← EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
Ep. 400 - How to Regulate Your Nervous System to Hold More Abundance
01:12:37
You’re fine…so why do you feel stuck? Where is the fear coming from, even when you know you’re safe? The truth is, lasting change requires more than mindset work alone. It means training your nervous system to build new associations with things that once felt uncertain or threatening. Today, Lacy, Jessica, and somatic expert Janelle unpack the true role of the nervous system in manifestation. They explore how your body's sense of safety determines when to shut down and protect you from potential threats—and when to expand, receive, and take aligned action towards your goals. Plus, the small, doable steps ("small steppies") that lead you back to yourself. If you've ever felt stuck despite doing all the inner work, this episode is your roadmap back to safety, embodiment, and sustainable growth. Want to know where you stand with your nervous system? Take our free Nervous System Quiz and check the show notes for more DIs and resources inside the Pathway membership. Find the compl...
Loading summary
Transcript124 lines
- [00:00]
Jessica
So nervous system regulation being so in tandem with manifestation, high self worth is
- [00:07]
Janelle
being able to have rest and have play.
- [00:12]
Lacy
Whoa. Where's everything else playing into my nervous system that maybe doesn't need to be there?
- [00:21]
Host/Announcer
How to regulate your nervous system to hold more abundance We've been talking a lot about nervous system regulation here at tbm, especially in the last month or so, partially because it's really your entry point to begin to manifest. You can't renegotiate your trauma, unblock your blocks to the deepest ability. If you can't regulate, you can't hold expansion and see expanders and find expansive moments in life around you. If you can't regulate, you can't take aligned action on the things that you know you deeply want to take action on. You can't set boundaries on the things that you want to set boundaries on. You can't stop yourself from those old familiar patterns that are keeping you small. If you don't know how to regulate. When you expand your capacity to hold and metabolize more of the challenging emotions and simultaneously more of the positive ones, that is when you can expand your window to manifest even more abundance, love, money, relationships, sensations of self, love and worthiness truly deep within you. So as a team, we launched a new fun tool that can really help start this process of expanding your window of tolerance when it comes to your nervous system. We have a seven day nervous system reset launching on Monday, March 30th, where we are walking you through seven brand new deep imaginings specifically curated to work with your nervous system, to pull at your energy, to somatically release from your body, to clear your mind, to get out of fight or flight, to get out of freezer fawn, to get out of stress that by the end of these seven days you'll be able to intuitively connect to what your intuition is saying, what guidance you need, and to even start developing your intuitive senses even more. More just by attuning to your five senses. I am so excited for this. I can't even begin to tell you guys. I have been working alongside Janelle and Lacy and the team developing these tools and getting to test them out and work through them and you know, refine the scripts and the techniques and everything in there. And it is the best entry point for your nervous system because one thing I think is confused with nervous system work a lot is that, you know, it's like a one time fix or like you regulated it once and now you're good to go. Your nervous system is constantly moving up and down this ladder of activation. And that's normal and it should do that. But nervous system regulation is being able to move up and down that ladder with more ease to not get stuck at one end or the other. Something that Lacy and Janelle and I are going to talk about in this episode today. But wherever you're at right now, just check in with how you're feeling in your body, how you're feeling in your mind, how you're feeling in your soul, what is your energy level at, what is your openness level at? And are there moments throughout the day that you don't have access to a great level of openness? You feel stuck or constricted or in that fight or flight when you're dysregulated, you're feeling brain fogged, you could be feeling super fatigued, you could be shut down, you could be feeling really angry and antsy, you could be feeling that urgency, you could be self sabotaging. You know, there's so many ways that our, our nervous system getting stuck in one of those modes and that dysregulation self sabotages us. So just start to become acutely aware of when this is happening. And then next week, starting Monday, join us as a community. We're going through day by day. I'm telling you the most short digest,
- [04:22]
Jessica
digestible DI's five to ten minutes max each.
- [04:25]
Host/Announcer
And we're going to chip away at that nervous system tension bit by bit and take note of which ones do what to your body and what state you go into them at. Are you in a more shutdown state and you're needing slow activation? If you are in a more anxious state or urgent state, do you need more, you know, movement release and then slow down at the end. So really listen to what you need in there. Make, make them your own, listen to them where you feel called. Fit them into your workday, into your schedule. I know I'm doing mine in between meetings or on a walk. I'm just noticing where I can use it as a little pick me up to really refine my energy throughout the day. So I am feeling my best and I can come back to baseline. We also are announcing we never do this actually at this time of year, but we wanted to do a little
- [05:16]
Jessica
spring sale for you guys so you
- [05:18]
Host/Announcer
can join the pathway membership. This seven day nervous system reset will
- [05:21]
Jessica
be available exclusively in the pathway.
- [05:23]
Host/Announcer
So if you're a pathway member, you can access it in there. Be sure to check if you're up for renewals cause then you can continue to get access to it. And we have a sale going on where you can join the membership for $23 a month from now until April 5th. So if you guys have been wanting to become a member, if this reset is speaking to you, if you are wanting to start your manifestation process, now is a really good time to Jo. We're also gearing up for our mid year challenge which we'll be announcing probably in the next couple weeks or so and that will come out in June. So if you want to get in with a sale rate beforehand, highly recommend joining now. I can't wait to see you guys in there. This is the medicine that I need right now, personally. Just a ground with so much going on, so much in the world, so much franticness like how do I find my center? Because that from that place of my center I know I am truly, truly in the best state where I can trust the most, I can surrender the most. I can really believe in myself and
- [06:23]
Jessica
my self worth and value.
- [06:24]
Host/Announcer
And all of the things come from sitting in the seat of my higher self in that regulated space. So come join us and today's episode we're diving into all things nervous system with Lacy and Janelle. Very nuanced conversation, especially so pertinent in this time of technology. Enjoy. And now a word from our partners. I have been in a season where I am finding little ways to upgrade my home and the comforts around me in order to help support my nervous system. We've talked about it on expanded podcasts before, but little things like beauty or comfort around you can signal to your brain that you can go into the rest and digestate and actually enhance your living experience. And two ways I've done that is with Cozy Earth's new socks and comforter socks. Because I am constantly in socks in my house. We have hardwood in a lot of different areas and just having the support of socks. My feet also get really cold. I wear socks at night and it's just such a part of my day. So having ones that are so soft, breathable, a fabric I can wear around when I'm on my hikes around the home, is non negotiable and this feels like the perfect breathable cushion sock. And secondly, we got ourselves a new comforter because I really loved the feeling when you go into a hotel and you pull back the sheets and you tuck in and you just feel so cocooned by your bedding. It was really time to invest in a comforter that was going to not only keep us warm but not have us overheat throughout the night. And that is what Cozy Earth does so well. All of their materials are so breathable, temperature regulating and you get a cloud like comfort without overheating, something my partner especially really appreciates while sleeping. So now every time I put on my new socks or I hop in bed with a new comforter, I'm reminded of this level of comfort and support that immediately starts to regulate my nervous system. Cozier's mission is to elevate every day by showing the craft behind every single piece. They're obsessive with the details and make sure that there's comfort in every moment. So much so that they offer a 10 year warranty because their products are truly meant to last and 100 night sleep trial, which means you can return it if you're not satisfied. But trust me, you will not want to let this go. If you want to try Cozy Earth's incredible quality products that are going to bring new comfort and beauty into your home, you can head to cozyearth.com and use code TBMALLCAPS for up to 20% off. Again, that's code TBMA ALL CAPS for 20% off. You can go to cozeros.com or check the link in the show notes. And if you get a post purchase survey, be sure to mention you heard it from the expanded podcast, experience the craft behind the comfort and make every day feel intentional. And now onto the episode.
