FAMILY TRIPS: Live From Amsterdam!

Summary

Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers: FAMILY TRIPS: Live From Amsterdam!

Released on July 17, 2025

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Introduction and Setting

In this vibrant live episode of Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers, hosts Seth Meyers and Josh Meyers welcome listeners to Amsterdam, recorded at their long-time theater home, Boom Chicago. The live studio audience adds an energetic dynamic, contrasting the usual remote recordings. The brothers express their excitement about the special live format and introduce a lineup of familiar guests, including friends and family members.

Josh Meyers [00:17]: "Recorded in front of a live studio audience in Amsterdam and our old theater of residence, Boom Chicago, and multiple guests. So you're going to see a real parade of friendlies in this episode."

Family Anecdotes and Early Guests

The Meyers brothers start by reminiscing about their parents, Larry and Hillary Myers, affectionately referred to as the Poncas. They share humorous anecdotes about their parents' travels and interactions in Amsterdam, highlighting the strong family bonds that underpin their trips.

Hillary Myers [10:17]: "Well, every time that you two were here and we were all alone back home, we came over for Thanksgivings. And then I used to come spring breaks from my school job, I would bring my family over here."

Brendan Hunt's Tron Ride Adventure

Guest Brendan Hunt narrates an adventurous tale about attempting to sneak onto the highly sought-after Tron ride at Disney World in Florida. Despite numerous obstacles, including sold-out tickets and high prices, Brendan, aided by his son Finn, devises a clever plan to bypass security. Their escapade not only grants them access to the ride but also earns Brendan an unexpected feature in a local newspaper.

Brendan Hunt [35:56]: "So, we're fucking gonna ride this thing. We skipped this whole line. We didn't go."

Josh Meyers [35:57]: "He described it as... a perfect crime after all."

Peter Gross's Art Smuggling Story

Andrew Moskos and Peter Gross join the conversation, bringing their unique stories to the table. Peter Gross shares a captivating account from his childhood in Romania, where his father orchestrated the smuggling of valuable paintings during the height of the Cold War. This daring operation not only ensured the preservation of family heritage but also immersed young Peter in the complexities of geopolitical tensions.

Peter Gross [57:08]: "So my dad is very mild-mannered and not, you know, he's calm in some instances, but he gets very obsessive. So he knows this is happening where he's going to sort of smuggle these paintings out."

Peter Gross [60:17]: "In addition to anything you may have seen me in or know my writing credits, I'm also an international art smuggler."

Jill Benjamin's Spider Pranks and Surprise Encounters

Comedienne Jill Benjamin recounts the playful and enduring prank war with her mother involving a plastic tarantula. From placing it on pillows to more elaborate setups in restaurants, the pranks have become a cherished tradition. Jill also shares an amusing story about an unexpected surprise hookup reunion at a Boom Chicago show, highlighting the unpredictable nature of live performances.

Jill Benjamin [41:11]: "So then my mom does it back to me, and now she uses my kids to get it to me. And so she'll, like, sneak it in my suitcase."

Jill Benjamin [47:18]: "Don't surprise people if it was a one-night hookup, in fact, in Edinburgh."

Ike Barinholtz's Sunburn and Beach Mishaps

Ike Barinholtz brings a lighthearted yet relatable story about his misadventures in Amsterdam, including a severe sunburn from a beach trip. His tale underscores the humorous side of family trips gone awry, complete with interactions with curious strangers and the challenges of performing under unexpected circumstances.

Ike Barinholtz [73:09]: "So we sit there, and they're topless, and I'm just, like, trying to be cool, you know, like, staring at whatever..."

Ike Barinholtz [75:36]: "And so I go backstage at one point, and I'm just like. I'm in such pain. And I sit in a Chair."

Audience Q&A Session

The episode concludes with an engaging Q&A session, where Seth and Josh pose fun, family-oriented questions to the live audience. Topics range from ideal vacation types to favorite modes of transportation, allowing audience members to share their personal preferences and experiences.

Seth Meyers [81:01]: "What is your favorite means of transportation?"

Audience Member [81:14]: "Train."

Conclusion

The Meyers brothers wrap up the episode with heartfelt thanks to their guests and audience, celebrating the shared memories and laughter that define their family trips. The live format in Amsterdam provided a unique and dynamic backdrop for an evening filled with stories, jokes, and familial warmth.

Josh Meyers [83:59]: "Thank you, guys. Sufi. Have a great one, everybody."

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This episode of Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers offers a delightful blend of humor, heartfelt family stories, and entertaining guest anecdotes, all set against the picturesque backdrop of Amsterdam. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the podcast, this live recording captures the essence of what makes family trips unforgettable.

Transcript

[Josh Meyers]

This live episode of Family Trips from Amsterdam was recorded in partnership with Airbnb. Bye, Bashi.

[Seth Meyers]

Hi, Sufi.

[Josh Meyers]

A very exciting episode today. Yeah, I really.

[Seth Meyers]

I'm super excited for it. I was excited for it. It was exciting when it happened, and I'm really excited that it's coming out.

[Josh Meyers]

Recorded in front of a live studio audience in Amsterdam and our old theater of residence, Boom Chicago, and multiple guests. So you're going to. There's a real parade of friendlies in this episode. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And if you are usually a listener to the pod and want to get some visuals, they're more. They're more dynamic, I think, than our normal zoom boxes.

[Josh Meyers]

That's true. Because we're all there in person together. Yeah. And some familiar faces. You're going to see our parents. Yeah. The Poncas.

[Seth Meyers]

Yep.

[Josh Meyers]

You're going to see Ike Barinholtz, who this morning nominated for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy for his incredible work on the studio. So congratulations to our dear friend Ike on that. Well deserved. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Sal Saperstein.

[Josh Meyers]

Sal Saperstein. Brendan Hunt is gonna be there. Pete Gross is gonna be there. Andrew Moskos, who's one of the founders of our theater, is gonna be there, and Jill Benjamin's gonna be there. And I'm very excited for all of you to meet Jill Benjamin for the first time.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. If you haven't met her, she makes.

[Josh Meyers]

An impression, but it was cool. And, you know, we. We were also cognizant of the fact that, you know, it was in a theater. We had to turn over the room. It was during a comedy festival. But I think we could have gone longer with everybody who joined us on stage. So. Yeah.

[Brendan Hunt]

Enjoy Family chips with the Mice Brothers. Family chips with the M. Go.

[Larry Myers]

It's really a pleasure to introduce two great comedians. Friends, friends, almost family. Please give it up for Seth and Josh Myers.

[Brendan Hunt]

Yeah.

[Josh Meyers]

Do a little spin. Do a little spin. Do a little spin. Yeah. This is so exciting that you dressed the way you used to dress in Amsterdam.

[Seth Meyers]

Absolutely, I did.

[Josh Meyers]

And I also dressed the way I used to dress in Amsterdam because I did not change who I was when I lived abroad. I did not become a different person.

[Seth Meyers]

Seth asked me.

[Josh Meyers]

Oh, look at this. Oh.

[Seth Meyers]

Seth asked me this afternoon. Dewey.

[Josh Meyers]

Cheers.

[Seth Meyers]

Do they have video? Will they be recording this? And I said yes. And then when he showed up, I was like, you heard? I said yes.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah. I put a lot of thought into this and. And whether I should go home and change. But the reality was there's too much to do. I'm Here with my nine year old son. And I thought, I thought it was more important to have a family trip than it was to dress up for audio medium. So here we are.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Seeing Seth when he's on hiatus, it's like a week into a hiatus. It's like when you're in a natural history museum and you see like a CRO Magnon man.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

You just let, you let it go.

[Josh Meyers]

I work my way slowly back down the evolutionary picture chart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you.

[Seth Meyers]

You're welcome.

[Josh Meyers]

It's been very exciting. We're already off to a great start of the trip. But you had a very harrowing moment this morning. You had to call in a health check.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Mom and dad said, we'll see you at like 9 or 10 for breakfast. We went to bed at 10 last night. We all said goodnight at 10.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And I said, yeah, that makes sense. You know, everyone's a bit jet lagged and we, you know, we just landed yesterday morning, so we knew it was gonna be a big sleep. You know, my wife and I, we Woke up at 9 and we went to breakfast. I was texting mom and dad, no response. At 10, no response. At 11, no response. And I went to the front desk of their hotel and I said, I'm sorry, my parents aren't responding. I need to make sure they're okay. And they called the room and that's what woke them up at 11:30. They had slept for 13 and a half hours.

[Josh Meyers]

And let me just say, yeah, give it up. I am, I'm so happy they weren't dead for a couple of reasons. One, I care about them so much. Two, the worst person to find out would be from a Dutch hotel employee.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Meyers]

Who'd be like, yes, they are dead. You had good instincts. They are both deceased.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. I'm being told there's a very strange smell coming from the room. It sounds like two dead persons.

[Josh Meyers]

Go without saying, we will provide a late checkout. I had a real. And again, you know, we don't need to apologize for these hyper accurate Dutch impressions, but we shall be doing them a lot. So I brought my son to rent bikes and I had a real great Dutch customer service. Make some noise if you're actually Dutch in the room tonight. And make some noise if you'll acknowledge that on a customer service level you can often be impossible. Great. Okay. So I went to rent the bikes. I had a reservation. My reservation was for yesterday, but we got caught up with stuff and so we didn't go until today. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

That's a problem.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah, well, yeah, it's like you were there. But then he opened up the computer screen. So it took like five minutes to get to his realization of what I was claiming happened. And then he looked at the computer screen, he's like, no, you took them out yesterday. And I was like, no, we didn't. And he goes, yeah, it says here you did. And I'm like, but why would I be here? Like, what's the scam you think I'm running? That we're just coming every day, getting a couple bikes, selling them on the black market?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, I don't know that's your scam, sir. I don't understand it either.

[Josh Meyers]

Yes, but very exciting. And also very exciting. Took my son Ash, just had a fable for lunch. Yeah, Fabo. Not a sponsor. I want to stress, not a sponsor because they told me they don't need it.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, they're busy.

[Josh Meyers]

But I will say a little heartbreaking went into the fable. There's one. Just a couple doors real quick.

[Seth Meyers]

Just fabo. For those of you who don't know.

[Josh Meyers]

It'S like a Dutch word meaning Michelin.

[Seth Meyers]

Starred restaurant, formerly coin operated, but now you can tap with your phone food.

[Andrew Moskos]

Out of a wall.

