← EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
Ep. 412 - Stop Waiting for Permission: The Path to Manifesting Unapologetic Confidence
01:02:19
What would change in your life if you stopped waiting for permission and finally trusted yourself? In this episode, Lacy, Jessica, and Janelle explore one of the most transformative energies in manifestation: the unapologetic self-worth that comes from fully being yourself. As the community moves through the Be Seen Challenge, they unpack the collective themes emerging right now: navigating uncertainty in a rapidly changing world, releasing outdated beliefs around success, hustle, relationships, visibility, and identity. They dive into the fears that keep us hidden and cover nervous system regulation, shadow work, authenticity, burnout, and manifestation. Plus, they break down why "fuck it" energy isn't about recklessness — it's about arriving at a place where your worth is no longer up for debate. Your authenticity is your greatest signal to the universe. The life, love, opportunities, and freedom you're after often begin the moment you stop abandoning yourself and allow yourse...
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- [00:00]
Janelle
If you don't feel safe and secure with yourself, there's no way you'll have the courage to really put yourself out there.
- [00:06]
Lacy
The gift I would love to give to anyone is to arrive at your fuck it space and all aspects of your life.
- [00:13]
Jessica
Our light is a gift. It's a magic. Stop hiding. It's time. If you are listening to this episode, you have a light within you, a gift, a magnetic essence that wants to be expressed more. In this space season, there are so many fears. What ifs? What if I'm not likable enough? What if I'm judged? What if people hate me? What if I'm rejected? That stop us from actually taking the step forward and putting ourself out there to connect with the things we want to find. The people, relationships, friendships that feel most aligned to pursue our passions, our heart led desires, our joy, our abundance and and to really connect with the manifestations that will most fulfill us in this season. Right now we are in the middle of the be seen challenge where we are pulling back any ways that we are keeping ourselves small, we are not letting our full essence shine. And where we may be blocking ourselves in career, in relationships, in the growth of who we are at our identity. In this season, we're learning who we are authentically and what fears are in the way so we can start moving with aligned action from, from this place. We have some of the best tools we have ever rolled out at tbm, I have to say because it is getting to the core of what is preventing you from your manifestation. So if you are getting the ping to join, if you are feeling that call to something more, something deeper, something more magnetic and easeful in this season, come join us. The results have already been insane for the community who is keeping up with the challenge that manifestations rolling through opportunities coming out of thin air. People are manifesting money, they're manifesting relationships, they're manifesting trips so rapidly because they're getting to the core root of what is in the way. We have our big summer sale going on right now, so if you get the ping, you can come join this challenge. It will be available all summer and experience the magic with us and let your light shine. In today's episode, Lacy, Janelle and I are breaking down some of those major fears that pop up when it comes comes to being visible and more so even visible when it comes to really owning our worth, our desires, our essence to really know that our needs matter and that they are worth pursuing, they are worth taking steps forwards even if it Feels clunky or not perfect. And we get a little teaser from Lacy on some new energetics that have been coming through, energetics that I've been seeing, that she's been seeing, that Janelle's been seeing. And we all dive into what that fuck it energy is, where we can just let all of the shoulds and what you think you have to do and really expand your capacity to hold so much more abundance, so many more possibilities and opportunities and feel so free on the other side with that bucket energetic, which is the true root of magnetism. Enjoy. 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So whether I use it at night to unwind, I usually pair it with a little deep imagining or some TBM work and I can fully allow my body to relax and get the nutrients from the red light it needs. And with so many red light devices on the market, I trust Bon Charge implicitly. They are so science backed. They rigorously study and have the highest quality, lowest emf, best quality red light in all of their products. In fact, they were even awarded the winner of the Beauty Shortlist awards. If you're curious about supporting your skin and glowing from the inside out, check out Boncharge's red light face mask@boncharge.com and use code magnetic all caps M A G N E T I C for 15% off your order. Again, that's boncharge.com, check the link in the show notes and put in code magnetic all caps M A G N E T I C for 15% off. And now onto the episode. Welcome back guys to another episode of Expanded. I'm so excited. We are in deep in the be seen challenge. I'm sure if you guys are in it with us, you are having the most magical revelations, insights, connections, maybe even some tests and triggers. But we wanted to talk about today some of the collective themes we're seeing come up and how you can really harness this, as Lacy put it, the fuck it, Energy getting to that magnetic state where you just are like, you know what? Screw it. I'm going to bet on me. I'm going to actually trust my self worth. I'm going to take this leap of faith and I'm going to live from this place. It's the most magnetic energy. So much shifts on the other side. And then we'll kind of break down some of the fears that get into the way of like, why people don't feel safe living in that or even stepping into that for a season. But before we get in, we were talking about this before we started recording. Some of the collective, energetic themes we're noticing right now play out. So, Lacey, do you want to dive into yours and what you're noticing? And also, I'm so seeing that in the. In the community.
