Fire Escape Cast #86

Summary

Fire Escape Cast #86 – July 29, 2024 Summary

Introduction In Episode #86 of Fire Escape Cast, hosts Mike Mahardy, Dan Reichert, and Mary Kish dive deep into a variety of topics, ranging from humorous takes on weather reports to in-depth discussions about the latest video games. Maintaining their signature blend of witty banter and insightful commentary, the trio ensures listeners are both entertained and informed, whether they're long-time followers or new to the podcast.

---

1. Humorous Weather Banter

The episode kicks off with Mike Mahardy expressing his annoyance with the unrelenting summer heat:

• [00:13] Mike Mahardy: "It's hot as fuck here. It's really annoying. I don't want to start talking about the weather right away. Cause that's boring. Simpletons talk about the weather. But it's really fucking hot and I'm sick of it."

His attempt to pivot away from mundane weather talk leads to a playful exchange about weathermen being allegories for sexual encounters:

• [01:20] Mike Mahardy: "We just rock his world sexually."
• [01:33] Mary Kish: "Forecast is hot and stormy."

The conversation evolves into a mock-serious debate about meteorologists, blending humor with subtle critiques of accuracy in weather reporting:

• [03:14] Mike Mahardy: "It can't be any worse than what fucking apple weather tells me every day. It has not been right once this year."

---

2. Movie Discussions and Romantic Comedies

Transitioning from weather to cinema, the hosts share their thoughts on recent movie releases, particularly focusing on romantic comedies. They critique the poor execution of certain films while praising others that maintain a balance between humor and heartfelt moments:

• [10:06] Mary Kish: "It's just a mess. I have a low bar for rom coms... But, like, just the way they wrote these characters is so unbelievable."

Dan Reichert reminisces about classic rom-coms, highlighting favorites like Sleeping with Other People and Palm Springs for their strong character development and engaging storylines:

• [12:08] Dan Reichert: "I like that one."

The trio contrasts these with their disappointment in Anyone But You, criticizing its contrived plot and inconsistent tone:

• [12:35] Mike Mahardy: "It's a mess. It's really not what I was looking for."

---

3. Deep Dive into Video Games

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing recent and upcoming video games, analyzing their mechanics, storytelling, and overall impact on the gaming community.

a. "Bo Path of the Teal Lotus" Mary Kish introduces Bo Path of the Teal Lotus, a Metroidvania platformer praised for its stunning watercolor-inspired visuals and challenging boss fights:

• [43:54] Mary Kish: "It's beautiful. I would say it kind of looks like Okami, like a watercolor, animalistic space."

She elaborates on the game's design, praising its character interactions and aesthetic appeal while lamenting some of its lack of modern quality-of-life features:

• [44:55] Mary Kish: "You cannot take screenshots. You cannot mark your map, which I think is disappointing."

b. "Crow Country" Mary then discusses Crow Country, a horror game likened to Silent Hill, emphasizing its engaging gameplay and appeal to both nostalgic players and new audiences:

• [84:09] Mary Kish: "It's very much like a younger, focused game, maybe for younger audiences, just the way that it's presented, but as long as you're okay with that, it's an enjoyable, simple, cutesy story that I completely poured myself into."

Dan Reichert agrees, highlighting how the game balances nostalgia with modern enhancements:

• [85:18] Mary Kish: "It's a perfect twofold, it's like a modern take on a game style that is still fucking good to this day."

c. "Dungeons of Hinterburg" and Steam Deck Optimization The hosts touch upon Dungeons of Hinterburg and discuss optimizing gaming experiences on the Steam Deck, sharing tips on adjusting TDP settings to enhance battery life without compromising gameplay:

• [92:38] Mary Kish: "I played it with a gamepad, so I think you could play it with a Steam Deck, providing that it doesn't overload."

---

4. Listener Q&A: Chartreuse and Heartburn

Engaging with their audience, the hosts address a listener's inquiry about experiencing heartburn after consuming Chartreuse, a French liqueur:

• [102:01] Dan Reichert: "What are you doing?"

Mike Mahardy shares his own experiences with Chartreuse and lactose intolerance, adding a personal touch to the discussion:

• [103:04] Mike Mahardy: "I brought back a bottle of green Chartreuse from Paris... It fortunately does not give me heartburn."

The conversation veers into humorous territory as they discuss dietary habits and the impact of certain foods and beverages on their health:

• [105:32] Dan Reichert: "Sometimes I'll... bang, bang, bang. Just Taco Bell, McDonald's, Pizza Hut."

---

5. "Would You Rather" Segment: Fun Comparisons

In a playful segment, the trio engages in a "Would You Rather" game with unconventional comparisons, leading to humorous disagreements:

• [118:24] Dan Reichert: "I prefer the ability to breathe through my nose."
• [121:28] Mike Mahardy: "You're gonna pass out."

Their banter showcases their chemistry and ability to keep the conversation lively, even when delving into absurd hypotheticals:

• [123:18] Dan Reichert: "You're being ridiculous, Mike."

---

6. Personal Updates and Future Plans

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts share personal updates, including upcoming travels, weddings, and streaming schedules:

• [140:38] Dan Reichert: "I have back-to-back weddings in October..."
• [140:18] Mary Kish: "Usually streaming on Mondays on Twitch."

They also promote their merchandise and Patreon, encouraging listeners to support the podcast:

• [138:51] Mary Kish: "At fireescapecast.com it is. On our socials, you can get merch."
• [141:00] Mike Mahardy: "If you want the ad-free or video versions of the show, you can go to Patreon..."

---

7. Conclusion and Sign-Off

Wrapping up the episode, the hosts express their enthusiasm for future discussions and upcoming game explorations:

• [141:44] Dan Reichert: "I got a list I love. Every time I leave this podcast, I have a list of games to check out."
• [142:04] Dan Reichert: "Sa."

They thank their audience and sign off with promises of more engaging content:

• [142:01] Mike Mahardy: "All right, that's our episode. Thanks for joining, everybody. We'll be back in a couple of weeks..."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Mike Mahardy [00:13]: "It's hot as fuck here. It's really annoying."
• Mary Kish [14:20]: "I do think there's something to be said about boredom and how we're bored less than we used to be."
• Dan Reichert [43:54]: "Bo Path of the Teal Lotus... is a very animalistic space."
• Mary Kish [84:09]: "She absolutely loved it. And it made me realize like this is like goatee material."
• Mike Mahardy [118:25]: "Cheese."
• Dan Reichert [134:59]: "Cheese."

---

Final Thoughts

Episode #86 of Fire Escape Cast delivers a compelling mix of humor, critical analysis, and personal anecdotes. The hosts' dynamic interactions and candid discussions about both mainstream and indie video games provide listeners with a comprehensive and entertaining experience. Whether debating the merits of a new Metroidvania or sharing personal mishaps with heartburn, Mike, Dan, and Mary maintain a relatable and engaging presence that keeps their audience coming back for more.

For those interested in supporting the show or accessing exclusive content, visit fireescapecast.com or check out their Patreon. Don’t miss out on future episodes where the trio continues to explore the fascinating world of video games and beyond.

Transcript

[Mike Mahardy]

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the fire escape cast. It is episode 86. It is almost August. It's hot as fuck here. It's really annoying. I don't want to start talking about the weather right away. Cause that's boring. Simpletons talk about the weather. But it's really fucking hot and I'm sick of it. Anyway. I'm Mike Mahardy here as always with Dan Reichert.

[Dan Reichert]

You gotta say hi to Mary and then immediately pivot to something really interesting because he blew it with the weather thing. Up top.

[Mike Mahardy]

All right, Mary and Mary Kish. Someone broke into my house last night and kissed me right on the mouth.

[Mary Kish]

The weatherman. And he was like, it's going to be a hot one today, boys.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's how I get my weather.

[Mary Kish]

And then he jumps off the window.

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't get apps anymore. I pay a weatherman. Sneak in and go, why you be overcast?

[Dan Reichert]

You made the weather interesting. Good pivot. Excellent. Good work.

[Mike Mahardy]

Bring up parka everywhere you go. Does he leave some mornings? He leaves some mornings. He sticks around me and Amanda. You know what?

[Mary Kish]

You know what?

[Mike Mahardy]

They, you know, quote unquote, tag team. The weatherman.

[Dan Reichert]

What do you mean?

[Mike Mahardy]

There's no double entendre. We just re wreck him together.

[Dan Reichert]

In what context?

[Mike Mahardy]

We just rock his world sexually.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, okay. I see. Okay, cool.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, thunder. Here's some thunder for you.

[Mary Kish]

Forecast is hot and stormy.

[Mike Mahardy]

This drizzle so light right at the end.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's good.

[Mike Mahardy]

How are. How are you two?

[Dan Reichert]

How are yours too?

[Mike Mahardy]

I said, how are you two?

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I'm good. I'm doing all right.

[Mike Mahardy]

Threesomes in the morning.

[Dan Reichert]

My weatherman three says. We knew foursomes. We're very progressive.

[Mike Mahardy]

Weatherman and the sports anchor.

[Dan Reichert]

It's the entire weather department of the Star Tribune here. We. We have over every week. So, yeah, it's. It's a good time here.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary's five.

[Mary Kish]

She invites the interns. I love the idea is that the more progressive just means more people in your orgy. Like, well, and also we support progression.

[Dan Reichert]

Is well, and we support print media. I'm not having, like, website meteorologists over here. We're supporting the newspapers meteorology department by having sex with them.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, I was thinking like broadcast. Local news team. You're going old school. Print.

[Dan Reichert]

That's two. New media. There's a lot of local news.

[Mike Mahardy]

There's a lot of tweed in your orgies.

[Dan Reichert]

Tweed?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Patches. A lot of shoulder patches. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary's just all streamers. I probably shouldn't say that.

[Dan Reichert]

Do they have weather streamers?

[Mike Mahardy]

Are there weather people?

[Dan Reichert]

Well, I just saw twisters, so I know There are weather YouTubers.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, I do think there are people that observe the weather, but I don't think there's meteorologists that stream on the reg.

[Dan Reichert]

It seems untapped.

[Mike Mahardy]

Observe the weather. Like the stream is just them. Look at the sky, but it's kind of blue, kind of gray that seems.

[Dan Reichert]

I got a green screen wall. Why don't I become a twitch meteorologist? That's like totally unaccredited.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's like Rob. Rob Andler's audition tape that he has unaccredited.

[Mary Kish]

Meteorology is a funny side gig.

[Dan Reichert]

All right, that's a good gimmick.

[Mike Mahardy]

It can't be any worse than what fucking apple weather tells me every day. It has not been right once this year.

[Dan Reichert]

I find apple weather thing about all.

[Mary Kish]

Meteorology and weathermen like, or women. It's really inaccurate and we just agree that that's the normal and so we don't do anything about it. I think any of us could be a weather person and be like, it might rain tomorrow. There's like a 20% chance. And if it does, you're like I said there was a small chance and if it doesn't, you're like I said it was a small chance and you could just get away with being bad at your job and no one would be the wiser.

[Mike Mahardy]

The pseudoscience. It's like chiropractors and people who think the earth is spherical. I don't buy any of that. I won't have it.

[Dan Reichert]

Do you think it's more important to be accurate and good at predicting weather or just good at being on camera and work a green screen and know where you're pointing?

[Mary Kish]

Based on all of the meteorologists I see who go viral, it's really important that you have a big fat cake and it doesn't matter what you say about the weather at all.

[Dan Reichert]

Why Wait, what context are there? Cakes?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, God, it's slang for a really nice butt. You got cake.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, is that a weatherman? Thing is, but I think she's talking about.

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't.

[Mary Kish]

I mean, I'm talking about.

[Dan Reichert]

I haven't watched a weather report in 15 years. I have no idea what's going on over there now.

[Mary Kish]

Every time I see the weather reports, it's always some, like, smoking hot lady with a huge shelf.

[Dan Reichert]

Shelf and cake. I'm behind on the terms the kids use.

[Mary Kish]

Get on the trolley, Dan.

[Dan Reichert]

Is trolley about term too?

[Mike Mahardy]

Yes. Let's teach him fake stuff.

[Dan Reichert]

Did you mean to do a butt term when you said trolley?

[Mary Kish]

Okay. Her flappers were hanging. You know what I mean?

[Dan Reichert]

Flappers of her boobs.

[Mary Kish]

Not anymore.

[Dan Reichert]

What else could they be? Butt cheeks?

[Mary Kish]

Her lower flappers.

[Dan Reichert]

They don't. I think you're trying to get me with that one. No, I feel like I've heard people say cake. Never heard shelf until now.

[Mike Mahardy]

If you want to be, if you want to be cool, next time you jump onto a Giant Bomb video, say what's up, Sliz?

[Dan Reichert]

What's that?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, don't worry. But the kids will know what you mean. All those kids that watch Giant Bomb.

[Dan Reichert]

I know about the skibidi now.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, there's skibidi, there's sliz, there's cake. The shelf.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm afraid to say sliz because I don't know what it means. I don't know skibidi means either.

[Mike Mahardy]

But he just said, you got it now.

[Dan Reichert]

Skibidi. Well, I know. I just know it's a term. I don't know. I've never heard of sliz until a minute ago. And Pro Bowls, you're making stuff up.

[Mary Kish]

What's the Pro Bowls?

[Dan Reichert]

The problem?

[Mary Kish]

Problemo. Pro Bols.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, oh, go on.

[Mary Kish]

What's that one?

[Mike Mahardy]

No, go on.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I'm not doing that one. I'm not doing that. Damn it. Fraggle.

[Mary Kish]

Down and fraggle. They say.

[Dan Reichert]

Uhuh.

[Mike Mahardy]

This is great radio.

[Dan Reichert]

Yes, yes.

[Mary Kish]

Us trying to.

[Mike Mahardy]

How was Twisters? Was it good?

[Dan Reichert]

I liked it a lot. I, I mean you go see Twisters, you kind of know what to expect. Where you just want it to be the fun, you know, you want some likable characters chasing tornadoes around and fun stuff happening. And like that's basically exactly what the movie was. It was similar, I'd say, to just the tone and just vibe of the first one, but a different story, different characters. They, you know, there's some things that are definitely modernized where it's like he's a tornado wrangler. YouTub Glenn Powell is. And then it's like, you know, it's, it's like a group of kids doing like science projects and trying to like use new technology to like map tornadoes and stuff. Can I, can I tell you a twister spoiler? If I. No, no.

[Mary Kish]

Okay, wait, the original.

[Dan Reichert]

No Twisters.

[Mary Kish]

No off. It just came out.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, okay, okay, fair enough, fair enough.

[Mike Mahardy]

I can't.

[Mary Kish]

Such earnestness.

[Dan Reichert]

I told Grub was very excited to hear it and I said it today on Blight Club and the whole Chat was like, oh, I am more excited to see it now.

[Mike Mahardy]

We are not grubby. This is not blight club. Fair enough. I'm sick of hearing about both of those fuckers. Shut up about them.

[Mary Kish]

Stop talking about blight club. Stop talking about the round Earth. I like, pisses Mike off.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, I liked the first twister back in. Well, I didn't. That was also a summer blockbuster, right? Summer movie.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. I'm glad to hear it was that way outside of Kansas. Because there I did start to question recently about, like, oh, is that just huge? Because I was in Kansas and we all knew tornadoes. But, like, like, no, it sounds like other people liked it too.

[Mike Mahardy]

Correct me if I'm wrong. That's the movie, right? Where a stop sign flies through the air and beheads someone, right?

[Dan Reichert]

Because the wind, someone.

[Mary Kish]

No, in the original twister, there's, like, a cow that goes around and then it goes around again.

[Mike Mahardy]

What's her name? Helen Hunt.

[Dan Reichert]

Jamie G. Okay, I'm confused. Seymour Hoffman.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm confused, like, final.

[Dan Reichert]

That sounds like a Final Destination thing.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, I mean, I don't think it shows the beheading, but it definitely hurts somebody.

[Dan Reichert]

It's been forever. I don't know. I don't remember a lot of death in the first twister.

[Mike Mahardy]

That cow's probably dead.

[Mary Kish]

The. So they have an explosion of a truck because there's competing people that are also storm chasers. And they get too close and they get sucked up and then they, like, the whole truck explodes. And so it's presumed dead.

[Dan Reichert]

Cary, always the princess pride. Like, he's the leader. He's the bad guy of the tornado movie. Yeah, he's worse than the tornadoes.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, I thought he's like the voice of the tornadoes.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, it's like a Pixar tornado.

[Mike Mahardy]

Glenn Powell is like the hot thing right now.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. Yeah. It seems like he's just popping up and everything. Bonk and I watched that Hitman movie on Netflix recently. That was really good. Yeah, Top Gun, this.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like, we just watched anyone but you. Him and Sydney Sweeney.

[Dan Reichert]

Can you confirm something? I mean, I don't think he was lying. This is just. Sounds like a crazy scene. So I saw a Twisters with Ben Hansen and Bonk and Hanson when we were talking about this and he saw anyone but you and said there's a part where he gets a spider on him and he freaks out and he gets naked and then he, like, goatsies himself, like, spreads his asshole open next to, like, a bunch of people on the beach and asks them to look Inside his asshole for a spider.

[Mike Mahardy]

The first half was correct. But no, he asked Sydney Sweeney specifically to look for the spider. Just one person.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay, well, you might have said that behind him. That are distracted by a koala.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, well, then he wasn't lying about him pulling his asshole open and asking if a spider's inside, because that part sounded crazy.

[Mike Mahardy]

They don't show the goats, so you see it from the front, but.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, but it's implied that he's pulling his open.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. Sydney Sweeney's up in his shelf.

[Dan Reichert]

Wow. Okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

That's wild.

[Mike Mahardy]

They. They just. Yeah, they want to, those two, to not have their clothes on as often as possible.

[Mary Kish]

It does seem like somebody lied to you to make you believe that. And it is funny that it is technically true.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, I think he told me the truth about that. That sounds. That sounds crazy. He said it was a good plane movie.

[Mary Kish]

I started that film and I could not finish it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Really.

[Mary Kish]

I thought it was grade A dog shit. I quit within 20 minutes. I mean, it is bad. I'm just gonna say it. It's a fucking bad film. I don't care.

[Mike Mahardy]

I was hoping it would be more on, like, the fun, kind of funny rom com side, because we picked it because we didn't really want to watch anything. And then we're like, I guess we'll watch this. But halfway through, it got really cringy and, like, saccharine. Like, speeches to each other about love and, like, all right, this is not what I was.

[Mary Kish]

It's just a mess. I have a low bar for rom coms where it's like, yeah, the writing's gonna be great, and it's going to be kind of kitschy and, you know, garbage, because it's about people falling in love and all that crap. But, like, just the way they wrote these characters is so unbelievable. And a part of me was a little nervous because I've always been a believer that Sydney Sweeney was, like, excellent in Euphoria. This was the first time I've ever seen her, and I've been like, did you, like, forget how to act? Did you forget how you do it? Because that is.

