Podcast Summary: Fashion Neurosis with Bella Freud
Episode: Fecal Matter (March 11, 2026)

Overview

In this deeply engaging episode, fashion designer and host Bella Freud welcomes Hannah Rose and Stephen Raad, the creative duo behind the boundary-pushing brand Fecal Matter (Matier Fikal). The episode delves into the relationship between fashion, identity, rebellion, and self-acceptance, tracing Hannah and Stephen’s personal journeys from restrictive backgrounds to radical self-expression. Through candid stories and lively debate, the pair discuss love, societal pressure, body image, creative process, and the ethics of fashion—articulating how clothes become much more than just coverings, but integral expressions of self and resistance.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening & Outfits: Rituals of Dressing

• Why Outfits Matter:
  • Bella begins by asking what her guests are wearing and why, revealing the intimacy and intention behind everyday style.
  • Stephen: Dress shirt, tie, dress pants, combat boots, belt around arm – “sort of deconstructing masculinity.”

    “It’s just my everyday look. I feel like lately I've been sort of trying to deconstruct masculinity. So I don't know, it feels right.” (01:12)

  • Hannah: Pink silk suit (Spring/Summer collection), Louboutin shoes, pink bird headpiece – a celebration of ritual and “embodiment” through clothing.

    “Dressing every morning is such a ritualistic part of my life, and every day is a new day to be something… Today I felt like the pink embodies what I feel.” (01:37)

• Bella observes the duo’s styles as both "powerful and gentle" (02:36).

2. Origins of Self-Expression

• Early Encounters:
  • Stephen: Drawing as safe space for early self-expression, envisioning a future self through art.

    “I was actually drawing Hannah when I was, like, 11 years old. Like, I drew this bald woman that was androgynous but also sensual.” (03:38)

  • Hannah: Ethical awakening at age 14 led to rejecting fast fashion and creating her own clothes out of “anger… at what I was purchasing and consuming.” (04:41)
• Repression & Fear:
  • Both recount religious upbringings and strict schools; Hannah in a uniformed, all-girls’ private school, Stephen raised amid religious flux (Mormonism, Sri Lankan & Guyanese heritage).

    “I think we were both very repressed… my mom was getting remarried a lot… it was always driven by like, fear to how I presented myself.” (05:46)

3. Family, Shame, and Liberation

• Navigating Family Expectations:
  • Stephen recalls fear of losing his mother’s love if he “lived his truth,” eventually choosing authenticity over familial approval.

    “It was partially because I was so scared that if I did live my truth, they would reject me… But throughout, I guess, my journey, they started accepting me more.” (09:28)

• Conditioning vs. Individual Shame:
  • Hannah felt the shame was ingrained in environment, not directed by individuals:

    “I think I was just in an environment where identity was… you could not have an identity and there was no room to explore… If you explored identity, you were punished.” (06:57)

4. Beauty, Addiction, and Identity

• Self-Annihilation & Fashion as Survival:
  • Comparison of fashion addiction to self-harming/anorexia.
  • Stephen: The body as a mutable canvas – shaving eyebrows, going bald, creating the self outwardly “to recognize the inside outside.”

    “It’s like building yourself… in digital worlds you customize your character. I think for me, that’s where the obsession is.” (16:46)

  • Hannah:

    “If you felt what we feel when we have this type of freedom, you would never, you know, it's… There's nothing that can compare.” (18:47)

5. Love, Jealousy, & Queerness

• Romantic Evolution:
  • Stephen describes his journey from being “gay in a religious family” to falling for Hannah, prompting another "coming out."

    “I worked hard to be gay and then Hannah came in and destroyed it and made it all so complicating again.” (21:23)

  • Their first kiss was a nervous, cinematic park moment at 4am, full of humor and uncertainty.

    “I said, are you going to kill me? …He said, no, I just want to kiss you. And I said, okay, but I’m not going to kiss you back.” (27:39)

• Queer Inspiration & Boundlessness:
  • “The more you're open with yourself, the more you can be open to loving anyone… It's all a state of mind. For me, it was clear that I was in love and attracted to Hannah, and I had to go for it.” – Stephen (23:40)

6. The Power (and Limits) of Fashion

• Attraction & Bad Fashion:
  • Both are more drawn to fearlessness and authenticity than “good taste.”

    “I like when people are fearless in the way they present themselves, whether it's good or bad… Like, you know, homeless people on the street… sometimes it's so beautiful…” – Stephen (31:38)

• Nakedness & Makeup:
  • Hannah: “It's very important because you can easily get very lost into the makeup and almost use it as a crutch, and I would never want it to be a mask… I have to feel like Hannah in both.” (33:43)
  • Stephen: “It's like on a spectrum… airport glam… at home and when I'm naked, it's definitely comfortable in my skin without the makeup.” (37:36)

7. Ethics, Artistry, and the Business of Fashion

• Sustainable Aspirations:
  • Their work is a protest against fast fashion—initially using upcycled materials (even found in garbage); now partnered with Dover Street Market for “ethical ways of creating.”