- [09:31]
Jessica
Okay, we are recording this, the week of eclipses, which anytime there's eclipse, feel free to come back here. Anytime you're in a period of a lot of tests and triggers, this is
- [09:42]
Host/Announcer
going to be the episode for you guys.
- [09:43]
Jessica
So nervous system regulation being so in tandem with manifestation and really Janelle, it wasn't until I want to say like three or four years ago when we started working on the challenges together. And like the first week of the challenge would always be some sort of nervous system regulation tool. And then from working with you, we added nervous system regulation tools in the top of all of our deep imaginings because there was this missing piece, I think for people to really fully unblock, to expand, to take aligned action. And it was their nervous system. One of our most popular episodes still to date is one about self sabotage. And the nervous system is self sabotage because your body is like, whoa, whoa. This is unfamiliar. I don't feel safe. Let me go back to these old coping ways to like find safety and old familiar patterns. But those aren't the patterns of your highest self. Like we talk about forging new neural pathways in your brain of high self worth, of positive belief. But it's also a process of forging a new felt relationship to your body and to your nervous system as you unblock and peel back layers.
- [10:52]
Host/Announcer
So welcome Janelle and Lacey.
- [10:54]
Jessica
But I'm so excited and this is so needed right now for so many people.
- [10:59]
Lacy
I feel like I really want a name for anybody super psychic out there. We've been talking about it as a brand for so long. We have the speaking tour New Paradigm out right now where we talk about it, you know, at depth with Jenna. It's inside of the pathway from our speaking tour. But I just really want to say that I know this happens for me right when I'm about to fall asleep at night, that I get this feeling like, oh, no, the rug's gonna be pulled out at any moment. And it's coming from nowhere in my life. I'm actually in deep peace. What I'm picking up on is collective energy. Whoa. What's coming next? What's happening next? And it's not coming from a place of understanding all of the changes that are happening energetically. It's. It's a felt sense. So I also just really wanna put that into people's awareness. If you've been having that sort of acute worry or anxiety that you can't name and you don't understand where it's coming from, these tools are going to be very applicable for that.
- [11:59]
Jessica
Janelle, From a somatics perspective, when people hear nervous system regulation, you need to regulate your nervous system in order to manifest or to get to your next level or you don't have a. A business problem, you have a nervous system problem. All of those things are true, but I think a lot of people are kind of looking at it like, great, so what's the quick fix? And kind of describe the role that the nervous system plays and what. By the end of this episode, you guys will have a very clear path of what to do to fix it. But it's not exactly what you think.
- [12:31]
Janelle
I think the biggest misunderstanding about the nervous system is that a regulated nervous system is like, Zen all the time. And I'm like, sounds great, but that's actually not what a regulated nervous system is. A regulated nervous system, if you think of, like a ladder and let's say the sympathetic charge, meaning fight or flight's at the top, so rest and digest is at the bottom. A regulated nervous system is somebody that is able to go up and down that ladder with ease and they don't stay stuck in one spot when something big Happens, they're able to move out of that with ease. And so when people have a stuck nervous system, it's like their foot is just literally stuck on the gas or stuck on the brake. And so mentally, they might have the cognitive awareness of, like, what's happening, but their body isn't following. And so going back to what you were saying about why. Why this is in the dis, you know, the start of the DI's is because. Don't skip those, because they're so important to help your nervous system adjust to soften so that when you go into the dis, you are able to renegotiate the trauma or the things that are coming up for you in the dis. So if you just kind of cognitively go in and just replay it in your mind, you're not going to have as much as profound an effect versus when you take the time to do all the little silly things, to feel silly. Yeah, the booze, the movement, it helps you soften in. And so I feel like even, like, the neurochemist chemistry of your brain, like, is able to open, and then you're able to drop in deeper to clear out and reprogram whatever you need to reprogram.
- [14:27]
Jessica
So good. Lacy, did you have something coming through? I was like, I bet she's channeling right now.
- [14:31]
Lacy
Well, you know, I think I kind of just want to make this. How do I say this? Like, I want to bold this text in a way where I was seeing, like, especially, you know, with a lot of political stuff going on. I remember seeing this thing pop up on Substack where this woman was like, if you get your regulating information from someone who's always like, regulate, regulate, you need to find a new. It was, like, very aggressive. You need to find a new source. And she's, like, jumping aggressively and doing, you know, like, the clear things we'll talk about in this. But I think you just made a really eloquent point about it's not about being Zen all the time, and it's also not about being aggro. In fact, it seems like the true regulation is being able to oscillate with more ease each time, because essentially, what you are saying and what I think I know to be true is anything that's dysregulating. Our nervous system, of course, isn't just the event happening in front of us, which could be very triggering or altering or extreme. It's actually its connection to what we've experienced in the past, and it's our relationship with that. So I'LL let you take it from there. But that's just something that sort of came to mind when these conversations can sound not redundant, but. Yeah, it's just there are a lot of people out there right now talking about regulation and nervous system. And I think if we can all really distill this point that you had just made, I think that's, it's a real takeaway.
- [15:57]
Jessica
And it's really not about. Not about the calm, but it's also about when you are able to oscillate up and down that ladder more fluidly, your capacity can expand. What you can tolerate, the amount of good in your life can expand. If you have a dysregulating obstacle in your life, you can face it with a lot more resilience, a lot more ease, a lot more of the ability
- [16:23]
Host/Announcer
to see the silver lining.
- [16:25]
Jessica
This is where really the TBM work is that like. I think it's a dahlia. It blooms by blooming, contracting, blooming, contracting, blooming, contracting, and then it's fully open. That's kind of the ideal state in working through manifestation work is that you're growing and then growing and coming back and releasing a little bit over time, maybe shedding some of those outer leaves, you know. So it's not just that you get in this state and you can move through tests and triggers, which is great,
- [16:56]
Host/Announcer
but also you can hold more of the goodness.
- [17:00]
Jessica
Have you guys read the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks? He talks about it's really a glass ceiling, but he talks about the upper limit problem and how our nervous systems have perceived stopping point of how much good we allow in our lives. And without fail, we subconsciously start acting against it. So, you know, the relationship is good. But if it's too good, then we don't even realize it. But then we start picking fights. It's just these little tiny ways that we start to self sabotage ourselves. And really it's just our nervous system saying everything's too good. We need to find the problem because the goodness is going to go away.