- [06:38]
Lacy
I'm seeing this a little bit around me, definitely. I'm experiencing it as we shift into the new paradigm. It's kind of what you talked about, Jessica, where it's like, I don't even have the. The stamina or interest to continue on the loops that don't serve anybody anymore, you know, including myself. And I don't totally have clarity on what I'm jumping into fully in all aspects of life. I'm feeling it in parenting, I'm feeling it in schooling for my kids. I'm feeling it in career. I'm feeling it in openness of everything where I'm just like, I can't even pretend these old paradigm things are the fit anymore. And then there's that little bit of anxiety of whoa. But I don't know, I think of school as a really good example, right. For my kids. Like any traditional schooling hasn't felt right locally for us. And so they're in a Waldorf pond that like all the parents really get to have a big say in. But I'm like, how long will that last? You know, am I a homeschool mom? I don't know. Like, I'm having. There's a lot of new paradigm thoughts coming up because. And I don't want to go off on too big of a tangent, but as AI rises in all of the research, I see what children are preparing for in the future. School systems haven't caught up to yet. And I value like a very specific thing. And so I'm like really leaning into this whole concept of, yeah, learning basic things like writing, reading and mathematics, but at the end of the day, just being fully purpose led and having a lot of freedom to think nonlinear and have that level of learning whatever skill they're into. So anyways, this is a really good example of how there's an old paradigm and a new paradigm and we're in between, but there's no certainty of what the new one looks like. Because I'm also a mom who likes to have five hours to myself a day. I need it. I have to have five to do anything I do here, to do anything I do in any of my other career sectors, I need alone time. So it's like I can't be a full state, you know, like homeschool mom. So anyways, that's just one really good example of something that's this real surrender and easefulness and just like really watching what the universe is going to unfold with the knowing that as the new paradigm becomes more and more finalized, everything's going to sort of present itself in accordance in time. We're going to be living in a way we've never lived in in the past. So I'm just really kind of naming if anybody else is feeling this vast openness that could feel like a rut because you're like, whoa, there's this old spot. I'm not in that. And I don't know what the destination is. I'm in this in between of surrender. And it's like, I just want people to know that it's not technically the energetic of a rut. It's right now we're going through an, I think an upgrade that looks different. So. Yeah. And then what are the other ones you are seeing Jessica? And then I want to hear Janelle.
- [09:38]
Jessica
Yeah, well, with the one that you're talking about too, Lacy, I'm seeing it play out with a community where they really want that certainty of what it looks like. Like they're looking for clarity. They're looking for the thing that they can sink their teeth into, but they don't have it yet. And so as they're going through this challenge, specifically that week one, when it comes to the authenticity, what is alive for you today? What are you excited by today? What is on your heart today? What are, who are your expanders today? It doesn't have to be, especially people, and myself included, who love a good five year Plan. It is the most comforting thing to have a North Star, but you have to hold it with like, okay, that's the five year plan. Today and tomorrow it might not be the plan. And can I hold it delicately and almost see this chapter as like, like you get to be an explorer of this season and, and go first and learn what works and doesn't work without having to like attach to anything, which feels really destabilizing because you have no, no shell. The other big one I'm seeing, and this is kind of what I feel into is this. There are certain aspects that I know I've been maintaining or just doing because I think that's like how it has to get done. And I just, I see it so clearly what is calling on my heart to like open up more space for. And then I keep filling it with the stuff I think I should do. And so now I'm finally at a place of like getting into that fuck it energy of, oh, like, I thought I was just handling this stuff, but like, this is actually costing me a lot of my energy and my gifts and my excitement. So can I take the leap? Can I jump through the fear? Can I delegate in the way that really delegate? Not just like a little bit delegate, but like really delegate and step into that and feel held? I think so many people, I've heard this come up a lot with people with social media where they've like been dreaming of posting or dreaming of creating that art project or dreaming of doing this, this passion. Oh, what was. It's one of the DMs. They were like, I really want to paint, but I've only ever been a graphic artist. So how do I, like, what do I do with that? And it's like, now's the time. Like, this is the energy to make the space for it. Because the space isn't going to just magically present one day. It's not going to pop up in your schedule. We have to do the hard work of removing the things that are draining us from taking up the space on the thing that lights us up. And then the, the last one is people who are kind of chipping away at what feels aligned, but they're like hitting a wall and they haven't quite identified what the blocker is or where their fear part's coming in. And I think with this challenge in particular, especially in week two, they'll start to identify the protector part, the part of them that's like secretly pushing away their manifestation. Like the hidden fear of. I've been on this path, I want this manifestation. Why is it not coming through? And I think especially in week two, it'll start to illuminate. Like, oh, my gosh. I think if this comes through, this means X. And I've been terrified of this the whole time. And I have to step into that fuck it, energy and face it. If I want this thing, I also am going to have to sit with the discomfort that it might mean this or that this might happen.
- [13:08]
Lacy
Exactly. And I think everybody's sort of being met with that right now, even from small to big.
- [13:13]
Jessica
Yeah. Janelle, what are you feeling into?
- [13:16]
Janelle
I was thinking, I've been thinking a lot about just like, burnout lately and how it doesn't happen. Just like with one overnight thing. It's like it happens over a course of a year, two years, and little micro things that we tolerate or put up with or accommodate. And they're really a no for us, but we just accommodate, accommodate, accommodate, accommodate. And at some point, our systems over time burn out. Like, they give out. And so I've been thinking more about those little things that we go, oh, well, we'll just, you know, I could just blah, blah, blah, it's not a big deal. And then when that's chronic and repeated over time, it really has, like a big price tag. Kind of like, how do I get really, like, into a deeper alignment with myself, really be able to be at my full capacity and as protection. So I've seen a lot of that in a lot of different ways and can kind of like go, okay, you know, this pattern keeps going. This is where they're going to end up. Or if this keeps going, this is where it's going to end up. So more in just a summer spring cleaning, if you will, of like, where, where. Where am I, like, putting up with something or letting something slide that I really can't let slide. And the bigger picture, I saw an
- [14:42]
Jessica
Instagram, one of those graphs, and it was showing that burnout as, like, a concept popped into the. The SEO and the search algorithms around 2020, significantly more than it had before. But actually in the past year to even the past six months, it is skyrocketed to an exponential degree. And it's funny, I've heard even this week, three or four people in my orbit have mentioned taking large amounts of times off, shutting down a part of their business, closing this, closing that. And it's. I think it's very indicative of that energy of shifting from the old paradigm to the new, where it's like, oh, I thought it had to look like this. And I've hit the wall. I've hit the. The effort energy. And I realize I'm actually not living the life I want to be living. And so I think I need to take a pause to figure out what is out of alignment for that. And I think before, and maybe this is part of the new paradigm energy, but I feel like before it was easier to do one small change, and it felt like a whole fresh energy came in. And now that change is, like, not enough. It's like, oh, that was like a band aid. But the. The puzzle piece is still misaligned. So until we deal with the root stuff, it's not really going to help us anymore.
