← EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
Ep. 418 - What Everyone Gets Wrong About Manifestation Tests & What To Do Instead
00:38:45
Feeling like life keeps throwing you test after test? Before you assume the universe is challenging you, ask: is this actually a test, or is there a bigger pattern trying to get my attention? In this episode, Lacy and Jessica break down how to recognize the difference between everyday inconveniences, true tests, and the deeper patterns asking to be healed. This episode is your protocol for the moments when it feels like everything is hitting at once. Through the tools, practices, and questions Lacy and Jessica use themselves, you’ll learn how to zoom out, identify the larger pattern, uncover what your triggers are actually pointing to, and reconnect with your grounded, regulated self before reacting from fear or old conditioning. If you’ve been thinking, “Why can’t I catch a break?”—this episode will help you find the clarity and self-trust to move through what’s showing up and meet your next level on the other side. Full show notes → https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast
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- [00:00]
Lacey
All the universe cares about when it comes to manifestation is do you feel worthy enough to have your needs met? At that place is where the manifestations you want exist.
- [00:12]
Jessica
We see more for you. We see better for you. Can you see that? That is the invitation.
- [00:20]
Host
Welcome back, everyone.
- [00:22]
Jessica
Another episode of Expanded.
- [00:24]
Host
Lacey and I here.
- [00:25]
Jessica
Welcome, Lacey. Hi.
- [00:27]
Lacey
How's it going, Jessica? Good.
- [00:30]
Host
Okay.
- [00:31]
Jessica
So as with every challenge period, whenever we start to claim what we want, when we start to step towards our manifestation, inevitably test surface. And I feel like we've talked about tests so much, but I keep hearing this one thing a lot and I really wanted to debunk it and then also reframe how to really work with tests in the most magnetic way. Because I think a lot of people use tests as a form of punishment or like questioning their self worth. And we want to like rip the band aid off and make them really fun. So for the people, I kind of want to start here. For the people who are like, every inconvenience, every minor delay, rejection, hard moment is a test. I'm constantly being tested. I'm getting hit with tests after test after test. The tests never stop. I want to reframe that because one, I doubt that every single one of them, like, sure, every single inconvenience could be an opportunity to be your higher self. But if you are seeing the world through the lens that everything is an obstacle, everything is hard, everything is challenging, there is likely a greater misalignment in your life that has nothing to do with this self worth shifting. And if you notice yourself being like, wow, I'm getting tested so much, if it's three or four in a row, okay, great. But if it's like a long standing pattern, you constantly have this, it's for months, you feel like wave after wave, you can't catch a break. That's a good signal. And when you're using the words, I can't catch a break, I'm experiencing L after L. Like, I've literally heard people say this. That's when it's like, okay, there is a greater misalignment. And these aren't tests to like individually pass. It's just saying something is not setting right. So from a test perspective, do you see every obstacle, inconvenience, bad day, delayed situation, a test?
- [02:30]
Lacey
No, I think a really clear way to answer this is little things that pop up that feel triggering in your life. Just tiny things. Yeah. Look at em. Sure. Maybe I'm way more interested in patterns. And when a pattern is showing up, that's what we need to dive into. If the crazy bill popped up out of nowhere that you weren't expecting, and it's a real oh, shit moment, and the contractor is like, manipulating you and overcharging you, and then the friend only calls you when she needs something, right? Like, she's kind of just a. A user in a way, like a little bit of a narcissist to get her needs met. There's no reciprocity. So we see like, several of these, even three. Three of these things going on in our life. It's like, fuck, none of this feels good. It all feels like it's at me. What's going on here. That's what I'm more interested in. Rather than, I got a nail in my tire and then I like, stubbed my toe and. And the guy didn' me back. And yeah, the guy didn't text me back is a thing. But if it's. You know what I mean?
- [03:37]
Jessica
It's like, yes.
