Fire Escape Cast #95

Summary

Fire Escape Cast #95 Summary

Episode Information

• Title: Fire Escape Cast #95
• Host/Authors: Dan Ryckert, Mary Kish, and Jeff Grubb
• Release Date: December 2, 2024
• Description: The trio continues their engaging discussions on video games, sharing personal anecdotes, industry insights, and lively debates from their unique perspectives.

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1. Wine: Perception and Industry Tricks

The episode kicks off with an in-depth discussion on the nuances of wine appreciation. Jeff Grubb shares his perspective on the wine industry, highlighting the psychological aspects that influence consumers' perceptions of wine quality based on labeling and pricing.

• Jeff Grubb (03:00): "I think there's a lot of research about, like, that there is no difference. If you do a blind taste test with people who claim to be experts... they always get it wrong."

Mary Kish adds to the conversation by acknowledging the difficulty in distinguishing between high-end and affordable wines, emphasizing the importance of personal preference over perceived quality.

• Mary Kish (07:29): "I could not tell the difference between that and a $200 bottle of wine, but I absolutely can tell..."

2. Domino's Emergency Pizza Feature

Dan Ryckert shares his humorous struggle with Domino's new "emergency pizza" feature on their app, which inadvertently led him to order more pizzas than intended due to the app's delivery minimums.

• Dan Ryckert (11:33): "Well, this started like a couple of weeks ago when that first happened... I get my free pizza. I got two pizzas and a macaroni and cheese. And the only thing I got free was the one pizza."

3. Black Friday and Consumer Behavior

The hosts delve into the chaotic nature of Black Friday, discussing how marketing strategies often manipulate consumer behavior through deceptive pricing and sales tactics.

• Mary Kish (14:02): "Imagine if you got daily bonuses in other parts of your life."

Jeff Grubb reminisces about simpler Black Friday experiences, contrasting them with today's overhyped sales events.

• Jeff Grubb (15:06): "I liked Black Friday... There was always like orderly lines for me."

4. Service Industry Tales: Working at Subway and Texas Roadhouse

Dan, Mary, and Jeff share their challenging experiences working in the service industry, particularly at Subway and Texas Roadhouse. They discuss the frustrations of dealing with demanding customers, inadequate training, and low wages.

• Mary Kish (21:25): "Any person that went in would piss me off... It was a very popular time."

Jeff Grubb recounts a memorable incident involving a difficult customer at Subway.

• Jeff Grubb (22:57): "Mary Kish: Three times."

Mary Kish vividly describes a confrontation with a customer demanding extra cheese, which escalated into a humorous yet tense situation.

• Mary Kish (21:25-22:58): Detailed account of handling an over-demanding customer and the ensuing conflict.

5. Navigating Interactions with Law Enforcement

The conversation shifts to personal encounters with the police, where Jeff and Dan discuss their approaches to handling tense situations, emphasizing the importance of remaining calm and respectful.

• Jeff Grubb (36:00): "It's more like a mental defect where it's the ADHD where I just like..."

Dan Ryckert shares a story about his friend's reckless behavior leading to a dangerous encounter with the police.

• Dan Ryckert (39:37-40:07): Narrates an incident involving a friend's irresponsible actions and the subsequent police intervention.

6. Video Games Spotlight: Silent Hill Remake and Vampire Survivors

The hosts transition to their favorite topic—video games. Jeff Grubb provides an insightful review of the Silent Hill remake, appreciating its enhanced mechanics and faithful recreation of the original's atmosphere.

• Jeff Grubb (60:09): "It's really lovely that when you go to a door and it's locked, he just very quickly, opens up a little piece of paper and writes..."

Mary Kish and Dan Ryckert discuss their experiences with Vampire Survivors, highlighting its addictive gameplay and the challenges it presents.

• Mary Kish (89:04): "It's very difficult. You have to save more men in levels five through eight..."
• Dan Ryckert (75:16): Reflects on the strategic aspects of the game and its impact on players.

7. Metaphors in Cinema: Analyzing Fight Club

Dan Ryckert reads excerpts from his college paper analyzing the film "Fight Club," engaging the hosts in a humorous critique of his own academic work. They explore themes of toxic masculinity, individualism, and societal conformity portrayed in the movie.

• Dan Ryckert (97:55): "It's a film that has changed countless outlooks on life and contributed to many personal philosophies."

Mary Kish and Jeff Grubb offer light-hearted feedback on Dan's analysis, poking fun at the depth (or lack thereof) of his arguments.

• Mary Kish (102:37): "It sounds like you never mentioned it."
• Jeff Grubb (101:10): "It sounds like you're bullshitting."

8. Listener Emails: Reimagining Classic Games

The trio addresses a listener's question about which classic games would resurface unchanged if all video games were wiped from existence and had to start anew. They agree on the enduring appeal of titles like Super Mario Brothers and Tetris, citing their fundamental gameplay mechanics and universal appeal.

• Eric from Saskatchewan (Submitted Email): "If all games were wiped out and we had to start from square one, which ones do you all think would come back just the same?"

• Jeff Grubb (104:00): "Super Mario Brothers... because it feels right."

• Dan Ryckert (105:12): "What about... Tetris... or like, Battle Royale."

9. Upcoming Events and Announcements

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts discuss upcoming projects, including the "Countdown to the Game Awards" and plans for future episodes on related shows like Bombcast. They also mention expanding their online presence through platforms like Blue Sky.

• Dan Ryckert (126:24): "I'm on Blue sky now. I'm Dan Riker.com on Blue sky, so you can find me there."
• Mary Kish (125:11): "I am still streaming every Monday, and right now I'm trying to get through Silent Hill 2 and I'm having a great time."

10. Closing Remarks and Final Jokes

The episode wraps up with light-hearted banter, personal stories, and humorous exchanges between the hosts, showcasing their camaraderie and the entertaining dynamic that defines Fire Escape Cast.

• Dan Ryckert (127:06): "Jake.org you be the judge."
• Mary Kish (127:34): "Don't forget to rate us 5 stars."

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Notable Quotes:

• Jeff Grubb (03:00): "There's a whole industry that's just, like, all about the bullshit. That is awesome to me."
• Mary Kish (07:29): "I could not tell the difference between that and a $200 bottle of wine."
• Dan Ryckert (11:33): "I got two pizzas and a macaroni and cheese. The only thing I got free was the one pizza."
• Mary Kish (14:02): "Imagine if you got daily bonuses in other parts of your life."
• Jeff Grubb (15:06): "There was always like orderly lines for me."
• Mary Kish (21:25): "Any person that went in would piss me off."
• Dan Ryckert (36:00): "It's like an RTS."
• Jeff Grubb (60:09): "It's really lovely that when you go to a door and it's locked, he just very quickly, opens up a little piece of paper and writes."
• Mary Kish (89:04): "It's very difficult. You have to save more men in levels five through eight."
• Dan Ryckert (97:55): "Fight Club spoke to our generation bitter about countless promises of a successful life contrasted with the truth of reality."

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Conclusion Fire Escape Cast #95 offers a blend of insightful discussions on wine perceptions, humorous takes on service industry jobs, personal anecdotes with law enforcement, and deep dives into video games and cinematic metaphors. The hosts' chemistry and candid conversations provide listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful reflections, making it a compelling episode for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Jeff Grubb]

Hey, guys, it is Ryan. I'm not sure if you know this about me, but I'm a bit of a fun fanatic when I can. I like to work, but I like fun too. And now I can tell you about my favorite place to have fun. Chumba Casino. They have hundreds of social casino style games to choose from. With new games released each week, you can play for free. And each day brings a new chance to collect daily bonuses. So join me and the fun. Sign up [e-mail] sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Dan Ryckert]

No purchase necessary VGW Group void where prohibited by law 18 + terms and conditions apply.

[Jeff Grubb]

Hey, everybody. Welcome to.

[Dan Ryckert]

That's Terrence and Philip.

[Jeff Grubb]

Hi, everybody.

[Dan Ryckert]

Welcome to Fire Escape, buddy. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Hey, guys. Flappy head. Mike Mahardy.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. Oh, yes. Somebody make.

[Mary Kish]

You made him Canadian.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. Hey, guy. Hello, everyone. My name is Dan Reichert. I am not Mike Mahardi. Joining me is Mary Kish.

[Mary Kish]

Hi.

[Dan Ryckert]

And you may have heard a third voice there that he's new to podcasting. I don't know if he's new to podcasting, but I've never podcasted with him before. Certainly one Jeffrey Grubb. Hello.

[Jeff Grubb]

Howdy. Howdy. I don't wait to be introduced. I just talk on podcasts. I think that's a dumb rule. Everyone's gonna hear you eventually. Who cares? Just talk.

[Dan Ryckert]

Do you think in an average day, Jeff Grubb. Most of the. If you took all the words that come out of your mouth, are more of them into a microphone or not?

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, more of them are into a microphone. I don't like talking, actually. I prefer not to. In life. I just rather not use this. The whole thing. I have here my throat and voice and stuff that could just go quiet for hours at a time. And then I podcast. I never shut up. So.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, and that's.

[Mary Kish]

Maybe you save all your juice. Yeah. You're like. You're holding it all in.

[Jeff Grubb]

I save my essence for the people. They demand it. Of course. Yes.

[Dan Ryckert]

Grub came in on very short notice here today because our colleague Mike Mahardi had a wine emergency. He was at his.

[Jeff Grubb]

Come look, don't listen. I know he's a big wine guy and you like to make jokes and stuff like that, but you don't have to like. Of course he's not having a wine emergency.

[Dan Ryckert]

No, his. His Sauvignon Blanc was not the right degree of chilled. So he has been berating a sommelier for going on two hours now. So we reached out.

[Mary Kish]

It's not a sommelier's Fault.

[Dan Ryckert]

Well, talk to Mike about it. He had some very specific and confusing things to say about it, but he's the expert. So we called upon Jeff Grubb to. To fill in. Why do you talk about wine, Jeff Grubb?

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh, yeah, sure. I had some wine at Disney World. At. God. Was that at the Toy Story restaurant? I think Mike Mahardi would have been very impressed by that. I don't remember which restaurant was which restaurant it was, but it was good. I had a cab. It was the first wine I had in quite some time. I. My opinion on wine is probably the exact opposite of Mike Mahardi's, which is like, this is all the same. Everything they're doing here is just labeling and names and putting pretty pictures on the bottle and in setting a certain price to make you think, like, this one's better than that one because this one's 50 times as much. And it's all trick. And I. I love and respect that about, like, the wine industry, that they're able to do all those tricks. I think that's fun tricks.

[Mary Kish]

If Mike were dead, he'd be rolling in his grave.

[Jeff Grubb]

I'm not saying, like, I can't believe.

[Mary Kish]

They'Ve tricked people, that the higher the price of wine, the nicer it is.

[Jeff Grubb]

I'm sure I'm shooting, but there's lots of research about, like, that there is no difference. If you do a blind taste test with people who claim to be experts and you. And, like, you have them taste it, they don't know which one is better, which one's more expensive. They always get it wrong. And then if you tell them what's more expensive, they're like, oh, of course. No, that's the one I actually liked, so. And again, I like that. I like that there's a whole industry that's just, like, all about the bullshit. That is awesome to me.

[Mary Kish]

So, yeah, you're just belittling, like, you're basically like, I love it that there's a bunch of idio. It's out.

[Jeff Grubb]

Let's be clear.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yes.

[Mary Kish]

$200 on a wine and can't tell the difference. Like, what?

[Jeff Grubb]

100% I am belittling.

[Mary Kish]

Good for them. Good for them.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

I mean, we were out at a, like, team dinner when everybody was here in Minneapolis a couple weeks ago for our game of the year. Or was that. That was last week, as of this recording, I think. And, yeah, we went to this restaurant downtown, and Mike's looking at the menu and talking to the waitress about the different wine pours and having her bring it out and do all of his sniffering or whatever you do. And he was telling us like, oh, this is usually 205 on the East coast, but this is 92 here. This is excellent. This is a great year. He was talking about the year and the vintage or whatever. And then I tasted it and it was good. You know, I'm far enough with wine now to where it's like, I like drinking wine, but I swear to God, it tasted like every glass of red wine. It tasted like the wine I had in church, in Catholic school. It all. It seemed indiscernible to me.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's like listening to a kid talk about Pokemon, where it's like, they're like, so into all the little details and they could tell you everything about all the power levels and stuff, but it's like, yeah, yeah, I'm glad that you have this, and I'm glad you're happy.

