S07.16: Hear Me Out: New Year's Eve 2024

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Hear Me Out: New Year's Eve 2024" (S07.16)

Introduction and Special Guests

The episode kicks off on [00:00] New Year's Eve, 2024, with hosts Sarah MacLean and Jennifer Prokop welcoming their regular listeners. Sarah introduces the special guests, Adriana Herrera and Nikki Payne, marking Adriana's third appearance on a New Year's Eve episode. Sarah humorously recounts past "unhinged" episode themes they've explored, setting the stage for an evening of unconventional discussions.

Exploring the "Hear Me Out" Trend

At [02:31], Sarah reveals the episode's focus: a deep dive into the "Hear Me Out" trend circulating on social media. This trend involves creative and often quirky propositions, where participants present unconventional ideas or fantasies, typically accompanied by personalized elements like cakes adorned with images or symbols. Sarah explains, “[02:47] We're gonna do 'Hear Me Out,' a full episode dedicated to these wild and imaginative propositions.”

Creative "Hear Me Out" Proposals

Adriana's Propositions:

1. Incredibles Threesome ([08:44]-[11:11]):

   • Adriana suggests a playful and provocative scenario involving Mr. Incredible and Edna Mode from The Incredibles. The discussion is filled with humorous and risqué commentary, highlighting the hosts' knack for blending pop culture with adult themes.
   • Notable Quote: Sarah muses, “[09:35] So in this scenario, Mr. Incredible is getting pegged by Edna.”

2. Buttercup and Kung Fu Panda Dynamic ([17:57]-[21:32]):

   • Adriana explores romantic dynamics between characters like the Grinch, Oscar the Grouch, and Bruno from Encanto, emphasizing their unique personalities and attributes that lend themselves to imaginative romance scenarios.
   • Notable Quote: Adriana reflects, “[17:57] Spirit the Stallion is so majestic…”

Jennifer's Proposals:

1. Oscar the Grouch ([11:12]-[17:20]):

   • Jennifer introduces a bold proposition featuring Oscar the Grouch, interpreting his grumpy demeanor as intriguing and potentially romantic.
   • Notable Quote: Jennifer contemplates, “[12:04] And I think, like, right. I. I feel like I really hit upon something here.”

2. Marvel and Disney Villains ([27:10]-[37:36]):

   • Jennifer delves into an analysis of various Disney and Marvel villains, discussing their attractiveness and complex personalities. Characters like Pete Buttigieg, Venom, and the Joker are examined through a romantic lens.
   • Notable Quote: “[28:09] He just seems so joyless always.”

Nikki's Proposals:

1. 90s Black Dad Archetype ([34:27]-[38:32]):

   • Nikki presents the "90s Black Dad" archetype, drawing parallels with characters like Wendell Pierce’s role in The Wire. She explores the nuanced attractiveness and respectful qualities of this archetype.
   • Notable Quote: “[34:35] It's an archetype. Wendell Pierce, 90s black dad.”

2. Goofy, Skinny Hunks ([58:58]-[61:18]):

   • Nikki discusses her appreciation for "Goofy" archetypes, including characters like Napoleon Dynamite, highlighting their endearing and humorous traits.
   • Notable Quote: “[59:15] Have you ever seen Goofy get slightly praised by a woman that he finds beautiful?”

Adriana's Final Proposals:

1. 80s Villains and Romantic Settings ([55:09]-[74:19]):

   • Adriana brings up iconic 80s villains such as Jack Nicholson’s Joker from Batman and Danny Trejo’s Machete, contemplating their romantic potential despite their notorious personas.
   • Notable Quote: “[55:13] Closes down the map for you, then destroys it, which is a problem.”

2. Desert Romance Reimagined ([74:19]-[77:16]):

   • She envisions a modern, non-problematic desert romance featuring businesswomen in luxurious tents, aiming to revive classic romance novel settings with contemporary sensibilities.
   • Notable Quote: “[74:10] I feel like we have kind of lost the, like, energy and the.”

Narrative Interlude:

Mid-episode, the hosts transition into a narrative segment, presenting excerpts from fictional romance novels. These chapters depict intense and dramatic scenarios, blending elements of romance with high-stakes situations like snowed-in storms and mysterious rescues. This interlude showcases the podcast's dedication to blending lively discussions with creative storytelling.

Closing and Future Plans

As the episode wraps up, the hosts discuss their upcoming projects. Adriana and Nikki introduce their own podcast, Unbound, which focuses on analyzing romance novels from BIPOC female perspectives. They tease the next season's theme on "Whiteness in Romance," promising in-depth discussions and diverse viewpoints.

Conclusion

The "Hear Me Out: New Year's Eve 2024" episode of Fated Mates is a vibrant mix of pop culture analysis, creative romantic propositions, and engaging storytelling. With special guests Adriana Herrera and Nikki Payne, the hosts explore unconventional romance scenarios, blending humor with insightful commentary. Notable moments include their playful takes on beloved characters and the seamless integration of narrative excerpts that illustrate the podcast's unique approach to celebrating romance novels.

Notable Quotes:

• Sarah MacLean at [09:35]: “So in this scenario, Mr. Incredible is getting pegged by Edna.”
• Jennifer Prokop at [12:04]: “And I think, like, right. I. I feel like I really hit upon something here.”
• Nikki Payne at [34:35]: “It's an archetype. Wendell Pierce, 90s black dad.”
• Adriana Herrera at [55:13]: “Closes down the map for you, then destroys it, which is a problem.”

Note: Timestamps are approximate and correspond to significant moments within the transcript.

Transcript

[Sarah MacLean]

It's New Year's Eve, 2024.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Do you say, it's New Year's Eve 2024, or do you say 2025?

[Adriana Herrera]

It's New Year's Eve 2024. It's New Year's Day, 2025.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

That was our. One of our very special guests, everyone. It's so exciting. Welcome, everyone, to Faded Mates. I'm Sarah Maclean. I read romance novels and I write them.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'm Jennifer Prokop, a romance reader and editor.

[Sarah MacLean]

And every New Year's Eve since the beginning of Faded, an unhinged episode, it's like Faded Mates unhinged. So. And it takes, like, the whole year for us to come up with what the idea is.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes.

[Sarah MacLean]

And also, typically, sometimes what happens is we come up with the idea because we're like, it would be really fun to have that person on. On New Year's. Adrianna has been on a New Year's episode before.

[Adriana Herrera]

At least one. But no, I've been on three. This is my third one.

[Sarah MacLean]

This is your third year.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh.

[Sarah MacLean]

Cause you did Omegaversity with. And there's our second guest. First of all, wait, before we get into it. Adriana Herrera, would you introduce yourself to our listeners for the 23rd time?

[Adriana Herrera]

I'm Adriana Herrera. I write romance novels full of hot Latin people.

[Sarah MacLean]

And Nikki Payne. Last but not least.

[Nikki Payne]

Last but not least, I'm Nikki Payne. I am the resident belligerent wine mom, and I write romance novels based on the books you were forced to read in high school.

[Sarah MacLean]

Terrific. And we knew. Jen and I knew, like, oh, I don't know, a few months ago, we were like, okay, we're gonna have Nikki and Adriana on for New Year's. And then we were like, what are we gonna talk about?

[Nikki Payne]

Anything.

[Sarah MacLean]

Because we've done. We did, like, pegging one year. We did breeding with Joanna one year. We did Omegaversity. We did the full Jessica catalog one year. I mean, what was there left to do?

[Jennifer Prokop]

And then, as always in these situations, it was tick tock to the rescue.

[Sarah MacLean]

That's how romance feels these days. Tick tock to the rescue is something I say every day, potentially for only.

[Jennifer Prokop]

19 more days, everyone. So enjoy while you can. So we were like, we better. We better leverage this bit. Until now. So, Sarah, tell them what they won't.

[Sarah MacLean]

So we're gonna do. Hear me out. It's a full hear me out episode with two of our favorite wacky people. Because this. Now, this is a trend. Jen did not know, because Jen does not TikTok. I know.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I don't.

[Sarah MacLean]

It's true for Instagram. And so this is a trend that is going around on the Internet, on social media, where the.

[Jennifer Prokop]

The youths get a cake.

[Nikki Payne]

They youth get.

[Sarah MacLean]

The youths from get. They get a cake from the grocery store, they come home, and with their friends, they put little sticks with, like, pictures of people and things and cartoon characters and others. We'll get into Jen's praxis.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Why is a cake involved? Has anyone gone back to Senna?

[Sarah MacLean]

You eat the cake.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay. But I mean. Okay. I just didn't know if there was some. If it was like, hear me out. Cake over pie. And then it evolved. Like, I wasn't sure.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, I don't know. It's a good question.

[Adriana Herrera]

I don't see each little new person there or whatever new fangle. Outrageous thing they're suggesting is like a candle, but instead of a candle, it's like a stick with a face on.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes, Right.

[Sarah MacLean]

And so basically, it's pass or smash.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, well, it's smash. It's just smash. But, like, with a reason, you know?

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah, exactly. So we deliver this assignment to the team here, and I to the New Year's Eve team, and I think I believe in us.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. I found it was difficult because I feel that I do not have interesting or varied tastes in things. And I was like, oh, I've got an idea. And then I would think of something that is empirically hot and everyone would agree. And so then I was like, I think I'm going to be bad at this. I had to really work on it. I had to really work.

[Sarah MacLean]

It can't be like, Chris Hemsworth. Like, that's not a. Hear me out.

[Adriana Herrera]

It has to be Tom Selleck circa 1987.

[Nikki Payne]

Why?

[Adriana Herrera]

That's a great idea.

[Sarah MacLean]

I mean, Tom Selleck circa 1980 was pretty hot.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Only if you like mustaches, which.

[Sarah MacLean]

Wait, we're getting right into it. Mustaches.

[Adriana Herrera]

That's not your ministry.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That is not my. So, okay, fine, we're going to do this. We're gonna do this. In the group text, as we were planning, there was discussion of, like, everyone's gonna bring a hot cartoon character. And I was like, cartoon animal. And I was like, hot cartoon animals. That's not my praxis.

[Sarah MacLean]

And so that was.

[E]

And.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And Nikki was like, that's not my praxis. What the fuck?

[Nikki Payne]

Iconic.

[Sarah MacLean]

Listen, because the example that we gave was Bambi's dad, which is really aging us all. Like, we, like, Bambi's dad is a big, beautiful stag aging you All I.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Was like, Bambi's dad, he could get it, I guess.

[Adriana Herrera]

Majestic. Majestic. Those antlers.

[Nikki Payne]

The antlers. The fog rolling up. Daddy, you know, you know what you doing?

[Adriana Herrera]

Exactly. And honestly, in 2024, when like, we've read books of, like, having sex with doorknobs, like, it's true. I mean, I guess Bambi's dad was a protector.

[Sarah MacLean]

Exactly, exactly. There was fire. He was running. It was a lot.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I don't think I've ever seen Bambi so.

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, I wouldn't recommend it at this point.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I might have to break my. No hawk. Cartoon animals.

[Sarah MacLean]

He dies in a fire gen.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So for fuck's sake, everybody, then it's a venison.

[Adriana Herrera]

What you know of.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sorry.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Just coming in hot right from the beginning. Sorry. Salt. I'm sorry.

[Sarah MacLean]

Wow, venison.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That's what you call it. Sarah, hear me out.

[Sarah MacLean]

Venison.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Hear me out. Hear me out. Venison.

[Nikki Payne]

But before he dies in the fire, let me hear about that. Dear sausage. Ow.

[Adriana Herrera]

Exactly. And that. That chest, that barrel chested lover I.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Should see right now, I should pivot immediately to. In Ferris Bueller when he shows up and he says, I'm Abe Froman, and the guy says, the sausage king of Chicago.

[Sarah MacLean]

That's me. So wait, Adriana, you had some, like, feelings about the actual assignment? You weren't. You weren't content with the way the assignment was disseminated?

[Adriana Herrera]

Because I had. I have. I have people like fictional or otherwise animated or in, you know, humans. But I also have like, eras concept fashion trends, you see, Like, I just stick to like, say, a person or. And or fictional character. I also kind of wanted to like, abide, like, you know, suit suits. Like, why don't we bring those back? Like that kind of thing. Like, why don't we have more romances with men wearing suit suits?

[Jennifer Prokop]

I felt like once I realized I saw a guy and his wife doing it and she was like key lime pie. And I was like, oh, this really opens things up for me. Now I feel that I can participate.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay. So you really felt like key lime pie? Like, no, I think key lime pilot is nasty.

[Jennifer Prokop]

But I understood that I could not do things other than people and not cartoon animals.

[Sarah MacLean]

That's fine.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yes.

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, we all took this assignment in a different direction. So here is how this is going to work, everybody. We are going to. As people propose their hear me out character or thing or era, we will show you your podcasting app will, if images are supported on it will become the cake. You will start. You will see the image on your podcasting app. For the purposes of this group, we will text the image to each other so that we all have the. The primary source, the text itself. So, Adriana, do you want to start?

[Adriana Herrera]

Well, I mean, since we were on Disney Properties or. Or. Or also, like, Disney Properties or other franchises that have been feature. Animated feature films. I was going to start with the Incredibles because we had talked about Mr. Incredible. But my suggestion. Hear me out. Is a threesome. Mr. Incredible, Edna. Because Edna. Let me tell you something. Edna's a tiny little tot. Edna is a tiny little tot.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, for sure she is.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes. 100%. Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Is Mr. Incredible a bottom?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Do we feel.

[Adriana Herrera]

Oh, 100%.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

So in this scenario, Mr. Incredible is getting pegged by Edna. Yeah, definitely.

[Adriana Herrera]

I feel like we could.

[Sarah MacLean]

We're just starting.

[Adriana Herrera]

I feel like Mistress Incredible or Bestie the Ice dude can't remember his name.

[Sarah MacLean]

Frozen.

[Adriana Herrera]

Jackson.

[Nikki Payne]

Frozen.

[Adriana Herrera]

Frozen.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Ask a clarifying question. And I feel like I'm in a really. Perhaps it's going to really show my ignorance of a certain kind of sexual act.

[Sarah MacLean]

But in my memory, we did an episode about it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, I understand. That doesn't mean I've done it. Sarah. In my memory of Mr. Incredible, he is, like, all torso and has, like, literally no ass.

[Sarah MacLean]

Teeny, tiny butt. You're right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So do well.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay, interesting. But Ed is very small to the task.

[Jennifer Prokop]

But Edna's also small. Okay, now I'm. Now I'm back at it.

[Adriana Herrera]

She's a planner. Okay? So she will have a plan for that cute little bottom.

[Nikki Payne]

I said, can't you just see us snapping some rubber glove? And she's like, get ready.

[Adriana Herrera]

Bend over.

[Nikki Payne]

Bend over. Cough.

[Sarah MacLean]

She's created a new form of, like, textile.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I like how we're starting out.

[Sarah MacLean]

Just really, really light.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, I just feel like if the Disney Corporation is going to come for us, they'll just. They don't have to even go into the episode. They'll just start right at the beginning.

[Sarah MacLean]

Correct. Headphones in Disney.

[Nikki Payne]

There's a fic out there, I'm sure.

[Adriana Herrera]

Somebody please write me this fic. Yeah, I need it.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, this fic exists.

[Adriana Herrera]

I'm gonna look for it and I'll report back.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, I'll allow it. I guess we'll allow it. So wait, the threesome is really where that shines?

[Jennifer Prokop]

You're the third person in this three. Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

I mean, anybody is.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Anybody, anybody is. They would just be fun in a threesome.

[Sarah MacLean]

I gotcha. I think. I think you're meant to consider it. Okay. Like, fair, thoughtful.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yes.

[Sarah MacLean]

Analysis. Thoughtful consideration.

[Adriana Herrera]

But we can see it, right, Edna Core. I mean, because in a threesome, you need someone that's good at coordination.

[E]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Like organize.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, you do. It requires.

[Sarah MacLean]

All right, who's next? Jen, you go.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay. I. I was very upset about my inability, apparently, to find cartoon animals hot. And I was really like, I gotta think of something to feed the beast of, you know, that demand. And I. Hear me out. Oscar the Grouch.

[Adriana Herrera]

Oh.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, it's real dirty.

[Nikki Payne]

Wait a minute.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah MacLean]

I believe. No, I'm in.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And I think, like, right. I. I feel like I really hit upon something here.

[Adriana Herrera]

I'm going to have to interject for a second, because I did not grow up in the United States of America, so. I know. I know. Sesame Street. Is he the one in the trash can?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Okay.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And I think for me, obviously, the actual trash can is a bit of a detriment, but the entire vibe is pristine of just, like, he does not want to deal with your bullshit at all. Like, just get the fuck out of here. And I just found myself thinking that could be somebody I could have a good time with. Right.

[Nikki Payne]

Can I challenge you, Jen? Is the trash can a detriment?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Like, I mean, it's true.

[Adriana Herrera]

I was gonna say, if it's a.

[Sarah MacLean]

Private spot on Sesame street, it's metaphor.

[Adriana Herrera]

It's got a lid.

[Nikki Payne]

It's got a lid.

[Jennifer Prokop]

He's got his own place. He's got his own pad. It's great. I think. Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Now, this is making me think, like, Muppets in general. I did not go to the Muppets.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I mean, I think you could make a case for, like, animal.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, now, animal. The Heathcliff of the Muppets.

[Nikki Payne]

Excuse me. Gonzo was right there.

[Sarah MacLean]

Gonzo is right there.

[Nikki Payne]

Gonzo, guys. He's right there. Like, what are we doing?

[Adriana Herrera]

Okay. I like the one that counts. The vampire.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, yeah, the count that count.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Count.

[Adriana Herrera]

Font Count, Count, Count, Count would be an excellent romance hero.

[Nikki Payne]

This is kind of genius.

[Sarah MacLean]

Wait, all right, here's one that's controversial, though, in this day and age. Sam, the American Eagle. Oh, well, I mean, he's got, like, a square jaw. He's very stern.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure.

[Adriana Herrera]

I mean, there are some corners of the Internet where he'd be right at home where he would be quite sought out.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Dr. Teeth.

[Jennifer Prokop]

He just seems so joyless always. Sam, the. The American eagle guy. Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Dr. T. Chef Romance People. The Swedish Chef. Yes. No, weird.

[Adriana Herrera]

Oh, he's the messy one.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

In the kitchen.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah, he's a little silly, but that could work for like a cinnamon roll hero.

[Nikki Payne]

I see it.

[Adriana Herrera]

I can see it. I can see it.

[Sarah MacLean]

I mean, I feel like she's out of the. Out of the club because she's an obvious one, but Miss Piggy for sure.

[Adriana Herrera]

Oh, Miss Piggy is that bitch. She's that girl always.

[Sarah MacLean]

She's the Thor of right.

[Nikki Payne]

Everybody's like, objectively hot. That was a goal.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right? Exactly. Like, what? Done.

[Nikki Payne]

She's smoking.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah, she is. She's that girl always and forever.

[Nikki Payne]

She's a bombshell.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oscar the Grouch was good, though.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This week's episode of Fated Mates is brought to you by Kayla Gross, author of Axes and O's.

[Sarah MacLean]

So as you all know, I love Kayla Gross. So the moment that this book became available, I immediately downloaded it. And let me tell you, Jen, um, it is very hot. Nathan Clark has had a bad day. He's like, had a terrible day at work. He's got to drive through a snowstorm to be at his sister's house for the holidays. And wouldn't you know that like his car slides off the road. It's all very chaotic. He like gets out of the car to go find help and then passes out in the snow. Lucky for him, Fox and Morgan Malone happen to have like a snowy, like out of the way cabin up there. And they also like to like run around in the snow and like do dirty stuff outside. And so they stumble upon Nathan passed out in the snow, bring him home.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This is lucky for him.

[Sarah MacLean]

Somebody's getting very lucky in this.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This is fortuitous.

