica offers a grounded reframe for entering the new year with self-trust and intention—without the pressure of making it your “best year yet.” She explores how real alignment comes from honoring subtle, daily shifts, allowing both expansion and contraction, and making space for embodied “no’s” that protect your nervous system and energy. This episode dives into manifestation through the lens of the new paradigm, which is rooted in self-worth, clarity, and ease rather than force. If you’re feeling caught between motivation and resistance, this conversation will help you reconnect with your inner knowing and move forward ...
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What does it feel like to just say no? I just want to give you guys permission to step into the driver's seat this year a little bit more. And know that so much of your magnetism, so much of your manifestation, so many things can open up on the other side of that embodied. No. Happy 2026, everyone. Welcome to the new Year. I hope you guys are feeling this anticipatory excitement, motivation, but you're not using it against yourself. In the beginning of the year, there's so much momentum. We're ushered into a whole new year. It feels like a fresh start. Endless possibilities. We can craft our manifestation list. We can get intentional on our goals or our intentions for the new year. And simultaneously, the real wins are in the tiny little moments that we decide to relate to the ebbs and flows of life differently. So whether you're starting this new year with a bang and so much excitement and good things are coming and you're taking aligned action and you have all this flow, or you're already facing resistance, sometimes when we start the year, obstacles can hit us. Obstacles. I know a lot of people that got sick this first week. Things are not optimal for the starting and the full action. And that is actually the perfect thing to shift our reality, to shift into a new way of relating when shit hits the fan or things don't go as planned, how can we roll with the punches with a little bit more ease this year than last year? And in rolling with the punches, in accepting what is, in surrendering to the present moment, can we see the real magic, the real wins on the other side? So let's dive into New Year energy, and let's also talk about how we can manifest into this new year based off of the shifts in energy that we're all receiving. And one quick announcement before we jump in. We are extending our New Year sale so you can join our entire pathway membership for $12 for the first month and then lock in the sale rate for the rest of the year. You can utilize our Money challenge, Return to Magic challenge, which we're really clearing those major blocks as it relates to Inner Child and Shadow. We'll be having a new channeling with Lacy this year. We have all of these regulating, somatic tools that we're going to be creating more of in the new year. We have our little manifestation ritual. We have so many workshops, Rot, rock bottom, magic, dark. All the things you need for this entire year to get your mind, your body, your soul back in alignment, back into that magnetic state, back into the return to self. We are here for you. So if you are getting the ping to join, now is the time. The sale closes on January 11th at midnight PST and I cannot wait to see you guys in there. Okay, let's get into it. And now a word from our partners. This year I am all about the small habits, the small wins that I can make on a regular basis consistently that will transform my year over time. And one of those spaces that I'm looking at is what I'm snacking on. I am a huge tortilla chip fan. It is one of my most favorite, not guilty pleasures, but so many brands out there use seed oils or processed oils that can make you feel bloated, sluggish, break your skin out. And so I have been on the hunt for the cleanest possible tortilla chip and recently got hooked on masa chips. This is they are made with just three ingredients. Organic Nishtimali corn, sea salt and 100% grass fed beef tallow. No seed oils, no fillers, no mystery chemicals that you can't pronounce, just real food. And it makes such a difference. After eating the masa chips, I have no bloating, I don't feel sluggish. I have full energy. And I also just enjoyed one of my favorite new snacks. They are super crunchy and rich, flavorful, perfectly salted, deeply satisfied, fine. And not like regular tortilla chips on the market that just feel kind of bland and overcooked and not quality. I'm obsessed with their original, their white tortilla and their lime tortilla. And they also have a churro flavor option which is such an amazing little dessert treat I've been having at night. If you are ready to start your masa adventure, go to masachhips.com magnetic all caps M A G N E T I c and use code magnetic. Magnetic M A G N E T I C All caps for 25% off your first order or simply click the link in the video description or scan the QR code to claim this offer. Again, that's 25% off with code magnetic. Enjoy and happy snacking. And now onto the episode. First off, in this episode I want to note if you guys are watching on video or on video on Spotify and YouTube. Check it out. I promise you it's really, it's worth it. It's fun. I got this mug from my dear friend Sarah and it says everything