Fated Mates S07E49: Season Seven Ends Not With a Bang, but With a Kombucha Girl

Date: August 27, 2025
Hosts: Sarah MacLean & Jen Prokop

Episode Overview

In this special end-of-season episode, Sarah and Jen embrace the “Fated Mates vibes”—an off-the-cuff, community-centered conversation reflecting on the quirky, often divisive micro-tropes and trends in romance novels. Inspired by the viral "Kombucha Girl" meme—expressing the rollercoaster of “Ew, huh, maybe, actually I like it”—the hosts hilariously dissect the elements of romance fiction that give them the "kombucha face": subjects that oscillate between initial skeeved-out rejection and unexpected enjoyment, often depending on authorial execution. The discussion covers everything from trope fatigue and bodily realism to spitting, chores, commuting, and the ultimate romance “fantasy.” Their aim: laughter, camaraderie, and real talk for avid romance readers and newbies alike.

Key Themes & Discussion Points

1. "The Kombucha Girl" Vibes (00:11 – 05:13)

• Premise: The episode is structured around the Kombucha Girl meme—reactions to romance novel tropes or elements that are simultaneously “gross/maybe good/maybe gross/maybe good” depending on context and execution.
• Romance Positivity: The hosts reiterate their approach: celebrating the genre instead of shaming tropes or readers.
• Quote:
  "I think it's really important to have, like, community meetings where we just celebrate... the things that make romance great. This, I think, will be a really fun episode." — A [00:13]

2. Personalized Reading Quirks (05:13 – 10:11)

• Sarah vs. Jen's Reading Styles:
  • Sarah self-identifies as the “golden retriever” reader: enthusiastic about almost anything, voracious and open-minded (“I just like everything. Everything's delicious” [05:20]).
  • Jen is the discerning “Abyssinian cat”: selective, only the “finest... no Fancy Feast.”
• Romance’s Maligned Elements: Sometimes, elements that are “not for Sarah” or “not for Jen” become beloved in the right author’s hands.

3. The Hozier Concert & Evolving Romance Heroes (06:07 – 08:56)

• A Tangent with Purpose: Sarah and Jen gush about attending a Hozier concert, drawing a parallel between Hozier’s “evolved” appeal and the evolving archetype of the romance hero, particularly in contemporary texts.
• Quote:
  "Everyone, he is a romance hero. Evolved. Parentheses evolved. Like, because, at the end of the book. Because he's six, six... delicious... hands the size of dinner plates" — B [06:23]
• Books as Boiling Water: The metaphor that sometimes readers “boil like frogs” in unexpected tropes—they find themselves enjoying things they usually wouldn’t ("Sarah stays in here boiling away." [09:17]).

4. Tropes on the Kombucha Continuum (10:11 – ~15:11)

• “In the right hands it works”: Discussing how certain tropes (“not for Jen” or “not for Sarah”) can work when handled by a skilled author.
• Fifty Shades as Cultural Case Study:
  • Sarah reads industry mega-hits even if she’s “kombucha face” about them, to analyze why some tropes catch fire.
  • Notable cultural impact of tropes leaping from fiction to readers’ real lives.

Quote:
“The kombucha gif really does... I feel like skilled romance readers are able to compartmentalize what in the text is great and fun and what in their real life they would like to try. But I do feel like that line... feels like it's getting a little blurry in the world.” — B [11:54]

Micro-Tropes & Reading Habits

1. Interior Descriptions—“My Eyes Just Glide Over” (17:14 – 21:29)

• Jen’s Skipping Habit: Jen tends to gloss over elaborate room or setting descriptions unless they’re tightly linked to character development (e.g., Susan Elizabeth Phillips does interiors that matter).
• Sarah’s Writer Perspective: She invests in set pieces and interiors, but agrees that if it’s just “lifestyle porn,” it’s a skip.

2. Daytime Disjunctions (21:40 – 23:16)

• Jen’s Day/Night Confusion: Reads all romance as if it occurs at night, no matter what is described—“All romance novels take place at night in my head” (B [22:31]).
• Memorable Moment: “If it's daytime in your book, it's not daytime in my head.” — B [22:21]

3. The “Damp to Wet Continuum” & Spitting Trends (23:34 – 31:18)

• Rise of Moisture: Jen notes modern romance is "so much wetter" than older books; everything is “dripping with moisture.”
• Spit in Sex Scenes: Current trend of explicit spitting (particularly in and around sexual activities).
  • Above vs. Below the Waist: Sarah draws the line—spitting above the waist (especially into mouths) is a no (“hard pass”), but below can be “very hot.”
  • Generational Changes: Explicitness has escalated with time; what was taboo is now normalized (“the cap opening on lube is the new condom wrapper rip” [31:54]).
• Quotable:
  “Everybody is always fucking dripping. Everything is so wet in modern romance... And now why is everyone spitting all of a sudden?” — A [23:49, 25:01]
  “If they're spitting above the waist, I'm like, what the fuck is going on here?... If they're spitting below the waist, sure.” — B [26:16, 27:04]

4. Trend Cycles & Trope Fatigue (13:38 – 14:18)

• After a trend dominates, there’s burnout both for readers and authors—spreader bars, for instance, simply “seemed exhausting”—and then disappear.
• Fads apply to non-kinky tropes too (e.g., fake relationships).