[Mary Kish]

And I think that way about all liquor. Or like, what about, like, cheap vodka versus expensive vodka?

[Jeff Grubb]

Well, vodka is a tough one because, okay, that's another one where there's not much of a difference. Vodka's vodka, but you get really bottom of the shelf vodka. Of course there's going to be bullshit in it, but if you do vodka right, it's just vodka. But, you know, like whiskeys and that kind of thing. Those. There's a lot of difference there, for sure.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, I drink a lot of scotch. And so I got. Right here, I got the Johnnie Walker Gold. And so, like, I could now gold versus red versus black versus blue. I could tell. Um, you could.

[Mary Kish]

If I. If you did a blind taste test.

[Dan Ryckert]

I've done it with Bonk. Yeah, yeah, Bonk has. Like, when I was first starting to get these, like, nice bottles and stuff, I was like, all right, I want to make sure this is worth it. Here's the. You know, this one. Like, we had just moved into our house, and I got my first bottle of Johnny Walker Blue, which is supposed to be like the super nice one. And I was like, all right, I just want to double check here. And we tested it three times with, like, Johnny Walker Red, Johnny Walker Black, and then the blue and all three times. I was like, oh, definitely that one. That one's way smoother. That one's got.

[Jeff Grubb]

But you can't tell the difference between Coke and Diet Coke.

[Dan Ryckert]

That's correct.

[Jeff Grubb]

I hate you, Dan.

[Mary Kish]

Wait, you know how you save all of your podcasting vocals? He tastes. He saves all of his taste buds, everything else. He's like, I'm actually not sure if this is an egg or a salad. I couldn't tell you.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's a finite resource. You have to. Resource management.

[Jeff Grubb]

Exactly.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's like an rts. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

And my mouth turns it on.

[Dan Ryckert]

Mary, you know, Mike does talk a lot about wine and we're both good friends with him. Do you.

[Mary Kish]

Let's talk shit about him.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, he's going to hear it. Like, do you just do the, like nod politely and. Because it means a lot to him or are you like, are you like taking it in and thinking about it?

[Mary Kish]

I don't think I'm going to retain vintages and years of fancy wine. So usually when he's getting into the details of like, this is a good year. I don't really know that. I will say, like, I've retained some knowledge generally of wine. I remember someone telling me that 2016 was a good year. I don't know. But like, if it's a broad piece of knowledge like that, I can retain that. But if someone's like, oh, this is a 20 bardo, I'll be like, I don't know what the fuck that means. But I appreciate that he has that knowledge. I think I give it a bit more credibility than grub. Like, I have recognized a cheap red from a nice red. But there is a limit to me if I have a 50 bottle of wine, which I consider an expensive bottle of wine. For sure.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, for sure.

[Mary Kish]

I could not tell the difference between that and a 200 bottle of wine, but I absolutely can tell. Usually, not always. I'm not, I'm not even gonna say absolutely. I am, I'm pushing it here. I believe that I could tell the difference between like boda box wine and like a nicer bottle of wine.

[Jeff Grubb]

Right. There's definitely. That is true. For sure. I'm talking about like, if you go to Kroger and you get like the eight dollar bottle of wine from Australia, that probably you would have a hard time telling the difference between that and a $50 bottle wine. I think most people would.

[Mary Kish]

I realized, I think that's fair.

[Dan Ryckert]

If we. We've always talked about the idea of like where we did a packs panel or something like that. I think we have our packs panel. If we.

[Mary Kish]

So I think it'd be really fun to do a blind wine tasting and actually put your money where your mouth is. You think you're so fucking good. Like, let's see it. Let's see if you can. And you know what else I'll do? I'll do a Blind cheese test for Dan, and I'll have, like, six different types of cheeses, and you'll have to tell me what vintage. This cheddar.

[Dan Ryckert]

Or if you want to be really impressed, pull out the Skittles and have me identify the flavor.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I could do that. We could do. I'm good at that whole. A whole tasting board. I wonder what I could taste. The difference of if you're doing. If Mike is doing wine and you're doing cheese and Skittles. I'm trying to think of, like, where I would feel confident that I could taste the difference between certain things. I'm not. Maybe Lacroix. Like, I bet you I could taste the difference between all the Lacroix.

[Jeff Grubb]

Would you be able to, like, if we handed you, like, different kinds of, like, canned waters, flavored waters, would you be able to know, like, which brand do you think?

[Mary Kish]

I'm a Lacroix person.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

I think that I've done the Kroger brand soda water, and I didn't like it, which is shocking. You'd think you would. It would be the same, but the carbonation style is totally different than La Croix. So I think I would be at least be able to be like, this is not Lacroix standard, and I don't like it. So, yeah, I would do that grub. What would you do? What would you taste test? We feel, like, confidence.

[Jeff Grubb]

I don't know. Like, I'm not, like, a. Like a super taster or anything like that. So when I'm. When I'm eating something, I think maybe it's the memory thing where it's like, I eat it. I'm like, this is good. And that's as much as I need to think about it, because in five minutes, I'm not going to remember what it tasted like.

[Dan Ryckert]

So, yeah, like, can you have memories of tastes? Like, if I was like, okay, what's your memory of the taste of a grape Jolly Rancher? Can you taste it?

[Jeff Grubb]

I'm very much just in the moment with that stuff where it's like, I don't. I'm eating it right now. I don't need to think about what it tastes like. I know what it tastes like. It's there. And so when it's gone, I have not, like, put that stuff into words. Which, again, this goes back to, like, why I think having all that extra stuff about. About wine is still kind of cool. Because people that do build this just.

[Dan Ryckert]

Because you're, you know, they.

[Jeff Grubb]

They build this vocabulary, and that helps them, like, have, like, A like a better memories about the things they're tasting helps. It helps them remember the which ones they like and stuff like that. I just don't have the habit of doing that with almost anything. I'm just in the moment. I like this or I don't like it.

[Mary Kish]

It's very Buddhist. I mean, good for you for like living in the moment, you know.

[Jeff Grubb]

I think it's a. It's more like a mental defect where it's the adhd where I just like.

[Mary Kish]

So ahead of it anyhow. Yes, exactly.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's finally someone said it finally. Of course.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I don't remember. Good.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. I got bad brain. And so I'm just going to be like, fuck it, whatever.

[Mary Kish]

He's so ahead of his time.

[Dan Ryckert]

We're just talking about food. And it made me just realize that I am in a like Domino's death spiral right now where I can't remove it. I'm trying to buff load me entirely. Okay, I'll explain. And I don't know how to get out of this Domino's. I get enough to where I got to enough things to redeem a free pizza, right? I got my Domino's points and so I was like, oh, sweet. I'll just, you know, the wrestling pay per view is coming up. I'll just order a pizza for myself. I can get one of those little thin crust ones that's not too crazy to eat by yourself. Then you go to order it, but there's a delivery minimum of $10. And so it's like, all right, well, I guess I gotta throw on like another pizza.

[Mary Kish]

Well, I don't know what Domino's has.

[Dan Ryckert]

The Mac and cheese. Well, they got the new Mac and cheese stuff, the five cheese Mac and cheese, which is great, but that's like $7. So I wound up getting to redeem my free pizza. I got two pizzas and a macaroni and cheese. And the only thing I got free was the one pizza. So I get it now.

[Mary Kish]

You have free pizzas.

[Dan Ryckert]

Well, this started like a couple of weeks ago is when that first happened. And then they had the emergency pizza gimmick where if you buy a pizza, right, there's a fun thing on the app, they've gamified it where they have like an in case of emergency break glass thing on the app. And it's super fun. And this is not a paid gig. I mean, this is a bad situation. This is not an endorsement for Domino's. You get to press the Thing and it says in case of emergency break for pizza and you break it. I'm like, yay, pizza. But order delivery minimum. So have to do it again and get extra pizzas again. So on Saturday I did that. Saturday I only had McDonald's and Domino's and now I have another emergency pizza ready to redeem, but I need to buy more pizzas to redeem that.

[Jeff Grubb]

I mean, yeah, this is how it works, right?

[Mary Kish]

Claws in you.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah. Like it always reminds me of like one of my favorite marketing thing. Well, not even market was like a legal thing. When Nintendo lost a lawsuit, they made a deal with the court to be like, what if we pay back the customers that we basically screwed over by doing that we scammed. Right. What if, what if we gave them all a $5 coupon that we'll just put in the, like we'll print it in a newspaper and they can go use it at any store to buy any Nintendo product they want with a five dollar off coupon. So basically to pay people back, they had, they forced people to have to give Nintendo money. And it was like this incredible maneuvering of like they lost and yet they still came out on top and significantly so because people had to spend like 45 to $55 to like use their five dollar coupon.

[Mary Kish]

That's so smart actually for advertising. I'm, I'm amazed though that the judge was like, I'll allow it. You know, like they should have put their foot down on there. Like when it's a class action lawsuit, like the next time someone slips and falls, the doctor's like good News, you get $2,000 off your next $40,000 back surgery.

[Dan Ryckert]

Exactly.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. I can't afford not to.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's like you'll get those emails from time to time from. I always get it from Best Buy and I rarely ever to Best Buy. And it'll just be like, hey, here's your $5 reward thing for this month. And I'm like, oh, I guess I gotta go to Best Buy. I gotta buy something now. Otherwise it's throwing money in the garbage. But then it's like there's nothing that you're buying that's just five. I will get a couple packs of bubble gum here at the.

[Jeff Grubb]

No, like you have to sign. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

So that actually works pretty well. Or maybe I'm just stupid.

[Jeff Grubb]

No, you're just a mark.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, you're a mark. But I don't think they would do it if it wasn't effective.

[Jeff Grubb]

Right.

[Mary Kish]

So I think you are getting Bamboozled. But you are one of many people who get bamboozled. And we are in the bamboozled season. It's. It's bamboozle season. It's Black Friday. This is the time where people are doing Christmas shopping, and it's kind of notorious. Like, there's a lot of, like, YouTube videos that will show this, but you'll see a Target video of someone walking around. It'll say, Black Friday sale price, 1499, usually $20. And if they pull the thing back, it's just usually on sale for 1499. And so they've just put a sticker over it that says Black Friday. But it's the same deals that they always have, right? And so, like, a lot of this is a part of the brain chemistry of it's on sale. This is the perfect time I should get it right now. It's on sale. And you impulse buy a new TV that you did not need.

[Jeff Grubb]

And people really, really love that shit. Because I remember when JCPenney, the Apple store guy, took over J.C. penney for a while, and his first thing was, we're going to simplify the stores. You're going to, like, there's going to be colored sections. And when you go in that section, when you see a color, you just know that thing's going to be that price. And it's not going to be 1899. It's going to be $19, 19, 00. It's going to be so simple. And we're not going to have coupons. We're going to have deals. You're just going to know what you're going to pay when you walk in here. And people hated it.

[Mary Kish]

Where are my sales?

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, they love sales because they think that the people want to think they're getting one over on the companies. If they think that they are taking advantage of the company, they'll spend so much more money. And people. And people like, you could tell them that and they don't care. Like, no, I still want that feeling.

[Dan Ryckert]

I'm with the people on this.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, sure.

[Dan Ryckert]

I like feeling like I'm getting one over. I mean, I miss. I think. I think we've lost something in recent years with Black Friday not being what it once was. I remember I would always go back.

[Jeff Grubb]

I liked Black Friday.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. My sisters and I would always have a dumbass, like, gaming thing where it's like, all right, Mario 3D world just came out. So we're just going to, like, huddle around the Wii U all night. And my mom made a Bunch of this pineapple vodka shit and one on the flagpole at the end of every level has to take a shot. And we would do this for, like, eight hours and just be tanked. And then early in the morning, just like, you know, wake mom up or whatever, have her take us to Best Buy, and she sleeps in the car. Me, Katie and Kayla, like, run in there and we try to get our savings and stuff like that. I got Danny O'Dwyer mixed up with this.

