S08.38: Seven Days In June by Tia Williams

Summary

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Fated Mates S08.38: Seven Days In June by Tia Williams

Podcast: Fated Mates – Romance Books for Novel People
Hosts: Sarah MacLean & Jennifer Prokop
Date: June 17, 2026
Book Discussed: Seven Days in June by Tia Williams

Episode Overview

In this energetic, laughter-filled episode, Sarah MacLean and Jen Prokop dive into Tia Williams’ Seven Days in June, reflecting on why it’s become a contemporary classic in romance fiction. Their discussion spans the book’s searing emotional journey, its deep sense of setting (Brooklyn/New York), the power and pain of creativity, and what it means to write (and read) stories about love, trauma, and healing. Along the way, the hosts unpack themes of yearning, generational trauma, and the unique magic of truly "fated mates," all in a tone vibrant with humor and warmth.

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Highlights & Key Discussion Points

New York, Sports, and Setting the Scene

• 00:00 – 08:20: The hosts open on a detour about the electric energy sweeping New York thanks to the Knicks’ victory (Knicks in 5), the World Cup, parades, and a city “going through it.” Sarah and Jen highlight the communal thrill of sports curses, shared city experiences, and how public events foster a sense of belonging. This segues neatly into how Seven Days in June is fundamentally a "New York book"—and an especially Brooklyn-centered one.
  • “There's just something...when something like this happens, everyone can get excited.” – Sarah, 02:24

The Romance of Fandom and Emotion

• 05:21 – 08:28: Jen draws a parallel between sports fandom and romance reading: “This is what romance fans and sports fans have in common. The human emotions are just unreal.” The hosts riff on why stories about yearning, curses, and catharsis matter, both on the court and the page.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Jalen Brunson, this man is like Sisyphus, and that basketball was his rock. He just was like, I am going to make this happen for this team.” – Jen, 06:27

Seven Days in June: Plot, Characters, and Why It Resonates

• 17:25 – 25:13:
  • Seven Days in June Summary: Eva Mercy, a single mom with chronic migraines and a cult-hit paranormal romance series (“Cursed”) juggles motherhood, her career, and her health in Brooklyn. A chance encounter with reclusive, "genius" author Shane Hall at a book festival (Brooklyn Book Fest) rekindles an intense, heartbroken connection from their troubled teenage years. Their relationship—both in the past and present—unfolds over two sets of seven tumultuous, emotionally charged days.
• Eva & Shane: Both are writers; both are wounded, complex, and have built worlds and careers around characters that are barely veiled versions of themselves and each other.
  • “If someone asked for a book about yearning, this is it.” – Sarah, 21:35

The Structure and “Yearning” Energy

• 28:42 – 38:30:
  • The book’s structure—alternating between seven formative days in their adolescence and seven days as adults—is praised for the way it captures both the “magic” and “mess” of obsessive young love, addiction, and trauma, versus the possibility and tentativeness of mature reconnection.
• Notable Scene (37:02):
  • Eva to Shane: “Stop writing about me.”
    Shane to Eva: “You first.”
    • “This scene is burned in my fucking brain. Perfect.” – Jen

Writing, Chronic Pain, Doubt, & Black Literary Culture

• 22:13 – 31:10:
  • Eva’s experience as a Black woman writer in a White-dominated, often dismissive publishing world is a core thread; she faces internal and external doubts about the “value” of her work compared to “serious” literary fiction. This is mirrored in her chronic pain—something she fiercely hides—and in her motherhood, her friendships, and her relationship with her own (difficult) mother.

Trauma, Addiction, and Authentic Adult Emotion

• 40:50 – 47:02:
  • Jen argues the book isn’t a typical “second chance romance” because Eva and Shane’s first love was fundamentally shaped by trauma, addiction, pain, and a lack of agency—making their adolescent “shot” at love impossible to sustain.
  • The duo praise Tia Williams for not romanticizing the teen years but instead showing their messy, heartbreaking reality, and for weaving adult, narrative maturity into how Eva and Shane confront their past as grown-ups.

“HFN” (Happy For Now), Emotional Realism, and Breaking Romance Rules

• 49:14 – 54:50:
  • The hosts reflect on the book’s “HFN” rather than traditional HEA (happily ever after) ending, and how Seven Days in June brilliantly breaks genre rules by focusing less on tidy resolution and more on real, fragile, hard-won growth and self-forgiveness.
  • “For a lot of romance readers, I could see them being like, wait, this isn't really what I expected, but the book does such a magnificent job of making them real characters.” – Jen, 51:07

Family, Generational Loops, and Humor

• 53:35 – 61:09:
  • Audre/Audra—the whip-smart, therapist-in-training daughter—is a fan-favorite character adding comic relief, generational nuance, and heart to the narrative.
  • “Her side-hustle is therapist to other kids in her class... There’s a hilarious moment when Eva walks in on a crew of tweens, including a 16-year-old boy, and the banter is perfection.” – Sarah, 54:57
  • The loop of family trauma, protection, and parental missteps is echoed across Eva, her daughter, and her mother—a recurring concern in Williams’ work.

Honesty & Adult Conflict

• 66:57 – 74:50:
  • Sarah celebrates how adult the conflict resolution is: characters communicate, own their mistakes, confront their feelings openly, and reject easy plot misunderstandings.
  • “One of the failings of romance is that characters do not always behave in an adult way… Tia refuses to take the easy way out.” – Sarah, 71:43
  • Notable Quote:
    • “I don't write about you. I write for you. I write to you.” – Shane, paraphrased by Sarah, 74:30

Endings, Fated Mates, and the Book’s Magic

• 75:23 – 88:44:
  • Some debate over whether readers will be satisfied by the “hopeful” but not perfectly tidy ending.
  • The hosts agree that Eva and Shane are rare—true "fated mates" in contemporary romance, thanks to the book’s deft construction of inevitability, magic, and longing that feels both contemporary and mythic.
• Handling Teen Years in Romance:
  • “Tia resists the urge to make their teenage love magical in a way that feels unrealistic or too tidy... If these two had gotten together at 18, it would have been a mess.” – Sarah, 89:03

Craft, Humor, and Lasting Impact

• 82:55 – 92:13:
  • Special praise is reserved for Williams' biting humor, her observational wisdom (“what it means to be human or to exist in the world...the way Eva’s world works”), and her vivid sense of place and time.
  • “Laugh out loud...the dialogue is hilarious—but also full of those tiny, perfect moments that stick with you.” – Jen, 85:15

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “This is what romance fans and sports fans have in common. The human emotions are just unreal.” – Jen, 06:24
• “If someone asked for a book about yearning, this is it.” – Sarah, 21:35
• “Stop writing about me.” / “You first.” – Eva & Shane (paraphrased), 37:02
• “I don't write about you. I write for you. I write to you.” – Shane, 74:30
• "Tia’s work is so fearless... Instead of the misunderstanding, these characters do—they look each other in the eye.” – Sarah, 72:23
• “These two are fated mates. Not all second chances are—these two are.” – Sarah, 86:13

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Timeline of Key Segments

• 00:00 – 08:20: Knicks/NY sports euphoria, setting the city’s communal mood
• 17:25 – 25:13: Book premise, character overview, initial thoughts
• 28:42 – 38:30: Panel scene, “yearning,” slow reveal of Eva & Shane’s shared past
• 40:50 – 47:02: Exploring trauma, authenticity of second chances, dual timelines
• 49:14 – 54:50: Structure, HFN vs. HEA, breaking romance conventions
• 53:35 – 61:09: Family, Audra’s role, mother-daughter dynamics, humor
• 66:57 – 74:50: Adult conflict & honesty, genre observations, gendered expectations
• 75:23 – 88:44: Ending(s), fated mates, handling teen years
• 82:55 – 92:13: Humor, sense of place, craft, and closing thoughts on Tia Williams’ work

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Final Thoughts & Recommendations

• The hosts enthusiastically recommend Seven Days in June as both a deeply emotional, genre-expanding romance and a perfect summer read—both sexy and richly layered.
• They also shout out Tia Williams’ new book The Missed Connection and the YA spinoff (Audra and Bash Are Just Friends), noting that Williams’ wit and insight keep elevating each new work.
• Listeners are encouraged to join the Fated Mates Discord or Patreon for more discussion.

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In Summary

Seven Days in June isn’t just another love story—it’s an exploration of art, pain, healing, and human messiness, told with rare heart, relentless humor, and unforgettable yearning. Whether you’re a romance veteran or a skeptic, Sarah and Jen make the case that Tia Williams’ masterful novel should not be missed.

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For further discussion:

• What other contemporary romances capture “fated mates” energy?
• How does yearning work in romance, and when is it most effective?
• In what ways do we want contemporary romance to break (or not break) the rules?

(Discussion continues on the Fated Mates Discord and Patreon.)

Transcript

[Sarah McLean]

Or should we say Knicks in five,

[Jennifer Prokop]

Jen Nicks in five. Sarah.

[Sarah McLean]

I know, I know.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I want to hear.

[Sarah McLean]

Very exciting.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Okay, so we are recording the night after Nixon 5 happened. I want to hear all about everyone.

[Sarah McLean]

The New York Knickerbockers are a basketball team, a men's NBA basketball.

[Jennifer Prokop]

They're named after pants. And I just think that's charming. Pants. You know, I personally, if I were to find a basketball team would definitely be like the Chicago hard pants.

[Sarah McLean]

I don't know why. You know, we need to, we. What we need to do is patch Joanna Shupin.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes.

[Sarah McLean]

For just like a quick question on Knickerbocker.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

As it. Because it is like a New York thing that people say. But do we say that because of the Knicks? No, that's like a term.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I, Yeah, I don't. I could not tell you. I will tell you this. Everyone might be surprised while you're looking that up because I can see that's

[Sarah McLean]

what I'm going to look it up. Everybody. You, Jen, you.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'm going to take over from here.

[Sarah McLean]

Exactly.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Because I am a late to life basketball fan. I found my way to the MNBA mostly after the WNBA. But Mr. Reed's romance is a lifelong basketball fan and what he says is all you have to do for the MNBA is pay attention to the finals. Which I was happy to do especially because if you may remember, everyone listening at home, I went to Villanova and everyone calls this team the Nova Knicks because three of their starters played together for Villanova and then won the NCAA tournament in 2018. And so I was like, oh yeah, this is my team. Even though I'm not a New Yorker. But I feel that this was, I mean, pretty much outside of San Antonio, everyone's team was the Knicks. That's how I feel.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean, with apologies to our San Antonio listeners. It just feels like when they're. I was saying last. So Eric and I went out last night. We went to dinner in the city and it was like electric. It was.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, I can only imagine there was.

[Sarah McLean]

We got in the. Of course we've been getting messages. Listen, New York's going through it. We had, you know, the MNBA finals. We had the World cup is happening. It's too much here around. I don't actually, I haven't turned my gaze to the World cup yet. So I can only focus on what one sport at a time. But we've been getting a lot of like they're on every road, every major road. There are like sign. There's signage that's like, don't drive your cars. And then we got. We've been getting text messages, like, regularly about, like, do not drive into the city, you dummies, because it's gonna be crazy. And the truth is, if we had left. So we took the subway in.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And I mean, the subway when we got on was more packed than it should be for the time we got on it. And it was full of people wearing, you know, blue and orange, all headed in to parties and bars and the, you know, the public viewing spaces. And there has been had, you know, they. The mayor blocked off multiple places in the city for, like New Yorkers to go and congregate and like, watch this, have this, like, shared experience, which is really remarkable.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Sarah McLean]

There's just something. And, And I don't think this is special to New York. I think every city has this kind of like, when something like this happens, everyone is ex. Everybody can get excited. But we were at dinner last night and about, I don't know, I don't know, the game started at like 8, so it was like 9:15. And I said to the waiter, like, do you know the score? And he instantly was like, this is the score. They're down. Like. And then we just started talking because he was like, I grew up in the Bronx and like the next. I remember the 90s. I remember all the ways that we've been burned in the past. And I said, like, listen, everyone loves a curse. Like, I mean, yeah, like, yes, obviously, if you're not into basketball and you've never been to a basketball game, you're into it in the finals because you're into it in the, like, whatever.

[Elle]

Sure.

[Jennifer Prokop]

But if you are a sports fans at all, you know, a sports curse is like a real thing.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean, and I grew up in New England. I was not a Red Sox fan. But like, I grew up with like the most famous sports curse of all time, the Curse of the Bambino.

[Jennifer Prokop]

A big curse. A big, well known curse.

[Sarah McLean]

Reverse that. I mean, like, we people wore T shirts that said reverse the curse from my entire childhood. So I think that's the other thing. It's like, it hasn't been. It's been 50 years.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So fun. Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

You know, look at Spike Lee. I saw. Look at.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I did too, with.

[Sarah McLean]

With him aging.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes.

[Sarah McLean]

Amazing Spike Lee through the years. Anyway, so it was pretty great. And like, listen, the moment that, you know, the buzzer rang out.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, it must have been amazing.

[Sarah McLean]

If I hadn't been watching my neighborhood

[Jennifer Prokop]

you would have told. You would have told.

[Sarah McLean]

You told me because the horns started honking, and then it was a solid 30 minutes of fireworks.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Amazing. Awesome.

[Sarah McLean]

Just like. And just felt, like right over the fence, like, very close to my house.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You know, I was thinking, of course, everything's back to romance with us. And if you were watching everybody, if you haven't, I'm sure there's video of this after they won. So Jalen Brunson, who was one of the Villanova guys, essentially, like, really carried this team through. I mean, this man is like Sisyphus, and that basketball was his rock. He just was like, I am going to make this happen for this team. In fact, in the game, in game five, I think the Knicks scored, like, 92 points or something, and he scored 45 of them by himself. Like, he almost essentially outscored all his other teammates on his own team. Right. And he was the lead, you know, the MVP of the. Of the series, which totally makes sense. And at the end, and it's like, immediately after it happens, okay, two things happened. So charming. One is he, like, put a towel over his face, and I was like, he's crying, having feelings. Right. There's a group text, but Sarah and I have. With our husbands. And I was like, feelings happening. Right. But then he was talking to a reporter who. This man could not make words. I was like, literally, like, oh, this is what it means to be speechless. And I just found myself thinking, like, this is what romance fans and sports fans have in common. Like, the human emotions are, like, just unreal. Right. So, yeah, I had a lot of fun watching keeping an Eye on this whole series and was very excited to see my team win the Pope. You know, the Pope's on your side.

[Sarah McLean]

Nixon 5, if the popes are on your side. I mean, I did. I risked my reputation by at some point saying, okay, but the poetry of it really should be Nixon 6. Not for the actual side Masonic poetry of it, although that, too. But, like, they won in San Antonio, and, like. But then, as Eric pointed out last night, if they'd want in New York, I'm not sure.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, New York would still be standing. Maybe it's good to have that distance.

[Sarah McLean]

Right?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Anyway. And then today is the Puerto Rican Day parade, which, if you've ever been in a New Yorker, like, that's a really fun, like, crazy time.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And then.

[Sarah McLean]

And then we turn our gaze to the Byzantine rules of the World Cup.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, it's true.

[Sarah McLean]

Last night we did take a car home from the restaurant, and the guy Our driver, who is from Algiers was like. He was like, let me tell you all about how the World cup went today. So we got the update. People are either like wearing their blue and yellow or their blue and orange or they're wearing their.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Their team, their World Cups colors. Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And you know, it was. I mean, it's just. It's a very fun time here. It's going to be, you know, it's mom Donnie's. Mom Donnie's first year as mayor is really going.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Gangbusters.

[Jennifer Prokop]

We should have. Okay. You remember my brother loves soccer and his new girlfriend is like a soccer pro. She's like, putting together this, like, women's soccer league. She's like, in Cleveland. So, like, she's like, super awesome. We should have her on to talk about soccer with us.

[Sarah McLean]

That would be really fun. Maybe we should. You know, I know you never got through season three of Ted Lasso, but season four is a. Is a woman's soccer team. See, maybe you start fresh again.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Maybe.

[Sarah McLean]

Maybe I clear the slate.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Let that all go and start fresh. I like it.

[Sarah McLean]

I'll bring you up to speed.

[Elle]

I like it.

[Sarah McLean]

Dating who?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure. All I want. You know what I've got to say. I really am just still team Roy and Keely. I just need those two crazy kids to work it out.

[Sarah McLean]

I feel. Feel very similarly about Roy and Keeley. And what I will say is. So I think I've said this on a recent episode is that we just rewatched it with Victoria, my daughter.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And she. And you know, she's about to be in the eighth grade. You know, she goes into eighth grade next year. And the watching it, I mean, Eric and I were like, oh, season three, we're gonna have to suffer through it again. And I will say on the rewatch, season three worked better for me.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Good.

[Sarah McLean]

Though I'm still pissed off about like all of the rom com promise. That didn't. Yeah, that didn't come to fruition.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sometimes there's a rough part in the middle of a series. Sarah. What? Sometimes there's a rough part in the middle of the series. There is. We had a.

[Sarah McLean]

We had a.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Someone shows up at the game and ruins the whole vibe. And then you can come back out of it and win the whole series.

[Sarah McLean]

Exactly. And so we are now we are back and season four starts in August and we're in it. I mean, listen, Hannah Waddingham is back and that's really all that matters.

[Jennifer Prokop]

There you go. Boom.

