HASAN MINHAJ Visited Marine World Africa USA

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "HASAN MINHAJ Visited Marine World Africa USA"

Podcast: Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers
Hosts: Seth Meyers and Josh Meyers
Guest: Hasan Minhaj
Date: August 19, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Seth and Josh Meyers sit down with comedian and storyteller Hasan Minhaj to revisit his childhood memories of family trips—particularly the bizarre and now-defunct Marine World Africa USA theme park in Vallejo, California. The conversation ranges from the multicultural complexities of growing up in an Indian-American household, epic cousin visits, and the cultural contrasts of holidays like Christmas, to broader reflections on memory, family dynamics, and theme park oddities. The episode is filled with Minhaj’s signature humor and heart, playful brother banter, and thoughtful takes on nostalgia, childhood, and family identity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introductions and Childhood Bumps (00:00–09:00)

• The episode kicks off with the Meyers brothers’ characteristic banter, joking about Josh’s recent dermatology experience ("lumpy bumpies"), clumsiness in their family, and a disastrous 4DX movie theater experience (“like a tire swing in a hurricane” – Seth, 06:06).
• Quote:
  “I left. It was not. This was not a cheap movie ticket that I had to…” – Seth (07:41), on abandoning the 4DX screening due to the wild, unexpected seat motion.

2. Hasan Minhaj Joins: Introducing Marine World Africa USA (11:02–14:32)

• Minhaj enters with jokes about his home Zoom setup and clarifies the difference between a “consigliere” and a “concierge.”
• Hasan sets the nostalgia stage by sharing a promo video of Marine World Africa USA, described as a combination “theme park / dinosaur exhibit / quasi torture facility for animals.” (12:30)
• The park, now defunct, was located between Sacramento and the Bay Area and featured killer whales, animatronic dinosaurs, tigers, and more—often with jarring thematic shifts.
• Quote:
  “It’s like Roller Coaster Hot Dog America.” – Hasan (15:18), on the park’s all-over-the-place branding.

3. Describing the Surreal Park Experience (13:40–18:18)

• The group riff on the odd local TV commercial Hasan shared, noting its wild pacing, bizarre animal combinations, and clear disregard for modern ethical standards.
• Highlight: The “Africa” in the name seemed mostly to justify random exotic animals on display—not an actual connection to Africa.
• Quote:
  “Is that where the dinosaurs are from?” – Seth (14:34), joking about the park’s odd title.

4. Family Visits & The Indian-American Immigrant Experience (17:23–29:36)

• Hasan recaps annual family visit rituals: relatives from India visiting, “showing them America” through recurring trips—to Marine World Africa USA, Lake Tahoe (“even though none of us skied”), or San Francisco.
• Big family groups, often in two Camrys, would tackle these excursions.
• Hasan reflects on the anticipation and dynamic of cousin visits, specifically the summer his cousin Fez came from Bangalore (the same summer Jurassic Park came out and the park added its dino exhibit).
• Quote:
  “For us, growing up, family trips were… We have to show them America.” – Hasan (16:12)
• The group discuss the distinctly American act of “upselling” your room and life to visiting cousins and reminisce about being the “ambassador” for the US side of the family.
• Quote:
  “When Fez came… there was anticipation in the air that he’s coming. I felt like a U.S. ambassador. I felt pretty freaking cool.” – Hasan (26:51)

5. Early ‘90s Vibes, Institutions, and American Soft Power (26:57–28:44)

• Minhaj nostalgically frames 1993 as peak American “soft power”—Home Alone 2-era Manhattan, Clinton’s first term, Jurassic Park, and a booming sense of national optimism.
• Quote:
  "I remember just seeing the Jurassic Park trailer... and thinking, this is the greatest country in the world." – Seth (27:42)

6. Childhood, Memory, and Social Dynamics (29:06–32:51)

• Discussion on how clearly each remembers being nine; Hasan describes his sharp memory for sports stats and cultural milestones, while the Meyers brothers admit to fuzzier recollections.
• There’s a comparison between East and West Coast childhoods—California’s lack of “camp culture,” replaced by backyard games, pools, and neighborhood basketball.

7. Family Structure and Parenting Then & Now (32:54–41:00)

• Minhaj explains his complex family logistics growing up: his mother, a physician, split time between the US and India for medical training, while his younger sister was raised in Delhi by grandparents.
• Peppered with details about family-run small businesses (his aunt’s personalized T-shirt shop) and what it meant to find “coolness” in the little things (like a shirt with your name on it).
• The group reflects on generational changes in parenting, the new world of home surveillance (“snitch city” with Nest cams), and what siblings learn from each other.
• Quote:
  “Now it’s just snitch city. It’s the full police state as used by parents, 100%.” – Seth (56:41)

8. Trips to India and The Paradox of Modern India (33:52–39:54)

• Hasan describes early and later trips to India, recommending it for its “everything, everywhere, all at once” energy. He points out the country’s embrace of paradoxes and contrasts (“things are true and not true at the same time.” – 35:48).
• Seth probes whether you need a “guide” to visit, with collective jokes about getting scammed, both abroad and in NYC.

9. Sibling Dynamics & Sense of Humor (52:15–55:40)

• A tangent about how siblings, especially brothers and sisters, share or shape each other's sense of humor and cultural fluency.
• Quote:
  “It’s like you can speak two languages… My sister knows what a Stone Cold Stunner is.” – Hasan (53:17)

10. Modern Parenting: Sibling Rivalry, Surveillance, and Digital “Paper Trails” (55:34–60:33)

• The group details sibling bickering, with Hasan describing his own kids’ (7 and 5) dynamic and his daughter’s “4D chess” mind games.
• A humorous yet real discussion on how digital paper trails (texts, security cams) will expose parents to their kids someday.
• Quote:
  “I basically assume there’s a Nest cam on me at all times as well. I live in no comfort.” – Seth (60:27)

11. Hasan & Ronnie Chieng: Upcoming Tour & Comedy Chemistry (60:33–61:50)

• Hasan previews his upcoming fall tour with Ronny Chieng, promising a “debate to the death” onstage with togetherness, chaos, and crowd involvement.
• Quote:
  “It’s gonna be like a CNN Town Hall meets Eric Andre Show on acid.” – Hasan (61:39)

12. Speed Round: Favorites, Recommendations, and Grand Canyon Hot Takes (61:57–65:51)

• Lightning-round questions reveal:
  • Hasan’s ideal vacation is “100% relaxing” (62:04)
  • Favorite transport: Amtrak’s Acela (62:09)
  • Stranded-on-an-island pick: his sister (“My mom’s iPad and my dad’s phone have made it worse. It’s aged them an additional 10 years.” – 64:02)
  • Would he recommend Davis, CA as a vacation? Playful but prideful defense: “85% of Americans live in the equivalent of Sacramento. … Don’t act like you’re better than me because you live in Plano, Texas.” (64:29)
• Grand Canyon:
  Seth: Have you been to the Grand Canyon?
  Hasan: “Yes.”
  Seth: Was it worth it?
  Hasan: “No.” (65:52)

13. Reflections on Kids & Nature (66:01–67:49)

• Is nature “wasted on the youth”? Open to interpretation, but they agree that even if kids don’t notice nature explicitly now, “it lays a foundation for a lifelong respect.”
• Seth’s son Ash is an exception—obsessed with trees and nature.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It was a theme park / dinosaur exhibit / quasi torture facility for animals...”
  – Hasan Minhaj, on Marine World Africa USA (12:30)
• “It’s like Roller Coaster Hot Dog America.”
  – Hasan (15:18)
• “When Fez came… there was anticipation in the air... I felt like a U.S. ambassador.”
  – Hasan (26:51)
• “We’d go to Lake Tahoe… we wouldn’t ski. We would sled and stand in front of snow.”
  – Hasan (17:23)
• “Now it’s just snitch city. It’s the full police state as used by parents, 100%.”
  – Seth (56:41)
• “Things are true and not true at the same time.”
  – Hasan, about India (35:48)
• “I basically assume there’s a Nest cam on me at all times as well. I live in no comfort.”
  – Seth (60:27)
• “It’s gonna be like a CNN Town Hall meets Eric Andre Show on acid.”
  – Hasan, on his tour with Ronny Chieng (61:39)
• “Have you been to the Grand Canyon? … Was it worth it? – No.”
  – Quick Q&A (65:49–65:52)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:00–09:00 – Sibling banter, movie theater disaster story
• 11:02 – Hasan Minhaj joins, theme park introduction
• 12:30–15:02 – Marine World Africa USA explained and riffed upon
• 17:23–18:18 – Family trips and cousin Fez’s visit
• 26:57–28:44 – 1993 as “peak America”
• 32:54–33:52 – Family structure, personalized T-shirts
• 33:52–41:00 – Trips to India and navigating cultural paradox
• 52:15–55:40 – Sibling humor, influence on personality
• 60:33–61:50 – Upcoming tour with Ronny Chieng explained
• 61:57–65:51 – Speed round and hometown recommendations
• 65:49–66:27 – Grand Canyon verdict & nature talk

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Tone & Style

The episode is lighthearted, frequently self-deprecating, and warm, blending sharp wit with genuine insights about family, memory, and cross-cultural childhoods. Hasan’s humor and storytelling mesh seamlessly with the Meyers brothers’ playful chemistry, making for a memorable, inviting listen.