[Josh Meyers]

Yes. But now I will say the one I'm at, not one morsel of food in the wall. It looks like a old. It looks like the monkey room in 28 days later, after they all escaped. Oh, just like empty. And then you just go order at the front, which is a little bit.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, yeah. That's what you don't want.

[Josh Meyers]

No, that's like going to Benihana. And they're like, we make it in the back now. Yeah, I want to get my food out of the wall. But we still got some French fries and a hamburger.

[Seth Meyers]

That's exciting.

[Josh Meyers]

And he's still. How was it, Ash? Good, good. Great.

[Seth Meyers]

I do have to. We want to shout out our sponsor, Airbnb.

[Josh Meyers]

Shout out. Thanks for sending us here.

[Seth Meyers]

They sent us. Here they are. They're a great partner. They've been sponsoring the show. My wife and I and my mother in law and my parents are going to go on an Airbnb experience to learn the history of Amsterdam through a beer glass.

[Josh Meyers]

That's fantastic.

[Seth Meyers]

Very excited about that.

[Josh Meyers]

I feel like Ike also did that.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, but there are, I mean, there's so many. I was looking at like different Airbnb experiences they have. And there's like, there's private tours of art galleries, there's, you know, bike tours to places that if you Were just coming here as a tourist, you might not think to go, and there's a lot of great things there. And then you're staying at.

[Josh Meyers]

Staying at Airbnb. It's fantastic. It's really nice to have that neighborhood experience that we used to have when we lived here. And so, yeah, it's just been fantastic so far. And, yeah, Ash and I feel like a real, real couple of Dutch bros. Yeah. Yeah. We're just. We're just crushing the Dutch brodom. And again, I'm just so excited about the outfit. Are those. Actually, I know the jacket's new, but are the pants old school?

[Seth Meyers]

The pants are vintage. They're my vintage. And my wife keeps telling me I need to get rid of all these pants.

[Josh Meyers]

Sure.

[Seth Meyers]

And I say if I get rid of them, she says, I suggest I should donate them, but I say no one wants them, and if I donate them, they're just gonna end up in the trash. And that's just too sad for me to bear. So I keep them and I wear them. And we're all celebrating it.

[Josh Meyers]

We are all celebrating it. And so I guess the theme song. We're going to play the theme song now, which might be just a musical style. The farthest away from the music you used to dance to in that outfit.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, sure.

[Josh Meyers]

But just while we play the theme song, can you dance the way you used to dance?

[Brendan Hunt]

Sure.

[Josh Meyers]

All right. Yeah. Cue the song. Did your glasses fly off?

[Brendan Hunt]

Yeah.

[Josh Meyers]

You danced so hard, your glasses went into the second row.

[Seth Meyers]

Well, they were here. I wasn't. I wasn't thinking about it. I wasn't thinking about it.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah, there we go.

[Seth Meyers]

But we got to bring up guests now.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah. Let's start it up.

[Seth Meyers]

We got a lot. Big, big friends of the show.

[Josh Meyers]

Yep.

[Seth Meyers]

They've been on a couple times.

[Josh Meyers]

Yep.

[Seth Meyers]

Our parents give it up for Larry and Hillary Myers.

[Josh Meyers]

The Poncas, everybody. That's the difference between Josh and I is he was like, I don't know if there's stairs there. And I was like, climb up. Oh, wait, you guys will go over there. Yeah. Yep. We were. Soak it in, Larry. Soak it in. Were you surprised that you slept until the health check?

[Hillary Myers]

No. I always get kind of for putschkied when you come to Europe, so it takes me a while to.

[Josh Meyers]

Thanks for immediately using a word nobody knows.

[Hillary Myers]

I think they can guess what it means.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

[Jill Benjamin]

We had no idea what time it was because we have a clock problem.

[Josh Meyers]

It's true.

[Jill Benjamin]

See that? We have a clock problem. Hillary Insists on buying analog clocks. And she's bought these cute little clocks, except they break in about.

[Hillary Myers]

I don't want to. I can't do the math on the other ones.

[Jill Benjamin]

And she thinks if you buy a digital clock, it has to be 24 hours. There's not an option. So she bought.

[Josh Meyers]

She bought a weird clock that says the time is now seven plus two minus four.

[Jill Benjamin]

So she has a clock that you can't see. And so she got up and she looked at the clock at one point and then went back to sleep. Wait, I can't see.

[Josh Meyers]

Wa. Did she pack it? Yes.

[Jill Benjamin]

Oh, absolutely.

[Hillary Myers]

We don't go anywhere without a clock.

[Jill Benjamin]

We go nowhere without an analog pocket.

[Hillary Myers]

Bring your mic down. I go nowhere without a clock.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah, actually, you know what? That's so crazy. Put your mic down. In 2025. That is the least valuable travel trip. Never go anywhere without a clock.

[Seth Meyers]

You guys came over here a lot when we lived here.

[Hillary Myers]

Many. I think we're probably. This might have been. Might be. You told me to put it down.

[Seth Meyers]

That was a joke. That was a joke.

[Josh Meyers]

Okay. We're only 51 years in. She hasn't quite picked up on my sarcasm.

[Hillary Myers]

I think this might be trip number 15.

[Josh Meyers]

15 times to Amsterdam. That's really amazing.

[Hillary Myers]

Well, every.

[Josh Meyers]

Go ahead. No, go ahead.

[Jill Benjamin]

It's your podcast. Go ahead.

[Hillary Myers]

Well, every time that you two were here and we were all alone back home, we came over for Thanksgivings. And then I used to come spring breaks from my school job, I would bring my family over here. And then medical emergencies, I, of course, came.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, yeah.

[Hillary Myers]

If you remember when you had your tonsils out, I told my administration at school I had to go to Amsterdam because my son was having his tonsils out. And they said, well, how old is he? Six. And I said, no, he's 22. And I said, but no, but none of my children are going under the knife without me being there.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, yeah, true.

[Hillary Myers]

So I flew over. I believe I stayed for a week, maybe longer than I needed to, but I was definitely needed.

[Josh Meyers]

I was touch and go. You were.

[Hillary Myers]

So when I go to the hospital the day after your surgery, what do I see but some woman in the bed next to you getting out of bed wearing a thong. Now, I'm not a big thong fan.

[Jill Benjamin]

I like them pretty much.

[Josh Meyers]

It's been one of the more divisive issues in your marriage.

[Hillary Myers]

And I thought a woman should have a right to put on regular underwear. When you're in a hospital with a man in the other bed, that is not Your husband?

[Josh Meyers]

Mm. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

I think for some women, a thong is their regular underwear.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Hillary Myers]

It can't be.

[Josh Meyers]

It can't be. No. I will just say that it was Truly again. I went to the doctor a hundred times before I was 22 years old with either strep throat or bronchitis. And they gave me medicine and sent me home. The second time I got sick in the Netherlands, they were like, we're gonna take out your tonsils because you're just gonna keep getting sick. And so I had Truly one of the great experiences with the healthcare system here. And I can't say enough about it. And yet all my mom can do is talk about this thong. Literally, 28 years later, she's like, the thong, though. Yeah.

[Hillary Myers]

But there was the other part, which is where you lived. And the Dutch, I don't know whether you realize this, they're not big on ice. Like getting a drink with ice and all he needed. Cause he kept running a bad fever and he wanted ice in his. And there was no ice in the apartment they were in. So Josh used to strap a garbage can.

[Seth Meyers]

A little trash can.

[Hillary Myers]

Little trash can. On the back of his bike and bike to Boom Chicago, fill it up with ice, come back and bring it to his brother.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Hillary Myers]

And every morning, I used to have to. To take the sheets off his bed. Cause he would sweat through them and take them to a coin operation.

[Josh Meyers]

What are we doing here?

[Hillary Myers]

Take them to a coin operated Laundromat. I guess it's a Laundromat. Are they called laundromats here?

[Josh Meyers]

The podcast is called Family Trips, not clock problems or song complaints.

[Jill Benjamin]

Well, it was a trip for her.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was a trip.

[Jill Benjamin]

It was a trip.

[Hillary Myers]

So anyhow, it all worked out perfectly.

[Josh Meyers]

Do you remember there was the first hotel you stayed at? You had a lot of love for Hotel Washington?

[Hillary Myers]

The best.

[Jill Benjamin]

The thing I remember about the Hotel Washington, it's not far from the museum plan. Is that Seth, who's. As you could see, when Josh helped Hillary up the steps and Seth didn't move, he's a little bit more blase about creature comforts for us. And so he went with some friends from Boom Chicago to check out hotels, and he went to see this hotel, and he said, do you think this is gonna be all right for my parents? And his colleague said, I don't know. Are your parents homeless?

[Josh Meyers]

It wasn't. The first hotel I looked at was not that nice.

[Jill Benjamin]

But it turned out it wasn't a bad hotel. Actually, it was okay. It was okay. People were really Nice.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. We have a thing in our family where we'll try to surprise each other. We call it juking each other. And there was a classic juke. I think it was an Easter where I was living here. You had already moved back, and mom came to spend Easter with me, and dad came to surprise her and me and you came to surprise dad and her and me. And we would always meet anytime. Like, people would land and they'd take a nap, and we would always eat at the Palladium restaurant on the Leids of Plein. The Palladium salad is an excellent salad. And it was sort of just like a rolling series of jukes. You came to meet me, and we were having lunch. And then dad came and you were so confused. And then he came and everyone was confused. And it was fantastic.

[Hillary Myers]

Fantastic.

[Josh Meyers]

I would say the worst part about that, and I'm gonna guess for you, dad, is the difference in how excited she was to see me after. Cause she was like. For her, it was like, I got away from Larry. You are like a Lifetime movie character.

[Jill Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Josh Meyers]

You don't leave my house.

[Seth Meyers]

It feels strange that I feel like Dad. I feel like you haven't said a lot right now, which. This is new. So what are any Amsterdam memories you have of coming over to visit us or otherwise?

[Jill Benjamin]

Not really, no. No. I have an odd memory is we were here one year and there was. We met a guy from Boston named Tom Kielty.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, yeah.

[Jill Benjamin]

And he just sort of adopted us. And he would come to the Boom show every night, and he would hang out with us in the old lights, playing theater in the Boom Bar. And the thing about this guy Tom Kilty was he just showed up. But his opening line, every time he would come in, he would sort of amble in. He'd go, bad news. And whatever it was, the next day you'd see him become bad news. And Seth said that if he ever wrote an autobiography, it would be called Bad News and Other Stories Years Later. Roll ahead. We saw him in Boston a couple times, if I'm not mistaken, when you guys were back. I'm watching 60 Minutes one night, and Steve Kroft is doing this thing about old buildings in Boston. And he's walking down this old street and this guy, Tom Kilty walks out of the building. He looks, ah, Steve Kroft. Bad news, dude. But he was such an odd character that we met here.