- [03:39]
Lacey
When you're being really triggered by a couple of things or a few things in your life, that's what we need to look at. And I've been really thinking about the practice in general as we're talking about how to come up with a true weekly practice for people. And I feel like tests only need this level of ventilation when there are obvious triggers hitting at once or a very big one out of nowhere, but just like teeny inconveniences in life. Not interested. Would way rather have you focusing on your expander that day or in the being seen challenge, would way rather have you getting more clear on your signal and focusing on that, like, the aspects of your life. Would much rather have you looking at. Okay, There's a lot of clutter building up in my life that's not feeling good for me. I'm seeing all this shit in my house that doesn't light me up. There's a lot of stuff in my inbox that doesn't light me. Like, I would way rather you focus on clearing space for manifestations to come in that day.
- [04:46]
Jessica
Here's the easiest way I can think to explain it. Especially for someone who, like, if you're listening to this and you're like, I'm just starting to learn this work. What the fuck are tests? I've heard them. This is a term that Lacy clocked coined, noted that no other manifestation teacher had ever really labeled in this way before. Which is like, when you write your list, when you get clear and you call that thing in the universe is like, great. It wants you to up level your self worth, the way that you see yourself, your self identity back to its whole worthy self. And any part of yourself that doesn't feel in alignment, self worth wise with that manifestation. The universe is like, great, I'm going to give you opportunities. Dynamics where you used to play small, settle, compromise, your self worth not really stand in that power that's needed to connect with that manifestation. So it's really just opportunities as you're up leveling and as you're stepping towards these goals to say, wow, I used to respond to this dynamic like this. How would my higher self respond? Or how would the version of me who has this manifestation respond? What is the level of self worth I'm being asked to step into? So that's really where Tess came from.
- [05:57]
Lacey
Yeah. And to highlight exactly what you're saying deeper the examples I gave. Right. It's like the contractor example, the friend example, the Bill example. Looking at what all three of those things are signaling in someone's life, most likely all three would be they're taking advantage of me. And so when you can see, whoa, these bigger things are coming through, that kind of all have the same theme. That's what we call a pattern. That's kind of what you're highlighting, Jessica, is like when things come through and trigger, trigger an old version of yourself. Not silly, teeny, you know, I mean, I know silly, teeny things maybe will be big for somebody.
- [06:35]
Jessica
Hey, Lacy, look at this.
- [06:36]
Lacey
Is it the hawk? Is it bad?
- [06:37]
Jessica
Oh, no, he went away. It was this humming, hummingbird literally touching the window. Whoa.
- [06:45]
Lacey
We've especially with your home birds are the big communicators when really transcending conversations, meetings, et cetera are happening. Last time it was a hawk, right?
- [06:58]
Jessica
Yes. Like so close. It's why they're always like getting my attention. Like, ah, the higher perspective.
- [07:04]
Lacey
And I could feel as we were having this conversation, even though this is content we've covered many times, I had a feeling though, exactly how it was being channeled and talked about is going to hit a little bit differently to the people who need to hear it right now. So that bird was definitely our messenger. Being like, yes, tapping right on the nose. On the nose. But yes, please take it away again. I just wanted to give that example. Like you were saying, how would our higher self respond? The universe, when you're calling in something and you're up leveling, even if it's not directly connected to the thing you're calling in, you're going to be tested with stuff that really really likes to dig into your low self worth. And so for someone like me, who's a codependent people pleaser, just kind of hit me with taking advantage of me. Like that would be a pattern that would show up for me.