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Summary Takeaway

Hasan’s trip down memory lane—anchored by the eccentric Marine World Africa USA park—becomes a lens for discussing the joys and absurdities of immigrant family rituals, the enduring need for nostalgia, and the rites of passage that shape every family. Listeners come away amused, a little enlightened, and invited to reflect on their own family trips—whether filled with sleds, tigers, or butter-soaked movie seats.

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Upcoming:
Hasan Minhaj and Ronny Chieng’s co-headlined tour begins October 3rd. Tickets at hasanhatesroni.com or ronniehateshasan.com.

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Transcript

[A]

Hi, buddy.

[B]

Hi, suv.

[A]

How are you doing?

[B]

I'm good. I don't know if you notice, but I got all these spots on my face.

[A]

I did notice. And this is. We've been zooming for a couple hours because we just recorded an episode and I didn't want to call out your spots, but you do have them. And I'm assuming it's dermatology related.

[B]

It is dermatology related. I had some. Some like blocked oil ducts.

[A]

Gotcha.

[B]

Sebaceous somethings.

[A]

I thought you might. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's Mackenzie calls him. I had some lumpy bumpies.

[A]

You had some lumpy bumpies. Wait now were you surprised at how many they found?

[B]

Yeah, I sort of. There were a couple that I pointed out and then the dermatologist really went to town.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it looks like I sort of like went hunting with Dick Cheney.

[A]

Yeah. Or like ran through a field of bees.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

By the way. Yeah. We'll get back to. You know, Ash is so clumsy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like he came into our room the other day. He like, it was night and the lights weren't on and he walked to our room and he's like, sorry I'm late. No surprise here. I stubbed my toe and I just like that even he knows. But he was. We were having sort of a dinner party and he was bartending for us, which is very fun.

[B]

Good. Yeah.

[A]

Although.

[B]

Except Clumsy was the lead.

[A]

Clumsy, but actually not. He was. Somebody ordered. Just wanted a spin drift. And he ran across the lawn. And I watched him literally as he was running. It looked like he got hit with an invisible baseball. Cuz he ran into a bee and like only Ash could like run. Like a bee didn't come for Ash. Like Ash just ran into a bee and it stung him on his lip. And I'm just like, man, trouble is out to find you, my friend.

[B]

Yeah, I. I don't know if we talked about this here, but I had to tell dad recently that I thought he's too aggressive towards bees that are bothering other people.

[A]

Interesting. Interesting observation.

[B]

Yeah. So I guess. Where were we? Just we were with them.

[A]

It is so. By the way, it makes me laugh so hard that it got to a point that you had to tell him.

[B]

Well, cuz I was home with him and he's like talking to somebody and he'd be like, there's a bee next to you. And then he'd like try to like slap the bee, which just makes the be angry.

[A]

Yeah, no, the bees don't care for that.

[B]

And he's like, you know, some people don't like bees and.

[A]

Sure, I don't think anybody likes a bee.

[B]

I like a bee.

[A]

Oh, interesting. Near your head.

[B]

I. If a bee is near my head, the last thing I'm going to do is swat at it.

[A]

Well, I will say, with the current state of your face, what's a bee sting going to do? Got to blend right in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Might even. Might even you out a little bit.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I'm dealing with. Dealing with this.

[A]

You deal with it. So you got your lumpy bumpies. I mean, again, my lumpy bumpies.

[B]

I had a legit thing on my shoulder that I had to come up off that was like, going to be problematic. It was one of those, like, very basic skin cancer, easiest basal cell thing. And I was like, hey, while we're at it, let's take care of these things. And she really?

[A]

Yeah. How long did it take her to. To. To do the ducks on your face?

[B]

Oh, like three minutes.

[A]

Oh, really? What she did to your face? What I'm seeing in three minutes?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Probably less, maybe.

[A]

No, about three minutes now as she's doing them, I. And again, this sounds like I'm gonna setting up a joke. This is a serious medical question. As she's doing each one, does she like sort of say what she's doing? And does she sort of like go duck ducked? And then does she say goose and run around? No, she does not. Okay.

[B]

Mackenzie did ask. She's like, what did she use? And I'm like, I don't know. Like I'm. I can't see what she's doing to my face. Like something's coming in. Some implement and then a follow up implement. And she's like, well, is it like, were they like getting lanced? I was like, I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, Alexi does that too, where every time I see the doctor, she thinks, I also learned how to be a doctor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, no, I just went. I let them kind of take over. Like, I can't tell you doctoring. Once the equipment came out, I wasn't like, oh, let's see if I can pick up any skills here. Maybe save some money on medical school.

[B]

Yeah. So anyhow, so I got this going on, which is pretty cool.

[A]

Gotcha. Yeah, I went to. Oh, go ahead.

[B]

You were going to talk about going to the movies. Yeah, yeah, I was gonna.

[A]

Well, I texted you last night, and I will say you kind of led me astray. I don't want to.

[B]

Well, I do have something in my Defense, but go on.

[A]

All right. So you go to movies. I do not go to movies. I mean, I love movies. It's just like, you know, my kids and whatever. Yeah, I've gone to movies. But I was going. I wanted to see weapons. Everybody's talking about weapons. It's Monday night.

[B]

Weapons. I like weapons.

[A]

And I was like, I'm gonna go check it out. So I realized that the ticket I want is listed as a 4 dx ticket. And I'm wondering what 40x is. I don't know if that's sound. I don't know if that's 3D. So I write my old. My old brother of mine, Pashi, and I'm like, what do you know about this 40x? And what did you tell me?

[B]

I said, it's fun. And there are settings on the seat for intensity. And you can turn it off.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And if you turn it off, then you're just, like, in a seat, and no problem. So if you don't like the sort of the movement, the moving around, then you can turn it off.

[A]

Anyway, I'm walking in this theater feeling like a million bucks. Cock of the walk. Yeah. Because I've timed it. I'm 15 minutes after the ticket says, oh, right.

[B]

Which is so, like, you're missing all.

[A]

The trailers, by the way. Still. Still full trailers when I get there. Sure, sure. Full theater. And when I bought my ticket, there were only, like, three open seats, which, by the way, bravo, Weapons. On a Monday night in New York City. Yeah, but I'm going to my seat. And now previews have started, but, like, the movie hasn't started. The guy next to me in my seat has the biggest tub of popcorn on my seat also, somehow, already seven dirty napkins. Yeah, yeah. And I think he, like, you know, he's just been buttering his hands in this big old tub of popcorn, like, just wiping them off and throwing. Now, to his credit, he sees me and he's like, oh, man, I'm so sorry. Immediately knew he was in the wrong.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And. But then he picks up the tub and all his napkins, and then there's, like, a thousand kernels, and he's, like, brushing them off, and I don't feel like I. First of all, I don't want to help with his butterfingers. With his butterfingers, no less. He's buttering the seed now, and. And he's, like, brushing him off. And I don't want. You know, it's not that I don't want to help, it's just Like I don't want to like our hands to touch while we're like butter brushing. Finally have. You know. And then I'm standing up during previews. I feel bad because I'm in front of people. Anyway, then I sit down and it's the trailer for the Running man. And my seat starts jerking back and forth. I mean like, like a tire swing in a hurricane. It's like, whoa. Ah. And. And I. And a guy goes, yeah, because now he and I are, you know, he were friends. And he's like, right? Yeah, man, it really, really jerks you around. I'm like, how you can you turn it off? Because again, I've been given information from you that you could. And he goes, no, man, you can only turn off the spray because there's like a water spray. And sure enough, I look down and there's one button that's like water on and off. And I mean pashi. Maybe it was just because the Running man trailer, but like it was non stop jerking. And then like, I mean like a 80 year old woman who did not care for the service at a restaurant. Like I stood up and I'm like, I'm out.