[Josh Meyers]

You were on the boat with mom and her sisters and our grandmother. Yeah. I feel like that's an iconic story.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Well, I mean, it's sort of a two parter. Because also your brother was here. Uncle Kurt and your sister Alex and your Uncle Kurt smoke a little weed. I've never known you to smoke any weed. But we're on this boat, it's just us and Alex has a joint and you take a pull of this joint. One, one. And our grandmother Addie was probably in her 80s at the time, and you just were convinced that Addie was very cold. And we had to get the boat back to the dock. And you kept saying, addie's cold, we should go, we gotta get back. And Addie kept saying, I'm fine, I'm fine. But you were insistent and it was just like it was a bad go of it on the weed for you. And it didn't seem. It didn't seem like it mixed well for you.

[Josh Meyers]

No.

[Seth Meyers]

Cut to.

[Josh Meyers]

It's a terrible side effect when you smoke weed and your loved ones get colder.

[Seth Meyers]

But then cut to. We went to the Cokenhof. I had rented a 12 passenger van to take these, you know, my mother.

[Josh Meyers]

Beautiful tulips at the old Cocoa.

[Seth Meyers]

Beautiful tulips. And, you know, a great thing for the older set to do. And Addie, I think, really appreciated it. And we were about to get back in the van to drive back and Kurt had the rest of a joint and you had a little bit of that. And I was very worried with how it was gonna go. But I had the cassette tape of the Rolling Stones, Hot Rocks, which I feel like was like hit so well for you and Kurt. And you guys rode up front with me and you were singing and dancing and playing the drums on the dashboard. And I was like, oh, maybe weed does suit her.

[Jill Benjamin]

So here's the last time she smoked pot. I mean, in college and all that stuff. Yeah, that's a long time ago, though. So we're at a New Year's party with some friends, just the four of us, and I go to the bathroom and on the back of the toilet is a big candle and a roach on the top of it. And I know that these guys had college age girls and they had had a party the night before. So I bring this roach out. I go, hey, look what your girls left. I said, oh, good New Year's, we'll smoke this. And pot's so different than we remember. And so we each had like two hits on this joint and we were messed up. I should not have been driving home. We live in forested country roads, there's no traffic where we are. But I shouldn't have been Driving. But anyway, we get home, and you have to walk down a few steps from our driveway to our front door. So I walk Hillary, she says, hold on. Hold on to me. I can't get down. So we go down. We go down, and I open the door, and we had two dogs at the time, so I'll let the dogs out. And she goes into the house, and I let the dogs out. I come back in, she's laying on the kitchen floor. Last time.

[Seth Meyers]

Let's go.

[Josh Meyers]

Yep. Well, it was very special every time you guys visited. And it's very cool that you're part of the DNA of our experience here.

[Jill Benjamin]

So you're going to have other people up now.

[Seth Meyers]

We're going to have some other people.

[Josh Meyers]

You're getting so much better.

[Jill Benjamin]

We came all the way from Boston, and this is it.

[Brendan Hunt]

Give it up, Larry and Hillary.

[Seth Meyers]

And just because we're going to keep things moving, please give it up for our next guest who's going to join us up here, Mr. Brendan Hunt. And, mom, you do have to go. Okay.

[Josh Meyers]

Okay.

[Brendan Hunt]

Brando.

[Josh Meyers]

It'S so good to see you, buddy. So did you ever. Did you take. Have family members come and take visits here to see you?

[Andrew Moskos]

It must have been nice having parents come. That never happened to me.

[Josh Meyers]

But you weren't here very long.

[Andrew Moskos]

Yeah, seven years. No, that's not true. My mom did come once on the way out the door, but before my.

[Josh Meyers]

Mom came, she came when you were leaving. She was like, I didn't want us both to be here at the same time.

[Andrew Moskos]

Basically, yes. And my poor Aunt Siobhan moved here, like, the day I was leaving. And then she was, like, mad at me, like, oh, I move here and you're leaving.

[Josh Meyers]

I've been planning this for a while, Siobhan.

[Andrew Moskos]

But my sister Megan came to visit in 2003, the summer she graduated high school. And it was her first time leaving the country, of course. And I felt a certain responsibility for my sister. She's 11 years younger than me. She's always been this angel. Now she's graduating high school.

[Josh Meyers]

She's a woman now.

[Andrew Moskos]

And so I felt like I had to be the first person to give her mushrooms family trips. The groan was appropriate. But of course, if you're gonna have your sister here in the Netherlands and you're gonna give her mushrooms for the first time, you have to take her to Efteling, which is what we did. Lovely titters of anticipation there and excitement. Good for those who don't know listening out in the Ethereum, Efteling Best amusement park in the world.

[Josh Meyers]

Yep.

[Andrew Moskos]

Better than Disneyland. Better than all of them. Not corporate at all. All, like, just, like, elves and fairies.

[Larry Myers]

No ip.

[Andrew Moskos]

No, no, no.

[Josh Meyers]

Nobody wants it. Every year, efteling's like, somebody want to make a movie with any of these creatures? People are like, no, no, no. How are we gonna have a screen.

[Andrew Moskos]

That can hold long neck?

[Josh Meyers]

Screens go the other way. Anywho, side neck.

[Andrew Moskos]

So we go and I feel I was somewhat ill prepared, but we go. And of course, set to Ling. She has a great time. The mushrooms go very, very well. And there was just one moment. I'm just gonna be very quickly tell one quick little tale this day. There's one moment that I did not plan enough for because I foolishly, despite having lived here almost five years, didn't plan for rain.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Moskos]

And it starts raining pretty bad. And, like, this is gonna blow over. All right, we're going to that gift shop. And we go to the gift shop where we were apparently the 200th people to walk into that gift shop because there was one poncho left and one, like, super heavy sweatshirt hoodie. I was like, all right, you get the poncho, I'll take the hoodie. It's fine. And she's like, okay, great. I'm just guiding her around. She's just doing whatever I say. She believes in me foolishly. And again, this beautiful, wonderful day. But after a while, it's been a little bit. And, you know, it's been raining, but it's been raining a little bit less. And now we're under, you know, that big, like, tunnel canopy where it's like. It's all, like, you know, ivy or grass or something. You're kind of like, in a little forest for a second. And as we're walking through this thing, it takes about two minutes to walk through. And as we're getting through it, I'm like. I don't know why she protested this, but I was like, shannon. I think Shannon. Shannon is the name of my fiance.

[Josh Meyers]

Who looks just like your. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Moskos]

Same amount of syllables. Yeah, same amount of syllables. Megan, Megan. I'm getting pretty hot. I think I'm gonna take off this sweatshirt. Cause again, it wasn't a poncho. It was a fucking sweatshirt. It was a humid, humid day, and.

[Seth Meyers]

You'Ve been known to sweat.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah, I have, I have. It's my brand. I would actually say if it was raining, the worst thing to buy would be a sweatshirt. It's literally like a rain catcher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Either that or, like a sponge jacket.

[Andrew Moskos]

My thought was better than nothing. I thought was wrong.

[Josh Meyers]

Yep. Yep.

[Andrew Moskos]

So we're walking like, megan, I think I'm gonna take off my sweatshirt. No, Brendan, don't do that. It's raining, and, like, we are under this canopy, and, like, water is coming down. But I'm fairly confident at this point it's just the water that is dripping off the leaves of the canopy and not actual rain. And we're getting closer to the end. I was like, nah, Megan, I think that's just.

[Larry Myers]

I think that's just drips.

[Andrew Moskos]

I think that's just drips. It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna take off my sweatshirt. Brendan, don't take off your sweatshirt. It's raining. I'm like, megan. And now we're, like, right up to the edge of it. And like, megan, I'm take off my sweatshirt. Okay, let's look at this from someone else's point of view. Imagine you're a dentist from Enschede, and you brought your family to the Efteling on a Tuesday. You're so proud of yourself. Your little kids, they've barely seen the world yet, you know, and you've taken them to Efteling.

[Josh Meyers]

They're.

[Andrew Moskos]

They're like six years old, the two of them, and it's a wonderful time. And you're approaching this canopy tunnel that you love so much. It's one of your favorite things. And as you're approaching it, you and your children hear someone scream in English, perfectly American English. Scream at the top of her lungs.

[Josh Meyers]

Reagan, don't take off your sweatshirt. It's raining.

[Andrew Moskos]

And you, the Enskedensa dentist.

[Josh Meyers]

Enske dentist.

[Andrew Moskos]

Lock eyes with the person who's being yelled at. And you both know as you look up to the sky, it is not raining.

[Brendan Hunt]

Oh, no.

[Andrew Moskos]

Why is this woman yelling that it is raining when it is not? And so I turn to Megan and say, megan, if it's not raining, then please stop yelling at me. And I go through the sweatshirt in the garbage.

[Josh Meyers]

Family trip. Family trip.

[Brendan Hunt]

Family trip.

[Seth Meyers]

Thank you, Brando.

[Josh Meyers]

I will say one of my favorite bits is one time, one of our fellow cast members, I won't say who it was, was maybe overserved at the theme park and was just lying in the lawn. And Jordan Peele, our friend Jordan Peele, was doing a bit where he was pretending to be a Dutch child standing over him, and he kept saying, munir, Muneer, you cannot sleep here. Munir.

[Brendan Hunt]

This is a park for children.

[Josh Meyers]

Again, I won't Say who it was. Just kept doing that, trying to wave him off.

[Seth Meyers]

I did. The first time I came, you were living here and I came to visit you and I went for a bike ride to outta Carrick, just on my own. And I was riding home and it started raining and I just got under this tree and I was like, I'm just gonna wait it out. And sort of the line of the rain kept coming in and creeping in and creeping in and then there was like a bug on my chest and I was like, you know, just stay there, bug. We're gonna be fine. And I had maybe smoked a little weed and the rain just kept encroaching and kept encroaching and eventually like I was holding my head that was just dripping water. But this bug was safe. But I was really. It was, it was a bad scene. It was a bad scene. I was waiting it out. Waiting out. Rain's not always a great idea.

[Andrew Moskos]

Now the bug's like, is this guy gonna fucking move or what?

[Josh Meyers]

Jesus.

[Seth Meyers]

Trying to get away from this rain.

[Josh Meyers]

The worst thing about getting caught in the rain is if it was due to the fact that you wanted to go to Oudekerk.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, well, I enjoy that.

