← Films To Be Buried With with Brett Goldstein
Films To Be Buried With with Brett Goldstein
Tig Notaro (Come See Me In The Good Light / The Morning Show / Handsome Podcast) • #385
01:20:52
Join your host Brett Goldstein as he talks life, death, love and the universe with the absolute treasure of a comic, podcaster, film maker/producer and all round force for good TIG NOTARO!
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- [00:02]
Brett Goldstein
This episode is brought to you by Fandango. People say fans are too distracted these days, but the truth is, when a great movie hits the screen, you show up. You stay glued, invested, part of the story. And without fans like you, there'd be no cinema magic, no shared moments. So head to fandango.com to get tickets, stream or rent or buy top movies and series. Fandango loves fans. Protein is now at Starbucks and it's never tasted so good. You can add protein cold foam to your favorite drink or try one of our new protein lattes or matcha. Try it today at Starbucks. Look out. It's only Films to Be Buried with. Hello and welcome to Films to be Buried With. My name is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian, an actor, a writer, a director, a live wire and I love films. As Agnes Varda once said, if we opened people up, we'd find landscapes. Eraserhead's head fell off and he found Philadelphia. Every week I invite a special guest over. I tell them they've died. Then I get them to discuss their life through the films that meant the most to them. Previous guests include Barry Jenkins, Kevin Smith, Sharon Stone, and even Claire Blambles. But this week we have actor, comedian, writer, podcaster and Oscar nominated producer and filmmaker and legend Tig Notaro. You can still watch my film all of youf, which I made with Will Bridges and Imogen Poots on Apple tv. You can watch Shrinking season three. It has begun. You can see the first couple of episodes now. I think you can watch every episode every Wednesday on Apple tv. And you can catch up on the other seasons if you haven't seen them yet. You you'll love it. Head over to the patreon@patreon.com Brett Goldstein where you get an extra 20 minutes with Tig. We talk beginnings and endings. She tells me a secret. You get the whole episode uncut ad free and as a video. Check it out over@patreon.com BrettGoldstein also at the Patreon you get every other week a rewind classic. So Tignatara, Tig Natara is one of my all time favorite comedians. You might know her from her TV show One Mississippi. You might know her from the film army of the Dead. You might know her from Star Trek, Discovery, all kinds of things. But Tig is also now an Oscar nominated film producer for her film Come See Me in the Good Light, which I cannot recommend enough. I watched it before recording this podcast and that is why I am a fucking wreck. Through most of the podcast I Love, Tig. I loved getting to spend this time with her and I really hope you're going to love this one. So that is it for now. I very much hope you enjoy episode 385 of Films to be Buried With. Hello and welcome to Films to be Buried With. It is I, Brett Goldstein, and I'm joined today by a handsomer podcaster, a creator, a one Mississippia, an army of the Deader, a morning shower, Tom Cruise's twin, a Grammy and Emmy double nominee and a Oscar nominated movie producer and film director, and one of the all time best comedians I've ever seen live. I can't. And she's also sometimes animated. I can't believe she's. Can you believe she's here? She is here. Please welcome to the show, it's the brilliant Tig Notaro.
- [03:39]
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my goodness. You left out some of my nominations.
- [03:46]
Brett Goldstein
It was too. Listen, we've only got an hour or something. I didn't have time for it all.
- [03:50]
Tig Notaro
You know what the shortest list is?
- [03:52]
Brett Goldstein
Go on.
- [03:52]
Tig Notaro
The awards I've won zero.
- [03:57]
Brett Goldstein
Do you know. Do you know where I first saw. Have I ever told you this? Do you know that I first saw you in Edinburgh? You came to Edinburgh and I went to see you and you did it. I don't know what year it was. It was fucking ages ago.
- [04:10]
Tig Notaro
It was 2013.
- [04:12]
Brett Goldstein
Oh, you've only been once?
- [04:13]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [04:14]
Brett Goldstein
Okay, so it was 2013 and I went to see your show and it was the best thing I saw that month. And you did. Which I'm sure you did a lot, but you did a bit where you say that's the end and no one leaves and you keep going. Seriously, that's it. And it went on 40 minutes, 45 minutes.
- [04:33]
Tig Notaro
That sounds about right.
- [04:34]
Brett Goldstein
I wondered the longest you've ever pulled off the. This is the end. Like, I didn't want to ever leave. I don't think anyone did.
- [04:40]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I'm sure plenty wanted to leave that. Actually, I was. I was on tour years ago in some small town. I had a gig in a bar and I was bombing so deeply that I just sat on the stool, which I don't normally do on stage. I just sat down and went, well, this isn't going well at all, is it? Well, I guess you guys can head out because I don't know what to do. And as soon as I started doing that and telling them they can leave and the show is over, and it started gaining traction and then they were laughing because I was like, I just Started. What you saw was born out of that one night where I sat on the stool and I was analyzing my show and I was like, you know, I feel like it went wrong when this happened. And I feel like. And so when I analyzed it, it turned into a fun, very long show because I'd already done basically my whole show and bombed. But, yeah, I don't know how long I've done that, but I did drag that bit around for a little while where I would tell people the show is over and
- [05:55]
Brett Goldstein
it's really fun. How long have you done stand up? How old were you when you first started it?
- [05:59]
Tig Notaro
Almost 30 years.
- [06:00]
Brett Goldstein
What the heck.
- [06:02]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I know.
- [06:03]
Brett Goldstein
Tell me this, signetaro. I mean, we can talk about comedy, of course. Sure, sure. There's lots to laugh about. However, I watched your film Come See Me in the Good Light, which, congratulations, has been nominated for an Oscar, very deservedly so. And if it doesn't win, listen, I have absolutely no idea what else has been nominated, but if it doesn't win, I'm going to burn the Oscar stuff. If any of you have not seen this film, I highly, highly, highly recommend it. Could you quickly tell us how you would put what the film is and then I'm going to tell you what happened to me watching that film.
- [06:39]
Tig Notaro
I mean, it's about many different things, but very specifically, it's about my friend Andrea Gibson, who was a brilliant, brilliant poet and human being, was the Colorado poet laureate. Andrea had stage four ovarian cancer. And it's Andrea's last year of life. And, you know, a lot of people will hear that and think it's only sad or it's too hard to watch. But what I think will surprise people is there's really funny moments and there's also a lot of. Aside from sadness, you have tears of just utter joy and inspiration in a way that is like what people leave the movie oftentimes with a very, very serious sense of urgency about life. But it's about living, really. It is 100% it's about living and
- [07:40]
Brett Goldstein
it is a hard sell on paper. And so the truth is, if I am honest, it took me days to watch this film. I've been watching this film in 20 minute chunks that became three minute chunks because I kept crying so much that I kept having to. I was like, I could not have handled this in a cinema. I actually, I'm too soft for this film. Like, it really destroyed me and I was crying, so I just kept having to stop because I was like, I can't Be in the world. This emotional, you know? But in all seriousness, it's so fucking beautiful. It's so profound, because what it does, it really literally does the thing that you hear. We know the phrase, like, you know, make the most of your life. Make the most of the time we have. And that thing. I think it's a Buddhist saying of, like, the one mistake we have is thinking we have more time. And not only is that what this film is about, but she and her girlfriend are so. You're literally seeing the nothingness of life and that being the most joyful thing ever.
- [08:42]
Tig Notaro
Mm.
- [08:43]
Brett Goldstein
The fact that, like, my favorite scenes is just the two of them in bed together, just talking and talking shit and making each other laugh, and you're like, yeah, that's the best. That's the stuff. And because of this situation, all of it feels so precious and so. God, it's wonderful. It's so, so wonderful and moving. And you know what else I was thinking before I got on with you? I was like, it's like a sports movie as well. It's like a fucking sports movie because they want to do one last show, and they're not well enough, and then they get well enough to do one last show. And that last show is fucking unbelievable. It's like Rocky.
- [09:18]
Tig Notaro
And here's. Here's the good news for you. And many people that love the movie or fell in love with Andrea is I told the director, I was like, we have these cameras set up, you know, to capture this. Let's do a full concert special. And so we have Andrea's final concert that we are in the process of editing right now and gonna figure out a way to release this.