[B]

And that's it. You left.

[A]

I left. It was not. This was not a cheap movie ticket that I had to.

[B]

That you pay for that jerk and.

[A]

Pay for that experience. So what's your defense?

[B]

My. Well, my defense is the one time I have seen a movie like this.

[A]

It was like, it was like a very quiet drama so there was no hurting.

[B]

Like it was a Godzilla vs King Kong kind of movie. I saw the Materialists, Jill 40X Jill and her kids. And. And in LA where I've gone to see them at the seat. They're called D box. Like do you want these D box tickets? And I assume you're a D box.

[A]

For not telling me how awful it was going to be.

[B]

I assume the d box and 40x is the same type of party.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I've only had occasion to be in such a seat one time and it was a D box seat.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Which you could turn off to level one, two or three.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I apologize that I assumed my knowledge of the D box was equivalent knowledge of 4Dx.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But they're not or not banned.

[A]

I will send you an invoice for the ticket. Also, you know what? When it was herkin and jerking, I kept sliding onto the floor. You know why?

[B]

Why is that?

[A]

My seat had been buttered. Hassan Minhaj is a fantastic comedian. You might know him from Patriot Act. Homecoming King. It's one of his many specials. He's on tour this summer with another. Maybe not this summer. I think starting in the fall with another family trips guest, Ronny Chang.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I think it's King's Jester. It is the king's Jester.

[A]

You're right. I'm sorry.

[B]

Homecoming king. You were probably talking about yourself because you were the homecoming king.

[A]

I was in the homecoming king court. I did not win, but I was. I was somewhere around. I was in the running.

[B]

Were you the harvest King?

[A]

No, I wasn't the harvest King.

[B]

I was the harvest King.

[A]

You were the harvest King. Look at you. We were. We were. It was a real monarchy at Manchester West High School. He also. You might know him from the Daily show, which is obviously. Hold on. I am sorry. He also. He homecoming king. He also has a special called Homecoming King.

[B]

For Real.

[A]

Yeah. Hold on real quick now. I'm. I'm very conf. This is. This is what people like. You're right now you're worried because you're like, this isn't good.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he does. He does.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't try to.

[B]

King's Jester.

[A]

I mean, he's got a lot of kings. He might. He might have a bit of a. A king's. Whatever you call it. King. King complex. Yeah. Off with his head. By the way, his last one was called off with his Head, which is another great special. And that also has some King Kingsley vibes to it.

[B]

It sure does. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Something tells me there's a theme.

[A]

Yeah. You got to be really playing the long game when you theme. Name all your specials, but they're all really good. He's a great conversation. So do please enjoy our time with Hassan Family Ch.

[B]

Family chips with.

[A]

Yeah. How are you?

[C]

How are you? Good.

[B]

S. You look like a real, like, consiglieri and like, it's a very nice setup you've got there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you looking to go anywhere in the city that I can.

[A]

It's. Yeah. I didn't realize how, like, you're very, like, sort of fashionably slick back hair would pop in front of wood paneling. Like, that's really what's going on.

[C]

Yeah, it's very concierge desk. Now that I see myself.

[A]

I meant.

[B]

Consigliere, like, sort of dealing with a.

[A]

Yeah, he meant a Mafia died godfather. Oh, oh, oh.

[C]

This. This way. Okay. Gotcha.

[B]

Yeah. I was elevating you above.

[A]

What? What?

[B]

You took that.

[A]

He said consigliere and you heard concierge. Now, Austin I'm very excited because you're the first guest on our show who in preparation you gave us a little research. You sent us a 30 second video for a theme park. A 30 second promo YouTube video. I want to. What is it called? I've never heard of it. Marine World Africa usa. Marine World Africa usa, which is a terrible name. I never heard of it. No, I've never heard of Marine World Africa usa. Tell us more.

[C]

So let me give context. I grew up in the Sacramento area, which is Northern California. Davis, California. Specifically my. Both of my parents. My mother still works for the VA right next to the Mather Air Force Base. Father, state employee for the state of California. So that's what brought us there. But Marine World Africa USA was a theme park slash dinosaur exhibit slash quasi torture facility for animals that was located in Vallejo, California. That's halfway between where Sacramento is and the Bay Area is. So it is technically Bay Area, but they built this theme park in the 70s/80s that was this combination. It was a theme park. It was like it had a killer whale and then it had a huge dinosaur exhibit. But they were just animatronic dinosaurs.

[B]

Yeah, one of those, one of those dinosaurs has like blood all around his mouth. It's like clearly eating some other dinosaur.

[A]

We're gonna put it in the show notes. I can't. It's a 30 second commercial, local commercial for this.

[B]

They pack a lot into that 30 seconds.

[A]

There's like seven giant. It's like a. I think you should leave sketch with how many craz like tone shifts there in the 30 seconds?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

So.

[C]

So in the 30 second spot you will see, you will see like a jet ski show. You will see a killer show, dolphins doing this kind of like vertical perpendicular dance, which is still pretty cool. I mean, yeah, of course.

[A]

I always like a vertical dolphin. I'm never going to say is. There's nothing shabby about that.

[C]

Yeah, A tiger and then a family having fun. And you, you can see it all at Marine World Africa usa.

[B]

And lots of dinosaurs.

[C]

Yeah, and dinosaurs.

[A]

The. What is the Africa referring to? Is that where the dinosaurs are from?

[C]

I think, I think Africa is to explain why they have flamingos and God.

[A]

Tiger. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Why do you have a, you have a tiger here?

[A]

But it's so funny because like the San Diego Zoo chose not to have Africa in its title. And I think people aren't like freaked.

[B]

Out when they see tigers like that. That animal's not supposed to be here.

[A]

That's not from San Diego.

[C]

Do you guys Ever have this with, like, pitching a show? When you have to do the log line of a show, they go, so what. What is the show? Yeah, this. This is Marine World Africa, usa.

[A]

This is what all theme parks would be named if they had to go through the pitching process.

[C]

Yeah, like, it's like roller coaster hot dog America.

[A]

Right. It's like Breaking Bad meets the bear meets Africa.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. So this was a park that you went to, I'm guessing.

[C]

Yes, many a time. Many a time.

[A]

So I would just. I will just jump in and say how very funny it would be if your answer was, I've never been just. And I'm hoping you guys will pay for me to go.

[C]

Well, see, the thing, it's closed. It's defunct now. So if you go. If you go on YouTube, by the way, there's. There's a bunch of, like, YouTube documentaries about marine world Africa, USA. And the title in all of them is it's. It's almost like blackface meets a theme park. They're like, this could never happen today. What they did was wrong. They should not have a Bengal tiger in Vallejo. Like, this is like, the animals are being. There should not be a chimpanzee there next to a Nike outlet. All of this is weird. So it's like they're giving all this historical context. But so the story is, I sent you guys some photos from 1993. And for us, growing up, family trips were. I'm one of two families. My family's originally from India. We're one of two families that arrived in the United States. So my dad came in 1982. His older sister co sponsored his visa to bring him here. But a very common thing would be, is every year you would have family from the motherland come visit. And those were our family vacations. It was like, we have to show them America. And so we went to one of three places we would go to Marine World Africa, usa, Lake Tahoe, even though none of us skied. And no one in India, like, we live in Delhi. We go to Lake Tahoe. We wouldn't ski. We would sled and, like, just stand in front of snow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then you go to downtown San Francisco. You go to San Francisco and, like, go to the pier and be like, look. Look at this amazing, beautiful downtown. But the photos that I sent you was 1993, the summer that my cousin Fez, who lives in Bangalore, came and visited us. And we took him to go to Marine World Africa, usa. And it was a huge deal because the year they did Their dinosaur exhibit was the same year Jurassic park came out.

[A]

Yeah. Oh.

[B]

Male.

[C]

Yeah, it was a big deal, probably.

[A]

I would imagine one might have had a little bit to do with the other. Or maybe Marine World Africa, usa, had to start their dinosaur planning years in advance. And it was just good timing. Who knows?