[Sarah MacLean]

They bring him home. He wakes up warm and toasty in a bed and can hear in the other room these two going at it. Listen. No notes. This is exactly what I want from Kayla Gross. So he gets up, he goes in there, he sees them. Fox is like tattooed and big and brawny and a dom. And Morgan is tattooed and curvy, plus size rep, always in Kayla Gross books and like, and a switch. And all of a sudden Nathan is like, everything I thought about myself, my identity, my sexuality and my future is out the window. Because I want these two and I want them forever. And listen, they've been looking for a third and they are pretty sure they found it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

There's no snow left because they melted it all, everybody. So if you are interested in reading about a snowed in force proximity romance with these three, then X's and O's is for you. It is available in Print, ebook, audio and with your monthly subscription to Kindle Unlimited. And in fact, at the end of this episode, stick around and we have an audio excerpt for you so that you can get your 2025 started off just right.

[Sarah MacLean]

With a bang.

[Jennifer Prokop]

With a bang. Many bangs. All the banging. If your podcasting app supports it, you can click on the chapter title right now to be taken to the Buy the book. Thank you to Kayla Gross for sponsoring this week's episode.

[Nikki Payne]

If we're still in the children's genre.

[Jennifer Prokop]

We'Re just scaring the people off right from living it right now.

[Adriana Herrera]

We're gonna stay there for a bit. We're gonna do that.

[Sarah MacLean]

I have a few that are sort.

[Nikki Payne]

Of that I'm going to go with with a favorite of mine, and that is Spirit the Stallion.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I have to look that up. Everyone. I don't know.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay, look, let me see if I can.

[Sarah MacLean]

A true steed, a true seed.

[Nikki Payne]

A true steed.

[Sarah MacLean]

Sex on horseback. Jen, you know all about that.

[Adriana Herrera]

Well, I have that also to bring it back just as a concept and as a way of life.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes.

[Adriana Herrera]

You know what? Spirit was majestic, too. Was Spirit connected to the Pocahontas universe?

[Nikki Payne]

I don't know.

[Sarah MacLean]

No, I think not. I think that's just a show about horses. Pocahontas also objectively hot.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Oh, gosh.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes.

[Adriana Herrera]

The only non problematic person in that movie. Okay, Spirit.

[Sarah MacLean]

I see Spirit the stallion. I'm pro horse.

[Adriana Herrera]

Adventurous, Noble.

[Sarah MacLean]

Noble. Oh, yeah. Look at that nose.

[Nikki Payne]

Do you see that?

[Sarah MacLean]

Like, yeah, in a lot. The hair, the man.

[Jennifer Prokop]

There's like.

[Sarah MacLean]

I mean.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, right?

[Nikki Payne]

Do you guys see that? Like that. That feels intentional to me.

[Sarah MacLean]

It feels like he has like.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I can do that.

[Nikki Payne]

They're very much trying to make him hot.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, yeah. His gaze.

[Adriana Herrera]

Oh, yeah. And that hair.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Girl, come on.

[Nikki Payne]

You see what they're doing? Like they were doing something to the young girls. Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

Stallion of the. Of the Cimarron.

[Adriana Herrera]

The neck muscles, everything is chest.

[Nikki Payne]

Do you see that? The chest situation?

[Sarah MacLean]

Yep. Very straight white teeth.

[Jennifer Prokop]

He also seems familiar with anal sex.

[Adriana Herrera]

Or at least.

[Jennifer Prokop]

At least a little.

[Adriana Herrera]

And I'm gonna.

[Sarah MacLean]

You think. Why does he look startled? No, I think.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I think I meant like. I think I meant more like a little bum licking.

[Adriana Herrera]

Like, would that play? Would that play with that? Yeah, I. I see what you're. I'm picking up what you're putting down.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Adriana Herrera]

Listen, let me right up in there.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Let me see if I can find this one of him. There's a photo of Spirit fighting an eagle here.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, all right, all right.

[Adriana Herrera]

Fully standing up.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

We're gonna put it in the chat group.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay. We're saving all these images, everybody.

[Adriana Herrera]

This is.

[Sarah MacLean]

This is instead of a book array. Yes. On show notes. It's obviously.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's just gonna be. Oh, look at.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, all right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay. That's hot. Sure.

[Sarah MacLean]

This is a real who hurt you Moment.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, justifiable face punching.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Amazing.

[Adriana Herrera]

I had the course from Tangled because I feel like he was really the one that was the. The. The Rake.

[Sarah MacLean]

You know, the only serious man in that. In that sense of humor.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Wait, Sarah, have you gone yet or. We're still.

[Sarah MacLean]

I have not gone, so. But since we're starting with children. Well, I mean, children's. Not children. Children's.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

It's the holiday season, so I'm gonna.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Go with just everybody keep my job. It's fine.

[Adriana Herrera]

Oh, the Grinch 100.

[Sarah MacLean]

Only. The. Only the anime, like the Doctor.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Animated Grinch. Not the new Grinch.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No, no, no. Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Not the Jim Car.

[Sarah MacLean]

No, not these AI Grinches.

[Nikki Payne]

We're almost here. And then we went there. Because I was saying only live action.

[F]

Oh.

[Adriana Herrera]

I was going to say I honestly. And maybe that's where Nikki and I. That we're going to have to do factions because to me. To me.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

The Grinch played by Juan Jim Carrey would be the Grinch that you would take to the club. Like, he would take you. That's a bottle service. That's a bottle service. Cut at night.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah, that is.

[Nikki Payne]

I'm sorry, that's. It's him. He seems like he gives really sloppy. Sorry.

[Adriana Herrera]

But takes you out first. He'd be taken to the VIP room, you to get bottle service.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And then. And then.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah, he'd show you a nice night out.

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, so I feel like the Grinch, the animated Grinch, the, like, line drawing Grinch from Dr. Seuss is more like an IAD, like Jen's favorite IAD hero. Like a sort of a, like, horned creature who, like, has not bathed and doesn't really know about baths, but, like, and has been. Has been raised, like, kind of tortured and, like, alone and is very sad and hates himself. And that, as you all know, is my song.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, boy.

[Sarah MacLean]

Like, he just needs the love of.

[Adriana Herrera]

A good who Just to see her. Just to see that. Who one time. And the layers start falling off.

[Sarah MacLean]

Exactly. And then his heart and other things grow three sizes.

[Jennifer Prokop]

She wasn't afraid to go there.

[Adriana Herrera]

I love that as a tagline. I love that as a tagline for. I agree with the Grinch. And any interpretation of the Grinch, I think definitely would be a banger as a romance. There's a lot to work with there with that story. There's a lot to work with with backstory.

[Sarah MacLean]

Backstory is Chef's Kiss.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

All right, Adriana.

[Adriana Herrera]

All right. I have one of the things that I feel like we don't focus enough on, and I feel like, just in general, in a lot of, like, inspiration for romance hero archetypes is our secondary characters.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Fair.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

That's why I was. I feel like. Because a lot of the times we have our MCs who have, especially in the Disney properties, a lot of these heroes, especially in the old school ones, didn't have much of a personality. Like, they were there to be cute.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And, like, have, like, heroes were just full circle.

[Adriana Herrera]

There wasn't a lot to work with.

[Nikki Payne]

But you had big swings.

[Adriana Herrera]

You had those psychics that really kind of brought some. Some brought the oomph. I had Lumiere. Okay. I have Lumiere because I feel like Lumiere A can work with at least three holes. So there's that.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

I mean, there is fire involved.

[Adriana Herrera]

He's hot. It melts. So if you want to get a little kinky, but also the man is stern, you know, like Andy. Andy Crystal. First time brunch daddy. I think that's Jerry Orbach.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah MacLean]

I mean, but also, like a rape. Like, the way he goes for those.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

The little dishes or whatever ostrich made.

[Adriana Herrera]

He's got them all running. Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yes.

[Adriana Herrera]

At the drop of a hat, he's got them running.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That's true.

[Nikki Payne]

I never saw it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You've never seen this?

[Sarah MacLean]

You've never seen Beauty and the Beast?

[Nikki Payne]

No, I've seen Beauty and the Beast.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, you never saw.

[Sarah MacLean]

Sexually attracted to the sandal.

[Adriana Herrera]

And I feel like they need to take a second look.

[Sarah MacLean]

No, I think he's French. I mean, everybody knows French. You know, he's such a playboy.

[Adriana Herrera]

Gonna be a little dirty.

[Sarah MacLean]

He is. He is after the. He's after the housemaids.

[Nikki Payne]

But the whole time, he was.

[Adriana Herrera]

He was there the whole time in general.

[Sarah MacLean]

He's so welcoming. Come in. Make yourself comfortable. Let me get you some. Let me have the lady bring you tea. Angela Lansbury will bring you tea.

[Adriana Herrera]

Some food. You know, I love a man that can procure some food in a romance novel.

[Sarah MacLean]

Try the gray stuff. It's delicious.

[Adriana Herrera]

It's delicious. Like smooth. He's a smooth operator. Okay, I get it.

[Sarah MacLean]

I'm with you. He's in charge I mean, this is a good example of, like, I think there again, I think this is a world where there are a lot of hot. There are a lot of hear me outs in there.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure, yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, yeah. The wardrobe, she's like a great madam. Like, I want a whole brothel run by the wardrobe.

[Adriana Herrera]

That whole movie's got a lot of. A lot of great potential.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Here's an interesting Beauty and the Beast question for you, which is like a yes or no.

[Adriana Herrera]

All right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Were you disappointed at the end when the Beast turned back into that, like, pale man?

[Sarah MacLean]

Thousand percent.

[Nikki Payne]

Oh, come on. Yeah, come on.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right?

[Sarah MacLean]

Everybody was.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Everybody's like, why'd you have to do that? Who picked that? Put that fucking flower back under the fucking thing.

[Nikki Payne]

Literally. Like, I do not remember what the Beast looks like in human form. Like, when they show the Beast. Yeah, it's always the Beast.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Nikki Payne]

Like, who. What does he transform into? I'm only seeing Prince Eric from.

[Jennifer Prokop]

They all look the same.

[Sarah MacLean]

Less sexy than Prince Eric because he's blonde.

[Nikki Payne]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

And blonde men can't be trusted.

[Adriana Herrera]

And the Beast is who you fall in love with.

[Nikki Payne]

The Beast is who she falls in love with. That gruff exterior.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah. He's got hawks.

[Adriana Herrera]

I mean, the man's got.

[Sarah MacLean]

When he stands up and he's got the. Again, huge chest. Oh, My God, he's Mr. Incredible.

[Nikki Payne]

He's missing.

[Sarah MacLean]

Huge chest, huge thrust, tiny little feet.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, they're probably using the same animation.

[Sarah MacLean]

Mr. Incredible. They probably did the same.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Same. Same exact energy. Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

Same energy.

[Sarah MacLean]

Jennifer.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I have another person from a Disney property, but it's an adult.

[Sarah MacLean]

All right, that's fine.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I think this person is, like, actually good looking, but I'm a little ashamed of my love for this character. And that is Clinton Barton Hawkeye, as played by Jeremy Renner.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, interesting. So I. I'm new to Marvel, and I understand, like, people don't like this character.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, I. And I. But I always did. Like, I'm sorry. He pulled out those arrows and, like. And, you know, like, his arms and.

[Sarah MacLean]

Never runs out, you know, and that.

[Jennifer Prokop]

But, like, really, I think as a character, he was definitely underutilized. And then it turns out he's, like, secretly married. I don't know. Like, it. None of that ever worked. But I really will tell you, I always was like, he's hot. And I'm ashamed of it, though.

[Sarah MacLean]

I like this faro, this forehead.

[Nikki Payne]

He looks troubled all the time.

[Adriana Herrera]

I've always had a soft paw for him because I feel like his barber's Dominican.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

Like, the faith that he's got. Very specific. His haircut always has given me. Okay, so you go to a Dominican barber.

[Sarah MacLean]

You knew.

[Adriana Herrera]

That's why I have a soft spot for him.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And it's like, arguably, he is a nothing. Even when he's on the screen, there's like, nothing to him. And yet I was like, I like this guy.

[Sarah MacLean]

He's an excellent shot.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, sure, I guess he is.

[Sarah MacLean]

That's something, right? The rest of them are just like hammers going for nails.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure.

[Sarah MacLean]

And he's never misses. And he does have a. He has a nice wife.

[Adriana Herrera]

He does have a nice wife. I must admit that for me, Winter Soldier and Captain America are the only thing I care about in those movies. So I have to go back and watch because everybody was watching the Avengers.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And you were watching Love Story Ever.

[Adriana Herrera]

Told, which was the story between Captain America and the Winter Soldier.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Incredible Hulk is right there, though.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, right, Exactly. The Incredible Hulk is right there. Like, there's clearly.

[Sarah MacLean]

I mean, he's my favorite.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Scarlet Witch is right there. Oh, yes, right. I mean, Black Widow's right there. I mean, I will admit I even Tony Stark, but you guys, for some reason, Clint Barton, embarrassing. Well, true.

[Sarah MacLean]

He. You know what? Jeremy Renner just got a chill because he was like, somebody's talking about me today.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, yeah, you know, and then he had that terrible accident, and now I feel bad talking about him.

[Sarah MacLean]

He did, and that was very sad. And now he does commercials.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You know what?

[Sarah MacLean]

He's great. He's fine.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Everybody's got to pay their bill very well.

[Sarah MacLean]

I've seen him on the television.

[Nikki Payne]

Gotta pay the bills.

[Sarah MacLean]

This week's episode of Faded Maids is sponsored by Avon Books, publishers of Jillian Meadows's Give Me Butterflies.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So this is a swoony, steamy stem romance about two curators at a science museum. We have handsome but grumpy astronomer Finn and an anxious but sunshiny entomologist named Millie. They realize they're the perfect match, as Millie is essentially interviewing for a new that she's really excited about. She loves her job being a curator, inspiring museum visitors every day. But she wants a larger role. And so a director position opens up, and she is just, like, really determined to, like, go after it and ignore her grumpy co worker, Finn, who is constantly scowling and also is, like, kind of cute with his nerdiest Ron me ties. So Finn doesn't really mean to be that grumpy at work, but he has a lot going on in his personal life. He's Navigating the grief of losing his sister. Right. Attempting to make his nieces smile and try not to ruin dinner for the fifth night in a row. He cannot let anything slip. And being put on the the interview committee means that he has, like, new responsibilities at work. So Millie and Finn all of a sudden are sort of spending more time together now that he is part of the group of people interviewing her. And Millie is just like, what's going to happen? It's one thing when my job is on the line, but quite another when it is her heart.

[Sarah MacLean]

If you think this steamy stem romance would be for you, you can get Give Me Butterflies right now in print, ebook, audiobook, or with your monthly subscription to Kindle Unlimited, if your podcasting app supports it. You can click on the chapter title right now to be taken to buy the book. Thanks to Jillian Meadows and to Avon Books for sponsoring this week's episode. Nikki Payne. Who is your second?

[Nikki Payne]

I want everyone who's still in the cartoon canon to go, because I'm shifting to an obscure category.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay?

[Sarah MacLean]

I do not have another cartoon.

[Adriana Herrera]

I have one more. Bruno from Encanto. I almost put Bruno on my cheek. I was going to say from Encanto. I would have dated in college, and I feel like people. People don't give him enough credit as a character.

[Nikki Payne]

Adriana, could you get out of my head? Bruno for Encanto is a beautiful, misunderstood, amazing. Okay, okay, okay. Listen to this thread. This thread, okay? If you put the Grinch, Oscar and Bruno together, these are three dirty. Okay. That also have a heart of gold.

[Jennifer Prokop]

There you go.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay, okay. Wait. Mary, Kill Bruno the Grinch, Oscar.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, well, I don't. I've never seen Encanto, so I guess I'm killing that guy.

[E]

Okay.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's easy.

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, he's tortured and he can see the future.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That seems bad.

[Sarah MacLean]

Right?

[Jennifer Prokop]

What am I? What. So I marry and I'm marrying Bruno?

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, you get to live in that house.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah. And then the. The Grinch for sure.

[Nikki Payne]

Because. Come on. Come on. With the time he says. He's such a. He's a good guy. Okay. And unfortunately, Oscar's. Oscar's gotta go. Maybe because he's like his. His attitude maybe, like, maybe a little too much.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Maybe cute for a little bit. But. Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

His place is too small.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Fair. Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

Even in New York City, you need a little more space.

[Sarah MacLean]

But if you marry Oscar, you do live on Sesame street and there's some value.

[Nikki Payne]

That's true.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This is true. It's also true.

[Adriana Herrera]

But.

[Sarah MacLean]

But it might be Too much for me, honestly. Sesame Street.

[Jennifer Prokop]

We're a little too hardcore for Sesame Street. They'll be like, you're all very inappropriate.

[Sarah MacLean]

All right, so Bruno from Encanto. Now, Nikki, you go. I do have some Marvel characters, but they're all grown ups.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay? So I have this thing that I know is just me because every time I try to gently broach it with my other friends who are like, ew. So I'll let it be.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'm ready.

[Nikki Payne]

And it is this genre gently broach of black men that I call, like, 90s black dad.

[Adriana Herrera]

Okay.

[Nikki Payne]

And let me. I'm gonna give you an example. A few examples. Okay?

[Jennifer Prokop]

First, so this is like an archetype.

[Nikki Payne]

It's an archetype. Wendell Pierce, 90s black dad. He was. He was bunk from the Wire.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nikki Payne]

Also this.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No, everybody, Nikki, here's why this is working for me, because I'm currently married to this.

[Sarah MacLean]

All these men would wear a sweater vest.

[Jennifer Prokop]

My husband loves a sweater behind tree guy. Oh, yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Wait, I'm sorry, who else?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Wait, he's behind the tree guy.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay. He's just waiting. He's lying in bed, he's so excited for.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's like Christmas dinner to get on the table.

[Sarah MacLean]

He does look. Yep.

[Nikki Payne]

Like, do you like, these are.

[Sarah MacLean]

These are caretakers. These are just like decent men who want you home by curfew.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. Yes, yes.

[Nikki Payne]

And unfortunately, this guy gets a bad rap because he deserves a bad rap. But he has on this leather vest he was in, waiting to exhale. He screams, you raggedy.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Hey.

[Nikki Payne]

When I say. Hear me out. When I say, ladies, just hear me out.

[Sarah MacLean]

This leather, like, vest, like, part tuxedo, part vest.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes.

[Sarah MacLean]

Is less dad and more something else. But I'm more daddy.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes, yes.

[Adriana Herrera]

I. I love it.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay, I don't know where to go from here because I. I don't have, like, a good.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Just break the seal and go to a new place. That's fine.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

All right. I am gonna go to the Gorton's fisherman. Oh, hey. Okay, first of all, very competent.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Wait, didn't you text this to everybody? Oh, oh, okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

Daddy, I was just talking about the Gordon's fisherman this weekend from my mind.

[Nikki Payne]

Listen, I need to see him immediately because I'm only seeing 100.

[Sarah MacLean]

Do you have your text open, Nikki? Because I just dropped it. Like, Listen, this man is prepared. 1. He can sail a boat in the event that we need to just get the fuck off a continent.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Second of all, he has all that vine, that sort of rain gear for any event. That beard can get it. And look at the size of this man's hands. He can catch a fish with his bare hands.

[Nikki Payne]

Oh, my. Least I am so activated.

[Adriana Herrera]

He could fight a shark with those things.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah, he could fight a shark. He can find you dinner.

[Nikki Payne]

Is this an oil painting?

[Sarah MacLean]

I'm sorry.

[E]

Yes.

[Sarah MacLean]

This is an artistic rendering of the Gordon's Fisherman.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I like how there's, like, a pair of balls at the bottom of that net, though.

[Sarah MacLean]

Listen, this artist knows. They know, right?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Like, look at the placement, everybody, of the one, like, spoke on his little wheel.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, yeah. That cozy sweater. That cozy, like, sure. Listen, I. I. Gordon's Fisherman can get it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

We are, by the way, for my.

[Sarah MacLean]

Whole life, I thought that was Gordon's with a D. Today I discovered it's Gorton's with an.

[Adriana Herrera]

It's Gorton's Fisherman.

[Jennifer Prokop]

All right, there you go.