“Realistic” Domesticity, Chores, and Fantasy (35:06 – 49:30)

1. Chores, Competency, and Gendered Labour (41:29 – 49:30)

• Cowboy Romances: Kate Clayborn (friend of the pod) argues the appeal is watching men do chores, showcasing competency.
• Not For Jen:
  • Women doing chores triggers kombucha face—it’s too close to real life, not escapist enough.
  • Jen: "Part of it is because this is like one of the very things I am, like, trying to escape". — A [42:20]
• Romance Fantasy: Sarah frames romance as a genre of idealized worlds—by necessity, things like commutes, chores, and bathrooms tend to stay off the page unless critical to the narrative fantasy.

2. Bodies, Bathrooms, and TMI (48:21 – 55:01)

• Zero Bathroom Policy:
  • Neither host likes real-life bathroom functions in romance (“None of my characters ever used the bathroom. My characters would never.” — B [48:41]).
  • Extended joke: “All heroes of romance are either poopers or not poopers.” — B [51:53]
    • Tom Hardy: pooper with the door open.
    • Benedict Cumberbatch: not a pooper.
• Periods in Romance:
  • Sarah & Jen appreciate characters acknowledging menstruation (“pro in romance that I want characters who menstruate to talk about it”) but not featuring period products in sex scenes—“Too real. I just want everyone to be able—just go take care of your business and then come back.” — A/B [56:12–56:56]

3. The True Fantasy: No Domestic Drudgery or Commuting (59:39 – 63:34)

• No characters endure traffic or public transit; most small-town romance exists to avoid discussing commuting.
• Quote:
  “I think small town romance exists because romance authors know that you can't talk about commuting. You can't put commuting in a book.” — A [59:46]
• Sex happens in cars (historicals = carriages), or car scenes are sexy, never mundane.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Let me put that in my mouth... eating out of the trash can.” (Sarah, embracing her lack of literary pickiness) — A [05:20–05:30]
• “We are not kink shaming. Different strokes for different strokes for different strokes.” — B [03:22]
• “All I could think about... was the article about the men who came home to their wives of 10, 15, 20 years to discover that they had purchased them this, like, silver tie as some sort of, like, talisman…” — B [11:34]
• "Listen, not everything has to be so wet. You can use lube. It's fine. It's fine." — A [30:00]
• "I really believe that in a romance novel the heroine would be fine without the hero, but the hero would not be fine without the heroine... in an MF romance." — B [38:48]
• “All heroes of romance are either poopers or not poopers... Derek Craven is a pooper. Tom Sein is not a pooper.” — B [51:53]
• “I never want to ever, ever, ever... read any time where people are at our farmers market. I will just skip that whole chapter. Sorry.” — A [66:31]
• “What’s your kombucha gif? Send it and maybe we’ll recommend some books.” — B [70:59]

Conclusion & Community Call

• Season 7 Wrap: Sarah and Jen celebrate seven seasons together. They encourage listeners to share their own “Kombucha GIF” romance elements (micro-tropes they’re iffy on) for future recommendations.
• Season Break: They announce a two-week hiatus and invite the audience to connect via Instagram, Threads, or Patreon for continued romance talk.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:11: Kombucha Girl episode premise explanation
• 05:20–05:57: Reading palates—golden retriever vs. Abyssinian cat analogy
• 13:38: Trend fatigue: the rise and fall of tropes
• 17:14: Skipping interior descriptions; importance only if tied to character
• 21:40: Jen’s “daytime” dissonance—romance novels feel nocturnal
• 23:34: “Damp to wet continuum” and the spitting trend
• 35:06: “Men who don’t deserve to suffer”—character arcs
• 41:29: Cowboy romances: men doing chores
• 48:41: Zero bathroom scenes policy & “pooper/non-pooper” binary
• 55:01: Menstruation & realism in romance
• 59:39: The fantasy of no commuting or traffic in romance books
• 66:31: Farmers market scenes—Jen’s ultimate skip
• 70:59: Community call: share your kombucha gif, get recommendations

For Further Exploration

• Listeners are encouraged to share their “kombucha face” tropes on social media for personalized book recs.
• Notable sponsorships this episode: Avery Flynn—Head Witch in Charge, Rose Prendeville—Grace on the Rocks, 1001 Dark Nights—Hearts and Hidden Secrets collection.

Final Sentiment

With laughter and candor, Sarah and Jen wrap their seventh season by poking loving fun at themselves, their genre, and the evolving (sometimes bizarre) landscape of romance novels. True to their brand, there’s room for every “kombucha face” in the romance reading community.