[Jeff Grubb]

One year we played a fun time.

[Dan Ryckert]

We played. Yeah, he's. I guess they don't have Thanksgiving in Ireland and.

[Mary Kish]

Yes, that's correct. It tends to be more of an American holiday.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, they're just not a very thankful people over there, is what it is. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

They have no thanks at all. It's not even in their dictionary. Thank people over there.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's all gray and rainy. They're just. Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

So we had a. A cultural exchange, I guess. It's not an exchange. I guess it's just me showing him stuff.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's. Yeah. Cultural. He. Cultural imperialism. You just forced yourself on him.

[Mary Kish]

Indoctrination.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

I took Daniel DW to Kansas one Thanksgiving. He slept on Paul Reard's floor, which at the time I think had dead wasps all over it. And then we'd get up in the morning and go. I took him to Walmart. Black Friday morning. I've got a picture of Danny O'Dwyer giving the devil thumbs up in front of a Walmart while it's still dark outside. And I was like, this is here, Danny. This is America. This is the most American thing you can do.

[Mary Kish]

What did he buy?

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, I think he bought, like, a novelty T shirt. And, like, I think we got something stupid on DVD or Blu Ray that was on sale.

[Jeff Grubb]

Sure.

[Mary Kish]

That was about a real shopper.

[Jeff Grubb]

No, you gotta get a tv. Come on.

[Dan Ryckert]

I've done the TV thing.

[Mary Kish]

I didn't even get a tv. What a bitch. What a bitch.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

You had to fight someone and just bring out a trolley of crap you don't need. That's the way.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. So. So he got to see that. And, like, I. That was just like, a thing me and my sisters did all the time. Now it's like all. They start doing it two weeks early. And I see all these, like, things like CNN.com being like, we checked all 800 deals on Amazon and here's the 60 that matter. And she's like, it's just a bunch of robo vacuums. And, like, Dyson's. And it's like, Ah, we're good. Like it's not exciting anymore.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, it was. I, I definitely, like, we would find the right store and like me and Steph early when we were dating, we'd be like the Target on Ohio State campus. No one, everyone goes home for Thanksgiving. No one's going to be there. We went there and it was basically dead. And we got all these great deals and we felt like, oh, we got one over on them. We figured something out. So just like feeling like you cracked the code a little bit was always exciting. And you know, you always see the horror stories of like, oh, people getting trampled and stuff like that. It was never like that. There was always like orderly lines for me and I would just like sort of a calmly, serenely walk through the store and like look for stuff while, you know, Steph went to go get the one specific thing she was at the store for. I have fond memories of Black Friday.

[Dan Ryckert]

I worked at GameStop for a couple Black Fridays and I did work at a Best Buy for one Black Friday. And I will say on the working side of things, it is a nightmare. I believe that, yes, GameStop was never as bad. They didn't go as wild with it. Like Best Buy, I feel like was ground zero for that type of stuff. So if you were working Register, which I was at Best Buy, it's like you're gonna. I think they would do time and a half at least. But those were long fucking days for sure. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

What like, like before these jobs, like an every man person kind of job. Like what was the worst day or worst kind of event that would happen at your jobs?

[Dan Ryckert]

My dad always.

[Mary Kish]

Subway. Five dollar foot long week.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, that was 365, 24 7. What are you talking about?

[Mary Kish]

No, it wasn't. Didn't used to be. Not when I was 16.

[Dan Ryckert]

Really.

[Mary Kish]

It was a specialty. It wasn't $5. This was like Subway has been on a long trajectory of like, crap, we need to do some kind of gim. Like the foot long cookie.

[Jeff Grubb]

Cookie is the number one gimmick in my heart.

[Mary Kish]

And one of them was $5 foot longs all the time. But back in the day it was a specialty promo, right? You don't remember those commercials? $5.

[Dan Ryckert]

I thought it was always. I used to go there all the time. Five dollar meatball marinaras for five bucks.

[Jeff Grubb]

Like, yeah, they did it all the time eventually. And that's actually one of the reasons they're in such a shitty position right now. Because that's right, everyone, everyone got that song stuck in Their head and they go there like, like these footlongs are like 15. What are you talking about? And so like everyone's like these things should be $5. But yeah, when I, I used to work at Subway long before there was ever any five dollar foot long thing. So I, I didn't know what that was like. Was it like, was it really. You actually did get busy and, and like they're like long lines and stuff.

[Mary Kish]

People just, it was just busier than you had want. I mean I also to express like I am a. That was my first job, right. I worked at Subway. An ideal day at Subway was no one coming in exactly five dollar footlong week or whatever. It's not like we had a line out the door. It was just busier. And it's just like, well, I don't want to serve any of these people because I want to be high.

[Jeff Grubb]

I didn't want to do my job.

[Mary Kish]

I was a bad person and I.

[Jeff Grubb]

Didn'T want to do all those feelings sound very familiar of working at Subway.

[Mary Kish]

I don't want to get you your seafood sub. Like I don't want to. So yeah, any person that went in would piss me off. And it was a very popular time. Plus I just feel like sale people. I'm gonna try to say this nicely because I think there's obviously nice sale people but there's something about sales that can bring out the absolute worst in.

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh yeah.

[Mary Kish]

When they're getting a deal and all of a sudden they're just like, I want extra this and I want extra that and I want. I, you know, are you making it properly? And it's just like it's, it's $5. This is not worth you crawling up my ass about how much food is on this. And it's obviously, it's a foot long sub. It's a lot of shit in your body you don't need anymore. And so like they would constantly like you got. I would get in fights with people about it. Again, I was a bad 15 year old child. But like I have like vivid memories of a person being like, I want extra parmesan cheese. And so I would sprinkle the stupid parmesan cheese. It came out of the cup with the holes punched in it. And then he was like, he said it would like this. I said extra cheese. Can you put extra on there? And so I was like, Jesus, cha cha cha cha cha cha. Against the whole thing. And he said it again. I really mean it when I say I want extra. And so I said can you hit the extra cheese button? And he was like, you can't make me pay for extra cheese. It's parmesan cheese. That's che, that's. That one's free. It's extra cheese if it's like one of the squares. And I said it's cheese, Parmesan cheese. And you asked for extra cheese. So you're getting the extra cheese button. And he was just like, you can take that sub and shove it up your ass. And I was like, maybe I will. And then my manager pulled me in the back and said I wasn't allowed to do that.

[Dan Ryckert]

I would kill for the CCTV footage of like the security footage of Ohio subway of Mary screaming at some just.

[Jeff Grubb]

Roundhouse kicking a middle aged man asking for parmesan cheese. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Three times.

[Dan Ryckert]

Mary, how pissed would you be if. Have you seen the like the Chipotle hack people were doing sometime this year where it's like they're filming grub? Have you heard of this?

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah. They were filming so they would get extra. Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

Wouldn't you be furious? I'm just like, oh, you just order your food?

[Jeff Grubb]

Like absolutely, yeah, I would be.

[Mary Kish]

You don't make enough money.

[Jeff Grubb]

That's how I feel every time I go to any of these places.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Industry job to deal with.

[Jeff Grubb]

Do not make enough money.

[Mary Kish]

No, absolutely not. And I think a service industry job is very valuable. I think every person, of course, should work a service industry job. There's lots of different jobs you can have as your first job that are, that would give you character. But there's nothing like doing a service industry job. And I've done a lot of them. I also worked at Texas Roadhouse and I met a lot of dickheads there as well. And it will change your mind tremendously when your food is overcooked or whatever. How you treat the server who is doing their best and does not make a lot of money to hear you complain that your broccoli is over steamed. That did happen and I remember like just being like my dude. We put it in a microwave. That's how it's made. There are plastic baggies.

[Jeff Grubb]

There's one way to steam it filled.

[Mary Kish]

With broccoli and we put them in a microwave for 45 seconds. That's how your vegetables are made at Texas Roadhouse. I will give away that industry secret.

[Jeff Grubb]

Hell yeah.

[Mary Kish]

And I think it's ridiculous that like I was getting the brunt of that. You're at a Texas Roadhouse. That's what you're getting. You're getting Baggied broccoli. Don't be a dick to me. And I just, just. I pay that forward for everyone. Not just the. The stupid Chipotle people with their phone, but also someone who goes to a Starbucks and orders a very specifically unique drink that probably takes five to 10 minutes. When there's a long line like, be reasonable with these poor people. They're doing their best. They that, like, there's drinks that have, like, 20 steps that.

[Dan Ryckert]

That would kill me because, like, there were. Because I. I have so much empathy for anyone in, like, the service industry because, like, my mom was a waitress growing up. I worked at call centers and retail jobs. My whole dad's side was all grocery store employees and stuff. So, like, I'm very, very empathetic with all that. But I found out in the early 2010s that if you go to Chipotle, there's a secret menu thing you can order. And it was before Taco Bell called the thing a quesarito. This was a revelation at the time where if you ask them, they could open up a tortilla, put a shitload of cheese in it first, and then make the real burrito inside of that. So there's a layer. It's like a double decker, like, like cheese, and it's good as hell. And so I tried it when I heard about that on Facebook or whatever back in the day, and it was delicious. But it was such a thing where every time I'd go in, I'd just be like, oh, is there anyone behind me? Is there? Do they seem stressed? Or does it seem. Are they trying to clean up? And conditions would have to be perfect to be like, everyone's smiling. There's nobody else in this place. I would like this quesarito, please. And I would. I'd be like, apologetic, ordering, like, hey, no big deal if you can't. I'll pay extra if you need to, or whatever.

[Mary Kish]

But he ordered the quesarito. We hate him.

[Dan Ryckert]

Beat the shit out of them.

[Mary Kish]

You do want to do it, right? I will remember, like, vividly when I was in school and we went to Chipotle, one of the coolest. It wasn't really a hack, but just ordering double protein. Back in the day, I. I don't know if it's changed that much, but back in the day, there was like, three people, right? There was the person who put the meat and, yeah, beans on it, and then it went to the vegetable person, and then it went to the cashier person. And sometimes in that transfer, they didn't know you got double meat. And yes, to me, that's a victimless crime. I am not hurting anyone. Nobody has been impacted or offended. And the company lost a little bit of double meat like you that. I think that's a great one. So.

[Jeff Grubb]

That's fantastic.

[Dan Ryckert]

Double cheese at Subway is the same way I would always get double cheese. I get pepper Jack and mozzarella.

[Jeff Grubb]

Not on my watch.

[Dan Ryckert]

I got a guy I knew you would.

[Mary Kish]

Would never get by me.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's a real sandwich artist you're dealing with here. No way.

[Mary Kish]

I took it. I didn't take it seriously at all. I was such a bad employee in every, every conceivable way. But it wasn't because, like, it wasn't because of anything outside of just general teenage apathy. Like, I just didn't want to be good at a job.

[Dan Ryckert]

See, I was, like, aggressively shitty. So I think I might have been worse than you. I used to do this thing when I worked at the concession stand in AMC where I would like to entertain myself. I guess I would do this little test with my friends where it's like, there's the nuclear, like, orange dust that you put in the popcorn, right? So for every, like, load of popcorn in the popper, you put one level scoop in there, and that's already very salty seasony. You know, you taste it, burns your tongue, you know.

[Mary Kish]

Is it. When you say nuclear dust, it's just salt.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's just like that orange magic popcorn dust, whatever it is called.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, hang on, I'll look it up.

[Dan Ryckert]

I'm not sure. I'm sure it's, like, largely salt, but it was like.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, there's a special kind of. There's a special kind of saw.

[Dan Ryckert]

It was. Yeah. Bright orange. And so I would, like, you know. Okay, so this one showing this movie. We got a rush here. Let's try it with one and a half scoops and see if anyone comes back. No, no one came back. All right, next rush, I'm gonna do two scoops. By the time I'm getting to, like, four scoops of this, that, like, one is overkill. Then it's like, all right. That I was like, try to find the line where people would come back and be like, my mouth is on fire. This is awful. What did you do? What do you do?

[Mary Kish]

That's so rude.