- [09:48]
Brett Goldstein
Great.
- [09:49]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. So it's really wild because cancer sneaks up. You'll see somebody who seems completely okay, and then, like, months later, they're gone. And I remember Andrea doing that show and just being like. I was. I. Like, I can't believe I'm the person that was. I'm realizing. In denial of, like, I know that I had cancer. I've been in the cancer community. I know people can go away very quickly, even when they seem all right. And I remember that night being like, andrea's gonna be one of those people that's gonna, like, for sure live another five to 10 years. Like, for sure.
- [10:32]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [10:33]
Tig Notaro
And just was not the case.
- [10:35]
Brett Goldstein
But how soon after that concert did Andrea die?
- [10:39]
Tig Notaro
14 months, almost. Well, 13 months. We filmed that end of May, and then Andrea passed away July of 2025. So, yeah.
- [10:53]
Brett Goldstein
Okay. Oh, God. This is still so recent. Can I ask how you are with the grief of it? I suppose if I'm allowed to ask
- [11:01]
Tig Notaro
that, yes, you're allowed to ask because
- [11:03]
Brett Goldstein
you're having to do all of this talking about it and making this film.
- [11:07]
Tig Notaro
I mean, it's been a very wild press tour because, you know, even before the Oscar nomination, just, this is an independently financed and produced movie. And so our director was very much like, this is not a sparkly Hollywood film. We can't expect this or that or, we're not the type that wins this. And then meanwhile, we started winning things, and I was like, wait, we weren't. So I thought we weren't gonna win. You know, like, we win Sundance, and then Apple buys it, and then we get all these nominations. But my point of bringing that up is that I've been on a press tour for a long time for this movie, and I'm. Normally, I get to be my comedian self when I go on Colbert or, you know, whatever talk show, but with this, it sneaks up, like, with certain questions that I get. I was asked to read one of Andrea's poems on Colbert, and I cried on National. I thought for sure I was okay. Like, when the producer asked me on the pre interview, she said, would you. Do you think you'd want to read one of Andrea's poems on the pre interview? I said, I started crying. I said, I'm sorry. I was not expecting that. And then when I went on Colbert, when they're on commercial break, he comes over and he says his hellos on the side of the stage before they come back. And normally he comes over and we do some silly little interaction. This time, he came up and he just held my hands, and he goes, I love you so much. And then he walked back over to his desk, and my emotions were, like, up to here.
- [12:55]
Brett Goldstein
That was me.
- [12:57]
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh. And I sat down, and when he asked me to read it, I was like, okay, I can do this. And so I'm, like, going through it, and I get to this line where I'm like, I can't remember exactly where I broke, but I was like, swing set. And then I start crying. And then the audience cheers. I'm like, no, that's not the end of the poem. But, like, that was where it ended, because it just. I was like, no, no. Oh, my God. I just botched. Andrea Gibson's poem. The soul misses every single day. The body was sick. The now it forced the here it built from the fever. The fever is how the body prays. How it burns and begs for another average day. The soul misses what the body could not let go. What else could hold on that tightly to everything? What else could hear the chain of a swing set and fall to its knees? There's so much more.
- [14:18]
Brett Goldstein
Thank you for sharing that.
- [14:20]
Tig Notaro
There's so much more here.
- [14:22]
Andrea Gibson
I just.
- [14:24]
Tig Notaro
It's tough. But you'll appreciate this because after that happened, because you saw this movie and it touched you so deeply in the film, I called Meg, Andrea's wife, and I just said, oh, my gosh, I just lost it on national television. I botched the mission. And she goes, tig, do you remember in the movie when Andrea says, I feel like when I die, my death is going to make my loved ones even more of who they are? I said, yeah. And Meg said, I always hated when Andrea said that because I didn't know what good could possibly come from losing Andrea. And Meg said, but when I watch you reading Andrea's poem on national television and crying, she was like, that was you becoming more of who you are. And I was like, wow. And I see that now.
- [15:29]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [15:30]
Tig Notaro
And that. That's like, nobody would care more if I finished the poem. You know, I wouldn't have any growth spurt from just reading Andrea's poem.
- [15:44]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [15:45]
Tig Notaro
But anyway, I just really appreciated that.
- [15:48]
Brett Goldstein
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- [17:19]
Tig Notaro
Become more of who you are, Brett.
- [17:21]
Brett Goldstein
And Megan says to Andrea,
- [17:26]
Tig Notaro
go on. I cried on.
- [17:27]
Brett Goldstein
Colbert says, are you. Are you crying because of love? And Andrea nod. Forget it, Forget it. I'm done. I'm cooked.
- [17:38]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [17:38]
Brett Goldstein
Are you crying because of love? Perfect. Beautiful. So beautiful. And so truly, truly. The thing of this is it looking at the. Looking at a tree. That's it. God, it's beautiful. Fuck.
- [17:55]
Tig Notaro
I mean, there's so much like. As they discuss in the film, so much of the beauty of Andrea was the simplicity of the moments and the words. And even when I was with Andrea in the final days of life, when I was leaving, it was when they had given Andrea a massive dose of morphine, you know, and was not, you know, going to be conscious very soon. And when I was kneeling down. Let me see if I can get this out of my mouth.
- [18:36]
Brett Goldstein
Okay.
- [18:39]
Tig Notaro
But when I was kneeling down, I didn't say goodbye to Andrea because I just didn't want there to be that feeling of, you know, final. The end. Yeah. And I was just holding their hand, and Andrea said. And this took me a long time to be able to verbalize and repeat, but it's so simple, and it destroyed me, was, I loved being your friend, Tig. And that was the last thing that Andrea said to me. And it was just like an acknowledgement that, you know, without saying goodbye, was saying it in past tense like that. And. Yeah. Very simple, but leveled.
- [19:35]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah. Okay, well, that's me done for the day. Thanks for coming on.
- [19:46]
Tig Notaro
But I have to say, I mean, your text to me about this film was. And I've. I told you and I've told many people, but of course, we want everyone to feel this and feel the hope and the love and the pain of the humor of it all. But, like, when it comes from somebody that I know personally, like, getting your text today, I was just like. I wanted to immediately see you in person. You know what I mean? Like, I just.
- [20:19]
Brett Goldstein
I love you, T. Thank you. Thank you.
- [20:23]
Tig Notaro
I love you.
- [20:24]
Brett Goldstein
Thank you.
- [20:25]
Tig Notaro
No, it just really means so, so much.
- [20:29]
Brett Goldstein
It's. It is the thing that it does. The thing that you. That you hear and, you know, but I've never. I don't think I've ever seen. Seen it so clearly as in that film, you know, what I mean, like, the life is short. Make the most of it. Make the most of each bit. Yeah, you really see it and you do think, yeah, fuck, I just want it. And look, I'm going to tell you something, but my. We have a girl I kind of grew up with who's like a very close friend of my sister's. And when we were young, we all hung out together all the time, blah, blah, blah. And she has cancer now and has had it for a while and is in the last stages of it. And her bucket, one of her bucket list things, and this happened very recently, was to have my sister and their other friend, they all went to a Hotel for 24 hours, got two double beds and just lay in the bed talking for a day. And I FaceTimed with them and fuck it, it was so perfect. And my sister afterwards was like, that was one of the best days of my life.
- [21:32]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I believe that wholeheartedly.
- [21:37]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [21:38]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [21:38]
Brett Goldstein
It's just that.
- [21:41]
Tig Notaro
I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm so glad that. I mean, that is the epitome of the little things of what Andrea talks about in the film. And, you know, I've been to Sundance Film Festival, I think, five times. And every time I've been, it's been a lot of press and parties and schmoozing with people and day to night.
- [22:06]
Brett Goldstein
So surreal.