[C]

Yeah, possibly. And they're like, they beat us to the pitch and. Yeah, like the, you can see the pterodactyl. It's like old and animatronic.

[B]

And it didn't look like it took years to put together.

[A]

Dinosaur exhibit.

[B]

Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors.

[A]

Support for family trips comes from Airbnb. Apache football season is about to kick off. We're going to plan another trip to Pittsburgh. And one of the great developments in recent years is that we're going to stay at an Airbnb.

[B]

It's great because we get to be sort of at home when we're away from home. We get all the creature comforts that we get when we go home to visit mom and dad. We get to sit around on the couch. We get to make our coffee in the morning and have breakfast around a little breakfast nook table. And it's only through Airbnb that that's possible.

[A]

And it's cool because it's, you know, where dad grew up. And I think sometimes one of the hardest things about going back to, you know, a place that used to be your hometown is staying in a hotel that brings you away from the experience, experiences you remember. So it is very homey and you feel closer to your roots when you're in, you know, well kept apartment or a well kept home. And I really enjoy the fact that people are sharing the joy of where they live with travelers like us.

[B]

Absolutely. And it's nice because we're not staying. Not that I don't love downtown Pittsburgh, I really do. But it's great to be in a neighborhood which is what we've been doing the last few years. And it just feels like you live there.

[A]

You know, some make memories by staying in one. And also as a host, you can give memories to other and make a little money on the side. Your home could be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] Host support comes from naked Wine. Hey, Paji. Hey, Sufi. You know, nothing says you are a great guest like arriving with a bottle of wine. And let me tell you something, Paschi. I love being a guest and I love when people invite me to their homes and I'M always trying to do everything I can to make them invite me back a second time, which is why I like to bring a bottle of wine and is why I'd like to recommend Naked Wines as a way to make that easier on yourself.

[B]

Oh, my gosh, so much easier. Because also I'll go into a store sometimes and I need to, you know, grab some wine to go over to someone's house for dinner maybe. And I don't know what I'm getting. I don't know what to look for necessarily. I like being able to go to Naked Wines and saying, this is what I like. You know, I like a good Pinot Noir. And I just have confidence that the wines that I'm going to get from them are going to be good. And also that I don't have to go into a store where everyone knows just by the look of me that I don't know what I'm talking about.

[A]

You're a sucker.

[B]

I'm a sucker. And someone's going to be able to come over and upsell me something. And Naked Wines, they get you amazing wine straight from the winery. Up to 60% less than what you would pay in the store.

[A]

Yeah. By cutting out extra costs, like middleman markups, winemakers can pass those savings on to you with without skimping on quality. And I think that's a really important note here, Pashi. These wines are coming from wineries. This isn't just two guys in the back of a van, right? Like stepping on grapes and stuff?

[B]

No, not at all.

[A]

This is a high quality, professional operation. Now is the time to join the naked wines community. Head to nakedwines.com trips click enter voucher and put in code trips for both the code and password for six bottles of wine for just $39.99 with shipping included. That's $100 off your first six bottles at nakedwines.com trips and use the code and password. Trips for six bottles of wine for 39.99. That's a real discount. Posh. Yeah, that's. You know what? That's such a good discount that not only should you do it, but like at the dinner party, I think your first toast should be to Posh and.

[B]

I and to Naked Wines.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

I saw it in action when you picked up the bill last time I.

[B]

Was in la, well, you didn't have your wallet or your phone.

[A]

Oh, my phone was in my pocket. But you love your Apple card, right?

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And that Titanium card, always a conversation.

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[C]

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[e-mail].

[B]

So were those trips when family came over, Was it always in the summer and the like? Was it at the same time of the year? Anytime they came, it was generally during.

[C]

The summer, summer break, which is if you've been to Sacramento, if you've been in Northern California during the summer. Excruciatingly hot. Yeah, so, so hot. And so the, the trips were incredibly painful. We would be notoriously dehydrated.

[A]

And.

[C]

I think there were two types of families. But there's nothing that like you really test the dynamics socially and economically of where a family is based on how they behave in a theme park, in my opinion. Yeah, like you get a pretty good sense of everyone's worst instincts in that.

[A]

When family would visit, how much family would visit. Like how. How big a group were you rolling into? Marine World Africa, usa.

[C]

Yeah, so Fez, that's another four. So we're, we're like eight deep.

[A]

Okay, gotcha.

[C]

Yeah, so I had a cousin, he's my age, he's a little bit older than me. And then we had another cousin, she was my sister's age. And so that's four kids, two parents on each side. Two Camrys loaded up. Let's go.

[B]

Yeah, it was Fez. And was Fez impressed?

[C]

Fez was quite impressed. I mean, we did go. So he arrives, we go to the Holiday Cinema, which is the local movie theater in Davis, still exists. And we went to go see like a evening showing of Jurassic park. And it was fucking awesome for an 8 year old. Like oh my God, it was incredible. He was two or three years older than me and so it was equally awesome for him. And then that weekend we went to Marine World Africa, usa.

[A]

Do you wish you'd done it in the reverse order and seen the. Those pterodactyls first?

[C]

Yeah. Actually would have been more comical. That and great.

[A]

What is your. When Fez shows up, like how well do you know him? I would imagine having family in India. Like obviously you know their family, but I can't imagine you're seeing each other that often.

[C]

You don't know each other particularly well. But there is this thing that is still common to this day because I have a five year old son, I have a seven year old daughter, a five year old son. When you see a boy hang out with older boys.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If a 5 year old hangs out with an 8 year old or an 8 year old hangs out with an 11 year old or even my son sometimes with 12 year olds will try to like upsell how cool he is. The seventh graders. And it's pretty, it's, it's very endearing because he's giving it his all. They could give a shit about him. But he actually doesn't, he doesn't know that he's bombing like, but he's kind of like upselling his room. And I did this, I did the same thing like when Fez came, like this is my room. Like you're going to stay here. And so he wasn't like my nemesis. And we're still, we're still very cool to this day. And he ended up coming to law school. He lived in New York. So when I first got hired at the Daily Show, I stayed with him like so we stayed close for years and years and years. But I do remember distinctly, like there was anticipation in the air that he's coming. And yeah, I felt like a U.S. ambassador. I felt pretty freaking cool.

[A]

Did you have cool points for being the American? I mean was Fez, do you think? And yeah, 100.

[C]

And like, you know, it reminds me, you know, while we're having this conversation, we're seeing like American institutions crumbling.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But 1993, American institutions, my like, oh my God, they were great. Like that year. If you got to think about Manhattan in 1993, we're talking about Home Alone 2, Manhattan, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like we're talking about Clinton 1 pre Lewinsky we're talking about. I. I think we. It was the first time we had a budget surplus as a country as well, which is like in all of these things sound insane to say.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But, yeah, everything was really, really shiny and pretty great institutions wise.

[A]

I mean, I remember, you know, to go back there. I remember just seeing the Jurassic park trailer on TV the first time. Yeah. And thinking, this is the greatest country in the world.

[B]

President's playing the saxophone and everyone's just jamming out.

[A]

We're listening to Fleetwood Mac again. What a time.

[C]

I was like, that's soft power. And now we're like, yeah, Jake Paul's gonna fight Mike Tyson.

[A]

We had. We just went on a trip back to Amsterdam where we used to live. And I brought my 9 year old and we. He was hanging out with. With a kid who was like 13. And it's so funny because we have. I was going back through the pictures and you look at the photos and it's my. It's the most my son has ever smiled in any photo he takes with this kid. And the other one looks like a cardboard cutout. Every photo he looks exactly the same because it's almost like he doesn't want to get caught on film looking excited to be with a nine. But it was so, so cool for Ash, and I'm really happy he got that vibe.

[B]

Yeah. Ash kept wanting to, like, ride those rides and sit with our, you know, our buddy Jill's son, Jackson. And Jackson was just sort of like, all right, yeah.

[A]

Meanwhile, I'm desperate. It was the first time my son was on a roller coaster. I was like, desperate to ride with him. He's like, nah, man, I'm going with Jackson. I'm like, oh, boy. Fine. All right, share it with Jackson. He's super into it.

[C]

Do you remember. Do you guys remember being nine? Do you remember being that age?

[B]

I think so. I'm not great with memory, but I, you know, I. I remember places and I remember certain, like, you know, holidays, but I don't have.

