
Join your host Brett Goldstein as he talks life, death, love and the universe with the wonderful actor and comic ANDI OSHO!
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B
Look out. It's only Films to Be Buried With. A Rewind Classic. Hello and welcome to Films to Be Buried With Rewind Classic. My name is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian and actor, writer, a director await and I love films. As Roy T. Bennett once said, pursue what catches your heart, not what catches your eyes. But on the other hand, do go see Dungeons and Dragons on or Among Thieves because it's really delightful. It's actually fantastic. Fair enough. Good point. Roy T. Bennett well done. Every week I invite a special guest over. I tell them they've died. Then I get them to discuss their life through the films that meant the most to them. Previous guests include Barry Jenkins, Kevin Smith, Sharon Stone, and even Craig Plambles. But this week it's the brilliant comedian, actor, writer, novelist and movie star Isandy Osho. Head over to the patreon@patreon.com BrettGoldstein where you get an extra 20 minutes of chat with Andy. We talk about secrets, we talk about beginnings and endings. You also get the whole episode uncut and as a video. Check it out@patreon.com BrettGoldstein Andy Osho is amazing. I love this episode so much. She was a brilliant comedian. Started out around the same time as me. She left comedy or certainly took a break from it to go on an amazing journey. She made huge decisions for her mental health and for her life and for her spiritual growth. You'll hear all about it on the episode. I think she's brilliant. She's incredible actor, she's a movie star. She's all of it. Anyway, this episode's amazing. We recorded it on Zoom. It was so lovely to talk to her and I really think you're going to love it. So that is it for now. I Very much hope you enjoy episode 242 of Films to Be Buried With. Hello and welcome to Films to Be Buried With. It is me, Brett Goldstein, and I am joined today by an actor, a writer, a novelist, a screenwriter, an award winner, a stand up comedian, an international liberer, a. A woman, a hero, a legend, a rising star and a soaring heights. Please. She's here. She's real. Can you believe it? I can. I'm looking right at her. She's on the show at last. Please welcome Isadi Osho.
C
Oh my gosh. What? I mean, can that be the whole show? Just that intro, that's it. And then just like we send out a PDF of a list of films or something like that. I mean, I'm done.
B
That's not a bad idea. A little PDF. I mean, no one cares about the film bit, they just want the intro. How are you, Andy Osho?
C
I'm very well, thanks. Brett Goldstein. How are you?
B
I'm good now I'm in la. You're in England. We're recording this on Zoom. I've got so many things to ask you, big things. Because you, if I may say, are fascinating. There, I said it. Oh, wow.
C
It's out there.
B
Yeah. The truth is out. And I sometimes think of you, if I may, sort of like you're the George Harrison of the UK comedy scene. Like, I think you started in comedy, you like soared away, huge news, started tv. And then it seemed, it looked like you left it all to go on a spiritual quest. And I loved that. And I'm so fascinated by it. And then you suddenly. I suddenly saw you in a horror film, an American horror film. Turned up with a perfect American accent. I was like, wow, what's a spiritual quest? Came out. A horror, Horror icon. What, can we talk about this? And then you write the novel. I mean, who are you? What a life.
C
Right? So I'm kind of. But there's actually three of us. That's. Yeah, I'm one of three triplets. I mean, that's how triplets come anyways, isn't it? But that's really funny that that's. That's what it looked like from the. Yeah.
B
To me. I haven't discussed it, I haven't checked with other people if they agree with this. Yeah, but I was always fascinated because you were so. I'm interested in people who are naturally very good at something and do very well, who then decide it's not making them happy. I assumed it didn't make you happy or something was missing and it's so interesting.
C
Yeah, that's exactly right. I mean, you know, I started as an actor and then I said to myself, like, I wasn't getting any love kind of from the industry. I mean, I was a bit. I was getting auditions, but I wasn't, like, landing any roles. So I was like, what can I do that will let me have a bit more control, that I'm not waiting for someone else's approval before I can do the thing that I love? And then that's how I. I got into stand up. And I think when I started, I don't know about you, but I felt like it was a bit of a game. I was enjoying the game of it. Like, oh, that joke didn't work. What can I do to make it work? Ooh, that worked. And then I moved that and like, it was almost like this really interactive puzzle almost. And. And so. So, yes, I really enjoyed it in the early days. And I remember the first time I got paid and I was like, oh, oh, this has changed everything because now. Now. Yeah, because now there's a contract.
B
Yeah.
C
Do you know what I mean? It's not about my puzzle.
B
You can't lose the game.
C
No, exactly. Exactly.
B
I've been paid to win this.
C
Yeah. And I remember going around going, oh, you know, I think that's me. I'm out. This is like about six months in. And, you know, the people was like, you're not. You clearly love it, so, you know, you're not going to. You're not going to tap out now. And then I kept going and then it just. It just blew up. Like, I mock the week was the first thing that they were really the first people that backed me in any meaningful way. That sort of got me. And then it sort of. It's almost like that was the endorsement that other producers needed to go, oh, no, we were gonna have you on our show before.
B
We always said, yeah.
C
So then it. Yeah, it just sort of snowballed. And then I realized only recently that it was actually only a couple of years. I was doing all the panel shows and the Apollos and all that. And then round about the start of 2012. So my first month of the week was beginning of 2010. And then round about 2012, I was like, man, I'm unhappy. Yeah. Like, and that was probably. Probably because that year I did my second Live at the Apollo. I did, you know, a couple of weeks probably, and, you know, a bunch of other stuff. But I. I've never been more. I mean, that was the worst bout of depression I've ever had. And I, I have had it before. And yeah, so I, I did basically what you said and I, I took myself away and just had a little think about what do I really want? Because there was this big chasm opening up between who I was on stage. I even referred to her in the third person sometimes of like who that person is and who I am. The gap was getting bigger. I didn't dress like her, I like her, I didn't. Do you know what I mean? She was, she was just someone I. Not only did I not recognize, but I just, I didn't have the energy to be her anymore. Do you know what I mean? So, yeah.