is always working out for me and it's really funny because she gets me a very thoughtful mug every year and the first two years she got me the mug, it said the F bomb really loud on it and it was like the cup of coffee in the morning and you just are like, screw it. I'm not gonna say it, but you know, you release the F bomb to the world and it's funny and it goes with her personality. I was like, okay, this is cute. And it is so interesting how the message was everything is always working out for me. It's a little bit more gentle. And what I love about this and the symbolism of this is that we have to hold the both and of life. If we stick too much to the ugh, screw everything. It's so frustrating. It's so hard. We're never going to see the magic. We're never going to see how things are working out for us. And simultaneously, if we're always just looking for the magic and we're pressing down the hard stuck feelings, we're not going to be able to metabolize the goodness and it's going to come out backwards and it's going to feel heavy and dense in our energy systems. And I think this is a really good analogy diving into this new year. I wrote this in my journal over break when I was thinking about this new year and this idea came to me and it was like, 2026 is not going to be, quote unquote, my best year yet. I don't really want it to, to be my best year yet. I don't want to have a best year yet. I want to have a lot of really good, beautiful, complex growth and magical years. Right? Many, many, many of those years. So I'm not really looking for it to be my best year yet. I wrote 2026 won't be the best year of your life. It won't change everything, but it can get really, really good, really big and really aligned. The stuff that's dragging you down can be removed. The glass ceiling you put on yourself can be lifted. The things you thought you'd manifest one day can be this year. But it's not because everything is suddenly perfect. It's because you stopped waiting for it to be, to finally make your move. So I feel like this is part of the energy that we can all tap into at this time of year. It's less. How do I execute with perfection? How do I take action with perfection? How do I move forth with control? And more so, how do I keep my energy in the state that is optimal for me? Uniquely so as life comes at me, the choice of what is correct for me is Easy. The choice of, oh, okay, that's a hardship. I need to sit with that for a second. Is easy. The, oh, wow. I was sick the first week of the new year, so I'm gonna take this break and not feel guilty or ashamed or mad or resentful about it. I'm gonna understand that this is just a lesson in slowing down, and I can accept that and metabolize that. This is really the lesson of the both. And so many people have talked about this being the year of the horse, which doesn't start until February. I think there's seven or so weeks before we jump into that. So we're still in this last phase of stripping. We're still in this last phase of shedding year of these old identities, these old parts of self that. That want to come off of us. I'm sure you felt it. That part or that habit or that aspect where you're like, I. I think I'm done with this. I don't want to deal with this anymore. And I'd be curious if you gave yourself full permission, what that thing is. What about your life that you were operating in, in 2025 or earlier is ready to just drop off and drop off without drama, without overthinking, of just kind of like, no, I'm done. So I'll share one small example that I face. And I think I've talked about this on the podcast, but as a team, I've been thinking so much about, how can everybody be in their zone of genius? How can I really empower the team to be in the place where they are so excited, loving what they're doing and all the things that don't light them up. How can we clear them as a team? You know, obviously there are things that we're going to have to do that we don't always love. But if that is something that's taking a significant portion of someone's day, how can we move it or shift it? And one of the things for me when I do that audit is emails. We have amazing people working on writing the copy for emails. And I have such a hand in, like, checking the links and making sure everything goes out before. And I can do it, and I can see where it can be improved. And I have notes almost every time, and yet it zaps my energy, and I find myself feeling like, oh, I have to get this done. I want to make sure it's good. I wanted to, like, you know, give my best notes for it. But it's not my zone of genius. It's not the thing that after I do it, I have more energy. Like recording a podcast. After I record a podcast, I'm, like, buzzing. I feel so good. So when it came to emails, I was like, why am I holding onto this task? I just have the power to choose to empower the team to handle it. And something just like a lightning bolt struck me over break, and I was like, oh, I'm just gonna put together a template of everything that the checklist I run through every single time I look at the emails to look for these 10 to 20 things, the standard to which I want it to be checked, and I'm gonna pass it off to the team and. And then that's it. And now that's not on my plate anymore. And they can feel empowered to, like, make sure the email