- [17:40]
Janelle
Yeah, you're naming. So in somatic experiencing is called energy wells. And so like that dahlia example is like absolutely perfect. And so the goal is to be able to kind of in your. It's exactly like that. We, if we have like a small energy, well, to be able to really in the simplest terms hold feelings, good, bad, any of it. What is our capacity to be with feelings? And not just feelings, but also sensation in our body? Even when you're in a di. You're kind of like Actually you're, you're trying to expand your energy well and then you need to rest and take a break and then you go back again and you expand your energy well and do a little bit more and then you go back and then you do more. And so the, the goal is to be able to be fully alive and fully human and experience the whole spectrum of being able to be with it all and not again, not get stuck in one of those ends or both be stuck both on or off.
- [18:36]
Jessica
Let's get into some of the examples of what it looks like on either end. And I'm going to go through some common patterns we're seeing, come up with our community. So one that we see a lot is like our, our frozen visionary, someone who's stuck at that upper limit problem. They're, they're at their nervous system's glass ceiling. They know what they want to do. They're clear on their goals, they're clear on their manifestations, they're clear on their aligned action, but they're just not doing it or they're not doing it consistently or they're doing it, but they're doing it from fear and perfectionism. They're not doing it from ease and joy and abundance. Like they can't just turn off the part of them that's like rattled inside. So we see this a lot when people are trying to get to that next level. When they also first start, a lot of people will get here because they'll be like, yes, you know, hit the races, let's go. I found my expanders. Maybe the mini manifestation came through. There's so much momentum, but then that old limiting pattern comes up and they just feel like they can't break through the other way this kind of comes up is I see people repeat patterns. They get so far in relationship, they haven't settled, they pass all the tests and then somehow they just end up in that old dynamic again. And they've grown in so many ways. But then there they are in that old dynamic again and they're, they're really questioning. And I have so much empathy and I've definitely been this person in different chapters, but I have so much empathy because you kind of are left questioning like, what the fuck is wrong with me? I like feel good enough, but like,
- [20:15]
Host/Announcer
why can't I do this?
- [20:16]
Jessica
This shouldn't be this hard. What is going on for that person?
- [20:22]
Janelle
A couple things. One is that like almost like a rubber band theory. So if somebody pushes way too hard, way too kind of past their capacity, it's almost like they're a rubber band where they go out and they snap right back and then they're kind of dead a little bit. And this is really. I love it. It's cheesy. But my friend. My friend Natalie said this recently, and it stuck with me, but. And she's a somatic experiencing practitioner, and she says small steppy is better than no steppy. And it's stuck. And it's stuck. But it's like, yes, small steppy is better than no steppy. So those that are taking a line action and they just went for it and now they're just dead. And they're just like, whoa, go back to a small steppy. And you want to, like, titrate and keep going. And then after you do the small step, rest and then small step B again. Because small step E is better than no step either.
- [21:21]
Lacy
Well, there's also. I see this. I know you're talking about Jessica, and maybe I'm. I'm like, I just am thinking about quite a few people I know who start the work and they have sort of like the pink cloud. They're like taking the aligned action they're doing. And I know what you guys mean. It's like too much too quickly. But then even there are some people I know that like, go at it small step, but they cannot get past that block. Is this a nervous system thing?
- [21:48]
Janelle
It can be. So there's something in somatic experiencing called over coupling. Or also somebody can be under coupled. So, for example, someone that wants to be seen, and they are like, they've done all the unblocking. They know exactly what to do, and they want to take the small step E. But then what happens is they're somewhere along in their history, their nervous system got over coupled with being seen is not safe or whatever. Whatever there was, there was something that got coupled with it. And so even though mentally they've unblocked and they are very clear, their body is like, nope, not today. Not gonna do it. Another common one you see. I feel like I see this in my practice a lot is people that really want a healthy sexuality, and yet they grew up in purity culture or some. There's some wound there. And they're coupled with a lot of shame. So mentally they're like, yeah. And their body's like, no. So that is a process to uncouple those different things. Once the body feels safe or whatever the. Whatever the coupling was, when the body feels safe, then all of that unblocking on the mental level and the body can combine and you can really move forward in safety.
- [23:06]
Jessica
So huge. I mean, I think this is really so key for people to hear who have felt like they have unblocked so
- [23:14]
Host/Announcer
much and can't break through to that
- [23:15]
Jessica
next level that so much of your work now is getting your body on board, even when you're going through the DI's. And this is why, like, even the return to magic is so key for people, because there's so many somatic practices in those DI's. You are getting held, eye contact, rocked, like all of these things that you're physically feeling, sensations in your body, all of that, that is going to be the work when you think about whatever that thing is. So for you, if that's sexuality or visibility or whatever, like, okay, think about that thing now let's talk to the body. Let's start to like open up in that unblocking. And instead of like very linear base reprogramming, it's the somatic reprogramming in those DI's, right? Self awareness without regulation can become self sabotage. So it's like you can be so aware, clear, I've got this. The confidence is there and then you can't regulate and then all of a sudden you're not taking the small steppy. You're not, you know, moving forward. You're not doing small step. He's going to be the icon of this episode now. But it's so true. It's so true. I mean, I literally experienced this launching my YouTube. I put so much energy and emphasis in that first edit and I was like, yes. And then I haven't posted another one for like six months and I'm like, I need to go back to small stepi again. Like, I'm thinking way too grandiose. I need to let the practice be fun again. Because in my mental, I'm so clear. I know that this has been on my pings list. Like, I know I want to create in this way, but my body is
- [25:00]
Host/Announcer
like, like, don't do it.
- [25:02]
Jessica
And so I'm in the practice of
- [25:04]
Host/Announcer
getting my body comfortable.
- [25:06]
Janelle
And to be fair, I'm like, for those that are like, their nervous systems are regulated and they want to take a bunch of actionable steps and like, go for it. We're talking about people where there's. There's a deeper, like kind of confusing block of why am I not able to do that? That's who the small steppy is for, you know? But if you're regulated and you're passing tests and it's you're. You're in your body then. Awesome.
- [25:28]
Lacy
Well, I, I think it's worth noting a little bit deeper too because I think that was such a good example where. Especially pertaining to manifestation and I think where things are going in the new paradigm, astrologically, this new terrain we're in is so special. But even how you talked about Jessica, like it's on my pings list, I know I need to do it and going way too big instead of step by step by step. I guess I just want to serve as an expander to anybody out there that's starting to feel, they're starting to feel really on point with their authenticity. Right. I feel that about myself. And it's like here's a nervous. And this is the same topic, but here's a nervous system conversation I want to have in this is how can we get regulated enough that we can only make choices and alignment without any big pressure, fear, all that stuff behind it. And I know this is a visibility conversation. I know it's a much bigger conversation, but it might also not be. So I guess that's something. I mean I'm, I'm speaking very lofty right now. But to distill it down, I think the place where people are going to feel the happiest right now and the most peaceful and the most regulated, like able to go up and down what life is giving us is going to be living in ways that feel tremendously authentic to ourselves. Right. Not record breaking there. That's all we ever talk about. But I mean, is there a way to take the small steppes and the big steppies and I guess that's what we're getting to that are less pressurized, right? Because like Jessica, when you were launching that or the somebody here who's listening and they're like, I need to quit my job and I need to do the thing right, you know, whatever. When you were starting the YouTube, you're like, I'm this thing at TBM and I have these ideas and I need to show. And you're like, but no, it's just creativity. So I'm just gonna put it out there, but I'm gonna do it with all my cap energy. And it's like, yeah, how do we get right to the middle? How do we cut through all of that? And that's I guess the bigger conversation. Even though we have a lot to talk about in this nervous system thing. But is there something you think on that or you have thoughts on towards that Chanel? Because that's where we all really just need to speed up to.