[Josh Meyers]

Even the sign at Oudekerk was not worth the trip. You're the best.

[Andrew Moskos]

This was a pleasure.

[Josh Meyers]

Thank you for coming. I'm looking forward to spending the next couple days with you, buddy.

[Andrew Moskos]

It's going to be a blast.

[Josh Meyers]

You just got here. Yeah, two hours ago.

[Seth Meyers]

I'm so tired.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Brendan Hunt]

Brandon Hunt, everybody.

[Josh Meyers]

Family trips. Family trip.

[Brendan Hunt]

Brandon Hunt.

[Josh Meyers]

And now we're going to take a quick break to hear from one of our sponsors. Family Trips Live from Amsterdam is made possible by Airbnb. We hope you're enjoying this special live episode from Amsterdam. It truly was a family trip. Hey, Bashi. Yes, Ufi? You know, I reminisce back on our magical trip to Amsterdam. One of my favorite things is being in a beautiful apartment right on a canal. A lived in apartment, an apartment with nice home touches. And every morning we had a beautiful back patio. Pasci. And we'd go out there and Ash would eat his granola and Greek yogurt and ask me if he could watch Iron Man 2. And I'd say, we're not gonna watch Iron Man 2, we're on vacation. And then he'd beg and beg and then I'd just, you know, let him watch it. Yeah. And it was very special because the WI fi was strong. Paschi.

[Seth Meyers]

I'm sure the WI fi was strong. And also if he's watching something on his phone or a tablet or whatever, you're probably just kicking back on a couch that you might not have in a hotel room.

[Josh Meyers]

It's a good couch. That's right. It was a good couch. Not a lumpy couch. Big windows. Big, beautiful, big, beautiful Amsterdam windows. And you, because you were not traveling with child, you went on a beer tour. How was your Airbnb beer tour?

[Seth Meyers]

I mean? Well, yeah, thanks to Airbnb, we did this incredible history of Amsterdam through a beer glass tour. We went to some incredible pubs that I'd never been to before. Our host, James, was so nice, so knowledgeable, he truncated the tour a little bit because it was so hot and it was just me and mom and dad. So we cut out some of the walking. We just hit the highlights. And I really appreciated that flexibility. And huge thanks to Airbnb.

[Josh Meyers]

Check out an experience for your summer travels and explore a new city like a [e-mail] experiences.

[Peter Gross]

Here we go.

[Seth Meyers]

And now you met him earlier, but coming to the stage, Mr. Andrew Moskos.

[Brendan Hunt]

Andrew.

[Josh Meyers]

Very exciting. It's so happy to be here. Thank you so much for having us.

[Larry Myers]

It's so great to have everyone here again. It's like the old days. I love it.

[Josh Meyers]

You were not on the original run list and then you talked your way into it. Said, I got a real good family trip to share.

[Larry Myers]

I got a good story.

[Josh Meyers]

It's short. All right. We said, well, you don't have to be short. Set the scene, though. Is it about here or is it about elsewhere?

[Larry Myers]

No, it was a trip that happened recently.

[Josh Meyers]

My.

[Larry Myers]

I've always loved going to amusement parks. Efteling, of course, but also the American biggies as well. My son Finn and I are going to go to Epic Universe in the fall also for Halloween. So we get the horror nights at the same time. So we're very excited about Finn. And I love going to amusement parks. So we were at Disney World in Florida and they had this new ride, Tron. We were very excited, but it's so busy that you can't just get in the line for Tron. You can't even buy your way into Tron. You got to press the button at the right time at 7am to get a ticket to get in the queue. And we tried and couldn't get it. And we're like, oh, fuck. We flew here actually for one of the reasons to ride this ride. They've got one more time at 2 o', clock, 2 01. The tickets are all gone. You can't pay for it. There's like. They offer you $35 a ticket. Sorry, it would be two for $25 a ticket, $50 a ride. I'm like, fuck, I'll pay $50 to ride this thing. Now if there's no other choice, those are all sold out as well. So we're like, oh, we can't get on this Tron ride. How disappointing. Finn is like, let's go sneak on.

[Seth Meyers]

Okay. Add a voice, Finn.

[Larry Myers]

Now I'm going, that is an impossible task. There is zero percent chance that we can sneak on. No, no, we're gonna do it. Let's see what happens. And I'm like, okay, Finn, let's go sneak onto Tron. So we walk up to Tron, and I'm like, finn, what's the plan?

[Josh Meyers]

How old is Finn?

[Larry Myers]

Finn is 24.

[Josh Meyers]

Okay, gotcha. I feel like that's a really important thing.

[Larry Myers]

Finn is. He is an adult who should know better.

[Josh Meyers]

Right?

[Brendan Hunt]

But.

[Josh Meyers]

But there's also.

[Seth Meyers]

I mean, he used to work at the Milk Bag. I want to say.

[Josh Meyers]

Oh, he.

[Larry Myers]

Well, he. He.

[Josh Meyers]

But he.

[Seth Meyers]

He has, like. He's walked into clubs, taken a white towel, thrown it over his arm, acted like he works there. And then. And got in and got in. He, like.

[Larry Myers]

He's sending me videos from backstage.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Larry Myers]

He did not have a ticket, and now he's backstage.

[Josh Meyers]

So he.

[Larry Myers]

He is the guy to do that.

[Josh Meyers]

He's older than his years.

[Larry Myers]

He's. We were in Paris in a bar, and In Paris in a bar, David Lynch's club, and he was with some girl. He got backstage and then he saw his friend, and he had to get his friend backstage. So he goes to the. There's a bouncers talking. Some American girls are trying to get into the backstage. Finn walks up to the American girls and goes, look, we had bracelets at the beginning of the day, but all the bracelets are gone. We can't let you backstage. Listen, if you come back earlier, maybe we can help you. But all the bracelets are gone. The girls go, oh, too bad. And they walk away. Then he goes to bouncer, I'm going to give you €40 if you let my friend in.

[Seth Meyers]

So he's savvy. He's savvy.

[Larry Myers]

He's got balls, I'll give you that. So half of me is thinking, I wonder if we can sneak in. So let's go try it in. So we go. And I go, what's the plan? He goes, well, let's sneak in the back. Let's sneak in the exit. And I'm like, even if we could go all the way back through and to the place where they get out of the ride, how do you go from that point to sitting in the ride? It just doesn't make sense. But he goes. And I go, look, I'm going to stand out here. You go and see what you can do. And he goes back and he goes in. He says, oh, yeah, I lost my wallet. And I'm going, how is losing your wallet going to get you to ride this ride? So finally, we're texting each other, and he's like, oh, yeah, I tried it, and I can't get it. I'm like, okay, come on back. And then a guy sees me standing in the X. He's like, can I help you? And I'm like, I lost my wallet. So earlier I skipped this part here. There was a woman in the front here who was at the line. And I go. For a second, I think, like, I've never bribed anyone in my life. I should see if I can just bribe her. And I look in my wallet, and I got a $50 bill.

[Josh Meyers]

And I'm like, well, I would have.

[Larry Myers]

Paid $50 to ride this ride. So I put it next to a map, and this is clunky. I'm just not a guy who bribes people. I have a map and $50. And they go, oh, we flew all the way from Amsterdam. Maybe you can help us out. And she looks at the map and $50, and she goes, I can't take that, sir. I'm like, of course not. Sorry.

[Josh Meyers]

So flash forward.

[Larry Myers]

I'm on the outside, and the guy's there. He asks me what I'm doing. I say, I lost my wallet. He goes, oh, well, let's see if we can find it for you.

[Josh Meyers]

We get free rides to anybody who loses a wallet.

[Larry Myers]

Oh, my God. So he goes into. He goes into a room, and this is where they would go. And he comes back, oh, yeah, we.

[Josh Meyers]

Don'T have it there.

[Larry Myers]

Hold on. One more place we can look. And he walks me outside, and I realize he's gonna go to the front of the line with a lady that I just unsuccessfully tried to bribe and ask if I lost my wallet. And she's gonna go, not only do I not have his wallet, but this guy, okay. So then I look at my phone, I go, oh, oh, I got an app for my son. And he found the wallet. Oh, thanks so much. Thanks so much. Okay. But I realized that when the guy went into this other room and looked. He went through a door. So we're at the lockers. You gotta put your stuff in a locker, and then you go through the ride, and then you come out and the locker's on the other side. So I'm at the exit side of the lockers, and I realize that the guy who went in through this door on the other side of that door is the inside part of those lockers. And I go, okay, Finn, there's a door. I'm like, I'm out. But you know, you want to sneak in. If you just go in that door confidently, don't stop when anyone says anything. You're going to be on the right side of the locker. Go and do it. And then I see him walking out, and he's at the door. He's waiting. He's looking. Then he goes to the door and it closes behind him. And I'm like, what's happening? And I get a text. He goes, I'm in. He goes, I'm gonna tell you when to go. And I'm like, no, no, no, you just go. You just go. He's like, no, you're coming. I'm gonna tell you when to go. Stand by the door. So I stand by the door, and a load of people has come out of the ride, and they're getting all their stuff out of the locker. It's very full, very busy. It'd be great if it were now. He's like, wait. People are getting their stuff in the locker. It's getting emptier. He's like, wait. I'm like, how about that? Wait. And all of a sudden, it's. No one is there. And all of a sudden, I see an employee coming around the corner, and there's no one to hide here. And he goes, now. And I walk through the door, and there's an employee walking right by me. And I just keep walking there, and she doesn't stop me. And there's Finn on the other side. And we high five inside the lockers. So we're fucking gonna ride this thing. We skipped this whole line. We didn't go. And we walk around the corner, and the guy goes, you can't ride with the hat to Finn. And he goes, okay. I'm like, I'm gonna go around the corner. Just put that hat down. No problem. Casualty of the day. And then I go, hold on a second. Although you need a ticket to get in this locker now that I don't have in the future. This locker is gonna be opened by your pass from Getting in here. And I take my pass and I put it on the locker and it goes boop. And it opens. And I take Finn's hat off the ground, I put it in the locker, we go in and we ride the ride. And when we were done, I bought the fucking photo.

[Josh Meyers]

Oh, yeah. Sitting on my desk.

[Larry Myers]

Me and Finn on the Tron Cycles. Front row.

[Josh Meyers]

We got ourselves.

[Larry Myers]

We snuck into the ride due to FINN Fucking Moscow.

[Josh Meyers]

1. That was so much more engaging than the movie Tron 2. It would have been so great if he's like, you can't wear that hat. And Finn's like, that's a deal breaker for me. We're out.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, Finn does like his hats. Finn rocks.