- [07:58]
Jessica
That I think is the biggest thing with tests. And that's how you know it's like a real true test for you. Because it's hitting on the core wound that you're looking to overwrite to heal in this moment, in this season. And it's, it's probably hitting you in areas that you're not even manifesting in. You know, it's hitting you in what is the takeaway that you're having from this dynamic that's playing out? It's not the dynamic. The dynamic is like the model example you can enter change it with so many different things, but it's like, what is the meaning you are taking away from this dynamic? And based off of that meaning, and we'll go into deeper examples in a minute, but based off of that meaning, how did you typically respond if you thought, wow, I never get my needs met, Okay, I guess I just have to suck it up and like this contractor is taking advantage of me and damn, everything always happens to me. That would be leaning towards your old low self worth beliefs. And instead it's like, okay, I'm getting taken advantage of here. Before I used to make this mean that I couldn't get my needs met. But wait, I'm learning I can get my needs met and how do I now show up where I can actually get my needs met and people can honor my needs? And what do I have to say? Like, what fear do I have to step through or boundary I have to set to close and communicate to the universe? That's no longer my pattern. Like, I'm not settling for that anymore. Going back to the nervous system work we talk so much about with Janelle, if you are so overloaded with stress, you are going to see every minor inconvenience as a big deal because it feels like a big deal because you have no way to metabolize stress at like a healthy level. If you have that high level of stress where everything feels like a big deal, then it's like, let's do a real reset here. Let's put everything down. So something big has to change. Whether it's day to day life, what is causing that stress? Is it a misalignment? Is it a job? Is it a relationship? There is likely a big obstacle in the way that is causing that constant Barrage of things happening. Because that's not a typical pattern. How else would you see that, Lacy?
- [10:09]
Lacey
Yeah, and I just want to also name that there is an overarching energetic that seems to be happening year over year, certainly since 2020. That's when I think astrologically things became less flowy for a lot of people. So I do want to also say, for instance, all of 2025, the universe's great channeling and great message to us was it was the year of stripping. It was the year of stripping anything in your life that was like very obviously out of alignment. It was going to rip it right out from under you and it was going to feel like an earthquake for most of them. For some people, that was like me, the fires in la. I mean, it just, it hit on so many different levels for people. So that really also does go hand in hand with exactly what you're saying, Jessica. That looking at the bigger picture and looking at. And that's why we have things like the authentic self challenge where it's like, oh, whoa. I might think my life is really authentic and I might think I might be living my most authentic self. However, a great example now I've had a channeling that we're moving into this refinement area. We'll talk about that more in the brand soon. I've been talking about it on my sub stack and in this refinement area, it's less like the stripping earthquake energy. It's actually a lot more feminine, deep refining energy that doesn't feel like that jump off of a cliff, like, fuck em. I'm gonna leave the job, I'm gonna leave the person, I'm gonna burn the house down, right? It's like, wait, whose house is this? Whose five year planet? Like you're just waking up and that there is this greater energy that's happening in the world to align us even deeper than we ever knew or thought to our authentic self. And that's why this work, it continues to. To be effective for people because we are met with layer after layer as the energy of the world is evolving. We do this once and we're like, oh, we got it all figured out. We did to be magnetic and blah, blah. I unblocked myself and I know my authentic self. And it's like your authentic self's ever evolving. That's why you see someone like me or Jessica or the. I'll call them the people who have the mastery within our program continue to evolve into everything they want to manifest. It's not like, oh, they just got the house, you know, and this is on a material level, but it's like they continue to grow and grow in all facets of their life because we're meeting that energy with these tools and the tools just continue to work through it. So on a more granular level, what Jessica's saying is true. There's something greater that's out of alignment. If your nervous system can't hold every inconvenience is a really good word, inconvenience. I've been at that place where I'm so overloaded with stress that I'm like, everything is an explosion for me. I remember when I wasn't sleeping at night, my kids were so little, I was nursing. I had no spaciousness