[Sarah MacLean]

So there it is. That's my contender.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That's actually pretty good.

[Adriana Herrera]

That is. I think I. We might have to finish the episode right here because I.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Wait, Adriana just found the third I.

[Adriana Herrera]

That is. That is an attractive man.

[Nikki Payne]

I can't get over the quality of his painting.

[Sarah MacLean]

Nikki wants to find this artist.

[Nikki Payne]

I'm just quite amazed.

[Sarah MacLean]

This is back before AI when, like, you know, real artists were hired to sell real products.

[Nikki Payne]

I need you to. I need everyone to know this is a Rembrandt.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It is. It's a beautiful thing.

[Sarah MacLean]

It really is.

[Adriana Herrera]

This is the wall.

[Nikki Payne]

Good night.

[Jennifer Prokop]

All right. This is kind of the same light. I'm again slightly embarrassed by this, but it's Pete Buttigieg.

[Nikki Payne]

Wow.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's people to judge everybody.

[Adriana Herrera]

You are from the Midwest.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I am. I am from the Midwest. And here's the thing, you guys, I just feel like when here. Okay, hear me out.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah, When I'm listening.

[Jennifer Prokop]

When.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, that's a good picture. Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

When you're talking to someone who is certifiably fucking insane, I just get angry and, like, lose my mind. And this man just stays so calm. He just knows all these facts, like, real facts, not, like, feelings facts. And then he, like, just talks to the people, like. And you can tell he thinks they're fucking idiots, but he's so much better at doing you're a fucking idiot without.

[Sarah MacLean]

Saying you're a fucking idiot.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right?

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And I just find that I think I'm gonna really, like, that is the energy we could all use as we enter 2025.

[Sarah MacLean]

That's the energy you're Taking.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No, I can't.

[Adriana Herrera]

I was like, false.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No. I don't have this energy, clearly. But I do. I admire it. And I think that there is something a little, like, kind of hot about it.

[Sarah MacLean]

All right, fine.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And again, I know that's crazy, but Pete poo. To judge everybody. That's it. That's my ogre.

[Adriana Herrera]

I mean, he's.

[Sarah MacLean]

Thank you.

[Adriana Herrera]

Very competent man. We love competence.

[Jennifer Prokop]

We love a competent man.

[Sarah MacLean]

Right? Okay, what did we do? We did Bruno, and then we did 90s black dad.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes.

[Sarah MacLean]

And then we did Gordon's Fisherman, and now Pete Buttigieg. So, Adriana, you're up again.

[Adriana Herrera]

I had, like. And it's funny, because one of the things I had here was, like, 80s.

[Sarah MacLean]

Aesthetics that I feel Olivia Newton John.

[Adriana Herrera]

I was thinking one of them was tall black man with interesting hairstyles, like Arsenio hall or Eric Lasalle.

[Sarah MacLean]

Just tall, slender black man in very.

[Adriana Herrera]

Large suits in, like, oversized clothing and just interesting.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Fades, haircuts, you know, like. You know, like. Yeah, yeah, that's that. That vibe. But also Dolly parton in the 80s.

[Jennifer Prokop]

But, like, in a sapphic romance.

[Adriana Herrera]

Okay, I want Dolly Parton and, like, Sigourney Weaver together. You know, like Sigourney Weaver.

[Sarah MacLean]

I don't think the purse alone.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You just merged with.

[Sarah MacLean]

80S movies of all time.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I have to go next, then, because one of mine. One of mine, and it's very specific, so I. I feel like maybe we could talk about them together. Is the hair of Melanie Griffith and Joan Cusack from Working Girl. Just the hair.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, just the hair. Do you have a photograph, please? It is.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's there. It's there. Now let me tell you something.

[Sarah MacLean]

There it is.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, right. And here's why. I just feel like women used to really know how to fucking take up space in a room with their heads.

[Adriana Herrera]

You are not wrong.

[Sarah MacLean]

That is terrific.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And now it's just like, everything's straight, everything, Right? I mean, like, white ladies really used to look what you used to have on the top of your head. And now it's.

[Adriana Herrera]

It was a celebration, right?

[Sarah MacLean]

Yes, it was a celebration. It's like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. That Aqua Net. Yes. This is your culture.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This is your. Yes, that used to be my culture. Like, look at what I've lost, everybody. Now I'm gonna bring back the perm. Can I tell you? Can I admit something? I have taught Joan Cusef's kids. So I've met her in person. She's a famous Chicagoan. She owns a very cool little like, shop in old town Chicago neighborhood called Judy Maxwell Home. And sometimes you go in there to buy, like, cute little gifts, and you're like, oh, there's Joan. But I think, in particular, like, just, like, Working Girl is obviously a perfect movie, but, like, I just look back, and I was like, these are women who used to know how to take up space.

[Adriana Herrera]

I mean, look, just think about the shoulder pads, okay?

[Nikki Payne]

Like, also, just quick, quick, tiny, miniature. Hear me out for Joan Cusack in the Addams Family. Do you guys remember John Cusack? She was just a femme fatale.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yeah.

[Nikki Payne]

She was unbelievable. Like, she was just smoking in that movie, and I'm like, I want her to win. But, like, when I was so confused. Smoke show.

[Adriana Herrera]

Just Joan Cusack in general.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, she's the best.

[Adriana Herrera]

Like, bring back that kind of female energy into fiction, please.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes. Okay, so you were talking about. You said Sydney Sigourney Weaver and. Right. Dolly parties. Oh, look, see, there she is.

[Adriana Herrera]

That would be so hot. I mean, like, that'll turn you gay.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right? Dolly Parton Weaver.

[Sarah MacLean]

But I. But again, I feel like these are all just, like, empirically.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, right. Exactly. Well, that's why I was like, we got to talk about the hair. Because I feel like everybody, like, yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

I do also have an 80s icon on my list, and that is. This is the one. I texted Jen, and I was like, I'm so excited. I just had a great moment. The evil sensei from Karate Kid.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

I had Karate Kid, and I said, don't go there.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Don't go.

[Adriana Herrera]

Georgiana.

[Jennifer Prokop]

The one who's like, finish him.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yes. Yeah, that's fine. I know I'm not supposed to. I know. This is a very bad man.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Look at his.

[Adriana Herrera]

He's in Cobra Kai, baby. He did another four seasons of that crazy shit.

[Sarah MacLean]

He can't get a job doing anything else.

[Adriana Herrera]

Adriana, that old cokehead got a job for four seasons on Cobra Kai.

[Sarah MacLean]

Look at him. Look at his chest hair.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Look at his. Look at him.

[Sarah MacLean]

His chin dimples.

[Nikki Payne]

Look at that temple. Oh, my.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah, listen, this man. I did say this to Eric, and he was like, what is wrong with you?

[Jennifer Prokop]

You're like, hear me out. Hear me out.

[Sarah MacLean]

Finish him.

[Nikki Payne]

Also, strangely enough, in this picture, when I zoomed in, there's, like, this kid in the middle who looks, like, terrified.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Who'S like, what the. Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

He's like. He's like, hear me out.

[Jennifer Prokop]

When I was a kid and, like, finish him. I was like, that's so wrong. But now I'm like, that's kind of hot. Finish him's kind of hot.

[Sarah MacLean]

Daniel was annoying.

[Adriana Herrera]

Daniel. I mean, I. I was really there for Mr. Miyagi because that. No one does start to annoy you after a while.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure. Yep.

[Sarah MacLean]

And stays that way.

[Adriana Herrera]

He would sit with him.

[Sarah MacLean]

We're watching Ugly Betty and he's on Ugly Betty. The Ralph Macchio has a. Like. Is a side character on Ugly Betty in like season four and continues to just be annoying. So it's unfortunate. Sorry, Ralph Macchio, but you're not listening.

[Adriana Herrera]

You know who was super hot? It was the he, the bad guy from the Karate Kid that they went to Japan.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I don't know who that.

[Sarah MacLean]

I don't remember that. I don't think I watched that one.

[Adriana Herrera]

Well, you know, it was. It wasn't that good. It wasn't that good.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's like Karate Kid 4, the Electric Boogaloo.

[Adriana Herrera]

It was only for those of us who really rolled deep with the karate key. But, but, but, but it was.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You.

[Adriana Herrera]

Know, but it was. I'm gonna look up his photo. He was very hot and he came back for Cobra Kai.

[Jennifer Prokop]

See, there you go.

[Sarah MacLean]

Wait, the hot Japanese guy came back? My guy and my guy. Listen, they were all bad and chimple, as we referred to him.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This week's episode of Faded Mates is brought to you by Megan Quinn, author of the Path to Loving Him.

[Sarah MacLean]

Gabby, our heroine really wants to be an assistant baseball coach. And so she has traveled to this town, this new town, and she has had an interview. And Jen, it went fully, terribly. So she decides to do the only thing a self respecting young woman can do in this situation and take herself to the nearest bar and find the nearest hot man to have a one night stand with. Because at least then she's got something to show for this weekend away. Or this time.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I love it, Gabby. You go, girl.

[Sarah MacLean]

The one night stand is perfect. No notes. At the end of it, she sneaks out before breakfast. She thinks she's on the free and clear. She goes home sulking about the job of feeling a little better, you know, and it all goes well until she gets a telephone call. Turns out she didn't blow the interview. Jen, she got the job. She is gonna go be the assistant baseball coach working under. Can you guess?

[Jennifer Prokop]

I can guess. That one night stand.

[Sarah MacLean]

Sarah, the man she's already been under once before. Ryland. So here's the thing though. She's in this new town, she needs a place to stay. Well, it just so happens Ryland has an apartment above his garage. And so now she's trying to keep it tight in front of both her boss and her landlord, but then her shower blows and. And she ends up, you know, sneaking into his house at night to take showers, and who knows what's going to happen? Except it's a Megan Quinn book, so they're definitely going to smash all over that house is what I know.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I would hope so. So if you are interested in this fun, frolicking romance about a one night stand becoming your boss, then you should pre order the Path to loving him, which is will be available with your monthly subscription to Kindle Unlimited on January 7th. If your podcasting app supports it. You can just click on the chapter title right now to do that pre order. Thanks to Megan Quinn for sponsoring this week's episode.

[Adriana Herrera]

All right, let's keep it going because if we're going into 80s villains, I've got a couple.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay. Go ahead, Nikki.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay. Okay. We're going into 80s villains. Let me look at my. Let me look at my folder. Okay. In my defense, I was too young for feelings in the 80s quite yet, but I do have a early 90s. But it's. It's always like, you guys. It's always a dad. Like, what's wrong with me?

[Jennifer Prokop]

You were just preparing for who you were. Now it's fine. Exactly.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

It's fine.

[Nikki Payne]

Just you guys. Dan Connor. Okay.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yeah, I. Oh, yeah, that's real.

[Nikki Payne]

Oh, yeah, sure have it. Yeah, he can have it. Just like, please just lay on me, Dan.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, no, that's real.

[Nikki Payne]

When I think about it, just a man. I want to feel his weight.

[F]

Oh, my God.

[Nikki Payne]

Oh, Dan Connor.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay, and now I have a question. Is it John Goodman? Because I will say I do have a soft spot in my heart for John Goodman.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Or is this Dan Connor or is.

[Sarah MacLean]

This character specifically Roseanne's husband?

[Nikki Payne]

It's Roseanne's husband. Because when Dan Connor, like, gets mad, I mean, you know what I mean? Like when. Like when the. When someone has to. He's normally very laid back, but there's this energy that he takes when, like, his, like, daughters are in trouble or like when someone says the wrong thing to Roseanne and I'm just like, my.

[Sarah MacLean]

You know, you don't want to piss Dan off.

[Nikki Payne]

Others are ruffled, you know?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay.

[Nikki Payne]

It's always bending over.

[Sarah MacLean]

I'm for it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Can I tell you who was on my list? That is that exact, literal, exact same energy, but from. I have an exact date of this event. Hold on. Okay, this. This is Jason Kelsey's brother. Wait, is it Jason Kelsey, this is Jason Kelsey.

[Sarah MacLean]

Jason Kelsey.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, I don't remember the other one's name is. Anyway, this is Jason Kelsey on January 22, 2024. That would be the game where he.

[Adriana Herrera]

He.

[Jennifer Prokop]

He was out of the playoffs with his team the previous week, but his brother's team was still in. And this motherfucker got drunk and took off a bunch of his clothes and just, like, hung out and acted crazy the entire night. And I was like, that's hot. Yeah, right?

[Nikki Payne]

Like, just like his whole lay on me energy. Just lay on me.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Just lay on me. Right? And then you want to lay him. Like, maybe you'd put him to the side in case he threw up in his mouth and he wouldn't move. Aspirate. But same. Same energy here.

[Adriana Herrera]

It's too much for me to take on, but I can. I can see what you're saying. Well, wait, I can see what you're saying.

[Sarah MacLean]

I have someone with. I was with you with lay on me energy. Because I have somebody I could, like, add to this mix. Yes, but he's not. He would definitely never get, like, throw up in his. No, I mean never.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This guy for sure would.

[Sarah MacLean]

And unfortunately for Jen. Do you see. Wait, hold on.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'm still talking about Jason Kelsey. Last week or two, he was, like, walking along, literally carrying a, like, six pack. No, it's more. I felt like a 12 pack. Like an insane amount of beer with his literal pinky. And somebody kind of like, started, like, talking him and this man just like, boom. Like this. This little person was like a little fly. And I was like, also hot.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Well, that is hot.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It was hot.

[Sarah MacLean]

I can see that.

[Adriana Herrera]

I can see that it's a little scary, but I can also see how it can be hot.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right? So.

[Sarah MacLean]

So I would take that lay on me energy, like, to a sterner place.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

And I don't think Jen has seen this television show, but I feel confident that the others have. And that is Carson, the butler from Downton Abbey.

[Adriana Herrera]

Oh, God, yes, of course.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes, yes.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah. Who is forever lover. Like, 100%. That man is. That man literally would go to the ends of the earth for you. And he's like, can serve a perfect English.

[Sarah MacLean]

Very large. Very large. He will polish the silver. He will make sure that the wine is all ready to go. Whatever kind of wine you want. And he'll tell you. He'll. He'll tell you exactly what he thinks and what you should do. That is the most important part.

[Adriana Herrera]

And was a wonderful husband to his. To his wife in the show.

[Nikki Payne]

And there you go. From the looks of him, like, maybe he'll put his nose in it. I don't know. You know, maybe.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, I was gonna say. Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Went to jail and came out grateful. Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

Like, I think went to jail and.

[Adriana Herrera]

He came out grateful.

[Sarah MacLean]

I think, like, a good switch. I feel like if we're in the Mrs. Incredible. Mr. The Edna Mr. Incredible. Like, like, top, bottom, threesome. Carson is our switch.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh.

[Adriana Herrera]

Carson is a hundred. It's a full. And, you know, I don't. You know, very tall men are, like, I have to, like. It's not always working for me. But Carson, because he can probably also make you a lovely dinner.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yes. And your clothes will always be perfectly pressed. Perfect.

[Adriana Herrera]

House looks neat. Neat as a pin.

[Sarah MacLean]

The house is neat as a pin. And that is an attractive quality.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That would be nice. I like that you've talked me into it. I don't know who this man is, but I appreciate it. Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay, I'm in. Adriana, you're next.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Wait, isn't it Nikki's turn?

[Sarah MacLean]

Wait, is it?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, no, no. You did Dan Connor.

[Sarah MacLean]

Sure.

[Adriana Herrera]

I have 1 80s movie villain. Controversial.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay, I'm ready.

[Adriana Herrera]

Jack Nicholson as the Joker in Batman.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yes. This town needs an enema.

[Adriana Herrera]

Chaotic.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

Closes down the map for you, then destroys it, which is a problem.

[Sarah MacLean]

Maybe just needs the love of a good woman.

[Adriana Herrera]

This is down the map for you. Beautiful dinner. Chaotic. Very unique style. Very unique style. Also, like, kind of. I mean, come on. It's Jack Nicholson. Sassy, like Jack Nicholson. I love me. I love Michael Keaton as Batman.

[Jennifer Prokop]

But that worked for you. Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

Always smiling.

[Sarah MacLean]

I'm with you. Of the Batman villains. I'm with you on that. I mean, except obviously Bane, but that's separate.

[Adriana Herrera]

It would have to be only that Joaquin Phoenix. Joker will not work for me.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Or. Or even the Heath Ledger.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. It was too scary. The Heath Ledger one was, like, a little too. Too much. Right? Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

All right. I'm picking up what you're putting down. Okay. I am going to go with a move. Another movie character. Danny Trejo as Machete.

[Sarah MacLean]

Like, Danny Trejo is anything.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Danny Trejo is anything. But this, to me, is peak Danny Trejo. Like, do you see that? Like, just like.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes.

[Jennifer Prokop]

They're like, we're gonna strap some more knives onto you. And he was like, all right, fine. Right. I just think that he is. Now I. I think. I feel like this is kind of a wrong one because, like, probably everyone thinks Danny Trejo was super Hot, right?

[Sarah MacLean]

Why?

[Jennifer Prokop]

He's so.

[Nikki Payne]

Why?

[Sarah MacLean]

I love him so.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I know. So I was kind of like, is this even count? Am I saying, like Heath Ledger? But you know, Danny Trejo, you know.

[Sarah MacLean]

He also owns a string of taco stores, so tacos made him even more attractive. What?

[Adriana Herrera]

That. I just said that just made him even more attractive.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right. Well, that's it. I'm kind of like. But like, yeah. I mean, he was so hot. But, like, for sure, you know? I don't know. So anyway, yeah, I was kind of like, will this counter? Everyone's gonna be like, well, of course, Danny Trejo. What do you mean? Convince me otherwise. Like, what? There is no but.

[Adriana Herrera]

I see it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, I see it. Okay. Yeah. I just think he's so hot. Like, just sexy. Like, he's not hot. He's sexy, right? Like, that man has magnetism. And the riz.

[Nikki Payne]

He's got the ribs. I see it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. That's it.

[Adriana Herrera]

Dani Trejo, where are you taking us next?

[Nikki Payne]

Nikki? Where am I taking you guys next? Sorry. I've been working. My portfolio is in themes. It's thematic. Okay? So my next theme is, like, goofy, skinny, like, hunks. Who could get it? Okay, so, like, these are like. I'll just show you my portfolio photos, for example. These are my.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I like how you like an archetype, right? You're like, here's an archetype. Let me give you several. Okay.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah. Because the thing is, once you understand what it is you get, you're just like, oh, of course.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You're not going to put a picture of Urkel up, are you?

[Nikki Payne]

Well, you know, Urkel is within the archetype. That's the thing.

[Adriana Herrera]

That's why I'm curious.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I think the voice is disqualifying there.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, the voice is. The voice is.

[Adriana Herrera]

And his personality as an adult now.

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, because Urkel.

[E]

Oh, my gosh.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay. Actual Goofy. Sorry.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Like the name of this category.

[Nikki Payne]

The name of the category, Goofy.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Now, wait a second.

[Sarah MacLean]

I'd like pause before we go any further. Can we probe on Goofy?

[Nikki Payne]

Okay, let's probe on Goofy, because.

[Sarah MacLean]

Tell me why Goofy is so hot, because I would love to hear you out on this.

[Nikki Payne]

Have you ever seen Goofy get slightly praised by a woman that he finds beautiful?

[Sarah MacLean]

Have you ever seen he. Like a Wooga. His heart, eyes.

[Nikki Payne]

Absolutely. He just starts curling his ear twirls around himself. Gosh. And he's just like, falls apart. It's such a praise king. And, you know, like, all you have to do is tell Goofy that You're doing a good job. And he will just go to town. He won't stop.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That's true. That's true.

[Sarah MacLean]

He's a pleaser.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay. You've convinced me. I was like, no way. But now I'm like, I got this.

[Sarah MacLean]

That is enough. Okay.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

Thank you.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay. Why?

[Sarah MacLean]

These are important moments. The hear me out moment.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes. Also, obviously, Napoleon Dynamite is in this list of I can't.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yes.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No, you lost me right there. You literally. There is nothing you could say that.