[Larry Myers]

He's got a Josh Meyer style in.

[Josh Meyers]

Him, that's for sure. 3. It's so funny to give a story that you lost your wallet and have that person go tell a person you literally just bribed. Like, like. I mean, you always like, oh, by the way, I lost it when I was trying to bribe her.

[Larry Myers]

I took the $50 out.

[Josh Meyers]

She'll vouch for it. She'll vouch for it. So I did have one at one point.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Right, right, right.

[Josh Meyers]

Well, you just real quick. I think it was you and Pep. You told me the story about a broken Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland Paris. I remember there was a ride and a guy dressed like Indiana Jones had to, like, go climb up a thing because the ride was stuck. And as you told it to me. Oh, my God, neither of you remember that. You guys both started singing the Indiana Jones theme song while, like, a teenager in France dressed like Indian. And the whole line started singing along with you, like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Well, like, I was, like, going to get something that had stuck on the ride.

[Larry Myers]

I don't remember that story, but I love a story where I'm the hero and make people sing.

[Seth Meyers]

It was probably somebody else, but for the purposes of the pot, it was you.

[Larry Myers]

No, no, no. We just. We do drugs at amusement parks. It's very possible it was us.

[Josh Meyers]

Thank you for your story. Give it up for Andrew Muskos.

[Seth Meyers]

Coming up next. I mean, one of our all time. One of the. One of the best. One of the best we've ever known. Ms. Jill Benjamin, JB, everybody.

[Josh Meyers]

There's only one JB. All right, Jill, before you start and we talk about trips, I want to. And I told you I was going to ask you about this. Your mom and you have a long running game. You play with each other with a plastic tarantula. Yes. So explain how it started, and maybe.

[J]

The last couple, it was Halloween, and I think I was maybe in fifth grade, and there's a plastic little Halloween spider, so a tarantula. And I started doing things where I would, like, place it on her pillow, and she'd take her pillow blankets down.

[Brendan Hunt]

Oh.

[J]

And that's always her reaction. And then it got a little deeper where I was going to college, and I was like, I'm just gonna put it like 50 plies of Kleenexes deep. And then it'll be winter, and sure enough, she'll be blowing her nose. And we Benjamins always have a Kleenex somewhere. And so she pulls it out. Oh, one of the best one was on the ceiling fan. It was winter, so summer came, and that surprised her. And a lot of times I just wasn't at home. So we still do it to this day.

[Josh Meyers]

But you sometimes do it back and.

[Seth Meyers]

Forth because she says, yeah.

[J]

So then my mom does it back to me, and now she uses my kids to get it to me. And so she'll, like, sneak it in my suitcase. And then I do my mom. I go, mom, you got me. So we do it a lot.

[Seth Meyers]

But do you get legitimately scared in the moment or now? Have you become desensitized to it over.

[J]

No, we do get scared because we take it to the. At restaurants. Now I literally have to explain, don't worry, she's not going to scream spider, but can you put this in her dish? And do you have, like a dome?

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, yeah.

[J]

So I've done that before. And then a dome. We go to very fancy places.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Jill's mom will only at places with a dome.

[Josh Meyers]

I also. This is different. But that thing about calling, I remember it must have been like 2001, that movie. The Ring came out and you. We always. One of the things we did when we all lived at Amsterdam together is we'd go see horror movies together. That was a big part of our collective experience. And you said, I just saw the Ring with Josh. You have to tell me the night you're going to see it. Tell me before you go and see it. So I remember I called you and I'm like, hey. Or I texted you. I'm like, I'm going to go see the Ring. I'm going. You're like, what time are you going to see it? I was like, 8:30. And then that night at midnight, my phone rings.

[J]

His home phone rings.

[Josh Meyers]

My home phone. It was back when you, like, have a home phone and nobody had ever called the home Phone. So, like, it rings and a little bit of dust comes off it. And I went over and I answered it. And do you remember what you said into the phone?

[J]

Seven days.

[Josh Meyers]

It's literally the most scared I've been in my life.

[J]

Just told the story to my kids because we were going to watch the ring. I explain this whole thing. And I heard you at the other end of the phone go, jesus Christ. That was a juke I got on.

[Josh Meyers]

That was an old school juke.

[Seth Meyers]

We also. I mean, this is a not a family trip story, but when we used to go see movies here, we had a game that we, I think, loved. And I know that whoever was selling the tickets hated. But you would order a ticket in the style of the movie. So I remember. I know, like, we would go see space Cowboys. And you'd go and you'd be like, could I get one for space cowboys? And then this poor ticket person would be like, okay. And then the next person would go, like, one for space Cowboys. And we would always order one ticket at a time.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah. And then, like, the eighth person would walk up to the counter, like, and.

[Seth Meyers]

They'D just be printing your ticket. Some Dutch teenager who's like, come on, man.

[Josh Meyers]

That would be so funny if you got up and you're like, one for Joy Luck Club.

[J]

Well, going back to juking with the spider, is that the time that I got juked? The biggest was Hillary was mentioning about the tonsils coming out. And so my guy friends know that I like, gross.

[Josh Meyers]

She called the doctor and they're like, can you just. He won't be freaked out. Put. Replace one of the tonsils with this spider.

[J]

Well, my mom actually wrote you a very detailed note. Cause you requested to be a part of the spider gag. So my mom wrote a note going, it cannot be placed in a place where it'll get lost, stolen, or thrown away. And so Seth called me up and he goes, do you wanna come and see my tonsils? And I was like, ew. Who do you think I am? I'm a lady. I'll be right over. So I came over, and I remember being grossed out. And you put it in Tupperware. And as I was opening it, you warned me, and you go, they're really black. And when I opened it up, oh, it was a spider.

[Josh Meyers]

It was really good. It was a joyless note from your mom. Like, it's such a fun prank. And then the letter really was like, you mustn't put it into. I'm like, oh, my God, this is so not fun.

[J]

When my parents actually came to visit Amsterdam, I remember it was a beautiful time. I couldn't wait to show up in Chicago. And all my friends we had. Seth and I have done our show pickups and hiccups in Edinburgh. And it was such a fun time. And whenever you're there, I mean, I never dated the Dutch. I love you Dutch, but there is not a man for me. I mean, it just didn't work out. I like sense of humors, but yikes.

[Seth Meyers]

There was that one guy.

[J]

Guess I'm not getting laid tonight.

[Seth Meyers]

There was that like very like Nordic looking Dutch guy that you like.

[Josh Meyers]

Oh, yeah.

[J]

Ivo.

[Larry Myers]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Evo.

[Josh Meyers]

One of the reasons Jill couldn't and shouldn't date Dutch people is she's never not butchered their name or where they're from.

[J]

The only Dutch I know from living here for one year is May Nadalanders is Nietzsche.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, no kidding.

[J]

So my parents came to Boom Chicago. I could not wait to show them off. And my best friend happened to be visiting on her little stint that she had in France. So as we were all there, we walked into Boom Chicago. And all of a sudden I was like. And it wasn't the spider, but it was a guy that I had hooked up with in Edinburgh who decided to surprise me now.

[Josh Meyers]

Right.

[J]

Don't surprise people if it was a one night hookup, in fact, in Edinburgh.

[Josh Meyers]

By the way, I love that the whole first 15 minutes of this interview with you is how much you love surprises. And then all of a sudden just a 180 on surprises.

[J]

Not when you're not excited about it.

[Josh Meyers]

Right, right.

[J]

So the guy is there and you know when you hook up with someone and then months later they look a little worse. Well, there's nobody you want to have around to witness that than these people.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[J]

So I used to think he looked like Matthew McConaughey.

[Josh Meyers]

Right.

[J]

He like kind of had a little.

[Josh Meyers]

Bit of a wavy hat. We all thought he looked like the dad.

[J]

So he shows up and it's an awkwardness of like, hey, Mom. They're like, how did you meet him? I was like, um, this was a guy that I had like purposely tried to get to an alleyway to make out with. It was no big deal. Didn't go further than that. But so we do just real quick, yeah, my kids are here.

[Josh Meyers]

Okay. Yeah. But. And again, I'm not. What happened in the alleyway is not interesting to me. Trying to trick. Nothing.

[J]

That's the problem.

[Josh Meyers]

Trying to trick someone into an alleyway just real quick. What are the three steps for that? Oh, oh, is that. Is something glittering there? Somebody maybe. Did someone trap a magic coin in an alleyway? Should we go look for the magic coin? Do I hear a hurt dog?

[J]

He's really good at impressions and really, really pretty accurate. So this man is there, and we do our show. And after the show, it's called schmoozing. You go out, right, and you just start talking to people. So this guy, he comes out and he comes up to us, and I'm like, God, not only is that long hair, it's not working for me. But his fly was down. And I was like, oh, God, Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

That'S why you gotta wear pants like this.

[Josh Meyers]

No fly. The only bad news is it's just easier to pee yourself.

[J]

So he walks up, and I've got Seth and my best friend Kara. And my parents are like, all right, we're gonna go back. And so they go back to where they were staying. And so it's me, you, and Kara. And this guy says, so, long hair, fly down. And he goes, do you want to see a magic trick? And he had been traveling around Europe since I saw him last doing magic. And I was like, sure. He goes, I'm just going to go to the bathroom real quick. I'll come back and I'll do that trick. And then I looked at you and I said, you can go ahead and go. And you go, no, no, no. I'm staying for this.

[Josh Meyers]

I'm staying for this.

[J]

So he comes back out of the bathroom, and he's like, all right.

[Josh Meyers]

And then he came back out. His fly was somehow twice as open.

[J]

He comes out with a pack of cigarettes. And I was like, oh, now he's gonna smoke. You gotta still wait for this trick. And he goes, I'm just gonna go grab a. And he just throws the cigarette box out, and it just starts levitating. I mean, it was just a really incredible trick. He's doing his hands around to show there's no wires or smoke and mirrors. I mean, it was really, really cool. And then we realized how he did the trick was that he went to the bathroom to put the invisible string behind his ear and attached it to the box. And then Seth leaned in and goes, you know, the real magic would be if you went to the bathroom and came back and your fly was up.

[Seth Meyers]

And where are your parents during all of this?

[J]

They went away. Thank God.

[Seth Meyers]

Okay.

[J]

They lost their luggage. My mom, who likes to accessorize, was when we went from Amsterdam to Paris with no luggage for Them, it was awful for them, but they really enjoyed the show. And the thing that they always, always loved, and I know Larry and Hillary as well, is watching pickups and hiccups. You guys are our biggest fans, so thank you.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Josh Meyers]

Jill Benjamin. There's no one like her. No one like her.

