BITESIZE | 3 Simple Habits to Reduce Stress and Optimise Your Mental Health | Dr Julie Smith #499

Summary

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee
Episode Summary: BITESIZE | 3 Simple Habits to Reduce Stress and Optimise Your Mental Health | Dr Julie Smith #499
Release Date: November 29, 2024

In this insightful episode of "Feel Better, Live More," Dr. Rangan Chatterjee engages in a meaningful conversation with Dr. Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist and author of the best-selling book Why Has No One Told Me This Before? Together, they delve into three simple yet powerful habits that can significantly reduce stress and optimize mental health. The discussion centers around journaling, understanding personal values, and practicing mindfulness—each explored in depth to provide listeners with practical tools for enhancing their well-being.

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1. Journaling: A Personal Conversation

Timestamp: [02:11]

Dr. Julie Smith begins by emphasizing the profound impact of journaling on mental health. She describes journaling as a personal conversation that fosters clarity and emotional release.

Dr. Julie Smith: "The process of just putting something down on paper is a helpful way to sort of diffuse the thought. If you get your thoughts out onto a page, you can see them for what they are sometimes."

Key Insights:

• Accessibility: Journaling serves as an accessible alternative for those who may not have access to therapy or counseling, allowing individuals to process emotions independently.
• Emotional Clarity: Writing down thoughts helps in diffusing intense emotions and gaining clarity.
• Consistent Practice: Regular journaling can lead to a deeper understanding of one's feelings and mental state.

Dr. Smith shares her personal experience with journaling during her younger years, highlighting how it provided clarity during emotionally charged moments. This practice allows individuals to detach from overwhelming thoughts, facilitating a more objective view of their emotions.

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2. Identifying and Aligning with Personal Values

Timestamp: [03:50]

The conversation transitions to the importance of understanding and aligning with personal values. Dr. Smith introduces the concept of values within the framework of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Dr. Julie Smith: "Values are your reason for taking the exams might be because you always want to challenge yourself and learn as much as you can about the world."

Key Insights:

• Defining Values: Breaking down life into areas such as health, family, career, and creativity to identify what truly matters.
• Self-Assessment: Rating the importance of each area and assessing how well current actions align with these values.
• Dynamic Nature of Values: Recognizing that values can evolve over time and life circumstances, making regular "check-ins" essential.

Dr. Smith elaborates on how values differ from goals, explaining that while goals are endpoints, values are ongoing guides that influence behavior and decision-making. She underscores the flexibility of values, noting that they can change as one's life circumstances evolve, such as becoming a parent or shifting career paths.

Dr. Julie Smith: "Values are neither correct nor incorrect. It's working out what matters to you at that point in your life."

Practical Application:

• Mapping Values: Listing different life areas and bullet-pointing what matters in each.
• Rating Alignment: Assessing how closely current actions align with these values and identifying areas for improvement.
• Continuous Reflection: Encouraging ongoing evaluation to stay aligned with evolving personal values.

Dr. Smith shares her own values, such as being an enthusiastic parent and maintaining enthusiasm in various aspects of life, illustrating how personal values shape daily interactions and long-term goals.

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3. Mindfulness: Cultivating Present-Moment Awareness

Timestamp: [12:18]

The final habit discussed is mindfulness, a practice Dr. Smith initially approached with skepticism but later embraced as a valuable tool for mental clarity and stress reduction.

Dr. Julie Smith: "Mindfulness is noticing that your mind has gone somewhere and then guiding your attention back."

Key Insights:

• Understanding Mindfulness: Contrary to popular belief, mindfulness isn’t about intense concentration but about observing thoughts without judgment and gently bringing focus back to the present.
• Practical Experience: Dr. Smith shares her experience of using mindfulness during a stressful exam period, finding peace through running and focusing on the present moment.
• Mindfulness as a Skill: Developing mindfulness strengthens the ability to manage attention and reduce the impact of stressful thoughts.

Dr. Smith uses the analogy of a theater to describe mindfulness, where thoughts are like actors on stage. The practice involves choosing which "actors" to spotlight, allowing others to pass without attachment.

Dr. Julie Smith: "Mindfulness is choosing what you're going to focus your attention on and allowing everything else to come and go."