is in the best of their zone of genius, because that's already in their zone of genius. So I'm releasing that. But there was no drama about it. There was no, okay, I'll have to do this. And there was no big to do around it. It was just like a very practical decision, just naturally came to its close, and it was ready for that next chapter. So I share this because I'm sure there are places as you guys are sitting and listening to this, thinking, oh, my gosh, I have things that I'm doing or habits that I'm repeating that don't feel correct for me. I can guarantee almost everyone is thinking time spent on their phone, and that's what I'm really interested in. Also personally moving through this year of, like, how to still connect online without being sucked into a rabbit hole of mindless, intentionless time spent on. I'll share more on that as I learn, but I bet that's one where someone a lot of people are coming up on. How could I better use my time? And one other thing, I just want to plant the seed in with you guys that we're doing as a team this year, and I'm personally doing a lot of this year. I know Lacy's doing a lot of this this year as we usher in closer to the new paradigm, which will be this new energy, this shift in the collective into the individual system getting really clear. We always say this, that no is the most magnetic word. Your empowered no is the most magnetic word. But in that no, can you understand, even minimally, what you are giving up by not saying no to something that is not 100% a yes? So let me break this down in a different example, right? So let's say as a Business. You guys do all these different things. You are on Instagram, you are on social media, you have your emails, you do all of this stuff. But not every sector lights you up completely. If you just focused your attention on the things that fully fed that authentic code that lit you up, that gave you excitement, and you started saying no to the things that were like, oh, we can do it or we should do it, and you let them drop off. It's scary. It feels like a risk. But in doing that, could you see how things could exponentially grow in the spaces that you're putting that attention on? And that's, you know, a business example. Think about that in terms of dating or finding a new friend group or a more aligned friend group. Instead of spending a lot of energy meeting with a bunch of different dates or meeting with a bunch of different friend options. Because the relationships are good, but they're not the lightning bolt friendship that you're looking for. They're not the dream partner that you really want. Anytime you get a signal that that is not the right romantic partner or something doesn't align, can we double down on our. No sooner can we say, oh, I respect them. Nothing wrong with them. It's just, this is not the right match. This doesn't connect. And I'm gonna say no, faster. The only caveat I will give here is you have to understand your programming. So if you are someone that typically settles or holds things for too long or holds relationships or has very porous boundaries and can be codependent, that, no, this year is going to be your mega, mega, mega superpower. However, if you're someone that cuts people off very quickly already, it may be the opposite. So I just want to go bring that to attention. But I do feel like a lot of us, at least in some areas in our life, are a lot slower to end things, even though we know they're not correct. And I just want to give you guys permission to step into the driver's seat this year a little bit more and know that so much of your magnetism, so much of your manifestation, so many things can open up on the other side of that. Embodied no. I think part of the reason this may be coming up as well is in our return to Magic Challenge that our community is still going through this year. There are two different developmental phases where we learn no. The autonomy and boundaries piece, and then our authentic identity and belonging piece. So this is really our toddler phase and our adolescent phase. This is where we cultivate that embodied no and no allows us to Clear any waste, anything that's not correct for us out of the way so we can give all of our full energy to the things that are a yes. So if you are someone that struggles with that empowered no. I would go back to the toddler phase, the autonomy and boundaries and the adolescent phase, the authentic identity and belonging to and really sit with even practicing in those DI's. What does it feel like to just say no? You have the power. No negative consequences will come, especially not in the di. You're just training your brain and giving yourself neural pathways that when you say no, there doesn't have to be a dire consequence, that you actually have the power to say no. And it can be so well received and so grounded and so intentional. And I would give yourself a little bit of practice in those deep imaginings to just step into that no further and further. And not in a way of being cold or harsh by any means, but because that no is helping fuel your energy for something even more aligned. The other piece with the no, especially as we move into this year, as we usher into the new paradigm, is understanding that everyone has their aligned path out there. They have a world in which they can meet