[A]

I don't. I think my answer is no. And my wife, I feel like, could write like a word for word exactly what happened when she was nine. I think I'm. It's fascinating to be married to someone with a photographic memory for things and, and experiences, but I don't.

[B]

Do you.

[A]

How are you with nine?

[C]

Very good. I'm like, super, very, like, clear. Like, I know how the Sacramento Kings did that year. I know who played in the NBA finals. I remember the OJ Simpson chase they stopped. The Knicks were playing the Rockets. They stopped the game.

[B]

I mean, yeah, I remember I was in Craig Bouchard's basement for that one.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember. Like, there's also distinct memories because as kids, I don't know if. So in California, this like camp culture isn't a thing. When I moved to New York, I realized in the Northeast this going to camp is a big thing. But in the, in California, it was just like you're either on a soccer team, a basketball team, or just backyard vibes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You're just going to, you're going to Connor's backyard to play with his older brother or you're playing like two hand touch football at the park. Like, that's really. It was just that. And so I, I remember distinct moments in that way of like, oh, Michael had a pool and we would go to his pool. And then like he had an older sister and she would invite your friends. Like I, I distinctly remember those things.

[B]

Yeah. And you had, you have a younger sister as well?

[C]

Yeah, I have a younger sister. Yes.

[B]

And a strange. Because your mom was back and forth to India.

[C]

Yeah, she was going to medical school. Going to medical school. She almost crossed the country to complete her degree. She did her residency in New York, then she did her rotations in Stockton, California, which is like close but far from Davis. Grew up. It's like, it's quite a drive. And then me and my dad were in Davis and then my sister was raised by my grandparents in Delhi. So this is like we were. Yeah, we were actually like kind of like a traveling visa situation.

[B]

So for most of your sort of younger years, it was you and your dad were at the unit.

[C]

In my pockets.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

And so that, that kind of trip to Marine World was also. I think it was like year one or year two that Aisha, my younger sister's back cousins from India are coming. I'm eight, nine years old, so I'm kind of like coming into my own too, where I feel like a teenager, but I'm still like a kid at heart.

[B]

So.

[C]

Yeah, it was a good time. I think in the photo that I sent you, I'm wearing a T shirt that has my name on it, which is so weird. My aunt, my. My aunt who brought my dad over, she owned a T shirt store. So if you've ever been to Sacramento, there's a place called Old Sacramento, which is just like. It's a tourist trap. It's like, it's the river. Buy like Laffy Taffy. And then like go do a. Go to like an old timey railroad museum. She owned a little store that would do these. They would do quasi, like almost like Etsy T shirts. So they would have like a shirt instead of Top Gun, it would say Top Duck and it'd be like a.

[B]

Duck sounds like a good shirt for an 8 year old.

[C]

Man the plane, you know. And so she sold a ton of those. And at the time, for some reason, one of her highest sellers would. Kids would come in with their parents and they'd be like, just put Brandon across the chest. For my birthday, she just got me a T shirt that said like my name. And I thought it was so cool. I'm like, that's my. It's my name on a T shirt. How cool is that?

[A]

Yeah, that gave you a taste. You're like, oh, I gotta be famous. I want this vibe. But not just on the shirt.

[C]

Yeah. But now as a parent, I'm like, how? Why did anyone allow this?

[A]

It's so funny.

[C]

There's no, there's no world where I would put my children's names on like a T shirt and walk around.

[A]

Yeah, I'm always a little. I mean, I, you know, my kids, like, I got them like personalized soccer jerseys with their last name on it. I'm like, this is so dumb just walking around. Are you. Did you ever take a trip to India when you were little?

[C]

So we took the first trip was when my, my, my sister was two months old. I was four at the time, so I don't even remember this trip. We drop her off with my grandparents and then we, we came back. We would start coming like third grade, fourth grade. Then I would start to go, got it. Like third. Now I go, I go twice a year now. Like, I go see my family there all the time. It's super fun. I would say. Have you got, have you guys ever been.

[A]

I have.

[C]

Josh Seth.

[B]

No.

[C]

Oh, my.

[B]

Yeah, my wife has. I've noticed.

[C]

No, it's a must. Like, gotta check it out.

[A]

All right, great. So this is. Because I feel like this is a place. I think they're, you know, I think this is weirdly, like India is like very much based on like certain people have read certain fiction and are like, oh my God, I want, like, I want to go there so badly. What is the draw? Like, if you were someone who didn't have family there, what's the trip?

[C]

Okay, so I'd recommend two things. There's a book called Shantaram. Have you guys read that?

[A]

That's the Book. That's the one where everybody. I feel like everybody's read Shantaram. Like, just like it has an itch.

[C]

Yeah, the book, right? And so, like, here's what it is. And obviously, born and born in the States, you know, grew up in Davis. NorCal 916530. As American as it can get. But one of the things Americans and what I mean by that is, like, the country really struggles with is we are not good at grappling with paradox. Two things being true at once. And if you go to India and you go to Delhi or if you go to Bombay, everything everywhere, all at once is happening. Like Spider man across the spider verse. Every version of the multiverse is happening, and you just have to be okay with that. So I'll give you a common example. So one of my cousins right now is supposed to get married in October. I got a WhatsApp from my dad. Being like, the wedding is off. I go, cool. Dad, should me and Bina cancel the United flight? And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't jump to that. And perfectly summarizes India of, like, things are true and not true at the same time.

[A]

Right? Getting married.

[C]

No, but he totally is getting married in October. Like, both of these things are happening at. And, like, one of the cool things that Shantaram, you can just see is. Is, like, all of that. All of that is happening of, like, modernity, classicism, antiquity. Like, you will see an ancient Mughal fort. You will see still, like, these little beautiful. Almost like vestiges of a British colonial past. Right? You'll see the big welcoming gates for the queen. Like, that's on the water in Mumbai. A bustling downtown. And then. But it's everything. So it's all of those things just happening at once. You'll see, like, a bizarre. Bizarre, as if you're in, like, Alibaba and the 40 thieves. Like, this kind of, like, night market. But then it's. It's next to an Andaz hotel that's, like, beautiful. Or the Taj Palace. So it's all of those happening at once that make it such a very vibrant, robust city versus what New York has now become, which is essentially Hudson Yards. Like, it's. It's all just become a version of Dubai of, like, there's another H and M. Yeah.

[A]

Do you think you have to be, like, wired a certain way to fully appreciate an Indian vacation?

[C]

I think go. Me and you, we're gonna. We should go.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It would be. Would be so fun.

[A]

We.

[C]

Let's just do A field piece for the show. It would be so much fun.

[B]

Do you need a guide, or do you just do it? I feel like my sort of impression and Shantaram doesn't make me think differently about this, is that there will be people approaching me saying that they're gonna help me out and take me to, like, good places, and I don't know if I should trust those people.

[C]

Don't. Don't trust those people. Okay. No, yeah. You should go with a friend.

[A]

And I do want to just jump in and just in case we're making this clear, Josh, don't go anywhere with people when you're on vacation who say they want to take you.

[B]

I did do that when I was in Thailand, and it didn't. It didn't work out well.

[A]

But, like, don't do it in Indianapolis. Like, it's not about, like, foreign lands.

[C]

That's true too. It's like, you landed at an airport. Yeah. In Charlotte.

[A]

Around the first time I came to New York, I came. I remember I came in on Penn Station, and I had a. Because I was coming to move. I was coming for a summer for an internship, and I walked out, and the guy was like, you need a taxi? And I was like, I do need a taxi. It's like 20 bucks. And so I gave 20 bucks to a guy, and then he walked me to a taxi, and I got in the taxi, and he closed the door, and I realized, that guy doesn't work for this taxi. Like, I just gave $20.

[B]

Paid him.

[A]

I just gave $20 to a dude to walk me to a taxi. And I was like. I even said to the driver, I'm like, hey, this might sound dumb. I just gave $20 to that guy. Is that. He's like, no, man. I was like, all right. Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Right, right, right, right. And I think a thing it'll also test is, like, your internal intuition, which. Yeah, yeah, I would imagine you need to, like. Yeah, it's been ubereats and doordash has dulled that, but you have to kind of really grapple and reconcile with that there. But what's also cool. And again, this was always a culture shift for me, which was the moment you enter someone's house, the hospitality and warmth and all of that, like, you are accounted for and taken care of. Your itinerary is done. Do you have to deal with meeting their parents and everything being, like, emotionally over. But in exchange for that, you literally do not have to go on tripadvisor.com, like, right. Everything. Everything is covered Like a street eatery to a restaurant to like what you're gonna do day to day, it's, it's done for and covered.