[Dan Reichert]

Does she just have, like, one speed?

[Mary Kish]

It just doesn't make sense. Like, her character is all over the place. It's weird how she's portrayed. Maybe it's just a badly written character.

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't know. She couldn't save it, I guess. Like, a lot of rom coms are contrived. This the beginning, the way they meet, and then how they get pissed at each other. Is so Amanda, like three quarters of the way in the movie, I think described it in a way I couldn't put my finger on. She's like, this movie feel is, like, very schizophrenic. I was like, yeah, it is. It's pretty all over the place and it stops at the beginning. It's entertaining, despite how odd and like, yeah, all over the place it is. But then later on it just becomes. I have no idea what tone you're going for. Like, I am a huge fan of the rom com. Sleeping with other People with Alison Brie and Jason Sudeikis. That's a quality rom com if you. If you're looking for a good one to watch. That's really good. Palm Springs, I think is good.

[Dan Reichert]

I like that one.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, well, no, sorry. Palm Springs, I know, is good. However, he also does that cheesy speech at the end, which I could have done without, but she kind of cuts him off. So it works. But yeah, anyone but you is. I agree. I didn't like it.

[Dan Reichert]

Every time romcoms come up, I'm scanning my brain to think if I've seen any, and then I always just wind up going to my letterbox and I think I've seen some, but they're, like, sneaky, you know? Like, you wouldn't know they're rom coms.

[Mike Mahardy]

We've had this exact.

[Dan Reichert]

I know, I know. And every time. That's what I'm saying. Every time it comes up, I'm like, have I seen any?

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

And then, yeah, I probably have.

[Mike Mahardy]

I probably mentioned sleep with other people before on this show, but it's a good movie, Mike.

[Dan Reichert]

If you said something on the show, I would remember it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. So I trust you to remember it.

[Mary Kish]

Yes, I'm sure it's a loaded statement.

[Dan Reichert]

Hey, have you seen all this? There's a lot going on now about raw dogging being a thing on flights. And I'm hearing it now. I was just hearing Jan just did a flight from Japan where he raw dogged the whole way. But raw dog, as it is used now in the media and colloquially is different than how I said it. I'm not taking credit for raw dogging. I'm just saying it's a weird thing that, what, six months ago or more, I was talking about raw dogging on flights.

[Mike Mahardy]

It was sooner than that. You said it not long before there was a GQ story about it that Luke Winky, the freelance games writer, was. Apparently he raw dogs flights. But not in the same way as you. It wasn't Weird that.

[Dan Reichert]

No, I saw zero instances of that being named that until like a month ago. Again, I'm not taking credit. I think it's a weird, but it's different. It's different the way I use the drum.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think Luke Winky listens to Fire Escape and. And he, he's just kind of. He's co oping a term that he didn't. He didn't invent. No, he didn't invent it. There's other people in that story that were using it like last year, but it's.

[Dan Reichert]

I hear of it in the news and stuff. As you're staring at the flight map and you're not doing anything. You're not doing anything, you're not drinking. Yeah. Which is not like I'm doing everything to try to just get through the flight. So I'm playing every game, I'm checking, I'm doing all sorts of shit. I'm eating, I'm drinking, I'm doing everything. So ride dogging to me is just sober, you know, not. Not doing anything. So.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, the way they describe it, it's like tantric meditation. They just stare at the flight screen and do nothing else. And I don't know, I have a hard time just staring at like what's happening. The other day I was tired enough where I was watching. I watched like an entire game download on Steam because I was exhausted.

[Dan Reichert]

And that was red Dead Redemption 2.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, it was, it was small. It was like four minutes. But like, I was like, man, that was. That further exhausted me to watch it. I just stared at the bar for the four and a half minutes it took. I can't imagine doing that for eight hours.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, I feel like if the intention is to get into like a meditative state, I guess that's admirable. But I think it's so weird that like, I don't hear about it from people that like meditate, you know, so it's not like, oh, this is like a test of my meditation ability. It's just like you're doing like an eight hour chunk of meditation at once. And like I meditate like 10 minutes a day, like 10, maybe 20 a day. And to me, the idea of doing several hours on a plane is crazy. And I meditate regularly. I can't imagine these people who don't meditate. They're just like, I'll just look at this thing for 10 hours and not do anything.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. A few people in that story I read were saying it's more of a masochistic thing. Like, when they finish the flight, they're like, wow, that was a workout. And then they're supposedly high energy when they land and good to go as opposed to shot. I don't know.

[Mary Kish]

I do think there's something to be said about boredom and how we're bored less than we used to be when we were children. You know, before we had phones all the time. Sometimes you didn't have anything to do for 30 minutes, and you had to sit there and look at your shoes. And if you tried to, like, run around or get up, your parents would yell at you, and you just had to sit there and deal with it. I think it's kind of good for you to be bored. And I like the idea to a degree that people are enjoying these flights without anything and allowing themselves to experience boredom. I think it allows your imagination to flourish a little bit. Right. If you always have media in front of you, you don't have to think about stuff. But when you got nothing but a blank screen, you probably get to think about all sorts of stuff. Your life, what you want to do in the next five to 10 years. People that you haven't thought about in a long time that you miss that maybe you should get back in touch with. All that stuff. Seems good. I think the way we describe raw dogging flights makes it sound like these people are psychopaths, but it's possible that they are just actually experiencing boredom and being alone in one of those, like, pure ways, which is like, I would just like to have six hours of uninterrupted thinking time.

[Dan Reichert]

I get that. I just feel like I would like it more. I feel like it'd be more effective to just incorporate that into a daily routine rather than every once in a while when you fly. Just do like, I'm going to get it all in at once. You know, I would feel like a regular habit of just being more mindful and not constantly distracted would be better, I think.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I mean, I think you're right. I think it would be better if you were actually practicing things and doing it regularly. I would rather do 10 minutes of meditation a day, like you do, or walk or work out, you know, for 30 minutes every day. But what ends up happening to a lot of people, I won't, like, specify what type, but I would say maybe a lot of men will just not do things that are good for them and then cram it all in in one day and be like, I've had six protein shakes and I've worked out four times, and now I'M healthy.

[Dan Reichert]

I did a thousand pushups and now I'm good.

[Mary Kish]

That's right. It's just like, it's more about being consistent. But if you've haven't done it in a while, then maybe you just kind of blow the cap and you have to, you have to have eight hours of thinking time and then do a thousand push ups and then have all of the vitamin C beverages that you can get your hands on. And then that's a year.

[Dan Reichert]

That's your riff. You don't have any anxiety anymore. You're just, you're good to go after that man. That would. If that's how it worked, I would do that all the time. Just like get in a few times a year. Just knock it all out. Like, yep, this is the day I'm just going to fix everything. That sounds great.

[Mary Kish]

The medical industry as we know it would collapse if the actual secret was just do it all on one random Tuesday.

[Dan Reichert]

Just shove it off holiday.

[Mary Kish]

As long as you do it on this day, it's kind of like what's that day? The movie where you can break the law and it's okay.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, Purge Day.

[Mary Kish]

It's like the Purge.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

One day where you get to cram all your pushups in and then it counts for the whole year.

[Dan Reichert]

It's like a rollover miles.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, yeah, we would love rollover miles.

[Dan Reichert]

Rollover push ups.

[Mike Mahardy]

I do those. Apparently the guy in the GQ article did a 21 hour flight from Bali to London.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, my God. Yeah, I have two European flights coming up, like back to back. And I'm fucking.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's generally how you get to and from somewhere.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, well, yeah, one's going there, one's coming back. No, it's like one of them's like one weekend and one of them I get back and then it's like five days later I'm back. And someone who does not travel internationally much. That is a daunting thought.

[Mike Mahardy]

But once you're right, once you're doing it, it's. It's the worst part lies in the anticipation. Once you're there, it's.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, should be okay. Yeah, I'm gonna try to try to raw dog. Well, I might. No, I'm going to try to medication instead of 12 beers. I think that's probably a healthier way to get there.

[Mary Kish]

Do you mean like sleeping medication?

[Dan Reichert]

I mean, Xanax. I mean, that's, that's. Yeah, yeah. I mean, which I guess could hopefully if it puts me to sleep. Hell yeah. That'd be Great.

[Mary Kish]

But you could take all of your Xanax at once, and then you won't have anxiety for the rest of your life.

[Dan Reichert]

You should be a doctor. Doctor on duty. I feel like you should legally say a disclaimer right now that you are not a doctor. And no one should take all of.

[Mary Kish]

Don't take all your Xanax, kids.

[Dan Reichert]

No, listen to your doctors, you ding dongs.

[Mike Mahardy]

I just go into the kitchen right now and chug every bottle of wine, and I'm like, I know wine.

[Dan Reichert]

You just get your. Somebody comes in with your license, though. For some reason, it's the weatherman who wakes you up. He also gives you your wine license.

[Mike Mahardy]

He puts the pin on my lapel that I'm sleeping with because I sleep in a jacket.

[Mary Kish]

You want to hear something?

[Mike Mahardy]

Yes. Always.

[Mary Kish]

When I was a teenager and I had bad skin and I would break out, I used to wish that I could have one pimple instead of, like, 40. That was just massive. Maybe on, like, in my scalp. That way people wouldn't know.

[Dan Reichert]

Now, is this, like, wishing to, like, on a star? Jesus. Who are you talking to here?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, like Jesus Christ Superstar.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. All right. Yeah. So you're asking Jesus, please give me one giant pimple.

[Mary Kish]

I would just be like, come on. Like, if. If you just put it all in one, I could get it over and.

[Mike Mahardy]

Done with that motherfucker.

[Mary Kish]

And I would pop it.

[Dan Reichert]

Like, the T1000 could just go into one spot and then you pop it. Actually, that'd be really satisfying.

[Mary Kish]

I know. That was kind of like my dream. That was my teenage dream as a kid. If I could only have all of my acne. Be one giant pimple, that would be really cool. God.

[Dan Reichert]

Cool is the word.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. But I remember wanting that and, like, thinking how neat that would be if I could just merge them all into one. And I think that's kind of like this conversation as well. Like, what other things? If you could just merge it into one, life would be so much better.

[Mike Mahardy]

My friends.

[Mary Kish]

Aw, that's so weird.

[Mike Mahardy]

I meant it as an insult. I just want one friend I have to worry about.

[Mary Kish]

Which part would you take of me?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, I see. It's like a robotron.

[Dan Reichert]

I think a Frankenstein sponsor.

[Mary Kish]

A Frankenstein is good. Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. Let's build a Frankenstein of our friends. Okay. Who's our friend? Frankenstein. Let's all work together to make a friend. Frankenstein.

[Mike Mahardy]

Frank and friend.

[Mary Kish]

You have to call it that.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary's Shelf Dan's cake. Mary's Riz.

[Dan Reichert]

It's just physical. It's physical. You can take a brain.

[Mike Mahardy]

Whose brain would I want in this monster?

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. And what are we doing? Why are we making this monster just to be a friend? It's not like, it's not trying to.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like be an astronaut as an insult like that. You are all just a lot to deal with. But I'm no easier.

[Mary Kish]

But if you take pieces of us, we're all perfect, right?

[Mike Mahardy]

Right. Whose brain? Who do I find? Like if it's just like if the goal is like, you know, a funny friend who I love hanging out with. But I also. We don't mind.

[Mary Kish]

I would do Mike's hair. I just think that's a really good head of hair.

[Dan Reichert]

Mike's hair.

[Mike Mahardy]

What? But who's. Okay, whose brain would you pick, Mary? Of any of your friends? Doesn't have to be people that we or the listeners know. Actually, yes, it does. That's more interesting.

[Mary Kish]

It is more interesting. I think Jan is a safe bet. What a great, just lovely. Michael Higham, maybe. Yeah, he's really fun to hang out with.

[Mike Mahardy]

Michael Hyams Fashion.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, that sounds good.

[Dan Reichert]

I would say Hanson and Minati. Good brains.

[Mike Mahardy]

You pick the two weirdest people.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, yeah, but they're interesting brains. That's why I picked them. I like a good interesting, weird brains.

[Mike Mahardy]

They're high maintenance.

[Mary Kish]

We're going to get a 6,5 blue eyed finance guy walking through Disney theme parks.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. All right, so can we settle on Jan's brain?

[Mike Mahardy]

Sure.

[Dan Reichert]

Are we all. We're all good with Jan's brain?

[Mike Mahardy]

Sure.

[Mary Kish]

Nobody has a bad thing to say about him.

[Dan Reichert]

I know. Okay, so we got Jan's brain. Okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

You could pick Mike and Ben, by the way. I was just giving them a hard time.

[Dan Reichert]

Mike's hair, Jan's brain. Anyone have really good vision?

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm 20.

[Dan Reichert]

Bonk has like 2020 vision. She's got great.

[Mike Mahardy]

Great. Last I checked, I was 2013. Oh, that was like two years ago.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, we already got your hair.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, sorry, you can't have it all.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay.

[Dan Reichert]

Anyone Jack that we know?

[Mary Kish]

I think Vinnie has a good wingspan.

[Mike Mahardy]

Are we designing a fighter or a friend? I'm thinking like, yeah, need a strong friend. It's not a body.

[Dan Reichert]

But if we pick them. Well, no, but then they can do it all. They can talk, they can be funny, they can. They can grab things. They can fight.

[Mike Mahardy]

If you get in trouble because Mary's gonna. Oh, Mary, wait. No, because you're intact. It's your friend. I'm just like. Yeah. When Mary gets in fights with these Jersey moms.

[Mary Kish]

Strong reach.

[Mike Mahardy]

Vinnie's arms could windmill her.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

My palate for sure.

[Dan Reichert]

Jake Decker is pretty tall. Do we want Decker's legs? He's pretty tall.

[Mary Kish]

They're pretty.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm just imagining this person. Someone, please, someone write in. Draw this. If any. If anybody listening knows all of these people.

[Mary Kish]

You know what Decker has? He's got good teeth.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, he does.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, so Decker's teeth. Anyone that we know that smells like their sense of smell is very good.

[Mike Mahardy]

My.

[Dan Reichert]

We got to get a nose.

[Mike Mahardy]

Who's got. Who's got.

[Mary Kish]

Stop suggesting yourself, Mike.

[Mike Mahardy]

Fuck.

[Dan Reichert]

I just had sinus surgery, so I should be all cleared up for the nose.

[Mary Kish]

No, you're an enigma. That you exist at all. Like, I'm not taking any.

[Dan Reichert]

You take something, you gotta take something from me.

[Mary Kish]

Taste, not scent, not sight.

[Mike Mahardy]

It sounds like Nicholas Cage and Moonstruck. You have to take something from me.

[Mary Kish]

How about your gamer prowess? Your fingers.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, yeah. Dance fingers.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, don't make it weird, Mike.

[Mike Mahardy]

She said it.

[Dan Reichert]

She was talking about gaming prowess.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, God, I want that Photoshop Denny's.

[Mary Kish]

Wingspan with your dirty fangs.

[Dan Reichert]

You're not dirty. You have a very clean verse.

[Mike Mahardy]

Whose legs? Whose legs?

[Dan Reichert]

I said Decker's legs. He's tall.

[Mary Kish]

They gotta be like, really nice gams.

[Dan Reichert]

What makes a nice gam?

[Mary Kish]

You know, sleek, but sleek.

[Dan Reichert]

Who's looking at the friend's legs this much?

[Mike Mahardy]

Dude, I have a notebook full of sketches.

[Dan Reichert]

I just know height. And Jake Decker's tall.

[Mike Mahardy]

But we already have his teeth. Do we want Jake's legs and someone else's teeth?

[Dan Reichert]

We can take someone else's teeth.

[Mary Kish]

Can we just. No, I like Jake's teeth. Let's get, like. Can we just cheat once? Can we get, like, Selma Hayek's legs?

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

With Vinny's arms and Dan's fingers.

[Dan Reichert]

Sure.

[Mike Mahardy]

Well, we need a torso.

[Dan Reichert]

If that's the case, we're definitely getting the scene from the movie where it starts panning up from the bottom and it's playing, like, sexy music while it shows the legs. And it's just this, like, crazy Frankenstein.

[Mary Kish]

She's so hot, though.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't think anyone's arguing that.

[Mary Kish]

Who's it again?

[Mike Mahardy]

What's the movie with her in the. In that maroon Dustel Dawn.

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, Tarantino is going full Tarantino with that. Tarantino's torso.

[Mike Mahardy]

His pudgy white torso.

[Mary Kish]

That is not a win.

[Dan Reichert]

The rocks torso with that, too.

[Mary Kish]

Don't we know anyone who's got, like, a good core?

[Dan Reichert]

Mike? You probably got you do sit ups and stuff?

[Mary Kish]

No, but we just. Hair. Stop taking perfect things from Mike.

[Mike Mahardy]

He's done all around a really good person.

[Mary Kish]

Why don't we take Mike's stupid, ugly ears?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, dude, these ears are tiny. You don't want these.

[Dan Reichert]

They're really tiny.

[Mike Mahardy]

They're real small.

[Dan Reichert]

You could fit like five of those in those headphones he's wearing. Oh.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, my ears.

[Mary Kish]

It's like his only. It's his only flaw. He's like this perfect man and he covers his little ears with his headphones so no one knows I wear these.

[Dan Reichert]

Chemical ears.

[Mary Kish]

Perfect little specimen. I just hate it.

[Mike Mahardy]

There's. I think there's footage somewhere. I don't know who would have had it saved. Maybe Jean. Lucy. We were getting ready, like warming up before a lobby episode, and Lucy was staring at me and she's like, holy shit, you have small ears. And I looked over, I was like, oh, my God, you have a long neck. And we both admit to both of those things, but we had never noticed about the other until that moment.

[Mary Kish]

Lucy.

[Mike Mahardy]

Lucy James neck.

[Dan Reichert]

All right, so we got Lucy's neck, Mike's ears.

[Mary Kish]

What about Tam's torso? He's got a nice torso.

[Dan Reichert]

Got the Tam torso. Let's split it up to abs and upper torso. So like pecs and abs.

[Mary Kish]

Well, then I would do Tam's abs and I would do like a big set of honkers.

[Mike Mahardy]

Who's got boobs, like, covered in tattoos that we know.

[Dan Reichert]

The Rock. Oh, I don't know anyone with tattooed boobs.

[Mike Mahardy]

I've got so many things swirling through my head right now that I'm like, no, we need to cut that. I don't want to make Jake cut this.

[Mary Kish]

We can't out any hot titties of games journalism.

[Mike Mahardy]

Whose pooper do we have have on this thing right now?

[Mary Kish]

I thought we said shelf, didn't we? We don't have anybody's butt.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, no, right. Salma Hayek's the butt. Was the butt included?

