
So much of our happiness seems conditional. “I’ll be happy when...” I get the job, the relationship, the money, or simply a sunny day. But when our wellbeing relies on external, fleeting things, it’s on a shaky foundation. When we tie our sense of happiness and contentment to getting or achieving something externally, it feels constantly out of reach.
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If my happiness and if my freedom has conditions, it is not free. I am happy because I have a job. I'm happy because I have a relationship. I'm happy because I have a lot of money on my bank account. I'm happy because the sun is shining. But all of these things, ultimately they are not in your hands. If your employer fires you, you don't have the the finance anymore and you don't have the job. And if your partner leaves you, you also don't have a relationship anymore. And if the weather starts to change, you also don't have sunshine anymore. So what happens in that moment when these things fall away? Your happiness that was related to it would also fall away. And this is a type of basing your life quality on something which by nature already does not make sense because it never stays sunny. It's not happening. It doesn't make sense to place your well being on something that is eternally changing.
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It makes me think of where we started this conversation, talking about self mastery. The only thing we can ever master is ourselves. And if we're dependent on those externalities. Those externalities are always going to change. And so many of us are reliant on our job, on the car that we drive, on our status, on the weather, whatever it might be. In order to feel good. When everything is going just the way we want it to go, we feel good. And when something changes, as it always does, we then feel low and depressed and we struggle.
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The main point is to actually figure out for yourself how much and to what are you attached in your lifetime. And everything you are attached to is what makes you heavy.
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Everything you're attached to is what makes you heavy.
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Makes you heavy, meaning makes you become unmovable. You can't move, you cannot proceed. You are stuck somehow. If you are, if you are stuck, you can't move. The problem is the whole universe and this life is about moving on. And the best way how to continuously move on is to not have too many attachments in your lifetime. Everybody has different attachments. It's always the same structure. The more you are attached, the more difficult it is to move on. That is the general pattern, at least in our tradition. I can only talk about what our emphasis is. Okay, Whether it's left or it's right. In a way, you are fine with the left way, and you are fine with the right way. What we would like to develop is if you go left anyway, since you decided already, you put all your commitment, you put all your energy into the left way without crying about the middle way and the right way. If you take the right way, you should also be able to 100% commit to the right way. But it doesn't make sense to still carry the suffering and the regret of what everything you, you did not do in your lifetime, that doesn't make sense because you can't change it anymore. And this is the point where sometimes you give yourself no choice. Yeah, no choice. Because if you have no choice, this is like what one of my masters also used to teach us and used to tell us. And it makes perfectly sense. If you have no choice. There is no other way than putting everything that you can do, all your energy into this path.
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I love the way you talk about that. I love the fact that you talk about this idea of restriction is a way of helping people get rid of those externalities. I mean, for someone who's listening master and is thinking, look, I am someone who's dependent on these things for my well being, how can I start developing that inner self awareness and that inner reliance as opposed to the external reliance without coming to your temple for 12 months. What are some of the ways that they can start to do that?
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Now, prior to answering this question, one very, very important thing. I am not saying people should get rid of all of the things that brings them joy and happiness. This is not what I said. If you like to be in a relationship, what I'm saying is enjoy it even more as long as it is there. If you like to dress nicely, if you like to have nice watches, if you like to collect cars, build cars, drive cars, do it as long as you can, even with more joy. So don't take it as granted. But at the same time, I'm saying don't attach to these things. Right now you have this great chance in experiencing all of this. So experience to the fullest. But in the moment, it's gone, and which is going to happen sooner or later, it's going to happen. Learn at the same time to not get attached to it. This is the whole process we humans are finding ourselves in this lifetime. It's a constant up and down of having and losing, of rising and falling. This is what makes, like human life, human life. That, that is the structure of our world. The sun rises, the sun sets, the day comes, the night arises. We are inhaling, we are exhaling. This is human life, okay? And this, this type of pattern, I think it makes sense to embed this a little bit into your reality. This type of pattern of up and down, in and out, left and right, having and losing success and failure, maybe you will realize that this type of pattern is found from birth to death. And if then the question arises is that all is this now life, the constant change of left and right, up and down. Well, if this question starts to come, then there are other perspectives, then there are other possibilities that maybe for you can start to open up. See, and this is the point where now in the ancient traditions, sometimes in the Buddhist teachings, it is said, don't live in the extremes, don't live in the extreme high, don't live in the extreme low. So not here and not here. Buddhism in a way is called the Middle Way. The Taoist teachings known for the Yin and Yang symbol. So what's the emphasis on yin and Yang, of understanding that there is a pattern also? And also that yin and Yang, they both are dependent on each other. And what's the point of understanding this? Because it gives you a better understanding that there is something else which we call harmony, which we call peace, which we call balance. So there is nothing which is fluctuating so much anymore. Always return back to balance, harmony, peace, stability. Something that cannot be shaken. And this can only be found in something. I make it super simple now. It is something mind related. It cannot be physically related, it cannot be meta related. It is mind related. Discovering yourself, this is where it's related to.