B
Can I ask you, was that like in terms of your sort of consciousness of it, was it like you were just busy, busy, busy, busy, busy and then like one thing happened and you were like, fuck, I'm unhappy. Or was it actually you were feeling consciously unhappy for a long time?
C
It was more like it was a growing sense of something but I didn't name it. And then actually I was on a course and I. It's sort of like a well being course kind of thing. And I came out of the other end of it. Everyone else is kind of euphoric at the end of this thing. And I was literally in despair and to the point where the facilitator kind of called me, called me in and he was just like, what's up? Because, you know, he was so used to people leaving this place or leaving this like weekend program in quite a sort of altered state and just like different perspective on the world now. I was just like, I think I might just. I think I might be done with living, you know, so it was like, it was really, it was really bad. I had to stop working actually. And I had gigs booked in and. And actually I was going to. Do you remember that they don't do it anymore, but that channel for Great Ormond Street? Yeah, like a million comedians. Yes, I was, I was booked in to do that. I was like, I can't do it. Yeah, it was like everything out of the diary because I was in such a. Yeah, it wasn't like, I just. It wasn't a hard, abrupt stop. It was more like I sort of petered out. So I came to the States. I went to the States. Should I say I went to States. And I still did some. I was still doing gigs, but I had this feeling like I was coming. I was running out of road as far as that was concerned. Because you know what? It was, but it was. I realized that I want. There was more to me than I was being a. I would, I don't want to say allowed to do, but there was more to me than I could share through just being a stand up, you know, I mean, like creatively there was more that I had to offer. So I just felt like that that's the end of that journey for now. It's not like I'll never go back. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. But it felt like at that point there wasn't any more that I could do. I mean, I was talking to, you know, Luke Tilson, he said, well, you basically clocked the game and then you got out and it's kind of it. So it did feel a bit. It's like, what, what more can I. Because no one, you know, at that time, and even still it was very difficult for somebody like me, a woman, black woman, to get their own vehicle. So you ended up in loads of other people's vehicles. But there's only so many of those that you can do before. You're just. It can be quite unsatisfying, you know, I mean, like constant. The whole panel show carousel can get quite, quite so frustrating if you feel like there's more that I could give than is being allowed to sort of express.
B
Can I give you a theory that I have about.
C
Yeah, please.
B
Well, I wonder if particularly because you were sort of picked young, as it were, as in fairly new, and it was like, she's good, we should, we should put her on tv that often, TV comics, what happens in sort of mainstream TV comedy, I think is that Personas, comedy Personas become two dimensional because it's much easier to do in five minutes and three minutes in a one night. It's like, he's the grumpy one. Like Jack D, he's the grumpy one. There's Michael McIntyre, he's the posh one. Like, it's just, you reduce that person to a sort of one attitude that is funny and great, but on TV they become often reduced to a kind of bite sized Mr. Man character. You know what I mean?
C
That's great.
B
And if you were early on funneled into this, you were a person and then you were like, no, you're a TV comic. Can we reduce you to. You're this and this and that's it. And maybe that's why you felt, this isn't me. I want to express all this stuff and I do believe stand up is an art form where you can express anything but not in broad mainstream tv. It's almost impossible. It's so rare to. I can't really think of an example where you go, that was a really complicated. You know what I mean? Like a really fascinating character. We just met. It's more like that was the angry one, that was the silly one. That was. You know what I mean?
C
That's really, really wise. Yeah, I can really see that as well. And I used to have these sort of fantasies, Daniel Kitson type fantasies that one day maybe I could just write a show about what I'm thinking and feeling and not be censored or feel any. And then I go, no, you got. You know me, because I'd almost gaslit myself into thinking, oh, I have to do all these things. I have to do the panel shows. I have to do all these silly kind of panel show pilots that were really sometimes quite. Not humiliating, but like, not gratifying really in any way, because I told myself, I had this belief that that was what I was supposed to be doing, you know what I mean? But actually taking myself away made me realize, oh, I can. I can do whatever I want. There might be a cost, as in, you know, financially or intensive, I don't know, career progression or status or whatever, but sometimes for your mental health, that cost is always, for your mental health, that cost is worth paying.
B
Amazing, Andy. So can you tell me a bit about the positive second half of that story of, like, going on your spiritual quest? Like, at what point were you like, oh, I'm starting to feel like this is. Yeah, like how you. Yeah, go on.
C
So I guess those years in L. A and I was sort of coming back to the UK and I got myself a little kind of career coach who was talking me through my experiences because it was very. It looks like I went off, you know, and then came back and got all these, like, cool, fun roles and things. But actually there was a lot of soul searching, a lot of, like. I remember having, like, Skypes with my mom of, like, and saying to her, I know I meant to be here, but I don't know why, but more tears than that, you know, she desperate for me to come home because it's just like, well, if you don't know. If you don't know why you're there or whatever, if you haven't and you're crying, maybe that's not where you should be. But I just knew that I should be. And actually, looking back, what I realized the time was about was about shedding things that shackles, basically, that were holding me back creatively, finding my confidence to call myself an artist. I would have been embarrassed to say that at the time that I left, you know what I mean? And, like, explore the things that were creatively interesting to me rather than what I felt like I should be doing, because that was the opportunity that had been placed immediately in front of me. And, yeah, just releasing myself from any burden to be something that I thought other people thought I should be. So coming home, as it were, in a sort of literal sense, but figuratively as well. It wasn't like I was flush with work when I was in the States. And in fact, I did work in the UK to kind of bankroll the experience. But at the end of it, I realized that what I gained is a real deep confidence and belief in myself and my ability to do the things that I knew would light me up rather than doing things that I felt like I should. And that was a bigger gift than if I had worked loads, actually.
B
You're a fucking hero. Do you have a sort of practice? I mean, I guess what I'm asking is, like, do you have, like, a routine? Because you seem, you know, you seem wonderful. As in, you seem very happy and positive, and you seem in a very good place. Is it constant work to be in that place? As in, do you do things like, I meditate every morning. I work out. Like, what, do you have a thing? Or are you just. Generally, I feel much better.