- [16:06]
Lacy
It's also like, what Jenna has been talking about. Nobody wants to really say it, but Hustle culture is over. Nobody wants it anymore. And the people who are still on that track, who are still on it, they think they have to be, but it's not. It's not not going to land. It's not going to land. It's not going to.
- [16:22]
Jessica
It's.
- [16:22]
Lacy
It's over. It's done in the new paradigm. It's just not there. And I think that's the overarching thing we're really talking about here, which is a form of being seen. It really is. It's like, wait, can I just be 100% fully my weird self with a clear signal in full intention and survive? Let's see. But not even survive. Also thrive? I mean, that's like, that's the big question, right? We're all afraid. Like, that's stepping through the fears to get there. So I think we just are often pioneers, you know, the people in this conversation that can feel this energy before it becomes mainstream. And so I really think that it's getting louder and louder and louder. And at the end of the day, it's like, whether we want to or not, the new paradigm's coming.
- [17:14]
Jessica
Let's get into some of these fears. Because I feel like I went through the G. I was like, okay, let's pull every. My Capricorn self is like, let me pull every possible fear attached to this. What is the actual, like, root that we can pull it into? And there's about 11ish of them, but some of them group together. I kind of want to start with the. They're not lighter, but they're more of the surfacer blocks, right? Or the fears. So fear of judgment, being evaluated, fear of being misunderstood, fear of losing yourself to success, responsibility. So I think especially fear of being humiliated I think when we think of being seen and we think about putting ourselves out there. Yes. In a way of sharing our art, our light, our gifts, the judgment comes up, the fear of being misunderstood comes up, fear of humiliation comes up, and these surface. Because it's almost like that you're like, okay, if I. Like if they see me even just the discomfort of feeling judged, the discomfort of feeling misunderstood, the discomfort of humiliation, it's almost like our brain thinks that instance of it, we can't survive. If it happens, we can't survive. And obviously it roots down to memories where minor and major ways of that has happened. But, Janelle, when it comes to the physical aspect of visibility, like, I am afraid that if I put one step of my authentic self out there, I'll be judged, I'll be misunderstood, I'll be humiliated. I feel the heat on my face. When you're, like, presenting in front of the class. You know, it's like that energy. What's going on there?
- [18:56]
Janelle
Yeah, I think. I think about it in a couple different ways. The first being where in our childhood did we pick up that being seen is either bad or unsafe? Because from that space, everything that you mentioned kind of goes from that. Right. So that's kind of like the first layer. And everybody is going to have way different ones that land based off of what. What did they pick up in their childhood? The second component for that is the nervous system response paired to whatever you picked up there. Right. For some people, you know, so freeze, fun, fight, flight, you know, depending on those origin stories of that. And so it's kind of two part is like work with the original wound. What is your specific original wounds around this? And then there's all of the nervous system capacity piece that are. That are coupled with it. The other thing I think about is more of a, for lack of a better word, soul dysmorphia that we have about ourselves. What is my shadow around myself that if I'm seen, everyone's gonna find out about? And that I feel like is. I mean, it is specific to childhood.
- [20:10]
Lacy
It is.
- [20:10]
Janelle
And it isn't specific to childhood. You know, it's kind of like a universal thing of like, where. Where do we all have shadows and how that subconsciously is in there? Of like, if I have a shadow that I'm not smart enough, if I'm seen, then that feels like a social suicide death. So there's a couple different angles of it.
- [20:29]
Jessica
I. I think that is exactly what I've seen going into this too, where it's like we have those external ones. Like, I'm scared of the judgment, the misunderstanding, the not being liked, the whatever it is, but then taking it that next level deeper. And it's like, okay, if that were to happen, what am I thinking? And this is in the challenge too. And you guys can do the exercise with it and learn to unblock it, but what meaning about myself am I taking away? Like, what is the story about? Oh, if I were judged in this way or if I was not liked in this way, what does the inherent belief of who I am become true then? You know, and for some people, that's like, I'm not good enough at X, Or, I'm not good enough, period, or I'm flawed. Like, something about me is defective or wrong or repulsive or just not likable. It's just in me. It's just there, you know? And I think that part of us that is so. It's like that really gentle inner child shadow that's like hiding and terrified and scared. That's the part that all of this nervous system work and all of this fear of being authentic is kind of afraid of illuminating once you step out and make that authentic choice or become your authentic self or share from an authentic place or set your boundaries, you know, say, you know what? This old paradigm isn't working. I'm gonna step into the new now. You're exposing that part of you that you are. At least how I've experienced that part of myself. There is a. The higher self part of me that knows that that's not true. And there's that inner child part that's like, wait, but what if it is? But what if it is? Like, don't let anybody know. We have to hide it. Like, don't do this. Like, please, please, please. Like, it's like begging, pleading to just stay. Like, let's not find out if it's true. I'd rather just stay small because I don't want to even expose myself to that being true. Does that resonate for you guys?
- [22:29]
Janelle
Oh, 100%. Yeah. Because it's the courage to be vulnerable. Like, to be honest with yourself about what your shadow parts are and really meet that shadow part in order to work through it. Because if you don't feel safe and secure with yourself, there's no way. And that shadow part of you is met by you. There's no way you'll have the courage to really put yourself out there.