[Dan Ryckert]

Flavor call shitty.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's called flavacol. And it's this. Yeah, the extra, extra, extra salty salt. It's crazy. You should actually order some and try it on your popcorn at home. It really does Make a difference.

[Dan Ryckert]

I have not thought of that word in. Yeah. 25 years.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yep.

[Dan Ryckert]

He's.

[Mary Kish]

We have. We have an Australian household, so we have a lot of chicken salt in this house. Else. Which is basically salt, but it. It's flavored like chicken bouillon.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

And it's pretty good on popcorn soaked.

[Jeff Grubb]

In like chicken bouillon before they put it in a bottle or whatever.

[Mary Kish]

I don't know how they make it over there. It's a bunch of crazy people on that side of the earth.

[Jeff Grubb]

Mostly spiders. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I don't ask how they make it. I'm just saying it's got a chicken on the container.

[Jeff Grubb]

Wouldn't understand it when they're talking anyhow. Right.

[Mary Kish]

Who knows what they're up to. A whole chicken in every can.

[Jeff Grubb]

Have you guys ever walked out on a job?

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Well, out of. I think I might have walked out of one of the subways I worked at. I walked out of Burger King. I walked out of Papa John's after two days. I'm trying to think that might. That might be it. There's probably another in there somewhere.

[Dan Ryckert]

I got two. Although I don't know if it counts about walking off. If you didn't show up for your first day.

[Jeff Grubb]

That counts.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's supposed to be the Bigs Barbecue chicken.

[Mary Kish]

I never walked on.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. In Lawrence, Kansas, there's a Biggs barbecue and they had a chicken mascot that would dance. On the side of it was either Iowa street or 23rd, one of the main drags of town. You just dance and have a sign that says Bigs Barbecue. And I thought that'd be a funny job to have. And the first day I was supposed to work. Yeah, yeah. But you. I got to wear a chicken suit. That seemed great. But the first day I was supposed to work was like a weekend day in July and It was like 100 degree and humid and I was hungover. And I woke up and I was like, I'm not doing this. I'm not. And I'd already gotten the job, filled out all my paperwork and everything and just didn't show up. The other one was also college. I got hired as a painter with all of my painting experience to paint. There was a girls dorm that was getting renovated and they were just hiring college kids to paint it. And so I'd never used a roller before. I never painted a room. I haven't since. And so I'm just learning how to paint on the job. And at the lunch break, I think I might have made it two days and Then the half day on the third one, I was like this. And I just walked off. It was. Yeah. Painting was not for me. So. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

Never, like, straight out of a place of business, though. Like, never, like, fuck this, I'm out.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah. The. The Burger King, there was a man. It's always. Was never a customer issue. It was always, like, if a manager was kind of, like, just a little shitty, and I'd be like, I don't want to. You don't pay me enough to deal with this.

[Mary Kish]

So people don't quit jobs. They quit managers for sure.

[Jeff Grubb]

Exactly. Yeah. So I walked out on the Burger King. The Papa John's was like. I think there was like, Red Wings playoff game on. I just wanted to go home and watch that. So I just didn't. I just think I just left. I was like. Like, I was trying to, like, remind myself of, like, the power I have in situations of, like, I. I still have a choice. I could just leave at any time. And occasionally that, like, voice gets really loud in my head, especially as a kid, and I'd be like, let's just do it. Let's just do it. And I would. I would leave and I would feel very empowered.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. That's when I would skip school in, like, high school. I would do that because I would just be sitting there and I'd have my bag all packed up and stuff, and it'd be like WrestleMania 2000. My pre order just came in at Funko Land. I got to go play it right now. And I'm in Math class and 5th hour or whatever. It's like, oh, he's gonna see me. He's gonna see me get up. I'm like, there's no way to escape his line of sight. And then I would just have to tell my brain, like, hey, brain, shut up. Stop thinking your legs work. Get up. And I just get up. And like, sometimes I would hear like, hey, Dan, where you go? It's like, nope, just keep walking. Just keep walking. Drive a funkal and you're good.

[Jeff Grubb]

Hell yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. It's empowering.

[Mary Kish]

Don't do that with a police. I just like, I feel like you've learned a weird lesson. Yeah. Where your body, your body, your legs are apparently allowed to overpower your brain, but that can probably put you in.

[Jeff Grubb]

Danger, but it also gets you cool things. That's like, I did, like, jump over the fence. Well, it was a 311 concert, so not that cool. But I. I jumped over the fence to get back into a 311 concert. After getting kicked out for underage drinking.

[Dan Ryckert]

You ran from the cops to get into a 311 concert?

[Jeff Grubb]

Well, security guards, like, mostly I was also. I was also as high as a human could be because I, like, they, like, they left all the weed out in the van, my minivan. And so I got kicked out, went to the van, I smoked all of that. That. And then the. The funniest part about this is I thought I was being so sneaky up by the train tracks, I was going to sneak back in. And from, like. Like, so far away. So far away. My brother and my friend who had just gotten kicked out as well, was like, jeff, what are you doing? And I was like, oh, you guys can see me. Interesting. And so then I. All three of us decide, all right, we'll just go see if we can get back in. We yelled at the guy. He's like.

[Dan Ryckert]

Like.

[Jeff Grubb]

Like a, you know, the roadie or whatever, and he says, just jump the fence, guys. Just go. And I'm like, all right. And we jumped the fence, and then security guards did see us, and then we just jumped another. And these are, like, 12ft fences. And jumped that got back in, and we mixed in with the crowd. And then when I left, we saw the security guards and kind of waved at him, and they didn't care. At that point, it was already over.

[Dan Ryckert]

So I. I get the sense that despite knowing you for years now and podcasting with you a lot, that I feel like there's a treasure trove of like. Like, teenage slash college dirtbag age group that I've not.

[Mary Kish]

The bad boy years. Yeah, the bad boy years.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

You have long hair, too. Just stoned and long hair and.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. All through the 20s especially. Yeah, I grew. I started growing my hair in, like, late high school, and then. Yeah, that was definitely when the dirtbagness started, for sure.

[Dan Ryckert]

What's some, like, you know, Mount Rushmore dirtbag moments for you?

[Jeff Grubb]

I know I steal the tv. Stealing the tv. Of course, that's number one. That's George Washington. A dirtbag. Things. I. I don't. It was like, I. Did I tell you ever about getting tased? About getting tasered?

[Dan Ryckert]

I think I know that you got Tased, but I don't know the context.

[Jeff Grubb]

I. I was like, again, like, reminding myself the power I have in situations. So when, like, cops come to the door at a party and it's not my house, I'm like, listen, I can't tell you to come in, so. So I'm gonna go get the person that lives here, and they could tell you whether or not you come in, but it's not my place. This is. I'm so. I'll go do that. And they're like, like, you, we're not waiting. And they just tasered me. And I'm like, as they're tasering me, I'm like, can't believe you guys are taser. I mean, that's what I'm literally saying that. And kind of like. Like more stunned than being, like, actually stunned. Yeah, literally stunned. And so. And eventually I'm like, okay, wait, there's, like, now there are eight cops on me. And I'm like, I just need to go down. I need to just go down and sit here and just, like, let what happens happens. And that was. It was very interesting. So we did. I got to court because I was obstructing official business, I think, is what I got. And I was like, I want to fight this 22ish. Because I was. I was of legal age. That's one of the reasons I answered the door. So I. Yeah, 22 ish. 21 or 22. And I went to court and I was going to be like, hey, public defender, let's fight this, right? Because this is. And then. And then she's like, yeah, but you have, like, a previous, like, noise complaint warrant that you never answered. And I'm like, what the fuck is that noise complaint? It was my. Again, I was of age, so I answered the door. My friend was playing the guitar too loud, and we had a noise complaint. I went to go talk to the cops. So my name was on the ticket. I gave it to him to pay. He never paid it. And so there was a warrant out for my arrest. So she's like, listen, we can get that taken care of. We'll get that wiped away in exchange for you doing 100 hours of community service. For this, I'm like, okay, fine. And for a hundred hours of community service, I went to the local animal shelter and played with kittens the entire time.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, sorry. That must have been really tough.

[Mary Kish]

It ruled pit bulls and parolees.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, it was. It was. Yes, exactly. Yes.

[Dan Ryckert]

So the moral of the story is get yourself tased by cops. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

It was like, yeah, I. Even at the. At the time, I'm like, I don't think I feel anything. I'm like, it's just weird. This is really weird because I think it really. It works way better if you are. Are resisting because your body's all tensed up. And I was like, Pretty relaxed. And they just taste. I'm like, this is very weird.

[Dan Ryckert]

You didn't, like, nothing super high.

[Mary Kish]

And they tase you, and you're just like, yeah, that's what you want to do. Come on in.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, I. I did not do a single thing I just said. I'm gonna go get the person who lives here. The thing is that there were people who were outside breaking windshields of cars coming down the street. They knew they were getting chased by cops. They came into this party with us. We didn't know them. They came in the party, went out the back door. So I answer the door and, like, this is a. That's been breaking windshields. And I'm like, no, I've been in this party the whole time.

[Dan Ryckert]

So the cops probably thought, it's like, oh, we gotta. These guys are gonna get away if we don't, like, move now on it. And I. I guess taste the guy and get in there.

[Jeff Grubb]

Let's just taste the guy. Yeah. Wow.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay. So not. It's not too bad.

[Jeff Grubb]

I don't know if I would, like, do it again. I think, actually, the anticipation of, like, knowing it was coming would probably be way worse, actually, because I. I.

[Dan Ryckert]

Is it the thing that shot out, like, little things?

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah. They shot out, though. There was, like, the little clips in my body.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay. Because mine was for the one I did on myself a lot, was probably a stun.

[Jeff Grubb]

Stun gun. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

I've always said taser, but I guess it's probably more accurate.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Taste was like, a brand name, I guess. Yeah. I don't. I don't. I didn't, like, look into it and see what. I didn't, like, read the side of the gun or anything.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. Did you ask to see it, like.

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh, yeah. What voltage is this set to? Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

No, it's not very strong at all. Can you turn it up a little bit?

[Dan Ryckert]

It.

[Jeff Grubb]

I. I was just, like, on the ground at a certain point. Like, I can't believe you guys tased me. All my friends like, Jeff, just shut the up.

[Mary Kish]

Please.

[Jeff Grubb]

Stop. Stop talking.

[Mary Kish]

How you got yourself into that situation 100 is.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah. Just. Just shut the up when you're dealing with cops. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Up. Yeah. Listen to your legs.

[Jeff Grubb]

I did. I did get put in the back of the cop car while they're, like, they'd, like, bring a sergeant out to be like, we got to figure out what happened, because we totally violated this person's, like, rights here. This is not like, we gotta, like, bring someone here who knows actually what they're doing. And so they brought out some, I don't know, some big hotshot cop or whatever. And I'm like telling the story and I'm still like, some mustache tased me or whatever. And he's like, okay, okay, just cool it. I'm like, I'm. I can't help it.

[Dan Ryckert]

See, I always did the same thing with cops that I do with like call center people is just like super duper nice and because I always figure, like, if you're angry with them or combative, that's when they like come after you.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, right. When I get pulled over. When I get pulled over, I'm like, I'm super nice. I'm like, you're just doing your job. I'm just trying to get somewhere. Let's figure this out. That's completely fine. Fine.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, I thought I was once where it was July 4th, and me and my buddy, I'll. I'll withhold his name here, but my buddy gets a thing of satellite missiles and we're all just like. We went. Drove out to a dark road in Lawrence, Kansas, and we just want to shoot off fireworks, but we were doing it like right by the road. Super not busy road. But also my friend was a guy that caused trouble and, you know, would. I should have known, would do something stupid. One car is driving by in the middle of my buddy with a thing of like 25 satellite missiles. The little one like, shoot, and he fucking aimed it at the car. And I have a fucking picture of like as. I don't know how I timed it as the car is passing the window, is down on the passenger side and it goes in and you hear the pop. Car pulls over. Guy comes out off duty cop.

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh, fuck.

[Dan Ryckert]

And the thing exploded in front of his fiance's face.

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh, fuck.

[Dan Ryckert]

This guy was.

[Jeff Grubb]

How are you alive? It wasn't me.