C
I think to say I have a practice would be generous to myself. It's more like. But, you know, someone said something to me once about, you know, just beginning again because people, like, if they want to say they want to start working out, they'll go. And then it might peter out, and they'll think, oh, I failed. I failed at going to the gym because I'm no longer going. You just begin again. And that is what it is. It's not. It's not necessarily a constant. So my practices are all beginning again. I start meditation and I go, this is it, this time. This is the one. This is where you catch me doing it every morning. And then after a month, I'm out. And then I start again, and I forgive myself for that falling. And then I kind of think of other things as meditation. Like, I journal and that. Yeah. So as a writer, I realized that actually maybe sitting still with my own noisy brain isn't the best way for me to meditate. And I've realized that maybe writing, but doing it in a conscious way, maybe that can be my meditation. And. And as Long as you're bringing consciousness to it, then it can be a form of like quietening the brain and, or listening to the, observing the movement of the mind. And that's really what meditation is. It's not about sitting in silence or your brain going quiet. That's impossible because of just biomechanics or whatever, but like, or neuro mechanics, but like just observing it, that can give you just that sliver of distance that you can be with your thoughts rather than be them. So that's. Yeah, so that's the practice well being, you know, like I don't drink as much as I used to have. I like a glass of wine every now and again, but not cana. Basically like I have been eating well, you know all the cliches, but accumulatively they make such a difference. I feel like I'm observing for my mental health. It just makes a huge difference. And I've seen the cost of not looking after myself in those respects. So that's really all it is. It's a personal thing of like, does this cost me to not look after myself in these areas? If you can get away with it, then please have at it. Live your life on my behalf, you know what I mean? But like for the most part, because of the way humans are built, we can't really. Not for a long period of time.
D
Oh, hello, it's your neighbour Maureen here. You know, for something we all use constantly, the Internet can be surprisingly chaotic. One minute you're booking a hot holiday, the next you've clicked something dodgy and suddenly you feel like you ought to apologize to your laptop. That's why I use NordVPN. It encrypts your Internet traffic, which means all your browsing, streaming and general poking about stays private. Just a lovely bit of peace and quiet for your digital life. I also love this part. When you're traveling, NORDVPN lets you connect to a server back home, so you can still access your favourite streaming services wherever you are, which frankly feels essential. I'm all for adventure, but not at the expense of losing my programs. To get the best discount off your NordVPN plan, go to nordvpn.com Brett. Our link will also give you four extra months on the two year plan. There's no risk with Nord's 30 day money back guarantee. The link is in the podcast episode description box.
C
Thank you, girl.
A
Winter is so last season and now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs you're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders that perfect hang on the patio sundress those sandals you can wear all day and all night and you've had enough of shopping from your couch Done. Hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear open that envelope it's time for a little in person spring treat it's time for a trip to Ross.
B
Work your magic handy or Shane, I have forgotten to tell you something and it's so annoying because.
C
Oh God. As long as it's not something silly like I've died or something like that, that'd be. Well.
B
Ah f. Shit. Well it actually.
C
Oh don't. Oh don't. Oh my God. I eat.
B
Such a shame you come so fast. I know. And you meditate, you journal and you work out but you've died.
C
Oh God. I thought if I made noises over you saying it it wouldn't be real. But it is real.
B
Dead, dead.
C
Hate it.
B
How did you die?
C
Well, I don't think it'll be a health related thing and here's why I think it'll be. I'm clumsy in a way where the thing escalates really quickly. Like I could be at one end of the bathroom and drop something and somehow it ends up in the toilet. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like I don't have a lot of accidents but they're always like kind of low key spectacular like that. Like literally just before we started recording, I tipped over a glass, whole glass of water and it started spilling over the edge of the table into a socket. Of course there's an electrical socket immediately underneath the table so it'll probably be some domestic related accident like an electrocution or falling off a roof or out of a window, something like that. So yeah.
B
Would you like to pick one, Mr. Bean? Do you die like Mr. Bean?
C
Yes, I'll die silently from electrocution.
B
Okay. Do you worry about death?
C
Yeah, now I do. I just turned 50. Like what is it now? Three, two months ago.
B
Get the fuck out of it.
C
Yes, mate, it's happened.
B
Shut your face.
C
I know we're all heading there.
B
Shut your 50 year old face.
C
50 and two months. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Get the fuck out of it.
C
Tell you what though, it's enough make you think about life in a different way. I don't know if all 50 year olds will concur, but I had this real sense of like, oh, this is. I mean literally this is not a drill. This is it now. And it's all from here on it's about dying well. Doing the things that you really want to do, not getting caught up with the things you don't want to do. Losing the people that are no good in your life. Surrounding yourself with good folks, eating well, you know. Do you know what I mean? It's about dying well.
B
Oh my God, that hit me in the guts. Oh my God, you got me in the guts.
C
Well, you wait till you turn 50, it's going to be a sucker punch in the face. Face.
B
Oh, God.
C
No, it's good. I'm enjoying it.
B
Well, I mean, I don't want to be that person, but you look in your 20s.
C
Oh, bless you.
B
So whatever you're doing is great.
C
Not electrocuting myself.
B
Yeah, hold off on that for a bit, I reckon. I reckon you got a few more in you. What do you think happens when you die?
C
I saw this meme that I rather like that said something like, maybe the white light at the end of the tunnel is you coming out of someone's vagina.
B
Wow. Yeah, I love it. Straight back round, straight back round.
C
Maybe that's what it is.
B
I think that is what it is. But I do think you get a little gap in the middle.
C
Well, the gap because it's outside of time. Cause obviously time is a man made construct. The gap can be infinite. The gap can be. You could go somewhere else or whatever, but you're in infinite. No time, no space. And then there you are, pop out again. Oh, I've been born.
B
Someone I spoke to the other day said that you come back three times. And I was like, I don't think that's right. I think you come back a billion times or it's once.
C
Yeah.