[Sarah McLean]

So. Well, we should welcome everyone. Welcome everyone to fated mates I'm Sarah McLean. I read romance novels and I write them.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And I'm Jennifer Prokop, a romance reader and editor.

[Sarah McLean]

And Jen, I saw a bunch of people at the Mary Kay Andrews event on Friday.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

People came out who were to listen to the podcast.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So fun.

[Sarah McLean]

It was really fun. And, you know, Mary Kay's great and fun time.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, good. That's good. You know, I was gonna say, I have not really like you. The Byzantine rules of the World cup have escaped me. But I have been enjoying posts from people around the world discovering crazy things about America. Right. Like, so fun.

[Sarah McLean]

Like bottomless chip baskets.

[K]

Yes.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Or like these Scottish people discovering tailgating. Which, be fair, as a teenager, I was like, wait a minute. So you just drive up your car into the parking lot and you just, like, party out of the drink in the parking lot.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean, it is so American, though, when you really think about it. You're like, so we just drink in the parking lot.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure. What a time. So I have been enjoying that, and I figure I'll, you know, tune into the World cup at some point.

[Sarah McLean]

You know, I said this. We. You and Kate and I have our chat, and Kate said she's. Some of them she doesn't really believe are real.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And I think she's probably right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Sarah McLean]

We're about to see a bunch of AI, like, take over that genre of. Of video slash post. But I will tell you, I am, like, somewhat moved by some of them. You know, these, like. Yeah, you know this. The. The Italian who discovered free refills on Coca Cola and then was like. Was with his partner and who was like, you have to stop. Like, you cannot keep drinking. And he's like, but it's free.

[Jennifer Prokop]

You're like, baby.

[Sarah McLean]

And so what they're all realizing is, like, how Americans come to pass. Because.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, so it's like.

[Sarah McLean]

And that. But my favorite one, which is a little. Was pretty, like, dark, honestly, is an English post. An English person posted that they had gone to, like, a pharmacy and they bought a bottle of Tylenol acetaminophen.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And it had like 500 pills in it. And she was like, you don't understand. Like, in England, we need to have. I don't know if they have to have a prescription or, like, you can only get it. You have to get permission from the pharmacist. You can only get it in, like, bottles of 50. And she's like, this is crazy.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, it's going to.

[Sarah McLean]

And the reply to you, we don't have national health care. So all we have is, like, massive amounts done. I mean, it's.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That's really true. You're like, this is really all we have.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, yeah, this is. This is what we do. Instead of going to the doctor, we just, like. You're like, eat it like candy. I don't know what to say.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I mean, my favorite is when, like, you're really so bad off that you have to, like, do the Tylenol Advil. Like, I can't do it anymore because I'm allergic to Advil. But, like, you know, it's like, Tylenol, two hours. Advil, two hours. You're like, yeah, this is all really. I have.

[Sarah McLean]

Exactly. Well, exactly. America, what a country, as my father would say. So. So now, here we go. And. And I also like all the. One, I like the videos of, like, the town of Lawrence, Kansas, welcoming the Algiers.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

You know, World cup team. Like, welcome to Lawrence, Kansas. We're so happy you chose us as your home base. And I'm like, what an odd thing.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, and this is the part, like, I didn't actually realize until I was gonna say this is the one I saw was. So apparently, like, all of the teams were, like, assigned places to kind of be their home base. And a lot of the people in those places have adopted that team as, like, their team. And so I read about a guy, I think, in, like, West Virginia who thought everybody spoke Norwegian. And finally they were like, no. Like, you're just our home team now, which is very charming. Isn't that sweet?

[Sarah McLean]

I know. Well, I mean, if you live in a small town, sure, maybe not super small, but, like, Lawrence, Kansas, is not New York City.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

And they're like. And what I love is, like, the people. One guy there was a video, and he was like, well, we know they're on the Mediterranean and that the southern part is in northern. Is in the Sahara. We know. And he was like. He was like the CIA World Fact book.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, well, you know, before they took it offline. Welcome to our new world of time.

[Sarah McLean]

Right. Well, Wikipedia.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sarah McLean]

I know, but it was, like, almost two, and there are major exports, you

[Jennifer Prokop]

know, soybeans and olive oil or whatever. Amazing.

[Sarah McLean]

So, anyway, listen, I love it because I love anything where it feels like large groups of diverse people come together and are cool.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Agree, agree. Because the whole point of the World cup, one might say, if we were

[Sarah McLean]

all just cool with each other.

[Jennifer Prokop]

True. It is true.

[Sarah McLean]

Anyway, I would like. But we're going to talk about this fun book.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

This is the characters in which are definitely Nick's fans.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, 100%. This is, I was thinking as I was reading, I was like, this is a great book to do this week. This week's episode of Fated Mates is brought to you by Frederick Smith, author of Love is a Contact Sport.

[Sarah McLean]

So this is a book about a romance novelist. So a perfect episode for this ad. After a rough breakup, gay romance author Rennie Ross heads to the San Francisco Bay Area for a fresh start. He has a new gig writing the anniversary story for a local university, and this is supposed to be a fresh, new chapter in his life. Unfortunately, Rennie is about to run into a familiar face from his past. Or, very fortunately for us, everybo unfortunate. Exactly. After dropping off his youngest child at college, recently divorced, Brent is on a journey to freedom, liberation, and finally, finally being able to live the life that he has put on hold for 20 years to raise his family. He is newly out, he is newly single, and he is trying to figure everything out and is, you know, understandably hesitant to jump into the pool of the Bay Area gay scene, a legendary place in its own right. But then he has a chance reunion with his first real crush and a guy he never quite forgot, our friend Rennie. So these two never expected a second chance. But working together at the same university, by the way, the same university, that is the setting for Frederick Smith's earlier book, One and Done, which we love. Perfect. They are working together here. Things, feelings are being stirred up. Brent and Rennie aren't able to really keep their eyes or hands away from each other. And now this love that they have, it doesn't have to be a secret anymore. So they just have to get it right this time.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Perfect. So this book comes out this week and has elements of both pride and Juneteenth celebration. So this is like, obviously the perfect week to buy this book. We love Frederick here at the podcast. The book is available in print and in ebook. So if your podcast gap supports, you can click on the chapter title right now to be taken to buy the book. Thanks to Frederick Smith for sponsoring this week's episode. So we're reading Seven Days in June. We've mentioned this Tia Williams. When this book came out, we had

[Sarah McLean]

Tia on the podcast.

[Jennifer Prokop]

She has a new book out this month, but Seven Days, the Missed Connection. Yeah, it's June, so Seven Days in June is like a really fun book for us to talk about. And it's a very New York book. And so.

[Sarah McLean]

Oh, it's a real Brooklyn book, right? Yeah, more than anything, It's a real Brooklyn.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. And so I was really. I was like, oh, this is also, like, the synergy of this felt really pleasing to me. So.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah. Well, so Tia was on in season three, and we talked about writers in romance, the kind of overwhelming number of books that are about writers in romance these days, which feels like it is. And I'm sure we. I did not re. Listen to the episode, but I'm sure we talked then about the fact that, like, romance writer. Like, writers of romance were not common in the early days.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right now, I feel like it's more common. Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Them quite a bit, I think.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

So we are so. Yeah. I mean, this is. This is a book that we have. We've loved for a long time, I think. Did you put it on the best of the year list?

[Jennifer Prokop]

So, you know, it's so funny, Sarah. I was Think I spent a lot of time thinking about them reading it

[Sarah McLean]

for the first time and being like, this book is a banger.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. Well. And that, in fact, it happened. But I will tell you. And I now, like, looking back, I. I understand why I did this, but I do now have regrets, which is I didn't put it on the best of the year list because we were partnering with whatever bookstore. Maybe it was still poc. Maybe it was pocketbooks. And I was like, it's in hardback. And I felt like it would sort of be like a. You know what I mean? And now I'm like, really? That was like, a major concern of mine.

[Sarah McLean]

All the rocks are so expensive.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. But at the time, I was kind of like, is this gonna mean that the whole box won't. You know, it just felt kind of like. And I think it was very clear to both of us at that point that, like, Tia Williams was gonna be someone producing great books in romance for a really long time. And so I think at one point, whatever. Was it two years ago? Maybe Ricky Wilde, I think maybe you put on. So I was kind of like, I love that book.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So I was kind of like, you know what? It's okay. But looking back, especially on the reread, I was like, okay, past me was stupid. But also, I think now that so many more books are in hardback, I think we've just sort of let go of, like, worrying about format. Like, if we say this is like a best of the year, we're just gonna say it's the best of the. Of the year and not worry about, like, any of that stuff.

[Sarah McLean]

You can read it now. You can read it in Paperback when

[Jennifer Prokop]

it comes out or right now, seven Days in June is in Kindle Unlimited. And so it is just kind of one of those things where I also. Now we're how many years into making a best of the year list? And back then it felt kind of new, you know, and so anyway. But yes, I didn't. And I wish I would have, but, you know, whatever. Past me made different choices.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean, it's.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's.

[Sarah McLean]

But the best thing about it is that we get to do it again now.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Exactly.

[Sarah McLean]

So here we are talking about. Talking about Eva and Shane. Both writers. Both writers and star crossed. That's the. If somebody were to say, like, I love a book. I love. You know, can you recommend me a book with like, first of all, we need to have a real conversation romance about the word yearning. The way we're using it. Because it feels like that's like. This book is about. This book is about yearning.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. You know, I. I really found myself on the reread. Just really feeling like a. Like, I don't know, it's hard. It's hard to say this like, right. Like. But like really feeling like, wow. God, this book is so. Such a rich text. It's doing so much. Everything about it is so amazing. There's so many about it. I love, you know, that romance does really well and, you know, feeling like, I hope this isn't something we've lost. Well, so moving on from there, let's just.

[Sarah McLean]

Maybe we'll get there. Okay. So briefly, let's go over kind of what this book is. So we meet Eva, our heroine, Genevieve. We meet Eva Mercy, the author of the cursed series, which is like, essentially, it's like Twilight meets Suki Stackhouse meets.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure.

[Sarah McLean]

You know.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

You know, I don't know Immortals After Dark.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, every.

[Sarah McLean]

Except it's one character. It's like, it's so. It is more like Twilight meets Sookie Stackhouse.

[K]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

Um, and it's, you know, it's a. It's a black Romantasy slash paranormal romance series and it's got a group of fans who are.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh yeah, Die Hards wild for it.

[Sarah McLean]

Dress like the character. You know, cosplay. Right. Fic. Do the whole thing. They have a massive Facebook group where. And this. This is. This is some of the stuff will like date like now on the reread, you're like, oh, like this Facebook group.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Like, you know what, though? I wanna. That's on my list of things to talk about later once we talk about the plot. Like. Yeah, yeah, so we meet Eva at a. Essentially like a luncheon with some of

[Sarah McLean]

her superfans and she. And she's having a migraine and she, I mean she suffers from debilitating migraines. This is an important sort of piece of the story, right?

[Jennifer Prokop]

And she. I think the thing that's like really fascinating about it is this is something she keeps really secret from her f. And it's something that has. Because people with essentially like not a diagnosed thing, right. But like pain as like I'm just in pain all the time. It took her. She was self medicated through a lot of her high school and college years. It took her a really long time to find doctors who would like treat her. And so now she has sort of like medicines she can take, like sort of injectable medicine and all this stuff that's like sort of more official. But you know, she'd spent time hospitalized. So this is a really big part of her life. And she's also very young. She's what, like probably 32 at the beginning of the book, maybe under 35. And has a daughter who is like 12, a seventh grader, Audra, who

[Sarah McLean]

later in Tia's career she will ultimately write a YA romance about the daughter, which is.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I started reading it. So we talk about that when we get to the end. Charming.

[K]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And she's just like doing it herself. Right. She's a single mom in Brooklyn who makes money off of this series. But the demands of this series are really kind of overwhelming her. But this is how she pays her mortgage and pays her kids tuition. And she has a book due in three days.

[Sarah McLean]

She basically, she is basically not started.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Basically not started. And this. And I've gotta tell you, like her as a character. Eva's like voice, her way of seeing the world, it is so like perfectly defined. I don't know. And like I forgot how funny this book is. Oh, it's so funny, right? Like, it's so funny.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean also because, you know, Eva's not alone on an island. She has lovely like great group of friends. She's this like hilarious relation and very relatable by the way, relationship with her editor. You know, she has her daughter. Her daughter has, you know, her daughter comes with like school and this kind. Like you, you have a very sort of vivid picture of the way this woman lives her life, the way Eva lives her life, but also the way she really juggles.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. Everything a million balls.

[Sarah McLean]

Like there is a sense of like there is no. On any. At any moment, if one thing goes out of kilter, off kilter or out of whack for her.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

It is going to be a disaster because she really is holding it all together the way so many of us do.

[K]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

She's a single mom. She cares so much about her daughter having the experience. She had a. You know, Eva had a terrible sort of not great childhood and not a great relationship with her own mom. Like, it was a mess. She's really committed to, like, her daughter having the best possible life, like, full of opportunity that she didn't have, which we'll get. I assume we will get to her because she is the best character. And then on top of it. Yeah. Like, this kind of constant. Tia really, like, articulates the constant pressure of not only I have to deliver a book every year, I have to feed the beast, but also, like, the immense pressure that comes with being. With writing a series that readers feel ownership over.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So you might be wondering, well, okay, like, who's the love interest? And the thing that's, like, really clear from the beginning. Right. Is, like, we're in. Eva's point of view is that these two characters she's written in her curse series, Sebastian and Gia, are, like, everyone's obsessed with Sebastian, Right. Like a typical romance hero. I'm sure he's, like, this, like, dirtbag vampire or whatever. And there's something about, like, the way if they. You know, it's kind of Buffy and Angel coded as well, and if they, like, have sex, he, like, essentially, the minute he comes or whatever, like, ends up on the other part of the world, like, just, like, disappears.

[Sarah McLean]

A great idea, by the way, would read.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right. I was like, exactly. I'm like, tia, where is this book? Okay, so the thing that is really clear to us almost from the beginning is that, like, these characters are based on her and this, like. Like, Right. Based on the title, like.

[Sarah McLean]

Shh.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Or, like, what? You want to talk about Shane yet or. No, I do.

[Sarah McLean]

I think we need to talk about Shane. But I'm saying you said it's very clear from the beginning. It is not very clear from the beginning.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

No, I would say, like, what's going on here?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, it's not clear what's going on

[Sarah McLean]

until a very sort of powerful moment.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. But it is clear that there's something the fans don't know about what she's really writing about. I guess I would say. How about. I'd say that, like, you're not sure what it is, but you can tell that, like, this is something that she's withholding from the fans.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah, yeah. And so then we move to like, it's like the Brooklyn Book Fest.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Like a kind of book festival type or a book panel about black literature. And she is on a panel with, you know, a preeminent black poet, kind of like kind of an. A black essayist. Yeah, it's, you know, the three of them. And the mod is the moderator.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Moderator is her editor, right?

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah, the moderator is. Is her editor who is in her own right, like a very great character through here. Like just a woman who, like at one point it's. She describes, you know, the power that this editor has in publishing. And there's something sort of like deeply old fashioned about this kind of like editorial power where, you know, if she reads a manuscript, she basically can acquire whatever she wants. She has a true eye for a bestseller. Like at one point, you know, Tia suggests that she basically gives Michelle Obama the idea for her memoir. And it's very charming. So anyway, so we're at this festival, the authors are all discussing kind of the state of black literature, and well, Eva is.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Can I just add one thing? It's really important to know that Eva was like a last minute addition to the panel from her editor and that Eva has always felt that her presence in sort of the black literati kind of circles of Brooklyn and New York has been conditional because of what she writes.

[Sarah McLean]

Yes. And she's taking some heat on this panel for what she writes. And it's probably worth. And we will get to it, I'm sure, but it's worth talking about the fact that like all this heat that she gets, like all the, like kind of this sort of push pull of the literati and the. The way she is engaging with New York City and publishing has kind of. She has internalized as like what she writes isn't very valuable.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. Right.

[Sarah McLean]

And so, you know, that's an important thing for everybody to sort of know. And then there's sort of a hush falls out of the crowd.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's spectacular. Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And suddenly like literally there's like a temperature shift in the room. And there in the room is Shane.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This week's episode of Fate Inmates is brought to you by the what in the Smut podcast.

[Sarah McLean]

So what in the Smut is a fun romance podcast. I mean, it's romance and erotica. And it started with two romance fans who wanted to do a podcast about sentient object romance, but has since become a podcast about just sort of the deep end of the bananas Jacuzzi in The romance pool.

[Jennifer Prokop]

High up on the banana tree, if you will.

[Sarah McLean]

Exactly. So you can listen to them talk about books like My Date with Bubble Tea. Most recently they did a book called Cirrus about yout, which I assume is about a cloud of some kind. I mean, sure nodded by the Beast. So there's our Omegaverse for our Omegaverse fans in the crowd. And of course, Mo recently they've done pounded in the butt by my handsome sentient library card, who seems otherworldly, but in reality is just a natural part of the priceless resources our library system provides.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Everyone, Chuck Tingles.

[Sarah McLean]

There has to be Chuck Tingle.

[Jennifer Prokop]

That one. So.

[Sarah McLean]

But anyway, you. You should go take a look at the Wet in this month podcast if you need a big belly laugh or you want to shock your mechanic.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. So if you are interested, at the end of this episode, we'll have a preview of a what in the Smut podcast for you to enjoy. You can also find them on Instagram at the Witch Pod and find the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever your pod, wherever you listen to your podcasts. Thanks to K and L and the what in the Smut podcast for sponsoring this week's episode.