[Seth Meyers]

The best there ever.

[Brendan Hunt]

Jb, everybody.

[Josh Meyers]

Jb, thank you.

[Seth Meyers]

This next gentleman not only was a boom Chicago performer with us, but was in a fraternity with Seth and I at Northwestern University. Give it up for Mr. Peter Gross.

[Josh Meyers]

Yay.

[Brendan Hunt]

Gross.

[Josh Meyers]

I not what I was planning on talking about, but Brando's story. Remind me, do you remember the time we were at Efteling and one of us forgot a coat at the coat check booth and it was raining harder than I ever. And you and I ran back while the buses were waiting for us and we ran back all the way through the park and we got to this little cabin and this is probably apocryphal, but there was one coat on one hangar in an empty cabin. And the woman was like, number please. And we were both like. I'm like, that's the coat. Number please.

[Peter Gross]

Number that one. Why don't you tell me what that number is and I'll tell you what my name is. I should ask you. Number please, lady.

[Josh Meyers]

So did your parents come and visit you here?

[Peter Gross]

My parents did. My parents had like a big life change the year that I came here. They had sold their place and their house and they were like. Were just like traveling through Europe. They were doing like some weird post college backpack thing. They were like in their 60s and while I was here. So they came here and then they went to France and like, lived in the south of France and stuff like that. And they were here for just a little bit. But my. My thing is, like, I don't have a huge story for them here, but I do have a good European travel story. Before I tell it, I have two things. When I also did a was here visiting once and there was a good movie story of like the way that you order the movie tickets and the way that. The style of the movie, which was we went and saw the Mummy and it was eight people being like. And the first. The first time the first person walked up was like, oh, my God. And then like, they. Nobody spoke. Nobody like broke character of a mummy. And the person had to figure out.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What movie it was.

[Josh Meyers]

So I was like.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And they were like.

[Peter Gross]

Yeah, like Joy Luck Club ants. Oh, Mommy. And then. Oh, thank God. And then seven poor people. But by that point they had Figured it out. But that's one of my favorite of that genre. So my dad was born in Romania. Give it up for Romania.

[Josh Meyers]

No.

[Peter Gross]

Okay, that's fine. But. So he was born in Romania, and it was after it became communist and everything, he immigrated out and came to the United States. And the first time that we went back there was 1980, and I was 6. And he still had relatives that lived there, and aunt and uncle, but everybody had left. Like, all of his friends got out and moved to other places. So we go and there's these two portraits of like, my dad's. My dad's like, great, great grandparents. It's like mid-1800s. People who, I guess they had a little bit of money, they could sit for some portraits, and my dad wanted them. And this was like, at a time when we went to Romania. It was so communist. How communist was it? It was so communist. Like when they. When they brought you rolls at dinner, it wasn't just like, here's some bread. It was like, at the end of it, they were like, okay, you had four rolls. I'm gonna add that to the list of the things. Everything was like, super tight and very, very controlled. And my dad was like, we can't just take these paintings out. You can't just, you know, enter with no paintings and then leave with paintings. So he basically was like, we have to smuggle these paintings out of Romania. And it's 1980, it's like just the height of the Cold War. And I'm six and I'm involved. I'm like conscripted into a smuggling ring to get these paintings out of Romania. So my dad, who is like an investment banker and just like a sweet, normal guy, except for the times that he forces you to pull toilet paperwork. Side note, Seth lived in an apartment that my dad had in Manhattan. And over the summer between our sophomore years, we lived there together. And my father and mother, like, it was. It was his cousin's apartment, and he was. He got himself on the lease because of rent controlled rules where you're, like, allowed to have a very, very cheap apartment. And it was a beautiful location right near Central Park. So then the summer between sophomore and junior year, we each got internships in New York City. And we got to live in this apartment except for. For those two months, except for the two weeks each month, one week each month, two total for the summer, where there was a guy who my parents were friends with, who was an interior designer who lived in Arkansas, who would come to New York, and my dad kicked us out of the apartment. So then we stayed with my parents in Westchester county, north of New York City. And when we did, he would come and clean this apartment so fastidiously and he did, just to have a friend visit. And he would fold the toilet paper on the roll into a triangle the way they do it. Not every hotel, it's not that standard, but at very fancy hotels. And he would get like, he did it once and then I used the toilet paper afterwards. And then he went back and he was like, who used the toilet paper? He got so angry.

[Josh Meyers]

It was definitely the day where I realized a lot of your upbringing was your dad yelling at you for using toilet paper after it had been folding.

[Peter Gross]

Like 90% of it. And then when we lived together, I had really had to fight yelling at you while the toilet paper was off.

[Josh Meyers]

I'm the opposite of a paper folder.

[Peter Gross]

Yeah, we're a real odd couple when.

[Seth Meyers]

It comes to toilet paper.

[Peter Gross]

Anyway, so back to Romania. So my dad is very mild mannered and not, you know, he's calm in some instances, but he gets very obsessive. So he knows this is happening where he's going to sort of smuggle these paintings out. He learns how to like coat them with something because this is 1980, they're like 130 years old or whatever it is. He coats them with something so that when you roll them up, they don't crack. He rolls them up. He paint, you know, he paints them very, very like gently rolls them up, puts them in, not like poster tubes from, you know, like a store. Puts them in like these elongated sort of like, you know, sacks or something that make them not look like paintings. And then we are taking a train out of Romania to Yugoslavia to I guess, freedom, I guess. But then we, he, we get on the train and he very like sort of nonchalantly is doing all this stuff. And before we get on the train, he looks at my sister and I, he's like, there's going to be customs people and just act normal, don't do anything, because if we get caught, we're going to be in really big trouble.

[Seth Meyers]

How old your sister?

[Peter Gross]

My sister was. She's three years older. But she's a spy. She's a professional spy.

[Josh Meyers]

So she was.

[Seth Meyers]

She's nine?

[Peter Gross]

Yeah, yeah, she's nine. I'm six. And you can't be more freaked out in my life, I would imagine, than like your parents telling you that like somebody who's like an agent of like a foreign communist power at the height of the Cold War is Going to get you in trouble. Because it's not like, oh, we got in trouble. It was like, we're going to be in jail. And so he puts them up, we sit down and we're riding for a bit. And then the time comes to, like, have our, you know, the papers moment happens. Train slows to a stop. It's like the, you know, stormtroopers, like, get on the. Get on the train. And, you know, they do walk as slowly and as confidently as you think they're going to. They're just like looking around the train and trying to find like, the person who's acting weird because they mean there's something weird going on. And I think to my credit, my fear just manifested as, like stone cold stillness. I didn't do anything. They were like right above our heads, just kind of like generally looking around. I asked for our passports and stuff, but there was a moment when one of the guys just looked down at me and I made eye contact with this guy. He looked up at him and he was like, and how are you? And I was like, I'm okay, and didn't say anything. We kept going. They got off the train, the train moved along. And I have never been so happy in my life to be in Yugoslavia.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Peter Gross]

And I made it out. And those paintings are in my mom's apartment today. And I was like.

[Josh Meyers]

So I'm a.

[Peter Gross]

In addition to. Thank you. In addition to, you know, anything you may have seen me in or know my writing credits, I'm also an international art smuggler.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Peter Gross]

So if anyone needs any help with that.

[Josh Meyers]

Now I want to redo the scene. I'll be the customs agent. And I want you to be a kid who's bad at it.

[Larry Myers]

Yeah.

[Josh Meyers]

Okay. So you're. Now you're bad at hiding the fact.

[Peter Gross]

Bad at hiding it.

[Josh Meyers]

Yes. Hello.

[Brendan Hunt]

Hi.

[Peter Gross]

Hi.

[Josh Meyers]

How are you, young man?

[Peter Gross]

Just, you know, fine. Not smuggling anything. Just like a normal day. Cool.

[Josh Meyers]

Not bringing anything back.

[Peter Gross]

No, no. Do you, like, what if, like. Let me ask you a question. Like, if somebody was smuggling paintings, like, what would be like the. What would be like the punishment?

[Josh Meyers]

Yes. We frown on people bringing back paintings. What are in these long, not tubes.

[Peter Gross]

Those are dad.

[Josh Meyers]

Well, I'm very impressed you pulled it off.

[Peter Gross]

Yeah, it was pretty incredible.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I. I lived.

[Peter Gross]

I only lived here for six months, but I did come back a lot and visit. So I feel like I have trips of coming back to Amsterdam, like when. When you guys were here, and like to see people over the years also.

[Josh Meyers]

In one of the great Newspaper articles of all time.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, my.

[Josh Meyers]

Very short. Pete was here for a very short time and is in one of the greatest triptych. Was it three photos?

[Peter Gross]

That's a great, brilliant triptych. So if I talk about the Junkie Bridge, where you can sell bikes, your folks here.

[Josh Meyers]

I think the Junkie Bridge is from a bygone era.

[Peter Gross]

Yeah. Anyway, so this is 1997, the year that I was there. Lot of, like, very, very cheap bikes in Amsterdam. They would get stolen all the time. There was a bridge that's near the university. Yeah, yeah. And it was called the Junkie Bridge. You know, this is at least by us.

[Seth Meyers]

I don't know if it was just us that called it the Junkie Bridge.

[Peter Gross]

Okay, well, I'm repeating things. I make up.

[Josh Meyers]

Locals called it the Yunki Bridge. Yeah, exactly.

[Peter Gross]

They were like, that's the. We're most proud of that bridge. It's beautiful. We called it the home. No, but it was a bridge where you could go to, you know, when we got here. When we got here, Andrew and Pep called it that, so you can blame them. But they said, you know, just go there cheap. Five guilders. Just go buy a. Go buy a bike. You'll spend more on your lock than you will your bike.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Peter Gross]

And so we went and bought bikes, and the junkies were selling bikes there, and they stole it from somewhere else. It's part of the economy. It's just the way it was, you know, I don't.

[Seth Meyers]

What's good for the goose is good for the camel.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, exactly.

[Peter Gross]

It was just like, you're greasing the wheels of. It was capitalism.

[Josh Meyers]

And the best thing about it is you weren't incentivizing them to steal more bikes.

[Peter Gross]

No, no. You were like, this is the last one. Yo.

[Josh Meyers]

I'll buy this on one condition. Yeah?

[Peter Gross]

Yeah, Okay. I swear. Good. We shook on it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And then.