- [27:50]
Janelle
Yeah. I mean, it's so hard because we all have such different trauma histories and developmental histories. And so you were talking a little bit about this before we started today, but developmental trauma, what happened to you when you were developing and your nervous system was developing, impacts how you are today. And so no one was dealt the same deck. And we all have very different backgrounds. And so somebody. That's right. Coming into this work, they might be. It's interesting. They might be actually in a freeze. And so they feel very Zen, but their nervous system is actually not online. And because they're like. They never get angry, Right? So it's like we all are coming from such different places and have done different levels of work. And so there's some people that they essentially. Let me just speak to this with trauma, when we go through an unwanted event, I'm not going even call it trauma, an unwanted event, because there's. Sometimes we all even have, like, explicit trauma and implicit trauma. We have stuff that is impacted our nervous systems that we don't even remember doing. Somatic experiencing work means that you go back into an event and you let your nervous system complete all the different things that it didn't get to complete. Maybe there was a fight response that you didn't get to have. Maybe there was a flight response that you. That you wanted to, but you couldn't get away. Right. Especially for, like, chronic trauma, let's say somebody had a difficult parent and they couldn't get away from them. So there's all these different kind of things that happen. So to get to your point, Lacy, it's like, yes, that's our goal. We all want these beautiful big energy wells to be able to be full of life and to feel regulated in the face of fear and all these things that we all can get to. I really believe we all can get to it.
- [29:43]
Jessica
And it.
- [29:43]
Janelle
It isn't fair. We all have very different places of where we're coming from with this. You know, just. Just to be able to say, like, some people are coming in this work and their work is to do. I feel like I've had this a lot recently, but. And this is so classic with women. Like, women that are, like, they wouldn't be good if they were to be assertive or to have a fight response or anger. They feel very sen. But their particular work of unblocking is to get more comfortable in their fight response. And there's lots of cool things you can do to kind of get in touch with that to play to help your nervous system slowly titrate, to become online so that you find your voice and you feel regulated and you can feel strong and you know that you have access to be able to be assertive, appropriately assertive, or in a fight response when you need to be. Right. So there's some people that, that's their line of work. And then there's other people that are coming from a dysregulated spot and their work is the opposite, right? And that's where like the regulation dis. And these new ones too can help, where they're learning how to. They just go, you know, they go to a 10 really quickly, like a trigger happens and they go 0 to 10. And so their work is to kind of come down the ladder, you know, so we're all coming from different places, but yes, that's the goal, Lacey, like 100%.
- [31:13]
Host/Announcer
I am going to give you a massive beauty hack that a lot of people don't talk about. Our stress, our tension, our unprocessed emotions show up on our face, our clenched jaw, our forward brow, overstimulated nervous system. Oftentimes we don't even realize we're doing it. But the more I've created space to feel my feelings and actually feel intentional into my face, into softening my jaw, my eyes, my skin, my. My face transforms. And one of my absolute favorite products for doing this is the Bond Charge red light face mask. It's become one of my favorite ways to signal safety into my face and into my system and supporting my skin
- [31:52]
Jessica
at a cellular level.
- [31:54]
Host/Announcer
Bon Charge is red light mask uses red and near infrared light, which has been studied for its ability to support collagen production, skin repair, circulation, cellular energy, really bringing new life, new energy, new felt sense to your face which makes you glow. So whether I use it at night to unwind, I usually pair it with a little deep imagining or some TBM work and I can fully allow my body to relax and get the nutrients from the red light it needs. And with so many red light devices on the market, I trust Bon Charge implicitly.
- [32:27]
Jessica
They are so science backed, they rigorously
- [32:30]
Host/Announcer
study and have the highest quality, lowest emf, best quality red light in all of their products. In fact, they were even awarded the winner of the beauty Shortlist awards. If you're curious about supporting your skin and glowing from the inside out, check out Boncharge's red light face mask@boncharge.com and use code magnetic all caps M A G N A T I C for 15 off your order again, that's boncharge.com. check the link in the show notes and put in code magnetic all capsmagnetic for 15 off.
- [33:09]
Lacy
Okay. I just got a lot more clarity. I'm knitting while I do this. I can't help it, guys. And it is my authentic self. So I hope anybody who's actually watching this isn't, like, disturbed by it. But if this is actually extremely regulating for me. And in fact, on podcasts, because often I'm channeling, I leave my body so much that I'm so exhausted after recording that this is something that really helps me stay here and that I can, like, have a good day going up and down that ladder with being without being fully adrenally depleted. But as you were talking, I got so much more clarity of what I was actually really trying to ask. And what I was really trying to ask was this is something that was on my mind prior to the episode because it's very much the space I'm in. Let's talk about nervous system overstimulation. And basically to really round that out is we are living so not in alignment with how we. We were intended to live as animals and humans. Right? My biggest question in this conversation is how much of the overstimulation is contributing to our inability to just get there quicker? Like what I was basically trying to ask how much of it is. Because if we were just having to. And it's not just because we all, like you were saying, have dealt with different levels of trauma. Implicit, explicit. We have the phone, we have being in cities, we have the car, we have. I mean, every fucking digital thing in our household. The hum of the electricity. Anyways, these are. This is a really bigger philosophical conversation. But I remember when I took my Vedic meditation training 10 years ago, and I remember the teacher saying that in a day we experienced the stimulation, overstimulation that we would experience in 200 years. We experience in one day. And that was 10 years ago. So how much of that is auto nervous system regulation component fucking with how quickly we get aligned and manifest beyond all of this renegotiation of trauma. Curious your thoughts on that, Janelle?
- [35:16]
Janelle
I feel like we all, like, in our. All of our intuitive wisdom, know that. We all know that. And we're all kind of trying to, like, live in this modern world and hack that somehow. Like, I have incandescent lights and candles on at night, right? Like, I'm still bringing it. Like, Elise, you do so many cool things that everyone would love to hear about, and I'm Like, I know that if I'm not in nature often enough, like, I get weird. There's some beautiful hikes here that I like regularly doing. And so, like, where I can't see any. Any person.
- [35:49]
Jessica
Right.
- [35:49]
Janelle
And I'm only. And it's like I come out of that so regulated. So, yes, it makes a huge difference.
- [35:55]
Lacy
And Jessica, for you, you even, you live a little bit removed, but you're still in the city. And you're the one who's like, interfacing so deeply with our community and beyond just all that overstimulation, it's just so much hitting us at all times. To put that back on you, Jessica, who's a very practical person in the sense of distilling and making things, where does that all fall and how quickly someone can manifest? Because we're like chasing after these lives in these world, in this modern world that's just standing in the way of us and authenticity in the thing.
- [36:35]
Jessica
Yeah.
- [36:36]
Lacy
And not a lot of us have control over it.