[Dan Reichert]

No, Salma Hayek, those are legs.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, we don't have. We don't have a dumper yet.

[Mary Kish]

Minati.

[Dan Reichert]

Minati butt.

[Mary Kish]

He's got a butt.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, no. Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It's not like he doesn't have a butt.

[Dan Reichert]

No, he's got one.

[Mary Kish]

He fills that. He fills that role.

[Dan Reichert]

But.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, wait. Okay, I got one. I've got one. So Tam's core and then Tim Turry's chest, you'll get a really, like, stark difference in hair color.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, yeah, that could be really nice.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

It'd be a good conversation piece. As long as they don't wear a shirt to the parties with loose.

[Dan Reichert]

What are we missing? What are we missing?

[Mike Mahardy]

Most of the.

[Dan Reichert]

You got my fingers. Does that include palms?

[Mary Kish]

Just the.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm not as much a fan of your palms as your fingers.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, okay, fair enough. They got kind of fucked up when I was doing Tyson speedrunning.

[Mike Mahardy]

What are grubs palms like?

[Dan Reichert]

Grubs. Grubs older than me. And he does speedrunning stuff too, so his are probably more up than mine.

[Mike Mahardy]

What? Grub's beard maybe would be nice. We don't really have much of the face on this. On this sucker yet.

[Mary Kish]

That sounds nice. Sorry. What if mine is on here?

[Dan Reichert]

Fighting spirit. I think we said.

[Mary Kish]

My panache. Not one physical attribute.

[Dan Reichert]

That's a gland or something. Right.

[Mary Kish]

My Abdullah amblangata.

[Dan Reichert]

What do you want to toss in?

[Mike Mahardy]

No, this is your friend. So you're intact as you are.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, I see. This is my best friend.

[Dan Reichert]

Wait, so you're just shaving your head, like the wig charity thing? Is that what you're doing for this.

[Mary Kish]

Mike's shaving his head and you have to cut off your fingers? Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, and you just get to be intact?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, because it's my best friend we're building.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, okay. That's fair.

[Mike Mahardy]

What else? Would you want to put all of X into one Y in your life?

[Mary Kish]

What?

[Mike Mahardy]

Like we're talking about. You were talking about putting all your pimples into one giant thing. All of our friends. What?

[Dan Reichert]

All of my beard hairs into one long hair.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, that's cool. That's really cool.

[Dan Reichert]

Mustache. Just one. That's really 30ft long.

[Mike Mahardy]

It would not stay in your face for longer than two seconds.

[Dan Reichert]

I'd protect it. I'd get, like, an acrylic protector I carried around in.

[Mike Mahardy]

You're laminating your one mustache hair.

[Mary Kish]

Jamie Pruitt, the world's greatest hand model, and you like one hair.

[Mike Mahardy]

The muscle.

[Dan Reichert]

I can roll it up like. No, no. You know, like the pull and peel Twizzlers. I could, like, kind of roll it up and put it in my mouth and just keep it there.

[Mike Mahardy]

Ew. I was gonna say. You're not gonna just rent out a second house down the street for it?

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. What if instead of long, we just put all the hairs together wide style, so it's just like a really thin one thick hair.

[Mary Kish]

That's gross.

[Dan Reichert]

It's like a pretzel stick of a hair.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I don't like it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Just have this gaping hole of fresh flesh Gross.

[Mary Kish]

I know.

[Dan Reichert]

All my teeth into one big tooth.

[Mary Kish]

Like with those cartoon babies.

[Dan Reichert]

It's like. You know when they make the big cheez its. It's like that. But teeth.

[Mary Kish]

How would you eat.

[Dan Reichert]

It would suck. Eyes. I can put them both together.

[Mary Kish]

That's not like a lot into a little. That's true.

[Dan Reichert]

That's not a lot. That's a two. That's just half. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I feel like that doesn't qualify.

[Mike Mahardy]

Freckles. All of my.

[Mary Kish]

I used to think about that too.

[Mike Mahardy]

All your eyelashes into one long eyelash. Hair that hangs down. And then all my eyelashes bottom into one long one that hangs down. So every time I blink, it's like.

[Dan Reichert]

What organs. One that does everything. Could you do that?

[Mike Mahardy]

That'd be sick.

[Dan Reichert]

Just one big orb in your torso that just does everything.

[Mary Kish]

Doctor, there's something wrong with my orb.

[Dan Reichert]

It's, like, pumping blood and shit. And.

[Mary Kish]

I got some really bad diarrhea hiccups.

[Dan Reichert]

All your peas in there with your blood. That would probably cause trouble for your orb.

[Mary Kish]

Is there something wrong with my orb?

[Dan Reichert]

I wish we just had an orb. It would make. There'd be less doctors. You have to see if there's a problem.

[Mike Mahardy]

You have a heart attack on the plane. Someone's like, God bless you.

[Dan Reichert]

Do we have an orb, doctor? Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Do we have an orb, doctor? On this flight.

[Dan Reichert]

I'd lobby for that.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, this has a nice oaky bouquet to it.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, God.

[Mike Mahardy]

A lot of complications that would arise. I. I think I like my numerous things on me. Aside from too many friends, I have too many friends.

[Mary Kish]

There's an actual. I have to look it up. You can kill them? Yeah, I can get rid of them. There's a horror movie where. Where somebody builds the perfect friend and kills a bunch of people and then takes parts of their bodies and then builds them into, like, one person.

[Dan Reichert]

That's Bicentennial man.

[Mike Mahardy]

Strangely similar to what we're.

[Mary Kish]

I know, and I can't as a spoiler, but it's got a really cool ending. Let me see if I can find it.

[Mike Mahardy]

What happens at the end?

[Mary Kish]

Well, it's a spoiler.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm not.

[Mike Mahardy]

I promise you, I'm not.

[Dan Reichert]

Is it weird science? That wasn't friend. That was to have sex with.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, this is Santa Claus 3 with Tim Allen. Post cocaine arrest.

[Mary Kish]

No. She builds a friend by killing people and then, like, ripping. And she's like, oh, wow, you have really nice arms. And so she cuts his arms off and puts them on the body.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mm.

[Mary Kish]

Let me see if I can find it. It's really good.

[Mike Mahardy]

I doubt you're gonna get that in the results. I think you're making it up.

[Mary Kish]

No, I swear. I saw it.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's a really. I know you think you do. I'm not saying you're making up to mess with us. I think you're just misremembering.

[Mary Kish]

My problem is, is Google usually solves it when I. When I say Google, Movie, girl, imaginary friend Builds killing, cuts off arms. And it didn't work out. But usually when I do that, Google actually knows what I want.

[Mike Mahardy]

There's an FBI ask AI.

[Dan Reichert]

Let's see. Do you have the windows thing that they force where it's AI stuff?

[Mary Kish]

No, I'm trying to avoid it.

[Mike Mahardy]

It sounds like a Nicholas Cage movie plot.

[Dan Reichert]

Siri, what's the movie where a girl chops off arms and stuff from other people to make a friend?

[Mary Kish]

May. What is it with May? M A Y.

[Dan Reichert]

Girl Next Door?

[Mary Kish]

No, it's wrong. It's May. May. I saw this years ago. This is old. It doesn't have a very good rating. And I think it's probably because it's kind of a freakish movie, but it's got a really cool concept, which is that she's like, I wish I had more friends. And then she just starts making one.

[Dan Reichert]

How did you come across this movie from 2002?

[Mary Kish]

I watch a lot of, like, horror movies. It's kind of my jam.

[Dan Reichert]

But do you just find them on TV or. Like, what drew you to this?

[Mary Kish]

God, I don't know. I think it. I think it was probably, like, horror movie of the time, and I just put it on.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, wow. Huh. What do you know?

[Mike Mahardy]

We watched a lot of horror movies, too. Because of our podcast. People were sending in recommendations.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

We ended up watching horror movies that still mess with me.

[Mary Kish]

Which one?

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, it follows is good.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, it Follows doesn't mess with me. I rewatched that recently. I actually don't think it's as good as I thought it was. It's still decent. But the Borderlands, that UK horror movie, it was like, the first thing we watched for that.

[Dan Reichert]

You love claptrap.

[Mary Kish]

You cannot take my memory.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, the Borderlands, it's called something else. When it came here, but it's from the uk. It was like found footage. A guy, like, moves to a rural place in the UK and there's something wrong with the priest, and he's, like, trying to escape something. And the ending, one of the most horrifying things ever. And it reminds me of a part from. Nope, I Love. I thought Nope was really good. But there's a scene in Nope. I liked it.

[Dan Reichert]

A bun.

[Mike Mahardy]

I watched it again because I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was like, I like it a lot more. And there's one scene that reminds me of. Of the end of Borderlands. Basically, like when this huge thing you thought was something else actually ends up being something like, organic and specifically digestive. There's an ending in the Borderlands that's similar to that scene from Nope.

[Dan Reichert]

Will you see the Borderlands movie? No, Mary.

[Mary Kish]

The one about the game?

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I like Borderlands, the game. I probably won't. It might be a home theater type situation.

[Dan Reichert]

Sure.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh yeah, I'll do that.

[Mary Kish]

But I saw both Sonics and like, let me tell you, that second one really pushed it for me. And I still saw it.

[Dan Reichert]

Wait, like, it was not great?

[Mary Kish]

No, it's not great.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. I saw the first one. I thought it was like, by video game movie standards, fine.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

But yeah, I didn't see the second one.

[Mary Kish]

I saw both. I usually see video game movies, even if they're not good, just because, I don't know, just because I've probably interacted with that game at some point in some time, and it's fun to have it reenacted. It's kind of like. It's kind of like if you read a book and then they. They're like, we're making it into a kind of a B movie. And you're like, well, I read it, I gotta see it. And so you just kind of observe it, even if it's not gonna be great. What do you think is, like, the best video game movie that was ever made?

[Dan Reichert]

I mean. Well, a lot of people think the first Mortal Kombat, which would probably be mine. Although I mean, both in terms of success and quality, I think the Mario Brothers movie was a success. Like, I didn't think it was like, amazing or anything, but, like, for what it was.

[Mary Kish]

I didn't care for it, but I thought it was very well done. But it wasn't like my type of movie.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, it's like, you know, my favorite series or whatever, but it's not like I. I think they just did a good job with it as far as, like, the audience was mostly kids. I mean, it was true to those characters and series in a way that, like, the live action one certainly was not. So, like, I. I consider that a success in terms of video game movies. You know, other than that.

[Mary Kish]

What tv, all the Tomb Raiders.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't remember liking Those. But I also didn't like those games.

[Mike Mahardy]

Very different reasons.

[Mary Kish]

Those were so good.

[Dan Reichert]

Were they?

[Mary Kish]

She did like a flip on a ski do.

[Mike Mahardy]

What was the one with a Gerard Butler in it? And she's wearing like gamer. No, it's a Tomb Raider. She's wearing a silver spandex on the front.

[Dan Reichert]

That's the COVID of the poster for the first one.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Cradle of Life.

[Mike Mahardy]

Cradle of Life. Yes.

[Mary Kish]

She was so. Do you know they gave her a padded bra?

[Dan Reichert]

Really?

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

Huh.

[Mary Kish]

And she's got huge boobs. It's unnecessary. But they were like. You're Lara Croft. You better pump them up a notch.

[Dan Reichert]

It was 2003 or whatever.

[Mary Kish]

Sorry. Angelina Jolie. Angelina.

[Dan Reichert]

Can you make that?

[Mary Kish]

We need them a little bigger. Yeah. Unbelievable.

[Mike Mahardy]

Wait. Are you suggesting we're into pointy boobs in 2003?

[Dan Reichert]

I mean, did you play the first couple of Tomb Raider games? They were pointy boobs. I've heard.

[Mike Mahardy]

But those. Those were from the early.

[Mary Kish]

I wouldn't know. But my friends have told me. Who are perverts, may I add.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. My pervy friends were like, oh, yeah. Those boobs are pretty pointy. Oy.

[Mike Mahardy]

We should Docroft's Bedazzled era.

[Mary Kish]

Cone boobs on my friend. That's what I want.

[Dan Reichert]

You want the cone boobs?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. PlayStation 1. Tomb Raider boobs.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

It's my friend.

[Mike Mahardy]

I just had. I had an idea. A thought. It's really not an idea. It's just a fleeting image of Salma Hayek from Dusildon fighting Elizabeth Hurley from Bedazzled. I'm not sure. What if it's like a movie or a. Like a theatrical thing we put on. If we call it.

[Mary Kish]

This is a wet dream.

[Dan Reichert]

Special referee. Special referee. Xenia on a top.

[Mike Mahardy]

I like for some reason. It's a very vivid memory. I feel like I've gone back to it many times for a specific purpose. It would just be a good movie.

[Dan Reichert]

It would just be a good movie. We like cinema.

[Mike Mahardy]

It'll be a great movie.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Call up Denis Villeneuve.

[Dan Reichert]

He's.

[Mike Mahardy]

He's good.

[Dan Reichert]

Why would he be the guy?

[Mike Mahardy]

Because he's. Because it sounds art house and it looks arthouse in my head. It's hard to explain.

[Dan Reichert]

Sure, sure.

[Mike Mahardy]

Alex Garland could probably do it. Sophia Coppola would probably want to be on board. I would imagine. Who's the. Who's the. Greta. Greta. Actually, Greta has pitched something similar to me. So maybe she would want to.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, cool.

[Mike Mahardy]

She want to work on this with me. I would script it for sure. And be cinematographer and direct it.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Starred, produced, directed.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'd be the referee of the fight.

[Mary Kish]

Edited by Mike Mahardy.

[Mike Mahardy]

You want to talk about video games?

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Mike Mahardy]

So horny. Now.

[Mary Kish]

Guys, I don't know about you, but it is hot. It is the summer and I am looking for summer wine. I love a nice glass of wine in the summer. My biggest issue is how I'm going to find the type of wine that I want. Mike, how do you find good wine?

[Mike Mahardy]

First Leaf has been great for all three of us, I think. I tend to drink a lot of wine, but First Leaf's nice whether you know a lot about wine or whether you just want to get into it and test the waters. You can tell them the flavors you like and different kinds of food if it's your first time. And then you could sign up for a 6 or 12 bottle subscription. I myself am actually drinking a Grenache Blanc from pays DOC in Southern France right now. Not usually a varietal I go for, but this one's actually really good. My wife and I actually were both very impressed with it. Again, brought me off the beaten path. Super nice. Could be good for barbecue, some high alcohol, but it's good for the summer in general. Dan, tell Firescape listeners how they can get in on this action.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, if you like Mike's varietal or any other varietal, you can get wines to sip and share all summer long. With purSleaf. Go to tryperseleaf.com fire escape to sign up. You'll get your first six handpicked bottles for just $44.95. That's T R Y F I R S T l e a f.com fire escape try purse leaf.com fire escape I've.

[Mary Kish]

Played a lot of games.

[Mike Mahardy]

What have you played?

[Mary Kish]

Well, I am going to start by talking about Bow Path of the Teal Lotus, which is another Metroidvania, which is crazy. It's a good genre where it they're popping off this year. I remember talking to you about another one last episode. This one is more in the platforming space. I would compare it more to Orey because it's very much about platforming and then the, the benefits that you're getting for your character help you traverse faster and get to different areas. Double jump the dash. Very important you get those probably within the first three hours. It's beautiful. I would say it kind of looks like Okami, like a watercolor, animalistic space. It's very beautiful.

[Dan Reichert]

You know, one that does that really well. Have you played Hollow Knight?

[Mary Kish]

God damn it. This one. The thing is, like, you're such an ass. We know you're joking, but you forget every game. So it is quite possible that somewhere in the recesses of your brain you have forgotten that you played.

[Dan Reichert]

I wouldn't forget a masterpiece.

[Mary Kish]

I've always said it's a masterpiece anyway. Sorry. I have always said it's a masterpiece. You have just gotten on this train. You have just come to see me.

[Dan Reichert]

Check the tape. Check the tape. Sorry, go ahead.

[Mary Kish]

I can. It literally happened two weeks ago. The tape shows that I was right. Bo Path of the Teal Lotus is a Metroidvania platformer. It has really stunning artwork. Boss fights that are not easy. It's got some tough boss fights to it. And again, I would say Ori like, sequences where, let's say, a big wave of water is coming. And so you have to traverse all these sequences in real time with, like, really hardcore platforming. And if you lose, you die. And you have to start the entire scene over again. I've really enjoyed it. There's only been a couple times where I've not really been sure where I was supposed to go. It does not have all of the quality of life things that modern Metroidvanias have. You cannot take screenshots. You cannot mark your map, which I think is disappointing. But I think it does have really excellent design in the sense of character. Design is really beautiful. I love some of the different characters I'm interacting with. Like giant monkey with little kids. That's so cute. Really beautiful. Nine tailed foxes. It's a fascinating game. I do enjoy it and I'm planning on playing more of it. So. Bo Path of the Teal Lotus. For all the Metroidvania fans out there.

[Dan Reichert]

Do you think we're gonna get to a point where if a Metroidvania comes out and it doesn't have, you know, like, taking pictures or at least putting map markers down, it's gonna be seen as like, how the fuck did they fuck? Like, do you think it's gonna be that commonplace because of Prince of Persia and other games doing that so well?

[Mike Mahardy]

It's become.

[Mary Kish]

It's just come to be an expectation to me, because Prince of Persia was January as far as I'm.

[Dan Reichert]

Geez, it's crazy. That was this year.

[Mary Kish]

I know. And, you know, a lot of games are already cooked by this point, right? So they didn't know to put that in there. Just like how Hollow Knight really shaped a lot of modern games. But it took A couple years for that. For everyone to be like, oh, you got to have this stuff.

[Dan Reichert]

So just realize Hollow Knight was doing that map marker stuff. And, you know, I doubt it was the first, but I feel like when I've talked about that concept of like marking the map, I've always brought a breath of the wild and granted, very different games. You know, that was a big open world map thing, so I think that was a fairly different thing. But yeah, the marking the map thing. I'm trying to think pre Hollow Knight. Can you think of big examples, regardless of genre, where you could mark the map? Metroidvania open world.

[Mike Mahardy]

Not like custom waypoints, custom ones.

[Dan Reichert]

Not just. I know you can just set like a custom waypoint, like a gta and it'll like, your GPS will guide you. But like, I'm talking about more like, hey, you've got these different icons. You can put down, like Breath the Wild style, Hollow Knight style, you know.

[Mary Kish]

Right. Or like, there's a wall and I. I can't break it, but it looks breakable. So I'm gonna put a marker on my map that says like, can't get through but should eventually.

[Dan Reichert]

And it triggered thing. Yeah. Or like animal whale, where you can straight up write on the map at.

[Mary Kish]

A certain point, you know, like, I think that's genius. I wrote Dan sucks on my map. I.

[Dan Reichert]

No, you didn't.