[Dan Ryckert]

I wasn't holding. I got the picture of my buddy holding it. I took the picture, but I was just Document.

[Jeff Grubb]

You're a citizen journalist.

[Mary Kish]

You fucking were the witness and put him in jail?

[Dan Ryckert]

No, because they had him get on the ground because they saw him holding the things. It's like, get the fuck down. You almost fucking blinded my fiance. It flew in there. You fucking like. And he showed his badge and stuff and he starts talking to me and I don't know how. I was drunk as shit and I just did the thing. I. Oh, my God, I feel terrible. Like, yeah, we're just. We had a little too much to drink. We didn't drive. We like, you know, we got dropped off out here, and he just, like, I watched him. He didn't mean to do it.

[Jeff Grubb]

It.

[Dan Ryckert]

I just, I just, was very, just apologetic and nice, and he was like, all right, just go home or something. I, okay, Jesus. Thank God. Like.

[Jeff Grubb]

But yeah, that, that, that definitely had worked for me, like, when I was like, on the. I haven't, like, tripped a lot, but I did ask it a couple times, and one of the times I was just like, I'm going to go for a walk. And I was definitely like, walk in someplace where I shouldn't be. And I just basically told the cops, hey, I'm on acid right now. I was going to just walk home. I'm not trying to cause any trouble. I'm just trying to get to where I'm going. And I don't want to be a hassle. I want to cause you guys any problems. Like, I want to avoid problems if I can. It was very nice, and it worked that time, and it was fine. So I tried that again of, like, being nice in a situation where we were at, like, a house party. And I, I, I, I, I don't know. I, I, maybe I have a thing for talking to the cops. I'm like, I know. I, I will go be nice to him. It'll work. So I went to go talk to them, and they're like, look, we're just looking for, for, like, we just want to make sure everyone's okay, make sure everything's all right. So can we come in? And I'm like, yeah, I'll, I'll tell everyone, hey, listen, everyone, they just want to make sure everything's cool. They want to come in. And what they were really trying to do is they saw someone with a bong in the garage, and they were trying to get legal permission to come inside, so they came in. As soon as I gave him permission, they came right inside, went right for that. Like, all right, now everyone's under arrest. And I'm like, cops.

[Dan Ryckert]

Like Dracula. Like, as soon as you invite them in, they can just do whatever.

[Jeff Grubb]

Well, if you invite them in, then they don't need a warrant. They don't need a warrant. So they can just come in and.

[Mary Kish]

They look just like Dracula.

[Dan Ryckert]

Like Dracula.

[Jeff Grubb]

Just like Dracula. Yeah, yeah. It needs a warrant to drink your blood.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, yeah, it's true. You have to let them in. I think I have a dual system of opposing brain thought, where at first I am a great negotiator, and then when I have lost the battle, I freak out, and that's happen too.

[Jeff Grubb]

I'm sure. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I don't think that's when it just. I've crashed and burned. And this kind of comes out in all sorts of parts of my life, right. Where like I'll negotiate for our game of the year and if I lose or if I feel like I'm losing, I'll be like, well, I'll ruin all of your games.

[Dan Ryckert]

I will burned this house.

[Mary Kish]

I will wreck this for you. You know, like, you don't want to play board games.

[Jeff Grubb]

I need to listen to this. I was at Disney. I don't sounds like a real house player.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I remember like one time me and a. A bunch of girls wanted to get really drunk and do a haunted house. And we wanted to do like, do it in style. And we got this big event planned even with like a limo or like getting really drunk in the limo on the way to the haunted house. And this was way back in the day when we, we would have those one time use cameras. Like that's how like long ago this was. And we were all joking about like how much fun this was going to be. We were really hyping it up because it was like a 45 minute limo drive to get there. So we were chugging lots of drinks. By the time we got there, we were all really drunk and they were letting us in. Now the golden rule of haunted houses is you're not allowed to touch the performers. And the other one is, is no photography because they don't want you stealing the idea and taking them to a rival haunted house.

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh, wow.

[Mary Kish]

Or giving away the surprise. Right. Because that's half the scare for these places. And my girlfriend was so drunk and she was so excited that we were there in the very first room. She took a photo and they straight up were like, turn the lights on. And they turned the light in the room and they were like, you gotta go. And we were like, we just got here, it's five minutes. These tickets were like, like, you know, 50 bucks to get in. Let us go through. It was a mistake. She up, she's like, look at her, look at her. And she's sitting in the back like half, like not even standing. We're like, look at her, she's an idiot. Like, let's just go. And the guy is like, just so uncool about the whole thing. And it's just like, you broke the rules, you're out. And I just snapped and was like, oh, eat a dick, man. Like you can't have a drink and go watch Stupid. Who is this? It's not even scary. And he called the police, got the police to come in. And I snapped back in and was like, officer, these girls have traveled a really long way to see this place. And the officer looked at me and was like, you have two options. You can get back in your limo and you can off, or you guys can get arrested right now. And I went, oh, is that my only option? I can't even go see the stupid haunted house in. My girlfriend's just dragged me back into the limo. You can, like, see me in the limo being like, both of you, honestly, and zooming me away before I arrested, got arrested, or got all those girls into trouble. But, like, ultimately, I thought that maybe I could weasel my way through going through that house.

[Jeff Grubb]

And I. I do like that. When they, like, the cops came, you're like, all right, round two. Here we go.

[Mary Kish]

Redemption. And I was immediately like, officer, there has to be a way. You must understand. And he's like, well, I did hear that you called all of these people motherfuckers. I was like, that does not sound like.

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh, please. It's endearing where I come from.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, we can all agree to disagree here. As soon as he told me that it was over, I snapped again, and that was that.

[Dan Ryckert]

Well, Mary, you've got these two modes, but is it like. Like the crusty doll with the good and evil switch, or is there like.

[Mary Kish]

A in between negotiator and burn it down?

[Dan Ryckert]

Is there any in between?

[Mary Kish]

I. I think it is a switch in my brain. I've had that happen multiple times with police officers. I've also been pulled over the standard thing, like, Grub was saying, like, you're like, officer, how can we work this out? Like, you're trying to give tickets to bad people. I'm a good girl trying to go to college. How do we work this out? And he was like, yeah, verbatim.

[Jeff Grubb]

What?

[Mary Kish]

I said, I'm just a good girl trying to go to school. Can't we figure this out? And I'm being so sweet. And he goes, yeah. So we had a helicopter clock you going 95. And I was like, what did you.

[Dan Ryckert]

Did you.

[Mary Kish]

And he's just like, yeah, we have you clocked. It's in the sky. And I was like, well, that doesn't seem like a good use of my tax dollars, quite frankly.

[Dan Ryckert]

Brilliant master stroke of a strategy.

[Mary Kish]

And he's like, well, you're getting a ticket. And I was like, well, me then. See you later.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's like, you're clearly in the wrong.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it's not about that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I don't.

[Jeff Grubb]

You. I don't usually go to that place. I'm always like, all right. Like, if I get resigned, it's very much still all right. Like, okay, so I was working as a delivery driver at Jimmy Johnson Ohio State campus. And, you know, you gotta get these sandwiches to these assholes in the. In these buildings, and there's no place to park. It's a college campus and everywhere is a tow zone. So I'm like, always trying to find, like, okay, this is a little corner where I can. If I were to park it here and I were to get up there in like 30 seconds and get back, the car should still be okay. Not always. Like, they were. There were their sharks, their sharks on Ohio State campus, the tow truck drivers.

[Dan Ryckert]

And.

[Jeff Grubb]

But I. There was one where I'm like, this is a game night. It's game night. The cops are going to be busy. The. You know, so the tow truck drivers are going to be busy. I mean, and so I'm like, I'm going to go in here and I'm going to park this place. I know I can't park here, but they'll see the Jimmy John's logo on top. They'll know I'm just delivering a sandwich. I'll just come right back down, down. 30 seconds. I come back down, the truck is already getting ready to pull me away. So I hop in the car real quick, because you can't. You can't tow the truck if I'm in or tow the car if I'm in there. So I'm. I'm. I'm sitting in there, and he's like, I'm gonna have to call the cops on you. And I'm like, all right, fine, call the cops, man. I just want to drive my. You know, Jimmy John's is right there. They call the first of all. These people should just walk to get their sandwiches literally across the street. But I'm like, it's right there. Just let me go. And we're fine. They called the cops. And I'm like, talking the cops. And they're like, kind of like building. It's going to get worse and worse for you. I'm like, okay, look, what if I don't get out of the car? What happen? Happens, and the end. And they look at me like, we're gonna take this.

[Dan Ryckert]

This.

[Jeff Grubb]

Like, they're just like. Like, what kind of asshole even asks, asks a cop, like, what are the consequences of my next action? But they're just like, we're going to like, force this door open and we're going to arrest you and you're going to go to jail and all this stuff. I'm like. And they're like. I'm like, but why? Like, what am I doing wrong? And they're like, you're blocking the sidewalk. They had to, like, come up with something. And I'm like, I'm barely blocking the side, but so is he. He's like the one holding on to me. If he moves, I can move the sidewalk. And at that point, they were. They were just done with me. I'm like, okay, I'm resigned. Give me. I'll pay this guy the $85 he wanted so that he would just like, he wasn't going to tell me at that point. He's like, I'll just. Just pay me $85 and I'll let you go. Which, of course is just extortion. But I'm like, okay, cool. So that was just a night where I didn't make any money because that's about as much as hips at Jimmy Johnson.

[Mary Kish]

And I. Yeah, that sucks. To pay money when you're working and just know that that's.

[Jeff Grubb]

That's right. That's where like, like in my brand, like, I gotta do everything I can to avoid just paying, you know, $85. But like, again, that's how much you.

[Mary Kish]

Make in a night at that time in your life. $85 was everything. Like, I'll never forget my first waitressing job because that tips were cash, right? And you could walk out of there with. Walking out with $80. Cash was godlike. It was God tier. It was like, no one can touch me. I have $80. Get out of my way. I can see any movie in the world.

[Jeff Grubb]

I'm gonna go get a Game Boy advance game right now.

[Dan Ryckert]

I could buy three DVDs right now.

[Mary Kish]

Three DVDs.

[Jeff Grubb]

Virgin Megastore at Easton Mall. Watch out.

[Mary Kish]

They only increase in value. These are investment pieces.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's Criterion Collection. It'll be worth billions.

[Mary Kish]

I love every time you. You bring up, like a real place. I know where it is because I am from there too.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, right? Yes.

[Mary Kish]

I also remember trying to park in the OSU area and how insane it is. I have like, this isn't a parking story, but I have like a vivid memory of driving Saturday night, game night, and just. It was crowded and kind of stressful and the car in front of me was swerving. And I remember being like, I said to myself, that guy's drunk. I'm going to pass him. And so I passed him, and then I went to a stoplight, and I stopped, and then he hit me.

[Jeff Grubb]

Sounds about right. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

And I remember, like, he gets out and. And we're both like, what do we do here? And he was like, you can buff that out just like you would in, like, a cartoon or something. Like, I'm not dealing with your stupid ass. Let's all go home immediately. But now when I see someone swerving, I don't pass them. That's a lesson that I learned. I keep. I want them. I want them where I can see them.

[Dan Ryckert]

It scares me, though, because then it's like, at any point, what if they just. Yeah. Hit the brakes or swerve or something? Like, I'd rather just, like, real quick to pass them.

[Jeff Grubb]

And it depends on the situation. If there's a stop sign coming up or a light. Yeah, I'm. I'm with you now, Mary. But if it's on a freeway and I. And I know I could put significant distance, I will pass them and I'll.

[Mary Kish]

Get back, put them way behind highway. I pass them in a stopping situation, I'm, like, afraid of them. And that was.

[Jeff Grubb]

Try to keep them where you can see him. Yeah. Yep.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I said. I think I said it out loud. I'm gonna pass this guy. I do not think he's a good driver. Just immediately hit me, I think.

[Jeff Grubb]

I think later on that night when I was tripping, I realized the next day was Easter, and I was like, oh, I have to go have brunch with my parents. And then I. So I drove to their house, like, very, very much out of my mind. And, like, just kind of like. Like, like, crawled into their family room and fell asleep on the floor. And they're like, oh, you're here already. Let's go. They none the wiser. Never knew.