in my life, no resources outside of things. I could handle that. I'd manifest finances and stuff, but not on a nervous system level. And every little thing that popped up, I was like, I'm going to crumble. I want to quit everything I like. I couldn't, I couldn't handle everything was the straw that broke the camel's back. And that's a greater, greater issue like Jessica's talking about. That's the nervous system work in this program. However, if you aren't having that eruption. But it does feel like I can't catch a break. There is something greater out of alignment that this bigger energy is pushing you into. For instance, the refinement era. You've heard of talk about this a lot, the new paradigm with Jenna Zoe in Human Design. It's pushing you into the individual era, the new paradigm that's going to look very different for you in 2030 than everything you thought life would be and that you wanted in 2020. Right. So that's where the evolution of your practice and self within these tools year after year is so vital. Like, if you're the person, I've heard this before, it's like, oh, I did that. I did every workshop. I learned it. And it's like, are you still harnessing and you know, using the tools as the evolution evolves? You know, like I'm a direct channel to the universe telling me what's evolving in these moments. So. And I know, thank God, that I can come back to these tools time after time. But that's a really good example. The I can't catch a break. And every inconvenience, I wouldn't look at those as like one off tests and hurdles to pass. I would look at the overarching pattern that they're pointing to, such as the, the three Examples I gave being taken advantage of, right? Like, so there's something in my unconscious, subconscious, inner child that I still have to chip away at where I am still allowing people to take advantage of me. Because I don't feel worthy enough to just have my needs met and be met at where I'm at. And all the universe cares about at all when it comes to manifestation is do you feel worthy enough to have your needs met? Because at that place is where the manifestations you want exist. So when you go back to the old rhetoric of manifestation, like be in the frequency. That's the fucking frequency, right? Like the universe only cares about you getting to I. Wait, wait a second. On a subconscious level and a conscious level, wait, no, no, I'm done. Like, I deserve to have my needs met. So that's a three part conversation, the nervous system piece, you know, for being I can't catch a break. The overarching energetics at play, spiritually, esoterically, at the moment that are pushing you into this new era, this even more refined, authentic version of self than you even had access to, no matter how spiritual, how many gifts you had three years ago. It's different now for all of us. And also, can we read the pattern rather than focusing on every one off test to see what the overarching thing is that the universe needs us to actually heal and step into our worth rather than the toe stub, the tire, the whatever.
- [16:27]
Host
So I've been a fan of our place for years.
- [16:31]
Jessica
We have the always Pan and it
- [16:32]
Host
is definitely one of the most used things in our kitchen.
- [16:35]
Jessica
We cook in it almost every single day. Weeknight meals, big holiday dishes when everyone's over. Like, it's just one of those products that live on our stove and we
- [16:44]
Host
are consistently using it.
- [16:45]
Jessica
It is so functional and love that it doesn't have all of the chemicals and processing. It's like a really good quality pan.
- [16:53]
Host
But my newest obsession is the our place Wonder Oven Pro.
- [16:58]
Jessica
So we had this old toaster that
- [16:59]
Host
was constantly breaking and a separate clunky air fryer that had definitely seen better
- [17:05]
Jessica
days and probably wasn't coated with the best stuff.
- [17:07]
Host
And we used it so often we were like, we really need to upgrade. So instead of having two bulky appliances that took up so much counter space,
- [17:15]
Jessica
we upgraded to one beautiful appliance that can do both.
- [17:20]
Host
The Wonder Oven Pro.
- [17:21]
Jessica
It air fries, it bakes, it broils,
- [17:24]
Host
it toasts, it roasts, you name it,
- [17:26]
Jessica
I really believe we are using it every single day.
- [17:29]
Host
And this, this summer, I've been Obsessed with making grass fed burgers and putting it over salad. And the wonder oven cooks them to perfection.
- [17:38]
Jessica
Beautifully brown finish without having to turn
- [17:41]
Host
on a full oven or even we
- [17:43]
Jessica
don't have a grill, so this is such a good alternative.
- [17:47]
Host
I love how chic the design looks. Like matching our pan, it's something we
- [17:51]
Jessica
can leave out on our counter. It just looks so good. And most importantly, all of their cookware and all of their surfaces are made
- [17:57]
Host
without forever chemicals since day one and all third party tested to meet global safety standards, which gives me such peace of mind. So upgrade your kitchen experience today with our place.