up with the resources, the situation, the support that they need for their highest good. And so if we are saying yes to things that aren't that full body, yes. If we're allowing time and energy and mind space on things that are not that full body, yes, we're literally draining our life force. We're draining our gifts or draining our magic, and we're also draining someone else's. Even when we feel like we're being kind, even if we can see that they want to do something with us, but it's not correct for us. And then you carry on. Think about a romantic relationship. One partner's fully in it, the other partner has one foot out the door. It's a matter of time before that eventually ends. And think of all that time that was wasted that the partner who had one foot out could have just said, hey, this isn't right. And you are going to have someone that is so aligned for you, that chooses you no matter what. But this isn't it. So you can really take inventory this year, especially January, up until that year of the horse starts to usher in and mid February of where are those places and spaces where that no needs to be a little bit stronger, where that boundary needs to be a little bit firmer. And it's a boundary from love. It is a boundary because you really believe in the highest good of others. And you really believe in the highest good of yourself, watch what shakes out. Do you ever feel like you're doing all the right things? Eating well, working out, stacking supplements, but still struggling with low energy, brain fog, fatigue, glucose spikes, digestive issue, anxiety, or even random joint aches? The surprising part, Some early studies show that these can all be signs of a deficiency in one essential nutrient in your body that it needs to keep your cells strong. That's C15, the first essential fatty acid to be discovered in over 90 years. When your body doesn't get enough, your cells become fragile and age faster, A condition scientists are now calling cellular fragility syndrome. And when your cells weaken, everything from energy to mood to metabolism can suffer. Fatty 15 is the pure, optimized form of C15 that helps repair your cells and protect them from future breakdown. That means healthier liver function, stronger red blood cells, steadier glucose handling, and sharper cognitive health. On top of that, many people notice less anxiety, better sleep, and even healthier skin and hair. For me, I've noticed significantly less brain fog, better digestion immediately when taking, especially if I've been off of it for a bit and then I take it again. I noticed the exact same day my digestion is running so much smoother, my metabolism seems to have sped up, and I notice my energy is cleaner and clearer throughout the day. Fatty 15 is backed by over 100 studies proven to deliver three times more cellular benefits than Omega 3s. So if any of those symptoms sound familiar, it might not just be stress. It could be low C15. Try fatty15 today and get 15% off your 90 day starter kit@fattty15.com TBM or use code TBM all caps at checkout. Again, that's code TBM, all caps at checkout for 15% off your order. Okay. This was the other big ping that was coming through for me when I was gonna record this episode. Part of having that empowered no is having faith in our instinct. So if we are disconnected from our intuition, from our instinct, from the part of us, from our higher self, if we don't have a clear connection to that no is very confusing because we don't know if we're saying no out of fear, and we don't know if we're saying no out of instinct. So perhaps even before you go into your no, if you feel disconnected from your center, from your choice, from your decision, I would work on that through line being reconnected. And this is how I see it play out. And I saw it even I did A question box for this episode. And so many questions were questions where I'm like, you just told me the answer, but you're not listening to yourself. Someone would say like, is it okay to do 2 dis per day or should I do one? And I understand wanting to do the neural manifestation work to the optimal benefit to your brain. However, this is really the year that you have to trust that you know what's best for you. For example, Dr. Tara has said, One deep imagining per day is fantastic. However, there have been days, especially as we start to get shorter DI's or more regulating DIs that are going to be short tidbit things. There are times that I've been able to do two or three DI's in one day or I'll stack a couple short ones back to back. And it works incredible for me on that day. And there are other days that like, more than one is way too much. But I trust myself, I have the evidence because I've experienced it, I've done it and I felt really good after. And so I'm not outsourcing my choice to someone else in that scenario. And this is not to call out that person who asked me the question. I think it's an amazing question. We get things like that a lot. But I wanna empower you to start getting curious about instead of what is the best way, instead of optimizing what you think someone else may know is best for you. Trial and error things so you can feel what is a yes and no for you. And this connects to so many places of our life. I'll give you a personal example. I have been getting the ping to share a lot