- [36:38]
Host/Announcer
I.
- [36:39]
Jessica
Maybe this is an optimistic view, but I feel like your body gets the ick for what it's ready to release when it's ready to release it. So, for example, I am definitely way more in tuned with what's happening on social media with our community, let's say, than you are right, Lacey. And I'm so systematic about my energy this year that has been like such a big thing. And I'm like, I know I have to be on there, but how do be on there in the way that fuels me? Because I love responding to comments, answering dm, seeing what's going on, checking in with like, the broadcast channel, like, seeing how things are going on, like the TBM posts and the community connecting. Like, I do. It really does feel my cup watching that stuff. And I have to be so radically honest with myself the second that my brain just automatically goes to a scroll and like, checking what that is and how it's getting filtered in. And so this year it was a big question of like, okay, if I'm spending even one minute not doing the thing on there that I want to be doing, how can I prevent that? And thank God Cynthia introduced me to, like, the brick where you just lock your phone. I have a scheduled time. I go on my phone. I don't just open my phone all day long. It's not an option to do that. And I mean, people think I'm crazy when I talk about, like, locking my phone or the brick or whatever it is, what they have, like the opal, they have so many different brands right now. But the phones are designed to hijack our brains. They're designed to, you know, hijack our dopamine cycles, our willpower, all of that. So like you're not weak for saying I need to lock myself out of it so I don't result to choosing it. There's a reason people who are addicted to certain snack foods say I just don't buy them in the house because I can't control myself around them. Like there is no shame with saying that. In fact, I think it's really self aware that people are starting to wake up and realize I can't play a willpower game against this machine and device that's designed to keep me in a numbed out state of barely even. I mean think about a scroll. Like this is also I wanted to do YouTube because it's long form you're taking in. You're sitting with people for a moment and really having time with them versus what a 30 second video, a six second video. Do you retain any of that? Like what's happening there? You know, so this is a whole nother tirade.
- [38:59]
Lacy
But I think I know, but it is important to mention because, and I know people are subliminally aware of this, but I don't think when it comes to manifestation, how they see the connection
- [39:10]
Jessica
to how it's blocking them.
- [39:12]
Lacy
Yeah, and getting to your alignment quicker. There's so much noise and overstimulation that we're not having to just renegotiate our trauma, which is the key thing that's going to get us to our manifestation. We're having to like out, expand all this bullshit we're taking in while doing 10,000 practices to regulate, you know, how many would we have to really do on that ladder if we didn't have a lot of that? But that's not a realistic world. So anyways, it's just something that I thought is it's just worth having a little bit of a conversation around. Literally the new paradigm is requiring us to get radically honest with ourselves and where we're not is going to be stripped. And I love Jenna Zoe's approach to it because what she's really trying to teach on with people at this moment is like how to be an early adapter so it's not so destabilizing when it comes. And it's like within that as we're talking about nervous systems, this is a big conversation in it. And each of us are so individual. I'm in a, I'm a cave. I Think in human design, which means I could live in my house and being doing stupid all day. Am I? You know what I mean? Where some people are not that extremely extroverted, that's where they. Anyways, that's a deeper conversation. But I do think this is really worth acknowledging and starting to think on an individual level as we're learning these tools, as this all comes out, it's like, wait a second, beyond what I'm renegotiating in my life and blocks and trauma. Whoa. Where's everything else playing into my nervous system that maybe doesn't need to be there?
- [40:44]
Jessica
The thing that's interesting with this is the pattern of you grabbing the phone or the pattern of you getting immersed in the busyness of the city, or the overstimulation, or having the tech things in the home that have the buzzy or whatever. It is in some ways related to your nervous system response of not feeling safe in your body at the moment. It's looking for that external thing. They're not necessarily separate. If I notice the time that I'm on my phone more, it's because I'm avoiding the thing that's blocking me. You know what I mean? So if I just took that block head on, felt my feelings started regulating with it, I wouldn't necessarily be doing X, Y, Z. For some people that could be like watching Netflix on hours at end, binging shows for hours and hours. You will pick up the habits that are soothing you but not necessarily supporting you. And there's no shame in that. It's just becoming aware. And Janelle, curious your thought in getting out of it. So let's say someone's sitting there and they're like, oh my God, that's me. I have a whole list of things I do when I'm dysregulated that I don't like. They're habits I want to change. What is the first path for getting them away from those habits or behaviors? Because right now it feels like death to release those old habits because they're using it to protect their nervous system. So what would be one thing that they could just even start doing after this episode today to start to move towards the direction of the habits that help them?
- [42:15]
Lacy
I mean, we're gonna go back to
- [42:17]
Janelle
small steppy guys
- [42:20]
Lacy
now we see how it's applicable.
- [42:21]
Jessica
Great.
- [42:22]
Lacy
I mean, like, honestly, it's so cool,
- [42:24]
Janelle
Jessica, that you're doing that with the brick. I mean, I love it. And that is such high self worth energy right there. And it's such good personal boundaries. It's like, oh, awesome. And if, you know, if getting doing that for a weekend feels too much, can you start by just turning it off at, I don't know, eight at night or something like that? You know, can you just, can you just do a little tiny bit and just start there? If, you know, if it really feels too threatening to do too much. I mean, it's so basic, but truly that's where you start.
- [42:55]
Jessica
And I think simultaneously, you know, if you look at like atomic habits, the habit replacement. So like one habit that I shifted last year, which it's like mind boggling how much it up leveled and allowed things to come in by changing this. But having my phone out of the bedroom so I had no option to check first thing in the morning or last thing at night. That was my one steppie. Just remove the phone from the room, have a physical barrier from having to check it. And I'm not kidding you, I felt in so much more flow, so much more ease. It shifted so much, so quickly for me that I was like, this is insane. Like, why was I even. And then I saw the stakes afterwards. I was like, wow, I would have never made that choice again. But now I know I had to also do it from a place of not shaming myself, that I was bad or wrong or less than or not good enough or a failure or, you know, whatever it was. Like, no, this makes sense why I'm doing this. But now that we know, what can we do to shift it? Having that compassion, curiosity with yourself as you're making new choices. And this archetype of like the chronic turned on mode, this is also what we found in our community too, where they're like, they're in chronic go, go, go mode. They don't know how to downregulate. This is someone who's like either a workaholic or a planaholic or a social aholic. They need to fill every empty space with something. What would you say for that person? And they could, this could show up as like, they only really know they have a problem when they start having hormone imbalances, digestive issues, maybe illnesses start to pop up because they've totally tuned out way even past the signs.
- [44:47]
Lacy
Wait, let's talk about how this, how this presents in manifestation, because I think this is a really big piece of the people who are so super magnetic, they take great aligned action, but they really don't ever sit with themselves to unblock. So it's like they can never really get that love they want. Or maybe love comes in easily. But that job just never hits or goes to the next level. Like, that's that person. And I'm glad we're. Yeah. I want to go through the archetypes. How does that show up in manifestation?