[Jill Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Peter Gross]

So then. So I had my bike and I lived here a few months. My girlfriend comes to visit from America, and I'm like, oh, so we'll go down there and I'll just get her a bike. And I go down and I realize, no forethought, I have 50 gilders on me, which is five times as much as a bike costs.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Peter Gross]

So I go and I tell the guy, like, hey, I want to buy a bike. But, like, do you have change? Which is so not something he had. And he's like, no. And then I'm just like, I'm stuck, and she's right there, and I just. It was like, A dumb. Like, just, fine, fine. Okay, fine. Here's 50. And we were not getting paid enough money for me to be doing this, but I. So I gave it to him. We started, you know, walking away, and then, you know, there wasn't a lot of quality control down at the junky bridge. So my girlfriend starts riding, and it's like, I think Jill would do a good job impersonating the way the bike sounded and looked. Jill, can I impersonate you? So the bike is complete. It's a complete mess. And she's like, I can't ride this for the next five days. So we go back and I'm like, hey, can you.

[Seth Meyers]

What's the return policy on these?

[Peter Gross]

Be like, yeah, we were just here. We were just here in your memory, and the guy in the blue shirt, and I tried to switch it, and he's basically just like, no, I'm, like, doing business here, man. Like, it would be like, hey, I just did some of this cocaine that I bought from you. I don't think it's that good. I'd like to get. Can we swap it out for some different cocaine? So he's like, no. He just. Straight up, no. And then I looked at my pants, and I'm like, I have another 20 gilders. Can I just, like, get another one? And he's like, sure, and I'll take that one back, because then he's just going to sell it to someone else. So I spent 70 gilders on a bike, which is 12 and a half times, or whatever. It is more than you should spend. So that whole thing happens. The next day, I walk into Boom Chicago in the afternoon. The bartender is like, hey, you're in the newspaper. And I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, you didn't see het parole today? And granted, listen, like, Jill, I didn't learn Dutch was here. I wasn't reading het parole. Like, oh, what's going on in the Dutch parliament? And so I look at the paper, and it is like, a full expose about, like, what's going on at the Junkie Bruges. They must have used the word junkie. And it's three pictures. It is me walking up to the guy, me handing him money, and then me getting on the bike. It was like the perfect, perfect, perfect thing.

[Josh Meyers]

The best would be if the inside was the other three pictures of you trying to return it. And there's like, a second story of, like, American tries to return bike to junkie.

[Seth Meyers]

Junkies are a problem. Americans are stupid.

[Peter Gross]

And I will say, exactly. At least there's no junkies, but he's a complete idiot. But they also. I mean, they pixelated out my face. Just barely. Just barely. And the guy was like, hey, that's you.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Peter Gross]

And, you know, like, I got, like, crazy ass bow legs. Like, I'm like, my body is very specific even with the pixelation. But it was. It was like the perfect. The perfect crime after all.

[Josh Meyers]

You were like, you got to unbow my legs.

[Peter Gross]

They're like, sir, we tried. It's not possible.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And I.

[Peter Gross]

But here's. I'll bring my parents into it. I told them the story. They did not laugh. They did not find it funny. I think my dad was more disappointed about the economics of it. He was like, you spent 70 guilders on two shitty bikes.

[Josh Meyers]

He's like, I tried to teach you the importance of this when we were smuggling paintings.

[Peter Gross]

Yeah, exactly. I don't even care about those paintings. It was just to teach you a lesson.

[Josh Meyers]

Thank you, Pete. It's great to see you, buddy. Love you.

[Seth Meyers]

And last but not least, friend of the show, Mr. Ike Barinhole.

[Josh Meyers]

Give it up. Right, everybody.

[Seth Meyers]

What do you got there? What are you drinking there?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I hope the rave was good, Josh and Seth, I hope you had a good hike. Hey, real quick, before we start.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I just. I want to thank Airbnb. Thank you for hooking you guys up with this.

[Josh Meyers]

Thank you.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Sounds great.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I paid for plane tickets for me and my wife and my kids.

[Josh Meyers]

Yep.

[Ike Barinholtz]

We're staying at a hotel.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Well, that's, like. It's cheap, right?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, it's really cheap. Yeah. So I'm gonna. I'm going to be funny and interesting for the next 10 minutes in good faith that we will figure the financials of this out.

[Josh Meyers]

Okay. Okay. We were at the Groat Milk House today.

[Ike Barinholtz]

The Groat Milk House.

[Josh Meyers]

And Big Milk was your nickname when you were in Amsterdam.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I love it when they call me Big Milk. Hey, I'm sitting next to your son, and he turns to me and goes, what's a thong? So I showed him the one thing. Yes. I told him it's okay. Sometimes men wear thong.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

The concept of bribery has come up a couple of times tonight. And I know we were in Vegas, I think, maybe for our friend Dave Buckman's bachelor party, and you tried to bribe a bouncer. Do you remember what happened?

[Josh Meyers]

I will just say real quick. I've talked a lot about palm greasing, and I think some people are, like, just very well, you know, they're constituted to Try to do a subtle bride.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Josh Meyers]

I would guess you're good at it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I normally am. Great.

[Josh Meyers]

Okay.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And I have no problem telling a story because I didn't bring my fucking kids to this podcast, and they will never hear it.

[Josh Meyers]

Oh, in that case, Jordan Peele was talking to Ike in the lawn. I didn't come.

[Ike Barinholtz]

No shit. Big surprise.

[Josh Meyers]

I like that I thought more about your kids than you're thinking about mine.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Maybe I took a little nap in front of Monster Cannibal, which I am optioning and turning into a movie that you'll see in two years.

[Josh Meyers]

It's available. They realized that was racist in 2017.

[Ike Barinholtz]

But it sounds fancy. Masseur.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

We were in Las Vegas, and, man, this story is so fucking embarrassing. We were in Las Vegas and we really wanted a drug that would help you dance, perhaps. And we couldn't get that. And then we were like, well, what if there's another drug that makes you just kind of stay up and talk about opening a restaurant one day maybe, or some fucking dumb shit? And so I was like. I called. I remember I texted a guy, and I was like, do you have anything? And it was like, this is his girlfriend. He's in jail. And I was like, ah, shit, whatever. And so I was just like.

[Josh Meyers]

You were like, does he still have his one call?

[Ike Barinholtz]

How does he feel about a conjugal visit? You guys wait here. I'll be back in two hours. So.

[Josh Meyers]

No.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So I was just like, this is Vegas, right? This is a town that was built by the Mafia and is built on greasing palms and stuff. So I walked up to a bouncer, and I was like, hey, man, how you doing? You ever seen MADtv?

[Josh Meyers]

No. No.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I go, hey, man, how you doing? This is so awkward to ask, but do you have any?

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And he goes, yeah, yeah, come here. And we get into this, like, little elevator, and we go down to the first floor, and he opens. He goes, have a good night. Shoves me out.

[Seth Meyers]

But I think you also, because I think you gave him two or $300, because then when we found you again, you were like, I just gave that guy $300 to be mean to me.

[Josh Meyers]

However, when he shoved you out, Finn was there, and he's like, come with me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Come in the back by the Tron slot machine. By the way, Karise reminded me we're talking about movies and movie bits and stuff. We have to shout out Joe Canale.

[Josh Meyers]

Yes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Who would do this bit every time we would see a movie, which is. We would all go in and after we did our stupid, like, Space Cowboys, we would get our tickets and we would sit and he would, like, lag behind, and he would go and get, like, a large bucket of popcorn. And then he would enter the theater and he would walk past us. If we're, like, sitting here, he would walk past us and go to the front of the theater and go.

[Josh Meyers]

And he already.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Popcorn shooting in the sky.

[Josh Meyers]

He naturally has the silhouette of a Muppet.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, he does.

[Josh Meyers]

It looked like a Muppet came in late with a thing of popcorn and couldn't.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, he never wanted to eat the popcorn. It was only to throw it in here.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He did it. We went to the Tichinsky to see Star the Phantom.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, we were very excited.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was packed theater with lots of children. And he did it, and the theater just exploded. People were like, oh, my God. Yeah, really good.

[Josh Meyers]

The other bit that never took off, that I always enjoyed, is there used to be a Grolsch commercial before every movie, and we'd all buy Grolshes, and Josh invented the game that you would try to pop your Grolsh at simultaneously at the same time at the bo.

[Seth Meyers]

And it was great. And a lot of times, like, there were a lot of commercials, and there. You know, you would really want to open that beer when it was cold.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

But you'd wait for it. And then there were a couple times when you'd hear other people doing it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

But, yeah, you would get, like, an echo in the theater, and people would be like, oh, these Americans are fucking losers.

[Josh Meyers]

You know, I didn't like them when I was behind them in line for the mummy bit, but I really don't like them. They're so impressed with their little games.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Speaking of, we played our children in baseball today in Fondle Park.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

They beat us.

[Josh Meyers]

They beat us. Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was seven to six. I also think I threw my neck out.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Mine was already thrown out.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Being old is cool. Hey, look at you guys. I don't think you guys look alike.

[Josh Meyers]

Okay.

[Seth Meyers]

Okay.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I don't.

[Seth Meyers]

All right. You're the one.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I think you look like a Jewish orthodontist in upstate New York. And you look like you were born on a fjord. It's like a different thing. I've always said this. This is not new.

[Josh Meyers]

And so, which of those two is handsomer? You still haven't said which one of us is handsomer?

[Ike Barinholtz]

They're both handsome. One of you just might be more prone to stomach trouble. I mean, listen, listen. I was gonna tell a story. Like, when my parents Came. But I think I might have even told that on family trips before where we smoked. Short story short, my dad smoked weed for the first time. Did not handle it well. Freaked out. Next night, my brother, we were all going somewhere, and he told. He whispers to me, I can't ride a bike. And this. I remember this, like, kind of hot Dutch woman we were with goes, you can't ride a bike. Very emasculating. So that's that story I'm gonna tell real quick.

[Josh Meyers]

Your dad smoked so much weed that he said, I'm gonna quit being a lawyer and be an actor in LA. And it did work.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It took him about 15 years, but he did it.

[Peter Gross]

I want to tell a story about.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Our friend Dave Stassen, who's like a brother to us. When he came to visit us one time, visit me, he didn't really know you guys, but he. He and my other best friend, Brian Green from Chicago, were coming out. I was so excited to see them.

[Josh Meyers]

And.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And the day they were coming in, this young Dutch lady who I was friendly with was like, I'm going to the beach with some friends. Do you want to join us? And I was like, yeah, sure. So we go to the beach. And I'd never been to a Dutch beach or a European beach before, and I was not prepared for what happens there. Titties. All right, so listen, listen, listen, listen, guys, everyone, everyone, calm down. I. We're all of the older generation.