Practical Application:

• Spotlight Technique: Focus attention on specific sensations (e.g., the sound of feet on gravel) while acknowledging and releasing wandering thoughts.
• Integration into Daily Life: Encouraging the incorporation of mindfulness into routine activities, such as running, working, or interacting with others.
• Building Resilience: Regular mindfulness practice enhances the ability to stay present, reducing overall stress levels.

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Dr. Chatterjee and Dr. Smith provide actionable strategies backed by psychological principles, making complex mental health concepts accessible and applicable. By integrating journaling, aligning with personal values, and practicing mindfulness, listeners are equipped with effective tools to enhance their mental well-being and lead more fulfilling lives.

Notable Quotes:

• Journaling for Clarity:

  Dr. Julie Smith (02:11): "If you get your thoughts out onto a page, you can see them for what they are sometimes."

• Values vs. Goals:

  Dr. Julie Smith (03:50): "Goals can pass you by and sometimes mean less because they are part of the path."

• Mindfulness as a Spotlight:

  Dr. Julie Smith (14:56): "Mindfulness is the process of choosing what you're going to focus your attention on and allowing everything else to come and go."

This episode serves as a valuable resource for anyone seeking to simplify their approach to mental health, offering practical habits that are easy to incorporate into daily life for lasting positive change.

Transcript

[Dr. Rangan Chatterjee]

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[Dr. Julie Smith]

That can help us all look after.

[Dr. Rangan Chatterjee]

Our happiness and our mental well being.

[Dr. Julie Smith]

I've heard you say that if there was one practice you could prescribe to everyone in the world, it would be journaling. What is it you like so much about journaling? And are there some universal practices that yes, we're all unique, we've all got different preferences. But are there some things that you found time and time again that always seem to work with people? And I guess is journaling one of them?

Yeah. And you know, I guess for people who are able to access things like therapy or counseling and go to see someone and see that as something that's possible to them, it's fantastic and there is so much potential in that. But there are also this huge group of people that don't see that as an option for them, maybe, maybe they're just not able to talk about things. And so that's really where the idea of, you know, for everyone actually journaling is an option. And even when I think about back when I was really young, anytime that I felt kind of full of emotion or something that I wasn't really clear on or able to understand, I would write stuff down and and I would always have that experience of you write for long enough and you get this kind of, oh, yeah, a bit of clarity on it. And actually the process of just putting something down on paper is a helpful way to sort of diffuse from the thought. If you kind of, you get your thoughts out onto a page, you can see them for what they are sometimes. And just that process is helpful in itself.

Yeah. I see journaling as having a conversation with yourself that you're. It's very hard when you're in your thoughts and your mind to have that kind of, that detachment from it. So I think journaling is helpful. Values is something that's come up a couple of times in the conversation. There's a whole section in the book on values. You seem to me as someone who's very grounded, who knows what's important to them, and therefore it helps you navigate, you know, all of these potential pitfalls with a lot more self assuredness. What are values? And when did you start going through that process of kind of trying to define what they were for you?

Sure. So there's a therapy called acceptance and commitment therapy, so ACT for short. And a big aspect of that therapy is really looking at your own value system. What's important to you, what matters to you most in your life. And there are lots of different ways to kind of just literally kind of map it out. You can actually put on paper the different aspects of your life. So it might be health, family, intimate relationships, friendships, lifelong learning, career, whatever, creativity. And you can kind of put all of those different areas of your life on a page and just start to bullet point, what matters to me in that area of my life and why and not, not what do I want to happen to me? But, but what kind of person do I want to be in the face of anything? So you know, how do I want to come at this area of my life? What kind of attitude do I want to have? You know, what kind of friend do I want to be, what kind of partner do I want to be? Or mother or father? And you, and you get these kind of, these sort of buzzwords or different kind of bullet points that just ring true for you as a person. You can just, just give it a number. You can rate, okay, how important is this area of my life to me? And you might say 10 out of 10. You know, it's so important. And then you can also rate, okay, how much do I feel like I'm living in line with those values at the moment? And if you rate it as, as high, then fantastic, you know, you kind of doing well. And, and if you rate it as Low. It's not necessarily an opportunity to be self critical, but it's an opportunity to go, okay, that area of my life really matters to me, but I'm not living in line with the values that I hold around that. What's pulling me away from that, why am I not doing that at the moment and how could I steer towards it so that those numbers come closer together? And so that's a really great way of kind of looking at your values. And values are very different to goals. So a goal is something that once you get there, it's done. So a goal might be, I want to pass my exams. And when you pass through exams, you've done it and it's finished. But your value, you know, your reason for taking the exams might be because you always want to challenge yourself and learn as much as you can about the world. Okay. So the exam becomes a part of that path. So goals can pass you by and sometimes mean less because they are part of the path. So you know, you can overcome sort of failures and things along the way if you've got a very clear value around it.