- [22:59]
Jessica
You know how sometimes you don't realize how much stress is actually impacting your body until you Start noticing it in places where you just can't ignore. Over the last year, I noticed my hair wasn't feeling as full or thick in certain areas as it once did. And between a really demanding season of work, planning my wedding, navigating so many life transitions, and the universe just doing its thing, I could tell that stress is taking a toll. And with my wedding coming up, I really want to feel like the most vibrant version of myself. Not just in my dress, but in my hair, too. That is what led me to Nutrafol. Women. I'll be honest, I'm skeptical when it comes to supplements because I'm very rigorous about which ones I take, making sure they really make an impact. But I love that Nutrafol takes a proactive approach to hair health from within, targeting the root causes and how it impacts how your hair actually looks and feels. And make sure it actually gets the nutrients that it needs. I've been taking it consistently for a few weeks now, and I know everyone's experience may be different, but I'm already starting to notice really positive shifts. My hair is starting to sprout little baby hairs. It's feeling much healthier, I'm seeing a lot less shedding, and it's becoming a really supportive part of my daily routine. I'm even noticing my energy levels are higher because it has vitamins that my body may have been lacking, like B12. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand and it is also the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists. Their hair growth supplements are peer reviewed, NSF certified for sport and clinical test and offer multiple formulas for different life stages and lifestyle factors. So it's not a one size fits all approach. Let your hair be one less thing to worry about and see. Visibly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair in three to six months with Nutrafol for a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code TBM. That's Nutrafol.com spelled N U T R A F O L.com and use promo code TBM at checkout or check the link in the show notes. And then Lacy Talking about this really fuck it. Energy is unapologetic. Self worth. I'm not settling, I'm not maintaining, I'm not checking in. People pleasing. I'm just gonna do the thing. Talk a little bit about how that can help us with these fears.
- [25:39]
Lacy
Yeah, because like, you know, listening to Everything you guys are saying, it's something that we all experience and different levels of fear and strength and everything. But I think there is this dark night of the soul that really has to happen in order to truly be so. That is where I think the universe finds someone. So what I mean by that is basically like, my mom has this. Even though she's so unintegrated in so many ways, she does not give a fuck what people think about her. And so it allows her to navigate the world in a way that she. She's able to, like, just be so openly herself in so many ways. But the people that I see that the universe meets the most have that fuck it energy. And it's not the fake one, right? There's a. There's many fake versions of that, many masks of that. It's the people who have really, like, done the walkabout with their soul and have really done the worst case scenario work and all of those things you were just talking about. And they arrived at being like, wow, I'm still okay. And I'm okay with myself being okay like this and getting to that level of fuck it is where I think one can truly be seen. And some people have it stronger in different variables of their life, right? Like, one that I'm experiencing it in right now is beauty. I'm like, really on this deep, deep, ancient beauty dive right now where it's like, I'm only showering once a week. I'm like. And what I mean by that, all the substack anymore. I don't wash my hair anymore. It's like a whole thing. But what hit me with it all was like, whoa, I'm aging so much faster, doing shit in a modern way. And I had to, like, do a lot of research on this. And I'm like, my hair's drier. It's really breaking. It's not as long as it used to be. What the fuck's going on here? And so I did a really deep dive on it. And everything we do with our hair care is modern. And in fact, it's completely the antithesis of what we're supposed to do with our hair and what we've done with our hair for thousands of years. And then I started to go on a deeper dive where I'm like, why am I so dry all the time in Los Angeles? And there's this whole, obviously your hormones change as you get older and in postpartum and. And pregnancy and blah, blah, blah. But at the end of the day, it's like, no, if you don't mess with your microbiome, there's a reason why people only ever, you know, did like bits and pits washing, right? Because then you don't mess with your skin and so your sebum doesn't get messed up and therefore you don't have to slather tons of oils on. So I'm just giving an example. This is so, so out of left field. But what I want to say with that is getting so curious about who you are and what your interests are and being so unapologetic about going to the places that are so authentically you and then doing the work to truly not give a. Because that's the place the universe is always going to find you. It's always, it's going to be like, oh, there you are. Let me bring you everything you've ever wanted. And so to me, that's a really deep level of being seen. See into me fully and not care. Doesn't mean I don't need connection still. It means I need connection with the right people, I need connection with the right friends, I need connection with the right lover, I need connection with the right audience when it comes to my product or my thing or my thing I share need connection with the right company who gets it, blah, blah, blah. And so it goes, you know. But when we're on the hamster wheel, when we're constantly abandoning ourselves or shrinking or doing what we think is the thing that's going to make us be loved, you know, we've said this in so many different variations and so many different challenges, but I think what makes this different is new tools and arriving at the true fuck it energy. Do you guys, for instance, have examples in your life of spaces where you've arrived at the true fuck it energy so people can understand what that really looks like?
- [29:58]
Jessica
I. I would say for me, relationship, I think so much of my early relationships were so anxiously attached. The orientation of my attention was around them, their life, what they did, their friend group. And I would be like, great, I'm gonna just make my day, my schedule, my weekend plans based off of their to do. And it wasn't until my relationship with Daniel, truly, and it was probably not even in the beginning of the relationship, it was probably a couple years into the relationship where I had this moment and from doing the TBM work because I'm like thinking of the timeline where I was like, oh, I just want to be with me. Me being alone is way more valuable than whatever the hell this person's doing. Like I love this person and I want to connect with them, but I don't need it. I don't need them to do anything. I don't even care what they're doing on. They can do whatever they want. If we have plans together, great. But like, there's just this. Wow. It's kind of interesting reflecting back because it's so opposite, but, like, the tension and the time and awareness that I would put into orienting, that's really the best word I can think of. Like, my attention of, am I safe? Am I good? What are we doing? Was so oriented to the other person in relationship that in my current relationship, it's like the first time I've ever experienced freedom and being like, oh, I could do anything and he could do anything and we're good. You know, like, it just feels secure. I feel safe to go and venture. Kind of like you talked about, you know, with the inner child piece when, like, the parent is standing there and the kid goes and plays in the playground, and then they come back to the parent, but then they go playing the playground. Like, that's how it feels in the relationship. We meet up, we're good, and then we go play in the playground and then we come back and it's fine. But, like, I don't. I'm not feeling this stomach curdling. Oh, no, what are they doing? Where are they? What's happening? Blah, blah, blah. Feeling that I used to feel beautiful.