[Mary Kish]

I did. I can show you. I did. I'll take a screenshot. I. I think this game has a lot of that. Those elements where you'll walk on the ground and the ground will shake. And I try to do like a ground pound and it doesn't move, but it's shaking. So it's like, I know I'm going to be able to eventually get through there, which is really exciting. It just has a lot of the elements of games that I like, and I can tell this is going to be one that I'm going to enjoy. It's visually very pretty. The music is nice. It's got some, like, some of my foibles with it is it's. It's got some rough combat where I don't think it's as meaty as modern combat systems where, you know, when you like slice something, you can feel that you're like kind of cutting through. This one just doesn't feel as smooth. But the platforming is.

[Dan Reichert]

That can hurt. Because, like, I remember I like the platforming in that Tales of Kinzaru Zao game and. But I remember thinking the combat was kind of like, okay, we Got some, like, arrow stuff, but like the melee stuff never felt that great. Especially like I. I consider Prince of Persia and now Hollow Knight, despite being several years old. Like, those games had, like, meaty combat that had some, like, real, you know, collision to it, you know.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it made you feel good. Oh, this game also has a. How would you call this? A badge system. Right. You know, in. In Metroid. Sorry. In Hollow Knight, you can get badges, but you only have so many slots, and certain badges take up more slots than other ones. So you have to be particular with which ones you take. This game is very similar. It'll have one where it'll be like, hey, you can heal faster and it'll heal more juice, but it takes all three of your slots. And so it's very precious. Whereas I picked one that extended the length of my sword, which is the most valuable, I feel like, of any badge ever.

[Dan Reichert]

You love that in Hollow Knight too.

[Mary Kish]

You talked about that specific one, the nail longer. Yeah, I love the. Anything that extends the reach of my weapon I think is worth gold. It's like the number one thing that I always do when I played the shooting game that you like. That looks like crap.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, Mini Shoot Adventures.

[Mary Kish]

Mini Shoot Adventures. The very first thing that we were. Well, what did it say about you then? The range of my weapon was the very first thing I upgraded all the way. It's so valuable before rate of fire.

[Dan Reichert]

Before power or any of that.

[Mary Kish]

100% anyway. I mean, there's really not that much more to say about it. It's pretty. It's very animal y. There's lots of different environments. I'm already in like a snow environment, which is pretty rad. Apparently it's hand drawn, which is amazing. I could absolutely see that because it's so pretty. Give it a shot.

[Dan Reichert]

Nice.

[Mike Mahardy]

What.

[Mary Kish]

What else am I playing?

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm. Well, you both have played. I'm so glad you're here.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, thank goodness you're here.

[Mike Mahardy]

Thank goodness you're here.

[Dan Reichert]

If. If you're listening to this when it comes out, I think you still got a day or two before the game comes out. That's why it was delayed a little bit. Today was so we could talk about this for embargo. Oh, my God, Mary. I gave you the heart, so I'll give you both the hard sell. Mary, you played it. I don't know if Mike did. Mike did you.

[Mike Mahardy]

When I. This is the first time I'm seeing the name of this game is on this Doc. What are you talking about?

[Dan Reichert]

This is just Rude. This is. Wow.

[Mike Mahardy]

You've talked about this game to us.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, my God. I've got screenshots. Listen. Okay. I had never heard of this game. And then I started hearing some chatter among Giant Bomb and there were some folks being like, hey, talking big on this game. And so I just kind of checked it out sight unseen. Immediately feeling I had on it when I booted it up. Is. It is the most British thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Mary, what do you agree?

[Mary Kish]

It is. It is. So it is absolute British comedy. Yes, it is kind of like peep show because they're always being very cheeky, even delicately dancing around sexual content. I'll give you an example. Very early in this game. I actually do not know what genre of game this is. I don't know what. Okay, it's. It's so odd. There's two buttons. It's. It's was walk around and hit smack.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, you.

[Mary Kish]

That's all you have.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't know if you have a name. You're a cool little dude. Your guy with a big head that walks around.

[Mary Kish]

I. You're small. You look like a lemon with legs. And I said, anyway, early on in the game, someone was like, I gotta get this lawn work done. And so I hit the mower. I immediately start mowing. A very funny sequence happens with this mower. I just think a lot of this stuff you have to experience to actually enjoy it. But very funny where you're like mowing and it's focusing on these flowers and the flowers are telling each other how much they love each other. And you're just kind of mowing closer and closer and closer to these flowers who are saying, I love you. And then you mow over one of them and just kill its, like, partner. And then I return the mower to the guy in the game and he goes, oh, you had a really good grip on that mower. I'll have to have it. Have to have you talk to my wife. And then it's just like, oh, I.

[Dan Reichert]

Don'T think I picked up on that.

[Mary Kish]

And I remember being like, what? Like the whole game makes you look around and be like, that was the sex thing, isn't it?

[Dan Reichert]

That's funny. I haven't thought of sex stuff at all with this game.

[Mary Kish]

It is. Oh, my God, there's so many sex jokes in this game. It blows my mind.

[Dan Reichert]

Like pies and stuff.

[Mike Mahardy]

Sweet summer child pies are very, very well, yes.

[Dan Reichert]

But I don't feel like it was overtly going for sexual Stuff. I thought it was just very British. Just like the game is, I guess it's kind of adventure game kind of platformer where you can't die. It's just like you're walking around as this dude and you're going to run into someone's like, oh, thank goodness you're here. Can you fix the store is all fucked up. Can you fix the store and you're just going around on the shelves punching stuff, basically, until it's fixed, or like, oh, I need to find these things. Or. There are a bunch of recurring bits that are funny on their own, but the animation style and the comedic timing on everything is unmatched. Like, I couldn't do it justice, like trying to explain a joke or anything. I will say I think it's the funniest game I've ever played. I think I don't. I've said a lot how I don't think games in general to date have done comedy that well. I think some portal Hitman, but, like, Hitman's almost like a weird physical comedy. Hitman's got really funny NPC dialogue and stuff, too. Hitman's very funny. But, like, it's few and far between that. A game makes me laugh. This game, it's like three hours long. Played the whole thing in a hotel bed while I was in Kansas City. And I was just smiling and laughing to myself the entire time. It is such a joy. Just the dumb recurring bits. Like there's this little sad kid that's always sitting on a bench and he's always got, like a little pop. It's got a little sausage pop or a pasty pop or a weenie sausage. And whatever he calls it, it's all very British. And you go up and like.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

And your one way of, like, interacting with anything is just punching it. And so you punch him. And it always just makes the sausage thing just like splat in his face. And he's always like, no, he was so excited to eat it. And he was like, oh, my pasty pup.

[Mike Mahardy]

The fact that Mary is picking up on a lot of sexuality and Dan, you didn't get any of it makes me think it actually is really British because they're British. People are never forward about the sexuality.

[Dan Reichert]

I like British humor. I don't think it's a lot of sexual stuff. There might be some.

[Mary Kish]

There's a lot. It's subtle, I think good homework then, Mike, is for you to play it and count how many sexual things are.

[Mike Mahardy]

Because there's horny all the time.

[Mary Kish]

There's a lot in it, but it's not overt. It's kind of like that one. I think that one is a good example with the mower. He's like, you're gonna have to talk to my wife. Which is just like. We all know what that means. But it wasn't literal the way he was saying it. It's very casual the way these references are sprinkled in. This one's not sexual, but I also. I laughed out loud a lot playing this game. And another one was, I went all the way down a well and I'm at the bottom and a little worm comes out. And he just starts talking about his life. Hey, I'm a worm family. And there's something you might not know about us worms, but Dan, we hate Pearson.

[Mike Mahardy]

In the description on Steam, the town's colorful inhabitants are brought to life with vibrant hand drawn animation, fully voiced dialogue, and wall to wall double entendres.

[Dan Reichert]

I'll have to play it again, but it's like the recurring bits are like you fall down a fireplace chute and, like, get soot everywhere. That's not a sex thing.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, my God. There's actually.

[Mike Mahardy]

I just like that they said they, like, specifically pointed it out in the wall.

[Mary Kish]

It is filled with double entent. It is filled with double entendres. And there's even a scene where characters are doing it when it's just not on camera.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, is it when you're, like, going around, you're like, outside windows.

[Mary Kish]

You're outside a window.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, I beg. Okay, okay. Also, it's entirely possible I just forgot a lot of this game and I probably picked up on it when it does. I'm a smart guy. Right?

[Mary Kish]

You're just not present.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dan, Wait, let me. Let me ask you.

[Mary Kish]

I wonder how many times you've been hit on Dan. And she's been like, but you go back to my place, if you know what I mean. He's like, I don't really know about that. Let me give you my place.

[Dan Reichert]

I will give you exhibit A and exhibit B. My first date and my first kiss. And you can tell me if your hypothesis is correct. First date, I'm 14. I go to see what dreams may come. The one about Robin Williams going to hell in heaven. I've been there with Elizabeth. She asked me out. I've never kissed anyone. I've never been on a date. I'm staring straight ahead. I'm raw, dogging what dreams may come. I'm just staring at the fucking screen because I'm so nervous about being on a date. She told me later that, like, I was trying to kiss you that entire movie. You had no idea? You wouldn't turn your head an inch and kiss me? I had no idea. First actual kiss. I'm 18. I go to see Minority Report with a girl, Rachel, in the dorms. I'm in college at this point. I'm driving back. It's at night after the movie. And we get back to the dorms, and she's like, hey, perfect. Park. Park a few rows back. And I was like, why?

[Mike Mahardy]

And she goes, well, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

And she's like, oh, yeah, just park a few. There's a spot right here. What are you talking about? I just. Like. It wasn't an argument, but I was like, I just don't understand the logic. I don't get it. And she's like, do you want to kiss or not?

[Mike Mahardy]

That's George Costanza. When the girl asks him up to her apartment when he's dropping her off, she's like, do you want. It's. You want some coffee? He's like, ah, no, it's midnight. I would never sleep, I guess.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

She's like, okay, all right.

[Dan Reichert]

Maybe I'll play it again and I'll look for sex stuff.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dan, I have to ask. It's been throwing me off all night. When did you start looking at the camera?

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, I was wondering if you were. You're a very astute observer here.

[Mike Mahardy]

I really dislike when people do that. And I was like, I don't think Dan usually does this.

[Dan Reichert]

No, I got a teleprompter.

[Mike Mahardy]

While Mary was talking about.

[Mary Kish]

Teleprompter?

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah. It's Elgato, but got it for my birthday. I was telling Mary, my mom got me this really nice bottle of whiskey and a Teleprompter. So it's.

[Mike Mahardy]

What do you use the teleprompter for?

[Dan Reichert]

Well, because, like, right now, the reason is I switched the windows around during the break, and that's why you're just noticing it. So I'm looking at you right now. I'm looking directly at you two.

[Mike Mahardy]

But, I mean, I'm seeing you, but.

[Dan Reichert]

It'S the camera's behind the glass. So, like, looking at the camera and you.

[Mike Mahardy]

Well, Mary was talking about Beau. I was like, oh, God. Dan became one of those people. I hate that.

[Dan Reichert]

Wait, hang on.

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't know. It's just funny because. Oh, no, no. It'd be. It's. Oh, you're.

[Dan Reichert]

Do you want me to change it?

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no, no, no, no, you're fine. It's just. It's someone I really dislike in the past. Did that all the time. You. I've probably talked about him before to you two. Not on the show. I was just like, oh, I don't. Was Dan always one of these people? Because a lot of people do it, and it doesn't bother me.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, you can put, like, your. Like, I can put my notes up there. I can put the cameras up there. I figure, like, during zoom calls and podcasts, I generally try to. Now put the cameras up there.

[Mary Kish]

Bothers me now. Like, I didn't think about it. Should I move?

[Dan Reichert]

I can put my notes up there.

[Mike Mahardy]

We'll pull the. The patrons, see if they're like, what is he doing?

[Mary Kish]

I took a screenshot. I think you should see what it looks like.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm looking at it. I'm looking at the screen. Yes. Anyway, thank goodness you're here. Mary. Did you beat.

[Mary Kish]

Yes, I rolled credits on it. It's only, like, three hours long.

[Dan Reichert]

Yep, Yep. It's a breezy thing. I beat it in, like, two sittings. It's also.

[Mary Kish]

It shouldn't be longer.

[Dan Reichert]

No, it is the perfect length.

[Mary Kish]

It's where it should be.

[Dan Reichert]

Yep. It's also, like, surreal. Like, not only is, like, the writing really funny and everything, but, like, it's surreal and weird in that, like, your weird little guy with. No, he doesn't talk. He doesn't have a name. You don't really know what he's doing. He's just kind of wandering around this British town. But sometimes he's, like, normal size, and he's, like, similar size to other people walking around the Times Square and everything. And then you, like, walk in to where this guy's fixing, like, a fish and chips thing, and it cuts to, like, inside, and you're like a tiny, tiny, tiny little guy, like, walking across the dude's belly as he's fixing the fish and chips machine. And it just, like. There's no explanation. It's just super surreal weirdness.

[Mary Kish]

Change sizes. You go through tubes, you go through tunnels, you go through pipes. At one point. It doesn't make any sense.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's all very evocative.

[Mary Kish]

It's surreal. Again, all euphemisms for the old in and out.

[Dan Reichert]

There is that store that closes because you jump up on, like. It's like, a food truck thing. And you jump up, and it's just a big ass in the window, and you punch the ass and the sign comes down and it says, like, closed due to Bum swaddling or something.

[Mary Kish]

It's like. I think it says closed due to slappy bum bum.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's right.

[Dan Reichert]

There's a lot of good signs in the background. Stuff like weird products in grocery stores and. Yeah. Oh, man. It's the aesthetic.

[Mike Mahardy]

Looks like British rural. Hey, Arnold. Like characters.

[Dan Reichert]

Wow. Wow. Yeah. Let me see how it looks in screenshots. I was. This went from a game I'd never heard of to like 30 minutes later. I was in love with this game. It's definitely going to be in my top 10 of the year, I think. And again, I, I go into games. If you told me it's a comedy game. And that's kind of the main thing it's got going for it. And it's also like, you know, it's. It's. I guess it's story based. It's not. Not. I guess I wouldn't call it. It's kind of dewy. You're just kind of going around interacting with stuff.

[Mary Kish]

It's very dewy. You're helping people with tasks. Right. Like the mowing of the lawn. That lady with the chip store, she's like, oh, I want to make me chippies, but the oil is broken and we don't have a spanner and so you gotta go find the wrench so that they can fix the chippy machine. And it's stupid. Like, none of this stuff is important or impactful, but it's funny. Like the whole thing is cheeky and oozing charm. It's. It feels great to play charm, but.

[Dan Reichert]

Also it gets weirdly dark too. Like there's the stuff with the meat and like there's parts that were. This is up kind of like, I appreciate it.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I, I think it's great. I do recommend it. I think right around the time it ends, I was like, all right, I've had it with this game. But like, you know, three hours, the.

[Dan Reichert]

Right amount of time in a way that like, I wasn't like bored by the end. I was just like, all right, you stuck the whole, like every part of that I enjoyed. And it ended. And I wasn't left being like, oh, I wish they had another couple hours. And I didn't think it overstated. It was welcome.

[Mary Kish]

I thought, how much is it? Do you know? I asked.

[Dan Reichert]

Good question.

[Mary Kish]

Three hour game is not always like the best sell for certain people, but I think about that. I think it's a fantastic experience and it's. To me, it's the equivalent of a good movie. Right. So it's Worth the cost of a movie to me.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, it's on Switch. Oh, that'd be a good Switch game. It's a great Steam deck game. I played it on that. Oh. Oh, you know what, here's a price for it. Let me see. Make sure this is right. Well, it just didn't load once I clicked it. It says here on the Google search thing it says 1699 on switch.

[Mary Kish]

Okay.

[Dan Reichert]

Doesn't that sound pretty good?

[Mary Kish]

It's the cost of a movie, you know, so I don't think that's bad. I would say yeah, it's a. It's a three hour experience. That's like the one thing to keep in mind. But I think it's fantastic.

[Dan Reichert]

Yes.

[Mike Mahardy]

The developers previous game is a free game also on Steam called the Good Time Garden.

[Dan Reichert]

Hmm.

[Mike Mahardy]

Look it up because it just is just like sexual organs. Well explore a throbbing.

[Mary Kish]

Not to Dan, that's just a garden.

[Dan Reichert]

Look, she said throbbing pink World. I think I'll get that.

[Mike Mahardy]

Sexual naked creatures that gather food for your friend. The shortstream experience. And then yeah, the video is pretty.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Dan played this game called the Birds and the Bees and he learned how to garden.

[Mike Mahardy]

Good Time Garden. It sounds like a Laszlo game. This is my Good Time Garden.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, this looks fucked up too, man. 2019 Good Time Garden. Interesting.

[Mike Mahardy]

Cole Supper is the developer.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, Cole Supper, also very British sounding name but yeah, yeah, huge, huge into it. Love it. Games can be funny.

[Mary Kish]

I think it's great. A very good. It felt like playing a modern cartoon.

[Dan Reichert]

Yep, yep. Or like just a great British comedy. You know, if you like Monty Python's the obvious one but you know, British humor.

[Mary Kish]

Good stuff.

[Mike Mahardy]

Bad. I've been playing. I played more Diablo 4. I got into like world tiers 3 and 4. That game's pacing is odd. I think I mentioned this but they don't really tell you that you can't go to World Tier 3 until you beat the story. Which I wish I knew because I was taking my time with it being an open world. I was taking my time with side stuff. I wish I had just plowed through the story and then gone back to clean everything up and gotten more experience for it at higher levels. I recommend people do that. I'm excited for that expansion. I think that game is in a great spot. Having a lot of fun with it. Progression wise, loot wise. It becomes a lot on World Tier 4. You're like finishing a challenge or going up in the battle pass or getting three new good pieces of loot that you're Going to equip every five minutes. So it becomes a lot and I something like thank goodness you're here. Sounds nice because Diablo 4 is definitely one of those games where I look back on like the past two hours I've spent playing it and like huh. I don't know if that was me enjoying a game or just continuing to play it because there was a drip feed of addictive things every five seconds. Whatever.

[Dan Reichert]

Anything sexual in that?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh yeah. Lilith herself is just all boobs and.

[Dan Reichert]

No, my shelf they call it put it.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's a.

[Mary Kish]

But put her on my best friend.

[Mike Mahardy]

Actually no shelf might be. Either way it was. Diablo 4 is in a good spot. Much better than it used to be. But I haven't played much outside of that.

[Dan Reichert]

I would like to try that more. I. You know, I did put it on my Steam deck at one point thinking like, oh, this on a flight. But it had to be like logged into BattleNet or whatever and it's like, well that sucks. That seems like that'd be an ideal game to play on a plane or something and just kill time. But yeah, having a lot. Well, planes have wifi now, but I think it just has to connect. But still just let me play it offline.