- [22:07]
Tig Notaro
But this time that I went, we went and we rented this huge Airbnb and we all piled in. Andrea. We didn't know if Andrea was going to be well enough to make it. But sure enough, day before, Andrea and Meg are like, we're going to do it. They drove out from Colorado and we call it Snuggle Down. And we all just ate, drank coffee and tea. We snuggled down by the fire and we talked and we laughed with Andrea and Meg. And all of us just, like, couldn't believe we were at Sundance. We had no gauge of how this film was doing. All we knew was the premiere went so well and we were just happy with that. And then I went home and Andrea was having trouble going up and down stairs. Cause there were a lot of, like, tumors in the lungs. And. And I. I got back to Toronto where I was filming, and like a couple of days later, my phone is exploding and. And I'm like, oh, no. Like, oh, God. I called Stephanie, my wife, just like, dreading, what is this? And so she was like, you have to just call back, you know? And I was like, God, God, oh, my God. And I call and Meg and Andrea answer the phone. They're like, did you hear? And I'm, like, on one end of my emotional spectrum about to cry. And I was like, what? And they were like, we won Sundance. And I was like, what? Wait, what? Like, I. None of us. It was almost like Sundance was so secondary because of the little things in life, because of snuggle down.
- [23:53]
Brett Goldstein
Snuggle down.
- [23:54]
Tig Notaro
It's huge. It's so huge. And it makes me want to do a snuggle down with you sometime.
- [24:00]
Brett Goldstein
Oh, please. Snuggle down.
- [24:02]
Tig Notaro
Truly, man. And I think about that also. It's so obvious and cliche, but, like, what everyone is going through in life, and you meet on Zoom and you do your podcasts and you go do this and that, and it's like, people that you don't even really know or you don't know too well. Wouldn't it be great to have a snuggle down with them and be like, who are you? Just tell me who you are. What are you going through? Let's have a snuggle down. Whether you know them well or you're curious to know them, Have a snuggle down.
- [24:36]
Brett Goldstein
We could fucking save the world with snuggle downs.
- [24:39]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And I'm telling you, the snuggle down that it sounds like your friend and sister and everyone had, and the snuggle down that we had in Park City, man, one of the best times of my life.
- [24:52]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. I think we should maybe start a national snuggle down day. At least just start it off as a national holiday.
- [25:02]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I'm good with that.
- [25:03]
Brett Goldstein
Build it from there. Okay.
- [25:05]
Tig Notaro
Just give me credit. I did coin the phrase snuggle down.
- [25:09]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, of course. Snuggle down. Tig snuggle down.
- [25:13]
Tig Notaro
Anytime you say snuggle down, you say, of course.
- [25:16]
Brett Goldstein
It was created by Tig Notar.
- [25:18]
Tig Notaro
Yes. Yes.
- [25:19]
Brett Goldstein
I'm currently the frontman of it. But just to be clear, that's because Tig is busy. It was really Tig Snuggledown.
- [25:28]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I guess to be fair, it should be called Tig Snumble down, no matter who's in it.
- [25:32]
Brett Goldstein
National Tig Snuggle Down Day.
- [25:33]
Tig Notaro
Yes, thank you.
- [25:35]
Brett Goldstein
Thank you. I mean, usually at this point in the show, I tell you you've died. I guess I will. I forgot to tell you, you've died after all this.
- [25:47]
Tig Notaro
Okay.
- [25:48]
Brett Goldstein
How did you die?
- [25:50]
Tig Notaro
I over snuggle down
- [25:55]
Brett Goldstein
like you've just rotted in the bed. Just. You didn't.
- [25:57]
Tig Notaro
I snuggled. I snuggled down to death.
- [26:00]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah, you take snuggle down too deep. Yeah, yeah, that's a great way to go. But was it like bed sores and just sort of.
- [26:08]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, everything was sore.
- [26:10]
Brett Goldstein
You were just shitting is just not never left the bed.
- [26:13]
Tig Notaro
Right, right.
- [26:14]
Brett Goldstein
Okay.
- [26:15]
Tig Notaro
Right.
- [26:16]
Brett Goldstein
At first it sounds nice and then when you think about it, it sort of gets worse.
- [26:20]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I snuggled down so hard that yeah, the bed got sores. Not me, the bed.
- [26:30]
Brett Goldstein
Right. Jesus. How old would you like to be when this tig snuggle down death happens?
- [26:36]
Tig Notaro
I used to be very like, yeah, I'll probably go when I'm 65, 70. And I always thought like, that's fine now that I met Stephanie and actually still love and enjoy her 13 years later. And we have our two little.
- [26:53]
Brett Goldstein
Because it's pretty great.
- [26:54]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, it's like I. And I'm an older parent. Our sons are nine and a half. I just like. I want to ride this as long as I can. I want to see what my kids do, you know, I just, I'm hoping I'm going to be, well, 115, because
- [27:14]
Brett Goldstein
I think you can do that.
- [27:15]
Tig Notaro
Stephanie's dream is to die. To live to be 100. And we have a 15 year old age difference. So she said, I want to die together. And I said, well, you're going to die alone because I'm 15 years older. And if you live to a hundred. And so do you see? Yes.
- [27:32]
Brett Goldstein
Do you want to die together in the snuggle take?
- [27:34]
Tig Notaro
Snuggle, Dad, I think we're fine. Yeah, I think that would be really dreamy. But like I'm going to be in a real situation at 115. I mean, even though I am vegan, I exercise peptides and shit.
- [27:47]
Brett Goldstein
You'll be fine.
- [27:48]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah, Peptides and shit.
- [27:51]
Brett Goldstein
150. Okay, see, I think that is a pretty fucking dreamy death if you died together doing a tig snuggle down.
- [27:59]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [28:01]
Brett Goldstein
I wouldn't mind dying with a loved one because we tig snuggle down too hard.
- [28:05]
Tig Notaro
But I have to say, like you're saying in the documentary where Andrea and Meg are laughing all the time. I have that with Stephanie. So if I went out laughing in bed with her as long as I'm 115.
- [28:18]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah, I think that's totally reasonable.
- [28:20]
Tig Notaro
Thank you.
- [28:21]
Brett Goldstein
Do you, do you. Listen, I always ask this on this show, do you worry about death? I mean, you've had all of this going on. Do you worry about death yourself? Of your own death?
- [28:32]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I mean I. When you said I had all this going on, do you mean My own health issues or.
- [28:37]
Brett Goldstein
Yes, I guess I did.
- [28:38]
Tig Notaro
Or do you mean Andrea?
- [28:40]
Brett Goldstein
I kind of mean. I kind of mean both, I suppose, if that's okay to ask.
- [28:45]
Tig Notaro
Oh, yeah. I have to say I felt very paranoid for a long time after my cancer diagnosis. Among other. I've had a lot of complications and health issues. However, I am in remission and I would say I've had a pretty smooth two years. And I feel changed by the documentary also, because I think the way I viewed death before Andrea died was it was something that you're just kicking away, batting away, and then when it happens, it's just devastating and the worst nightmare of the world. And of course, that is the case in many cases. However, I have been at 4 end of life bedsides. Andrea's was the first one where it was totally on their terms. The others were in hospital beds and. And that, of course, is needed and wanted sometimes by people. But when I really saw, you know, Andrea wanted to be surrounded by loved ones, and boy were they. It was every X, the friends, family, everybody was there in bed with Andrea.
- [30:08]
Brett Goldstein
Giants, Giant take, snuggle down.
- [30:10]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, it really was. And it was one of the most beautiful, devastating experiences to witness. But it made me think, God, I. I don't want to ignore death because it's coming no matter what.
- [30:28]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [30:28]
Tig Notaro
Yep. I still have five years, but I just. I want those beautiful snuggle down moments. I want to have a plan. I want to have an open discussion about death with my kids, about my death, about others. I don't want it to be this dark, spooky, fearful thing that is just batted away at any and all costs. And of course, I'm talking about me living a full life. And. And part of this whole conversation about death is like trying to live the best life you can. So you have as few regrets that. That you. That you can potentially exit with. And listen, Andrea did not want to die. There was no part of Andrea that wanted to die. No part. And so I just want to acknowledge all of the different. I know people die unexpectedly, very young people. There's many different ways to go. And I just. As much as I have control, I want to have an open dialogue. I think hospice nurses, death doulas are some of the most extraordinary people. The hospice nurses at Andrea's, like true, true angels. True angels. Just. I'm very. I have so much respect. I believe that because these are people that their job, they go into negativity every day. Every job they do has a. Yeah. Like, it's ultimately not yeah, it's got a cloud. And, and the, and to keep that sort of loving kindness is. I'm just blown away.