- [45:15]
Jessica
A hundred percent. It's also like a hyper vigilance that they might not even clock. They think it's empowered action, empowered alignment, which some of it may be, but they're missing the embodiment. They're missing reconnecting to their body again and attuning to it and feeling it and like actually letting the sensation come online. I had this with a friend yesterday. We did a little sound bath meditation. And I'm like going on a whole journey during the sound bath. Like, had the. I'm like talking to the land spirits. Like, it was like the best time. And I was like, how are you? And she goes, I have back pain now. And I was like, what happened? And she was like, I was like getting all these fears in my head and I didn't want to feel fear, so I kept pushing it down and was like, no, no. And like criticizing herself to like not go there and. But she thought based. And she does not do tbm, but she needs to. But she thought based off, like, you know, wellness culture, that if I sit with this bad feeling, it will beget more bad feeling. So as she was pushing it down, it literally gave her back pain. And I was like, like, if you just take 20 minutes and sit with the fear and be like, okay, fear, tell me, tell me your woes. Let's go through it. Where do I feel it in my body? That back pain will dissipate in no time, I promise you. So for this.
- [46:34]
Lacy
Well, she's so lucky you're her friend.
- [46:35]
Jessica
I know.
- [46:36]
Lacy
Yeah. She could super speed her life.
- [46:40]
Jessica
This is what we want for everyone, guys.
- [46:42]
Lacy
Yeah.
- [46:43]
Janelle
I mean, my thought with that back to the things being like over coupled or under coupled. I think this archetype is coupled with productivity and worth or it's not safe to rest. And so rest feels so threatening that they just go, go, go, go, go. And the dopamine high of always doing a line action and getting magnetism for it works. But like, ultimately this isn't high self worth. And so you're right that they. They're going to like lock at some level because high self worth is being able to have rest and have play. And so I'm like, something got coupled there. And there could be so many unique combinations of what that is that someone's just like that stuck on and they're the actually, ironically, the most magnetic thing they could do is to step back, like take a break from something or pause something or literally take a vacation. And if it feels too threatening to go for a week, go for a day. You know, I had maybe it was
- [47:49]
Jessica
two summer challenges ago that this was kind of a pattern I was working through with work where I was like, unable to, like, turn it off. And I started doing. I think it was our reset di, or maybe it was our fight or flight one. As an off ramp at the end, I'd set a timer of like, okay, this one, I'm done working. And I'd physically have to do an off ramp to just get my. All the activation, my body that wanted to channel it back into work, back into my body, so I could then walk away with high self worth and be like, okay, I did a good. You know, everything's done for the day. I'm good. But it was a practice of noticing and clocking. This is where I need to off ramp this energy. And I also imagine for this person, small nervous system windows where they can. We're gonna have this in the seven day playlist. But that titration or that pendulation, which one is it, Janelle? Where you, like, slowly metabolite. You don't have to flood the system with all the fear, but like a little bit step into the fear, a little bit come back.
- [48:47]
Janelle
Yeah, this pendulation right where you, like, lean into the uncomfortable feeling of whatever it is, and then you go back and then you lean in again and you go back and you're basically like expanding your little energy well, as you do that.
- [48:58]
Jessica
Okay, last one on here. This, I feel like, is when in no matter what's happening with your nervous system, this is like when you can't do it anymore. When you've, like lost your spark, you're stuck in survival. It feels like you're getting hit over the head. This is like the rock bottom moment for a lot of people. And also to your point, Lacy, I feel like a lot of people are feeling this right now because they're already in their own set of survival circumstances. And then the magnetism of the collective on top of them feels like this weight where people have reported feeling like hopeless emotional numbness, apathy, dorsal vagal shutdown. It's taking so much effort to just get through the day. Like, they cannot find their energy, their light, their excitement. This is also the person that doing a future self di or a dream life di feels stressful because they're Like, I have a challenge so far away from it. I can't even think about what I want right now because I can't even get out of bed.
- [50:01]
Lacy
Totally.
- [50:01]
Jessica
I also noticed people, some people may be stuck in this for a longer term, but I also notice people cycle through this even on like, a monthly basis. I'm sure women hormonally, like, there might be a time of the cycle that they might be more likely to get stuck in this. So what's going on with this person?
- [50:18]
Janelle
So the dorsal vagal shutdown. So basically, sometimes when things stack too much, like too much has happened, too many things, it's actually your nervous system's way to protect yourself. So, like, too many things happen, and it's almost like there's like an off button and it's just like. And shut down. It really is a protective state. And I feel a lot of compassion for anyone that's in this because it means, like, too much happened and it. You. Your body just basically got overwhelmed. And the DI that was coming to mind is the one. The. The freeze Fun. The GI that we did. It sounds almost counterintuitive. It's like you're shut down. We want to bring a bunch of energy and a bunch of action and kind of whatever. And that actually can be too flooding. You have to start with like, really like micro movements, which is why that DI was created just to do tiny little movements, like literally like wiggling your fingertips. There's a lot of touch that's. That's really good to kind of bring you back really, really gently online. And I would say with this one too, I'm like, if you're. Somebody's in this state too, I'm like, I would work with somebody even like a touch work, somatic experiencing practitioner would be so healing. Touch work is so great when you're in that state to kind of bring you back online. So it's kind of counterintuitive because it's really that micro movements and really micro things to kind of bring. Bring that person back.
- [51:49]
Host/Announcer
If you are going through the season, if you are feeling the intensity of things, if you are feeling scattered, if you are having trouble following through on the things that you know you want to do, the actions you want to take, but you just can't get yourself to do them. Or maybe you're just overwhelmed. So many things are coming at you at once and you're wondering, how are you going to metabolize all of that and move through it. It. We have our big spring sale going on right now. Where you can join our Pathway membership for only $23 a month and access all of the tools that will help you return to yourself. Not only do we have a library of 75 plus deep imagining audios, which is our proprietary self hypnosis audio that helps you regulate, helps you ground back into yourself and there are also a ton of them in there that help you unfold block, which is where you can overwrite old limiting beliefs into wands of high self worth. This is really where the magic shifts in your subconscious and the deep imaginings help you access your subconscious and overwrite the patterns that are keeping you stuck inside our Pathway membership, we also have 16 plus long form workshops if you want to go deeper in any one specific subject, like how to manifest inner child shadow. Ruth Rock bottom Money love. It's basically your one stop shop and tool that you can lean on no matter what you're going through, no matter what season to help take you from where you are to the more aligned, more authentic, more grounded, more magnetic. Next level. And now's the perfect time to join because we have our spring sale going on where you can access the pathway for only $23 a month instead of $30. It will be available from now until April 5th at midnight PST. And we're so excited to have you in there.
- [53:59]
Jessica
Okay, and now let's talk about what are some actual practices they can do to start regulating and what are your rituals or what are some other rituals someone can adapt so they can start contextualizing. Like how do I fit this into my life? It just feels so new and foreign I think to so many people to, you know, they understand what a meditation practice is. But what does it mean to have like a nervous system? Regulation practice, you know, it feels so different and varied and vague, but it's really a. Like you were saying, Lacy, like this is a sign of the times because people used to live in regulation with nature and seasons and the land. Like we didn't need to set aside time to do it the way we live, just did it.
- [54:38]
Lacy
They're like so regulating together all day long. Weaving, dipping like so many, you know, going to the well get, you know, it's like we live so out of sync of yeah, regulation.