B
When you're three, three seems like. Yeah, well, I guess. Rule of three, rule of three, maybe three.
C
It feels like if we're talking about the oneness of all things, then it's gotta be none or one. Really. Three feels like that belongs more in mythology rather than like.
B
Yeah, three. Seems like you haven't really experienced all the things in three.
C
Oh, you just keep looping around and. And maybe you can take a little break and you know, I just want to be part of the oneness for a bit. And then. All right, I've had. That's enough. And then you go back in again.
B
Cool. I'll tell you what, that's enough oneness for a bit.
C
Can you send me back exactly? Oh, you know, you're one down.
B
All this oneness. Jesus, give me some space, guys.
C
I want to be two.
B
I'm an intro. Well, There is a gap, and it's called Heaven. You're in it. You're welcome. People are very excited to hear you.
C
Yeah.
B
See you and watch you. It's filled with your favorite thing. What's your favorite thing?
C
Probably pasta. Oh, and my puppy, of course.
B
Okay. It is filled with your puppy as if your puppy were made of pasta. So it's like a spaghetti puppy. Pretty cute. Yeah, pretty cute, actually. Just the right temperature and solidity. Little pasta puppy. Yeah, Running around everywhere. Everyone's excited to see you. They want to talk about your life through film.
C
Oh.
B
First thing they ask is odd. First thing they ask is, what is the first film you remember seeing? Andy Osho.
C
I think it was some kind of Disney situation. And my. My feeling is it was probably the rescuers.
B
Ooh.
C
Yeah.
B
Lovely. Doesn't get talked about enough in the Disney chat. You know what I mean? You go on your Disney WhatsApp thread, which obviously. I mean, all of them.
C
Yeah.
B
Rescues don't come up a lot.
C
I mean.
B
Tell me more.
C
I don't remember very much about it because, you know, I must have been really young. I don't even know when it came out, but I was thinking about, you know, when my mum used to take us to the pictures and that, because I wonder if it was just a little bit of a respite. She was a single mum, three kids. It's kind of like just. Just quiet for two hours. And in those days, you know, there was the little short or whatever featurette that they'd have at the beginning. There'd be an intermission, ice cre, and all the rest of it, and then the main event, so we could be there for half a day sort of thing. But.
B
Wow.
C
Yeah. I don't remember the film, but I remember being absolutely captivated by film. And, I mean, later on, I remember seeing Annie and crying all the way home and being so confused that what had happened up there had affected my heart so much. And so I was trying to hide it. I remember, like, being in the car and my brothers are on it, and I was like. Like crying out of the side of it because I. Because I was so embarrassed because I was like, how could I have been affected by. By that? Yeah, it was like a really, like, bewildering moment of. Just like, it's too. Why is this having this effect on me?
B
Wow. So there's three of you.
C
Yeah. So I've got two older brothers.
B
Yeah, you're the youngest. Where was this?
C
This would have been. This would have been. I think it's called the Gemini or something like that or Genesis in Beau. It didn't used to. It was called something else. But there's a. Yeah. You know, like between Stepney and like near Stepney and my length. Exactly.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that. Now tell me this, what's the film that made you cry the most, other than Annie? Annie is a stone colored classic.
C
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
B
Is there another? And did you get better at crying or are you still horrified and embarrassed by it?
C
Funny enough, the one that I would actually say is the film that's made me cry the most. I cried in the same way of almost like overwhelmed by. Overwhelmed by my cry. And it was. It was Moonlight.
B
Oh, man. And what a fucking film.
C
Right? And so I went like, I got an invite to a screening. So I didn't really know what it was. I wasn't aware of Barry Jenkins's work. And so I went and was, I mean, you know, blown away doesn't even cover it. But then there was a Q and A after and everybody was there. Mahesha Ali and I think. I think Noma Harris was there, obviously Barry Jenkins. And I was. I remember just looking up to try to see if I could balance the tears in my eyes because otherwise I was gone. And I wanted to ask a question, but it would have been like, have you got tissue? So I couldn't. Yeah, I mean that was. Yeah, it was almost out of body experience how moved I was by that, by that film. Because for me, and I've listened to his films to be buried with
B
top three.
C
Oh my God, such a great episode. And for me, moonlight was about finding your home. And it wasn't about a place, it was about a person. And so eventually that character finds his home in the person that has been. Been his home this whole time. But like he just didn't give himself permission to feel it, to go there or, you know, whatever. So, yeah, I was just. I don't know why that resonates so strongly for me, but it was just like, I'm done.
B
Oh, don't you.
C
Oh. Oh, okay. Dr. Garcia.
B
Okay. No, I can't see why that would resonate with you. Having heard your story. What a strange coincidence. Yeah.
C
Okay. All right.
B
Very good film.
C
It was just objectively quite enjoyable.
B
It's a good film. What about being scared? What's the film that scared you the most?
C
Well, you kind of mentioned it already. I mean, apart from the obvious, I'm very susceptible. Absolutely terrified. Those mises. Oh, man. Yeah, you mentioned it already. Well, I Was going to say, I am susceptible. So pretty much every horror film, even if it's not meant to be a horror, I'm terrified. But one day my agent messages me and says, oh, you know, this director wants to. Wants you to come and read for his film. Here's a short that the film is based on and he just sends me a YouTube link. So. And it's daytime, I'm at home and I think nothing of it. Okay. Yeah, good research. Have a look at the film before I go in. So I hit play and it's the short of Lights Out. And have you seen it?
B
Yeah. Oh, I haven't seen the short.
C
The show. The short is so simple. It's basically this woman going to bed and she turns off the light in the hall. And then at the end, she just sees this figure. She turns the light back on. What the fuck was that? It's gone. She turns the light off again. The figure has moved closer. I was. Even now I could. Just. Because I'm so susceptible and that is something that I do fear is like someone. Something at the window or breaking in or something like that. I was done. And to me, like, proportionately, that's the film that scared me the most, because for something that's three minutes long and I couldn't even. I had to push the computer away to be able to watch it. As soon as I got what the device, what the conceit was, I was just like, nah, nah. So that. Yeah, in terms of proportion of, you know, length of movie to how scared
B
I was, time for Fear.