[Adriana Herrera]

Would make me think that was Hotelman.

[Nikki Payne]

Give me all of your arguments of this game. Okay? The point is, hear me. Okay?

[Sarah MacLean]

Hear me. I'm ready.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'm hearing you.

[Nikki Payne]

I'm ready. Here are a couple of things about Napoleon. It's like, I personally, when I was young, I may have watched this several hundred times. I did find him cool. Like, I found him, for a minute, unironically cute. You know what I mean? And there's just something about just curly hair, big lips, like, just the combo. I just find his face incredibly goofy. But also, you know that once he, Once he's in there.

[E]

Sure.

[Nikki Payne]

Like, his face, he's locked in. I just feel like his face turns, like, when he's in there. Like, he's like the concentration face.

[Sarah MacLean]

It's like a Benedict Cumberbatch thing where, like, if you look at it long enough, it's attractive. Is that what we're dealing with?

[Adriana Herrera]

Listen. No, he's not hot as an adult. Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

He's hot.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, like Neville.

[Sarah MacLean]

What's his name?

[Nikki Payne]

Is he hot now?

[Adriana Herrera]

Yes. John.

[Nikki Payne]

Grown up John.

[Sarah MacLean]

What?

[Adriana Herrera]

John Heater Header. I don't know. It's two E's. Sometimes. You know, this language is confusing to me, John.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, now we're all Googling.

[Sarah MacLean]

We're all Googling.

[Nikki Payne]

Now I'm Googling.

[Adriana Herrera]

He's got a lot of teeth, but, you know, there's a lot of.

[Sarah MacLean]

Wait, I don't think this is him.

[Nikki Payne]

He's got a lot of teeth.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, he just kind of cute.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Him.

[Sarah MacLean]

He's cute.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah. I would, I would do it. I would do it. Napoleon Dynamite.

[Adriana Herrera]

All right. I, I, I, I don't, I, I don't disagree.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay. And last in this list, this is honestly my number one. Okay.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Building up to it.

[Nikki Payne]

This is. Yeah. Dougie Doug from Cool Runnings. When I tell you I love this.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Man, I'm there for that. Yeah, sure.

[Nikki Payne]

In fact, I think the first thing that I noticed about my own husband was that he looked like Dougie Doug. And I was like, oh, we could we could.

[Jennifer Prokop]

All right, I got that.

[Nikki Payne]

He's just has this goofy.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Tell me what you know about bobsled, sir.

[Nikki Payne]

Exactly. He had this really short lived show on, like CBS with Bill Cosby. We don't talk about that, but like.

[Sarah MacLean]

Different kind of thing.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah.

[Nikki Payne]

And I was like, who is this goofy king? And I just. If he's just tripping all over himself and a little socially inept and thinks he's cooler than he is, I'm kind of there. Like, I'm there.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah, I'm there.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You guys, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

I love this. I agree on all three counts. Your honor.

[Nikki Payne]

Your honor. I married him.

[Sarah MacLean]

This week's episode of Faded Mates is sponsored by Kate Cole, author of Under Construction. I love this whole series idea, Jen.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It is all about women in trades. And in this book we have Avery, who is a master mason, which I just love. In love with already. Right? So it's two years into the rehabilitation of the historic Taylor building, but this project has been basically a nightmare. Delays, cost overruns, and all Avery wants is to see, like, the end of this project. Right? She doesn't want to be in the site trailer anymore. And she definitely does not want to be spending any more time with pesky project manager Kent Armstrong. Right. She's a team player. She knows what she's doing. So why is this man constantly, like, up in her business? Right? Like, she knows how to be a stonemason. So anyway, Kent is a buttoned up budget boy with a stony facade. I love it. I love it. Listen, meet the puns in the description makes me realize that I'm probably gonna like a lot of the banter in this book. So. He's impossible to please. He's a scold. He's constantly going on about the cost and the budget and the overruns. He just wants to talk about the schedules. He just doesn't want to listen to her and what's gonna make the job finally, like, come to a close. So Kent and Avery are going to meet. Toe to toe. They are. It's got this a real enemies to lovers vibe. But then, I don't know, she discovers his sexy tattoos under his shirt sleeves.

[Adriana Herrera]

Right?

[Jennifer Prokop]

And so all of the, like, delicious tension and banter and I'm assuming a lot of jokes about things being stony and hard. I bet. Better.

[Sarah MacLean]

Anyway, if you also would like to read about this man with a stony facade and other stoney things and also about a woman in trades, then Under Construction by Kate Cole is very Likely for you. You can make it your first 2005 read right now in print or eBook.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Your 2005 or 2025. Sarah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, you can make it your first 2025 read right now in print or ebook. And if your podcasting app supports it, you can click on the chapter title right now to be taken to buy the book. Thanks to Kate Cole for sponsoring this week's episode. All right, I would like to go to. To another threesome. If I. I'd like to propose a threesome.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure.

[Adriana Herrera]

Please. Let's do it.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay, so I want to return to the Marvel Universe for just a moment, please. I would like to propose the Collector, played by Benicio Del Toro. Hang on and wait. Hang on. I gotta get my photos. And I would like to propose. I did not know this until today, but I had two people from the Marvel Universe who I wanted to put on my. Hear me out. Listen. And they happen to be brothers, which is canon. I'd like to propose a Laura Lee James style threesome with the Collector.

[Adriana Herrera]

That's illegal in a lot of places.

[Sarah MacLean]

The grand master.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay, I think I need photo evidence here. Sorry, I did.

[Sarah MacLean]

I gave it to you. The grandmaster played by Jeff Goldblum.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Jeff Goldblum, Sure.

[Adriana Herrera]

Listen. Anytime. My favorite pansexual.

[Sarah MacLean]

So this is my proposition. I did not know they were brothers in canon, but they are, apparently, according to the Internet.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, like, people ship those brothers from that one show.

[Sarah MacLean]

I mean, like, they don't have to touch.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yes.

[Adriana Herrera]

From Supernatural.

[Jennifer Prokop]

From Supernatural. Yeah. And the first time I found out that's what the ship was, I was like, excuse me.

[Sarah MacLean]

I'm saying in the threesome, I'm in the middle.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure, of course.

[Sarah MacLean]

M, F, M. I'm keeping it legal.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, sure.

[Adriana Herrera]

Okay. This is a sidebar. But, like, have you ever heard Venetia del Toro speaking in Spanish? He. He's a completely different person. No, it's not sexy. He sounds like. It's like how. Like, like, you know, how like Penelope Cruz in. In English sounds like a chipmunk, but in Spanish, it's like a sultry goddess.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, Turtles.

[Adriana Herrera]

The opposite. She's like, husky voice. And in Spanish, it sounds like John, Louisiana, with a higher voice.

[Nikki Payne]

No.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay, then. No, I have not.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, me neither. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna send you a video. But like.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay, but wait, because when he. Like, but as the Collector, he's.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Wait, but you also.

[Adriana Herrera]

He's very hot since manager is just like.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That's so hilarious. Again, I feel like I've once Again, fallen down the rabbit hole of. Everybody thinks this hot, but John Leguiziamo in Romeo plus Juliet as Tibble.

[Sarah MacLean]

John Leguizamo is adorable.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So, so hot. I mean, as Tibble so. Well, I mean, obviously, yeah, everybody, but that's it. Everybody in that movie, you're like, oh, let me talk about this movie where a couple people are hot. And if you said Romeo plus Juliet, I would be like, are you? Of course they were all hot. That's the whole point.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

You know why I think John Leguizamo was his cutest? Was in that iconic movie that is completely forgotten out to Wong Fu. Thanks for everything.

[Sarah MacLean]

You guys. John Leguizamo is in one of my very favorite movies ever, and no one has seen it. It's like I dreamed this movie up. It's called A Pyromaniac's Love Story. Has anybody here seen this movie? No.

[Adriana Herrera]

No.

[Sarah MacLean]

You can't find it. And it is perfect. So if you get a chance, you should, because it's darling.

[Jennifer Prokop]

All right, everybody, again, I feel that this is a very time sensitive one, and that is someone I did not think was hot when they were young, but I think is very hot now. Maybe I should have talked about it back when we were doing Daddy, which is Eminem.

[Sarah MacLean]

A shocking turn of events, you guys.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Eminem is so hot now.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, is that possible?

[Jennifer Prokop]

He was not hot when he was younger. And he is like my. He is a little older than me and he's like an elder state. There you go.

[Sarah MacLean]

This is your type. He's, like, short.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So listen, he. No, no, listen. No, listen. No, no, listen. Yeah, you don't roll with these white guys. But in the late. Their LL Cool J has new album now. LL Cool J again, everyone thinks is hot. I saw him in concert once at Lollapalooza. And I've got to tell you, I have never in my entire life, and we are big concertgoers, seen someone on stage with the kind of fucking Riz that LL Cool J has. It was insane. But these two have this new song. I think it's called Murdergram. Sure. And I have watched this video like I'm 16 only. It's two men my age, and it is he. LL Cool J, @ one point, like, he, like, takes off his jacket and you see his biceps. And I was like, not. All right, I'm gonna watch this again. And fucking Eminem is very hot. And I was like, who. Who am I?

[Sarah MacLean]

It's a strange turn of events, you.

[Adriana Herrera]

Know, I have the same issue with Snoop. I Find Snoop in his older.

[Jennifer Prokop]

These are our face.

[Adriana Herrera]

Just drop. That's dead. Yeah, he, to me, is just so sexy. And he was always. I mean, to be fair, it was like him and Dre, and Dr. Dre was sure. Right My guy.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

So it was, you know, hard to kind of focus on Snoop, who was over there, like, just being, like, the goofy sidekick. But now I just think he just looks. Oh, my God, so handsome. His aura is funny.

[Jennifer Prokop]

His energy is. His vibes are insane. Amazing.

[Sarah MacLean]

Just. He. That's it. He's like. He's, like, calm now. Like, he's, like, evolved and, like. Ah. You just. You want to learn all of the things he's learned. He's just about the Olympics.

[Adriana Herrera]

But I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna lie. Like, when they did the super bowl halftime show and Eminem came out, I was like, oh, okay, Eminem. I see it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'm gonna send you this video surprise, and you're gonna be like, surprise. How awkward for me.

[Adriana Herrera]

It does sound weird, but, you know, we all do.

[Sarah MacLean]

It's fine.

[Nikki Payne]

Hey. Hey.

[Sarah MacLean]

Adriana, I think you're next.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

I only have one left, so to me, it's more like this is going back to just romance novel basics.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

Just, like, certain settings that. I feel like we have kind of lost the, like, energy and the. Because there are certain settings that lend themselves to a certain kind of story. And I feel, because a lot of the times we did those really problematic and racistly, we've lost. Racistly is not a word. I know, but we all knew it works. We were there, how we did it. But I would love to bring back not the shake, per se, but, like, more romance is, like, in the desert, but, like, in a desert where there's, like, fancy tents.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yes, sure.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

And, like, a man in, like, kind of, like, you know, maybe. And, like, he's mysterious. I'm like, you know, just like a businesswoman traveling in Dubai, and I end up, you know, in this, like, man's tent. Like, I feel like we can bring that into the modern times and not make it problematic.

[Nikki Payne]

This woman traveling is bring back the shake, but minus bring back the shake.

[Jennifer Prokop]

The vibe, the hot.

[Sarah MacLean]

She wants the, like, silk pillows in the tent in the desert, like, a hardboard, wearing, like, breathable.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I will say, like. Like in the English Patient right at the end where they're, like, flying over the desert, and it's like. I mean, I got you. It is hot.

[Adriana Herrera]

You know what I mean? Like, I just want that because it's Such, like, it's. It, like. And it could be like, hey, you know, I'm like a businesswoman. I'm in the business lounge in on the airport, and I start talking to this man, and he says, do you want to come over to my place? And his place is this fucking, like, tent mansion in the desert.

[Sarah MacLean]

A tent mansion.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I mean, listen, if they can have ice hotels in Norway, why can't they have tent mansions?

[Sarah MacLean]

Yes, they can. Can.

[Jennifer Prokop]

They can't.

[Adriana Herrera]

I would love the vibe because I feel like those shake romances were, like, problematic, but, like, the setting itself.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes, agree.

[Adriana Herrera]

So that is one of the. Hear me out here. Can we do it without making it racist?

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah. Can we do it? Can we try?

[Sarah MacLean]

We could try Just a businesswoman traveling in Dubai.

[Adriana Herrera]

Just try it out, guys. Let's just try.

[Sarah MacLean]

Nikki Payne. I have some creatures, so I'm gonna hold them. If you have humans, I'm willing to hear it.

[Nikki Payne]

My last and final category is called Jeremy Irons in Every Way.

[Adriana Herrera]

Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

So, yeah, let me just.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure.

[Nikki Payne]

Say so Scarlet. Absolutely.

[Adriana Herrera]

To Scar to start.

[Jennifer Prokop]

We're like. We're just starting.

[Nikki Payne]

Scar. French Lieutenant's woman. Hell, yeah. Obviously.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Listen, I love that book so much.

[Nikki Payne]

Alfred. Alfred, like, today Alfred.

[Sarah MacLean]

What about in that movie where he plays the Newport killer?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Some men just like to watch the world burn.

[Nikki Payne]

Oh, my God.

[Adriana Herrera]

Damage.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes.

[Sarah MacLean]

Jeremy.

[Nikki Payne]

Every which Way But Loose is the name of this category. Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

But also Loose.

[Adriana Herrera]

Jeremy Irons.

[E]

I'm.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yes, please.

[Sarah MacLean]

That's great. Oh, look at that. Look at that black and white.

[Adriana Herrera]

Dirty, dirty man.

[Sarah MacLean]

Is that a pencil sketch? No, it's a photograph. Look at that handsome man.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, Jeremy.

[Sarah MacLean]

Anyway, he's wearing a leather apron.

[Nikki Payne]

Oh, my gosh.

[Sarah MacLean]

But, yes, I feel the same way. He's. It's Jeremy Irons. John Malkovich.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Daniel Day Lewis has a little bit of this as he's aging.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. This is a bit of an aside, but do you. Me and Regina were talking about this because we were getting this weird vibe from ourselves. I was watching. I was giving myself a weird vibe because I was watching Outlander, and that man who plays the villain, he has those, like, long dimples. He's also in the crane. I said, I know I am supposed to dislike him as a character.

[Adriana Herrera]

I had to stop because you were.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Like, I'm doing it wrong.

[Nikki Payne]

I was like, I'm doing wrong right now.

[Sarah MacLean]

You're going dark romance. Full dark romance.

[Adriana Herrera]

You were going full dark romance.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes. I was not proud of who I am when I don't know what it is about his craggy face. I'm just like, what is happening to me? I just. I had to stop. I was like.

[Adriana Herrera]

I must admit, I haven't watched the show.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, yeah, don't watch it. Don't. Don't watch it. Yeah. Like, John, books. Yeah. Read the books, because if you're broken, that character will activate something unpleasant. So, like, don't. Don't do it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay. All right. That's good advice. It's true. Yeah, it's true. He does wrong, and you're probably right to save yourself. You could tell you were going down the wrong path.

[Nikki Payne]

I was. I was absolutely. Why is he such.

[Adriana Herrera]

I mean, I've read the book.

[Sarah MacLean]

Sucks.

[Nikki Payne]

He has chemistry, though, with, like, everything.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, he really does.

[Sarah MacLean]

That's what. That's what it takes to do, be a good villain. That's Jeremy Irons.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

And John Malkovich. Why do we like them so much? Why do we like him so much?

[Jennifer Prokop]

The guy who played Hans Gruber in Die Hard.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah. Yes.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I mean, these men just like the. The charisma. It's like, how can their bodies even hold it all in?

[Sarah MacLean]

I know.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a whole other category. Alan Rickman, Every which Way Balloon.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Alan Rickman.

[Adriana Herrera]

Rickman. Five ways.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. Right.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yes.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay. Is it my turn or. No? Sarah, you have animals. I have an animal, but I saw the person.

[Sarah MacLean]

I have animals. I have monsters. Really?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, I kind of do, too, actually.

[Sarah MacLean]

Same energy. You go.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No, no. I have a person left. I have a person left.

[Sarah MacLean]

I have one person who is also a monster.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Both. My person is just a person. My person is perfect. Everybody and my person. Okay. Everyone knows I love the wnba. And the thing about the WNBA is that there are some unbelievably beautiful people. Angel Reese.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Dijonay Harrington is. Honestly, I don't even know how the world can hold in her beauty. It is insane. But my all time favorite WNBA player is Courtney Williams. Now I am.

[Sarah MacLean]

Photo, please.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I am going to give you an Instagram post to this one.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Because you may not be familiar, but Courtney Williams is my fave. And here's the thing. She played for the sky for a season, which is like our first. We have season season tickets. And I just. Her energy on the court is amazing. So in the. Yeah, she's.

[Sarah MacLean]

She's Jennifer.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No, listen. No. So here's the thing, though.

[Sarah MacLean]

Like, you've picked a beautiful, amazing person.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No, she. Well, she's a professional basketball player. But here's the thing. One of my favorite moments in this Year's finals, because now she plays for the links. And I will send this up. We'll put this in show notes. So there's this. They. I think it was game four.

[Sarah MacLean]

She tries.

[Jennifer Prokop]

She goes up and shoots for three. And she couldn't. She didn't make it. And she. But then she gets the rebound, right? And so she makes. And then she literally, like, makes. And this is like the. The. I'm gonna take a screenshot of this one photo so you can tell what I'm talking about. So anyway, she makes then a three. She literally, like, you guys, shoots it and falls like she's off kilter when she makes the shot, and it lands and she gets back up, and she just, like, was like, oh. And she was like. And it was like, the hottest thing I've ever seen.

[Sarah MacLean]

So it's Courtney Williams in this exact moment.

[Adriana Herrera]

Courtney Williams.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I mean, all of Courtney Williams is an amazing thing to behold.

[Adriana Herrera]

I mean, I don't know why it is that you think you need to come. You know, I like women.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah, yeah, No, I know.

[Jennifer Prokop]

But I'm just saying her vibes are amazing, and I love her so much.

[Sarah MacLean]

This is just your way of sneaking in? Wnba.

[Adriana Herrera]

I just wanted to take this hot woman into the conversation.

[Nikki Payne]

Which I would have also.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You know what's amazing, though? Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

Martin.

[F]

Sure.

[Jennifer Prokop]

He's so cute. Okay, wait, here's the thing. You should go check out her Instagram, because she is. She just got engaged to her longtime girlfriend. And it was very cute because she, like, got it all together and, like, you know, had the ring and everything was adorable. But, yeah, I'm super into Courtney Williams. I love her so much. Here's the part that's really amazing, and somebody had told me this, but I didn't really know. I'd not seen the evidence with my eyes until today, which is back in the day, like, at the. At the WNBA draft last year, if you were more butch, you could show up more butch, right? But they used to make these women, like, dress. And there's a picture of Courtney Williams from when she was drafted in, like, with long, straight hair, Like, I mean, I'm sure it was a wig and, like, a dress and, like, heels. And I was literally like, wait, who the fuck is that? And I just really also feel happy that Courtney Williams can now be this Courtney Williams and be the Courtney Williams.

[Nikki Payne]

She was meant to be.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes. Yes. So anyway, her. She is one of my favorite players to watch. I love her. Her. So Courtney Williams, everybody.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay. Talking about the NBA on faded mates. We call it the NBA. That's the mnba. The other one. Okay, well, I'm gonna give you my person who is also a monster, because I only approve of. I only want to have. Hear me out about this person while in, like, evil form. And that is Willow from Buffy.

[Jennifer Prokop]

But the evil one, Evil Willow. Okay, Willow.

[Sarah MacLean]

Evil Willow.

[Adriana Herrera]

Which Evil Willow?

[Sarah MacLean]

I'm putting her in the chat with Black Eyes.

[Adriana Herrera]

Like, the bad. The bad one from when she has.

[Sarah MacLean]

To go to Black Veins. Black Eyes. Evil Willow.

[Adriana Herrera]

Okay, okay, okay. I still. I know what you're saying.