- [32:09]
Janelle
My biggest fuck it evolution in my life for sure, has been my religious deconstruction, hands down. So earlier we were talking about, you know, what's your childhood programming around being seen? Was it bad? Was it safe? And I would say that probably one of my biggest ones wasn't from my family. I felt safe. I felt free to be myself and my family. But I grew up in such a strict religious school and church and community, and there was a big patriarchy message that women were essentially the helper. They were to be submissive. They were not. It was shameful for a woman to be seen. The men were the leaders. They were the pastors. They were the front and center and. And it was never like, necessarily outright spoken, but the culture of what I picked up was a woman's place was to be more kind of submissive and meek. And they weren't supposed to take up a lot of space, right? They weren't meant to be the leader. Like, that was like, you're stepping out of line and how dare you. Right? And this is my personal experience and my Every community is Different, I'll name that. But from my experience, that was it. So that definitely shaped my own evolution. And I would say even coming out, like, deconstructing from conservative Christianity and arriving to a point of like, this doesn't feel true to me. And it was actually ironically, because I cared so much about truth, some people's like, they're just like, well, I wanted to be in their minds bad. And so I wanted to. So I wanted to party. So I left religion, or I wanted to do this bad thing and I left religion. I'm like, that was not at all it for me. It was like this deep pursuant of truth. And the deeper I got into it, the more it did not make sense to me. And my God got bigger and my box exploded. And I had to, as a very deep people pleaser, get to the point of, like, literally everyone I know growing up, people I love so dearly, and I am a hundred percent a heretic to them. And being on this podcast even, like, doubles me down. Is it right? So for sure, that is, like, by far my biggest like it. And I really did have to arrive of like, okay, I'm gonna be judged and misunderstood by hundreds of people. And because I feel so in alignment with where I've landed spiritually, in my truth, so be it. It is what it is. But I remember when I started with you guys, it was like this final moment of outing myself as not being a conservative Christian, of being a spiritual seeker, and it was freaking terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. It was like a million deaths. And if I look back years ago, I was so frozen, my nervous system was so freeze on these podcasts, I was so fucking terrified. And what's so interesting now is now I'm no longer concerned about points I need to make on this podcast or wanting to do a good job. Like, I want, of course, to do a good job and serve a community. Of course. But I feel like I'm able to actually be present with the both of you in a way that I wasn't able to years ago. And so there was some moment in my own journey of being seen that I had to say, fuck it. I might not say anything valuable today. And in order for me to stay engaged in this conversation, I want to connect with Lacey and Jessica, and that's what matters. And it's allowed me to. It's freed me up in a way that I. It's almost like all those nervous system states kind of just disappear. I'm in regulation because I care more about the connection than anything else.
- [36:21]
Lacy
That is One of the most magnetic things to be around presence, true presence. Because so many of us, based on different nervous system states, it's almost impossible for us to all be very present with who we are with at any moment. May it be a group or a person. And I think that that's what being seen like this challenge and arriving at a true fuck it state allows. Because let's say you meet somebody at a party, just randomly, dinner party, you're having a conversation with them for the first time, and they're giving you their true presence without anything ulterior, I guess, is a. A word I'm using. I don't even know if that fits. But it's like they're not thinking about what is this person thinking of me or saying or that thing or my kid or blah, whatever. They're so, like, comfortable with who they are, where they are. No level of needing to please or impress that they're just present. And when you're in that level of presence, it's like the warmest hug, you know, to witness and feel. And that's the energetic of the universe meets you there. I used to talk about this really early on in TBM stuff. I was like, look at the most magnetic people. Back then. It was like, look at Angelina Jolie. She's so fucking magnetic because she has such a fucking energy. And she doesn't have a fake one. There's no. It's not fake, you know, can't fake that. It's a subconscious architecture you either arrive at or you're raised in, or you do the work to get to. And so when you see her talking, she's so speaking the truth without worry and something. And if she doesn't want to answer something, she'll say, oh, I don't really want to talk about that. You know, she's just so present. And another. There were just so many people I used to name back then that when you're witnessing that level of aura, you're like, whoa, you're so drawn in, you want to be a part of it because it's so rare. And so it's like the gift I would love to give to anyone is to arrive at your fuck it space in all aspects of your life. I haven't arrived there in all aspects of my life. I've arrived there in quite a few, but not all of them. And that's like, what I'm taking through the challenge are the places where I'm still afraid of stuff. I'm afraid of the rug getting pulled out from under Me, I'm afraid of. I talk about my daughter's school. I'm like, ugh. As someone who loves to have a plan, this is stressful. Like, what does next year look like? I don't know yet. I don't like not knowing. Do I move somewhere else where there's a better place? Because it's all of that. That. And I'm needing to arrive in a very fuck it spot with whatever happens is going to be awesome. You can't fake this. So it's like, you can't. You can put on another mask and pretend, but it's. It's. The universe doesn't meet you there. It's really arriving. And the other thing I'll say, since we've had a signal podcast, people are in the challenge. We're doing it. We're going to learn the signal tool. This is another form of a very clear signal. When you arrive at Fuck it, that's a very clear signal. It's, I don't give a fuck if someone doesn't like this. I don't give a fuck if this doesn't work out. I don't give a fuck if it's not the cool thing. This is where I'm at, me, how I am. That's a very clear signal.