[Sarah McLean]

So Shane hall is. He is like. I mean, he's just a genius. He's sort of known. He's written four books. They're all related to a singular character.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Eight.

[Sarah McLean]

Eight and she. And like. And Eight is the. Eight is the narrator of all of these books. But, like, there's something about these books. He's basically like.

[Jennifer Prokop]

He's like a literary genius. Right. He's writing Litvik. Everyone's like, oh, my God, Shane hall is here. He's this man of mystery, does interviews, right?

[K]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, there's a certain amount of. He never talks. He's sort of famous for, like, having been in interviews, being asked questions and, like, walking away.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, never engages with any of it. Like, there's, you know, at one point she gets really pissed off at him and she's like, you just like, can refuse to do social media because, like, on principle.

[K]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And that's, you know, like, she doesn't have that luxury. He's. He's really, like, elevated and, like, revered. And so the room is like, holy shit, Shane hall is here. And then they share an editor, and her editor is basically like, get up here.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, you get to be on the panel too. Your fault for showing up.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Sure.

[Sarah McLean]

And what we don't know is that Shane has, like, a reason for having had all these Years of mystery, like, for not answering questions, not doing media, whatever. But we don't know what that is at this point. And so Shane gets up on the stage, and it becomes very clear very quickly that these two know each other.

[Elle]

Oh, yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's an amazing scene.

[Sarah McLean]

Well, first of all, Eva is freaking

[Jennifer Prokop]

out completely, and Shane is a little bit too, right? Like, there's a part where she looks over and sees that he's, like, ripping the microphone so tightly that she can sort of see. Right. Like, and this is, like, the level at which they know each other. Right. Like, they can read their body language. That might be hidden a little bit from people in the audience, but not really. It's. The chemistry between these two is so electric that even, like, the dumb essayist can tell that, like, something is going on. Right.

[Sarah McLean]

And Eva has this thing where she, like, she has an instinct for fight or flight.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

As a character. And in this case, she can't flight, so she decides to fight. And she basically kind of calls him out for, like, writing. First person, a young woman who has been through, like, a fair amount of trauma, like, who's had these, like, kind of terrible experiences. And she's like, how can you dream of, you know, really just, like, kind of needling him. And he turns to her and he says, well, you do it with masculinity. And I've never seen anybody do it so well.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I mean, he's, like, pontificating and to the point where she, like, kind of looks out at the audience and, like, can almost, like, see them all ordering the books on Amazon, because, of course, nobody knew. Right. If Shane hall says this is worth reading, then it's worth reading.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I mean. And that's the other part. Like, and it's.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean, he just. He seduces her in this moment with, like, his adoration for her text.

[K]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And she's, like, kind of shocked he's read them all, and. But he's read. He's like. He's basically like, I'm your biggest fan.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes. Yes. Now, here is. I will tell you, everybody, I am not a person who has, like, a really. I'm gonna say the dumbest thing right now, which is, like, I remember, obviously, a lot of romance books, but I don't necessarily remember a lot of, like, romance lines. Right. Like, somebody says something. Somebody else, and I'm like, oh, it's on.

[Sarah McLean]

No, this is crazy.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So at the end of this scene, right, they're, like, sort of in the ballroom afterwards, and people are kind of watching them, and they're sort of like, you know, like, circling each other in the room. And then finally they kind of like, you know, she calls him over to her and they are just like. Again, it's like sort of like sexy, tension filled. Everything is at 11. Like, the whole rest of the room sort of falls away because it's like they're back together again. And we as readers are kind of like, what the fuck is going on? And then there's this amazing moment, right, where she says, essentially, now remember, he's only written four books, she's written 14. And she says, stop writing about me. And he basically says, you first. And I mean, this scene is burned in my fucking brain. Perfect. And this is when we understand, like, she is eight, right. He is writing her and he is Sebastian. She is writing him. And they have been. They. Yeah, they have been. Now I'm like, we had a Sebastian show.

[K]

I.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So dumb. They have been writing to each other and about each other and about their feelings for what they experienced for 15 years.

[K]

Yep.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And then we. The next chapter is, right. We get this flashback to when they were seniors in high school. So.

[Sarah McLean]

But before we get to that, to the past, can we also talk about. So they are very bad at hiding this from the whole world. Everyone's like, what the fuck? Like, her. Her editor is like, are you telling me that all the times we have ever talked about him and we talk about him a lot. Black literature is not a huge pool.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

Also my clients. Not a huge pool.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

You have known each other. And then it becomes clear that, like, the audience clocked it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Because people have posted to the, like, Facebook group.

[K]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And here's where Sarah comes online that

[Jennifer Prokop]

they have matching tattoos.

[Sarah McLean]

Well, he has one that has. His is. His has a G for Gia, which

[Jennifer Prokop]

is Genbiev, of course. Right, right. They don't know that, but yeah, exactly.

[Sarah McLean]

And she has always told her readers that her. The S on her in that is tattooed on her is Sebastian's signature.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

Of course. It's Shane, right?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, yeah. No, it's hot. It's hot. I think the thing that I want to talk about before we kind of talk about the past. Right. So everybody, this is a book that I think I really like. One of the reasons I really admire it is I don't think there's really any. I think you'd have to. Okay. To me, I would say this would be like, a gross misunderstanding of what, like, second chance romance is to call this second chance in some ways, because when they met as teenagers Right. They were like, basically both about to graduate from high school. They had this one week together, but it was a week fueled essentially by like them both being like drunk and high the entire time. And it's like for different reasons.

[Sarah McLean]

Right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

They're both self medicating. She's self medicating for her physical pain. He's self medicating for his emotional pain. You know, even in the. In the beginning, it's clear that he has. He's been an alcoholic. He's, you know, kind of been sober for two years. So now we. When we flashback to like the week they have there is. You know, I think like the second chance of it all to me is really interesting because when we read like a Second chance romance when they're adults, we understand like, okay, like something went wrong in the past, but now they're gonna have a chance to fix it. But when you read this book about them as kids, there's no part of you that's like, oh, these two had a chance. You know what I mean? I don't know if that makes sense.

[Sarah McLean]

Are in a mess.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes. Like, she's cutting. He is doing self harm where he's like kind of re. Breaking this arm over and over again. Right. Like, which is.

[Elle]

Okay.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's hot. Fine.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean, there is okay.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Fine. Right. Okay. Of all the things I'm about to.

[Sarah McLean]

Cause they're teenagers.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

But if you read this book and you.

[Jennifer Prokop]

There's a.

[Sarah McLean]

There's a scene sort of very early, you know, in. And basically it's how they meet. Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right. The first day they meet, like within hours.

[Sarah McLean]

Being like. It's. She's in a very like, threatening situation and then she sort of gets to school. Or there's. It's not school, but it's like. There's. They're all right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

They were. They met on the bleachers and now they're in a classroom together.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah. And there are other kids and like, they're. They're jockeying for position and that they're. And like peacocking and like sort of like really at each other. And he steps in to help her because she's like the new kid. She's really taken him in the. In the teeth. Yeah. And. And he steps in to help her and there's a fight and he's got a cast on a broken arm and he just. He hits a guy right. With the cast and re. Breaks his arm.

[K]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

To keep. To like, protect her.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. It's.

[Sarah McLean]

Listen, it's hot.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'm sorry. Like basic Well, I think also there's an implication later this week, like, she. Her mom's boyfriend essentially tries to attack her that morning, and he asks, like, who it is, and we find out later she never knows. But the reader does that. Like, Shane beat the. Out of that guy, too. And I think the thing, though, is, like, these are incredibly troubled kids. Like, you're not rooting for them to have anything, but, like, people that care about them. But you. Like, as a reader, I also understood very clearly, like, this was. They were not, regardless of whatever, like, perfect connection they felt to each other. And it is perfect. Right. Like, this is a very much like a. We fell in love at first sight, and then we needed 15 years to straighten our shit out. Right.

[Elle]

Book.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's not, you know, it's not like what they had was real either. Like, it existed in a bubble that was sort of fueled by, like, sort of their various addictions. But also, they didn't even have any real agency over their own lives. Right. And so this, to me, like, you know, reading these scenes with them, it's, like, heartbreaking.

[Sarah McLean]

Well, it's also about. It's about two people who are very. In adulthood. They are kind of forced in many ways to protect or keep secret their truth.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[K]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean, we see this the most, I think, with Eva, where, like, she's trying to be all things to all people, and she's telling lies to everybody. Not big lies, but, like. Yeah. I'm closer to the book being done than you think. Like, you know, with her daughter, it's just sort of like a constant sense of, like, trying to show that she is together.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Well.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And lying about her mother, who was pretty terrible to Eva.

[Sarah McLean]

Right, Exactly. And so there is this. And then with Shane, he, too, is, like, keeping a lot of secrets. Right?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Find out, like, he's been in AA for two years. Like, he's going through the program, or he has been through the program. Like, he has. You know, he's been suffering. You know, he's been. He's. He's been suffering alcoholism for a long time. Since he was a kid.

[K]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

That's part of why he has this, like, you know, mythology of being kind of impenetrable as an author. And when we go backwards and we see them together in that. That week, there is a real sense that, like, here are two kids who see each other for who. Who know each other's secrets. Yeah. You know, there's a moment where Genevieve stresses out, and she goes into the bathroom and closes the door and she's going to self harm. She's gonna cut herself. And he knows what she's doing and he doesn't see stop her. You know, he's also a kid. And so he goes to. But he goes to the door and he thinks to himself, like, I'm going to make sure she's not alone. So he, you know, lean. He sits down and leans on one side of the door and they talk and he's like, why do you do it?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And she explains why kids who cut do and then. Or people who cut dogs and you know, they have this like very emotional conversation that's very human and very real. And then she opens the door and he's like, the only evidence that what has happened has happened is like a tiny little band aid on her arm. And it's like, you know, Tia could have pulled that punch, right? Oh, yeah. She could have been like, I'm not going to, because. Right. But like, this is kids and their struggles.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes, right, right.

[Sarah McLean]

And the sort of magic of finding somebody who isn't trying to make you change is just gonna be with you while you struggle. This week's episode of Faded Mates is sponsored by W by Wattpad Books, publishers of Nicole Alfrine's brain games.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So if you love like a medical drama on tv, think Chicago Med or Grey's Anatomy or Scrubs, then you are going to love this book. It is about Delilah and Bradley. They have been essentially neck and neck like rivals all through four years of medical school. And they have matched at the same

[Sarah McLean]

hospital, one of the best hospitals in the country.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And they both have dreams of being neurosurgeons. And so what happens is they are of source so used to sort of this, like, rivalry, always trying to get the best scores, always trying to be the one that's like, impress their professors. Always trying to be the one to, like, essentially, you know, excel at every diagnosis when they're together sort of looking at patients. But to be the top resident at their new hospital. They're participating essentially in these brain games, essentially between the two of them, a competition where they're going to fight for the best cases and they're keeping tabs on each other to see who will finally get to assist during the first major surgery. These games seem simple enough. They're used to this, like, kind of rivalry between the two of them, but all of a sudden they notice a different sort of tension and their hidden feelings that maybe have been driving their rivalry all along come to the surface. So head and heart clash in the hospital. What's a neurosurgeon to do.

[Sarah McLean]

Oh, boy. Well, you know, I love doctors and I love rivals. To lovers. So this one is especially for me. We can all read it right now in print or ebook, wherever we get our books. And if your podcasting app supports it, you can click on the chapter title to learn more and to buy the book. Thanks to W by wattpad Books and to Nicole Alfrine for sponsoring this week's episode.

[Jennifer Prokop]

What we're trying to then see in the present, right, is are they going to be able to be that for each other, right? And this is, I would also say, like, you know, as Threads fights, 800th round of the HEA wars, to me is, like, very much a book that is, like, what I would call, like, an hfn, right? I don't think Tia would disagree. I don't know if we talked about it. You know, the structure of the book is, like, right there in the title. It's like, right? There's like, seven days in June and there. But it's like seven days in the past and then seven days in the present. So, like, right, we get these kind of one week in the life of, you know, eva and Shane, 15 years apart, and at the end of this, of the seventh day in the present, they essentially kind of agree that they love each other, but also that they're kind of, like, not ready. And then there's like, a long epilogue, right, that sort of, like, serves up, like, a very. Kind of, like, them trying to figure out, like, what that's gonna look like. And I would say that, like, for a lot of romance readers, I could see them kind of being like, wait, this isn't really what I expected, but I think that the book does such a fucking magnificent job of really making them real characters and of showing that, like, they both are. They're tied together by something that is stronger than either of them. And, you know, and so it's like. It's just, like, a really interesting book to me, too, because I feel like this is a book that breaks a lot of. Breaks a lot of rules, right? And I think that's probably one of the things that I like about it, right, because it breaks them in a way that, you know, whether or not it works for you, it's, like, a fantastic read. And I would say, like, the other thing that, to me, is, like, a really kind of interesting part of the reason it works is that Eva's character arc is so interesting to me, right? Like, she's really convinced herself that, like, she's a different person now.

[K]

Right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

She's kind of on the straight and narrow. She's raising this daughter. She's a single mom. Right. All the things we talked about at the beginning, but then when she, like, sort of gets back together with Shane, and it's kind of like, you did these things to me, and, like, you know, whatever. And he says, like, you know, I'm not the only dangerous person here. Right. There's two of us. And I think to me, that is, like, the part of the book that I find the most compelling is that, like, when they met at 17, almost 18, they were dangerous and hurting each other and hurting themselves. They didn't know how to be. And now we have to see, like, are these people who can, like, be dangerous and, like, I don't know, channel that into ways that are going to be better. Right. So a big part of it is that Eva has been sort of writing these books for 15 years, and these books have sustained her. And at the beginning, they were clearly, like, her processing everything that had happened with Shane. But this isn't like, the book of her heart. Like, now the book she really wants to write is about the women right. In her lineage. And that means going back to Louisiana, and that means sort of, like, kind of talking to her mother and asking questions. And at the end of the book, like, we see Eva finally being able to do that. And so I think, like, to me, some of the, like, hea of it all is that, like, that sense of instead of just, like, kind of trying to put those broken pieces of themselves, like, away in the closet and closing the door, of like, being able to admit, like, yeah, this is a part of who I am, too.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah. I mean, I think that there is. I also think she's. She really beautifully threads that in with the single mother story, the sort of an Audra, or it could be Audrey, but I think. I don't know what it is.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's like Audrey Lord. Audre Lorde. Right. I mean, all. Yeah, it's like Zola. Like, she's got all the middle names of, like, powerful black women.

[Sarah McLean]

So I think that what's interesting is she sort of has created this daughter who is the opposite of her, who has the opposite childhood of her.

[K]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, Audra is like. I mean, she's so put together. Her side hustle is she's 12. She's 12. And her side hustle is like, therapist to. Her dream is to be a celebrity therapist, and her side hustle is therapist to the other kids in her class, like, so she provides. Like, it's like the doctor is in style where like they come to her instead of going to like licensed therapists and they, and she, she like diagnoses them and like, keeps them, like, gives them therapy. And there's this hilarious moment really early, really early in the book where like, it's clear that like this kid is running poor Eva Ragin. And Eva comes home and there's like a collection of tweens and teens in her house, including a 16 year old boy.

[K]

Oh yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Who is like, like miscast in this crew, right? And she's like, hang on a second. He's like a head and shoulders taller than everybody else. She points to him, she's like, what? Who are you? And he's like, oh, I'm like, so and so's brother. And he's like, I'm cool though. I go to Dalton, which is like a fancy, right, Private school in the city. And she's like, yeah, I don't care. Why are you hanging out with a bunch of 12 year olds? 16. Why are you hanging out with a bunch of 12 year olds? And he's, and he's basically like your daughter, like, she gives, you know, she's, she's my therapist.

[Elle]

And.

[Sarah McLean]

And later, Audrey's like, she's like, she goes. And you, you know, you, you got involved my clients, Mom. Like you're getting, you're getting between me and my work.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I know. And Shane's like, your clients. What kind of work do you provide?

[Sarah McLean]

And then there is this like whole rigmarole where, you know, Audrey gets up, gets in trouble at school. She's going to this like posh Brooklyn private school. And through like some confluence of events, she like a video ends up online where it becomes clear that one of the teachers in this school is having an affair with or a kid's mom is having an affair with her English teacher. And like the English teacher gets fired. And there's like this. Because it's a really interesting thing because this book has so much like real meat food, character wise and like emotion wise. But like the plot itself is sort of, you know, you do still need gas in the engine.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes.

[Sarah McLean]

And so what ends up happening, and this is, I think very, very clever, is Eva gets called to Audrey's school where they, you know, the principal's basically like, she's suspended. Or she's, you know, she's suspended. And then she sort of negotiates out of suspension to like detention because like she's causing chaos in school by being A therapist.

[K]

Well.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And she's, like, taking money from the kids.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah. Yeah. And they've had to. And she's providing service.

[K]

Jennifer.