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Yeah, thank you. What are some of your favorite practices that enable your students or the wider public to do that self investigation and go inward to learn.
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Something that is really useful for the beginning. It can be the simple realization when I wake up in the morning and then I, in the moment I like start to open my eyes. In the moment all the five senses start to become active. I wake up and automatically my awareness is being driven outwards. I'm looking for something outside of me to look at. I'm noticing all the sounds that are around me, what I feel, let's say on my skin. So all the sensations of my body. In the moment you are awake, your awareness is being drawn outwards. It's a natural process, it's naturally happening. The first realization is that there's also another area of watching. But not watching something outside of you. It's watching what goes on inside of the body. So literally Meaning sometimes trying to figure out if you can watch inside yourself and let's say then feel what other areas of the body are you made out of? Meaning the skeleton, the bones, the muscles, the tendons, the organs. So sensing what goes on inside of yourself, the same is like listening. Not listening to what, what is like around you in terms of. Of sound, but listening inside of you. What signals is your body, yourself, what can you, what. What can you identify listening inside of yourself. So the point is there are two ways where your awareness can, can spread to. Either you are losing your awareness with outside circumstances, or you can sometimes just catch back your awareness and bring it back to you, which is literally then sometimes call. Well, that is mindful. You are mindful about what's going on about yourself. And this is the very, very first step of being able to differentiate. There is something that lies outside of you, obviously. But there's also another area, another perspective. How you can walk through the day but still have your awareness with yourself. It doesn't mean one or the other is better. We need both, we live in both worlds. But it's the first realization that to have proper adjustment, to really know which buttons do I have to turn or do I have to push in order to, let's say improve my, my, my well being, to improve my life. I think you need to know and have a picture of all areas that make our life, that make our existence the way as it is. And this means it's a big part of who are you? Who are you? What are you?
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For that person who is really struggling in their life and there's something that they heard from you, they thought, yeah, I can make a change, I can transform myself. I don't want to live life the way I'm leading it today. But they don't know where to start. I wonder if you could provide some final words of inspiration for them, please.
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It's not going to be worth of wisdom, it's going to be action. Sometimes we are just thinking too much. We are thinking too much, okay. But remaining where you are and just thinking, thinking, thinking all the time is not going to make it better. So my very first suggestion would be put in a new structure of the day. This can mean already you wake up 10 minutes, 15 minutes earlier than you usually do. And in these 10 or 15 minutes you put in any type of practice. It doesn't matter. This is the time that now I'm dedicating purely on myself. So therefore I would say regardless of what type of exercises, what type of awareness enhancing exercise it is, it can be breathing exercise, it can be sitting meditation, it can be the combination of meditative practices combined with movement and breathing, which is like what nowadays people know as qigong. Yeah. So any type of these methods is perfectly fine. But the main point is that in the moment you are starting these practices, your mindset also must fit. And that means you must really tell to yourself, this is my time now. It's very, very helpful to just put in directly some practice, some action, some doing. Except for just dwelling thoughts in the mind, looking for the proper way of how to now start the transformation. The transformation already happens in the moment your daily structure starts to look different.
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Hope you enjoyed that bite sized clip. Do spread the love by sharing this episode with your friends and family. And if you want more, why not go back and listen to the original full conversation with my guest. If you enjoyed this episode, I think you will really enjoy my bite sized Friday email. It's called the Friday five and each week I share things that I do not share on social media. It contains five short doses of positivity, articles or books that I'm reading, quotes that I'm thinking about, exciting research I've come across and so much more. I really think you're going to love it. The goal is for it to be a small yet powerful dose of feel good to get you ready for the weekend. You can sign up for it free of charge@drchatterjee.com Friday 5 Hope you have a wonderful weekend. Make sure you have pressed subscribe and I'll be back next week with my long form conversational Wednesday and the latest episode of Bite Science Times next Friday.