- [32:20]
Brett Goldstein
Have you spoken to your. It's a very personal question. Again, if you don't. Have you spoken to your sons about death? Have you had that conversation, what it is, what it means?
- [32:29]
Tig Notaro
Well, yeah, I mean, you know, they were well aware that Andrea was dying. And unfortunately also an old. One of my childhood best friends died recently as well. Well, I appreciate it. And they also, my kids are aware of, you know, they knew my stepfather who essentially was my father, raised me since I was 2, and, and they went through that, losing him a couple years ago. And so they're, they're aware.
- [33:01]
Brett Goldstein
Okay.
- [33:01]
Tig Notaro
But I want to, once I get through all of this press and everything, I just want to take a beat to like, really talk to them on a different level about it. And also it's important for me to let them know that I don't want to die. But, man, have I had the most exquisite life. Like, yeah, there is nothing I didn't do. My whole life is just, oh, my God, I can't believe that happened. Even down to an Oscar nominee. Do you think I ever thought that was coming, Brett? No, sir. No one thought I was getting an Oscar nomination for anything. But I, I just. It's so important for me to really relay to my kids that my life, the only thing I want in my life is to see my kids life. Like, that's what I want.
- [33:55]
Brett Goldstein
Do you believe in an afterlife? What do you think happens after you die again?
- [34:02]
Tig Notaro
I've had a very interesting experience since Andrea died. I would say, like my parents, family members, different friends. I, I don't know if it was a matter of being shut off too, that I didn't feel certain things. But what happened with Andrea, I think
- [34:24]
Brett Goldstein
if you can tell us.
- [34:25]
Tig Notaro
Well, you know, did you ever see the video that went viral of Andrea reading? Uh.
- [34:34]
Brett Goldstein
Oh, no. Everything I know is from the documentary.
- [34:39]
Tig Notaro
Okay.
- [34:40]
Brett Goldstein
Is this video gonna push me over the edge?
- [34:42]
Tig Notaro
I think so. I think so. It was very surreal because I was in Andrea and Meg's house and I was leaving, as I said, after Andrea was given that final morphine. And days later, this video went viral to where Oprah and Maria Shriver and all of these people are talking about Andrea Gibson. And that was so surreal because Andrea was just here days prior. So this video is. Andrea is reading Meg face to face under a tree with their dogs running around. Andrea is reading a poem called Love Letter from the Afterlife to Meg's face as they're sitting there. And it is the most beautiful poem of. I mean, if you want to add extra minutes to this episode, you should play this. I mean, it is so beautiful. And the words of that poem, kind of similarly to Andrea saying, my loved ones will become more of who they are once I die. It's like, how do you know all this? How did you know this? Everything Andrea wrote in that poem for Meg applies to everybody. Not just about Andrea, but about their loved ones. People that don't know Andrea will be like, and are. We know now. People are now reading this poem at people's funerals. And I have chills right now. It's so beautiful. And I feel like the words of this poem have expanded my mind in conjunction with experiencing the loss of Andrea in the way that Andrea left in that bubble of love and support. I feel. I mean, we were in Colorado for the rest of the summer after Andrea died, and I had so much energy in me. And I would get up every morning and I would go on a hike at 6am I'd watch the sunrise, and I would go out on the lake with my family and kayak and. And I just. I don't know if it's Colorado. I don't know if it's the beauty. I don't know if it's having been with Andrea on their way out. I don't. I don't know what it is, but I feel more open to maybe there's something else. I don't know. I said no for sure before July 2025. And since then, I'm like, maybe.
- [37:28]
Brett Goldstein
Well, I've got news for you, Tig. Firstly, I'm gonna make sure we put that poem on at the end of this episode. But the other news is there is an afterlife. Well done. It's about time you got on board with it. There's a heaven, and you're going. At 115 years old, you're going to heaven, and it's filled with your favorite thing. What's your favorite thing?
- [37:47]
Tig Notaro
Wait, AM I at 115, going to have to walk up the stairway to heaven? Please, no. Please. Would they have one of those little chairs that pushes you up stand a stairlift thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stairlift, please.
- [38:00]
Brett Goldstein
Do you want it, like, from Gremlins? And it goes too fast?
- [38:03]
Tig Notaro
I didn't see Gremlins. That's where I was saying I'm probably the worst person to have on this show because I've seen like 10.
- [38:11]
Brett Goldstein
You're like, what's a gremlin.
- [38:12]
Tig Notaro
I've seen, like, 10 movies.
- [38:15]
Brett Goldstein
Okay. There's 12 questions. This might be a tricky. You get to heaven on your stairlift, just like in Grand's, your favorite film, and heaven's filled with your favorite thing. What's your favorite thing? Tig Notaro.
- [38:26]
Tig Notaro
It's not fair to ask somebody that has a family. You mean a physical thing? I mean, I'd want my family there.
- [38:32]
Brett Goldstein
It could be cheese. It could be cheese. It could be your family. Could be. Your family is your family.
- [38:36]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I'd want my family there.
- [38:37]
Brett Goldstein
All right, It's.
- [38:37]
Tig Notaro
I don't want my family there.
- [38:38]
Brett Goldstein
It's filled with your family. That's lovely. They're very excited to see you, even though they just saw you, but they're still excited to see you again. And they're gonna have a big old snuggle down in heaven.
- [38:47]
Tig Notaro
But also, I don't want them to have any time cut off.
- [38:51]
Brett Goldstein
Oh, well, you've made your choice, I'm afraid. But it's all right. It's heaven.
- [38:56]
Tig Notaro
Vegan cheese. Vegan cheese.
- [38:57]
Brett Goldstein
Okay. It's empty. Filled with vegan cheese. No, they're very happy. Everyone there is very happy to see you. Your family own the vegan cheese? They want to talk to you.
- [39:09]
Tig Notaro
I don't really like vegan cheese, but anyway, go ahead.
- [39:11]
Brett Goldstein
Jesus Christ. Right. Take the vegan cheese out.
- [39:17]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Put the family back in.
- [39:19]
Brett Goldstein
That's not the family back. Bring. Yeah, they can have less time. Bring the family back. Yeah, family are in. They want to talk to you about your life, but they want to talk about it through film. The first thing they ask you is, what's the first film you remember seeing? Tig Notaro.
- [39:31]
Tig Notaro
Well, first, I'm sure I saw movies before this, but the one I really remember is Greece. And especially because I was so obsessed, my grandmother probably. I think she took me maybe 12 times in the summer when I was visiting her 12 times to see Greece in the theater. Yeah. Loved it.
- [39:52]
Brett Goldstein
Did that make you the person that you are?
- [39:54]
Tig Notaro
I mean, probably added to it, right?
- [39:59]
Brett Goldstein
You've got the vibe of Greece.
- [40:00]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sandy. Yeah.
- [40:06]
Brett Goldstein
Did you love it?
- [40:07]
Tig Notaro
Love. I showed it to my sons recently, and they were like, snow's fest.
- [40:14]
Brett Goldstein
Devastating.
- [40:15]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [40:15]
Brett Goldstein
Devastating.
- [40:16]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Yeah.
- [40:17]
Brett Goldstein
Well, listen, film that made me cry the most is Come See Me in a Good Light. But what is the film that made you cry the most?
- [40:23]
Tig Notaro
It's a documentary. Go on, Dear Zachary.
- [40:28]
Brett Goldstein
Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I remember that.
- [40:30]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I had to keep pausing it to have a boohoo.
- [40:36]
Brett Goldstein
That's a tough, tough.
- [40:37]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [40:38]
Brett Goldstein
Watch. Yes, that's a tough watch in a very different way than your film is the tough one.
- [40:43]
Tig Notaro
Yes. Our film. Come See me in the Good light. Has a lot of hope.