more content. You know, I Talked about my YouTube last year I launched my first video and then I was very inconsistent with it. And there's this pull to go back and, and share a lot more on there this year. And simultaneously I get very subtle. I don't even know if they're pings. I'll. I'll actually call them urges to create on TikTok. And then I've also been craving long form writing for Substack. Now I have been bouncing around what platform I should double down on in the new year, which one do I want to focus on? So I really had to sit with this, like, what was the best decision for me? And I found myself all break at every dinner party and Christmas and holidays and all the things I was like, guys, what do you think, like I should do? What do you think is the best place? Like, I know I could Go grow probably pretty quickly on TikTok because it's a volume game and you grow faster. And YouTube, you know, is, is a lot more editing and a lot slower, but you are building like an intentional community and substack. I just, I don't, I don't want to be on the hook for every single week having to do this. I wanted to feel more fluid. Like it was just monkey mind thought after monkey mind thought. And eventually I had to sit down and say, Jess, what does your body want to do? Instead of overanalyzing and putting the analytical hat on of what is the strategic move and what is the correct move? Or why not just start creating more in the categories that you are really excited to create in and let any other ego pulls drop off. And for me, I like spending time on YouTube like I watched so many people's YouTube. I like the long form. I like putting it up on my TV screen and making it a little movie and getting to see into someone's life or playing it like a podcast, you know, video of someone like that enthralls me. You can just see even in that example, how easy it is for your strategic mind, for your mental mind to come online and try to play Whack a mole. And in that Whack a mole, instead of debating what platform would be the right platform to grow on, I could have just taken the action. I could have just recorded a new YouTube video and posted it and seen how I felt and trusted that process. So I think that is something I saw come up in the questions a lot, which is, where are you outsourcing your choice and not listening to yourself and avoiding taking action because you are in that. Let me think about it. Let me make the perfect choice. Let me make the correct choice. If you are a perfectionist, you know what I'm talking about here and give yourself permission to just take messy action. Even If I made 20 more YouTubes and then I was like, wow, okay, that's it, I'm done. I don't wanna do that anymore. Now I wanna do TikTok. I have the lived experience of having done that and put out my art or my expression on these channels and maybe that's all it was meant to be. So I think we have to give ourselves a little bit more permission to the felt sense, to the intuitive sense, instead of letting our controlling minds kind of take over logistically. Here's the other piece. We are basing our strategic logic on the world that we have seen before. The new paradigm is stepping into a world that we haven't quite seen yet. We don't know how things are going to operate. We don't know the value systems that's going to land. We don't know what for our businesses or our careers or our lives or our relationships. We don't know how that's all gonna look. So instead of using our strategic mind to make choices that our soul and our heart has already made, let's just follow the soul and the heart now because it's preparing us ahead of time to the strategy of the future of what that looks like. So just to put that a different way, if you are using strategy and intellect and pre planning based off of a system that's changing and shifting and dying off, then the places you end up may be further away from where you ultimately wanted to go. The ultimate feeling. Okay, and this brings me to the last big piece before I get into the questions that I wanted to touch on, which is how our manifestations are massively shifting from these material major things to internal experience states and to be a little bit more fluid with the scaffolding, with the form of what we manifest, but understanding our why very clearly. And I got this message a lot over the holidays where people are like, my manifestations are not looking the same as they have looked before. They're less. I want to hit this metric, I want this material thing and they're more embodied states. I want to feel more peace, I want more downtime and rest. I want to feel less guilty for the downtime and rest. I want to feel more presence with my kids and my family. I want you guys to give yourself permission to let those non material things be your North Star. For example, a friend was starting a business last year and it was their first year in business. So they put very specific numerical goals on what revenue they wanted to make for that year. They wound up hitting it. I would say that this person is now in a place of stability consciousness, at minimum, probably success consciousness, because in their first year of business they actually made money. But beyond that, when they started setting their goal for the next year, sure they could put that money