[Sarah MacLean]

Bored now.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That. Yeah, sure. That was. That was hot. I got that.

[Sarah MacLean]

I. I think for me, that's not Evil Willow.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No, that is Courtney William back and talking. But, like, do you see how crazy that is? Okay, Evil Willow. I will admit I felt like the black veins were not too much. Too much.

[Sarah MacLean]

Too much for you. Well, you're probably not gonna like my last two, then. Okay.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Am I.

[Sarah MacLean]

Is everybody else done? Is it just Monsters show?

[Jennifer Prokop]

I have a monster.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So, baby, I should go.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Which is. Hold on, let me. I have them ready to go in my.

[Adriana Herrera]

Freaked me out.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, the black eyes were a little freaky. For sure.

[Sarah MacLean]

See? I'm fine. She just needs the love of a good woman.

[Nikki Payne]

She does.

[F]

Okay.

[Adriana Herrera]

I mean. Agreed.

[Jennifer Prokop]

All right.

[Sarah MacLean]

This is my solution for all monsters. They just need the love of a good woman.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Dark Romans Unprepared for your Hear me out.

[Nikki Payne]

To be objectively hot, but please continue.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay, Hear me out.

[Adriana Herrera]

Oh, the hippopotamus.

[Jennifer Prokop]

A full size rampaging hippo. Because this is like the. The opposite.

[Adriana Herrera]

Hippos are like a pig hippo.

[Sarah MacLean]

Or this is a real homoth in the chat there, I think.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Here's what I'm thinking. If Pete Buttigieg is like, one vibe you could take into the century, here is another one.

[Sarah MacLean]

A rampaging hippo.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This thing will fucking kill you.

[Adriana Herrera]

Those teeth will tear up a person in one hippo.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, no, deadly.

[Adriana Herrera]

Vicious.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Vicious.

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, and you know, that is a mad hippo.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No, that hippo is gonna carry it. Yeah. I was like, this hippo's gonna kill you.

[Adriana Herrera]

Those are the wasps of the African savannah. They attack unprovoked.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Okay. They don't need you to even provoke them to do this. So this is hippo on a Tuesday.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This is a true story.

[Sarah MacLean]

Adriana just generally giving a concerned statement about hippo.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, I live in Chicago, so calm down, everybody. Now, here I understand. And here's how I know this is true. In when little romance was little, we Lived in Seattle for, like, a year and a half. And, you know, when you have little kids, you go to the zoo all the time because he loved elephants, and they had a baby elephant there. And so he would say, n N. And that meant, take me to see the elephants, and we would take him. But I had a friend who, like, had somebody who, like, worked at the zoo. And apparently before you get a job at the zoo, they take you around on a zoo tour, and they basically are like, here's how long you will last if you fall into this enclosure and hippo enclosure, they're like, you're already dead. Now, one time we were there, and there were a couple hippos in the enclosure, and all the moms and the kids and the strollers, all that bullshit at the zoo, right? And for whatever reason, these hippos were pissed at each other. And one of them opened its mouth like that and ran straight at the other one and let out a sound like I've never heard before. And let me tell you.

[Sarah MacLean]

Is it low? Is it high? What does it sound like?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Terror. So then what happens is it's just quiet. Like. Like you could hear a watching. Yeah, right. All the kids, all the. It's just quiet. And then all of a sudden, every baby started wailing. Like, they knew. They knew that we had brought them somewhere dangerous, and they wanted us to know that we were doing it wrong. And I will never forget it. Like, I will never. It was just like, the quiet, and then it was like every kid was just like, what the.

[Nikki Payne]

And that feeling.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. That I would like to. That and Pete Buttigieg together that I'm trying to bring into 2025.

[Adriana Herrera]

2025. I get that. I see that. I see bringing that energy to 2025 might be.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'm gonna open my mouth, and terror is gonna come out.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay.

[Sarah MacLean]

Amazing.

[Jennifer Prokop]

All right. That's it.

[Sarah MacLean]

All right.

[Adriana Herrera]

I love that for us.

[Nikki Payne]

I do, too.

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, it is a romance podcast, so somebody had to bring a dragon. So I am bringing Smaug the dragon from Lord of the Way of the Rings, who is objectively sexy, also has. What is that?

[Nikki Payne]

The rust red one?

[Sarah MacLean]

It's the one. Yeah. On the horde.

[Adriana Herrera]

Sure.

[Sarah MacLean]

Like, I mean, listen, I said I dropped the photo. He's there with his horde. He's voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch. I will take him with the voice. But, like, this is a hot dragon. This is a dragon. What?

[Nikki Payne]

Who is this diva?

[F]

Right?

[Adriana Herrera]

Right. I mean, just sitting on her gold.

[Sarah MacLean]

Just sitting on gold, being awesome. Oh, so sure.

[Adriana Herrera]

I see it.

[Sarah MacLean]

I mean, I just want. I just feel like we needed to have a dragon in the mix. Jen's still dropping Courtney Williams picture just.

[Jennifer Prokop]

As, like, a little present for Adrianna. Okay. You know what I like about this dragon picture is, is that they were nice enough to put a tiny little human in the foreground so we can get a sense of the magnificence.

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, that's a hobbit, I think, of.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This creature, not a hobbit. Yeah, still.

[Sarah MacLean]

So, yeah, no, this is a. This is a dragon who is not concerned about the affairs of human people.

[Adriana Herrera]

He's just not at all enjoying himself.

[Sarah MacLean]

So there it is. And then my final pick, and everybody's gonna think it's for a reason that it's not for. Is Venom.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, sure.

[Sarah MacLean]

Not human.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, like Venom. Yeah, Venom.

[Nikki Payne]

The monster Venom.

[Adriana Herrera]

When he turns again, you'll get Tom Hardy.

[Sarah MacLean]

Well, it's. I see everybody thinks about that. And listen, that's. That's a gift with purchase. But my point is that I am. One of my most favorite Twitter moments. Is that right when they were promoting Venom for the first time, there were all those, like, there was the trailer. And Venom has a very impressive tongue, everybody.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

And I replied to someone about. And I made a tongue joke. And then I'm dropping this in the chat too, because I kept it as a screenshot all these years later. And Sony replied to me, oh, my gosh.

[Jennifer Prokop]

With.

[Sarah MacLean]

With just eyeballs. Because I made a tongue joke and dropped the Venom tongue picture.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Hilarious.

[Sarah MacLean]

And listen, all I'm saying is he's funny and clever and obviously knows what to do with his tongue.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Got a great sense of humor.

[Nikki Payne]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sony loves his little person.

[Adriana Herrera]

That is a long time.

[Sarah MacLean]

It really is. And I mean, I'm not. I'm not opposed to it, is what I'm saying. Hear me out, everyone.

[Nikki Payne]

Hear me out.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You also like that. That CM Nos Costa book where it was the Mothman.

[Sarah MacLean]

Mothman. Where it rolls out like a Fruit loop.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Fruit roll up front.

[Sarah MacLean]

A fruit roll up. I'm sorry I always say fruit loop.

[Jennifer Prokop]

But we got you.

[Nikki Payne]

I honestly, I saw the vision.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You knew.

[Sarah MacLean]

Thank you. Thank you very much. Well, everybody, I think we've made a really lovely cake here tonight.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Before we go, I would maybe perhaps we could talk about some serious business about cowboys and westerns and I would really like that.

[F]

Right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Why don't you tell us about unbound pot, everybody.

[Sarah MacLean]

Hear me out. Cowboys.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Hear me out. Cowboys.

[Nikki Payne]

Cowboys, cowhands, vaqueros. We got em.

[Sarah MacLean]

Tell us about your brilliant podcast, you.

[Nikki Payne]

Guys, Unbound is a podcast that I'm, like, unprepared.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I was like, how come you both are frozen?

[Sarah MacLean]

Everybody's so quiet.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I was like, time for the elevator pitch, everybody.

[Nikki Payne]

Here's like, okay, so I have to, like, switch over from Venom's tongue.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay. I could be, like, the Marlboro man and, like, you know what I mean, who I'm ashamed of. I was always like, wow, the Marlboro man was hot.

[Sarah MacLean]

Also the one from X Files. Both Marlboro Men.

[Adriana Herrera]

Marlboro man could get it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, right? I mean, and then you think, like, he. His tongue probably was, like, licking an ashtray, but.

[Adriana Herrera]

But disgusted that he died of cancer, of course.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'm. I'm sure.

[Sarah MacLean]

I think so. Or at least that's the lore. All right, Unbound.

[Nikki Payne]

Unbound. Adriana and I have a podcast. And what do we do? We talk about romances, new and old, from a perspective of bipoc females. We discuss. I feel like I need script because, like, we talk about. Let me. Let me find, like, a.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, season one was all about, like, the Western, right?

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, it was all about the west, but it was all about, like, how we. How we have found the west. And, like, we just kind of deconstructed every single myth and, like, why that myth was there, and then just kind of, like, turned it on its head a little bit, and we found really cool romance novels that did the same.

[Sarah MacLean]

And you had guests. Tell us about some of your guests.

[Adriana Herrera]

Okay, we had Beverly Jenkins.

[Nikki Payne]

Beverly. The. Beverly Jenkins. We had a influencer who had read her first Western ever and wanted to tell us about it. Yeah. First Western ever. She was like, why would I read a Western? Why would I read a black Western? And then she reads it and she's like, oh, my God, I get it now. Thinking.

[Adriana Herrera]

Of Black.

[Nikki Payne]

We talked to Regina Black and we talked about his romance. Political. Right. We talked. I mean, this was very apropos. Yeah. And we talked with. I feel like we had way more guests than this.

[Adriana Herrera]

We had, like, a Bridgerton expert when we did Queen Charlotte.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, fun.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes. When we did Queen Charlotte, we had Sarah, and she's, like, on the BBC beat for, like, all, like, media that is British. And we just had ourselves a good time just breaking down, like, some behind the scenes stuff from Bridgerton also. It was great. That was a great episode.

[Sarah MacLean]

Amazing.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So is that season wrapped up then, like, western season or like, what's. What's. What's next?

[Nikki Payne]

The western season is wrapped up, and next season we Are diving into the broad and ubiquitous category of whiteness in romance. What that means plenty of levels, plenty.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Of material for you to work.

[Sarah MacLean]

Where will you get your material?

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, how would we. How would we do it?

[G]

So.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, there's probably only, like, one of each of those in any store.

[Adriana Herrera]

Exactly.

[Jennifer Prokop]

We already have our white romance author this season. Sorry.

[Nikki Payne]

We're just. Just want to address it from as many angles as we did as we can. And we're really excited about, like, what this means for unpacking. Desirability. How we talk about desirability. How we talk about what makes a hero good. What makes a hero and a heroine, like, worthy and interracial. Romance is like. We have a lot of tea.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That sounds fun.

[Sarah MacLean]

And when will that. When will that happen? Season two, you do so much work leading up so much research. So much.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yes. The spring.

[Sarah MacLean]

So you can head over and listen to unbound Pod right now. And you can listen to the western episode. Hey, there's only six.

[Jennifer Prokop]

How many were in season one? Five or six episodes about the western, Right? Was it six?

[Adriana Herrera]

No, I have six.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Six.

[Nikki Payne]

Okay, we have six.

[Sarah MacLean]

So if people are not sure about westerns, how would you hear them out? How would you tell them to hear you out about Westerns?

[Nikki Payne]

Oh, I would tell.

[Adriana Herrera]

It's very gay. It's very black.

[Nikki Payne]

Yeah, I was gonna say it's very, very gay. It's very black. It was also a space where a lot of people were able to be much freer than they could be outside of the confines of the East. And so people are actually able to kind of become in these really cool and big ways in the west in ways that, you know that. That's why I still love a western story. Because these characters are always becoming, like, who they really can be as opposed to who they're supposed to be. Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

It's a blank canvas, like, literally and figuratively, that.

[Nikki Payne]

That.

[Jennifer Prokop]

See, there you go. You did it.

[Nikki Payne]

We did it. We did it. We gotta get up. We gotta get up a. A pitch. You gotta get a.

[Adriana Herrera]

We have one. We just haven't talked about it in, like, three months.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It is easy to get out of practice.

[Nikki Payne]

Trust you.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I know y'all.

[Sarah MacLean]

This was so fun. I knew it would be. I knew it would be the best group. And thank you so much for coming and asking us to hear you out and being with us on New Year's Eve. I have some thoughts to think.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'll bet some of these to a Dan Connor.

[Adriana Herrera]

Sit down. Have to sit with yourself.

[Sarah MacLean]

Dan Connor is gonna really sit with me for a while.

[Nikki Payne]

You can sit with me all night, baby.

[Sarah MacLean]

Do you understand?

[Adriana Herrera]

You know what? I've almost said it was another. Another character that is iconic of his that would. I would totally, like, be like, hear me out. It's the character he plays in the Big Lebowski.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, I could see that.

[Sarah MacLean]

Walter.

[Adriana Herrera]

Walter.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, Walt. Really unhinged.

[Nikki Payne]

Incredibles. Is it John Goodman?

[Sarah MacLean]

Mr. Incredible? Is John Goodman.

[Nikki Payne]

Is he. Is he Mr. Incredible? No way.

[E]

No.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Somebody better look it up.

[Nikki Payne]

It seems like he would be.

[Sarah MacLean]

Now. We can't leave it. We can't leave it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I was.

[Sarah MacLean]

Okay, I will tell my Mr. My incredible story, which is that I live in New York City, and I was called for jury duty, and Holly Hunter was also called for jury duty at the same time. And we were in Voir Deer together, and she was sitting two rows in front of me. And of course, like, I didn't look at. Like, I hadn't looked at anybody. And so there was just this, like, very petite woman two rows in front of me. And when it got to her, she spoke, and I was like, that's Holly Hunter. Like, there's only one person with Mrs. And so. And the. The lawyer was like, well, what do you do for a living? And I was like, that's Holly Hunter. Everybody knows what she does for a living. And she was like, right now, she's like, I make films. Right now. I'm employed by the Disney Corporation. And he said, what are you doing there? And she said, I'm in a movie called the Incredibles. And he said, well, what character do you play? And she said, I play Mrs. Incredible. And literally everybody's like, that's Amazing, Hunter. Unfortunately, I was selected for that jury, and she was excused because she's Holly Hunter.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, also, she had to go break up that threesome between her husband and Edna to take care of her. It's gonna be a crime I committed.

[Sarah MacLean]

Oh, no. It's Craig T. Nelson. It's Coach.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Nikki Payne]

Bob is there, though. Yeah, I was there.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I was gonna say Casey Kasem. Anyway, and here are people on my list that I rejected. Casey Kasem just because that voice. I've never seen his face. I have no idea what that man looks like. Who knows?

[Adriana Herrera]

I don't know.

[Sarah MacLean]

Yes, he's also shaggy.

[Nikki Payne]

Shaggy. Also in the, you know, big dick Goofs category. Think about it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Bill Murray. Yeah, I was, like, part of the Jack Nicholson oeuvre.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah. Bill Murray.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Tommy Lee Jones.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Now we're in the.

[Sarah MacLean]

Like, objectively, everybody Wait, is he. He's very craggy.

[Nikki Payne]

He's craggy, but he's so sexy. He's got those jeans. Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

He's like in Danny Trejo's craggy face world. Yeah.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah.

[Sarah MacLean]

Listen, men. Men have it very easy is what I'm learning from this. Hear me out.

[Jennifer Prokop]

None of these men are like, what kind of retinol serum is best for me?

[Adriana Herrera]

No.

[Sarah MacLean]

All right, my friends, we are. We have. We have really done the job, I think. Yeah. Everybody, I hope 2025 brings you all a lot of joy.

[Jennifer Prokop]

If not, you're a big fucking hippo, Everybody.

[Sarah MacLean]

I hope we all, if not, bring that hippo energy through. But also, would you both please tell everybod what. Where they can find you on the Internet and also what they can read by you most recently or coming soon. Nikki, I'm going to call on you first.

[Nikki Payne]

My favorite place to hang out currently is Instagram, though I'm goofing off on Blue Sky a little bit. So I'm Nikki Payne, books on Instagram and my latest novel is Sex, Lies and Sensibility.

[Sarah MacLean]

Adriana.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yeah. Instagram is one of the places I'm at. Threads I'm on also a little bit, but I'm not on anything a lot. So my newsletter is also a good place to find me and you can find it on my website, adrianaromance.com and I have a book coming out in February, the last book in Las Leones series, A Tropical Rebel gets to duke that.

[Sarah MacLean]

And you're going on tour for it?

[Adriana Herrera]

Yes, I'll be in a few places.

[Sarah MacLean]

And we're gonna be together. When are we gonna be together?

[Adriana Herrera]

February 11th is gonna be. We're gonna do a panel in the red bodice with Joanna Shoot to talk about historical romance.

[Sarah MacLean]

So if you're on your calendar, everybody come out and see us.

[Nikki Payne]

Awesome. You should. I'm coming to D.C. on February 5th.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yes. I'm gonna be there with Christina Forest.

[Nikki Payne]

Yes.

[Adriana Herrera]

Yes. It'll be amazing. So, yeah, so that's what's happening. The last Leonas, Aurora and Apollo. And I hope people come and see for the tour.

[Jennifer Prokop]

But yeah, that's what I'm doing.

[Sarah MacLean]

I'm Sarah McLean. I'm here with my friend Jen Prokop. We are faded mates. You can listen to us every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts, visit us [e-mail] where you can read the brilliant show notes that Jen puts together. Absolutely. Every week. We also this year want to thank since it's the end of the year. It feels like it's time to do some thank yous. We want to thank our tremendous producer with without whom we would not have a podcast, Eric Mortenson. We want to thank every single one of you who joined us this year for the Fated States phone banks. Every one of you who has spent any time at all this year giving money to faded states or spending any time at all doing doing any of that election stuff. We did. It did move the needle. I promise. We want to thank every person on our Patreon, every person who's in the discord, who gives us great book reads, great book reviews, great recommendations. Every week you can join the Patreon at patreon.com/fated mates and I don't know, you guys. We just want to thank you. You've been with us. Many of you have been with us for many, many years. Some of you have been with us for one week. We hope if this was your first episode, we hope you'll stick with us. We try to make it this fun every time. And of course, don't forget that as a special New Year's Eve treat, Kayla Gross has offered up a few chapters of X's and O's her brand Spankin New and I Use Spankin specifically New Erotic Romance available now. So you can stay tuned for a special sample of that book in audio. Happy, Happy New Year, Magnificent Firebirds. We love you very, very much.

[E]

This book is dedicated to anyone who's.

[F]

Ever looked at a person in flannel holding an axe and said, yeah, I'd.

[G]

Let them split me in half. Author's Note Dear Spice Reader, Happy Holidays. This book is a high heat MMF Vanilla businessman meets lumber snacks snowed in holiday romance that's meant to be a fun escape from reality. If that's all you need to know, skip this note and go to chapter one. If you'd like to know more about what's in store for you, here's what you can expect inside these toy Play so much oral dominance, submission, bondage, rough sex, polyamorous relationships, primal play, fisting, sword crossing, humiliation, derogatory language, light discussion of the foster care system, and PTSD discussions of sexuality. If you'd like a full list of tropes and content warnings, please Visit my website, www.kaylagroth. now if you're still here, please enjoy my Fox, Little Lamb and their wolf. X.O.X.O. kayla Chapter 1 the Hunter I lick my chapped lips, the bite of frigid winter air freezing the fresh saliva as my heart thuds in my chest the night is eerily quiet, the newly fallen snow dampening the sounds of Mother Nature, requiring me to call upon every ounce of training ingrained in my body, so I have an element of surprise when I catch my prize snap. The heated blood pumping through my veins rushes straight to my cock and the corners of my mouth tug up. Gotcha, little lamb. I lighten my footsteps and even out my breathing, turning my head languidly toward the origin of the sound. She'd been doing so well until that little mess up. Now she's caught my attention and it will not waver. I'm a predator, a cunning fox ready to devour his meal, and she doesn't stand a chance.