- [40:48]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah, exactly. Is not that the other end of the scale?
- [40:53]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [40:54]
Brett Goldstein
Horrid. Okay. What about being scared? Do you like being scared?
- [40:59]
Tig Notaro
I hate it.
- [41:01]
Brett Goldstein
Do you like crying? I didn't ask you that.
- [41:03]
Tig Notaro
I don't mind it. I'm not. You know, it's not my first choice to be on Colbert crying. But I'm glad that I did it. I'm glad that it was well received, and I'm glad that Meg connected these dots of what Andrea said. But, you know, it's fine. I accept it.
- [41:23]
Brett Goldstein
Okay.
- [41:24]
Tig Notaro
But as far as being. I don't like that at all. At all.
- [41:28]
Brett Goldstein
In any. Anyway. You don't want to ever see anything scary?
- [41:31]
Tig Notaro
Nope, nope. I don't really need suspense. I don't need any of that unless it's in comedy. But, like, the typical thing of, like, Jaws wrecked me, you know, really just ruined me. Yeah.
- [41:43]
Brett Goldstein
Is that the scariest film you ever seen?
- [41:45]
Tig Notaro
Probably.
- [41:46]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah. It's scary. It's scary.
- [41:48]
Tig Notaro
Meanwhile, my kids watch that and they're like, awesome. Yeah, awesome.
- [41:56]
Brett Goldstein
I've always wanted to ask you what it was like. I think you're absolutely brilliant in it, but you are in army of the Dead, which I think is very, very entertaining film, and you were replacing someone who was no longer wanted in the film. And I believe so everything you film, you're on your own. You're, like, being placed into scenes and you're on your own. You must have been so mad.
- [42:17]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, the. The actor was removed for sexual assault or whatever, and he was erased from the movie. And then Zack Snyder calls me and is, like, pitching this to me, and I was like, I've never done an action. It's a zombie apocalypse action film.
- [42:40]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [42:40]
Tig Notaro
Gore.
- [42:41]
Brett Goldstein
It's a helicopter with missing.
- [42:42]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And I'm, like, on a green screen for, like, three weeks with Zach, and I'm, like, flying the getaway helicopter, you know, fighting zombies and with a cigar.
- [42:55]
Brett Goldstein
You've got a cigar, right?
- [42:56]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I was supposed to have a cigarette, but I used to smoke. And I told Zach that I just couldn't bring myself to put a cigarette in my mouth. I said, and what I used to quit smoking were Swisher Sweet cigars because they're so disgusting. I inhaled them to gross myself out, to never smoke again. And I said, could I use a Swisher Sweet cigar?
- [43:23]
Brett Goldstein
He said, yeah, so no one was ever there. You didn't have any other actors to work against?
- [43:28]
Tig Notaro
No, they had one actor walk me out of a building. Just a few steps.
- [43:34]
Brett Goldstein
You're very good at it. Was it fun or was that, like, not fun to do?
- [43:39]
Tig Notaro
Was so fun. I mean, and Zach is just such a great guy. I mean, he. He co wrote, he produced it, directed it. He was the dp. He's like a little kid. He's just so, like, man, let's do this. I got a great idea. And, you know, he's so. He's so present and engaged and. And I don't know if you know this little bit of information, but I went viral for being sexy in that film.
- [44:07]
Brett Goldstein
Again, I didn't know. I don't know enough about what's going viral, but I'm not surprised it hasn't shocked me.
- [44:12]
Tig Notaro
I. Out of this huge global cast of hot actors. I'm green screened in, and I'm the talk of the town. So I told Zach, I go afterwards. I said, this is insane that I'm what people are talking about. And I said, what if we. You and I, me and Zach, what if we make just an entire action film full of lesbians? And he was like, oh, my God. And so we're working on that now.
- [44:43]
Brett Goldstein
Oh, fucking great.
- [44:45]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, picture this. I sold it to him. I was like, picture the poster. Hot lesbian action. I was like, everyone's gonna go see that.
- [44:55]
Brett Goldstein
Take my money.
- [44:57]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. So Zach and I, it was. My point is, yeah, it was so much fun that he and I are still pals and we're working on another project.
- [45:06]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah, I think it's great, that film. It's so fun. What is the film that you love unconditionally. People don't like it, certainly the critics, but you don't give a fuck. You just love it.
- [45:18]
Tig Notaro
I don't know much about what the critics love or hate. I do find myself a little more in the documentary space of film. But I will say, when I was a child, my brother and I were so deeply obsessed. And I think it's a great movie, but it's like. It's another apocalypse movie. Do you know Night of the Comet?
- [45:46]
Brett Goldstein
No, I don't know the Comet. I'm sorry, Tig.
- [45:49]
Tig Notaro
It's like a cult classic, kind of low budget apocalypse movie. And I don't know, maybe the reviews are great, maybe they're bad. It feels like one where people. It's campy, you know?
- [46:03]
Brett Goldstein
Right. Okay.
- [46:04]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. It's like I used to work for Sam Raimi. When I first moved to. Yeah, that was my. I was an assistant at his company. So, you know, it's like, do you like camp or do you not like camp? It's that.
- [46:19]
Brett Goldstein
What was he making when you were working with him?
- [46:21]
Tig Notaro
When I first got there for Love of the Game with Kevin Costner had come out, and he was prepping Spider Man.
- [46:30]
Brett Goldstein
Wow. He's very good. What is the film that you used to love? You used to love it, and then you've watched it recently and you've thought, oh, no, I don't like this anymore. Because you've changed. Other times have.
- [46:41]
Tig Notaro
I don't know. I haven't seen this movie, but I did see the trailer.
- [46:48]
Brett Goldstein
Okay.
- [46:48]
Tig Notaro
And it's the Melania doc, Right?
- [46:51]
Brett Goldstein
So you. You used to love it.
- [46:55]
Tig Notaro
No, no, no.
- [46:58]
Brett Goldstein
Because of the current situation, you're like, maybe I don't enjoy this as much
- [47:01]
Tig Notaro
as I used to. Now I think I don't have an answer that. Oh, you know what? You know what? That's not true. Here's the thing. I was a big Star wars fan as a kid, and I would say Return of the Jedi was the movie that I think I was too young to understand. I didn't think. Later I realized it wasn't as good as Empire Strikes Back or Star Wars. I didn't think so. So I guess that's one where I don't feel like it held up.
- [47:39]
Brett Goldstein
What is the film that means the most to you? Not necessarily the film itself is good, but the experience you had seeing the film will always make it meaningful to you. Tig Notaro.
- [47:50]
Tig Notaro
Talk about death. I was. When our sons were, I think, three, we took them to see Lion King, and they were at an age where our son Finn would not sit still. And he kept getting up and wanting to walk out of the theater and walk around and look at stuff. So Stephanie left with him, and I was sitting with Max. And I had never seen the Lion King. I had never seen the Lion King. And so I'm just sitting in there, me and Max, watching the Lion King, and then the dad goes off the cliff. And I was like. In that moment, it hit me of like, oh, And. And Max. Max was like. He was looking around like, what? What happened? And he was like. And they call. My kids, call me mayor for mother. And he was like, mayor. What. What hap. What happened? Where. Where his dad. What happened? And I. All I could come up with, this is why I want death to be more of an open conversation. Because what I Said to him, which I think was appropriate at the time, was I just said, oh. I said, oh. His father kerplunked.
- [49:12]
Brett Goldstein
It's not inaccurate. It's not.
- [49:14]
Tig Notaro
It's not inaccurate, but it's not quite. Like, I can't believe, like.
- [49:19]
Brett Goldstein
And he just went, okay.
- [49:21]
Tig Notaro
Well, no, he. He just went, okay, because it's not entirely untrue. But you could tell that he knew the emotions and the ramifications were much bigger than Kurt plunking. But he had to kind of move beyond it because the scene was moving along. And I just sat there in the theater like, oh, God, we have a conversation to have.
- [49:50]
Brett Goldstein
He does go kablanc.
- [49:52]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, he kerplunked.
- [49:56]
Brett Goldstein
What is the film you most relate to?