- [54:49]
Janelle
This is just such an intuitive practice and they're there to be so supportive if you. And it's hard to assess, like, are you. Where are you on the ladder? Are you stuck on the ladder? Do you have small range on the ladder? Where are you? It can benefit anyone, but you can do this daily. And whenever it feels soothing and comforting to do or supportive to do, do it.
- [55:10]
Jessica
Yeah, I think, too, how I'm gonna, like, approach it and what we're thinking at the team. We have seven days. I'm gonna do one each day. They're five to seven minutes. So digestible, just so you can feel out different types, different ways. And then I'm sure there will be like two or three that I'm just like, this one really hits. And then I'm going to kind of figure out how to layer that into my regular daily routine and just plug and play. Like, even before this, I was doing the reset di. Even just the first five minutes before podcasts, after calls, whenever I was noticing too much come up, I'm like, okay, let's, like, empty out for a second. So I think just figuring out how to put it into your day in a way that makes sense and give yourself, like, a small window. Seven days, five minutes each day, just start the process of seeing what it feels like, and then you can figure out how much you need and where and when. And there are other practices on top of this. I do feel like when I do our TBM tools for regulation, I am more apt to do the more environmental ones, like my daily walk, spending time sitting in the sun in the morning, just naturally after, you know, big things, I'll just see myself doing, like, the physiological side. I'll just put on, like, a little breath detection from a DI in the car with Daniel when we're driving, when the highway gets crazy, you know, just stuff like that. Lacy, where do you fit in some of your other nervous system regulating tools?
- [56:43]
Lacy
I feel like, for the most part, call it privilege, for sure, but I. I had a very conscious series of events last year in the summer, like, late spring summer that made me go like, whoa, I need to go analog. My brain is atrophying on these devices all day, and I was numbing with them. You know, I was using them. I was using them for work, but it was really just the archetype, the first archetype that we were talking about. And so I started to make really conscious shifts in the day. And I went back to letter writing, knitting, dipping candles. And I really, like, I've taken every single app off my phone that's scrollable, every single one of them. There's no reason to really pick up my phone other than, you know, like, if I have to send a text or an email or whatever. And I'm, like, a notch away from only having a desktop in my office. No Phone, Nothing. I'm. I'm really curious about that. There's this. This mom in Topanga who only has email, and I'm like, this is. I'm curious, you know, I'm curious what that looks like. So I, Yeah, I've just really gotten back into and that question I posed. I've been philosophizing about that myself. We lived in a built in regulating life, you know, in small villages prior to all of this modern technology. We did, you know, before electricity, even things like if we pull it up that we're regulating just to give people examples. It was like even the wind and weather changes are regulating for people because, you know, sleeping in a tent outside where you're hearing the birdsong, you're hearing the animals, there's just so many pieces we are so incredibly disconnected from. But it was like, yeah, just shared meals. Being in regulation with women, we would be weaving together, we would be knitting together, dipping candles together, we would be storytelling together. That's a hugely regulating thing. Singing, humming together. There's a lot of pieces there that are interesting and we all have different things that inspire us, different authenticity. But I, I do think, think since I have taken a lot of technology out of my day to day and a lot of modernization out of my day to day, I have manifested so much more in my life so much quicker, and I'm not doing an obscene amount of unblocking at the moment. So. Because I would argue though, for me personally, I'm becoming more and more authentic to the things that I find beautiful in my life. And I. That is a topic we haven't totally covered today, Janelle, that I think plays a really big part in, you know, somatic work is beauty. Oh, totally. So let's talk about some of that stuff. What are these things we could build into our daily life that is regulating that we. We don't do right now, which is crazy, but beauty being such a big piece of that.
- [59:43]
Jessica
I mean, for me, this is something that I feel like I am just blown away with how impactful it is in my life. And I didn't really think about it through that lens. And every year I'm like, no, this is literally changing my entire mental state when I'm in spaces that feel inspiring. I think you had said it first, Lacy, when we were booking hotels years ago for maybe a New York trip or something, and you're like, make sure you stay at a hotel that you feel inspired by. And that phrasing, wow. Because a part of me was like, oh, I want to stay at this like, beautiful place. Is that ego? And then I was like, wait. But no, it's really genuinely fills my cup more than I can even. Like my whole. All my cells are singing and happy and like that energy is just reverberating out. That's not ego. That is authentic to my experience. So I think it doesn't have to be luxury hotels, but it could be that walk in nature, that walk in the neighborhood. What are the forms of beauty that really speak to you called like.
- [60:47]
Host/Announcer
For me, it's like looking at the mountains there.
- [60:50]
Lacy
Well, for you, even sunsets are regulating.
- [60:52]
Janelle
That's like a huge thing I do every day. I cannot look at a sunset and not think of you now.
- [60:59]
Lacy
No. Think of how many of us are sitting inside of something where we don't even catch the sunset every day. That wasn't even. That wasn't even an option as how we are wired as humans with nervous system. Like, are you kidding? And so I guess that's just a bigger topic that I want to talk. Not that I want to talk about that I just want to leave with people to think about. In your daily life, the thing that's going to make you manifest so quickly is renegotiating your trauma and expanding, taking aligned action. So the big piece here with our nervous system is renegotiating our trauma. But let's just think about how much shit is layered in our daily life that's actually standing in between us. Even getting to point the. A point of like feeling regulated enough to even renegotiate trauma. Like where we have to do real work. There's so much in our daily life, not all of us, but a lot of us tuning in here that are so disconnected from what our body is meant to do and experience in the world and how we live. And it doesn't. You don't have to live in a yurt on a mountain to get there. I think there's quite a few inventories we can just take individually and authentically. Like you, Jessica, sunsets mean the world to you. Beauty means the world to you. There's so many things that come before us. Having to like, move out of a city and whatever. Being able to brick, being able to not be on your phone. There's just a lot of layers that we each individually can take to get to a little bit more regulated space.
- [62:43]
Jessica
And the other piece with beauty and Janelle, I want to hear your thoughts on beauty because there's a beauty exercise that we'll have in one of these DI's too. And the real importance of that. But the other thing for me, with beauty. And I. I'll do this when I go on nightly walks and catch the sunset and take in even how like the sun moves through the trees at people's houses at certain times of day. All of that. That when I'm doing that, not only am I able to metabolize more, create that. That balance on that ladder more, all of that. But I've been intentionally saying because I can. There's a tipping point where I enjoy the beauty. And then I'm like a thought or a worry will enter my head and
- [63:24]
Host/Announcer
I have to check it and be like, no, I'm allowed to feel good here.
- [63:27]
Jessica
I don't need to think about what's next and checking myself just really gently, like, not in a harsh way. I'll tune to it later. But I'm like, I'm allowed to feel good. It's okay to feel good here. We can feel more good. Really Expanding that barometer. When you're in a state of presence or you're in a state of beauty, it's crazy how fast our brains want to be like, but what about this? Did you think about that? Worried about this? We should think about this thing. You may. You have to get your. And get dinner. And did you take the meat out to defrost and you know, whatever it is, our brains want to get you out of it so quickly and.