increased, but why? What does that give them? What does this growth for growth sake cycle actually do? And I would get way more curious about that why and how the goals are serving that why than the actual growth goal. Because we come from this old paradigm system that where it's just up into the right. Up into the right. We're constantly growing, we're constantly growing. And if we're not, you know, if we hit this number, then we want to hit this number. Even on social media people are like, okay, I hit ten thousand, I want to hit a hundred thousand, I want to hit this. Why? What does that give you? So get really, really clear on the if you are putting a material thing down and that's not to knock it, if that feels TR to you and you still really have a very specific material thing, put it on the list. I'm not telling you not to trust your gut. I am saying that you should really understand your why, really know what that is going to give you or what you hypothesize that it may give you. And I'm also telling you for the people who don't want to put a very specific material item on there, that is okay too. You can just be getting to the next rung of feeling inner peace on a day to day basis. And that is a beautiful, incredible manifestation to strive for and arguably will get you so many material things along the way, I am sure because you're actually getting to the root of what you your soul is searching for. If you are walking into this season feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, exhausted, tested, triggered in love, money, career, relationships, you are not alone. And when that happens, it's always your inner child, your safety, your self worth, your nervous system that takes the hit. That is exactly why we created the Return to magic challenge. A 15 day manifestation challenge guiding you to reparent your inner child, reconnect with your magic and step into this new year as your most confident, regulated magnetic self. So that means not only are you going to get this challenge, but you're going to get every single TBM workshop including how to manifest inner child, Shadow, love, money, boundaries, rut, rock bottom plus our entire library of deep imaginings, our science backed self hypnosises that are formulated with emdr, somatic healing parts work and neuroscience tools to help you regulate your nervous system and reprogram your subconscious so you can actually create the life you want. And you are just in time because we are in the final days of our biggest sale of the year where you can get your first month of TBM for only $12 and then 30% off the rest of the annual membership. This sale will be closing January 11th at midnight PST and these prices will not last. This will be the lowest discount we will offer for a long time. So if you are looking to join, now's the moment. Return to your magic. Let's begin your journey today. Let's get in to some questions. So what's the difference between your Soul's purpose and authentic essence and your authentic code. Your authentic code, they can be very similar, and they'll probably have overlap. I would say your purpose is how the energy through which you're expressing your essence. In this season of life, the authentic code is the. The more foundational structures through which you express your purpose. So part of my purpose in this season is this curiosity, this joy, and also leading people through transition that just feel so like me being grounded and expressing my voice through the vehicle of helping transformation, helping people go from point A to point B or have reflection from point A to point B. Like, that feels so correct for how I want to express and how I want to take through. I see it when I talk to my friends, I'm always like, tell me this. Let's learn about this. I want to deep dive on this subject and then get takeaways and then share those takeaways. Like, that energy cycle feels so, so good for me. I see it happen in work. I see it happen on our team. I see it in so many different ways. So in this season, my energy and my purpose is so tied to that. That's one aspect. There can be many aspects to your gifts and purpose, but that's one that feels very true. And when I look at my authentic code. So this year for me, it's creative visions and world building, innovation and visionary architecture. Like architecting how something is put together. I develop all the challenges and all of that. So putting those workshops, architecting what the series is that we're going to take people on the journey. We take people on all of that stuff. Home and beauty, and then wonder magic and collective wisdom. So in that you can even see, okay, so wonder, magic, collective wisdom, that's where I'm, like, learning the thing. I'm understanding the home and beauty is, like, regulating me. I'm getting inspired. Okay, great. Now I can take that to creative vision and world building. I can take that to innovation and visionary architecture. And so you can kind of see how that purpose is being played out through many different themes of my authentic code, even within my home. And when I say beauty, I mean, like, enjoying the beauty of life, enjoying the clouds, the sunset, the nature. It's not, you know, makeup beauty. For some people, that might be, but that's just not my super passion. So even with home and beauty, I like