- [49:59]
Tig Notaro
Oh. Oh, Brad.
- [50:02]
Brett Goldstein
Oh, Tig.
- [50:03]
Tig Notaro
Me as a person.
- [50:04]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [50:05]
Tig Notaro
I feel like there's a few different things cobbled together because there is no one Tig out there other than me, so I'm not going to see it. Right.
- [50:16]
Brett Goldstein
Okay, I see what you're saying, but
- [50:18]
Tig Notaro
there's some parts of me.
- [50:20]
Brett Goldstein
Yes.
- [50:21]
Tig Notaro
Did you ever see Pete's dragon?
- [50:23]
Brett Goldstein
I've seen both Pete's dragons. You talking the original one with the cartoon? Yeah, yeah, I've seen Pete's dragon more times than you've seen Greece. Me and my sister used to watch Pete's Dragon every single. We go to the video shop and get it out every single week. Same. We're obsessed with Pete's dragon.
- [50:39]
Tig Notaro
Same Z's.
- [50:39]
Brett Goldstein
Okay.
- [50:40]
Tig Notaro
And I so connected with being the, like, dirty haired, freckle face, overall wearing, barefoot, having, you know, just like, skipping through life, wandering into tunnels. You know, I lived in Texas and Mississippi, and there's a lot of trees to climb and a lot of rivers to jump into and woods to walk back into forever. And I think there was something where I just really. I don't know what it was, but I was like, yeah, that's me. But also, Brett, thank you. The me that I think is Andrea Gibson. Parts of Andrea Gibson that I wish. I mean, I did just talk about going viral for being sexy, but Jim Morrison, like the Doors movie?
- [51:35]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [51:35]
Tig Notaro
Like, I want to be that mysterious poet rock star. You know where I. When I'm watching Jim Morrison, I'm always like, that's kind of me. That's basically me. You know, I see that. But then also, Brett, one of my favorite movies of all time is Breaking Away. It's with what's Dennis Quaid? But the main guy in the movie. Oh, my gosh. I just realized these are all men that I am like, that's me. So I. The lead guy. He is obsessed with Italian culture. He speaks with Italian. It takes place in Bloomington, Indiana, and he speaks Italian in his home, and he listens to opera and he cycles. He's obsessed with Italian cyclists, and. And he goes everywhere on his bicycle. And I think that the relationship he has with, like, the tough guys at school, you know what I mean? That kind of attack him for being his little Italian self. I feel like I connect with that. Even though I was a popular kid and well liked, I think that I was teased because of the way I looked, and I failed, and I dropped out and I had a bull haircut, and, you know, I didn't. I wasn't looking or acting like all the other girls, so.
- [53:08]
Brett Goldstein
Well, you were Jim Morrison, so, I mean.
- [53:10]
Tig Notaro
Well, obviously barefoot Jim Morrison overalls, hiding out in caves with imaginary.
- [53:20]
Brett Goldstein
With Elliot.
- [53:21]
Tig Notaro
My imaginary friend was not Elliot the dragon. It was Eddie Van Halen.
- [53:26]
Brett Goldstein
Wow.
- [53:27]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I lived my life like Eddie Van Halen was watching over me.
- [53:31]
Brett Goldstein
He's not imaginary. He's real. You know, that was real all the time.
- [53:35]
Tig Notaro
Yes. But, like, my whole. Truly, my whole childhood, I was like, when I would play soccer, I played soccer as a kid, and when I would juggle the soccer ball, I would make up in my mind that Eddie Van Halen was just having a cigarette break and just watching me and going, man, doing a great job, kid. Keep it up. That was my little guardian angel.
- [53:59]
Brett Goldstein
That's great.
- [54:00]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [54:02]
Brett Goldstein
Van Halen did you proud.
- [54:03]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [54:04]
Brett Goldstein
What's objectively the greatest film of all time might not be your favorite, but subjectively the best.
- [54:10]
Tig Notaro
I mean, I think it's both. I love Terms of Endearment. I mean, throw me Deborah Winger any day of the week, and I'll take it. I mean, Urban Cowboy. Have you seen that?
- [54:24]
Brett Goldstein
Are you kidding me? Deborah Winger doesn't do enough.
- [54:27]
Tig Notaro
She's gardening. She's in upstate New York. I mean, I've had the luxury of getting to know her a little bit over the years.
- [54:34]
Brett Goldstein
That's what I'm saying. She's not doing enough gardening. I've seen the garden. It's a mess.
- [54:39]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. She's so incredible.
- [54:42]
Brett Goldstein
Oh, that's nice. Okay, we're at my favorite question. It's everyone's favorite question. It's the only reason people listen to the podcast. What's the sexiest film you've ever seen? Tignataro.
- [54:52]
Tig Notaro
I mean, I'm a gay person, so I'd have to go with bound.
- [54:56]
Brett Goldstein
Listen. I'd also probably put that in the same. I'd say the same thing. So, yeah, you know, we've got that in common.
- [55:04]
Tig Notaro
Can I tell you something?
- [55:05]
Brett Goldstein
You can.
- [55:06]
Tig Notaro
Okay. After. Speaking of cancer. After I had cancer.
- [55:10]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [55:10]
Tig Notaro
I had a double mastectomy. I have scars across my chest. Didn't have reconstructive surgery. I felt like I was trying to get to understand my body again and feel comfortable and confident. And it coincided with this woman who I'd always had a thing for paying attention to me. And I didn't know what to do because I, like, I was so insecure about my body. And we were having dinner and she was like, oh, I've got a thing for scars. And I was like, what? I was like, I got what you need. I was like, oh, my God. Get this. Guess who she was house sitting for.
- [55:54]
Brett Goldstein
Tina Geysen.
- [55:55]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [55:55]
Brett Goldstein
What?
- [55:56]
Tig Notaro
Guess where we hooked up. In Gina's bed. Wow. Yes. Yeah.
- [56:02]
Brett Goldstein
That's fantastic.
- [56:04]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Yeah. And she does have anything for scars. How long did it last, that relationship? Yeah, I mean, we were never in a committed relationship. I think we had a very.
- [56:20]
Brett Goldstein
Did she? Did she? I kind of think that's brilliant. Like, did she cure you of your sense?
- [56:26]
Tig Notaro
Like, oh, my gosh, now I'm like walking around with my shirt off at the poolside at the beach. I'm like, yeah, you bet. Yeah, it's exactly what you think it is. But no, I feel even though it wasn't the relationship for us, man, I think we both got so much out of it and I got a lot of body positivity. Yeah.
- [56:49]
Brett Goldstein
That's fucking great.
- [56:50]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Yeah.
- [56:51]
Brett Goldstein
There's a subcategory to this question. Troubling boners, worrying wide ons a film you found arousing that you weren't sure you should.
- [57:01]
Tig Notaro
I don't know if I have an answer to that.
- [57:04]
Brett Goldstein
Is it Melania?
- [57:07]
Tig Notaro
It's the Melania trailer.
- [57:12]
Brett Goldstein
It's a perfect dance to take.
- [57:15]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I guess that's. You can put that in anywhere. Just. It's not even the film because I will not watch that film. But it's the trailer.
- [57:23]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah, the trailer.
- [57:24]
Tig Notaro
The trailer's a lot anyway.
- [57:27]
Brett Goldstein
What's the film you could or have watched the most over and over again?
- [57:31]
Tig Notaro
Urban Cowboy.
- [57:32]
Brett Goldstein
Wow. With your girl in it.
- [57:34]
Tig Notaro
I. I grew up in Texas in the 80s, so I was around this. That's where this was, was Houston. I was in Houston in the 80s. And so when Urban Cowboy came out, I lived there when it came out, and I was surrounded by urban cowboys. And so it was like, oh, this Is. Yeah. I know this world, you know, and to this day, I mean. And again, you know, you go back to Greece. I love John Travolta.
- [58:03]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [58:04]
Tig Notaro
And here we meet again on Urban Cowboy after Greece. And Deborah Winger. I mean, I'm a loyal one, but I love Urban Cowboy.
- [58:14]
Brett Goldstein
When did that come out?