- [18:09]
Jessica
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- [18:12]
Host
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- [18:38]
Jessica
Okay, so now I want to break down for each of those three things. What is the protocol? Like, what's the next step? So for the person who's like, everything's hitting me, you know, there's so much going on that person, there's likely a greater misalignment. And instead of going down the rabbit hole, like, okay, why did I get into that fender bender and why did this happen and why did that happen? What is the greater thing? Like, I don't feel what in my life, what is the thing that you feel is repeating again and again. And I would look at inside the be seen challenge, the authenticity audit and the signal audit. Those two areas will point you so directly to what is the thing that I keep saying, I'll take care of it later, I'll do it later, that I just haven't sat down and like, as my adult higher self said, like, I have to deal with this now. Usually when I face these. And I'm curious for you, Lacy, when you had everything happening with motherhood during that season, there's usually a point when I'm feeling like so overloaded, when I'm like, okay, everything needs to stop. Like, I need to like close the shop down. Whatever I'm trying to keep up with in this routine, I gotta take a break. Whatever I scheduled, it's canceled. Let me just have a moment of just stillness and get clear so I can even hear my thoughts for a second. Let me really prioritize my sleep that week. What is the thing to get me back to like absolute baseline? And what are like the Three things I could do to get there. For me, that's sleep, that's clearing busyness out of the way as best I can. Even if it's like I have an hour, no one talked to me for that hour, you know, and I'm going to go sit in silence outside, whatever that is. Like, can you make it a non negotiable to honor those things instead of continuing on the hamster wheel? I feel like so many times people get stuck because they just don't get off the hamster wheel enough to get perspective. How do you move through that?
- [20:44]
Lacey
Yeah, for me I sleep would definitely be at the top of it if I even had control over that since 2021 when my daughter was born and then my son who's just started sleeping through the night. But this week's a great example. We all co sleep and he fell out of bed three times and I'm like, so every fall out of bed is like a cry, wake up, my adrenaline's going and I have to get up in the middle of the night and do stuff for like two hours until I can wind down to go to sleep again. So sleep would be at the top of my list for sure if I didn't have any interruptions there and then for me, secondly is stability in my blood sugar is so important. Those crashes and what they do to my cortisol and my nervous system and for me the way that I do that is through protein. You know, enough protein every three hours is so big so that I can just have my wits about me and not have those like very deep crashes of anxiety. I don't have any depletion, I don't have energy, snappiness, agitation on top of everything. The third would definitely be what you said, everything's unscheduled ever. I like cut every string possible. I walk away from everything possible. And just like you said, the next would be an inward practice that gives me like disassociated above perspective of self. Whether that is doing dis for me it can be transcendental meditation is really, really, really big for me and nature. Just like having no access to phone, anything to really disconnect, to reconnect and get perspective.
- [22:19]
Jessica
I also have noticed too movement for me is so grounding. I've just noticed over the years like it's night and day before I go on a walk and after I go on a walk and sometimes I'll cycle through different variations of the di. So like I'll start with, you know, release energy and I'll be Yawning. And I can feel my body relieving all the tension. And then I'll move into like, okay, now I actually have space to like process my thoughts. So now I'm gonna go do something that's more like either inner child or validation or abundant life or whatever. Like I'm able to move my energy even with the DI usage on that walk where it's like, okay, let me release. Okay, now that I'm released, now what do I want to fill this in. And then I'll always end it with just blank stillness and like no music. Headphones out, listening to the birds. Okay, what wants to come in now after having processed? I know it like could take a while. It's like 45 minute to an hour walk.
- [23:16]
Host
But I'm telling you, you, it is
- [23:18]
Jessica
like you're a different person on the other side.
- [23:22]
Lacey
I walk every day and it is the most, it's my church, it's the most regulating, connected perspective, refreshing thing in my life.