Yeah, the values change or are they always the same for people?

Yeah, absolutely. They change depending on what's going on in your life, what the situation is. You know, I could never have imagined that what my value system might have been like before I had children. You know, it changed virtually overnight and, and that's okay. And actually a conversation I was having a little while ago with someone was around. What if I'd known when I was younger the values I needed to have in order to be okay and be happy and be successful. And it's like, well, you could never have known that, you know, that, I don't know, fame or fortune wasn't going to bring you happiness. You had to experience that to then learn from it, to then adjust your value system. And so it's okay for values to change because a value system is neither correct nor incorrect. You know, it's not finding the perfect value system. It's working out what matters to you at that point in your life. So that's why I kind of advise people to keep doing the little check ins and just back to your values at any one point. Because I think a lot of people that come along to therapy who have that sense of, I don't know really what the problem is, but things just aren't enough. Things just don't feel right and, and so they can't really pinpoint that problem. And it's often because life has pulled them away. From a set of values for whatever reason that life has pulled them away from something that actually means a lot to them. And so I just find it a really kind of valuable tool.

I think this idea of values changing and that it's okay to change and there's no right or wrong. They're your values, right? Do they feel right to you? I think it's very empowering. And when I think of them changing, you can think of, certainly I can think of a couple of scenarios where sure, as you mentioned, different stages in your life, like your values as a teenager may be different in your 20s or your 30s or your 40s. Right. So time wise, I think values can change. But even, even within, let's say, let's say one of your values is, I don't know, family and friends or relationships nourishing, close relationships, for example. And you know, that's important to you and you score it as, you know, 10 in importance. But when you look at it, you're like, well, I'm only giving it a 2 out of 10 at the moment in terms of my time. But you may also go, yeah, but my job isn't going to be this busy forever. But for these three weeks there's this kind of project that the whole company had been looking at for the last year. So yeah, for the next three weeks I know it's going to stay a two, but as soon as this project's over, I'm going to get it back up to an 8 or 9, do you know what I mean? So I think it can change in many different ways and it comes back to awareness and that's where it needs.

Is so crucial that it doesn't become a tool for being self critical and getting down on yourself. It has to be a learning experience and a mapping out of your life. You know, am I in the place I want to be and being the person I want to be? And if not, how can I adjust? Because like you say, there are nuances, aren't there? And sometimes, you know, life will pull you away from different areas and sometimes that's because that's the path and that's okay. So yeah, you've got to look at it with always, with curiosity rather than criticism and self attack.

Are you able to articulate what some of your values are in life?

Yeah, I think a key part of my values at the moment is around being the parent I want to be. And that involves being present a lot of the time and how I can balance that and come, you know, kind of different values that People might not kind of imagine are values, but one of my values over the last few years has been enthusiasm. So come at everything with some enthusiasm, whether it be my parenting or the work that I'm doing. And I don't always manage that, you know, it's not always. Doesn't mean I do it perfectly and it's always there. But it's just a word I like to come back to because I find that really powerful, that I love enthusiastic people and I'd love to experience being like that. So I kind of tried to keep that as whatever I'm doing, try to do it with some enthusiasm.

It's a powerful word that, you know, as you said, enthusiasm, I could feel my body language change. It is, it kind of evokes a really good feeling, you know, because what I love about that as a value and obviously it's unique to you, but I suspect there's going to be a lot of people listening or watching you go, yeah, quite. I might take that for me, I might, I might borrow that one for me. But it's a value that you can apply. It's not dependent on your job or where you are in life. It's something you can, you know, it goes across everything. So you can be enthusiastic with the barista at the cafe, you can be enthusiastic when you're making a video. Yeah, you'll be enthusiastic with your kids. Like it's, it's kind of, as you said before, the number of followers you've got is not who you are. But I guess your values are kind of who you are, right?