- [39:30]
Jessica
It's also deep surrender. I think about Angelina Jolie. Just what I've seen of her in interviews, and I actually bumped into her in a coffee shop once, and she. Oh, had that energy, like she was just ordering a green juice or whatever with her kids. But there was this poise and aura, and just like, I'm here. I'm not trying to be seen. I'm not, not trying to be seen. I'm existing. But it also felt like a protection around her, you know, like, you almost didn't want to go up to her because there was this. No, like, respect her. She's in her energy. But I think about. If you think about her interviews and how she's speaking, the reason she can speak from such truth is that piece of presence is that her mind is not thinking, oh, no, did I say the wrong thing? Are they going to judge me? Am I going to get canceled? Am I misunderstood? Did I appease everyone? Those people like this, but those people like that, okay, what can I say? That's in the middle, that won't offend either of them, and we all have it. I think being on social media makes it a million times worse because the amount of inputs of other people's opinions is in our face all day long. And if we don't actually say, that's them, this is me, this is their truth, or social media's truth, and this is my truth, we start merging with it, and then it becomes a voice in our head when we go to show up. And it's like, how can you show up from a true place if you're constantly, again, orienting to what do they think? Who is this? Who is that? It's like walking on eggshells with our light. And I think this is one crux of the challenge that I feel like is so vital, so important for people right now, especially as we're in between these new paradigms. Our light is a gift. It's a magic. There is healing potential. There is possibility, there is hope, there is joy. There are all these beautiful things when we actually let our true light shine. And our light is not for everyone, and that is okay. It doesn't make our light worse. It doesn't make it bad. It's actually guaranteed that none of our light is for everyone. Not one person out there. Their light is meant for everyone. It's just not. There's too many different people. That's okay. But your light is for a lot of people. And so you hiding it is literally kind of allowing these other people who would have so benefited from your light now don't get that. And now they don't have that inspiration or that hope or that joy or that beauty or that warm hug of just even talking to someone who's in their body, who's present. You're missing out on the experience of truly loving and being embodied in yourself without everyone else's opinion in your head. And everyone else is missing out on experiencing you in your light. Yes, the fears are there, and we're gonna walk through them step by step, especially in the subconscious reprogramming of them, because I think that is where those fears can really shift. But then we just gotta let the light out. We gotta get to that place because it's just. It's so sad. There's no sadder thing than having this magical light, this gift. Think of any person in your whole lifetime that you've ever looked up to or been inspired by or been like, wow, this person is fascinating. And it's not even necessarily what they do. Maybe it's just the energy they have. Maybe it was a parent, a grandparent, maybe it's a cartoon character, I don't know. But light came from that thing expressing. You have your version of that. Stop hiding it. It's time.
- [43:15]
Janelle
So beautifully said.
- [43:16]
Lacy
Yeah, it's amazing. And also just on a manifestation level, that's what the universe is looking for. It only cares about your true, whole, worthy, authentic self. And I think in many challenges, we've scratched a lot of the surface people who have been with us or on them or have done them with authenticity. But we're like, we're asking people in this challenge to claim a deeper level of fuck it. Anything that's with tension between me, a subject, and caring at all about what other people think. I need to get to the depths of authenticity there and then own it. Deal with any of the fears that could go wrong, address them. That's in the challenge. You'll be doing that so that there's nothing left to question anymore. And then it becomes about a fuck it trust muscle. You have to, like, go try it on in the world and be yourself. And that's why there's somatic tools to help you with that, because your nervous system has to catch up, feel safe, and all the things. But once you get there, boy, is it freeing. And again, it's work. Like, I actively have to work at different aspects of my life to arrive there, but some of them I feel really good about. Really.
- [44:34]
Jessica
I'm curious for you guys, and this has kind of been my experience with the challenge, but when we were mentioning those fears before, when I first first started, like, excavating all my fears on it, I was like, okay, I'm afraid that I won't be liked. Okay, well, that's maybe the surface one. So what's beneath that? Oh, what's beneath that is this deep fear that I'm not enough. I'm not enough to have the life I want. I'm not enough to do the things I want or the dreams I have are silly, and someone's laughing at me because I'll never like something in that, and it's that inherent worth. And I'm like, okay, here we go again, back at this place. But it was from a such a different angle in where it felt so much easier to debunk this time because I realized how many protective parts I've set up around me like a barricade to protect myself from sitting with the part of myself that felt not enough. But then especially in the di, when you do the di, like, when you're doing inner child di, you sit with that part, and you're like, what are the sweet little innocent thing? Of course you're enough. Like, what are we even talking about here? You know? Like, it. You can consciously think it But I think there's something magical that happens when you do it in the subconscious state and you meet that part of yourself. You get to really face that in such a deep way. And then the next biggest fear of like, okay, why can't I live from this? For me, rooted down to scarcity, the rug will get pulled out from under the career, the job, the home, the whatever. Like my life that I love will be gone.
- [46:14]
Lacy
I think that's the true root of everybody's, like the deepest root. It's that or like the deepest level of abandoning. I think those are the two. What would you say, Janelle?
- [46:26]
Janelle
For sure. I mean it's all like real cancel culture, right? And then everything is gonna go to shit. And it impacts on every single level. And yeah, and it's so primal. Like, it's just so primal. Like we're being kicked out of the tribe and I can't survive anymore if I'm kicked out of the tribe. So at the very core it's that it's such a primal thing. And I think it takes a lot of like interior scaffolding to be able to face that absolutely.