- [58:16]
Tig Notaro
Came out probably in 1980. I don't know, 79. 80.
- [58:21]
Brett Goldstein
80, 80.
- [58:22]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I was nine.
- [58:24]
Brett Goldstein
You love John Trevor.
- [58:26]
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh. I was nine when that came out. And I can't imagine letting my kids watch that movie. So funny.
- [58:35]
Brett Goldstein
What's the worst film you've ever seen?
- [58:36]
Tig Notaro
Melania's trailer.
- [58:38]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah, what's. Now you're in comedy. You're very funny. You're multiple award nominated. God bless you, Tig. What?
- [58:47]
Tig Notaro
Zero award winning.
- [58:49]
Brett Goldstein
What is the. So many nominations.
- [58:51]
Tig Notaro
My God, I know. I need a wheelbarrow.
- [58:54]
Brett Goldstein
Think about the honor. It's such an honor to be nominated. I mean, the honors. You've got too many honours anyway. What's the film that makes you laugh the most?
- [59:05]
Tig Notaro
I saw it in recent years. I go towards really heavy stuff.
- [59:10]
Brett Goldstein
Yes.
- [59:11]
Tig Notaro
Really devastating from Dear Zachary. You know, Terms of Endearment. I love Boys Don't Cry, Dancer in the Dark. Like, these are all. Yeah. I love that stuff. I produced Come See Me in a good way.
- [59:27]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [59:28]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [59:28]
Brett Goldstein
It's truly my. It genuinely. I was thinking when I said it to you earlier, it may have topped saving Mr. Banks used to be my film that made me cry the most and I do think come seemingly good like might of top tier because it took me six days of crying to get through it.
- [59:44]
Tig Notaro
And what do you suppose it hit with you on a personal level? And you know what's interesting is at the Sundance premiere, during the Q and A, this man stood up and he looked like he just finished an episode of Joe Rogan. And he stood up and he said, this film needs to be seen by everybody. Like, it was so beautiful and intense. And Stephanie to this day always says, I feel like men really connect with this film for some reason. And her. I'm curious to hear why you connect with it. I know that you're a very sensitive, open guy. I mean, but really like. But there's so many different themes of love and loss and suicide and gender issues and so many things.
- [60:46]
Brett Goldstein
It's an interesting question. I don't know if there's something about it as a man watching it, other than. I just really, really. Can I say something, Tig, that sort of bothered me from the beginning of this. I think I May have used the wrong pronouns for Andrea. I think I said she. And I believe it's they and I.
- [61:05]
Tig Notaro
And I can tell you right now that is kind of you to bring up. But if you remember in the movie Andrea said that they don't even connect with gender anymore, that it's just Andrea. And if. And kind of like when I said Meg told me that that was me becoming more of myself and that, like, I should just embrace it. I feel like that is the vibe that Andrea and Meg had of, like, everything's fine. You're doing it. There is nothing to change.
- [61:39]
Brett Goldstein
God bless you. God bless you, Tig. Now, you know what? The film, the other thing about the film, that's what kind of touched me. Listen, part of it genuinely, I think, was snuggle down. Was Tig snuggle down was the literally seeing snuggle down and knowing that that is the best thing that can ever happen in your life. And. Yeah, and also so much of it was surprising to me because, listen, I'm a dickhead who. If you said to me poetry, I'd go, oh, I'd roll my eyes. I'm not interested in poetry.
- [62:08]
Tig Notaro
Sure.
- [62:09]
Brett Goldstein
Incredible. And so funny and so. And all the things that Andrea says of like how simple the words are, it's fucking phenomenal stuff. Just all of it's brilliant. But there's also that thing of like. And I feel like you're constantly having to be reminded of this in life, but I see it. Have you ever seen the film the Diving Bell and the Butterfly?
- [62:30]
Tig Notaro
No.
- [62:31]
Brett Goldstein
The Diving Bell. You'd love it. You love a heavy film. It is true story of. I think he was the editor of Vogue in France and he had like a stroke, something brain aneurysm. And he had locked in syndrome where he. The only thing he could move was one eyelid. And the first 30 minutes of the film, the camera is his eye. So the whole film is like people just looking into the lens, like nurses. And he can't communicate. He can only blink. And it's really like quite traumatic. It's quite terrifying and claustrophobic because you are stuck. And you can hear the doctor saying, perhaps we should sew it shut, and things like that. And it's this really like, oh, God. Oh, God. However, once you sort of get into the film, I think about it so often because there are these women in his life who he has cheated on, who he has hurt, his exes, his ex wives and stuff like that. And all of them, all of them show up at the hospital and all of them look after him. And the fact that you are his eye, you're the pov, the love they show to the camera, to you, the audience, you know what I mean, Is so simple. And it is that thing of, I think, what that film. Tell me what your. Is like when it comes down to it. In the case of that film, you know, this man made mistakes. He had. He'd done things. He'd hurt these people. And the people that he hurt, when it comes down to it, when they realize, oh, this is just a vulnerable. None of it matters. And it's all just love. It's really that. You know what I mean? And your. And your film is fucking hell. It is just pure love. Why are you crying? Because. Are you crying because of love? Yes. That's the whole film?
- [64:07]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Yes.
- [64:09]
Brett Goldstein
Right from the beginning. It's really something.
- [64:13]
Tig Notaro
Well, one of our executive producers, Glennon Doyle, that moment in the film is Glennon's favorite moment, is, why are you crying? Because of love. And so when I read that, I was like, gosh, does Brett know Glennon? I mean, but it's just like Glennon talks about that moment all the time.
- [64:36]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah, but I think I feel that you must have had. You must have experienced it with family. I've had it with family. I've had it. Anyone who's, like, anyone I'm mad at or I've had issues with, if I find out they're ill, it's like, I don't. I don't care any. It's so funny how instantly, of course, I don't care about this stupid issue. I love you. You know what I mean?
- [64:53]
Tig Notaro
Like, yeah. I mean, when I remember after September 11th, and they were talking about when the buildings went down, there were papers from those office buildings that slowly floated across the water into, you know, New Jersey or Brooklyn or wherever. And that really struck me. Well, a few things. I always do this, like, nobody can see this unless you're on Patreon, people. Patreon. Okay. Is this the Patreon moment?
- [65:31]
Brett Goldstein
We're not there yet, but this all is. The video is. Yeah.
- [65:34]
Tig Notaro
Okay. Well, anyway, when I picture the plane going into a building, this is the sweet spot in life. And I always use this because this is the plane, here's the building. When you're this close to death and hitting the building, you're not still mad at your sibling for borrowing your clothes without asking. You're not mad at anything. You.
- [66:01]
Brett Goldstein
You're not mad at anyone.
- [66:03]
Tig Notaro
Not mad at anybody. And also the paper slowly flying away I thought about the bosses of those people, like, riding their ass, like, you gotta get that in on time. And this is so important. And rah. And then it's like just slowly floating away. And those are hard moments to hold onto, but I think about them a lot. Those papers floating away and the millisecond before the plane went in, you know.
- [66:35]
Brett Goldstein
What was your answer to film that made you laugh the most? Oh, Melania. No Tears of. No Tears of Endearment.
- [66:41]
Tig Notaro
No, I have not. This is what I was going to say. I watched very recently because of my sons. And I like, utter devastation or stupidity. Dumb and Dumber holds up. I mean, I'd never saw it before. I mean, I. I just saw it, you know, like two years ago.
- [67:03]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah.
- [67:03]
Tig Notaro
And I laughed with Stephanie and our sons.
- [67:07]
Brett Goldstein
Right.
- [67:08]
Tig Notaro
So we watched both of them. We watched both dumb and dumb. I like, I just love stupid or devastating. Nothing in between. I just. I just really. That's. That's it for me.
- [67:21]
Brett Goldstein
Tig Notaro, you have been beyond a delight. However, when Stephanie was coming up to her hundredth birthday and you were coming up to your 115th birthday, you said, let's snuggle down. But let's snuggle down hard. Sorry, Tig. Snuggle down. Let's tig snuggle down. So you tig, snuggle down together. You tig snuggle down so hard.