C
Hands down, it's Lights Out.
B
Well, great film.
C
It was great.
B
How was your meeting that when you went here, were you like, fuck you?
C
I mean, yeah, it was good. He's. Yeah. David is very sort of chilled out. He's. Yeah. But, yeah, it was. Well, I got the job, so it must have gone all right.
B
You did Very. That's where I was like, hang on. What? When I went to cinema, I was so excited to see you.
C
Oh, hi.
D
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card within the first six months of card membership terms. Apply. Learn more at Go Amex Graphite. Anyway, what is the film that you love? However, it's not critically acclaimed. Most people don't like it, but you love it. And everyone's an idiot.
C
You know what? I think this is a really tricky question because I've got exceptional taste, and for me it usually goes the other way. Is that like, there's films that everybody loves and I'm just like, I don't get it. I just get it. Like Wolf of Wall Street. You know what I've noticed as well? I think it's films where I'm gonna say it's like toxic masculinity basically going unchecked. Because I think it's possible to make a moral film about an immoral person. But if you make an amoral film about an immoral person, it's just like, how is that a contribution? And it's, you know, it's not my place to critique Scorsese, but like, I feel sometimes that certain films, like the Joker maybe, and where male characters have made choices and they go unchecked because you can have people, you can have characters do all those dreadful things, I believe. But the film standpoint, I resonate more if the film standpoint is. But that's wrong, obviously, right? Whereas in movies where that doesn't happen, I'm like, so what are you saying? And so there's certain films that have been very popular, that have been that. That sort of amoral film about an immoral character. And I've been like, guys, no, I'm sorry, I'm not into this one.
B
Do you know what? I'm with you. I think I'm almost completely with you, except for I went to see Wolf of Wall street and I felt the same way you did. I was like, I don't like this film. This seems like a sort of. Sort of bad intention film or something like that. And then maybe a year or two later it was on TV and I just sort of started it. I sort of flicked onto it and I thought, this film is fucking brilliant. And I've totally misjudged it. It's so funny. And actually, I think it is all the things. It's just quite clever because it kind of goes presented without comment. But they're definitely the bad guys. They're definitely, definitely the bad guys. And actually the Kyle Chandler who is the good guy.
C
Yeah, yeah.
B
It's just. It's actually quite subtly done in, like, the final moment with him having achieved what he set out to achieve, and yet he's just on a subway on his own wearing shit clothes in a shit place because the system is rigged against the good people. You know what I mean? I was actually like, this film is. I think it's a brilliant film, but I really hated it the first time I was really like, this seems like a morally objectionable. And then the second time I was like, oh, no, it's very clever.
C
That's really interesting because I feel like I sometimes don't want to believe that revisiting a film will have you see anything different. And it's just totally not true, is it? Like, you can go back to things and just go, oh, well, how did I miss that? So I'd very much, like, be open to revisiting it, but that was my experience at the time of watching.
B
It was just like, I'm with you. It was also much funnier than I'd once I was on board with it. I was like, this is a very, very funny film. But it's. Yeah, it is the thing of. I think he's kind of, in a way, he's going, I trust you, the audience. I'm not going to spell this out. Like, you tell me you love this guy. You want to be like this guy. Okay, yeah, there you go. Here's all this stuff.
C
Yeah, here's it. Here it is. Warts and. All right, okay, all right, I'll revisit. Because also off the back of your podcast, I Did, actually, because Barry Jenkins answers, this was Last Action Hero. So I went and. Because I really liked that at the time that it came out. And, yeah, I was sort of. Yeah, I was surprised that it didn't get any love. But, yeah, I thought it was all right. I was all right to leave it in, like, 1995 or whenever it came out. I was like, okay, that belongs back there.
B
Okay, what about the film that you used to love, but you've watched recently and you've thought, I don't like this anymore. Maybe you've changed.
C
Oh. Do you know, this is going to be a controversial one, except for, I guess, fans of the Big Bang Theory. But, like, I loved Raiders of the Lost Ark.
B
Yeah.
C
But then. And I. And I, you know, I sometimes have a little Sunday afternoon, like, you know, go and revisit a classic. And I watched it, and I was not into it at all.
B
Oh, God, I can't hear this.
C
I know.
B
I can't hear it.
C
I'm so sorry. I don't even. I can't even believe I'm saying it.
B
What? Why? I don't even want to know why.
C
No, don't put it in my head. I don't even think I can bear to say the words how I was feeling. I just. But don't they say on the Big Bang Theory that, like, there's, like, he doesn't advance the plot at all? Isn't there some, like, an episode where this is this really controversial theory that one of them has that, like, Harrison Ford's character doesn't actually advance the plot at all? But that wasn't.
B
Yeah, he makes no difference to the. In the end. Yeah, but that's quite fun.
C
Yeah. I just didn't. I just. I'm gonna just say I didn't enjoy it. That's what it is.
B
Well, that's all we've got time for. Thank you, Andy.
C
And it was going so well.
B
It was going so well.
C
I know. I know.
B
What is the film that means the most to you? Not because the film is good, necessarily, but the experience you had seeing it will always make it meaningful to you and your show.