Yeah, they're sort of a vision in your mind of who you want to be and how you want to come at life, whether that's a, you know, a good or bad situation for you. So, yeah, it's almost like a sort of something to hold on to. And I like to kind of see it as a path. So it never ends. It's not done. It's never done perfectly and it's never complete. It's just this, a never ending path that you always try to stay as close to as possible as you, you know, go through your sort of journey of life, as it were, and, and sometimes you'll be pulled away from that. You know, maybe your health will, you know, fluctuate or something awful will happen in your life and it will completely pull you away from that. And, and it's always about, you know, repeatedly re evaluating and trying to steer back towards it when you can.

Yeah. One of the funnest parts of the book for me was when you described you as a trainee clinical psychologist and you guys were being taught mindfulness. And I think you were talking about how skeptical you were. You thought, there's no way I could do this. There's no way I'm going to talk about this with people who come to see me and help. And then you explained how you once went running and how it completely changed your perspective on it. So maybe let's dive into mindfulness. What is it? Why were you so skeptical and how was it useful for people? Tell me a little bit about that experience.

Yeah, so it was exam season. Stress was high. I was just full of kind of, oh, I should be doing this. I've got to do that when I get back. And. And I could feel the stress. And I thought, you know what? I'm just going to try. I'm just going to see if this will help. I'm just gonna, you know, try and be mindful. So I focus my mind on the sound of my feet on the gravel path, which is that crunching, crunch and crunch sound as I went along. And my mind left that sound a thousand times. You know, I would think, oh, that email got to reply to. Or I need to do more vision on that and haven't added that to my. Whatever. You know, my mind went off to lots of stressful things and each time I just bought it back. And because I was moving my body and I was outdoors and there was lots to bring me to the present and the sound as well of my feet on the gravel, I was able to keep doing that. And then by the time I got back, I noticed that I had spent that run focusing on the present, you know, that obviously there were these little moments where my mind would go off, but actually I had more time feeling calmer and. And focused on the here and now than I would have done if I'd had just gone through my to do list while I was running. Mindfulness is that process of staying in the present so observ the thoughts that come into your mind, not trying to stop having any. A lot of people think that mindfulness is the ultimate in concentration. And if you. I don't know if you're trying to be mindful of this glass, that the minute your attention is not on that glass, you failed and you've got mindfulness wrong. And it's really not that. It's, you know, your mind will wander to this thought and that thought, and it'll bring up stories and memories and it'll hear the car outside or all that kind of thing. Mindfulness is noticing that your mind has gone somewhere and then guiding your attention back. So I love to think of mindfulness as a spotlight. So if you say, you know, your mind is a theater and actors are, you know, your thoughts so different, actors will come on stage. You can't control who's coming on stage or how long they're going to be there. But all you have is the spotlight.

Yeah.

And you can choose which ones you're going to focus on and for how long. And so mindfulness is that process of choosing what you're going to focus your attention on and allowing everything else to come and go. And yeah, when we were trainees and it's almost embarrassing now to even think that we behave like that. You know, we were supposed to be so open minded. But it really makes you think. This is really difficult stuff to teach people because it does give you that sense of, well, this sounds really weird and not helpful at all. And I absolutely had those judgments in the beginning and, and it was only once I started using it that I had that oh right, yeah, this is helpful moment. And that's when I thought, oh yes, I had these little micro moments of peace. And, and actually, you know, mindfulness isn't about making you feel calm and peaceful. It's not a relaxation exercise. It's practicing that sort of mental muscle, if you like, to be able to choose which thoughts you're going to pay attention to and which ones you're going to let pass. And that is an incredible skill to be able to utilize.

Hope you enjoyed that bite sized clip. Do spread the love by sharing this episode with your friends and family. And if you want more, why not go back and listen to the original full conversation with my guest. If you enjoyed this episode, I think you will really enjoy my bite sized Friday email at called the Friday five and each week I share things that I do not share on social media. It contains five short doses of positivity, articles or books that I'm reading, quotes that I'm thinking about, exciting research I've come across and so much more. I really think you're going to love it. The goal is for it to be a small yet powerful dose of feel good to get you ready for the weekend. You can sign up for it free of [e-mail] Friday 5 Hope you have a wonderful weekend. Make sure you have pressed subscribe and I'll be back next week with my long form conversational Wednesday and the latest episode of Bite Science next Friday.