to put mood boards together, see what different spaces feel good, get inspired by coffee shops or hotel lobbies and see the textures and feel them and then think about, okay, now how can we transform our space? To feel like our authentic expression of that space. So you can see that energy being expressed in different parts of the authentic code. They will feel similar. But I would say the authentic code are more spaces and places that you're gonna double down and direct your energy and your energy of what lights you up and how your energy wants to be used is more so your purpose and soul's essence, especially just for this season. Okay, what is the difference between settling and staying committed, MG person? So I'm thinking this is a manifesting generator. Settling is continuing on repeating a toxic pattern or cycle that you have repeated in the past that you're trying to shift. That would be settling. So if you have dated a lot of emotionally avoidant and unavailable partners and you have another one that is presenting, that is almost everything on the list. But they're not really trying to work on it. They're not really aware that they have this and you decided to continue to date them anyways. That would be settling. Staying committed in that dynamic may look like you have been dating someone for a long time. You are just now aware that you have a pattern of dating people who are emotionally unavailable. And you bring this awareness to your partner and you share. I think that might be happening here. Can we look at this together and work through it and the both of you go to therapy or find tools or modalities to work through that issue? That would be, I guess, staying committed, but also with the understanding that you're both in service of the growth and healing that settling pattern. My gut is this person might be asking around career. And so I want to pull an example from that. Here's one question I would ask yourself is what has your pattern been in the past when it comes to am I settling by keeping this thing, or am I staying committed by finishing a project? So let's say you decided to work with a client. It doesn't super light you up, but your pattern is to always flake. Your pattern is to jump ship and cut them off and end the relationship early because it's just like too much to deal with the ambiguity of it. And you always kind of run from these sort of dynamics. Your lesson may be to sit with what's coming up here that you can work through and actually complete the project or the scope of work that you have with this client. If your pattern is you always stay on, you always take the grunt work, you always do things that you don't want to do for way too long, then your pattern would be to jump ship and to gracefully end the contract earlier. So I think the biggest thing in determining what is the correct way to navigate for you, whether that's a settling dynamic or needing to double down and commit to it for longer is really what your pattern typically is with those things and then doing the opposite. Okay, Best TBM resources for Making a decision so in this episode we talked a lot about how this year understanding our true essence answer to make decisions, to take the power back to making decisions has to come back to us. These are some tools that can help you get clarity there so we have an answers and clarity Deep imagining highly recommend that. Cause that gets you in that subconscious state so you can actually see like wait, this is what I want or this is what I think the answer should be or this is what I feel called to. The other thing would be our monthly check in workshop. Understand the patterns that are repeating that are at play and see where have you settled for this in the past. And then I would go into the authenticity challenge week five. We have a whole test protocol. It walks you through understanding all of those patterns. That is a great place for that decision. I have been getting a lot of pings on putting all of these decision maker type things together in the pathway as a little playlist in the daily practice. So if you guys would be interested in something like that, let me know and we can work on that for this year. Last two questions. 1. The grief and resentment that comes up when going through inner child or family dynamics or partner or work or career dynamics. Do not hide from or repress the resentment. Resentment and grief and anger are tools. And so some of the dis I'm going to point you to, we have our amazing resentment DI with Janome. We have the conflict di, the feel your feelings di plus journaling with the binaural beats. I would give yourself a lot of space and compassion to feel anything you want to feel there. Especially if you can't do it in the di. I would do it in a journaling practice where you allow a completely unfiltered this is what I'm mad about. This is what I hate. I'm so angry about this. I can't believe they did this. Like, let it out, get it out of the brain and get it down to paper. Because you can actually process and start closing some of those loops down there. Get all of that out. Even if you take the notebook and burn it and throw it away, throw away the piece of paper after. Do not censor yourself and get every feeling out there. Because until you let that part of you that is harboring that resentment