C
Gosh, I could cry even just thinking of the moment. But it was. It was. It was probably. Yeah, it was Black Panther. Gosh. Yeah. Because, you know. You know, there was a lot of conversation around when that movie came out about, you know, representation and how much that matters. Also the fact that it's set on the continent of Africa, but also that it, you know, it includes the diaspora in the storytelling, you know, Like Killmonger's story is so. Yeah. So vital. So there was this one moment where it's quite early on in the film where Danai Gurira's character comes home and she says, we're home. And then just Wakanda just opens up and it's just. I just. Oh, it was just so. That went into my soul, just that image. And just watching a movie where there's scenes where everybody's black, you know what I mean? In a blockbuster movie, like, I think when you've been used to seeing yourself represented the impact of Black Panther, I think probably is, it might be difficult to comprehend, like, how significant that was to see finally you or people that look like you represented in. In that way as all powerful and brilliant and smart and sexy and strong. Do you know what I mean? And having governance over their path and making decisions for themselves without any interference or all that sort of stuff. So, yeah, that was very big. That was a very sort of powerful moment. And then that same day, so I was filming on something and we were on night shoots. So I went to. I got up about midday and I was like, oh, what can I do? In my day? We're going to be filming probably from about six. So I was like, I went to see Black Panther and then we had a call from production saying, oh, you know, tonight might be snowed off sort of thing. It might not happen, might not be filming. So we all got. All the cast got together and we're like, should we go and watch a film? Yeah, great. What do you want to watch? They went Shape of Water. I was like, girl, bye. I just went to watch Black Panther again. Just.
B
I mean, you went twice in one day?
C
Twice in one day. And I was just as happy and sort of immersed and just transported the second time as much as I was the first time.
B
That's wonderful.
C
It was just brilliant.
B
That's. It's a fucking great film. And I. Yeah, everything. Yeah. The fact that it's also a huge fucking box office success is like, answers every question.
C
Exactly.
B
You may have. You know what I mean?
A
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B
What is the film you most relate to Andy Osho.
C
See, now we're not talking about as in a character, because I don't feel like there's any specific character. Well, probably for me it's the Matrix. Because I like the way you're thinking Neo. This isn't all there is, is there?
B
You are Neo.
C
Well, not quite. I mean, I like to think that I would be Niobe, but I think I'm probably Cypher, you know, the one that wants to get put back into the Matrix. You know, make me something important, like an actor.
B
No, you're on Live at the Apollo thinking, is this it?
C
It? Yeah.
B
There must be. I love it.
C
Exactly. Follow the white rabbit. Yeah.
B
Oh, mate.
C
I'm one of the few people that really love all three films. I mean, two, not so much, but, like, I love them all. Four we don't talk about, but I love them all.
B
Four is fascinating. Four I watched recently and was like, what. What a wow.
C
In what way? What were your.
B
What were you just in, like, in terms of. It's so crazy, right? Like as in it's such a crazy starting point. And all the meta. It's all very meta. All the Warner Brothers talk within it. No. Well done. It's great. Good luck to them all.
C
Well done. Good work.
B
It's interesting. I did think, well, it's something.
C
You made some choices.
B
Yeah. It's definitely not what I was expecting. No, something's going on.
C
It's.
B
What about sexiest. What's the sexiest film you've ever seen? Andy o'. Shea.
C
So I took this to be not as in sex, but sexy. So out of sight.
B
Ah, fucking correct answer. 100% correct answer.
C
Yeah. I think that is, like. That's the goal if actors are looking for on screen chemistry head there.
B
And if you even get in a boot with Clooney.
C
Yes. There's just. I mean, obviously the filmmaking, you know, because the mood of that movie is just obviously lends itself to making it sexy. But those two actors in that situation. Perfect.
B
Those two. The lighting and the soundtrack.
C
Agreed.
B
Yeah. It's really hot. What a hot film.
C
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Andy Osho. There's a. It's a subcategory. Now we're at the intellectual section of the show. Troubling bonus. Worrying wide ons a film you found arousing that you weren't sure that you should.
C
Yeah, I mean, I wanna. I wanna help out with this one. I wanna be a useful contributor, but there's nothing. I think that I have a response to the things that Are meant. You know what I mean? Like, there's nothing.
B
Right.
C
You.
B
But no.
C
Yeah, I don't watch the rescuers and feel anything is basically what I'm saying.
B
Yeah, you're saying. Never had a worrying Wydon. All the Wydons were pure.
C
Yeah, they were. The source material was appropriate to the response. That's what I'm saying.
B
That's what you're sticking with? Okay. Okay. So rescue his dad under nothing. Nothing.
C
No, nothing. Nothing. I couldn't even think because, you know, I mean, guys have got Jessica Rabbit, and I kind of get that. Do you know what I mean? But, like, there isn't. There isn't an equivalent for women or for, you know, for a straight woman. There's not a. There's not a he, man. Hercules. No.
B
Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
C
No.
B
Unbelievable. What is Objectively. Yes, Objectively. Objectively, of course, the greatest film of all time. So might not be your favorite.
C
No, it's not. And I've only watched it the once, but I'm going to say the Godfather 2.
B
Okay.
C
Yeah.
B
Why. Why are you throwing that out?
C
Well, I just remember finishing that film. It's just like, wow, that had subtitles, and I really enjoyed it. That must be good. I mean, I watched. I went through this De Niro phase, and so obviously, that was essential viewing. But, yeah, I couldn't. I couldn't get on with the old, you know, cotton wool in the mouth and the Godfather thingy. That really took me out of it. But Godfather 2 was kind of. It just had every element of storytelling, but also performance in there that you. That you would want. And I felt like. But weirdly, I didn't want to watch it again. And that's often the way, isn't it, with the really great films? Is like Citizen Kane we watched at college and have never felt inclined to revisit it.
B
Yeah, that's interesting.
C
Casablanca. Saw it again. We watched it at college. It's like, that was great. But I will watch, you know, Shawshank Redemption 10 times before I will ever watch that again.
B
I think it's usually, like, long, depressing ones, I think. Yeah, we did that.
C
Yeah, we made it at some point. There were two sets of footprints in the sand. But
B
what is the film that you could or have watched the most over and over again?
C
Oh, that's easy. That's Aliens.
B
Ah, nice answer. That hasn't come up in a very long time.
C
Oh, wow.
B
Yeah, you're right. At school, everyone was watching Aliens all the time.