[Sarah McLean]

So. And they've had to fire this English teacher because he did this inappropriate thing with a parent. And, I mean, it's chaotic and terrible. And so he's like. And she's like, no, you cannot. You cannot. And there's this, like, kind of looming question of whether she'll be invited back next year. And Eva is losing it. She's like, you have to have her back. Like, you cannot. Like, she has to be able to come back.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. This is everything I've sacrificed for is at this school. Right? Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And the principal's like, well, I'm short an English teacher, and you better find me a great English teacher. Like somebody the other parents will be happy to pay their expensive tuition for. If you can do that, she has a spot next year.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Now comes to. I mean, perfectly lines up that Shane has been a private school English teacher through, like, most of his life.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. Like, this is how he's paying the

[Sarah McLean]

bills, though it isn't his passion by any stretch of the imagination. In fact.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Go ahead. No, he actually says, well, he likes.

[Sarah McLean]

But, yeah, he's not interested in teaching like rich kids.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right. He likes teaching.

[Sarah McLean]

He loves teaching. And he has had a really great experience with, like, it's like a juvenile

[Jennifer Prokop]

detention center, basically, at every place he's at. Because he's like this, like, kind of floating teacher. Right. Like this, like, sort of is. He makes the money at the private school, but he goes to whatever he, like, describes it. I drive around into the poorest neighborhood I can find, and I walk into one of those schools and I say, I wanna tutor here. And he has collected sort of a group of kids who he kind of is mentoring one on one. And he's kind of making.

[Sarah McLean]

But a lot of them have been through, like, what he's been through, have been in programs, have been. You know, he just came from Providence, where. And he connects with. He's constantly checking in on them. Like, they text with him. He's, like, talking to them on the phone. He's making sure that they're, like, holding it together, like, keeping it together, like, working through whatever they need to work through in order to finish high school, get themselves to a place where they can find a stable space for themselves. And this becomes this kind of. So 1. There's, you know, on the. On the teacher side, Audra's not stupid.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And she's like, I do know Somebody she discovers that Eva and Shane have been like having. Because it's posted all over the Internet, right? Have been having like some kind of relationship, by the way, like a real deal relationship, right? And she's like, are you whoring yourself out to keep me in trouble to make sure I could go to eighth grade?

[Jennifer Prokop]

And I mean, Eve at this point is like, oh my God, what is, what have I done? Essentially, like, is this because I let you watch Empire, that you have this

[Sarah McLean]

imagination, which is so funny. And there's something. I mean, listen, what I will say is I. I feel like in 2019 I did not have a 12 year old who was an only child in New York City. And now I do have a 12 year old who is an only child in New York City. And this is a very. I feel like maybe in 2019 I was like, this is like a classic romance novel. Precocious child.

[Jennifer Prokop]

No.

[Sarah McLean]

And now I'm like, oh no. This is a very like true to life character. Because I do feel like my daughter would say exactly the same thing to me if I were in this situation. But it also really tees up what happens at the end of this book, right? Because there is a, you know, obviously this is a romance novel. This is a book that has a conflict running through it. The conflict being these two are not perfect. And they are going to have to reckon with that, right? They don't. They have never really believed that they could make love work for them, you

[Jennifer Prokop]

know, or that they deserved love.

[Sarah McLean]

Eva's first husband. I mean, it's a terrible story, but like, you know, she. She met this guy, she gets pregnant, they get married, they're very young. She has these terrible migraines, debilitating migraines. She's, you know, lying. You know, she's. She's holed up in bed and he's like, this is not what I signed up for. Which is, you know, fucking terrible. But also like when you're 25, sure, right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's not what, it's not what you've signed up for, right?

[Sarah McLean]

And so, you know, he takes off. She's left with. She's left with her daughter. And I think like that and that on top of her mom, on top of all the like terrible men in her mom's life, on top of, you know, everything that happened over the course of her life has made her really feel like is like love is not for Eva. And I think Shane feels the same way. Like just sort of isolated, alone. Like he has struggled. He sees like the, the real flaws that have happened in his past, the mistakes that he's made, the challenges that he's faced. And he's not sure love is in the cards for him either, especially. But Shane, this takes me back to this takes us back to yearning. Shane's also like, there's no love in my cards as long as she's around.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Because it's always been her.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's always been her.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It's amazing.

[Sarah McLean]

And I think that's. Listen, he's a real hero.

[K]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

So that is all to say that when we get to they are in a constant sense of doubt, meaning will the other stay not because the other one isn't good enough to stay, but because I might not be good enough to stay for this week's episode of Faded Mates is sponsored by Little, Brown and Company, a wide ranging publisher with imprints across fiction and nonfiction. And the publishers of Don't Buy what I'm Selling On, Breaking Up With Advertising and Finally Learning to Love My Whole Fat Self by Lou Chaikovsky.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So Lou Tchaikovsky. This is like really kind of part memoir, part manifesto, which I think will be really interesting to our readers. So Lou Tchaikovsky was a high level advertising creative director for 14 years. Like basically her colleagues called her Mary Manifesto because she could whip up an emotional ad campaign like nobody else. But she also, as a fat woman in this world that really prioritized a certain kind of look and, you know, sort of made sometimes people feel terrible about themselves and their bodies. There was like this real cognitive dissonance for Lou. And this book is exploring how it is that Lou Tchaikovsky went from like sort of being underestimated by her male colleagues even when she was at the top of her game and sort of like thinking about beauty standards, body standards, and all of the things that just like sort of make America what it is. In the book we get sort of a dishy peek behind the curtain of a billion dollar industry, but also Lou Tchaikovsky's journey to like sort of feeling great about herself with honesty and heart and all of the ways that she sort of like exited that world and what she learned there.

[Sarah McLean]

This is a love letter of sorts to the people who didn't fit in as kids and maybe don't fit in now. And if you'd like to read Don't Buy what I'm Selling, you can do that right now in print, ebook or audiobook, wherever you get your books, if your podcasting app supports it, you can click on the chapter title to learn more and to buy the book. Thanks to Little Brown and company. And to Lou Chakowski for sponsoring this week's episode.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I think there's a lot of things that plague and stuff type in a romance novel in terms of plotting and point of view. One of the things is there are several times we get other characters, points of view. I mean, this is third past, right? But we get Lisette, which is her mom. We get occasionally Audra, right. We get her friend, the agent, right? So there are times that we sort of get people on the outside, like, looking in and seeing, like, sort of the Shane and. And Ava of it all. An Eva of it all. In particular, though, one of the real, like, sort of sticking points is that even though they. Eva knows, right? Like, knows that she could not trust him, that they were, you know, both. That he was an addict even then, right? Not just drinking, but, like, you know, like, drugs and all this sort of stuff. That he was not someone who could have really taken care of her, that they weren't capable of. That. They did make each other a promise, right, that week when they were 17, and he was kind of like, I just want to stay with you always. Like, they just immediately fall into this sort of sense that, like, this other person is my person. They're fated. They're fated mates, literally. And he disappeared, and she woke up essentially in, like, a hospital, and she doesn't know how or why that happened. And so in the middle of the book, they finally, like, they sort of have this, like, glorious, perfect New York day together, and they actually, like, go to this, like, nap room type place and have sex in it, even though they're not supposed to.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, why I would never go to one of those nap rooms, by the way. This is literally my biggest fear of these, like, come in here and laid down.

[K]

Sure.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, Like, I'm like, people for sure had sex in here. And look, Tia Williams proves it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Tia Williams knows the truth.

[Sarah McLean]

Don't go lie down on beanbags in Manhattan.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Even though the sex is sort of great and revelatory for both of them, she immediately, like, gets out of there, right? Because essentially she is like, after, like, one of the ways that, like, that we kind of broke her was just this feeling that, like, you left. Then my husband left, and now I leave. I'm gonna leave first. And they have each other's numbers. Shane sort of shows up the next day, and there's this sort of fascinating moment where you start to understand where in his point of view that, like, he knows something about why he had to leave and it wasn't his choice. And I remember as. Even the first time I was reading it, and this time as I was reading it too, kind of being like, oh, you know, what's happening right now is he's gonna not tell her. He's gonna be afraid to hurt her feelings or something. And, you know, like, figuring this out is gonna take a while. And instead he tells her. And I was like, oh, look at this grown up man.

[Sarah McLean]

Right? You know, I have this mark too. Keep going. I have something I wanna say after this.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And so he says, you just have to ask your mother. You have to ask her. He doesn't tell her, but he says sort of you have to ask her. Like, you essentially. I called her because I was so scared for you, and she had me arrested and you have to ask her. And the thing that's then sort of fascinating is then we get Eva calling her mom and we get sort of her mom's point of view in Louisiana. She's like a pageant coach to these tweens herself. And I remember thinking that it was really fascinating that this story then of course, coming in and finding, you know, Eva in this state is being told from her mother's point of view and how smart it is as a storytelling choice to essentially kind of, I don't know, pull back away from, like, what would have been the trauma of it in Shane's point of view and the confusion of it from Eva's point of view and, like, sort of give us what should have been the adult in the room at that point. And it's clear Eva's mom does not really understand a lot of things. But at that point in time, I just. And I did, I found myself thinking, like, this is really some smart writing to back away from, like, the kind of the black hole at the bottom of this relationship when they were 18, and have it be kind of like, well, I was the adult in the room who made that call at that time. And. And of course, I had the police take him away. You were clearly high and there were drugs everywhere. And you know what I mean? The sort of like. And her and Eva being like, mom, you didn't really understand anything in, like, hanging up on her.

[Sarah McLean]

Right. But in the same sense, like, in the reverse.

[K]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, if Audra had been in this situation.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes.

[Sarah McLean]

What would she. She would have lost her mind of, like.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

It's really like there are these constant loops in this book. And it's interesting because this book is not magical realism in any way, but the next book, A Love Song for Ricky Wilde, is. And does have these kinds of real loops that are written into the text. These ideas of, like, everything that has happened before is happening now will happen again. And I think this is a core story for Tia's work. Like, she is constantly thinking about, you know, the most human of our mistakes, our joys, our pride, our love, our like. And she's in a constant state of writing it generationally.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[K]

Or.

[Sarah McLean]

And even not even when it's not like parent child, like in a, you know, a love song for Ricky Wilde is Time Slip. And it's sort of like. It's just a constant sense of kind of revisiting the things that we do as humans, as people who make mistakes and love and hurt and have joy in the world. And it's really magical. But I want to underscore what you said about this being very grown up, because I do think there are, I think one of the failings of romance. And I say this as, like. I mean, everybody knows, like, there's nothing I love more than a romance novel. There's just nothing.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Of course.

[Sarah McLean]

And I mean, look what I do all day long, and then with my free time, I do this. But I do think, like, one of the fundamental failings of the romance genre is that characters do not always behave in an adult way.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

They do not always behave in a way where, like, they admit what they've done wrong or they, you know, way. If a romance novelist is sort of given the opportunity to use something as conflict, that it could just be a misunderstanding. We often just do it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Right. And Tia's work, her writing is so fearless in the way that. And I'm using fearless intentionally and in a different definition than I usually do in. In when we talk about books. Because it's fearless in that she refuses to give herself that pass and, like, take the conflict in the easiest place. And instead of the misunderstanding, these characters do, they look each other in the eye and they're like, yeah, you're right. What I did was wrong. You know, like. And there's this great moment, the moment actually, which I sort of referenced before, and I was trying to figure out while you were talking about that, like, what is the place where I had that moment in my head? And it is that moment where she's basically looking at him and she's like, you know, we didn't make careers. I made my career. She says, and you drunk wrote four classics.

[K]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, you're physically, philosophically opposed to social media. And I have to post all day to stay relevant. Now, listen, part of this is like Tia's commentary on publishing, on gender, on what we require from women versus what we require from men. What we will just sort of tolerate from men, you know? And then she's like, I. And she sort of says, like, I'm. I'm fucked. I'm. I'm. My career's fucked. I don't have this other. She's telling him, like, this is all real. Like, I don't have my book written. I keep back burnering my dream book. Like, you get to do whatever the fuck you want. And he is like, you know, he's like, yeah, you're right. Instead of, like, it could have been a moment where he. Where he fights her on it, but instead he's like, yeah, you're right. And she's like, you're only a superstar because you write about me.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah, right.

[Sarah McLean]

And that's, of course, when he says, ugh, my God. He says, I don't write about you. I write for you. I write to you. I. So I guess what I'm saying here is, like, there is fearlessness in sometimes just letting the characters tell the truth to each other and believe it.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's exactly right.

[Sarah McLean]

And there's a lot of truth in this book.

[Jennifer Prokop]

This is, to me, is, like a. A romance that, like, I found very compelling. Even though in some ways it, like, sort of resists. Right? Like, I would. I mean, if somebody was. I mean, it resists, I think a lot of the things that, like, people kind of expect when it comes to romance or, like, want. You know, I don't. I would say, like, as a romance reader, I wanted probably more from the end.

[K]

Right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I'm okay with saying that, but.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah, but see, it's funny because I think. Yes, well, no, you keep going.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Well, and what I mean by that is just like, I love everything tied up with a fucking bow, you know, I love them being in, you know, like, sort of in that state where it feels like they have. They have decided to be together. And I think, like, at the end, right, like, essentially, like, they get sort of set up one more time, right? Audra. And, like, the agent whose name, I'm sorry, I can, like, not remember right now, even though I just reread it, essentially sort of, like, send them to Atlanta together.

[Sarah McLean]

Cece.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Cece, yeah, sort of send the two each. Each of them is sent to Atlanta by cece for, like, ostensibly something different. And then they, like, find each other. And, you know, I think if there's, like, one thing I probably would have wanted from the ending, it was like for them to decide to be together. And they still weren't like quite ready to see that. And then it's like the people they love in their life, right. Like Audra and ZC realize, like, no, they just need one more little push, right? They need the push. They need one more little push. And, you know, I think that in some ways makes sense though, given the absolute trauma of like their first week together. Is one week gonna be enough? Right. Like, they needed to sort of decide to be together. They maybe needed more pushes than other people. But at the same time, like, the emotional journey of these two is so compelling and so rich that in other ways I really did believe in them. Right. So it's just like a really interesting book in that I think it's, you know, it, it breaks what I consider a lot of romance rules in ways that I also think were really effective. Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean, I think there is, you know, that whole ending that, you know, I think it's the exact right sort of dark moment here where he takes off, he doesn't show up.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

And I, you know, there's there at the end of this book essentially, like he's supposed to turn up for. They. They've invited him, right. You know, over or whatever for a. For an event, for a dinner, A brunch. A brunch.

[K]

And.

[Sarah McLean]

And Audra has like, they, they. She makes a big thing about like Audra's made no, like name cards, brunch, and he disappears. He doesn't show up. And she's like, in this. She goes through kind of this moment where she's like, did he relapse? Like, she's like. Has a bone deep worry for him because it doesn't occur. And it's sort of this really wonderful moment in the text where she's like. She doesn't at first think that he's blown her off, right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

She almost can't conceive of it.

[Sarah McLean]

She wouldn't blow her off and he wouldn't blow her off unless it was something incredibly important. Right. And what it comes, what we come to discover is that he was called by the police in Providence. And one of the kids that he is, you know, has. Has been mentoring for, you know, however long has been shot and is in intensive care. Serious. A serious situation in Providence. And so he just like drops everything and goes. Because he's a. Because that's what you do is he is responsible and also loyal and also a hero. Right. And he goes. And in the mix of it all he sort of forgets.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

In the worry and the panic, he forgets to tell her that he's going and he forgets about the brunch. And she's sort of instantly furious when she figures out that, like, he's left. She doesn't know why, and she's furious because. And she says it to him. She's like, I'm not mad that you left me. I'm mad that you left Audra, who

[Jennifer Prokop]

was

[Sarah McLean]

like, you know, you can't make promises to kids. And then. And he's like, yeah, I know. Like, yeah, I know. But it's a struggle because I think, you know, she's really revis. It's a perfect black moment in a lot of ways because. Or third act breakup in a lot of ways because it is a test. Right?

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

It's not a test of the relationship, though. It's a test of Eva's willingness to believe that he will. He will treat her with respect, like. That he will treat her with kindness, that he will be the man for them both, that he will be in Andre's life, that he will return, that he's going to. That he's not going to disappear again. And it's interesting because when you say, like, oh, this sort of breaks a lot of romance rules. I think it does because I actually don't think he's tested at all. Like.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. I mean, the test for him, too is like, can I trust myself? Do I deserve this? Do I deserve this?

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah. Right in that moment.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

You know, and then I think he. And then I think he just feels very guilty. Right. Like he realizes he forgot. He's sort of doesn't want to face it. Well.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And he feels like he let this young man down. I mean. Right. Like, it's all just this really toxic stu for him.

[Sarah McLean]

It's a messy kind of.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

But in his mind, there is no doubt that he. He's afraid he might not deserve Eva, but he's not afraid he can't be the man she needs. And so I think that's all very powerful. And then I think there is. I mean, I do love the end. I love. I love a, you know, I love a public display of, you know, commitment. I love that he, you know, she tells her. Her story when she wins the award. Yes. And then he just gets up and is like, my. My award is for her. Like, she's the only thing that's ever mattered.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Oh, it's so good.

[Sarah McLean]

And it's perfect. He says it in, like an economy of Language and, like, done. The two of them made for each other. And then in the. In the ya that is to come, we see that they did work it out.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah. I started reading it.

[Sarah McLean]

Those crazy kids did get together.

[Jennifer Prokop]

They have a baby.