[Mike Mahardy]

I can't imagine Diablo 4 would run well on. On plain WI fi.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, if it just has to do like an online check, you know, it's.

[Mike Mahardy]

All I've seen bad rubber banding and then I had to reset my WIFI here. I don't know, maybe. Maybe you'd have good luck. No, because it's actually running. You're in. The world that you make your characters in is a server of X number of players.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

Because you can run into other players in the open world. So it's not just like Diablo 3, for instance, that just needs to check that you are in fact online.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, gotcha. Yeah, I'm curious. Check it out. You know you got codes for PS5 and I'd like to play it and it's just things are actually kind of starting to come out now. So once. Once there's a dearth, then I do want to check it out.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, things are picking up. But I agree. I really enjoyed it when it came out and I. I dropped off and I'd like to get back into it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary, you're. Is this blued blood?

[Mary Kish]

I've been calling it blood spelled B l u d blued 90s cartoon style game. Dungeon crawler is probably how I would describe it. You're a girl in school and you find out that you're a vampire hunter of sorts and you start killing creatures of the night with a lot of the tools that a schoolgirl would have, like pencils. You throw the pencil like a, like a dagger and if you can get them in the heart, you can take out vampires that way. It's pretty neat, but it has a lot of really cheeky charm as well. The entire game is very phone focused and you get all of your tasks through a social media app. You also take selfies throughout the game and they have pre made reactions in your selfie. So when you take a selfie like with your friend or maybe in front of a fountain or something, you can be like smiling and cute. You can make a silly face. You could be like really upset or disgusted or make a puke face. It's kind of cute. And, and I think ultimately this is a very cheeky, very funny game where you are solving a town crisis that's being overrun by vampires and you're essentially trying to kill them and figure out what's causing all of this. It's a bit unfortunate that I don't think that combat is that enjoyable to me. I think it's a bit simplistic. There's really not a lot of progression in it. And I also found myself just getting frustrated sometimes with the same enemies coming at me in the same ways again and again and again. But I played through the whole damn thing. I, I burned through this game on a flight. I loved it. I, I really did like the story arc and going to school every day, solving puzzles with my best friend and figuring out how I was going to take down the main vampire demon God. And it ended up having like a pretty satisfying ending when I was able to like finally take him out. It's a, it's a cute game. It has some really incredible animation sequences. Like, watch the opening animation. You'll be like, what the hell? Like, where did this come from? It surprised me.

[Dan Reichert]

I was just looking at some images and GIFs here and yeah, it reminds me of that like maybe like 2000 style of like Nickelodeon, like fairly odd parents type stuff. And something about the setting and everything reminds me of that. Remember they made that Scott Pilgrim game?

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. It kind of just brought me back to that a little bit, so.

[Mary Kish]

But it reminds me of Dexter's Laboratory.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

That's what I.

[Dan Reichert]

Cartoon Network. Yeah, yeah. Because I think of that as like, you know, that era was kind of like beyond my. You know, like my sisters watched that. They were younger and I remember thinking like, when I look at that art style. It reminds me of, like the cartoons my sisters would watch on like Cartoon Network or Fairly Oddparents and all that stuff.

[Mary Kish]

It's got style for days. It's very good. I. I just really thought it was so cheeky and funny and I liked the conversations that took place in it. It is young. I would say this is like a younger, focused game, maybe for like younger audiences, just the way that it's presented, but as long as you're okay with that, it's an enjoyable, simple, cutesy story that I completely. I poured myself into it over like a six and a half, seven hour flight and I was like, that was great. What a good use of time. I liked it. When I finished it, there's a really crazy bus sequence that I. It's just all animated and it's wild that they animated all these cutscenes the way that they did. I. I thought they put a lot of time and energy into making the animations as fluid and as smooth as they made it. So to me, that made up for the fact that I did not care for the combat system. And every once in a while I thought one of the puzzles was dumb, but generally I thought that was quite good. That's blood.

[Dan Reichert]

B L U D Mary, remind me. I've been thinking about Dungeons of Hinterberg for the last like week or two and I was like, yeah, I'm on so many fucking podcasts and, you know, like, I talked to Bonk all the time about games and sometimes I forget where somebody recommended something. Were you talking about Dungeons of Hinderburg?

[Mary Kish]

No.

[Dan Reichert]

God damn it. I thought it must have been you who the fuck was telling me about this game. Because I note to myself to play it. I downloaded it and now I'm trying to remember who the fuck told me to play it. And yeah, I don't know if I'd like it or not. Have you played it?

[Mary Kish]

I have never heard of this game. The fuck was talking about it because.

[Dan Reichert]

It seemed like a merry game. Like when I downloaded it and looked at images and stuff like that, I saw indie. This seems like a merry game.

[Mary Kish]

Look like a merry game. Yeah, it's cool. Like, you're like skating. You're like a little skater chick.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, I heard it's got a really good style. It's got these like Zelda style dungeons. Like, I want to check it out. Cannot remember who the fuck. Suddenly I was right in a weird way that it was a merry game. You just didn't know about it yet.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, it's like.

[Mary Kish]

It is.

[Mike Mahardy]

What was that Open world desert scavenger game with Japanese Breakfast soundtrack from two years ago. Very Japanese breakfast. She did the soundtrack for it.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't know what that is.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary, I feel like you should know this. Japanese Breakfast is the artist she did the soundtrack for. It was like kind of quiet, meditative, open world game where you're a scavenger, but you're like. You get a hover bike. I think it was two years ago.

[Dan Reichert]

Not Sable. Sable, yes, it was a sable.

[Mary Kish]

Okay, I remember sable.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, Sable. Yeah, Japanese.

[Mary Kish]

That game was beautiful.

[Mike Mahardy]

That looks similar to like that cel shaded third person of sable that Dungeons of Hinterburg does. That is.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, Mary, should we both try to play this before next time?

[Mary Kish]

Sure.

[Dan Reichert]

I think this would be. This seems like something we might both like.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, this does seem like something I would like.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. My SummerSlam flight. I'll play this. Okay, great.

[Mary Kish]

Easy, easy. What else, Dan? What are you playing? NES World Championship.

[Dan Reichert]

This is the most me old man shit imaginable. And it's for me and it's hitting with me and it's. Yeah, it's. I don't. I could. Not if you didn't grow up with it. I don't think you care. I think if you don't care about speedrunning and you didn't grow up with any of stuff, I. It seems like a hard sell to me. But for guys like me and Grub and Minati who very much grew up playing this stuff, we are obsessed with this game despite the inexplicable. You've heard of the leaderboard thing?

[Mary Kish]

No.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, God. Okay, so get this. It's like, you know, over a hundred challenges, like little mini challenges of NES games, you know, Zelda, Mario, you know, how fast can you get the mushroom type stuff? There's no fucking leaderboards in the Speedrun game. It's about. It's called the NES World Championships. There are no leader. There are weekly leaderboards for specific challenges. No friends leaderboard, so you can't see how your times go up against your friends or anything. So we're taking pictures of our Switch screens and tweeting them to each other or discording to each other. That's how we have to track who's winning or whatever. It's just the most Nintendo shit ever where it's like you have this idea where it's just so obvious that they show the reveal trailer and everyone's like, oh, that's gonna be great. That'll be great for leaderboards. We'll get to like, we'll do a bunch of streams and stuff and compete with each other. No, it has none. None of that. So it's fun. I like seeing how fast I can beat Larry Koopa in Mario 3. But you know, if I get a world record sitting by myself, I have to fucking like videotape my thing with my phone and then upload it to YouTube and go to speedrun.com and upload, which I have. I'm not too good to do that. I'll do it.

[Mary Kish]

I'll do it.

[Dan Reichert]

I'll do it.

[Mary Kish]

I don't like it.

[Dan Reichert]

I do kind of like it, but I just wish it was in the fucking game and Nintendo understood how. Just how does something like this come through at like historically the most successful video game publisher and developer of all time and not one person's like, hey, maybe the thing about getting fast times, maybe we should have leaderboards in this. But it's just insane. And I don't know, it's also playing through a lot of these old games. It does reinforce some stuff I've always known of, like man, Kid Air, Chris always sucked. And then having realizations that like, oh, Excite Bike, despite the fact that everyone played it, is not that fun. Ice climbers always sucked. Kirby's overrated. But some of the stuff like Mario and everything, extremely timeless, especially Mario 3. The Zelda stuff's fun, but it's all just very first party stuff. You're not gonna. And even though it's first party doesn't have like punch out, it's missing a lot of obvious ones. There's no Contra, there's no Castlevania. Yeah, I'm sure it's a lot easier to like, hey, we've got Mario and Zelda and Balloon Fight. Let's just put that out, you know, instead of having to do all the like, well, let's talk to Konami, let's talk to Capcom, get Mega man and Castlevania and all this shit in there. Like that would have made this a million times better. But as it is, look, we're nostalgic dorks for this era. It's the shit we grew up on. So for a guy like me, I've been playing it obsessively for the last week. I mean I've probably made 5,000 attempts at various challenges. Like not exaggerating the number, but yeah, some, some huge mistakes there. And it's for a very specific audience, I would say.

[Mary Kish]

Do you recommend it?

[Dan Reichert]

If you are a 40 year old dude that started playing games on the NES. Yeah, it's for you.

[Mary Kish]

If you're a 40 year old mark walking around with a handful of cash being like, I don't like money. I wish I had a mediocre game that reminded me of the good old days.

[Dan Reichert]

It's a, it's a good game. It's a good video game.

[Mary Kish]

They half asked it and they stole your monies.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, that's classic Mary. Accusing devs of being lazy. Those lazy devs, that's your gimmick, Mary.

[Mike Mahardy]

Move on. All you ever do is on game developers.

[Dan Reichert]

Lazy devs. Oh, Puddles and Spider Man. These lazy devs.

[Mary Kish]

Those are the only ones who put in any of the backbone these days.

[Dan Reichert]

But yeah, I'm not recommending this game to you too.

[Mary Kish]

Flash game.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh yeah.

[Mary Kish]

This is the longest villain here.

[Mike Mahardy]

This is the. This is the longest my list of games that I need to catch up on has been in years.

[Dan Reichert]

Hit us with it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Go back to the top games to play. The operator cast Marshall over at Polygon wrote about it. You're kind. It's similar.

[Dan Reichert]

One operator for Metal of Honor.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, it's like a her story kind of thing where you're. I think it's like 90s or 80s. You. The game interface itself is someone's computer screen. 90s and you're like trying to solve like deep state CIA crime by zooming in on different suspects on different cameras and like going through this guy's files and his computer.

[Mary Kish]

Next.

[Mike Mahardy]

A ranger. A role puzzling adventure. I actually don't know what that is. I wrote it down though. Next.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, this Gong show with Mary here.

[Mike Mahardy]

Wait, where'd it go? To my laptop. Fanta Land late Lost in Phantom Land.

[Dan Reichert]

Like don't you want to wanna.

[Mike Mahardy]

Fantastic. Lost in Phantaland. It is described as into the Breach meets Final Fantasy Tactics. It's like a roguelike on a small board.

[Dan Reichert]

But. I'm sorry, what's the name of this?

[Mike Mahardy]

Lost in Fanta Land. One word.

[Dan Reichert]

Is it. Is it like Fanta?

[Mary Kish]

That could be up for worst title of the year.

[Mike Mahardy]

So apparently it's like Lost in Phantaline is a retro pixel style roguelike game that blends deck building and turn based tactics on a checkerboard. But it's like Final Fantasy Tactics vibes.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I'm going to put that on my Steam deck for flights.

[Mike Mahardy]

Of all people. Ken Levine was tweeting about it and I was like, oh damn, this game does sound sick.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, it does look cool.

[Dan Reichert]

Ooh, I want to play this. Oh, that. Yep, that. I Totally see the end of the breach.

[Mary Kish]

Next.

[Dan Reichert]

This looks so good.

[Mike Mahardy]

What the hell's fallen? Aces. Did we talk?

[Dan Reichert]

That's the Dave Usher game. It's the man, you know.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like noir kind of.

[Dan Reichert]

You know those guys.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still gotta play Crow Country.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, that's so good.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dungeons of Hinterburgs on there now.

[Mary Kish]

Okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

I still have not played the sniper game where you're going from guy to guy with the bullet.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, Children of the Damned or Children of the Damned.

[Mary Kish]

Children of the Sun.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Sun Corn.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's actually it. And animal. Well, I have not caught up on things. Anytime I play something I don't have, I. But my time to play games lately. Yeah, between my, my like vacation and then work, I'm playing other stuff specifically for work and then free time. I'm like, I'll play like an hour of Diablo because I can't start anything and really sink into it.

[Mary Kish]

I played Crow country again.

[Mike Mahardy]

I know, I saw that. I really need to play it. Tim Curry and I were talking about it.

[Mary Kish]

It's even better the second time. I want to say this because I don't think I expressed the first time I played Crow Country. I was like, this is great. It's really similar to Silent Hill and it's great for horror game enthusiasts because it's built very much in love of old horror games like Silent Hill. So old fans would love residential one and two. Correct. The thing I don't think I conveyed is I gave this to my 12 year old niece and she played through 90% of the game in two days. She did not stop playing this game. She's fucking addicted and she's very good at it. And what I recognize is this is not a game for us oldies that are like, wow, this reminds me of games of old that are really good. They don't make them like this no more. This is a modern take on a game style that is still fucking good to this day. And it has modern niceties that I appreciate that they did that I think help it be a more modern game. But it looks and has that vibe of a classic horror game. And she, she absolutely loved it. And it made me realize like this is, this is like goatee material. Like this is not just a game that I liked because I. Because I'm nostalgic. It's a very good game.

[Dan Reichert]

I think that's extremely telling what you're saying because like I have not played that. But I've just seen, you know, screenshots and a little Video of it and it's like oh, you know, of course my thought is like, oh, it's like you know, late 90s to rival horror. You saying that the gameplay is up to snuff to a degree that a young person today could find joy in it. Removed from nostalgia. Like I think that's a pretty awesome like serving two masters thing of like you can get the nostalgia hit. But also it's like a good game if you're a kid who doesn't give a about, you know, she know those games.

[Mary Kish]

She's never played any of that before but she's always told me that she likes harry but she's 12 and that's tough, right? Because I can't give her a really up game. Crow country is in there.

[Dan Reichert]

I bet she would just as much enjoy to do speedrun challenges on Kid Icarus. Right kids? You like Kid Icarus? She's got kid writing the name. It's for you.

[Mary Kish]

She would love the NES World championships.

[Dan Reichert]

No she would not.

[Mary Kish]

No she would not.

[Dan Reichert]

Cold ass games.

[Mary Kish]

This game really did it. Threads the needle. I understood the references and the appreciation of Old Resi and Silent Hills. She appreciated it because she was like, it's very scary. There's monsters that are coming at me. I don't have that much ammo. But the game is also very forgiving. When you run out of ammo, you can kick a machine and it'll give you like eight more bullets. You have to be very smart with how you use them.

[Dan Reichert]

That's why these kids today don't know how to work.

[Mary Kish]

They're forgiving. But it does have save systems and if you forget to save or you don't save in a while and you die. She lost progress and that was hard for her to handle. But I actually love as the aunt in this situation when she was like, oh man, I have to go backwards and do that again. I was like, yeah, but you know what to do now, don't you? And she was like, yeah, she like got back in. I, I've never felt more like a parent, like a proud parent than watching my niece play Crow country and just, just ultimately like by the end of it really own it and understand how she was going to get through all these monsters. And the game does get pretty intimidating, especially towards the end. And I was just so proud of her the way she got through it. So I'm buying it for her now. It's kind of like set her on a path I think where we're both like really stoked that she's going to start playing these scary games together.

[Dan Reichert]

It sounds like she's coddled and she's never going to get a job unless she knows how to use an ink ribbon to save.

[Mary Kish]

That's right. Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

She's going to make.

[Mary Kish]

I'm going to buy her Elden ring and tell her if she can't finish it, I'm never talking to her again.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yes, this. Okay, so the game, the other game I mentioned a role puzzling adventure. Looking at video of it now on Steam and it looks you're on these tiles like a Zelda esque kind of level layout. However, you're not moving your character technically. You're moving the tiles of the level to move your character across it. So you're picking up scissors to cut stuff and puzzle it.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, I see.

[Mike Mahardy]

Almost like Hyrule, that music game.

[Dan Reichert]

Crypt of the Necrodancer. Yeah, it's like, it reminds me. What the slide puzzles, you know, the like, grid. It's like three by three and you got to make it to, you know, a thing.

[Mike Mahardy]

Also, the description is find your way in a world of breezy, thoughtful puzzles along a charming journey of self discovery. I'm so sick of self discovery. I don't want. I don't give a.

[Dan Reichert]

Have you ever found self discovery in a video game?

[Mary Kish]

I don't care. I refuse to acknowledge it.

[Dan Reichert]

Same. Yes.

[Mary Kish]

You can't make me grow. I refuse.

[Dan Reichert]

Like learning something about yourself through a video game.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, I feel that that's about a character who is discovering herself on this.

[Mary Kish]

Like a coming of age film.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's a Bildungsroman. Yeah. What I just made. I'm joking. Yeah. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't need another character finding themselves.

[Dan Reichert]

No, I'm sick of it. And I don't need a game to teach me anything about myself either.

[Mike Mahardy]

I want characters. Rocket launchers.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

And big knives. Cops are chasing them in the woods.

[Dan Reichert]

Jump button.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I require a jump button.

[Dan Reichert]

I need numbers above things. Heads. Bars. Life bars.

[Mary Kish]

I want to be able to throw pencils and stab vampires through the heart.

[Dan Reichert]

Checkpoints.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no ink ribbons.

[Dan Reichert]

No anchor ribbons.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm gonna play crow country soon. I have it downloaded.

[Mary Kish]

That one. That one's up there for me. So I'm glad I got to talk about it again. And then the last one that I have to mention briefly, Dan, this one might be for you.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh.

[Mary Kish]

I'm gonna tell you things that I think you're gonna like about it. And then I'm gonna Tell you the things I don't think you're gonna like about it. And then ultimately I would like you to play it and tell me if I'm right or wrong.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

This game is very much like power wash simulator.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

But instead of cleaning, the world is completely in black and white and you are essentially a color gun. And you have to color the world in with like a washing style gun.

[Dan Reichert]

Like the unfinished swan.

[Mary Kish]

You play that kind of.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. I like that game.

[Mary Kish]

Great. The game is. Takes place in Montreal. I don't think that's a pro or a con. I went to Montreal.

[Dan Reichert]

It was nice. There were fireworks.

[Mike Mahardy]

Montreal is like the third best city on the planet.

[Dan Reichert]

There are so many good wrestlers from Canada. I'm pro Canada.