- [67:45]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [67:45]
Brett Goldstein
You gave the bed sores.
- [67:47]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [67:48]
Brett Goldstein
And you two making each other laugh. You're having a cuddle. You were laughing, cuddling you. Old school. You were like, you know what I used to do? Wet myself all the time. And you start wetting yourself, you're both laughing, but now you're covered in. It's. That starts to sort of become moldy. And eventually you're covered in mold. And then you. You get kaplunked. And I'm walking past with a coffin. You know what I'm like? And I go, has anyone seen Tig? And they go, yes. Tig snuggled down too hard and plunked. And I go, oh, fucking. I knew it. It was 115th birthday, probably. Was it? They go, yeah, yeah. I come in, I go, fuck here now. Look at the state of this mess everywhere. Sort of stuff's grown on you. Like off.
- [68:34]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [68:35]
Brett Goldstein
Anyway, I'm like, give me a hand. Everyone comes over, all the friends and family that were gathered around. We chop you up into bits, try and chop you up just to fit you in the coffin. We get you in the coffin. It's much more than I was Expecting.
- [68:46]
Tig Notaro
Sounds like a Zack Snyder movie.
- [68:49]
Brett Goldstein
Yeah, right. You'll love it. It's round in there. There's only enough room in this coffin for me to slip one DVD into the side for you to take across to the other side. And on the other side, it's movie night every night. And one night it's your movie night. What film are you taking to show your family eating vegan cheese when it is your movie night in heaven? Please dig the tarot.
- [69:11]
Tig Notaro
Can't be Dear Zachary.
- [69:13]
Brett Goldstein
Brett, please don't.
- [69:14]
Tig Notaro
I can.
- [69:16]
Brett Goldstein
I refuse to put that in your coffin.
- [69:18]
Tig Notaro
And it can't be Return of the Jedi.
- [69:21]
Brett Goldstein
Okay, it could be, but it can't be Dear Zachary. I'm not sending that in your comments.
- [69:26]
Tig Notaro
It's not going to be Melania. Not even the trailer.
- [69:29]
Brett Goldstein
Can't be the trailer. No. Okay.
- [69:32]
Tig Notaro
Gosh. Oh, my kids are nine and a half year old boys. I would have to do Dumb and Dumber. I would have to.
- [69:49]
Brett Goldstein
You're taking silly. That's the right choice.
- [69:51]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I'm gonna take Silly all the way. Because there's nothing better than laughing with my little crew.
- [69:59]
Brett Goldstein
Tig, before we say goodbye, will you please tell everyone everything that they should watch and listen and look out for starring or featuring you or made by you?
- [70:08]
Tig Notaro
Oh, well, sure. I mean, I produced a documentary that is nominated for an Academy Award.
- [70:16]
Brett Goldstein
Ever heard of the Academy Awards? Yeah.
- [70:18]
Tig Notaro
Ever heard of Come See Me in the Good Light? Have you ever heard of Andrea Gibson?
- [70:23]
Brett Goldstein
There's that me talking about it. Yeah, quite a bit.
- [70:26]
Tig Notaro
I'm also in the new Star Trek series called Starfleet Academy, starring Holly Hunter.
- [70:34]
Brett Goldstein
Wow.
- [70:35]
Tig Notaro
Paul Giamatti.
- [70:37]
Brett Goldstein
Wow. I love Paul Giamatti. I love Polyana. What a fucking cast. Fun.
- [70:42]
Tig Notaro
Yes. I'm not. I do struggle a bit with my sci fi lines. I'll tell you. I'm also an engineer, so I really get a mouthful. But I used to be on another Star Trek series called Star Trek Discovery. And so my character just jumped over to this new series and I'm on tour right now. You can go to tignotaro.com and get all my tour dates.
- [71:09]
Brett Goldstein
What's your new tour code?
- [71:10]
Tig Notaro
It's called out of Nowhere. Okay. It's called out of Nowhere. And then. Oh, I have a podcast as well.
- [71:17]
Brett Goldstein
Yes, an excellent podcast.
- [71:19]
Tig Notaro
Yes. It's called Handsome. And you've been on that with your handsome face and asked you a question. Yeah, I'm with Fortune Feimster and May Martin, and we just do the most handsome pod. I mean, second in line to you. You're obviously the most handsome face in Hollywood and everyone knows it. And you would have been the one going viral in army of the Dead. Let's be honest.
- [71:49]
Brett Goldstein
I could never compete. Tig, I love you. And I really hope that you have a lovely time at the Oscars. And I would really hope that when we are next in the same country, we can snuggle down. Tig, snuggle down. And try not to cocoplunk.
- [72:08]
Tig Notaro
I adore you, my friend. And I am so glad that we were finally able to make this work. And I. And not express enough how much your text meant to me. And I know I already said it, I know I sent you a voice memo and we talked about it on the show, but it really, really. I could feel you. Big time.
- [72:28]
Brett Goldstein
Thank you, Tig.
- [72:29]
Tig Notaro
And I still can. And it just means so, so much to me.
- [72:34]
Brett Goldstein
Thank you very much. I'm very, very moved. I'm going to stop the recording before you make me cry. Okay. Good day to you.
- [72:41]
Tig Notaro
Good day.
- [72:45]
Andrea Gibson
Well, when I wrote this, I. I was writing it for Meg, but I shared it online and I. I shared it so that people who had lost someone might feel more connected to the person they had lost. Still, I don't think I ever told anybody that I had written it from my own perspective because I didn't want to upset anyone. This is called Love Letter from the Afterlife. I've never read it like this. My love, I was so wrong. Dying is the opposite of leaving. When I left my body, I did not go away. That portal of light was not a portal to elsewhere, but a portal to here. I am more here than I ever was before. I am more with you than I ever could have imagined. So close. You look past me when wondering where I am. It's okay. I know that to be human is to be farsighted. But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living. Why did no one tell us that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive? Ask me the altitude of heaven and I will answer, how tall are you? In my back pocket is a love note with every word you wish you'd said. At night I sit ecstatic at the loom, weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets. All day I listen to the radio of your memories. Yes, I know every secret you thought too dark to tell me and love you more for everything you feared might make me love you less. When you cry, I guide your tear his toward the garden of kisses I once planted on your cheeks so you know they are all perennials. Forgive me for not being able to weep with you. One day you will understand. One day you will know why. I read the poetry of your grief to those waiting to be born and they are all the more excited. There is nothing I want for now that we are so close. I open the curtain of your eyelids with my own smile every morning. I wish you could see the beauty your spirit is right now making of your pain, your deep seated fears, playing musical chairs, laughing about how real they are. Not my luck. I want to sing it through the rafters of your bones. Dying is the opposite of leaving. I want to echo it through the corridor of your temples. I am more with you than I ever was before. Do you understand? It was me who beckoned the stranger who caught you in her arms when you forgot not to order for two at the coffee shop. It was me who was up all night gathering sunflowers into your chest the last day you feared you would never again wake up feeling light hearted. I know it's hard to believe, but I promise it's the truth. I promise one day you will say it too. I can't believe I ever thought I could lose you.
- [76:38]
Brett Goldstein
Jesus christ. So that was episode 385. Head over to the patreon at patreon.com forward slash. Brett Goldstein for the extra 20 minutes of chat secrets and video with Tig, go to Apple Podcast give us a five star rating. Right about the film that means the most you and why it's lovely to read. It helps with numbers and it's all really appreciated. My neighbor Maureen loves it. You can still see all of you and shrinking on Apple tv. Thank you so much to Tig for her time. Thanks to Scrubby's Pip and the Distraction Pieces Network. Thanks to Buddy Piece for producing it. Thanks Adam Richardson for the graphics and Lisa Lydon for the photography. Come and join me in a couple of weeks for another amazing episode with an incredible guest. Thank you all for listening. I hope you're all well. That's it for now. In the meantime, have a lovely week and please be excellent to each other. No time for full TV shows. TikTok has endless short dramas you can watch anytime. Fast paced, easy to follow and hard to stop. Download TikTok now and start watching.