- [23:35]
Jessica
So good. So if you guys are there where it's like thing after thing, have this perspective moment, do whatever you need to do to get back to baseline so you can have some perspective to really understand what's going on, what's out of alignment, what do I keep getting the invitation from the universe to change or shift and I'm not doing it, that I probably have to actually take the step and do it. So how to spot a test. Couple crucial things. Does it impede on a boundary you set for yourself? Did you say, I'm no longer doing this? And then all of a sudden you're asked to do that? Did you say, I want to have the whole weekend free and then your fiance books you on dinner plans all weekend? You know, what are things, big or small, that are PD on a boundary? 2. Do you feel shame or embarrassment around it? So is this something where you're like, especially when it comes to opportunity tests. Let's say you're manifesting a specific job dynamic or you're manifesting a home, a partner. Yeah. Is there a part of you that's feeling shameful for having that thing or wanting that thing? That's an opportunity for a test. Does it make you settle or feel small? Especially in relationship dynamics? Like, do you feel like you have to be a smaller version of yourself to be welcome, to be yourself, to be authentic? That could be a test opportunity. The biggest one is, is it pressing on an insecurity, core wound or shadow that you are actively working through right now? That's kind of the Biggest telltale, especially when it comes to collecting those patterns of like, hmm, I had these pretty big events that were very destabilizing kind of show up lately. I wonder what the threat is. And if you take them down, they will likely all point to that same pattern that you were trying to work on. And then you can kind of very clearly say, oh, the universe isn't punishing me. It's not saying you don't have enough self worth yet, like we're gonna punish you until you do. It's saying, hey, are you ready to choose yourself? Are you ready to see your own value? Or if not, that's okay. You can still go down this rabbit hole, but we're gonna come back again and see. Are you ready to step into your fullest self? Because here's an opportunity for you to do so.
- [25:58]
Lacey
I agree. So everybody who's listening right now, these are the bullet points we have in the program and that we say on every test episode. These are the red flags that something truly is a test. And you could see listening to all of those, obviously, every person's experience is different with what's coming up. But, like, the flat tire doesn't really meet a lot of those, so it's like every inconvenience in life or I can't catch a break. You could filter quite a bit through those. You know, that bullet point list of questions we just gave. And basically anything that's not a yes on those, let it go and realize, wow, it is pushing. Like there is something the universe is trying to do to push me into greater alignment or I might need to do some nervous system work to regulate based on what we talked about. We do when we're overwhelmed. Right. So, yeah, I just think that bullet point, which we'll have in the show notes, you can always come back to and just be like, oh, yeah, right. Every little obstacle is not a test because they don't match what this is asking of me. Foreign
- [27:11]
Host
interrupting this episode. If you are someone who is manifesting, finding alignment, fulfillment in their life, in their day to day of reconnecting with their authenticity, of stepping through the fear of being seen in their gifts and their truest expression right now at to be Magnetic, we have our pathway membership. And inside there, we are hosting our be seen challenge, where we are looking at all the limiting beliefs, fears, programming that we picked up and learned to disconnect us from who we are, authentically reprogram them so we can start expressing from our fullest, most magnetic version of
- [27:50]
Jessica
self inside the pathway.
- [27:51]
Host
You'll also find our how to manifest workshop, our inner child and cheddar workshop, our money workshop, all of our deep imaginings which are our self hypnosis, subconscious reprogramming, audios that help you rewire your brain to stop looping on old fears, limiting beliefs, programming that was never ours to begin with and to start to see our fully authentic, true worthy selves. And from that place we can manifest anything we want. We have the one stop shop for everything manifestation that's rooted in science and psychology. So if you are curious about joining right now is the time and right now you can use code expanded all caps E x P A N D e D for $20 off your first month of with the pathway or check out the link in the show notes.
- [28:51]
Jessica
I think the other big thing to name with Tess is at least my process when I have the bigger ones is like, oh, this dynamic is frustrating. What's happening here? And then it's like, oh, right, this is an opportunity. But like the initial snap when it hits, you're like, what? What's going on? You know, what? What is happening here? This is frustrating. And you can almost see your automatic response and whatever that response is, pause. We have this protocol in our authenticity challenge and we're gonna also have it at the end of the be seen challenge in the closing week. But the second you recognize that, ooh, this hit something deeper in me. Like, this is feeling different than just like your everyday issue.
- [29:37]
Host
Immediately pause.