[Mary Kish]

It's very clean. You are an artiste and the world is in black and white. And as you color the spaces in your apartment or in the local area, everything that you color becomes a part of your Rolodex for you an artist to paint. So if I color like a cat and the sidewalk and a cone for, you know those orange cones for trap.

[Mike Mahardy]

Cones construction, just like unfinished swan.

[Mary Kish]

Now when I go to paint, I can pull up the bird and the traffic cone and the cat and I can make a painting out of them and it's my painting real quick.

[Dan Reichert]

I am looking at a video right now. I just want to make sure we said the name of the game. Okay, I'm looking at the video right now. I love the look of this. Is this watercolor? Is that kind of what.

[Mary Kish]

It's definitely watercolor style. It's simple at first. And I think you might like. Some people might be like, oh, this looks like an indie ass indie game. And I think it has those elements to it, but it's so fucking charming. So let me just give you the rest of the game loop. You paint the things that you've seen now that you can paint them. And then you take them to a cafe and you put them on the wall and people buy your art. And then you use the money to buy shit to build your apartment. And then I was like buying like nicer clothes and I was buying. I bought maple syrup because I'm in Montreal. I bought a hot dog. I bought a chair for my kitchen. I've just been decorating my apartment and making artwork for the locals and selling it in the cafe and. But it's extremely cozy and it's quite lovely.

[Dan Reichert]

Can you paint things? So is it like paint by the numbers where you have to do things a certain way or can you kind of paint whatever like, oh, I can make this apple blue, right?

[Mary Kish]

So you can alter stuff very significantly. What I really like about this game is they're 3D objects and you can change the position of them in every conceivable way. Size, the way that it, you know, whether it's looking right at you or whatever. And you can change the colors of them as far as I'm aware. And I could be wrong. I have not seen a freehand paintbrush, so I have not been able to like, literally paint like, sure, Mary rules suck it. I can't do that. But I can make really fun pieces of art with all the crap that I've found in the world. And I. And I can place it in any way and I can color it in lots of different ways. You earn things throughout the game. So in the very beginning, you pick one color on your palette, you get lots of shades of that color. And then to earn other colors, you have to find colors in the world, and then it, it adds to your palette.

[Dan Reichert]

You know, I think you're right. I think this is something I could enjoy. I, you know, in thinking about this, like, I think there is this. I don't know if you'd call it a genre, but the type of game where you are doing things that would seem mundane or time consuming, but you know, you're building towards something. I do really find the satisfaction in that. I think the two that come to mind immediately are you mentioned Power Wash Simulator and also unpacking. You know, if you describe these to people who don't play games, like, oh, yeah, you're just washing stuff off a car or whatever. You're. You're just unpacking boxes. It's like, what the. Or, you know, here it's like, well, you're kind of like painting things and stuff. It probably just sounds mundane, but I like that I get a lot of satisfaction out of it. I also love that like that type of game is, is the perfect. Like I've got something on the background, you know, I've got wrestling on the TV or I'm listening to a podcast or something, and then I'm just kind of playing this and zoning out or a plane game, you know, like, I think this shit really works for me. And do you think control wise, I assume you probably played with keyboard and mouse. Do you think it would work well for Steam Deck?

[Mary Kish]

I played it with a game pad, so I think you could play it with a Steam Deck, providing that it, it doesn't overload. Because I think When I downloaded, I was shocked that it was like nine gigs, which means obviously there's a lot of textures in this game or I don't play Twitch.

[Dan Reichert]

Sorry, sorry.

[Mary Kish]

But I played on a gamepad, so yes, you should. In theory, the control should work. It's just a matter of whether or not the Steam deck can handle it.

[Dan Reichert]

But even if it's kind of chunky, it's not like this is a platform or an action game where like, you know, like input, you know, like if.

[Mary Kish]

It chugs a little bit, I suspect it'll be fine.

[Dan Reichert]

Do you have you messed with that setting on the Steam deck? I have found this to be a lifesaver. That TDP setting.

[Mary Kish]

No.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh my God, this thing. Oh, it's a fucking lifesaver.

[Mary Kish]

I'm not playing like the Witcher or anything on my Steam deck. I'm always playing some like little indie darling.

[Dan Reichert]

Mary, this is extremely for you. It's something where it's like. I think it defaults if you hit the. Whatever the. It's not the same. I think it's the three dots on the right side, the one that pulls up the like Bluetooth settings and the power settings and all that. You go to the power settings, you scroll down and there's like a TDP setting. And I think it's defaulted to like 15. And so that's the thing where it's like you're trying to play cyberpunk or something. You wanted that 15. But the stuff you're playing, like, you know, if you're playing a little indie game, little tile based thing or I've done this a lot with Hollow Night. You can bring that down. You can kind of like, okay, this game, I'll bring it down to five and see how it runs. And if it runs perfectly great, keep it at 5. If it's chugging, you know, bump it up, give it a little more power, bring it to seven. You know, find the sweet spot where you don't feel like you're sacrificing any performance. And you will see on the estimated like power drain and stuff like that, like it will jump up by hours.

[Mary Kish]

Wow.

[Mike Mahardy]

You have the updated Steam deck too, though.

[Dan Reichert]

I do have the oled, but I, I check if you have the base model. I don't know if it's on that.

[Mary Kish]

Look.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no, no. I'm saying, isn't the battery life just inherently better also on the oled?

[Dan Reichert]

Well, it's a little better, yeah. But it's like if I'm playing Elden Ring on that thing at 15 TDP. I'm going to get two and a half hours maybe out of it, if that, you know. But you Elden Ring is not a good example because you wouldn't want to bump that down. But yeah, Hollow Knight. You know any of these like older games I'm playing Wind Waker, I'll bump it down to like seven or eight and you will like double your battery life life. It's awesome.

[Mary Kish]

That's good advice.

[Dan Reichert]

I will check this out. I'll download this for the same deck. I'm going to get lost in Pantaland. I'm going to get ETE and Dungeons of Hinterburg are on the short list for my flights coming up.

[Mike Mahardy]

Good. Mary, do you have anything else?

[Mary Kish]

I very briefly played a gachapon game. I don't know if anybody else played it. I think we all got little codes for it. It's very much like that. Oh God, I forget the name of it, but it's the one with the fruit and the fruits combine into bigger fruits. Roots.

[Dan Reichert]

Suica game.

[Mary Kish]

Suica. It's very much. It's. It's that, but it's gotcha ponds. And so you're combining them to get them to, you know, be the biggest gachapon that you can get.

[Mike Mahardy]

What is that?

[Dan Reichert]

I hear that term. What is gacha?

[Mary Kish]

Okay. In Japan, you know when you see all those things, you put a quarter in it and you.

[Dan Reichert]

Capsule toys stuff. Capsule toys.

[Mary Kish]

Capsule toys.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. Right.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like games like Genshin and Honkai Star Rail and Zenless Zone Zero. Embrace that and put that in digital form.

[Dan Reichert]

Is it basically loot boxes?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, because there's custom ones or rares or shinies.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

People will like turn the quarters to get the specialty ones.

[Mike Mahardy]

The difference being. And I might be butchering this a bit. The difference being with Gotcha, you know, a pool of potential things you can get of rarities. Yeah, no, I guess actually it is similar. Yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, bonkers gambling.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, well, it's. Well, you can also like buy the sets because like I saw a story about these Pikmin or no, I saw Brian Altano posted these Pikmin terrarium things they have in Japan and there's like six of them you can get. And Bonk was in Japan and I texted her, I was like, oh my God, if you see this, get it. And instead of like sitting at a gotcha machine and trying to get me all of them, she did find a place where just here's the box of all six of them. And like now they're doing. Nintendo is doing ones where it's like just the face buttons for all their consoles. So it's like here's just a circle keychain with the SNES buttons or here's the analog stick for the 64 or the buttons for the Gamecube. And now it's like I send that to Bonks. Like please look for this in Japan. So yeah, it's that like limited, limited batch, capsule, machine type stuff, right?

[Mary Kish]

Supply and demand, baby. Yeah. Okay, so that's what a Gachapon is. This game is more like the Suika game. I think it's probably ideal for kids. I actually wish I had it when I was with my nieces because just as much as I think my 12 year old would have loved Crow country and she did. I think that the five year old niece that I have would have loved Gachapon. It just seems like it lends itself to a younger audience. It's very colorful and cute. It has nice little like yay sound effects and stuff like that. It's. It's obviously for younger audiences, but it's adorable and it does its job. So I think it's probably great for kids.

[Dan Reichert]

Nice.

[Mike Mahardy]

Cool. All right. Bunch of stuff to add to my list, which is not getting any shorter.

[Dan Reichert]

Sure. Also, I have one dungeon left in Wind Waker and it's. It's still an incredible game.

[Mike Mahardy]

What's the last dungeon you gotta go?

[Dan Reichert]

It's like the Earth. I think I beat the Wind Temple and I'm going to the Earth Temple. I got the little leaf dude. I gotta go float around with him in the last dungeon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little Korok fella.

[Mary Kish]

Nice.

[Dan Reichert]

God, that game's so good. That's been one. I've been playing on planes too. And there's something about Wind Waker on planes where it's like, oh, this is a good just kind of journey.

[Mary Kish]

Shouldn't you play it on a boat?

[Dan Reichert]

I'm not on boats. You two are the ones on boats all the time. Time.

[Mary Kish]

Just saying.

[Dan Reichert]

I haven't been on a boat in a while.

[Mary Kish]

You. That's like not the right Zelda game for a plane.

[Dan Reichert]

I guess. Skyward Sword.

[Mary Kish]

But that's Skyward Sword would be the one to play in a.

[Dan Reichert]

But that one is not good. Really. It's fine. It's fine. I just don't want to get a boat.

[Mike Mahardy]

Tears of the Kingdom.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, if I could take a boat everywhere, take it to Europe. I would love to take a boat. But I'm sure It takes months or whatever. Or is that just wait as boat. It used to take months when it was like the Nina and the Pinta and stuff. But like if. Can you take a boat to Europe quick now?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, right. Technology must have been way since the Santa Maria, Dan.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, I don't think about boat science. Like they're still just privy to the. It's just the winds, right?

[Mary Kish]

I'll strap you to a rocket. We'll get you three ships. Five.

[Mike Mahardy]

The three ships you just mentioned were.

[Dan Reichert]

Nina to paint to the Santa Maria.

[Mike Mahardy]

Almost 600 years ago.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, right. But I look at it now and it's like. I'm sure they have motors and stuff. I'm sure it's better, but is it like twice as fast?

[Mike Mahardy]

It's more than twice. I know you can like. I. It's a matter of weeks. Not as long as it took Daniel.

[Mary Kish]

Like to sail across the ocean blue.

[Dan Reichert]

Weeks is still a lot longer.

[Mike Mahardy]

How long is a boat trip?

[Dan Reichert]

I mean it's gonna be longer than the like 8 hours or 10 hours.

[Mary Kish]

I gotta take soon each crossing game.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay, who is this guy?

[Mary Kish]

I don't know.

[Mike Mahardy]

A ship from New York to London.

[Mary Kish]

Is generally seven nights Columbus, if I think about it.

[Dan Reichert]

Seven nights. I wonder if I could expense a boat trip.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's the Atlantic.

[Dan Reichert]

Is it cheap to get a boat?

[Mike Mahardy]

No.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, and then once you get there, it's not like, you know, if you're going to like London, it's not like on the shore. You gotta like take a train or something. I'm not. I don't know how to figure that out.

[Mike Mahardy]

I mean, some cities are on the shore.

[Mary Kish]

Get out. Doesn't have to be London beach in Europe.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, it's a death stranding now. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Where am I?

[Dan Reichert]

Airports have taxis and stuff. Stuff. Do they have Ubers in Europe?

[Mike Mahardy]

Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. Lift.

[Mike Mahardy]

You've been to Europe before, haven't you?

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah. And I Ubered. Yeah, I've been several times. Yeah, but like only once in Uber times.

[Mike Mahardy]

I would. I think Uber is still more pervasive than lift. Okay, okay, but either one, I mean land and then press the button that says Uber and if you find Ubers, you're set. And then if you don't find. Press the button that says L. Lyft.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, that's right. I guess me and took an Uber to the airport. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah. They got Ubers in Europe. Yeah, they take Europe dollars though. You can't like. It'll translate it on the app though.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yep. You gonna be okay? In Germany.

[Mary Kish]

Oh.

[Dan Reichert]

Once I'm there, it's gonna be a bunch of people I know and stuff. That'll be good. And then it's just a flight. As soon as I'm done with the flight, it's just like, all right, let's just have fun in Germany.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. Wait, are you just doing Cologne for Gamescom?

[Dan Reichert]

And I got a little pit stop in England on the way back.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's the same trip. You're stopping in England and I've got.

[Dan Reichert]

An England trip before that trip. And then I come back and then I go to Germany and England.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay, I gotcha.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, England's not bad. From Minneapolis, it's gonna be seven hours.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, something like that. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's not bad. Tahitro or.

[Dan Reichert]

Yep, yep.

[Mike Mahardy]

Sick.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, I'll live.

[Mike Mahardy]

All right. You guys want to do emails?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay. As usual, you can write it to firescapecastmail.com questions, comments, thoughts, insights, Might ask. Might read your question. Vibes.

[Dan Reichert]

Good vibes.

[Mike Mahardy]

Might read your question on the air. Got a couple here. Usually try. Yeah. One game. One non game. Name. I'll read this first one because it was a response to something I said from France. And then whoever can take the second one. Greetings. My brother has been going to school at a seminary to become a priest, and one of the more seasoned fathers there gave him a bottle of Chartreuse as a gift. We shared a drink together during his most recent visit home. Mike, I was curious if you ever ended up tasting Chartreuse. The green variety. I was able to finally have a glass for myself, but was hit with immediate heartburn. I was wondering what your experience might have been with it and if you guys ever run into similar problems with cocktails, drinks, digestive heartburn, et cetera. I figured. I hate this. What are you doing?

[Dan Reichert]

You were talking. Go ahead.

[Mike Mahardy]

But listeners, Dan's just zoomed in very close and looking at me through the.

[Mary Kish]

Teleprompter, making us uncomfortable.

[Mike Mahardy]

Hey. Yes, I have. I brought back a bottle of. I brought back a bottle of green Chartreuse to. From Paris because it was €45 there, as opposed to like $100 here with a shortage. I also brought back like the super green variety, the delixer it looked. It's called, which is great. I'm going to hang on to that. It fortunately does not give me heartburn. However, one thing that it's. It's not really like a cocktail that messes with me, but I'm definitely getting more and more lactose intolerant, like by the week, which it's not fun because I can eat like. And I. And I'm starting to figure it out. I can eat like real cheese, like non heavily processed stuff. Ice cream, artificial stuff. Ice cream. Like shitty. Like the cheese. I don't know. I haven't tried frozen yogurt.

[Dan Reichert]

That's.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's. I'd be interested because I could do Greek yogurt. That's relatively fine. It's ice cream. Just almost immediately when I'm done with it, it hits me.

[Dan Reichert]

Is it shit or what happens? I don't really know. The. Is it burn?

[Mike Mahardy]

Stomach in general. It's just one of those things where you're like, I need to. Oh no, it's stomach and shitting. Yeah, okay.

[Dan Reichert]

But it's not like you swallow it and you shit right away.

[Mike Mahardy]

With ice cream, it happens quickly. If I wanted ice cream really badly, I would have to like plan afterward.

[Dan Reichert]

You just eat a pint on the toilet.

[Mary Kish]

Sometimes if I put human food near my dog's mouth, as he's like leaning into bite it, he farts.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's his body.

[Mary Kish]

Like his body is pre processing that he's about to get human food.

[Dan Reichert]

I love dogs. They're awesome.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, I'm gonna get it.

[Dan Reichert]

Let me get this out of the way now.

[Mary Kish]

Let me prefer you guys don't pre far fart.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I do.

[Mary Kish]

I pre post during pre, mid and post fart. It's all part of the process. He's just constantly farting.

[Mike Mahardy]

Anyway, Dale, thank you for that. I doubt you two want to talk about chartreuse or heartburn, but I just wanted to read that because I wanted to.

[Mary Kish]

I've never had heartburn. What's it like?

[Dan Reichert]

I've got it a few times. I don't get it a lot, which is surprising considering how much garbage I eat.

[Mike Mahardy]

It does suck when you get it though.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, like bloody. It's just. There's something very concerning. Anytime there is a feeling in your. Like, like under your sternum, you know, like where. That's where my heart goes. That's a very scary. Whether it's a gas bubble or a heartburn or something.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, mine, Mine. I get like acid reflux or I have gotten acid reflux like twice in my life and it fucking sucked. And I feel like I don't even remember. I don't think it was a matter.

[Mary Kish]

Of me eating acid.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yes, it does. It feels like stomach bile is just kind of like gurgling in your throat a little too much and you have to keep swallowing.

[Dan Reichert]

It's like, bubbly and hot and you can just feel the esophagus filled with this, like, bubbly. Yeah, it's not good.

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't even remember what. Like, I have not gotten it in the last four years for some reason. I think maybe I had just been sick and then I went back to, like, drinking too quickly. I really don't know. But I feel for people who get it a lot because holy shit, I would immediately. I would. Would I understand why people make a lot of money selling medicine for it.

[Dan Reichert]

I. I will get it where it's like, you know, I've eaten so much fast food in my life, but, like, you know, if I got a big ass thing at Taco Bell on Friday and had some leftovers the next morning, I'd be fine. But sometimes I'll do you know, to steal a phrase from Lucy James, a rat weekend where it's like I'm just bang, bang, bang. Just Taco Bell, McDonald's, Pizza Hut. Or, you know, like, I'm. I'm on the road and I'm just eating garbage. And after like, like two and a half, three days of just nonstop that. And then you throw some, like, drinking on there, I will start to get that thing on the last day where it's like, oh, my body is like yelling at me to like, eat a fruit. You idiot. What are you drink water. This is not good for you. Like, your body will tell you you.

[Mike Mahardy]

Go days without drinking water.

[Dan Reichert]

No, no, no, no, no. But I mean, like, your body will just clearly just be like, we need stuff that's good for us.

[Mary Kish]

Dan doesn't drink water. And then one day a year, he basically chugs like 8 gallons.

[Dan Reichert]

You know, I'm on the liquid depth right now.

[Mike Mahardy]

Or a cactus.

[Mary Kish]

That's not water.

[Dan Reichert]

Yes, they're both water.

[Mary Kish]

There's no hydration in prime. You are drinking chemicals.

[Dan Reichert]

No, there is. Look, I don't say what you will about prime the taste or whatever it is water. It is hydration.

[Mary Kish]

It is not water.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay? Hydration. Does Gatorade hydrate you?

[Mary Kish]

Is. Is.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yes, Gatorade hydrates Red Bull hydration.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't know. I've never had a Red Bull. I don't know anything about that.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, Red Bull's not hydrated.