- [47:02]
Jessica
Foreign. Small hiding, dreaming about your future life, but not really taking the actions you know you need to take in order to get there. Maybe you're people pleasing, maybe you're saying yes to things that felt like a no a long time ago. What areas are you still operating from? Fear, from scarcity, from strength shoulds, when you want to be living in ease and flow and magnetism and abundance. Right now at to be magnetic, we are walking through the be seen challenge where we are taking you on a journey for the next three weeks, five days a week, 20 to 30 minutes a day max. You can go at your own pace. You can utilize it all summer long to unblock all of the fears, doubts and limiting beliefs that are keeping us from the things that we most dearly want. If there is any ounce of you that feels like you are afraid to let your light shine, you are afraid to step into this next version of you that is unburdened and truly authentic and magnetic. This is the challenge for you. It is not only going to up level your capacity to be seen in the spaces and places that most matter to you, but you will be able to call in your manifestations faster than ever before. This is the season of coming home to you, seeing your own power and stepping into your magnetic fuck it energy. It is the best time to join TBM because we have our lowest summer sale going on right now where you can join the pathway membership for only $23 a month and access the be seen challenge. You'll also get access to how to manifest our money workshop. All of our deep imaginings that help you reprogram many different limitations blocks fears. We have our somatic nervous system reset in there. All the tools you ever will need to manifest will be inside one membership for only $23 a month. Hope to see you in there. I mean, this is. We're not there yet in the challenge, but this is week three. This is where we get to face that fear. This is where we get to resource around. Okay, let's run that out. And so many times too. I feel like the root is from that scarcity place. But then when you actually say, like, how likely is that to even happen happen? What are the chances that that would really be the outcome? Most of the time, they're fantasies that we've crafted in our heads. I mean, I've talked to so many people throughout this challenge, and even, like, team members and their fears are like, well, I thought maybe the company was looking at me like this, and I'm like, wait, what? Like, that wasn't even a thought in my. No, like, go post the thing. Do the thing. Like, I've. I'm not even thinking about that. And so it just. It goes to show you, we have this, like, story in our head of, well, if I did that, this would happen. And I think when we leave it in our head, it becomes this truth. And then when we can actually, like, bring it down on paper, have small conversations about it, like, let it out a little bit. This was a paper wall. This was a fake. I thought this thing was sturdy and solid and was keeping me trapped. And actually the cage is gone. The cage is gone.
- [50:46]
Lacy
Agreed.
- [50:46]
Jessica
Let's get into it, guys. I am so pumped.
- [50:50]
Lacy
I think that that tool, like, everything people facing, like, getting clear on their signal and then really facing any static and worry and fear, like, at its deepest level, that is magnetism. That's what gets you to fuck it. It's the. Okay, whoa. I have clarity here. Let me just, like, look head on. On anything preventing that clarity. Let me address it all. Usually none of it's true at the bottom, and it's just all stemmed from childhood stuff that we picked up. Wow. All those cobwebs are cleared now. Let's. Let's fucking live. Let's just be fuck it and live, you know? And that's where then you have to take it into the wild and it's practice from there. It's a trust muscle. It's like anything else. It's lifting weights and it's like doing it again and doing that lunch again. And it becomes a muscle memory. And then it's. Then you're liberated and you're magnetic and that's where the partner shows up and the thing shows up in the career and the creativity shows up and the deep intimacy shows up. I was going to say you should share, Jessica, a couple of real life examples of people, you know, who have arrived at this place and were able to be fully seen and then finally manifest the thing that took years. I mean, we know one person in particular, but any others you know as well?
- [52:09]
Jessica
Well, one dear friend, after much trial and tribulation, who's very magnetic person in very many extremely. Had one area of her life that in relationship just kept getting stuck, kept getting stuck, going back to the same old pattern. And she finally had this wake up call. She was like, okay, what are you? The manifestation, Energetics. This person is a test. I keep settling. Unless I decide I'm going to stop settling for this, I'm gonna keep repeating it. That is just what's gonna happen. So I have to put my foot in the sand and say like, no, I am choosing different. I'm going to navigate differently. And she does a lot of her own inner work and moving through things and processing her emotions. And she wound up meeting this person very casually, low stakes, and now is in this extremely healthy, happy relationship. When I tell you she had been looking for her partner since the entire time I've known her. And now being in this, like, beautiful, healthy. She's so chosen in it. Oh, I'm just so excited for her. It's so beautiful to see. And I think the reason it landed so well is because she finally was like, I don't need to perform. I don't need to be anything for these people. I don't need to prove myself. I don't need to like do whatever to get these people to see my value. I'm finally seeing it. I'm in that it energy. And she could just go and be herself in these dating experiences.
- [53:38]
Lacy
That's the big ticket. And it's not something you can pretend like. You do have to deal with the subconscious architecture to really like move the puzzle pieces around to get there.
- [53:49]
Jessica
I was going to say, Lacy, what was your. What area of your life do you feel like you've flipped over into the fucking energy the most?
- [53:57]
Lacy
Probably love and career, love and money. I'm dealing with a new level of finding that in relationship, even being in, like, such a devoted, solid relationship, but discovering new levels of aging and not having time for myself and being a mom and just where does that fall in our relationship and stuff? And me having to find new levels of that fuck it place. And there's nothing more freeing than arriving there. And like, the way you just put it, Jessica, even with that example, yeah, it was passing the test for sure, and waking up to that. But I would argue the bigger thing hinged on I don't need to prove myself. Because knowing that particular person, it was like always being like, the hot. You know, trying to figure out how to always be the hot chick, the successful one, the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And when you can really get to the place of, like, no, I just deserve to be loved for who I am and fuck anybody else who doesn't see that. That's the energetic. That's what we're arriving at.