[E]

Chapter 2 Nathan? Nathan, did you get my email? My head pops up to meet the blank stare of my manager, Kathy. She's got on an oversized white sweater that blends in with her pale skin. If she was standing against a white wall, you'd miss her. Scratch that, you'd see her red lipstick and that's it. Just red lips. Big, big, giant bright red lips that, when opened, micromanaged the shit out of me. Which one? The snide question is out of my mouth before I can stop it. Those stained red lips press together and I swear the pronounced blue vein on her forehead pulses like a worm. The one about the Newman presentation. I need the entire slide deck proofed again. It has typos on it. My jaw type. There aren't any typos on that fucking slide deck. I've proofed it near a million times. I've gone over it, Kathy. I promise. It's good to go. You didn't open my Last email from 4pm an exasperated sigh catches in my chest as I stare at the woman I'm certain is the devil in disguise. Her muddy brown eyes are narrowed and she doesn't blink as she waits for my answer. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her blink. Maybe she's a robot. You sent a different email this morning about the deck, I reiterate. I looked it over. I promise. It's good to go. Her lips press together so tightly all I can see is a thin red line. The action only makes the vein in her forehead pulse harder. I understand my pushback could get me fired, or at least warrant a warning. But I'm beyond caring. I'm tired, I'm overworked, and I should be on a Christmas vacation by now. But no. Instead I'm still here, stuck with Kathy the Grinch until she lets me leave. She crosses her arms over her chest. But you never emailed it back to me for a final proof. That's what the email was about and I went to see it. The slide deck needs to be perfect and you know that. Only I can find double spaces. You had two the last time I checked. My hand clenches around my mouse. I'm convinced this woman puts in double spaces just so she can chastise me. I was born after typewriter conventions were a thing, so I don't put double spaces after periods. Not to mention I told her verbally in passing that the deck was proofed and ready to go, but apparently she wasn't listening. Or she was. She's just doing this to be jerk. I swear, Kathy, the slide deck is perfect. I did my job. It's done. Her high heels tap on the floor like a petulant child and I think I can see steam coming out of her head. I'm your manager, Nathan. She huffs. You do what I ask. Please send me the current deck so I can look it over. You know I need to approve the changes. I lower my gaze from her heated one and glance at my watch. It's after six and three days before Christmas. I'd wanted to get on the road early to avoid holiday traffic, but clearly that's not happening. Kathy's still standing near my desk with her arms crossed and an expectant look on her face. For a split second I debate whether I should keep antagonizing her or not, but I'd rather get the hell out of here before she finds something else for me to do. I exhale a breath and open my email, finding the one she sent in at 4pm Among a slew of other emails from people asking me for stupid things that they 100% could do on their own. With a few more clicks, I attach the deck and send it to her. Okay, you have it. Kathy doesn't say thank you. Instead, she stalks back to her office without another word. I grit my teeth and take out my phone to text my older sister, Lindsay. Nate, I'm going to get in late tonight. I'll use the keypad outside to open your garage. Just leave the door inside unlocked.

[F]

Lindsay What? I thought you left already. Cass wanted to wait to do gingerbread houses with you.

[E]

I sigh, even more upset that I'm now going to disappoint my 6 year old niece because of my jerk of a manager. Kathy is Kathying poop emoji.

[F]

Just let me know when you're on your way. I've made up the guest room for you and drive safe. It started to snow about an hour ago and I think it's supposed to keep going.

[E]

I put new chains on my tires for that reason. I'll see you soon, okay?

[F]

Heart emoji.

[E]

Heart emoji.

[F]

Oh, and you should quit that soul.

[E]

Sucking job I read my sister's last text a few times. I've debated quitting my position at this marketing agency a lot over the last year, especially in the last month. I don't know what crawled up Kathy's butt, but she's been more of a twat than usual. Every time I talk to Lindsay about it, she tells me to get a new job. But the money is good, I get great benefits and the job makes my mom happy. I've also been working my way up the ladder the last couple of years to snag a director position and eventually be the boss of people instead of them being the boss of me. My email pings, taking me out of my thoughts. Of course it's from Kathy. Nobody's left in the office except for us, so she could have just told me what she had to say with an eye roll. I open the email to see. She says I missed another space. I swear to God this woman gets off on being this way. There's no way that was there when I sent it to her. It truly makes me wonder if she's doing it just to keep me here. Maybe she's lonely and wants company, but I'm not going to try to psychoanalyze my manager when all I want to do is leave. I delete the space she's highlighted, then save and send the doc back to her. Once I'm sure the email is fully sent, I begin to shut down my computer. I can answer the rest of my emails from my sisters if need be, but the office is closed all next week for the holidays and everyone is gone. I want to be gone too. Kathy can deal with it. I reach for the messenger bag I have tucked near the side of my desk and then take my suit coat off the back of my chair, standing to put it on. My stomach growls as I pack up, reminding me I haven't eaten since this morning. I'll have to hit up a drive thru on my way to Starlight Haven if I don't. I won't be eating until I get to my sister's since everything in her remote California mountain town closes early. Where do you think you're going? My head turns to find Kathy stalking toward me with gusto in her step. I should just not answer and walk out. But I'm too nice for that. I place my bag over my shoulder and grab my travel mug from my desk. Home, I lie, not wanting to divulge any of my personal life to this mad woman. I have something else I need you to look at. No. Kathy's eyes bug out of her head, and to be honest, I think mine do too. But I've had it, and I don't regret saying no. I should have been doing it for a long time now, but as Lindsay would say, I'm allergic to that word. I'm a people pleaser, especially with a dad who expected us to never say no and always follow the rules. I even had an ex call me a golden retriever once, always aiming to please, which I'm not saying is a bad thing. I do like to please, but sometimes I wish I could be a pit bull. Maybe it's time I started trying to act like one. Nathan, kathy says, that stupid vein on her forehead pulsing again. We aren't done yet. I need you to stay until 7. I hike my bag further up my shoulder, my fist clenching around my mug as my sister's voice enters my head. You should quit that soul sucking job. I'll have to tell Mr. Brintmore about this if you leave now, kathy adds. Our boss, Mr. Brentmoor, who isn't a bad boss per se, probably wouldn't care that I left, but I don't trust Kathy to tell the truth. Knowing her, she'd make it seem as if I was being hostile or not doing my job when in actuality I do too much. And it's not like I get paid overtime for all the evenings I've stayed late or mornings I've come in early I'm salaried. I take a step back as Kathy watches me carefully. Even though the exit is toward her, I don't want her to find my behavior threatening. I may not be a very large guy at 5 foot 9, but I do work out, and she's a tiny human. I've often questioned if she eats more than just protein shakes and bars. I need you to stay, Nathan. I take another couple of steps back, then walk toward the exit, giving her a wide berth. When our bodies are parallel. I pause to meet her confused glare. I'm not staying, Kathy. But I quit. Her mouth drops open and I don't wait for her to respond. I hasten my steps so I don't lose my nerve and try to take it back, pushing open the office doors as Kathy's eyes watch me leave. The cooler air from the hallway hits me and I suck in a calming breath, taking another step, then another, till I'm at the elevator that will take me to the parking garage. It isn't until the heavy doors slide shut that I let out a loud laugh. The noise springs free from my chest and bounces off the metal walls, echoing back in my ears. The joyful sound is foreign, but it feels good. Really good. Before I know it, I'm laughing in earnest, cackling even. I can't believe I just did that. I can't believe I quit my job. Holy shit. I quit my job. I quit my job. Fuck. Fucking fuck. I quit my job.

[F]

Chapter 3 the Prey My sly fox heard me. I knew the moment that twig snapped that he was onto me. And now I have no choice but to run again. My head darts to the left and then right, snow muddling my vision. It's coming down like crazy, but I love it. The cold flakes melt on my heated cheeks and collect on my lashes, only adding to the beauty and thrill of the moment. I take off as quietly as I can through the fresh snow as I pump my arms and lift my legs high so I don't trip. I know our property like the back of my hand, but so does the one hunting me. Even if I could mute the sound of me running and clear my footprints in the snow, he'd be able to track and find me. He always does. I come to an abrupt stop when I reach a fork in the powder covered trail. I debate my options, wondering which way I should go. I could go right and head to the old hunting cabin, but with the snow coming down, I'm not sure I'd make it that far. And if I'm being honest, I don't think I want to make it that far. I can hear you thinking, little lamb. The hair on the back of my neck rises and my nipples automatically tighten at the timbre of my hunter's deep and taunting voice. I have no idea how he snuck up behind me. I didn't hear him running after me, but that's what makes him my cunning fox and why I know I'll always lose this game. I take a step forward, finally hearing the snow crunch behind me. If you run again, no, I'll show you no mercy when I catch you, he warns. Hot arousal pools between my legs, and despite his taunt, I know him. I know he wants me to run. The corners of my lips pull up as images of what will occur when he catches me pop behind my frozen eyelids. I inhale the scent of winter damp earth, pine, and burning wood, soaking in the scenery for just a moment. The way the world has gone quiet from the falling snow makes what my fox and I are about to do far too dirty for such a pristine and beautiful setting. But that's part of the fun. I slowly turn my head over my shoulder, my long blonde and black streaked hair wet from snow and sweat. My hazel eyes connect with my hunter's cool blue ones, and in the dark evening light they look like two pools of haunting black. Who says you'll catch me? I taunt. He flashes me his white teeth, but I don't wait for his sly and mischievous smile to fully seat itself. I burst forward and take off to the left, weaving my way through incense cedar trees and pines while his amused and throaty chuckle follows behind me, telling me he'll make good on his threat. Which is exactly what I want.

[E]