[Dan Reichert]

Prime is. It does hydrate. It's like a sports drink. It's no different than like a Gatorade or something in that way. It's coconut water and like electrolytes and.

[Mary Kish]

No, it's like.

[Mike Mahardy]

Wait, wait, wait, Dan. Every time I search crime a New lawsuit comes up. The U.S. olympic, the U.S. olympic Committee sued Logan Paul's prime energy drink over. Oh, this is a copyright.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, that's fine. Copyright can't get you sick. No, it's a hydration thing and so it's liquid death. It's just water. It's seltzer water. That's not hydration. That's not water.

[Mike Mahardy]

It has seltzer does not really hydrate you all that much. What does Seltzer does not hydrate you all that much.

[Dan Reichert]

Liquid death is water.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's just water self hydrating. It doesn't hydrate you as much as water.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, I also drink a lot of just like shoot water in real water, you know, like.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yes, no. Yeah, Seltzer. Seltzer will hydrate you. You have to just drink more of it because it's so much of seltzer is just air.

[Dan Reichert]

I am for the first time in my life drinking more water and then also seltzer and hydration drinks than I am soda. You know, my entire life until now, I've drank way more soda than water. And lately I know sometimes it's in the form of a liquid death or a prime or something. Frequently I'd say I drink more just normal ass tap water than anything.

[Mike Mahardy]

The story you just told though did not paint this picture at all.

[Dan Reichert]

What part?

[Mike Mahardy]

You're just saying like how your body has to remind you after a few.

[Dan Reichert]

On a rat weekend. On a rat weekend, you know. Yeah. And then sometimes I'll super hydrate. I'll throw a liquid IV or something into a bottle of water. I had one of those before this podcast here because I know I'd be drinking. I'm good at hydration. You don't need to tell me about hydration. I'm more hydrated than you.

[Mike Mahardy]

I highly doubt that.

[Dan Reichert]

No. How much water are you in today?

[Mike Mahardy]

Constantly. Like probably a gallon and a half, two gallons.

[Dan Reichert]

I've had like three.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, you haven't.

[Dan Reichert]

I have. Wow. Mary's got three LaCroix. LaCroix good too.

[Mary Kish]

I love the seltzer or as we call it water.

[Dan Reichert]

The Lacroix every bit as water as liquid death is.

[Mary Kish]

You were. Wait, okay, yes.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no, no, no, I don't. Oh, I don't know, like if the water content's equivalent. Liquid death definitely has sugar that Lacroix does not have.

[Dan Reichert]

It has like a gram in one of those big ass cans.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's more than Lacroix. So I was right.

[Mary Kish]

Lacroix has no sugar.

[Dan Reichert]

Like a spin drip. It's Like. Like a spindrift with water.

[Mike Mahardy]

Natural sugars from the juice, though, or from the fruits. I'm pretty sure Liquid Death sugar is artificial stuff, whereas spindrift is actual. The, like, sugar from natural fruits that they add the juice in.

[Dan Reichert]

I should look this up.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dan, I can't believe you're arguing about.

[Mary Kish]

Nutrition with me on this water.

[Dan Reichert]

Let me see what blueberry Buzz Saw. Liquid Death. Let me see what that has. Or Green guillotine, Slaughterberry, Grim leaf, Rest in peach. Let's see.

[Mike Mahardy]

I love. I love Liquid Death. I don't, like, stock up on it, but when I'm at, like, game Studios, I have it, I chug it.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, have that now.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yes. Something like the west coast stock.

[Dan Reichert]

Nice. Very nice. Yeah, I don't see the.

[Mike Mahardy]

I like the mango a lot.

[Dan Reichert]

That's the mango chainsaw. That's. I had that. I was on a road trip. I just randomly grabbed it off the shelf at a gas station. I was like, oh, this stuff is really good.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's good.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, it's good.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm not on Liquid Death. I'm just saying it's definitely not. If you were drinking Lacroix, I would. If you had to pick one that is healthier, fair enough.

[Mary Kish]

Lacroix, by ultimately drink water, just drink freaking water.

[Dan Reichert]

But between. If I'm having Liquid Death in lieu of a Starry or a Fanta or something, it's a step up, right?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, yes, for sure. Okay. Yes. I was never arguing that. I was saying, like, Spindrift has sugar, but Spindrift sugar, I believe, is mostly from the actual, like, natural sugars from the fruit.

[Dan Reichert]

Fair enough. And also settle this, because I know Mike Minati is listening. We've been yelling at each other about Liquid Death on Giant Bomb as well. Minati thinks. He keeps calling, like, Affliction Water, Ed Hardy Water, stuff like that. He thinks it's unironic. The branding, it's clearly ironic. Like, there's interviews with the CEO where it's like, we wanted to come up with a dumbass name. It's just water. We called it Liquid Death. That's fucking stupid. It's self aware. Minati is like, no, it's like, Ed Hardy Water.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, it's absolutely self aware. The CEO is like the. There have been studies about how good the branding is for it and, like, how self aware it is. They. They nailed it. But no, they're not trying to be like, they don't think it's cool. Like, look at the names of them. It's they're all puns.

[Dan Reichert]

Yes. They're clearly supposed to be stupid. Yes. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

No.

[Dan Reichert]

What do you think of that, Mitch?

[Mike Mahardy]

I do think Dan is probably right.

[Dan Reichert]

Thanks.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Flash ptsd.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, I guess. Shutter went through my entire body.

[Dan Reichert]

It wasn't even you. Oh, just for all time sake, do you want to hear one?

[Mary Kish]

What's the next email?

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary, you want to read this one?

[Dan Reichert]

My dick.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary, do you want to read this one?

[Mary Kish]

Very happy to read that email. I was not being rude to you. Hi, fire escape. A common pain point for the gaming press. Is that.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The one above that from the one I had highlighted. The second email.

[Mary Kish]

You know I can't read. Hi, scrapers.

[Mike Mahardy]

Scapers. Let me now. Dan got his sinuses. Scrape. We're all scrapers.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Hi, scapers. I also played Ocarina of Time for the first time on 3DS a few years ago and thought it was fantastic. I really, I really saw why it was a big deal at the time. It's actually the only actual Zelda I've beaten, though. I've played parts of other handheld titles beforehand and if anything I have negative nostalgia towards the N64 having never owned one, but played it occasionally at a friend's house. So opposite question, I guess. What something you hadn't played at the time went back to recently and loved.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, this was a response.

[Mary Kish]

The subject line was Darian from Toronto.

[Mike Mahardy]

The subject line was Wes is wrong because Wes had told us he finally went back to Ocarina and said it didn't hold up last episode.

[Mary Kish]

So this is the opposite one of maybe you didn't like it so you.

[Dan Reichert]

Went back to and no, no, it's something you didn't even play.

[Mike Mahardy]

Missed. And then you went back and you loved it.

[Dan Reichert]

I would say. You know, I've mentioned before like the stuff like the PS2 era where I was too much of an adult to play kitty games and like stuff that I went back to with like Sly Cooper, Ratchet and Clank, Jak and Daxter. It turns out those are all really fucking good. And then another one I didn't play until it came out on Xbox Live Arcade years later was beyond good and evil. And like, I don't consider it like one of the all time greats or anything, but I remember thinking like, I'm glad I finally played this. And it does hold up. It's. It's. I mean granted this was 2009 when it got re released, but I remember back then being like, okay, I see why? This was well regarded.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. I don't think it holds up perfectly, but I absolutely understood the love for Final Fantasy 6 when I finally went back and played it in like 2000, 2016 or whenever I played it. Like, that was the first thing I played on the SNES Classic when I got it. I get why people like that. And I'm not really a Final Fantasy person, but I just was really into it at the time and I had no intention of playing it. But then I got the SNES Classic.

[Mary Kish]

I was late to the Half Life train. I don't think I knew about Half Life. I mean, it's already an old game, but I don't think I played it until like 2011, 2012. And that game came out way earlier than that. And it's the first one. Half Life 2.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, 2 is 04. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

And then I played Half Life and so I was kind of late to that series. And that was super worth finding out about later. I didn't really know anything about it, but turns out, what a good game. But that's one that I just didn't know. I didn't know it was a thing.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. There's also. Well, Mary, you played all the Resident Evils long after the fact. Most of them long after the fact.

[Mary Kish]

Not too shabby.

[Mike Mahardy]

They didn't. I'm trying to remember the ones that you said you loved, like, right after. I think you liked the first couple.

[Mary Kish]

I loved remake a lot. I liked two and three was very stressful, but I also enjoyed that three.

[Dan Reichert]

Which series?

[Mike Mahardy]

Nemesis. Resident Evil.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah. That three one's pretty weird.

[Mike Mahardy]

Anybody? That's. That's the game where I'm like, I used to be that person who swore that Nemesis was my favorite Resident Evil. And like that it still holds up and everything. And I went back watching Mary played again. And then even the remake of that, I think was still far inferior to Resident Evil 2 remake. Resident Evil 2 remake is so good. Yeah. Anyway, Resident Evil 3, Nemesis, code Veronica. You played zero. Zero is also worse than I remember. This is zero. This is answering last episode's question. Like, I forgot. Zero code Veronica, Nemesis. There are a lot of Resident 5, Resident Evil 5. There are a lot of Resident Evil games I went back to and realized they weren't as good as I remembered. But I love one and two.

[Dan Reichert]

The series is all over the place. And then you add the fact that they're all remade now, too, and those all have varying levels of quality. It's crazy. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Of the remakes, they've got A good. Pretty good track record with remakes.

[Mary Kish]

We gotta get back into it, Mike. We still owe.

[Mike Mahardy]

Well, one still. If you're talking the one remake, like. Oh, oh, two.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

That. They're three for four with really good remakes.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, shit. We do need to finish that. You're getting there. You're at the. You're. I think you're like an into the island. You did the first big fight on the island. So you're two hours in the end is.

[Mary Kish]

We. We gotta get. We gotta get that thing done. We're close, but I don't know.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm trying to remember anything else. I went back to. I was like, I get why people like this.

[Dan Reichert]

I. I never played Super Metroid until the. The Wii virtual console. And it's like, oh, okay, I see why that holds up.

[Mike Mahardy]

Well. Yeah, it's just the tough thing with games is that. That so much of it, like a game can be good for many reasons, but like Chrono Trigger, I remember going back to. And I liked it. But so many things, like games are really young still and they evolve really rapidly. They just don't age well.

[Dan Reichert]

Did you play the DS one? No, because I didn't play it on snes. But then I reviewed the DS one when it came out and I remember being like, ooh, quality of life stuff there.

[Mike Mahardy]

I played on, like, PS3 PlayStation Store or something.

[Dan Reichert]

I like the DS1 a lot. I thought Chrono Triggers, one of the rare, like, old JRPGs. I was like, oh, I get it. Yeah, this is good.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, I got it. Yeah, it was just like. Still, I don't know, like finding my way through that world. I didn't always feel like was as intuitive, but I don't know. Yeah, there's a bunch. Not all games. Not all games suck, but it's just like some age better than others. Ocarina of Time is a nice 2011 Vina Tendonia from La Pez Deriadita.

[Dan Reichert]

What I've always said.

[Mike Mahardy]

I know. You actually stole that from Dan. Dan, you want to read this last one from Arthur?

[Dan Reichert]

Sure. All right. Hi. Fire Escape. A common pain point for the gaming press is they have to compare things that have nothing to do with one another. Since you're all experienced games press people, I thought you could navigate these fraught comparisons. Questions. Could all three of you say, which one in each matchup is better than the other? Okay, let's go one at a time here. Super Mario Brothers three versus Cheese.

[Mike Mahardy]

Cheese.

[Mary Kish]

I mean, you kind of have to have cheese.

[Mike Mahardy]

I feel like a lot of these are. That one. I feel like he geared some of these towards specific people. That feels very assaulting. Dan Vibes.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, no, it's the first one.

[Mary Kish]

If it was gonna give a Cheese.

[Dan Reichert]

If it was Mario World versus Cheese, I might go with Mario World. I love Mario Brothers 3, but I'm gonna go with cheese. All right, so that's unanimous.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Cheese.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. Next up, the ability to breathe through your nose versus the ability to save your progress in video games, including but not limited to autosaves and cloud saves. I will say definitively I prefer the ability to breathe through my nose.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, I was gonna say, keep in mind, this is not a. Would you rather. This is what is better.

[Dan Reichert]

It is the ability to breathe through your nose. You don't know until they take it away and. Holy shit. Yes, I'm going with that.

[Mike Mahardy]

Unless maybe it is a. Would you rather. No. The next one feels like it's geared toward me, sort of.

[Dan Reichert]

Wait, so, okay, I guess. I guess it's kind of both, right? I mean, if you had to, like.

[Mike Mahardy]

Eliminate the other one. That's not what he said, though. He said, could you say which of the three which are the ones in the matchup below are better?

[Dan Reichert]

Sure, sure.

[Mary Kish]

But you can look at them the same way. Which is, like, which one would you be more willing to live without? And it's like, I gotta have cheese and I gotta be able to breathe through my nose. I just need those for quality of life. Because even if I'm playing a game and I'm like, what a great game. And I could save. If I can't breathe, my life sucks. Like, I got.

[Mike Mahardy]

Which. Pick one and the other. It's gone. So Super Mario Bros. Is out of the world.

[Mary Kish]

It doesn't.

[Dan Reichert]

All right. I've played it 800 times. I'm fine with that.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no. Okay. I guess at this point. Sure.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. You take it away now. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay. Sure. Yeah. Breathe through nose. I guess. But then every game we play from here on out, you can't.

[Dan Reichert]

That's gonna suck.

[Mike Mahardy]

But, hey, you know, including but not limited to Odysseys. Okay.

[Mary Kish]

Get good.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay.

[Dan Reichert]

All right. Mary, were you also nose?

[Mary Kish]

Yes. I have to.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, so we've been unanimous the whole time here. Okay. Alex Garland's filmography versus being warm. I'm gonna go with being warm. I love Alex Garland. But, like, I don't know, like, Devs was. Okay, let me look up his thing. There was that Men movie.

[Mary Kish]

Okay.

[Dan Reichert]

There was that Men movie that people didn't like. I haven't seen 28. Whatever. Later.

[Mike Mahardy]

You haven't seen 28 days later?

[Dan Reichert]

I have not.

[Mary Kish]

It's eight days later. Is.

[Mike Mahardy]

He didn't direct.

[Dan Reichert]

He didn't direct.

[Mike Mahardy]

He wrote it. He wrote that in Sunshine. And then he directed Annihilation. Amen. Civil War recently devs. Fantastic. He. He wrote that. I believe. I don't think he directed it.

[Dan Reichert]

I could be wrong. Does that count? Okay. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, sure.

[Dan Reichert]

Wow. Okay.

[Mary Kish]

What a bro. Anyway, I gotta be warm.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, it's warm.

[Mike Mahardy]

I love his movies, but, yeah, like, being warm.

[Dan Reichert]

We're over halfway through this, and we're unanimous. Dogs versus having. Having thumbs. It's ironic because dogs don't have thumbs.

[Mike Mahardy]

I know.

[Mary Kish]

I don't need thumbs. I'd be probably fine.

[Dan Reichert]

Can we get, like, medical intervention to get, like, a robot thumb or something?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, you get a little metal boy on the end of it.

[Dan Reichert]

We can do that. And my insurance covers it. I'm going with. I'm keeping dogs.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

You have robotic dogs.

[Dan Reichert]

No, that's not the same.

[Mary Kish]

No, they're not the same.

[Mike Mahardy]

How is it different than if you're replacing a thumb with a prosthetic?

[Mary Kish]

Because you can just do this, but you can't.

[Dan Reichert]

There's no robot gizmos out there.

[Mary Kish]

No, they're not psycho.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think they're. I think you underestimate your ability to get attached to a robot.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, even if that's true, like an actual warm, fuzzy, living dog, that's. That's the best thing out there, right?

[Mike Mahardy]

I think we'll replicate dogs pretty soon. I'm just being addicted.

[Dan Reichert]

You can never replicate how fucking weird dogs are. Dogs are extremely weird.

[Mike Mahardy]

Cats. I know what you're talking about. Like, they're.

[Mary Kish]

I'll throw them out there.

[Mike Mahardy]

All psychos. I would take dogs.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. I'll go.

[Mike Mahardy]

What, out the window?

[Mary Kish]

Your cats?

[Mike Mahardy]

You're gonna. You just threaten to throw my cats out the window? Yeah, Mary, I will beat your fucking skull until it's a pulp under my foot if you ever say that again, I swear to God. This is not a fake threat. I will fucking end you. And then I will stare Simon in the face and say, she's never coming back.

[Mary Kish]

He doesn't exist. He's a robot. Because you went with Thumbs, you piece of shit.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, I didn't go with Thumbs. I love dogs, too.

[Mary Kish]

If we have. If we have Thumbs and no dogs, I'm coming for your cats.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Mary Kish]

If I can't have my dog, you can't have your Cat. That's what I'm saying.

[Dan Reichert]

Sorry.

[Mary Kish]

I use my thumbs to squeeze out their eyes.

[Dan Reichert]

The God of war. L3, R3. Zeus. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

I went from 0 to 11 real quick there.

[Dan Reichert]

That was the most explicit death threat yet, and that's saying something.

[Mike Mahardy]

I see what happened. If I were to eliminate dogs, you would come for my cats. I see. No, I don't want to eliminate dogs. I was just, like, playing devil's advocate. I love dogs. We're close to getting one, but, like, oh, sorry. I got to cool down for a second.

[Dan Reichert]

You're going to pass out.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, I agree. I want to keep dogs.

[Dan Reichert]

We're unanimous. What do you know?

[Mary Kish]

The next one.

[Dan Reichert]

All right, baby.

[Mary Kish]

Blood versus.

[Dan Reichert]

He notes. I have both of them rated as five out of five on Letterboxd, and I'm very picky with my five out of fives on Letterboxd. It's McGruber. I love there Will Be Blood. That's one of the best movies I've ever seen. I've seen There Will Be Blood once or twice. I have seen McGruber over 50 times, I would say.

[Mike Mahardy]

So this is where this. This is where, like, the. The other one gets eliminated format doesn't really work because movies are like. I think it's easier to give up There Will Be Blood because you've already seen it enough times. More watchable.

[Mary Kish]

You don't. So to see There Will Be Blood again.

[Dan Reichert]

No, I need to see 50 more times.

[Mike Mahardy]

This is what I'm saying. I'm gonna make it up, I think, slightly more difficult. Imagine you've never seen either. Well, that's still McGruber.

[Dan Reichert]

It's still McGruber.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, but how would you know?

[Dan Reichert]

Because it's. I had an inkling.

[Mike Mahardy]

I love McGruber a lot, but I. If I'm just answering his question, I still think their Roy blood is better. I mean, it's apples and oranges. That's why he did it.