[Dan Ryckert]

Does it not occur to you when you took the acid that you.

[Jeff Grubb]

No, no, that's the future, Jeff. That. That's. That's. Come on. Don't you have that with, like, any of the stuff like ADHD with, like, if, like, a day from now might not exist at all? Like, that's like.

[Dan Ryckert]

I think I have some of that. But if I were to ever try something like acid, I think I would spend six months researching and finding. It'd be like I was about to raid, like, bin Laden's compound. I would have this, like, planned out multiple different, like, AI scenarios showing what would happen. Yeah, I could just be like, I'll Take acid and see how this goes.

[Jeff Grubb]

The first time I ever did it was my friend got it for my birthday. And. And I was like, I'm. You know, when am I going to do this? And he's like, if you don't take it now. And it was. This was like a couple weeks later where he was like, I have it. You still haven't taken it? I'm like, okay, yeah, I have to go to work at JCPenney. Actually, I work the overnight shift. And he's like, if you don't take it now, I'm going to take it. I'm like, all right, whatever. So I took it and I went over my overnight from 11pm to 8am shift at JCPenney. And it was. That was. I think by the time I got there, it kicked in. And I knew because the lady that worked there with me, the nice lady, was, like, surprised that I was there early because my brother dropped me off because I was always, like, showing up right when the clock started. And she was, like, so happy that I was there early, like, oh, he's going to finally be a good employee.

[Mary Kish]

What a good employee. He's smiling tonight.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah. And she says, hi, Jeff, how you doing? And I. I must have just gone. Tried to talk, and I had not tried to talk, and my tongue wasn't working anymore, and I could just see her face, like, oh, no.

[Dan Ryckert]

You worked, though.

[Jeff Grubb]

I worked the whole. I. Yeah. But I hid, like, for significant amounts of time in the bathroom and watched the bathroom, like, the stall wall, like, breath me and stuff like that. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, that's hell. I cannot. I couldn't imagine. I would never do.

[Jeff Grubb]

My phone. My phone broke. And I think that was just, like, a coincidence. But it felt like the universe was not letting it work. Like, it felt like. It felt like I must be doing something wrong. And so I, like, couldn't call my brother to come pick me up. And the shift had ended and, like, things were starting to, like, calm down in my brain. And so I had to, like, walk over to a, like, retail store that would actually have a pay phone phone. And I walked over to Meyer and I just, like, I called him and it's, like, very early, so he's not up because it's like a weekend and we're all a bunch of dirt bags. And so I'd, like, keep calling him. Eventually he answers, he's like, I'll be out there. And it took him a long time. So I'm, like, sleeping on the bench in the Meyer, like, vestibule. With my using my shoe as a pillow. He just walks like, come on, let's go. And it was fine. I threw my phone, I think. I think I threw my phone into like a ditch on the walk over there. I was.

[Dan Ryckert]

So if we ever invent a time machine, let's all summon our like 21 year old selves to make a podcast.

[Mary Kish]

Together and see what that is. You don't want that. He.

[Jeff Grubb]

She would demolish us. She would make. She would bully us so hard.

[Mary Kish]

A football team couldn't pull her off of you if you pissed her off.

[Dan Ryckert]

You guys want to talk about video games?

[Mary Kish]

Sure.

[Dan Ryckert]

Sure.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Dan Ryckert]

All right, we are back with video games. Now, Grub, you alluded to being in Disney in the last week, right? I'm sure we're going to hear about that on Giant Bomb in the near future.

[Jeff Grubb]

I. I was at Disney.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Had a real good.

[Mary Kish]

And you had a red wine.

[Jeff Grubb]

I did have a red wine. That's right. It was. We were at The Disney dining plan, actually. So we, me and Steph are like, we don't usually get alcoholic drinks at dinner, especially when we have the kids with us. But it was like we'd be wasting money if we didn't get an alcoholic drink. So we got whiskey and all kinds of stuff with everything.

[Mary Kish]

Wait, why would you be wasting money? Because all inclusive.

[Jeff Grubb]

It was all inclusive for this dining plan. And it's like you can get the entree and then you get a drink. So you can get a diet Coke or you can get this $15 cocktail, and we're like, wow.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, nice.

[Mary Kish]

I totally respect that though, because like, when, if I'm doing a first class flight, which is never, but like every once in a while you get upgraded or something lucky happens to you and your alcohol is like free. And they're constantly like, do you want anything like a mimosa? And I'm like, well, before the tenants.

[Jeff Grubb]

There being like, do you want something? Like, I better. Yeah. And then they're like, do you want this hot towel? I'm like, do I like. You definitely want the hot give you.

[Mary Kish]

Like meat and cheese plates. And you're like, I'm not even hungry. But yes.

[Dan Ryckert]

Doing Shake Shack burgers now in first class.

[Jeff Grubb]

Jesus.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. Yeah, it's awesome. All right, so grab. I bring up Disney because you said you had not heard our game of the year as a result of that.

[Jeff Grubb]

That is right. I have not heard your game of the year. I don't know anything about it.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay, perfect. Well, you know, all three of us, you know, you've heard the podcast, you know our thoughts on games. I want to do a little test here.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay.

[Dan Ryckert]

I've got a time, three minutes on my phone, and I'm looking at our final top 10 list. List. I want to see if you have three strikes, meaning you can say three games that are not on our top 10 before you're disqualified. Do you think you could hit our top ten?

[Jeff Grubb]

Wait, so, okay, so, okay, so if I say three games that are not on your top ten, that'll be three strikes.

[Dan Ryckert]

Three strikes, you're done. But you have three minutes to just try to name the ten. And I think passing grade is seven or above.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay. Yes. Let me. Can I look at a list of games that just came out this year so I can have something to pull from because otherwise I just will have a hard time remembering Bad brain.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay, well, if you're doing that, then you have to get eight. So just so you know, the passing grade is now eight.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay, that's Fair. Yeah, I'll take that. Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay. And still three strikes. All right, are you ready?

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, hang on, let me get this up. U.S. games of the year, just in general. Okay. Yeah. This list will help me out here. Okay.

[Dan Ryckert]

All right. Three minute timer, starting now.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay, let's go with some easy ones. Balatron.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yep.

[Jeff Grubb]

Astrobot.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yep.

[Jeff Grubb]

Let's see. Animal.

[Dan Ryckert]

Well, no, that is one strike.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay. I was counting on you for that movie.

[Mary Kish]

I fought. I fought for it, dude. But, like, Dan is such a loser.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, I gotta.

[Dan Ryckert]

I defended it more than mine.

[Jeff Grubb]

I gotta. I gotta keep that in mind that Dan's such a loser.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, keep that in mind with all of your picks, because there's a couple of real stinkers on there that Dan fought for.

[Jeff Grubb]

God, would you guys have put Shadow of the Erdtree on there? I don't know. Let me. Let me hold on to that one for a second. Would you guys have done it that early act? No, you would not have played Lorelai and the laser eyes.

[Dan Ryckert]

That's on there. Yep. That's number seven.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay. Oh, okay. I. I'm thinking of Dan. I got to think of you two. Metaphor. Refundasio.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yep.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay.

[Dan Ryckert]

Number 10. Number 10.

[Mary Kish]

Good job.

[Jeff Grubb]

Number 10.

[Mary Kish]

That's irrelevant. It is irrelevant what number it is.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay, I need a listen to this. Prince of Persia, the lost crown.

[Dan Ryckert]

Actually, I won't even tell you the numbers just in case you want to listen to it and not spoil it for you.

[Jeff Grubb]

The rise of the golden idol.

[Dan Ryckert]

No, that should have been above metaphor. Okay. Anyway, go ahead. That's two. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay, I'm kind of getting to guessing territory now. A Silent Hill 2.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, you're out, sir. That is a failing grade for sure.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

And that leads us to games. No, I don't think we need to do it because if anyone who hasn't watched the podcast would want to listen to it. So I'm going to stop you right there and just say, good try. I believe genuinely that if I would have finished Silent Hill 2, which I am currently playing, it would have been in that top 10. That is on me.

[Dan Ryckert]

Let's hear.

[Jeff Grubb]

I remember another games.

[Mary Kish]

Okay. It's phenomenal. It is so good. It is an absolute Die Hard, perfect remake of the original Silent Hill 2, which I must admit, I did not play as a kid. I actually played it for the first time with Nina Marie on a live stream. And we played it. It was called not so Silent Hills. And we played through every Silent Hill on the original console, and I played through every of the Silent Hills with her. And I loved Silent Hill 2. Like many people, I fell in love with it. So when the remake came out, I'd like to see how true of a remake it is. And it is genuinely such a perfect remake. They have done so many nice upgrades. It's really lovely that when you go to a door and it's locked, he just very quickly, like, opens up a little piece of paper and writes. And then when you check your map, it says, you can't go in that door. Or like, you need a special key. Very clean. How it makes you, like you really are there with these little extra details. The map is so easy to follow. I got lost a lot in that game. But with this map, it draws a circle when there's a puzzle and then a check mark when you've solved it. So, you know, when you're done with an area, it's so clean, you don't. You don't get stuck anymore.

[Dan Ryckert]

That's why I fell off the original one back in the days. I remember renting it with my friends, like, we're going to play this all weekend till we beat it. And we used to do that with Resident Evil and it was like we. We just fiddle farted around an apartment complex for hours and just locked doors and like, I don't know if it didn't have any version of that on the map or would fill in X's or, you know, red lines or whatever.

[Jeff Grubb]

What does Res do? Like the rooms turn green or something like that when you're done with them or whatever?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, something like that. But there's no hints, right? And in this one, he literally writes clock, you know, question. And so it's being way more clear what it is you're looking for and why. I think that they have found a way to connect the dots. It's still puzzly and I. You absolutely can still get lost. But the game is giving you so many more hints to just ease your way into saying, right, I'm looking for the big hand of the clock. And if I put it on the right time, it should open up a door. Like, it's. It's giving you enough guidance that you will figure it out if you're reading the notes and like, looking around. And so I. I just really appreciate the quality of life here. I also think that it is encouraging combat and, and interacting with the enemies more than the original. The original, I don't think they gave you very much ammo at all. Like, you were lucky to have five bullets in that game. And in this One I'm constantly finding between two and five bullets in every room, which is fantastic. It is encouraging me to actually fight the bad guys as opposed to just running away way. This might be debatable among players who would also say, like, it's scarier to run away from enemies because you have no way to fight them. I think it's terrifying to put me in a situation where you've given me what I need to kill an enemy, and now I'm like, well, I. I have to fight it. And so I'm just, like, throwing it, running around with a board with a nail in it, like, praying that I can take out these legs. The enemies are just as vile and disgusting. The visual changes that they've made. I mean, you can really see the poop in the toilet.

[Dan Ryckert]

A lot of gross holes in that game. I've been watching Kayla, and, yeah, there's just holes everywhere you look. And it.

[Mary Kish]

They love holes.

[Dan Ryckert]

Is it not quite like Resident Evil 4? Like, I know it's over the shoulder now, but it doesn't seem like it's suddenly like an action game the way, like, you know, from the first three re used to re 4. Right. It's still very much survival horror from.

[Mary Kish]

What it looks like, it's survival horror. But I do think that it is increased the amount that it is encouraging you to combat. And I even think that there's small changes to the animation of the character that is encouraging you to engage in combat. And I'll give you an example. You get a radio, and when an enemy is near, it makes, like, a noise. That's how you know you're right, because the radio is telling you that something gross is nearby. But in the new remake, not only does the radio do that, you pull out your wood with a nail in it.

[Dan Ryckert]

Like, he automatically does it.

[Mary Kish]

He pulls it out. You don't. You don't click a button. If you're near an enemy and you can hear it, like, mouth breathing, he pulls out the board in preparation. And I think that that alone mentally makes me be like, I'm a swing this board. If anything comes near me, I am. I'm, like, ready to go. And so I think it's. It's mentally kind of encouraging the character to fight. But 100% unlike a resident Evil, which I think is. You're pumping bullets into things. At least in the remakes. I think in the original Resident Evils, you also had to be very careful with your bullets. Like, super careful. This one is also just. You have to be cautious. You don't have that many bullets, but I think I had 20 bullets in the last playthrough of Silent Hill. I'm not through it, but I couldn't believe I had gotten up to 20 bullets. So, like, they want you to shoot in the butt. I say that because a lot of the characters do not have faces. And I don't know if a character doesn't have a head. If it's two legs on top of two legs. Where is the head shot?