[Sarah McLean]

They have a baby.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And it's interesting because what Audra's struggling with, like, right, so this. The Y book is like, Audra and is this feeling of distance from her mom when she'd always had her. Right? And this is like, a really key part of adolescence. It's not something that Audra specifically is going through, but because of the way, you know, because of the way Eva raised her. It was always like, Eva and Audra against the world. And now Eva has other people. And her father, who she was supposed to go to California to see, is also about to have another baby. And all of a sudden, Audra's like, wait, what about me? It's great. I just started at. I'm maybe five or six chapters in, but I was like, that same sense of humor.

[Elle]

It.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Audrey is still doing her. Her therapy, but now she only charges cash, so there's no paper trail. And she's raised her rate significantly since seventh grade. And, you know, I think, like, there's a real. That's really funny.

[Sarah McLean]

I think the thing that I takes Hippa very seriously.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes. I will say, you know, there are authors. For me, one of the real joys of reading, like, any of Tia's books is just how fucking funny it is. Like, we mentioned this at the beginning, both the dialogue, right. When you are reading this dialogue, you're like, this is really funny. And the way people talk to each other, it's hilarious. But also just the observational stuff, the way that sort of I'm. What it means to be human or to, like, exist in the world and how things really work, you know, like, sort of capturing like a. You know, I mean, in this case, like I said, like, Eva's world, but also like, sort of, you know, the world of Brooklyn and like the, you know, like I said, the black literati feeling, like the single mom daughter. Like, there's all of these, like, layers and layers, which are so fun to read. And it's just like I highlighted so many things in the book that it was just like, you know, like sort of like little moment after little moment after a little moment. Like, there's this one kind of really ongoing funny part that when Eva and Shane first met in high school, he was reading a James Baldwin book. And.

[Sarah McLean]

Oh, I highlighted this part.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right. And in the book, he has rented James Baldwin's address, 81 Horatio Street. At one point, she gets, like, a babysitter comes over, and she's like, I just want to fuck you in James Baldwin's bed. He's like, okay, well, it's not his real bed. Like, there's not, like, a sleep number, you know? She's like, that's not what I meant. But I just think, like, there's so many ways in which, like, this book is. And, like, you know, like. Like, the two of them themselves, like, sort of, like this ongoing conversation about, like, what it means to be a part of the world, to be part of fiction and literature, to, like, write about relationships and romance. Like, at one point, Eva just wishes that, like, what she wants is, like, sort of a relationship. Too boring for fiction. Right. Like, that this is too much. And I just think, like, if you have not read this book, it is. I mean, laugh out loud. So many things were so funny to me.

[Sarah McLean]

Amazing.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Such a fun book to read. And, like, sexy. And like you said, though, mostly, like, angsty.

[K]

Right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

The feelings. The way that these two feel about each other, that sense of, like, this person across time and space is my person, and yet I can't find them. And now here we are together in the same place, you know, these 15 years apart. There's, like, a real sense. And like you said, it's not that he has. Books are all, like, magical realism, but there's magic in this book and, like, a real deep belief in magic, kind of like, at, like, the cellular level that, like, Eva, like, sort of gets from her, like, the matrilineal, like, sort of side of her family. Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean, and I also think there's no question this book is a fated mates book.

[Elle]

Oh.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, which is a rare find in

[Jennifer Prokop]

contemporary

[Sarah McLean]

because it's hard to pull off in contemporary. I mean, not all second chance romance.

[K]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Is faded mates, but these two are fated mates.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

You know, I also think it's worth underscoring that she deftly handles the teenage years. Like, I know you don't love it when the teenage years are on page for a lot of books, but in this book, she really. It feels very authentic.

[K]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I don't love a book with, like, a bunch of teenage stuff, because I just. I'm not really interested in it. But I don't think that, like I said, there is no sense when you're reading this book of anyone being like, oh, yeah, these two are gonna make it. Like, you know what I mean? And I think, like, that's. That's the reason I found it very compelling. Like, the teenage years who. They were both so tortured and broken by the things that were out of their control. And then you see them, however many years later, trying to be in control. Like, yeah, that was very compelling to me. But, yeah, I think part of the reason it worked is in no way are you reading those teenage chapters thinking, oh, these two are gonna be together forever. Right. Like, it's not. It doesn't read like that at all. You just honestly, you just really feel, I mean, like I said, heartbroken and sad. But also when you see them as adults trying to care for children and the reasons why they are kind of the way they are and making the choices they do. I mean, and at the end of the book, like, she. Shane kind of realizes, like, I have been trying to go about being a part of children's lives in a way that is inappropriate for both me and them, you know, and so he decides to coach. Right. And teach. And these are ways to be a part of the lives of children in a way that is, like, healthy, a

[Sarah McLean]

mark of romance that isn't in this book but can often be in romance. And I'm victim of it myself. Right. Or, you know, responsible for it myself is sometimes you sort of give the love story of teenagers an intensity that doesn't feel, you know, it feels like magic. In, like, magic parentheses, positive, right? Versus magic parentheses. Like, realistic, messy.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah. And I think. And I think Tia doesn't do that. She resists the urge to have written, you know, two characters who, you know, fell in love over seven days and were taking, like, we're able to take care of each other. And then, like, we're star crossed in the sense. I do believe that this is a star crossed romance.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

But like, in. In, like, it can be so misdone with, like. And then they were ripped apart because they, you know, her mom did do a thing, but, like, her mom did a thing that was, like, very reasonable. And these two should not. Like, if these two had gotten together at 18, no, they would have torn each other apart. I mean, they would never have found. If they survived, it would have been a miracle.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And this is like. I mean, I want to say that, like, not everybody. Lots of people meet someone when they're in high school and spend the rest of their lives together, but not in this scenario. And I think in. That's what I meant when I was talking, beginning at the beginning, about, like, the second chance of it all. Like, this doesn't feel like a second Chance romance. Because that first week together was not a real chance. Correct.

[K]

Right.

[Jennifer Prokop]

It wasn't real. It was this, like, complete, like. Like a time. It just felt like it was out of time almost. Right. And that's for a lot of reasons that then when. And that's, I think it. What's like when it's. They're just 18 and they're like fully actualized 18 year olds, but something tore them apart and now they're fully actualized 28 year olds. You finally figured it out. I often. That doesn't really often work for me.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So, yeah, I agree. The one other last thing I wanted to say, and this is kind of like less important and silly, is this book really leans hard into the 2019 of it all.

[Sarah McLean]

Oh, yeah, we didn't talk about that. And then we.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I actually think that it's one of the things I really like about it. You know, I don't think that this is a book that is afraid of, like, sort of situating the characters or in a time. And that time is like right during the first Trump administration and all the things that means that time is, like, driven by certain kinds of pop culture and media references, the phones that they're carrying around, the things that they can do or not do, the way social media works on them. Like this, you know, again, the specificity of it makes it, to me, when we've talked about this over and over again, feel more universal.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Right.

[Sarah McLean]

I mean, it's very. Yeah. And it also feels. I did have a moment at one point while I was rereading. I was like, wow, this was long.

[K]

Like it.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah, it's a lifetime ago.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I know. Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

No, I mean, I agree. And I also think that Tia is again, sets herself apart as a writer in that piece as well. The sort of. The place in the sense of place and time in contemporary, at least. I find often that writers can't quite nail time, like the. The feel of the world. And so I think a lot of us choose, like, to flatten it, but Tia chooses to dial it up because she can do it so well.

[Jennifer Prokop]

So I love this book. I loved rereading it. I had a great time.

[Sarah McLean]

All right, everybody. Well, that is that if you're looking for a great beach read, this is it. It's a really terrific one, and I hope you'll pick it up in paperback. And then the new book by Tia is called the Missed Connection and has a great little conceit, which is the heroine has. Sits on a plane going to a. A conference at work. And she gets on the plane, and she is super excited to be on this plane because she is sitting next to a person who she believes is her soulmate. Like, yeah, he is perfect in every way. And the problem is, is that she misses the opportunity to exchange information with him. And so she decides that she is going to find him. She emails her work friend who she expects to help her. You know, she's basically like, how do you think I can find this guy? And she accidentally sends the email to her entire company. And so an international manhunt ensues. And while this is all happening, she hires a private detective that she knows from an earlier situation in her past and asks him to help. And of course, who do you think she falls in love with, Jen?

[Jennifer Prokop]

I mean, I hope it's his private detective.

[Sarah McLean]

Sure is.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Now the set, the YA book is called Audra and Basher Just Friends. This is like, right? Like, Audra is now at the end of her junior year of high school, so about to be a senior. Bash is a kid who goes to, like, a different kind of New York prep school. And the two of them are, like, kind of just meeting where I am in the book. But, like, Audra is still Audra. And we are definitely getting glimpses of, like, Eva and Shane and their new baby, Alice, who Audra calls the Goblin. And like, sort of imagine a new baby. Yeah, 16, right? Exactly. That's okay. Neither can Audra. And again, like, that.

[Elle]

The, the. The.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I think, again, the other thing I really appreciate this, to me would be like, kind of like you'd really have, like, high school kids. It's like, you know, these are rich kind of high schoolers in New York. Like, there's like, drug use and drinking and sex and, you know, video and social media and all of those things that, like, kids are really navigating in the world. And Audra, at the beginning, there's something happened at prom, and we're not quite sure what it is, but she's ditching her dates, phone calls. And Bash is someone who is really interesting. Like, his father kind of sent him away, and now he's living with his, like, white mom who he barely knows, and she's out, like, saving the world, even though he might be the one who needs her attention. So I think, like, this sort of persistent, like, what do kids do when they're, like, too young to be adults, but they still need adults is like another. Is like a big part of this one. And seeing Eva and Shane in their house and with construction and, you know, it's really, it's great. So I'm excited to keep reading it.

[Sarah McLean]

Fun. Well, if you are interested, you, you can find the book wherever you get your books. And right now it's in Kindle Unlimited, which is very exciting.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Not Audra and Bash, but Seven Days in June.

[Sarah McLean]

Seven Days in June. Other than that, we are what I've got. Ooh, you are talking to Sophia Benoit and so am I.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yes.

[Sarah McLean]

We have some events coming up, everybody. I will be at Book Club Bar in middle Manhattan with Sophia Benoit on Tuesday the 23rd. So next Tuesday at 8pm so you can join us there. And we'll be talking about her new historical, the Very Definition of Love.

[Jennifer Prokop]

And I will be in Chicago with her the next day at Women and Children first, which is the 24th.

[Sarah McLean]

And that is, I think that's everything that we've got coming up. That's everything for me. That's everything I've got coming coming up for a while. So we will hopefully see you New York and Chicago there for a little historical romance excitement. Otherwise. I'm Sarah McLean. I'm here with my friend Jen Prokop and we are fated mates. You can find us every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts and also online at Instagram and threads on faded mates pod and at blueskytamates. If you would like to talk more about 7 Days in June or about other books that are set in New York or about books about writers, you can do that on our Discord, where, you know, a few thousand people join together to talk about romance 24. 7. They there are tons of recommendations there and tons of deep discussions about romance. You can join the Discord by joining the Patreon, which you can [e-mail] Patreon Other than that, we are very excited to be in the summer. Knicks in five. All right, World cup action, lots going on. And don't forget that if you hang on right after this episode, you'll get a episode of the what in the Smut podcast. I hope it's the one about clouds. Anyway, take care everyone.

[K]

Welcome to what in the Smut Podcast

[Elle]

where the books are horny and so are we. I'm Elle.

[K]

And I'm K. So please tell me we have good news in the Smut verse this week. I'm gonna ask every week something change you can keep.

[Elle]

You can keep asking and we'll see. We'll see how this story shakes out because Keith Chow has a new romantic fantasy book out called Strange Familiars that released on May 19th ahead of the release. Arc readers posted their reviews on Goodreads and oh boy did a doozy make it to the Internet. As we on this podcast very well know, a review is not necessarily a good representation of the book, but in my personal opinion, it is an excellent representation of the reviewer. This particular person went on a rant about the presence of non binary characters, the existence of an elderly gay couple that kiss on page and the content warning girls I know, God forbid they show intimacy. And the content warnings not including mention of, and I quote, minorities being a prevailing majority. Well huh. She says, we all know these folks have astronomical rates of mental disorders, medication usage and suicide rates. Let's not glorify or promote it, please.

[K]

She is drinking RFK's Kool Aid.

[Elle]

I could not agree more. There was more of course, including some not so casual racism and a bizarre dislike of characters struggling with being poor.

[K]

Oh well,

[Elle]

I rest my case. But despite this one person word vomiting some pretty nasty inside thoughts into this review, the Internet rallied behind Chow, promoting strange familiars and bumping up pre orders while simultaneously blasting this reviewer. A true example of fucking around and finding out.

[K]

I kind of love when that happens though because like one when it's so glaringly obvious that this is a them problem.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

And then for it to kind of benefit the author.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

With more pre orders and more people being like no is I. I kind of love it when that happens now I hate that it happened. Right. Because it does those one star reviews or whatnot in the algorithm of to be fair. Yeah.

[Elle]

Just a pause there. I will say the reviewer posted the Goodreads review as a four star out of five.

[K]

Okay.

[Elle]

And like had some nice things to say. It was very. It was very bizarre. Like this was like a Republican woman who liked it against her will I think. But. But she was not.

[K]

She actually liked it but knows that her husband would not.

[Elle]

Maybe. Maybe Unclear. Unclear. I like for the record I pre ordered it as a result of seeing it through this because one I was like wait, that sounds like stuff that I would enjoy reading about. And then I looked up the description and it's like it's a romantic fantasy like rivals, enemies to lovers. I'm in. Obviously I'm in. I think you would like it actually because they want to say. I want to say it's like I

[K]

love an enemies to lovers.

[Elle]

So it's like a magical academy too, I think.

[K]

Yeah, I do like that too.

[Elle]

I know, I know. That's what I'm saying. It's yes. Two rival magical veterinary Students who team up to solve a magical crisis in London.

[K]

That sounds fantastic. I'll put the link for that pre order in our show notes too.

[Elle]

Yeah, well, by the time this episode comes out, it'll be in actual order, I think.

[K]

Okay, well then we can put that in there too. Yeah.

[Elle]

Now let's talk about a book with fucking around and finding out of a very different variety.

[K]

Okay. So this week we are firmly back on our bullshit with Fully Charged by Nicole Parker and unfortunate reads. And the synopsis says Jewel is a newly single mom who just wants to. To unwind in a rare time alone. The kids are away and it's time for a mama to play with herself. Except the oft brand batteries in her favorite tool die mid session. When she replaces them with the industry leader Amazing, Jewel gets more than long lasting pleasure. Watson has been sent from Amazing headquarters to ensure jewel is 100% satisfied. Fully charged is a parody Sentient object romance. Intended for audiences over 18 years old. This contains intimate relations between a human woman and a mythical pink rabbit. Read at your own risk.

[Elle]

I did notice that you're wearing a fuzzy pink sweater today.

[K]

I did that. That was intentional.

[Elle]

Uhhuh. Uhhuh. Unfortunately, my only pink wash,

[K]

it's actually a little warm today, so

[Elle]

we might have a wardrobe change mid episode.

[K]

Um, and also if that does not speak to our personalities, is that I had a selection of pink shirts to choose from. And your singular pink shirt is in.

[Elle]

In the wash. Yeah.

[K]

This is a parody romance. But in some ways I'm like, stop that right now.

[Elle]

Personally attacked.

[K]

Yes.

[Elle]

I did have many thoughts of like, oh, this is, this is going to sting a little for K. Yeah.

[K]

In so many ways.

[Elle]

In many, in many ways. But where would you put this one on our smut scale?

[K]

Um, I mean, there's nothing too crazy about it.

[Elle]

I think craziest part was the double penetration.

[K]

Yeah. And that's not even really something that

[Elle]

we have specifically called out in our smut scale. Yeah.

[K]

Yeah. So a two, I think a two.

[Elle]

It is a big fuzzy bunny.

[K]

Right.

[Elle]

So ascension object.

[K]

Yeah. And it's, it's interesting because the, the object is the batteries.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

Which is customer service.

[Elle]

Representative of the batteries. I don't know.

[K]

Yeah. But also like, do vibrators come with just batteries anymore? They used to.

[Elle]

They used to. I don't know. See, that I think is indicative.

[K]

Most of it is rechargeable. But that makes sense.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

Here's the thing.

[Elle]

I haven't, I haven't purchased a vibrator since I was in college. I need to upgrade.

[Sarah McLean]

Wow.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

I mean, yeah, no, they. They don't come with batteries anymore. Or like, it's. I would say. I would be willing to go out on a limb and say that all current manufactured vibrators have rechargeable batteries these days.

[Elle]

Interesting thought. Yeah, probably. But this book was very much designed to be an Energizer Bunny parody.

[K]

Well, yeah, so that's.

[Elle]

That's where we find ourselves. Do we have any trigger warnings? Aside from single mom feeling attacked?

[K]

Single mom feeling attacked. Like it's.

[Elle]

Yeah,

[K]

I vibrate or dying right before the finish.

[Elle]

That's literally. I. I viscerally felt this because I have a vibrator that is still battery powered. I will say, like, if you are operating on that model, this is your reminder to replace your batteries. Because even if it still turns on. Oh, new batteries.

[K]

Change it.

[Elle]

Change it.

[K]

But also, that's a much quicker fix as long as you've got batteries.

[Elle]

True. Yeah. Because if you have to recharge it, you gotta wait.

[K]

You gotta wait for it to recharge. So this is. This is a. A problem I've been faced with. On more than one occasion.

[Elle]

So, like.

[K]

Yeah. So, yeah, I don't think that there's too many. There's double penetration.

[Elle]

Yep.