[A]

Yeah. You go back twice a year. Do you and Bina always bring the kids?

[C]

Yes, we bring the kids.

[A]

Yeah. Gotcha.

[B]

And then what is. I mean, it's not nothing to fly to India. So how long are you there for?

[C]

Depending on like, so there's the stand up schedule or winter break. So for, for us, you know, this like kind of in showbiz, December 19th to January 7th, everybody's like, pencils down.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

For some reason, these pencils down. And so growing up in a Muslim household, we didn't celebrate Christmas. So Christmas was super depressing because I just remember as a kid, Christmas was the time where none of my friends could hang out. Right. So I go to like, Chris's house and he's like, sorry. Like, my, like my grandparents are here, like, my aunt's here. Like, so December 24th, December 25th was just a wrap. And so as we got older, we would just start using winter breaks as the time to go because the weather actually in India is really great. It's not super hot. It's their winter as well. And then you can, you can spend two and a half weeks.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But by the way, I came to find out that Christmas quite underwhelming. Christmas Day.

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean, it depends.

[A]

It's like just shorter than you think. Like, as far as like the part that's actually Christmas.

[C]

So you guys would open presents in the morning and then you're done by like one.

[B]

I mean, well, we wake, I mean, we wake up. We probably wake up before our parents. We open our stockings before our parents wake up. Parents come downstairs, mom makes breakfast. We have sort of a big breakfast. Then we open presents kind of slowly. Then there's football on. So we're watching football. If we have toys, if we're young enough for toys, we sort of are putting those toys together, playing with those. Then there's a big dinner. Usually watch a movie. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like our Christmas days here.

[A]

Are pretty packed, but it's a lot of just a day off to do stuff you would do on other days off. Wait, what do you like the foot like saying? Like, we watch a movie. Like, you know, that's not like Christmas.

[C]

Well, I don't know.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I have a different, I have a.

[A]

Different take on, you know, the NFL, right. Hasan Christmas that's been Christmas.

[C]

National Football League.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Christmas. We have dinner Christmas. Yeah. Well, actually. Actually, do you got a holiday you're gonna sell us on? What do you got? What do you got that's better than Christmas?

[C]

Oh, what's better than Christmas?

[A]

Yeah, you're being such a, you know, looking down your nose at Christmas. I would.

[C]

No, actually, you know what I was asking? I was asking, like, why couldn't I go to Chris's house?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I think it's very much that you could.

[A]

I guess there's maybe a more religious Christmas than the one we were having. Posh. Like, it was a pretty secular Christmas.

[B]

Yeah. I think Christmas is very much like you invite people over and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You get together with friends and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not super insular. We used to have extended family come over, but if friends wanted to come by. Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't know. I don't know what. What Chris's deal is. And he's like, I really want to hang out with my grandparents today.

[A]

Yeah, this might. Chris. Chris might have just maybe not that been at India. Yeah. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Support comes from the Freedom From Religion Foundation. Hey, Posh, you know where I think religion should be taught?

[B]

Where's that?

[A]

Churches or other places of worship. And I think a lot can be gleaned and gained from learning about the many disparate religions we have at our fingertips. But I feel like the classroom is not the right place for that. And this is why the Freedom From Religion foundation exists. FFRF fights back when lawmakers push religion into public education and FFRF wins.

[B]

So join FFRF at FFRF US School. Or text the word family to 5 11, 511.

[A]

Because school should be hard enough without a pop quiz on Leviticus. And may I ad Posh, My kids are not crushing it on things like numbers or letters.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Yeah. So, you know, ultimately I would love that to be sort of moved to the front of the queue.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe a bit more of a focus.

[A]

Yeah. On that. Yeah.

[B]

Remember to text the word family to 511511 today. Text fees may apply.

[A]

Support comes from Fitbod. You know, I've had a really nice fitness journey this summer, Posh.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Because, you know, look, I don't have time to go to the gym and, you know, to meet with some, you know, fancy celebrity trainer. Obviously, I still need to have one of those bodies where people say, oh, I'd love to meet your celebrity trainer. You know, obviously that's incumbent upon me. Right. But thanks to fitbod, I basically am getting the most out of a workout online by myself without one of those high end, costly celebrity trainers.

[B]

Yeah, fitbod, it's a great app. You let it know the equipment that you have and they will custom tailor workouts for you and for your fitness goals. If you just want to do a body weight, your own body weight workout, you can do that. Or if you got a full gym, you can tell them what you got and they will dial something up specifically for you. And then also it'll track sort of if you've worked out your shoulders, it'll know what you've done because you log that workout and then maybe your shoulders are going to get a couple days off and then they're going to start hitting your quads, they're going to start hitting your biceps, your chest.

[A]

I told fitbot I wanted to do a bodyweight workout, but with your body. And so the next time I see him, I gotta lift you 15 times, but three sets forward to that. Three sets. So like three sets of five. But it's amazing. I mean, they know what they're doing. It's time to level up your workouts with customized fitness plans that work for you. Plus they come with over 1000 demonstration videos, which I think is very helpful. Pashi, because I'm a visual learner, especially when it comes to muscles and parts of the body that I always forget where they all are. So you know what I mean. If I'm working out a delt, I know I'm supposed to know where that is. But what I like to see is an instruction video that confirms where it is.

[B]

It's good to know good stuff to know.

[A]

Get in shape this summer with Fitbod. Join Fitbod today to get your personalized workout plan. Get 25% off your subscription or try the app free for seven days at Fitbod. Me trip that's f I T B O D Metripp.

[C]

You say you'll never join the Navy, that you'd never track storms brewing in.

[B]

The Atlantic.

[C]

And skydiving could never be.

[B]

Part of your commute. You'd never climb Mount Fuji on a.

[C]

Port visit or fly so fast you.

[A]

Break the sound barrier.

[C]

Joining the Navy sounds crazy. Saying never actually is. Start your journey at navy.com, america's Navy.

[B]

Forged by the sea.

[A]

Starting a business can seem like a daunting task unless you have a partner like Shopify. They have the tools you need to start and grow your business. From designing a website to marketing, to selling and beyond. Shopify can help with everything you need. There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz, and Allbirds continue to trust and use them. With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into. Sign up for your $1 per month [e-mail] special offer. Here we go. Hey, I do want to. You mentioned Lake Tahoe and having your cousins visit and be in the snow, so that must have been a different time of year. Probably not a summer trip, but I have to ask.

[C]

You can go to Lake Tahoe in the summer as well because it's like, it's just. It's just really beautiful.

[A]

But sledding, where. Where obviously non skiers. Was it a huge deal to come and sled?

[C]

I loved it. I really loved sledding. And I say this and I, I would say it seriously, in college of, like, they'd go like, so you. You grew up in Davis, so you'd go, oh, that's so cool. You're so close to Tahoe. Did you ski? I was like, no, of course we didn't ski. We didn't have, like, the money to ski, but we go sledding and they. People would laugh at me. They'd be like, are you nine years old? I was like, well, it is pretty fun.

[B]

Yeah. And you were 9 years old when you were 9 years old?

[C]

I mean, I'm not gonna lie. Like, I did it up through, like my junior year. Like, you take the top of a trash can and let it rip. It is quite fun.

[A]

I was. My boys were boogie boarding this weekend on the waves, and then a. A grandparent of. Of one of my son's friends, he went in with a boogie board and he. He was. I. I was like, you still do it? He goes, yeah, the reason I do it is you're. Whenever you're on a boogie board, you're nine years old. He was like, it. There's no way to be on a wave and not feel nine. So, yeah. He goes, p. It's not that I'm too old to boogie board. It's that when I boogie board, I'm exactly as old as everybody else on a boogie board. I was like, oh, that's a nice way of thinking about it. So I do think if someone's like, are you nine? You're like, yes, I am. When I'm on my sled.

[C]

Hilarious. Same, by the way. I feel the same. I feel the same way when I'm playing basketball. Like, it's my body that's Betraying me. But when I hoop, I'm still. It's still that feeling of, like, playing during the summer.

[A]

Where was the closest hoop to your house? Growing up?

[C]

We had a. We lived on a cul de sac.

[A]

We did, too. Yeah.