- [55:03]
Jessica
That's what it is, too. If I think back on all of my biggest manifestations, there was an energy before for it where the fuck it actually came from. No, I deserve to have this need met. That signal is no longer crossed of like, oh, kind of I need. Oh, maybe, oh, if I do this, then maybe I'll be deserving of it. It was like, nope, I'm no longer in debate with myself over whether or not I deserve this thing. I am clear that this is coming from a true part and I need this. And from there I know it'll land and it'll come and then quickly after the things come through.
- [55:40]
Lacy
And that's the other key thing you said. I'm in debate with myself. That's all it ever is, right? Because in relationship, in career, in all the aspects of life, intimacy, blah, blah, blah. When you get clear on that, there's always a version waiting for you to connect with you, right? Because it's just like simple, energetic. So it's like when you change and adapt and get to that space. That's what I mean by the universe comes and finds you and brings that thing to you.
- [56:06]
Janelle
I'm like, we need to. I'm like, let's talk about being seen in love for a minute. Because that to me is the saddest thing ever. Because it's such a lonely place. It's so lonely when we don't allow ourselves to be seen in love or our inner circle or inner friendships. It is so sad. It's so lonely. We're missing the whole point here, right? If we can't, if we can't show up as we are and speak our needs and ask for what we want or we need or let people see what our preferences are and your yeses or nos, then like, truly, like, what's the point? It's such a lonely place when we hide in love. Yeah. It's just so empty.
- [56:52]
Jessica
I think it really, especially in relationships, it's noticing because everything's connected to the places that we're denying our wants is going to show up in our relationship. The places that we're playing small and people pleasing in family is going to show up in friendship, is going to show up in career, it's going to show up in money. Sometimes I think for some people, if the relationship one feels so tender to tackle, what are the other places you're getting tested in? Maybe start there and start chipping away there. And then you can circle back to that relationship piece too. Because I do know for romantic relationships, especially if you feel like it's been the object of your affection for so long to have that relationship, decenter it then make your joy the center again. And. And what does it feel like to live in fun and live in play and express yourself and be yourself around friends, around co workers, around this and see how that starts to open up a little bit more around relationship. One thing Daniel and I have been calling in is more couple friends that are in similar stages of life that we are that are like thinking about having kids, that have businesses that are, you know, all these different things. So we have just like more common interests with. With our friends. And moving over to where we did last year, a lot of our friends moved to the west side. So now we have this divide between them. And it was so interesting. We're like, where do you, like, meet people? Like, where do you meet couples? Like, we don't go to bars. Like, that's like meet at a restaurant, I don't know, like coffee shops in the morning, maybe on our walks. Like, I don't know. And so we're like, let's just set the intention. We're open universe. Like, send us the people that will. We can amplify their lives, they can amplify ours. Like, we can just have the true community connection. No, nothing. Just it feels really good and supportive. And Daniel had this really good insight and he was like, we just need to talk to more people. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, like, when you go to coffee shops, we need to be like, talking to the barista. The people we're waiting in Line with. We need to open up. Like, hey, we're. We're open for. For business, kind of. We can't just, like, sit in line and, like, be with ourselves. We have to just have that energy wherever we go. And we're like, okay. And so we. We tried it for a weekend, and we. I'm not kidding you, we met, like, three or four couples, like, with new kids or with new dogs, and we're like, where did these people come from? Literally ran into them on the street, Just started a chat. One person works in the same industry as Daniel, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, oh, it could be that easy. Like, I. I keep thinking it has to be so hard to find the line. People like, you have to go to the right place or whatever. It's like, actually the openness was within. I wasn't actually open to getting to know a stranger for five seconds to know whether or not they could become a friend. And it started with getting to know a stranger.
- [59:53]
Lacy
Yeah. This is another thing I think that is really relevant in the new paradigm that Jenna talks about is like, manifesting is going to get so much easier like that if we get so much clearer. Even you said a really good thing, Jessica, where you're like, I deserve that. That's going to be an energetic. That makes us manifest a lot quicker in the new paradigm because it's going to be less like, wait, and then this and then. And it's like, no, wait, wait a second. And just getting clear with myself, wait, I just deserve to have this thing. And then you do the unwinding and the work around it. But those are the way I ways that I believe that manifestation will become a lot faster. Oh, good.
- [60:36]
Jessica
Guys, we have a lot to look forward to. We have some fears to step through, but we are in it with you together. We're all stepping through the fears. We all have them. They're terrifying. But we got you. And we have the somatic work to do before and after stepping through the sears to help prime you. But thank you, Lacy and Janelle. I'm so.
- [60:53]
Lacy
Thank you. This so fun. I felt like I could just be myself on it.
- [60:58]
Janelle
Same,
- [61:00]
Jessica
same.
- [61:02]
Lacy
All right, well, have a beautiful day. Beautiful weekend to the listeners. Yeah.
- [61:13]
Jessica
So if you guys are listening to this episode and you're thinking, oh, my gosh, I've definitely have fears or guardrails or protective parts, or if I think about the space that I most want to be seen in or I most want to express in, or I most want to have ease in or I most want to connect with my manifestation in. And it's not feeling the way you want it to feel. This challenge is for you. You can start anytime. We have our big summer sale going on right now, so you can join for only $23 a month instead of our regular $30 a month. And not only will you get access to the challenge, but you'll get access to every single one of our workshop, including our end of year challenge, which is going to be amazing as well our unblocked money course, our how to manifest course, and all of our deep imaginings that help you reprogram your subconscious no matter what you're going through. So if you're getting the ping to join, now's the time. The challenge is the medicine. See you next week.
- [62:10]
Lacy
Sam.