Chapter 4 Nathan my sister wasn't kidding when she said it was snowing. When I left the office for the four hour drive to Starlight Haven, it was just about 45 degrees and raining, but as I started my ascent into the mountains, pure white flurries danced in the air and have only gotten heavier with every increase in altitude. The wipers frantically cut back and forth across my sedan's windshield. I should have gotten a Jeep or something better, but when I bought my car, my sister and mom hadn't yet moved to Starlight Haven, so I didn't foresee winter driving in the mountains in my future. It's also an El Nino year in California, so everything has been wetter, meaning we're set to get a lot of rain and snow this winter season. Good for people who love to hit the slopes, bad for people like me who only go into the mountains to see their family. And by the way, this snow is coming down. I have a feeling I'm going to be at my sister's for more than a week like I had originally planned. Not that I mind. Now that I have no job, it's not like I have anything to do but work out, maybe surf, drink a few beers with my friends, and of course start looking for a new job. I have a good amount in savings to live off for now, but it's not enough to last more than six months without an income. I express an audible Sigh. I turned 28 this year, and as I think about it now, my life is a little boring. Though by my own design, I've always been a focused person, someone who's worked hard and achieved the goals I set out for myself. I like the routine of a 9 to 5, the predictability of it. I like waking up, going to CrossFit, heading to work, then going home to my meal prep or to the bar to meet up with my friends. And sometimes, though it's rare these days, taking a woman home for the night. The last thought creates a crap ton of new rabbit holes in my head. As soon as I hit my mid-20s, my mom and sister started constantly asking about my dating life. They want to know when I'm going to settle down, get married and have a family. But there's this little problem I have. Every relationship I start ends not because of anything the women have done wrong. I've dated quite a few amazing ones. But something has always been missing. On the outside, everything would be fine and look like a healthy, thriving relationship. But inside. I dated one woman in particular, Sasha, for a year after college. I think she thought I was her forever. And there was a part of me that wanted to give myself to her. She was smart, funny and beautiful, and we had a lot of the same interests. We even surfed together. But as our relationship went on, I realized if I proposed to her, I'd doom her to a life with a man who loved her but would always feel like something was missing. Like something wasn't right. And I didn't want that for her. So we broke up. Now she's married to a wealthy guy in Maine and has two kids, which is exactly the life I knew she wanted and deserved. And Sasha isn't the only woman in my past with a similar story. Which is why I eventually stopped dating for a partnership and now mostly just date for fun, if one can even call it that. Because I have a similar problem there. Even with sex, I feel as if something is missing. It's nice sometimes, great, but it lacks. Again, it's not anything to do with the women I know. It's a me thing. Since I was raised to do things with every ounce of my effort to be the best at it or not do it at all. In the last couple of years, I've invested most of my time and energy into work, which has gotten me absolutely nowhere. Okay, maybe not nowhere. If I hadn't quit tonight, I probably would have gotten a promotion after the new year, or at least a good raise. And minus not being in a long term relationship, I have a nice life. A life my dad told me he was proud of before he died two years back from a sudden stroke. A life mom tells me she's proud of every time I talk to her. I grind my teeth, wondering what dad would say if he was still alive and I told him I quit my good paying job because I didn't like my manager. I already know mom is going to be disappointed. At least Lindsay will be happy. But I'm still fighting myself over my decision. I'm the first person in our family tree to go to college and get a corporate job. And now. Fuck. I slam my hands against the steering wheel, frustration and anger boiling over at myself and the situation I'm stuck in. But the tantrum was a stupid move because the force causes my car to swerve on the wet, icy road. I release another curse as I grip the wheel, managing to steady my car before I scold myself for being reckless. The last thing I want to do is get seriously injured or die, especially right before Christmas. With my heart beating fast in my chest, I take a relaxing breath and focus. I consider pulling off to the side of the road to check the weather, but I have a feeling that even a few minutes delay will only make things worse. The snow is coming down even harder now, to the point where it's difficult to see. The white flakes are more like sheets. As the harsh wind whips against my windows, I dare a quick glance at my phone mounted on my dash. I still have about an hour left to go until I reach my sister's place. It's past 11 now. My arrival was further delayed after I stopped to grab a burger and because I'm driving a snail's pace to avoid an accident. Keep it together, Nathan. My words bounced through the cab of my car alongside the smooth tones of Frank Sinatra singing White Crystal over the radio. Very appropriate. And now that I think of it, this will be my first white Christmas. My family never came up to the mountains, though they aren't that far from us, always opting to stay in town and drive to the beach if the weather was warm enough. I have fond memories of Lindsay, dad and I making snowmen out of sand while mom took pictures and laid out a picnic lunch. My chest tightens with emotion. This will be our second Christmas without Dad, and the first we'll be spending together in Lindsay's new home. From what she's told me, she never pictured herself in Starlight Haven, but after a bad divorce, she decided she needed a change for her and Cass. They'd taken a weekend trip to this charming lake town and fallen in love with it. That was shocking by itself since Lindsay was always a city loving girl who dreamed of moving to Los Angeles one day. But then mom decided to sell our childhood home and move in with her, which was even more of a surprise. It had to have been hard for mom to live in a little three bedroom without dad, so I understood. Now the only bad part is that every time I went to see my family, I have to make this drive. Frank Sinatra's voice fades out and the radio station's host comes on. As soon as I hear something about snow, I take my hand off the wheel and quickly turn up the volume. A white Christmas is indeed happening for the people of Starlight Haven, a female voice says. Looks like the snow is going to keep coming down for the next few days. The county has issued a warning urging residents not to leave their homes, and the roads at the bottom of the mountain have been closed off. If you're currently traveling, stay vigilant and find a place to shelter if you can. It's getting wild out there. Fucking Kathy. Had she let me go home when everyone else left the office, I would already be safe and warm with my family. Family not battling a winter storm. I lick my already chapped lips, easing my foot from the gas to go even slower. I didn't think it was possible, but the snow is coming down heavier now. The flakes are thick and fluffy as they hit my windshield, then disappear against the heat of my vehicle before being replaced by dozens more. If I wasn't shitting myself, I'd think it was beautiful. And it is beautiful, but I'd rather be observing it from inside my sister's cozy a frame home with a cup of Mom's hot chocolate in my my hands. Carol of the Bells comes through the speakers, and as the music builds, so does my anxiety. I'm climbing higher up the mountain now, and according to my gps, I'm going to reach the peak soon, which means I'm on the outskirts of Starlight Haven. Unfortunately, my sister's place is on the other side of town. While I'm glad I'm getting closer to civilization, I'm not out of the woods yet. I huff at my choice of thought. I'm definitely in the woods, thick forest flanking the road on both sides. Right now it looks black, but I remember the pines from my previous drives up here. I wonder if I've passed Starlight Lumber and Logging yet, a sign I see every time I almost get to this point. I smile, remembering that Lindsay mentioned they host the Lumberjack Games every year, which has axe throwing, speed pole climbing, and other events. The idea made me laugh when she told me, and I know the only reason she's excited to go next summer is that she hopes to meet a single guy who likes kids and can throw her around. I grimace. My sister tends to overshare, though it's part of her charm. But honestly, I want a good man for her. She deserves it after her divorce. And my niece deserves a constant male presence in her life like me and my sister had. In the past few months, I've wondered if I should actively try to come here more weekends, but Lindsay always assures me they're fine and they don't expect me to make the drive often and that video calls are enough. It was their choice to move up here, after all, but it still bothers me that I can't be here all the time. My decision to quit comes to the forefront of my mind once more. Maybe leaving my job has more benefits than just getting out from under Kathy's thumb. I don't think I want or could move here permanently, since this town doesn't have the type of firms I'd be looking to work for. But if I found a hybrid company that would allow a work from home option, I could visit more, and not during hellish winter storms. I automatically tighten my grip on the wheel as another Christmas song plays and I press my foot on the gas to accelerate up an incline. I quickly glance at the directions on my phone again, only to realize it's died. Damn it. Panic in my stomach swells as I try to inhale. I know this road will take me to the center of Starlight Haven, but once I get there I won't know where I'm going, especially with the current whiteout. It's late so nothing will be open, meaning I'll need to pull over and plug in my phone. I should have done that earlier, but I wasn't thinking. Too eager to get on the road. I also had enough juice, or at least I thought I did, to make it to my sister's. So the charger that plugs into my adapter is in my bag on the passenger seat. I look to the left and right and debate if this is a good spot to pull over. And then I realize I haven't seen another soul on the road since I started my ascent into Starlight Haven, which isn't a good thing. It's better to keep going until I get to town and then pull over. At least if I get stuck there, I'll be in civilization instead of surrounded by forests. I press the gas pedal down, picking up a tiny bit of speed. With the action comes a grinding noise and My shoulders instantly tense, my car vibrates, and then a loud snapping followed by more grinding has me gripping my wheel on instinct. Everything happens in slow motion. My car swerves and then I'm spinning out, my body being thrashed around while I'm too stunned to even scream. A loud thud sounds as my car slams into something and everything jerks to a stop in a jarring instant for several minutes. Or maybe it's just seconds. I say sit frozen while Jingle Bells plays cheerfully over my speakers and my chest heaves with short breaths. My vision spots and I close my eyes, my hands white knuckling the wheel so tightly they hurt. When my brain finally reaches the conclusion that I'm not dead, I exhale unsteadily, loosen my grip just a bit, and drop my chin to my chest. Holy shit. After another minute, when I'm sure I won't pass out from lack of oxygen or shock, I shakily unbuckle my seatbelt. I have no idea what happened, but the airbags didn't deploy and my car is still running, which I take as a good sign. I press on the gas, but all I hear is more sputtering and grinding. Fuck. Now I have to get out and see what's going on, or at least try to see what caused me to spin out. Given the conditions, I'm hoping my car will still drive. I suck in another breath and then another before I grab the heavy winter coat I ordered online last week from my backseat. I put it on, bracing myself for the weather I'm about to face. Even though the heat is still blasting, I think the temperature in the cab has dropped several degrees already. If I had another option, I wouldn't get out of my car, but unfortunately I don't. I zip up my jacket, turn on my emergency flashers, then push open the door with the engine still running. The freezing wind whips in wet flakes of snow, hitting my heated skin and melting. I was not made for the cold, but I try to push that thought out of my head as I shove my door open further and stand. My headlights are still shining, but the relentless weather covers the beams so it's still hard to see. I walk around my car and when I get to the back, I see the culprit. The back chains I had put on my tires snapped and are now completely useless. And what's worse is that I'm very clearly stuck in a snowbank. Fuck. I kick at some of the snow around my tires and immediately regret it as the white powder enters my shoe and begins to soak my sock. I'm still in my work clothes, and my shoes are a nice pair of loafers not meant for the snow. I attempt to ignore the bite of cold on my ankles as I crouch and dig some of the snow away from my tires, but my hands, instantly my new gloves I ordered are packed in my suitcase, which isn't helpful right now when I realize digging is futile. I know I need to try to get some help. There's no way I'm going to be able to dig myself out of this. I go to stand, but as I do, spots fill my vision and I sway. I mutter a curse and press both hands on the cold bumper of my car, squeezing my eyes shut when something thicker and wetter than snow drips down my forehead. I bring a hand to my skin and feel a tacky substance on my fingertips. I swipe it away and open my bleary eyes to see blood staining my fingers. Did I hit my head when I spun out? With my hands still on my car, I attempt to take a step toward the heated cab to find my charger and call for help before shit gets worse for me. But when I do, the world starts to spin. All the adrenaline from the accident has left my body and now my head is throbbing. Come on, Nathan, I urge myself. Get in the car. I try to blink away my blurry vision and release the bumper to take another step, which turns out to be a huge mistake. It feels as if someone has pulled a rug out from under my feet and I fall backward. My ears ring, my eyes fall shut, and then I'm hitting something soft and pillowy, but it's not a bed because the pillows are cool like satin but cold and wet like ice. Water droplets hit my face and I don't know if it's snow or maybe the blood I felt trickling from the wound in my head. It feels harder than it should, but I manage to pry my eyes open to watch the endless white fluttering down from the dark skies. I'm not sure how long I do that, but as my vision blurs again, my mind drifts to everything and nothing at all. I think of my mom and sister, of my niece, of my dumb job, of my failed relationships, of surfing on my favorite beach, of tacos in the summertime with Lindsay and of course, Dad. I guess it's true. Your life really does flash before your eyes when you're about to die. Is that what's happening right, right now? A tear? Or at least I think it's a tear. Streaks down my face and my eyes fall shut, heavy with sleep. My heartbeat slows. I hear a voice in the back of my head telling me to stay awake. I know I should try for that voice, but I'm so tired and this bed is so cold. No, not snowbank. I'm in a snowbank. More time passes and my body is numb. Yet everything hurts to the point I can't move. My lungs feel frozen, my toes are cold and my head is aching, but I'm still alive. In the distance I think I hear a noise. A twig breaking or trees rustling. A spark lights in my chest that maybe help is coming. But then I remember I crashed in a place surrounded by trees. It's probably just an animal. Maybe I'll get eaten by a bear. Ouch. Though maybe that's better than slowly freezing to death like I am right now. If that is what's happening. Is it? I chuckled at myself, my thoughts fuzzy and body heavy in my mind's eye. I imagine myself on a beach somewhere, hearing the sound of the waves crashing and kids laughing. There's a warm touch on my cheek that lights my body up as if it's on fire. I think it's sunshine. Or at least that's what it feels like. Warm, beautiful, euphoric sunshine. What are you doing out here? I turn to my sister, who's on the beach with me now. Now I'm surfing. Lindsay's hands grasp my shoulders and gently shake me. Stay with me, she says, but it's not her voice that comes out. It's a huskier one, a commanding one. I am staying, I say. That's good to hear, a male voice says. Is that my dad? I don't have time to wonder, though, because the beach begins to fade and my body goes cold again. For a brief moment, the warm sunshine returns to my cheek and I force my heavy eyes open. When I do, I'm not met with sunshine, but the round face of an angel. She looks sad, or at least I think she does. I'm here to help you, she says. To die. My words come out scratchy and soft, but she's hurt them. Not if we have anything to say about it. We? Who's we? That's the last thought I have before everything goes dark, my body falling into cold oblivion as the void welcomes me with open arms. Chapter Five Nathan I'm warm. No, not just warm. Sweltering. Wasn't I cold before? No. I was at the beach with Lindsay. Wait. No, I wasn't. I was driving. Then I was cold. Really cold. My eyes pop open and I groan wherever I am. The lighting is dim, but that doesn't stop the ache I feel in my temple. I attempt to bring my hand up to check the spot, but it's trapped. Panic bubbles in my gut as the events leading up to this moment come back to me. The chains and my tires broke. I spun out. I went to check on my car and I passed out in the snow. I was cold and thought I was dying, but then there was an angel. No. I pressed my eyes shut again and shift, fabric sticking to my overheated skin. Wait. Fabric? I look down and see I'm cocooned in blankets as if I've been swaddled, which explains why my hands are trapped. I shift again and wiggle my hands free, noticing that my body feels like I got hit by a truck. I didn't get hit, but when I spun out I might have gotten whiplash. Then there's the fact I was freezing in a snow bank and my head. I lift my now free hand up and press it against my forehead. There's a bandage over it, and not a very big one, which means it must not be too terrible. There doesn't seem to be a bump either, but I don't know for sure until I see it in a mirror. I drop my hand back down to the bed. Wait. Bed? I sit up too fast for a man who is just unconscious and squeeze my eyes shut again for a moment before opening them. Where the hell am I? My gaze drifts around the room. The main overhead light is off, but there's a small lamp on the rustic wooden bedside table with a red lampshade that emits a warm glow among the space as well as a fire blazing at the front of the room inside a brick fireplace. It must have been tended to recently because the logs haven't turned to ash and the heat it's giving off explains why I started to sweat through the evergreen colored sheets and blankets piled on top of me. Me. The room itself isn't that large, but it's nice and woodsy. The walls are dark stained logs and the ceiling is vaulted with exposed beams. Besides the lamp and bedside table, there's only one piece of decor, and that's a large painting of a fox hunting a lamb. It's oddly beautiful, yet a little strange and kind of frightening. My body naturally leans forward to take a closer look, and I think I see another figure or animal in the distance. Snap. I jolt in the bed sheets, dropping down to my waist as I bring a startled hand to my chest Wait, am I? I look down at my body, pulling away the blankets to find no clothes covering me. Jesus, I'm naked. Not even the briefs I slipped on this morning are on my body. I survey the room, looking for any sign of my clothes, but I don't see them. I think about calling out, but I have no idea where I am or who picked me up. This place seems nice, but who the hell knows? I was literally in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by forests. Who would have found me out there? And how the hell did they get me back here? I run my tongue against the roof of my dry mouth and turn my head to the bedside table to find a cup of water along with a washcloth that still looks wet. I wonder for a second if the water could be drugged. Wait, why am I assuming they're murderers or crazed woods people, especially if they took the time and effort to rescue me from the storm? I think I've listened to one too many true crime podcasts recently, which I can thank my sister for. I pick up the glass and sip from it. It's cool, the outside of it sweating from the heat of the space, which again leads me to believe whoever brought me here was recently in this room, probably making sure I was okay. I set the water back down once I've almost drained it, then decide I should try to find some clothes. The pain in my head is still there, but lessening with each moment I'm awake. The water helped too. I'm taking the fact that I don't want to go to sleep again and I'm not dizzy or nauseous as a good sign that maybe I don't have a concussion. If my sister were here, she'd be able to tell me she's an ER nurse, and a damn good one. Oh shit, Lindsay. I push the blankets back and stand, not caring anymore that I'm as naked as the day I was born and that my body aches. I figure it'll pass the more I move around, so I start searching the room for my pants or my jacket, hoping I put my phone inside a pocket or whoever brought me here thought to grab it. I need to call my family and let them know I'm fine. Eventually I find a folded pair of flannel red and green pajama pants with a drawstring and step in them, not caring that I'll probably look like Buddy the Elf wearing them. They may not be mine, but at least they're something. I quickly pull them up and tie the string, surprised to find they fit pretty well in my lithe form. When I'm certain my phone or clothes aren't in here, I decide to venture out of the room. I have no idea who I'm going to find, but if they were kind enough to rescue me in a snowstorm, they must be nice, right? Though I'm confused as to why I was completely stripped down. I get My clothes were probably wet from the snow, but my underwear too. The thought of a complete stranger or strangers undressing me is weird, one I have to push to the back of my mind as I walk to the bedroom door. It's not completely closed. Whoever put me in here has left it ajar and when I open it I'm faced with a hallway. The lights are off, but enough ambient light filters in that when I turn my head to the left I can see three more doors lining the logged corridor, one of them cracked open at the end. It's not a very long hallway and just like my room, it lacks decor, though the stained wooden logs are expertly placed and look almost crafted. I take a step forward and glance to the right. Light floods from an open space and I notice then that shadows flicker on the walls from what I assume is another roaring fire coming from a living space. Though the door at the end of the hallway is cracked, I decide the safer option is venturing toward the living room. Hopefully whoever got me here is there and I won't have to awkwardly figure out what to do next. I stretch my neck from side to side and roll my shoulders, loosening up my muscles and taking a deep breath. My feet move from the plush cream carpet of the bedroom to the cool wood of the hallway. The change in temperature causes a shiver to run up my spine and I wish I would have found a shirt alongside these pants. Swallowing, I take another step and then another until I reach the main room only a few feet away. I glance around the large open living area with cathedral ceilings, more exposed beams, and unfortunately for me, not a soul in sight. Just giant flat screen TV and a large plush red couch with a matching recliner and a love seat. The light of the fire dances across my skin as some of the wood pops and crackles from water trapped within. I study the brick fireplace, noticing the design is similar to the one in my room, but this one has an ornate wooden mantle with more foxes and lambs carved into it. I run my tongue along the back of my teeth as my eyes settle on the two green and red velvet stockings hanging from it. Had those not been there, I wouldn't think whoever was here celebrated Christmas as there are no lights, no tree, just the two stockings. Two? Did a couple find me? I think back to the moment and remember hearing a woman's voice, but I can't remember if I heard two. I let out a soft sigh. It doesn't matter who found me. I need to see if I can find my phone. Or any phone. And Jesus, my car. If someone finds it on the side of the road without me in it, my family will think the worst. Rubbing the back of my neck, I circle the room. Eventually I find my coat on a hook near the door and my heart speeds up in my chest. I hurry over to it and search the pockets but come up empty. Save my car keys doesn't help me, though. Not what I was looking for. I spin around and keep walking. The kitchen is nice and looks newly renovated with stainless steel appliances. It's just a normal kitchen, but as I turn to head back toward the hallway, a picture on the fridge stops me. A magnet that says I pine for you is holding a snapshot of a beautiful, voluptuous woman, but that's not what caught my eye. It's the fact that said beautiful woman is completely nude and straddling a giant tree trunk. Her arm covers her large breasts, though the soft skin spills over and I think I see the crest of her dark nipples. Her other hand is covering the V between her legs, and her smile is contagious. Light blond hair streaked with black sections blows in the breeze behind her. The summer sun scatters beams of light on her skin, a lot of it decorated with tattoos of varying colors, shapes, and sizes. Is this who rescued me? It has to be. I start to reach for the photo, feeling a little like a perv for even thinking of studying it closer, but I can't stop myself. Just as my fingers touch the outer edge of the print, a loud cry pierces the air. I turn toward the noise, the hair in my arms standing on end. While it did come from behind me, it didn't come from this room. It came from down at the end of the hallway. Another cry, followed by the sound of what I can only describe as a slap, reaches my ears. Before I can really comprehend what I'm doing, I'm walking back to the hallway. The fire is still going strong in the living area, casting my shadow on the floor as I eat up the ground, getting closer to my room. In my gut, I know I should stop. I should go to sleep or wait for whoever is here to come find me. But instead I step past the open door of the room I was in, then past the door across from mine, then past the other. Another shout rings out again, the cries becoming louder and more frequent. The sound is most definitely feminine. I tell myself the only reason I'm seeking the noise out is because I'm concerned, but I'm smart enough to know that those cries and noises aren't ones to necessarily be concerned about. I lighten my steps as much as I can and ease my way to the door. The crack is wide enough that I can clearly see into the room, yet keep my body hidden. My eyes first find the massive fire that lights the room, flickering and sending warm light across the floor like the other two fires that have been lit and stoked throughout the cabin. On the ground in front of it lies a bearskin rug strewn with several articles of clothing, including a red lacy bra and what looks to be a matching thong. I blink rapidly at what I notice next, not quite understanding what I'm seeing. Not only is there a ball gag on the floor that's shining as if it was just used, but there's something I can only describe as a stockade or a strange type of massage table. It has a place for someone's legs, stomach, and arms, even their face. But that's not the most bizarre part. At the back of it sits a low stand with a large silicone cock protruding from it. My eyes widen and I forget that my head is still hurting and my body is aching. I forget everything entirely. My head shifts to the left as another loud cry resounds, my gaze now focused on the two people fucking on the large king bed. If my eyes hadn't popped out of my head from the contraption on the floor, I think they're about to. The woman from the photograph is kneeling on the bed, her plush body facing toward me as what I can only describe as a beast of a man pounds into her from behind, making every part of her jiggle from the force. The man is kneeling as well, his torso pressed to her back, one of his tattooed arms between her breasts so his hand can grasp her throat. His other inked arm is between her legs, long fingers circling her clit as she moans, like any man in this situation. Or maybe something is just wrong with me. Blood rushes south and my dick begins to fill, throbbing inside my loose flannel pajamas. Disgust with myself itches at the back of my throat, telling me to walk away, telling me I should at least close the door and pretend I never saw them like this. But I keep watching, eyes glued to the debauched scene before me. Fox, the woman says in a husky tone, another cry following her one uttered word. The man I assume is called Fox squeezes her throat and her swollen lips part as a silent gasp escapes her. Do you need me to gag you again? You said you could be quiet. The woman bites her lip hard, her head falling back against the broad shoulder of her partner before I think she utters a quiet no. He says something I can't hear in her ear. Then he's shoving her forward onto the bed and pressing her head into the end of the mattress. Her cheek is now flattened against the pine colored comforter as the man lays on top of her, his hips slapping in a measured cadence against the curve of her plump ass, drawing out more feminine moans. My hands turn into fists at my sides, a trickle of sweat caused from the fire and the rising heat of my own body dripping from my brow and dropping onto my foot where it's curled against the wood floor. You're such a needy whore tonight, little lamb. Thrust, thrust, thrust. I like it. My eyes draw from the woman being thoroughly used to the man doing the using, to the man who just said such vile words that I should be disgusted or step in to ask if she needs help. The notion is silly though, because it's clear she's very much enjoying it, enjoying the words he's saying and wanting more because she whines something I can't understand. Whatever she says makes him chuckle, makes him drive into her harder and use her body like a toy for his pleasure, abusing it, owning it. I've never seen anything like it. It's raw, dirty, and so unhinged. Your cunt is squeezing me, he nearly whispers. Tell me how it feels. Like your dick is splitting me in two. He pulls off her body in a swift motion, his cock still inside her, and he moves one hand to the soft pouch of her generous stomach and the other to her outer hip. With the light of the fire now shining on him, I can clearly see the beast who's been having his way with his beauty. It's not just his arms and hands that are covered in tattoos, it's nearly every inch of him. Black and gray designs swirl and cut across his body's canvas, from his ankles, up his tree trunk thighs to his soft yet muscled torso and painted up his thick neck and even under his chin. I've seen heavily tattooed men before, but never like this, and like the woman writhing under him, his hair is long and blonde, though he is a golden blonde color with no black. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this man is a living God, as if a tattooed version of Thor jumped from the pages of myth and legend. But he looks like the traditional Thor, thick and muscular yet soft and pliant. Not like the ones in movies with an eight pack of abs. Even more interesting than that, though, he's a massive man. He moves with an ease and grace you'd not expect someone built like him to have have. He's be my swells and aches as I watch him, studying him. Without thinking, I bring my hand to my crotch, palming the aching flesh to get some sort of relief. As soon as I squeeze, a zap of electricity sluices up my spine and I realize what I'm doing. My stomach falls in on itself and I feel strange. Did I just get turned on by him? The warm air around me becomes stifling as I shake my head and pull my hand away from my dick as if it's been burned. No, this is like watching porn. The act has me turned on. The way he's thrusting into her with swift precision, his cock gliding in and out of her wet pussy. The way their bodies come together so violently yet so perfectly. It's the moment, the depravity. The way she's looking at me.

[Adriana Herrera]

Me.

[E]

My thoughts stop. The way she's looking at me. I blink, then blink again. Hazel eyes stare at me from beneath dark lashes that kiss pink cheeks, and she smiles. The man's tattooed hand is now back on the side of her head, pushing her forcefully into the mattress as he pumps into her. The bed shakes from the force and squeaks as if it will collapse beneath them. I blink again. She sees me. She knows I'm watching. The smile on her lips widens, and instead of acting like a person who has just been caught having sex by a stranger in their home, jumping up and trying to cover herself, maybe, or screaming at me to leave. At the very least. She doesn't do anything. Her eyes remain on me while the man behind her grunts and shatters. She squeezes her eyes shut as her orgasm is triggered by his brutal release. Stifling her cry by planting her face into the mattress, she fists the sheets as the man, still thrusting, rides her through their mutual orgasms. Embarrassed and flustered, I do the only thing I can think of. I turn and walk away, determined to get out of here before they can get their clothes on.

[F]

Chapter 6 Morgan he's going to try to leave. Fox Raspberry. I expel a breath. I told you he'd wake up you also told me you'd be quiet if I took your gag out. He chuckles against the shell of my ear. It's not my fault you can't follow directions. That has me smirking. Yeah, but I'm not the one who left the door cracked open. I can't see Fox's face from this position, which irks me because I want to study him, try to figure out why he left the door open. I think he wanted our rescue pup to hear us, to come find us. I think he wanted to know what he would do if he would. No, I can't think about that right now. I swallow against the pain of past rejection that springs in my throat, threatening to choke me. Fox exhales, then swiftly extricates himself from me softening cock and the mess of us exiting my body. I close my eyes for a moment, allowing the adrenaline from the night and our playtime to melt away and the pleasure of my orgasm to ground me. My peaceful moment only lasts for a second before Fox is gently rolling me onto my back. My tired body protests. It's been a long night and all it wants to do is curl up in bed and fall asleep with Fox's steady heartbeat in my ear. But we have a man we rescued in our home who's probably going to try to leave during the worst winter storm I've seen in years. Maybe ever. Which won't end well for him. One of Fox's inked fingers smooths out the furrow in my brow. Did I go too hard on you? He asks with a sly smile on his lips and a glimmer of sadism in his blue eyes. You could have gone harder, he chuckles, moving from his kneeling position to lay his heavy body over mine, pressing me into the mattress. I groan when I feel his length hardening against my belly. If we were alone, I'd let him take me again, not caring that my vagina would probably cry mercy. Yet knowing my husband, he'd use my mouth or my ass, and I'd allow it, especially since our little Christmas tradition got derailed. The sound of something falling over has our heads turning toward the source of the noise, the man in our second bedroom. We need to stop him before he hurts himself. He'll figure it out, fox replies. I huff. I love my husband, but sometimes he's an idiot. Be nice. I am nice. I carried him back here, didn't I? He did, and despite his attitude now I know he cares for that stranger's life. Fox likes to pretend he's a big old grump who doesn't care about people, but he's one of the kindest and most caring people I know. He's had a hard life, so I understand his desire to protect himself, to protect his heart and me. Which is why I'm even more curious as to why he left the door cracked. He could have easily locked it, preventing our house guest from watching us. And watch he did let me up. We have another few minutes before we end up chasing him through the snow. And that's a bad thing? I roll my eyes. Get off me, will you? Yes, ma'am. That earns him a punch to the shoulder, and he grunts playfully before relenting and letting me up. I can feel his lazy gaze on me as I stand, his release spilling down my leg. I smile to myself, the depraved part of my soul enjoying that I'll be convincing our stranger to stay while my husband's spend drips from me. I know Fox likes it, too, enough that it will drive him so crazy he'll fuck me into the mattress again when we get back to bed. Heavy footsteps moving down the hallway make me pick up speed, and I grab a red silk robe and a simple pair of cotton underwear. I take a couple of tissues from the oak dresser and wipe my thighs and legs, then slip on my clothes. Fox has gotten off the bed, too, his long hair now tied in a bun and a pair of briefs on his legs.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Legs.