- [29:39]
Jessica
Do not act on it, do not move from it, don't make interpretations about it. Just take a second, settle back into your grounded energy. Do a reset di, do a calming di. Go for a walk. You don't need to solve it right now. I think that is one of the biggest lessons I learned in passing tests
- [29:59]
Host
is to remove the urgency.
- [30:02]
Lacey
Come back to neutral or you're not going to in real time. That's why we have so many tools of regulating your nervous system or when you're in freezer fun or you know, there's. We have tons of tools on this. I like to give myself a 24 hour rule when it's really something big because often within 24 hours I'll come back to some form of neutrality and have a perspective that's in a little bit more maturation than my inner child initially is reactive towards. You know, so I agree with that. I think the pause is so that's like a skill to take through life that will just change your life.
- [30:38]
Jessica
I actually love how you said that.
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Host
I think our first instinct to A
- [30:44]
Jessica
test is probably our inner child always
- [30:48]
Lacey
that it's always hitting on something
- [30:51]
Jessica
interesting is that you can immediately clock and separate from your initial feeling to be like, ooh, whoa. My inner child is not pleased with this. Okay, we're gonna, we're gonna talk to her in a second. But first we're gonna take a pause. Like that's exciting to me because I'm like, oh, she's just worked up. Let's talk to her in a second.
- [31:14]
Lacey
I know. And in the moment, it's so hard even for me sometimes I'll like when a real trigger hits. I'll do our safety. We have so many DI's on this and I'll do different versions of them. And I' like, I'm definitely not going to sleep tonight. I'm going to be fucking spinning out all night on this. And then what I tend to do for that and it's a half or half if it works in that moment when I'm like in the bed and it's just like coming up and I'm running it over, my nervous system's still in this activated heightened space. No matter. After doing like not eft tapping but doing like walking myself through our EMDR inspired practices, in those moments I'll be in bed and I'm like, okay, I just have to turn off all thoughts and completely disconnect all thoughts to let myself down regulate. But usually at some point in the 24 hour mark, I'll be like, oh, oh, I see this a little bit more clearly. I love rdi. Forget how we have it named, but the nonviolent communication one gives a lot of conflict. Conflict. Because then I go, oh, that was really just their need or its need or the thing's need and my needs this and they're just different needs, you know what I mean? So getting to that place of maturity which you can't fake, it's a journey and I'm an emotional in human design. So it's like I have to go. And once the train starts moving, whether I want it to get off or not, it's just, it has to run
- [32:40]
Jessica
its full course that I think that's so good. Daniel's an emotional too, and I'll, I'll try to guide him. When I can see him going to his snap decision, like, like, let's sleep on this one.
- [32:49]
Lacey
Let's not maybe spend that, turn that email or text.
- [32:53]
Jessica
We're good right now, definitely. But I think that's so good for people to know, like that snap decision, that snap feeling And I love how you named, almost like the rumination of the test, how it can sometimes, especially if it's those big ones, feel all consuming, where you're like, I can't stop thinking about it. You're calling every friend. You're like, what do you think about this perspective? How do you think I should handle this? Or. Or, yeah, or you're just worse. Is someone going to AI? And they're like, how do you think? Blah, blah, blah. Before you ask AI, before you phone a friend, you have to get to your baseline of pause. Whenever I do this with Daniel and he can see that I'm really trying to work out the thing yet he's like, this seems like a great conversation to have in your journal. And I'm like, okay, got it. I've definitely. I'm not. I'm not at my higher self yet. I am still processing.