[K]

There's kind of insta love.

[Elle]

Oh, yeah.

[K]

Which a lot of it.

[Elle]

I wasn't expecting that. I was kind of. I. I don't know. I thought we were getting like a. A one and done type of vibe, perhaps.

[K]

Yeah. This is similar to the insta love of the.

[Elle]

The energy drink.

[K]

Yes. So, yeah, that was a similar vibe with the. We're in love.

[Elle]

We're trying to recreate this situation that brings him back and oh my God, I love him so much. Even though we didn't have a real conversation. And I think maybe the last trigger warning is your new boyfriend giving your children a drum set.

[K]

Because that would be triggering.

[Sarah McLean]

Right.

[K]

Also it. Triggering in that he like, moves in after four days.

[Elle]

Yes.

[K]

Wildly, Wildly inappropriate.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[K]

Irresponsible, responsible.

[Sarah McLean]

Yes.

[Elle]

Did the reviews shake out on this one?

[K]

This had a 3.5 on Amazon, 3.4 on Goodreads, which is closer than I feel like they usually are.

[Elle]

Yeah, usually Goodreads has a pretty big gap.

[K]

Yeah. So a four star from Amazon says, funny, cute and spicy. Oh, my gosh. I won't lie to y', all. I swear. These authors were determined to use every euphemism in the book and then some. I was worried we wouldn't get a happily ever after. But I love the way we got it. This was creative and probably more funny than actual spicy would read again for the laughs. Okay. And three stars is unique concept. Three stars because of all that. But all the electric puns. Hurts. H E R T Z my soul. It's also like they didn't want to say only a handful of words to describe the coochie and used a different description every single time. It was painfully cringe. But I picked this up as a jokes book and that's what I got. I mean, some of these puns could have put Holly Wilds to shame.

[Elle]

Yes, I maintain that she is the pun queen.

[K]

She is. But give her a run for her money anyway.

[Elle]

Yeah, they were knocking on her back door.

[K]

Perhaps pun intended.

[Elle]

A four star on Goodreads says the classic moment when you're about to have the best time of your life and then it dies. This short, snappy, spicy novella was hysterical and it had me in absolute stitches throughout it. Never would I ever have thought I would read about a fluffy bunny with interchangeable schlongs. Huh.

[K]

Obviously they're new to the genre.

[Elle]

I mean, interchangeable is pretty abnormal, I think.

[K]

Yes, that's. It was a nice little addition there.

[Elle]

I agree. Finally a one star on Goodreads. That was my bad for being curious. Face palm emoji.

[K]

I mean,

[Elle]

at least you know you're not supposed to be here, right?

[K]

I mean, there's other ones that it's like. And stopped reading at page seven. It's like, well, right. Come on. She's sitting on a bed. And there's the energizer bunny. What are you. What are you here for? Right, right.

[Elle]

Exactly this. Like, I feel like every single episode we have a reviewer that's like Michael from Arrested Development that's like dead dove, do not eat. I don't know what I expected.

[K]

Like, yeah, my guy.

[Elle]

Welcome to the sentient objects like genre. I don't know what. I don't know what you expect.

[K]

And so as always, we are going to run down the full plot. There's some kind of. Kind of. There's been. There's been worse.

[Elle]

There has been worse.

[K]

You're right. There will be spoilers. So if you would like to give Nicole Parker and unfortunate reads their page reads, we will have the link to this one in our show notes. Are you ready to get into it?

[Elle]

I'm so ready. I'm excited to start off with chapter one. Can you read the title of the chapter? Unfortunately, neither. Neither of us speak German and neither does our main character. But perhaps I can get the Internet to say it for me. Okay, let's see. Bach Fifen giesit Buck fifen gesicht sicht. I can't speak German. Buckfiefenke sicht. Sure.

[K]

It's not as fun as I wanted it to be.

[Elle]

Yeah, it's basically someone. A face that is begging to be hit. Translated as a face that is begging to be slapped or in need of a fist.

[K]

I can think of a few off the top of my head.

[Elle]

Mood Jewel is our main character and we start with a very relatable first page.

[K]

The first paragraph. I barely get me time anymore, but today the house is blessedly quiet. She just says, I love her kids. I love them to death, but mama needs a break. And I've said that very sentence. Yeah, several times. I love my children more than anything. But especially when you're doing it on your own, sometimes you need a break.

[Elle]

Yeah. Yes. And like, it's good that I. I love that we get a sister who doesn't have a name, but it's so good to have like family support who can. Who can give you that break. And like, some single moms don't even have that. It's just.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Oh man. And relatable. I don't even have kids around, like, and I'm like, the moment I get me time. I'm also thinking of all the chores that I could do without anyone underfoot. You know, the dishes in the stainless steel kitchen sink are piled higher than should be humanly possible. The bathrooms haven't been deep cleaned in a hot minute. Maybe I could kill two birds with one stone and clean the tile while I take a bath.

[K]

That's when it I do too. I have a scrub brush in my shower that I'm like, let's get some of that clean.

[Elle]

I do when I'm showering. Not when I'm in a bath though,

[K]

because I don't bathe. Like I shower. I don't take a bath.

[Sarah McLean]

Why not?

[Elle]

Baths are great.

[K]

It's. I don't know, not a. Not a bath person, not a bath person.

[Elle]

And especially relatable is like this kind of like moment that she has. And I don't know if you have this, but she's considering overlapping her relaxation and cleaning of the tub. And she's like, that's when it hit me that I really need some self care cleaning while trying to relax. Good gravy. So she's now on the couch reading a not so subtly disguised Ruby Dixon, if I do say so.

[K]

Aliens yes.

[Elle]

What is it about a big blue alien that just gets you going? Besides the huge Cox with special features, of course. Okay, fine. It's probably the huge Cox and special features.

[K]

Yeah. She's also on her second glass of wine.

[Elle]

But yes, there is something about the second glass of wine specifically that makes all of your cares melt away.

[K]

This has. This brings us back to literally episode one.

[Elle]

That's true.

[K]

The second glass of wine, she decided to fuck a doorknob.

[Elle]

Like, I maintain that two glasses of wine is quite not enough to decide to fuck a doorknob.

[K]

To fuck a doorknob.

[Elle]

I mean, certainly not with my doorknob.

[K]

Do you have the kind. The handle kind?

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

So then she. She decides that she's gonna move things to the bedroom.

[Elle]

Yeah. And like homest among us.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

I love this. I do have a quick. I have a highlight here and I have a question for you. It says, folding the corner of the page in my book to mark my place. Before shutting it, I set it on the coffee table. Are you a dog earer or are books sacred?

[K]

Books are sacred. I will use anything that I have around to be a bookmark. But I don't dog ear the pages.

[Elle]

Yeah, I remember it being a controversial topic.

[K]

I used to when I was younger. I feel like.

[Elle]

Me too.

[K]

But I don't anymore. Like I'll use a post it or a receipt or. I have bookmarks. Yep, I have one right here.

[Elle]

I have that one right there too.

[K]

The Jesus is that smut bookmark. I have more. It's the same exact one.

[Elle]

The exact same one.

[K]

Oh, no, yours is slightly more detailed. Yeah, no, I have more than one of that bookmark. Actually. My friends and family think it's funny to gift that to me because of

[Elle]

course, you know, because this muddy Catholic.

[K]

Yeah, I feel like that could be a bookstagram.

[Elle]

Yeah, this muddy Catholic. I love that. Anyway, yeah, I also used to dog ear my pages. I would never dog ear if I was borrowing a book. I would never dog ear someone else's book or a library book. But I don't know. I. I don't know what happened. It's a. I. I don't know. I. I just. I just don't do it anymore. But this was like a hot button topic for a while.

[K]

It was. It. It was. Yeah. I use whatever is around too. I actually for Christmas this year, my sister gave me this little thing

[Elle]

where

[K]

it's got a space for your coffee mug, but it also like you can

[Elle]

put a book on top of it.

[K]

Actual book, slightly open but you can put, yeah, you can rest your book to whatever page you're on. That save my spot. It's very cute.

[Elle]

Very cute.

[K]

I also though don't as frequently read physical, physical books. Yeah, so. So there's that. So she thinks to herself, thinking about my toy makes me perk up with interest. I'm alone, I'm tipsy and I'm horny. The trifecta situation to have a little or a long session with my Bob. And for quite a while I could not recall what Bob.

[Elle]

It's not. I think later on they mention what it actually stands for.

[K]

Yes.

[Elle]

Which is battery operated boyfriend. Yes.

[K]

And it took like, I was like, I know that. I know what that means.

[Elle]

It's an older, an older phrase, I

[K]

feel maybe because they're not like, I mean, I guess they are still battery operated, but like. Yeah. Not in the traditional battery sense.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yeah.

[K]

Perhaps maybe also because people are like, I don't need a boyfriend, battery operated or not.

[Elle]

Yeah, I'm going with that one. Hell yeah.

[K]

Oh man.

[Elle]

It's funny how much of a man hater I am despite having a wonderful man that I'm excited to marry.

[K]

I, you know, I love that for you. You found one of the good ones, but you're still in solidarity with the rest of the population.

[Elle]

I've had my fair share of fucking men. Let's talk about Jules Jackrabbit 5000.

[K]

Also the fact that she has it hidden in the back of a drawer. Again, I am seeing myself in this and I do not want to where like kids are nosy and they open things with no regard. And man, oh man, did I feel that.

[Elle]

Do you also call it your snatch blaster?

[K]

No, I did not.

[Elle]

It's. The thing is glorious hot pink with a curved shaft and a bulbous head. Its prized feature is the little rabbit shaped appendage whose floppy ears vibrate at 5,000 repetitions per minute around my clit. 5,000 RPM.

[K]

Right?

[Elle]

That's crazy.

[K]

And it means nothing to me. Like, I don't, I don't even know

[Elle]

if that's physically possible. I don't think there's a motor that can run that fast.

[K]

Well, the Jackrabbit 5000.

[Elle]

Certainly not on batteries. Anyway, so she's very excited and lies back on her soft pillows and thinks it's time for mama to take herself to pound town.

[K]

That is written.

[Elle]

The closer the toy gets to my cave of wonders, the wetter I get.

[K]

Should I make a list again like we did for uh huh.

[Elle]

Perhaps. Perhaps.

[K]

Yep. I Don't.

[Elle]

I don't know that.

[K]

Oh, I feel like there's some.

[Elle]

There's so many. But there's so many different names for different things, like the Snatch Blaster and taking herself to pound Town and. But Vagina. I think we can keep a list of.

[K]

Okay.

[Elle]

Cave of wonders being number one. Reminding herself that she can be as loud as she wants. I press the vibe even harder to my love button.

[K]

We're going to add all of those pieces. Any. Any part of the female anatomy.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

Is getting added to our list. Yep. Okay.

[Elle]

So the vibrations are glorious, but I'm greedy. Clicking the button twice more. The vibrator amps up its speed and starts rotating inside of me.

[K]

Any one of these sounds great, but also, like, there's such thing as too much. I agree.

[Elle]

Also, I. There. I just don't understand the mechanics of this. Like, how does it rotate inside of you?

[K]

Well, I feel like we've. That I'm having deja vu. We've had this conversation before. We have.

[Sarah McLean]

In.

[Elle]

In whoever had, like, the spinning candy dick. I recall.

[K]

Wait a minute. Was that friend of the pod? We've got another one. Was that the elf one? Yeah, it was Ginger Cane.

[Elle]

Oh, yeah. Elf by Ginger Cane.

[K]

Because she had sent us. That's right.

[Elle]

She sent us the. The fan art of the. Of the spinning dick.

[K]

No, she had commissioned.

[Elle]

Commissioned. Yes, that's right.

[K]

Yes. So, Ginger,

[Elle]

we love you.

[K]

We love you. Thanks so much.

[Elle]

We love the artist that you hire.

[K]

Friend of the pot, Ginger Cane.

[Elle]

Oh, my God. It's my favorite. Getting. Getting to interact with the authors of these incredible stories is, like, probably my favorite side effect of this.

[K]

And the fact that they seem to like us is great because, I mean, we can be pretty harsh sometimes.

[Elle]

Sometimes. Yeah. Anyway, so the. The toy dies right as a huge orgasm is building in her core. Upset at my climax being interrupted, I click furiously on the toy's power button to no avail, unceremoniously removing the toy from my velvet lounge. Huh?

[K]

Mm. Okay.

[Elle]

I loved this line, though. And because she opens up the battery compartment and sees generic blue batteries and thinks that her ex husband was always a skimpy bastard. And that applied to batteries too. And she grumbles to herself as she frantically runs around her house. I can't believe that asshole is still ruining my orgasms even though he isn't here.

[K]

Hilarious.

[Elle]

So I don't know about you, but I have done this before, which is stealing batteries from other electronic devices.

[K]

100%.

[Elle]

So she goes through four remotes and two kids toys before she finds enough of the tried and true brand batteries to finish tonight's session.

[K]

I mean, whomst among us.

[Elle]

Whomst among us. So she gets the brand batteries successfully into the vibrator, but gets a little bit overly excited, and she clicks the power button for far too many times, and the toy starts to vibrate and rotate at speeds that cannot be safe. And she drops it and it starts to glow.

[K]

I feel like if you drop it, the batteries are gonna fall out.

[Elle]

I mean, we're not here for realism. K. This is pot calling the kettle black. I am aware. I am aware. It's just. So when she finally opens her eyes, her gaze does not land on her trusty pink toy. Instead, there is a giant pink bunny, and she is maybe the only realistic female main character we've ever had, because she shouts, what the fuck are you?

[K]

I mean, I. Yeah, it's to have the wherewithal to ask the same question that we're all thinking, uh huh.

[Elle]

Mm.

[K]

So then we get an introduction to our male main character, Watson.

[Elle]

Indeed, yes.

[K]

Who says, looks like you already started without me. But it's no problem. This bunny can keep the party going and going and all night long. It is interesting to see his perspective. We get an immediate nickname.

[Elle]

We do. How do you feel about the nickname?

[K]

Nope. He calls her Little Carrot. And I hate it. I hate it.

[Elle]

Yeah, I don't find it particularly cute or sexy.

[K]

So we get the description of Jewel. The woman in front of me is all woman. Looks to be in her late 30s. No. Fine boned bird of a woman. No. The hottie in front of me is soft in all the right places, but sturdy enough to take a pounding. Thick thighs snag my attention, and I can't help but imagine gripping them while she rides me, maybe even smacking that luscious ass and watching it jiggle while I rail her from behind. Man thoughts.

[Elle]

Man thoughts.

[K]

I mean, I just.

[Elle]

I don't know. It's.

[K]

It was a lot.

[Elle]

It was a lot for an introduction. It's very presumptuous.

[K]

Well, I mean, that's. That's what summoned him though,

[Elle]

I suppose. But, like, his job description is extraordinarily broad.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Because it. We. We will learn that Watson is essentially a customer service representative from the Amazing Battery Company, and he is sent whenever a customer requires satisfaction from their batteries.

[K]

I guess whenever the battery dies and they replace it, he gets sent.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah.

[Elle]

And so, like, he, like, plays video games with teenagers and stuff like that. So, like, this is an interesting. I don't. I don't know, like sex work as part of the work.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Which is fascinating to me. I want to learn more about the company's business model. I want to understand the benefits package. Like, is that what.

[K]

What is the sex. The benefit.

[Elle]

Right, right. But regardless, Jewel is not quite on board yet with his horny thoughts. She repeats, what the fuck are you? And he says, isn't that obvious, little carrot? I'm your new and improved Bob Buzzy Orgasm Bunny.

[K]

Which also I was like, that doesn't answer originally what it originally stands for. Yes. And I was like, well, that's not what the. That's not what it actually stood for.

[Elle]

It is not.

[K]

We do get it again. But. So now she thinks to herself, or she says out loud, it's finally happening. I've hit my breaking point. The divorce, the kids, now this. I'm chatting with my hallucinations.

[Elle]

To which he responds, I'm as real as the G spot, babe. Just because it took a while to find me doesn't mean I don't exist.

[K]

There's been a lot of. This is going to be another tangent. Oh no, there's been a lot of. Of discourse lately about the male G spot.

[Elle]

Oh yeah, I saw it. I saw something about it's not located in the.

[K]

It's not just the penis.

[Elle]

Well, of course I thought it was in. In. In your ass. Male G spot.

[K]

So they talked about this on the basement yard podcast. But then it also popped up on my for you page. That's what they were saying too, is that they thought that it was in. In the ass, you prostate. Essentially.

[Elle]

Essentially, yes.

[K]

But no. The male G spot is where the head meets the shaft. So if you look, the AI overview says the male G spot, often called the P spot, is the prostate gland. But sure. The New York Post.

[Elle]

Oh, I very established source.

[K]

Also New Scientist magazine surprising male G spot found in most detailed study of the penis yet.

[Elle]

Of course we're doing detailed studies of the penis. Have we not studied it enough?

[K]

It is, I mean. New Scientist magazine, sure, I'll take it. Long overlooked area of the penis. Yeah, right. It's been found to have the highest concentration of nerve endings and sensory structures in the organ. Suggests it's a male G spot. It is called the frenular delta, an area that's been left out of anatomy textbooks and surgical training. The triangular shaped zone is located on the ventral side, the underside of the penis, where the head meets the shaft and may be damaged by circumcision.

[Elle]

Yeah, interesting. I mean, I have a high horse upon Which I would like to sit for a moment.