[C]

Cul de sacs are the best. Did you guys have cul de sac kids that you played with?

[B]

Yeah, we had. I mean, this meeting up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. The street, you know, dead ended at that cul de sac, and it was a little hill, so there were a lot of kids that lived on the street that you would just. Yeah. You would hang out with, because we were all there.

[C]

Yeah, it was awesome. We had cul de sac kids, and it was. It was great. Like, older kids that had all the cool stuff. So I remember Connor had an older brother. He had the Nerf gun. He had the Nerf bow and arrow. They. They had Sega Genesis. So it was really cool that they. I got to see kind of what the upper division classes of cool were of, like, oh, this is what's to look forward to. And so I was able to absorb a lot of that cool stuff. But, yeah, we had. We had a hoop in the. In the middle of the cul de, like, kind of in the U of the cul de sac. And the kids would. There, and we would play that and two hand touch. So that's actually how I got into basketball. It was just like a social activity, like, hang with the older kids.

[A]

Were they mostly older? When you were playing basketball, did you tend to historically be the youngest person?

[C]

There was four of us that were my age, fourth graders. And then there was like, like four or five, kind of like seventh, eighth, ninth. But like, there was, like, a couple 10th graders. And to me, like a 10th grader, if you're in the fourth grade, I'm like, so you're 47 years old, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You can vote. You can be president. You're like.

[B]

You probably shave.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You have a car. You can shave. Like, so you're. You're. You're like. You're a version of my dad with better metabolism, essentially.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We. Our parents are very kind, and after begging, they did build us a hoop.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I wouldn't say it got the use.

[C]

Out of it or the movable one.

[B]

In ground.

[A]

In ground and in ground. Hoop. But our cul de sac a little bit on us. On an angle.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Like, not. It was. Yeah. Like, we were just at the top of a hill. And so, like, if. If a shot was missed, like, you should only rebound to the Left of the ramp. You know what I mean? But do you think we gave it enough use for how much we begged for it? Posh.

[B]

I think so. I think if you were to take the amount of the dollars it cost to put that thing in and divided it, I bet we used it enough. Yeah. But there was. There was a stretch in the middle of our street that was like this one flat stretch, and that was sort of like. That was the football field. That was where sort of the bikes would just be going around in circles for hours every day after school.

[C]

Hey, quick question. Do y'. All. Do you guys have sisters? Do you have.

[A]

Was there just us? Okay. It would be so great if we had them, but we wouldn't let them on this because podcasts are only. Podcasts are only for boys.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, okay, this is gonna be. This isn't. This is just a kind of a tangent slash bizarre take. But I have this firm belief that the sense of humor that siblings have, like, if a girl has a brother or a brother or a boy has a sister, the sense of humor they have is very different than a girl who just has sisters.

[A]

Oh. I mean, I have a daughter with two older brothers, and she definitely has.

[B]

A difference as humor.

[A]

I mean, she's learning it from them more than she's learning it from anybody else.

[C]

So, yeah, like, I would. Sometimes it's. Do you think it's for the best? I think I actually.

[A]

It's like.

[C]

I think it's like you can speak two languages. 100 French and Spanish. You don't have. Yes. Yes. So I. My sister has been in rooms before where she knows what a stone cold stunner is like to a group of girls. And they're like, what are you talking about? She's like, it's stone cold Steve Austin's finisher. Like, drink a beer. He would flip you off and then slam you. And they're like, what is that? And they're like, oh, she would watch. Like, she would watch Monday Night Raw. We would watch it together. And so we have this sensibility that I think my friends that just grew up with sisters don't.

[A]

Yeah. I will say, like, having two older brothers has given my daughter Addie, like, a weird. Like, sometimes she gets a cause. Sorry, Causal relationship wrong. Like, she is still in a crib. And the other day she's like, oh, I can't wait till I grow a penis so I can get my own bed. We're like, oh, no, that's not why they have a bed.

[B]

You're just too Young.

[A]

I know that. I know the people with penises have beds here, but that has nothing to do with why you don't have a bed.

[C]

Is also something. So it's so bizarre to say this, but like you do still physically fight, which is a weird thing. Like I, you know, my sister and I, I'm. I'm 39, she's 35. We are very close. I love her dearly, but I do remember like in the sixth grade, like I would, we would, like we would scrap. Which is a very bizarre thing, you know.

[A]

But yeah, it's funny because. Yeah, like, because she's a little, she would be a little scrapper then.

[C]

The little scrapper. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But there would be like physical boxing out and like. Yeah, like you're too small.

[A]

You know, it's fun when a girl realizes the. I mean again, it would take, it'll take years of her starting it before we believe she started it. You know what I mean? Like, if she decides to just be a little shitster, she'll get away with it forever because she is of the age. Every time one of the boys is like, addie, hit me. If I dig into it, it's like, yes, I did hit her first. You know what I mean? How are yours? You have one of each, right?

[C]

I have seven and five. Yeah. So I have an older daughter and then a younger son.

[A]

Gotcha. And is patience, is she patient with him?

[C]

Zero patience.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Zero tolerance.

[A]

It is. I'm knowing, as you know from having a five year old, you require a great deal of patience to be around a five year old boy. So if she just doesn't have any hu. Yeah.

[C]

And then also it's not a fair fight because she is, she's just pulling 4D chess with him, you know, like she knows how to play the mind games to get into. And there's moments where like she'll say stuff that's so loaded where I'm like, it would be better if you just hit him, you know, because we have the nest. I'll hear what's happening. Like I don't need to that, that Remember how like our dads would come and be like, what's going on in here?

[B]

It's like, I know what's going on.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

We can, we can do the play by play. Like I'll.

[A]

The nest cam. I mean, I think that if you're not a modern parent, if you either had kids a long time ago or you. You don't have them. Like it is a full security camera.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Like a High res. And again we got it because we wanted to be able to see if our kids were sleeping or they were safe. But now it's just snitch city. Like I'm just, It's the full police state as used by parents 100%. But it is so funny when my boys come in and they'll argue, they'll tell me what happened and then we're like, you know, we got a camera and then like the truth comes out. It's the best. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And like unlike the NBA, it's like we don't get two replays a game.

[A]

Right? Yeah, we can just, we can go to whatever we want.

[C]

Yeah. Whenever we want.

[A]

But it'd be so funny if they negotiated NBA rules with us. Like if they came to us as like a kids union. Yeah, it was like you get to check it three times a month.

[B]

Well, it's definitely coming. Like they will become teenagers and they're going to turn the camera around.

[A]

We're going to have to turn it off before that. We have to like find a time to be like, it will be better if we say it like we trust you now as opposed to them begging.

[C]

So, so, so guys, I mean this is the moment that I'm most terrified about. And like bits aside, what happens when they discover mommy and daddy's imessage? Like there is nothing more terrifying to me than that. I, you know, I've been married 10 years, right. In one day, like I can just imagine my daughter being 16 and being like, let's go through this. Let's really see what's going on. Because we all got to see mom and dad get into disagreements but there was always the like separation of church and like they did it somewhere else. Or like we had this thing in our head where we're putting the pieces of the puzzle together but there is this very, very terrifying digital paper trail of everything that happens.

[B]

You think that your kids will one day gain access to your text thread between you and your wife?

[C]

I've had a couple of. This is going to be dark, but let me. I'll. I'll answer that. I've had a couple of friends whose parents have passed away and they have told me they were like, get your dad's email address now. Get his Yahoo email address now. Like, find out where he keeps, where he has stuff for mom. Like go into his computer room where he has his compact Presario. Go through the filing cabinet, go past the Windows 95 CD ROMs and Encarta encyclopedias. Find out like where all the stuff is. God forbid he passes. You have all that. You know what the bank account numbers are. You can give that to mom and everything's taken. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

The fact that I'm going through that, I was like, oh, the tables will turn on me as well.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

There's no way it's not gonna happen where, like, I'll be asleep one day, they'll pull face recognition out and just my kids will page6.com me. It's going to happen. And I was like, just, let's prep. It's a Black Mirror episode in my mind.

[A]

Which is.

[B]

Yeah, but don't you think there's a chance that they access, you know, this text thread and they just find it all so boring that they don't. They're not willing to scroll back the years to see how you're talking smack about your son and daughter?

[C]

Sure, yeah. Yeah. It'll just all be like random pickup.