- [64:02]
Host/Announcer
But can you allow yourself those the
- [64:04]
Jessica
pleasure of sitting in it for even just five seconds longer and expand that window of tolerance? Huge. Huge. For manifesting.
- [64:13]
Janelle
I'm like, this is a cube for everyone to like upgrade their space and whatever interior design preferences they have. Yeah, but it's true. Even if you don't live in nature. Like for me, why I was so weird about getting the exact office I wanted is I'm like, I want to walk in and I want my nervous. And I do. Every day I'm like, I walk in my nervous. Nervous system just like chills and I want everyone else to be in here and just feel like just kind of held. Because when you're in a beautiful space, everything just softens your nervous system just automatically without doing anything feels safer.
- [64:49]
Host/Announcer
So.
- [64:49]
Janelle
And that's obviously unique to everyone's own unique individual style or whatever. So even if in your own, I think especially bedroom or living room, whatever main areas you're in, if you want to bring in art or anything, a tree or object and whatever objects you want just to help, like immediately your nervous system will just subtly just like, drop. So I love that one. And everyone's so different. Like, some people, like, movement is so big for them. Like, that's what their authentic preference is. Like, movement, it makes difference for the nervous system. For me, it's beauty immediately. It's like my. My go to as well. The one thing that is also so soothing for our nervous systems is relationships. And it is a sweet thing to have somebody with. Like, I'm like, you guys probably feel this intuitively when you're listening to your weekly Friday TVM podcast and you hear Jessica's voice and Lacy and all of it, and the familiarity, it's like there is that familiarity that is really soothing to the nervous system and very comforting. I mean, even I listened to it this weekend and I was like, oh. And I did. I felt right away. I just felt. I'm like. Like, it's almost like a little softening, you know, when you're listening to your favorite shows and your favorite people.
- [66:03]
Lacy
So I love that. What are other things, too, that may already be in somebody's life that they could lean into more? We talked about sunsets, beauty, how that is so important. What are other things that we. Beyond all of my, like, analog things, honestly.
- [66:18]
Janelle
Like, I mean, I think relationships, right? Like, this whole point of this, all of this work is that we have a secure attachment with ourselves and then we can have secure attachment with others. I was telling you guys early, like, the eclipses were eclipsing for me hard. And the most soothing thing for me were actually talking to old friends. And I checked, my current new friends, too, are also soothing. But there was something really medicinal for me about friends that have known me over 20 years. And I was like, immediately soothed. Friendships are so important. Or people that are safe for you are so important.
- [66:57]
Lacy
I was gonna say, too. Like, meals with friends, especially once you cook together, is so regulating.
- [67:04]
Jessica
I think about also other sensory things. Like movement for me is I. When you were like, movement for some people is very. I'm like, yes. Movement for me is so regular. Maybe it's a generator. I just have so much energy. But, like, intentional movement, even just stretching, moving my hips, rolling my ankles, dancing, shimmy my hips side to side. All of that stuff. Scent. Putting on a scent that just smells so good. Or like passing. We got this beautiful new bouquet of flowers, and I don't know why, but the Fragrance is like 10x what? Any flower. I can't stop smelling it all day long. Like, every time I pass the dining room, I'm like, oh, my God, there
- [67:43]
Janelle
it Is again, it's so good.
- [67:45]
Jessica
So stuff like that. And, oh, voice singing. We have the voos and hums and different things that are stimulating the vagal nerve, but also singing does that as well. Like, this morning, this is gonna sound so weird, because I am not a singer by any means, but we have really high vaulted ceilings in our living room. And I was like, I kind of feel like, a little of a funk this morning. I need to, like, move energy around. And I was like, daniel, do you care if I sing for, like, just five minutes, very loud? And he was like, oh, boy. He's like, yeah, go ahead. And I'm like, like, in. In our, like, living room, like, just belting. Not on key at all, but just, like, to get it moving. And I, like, started crying immediately after. And then I was like, okay, I'm good. I moved through whatever. The energy was like, it's out. It can be as simple as that. But we just, like, wouldn' even think to be like, let me belt at the top of my lungs for. I guess people do that in their cars. Like, that's, like, common.
- [68:49]
Lacy
Not gonna say that historically, that we would gather, but whatever, you know, just more. We don't do that. We're so far away.
- [69:01]
Host/Announcer
So true.
- [69:03]
Jessica
Oh, and. And probably I haven't done this, but, like, singing in groups, you're toning everyone's vocals together in harmony. And then the tone of harmony reverberating through your body is probably also. I mean, that's why, like, sound baths are so regulated.
- [69:21]
Janelle
Humming all of that, you know it because it does. It tones your vagus nerve. So all of that.
- [69:27]
Lacy
And I think to finish, too, what you were saying, Janelle, even though I know you're making it accessible to all. But nature is so regulating because we're not meant to be separated from. So it's like, how can you have more of that into your. In your life in whatever capacity? Like, Janelle saying that moves the needle the most for you. I really. I really think that's so key. Animals, so, so regulating. So important. Kid, little kids, not so much.
- [69:59]
Jessica
I was like, oh, kids, regulating great. And then you're like, not so much.
- [70:04]
Lacy
No, because we're not meant to be doing, you know, parenting in the ways we are. And it's like, I don't think my nervous system, aside from when we're getting ready to go to bed, is ever fully regulated with young children, because everything is. You're on all the time of, like, helping, meeting needs, something's getting broke, the thing, blah, blah, blah, it's just like constant, you know, and so not so much now, you know, when it is regulating, when grandma's over and Max is over. Yeah, we have a little bit of a village and then it's like, oh, wow, this is, this is what it's supposed to be like. It's just a lot, a lot to think about. If we're going to have the real nervous system conversation, we really need to acknowledge like there's a lot at play. And my biggest thing, whenever I'm talking about manifestation has always been what's going to make us manifest the quickest. And it's like, well, we're having this conversation. There's a lot standing in the way before we even get to the juicy part.
- [71:02]
Jessica
Well, join the seven days with us, guys. Let's start the baby steppy together.
- [71:09]
Lacy
Little steppy, baby steppy at a time.
- [71:10]
Janelle
Yes. Oh, good.
- [71:13]
Jessica
Thank you guys.
- [71:14]
Janelle
Thank you.
- [71:22]
Host/Announcer
I hope you guys enjoyed this episode today. And if you resonated with any of the archetypal types we were talking about in there, we have a nervous system quiz where we fleshed out these archetypes even further to give you clarity on them. They're just the most common ones we're seeing in our community right now.
- [71:37]
Jessica
There's also so many other patterns that
- [71:39]
Host/Announcer
can be in there, but if you're resonating with These, we have DI's specifically in this new seven day nervous system reset launching on Monday, curated for each one of these phases. And we can't wait to see you in there. We're kicking off Monday with our mini Reset di. That will be the medicine to use our one stop shop for. No matter what state your nervous system is in, whether you're shut down, whether you're in overdrive, whether you're freezing, it's gently going to bring you back to balance, bring up your energy, bring down your energy, whatever you're needing to get back into your higher self and in your magnetic grounded state, in your body, in your nervous system, in your mind. We can't wait to see you in there starting Monday the 30th and join with our sale.