C
Well, I didn't again, it's kind of horror, essentially, so I couldn't have. But when I was doing my. I did an HND in like program TV and film and stuff, and the lecturer had us watch Aliens or maybe Alien. Anyway, I was hooked. So I don't know why. This is the perfect storm for me. This is everything I want. Marines. There's jokes, there's guns, aliens. It was brilliant. I just. And I kind of almost prefer aliens to alien. Yeah. I'm, you know, a James Cameron fan, I guess. And so, yeah, I've watched that so many times. I mean, literally, like, it would be a ritual. I'd go out on a Saturday night with my mates and then we go around his house and then we, on the Sunday would probably watch either Terminator 2, most likely aliens, and be mumbling incorrectly, usually their lines along with them. I just love it.
B
That's great. That's great. Do you like your way of water? Are you happy with your way of water, James Cameron fan? Yeah,
C
I thought it was all right. Actually, I didn't mind it at all. I mean, I don't think Avatar's not quite.
B
For me, I didn't mind it at all.
C
Many stars.
B
Some stars.
C
It's not my favorite of his stuff. I. I really like Titanic. I think that's great. I like Aliens and T2 Terminator a bit. But Terminator feels very much like Alien in the sense of it's quite spare. Whereas, you know, obviously Terminator 2 is all gunsy. Much more gunsy. Is that a word?
B
It is there, yeah. It's very gunsy. Actually, my weekend
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we don't like to be negative, Andy.
C
After all this spiritual.
B
After all the spiritual work we've done. I know, but here we are. What's the worst film you ever saw?
C
I mean, there is every possibility because I only watched it the ones. There is every possibility that it's not as bad as I thought it was at the time. But there's a film called the Other Sister where it's. It's. I think it's sort of like maybe early 90s or late 80s, and it's oh, what's the actor's name? Giovanni Ribisi and Juliet. Yeah. And Juliet Lewis. And they're playing two people who fall in love, but they have learning difficulties and. Okay, so there's the issue for me.
B
Yes. And it's directed by Gary Marshall.
C
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
B
They both have learning difficulties in it.
C
Yeah.
B
Right.
C
And actually I watched the trailer recently to. Just because I was like, was it as offensive as I. Yeah. And the joke wasn't on them. They weren't like, hahaha, look at learning people with learning disabilities. But still, to see two actors perform that it was. Was tricky. Like it wouldn't be done now.
B
Yes.
C
But you have to sort of, I guess give a little bit of latitude for what happened then. Not to say that it's okay, but like, it was a different time.
B
Yes. What's the film? Hang on. You used to be in comedy. You were a brilliant comedian, one of the greats. You remain as funny as ever. What's the film that made you laugh the most? Might not be the funniest, but made you laugh the most?
C
Made me laugh the most. I think it's probably apparently. Well, not apparently. I get that it's problematic for some folks now. Trading Places.
B
Ha.
C
Yeah.
B
Ha.
C
Yeah.
B
Why so ha.
C
Why funny or why problematic?
B
Yeah. Why is that? I know why it's problematic.
C
Oh, man. I just. All the performances is definitely. That's. That's it. That's what it is, is what it is. Eddie Murphy at the top of his game. But also that pairing with Dan Aykroyd is. Is perfect because him playing that sort of uptight, privileged. He has an existential crisis. Essentially a sort of a Buzz Lightyear realization, oh, that's who I am sort of thing. But yeah, the combination of them and the sort of skewering of that world is really, really well done. And you can feel. Well, I hope that it's. I hope that it was as fun to film as it seems to have been. And like, you know what I mean? Like that it was alive. It was crackling with like, you feel like, you know, the actors had latitude to sort of riff and find stuff. But again, it's one of those films. And I sort of wish we had more films like that, but we don't seem to. But like films that are really quotable. Do you know what I mean? Like, we used to quote, like, trading plate. Like, yeah, we just go, yeah. And yeah, we. We don't really have films like that anymore. So that's another thing that's like a Real sort of gem about it is that like, ah, just these. These moments that. That are just like cultural currency.
B
Yeah, yeah. That's because everything's so spread out now. Or because we don't. Haven't had a big, big, broad mainstream comedy in the cinemas.
C
I think that because culturally we've moved and moved on and things are a bit more subtle now and because of the way that lines get delivered, just not to be simplistic about it, but like, it doesn't lend itself to being quotable. I feel like the Matrix is probably the last sort of great quotable film which would have been. What is that 99 that came out? So.
B
Fuck yeah.
C
Yeah, we're just. It's a different era, a bit of subtlety and. And more nuanced. So it doesn't sort of lend itself to eat that or whatever or, you know, all the things that people. The things that people say in films, basically.
B
Interesting. Andy Osho.
C
Yes, mate.
B
You've been beyond a delight. However, when you were getting ready to go out silently as Mr. Bean as you could be, you tripped over. You spilt over a glass of water onto your desk. It rolled off the desk in a sort of cascade waterfall. You went to catch it. As you went to catch it, you reached under near the plug socket where the water landed. As you caught the glass, you went, I've caught it. And then your finger caught the end of the electric socket and you were electrocuted. You were electrocuted, but that wasn't enough for you, so you pulled your hand away and you were like, oh, God, I'm alive. And then you fell backwards down the stairs.
C
Oh, my God, that sounds like me.
B
Then you got support on the stairs and you weren't dead yet, but you were very injured and you managed to crawl out the door into the road and your dog ran past and you called your dog's name, but your dog thought it was a different name and ran straight past. And then you were hit by a bus.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Anyway, it's a shame I was walking around with a coffin. You know what I'm like. I see this bus go past with you on the front of me and I go, who's that? That's Andy Osho. So I sort of run to the next stop and I go, sorry, as a bus driver, you've got Andy Osho on the front of your bus. And I peel you off, it's a stank, you're all burned and mashed up and I haven't got the dimensions of it right. So I say to bus driver, have you got one of them, like fire axes? And he goes, yeah, yeah. They're sort of chopping you up, chopping up your phone. People on the bus are screaming. I go, it's all right, I know her. And put all of you in the coffin. But there's more than I was expecting. And this coffin is absolutely rammed.
C
That's holiday weight.