and that anger and that grief unless they fully express and feel safe to fully express. Even if you're like, I don't even agree with half the things this part is saying, let it rip, let them go. It will be so cathartic for you to just get that out so you can start to see clearly and contextualize the situation in a different way. Especially if this is resentment or grief towards a parent. Keep that journaling. Practice resentment, di conflict, di feel your feelings, validation di anything that you can, just say, it's okay, you're safe to feel it. I understand. And just reparent that part as much as you can will be so key. Okay, and then last question I got was about my experience with the Return to Magic Challenge and what's been coming up for me. So I think I talked about this probably in some of the episodes in December, but the main theme I was taking through was releasing control. I think I talked about it maybe in the live call, and it came up so much. Like all of the tiny ways I was trying to source control, how it made me feel safe, even in how I wanted to, like, clean my house, it was sourcing control. And so one of the things I've really worked on is in this challenge is regulating my nervous system to when I have moments of perceived lack of control, Can I still find safety when the house feels like a mess and I feel like I'm like, I can't deal with it. It's free. I'm freaking out. You know, this is a silly issue, but it's one example of what that can look like. Instead of my automatic response, which is like, take care of it, clean it up, do all the stuff to make it feel better, get rid of the discomfort I feel by it not feeling clean and orderly. Can I sit with that discomfort for a minute and source that safety, source that feeling of autonomy and control within and say, okay, I can't control the external, but how can I control how I feel in this moment? How can I change my energy in this moment? And that is so much of what I took through every single phase of the challenge. And it. I mean, I'm still going back through it again. I think I said this on my stories, but I went through it very quickly. Massive unlocks on so many levels. And now this January, I did the manifestation ritual over break, which was so eye opening and so helpful to just get clarity of things. And now in the new year, I'm taking each phase of the Return to Magic Challenge, giving each One a full week to really sit with. Especially as we usher towards this new paradigm era, towards the horse year. All of that in mid February. I'm really giving it time to sit with it and letting any other things that want to come up come up and be felt and just radical accountability. Yes, but it's more so I'm not hiding from the things that I may have been scared to face before. I'm going into them with eyes wide open and willing to sit with the big feelings that maybe I've been pushing down or stuffing down for a while in certain areas. And it feels so liberating. And I feel so optimistic for this year. And again, not because it's going to be a perfect year, but because I know that I can meet myself. I know I can meet the challenge. I know I can meet the growth edge with a lot more ease and compassion and self love than ever before. So wherever you guys are starting this year, or maybe you're listening to this and it's not even the new year anymore, but these energetics still apply. I just want you to truly take away the ability to give yourself grace, the ability to listen to the slow present things that are presenting and the ability to push yourself further than you think you can. And holding both of those at the same time is hard. It almost feels like tug of war between the two. But it's this beautiful dance with pushing growth edge and then pulling back and releasing and processing and then pushing growth edge and coming back and releasing and processing. And the dance and the swimming between the two I think is going to be such a massive remedy and support system for us as we navigate major things this year. There is so much more magic that is possible in this next year than you may even perceive or give yourself credit for or even be able to understand in this moment. And the way to connect with it is in those little micro moments and choosing the things for the highest you with your empowered no. To be able to be in your empowered choice, to discern for yourself, to connect to your safety, to take your power back in the biggest way that will be your through line. We are extending our new Year's sale. It is now closing on January 11th at midnight PST. So if you have been thinking about joining TBM, trust me, I will be holding your freaking hand this entire year with these tools, with new tools, through this work. To really come back to self, to come back to that empowered choice, to manifest the things that we feel our soul is guiding us to, that maybe even our mind isn't even ready to understand yet. Step into the bigness of this year and join us. You can get your first month for $12. After that, you get the full sale price. It's our literally best, best sale we've ever done. One of our best sales we've ever done. And I just want you guys to come in and enjoy the work and the transformation and that feeling of just coming home to you. You so, so, so deserve it. Wishing you all a beautiful year. Sam.