[K]

Okay, go.

[Elle]

I. I love scientific study and I love it when it's something interesting. Random. I, I find this. This good. If we are applying scientific standards to every question in the universe and we are learning something from it, this is a good thing.

[K]

Yep.

[Elle]

However.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

However, the specific studies that we choose to fund upset me.

[K]

Yep.

[Elle]

Did you know as a fellow endometriosis sufferer.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

One of the first studies that I found when I was diagnosed was the one that determined that conventionally attractive women are more likely to have the more painful version of endometriosis or they're believed more. Sure.

[K]

Yep.

[Elle]

Uh huh. The most recent endometriosis study that just came out. How does endometriosis affect male partners? Yeah.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

We don't have good science on what fucking causes it. We don't have good science on how to fix it. But God forbid we leave the men out of the conversation. And, and I'm so glad, I'm so glad that we now have the most detailed study of the penis yet.

[Sarah McLean]

Like, God forbid we haven't studied it enough.

[Jennifer Prokop]

See?

[Elle]

So glad we finally found the male G spot.

[K]

What's hilarious is that this is not the route that I thought your high horse was gonna go.

[Elle]

Oh, go.

[K]

I thought your high horse was gonna be like, I'm really good at giving head.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I found that a long time ago.

[Elle]

That is also true. For the record, I immediately knew which spot you were talking about.

[K]

Yeah. I mean, it's.

[Elle]

I don't believe for one moment that this was overlooked.

[K]

Women, women knew all the whole time. We know, we know, we use it.

[Elle]

You could have just asked.

[K]

We use it accordingly. Just. That's the direction I thought that your high horse was going to be like. Well, yeah, no, that's where it is. I can, I can tell you by the reflexes.

[Elle]

Let's be real. No, I have issues with the systemic infrastructure around how we dedicate resources to scientific research.

[K]

The patriarchy, man.

[Elle]

Fuck him.

[K]

Anyway,

[Elle]

so she is also filled with the rage of her female ancestors.

[K]

As she should be.

[Elle]

As she should be. He says, how about we pick up where you left off and I can show you exactly how real I am. And she says, how about you back the fuck up and give me a moment to get a handle on this? Love that.

[K]

Love that.

[Elle]

I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much. Because he is telling her about O mazing ohm azing, which I didn't realize until just this moment was the measure of electrical current.

[K]

Oh, see, there were so many of these little euphemisms that were added in here that went right over my head. And I was like, I'm pretty sure Elle's gonna get a lot of these. I don't understand.

[Elle]

Yeah, I think ohm is actually a measure of resistance, if I remember correctly.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Unit of electrical resistance.

[K]

I am always amazed when the authors can. In like, can have all of these pieces added in there. Like, either you have a very specific set of knowledge or you really did your research. Either way, good work.

[Elle]

I'm impressed.

[K]

Yes.

[Elle]

Yeah. So he decides to kind of prove that he can make her satisfied in more ways than one by immediately folding the laundry and sorting it into neat piles in a basket.

[K]

Like, I want a man to prove himself like that to me.

[Elle]

I mean, I agree, but she's gonna mention here that it's incredibly pathetic that my bar for being taken care of is so low.

[K]

I mean, because it is.

[Elle]

This. This bunny can do fucking anything. He didn't even put the clothes away. He put them in the basket that was already there. He folded the clean laundry that was already clean. He didn't do any of the dishes. He didn't do anything else that was helpful. Like, come on.

[K]

The bar is low, but let me tell you, folding clothes, it is one

[Elle]

of my least favorite chores.

[K]

So, like, the bar is very low, but I. I wouldn't hate it. No, of course not.

[Elle]

And I'm not saying that it's not helpful. I'm saying, do more. Expect more. Good God.

[K]

She's like, thanks for. She said, I'm not gonna have you do chores all night. Thanks for the laundry, but why don't you just go back to amazing home base and call it a night? And he says, I don't think you're 100% satisfied yet.

[Elle]

So he starts giving her a back rub to prove that he can satisfy her.

[K]

That's always how it starts, of course. Oh, let me rub your shoulders.

[Elle]

I am a sucker for works every time. I'm like, I'm tired. I don't really feel like it tonight. Like, oh, I would accept a back rub. I could accept other things. I'm Lucy Goosey and feeling very good right now.

[K]

I'm not quite as tired as I thought I was.

[Elle]

Correct.

[K]

So we are getting. She's like, no, I should not be letting this mental break induced apparition massage my shoulders.

[Elle]

True.

[K]

I shouldn't be leaning into his touch, closing my eyes and letting out soft moans and grunts when he hits the right spots. And I should Most definitely not be getting butterflies in my stomach when he calls me Little Carrot because what kind of nickname is that? Accurate.

[Elle]

This would be you. I'm. I'm so sorry, but, like, you would secretly love it. You would say you hate it, and then you'd be like, I miss him. I miss hearing him call me Little Carrot.

[K]

Rude, but accurate. Oh, man. Listen, maybe I should pay you instead of my therapist. Okay?

[Elle]

So she's like, he. Well, he says, is this not satisfying, Little Carrot? And she goes, well, it is, but shouldn't I be compensated somehow for the unfinished peak I experienced due to the crappy batteries? And he replies, were you climbing a mountain? You can say it. Orgasm, climax. Use that sweet little mouth to tell me you want to come.

[K]

Don't hate it. This is some good pillow talk, if you will. I agree.

[Elle]

And there are bits of pillow of their pillow talk that I do not like. But I'm also a big fan of kind of like, if you can't talk about it, you shouldn't be doing it.

[K]

A hundred percent, 100%.

[Elle]

And so forcing her to use the correct words, I'm on board with. And she's like, what the fuck am I thinking? But she's getting turned on by it. And then she kind of tries to pull herself together and pulls away from him and pinches her. Pinches herself to make sure she's not asleep. And he's like, nope, you're definitely not asleep. And we get a description of him, which is not erotic in any way, shape or form. This is just the Energizer Bunny.

[K]

A pink bunny is not erotic.

[Elle]

I know, but like, we. What was the. We got like, the. The peeps were muscular, like buff. This is a round bellied, fuzzy bunny with huge feet wearing royal blue flip flops.

[K]

What's your stance on men in sandals?

[Elle]

I don't really have one. I don't have a strong opinion about it. I feel like as long as your toenails aren't like, disgusting, then I have no, no issue with it.

[K]

Yeah, I agree. Because there's a lot of people that are like men and flip flops. Absolutely not such an ick. And I'm like, maybe it's because I've grown up, like on the beach.

[Elle]

So maybe wearing kind of like used to it.

[K]

Wearing sneakers to the beach is an ick.

[Elle]

I agree. That would be a huge red flag.

[K]

So like, what are your options?

[Elle]

Yeah, well, there's just some situations where you have to wear sandals.

[K]

The. The slides with socks is more of an ick to Me? Than. Than flip flops. I agree.

[Elle]

No, I agree.

[K]

But also an interesting choice for him to be wearing.

[Elle]

Yeah. I mean, I assume the Energizer Bunny is wearing blue flip flops. I can't imagine why else this detail would be included. Yep.

[K]

Oh, okay. Interesting. Yep.

[Elle]

He absolutely is. Yes. He has. He has blue flip flops on. So she is kind of like getting turned on by looking at him, I guess, for some ungodly reason.

[K]

Maybe she's a chubby chaser. That's fine.

[Elle]

Watson says, oh, little carrot, I can smell how wet you are for me.

[K]

I hate that.

[Elle]

Which I know you love.

[K]

I hate it so much. I hate it.

[Elle]

Let me take care of that need for you. I won't stop until you're screaming my name. And even then I'll keep going and going and going.

[K]

Clever. But I also hate that.

[Elle]

Huh?

[K]

Like, no. Well.

[Elle]

And so we do get a reasonable response from her, which is, what is your name? And so he finally introduces himself, and his name is Watson. And he says, and you are. And she replies, jewel. And he goes, well, Jewel, why don't you let me show you what a man with real power can do?

[K]

Which is clever, because Watson is spelled W, A, T T T, T, S, O, N. So wat. And a jewel is. I mean, that's spelled wrong.

[Elle]

But a jewel, but is also a measure of energy.

[K]

Clever. Very. Clever.

[Elle]

Very. And she thinks to herself, fuck, I think I'm gonna let this rabbit fuck me. And boy whomst among us is correct. So we switch back to Watson's perspective, and he fucking is already starting to lose it. Like, yeah, he talks a big game, but he's like, the things I'm going to do to you. I'm. I'll satisfy you until you can't take any more. And then she moans his name. And suddenly he's like, oh, shit, I'm gonna come. Like, what a fucking typical ass man.

[K]

Yes.

[Elle]

So we get more words for her vagina.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Continuing to lap at her hot box.

[K]

Gross.

[Elle]

I hate it. I can see that she needs more when her body bucks against my tongue. Regretfully, I leave the entrance to her sugar cave, dragging my tongue through her dripping canyon up to the peak of her pleasure. And then he gives a long, hard suck on her clit.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Mm. She grinds on his face. That takes my dick from a. AAA straight to a D, forcing a groan from my mouth.

[K]

Clever.

[Elle]

Yes. A D still isn't very big.

[K]

No, it's thicker. But the size of it, the length has not really changed all that much, which I mean, girth can make or break. So this is true.

[Elle]

It's not about the size. It's what you do with it sometimes.

[K]

It's about the size.

[Elle]

We all know we've got a little bit of a size sovereign here on this podcast.

[K]

No, I'm not. I'm really not.

[Elle]

A little bit. Just a little.

[K]

I'm really not. I just. There's such a thing as too small and that's the problem. Yeah, I. I mean, I'm not a size sovereign. Too big is scary.

[Elle]

I agree. I agree. So he increases his nose vibration while he's eating her out.

[K]

I just think about a bunny's nose, like, mm, mm. But also the whole time I was reading this, I was thinking about how rabbits have like sharp and sharp front teeth.

[Elle]

Yeah, those incisors. I do not want anywhere near my sugar cave.

[K]

I mean, she says to him. Because he. She screams out. And then he. She pulls on his ears, which apparently are a neurogenous zone.

[Elle]

Indeed.

[K]

I nearly become her own personal cream machine. Ew. From the stimulation and pull back, ready to ask her to slow down. But she screams, don't you fucking stop, bunny boy.

[Elle]

I was guaranteed satisfaction and I'm getting it. Yeah, you talked a big game. The fuck are you doing? And he's. He thinks I grab under her hips like my life depends on it. Focusing on lasting longer than her. Nothing outlasts amazing. This certainly shouldn't be any different. Like my guy.

[K]

However, your.

[Elle]

Your mouth is writing checks that your mouth can't cash. Like, what are we doing here?

[K]

But he. His stamina for the evening is fine.

[Elle]

So

[K]

the fact that he's going to be able to

[Elle]

bounce back.

[K]

Choose a.

[Elle]

That's true. No, you're right.

[K]

You're select a dick situation we've got going on here is like, what. What did we start with? You know?

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

So.

[Elle]

Yeah, you're right, you're right.

[K]

He comes all over the floor, which I. I knew you would hate. I hope it's hardwood.

[Elle]

Right? Like, not only does he come all over the floor that she looks. Looks down in horror and asks, shit, is that battery acid? Which was a crazy first impression, but also I guess, again, reasonable question indeed. And he glances down at his. A drop of cum remaining at the tip of my positive terminal. Meeting her eyes, I wipe it with my paw and extend it up towards her with a grin.

[K]

It.

[Elle]

Don't be shy, little carrot. Why don't you try some and find

[K]

out that's not what. If you think it could be battery acid, don't Try it.

[Elle]

Yeah, well. And she. She does try it. And it's not battery acid, she says. More like one of those cotton candy energy drinks.

[K]

I don't hate that.

[Elle]

But of course, I'm me. And I'm like, he's gonna come inside of her. I can see it coming. I know this is happening, and I'm already upset.

[K]

That's true. And she goes, well, I. I'm satisfied. Thanks. Interesting. But also. Okay, no, she did end up coming. So he came pretty much at the same time as she did, just all over her floor.

[Elle]

I just. I. I think. I think I wanted the orgasms to be from her perspective.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

You know?

[K]

Yeah. Do we get any from her perspective?

[Jennifer Prokop]

We do.

[Elle]

We do get one or two. I can't remember. Like, she's. She's gonna come multiple times.

[K]

We're.

[Elle]

We're happy for her, but.

[K]

So they move over to the chair that he had cleaned all of the laundry off of, and he pulls her onto her lap. Now, this was very. This worked.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

So he lays her back to his chest, spreads her legs, and continues to pleasure her.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

And he says, little carrot, feel what you do to me. You should see how hot you look. Completely on display. When was the last time you took the time to fully appreciate this amazing body? Fantastic.

[Elle]

Absolutely incredible.

[K]

I love it. No notes.

[Sarah McLean]

And

[K]

this was interesting because we got, like, two chapters without them being called chapters.

[Elle]

True.

[K]

Which is. I don't know if that was intentional.

[Elle]

Intentional or not. Anyway, so she thinks, fuck, I think I'm going to come again. I thought consecutive multiple orgasms were a myth or just some trait I wasn't blessed with. But this brilliant bunny bouncing me on his lap may very well prove me wrong. This was also you.

[K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elle]

And I hated this. I'm not sure I had heard this before, because she thinks instead of using that trouser snake I've been dry humping to fill my needy pussy, he pulls back. Is it still called a trouser snake if he doesn't wear pants? Whatever. It doesn't matter. Like, people call it a trouser snake.

[K]

I've heard it before.

[Elle]

That's crazy. Never in smut.

[K]

I feel like never in. I don't know. In a way that is, like, not supposed to be funny.

[Elle]

Right? Yeah. Yeah.

[K]

I feel like when you can, like, you know, try to figure out all the different names you could possibly call a penis.

[Elle]

Sure.

[K]

And that falls in the list.

[Elle]

Yep. Speaking of the list, he asks, does your sweet sleeve need to be stuffed?

[K]

Gross.

[Elle]

Absolutely disgusting. I hate It. And so he backs up and says, why don't you take your pick? And this is when we start to see him swap through his available appendages.

[K]

Yes. And they're all internal. I mean.

[Elle]

Yeah, they all like retract.

[K]

And then it somewhat made me think of like the Dyson airwrap, how it has all the different pieces that you like switch out. Yep. Except for him. It's almost like she, she says this is like a six disc CD changer but for cock. And he says more like a 10 disc changer.

[Elle]

I mean which like also I feel like we have dated Nicole Parker and Cassie of Unfortunate reads.

[K]

Yes, I agree.

[Elle]

Because there's not a 20something alive. I don't think who knows what a disc changer is.

[K]

That's true. That's true. Yeah. I think, I think that both of them are about my age.

[Elle]

That makes sense. They can't be any younger than me.

[K]

No. And, but so I'm picturing like when you were growing up, did your parents have like as part of the stereo system this the CD changer And you would, it would open up. The drawer would open up.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

The CD's in and it would spin them around. And sometimes if you wanted to get a CD out, you had to spin it a couple times to get the one.

[Elle]

You had to wait for it to come all the way around. Absolutely. So like 10 disc changer is crazy actually now that I'm thinking about it, because I don't think. I think we only had a six disc.

[K]

Yeah. I don't know that ten disc was even possible. But he's just saying he's got ten dicks.

[Elle]

Sure.

[K]

Ten dick changer. Yeah.

[Elle]

Yes. Oh my God. Huh. So he says you think about too much all the time. Now you're going to be a good girl and let me do all the thinking for you. The dream I have this highlighted and all my note says is K.

[K]

It's the dream. Somebody to fold your laundry and make those kinds of decisions for you. Yes. Where do I sign up?

[Elle]

So he inserts and his entire shaft begins to vibrate. And she cries out and he goes, oh, little carrot. That was close, but it still wasn't my name. I suppose I'll have to try harder. And he fucks her harder and she yells, oh. Ah. Energize me, daddy.

[K]

No, no,

[Elle]

no. Absolutely not.

[K]

Yeah, no, that's a big for me. Thank you.

[Elle]

So he fucks her so hard that she swears she sees Alessandro Volta instead of God. When the most electrifying orgasm sweeps through her.

[K]

That meant nothing to me.

[Elle]

Honestly, it meant nothing to me either.

[K]

Wow. So it's obscure then.

[Elle]

Italian chemist and physicist, the pioneer. A pioneer of electricity and power. Credited as the inventor of the electric battery. Okay, that makes sense.

[K]

But like, think about the writing process for this. Like. Yeah, writing. Who invented the battery?

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

How can I include that in there?

[Elle]

Indeed.

[K]

Fantastic.

[Elle]

Yep.

[K]

We get. He asks her if she's got another one in her or if her battery is completely drained. And. And he asks, did you blow a fuse, little carrot? What's your name? She says, Julie says, haven't come through on my promises. She hasn't forgotten her name.

[Elle]

Yep.

[K]

At first when I read this, I was like, she already told him what her name was. And then I was like, oh, wait, no. Yeah. He said that he would make her forget her name again, writing checks he can't cash.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[Sarah McLean]

So

[Elle]

he cycles through his dicks until he finds what he calls the. The purple headed love warrior.

[K]

Yep. Huh.

[Elle]

He flashes a wicked grin when he finally finds it. Or should I say them? The top cock is thick and ridged, perfect for grinding, with a knob designed to hit the G spot perfectly. The smaller dick beneath is longer and slimmer, curving out before narrowing to a soft point at the end. Small bumps cover the edges, giving it a texture I know she'll enjoy.