    “The meaning behind [‘Fecal Matter’] was always to challenge the wasteful side of fashion, to always also challenge the luxury market…” – Stephen (41:22)

  • Production numbers remain low: “Not hundreds… maybe like under 50 units of this suit… we’re not catering to the mass so we're not contributing to waste on a mass level either.” – Hannah (44:19)

8. Celebrity, Impact & Community

• Dream Clients:
  • Stephen: “I love Oprah… she was always trying to deconstruct the stigma around certain taboo subjects.” (46:10)
  • Hannah: “Our whole relationship with Gaga has been so magical… she stands up for our people.” (48:40)
• Process:
  • Detailed look at creating custom stagewear for Gaga, under tight deadlines and with all-hands teamwork. (49:50–50:40)

9. Home & Lifestyle: Contrasts and Domesticity

• Un-glamorous Living:
  • Their Paris apartment above a pizza shop is “nothing glamorous” and “completely opposite” to their aesthetic.
  • Stephen: “Having something super normal, devoid of our personality, enables us to maybe go bolder in what we look like… our home is that obstacle.” (55:16)
  • Cat “Cunty” as the true visual extension of their look; clothes everywhere as their ‘art objects’ at home. (57:13)

10. Inspiration, Museums, and “The Other”

• On Museums & Parisian Walks:
  • Prefer inspiration from “architecture, nature, and blank spaces,” not museums (63:16–64:13).
  • People-watching as creative fuel: “We sort of provoke society… we feel like we're promoting critical thinking through our look.” – Stephen on being othered like Leigh Bowery (65:14)
• On ‘The Other’:
  • “That video [of Leigh Bowery at Harrods]… is major inspiration. Lee is like God.” (65:03–66:25)
  • Shaving eyebrows as a “blank canvas,” a radical gesture that removes human boundaries:

    “There’s something about eyebrows… when you take that away, you lose that frame… you just get the canvas.” (67:39)

11. Body, Discipline, and Enjoyment

• Wellness:
  • Hannah: “My routine is lots of cakes. I love sugar. I'm addicted to anything with, like, cream or custard in it… I don't take care of myself internally… apart from the walking.” (70:26)
  • Stephen: “I love working out and I love running. It's also just… a form of discipline that I need… a way to release also the tension.” (70:45)

Memorable Quotes

• Bella Freud:

  “It’s really inspiring. And you met at fashion school in Montreal… do you have that sort of normal sexual jealousies about each other?” (20:25)

• Stephen Raad:

  “I worked hard to be gay and then Hannah came in and destroyed it and made it all so complicating again.” (21:23)
  “We sort of provoke society… we feel like we're promoting critical thinking through our look.” (65:14)

• Hannah Rose:

  “If you felt what we feel when we have this type of freedom, you would never… There's nothing that can compare.” (18:47)
  “But Stephen is all up in it [wellness].” (70:26)

• On Makeup & Nakedness:

  “I would never want [makeup] to be a mask. And I think for it not to be a mask you really have to know both sides.” – Hannah (33:43)

• On Artistic Lineage/Otherness:

  “That video of [Leigh Bowery]… in luxury space… is ultimate freedom, ultimate defiance and a huge inspiration for us… Lee is like God.” – Stephen (65:47)

Important Timestamps

• 01:05–02:36 – Describing today’s clothing and the meaning behind choices
• 03:38–05:46 – Childhoods: origins of self-expression, fear, repression
• 09:28–12:39 – The fraught balance between love for family and self-acceptance
• 14:40–16:21 – No role models in family; magnetic pull to adornment
• 16:46–19:32 – Fashion as addiction, comparative to anorexia/self-harm, euphoric liberation
• 21:23–28:26 – Love story: queer journey, attraction, first kiss at 4am, risks of intimacy
• 31:16–33:09 – Attraction: more about mind and authenticity, less about trend or ‘taste’
• 33:43–37:36 – Makeup, nakedness, and the importance of knowing all sides of self
• 40:20–44:09 – Brand ethics: upcycling origins, Dover Street Market support
• 46:10–50:40 – Dream clients: Oprah, Lady Gaga, story of custom Gaga look
• 54:35–58:39 – Home, domestic opposition to aesthetic, ‘art objects’ as clothing
• 63:16–66:25 – Inspiration: Paris walks, people watching, Leigh Bowery and “the Other”
• 70:11–72:29 – Wellness routines, body discipline, therapy

Final Reflections

Bella praises Fecal Matter’s ability to make “extreme beauty inviting,” noting the bravery in their approach to style and the liberating effect on those around them. The episode closes on themes of encouragement, the spiritual ramifications of style, and recognition of the courage needed to pursue radical self-expression in a restrictive world.

Listen to the full episode for the complete, rich conversation on fashion, identity, rebellion, business, and the ongoing quest for belonging.

Notable Socials:

• www.fashionneurosis.com
• @fashioneurosis_bellafreud