[F]

I throw him a shirt and Fox balks at it. But this guy we saved is going to be skittish, and despite the fact that he walked off when he found out I saw him watching. I noted the way he was looking at Fox, the way he was looking at us. It's better if we at least have most of our bodies covered. Once I'm dressed, I exit the bedroom with Fox on my heels. My long legs eat up the ground, and I expect to find our new friend halfway out the door. Instead, he's sitting at the kitchen table Fox made by hand for me, bundled in his winter coat and an old pair of flannel pants he found, ones I didn't know were still in that room. I push down the emotion that came up earlier and try to make my features as normal and welcoming as possible. For a split second I debate what to say, then I go with the first thing that comes to mind. Hi. The man snaps his head up at the same time Fox stands beside me. Our guest's dark brown eyes move from mine to my husband's and his cheeks turn a ruddy red color. I should have told Fox to stay behind. He's a very large man, tattooed from head to toe and scary as hell. I think our guest finds him attractive. At least that's the impression I got. Not to mention, said guest also just witnessed us having rough sex and probably saw Fox's favorite new toy near the fireplace Face. I flush a little, but not with embarrassment, with arousal. We're snowed in, he says, his tone matter of fact. Yet the warm timbre of his voice turns my nipples to peaks and sends a shiver racing up my spine. Fox moves, and I don't miss the way the man at our table jumps, as if he thinks my husband is going to lunge for his throat, like a fox capturing his prey. He's just checking, I say, trying to calm him. I'm not lying, the man retorts. My lips tip up in a gentle smile. He doesn't think that. He just wants to see for himself what kind of weather we're dealing with. Fox opens our front door, the muscles of his broad shoulders bunching beneath his navy Henley. The white wall, he reveals, looks like the snow I've seen in movies about snow days. It's piled almost the entire height of the door. Some of it falls in and cold wind, along with snowflakes, whip through the space left open at the top. I told you, the stranger snarks. I ignore his comment and cross my arms over my chest. As Fox closes the door. My husband turns toward me and, unsurprisingly, he doesn't look worried, but his face is hard. That's the way he looks when he's about to talk about a new reforestation operation or a seasonal harvest. He's got his chest puffed out, and the moment his bearded jaw clenches, I know he's about to go into military mode and begin barking out commands. I hold up my hand before he can speak. The generator is working fine and you know we're prepared. Let's sit and talk to our guest. Fox's mouth presses into a hard line, and I know he wants to argue, to shovel snow or whatever else he wants to do to keep me safe, but he also knows I'm right. Night. The man we saved needs the gaps in his night filled in, and while Fox probably enjoys watching him squirm to a certain extent, if their positions were reversed, I know my husband would have dug his way out of here until he either made it back to his car or froze to death. Well, make us some coffee, he grunts, walking behind our guest to the kitchen area. I nod and Take a seat across from the man who's back to fiddling with his keys. Do you have my phone? His brown eyes meet mine and my stomach twists. By the light above us I can see the worry etched in them in the whirlwind of rescuing him in the storm. I didn't even stop to think he might have been heading to someone and that they're probably worried for him. I'm sorry we didn't see one. We were concerned for your life, so I turned off your car and grabbed your keys. I need to reach my sister, let her know I'm not dead. Does she live in Starlight Haven? He tips his chin, pushing some of his tousled brown hair from his forehead. Yes, about 30 minutes north of the town center. Unfortunately, even without the storm we have shoddy reception and right now none at all. The power and Internet are also out and we've got the generator going. But I can have Fox radio the sheriff and they can get word to her. We have to let them know about your car anyway and that you're safe, but we were going to wait till a decent hour. I look at the Scandinavian style clock on the wall and see that it's already approaching 4 in the morning. I guess that's decent enough. When my eyes connect with his, he's looking at me funny, confusion riddling his handsome features. Radio? He asks. We're used to remote life up here. Sometimes old school works best. I could explain to him that the ham radio comes in handy with the type of work we do, especially when we're on jobs in the middle of nowhere. We usually have a satellite phone, but we were in the process of getting a new one. Neither of us expected the weather would get this bad. Please, can you radio the sheriff now? His voice is so pained it stabs at my heart. I feel bad about how he found us and wish we had closed the door in the heat of the moment. It was a little thrilling, but this poor man is scared and I know I would be too. I reach out to try to comfort him, but Fox steps up to the table before I can touch him and plunks down two mugs full of steaming coffee. The man jumps a bit at the motion, but then I watch with curiosity as he looks up at Fox, his cheeks flushing pink again. Interesting. Fox doesn't smile at him or say anything. He just turns and walks back to the kitchen. Opening a drawer we use for junk, he pulls out a pen and paper I forgot was even in there and then comes back and puts it down in front of our guest. Give me her name, address, and phone number and I'll do it. The man quickly takes the offered pen and paper and writes it down. When he hands it back to Fox, I notice that my husband purposely brushes his fingers over the man. Thanks. He trips over the word, his voice an octave higher than it was before. I don't miss the way Fox's lip twitches from his reaction. This time I want to ask my husband what he's doing, but I think I know. However, I'm not sure why. And your name? Fox asks. Nathan. Nathan Clark. Fox turns his gaze to me. We could be okay while I go do this. I nod. Fox knows I can handle myself, but he's a protective guy. The man I know now as Nathan looks like he wouldn't hurt a fly even though he's packing muscles under that winter coat of his muscles I had no choice but to see when I was getting him warm again. I'll be right back. Fox shoots a menacing glare toward Nathan that tells him not to try anything and I internally roll my eyes. He also kisses my forehead before walking toward the third bedroom that we've made into an office. Office. When I hear the door click closed, my gaze falls back to Nathan and I pull my cup of coffee toward me. It's time to get to know our guest.

[E]

Chapter 7 Nathan so, Nathan, how are you feeling? Who are you? I ask, ignoring her polite question. My tone comes off rude, but I'm tired. My head still hurts, and I'm positive that the man who just walked out is either part of the mafia or a drug dealer. He's scary as shit and now he knows where my sister lives, a fact I realized after I gave all her information and my name freely. I'm going to blame the head injury. The woman who I just 10 minutes ago watched having her soul fucked out of her body, takes a sip of her coffee, then folds her hands in front of her with the action light reflects from something on her hand. When I look down, I see a large princess cut diamond ring on her left finger and matching wedding band. For some unknown reason, my heart squeezes in my chest. My name is Morgan and the grump who went to go radio the sheriff for you is my husband, Fox. I must not be good at hiding my reaction because she huffs a small laugh. I know it's an odd name, but the more you get to know him, the more you'll understand why it suits him. It's also not a nickname. I think of the man who just walked off. He's large, but there's something quiet and almost stealthy about him. Hearing his name reminds me of the fox carved into the fireplace mantle and the oddly beautiful painting in the room where I woke up. Then I vaguely remember him calling her Little Lamb while he screwed her brains out. He also called her something else I do not care to repeat. My heart beats loudly in my ears and I wonder if maybe I should risk swimming in the snow outside to get help. I know that's stupid, which is why I'm sitting here right now. And apparently Fox has a direct line to the sheriff. So even if these people are mafia drug dealers or just sex crazed weirdos, what am I supposed to do? I'm stuck here and I don't have a phone or a way to leave. After another beat of silence, Morgan clears her throat. I'm sorry for what you saw. I should have been there when you woke up to explain what happened. I didn't mean for you to see that. I think of her smiling face, of the way she looked at me. While I don't think that's true, she blinks at me and honestly, I'm surprised I said it too. Maybe it was finally standing up to Kathy and quitting my job, or maybe it was what I'm assuming was a near death experience in that snowbank. But she's lying. I think she left the door open so I would see that. The question is why? The only thing I could come up with is it's some kind of kink. I saw that contraption on their floor. Having someone watch seems like the least of the kinky things this couple likes. Morgan takes another sip of her coffee and I decide to do the same. The hot, bitter liquid feels good going down my raw throat, and I could use the caffeine boost to clear my head and wake me up a bit. I don't want to fall asleep without knowing more about where I am and how I got here. It's been over four hours since I fell in that snowbank and I'm missing that whole chunk of time. Nathan, I really didn't mean for you to see, she starts, but I interrupt her. How am I here? She leans back against the dark wooden chair, sighing at my subject change. Probably, but I don't need to debate her truthfulness over the matter. Fox and I were she pauses, as if trying to choose her next words carefully. Out looking for a Christmas tree. I happened to see the lights of your car and got curious. I'm glad I did, because had we not come along, I'm positive you wouldn't be talking to me right now. A Christmas tree? I ask disbelievingly. Ignoring that, she confirmed I could have died because I did not want to think about that. She gestures around the cabin. As you can see, we're a little late decorating this year. We also enjoyed the snow and thought it would be festive, but like I said, I'm glad. I think I remember you rescuing me. She takes another sip of her coffee. Yes, you called me Lindsay. That's my sister. I'm not sure why I told her that, but she smiles at the information. You were out of it and freezing to death. I'm not surprised you were hallucinating or thinking of your family in that moment. I subconsciously bring my hand to the bandage on my head. You're lucky it's just a little gash, morgan continues. There was a lot of blood. Head wounds tend to bleed a lot. I imagine part of you passing out was the shock. What if I have a concussion? It's possible, but it's a good sign that you're walking around and talking. How are you feeling? I want to say, besides waking up in a strange place to find two strangers fucking, and being stuck in said place with said strangers for the foreseeable future while my family spends Christmas without me, I'm feeling fucking fantastic. Not, I feel like I got hit by a truck, I say. Instead. Your body has gone through a lot. Now that you're awake, I'll give you some painkillers and you can get some rest. As you saw, we can't take you anywhere. But if you feel dizzy or nauseous or anything of that sort, let us know and we'll radio the sheriff again to see if any emergency team could get out here. I shake my head. I do feel sore, but I don't think that's necessary, though at least then I'd be out of this situation. No, I can't cause all that hoopla just to leave here. I'd be risking multiple lives because I'm uncomfortable. I can stay in their spare room until the snow clears and hope this situation doesn't get any weirder than it already is. Morgan leans forward. Nathan. I look into her hazel eyes in the brighter light. I see flecks of gold and brown in them, almost creating the effect of a kaleidoscope. I've never seen anything like them. I know we got off to a strange start, but I promise you, you're safe here. My husband and I are well known in this community. We own a business with employees have friends, and we're prepared for storms. I know it's probably not ideal for you to spend your holiday trapped here with us, but we'll take care of you. I tapped my fingers against the side of the mug, her words soaking into my tired mind. How did you know what to do when you found me?

[G]

Me?

[E]

She licks her lips, a small sigh escaping her. I suspect she was hoping I would respond to her statement, but I still haven't decided what to think of her. Them. We own the lumber company here in Starlight Haven, and we get hurt on the job during harvesting and other projects. Our employees can get hurt too, and they do. You're not the first person I've cared for who's had a minor head injury or stayed out in the cold for too long with improper gear. We get a lot of transients looking for work, people with no experience. Sometimes they learn the hard way that what we do is dangerous. I woke up naked. That makes her laugh a little. Yes. If there was another way to warm you up without removing your clothes, we would have. But they were wet. We? My skin turns hotter and I'm reminded then that I'm still wearing this hot winter coat. I can feel sweat starting to accumulate on my back and chest. We were as respectful as we could be, but like I said, had we not found you when we did, let's just say your body was very cold. We had to get you warm gradually, so we removed your wet clothes and then put you in the bed. We used warm compresses on your body and you woke up a few times, but you were still out of it. I don't remember. Like I said, you were out of it. You were calling me angel, though I do blush now as hazy memories start to come back into my mind, ones of a blurry soft face and a husky voice telling me everything was going to be okay. A finger stroking my hair and whispers of comfort. Our touch felt good. Then there was another touch, too. Stronger, rougher. I clear my throat. I remember a little of that. I think. That's good. More might come back to you. And the good news is, I don't think you'll have any lasting damage. You can move all your fingers and toes, right? I automatically curl my toes and wiggle my fingers before peering at her. I can. She smiles gently. Good. Like I said, I'm glad we found you in touch. Time. Her words strike me in the chest, hard. Despite how I woke up, I'm grateful they did find me. Had they not, I most likely would be dead or close to it. I didn't want to die. I wasn't ready to die. I pushed my mug away, my body heavy with sleep and now emotion. The adrenaline I felt from waking up, seeing them in their bedroom and trying to leave, paired with the worry I felt because my family doesn't know where I am. That's all leaving my body. A yawn overtakes me before I can stop it. Then another one. We can talk more in the morning, morgan chuckles. Or, I guess, afternoon. I think we'll all be sleeping in. I nod, unsure of what to do next. She stands from her place at the table and takes my nearly full mug. I hear her move around in the kitchen and the sound of the faucet turning on and back off before she returns with a glass of water and two pills. I stare at her dumbly and she holds up the bottle so I can see what she's giving me. Not the good stuff you'll get in the hospital, but it should do the trick. She places the bottle of acetaminophen on the table. You can take that into your room and if you wake up in four hours and need more, take another. Two images of her nearly naked in a naughty nurse uniform pop into my mind and I blink them back. What the hell? I'm going to blame my current situation and what I saw in their bedroom for that image, because it's not something that would normally spring to mind. Actually, it's an image I've never entertained before. I'm not into role play or kink. I toss the two pills in my mouth and drink them down before taking the pill bottle in my hand. When I stand, I'm face to face with one of my rescuers for the first time, at least while I'm lucid. I'm a hair shorter than her, but not by much. She doesn't bother me. It's kind of thrilling to be almost evenly matched with her. Wow. Her eyes are even more beautiful up close. The different colors are pretty against the dark eyeliner and mascara she still wears. I also like the small mole above her lip and the vine tattoo creeping up the right side of her neck. I lean forward, a desire to both get a better look at the detailed lines of it and be closer to her overtaking me. The clearing of a throat has me stepping back like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar. Fox is standing a couple of feet from the table, clad in his navy henley and briefs, arms crossed over his barreled chest. I rub the back of my neck and look away from his piercing gaze, worried about him walking in on me, studying his wife like a manual. Did you get a hold of the sheriff? Morgan asks, apparently unbothered by what her husband just walked in on. Fox walks closer and tugs Morgan into his side. It's possessive and a little rough, but she falls into him easily and places her hand on his chest, looking up at him while she waits for his answer. He's going to get in touch with Nathan's sister and radios back later today. Luckily, everything in town seems to be working okay, including the power grids. We're getting the worst of it here, since we're at the highest point. Morgan nods and meets my eyes as if she's expecting me to say something. I would have preferred to know that my family knew I was safe, but some of my anxiety eases that they'll find out soon. I still feel sick that Lindsay's probably beside herself and my poor mom. Hopefully she's sleeping through all of it and is none the wiser. Maybe Lindsay is too. Thank you, I finally say. I appreciate it. She tips her chin and then I force my gaze to meet Fox's. His face is relaxed now, but I see the way his veins protrude from his tattooed neck and how his shoulders are set back, still in protector mode. When our eyes connect, I don't doubt for a second that he's studying me, sizing me up. My skin itches and I think of that painting in the bedroom. Cunning fox hunting the unsuspecting lady lamb. And I know he called Morgan by that pet name, but why do I feel like the lamb is now me? I shift on my feet and step away from the table. I need to go to sleep before I start compounding conspiracy theories about this couple in my head. Morgan told me what they do, and I'm assuming the lumber company they own is Starlight Lumber and Logging, the one that holds the games in the summer my sister wants to attend. They also rescued me and they're allowing me to stay in their home. Fox may be scary, but I can do my best to try to ignore him, ignore both of them while I wait out the storm. Fox and Morgan follow me with their eyes as I give them a wide berth, stepping around the table and them, much like I did with Kathy earlier tonight. Once I reach the mouth of the hallway, I stop and turn. Thank you for rescuing me. The two of them stare at me, Fox still holding Morgan to his side. She grins a breathtaking smile that makes her look like the angel I thought her to be earlier. A dark angel with tattoos and colored hair, but an angel nonetheless. No thanks needed, she answers. I don't wait for Fox to respond before I retreat to my temporary home. Once I'm safe inside the bedroom, I put the pill bottle down on the bedside table and take off my winter coat. It isn't until I look to the bed that I notice someone has been in here, not only because there are fresh logs on the fire, but there are clothes laid out for me on the bed. A brown Henley, a pair of gray sweatpants, and even underwear. I step toward the bed and finger the soft material of the shirt. Then I sit down on the mattress, the spring sinking gently beneath my weight. There's only one person who could have done this. Fox.

[G]

Chapter 8 Fox, you need to rest, morgan says from her place on our bed. She's freshly showered and her hair lies wet around her face, the glow of the fire only adding warmth to her cheeks. I need to shovel that drift before we're completely trapped in. I pull on a pair of long underwear and then go to our closet to get the rest of the clothes I'll need. I'm used to the elements and I thrive in the cold, but digging through snow requires I wear layers so I don't get frostbite. I prefer having all my digits intact, thanks. You should at least wait until the sun comes up. Sleep for a couple of hours. I walk out of the closet. As I'm pulling a sweater over my head, Morgan has the sheet pulled down, offering me her perfect tits for feasting. I lick my lips and the desire to suck her pert nipples as if they'll provide me sustenance until she's begging for me to stop builds in my stomach.

[E]

Fox.

[G]

She pouts. Get into bed, I grunt. My wife can be persuasive, and if my need to protect her wasn't so so strong, I would do what she's asking. But I can't shut off my brain, the brain that was trained for many years to be on guard, to be smart, to pick off threats. I don't even like the idea of leaving her with a man I don't know down the hallway. If I could, I'd lock him in his room. He may not be built like me and come off as skittish, but I recognize a likeness in him. Not only could I feel it when I carried his limp body back to our cabin, but I saw the way he responded to seeing me, my wife. I heard the need he has to get to his family. The anger and fear at not being able to leave. He may present outwardly like a sheep, but I see the wolf lurking under his skin and I wonder if it would be ready to come out and play with a little, little coaxing. Lock the door after I leave, I say. Morgan rolls her eyes. Baby, he's harmless. I want to take her over my knee for that eye roll, to strap her back to the stockade and watch her come on that fake while she chokes on mine until the sun has long been in the sky. And I would be doing that if I didn't have work to do, if I didn't have two people now depending on me for survival. I get on the mattress, the bed dipping under my weight until my hand is wrapped around the column of her throat. The letters M I N E are inked on my knuckles, made bolder and more pronounced against her ivory tattooed skin by the light of the roaring fire. I smile every time I see those tattoos wrapped like a necklace around her pretty throat, not only because she is mine, but because those tattoos were inked on me by the little lamb currently in my grip. Lock the door, Morgan. I'm not gripping her throat hard, so she grins at my order. I bite my tongue at her brattiness, but my wife would not be mine if she didn't test me. It's the switch in her something I admire, but not when I'm trying to take her safety seriously. My grip tightens and I take her lower lip between my teeth and bite down until she's gasping into my mouth. Lock the door. I pull back so I can see her now dilated eyes. I know her cunt is soaking for me after that, but I'm not going to give in to her. I release her throat and she sucks in a deep breath, though the corners of her lips are still upturned. What do I get if I listen? I chuckle, the tone deep and dark. You get to continue wearing clothes in front of our guest. Morgan's eyes widen. You're a bad boy. I kiss her forehead before standing. I never claimed to be good. Nor am I. She shakes her head because I know she disagrees with that statement, but I don't take the bait. We've had this debate many times, and I'm not going to argue with her right now because I know she's attempting to distract me from leaving. I'll be back as soon as I can, and I'll use my key to get in if you're still sleeping, which I hope you are. Her smile turns mischievous at that. Morgan and I have been together since we were teens, so she knows me inside out, and we've done a lot of things. Waking her up by coming inside her would be one of the tamest things we've shared, and I know it's something she likes. I grab a sky blue beanie off the dresser and put it over my head before I lean down to give her a final kiss. Get some rest. She salutes me and my palm itches to spank her as I exit our bedroom. Once I'm out the door, I wait for 30 seconds, knowing Morgan will debate if she should follow my instructions or not. It takes 40 seconds, but eventually I hear the lock click and a warm satisfaction fills my stomach. Such a good little lamb. Sometimes.