- [33:49]
Lacey
Little Jessica and little Lacey are just freaking out, freaking out. And I get to see this with. I have, you know, a five year old and a two year old. I get to be like, I get to see like, what that looks like,
- [34:05]
Jessica
you know, but it's so, it's so rewarding. When you do take that pause. When you do come back to baseline, the path and the pattern becomes so much more clear. What's being asked of you becomes so much more clear. And the decision of passing the test is always, always, always from a place of your higher self. From abundance. It's not from scarcity, it's not from fear, it's not from reactivity. It's not from proving yourself. That's why we have a really good signal question, like, is any part of me trying to take this action to prove myself, to prove my worth, to prove my whatever? It's not coming from that place. It's coming from that deep deservingness that isn't really attached to your ego. And you feel it. It's like something in my body, at least it feels like something drops out when I hit that awareness. The tension goes from like. And then it goes, oh, oh, yeah, okay. It's. It's not really that big a deal. We can figure this out. It's fine. And that's when you know you're ready
- [35:07]
Lacey
to pass the test and then to be communicative again.
- [35:10]
Jessica
Yeah.
- [35:11]
Lacey
Whatever the situation is.
- [35:14]
Jessica
Okay, so for anyone else who's like, okay, what? You know, going over those steps again, take the pause, take the reset, then you can reframe the test as like, what is the pattern here? And then you can actually review it we have a couple different journal prompts in the program, in the authenticity challenge. We have it in the Be Seen challenge and closing week of just how you can reevaluate the test through the lens of what is being asked of you here that wants you to connect with your higher self version. No time is a test. I feel like people forget this. No time is a test saying you're not worthy, prove your worth. That's not what's ever happening. It's saying, you forgot your worth. If you remembered it, how would you show up here? So it's like having that reframe of this isn't punishing. This isn't trying to pinpoint a flaw in you or something that's wrong with you. So it's trying to say, hey, we see more for you. We see better for you. We see more alignment for you. Can you see that? And how would you respond to this from that place?
- [36:16]
Host
That is the invitation.
- [36:18]
Lacey
So now anybody who's in question. Yes, just come back to this episode.
- [36:23]
Jessica
Yes, this is a really, really good one. When you're having that moment of panic and freak out that you will get through the tests. And if you don't pass the test, if you're like, oh, my God, I acted immediately. I didn't pause, I didn't reframe, and I totally freaked out.
- [36:36]
Host
You can repair.
- [36:38]
Jessica
That's the next step.
- [36:39]
Lacey
Repair. Repair. It's there for you. That is another form of walking through magnetism. Because it's really fucking scary to repair. It goes against most of our initial instinct. And it actually feels so awesome after. No matter what the other party's experience is. It's like, oh, no, I. I was my highest self there.
- [36:58]
Jessica
I think that's something that I've started to kind of get excited for more because I think sometimes when you don't pass a test, there's a bit of shame or guilt that comes in. You're like, dang, I wasn't my highest self. I let my inner child, like, run the show. I didn't show up in my best, and I feel embarrassed about it or I feel shameful about it. I'm stuck with these feelings now, like, what do I do? And being able to see, like, okay, is there a repair that could be done here? Is there a kind communication? Can I own that I was out of integrity? Maybe it doesn't connect with someone else. Maybe it's just like an internal thing. Sometimes with tests, you could make the meaning be about you. And then you're like, inner critic is yelling at you all week, and you're like, dang, I let my inner critic yell at me all week. Okay, great. Well, you can't undo that. So what can you do now? I'm gonna repair by honoring myself the rest of the week and doing something I love. Like, what is the opposite of how you responded, Even in a small way that you can start to repair where you can metabolize. Like, it's okay to make.
- [38:01]
Host
Make mistakes. It's okay to not pass the test.
- [38:04]
Jessica
You'll always have more opportunities. It's just part of life. You're not a bad person. They'll keep coming. Nothing irreversible has happened.
- [38:13]
Host
You are okay.
- [38:15]
Lacey
Agreed.
- [38:16]
Host
Okay, well, thank you, guys.
- [38:18]
Jessica
Pass your test or don't. You'll be okay.
- [38:21]
Lacey
And certainly if you're doing the challenge, you've initiated some magnetism because you're changing energy. So the universe course in those moments, quite often, we'll start to send you tests. So I think this will be a very supportive episode during this time.
- [38:33]
Host
Yes.
- [38:34]
Jessica
All right. Bye, guys.
- [38:36]
Lacey
Bye.