[K]

He says, it's going to feel so good when I stuff your anode with my cathode.

[Elle]

It's just anode.

[K]

Anode.

[Elle]

Okay. You want to repeat it?

[K]

No, because it doesn't matter because I wrote it down. Yeah. And it makes about as much sense as it does if I were to fix that pronunciation.

[Elle]

Fair enough. Like it.

[K]

Like.

[Elle]

Yeah, I. It's fine. A gasp leaves her lips as she. Even as she looks at me with confusion. I suppose my dirty talk is a little unusual compared to what she's experienced. Uh huh.

[K]

Yeah. Yep. That would take me out of the moment. I'd be like, what are you.

[Elle]

Same. What's.

[K]

What's an anode? That's got two things on it. So which one's my anode? Which one are you talking about? What's going on?

[Elle]

But. So she grabs a hold of his ears and she says, complete this circuit, Bunny, or I'll go back to Lone Rangering. And he replies, I'd hate for you to have to issue a customer complaint. So his bottom cock pushes past the tight ring of muscle, per usual.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

And he says, that's it, little carrot. I'm going to fill you up until you're bursting my electric Love juice will power you for days.

[K]

Could you imagine?

[Elle]

No.

[K]

Somebody said that to you? My electric love juice.

[Elle]

I think I would get up and walk out right then.

[Jennifer Prokop]

What if.

[K]

What if your fiance said something to you like that? What if he, like, secretly read this book. One day? Just popped out like my electrical.

[Elle]

I think I would burst out laughing. I think I would be so delighted that he read the book.

[K]

Oh, man.

[Elle]

But no, I don't think it would be erotic.

[K]

No.

[Elle]

It would be funny, though.

[K]

So she's nibbling at his ears.

[Elle]

Mm.

[K]

He's aggressively bottoming out.

[Elle]

Uh huh.

[K]

Um. And he says, keep going, little carrot. You're not at capacity yet. I know you can handle this load. Mm. No.

[Elle]

So he fucks her through her orgasm. Her fists clench in my fur moments before her pussy clenches around my cock. Jumbled noises rip from her throat as I fill her with my juice, thrusting a few times to give her every last drop of energy I have.

[K]

Chapter five is called yes. I've tried rubbing my nubbin

[Elle]

funny. So, yeah, she wakes up.

[K]

She falls asleep and then, yes, wakes up alone. And she's like, did I hallucinate the large pink rabbit that gave me the best multiple orgasms of my life? It was just wine, not edibles or something. I haven't done that since college.

[Elle]

But the throbbing soreness in her pussy and ass tells her that something happened last night and she doesn't think she could have done all that with her Jackrabbit 5000.

[K]

Yes. So she puts that. She turns it back on, vibrates wildly. She's disappointed that he doesn't reappear. And then she decides to put it back in her. Or she cleans it and then puts it back in her nightstand, which I know that you would appreciate the. I did.

[Elle]

I do appreciate the care and the cleanliness.

[K]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Elle]

And so she, thoroughly dipmatized and depressed, is upset that he is gone and is trying to give herself a little pep talk. So what if he was real Jewel? Who cares if he gave you the best orgasms of your life? It's not like you could have a giant pink O amazing bunny around even if he folded your laundry and took care of you for once. Like, girl, your standards are so low.

[K]

I get it. Fair.

[Elle]

So four days go by and she's still craving Watson's touch. She takes a day off work because she thinks she'll punish the next person who asks her a stupid question. And boy, do I get. So she plays hooky and meets her friend Allison, who's only here to make more puns about how she needs to get laid. And Allison says, well, how about a little alone time? And because her friend is making an innuendo, she is ignoring it. And her friend doubles down and goes, you know, some time tickling your tacos, surfing the slit, a little bang bang.

[K]

Yes, clitty, clitty, bang bang. I liked.

[Elle]

She emphasizes that last one with finger guns. And I grab her fingers and pull them down to the table, disarming her of her deadly digits.

[K]

Surfing the slit I like.

[Elle]

And she thinks, and she says, fine, yes, I'll try that. Maybe I'll treat myself to a new battery operated boyfriend while I'm at it.

[K]

Yes, this was where I was like, oh, right, that's what Bob was.

[Elle]

Bob is. Yes, yes. And then she thinks to herself, maybe if I use the Jackrabbit 5000 again, Watson will come back. So we get Watson's perspective.

[K]

Yes.

[Elle]

And he's back at work. And I wondered if this was a little office space reference because he's filling out form TPS 69. And now, of course, 69 makes sense to me. Haha.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

But I'm pretty sure TPS reports is an office space thing. Did you ever see that movie?

[K]

No. Which I know is like, unspeakable. For a millennial to not have watched

[Elle]

Office Space, that is insane to me. But it would appear that it is a real thing that was famously satirized in office space. That's a little depressing. But either way, he's filling out reports, his voice. His boss comes over, Mr. Faraday, naturally, and says, you still haven't turned in your report on case 3247Q. It's overdue. That's not like you, Watson. And of course, 3247Q is jewel.

[K]

Of course, of course, of course. I knew.

[Elle]

That's how we started the chapter was he's thinking about Jewel. I mean, case 3247Q. Because this is supposed to be a job.

[K]

I thought that. No, when you said that, I thought you meant that like 3247Q meant it was like some kind of thing for Jewel, like. And that's why I was like, of course. Yeah, sure, I knew that. Yeah, I wonder if. But now I need to know. 3247.

[Elle]

So he turns to start writing this report, he hears a cackle from his desk neighbor whose name is Sparky. And Sparky says, still hung up on that case, watsy boy, you know you'll retire before those batteries die. Amazing. Outlasts. Everyone. And so he thinks, I know he's right, but a bunny can dream. And boy, have I been dreaming. So he starts filling out this report, which is insane to me. Customer left unsatisfied by an inferior competing product O Amazing Batteries. Customer service agent dispatched to rectify situation. Customer resistant to acknowledge superiority of amazing product. Agent proceeded to thoroughly demonstrate usefulness by completing various common household tasks, including folding an organization of laundry cunningus and multiple bouts of fornication resulting in no less than four climaxes. Customer expressed full satisfaction and satisfaction. Agent was recalled to headquarters. I mean, common household tasks, sure. And he thinks, fuck, I want to get back to her. I need to get back to her. If only there was a way. Yes.

[K]

So then we're back to Jewel. She realizes that the batteries were dead when she first called him to her or whatnot. So she.

[Elle]

She needs to get the batteries to die.

[K]

Yes. So she first is like, okay, I'll just leave it on. On my bathroom counter. It falls off the bathroom counter, of course. So she puts it in a Tupperware and puts her hair dryer on top of it. This is one of those reasons why, like, you never know when you eat at somebody else's house, you never know what.

[Elle]

What's in their bathroom.

[K]

What do you mean? She used a Tupperware container. She put her vibrator in a Tupperware container.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Good point.

[K]

Good point.

[Elle]

It's like, what. What are we getting at here? I'm so confused. No, no, this is a very good point. Yeah. Oh, God.

[K]

So it only takes an hour. And after only an hour, my pussy plunger has plunged to an early death. Initially, I'm surprised and a little disappointed because, oh, amazing batteries should last longer than that. Then I remember I sold these from remotes and kids toys in a fit of desperation. So of course, they were already mostly used. Now, apparently, she had gone and bought brand new batteries.

[Elle]

She must have indeed, because she replaces

[K]

the batteries with four fresh ones and then turns it on and it starts to glow again.

[Elle]

Mm.

[K]

And a bunny appears. But she wasn't satisfied because she wasn't satisfied because she hadn't been able to make herself come. So she calls out to the beautiful pink bunny that's appeared in front of me, Watson. And he's very confused because he doesn't typically get called back to the same place.

[Elle]

It's never happened before. He was filling out another TPS 69 report for some teens after replacing the dead batteries on their video game controllers. And he's a little bit. Just stunned. He's bugging out. And she is getting the wrong idea because she says, shit, you look exactly like him. Look at me. I'm about to cry because my vibrator didn't turn into a specific pink bunny.

[K]

And we've all been at a level of desperation.

[Elle]

Yes, correct. And so she. She turns, she drops her head into her hands and she waves him away and says, I'm as satisfied as I can possibly be without Watson. You can go. And he says, little carrot, it's me. And she's delighted. Of course, I didn't know if that would work. They keep kissing. I'm so happy to be back. And

[K]

he, like, puts her up against the wall, pins her arms above her head. All great.

[Elle]

Those are.

[K]

Be a good girl and don't move. All great. So then he spins her around after she's come once.

[Elle]

Yep.

[K]

And flips to the next.

[Elle]

The next cock. Yep. His fuck stick starts vibrating wildly.

[K]

Yeah, we get the word fuck stick a couple times. I feel like in this we do. Which is, I do believe, interesting.

[Elle]

Uh huh.

[K]

Um.

[Elle]

She thinks, I never understood the appeal of a dick hitting your cervix until now. But the bite of pain along with the vibrating pleasure sends me over the edge quickly. No, thank you.

[K]

No.

[Elle]

We've got one. One last new one, I think, here. My cream canal puts a death grip on his clam hammer so tight he's struggling to push into me.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Oh. Nope, there's another one. With a cry, Watson fills my spasm chasm with his hot electric essence. The jizz jolt amps me up to my own mind blowing finish. My juice box squirting lady liquid drenching both of us.

[K]

Yeah. Was a lot, huh?

[Elle]

And so she worries for a moment that fluid would be bad for her bunny's electric parts because he uses robotics to switch out his dicks. Which is an interesting thought, and I appreciate the concern.

[K]

Yeah. But

[Elle]

it turns out she spoke aloud. And he says, don't worry, little carrot, you definitely made me short circuit. But all my joysticks are just fin. And she asks him if he's here to stay and he says, I think so. The executives that om azing must have realized that you won't be 100% satisfied without me by your side. Never has an O Amazing representative been sent back to the same client. And I don't feel the familiar pull of the portal that usually zaps me back to headquarters once my job is complete. So he's sticking around four days? Yep.

[K]

And he says, besides, this bunny promised you he could keep going and going and going. And I plan to keep that promise for the rest of our lives. Four days we skipped right over a relationship to till death do us part. Yes.

[Elle]

And then she thinks. Never did I think I would find true love from Buffin. My own muff. But I won't squander this chance. And then we get an epilogue. Because the ener. The Energizer Bunny is incomplete without his drum. So we had to get one last reference. But it turns out that he has purchased an entire drum kit for Jules. Three kids.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

We don't even get genders of the children. We just know that they are. There are.

[K]

Which I'm kind of okay with. Because honestly, children having any place in. It's just. It's not necessary.

[Sarah McLean]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't exactly need this scene either though.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Because the reason he got them drum kits was so that they would be in the garage making a lot of noise so that he can fuck her really loudly.

[K]

Yeah. I didn't like this a lot because he did something that's going to. Without her knowing about it.

[Elle]

Yep.

[K]

Which causes her stress and thinking about. Thinking about the. Because the kids are like, Mom's always saying that we're too loud. This is gonna. She's not gonna like this. And I'm like, oh, boy. I. She.

[Elle]

She's coming back from a spa day also. And it says any hint of relaxation she may have attained at the spa is being visibly wiped away as she listens to her children lose track of the beat and fall into their own chaotic, discordant rhythms. She shoots me a death Claire. Yeah.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Of course. But he sends them to the garage and says to her, it's been far too long since I've heard you scream my name. I promise the kids won't be able to hear a thing while they're practicing. This drum isn't the only thing I want to be banging today. Come on, Lil Carrot, let's go boom, boom, boom up to our room and make some music of our own.

[K]

Here's the thing. I didn't like this because we don't know how long it's been.

[Elle]

Uh huh.

[K]

But the kids call him Mr. Watson.

[Elle]

Yeah. No, they call him Mr. Mr. Bunny. Mr. Bunny. The tiny voice pulls me out of my fantasy. I look down to see the oldest of Jules kits looking up to me with big eyes.

[K]

Okay. So then she. When she refers to him though, because she says, go practice while I talk with Mr. Watson.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

If he's living in the home, that

[Elle]

gives me the Ick.

[K]

I don't like it.

[Elle]

I agree.

[K]

I think that this whole chapter, this whole epilogue could have been done without it. Kind of like.

[Elle]

It kind of ruins it for me.

[K]

Yeah, I didn't like it. But again, like, I don't like the four days and he moved in.

[Jennifer Prokop]

Yep.

[Elle]

Well, but that is where we end. So I'm curious, overall, how would you rate this one?

[K]

So I read this probably a year and a half ago. It was 2024. That was the last time I downloaded this to my Kindle Unlimited. So I read this a year and a half ago, and it was the start of my sentient object rabbit hole, if you will. This one, it's like, back then I was like, this is clever. I really like it. It still is very clever. But rereading it with how much more I've read in terms of the sentient object romances, it's like a two and a half for me.

[Elle]

Yeah,

[K]

very clever. Lots of research done. I think that this is one of the earlier books for Nicole Parker and unfortunate reads. This was August 31, 2024. She started writing in 2024. Both of them did.

[Jennifer Prokop]

I think so.

[K]

I think that, um, we've seen a lot of growth in both of them.

[Elle]

Yeah.

[K]

Um, so, yeah, two and a half for me. What about you? Yeah,

[Elle]

um, I think I'm going with two.

[K]

Okay.

[Elle]

I feel like some of the smut smutted.

[K]

Mm.

[Elle]

I was very impressed with some of the scenes. I would have liked more of her orgasms and less of his man thong and the entire end scene. Like, I'm already not a big fan of Insta Love. Like, that's just. That's just not my bag. But I was very clever. The puns are funny. Like, it is doing exactly what it intended to do. And for that, I think it's a solid read. It's a good. It's a good way to pass. Like an evening I. With a glass of wine. This would hit.

[K]

Yes, absolutely.

[Elle]

So how on earth did you cast this?

[K]

So strangely enough, my casts for this were not my first thought. My first thought for each of these characters were people that have of questionable standing in Hollywood right now.

[Elle]

I see.

[K]

So I went with For Jewel.

[Elle]

Love this pick.

[K]

This is perfect for Jewel. I went with Drew Barrymore.

[Sarah McLean]

Hell, yes.

[K]

And I mean, she is. I feel like if she read this book, this would be triggering for her. As somebody who is a single mother out in the dating world right now, she's very vocal about, like, finding going on dates and finding men in whatnot. Yeah.

[Elle]

Yes.

[K]

So I feel like she, if she read this book, she would be like, seeing herself in all of this as well.

[Elle]

Yep.

[K]

I love her. I think that she's so authentic and

[Elle]

that's, I think this is fabulous.

[K]

And then for Watson, this is the choice. I don't know why.

[Elle]

Uh huh.

[K]

This wasn't my, again, wasn't my original pick, but I went with Jake Gyllenhaal.

[Elle]

Sure.

[K]

I, I don't know.

[Elle]

I, there's something about it, it's, it kind of gives me. What was that movie? It was like source code or something. It's got the vibes of like a man with a job that like, ends up getting, it gets too personal for him and like he ends up being attached. I, I, I think this works.

[K]

Sure.

[Elle]

I think this works. I like it.

[K]

I mean, I think that he is, I don't know. I don't know why I saw his face when I was searching. And that's.

[Elle]

Here it is.

[K]

Yeah.

[Elle]

Very nicely done. So what are we reading next?

[K]

So next week we are reading, and this is another group project, Potluck, if you will. Potluck. Potluck from the Date series, which we had done my Date with Caps Lock a couple weeks ago. This is My Date with Bubble Tea by Sylvia Morrow, who we have not. I don't think we've done a Sylvia Morrow since Stuffed, since Stuffed, which is like episode two. So we are long overdue for a Sylvia Morrow book.

[Elle]

It's been 60 episodes. It's time to come back. Yes.

[K]

So that is next week. Are you reading anything else as of

[Elle]

late, outside of the podcast?

[Sarah McLean]

No.

[K]

I did.

[Elle]

I am very tempted by yesteryear.

[K]

Okay.

[Elle]

Which is being turned into a movie and I've heard some incredible things about it. It's a, I'm trying to remember who the actress is that picked it up yester here. Film adaptation. It is Anne Hathaway. Okay. It is Anne Hathaway and basically it's Trad Wife horror. It's a satirical thriller about a Trad wife influencer. And I'm fascinated by the idea.

[K]

I mean, tradwife lifestyle to me just sounds like a horror movie. Yes, yes.

[Elle]

So she gets, I think she gets like transported back to like Trad wife era, like 1800s, and, and has to like survive it, I guess. I don't know. And like, like kind of reconcile the harsh reality of what that mindset really is versus, like the picture that she painted for her millions of followers. I don't know. It's a, a controversial book and it's going to be a controversial movie and I am curious interesting how about you

[K]

I am still working on Till Death and Daisy's bloom yeah which as I'm reading I have come to realize that I believe this is a why choose where she's gonna end up with all of the deadly sins if I remember correctly I believe that's why I had downloaded it to begin with cause I had seen a reel with like if you like a wide shoes then and it was one of those like tons of mates don't mind it give me all of the mates yep but if you've made it this far don't forget to like follow subscribe tell your friends leave a comment We've got our videos up on YouTube as well if you are listening to the audio version of this you can find us on YouTube and we've also got merch links for that is in our show notes as well and with that we're at our wit's end I'll see you next time.