B
There's not enough room. It's not you, it's the stuff you've accumulated on your fall down the stairs, in the streets, in the bus. You've got bits of metal. Anyway, there's only enough room in this coffin for me to slide one DVD into the side for you to take across to the other side. Every night is movie night. What film are you taking to show pasta puppies when it is your movie night?
C
Puppy night?
B
Ms. Andy Osha, the Truman Show. Incredible.
C
Yeah, man. Because as well.
B
Yes.
C
We can all laugh about how we know that this is all just a construct, but we're watching this movie about how it's all a construct on the other side of the construct. Yeah, that's what we do.
B
You are Neo.
C
There you go.
B
Andy Osho, is there anything you'd like to tell people to listen to? Look out for. Read.
C
Read. Oh, yeah. Oh, thanks. Sure. I have a new book out, so I have a new book out called Tough Crowd and it's a rom com, I guess. Yeah, rom com about a comedian who. She's a sort of aspiring open mic comedian and she meets a guy, but it turns out he has kids and that turns out to be the Tough Crowd. Yeah. So it's kind of like. It's a bit. Obviously it's drawing on my experience from being a comedian, but it's kind of a little bit of a farewell farewell for now to comedy, but also about, you know, the experience of dating somebody who's got kids. That's a whole thing.
B
Have you sold the film rights to this yet?
C
I have. Not working on it.
B
Okay, let's get that done.
C
Yeah, cool.
B
That sounds like a great book and a great film.
C
Oh, thanks, mate.
B
Andy Osho. God, I like you. Thank you very much for this. This has been wonderful.
C
Oh, thank you. It's been a pleasure.
B
Have a lovely death. Good day to you.
C
Appreciate you.
B
Appreciate you. Goodbye. So that was episode 242. Head over to the patreon@patreon.com BrettGoldstein for the extra chat secrets videos and uncut episode with Andy Osho. Thank you so much to Andy for doing this show and for being so open and go watch her shows, read her books, do everything you can. Thanks to Scrubius Pip and the Distraction Pieces Network. Thanks to Buddy Peace for producing it. Thanks to Adam Richardson for the graphics at least Alayden for the photography. Come and join me next week for a brilliant episode. So that is it for now. I hope you're all well. In the meantime, have a lovely week and please be excellent to each other. Sam,
A
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C
Edu Sci Fi.
Host: Brett Goldstein
Guest: Andi Osho (comedian, actor, novelist)
Date: May 13, 2026
Episode: #242
This episode features comedian, actor, and author Andi Osho discussing her unique life, creative journey, and, through the lens of movies, the pivotal moments that have shaped who she is. Using Brett's signature "You have died!" prompt, the interview dives deep into Andi’s personal story, her spiritual quest, her career pivots, and how films intersect with significant life events, emotions, and identity.
Early Success & Stand-Up Origins:
"I was enjoying the game of it… and then I moved that and like, it was almost like this really interactive puzzle almost." — Andi (05:57)
Hitting a Wall & Burnout:
"I've never been more… that was the worst bout of depression I've ever had…there was this big chasm opening up between who I was on stage… and who I am." — Andi (07:27)
Pulling Back for Mental Health:
“There was more to me than I could share through just being a stand up… Creatively, there was more that I had to offer.” (09:47)
Rebuilding & Returning:
“At the end of it, I realized that what I gained is a real deep confidence and belief in myself and my ability to do the things that I knew would light me up…” (15:10)
“My practices are all beginning again. I start meditation and I go, this is it, this time. This is the one. This is where you catch me doing it every morning. And then after a month, I'm out. And then I start again, and I forgive myself…” (15:48-16:17)
Turning 50:
"I just turned 50…it's enough to make you think about life in a different way...it’s all from here on it’s about dying well. Doing the things that you really want to do, not getting caught up with the things you don’t want to do..." (20:52-21:39)
Thoughts on Death & Reincarnation:
“Moonlight was about finding your home. And it wasn't about a place, it was about a person… that character finds his home in the person that has been his home this whole time but…he just didn’t give himself permission to feel it…” (27:40)
“Proportionately, that's the film that scared me the most, because for something that's three minutes long… as soon as I got what the conceit was, I was just like, nah, nah…” (29:12-30:03)
Critically Acclaimed but Didn’t “Get”:
Film Once Loved, No Longer Connects:
“That went into my soul, just that image… when you've been used to seeing yourself represented [so rarely]… the impact of Black Panther…it might be difficult to comprehend how significant that was…” (37:10-38:30)
“Probably for me, it's The Matrix. Because I like the way you're thinking, Neo: This isn't all there is, is there?” (40:19)
“That's the goal if actors are looking for on-screen chemistry — head there.” (42:01)
"Because as well, we can all laugh about how we know that this is all just a construct, but we're watching this movie about how it's all a construct on the other side of the construct." (53:43)
On the panel show carousel:
“There's only so many of those that you can do before... it can be quite unsatisfying, you know, like constant… can get quite frustrating if you feel like there's more that I could give than is being allowed to sort of express.” (10:36)
On being 50:
"It's all from here on, it's about dying well. Doing the things that you really want to do... losing the people that are no good in your life, surrounding yourself with good folks." (21:02-21:39)
On journaling as meditation:
“As a writer, I realized that actually maybe sitting still with my own noisy brain isn't the best way for me to meditate. And I've realized that maybe writing, but doing it in a conscious way, maybe that can be my meditation.” (16:12-16:26)
On representation and “Black Panther”:
“Just watching a movie where there's scenes where everybody's black, you know what I mean? Like, in a blockbuster movie.” (37:32)
Andi shares news of her romantic comedy novel "Tough Crowd" (about a stand-up and her relationship with a man with kids), linking personal experience with her creative fiction. (54:10)
Summary by Segment:
For those who haven't listened:
This is a rich, moving, and often hilarious conversation that traces Andi Osho’s journey to personal and creative fulfillment, using movies as the connective tissue between childhood, deep self-reflection, and artistic legacy. The episode weaves industry insight, philosophy, and pop culture into an engaging and memorable listen.
Want more? Get the uncut episode, video, and extra chat on Brett's Patreon.