[A]

Text messages and like, I. I've got to be honest. I mean, I delete text threads all the time. Good for you. Yeah. I mean, by the way, you know, I, I'm. I basically assume that there's a nest cam on me at all times as well. I. I live in no comfort.

[C]

And so you've been living like a whistleblower.

[A]

I've been living like a whistleblower.

[C]

100%.

[A]

Hey, I do want to ask because in the fall, be doing stand up dates with Ronnie.

[C]

Yes, unfortunately.

[A]

Have you guys done it before? This is Ronnie Chang, obviously. Also Pod. We love Ronnie. Have you guys done on tour before?

[C]

We've never toured together before. We have done sets where we bum rush the stage. While one is on stage at the Comedy Cellar, the other will come up and bum rush them.

[A]

Great.

[C]

And so we thought, like, this is a. This is a fight to the death and it generally descends into chaos.

[A]

Is the plan that you'll be on stage together the whole time?

[C]

We will be on stage together. And so much like Marine World, Africa, usa. That is in the premise of the show. Hasan hates Rani. Ronnie hates Hasan. A debate to the death.

[A]

Oh, wonderful.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, we've had many alternative titles.

[A]

You know, I like the title a lot. It's a very good title. Yeah.

[C]

Hudson fights Ronnie on stage, literally for money. We were gonna. We had many alt titles, but yeah, it's gonna be like almost like a CNN Town hall meets Eric Andre show on Acid.

[A]

That's really exciting to hear. I am a. I am a fan of both of your comedic voices and I Think it'll be very cool that you are doing that together.

[C]

I'm excited. It's going to be really, really fun.

[A]

It's always such a delight to talk to you, Hassan. But before we let you go, Josh is going to speed round you real quick.

[C]

Let's do it.

[B]

All right. Some quick questions here. You can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational?

[C]

100% relaxing.

[B]

Great. What is your favorite means of transportation?

[C]

Acela.

[B]

If you could take a vacation. That's. I love the train. I love.

[A]

Which could be a lot better, but I still love it.

[C]

I just. I just did the Acela to dc. It was spectacular. Sebastian?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you could take a vacation with any family, alive or dead, real or fictional, other than your own family, what family would you like to take a vacation with?

[C]

Oh, who's. Like, I could pick any family.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Any family.

[C]

Yeah. Chris's family. Christmas Day.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. And don't run from it. You're mad about it.

[C]

Chris is one of the boys, so he. He, like, he watches all my stuff. Like, he's one of, like, my friends since I'm not kidding, like, second grade. So when he watches this, he'll. He'll know what it. What it is.

[A]

All right, good. Yeah.

[B]

Also, if, you know, if you happen to not be traveling over Christmas break one year, I think. I think just show up with your whole family and see how it goes.

[C]

I wanted to do. You know, it's funny, I wanted to do when I had a show on Netflix called Patriot Act. I wanted to do a field piece called, like, Hassan Experiences Christmas, where I'm not joking. Like, I'd go to the Myers household and be like, what is this? And I'm on the 23rd through the 26th to find out what was this unknown chasm? Like, no one could play outside what was happening.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know.

[B]

It sounds like it was a weird scene up in Davis, which we're gonna.

[A]

Get to now, but.

[B]

Cause we were outside. It was a lot of, like, snowball fights building for.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be?

[C]

Stranded on desert island? 100% my sister. I mean, my parents are now. Dad is born 1950. So dad is 75, mom is 64.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And my mom's iPad and my dad's phone have made it worse. Like it's aged them an additional 10 years.

[B]

Yeah, gotcha.

[C]

So for sure. My sister. Yes. My youngest.

[B]

Great. You're from Davis, California? Correct.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. Would you recommend Davis as a vacation destination?

[C]

This is going to be on the Internet and I'm going to get roasted for this.

[B]

But people, People very often don't recommend.

[A]

A lot of people said, I love my hometown, but I, you know, I wouldn't take a vacation there.

[C]

Look, I. I have said this unapologetically. I've said this on espn. I do rep the area pretty hard. I think Davis in Sacramento is great. We get made fun of in relation to the Bay Area or Los angeles. Sure. But 85% of Americans live in the equivalent of Sacramento. They like, you're not better than me. We have a Jamba Juice in the mall too, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You have a weird Barnes and Noble that is, like, somewhat vacant and kind of trashy. You also have a Marshalls with a Ross across the street as well. Like, don't act like you're better than me because you live in Plano, Texas. So it is super fun. It is a very fun city. But what's. What's cool about it is you also have a college town which has, like, all like the. The. The kitchen, the cork that like, Madison, Wisconsin has. And then you also have, like, you got one major city. You got, what, you got a sports team. You got the Kings and you got downtown, and you have, like, Congressional. Get gridlock and.

[A]

And the Kings, like, they, like, make the playoffs once every 30 years, which is pretty cool, right?

[C]

They do, and they let you down and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then they light the beam and.

[A]

Then they like the beam. They're saving a lot of energy on that beam.

[B]

And Seth. Seth has our final questions.

[A]

Have you been to the Grand Canyon?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Was it worth it?

[C]

No.

[A]

Thank you for your time and your honesty.

[C]

Wait, this. Can I ask you guys a question? This won't make the pod.

[A]

You can or it will and it may. It may or may not.

[C]

Is nature wasted on the youth?

[A]

Huh? Yeah, I think to some degree. I mean, my kids. I think it's interesting. Like, my kids love being in nature, but I don't think they appreciate nature. I don't know if it matters if they appreciate it. I don't know. I'm gonna say. I want. Let me just say I have New York kids. I think nature is not wasted on the youth. I think it's really important when they're there. And I think they appreciated.

[C]

But yeah. So Ash will be like, wow, this is a sequoia. This is a beautiful, amazing thing. Can you believe that, like, you know.

[A]

Ash goes to, like, a Saturday camp outside and he will bore my ass off talking about trees. And he loves tree information.

[C]

Wait, what?

[A]

Yeah, he loves. He'll be like, these are mustard greens, dad, you can eat them. And I'm like.

[C]

So he's like, this is the genus, this is the phylum.

[A]

This is like not fully that, but he's like on, he's on a phylum path.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he's only nine.

[A]

Yeah, he's only here. Yeah.

[C]

But Ash, Ash should meet my dad because my, you know, my dad's an organic chemist.

[A]

Oh, there you go.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Like, oh.

[A]

The greatest thing that happened is that my father in law started talking to my kids about nature instead of me. I was like dying. I mean, I basically had kids. So we could start pointing out like what kind of slug that is to them.

[C]

I think Ash is the exception. He's the asterisk.

[A]

Yeah, he's.

[B]

I think so. Yeah. I don't think, I don't think kids are taking note of nature necessarily, but I think the more time they spend in it, the better they'll feel. And it's sort of, it's laying those that foundation for a lifelong respect for it and sort of a need to get back to it from time to time, particularly for city kids. Gotcha.

[A]

Okay, Hassan, it's great to talk to you. I'm very excited. People should check out show days. Where do you guys start in October?

[C]

October 3rd. And hasanhatesroni.com or ronniehateshustin.com we bought both URLs.

[A]

It would have been heartbreaking if you just found somebody by the URL. I hate Hassan and Ronnie.

[C]

Yeah, we haven't checked. Someone probably did.

[A]

All right, great to talk to you, buddy. Love to your family.

[C]

Thanks, man. Love.

[B]

Thank you. Take care.

[A]

Bye, guys.

[C]

You guys, Peace.

[B]

Back in the day, Hassan would go to a special place. A must do when his family would come to town, located out in Vallejo was so fantastic. Fantastic. It's a wonder that this place is no longer around. Shows with Chinese acrobats, also a ball pit, a dolphin show and something with motorbikes. Tug of war with an elephant. Also they had dinosaurs. Madu.

[C]

I don't care what song woke review. It was good enough for his son.

[B]

Good enough for his cousin. First they went to Marine World Africa, but it wasn't in Africa, it was right here. In the good.

[A]

Old year.

[B]

He travels back to India, recommends it as a fascinating place as everyone should go. Such a long trip to South Asia. Wouldn't it be great if there were other continents closer to home. There was a time when that was true. Up in Northern California. They had a killer whaling, water skis, a baby, a tiger and some ch fancies. Your dreams came true in Marine World Africa.

[A]

As long as your dreams were weird.

[C]

And they didn't really.

[B]

Make much sense.