[Josh Meyers]

The amount. I wish your daughters were here right now.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I know. I'm so glad.

[Josh Meyers]

Just as a buffer. I really am. Like, oh, he's not joking. Oh, dear God. We wouldn't have closed with Ike if we knew he was coming alone.

[Jill Benjamin]

So I. I.

[Josh Meyers]

These.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This girl and her friends take their tops off, and I'm just, like, agog. Like. Like, I'm older and. And we're. We come from a generation where, like, seeing naked. Seeing any kind of breasts.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Live. I still to this day, I'm 48, and, like, if my wife is changing, I'm like, oh. Like, I'm like, you know, it's like, you just. They're great, and you love them, and we love them.

[Josh Meyers]

People are saying it more and more.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So we're sitting there, and they're topless, and I'm just, like, trying to be cool, you know, like, staring at the fucking whatever north say. Nor to say.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Nor to say it.

[Josh Meyers]

It's got the best beaches.

[Ike Barinholtz]

They're famous, so.

[Josh Meyers]

So.

[Jill Benjamin]

And.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And they're, like, drinking wine, and it's so cool. And they're so topless. And, like, I. I just. I just didn't put on any kind of sunscreen or anything because I also. My mind, I was like, sunburn in Holland.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So we take the train home. And the train. I'm like, train ride. I'm like, man, it's really, really hot on this train. It's like cranking the heat. And we had two shows that night. My friends were coming in. Was a big night. And I get back to my.

[Josh Meyers]

My.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Our apartment. I think I was living with you over on. Don't tell me. 3, 2, 1. I can't remember. What was it?

[Seth Meyers]

I couldn't tell you.

[Peter Gross]

Yeah, that.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Hudson strike.

[Peter Gross]

Boom.

[Josh Meyers]

Boom. Can you say boom when someone gives it to you?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Always. I'm always pumping the brand, pumping the company. So I take a shower, and I get out of the shower, and I am like a lobster. I am bright red. I look fucking crazy, and I feel horrible. I feel so bad. And my friends come to the first show, and I'm feeling really bad. And I walk out on stage playing Jerry Springer. It was a very smart show we were doing, by the way. I'm playing Jerry Springer, and I come out, and I look like. People just start laughing. When I come back on stage, I'm like, way past the color of your shirt. I look awful.

[Josh Meyers]

I'm.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm sweating like this.

[Jill Benjamin]

It's.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, it's just bright. Very jarring. And my skin is, like, puffing up a little bit, and it really sucks. And the worst part of the sunburn was like. I don't know why this part, like, from my. Like.

[Josh Meyers]

Like.

[Seth Meyers]

Because it never sees the sun.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Because it never sees the sun. And maybe because I was like, this, like. Like trying to not look directly at topless women. I don't know.

[Seth Meyers]

I don't know. But your thighs. Your thighs.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And maybe my thighs were cooked and in such pain, you know? And so one point, like, during the show or maybe before the second show, one of the waitresses, God bless you. Was like, do you want some yogurt? You should put some yogurt on your legs. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I will.

[Josh Meyers]

And I. Good call. Good call.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, whatever. Yeah. I love you. You want to go to the beach?

[Josh Meyers]

I've never. By the way, I've known you now for a quarter century. I don't think I've ever heard you say that. Sounds like a bad idea.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So I go backstage at one point, and I'm just like. I'm in such pain. And I sit in a Chair. And I pull down my pants and I'm like, I have yogurt over, all over my thighs. And I have ice cups that I'm rolling on there. I'm just going to. And at one point, like, at the old theater, like, our dressing room was like, right next to the ladies bathroom. And so I have my back to the door, and some audience member thinks, this is the bathroom and comes in and opens it. As I'm like, no pants, going with white cream, shooting about, I'm like, oh, God. And she was like, oh, shit. And she walks out. And then I saw her. I was like, oh, no, no, no. So then I get up, I'm like.

[Josh Meyers]

It'S a common cure.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I should have been like, I have sunburn. But I didn't. I was like, the bathroom's next door. Never fucking heard a knocking. And so then I, you know, I clean, I clean up and I go back on stage. And I always just wondered, like, when I came on stage, like, what did she say to her friend? Like, oh, I saw him masturbating backstage moments ago. And so then my friends were like, you know, they came to the show and they're like, are you okay? And I was like, no, I have to go home. And I went to Hudson Straught and laid in bed for two days and didn't hang out with my friends at all. It was the shittiest trip ever for me, for. They had a great time.

[Josh Meyers]

The only thing that would have been worse for you is if you'd went to the doctor and he's like, it's actually not a sunburn. You had an allergic reaction to seeing a naked woman express. You have to never look at him again.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And you kill me.

[Josh Meyers]

Kill me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You got to assisted suicide here, right?

[Josh Meyers]

You took advantage of. You took advantage of their loose euthanasia policy.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You're the only 31 year old ever to do this.

[Josh Meyers]

Thank you so much for sharing one of my favorite Ike stories. You're the best, buddy.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I love family trips.

[Peter Gross]

Love from Chicago.

[Josh Meyers]

All right, you can leave. Yeah.

[Brendan Hunt]

Bye.

[Josh Meyers]

It's really funny that Ike said, do I leave? Considering he was the seventh guest. No, they all stay.

[Seth Meyers]

Do we do some final questions?

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah. Should we do some final questions? So we usually ask final questions to our guests, but we've asked a lot of them the final question. So Josh is going to ask the final question, and I'm going to point to a random audience member to get their answer. Yeah. Okay. So here we go.

[Seth Meyers]

Also, I just want to say, did anyone get hurt by my glasses. Did I hurt? Okay. All right. It has been a concern of mine throughout this entire show. I'm very sorry.

[Josh Meyers]

I cannot stress you how little I thought of that.

[Seth Meyers]

Is your ideal vacation. Relaxing, adventurous, or educational?

[Josh Meyers]

Right there in the stripes. Yes. Relaxing. Educational. What are the other ones?

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, boy.

[Josh Meyers]

You really don't. You're the one who asks.

[Seth Meyers]

Relaxing adventures or educational?

[Josh Meyers]

Educational. Saw a bird.

[Seth Meyers]

Adventurous. Adventurous.

[Josh Meyers]

Solved a murder. What is it? Relaxing.

[Seth Meyers]

Very good.

[Josh Meyers]

All right, what's the next one?

[Seth Meyers]

What is your favorite means of transportation?

[Josh Meyers]

Raise a hand if you have a favorite means of transportation. I guess everybody has one. There's one right over there. Just yell it out. Train. We love it. Love it. Who also loves trains? Yeah, we need better trains.

[Seth Meyers]

If you could take a vacation with any family, alive or dead, real or fictional, other than your own family, what family would you like to take a trip with?

[Josh Meyers]

Come on, somebody. Raise. Raise a hand if you're gonna yell one out. The Myers family is a good pick. Myers. Bring your own clock because we don't share. Do you have one? What's your favorite? The full house Family.

[Seth Meyers]

If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be and why?

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah. Yes, Right there. Your dog. Your dog.

[Seth Meyers]

That's my mother in law.

[Josh Meyers]

Mother in law sitting next to your wife.

[Peter Gross]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And she's going to take her dog also, I think.

[Josh Meyers]

How many dogs do you have? Four.

[Peter Gross]

Lola.

[Larry Myers]

Right.

[Josh Meyers]

So in your head you just picked a favorite of four dogs.

[Seth Meyers]

It's Lola.

[Josh Meyers]

Lola the dog.

[Seth Meyers]

You knew it was Lola. Yeah, I knew it was Lola. Sorry, honey.

[Josh Meyers]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And someone who's from an obscure place that thinks that their obscure place would make for a great vacation destination.

[Josh Meyers]

Aruba. You're from Aruba. All right. I think Aruba has a good reputation for a vacation destination. Anybody from someplace that they feel like has a bad reputation for a vacation destination that they think would actually make. Yes. Brazil. Again. I think people want to go to Brazil.

[Seth Meyers]

I want to go to Brazil.

[Josh Meyers]

Jersey sure has a bad reputation, but it is genuinely a good place to go on vacation. Good family vacation. All right, anybody else from a weird. Yes, right there, sir. Nigeria. All right, that's good to hear. What is. If somebody was gonna go to Nigeria for a family vacation, where should they go? Calabar. And what would we experience in Calabar?

[Seth Meyers]

They eat dogs there.

[Josh Meyers]

Okay, you didn't say that. Okay, we'll put the first two and then. Yeah, we'll put Ike saying they're topless people at the beach. We'll just edit it in.

[Seth Meyers]

I think that's all we got.

[Josh Meyers]

Hey everybody. It is so wonderful for us to be home with our boom family and to do a family trips here. Thank you so much for joining us this afternoon.

[Seth Meyers]

Thank you, guys.

[Josh Meyers]

Thank you. Sufi. Have a great one, everybody.

[Seth Meyers]

Good night.

[Brendan Hunt]

It's just amazing. Thanks to all who came to see the show at the one and only Boom Chicago. Me and my bro worked here so long ago.

[Seth Meyers]

Seth lost his tonsils.

[Brendan Hunt]

He'D been getting stripped so very long Woman in his room she wore a thong mom said those aren't underpants they are just wrong so very wrong When Brendan sister came took her to Efteling in the rain but when it stopped how can I explain? They'd gone insane they had mushroom brains and Andrew and his son didn't get tickets for the ride Tron.

[Josh Meyers]

So Finn.

[Brendan Hunt]

Suggested that they just sneak on after Andrew he tried bribery Our buddy Peter went to buy a bike Some junkie stole news Photographer was on patrol.

[Josh Meyers]

Was.

[Brendan Hunt]

In the morning paper Pet parole.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Dude.

[Brendan Hunt]

Surprised Jill unannounced Her parents in town on a trip Asked her do you want to see See a magic trick his fly was down thank God Couldn't see his dick what a prick.

[Josh Meyers]

Mike.

[Brendan Hunt]

Went to the North Sea Holland in summer it's the place to be.

[Josh Meyers]

Plus.

[Brendan Hunt]

The Dutch are cool with nudity didn't expect to see makeup, movies.

[Josh Meyers]

Sunscreen was.

[Brendan Hunt]

Not applied as a result Ike was a sunburn guy A woman opened the door didn't believe her eyes had to wonder why he had your.

[Josh Meyers]

This live episode of Family Trips from Amsterdam was recorded in partnership with Airbnb.