Podcast Summary: Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee
Episode: BITESIZE | How to Become Happier Today | Master Shi Heng Yi #501
Release Date: December 6, 2024
In episode #501 of Feel Better, Live More, host Dr. Rangan Chatterjee engages in a profound conversation with Master Shi Heng Yi, a 35th-generation Shaolin master renowned for his expertise in Chinese martial arts and Zen Buddhism. This insightful discussion delves into the nature of happiness, the impact of attachments on our well-being, and practical strategies for cultivating inner peace and self-mastery.
Master Shi Heng Yi opens the dialogue by addressing the often overlooked aspect of conditional happiness—the tendency to base our joy on external factors. He emphasizes that when happiness is contingent upon circumstances such as a job, relationships, financial status, or even the weather, it becomes fragile and transient.
Master Shi Heng Yi [01:57]:
"If my happiness and my freedom have conditions, it is not free. I am happy because I have a job... but all of these things, ultimately they are not in your hands."
This perspective underscores the inherent instability of relying on fleeting externalities for sustained happiness. Master Shi warns that such dependencies can lead to profound sadness when those external conditions change, a common occurrence in the ebb and flow of life.
The conversation progresses to explore how attachments can weigh us down, making it difficult to navigate life's inevitable ups and downs. Master Shi explains that excessive attachment to material possessions, status, or relationships can create a form of emotional heaviness that immobilizes personal growth and adaptability.
Master Shi Heng Yi [04:23]:
"Everything you're attached to is what makes you heavy... The problem is the whole universe and this life is about moving on."
He draws parallels between human attachments and the natural cycles of the universe, such as the rising and setting of the sun, highlighting that change is a fundamental aspect of existence. By reducing attachments, individuals can achieve greater freedom and fluidity in their lives.
Dr. Chatterjee and Master Shi discuss the concept of self-mastery—asserting that the only true mastery one can achieve is over oneself. Master Shi posits that by focusing inward and developing inner resilience, individuals can navigate external changes without their happiness being compromised.
Master Shi Heng Yi [07:24]:
"Experience to the fullest. But in the moment, it's gone, and which is going to happen sooner or later, it's going to happen. Learn at the same time to not get attached to it."
This approach advocates for a balanced engagement with life's pleasures and challenges, encouraging individuals to savor moments without clinging to them, thus fostering a stable sense of well-being.
Master Shi introduces the concept of the Middle Way, a foundational principle in Buddhist teachings, which advocates for moderation and balance. He explains how embracing the Yin and Yang philosophy—recognizing the interdependence of opposites—can lead to harmony and inner peace.
Master Shi Heng Yi [10:15]:
"Buddhism is called the Middle Way... Understanding that there is something else which we call harmony, which we call peace, which we call balance."
By internalizing this balance, individuals can maintain equilibrium amidst life's fluctuations, reducing the emotional turmoil that often accompanies extreme highs and lows.
The dialogue further explores practical methods for cultivating self-awareness. Master Shi outlines simple yet effective practices that listeners can incorporate into their daily lives to foster mindfulness and inner reflection.
a. Morning Awareness: He suggests starting the day with a few minutes of self-observation, shifting focus from external stimuli to internal sensations.
Master Shi Heng Yi [12:10]:
"In the moment you are awake, your awareness is being drawn outwards... The first realization is that there's also another area of watching... watching what goes on inside of the body."
b. Mindful Listening: Practicing mindful listening involves tuning into the body's signals rather than external noises, enhancing the connection between mind and body.
c. Structured Daily Practices: Master Shi advocates for dedicating specific times each day to mindfulness practices, such as breathing exercises, meditation, or qigong, to reinforce inner stability and awareness.
Addressing listeners who may feel stuck or overwhelmed, Master Shi offers pragmatic advice to initiate personal transformation. He emphasizes the importance of action over perpetual contemplation.
Master Shi Heng Yi [16:13]:
"It's not going to be worth of wisdom, it's going to be action... My very first suggestion would be put in a new structure of the day."
He recommends small, manageable changes such as waking up earlier to incorporate mindfulness practices, thereby creating a foundation for lasting change. Master Shi highlights that transformation begins with altering daily routines and committing to consistent self-care practices.
In this episode, Master Shi Heng Yi imparts timeless wisdom on achieving genuine happiness by minimizing attachments and fostering inner resilience. Dr. Rangan Chatterjee and Master Shi collaboratively outline a path toward self-mastery, emphasizing balance, mindful practices, and actionable steps to enhance overall well-being. Listeners are encouraged to embrace these principles to navigate life's challenges with grace and maintain a stable sense of happiness irrespective of external circumstances.
Key Takeaways:
By integrating these insights, listeners can embark on a journey toward a more fulfilling and balanced life, embodying the ethos of "Feel Better, Live More."