[Dan Ryckert]

Genitalia area?

[Mary Kish]

Crotch.

[Dan Ryckert]

Two. Two crotch crotal areas? Yeah, just in between the legs. On both of them, right?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. It's. I don't know. So I just been shooting everywhere. I'm just shooting them all over. Anywhere I can shoot them now.

[Dan Ryckert]

I know, like, super fans of Silent Hill have. I guess there's a lot of themes and metaphors and so forth. And is it to just like, do. Do you. I just saw it as a game about a spooky town. I didn't realize what it was about or the psychology or metaphors. Do you playing through it have a read on what it's trying to say?

[Mary Kish]

It's very obtuse. And I think that I didn't fully understand it except for Nina, my friend, who was playing the original with me, was explaining some of the characters.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

And they all have fairly sad story. You come across characters and they'll be like, I'm looking for my mom. And then you'll be like, oh, that's a sad story. But I don't think they're ever really explicit about anything because they want you to feel like you're in this foggy dream town. So it's hard to really understand a lot of it. And also, like, why are you, like, constantly descending into hell? And what.

[Jeff Grubb]

Who.

[Mary Kish]

Who is Pyramid Head representing? I don' I don't think they've thought all that through.

[Dan Ryckert]

That's the thing. Watching Kayla stream it, I've seen the chat and it's like, well, okay, well, Pyramid Head is obviously a penis. And this boss, that is a door with arms and legs is actually about traumatic sexual memories. Because it's not a door, it's a bed. And I'm looking at it. I'm just like, I know I don't pick up on stuff very often, but it's like. I don't know if these are actually intended messages or what the. I don't know. But you say it is pretty obtuse.

[Mary Kish]

I think so. I don't think it's literally telling you much of anything at All. And most of the notes, like, I have a note in the game that's like, there's holes. I don't know what to do with all these holes. I guess I gotta keep digging. And it's like, is that sex? I don't know. Like, I don't know what you want.

[Dan Ryckert]

Not all holes are sex.

[Mary Kish]

It doesn't. Like, some of it is just very obtuse and obscure. And I think that that's scary in itself. And maybe much like a painting, to an expert, they would be like, you see, the flowers are all tiny vaginas. And you're like, oh, they are.

[Jeff Grubb]

They're always tiny vagina.

[Mary Kish]

But for the people who aren't super understanding of. Of descriptive art, we're just like, it looks good.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's a foggy, spooky town.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it's a. It's a scary town.

[Jeff Grubb]

It works on both levels though, right? Like, I think that's where, like, the best stuff can be interpreted any way. Where it's like, if someone wants to dive into deep and they want to connect the dots, if they want to dive into the holes deep, they can enjoy themselves. And if they want to just be like, this is a foggy, spooky town, if it's fun that way as well, that's a good game.

[Dan Ryckert]

I'm trying to think if there's ever been anything in art or otherwise that I've interpreted in two different ways.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, I mean, I think probably not magic, but I think it can be.

[Dan Ryckert]

A cool pattern or it could be a boat if you look at it weird. Yeah. There's gotta be like a movie I love that's like, so clearly a metaphor for, like, is the Shining about something beyond a guy going crazy and want to kill his family?

[Jeff Grubb]

I haven't seen the Shining, which I know I need to see, but. But I know, I know. I meant to fix that during Halloween, but I got too busy. The Matrix. If you don't see that the Matrix is a metaphor for like, capitalism and people being in a system to control.

[Dan Ryckert]

Matrix is about control.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah, but like, the systems that control us, like, for like. Like you are just a battery charging this other system that's above you. You're just a person working in the capitalist system, making sure that the system above you, like, continues to run, but you are just replaceable and you don't really matter to it. Yeah, like, I guess I didn't.

[Dan Ryckert]

I did not think about it on that level.

[Jeff Grubb]

I just thought, right, that's in. That's the most, like, in Your face metaphor movie that you might like.

[Dan Ryckert]

I've always seen 20, 25 times. It's only one of my favorite movies.

[Jeff Grubb]

Give it another 20 or 25.

[Mary Kish]

I never really thought about that with as a battery.

[Dan Ryckert]

I thought a lot about how cool it was when he dodged those bullets. So I do think deeply about it. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

But I think the Matrix is a good example of, like, that just rules.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, that's just a good action movie.

[Jeff Grubb]

Who cares? But also, then I do care and I can enjoy both ways. That's all.

[Dan Ryckert]

Is Face Off a metaphor for something?

[Jeff Grubb]

I mean, yeah, because like. Like, what really makes a person a criminal versus a cop? And. And if you were to swap bodies, like. Like, do you. Do you take on some of the characteristics of the criminal that you've been chasing? Like, what really separates these two men if you put him in his body. Body. Like, what remains that is good and what remain, what becomes evil in him and stuff like that. Yeah, that's a classic trope in cop versus robber fiction sort of stuff. Yeah, right.

[Mary Kish]

Or how about any zombie movie about how the real enemies are the people. Yes, all the time.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

Maybe that's why I don't think I like metaphors most of the time, because I remember, like, Walking Dead. I hated that game so much when everybody was giving a game of the year. And there's like, oh, it's so deep, though, because it's like, we're the. You know, we're the walking dead. It's like, oh, shut up. Like, I think I just hate that, you know? Yeah, shut up.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, that.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. Huh. Okay, well, I gotta start thinking about that with the Matrix. I bet there's, like, papers written about it or something.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, there definitely are. Yes. The whole books, in fact.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, I already. I like that movie a lot. Maybe that'd be a fun one to look again.

[Jeff Grubb]

The point is, if you don't find that stuff enjoyable, don't do it.

[Dan Ryckert]

Don't force it. Interesting. Like, considering that there was that much more to it than cool action, I.

[Jeff Grubb]

I find it very entertaining to like because it feels like I'm, like, almost playing a game with the movie or the book or whatever, where it's like, I. I get to engage what they're throwing out there. I could see how I feel about it and try to think, are there deeper connections here? And I'm like, exploring the space. But also, if it's a good action movie on top of that or whatever, if it's doing good genre stuff, then I'll just enjoy that as well, do.

[Dan Ryckert]

You think if I went to class in film school I would know this stuff?

[Jeff Grubb]

I don't know.

[Dan Ryckert]

I do have. I did go to film school.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, you did go and you got it. Well, no, you didn't just go to film school. You have a film.

[Dan Ryckert]

I've agree.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, I, I don't know. I, I again, I think a lot of stuff comes down to just how like when you hand something to somebody, they're gonna react the way they react because of who they are. And I don't know if you're being.

[Mary Kish]

So nice about this. You have a film degree and you don't know what a metaphor is you're watching.

[Dan Ryckert]

I just don't know them when I see them.

[Mary Kish]

I don't think you do. Then I don't know if you've really put together thing.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's a thing, but it's representing another thing. Sneaky style, right?

[Jeff Grubb]

I believe I did read that in some of the theory that I read. Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

If that was a paper, I would have given you a D minus.

[Dan Ryckert]

No, I flesh it out and pat it out and change the line spacing to make it a paper.

[Mary Kish]

You know, in this paper I am going to show you how the thing in a thing disguised as another thing.

[Dan Ryckert]

Is what we should maybe try to do. I think I have a folder in my drive of all my old papers that I did actually do. I think I wrote a paper about Fight Club and how deep it was. Should I buy how you read?

[Mary Kish]

That's brutal.

[Dan Ryckert]

I might be setting myself up almost.

[Jeff Grubb]

As good as Ernest Klein's poetry. I bet.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, I might be setting myself up for a Mike Mahardi style embarrassing old piece of writing here.

[Jeff Grubb]

But let me see.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay, sorry. Let me toss. While I'm looking for this, I will be able to find it. Let's toss over to grub. You've been playing Rise of the Golden Idol.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah. I started before my vacation and I didn't have any time for games on my vacation. Came back and was like, okay, I gotta like I was in the middle of this auction scene. Let me see if I could piece things together that kind of. It's really good. They got it. They do a cool thing with like, hey, the time is different and. And then I started realizing the whole chapter had some like time markers and dates. So I had to start piecing that stuff together. That was really fun. The game is incredible still. I really like it. But it is maybe a little bit more difficult to play when I'm like, I Do have the kids around and it's like, oh, they need something. I got to put this down and come back to it. And so I'm playing in like 20 minute chunks a lot of times. And I. I'm not a note taker in a lot of stuff. I don't take notes. I try to, like, keep it all in my head, which I'm. I am admittedly also bad at. But, like, I try to. And so when they come, it's like that all comes tumbling down and just seeps out my ears and I have to, like, start from scratch a lot of times when I come back. But that could be helpful because now I'm like, looking at stuff from a new direction. And that has occasionally caused me to have some insights I did not have before.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, I would find, like, I wouldn't start a new one unless it's like, all right, I have at least an hour here to really spend some time with this because, like, if I leave for a couple days and come back, I'm going to forget everything. And like, I wish it was organized a little bit better where it's like, you know, you saw something on one index card or piece of paper or something forever ago and then you, you lose track and it's just like, how do I. Like, it's not. There's not like a filing system that works really well, you know?

[Jeff Grubb]

Right. Yeah. So it's like, I have to, like, I know I saw that somewhere, so let's go see where I can find it. And that could be a little frustrating at times. But mostly I'm just like, no, I think it's here and if it's not there, it's like, okay, then it's probably there and so I'll find it. But I just, I mean, I really appreciate the way the game makes you feel like a detective because, like, there are. This is like, you know, just the, oh, this neighbor lives next to this person. His house is white and all that stuff. It's one of those logic games. But by making it a video game, even a static scene video game, it can do so much visually and just make you feel like when you notice something that matters, that you are someone that's paying attention and you are in that detective mindset set. And every time one of those revelations hits, I. It never gets old for me. So, yeah, I continue to be like, yeah, these are my kinds of games. Very much into it. Really enjoying it still.

[Dan Ryckert]

What chapter you on?

[Jeff Grubb]

I. I just got. I'm like a little bit into chapter three. Now because again, I put it down a week and a half ago and haven't been able to touch it. And so I'm like, I just got into chapter three earlier today.

[Dan Ryckert]

Have you played much on the Steam deck or are you mainly like on a computer?

[Jeff Grubb]

Almost all on the Steam deck, actually. I play. You know, I did play some on the computer today, but mostly all on the Steam deck. I just switched over to a touchpad turned into a mouse and it works well.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, you're doing touchpad okay. Yeah, because I was going back and forth between trying to get like the stick working well and then also the trackpad seemed like trackpad was the best bet with like R2 as the click and drag. Basically.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah. If I want to just click quick, I'll just click in the trackpad. But if I need to drag something, I'm using the R2. Yeah, sure. And then that it's worked great. You know, it's not as intuitive as using a mouse, but for having it, having it on the go and be able to keep it with me and treating it like a little novel or whatever, whatever, it's been good for that. But yeah, I just hope, I hope, hope they make a ton of these. They're apparently going to put a ton of DLC for this game next year. So I'll be there for all of it.

[Dan Ryckert]

I never did the DLC for the last one and like, I do feel like by the end of this one it was so kind of difficult and I kind of just looked up a couple of the like last ones that I would love to go back to the first games DLC and just be like, okay, let's. I'd like to go back to like a simpler one, you know?

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah. I also, like, I'm like, I'm into the lore of the games in a way that I don't usually get into with. With these kinds of things. But. But I'm like, I recognize this guy from the last game and I wonder like what happened here. I wonder if some of that stuff is covered in the dlc. So I'm going to go back and play that too. I played some. I started it, but I didn't finish it.

[Dan Ryckert]

Nice. All right, Mary, you. You're still working specifically on Mortal and UFO 50?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. Have you done one yet? Why don't you do one?