[Dan Reichert]

That's the point.

[Mike Mahardy]

I know, but I still think if I had to pick one, I would still pick There Will Be Blood.

[Dan Reichert]

I mean, it's weird to say MacGruber brought me more joy because I don't think joy is the point of There Will Be Blood at all.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what. That's the point.

[Dan Reichert]

If we're talking cinema like mastery, it's pretty obvious what the fucking answer is here, right? Yeah, but if we're talking something that has enriched my life so much for.

[Mike Mahardy]

So long, we don't watch There Will Be Blood in hotel rooms. During conferences.

[Dan Reichert]

That's true. I made Mary do that in a hotel during a conference a couple months ago.

[Mike Mahardy]

We did that at GDC or whatever it was PSX or something back in 2000.

[Dan Reichert]

We've done this many times. Yes.

[Mary Kish]

All right, here's a different one. MacGruber or eyebrows.

[Dan Reichert]

MacGruber. I can buy a Sharpie. It's fine.

[Mike Mahardy]

I like. My eyes are fucking bushy.

[Dan Reichert]

They're fine.

[Mary Kish]

I have my eyebrows, Dan.

[Mike Mahardy]

I could lend you some eyebrow hair.

[Dan Reichert]

Why do you need them? It's for keeping water out of your eyes. Right.

[Mike Mahardy]

Is that what that is?

[Dan Reichert]

I think so.

[Mary Kish]

I thought they were for looking cool.

[Mike Mahardy]

For double entendre.

[Mary Kish]

For being. For being surprised.

[Dan Reichert]

I mean, I don't think caveman. When we evolved, eyebrows were like, ooh, it's for facial expressions.

[Mary Kish]

Or.

[Mike Mahardy]

I mean, I think they were making facial expressions before they were speaking.

[Dan Reichert]

I think it was a survival thing. I think it's keeping the rain out of your eyes when a saber tooth tiger is coming after your ass. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like pubes are to keep your. Your bits warm, like at the right temperature to reproduce.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, is that it? Really? But they don't.

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't know. I'm not a evolutionary paleontologists or whatever you want to call them, but yeah, I believe, like, you know how. Okay. You know how when it's cold, your balls shrink up and go closer to body?

[Dan Reichert]

Yes.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's because you. Your testicles and the bit. The stuff they're in needs to stay warm so it goes closer to your body.

[Dan Reichert]

Tucks them in there. Man, bodies are fucking nuts. Why do they put them out there anyways? It's just too hot in there to be in there all the time.

[Mike Mahardy]

I have no idea. Well, you wouldn't be able to put it in something else if it was in your body.

[Dan Reichert]

But why are our balls outside of our bodies? Is what I'm saying is because it's just too warm in there.

[Mike Mahardy]

Ask.

[Mary Kish]

Well, the sphere inside of us doesn't really want to have the or.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary. It's called the orb. You're just sounding ridiculous.

[Dan Reichert]

Can't the balls just be in the orb? I want all. When I say organs, I want all organs to be in the orb, including balls.

[Mike Mahardy]

You've got your dick just floating around inside you.

[Dan Reichert]

I want my balls to be in my orb.

[Mike Mahardy]

I hate this stuff that you're saying so much more in this episode because you're looking me right in the eye. I don't.

[Dan Reichert]

I want my balls to be in my orb. Do you hear me?

[Mike Mahardy]

Are they floating? Or are they packed in there, like.

[Dan Reichert]

No, no, no, no. They're not separate. They're not separate in the orb system for human organs. It is. It's just the orb. It's not like, oh, we crammed an intestine in there. Oh, here's a lung.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay.

[Dan Reichert]

It's just the orb does all.

[Mike Mahardy]

Here's where. Here's where the evolutionary benefits of the orb fall short. Because how would you use an orb that. That's just inside you, that's one big thing. To reproduce with another human.

[Dan Reichert]

You're. You still have a dick.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay. But no balls.

[Dan Reichert]

The balls are in the orb. Don't get shot. Because if you get shot in the orb, you're super.

[Mike Mahardy]

It kills everything.

[Dan Reichert]

It's. All your organs got shot and punctured if they hit the orb to be protected by the orb.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's almost like the human body benefits specifically from having a separate.

[Dan Reichert]

So complicated in there. You got to go to all these different doctors. There's. You got a pancreas. You got a gallbladder.

[Mary Kish]

Many orb doctors out there. Dan.

[Dan Reichert]

There will be in this new future.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dan. Dan, with the orb, would be able to walk into a gynecologist office and be like, I have problems with my orb. I'm assuming you know how it works, because you know how.

[Dan Reichert]

No. It's removable. It's removal. You open up the chest, take the orb out, they knock you out. They do all whatever on the orb. You're just. You're. You're in a tube somewhere.

[Mary Kish]

Orb is in the chest, but it could absolutely be in your butt.

[Dan Reichert]

Wait, I'm picturing the orb is huge because I'm picturing the mass of all the different organs is the same size. Like, it's not like a little baseball. If it's like a baseball, put it in me. Put it in my ass.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, seriously, put it. Put a baseball in Dan's ass.

[Mary Kish]

Doctor. Do it.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm sick. Doctors. Put it in there.

[Mike Mahardy]

Go to a proctologist to have stuff put in you.

[Dan Reichert]

No, let's not be ridiculous. I think the orb would have to be the size of all the organs put together. Like in brain, too. Brain's an orb.

[Mike Mahardy]

And what's the point of the rest of your.

[Dan Reichert]

Are you just, like, organs?

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay, you're just describing, like, if you. Your body was Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc. It would all be just the orb and then a few limbs coming out of it.

[Dan Reichert]

You need the limbs because they do. They walk and grab and stuff. And the heads. It. You Just look all freaky if you didn't have a head. So we keep all that from the outside. Nothing's different.

[Mike Mahardy]

What's the point of your head if your brain is in the orb, though?

[Dan Reichert]

It's aesthetics and also, well, seeing.

[Mike Mahardy]

Are there tubes connected from the orb to your eye? How's your eye function?

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah, no, we're still. Don't be ridiculous. Like, you still got. You got a tongue, you got eyes. You know, it's like that's all. That's all connected to the orb.

[Mike Mahardy]

Tongue's not okay, because. Yeah, I guess that makes that.

[Dan Reichert]

Ears. You got ear drums. They're up there. Our eardrums are up there. Actually, if we can tuck the eardrums into the orb, then we don't have to worry about them being punctured. We just got to make sure you can hear through the ears.

[Mike Mahardy]

Still, I. I have a little. A little wrinkle I just thought of.

[Dan Reichert]

Huh?

[Mike Mahardy]

So the eyes, the tongue. Makes sense to not be in the orb because it's not an organ. It's a muscle.

[Dan Reichert]

Right.

[Mike Mahardy]

Nose, ears, cartilage, sinuses, whatever.

[Dan Reichert]

I think face is pretty much.

[Mike Mahardy]

You know what our biggest organ is, is our skin. So where would the skin be?

[Dan Reichert]

You're being ridiculous, Mike. The skin. From the outside, everything looks the same functionally. Inside, all organ functions are managed by the organization.

[Mike Mahardy]

What is the definition of an organ? Because now I'm thinking, like, are my eyes an organ?

[Dan Reichert]

Probably. But again, look, there are exceptions. The face stays pretty much the same.

[Mike Mahardy]

The eyes, organs. Yes, the eyes are sensory organs, part of the visual system. But why? What defines an organ is something that could, like, performs it.

[Dan Reichert]

It's just a thing in your body that does a thing.

[Mike Mahardy]

An organic collection of tissues that work together to form a specific function. So wood.

[Dan Reichert]

God, I hate thinking too much about the human body because I have one in. In one right now.

[Mike Mahardy]

Is the tongue and organ. The tongue is a muscular organ. Okay, I stand corrected. It is both.

[Mary Kish]

But it could have, like, a long stick going into the orb.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's like a long.

[Dan Reichert]

It's like a Kermit the Frog. Like the. The. You know, Frank Oz is down there.

[Mike Mahardy]

You gotta keep in mind, like, if. If you look at an actual cross section of the orb, it actually looks more like a katamari ball of organs and, like, stuff jutting out of it.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. Did you guys dissect owl pellets in science class?

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, and frogs.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, I think I was telling Bonk about this, and she didn't know about the owl pellet. Thing. And she was like, what is it? And I was like, I don't know. What was the owl pellet?

[Mary Kish]

It was a way to reconstruct an animal through bones. Because owls.

[Mike Mahardy]

It was poop.

[Mary Kish]

Eat mice.

[Mike Mahardy]

An owl pellet.

[Dan Reichert]

So it was owl.

[Mary Kish]

An owl pellet is poop. Poop.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, that was owl excrement.

[Mary Kish]

Excrement.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

Because it's very dry. And then when you broke it apart, you'd get all the bones and you could put together a mouse.

[Mike Mahardy]

But how do they know that? The droppings they picked up. Would they, like, inspect them first and then say, oh, there's a dead mouse in here.

[Mary Kish]

It's just, like, natural that the owl's diet is like 90 mice. And what's interesting is, like, sometimes someone would get two, like, skulls, and somebody else would get, like, no, like, leg bones. And they'd be like, oh, can I have, like, one of your skulls? And I'll give you one of my leg bones. Because it all evened out in the end.

[Dan Reichert]

You think I'd put the poop through, like, an airport metal detectors or like the body scan thing just to make sure there's a whole skeleton in there. Yeah, that's a mouse. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

The next Alex Garland movie is going to be about a guy, a kid, who's dissecting owl pellets and then puts the skeleton together and it just. A mini version of him.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Wow.

[Dan Reichert]

I think that's Honey, I shrunk the kids.

[Mary Kish]

And then he looks out the window and there's an owl. Dun, dun, dun.

[Mike Mahardy]

And then he. And then he dissects the stomach of mini him. And there's many. His father.

[Mary Kish]

I think the title of this film would be who?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, that's good.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. Actually, I can hear the soundtrack, too. That starts it off. It's, like, very ethereal. It's like. And then Oscar Isaac, bleeding from the mouth, is rushed to the hospital. And then Natalie Portman discovers that her husband's dead.

[Dan Reichert]

And then you're just describing a different movie.

[Mike Mahardy]

This shimmery dome is over southern Florida, this swamp. And then Jennifer Jason Lee says, we don't know what it is, but we're going in. And then Tessa Thompson's there, and the Gina Rodriguez is there. And then there's a crocodile aisle. And then there's a bear that eats screams.

[Mary Kish]

And then an orb.

[Dan Reichert]

Man, you're making me want to watch that again. That's a cool movie.

[Mike Mahardy]

Watch it the other night. Yeah. I keep trying to get Amanda to watch it, but then she's like, all right, show me the trailer again. And she does not like horror.

[Dan Reichert]

It's a weird type of horror.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's the. It's the scene they find from Oscar Isaac Squad that can. With people.

[Mary Kish]

That one is stressful. They're, like, getting in his orgy.

[Mike Mahardy]

All, like. They go crazy together. They go crazy together, and they all agree to cut open his stomach. Then they see the stuff moving in it.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, they're getting in his orb, and.

[Mike Mahardy]

They look back at the camera. They're like, see? It's his orb.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, man, that movie's cool.

[Mike Mahardy]

I know. I love it. Tessa Thompson just becomes a bush.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. Yeah, man.

[Mike Mahardy]

Natalie Portman almost bangs herself at the end.

[Dan Reichert]

And you don't want to watch this just describing this. If you hadn't seen the movies. What the fuck is this movie?

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, it's really good. It's the best movie ever made. Well, thank you.

[Dan Reichert]

Or cheese.

[Mary Kish]

Cheese.

[Dan Reichert]

Cheese.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'd still go cheese.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, I would, too.

[Mary Kish]

McGruber. Or both of your pinky fingers.

[Dan Reichert]

If. If I say, okay, well, you can.

[Mike Mahardy]

Get by without pinkies, right?

[Dan Reichert]

I'm doing.

[Mike Mahardy]

Look, I love disparage.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm going. I'm going. Fingers.

[Mary Kish]

Wow.

[Dan Reichert]

But in this scenario, I'm assuming it's like, it's not that I never saw McGruber. It's that just, like, I'm done seeing it. It doesn't exist anymore, and it's fine.

[Mary Kish]

Like, 15 minutes ago.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no, no, Dan. Here's. Here's. Here's. Here's the thing. Would you want to continue having pinkies? However, you have to erase all memory of MacGruber from your head ever having seen it again.

[Dan Reichert]

I wouldn't know what I was missing. But that is a sad thing to think about.

[Mike Mahardy]

But, yeah, you know that there's a void.

[Dan Reichert]

There's a void. I can say you know the basic.

[Mike Mahardy]

Premise of the movie, and you know that it was, like, a central aspect of your life, but it just doesn't exist anymore.

[Dan Reichert]

It'd be sad, but I think I do need all my fingers.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think I'm just describing, like, the death of a loved one. His or his or his body.

[Dan Reichert]

There's no way I could explain orb.

[Mary Kish]

A good thing or a bad thing to you.

[Dan Reichert]

Orb is a desirable thing.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's indifferent.

[Dan Reichert]

We want the orb.

[Mary Kish]

We do not want the orb. You want the orb.

[Dan Reichert]

It simplifies things.

[Mary Kish]

It does. It makes you more killable.

[Dan Reichert]

It does do that.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay, okay. How about this?

[Dan Reichert]

How about this? Here's a bonus for you.

[Mary Kish]

Like a paper cut in the orb could take you out.

[Dan Reichert]

Mary, let me sell you on this. The orb is bullet and stab proof.

[Mary Kish]

What kind of ethereal sack is this? This doesn't make any sense.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm just saying I don't know the science behind it. I'm not an orb doctor. We've got plenty of those. Now you cannot.

[Mary Kish]

Because they can't puncture it. They can't get in there.

[Dan Reichert]

They have tools. It's got a latch. It's got like, you know, like the luggage that has the TSA lock on it. It's got bad.

[Mike Mahardy]

But doctors can open it from outer wilds. Like. Yeah, what if they have to drain your. The part of. No, it floods.

[Dan Reichert]

Dead doctors have the TSA code for your orb.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay. Tanks have left. People can throw grenades in the left.

[Mary Kish]

Probably one of my favorites. What number Was this one?

[Mike Mahardy]

86.

[Mary Kish]

86.

[Mike Mahardy]

We should 86 this episode, if you know what I mean. Jake, cut the part where I, like, violently threatened Mary. Well, get rid of that. Cut that.

[Dan Reichert]

No, that's our social.

[Mary Kish]

Social.

[Dan Reichert]

Our social clip. And don't give any context.

[Mike Mahardy]

I thought. I thought Mary was just out of nowhere threatening to throw one of my cats out the window, to which I usually respond pretty violently. And then I was like, oh, I see. He's saying if I got rid of dogs.

[Dan Reichert]

She was answering the question we were asking.

[Mike Mahardy]

I would just took it as a random act of, like, a threat.

[Dan Reichert]

Why? What the do you say?

[Mike Mahardy]

I really went into Mary mode against a Jersey mom there for a second. Is that what you feel like every time that happens?

[Mary Kish]

Every once in a while, you just kind of want to kill them.

[Mike Mahardy]

One of my cats right here. She's licking her ass right now. She's though. She's fine.

[Mary Kish]

Get that orb, honey.

[Mike Mahardy]

Ass is an orb is the butthole, and organ Google is the anus. Is the anus. Thank you. Is the anus in organization? Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

Wow.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, it's considered part of the digestive system.

[Dan Reichert]

Is it part of the rectum? No, but just a cavern for poop.

[Mary Kish]

At fire escape cast.com it is. On our socials, you can get merch. Fire escape cast.com. if you go to patreon.com fire escape, you can find where our merch is. We absolutely would love to see you rocking our fire escape T shirts. We even have a tip jar on our Patreon if you guys just want to throw us a dollar. You don't have to, but I just wanted to mention that too.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think we forgot to turn that sale off, so it's still probably that stuff is still on sale.

[Mary Kish]

I think I automatically.

[Dan Reichert]

It's summer.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, never mind. No, if you automatically.

[Dan Reichert]

It's still summer.

[Mary Kish]

It is still summer. But the sales.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, it won't end. My God. And yeah, as usual, if you want the ad free or video versions of the show, you can go to patreon, that is firescapecast.com or just go to patreon, search for us patreon.com firescape and you can just treat it as a tip jar if you want. Or like I said, unlock those other two versions. I know we want to do some sort of bonus episode soon.

[Dan Reichert]

Yes, we do.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's been a while. We were. I was going to say we're sort of done traveling for a bit, but. Dan, traveling soon. Yeah, but we got a little bit of a gap, so try. Dan, what do you have going on outside of 5.

[Dan Reichert]

Com? Check it out. Plenty of fun stuff going on. Blight Club, my favorite thing we're doing over there. Check it out. Got Jeff Grubb playing daikatana. Having a great time with it. So check that out on the YouTube.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary, what about you?

[Mary Kish]

Twitch stuff. Usually streaming on Mondays on Twitch tv. Mary Ish. Come join me.

[Mike Mahardy]

Sweet.

[Mary Kish]

What about you?

[Mike Mahardy]

Nothing like public facing. I'm playing games, but it's all for day job stuff now. Trying to think what I have coming up. Social life. I honestly have a fairly relaxed August, which is nice. It is the first month where I don't think I have, knock on wood, any major plans outside of New York.

[Dan Reichert]

Ooh, if you're. I should hang out with you in October. I'll be on the east coast, so we should talk about that.

[Mike Mahardy]

October, I'm like barely.

[Dan Reichert]

Fuck you.

[Mike Mahardy]

But if I'm here. Yes, absolutely.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm like away for a night in Texas in August, but that's it. Like one night. But no. October, we have. We have a wedding and then we're going to Hawaii for another wedding. And it's also our anniversary. Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

I have back to back weddings in October, so. Yeah, look at us.

[Mike Mahardy]

There's one in the York.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, One's in New York. One of them's in Connecticut.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, so you'll be here twice or is it all one trip?

[Dan Reichert]

One trip.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, okay. I'm sure I'll overlap at some point because it's like it's October 19th onward. We'll be busy.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. We'll chat. It'd be good to see you.

[Mike Mahardy]

Sweet. All right, that's our episode. Thanks for joining, everybody. We'll be back in a couple of weeks, deeper into August. Hopefully it'll cool off by then. Hopefully I'll have played more games by then that I could talk about, not just Diablo. It's been fun.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. I got a list I love. Every time I leave this podcast, I have a list of games to check out. And I got lost in Phantaland Ete and Dungeons of Hinterburg looking at me. So that sounds fun.

[Mike Mahardy]

All right, we'll see everybody in a couple weeks. Thank you. Bye.

[Dan Reichert]

Sa.