[Dan Ryckert]

I'll do one. Let's do. I only have. I got a couple. I don't have a lot more to say about Call of Duty other than what I've said before is that it's just absolutely fantastic.

[Jeff Grubb]

Did I hear you or see you say that you got the shark skin? Maybe. It was in chat this morning.

[Dan Ryckert]

I'm a big shark man with a suit now and I've got guns that have water on them. It's very stupid and I love it very much. So my two guys are. I'm Peter Stormer on the left faction and I'm a shark man on the right. And it's the right level of stupid for me. I. I think it's fantastic.

[Jeff Grubb]

I like that a lot.

[Dan Ryckert]

And then we streamed a little bit of zombies on Giant Bomb and that seemed very fun in a way that, like, I didn't really gravitate towards zombies, but this felt really fleshed out and solid. So I kind of want to do more of it. But yeah, that's just update that. Like, that is one of the main games I'm playing right now. But the main game I've been playing the last three days is I am fully back into the Vampire Survivors hole to the point where it's like, this is now the fourth time I've restarted this game. And keep in mind, I had gone through all of this and all the DLC on Xbox on one Steam account and on Switch. I believe I probably put over over 30 hours, maybe upwards of 50, 60 on the PC before. But I have a different Steam account now with all the DLC on it, so I had to restart. And I was like, well, I gotta get all the old stuff before I go to Castlevania. I don't want to go in there, you know, like, kneecapped here. So I've been going through all the old stuff. There's like 300 fucking challenges. I'm doing like one by one by one by one. And also, like, dipping out of the Castlevania stage every once in a while. The Castlevania stuff is so cool. It is this giant map that's designed after. It's all like the classic, like, here's the clock tap. Here's all these outside the castle, inside the castle, going up the stairs to where Dracula is. It's very like, Symphony seems to be the one it draws most inspiration from, which makes sense. And there's so many characters to unlock, all the weapons, the evolutions. It's like more than the base game had. So it is just one map, but it's huge and has numerous almost stages to it where it's like you beat this boss fight and then you get this item that'll unlock this door and you can move past and it unlocks, like, a warp zone, like an actual Castlevania, where it's unlocking the different warp zones. So now I can just warp and go straight to. To the clock tower instead of having to fight my way there. So it's just. I'm. I'm fully on board again. Planning on the Steam deck a lot. I'm gonna be on a flight tomorrow, and I just can't wait to, like, have it melt away in no time with vampire survivors. So I. I really think this is one of my favorite games of the last 10 years at this point. That I can keep picking it up and starting it brand new and having just as much fun with it, but it's so finally tuned to, like, being the most dewy dopamine bullshit game in the world. And I love it for it.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. What do you think the metaphor is of vampire survivors? Like, what's it saying?

[Dan Ryckert]

I think the game is saying that video games are fun, and I don't think there are any metaphors with vampire fiction.

[Jeff Grubb]

No, Never has been. No.

[Mary Kish]

That's the crazy thing about vampires. There's no metaphor. They just are.

[Dan Ryckert]

I'm missing sarcasm, so I'm gonna guess it's a sex thing. Are vampires a sex thing?

[Jeff Grubb]

Occasionally? Look, maybe less just the perverted ones.

[Dan Ryckert]

Let me dial it back. I've read Bram Stoker's Dracula. I love that book. Do you think Bram Stoker, in his mind when he was thinking about this Dracula lore is like, I'm gonna. It's about sex, really?

[Jeff Grubb]

I think that it doesn't matter in that case, because. Because humans are so, like, saturated in sexual desire that almost anything they create, that stuff comes through. And when you deal with characters that are, like, taking fluids from another human being and that's, like, their main way of doing things. Like, there is a inherent sexual sexuality to that stuff.

[Mary Kish]

Sucking fluid from each other. Dan.

[Dan Ryckert]

But not if Bram Stoker didn't mean that.

[Jeff Grubb]

No, that doesn't matter.

[Dan Ryckert]

Someone just being filthy.

[Jeff Grubb]

No, that doesn't matter. That. Especially in that case. That. Do you want to hear if I could always come up. I feel like, with a metaphor for anything. Right.

[Dan Ryckert]

So it's like, tell me why the Rock is about. About blowjobs.

[Jeff Grubb]

Well, okay, That's. That's not exactly what I meant.

[Mary Kish]

You can't force two points.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, look, I was getting pretty cocky. I can do anything with a metaphor.

[Jeff Grubb]

I was saying I. I could come up with a metaphor for vampire survivors, right? Where it's like, it's not. Not about, like, the set Dressing. It's about like, okay, a game where you. You move around like. Like in the same way that jazz, like can can doesn't have like lyrics. Right. But you could still makes you feel stuff and like, it begin. Makes your brain feel things. When you're playing this game, it's like, okay. It's my relationship to moving through space and trying to manage the onslaught of just never ending stress. And that is very much like life and your ability to be able to take all that information at one time and move around and become like, move with the flow of that energy and move around things. You get into that feeling and that can be very similar to like, okay, if I just sort of let things go in life and I try to move with the flow. This is replicating that to a certain degree. And I definitely feel that way with games like that or Tetris. And yeah, that's the kind of thing where I would be like, I like to think about that sort of thing with games like this.

[Dan Ryckert]

But did Ponkle play it on that?

[Jeff Grubb]

The guy doesn't matter.

[Dan Ryckert]

Then it didn't mean.

[Jeff Grubb]

Pongel did mean that one, actually. Yes.

[Dan Ryckert]

I just feel that the creator didn't intend it. It's just people saying a bunch of words.

[Mary Kish]

But that's the thing is we're talking about the art and the artist and then the interpretation of the art. So.

[Dan Ryckert]

But they're wrong. If it wasn't intended, it's not.

[Mary Kish]

That's actually not accurate. Because once the art is in the world, the interpretation can take on a life of its own.

[Jeff Grubb]

Like, yeah, all that matters to me is how I feel. Like I don't care what he felt when he made it.

[Mary Kish]

It doesn't matter what the art. It does matter what the artist intended. But at some point, how you interpret the art wins because it's your interpretation.

[Dan Ryckert]

Interpret the matrix without understanding any of what it's trying to say. Yeah, yeah, I'm interpreting it in my own reality.

[Mary Kish]

All writers are crying when they realize that they cannot guess. Get the message through to you.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

All writers, huh? I. I know what it's like to be a writer. I held up two of my books that I put out.

[Mary Kish]

Those are C minus.

[Dan Ryckert]

I feel like as. As someone who's put out books and has a film, I might be the authority on this podcast about this published, published author.

[Mary Kish]

We'll see after we read that review on what the theme of Fight Club was.

[Dan Ryckert]

I gotta find it. I can't find it on this computer. I think on a hard drive. Right Here. But during the break, I'll plug it in, because I bet it's real bad during the break, I'll grab it real quick. All right, cool. That was me talking about Castlevania. And then real quick, before we go to UFO 50, I'll just mention a postmortem here of Astrobot, because we had talked since we found out this game existed. Specifically Grub. And I am Anati and others that wanted to speak. Speedrun it. What. What are your thoughts now that it's all said and done? Grub, because I know you kind of fell off, I don't know if you intend on going back in.

[Jeff Grubb]

I do. Yeah. I just got super busy. Yeah, I. Because it was, like, when I was playing, it was like, all my time was going towards that, and I couldn't, like, maintain that because I went to your house, we did the fundraiser, and since then, it's been hard to make it make sense because I'm like, I knew I had the Disney trip coming up, and there was other stuff happening with work that we have all these meetings and stuff like that. So it got to a point where I was like, okay, I need to, like, wait until we get on the other side of this. And in my mind, it was like, when I get back from Disney. So now I'm here, and I'm like, okay, I have three levels that I need to spend a lot of time with. I'll just go in there, I'll play them, I'll try to set a good time and all of those, see where I land on the global leaderboard, and then start looking for places where I can draw time and try to get down as much as possible. Where are you at, like, globally for that overarching leaderboard?

[Dan Ryckert]

Do you know, last I played, it was like, a day or two after that last level came out, and at the time, I did break into the top hundred of the overall. And then I think pretty quickly, I think within a few hours, that first day, I fell out. So if I were to guess, I'm probably between, like, 300 and 500 right now. Okay. But, yeah, I'm so glad that they added that cumulative thing, because that is something where it's, like, huge. Oh, for now I can hang my hat on. And we're like, oh, you might. You know, Vitaly, you might have me beat on this one. But cumulative, you know, Like, I'm the real winner here, so.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And it's true, because I, like, that's a big part of. It's like having the Bill, the ability to like perform in all the levels is something that I think I treasure as well. So I'm gonna. I'm going back into it. I want to play a lot of it. I might play a lot over Thanksgiving break here. We got some days off. Might try to like, yeah, get, get something done there. That's one where it's like now, now that it's all out, I could just stream that and play those levels over and over again. So I try to make that happen. But. But I like how I feel about it. Overall is like, I think they did a pretty good job. I like all the levels they had. I think that they played around with the gimmicks in the right way. They used a nice spread of different kinds of tricks and then they had tricks within those levels of like, okay, think about using the ice skating stuff in a way that you didn't before. It's like, yeah, okay, fantastic jump off.

[Dan Ryckert]

Elements in the environment. This whale will bop your head up.

[Jeff Grubb]

And have them like, clearly, like, oh, they thought about all this stuff and they built a really cool speedrunning level. It's. You don't get that from a lot of big developers where they take their games, they're made one way and like, let's think about it. If you were trying to do this as fast as possible, like really as fast as possible, what could we do here? And they did. And they do what they did with the entire game. They made an amazing experience that you just kind of can't get anywhere else.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think we're of the same mind about it and I would love to. If you get into those later levels, I'd love to. To get back in there and go against you.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's happened. I think. Let's. Let's start it back up again. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Who's one more speed challenges between the two of you? Like who. Who's. Who has more number ones Now?

[Dan Ryckert]

I'll break kayfabe a little bit here and say that I have bullshitted and acted like I've beaten Grub at Elements of the first Astrobot.

[Mary Kish]

Nobody can beat Grub. I brought this up just to hurt you.

[Dan Ryckert]

Well, no, that was just a preface. I was going to give him that one because it is true. He. He was much better than me at the first level of this current game and kind of all the old ones at this point. But right now, as of this recording, I do believe I have the best cumulative time. Probably because the other guys haven't played the other levels.

[Jeff Grubb]

But yeah, and yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Was he not on the leaderboard? Because that doesn't happen.

[Dan Ryckert]

Not true.

[Jeff Grubb]

I think you still have me beat on the third one, which I was having trouble with. So I'm like that. I think that's one of the things where it's like, this is going to take time to, like, really learn this, and I don't have that right now. And that was like, oh, God. So I need to just put this aside because it's going to stress me out if I start thinking about it.

[Dan Ryckert]

I love how Kayla approached that where it's like, she did that first level and recognized quickly like, oh, I'm good at this, but this is going to be so frustrating and takes so much fucking time that, like, she just bowed out after that first one.

[Jeff Grubb]

Well, I mean, to be. Let's be clear, what happened there? I broke her. All right. Like, she tried.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, you did.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

She's seen like an eight hour stream.

[Jeff Grubb]

Of trying to beat my time the last time I said on that, and she couldn't do it and then she was done.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's true. Yeah, I do.

[Jeff Grubb]

I. Hey, I feel bad, but I don't actually. So she did cut your hair?

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, she did.

[Jeff Grubb]

Because she got her revenge.

[Dan Ryckert]

That's true. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Cut my hair in a gingerbread man suit.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, That's a good streak. You were both in my place for long streams recently for the kids. Yes. All right, Mary, so UFO 50, we talked about the bit at game of the year, but have you just, like fully honed in on one game?

[Mary Kish]

I'm just playing a little bit more of it. This was like a thinner week for all of us. So it's like I'm bringing it up because I did put probably four more hours into Mortal, which is a very specific game. I think it's the best game in UFO 50. There's a lot that I don't like. There's maybe less than 10 that I'm like, hey, I could play these.

[Dan Ryckert]

Sure.

[Mary Kish]

And Mortal is like the one where I'm like, they had something here. This is a cool concept. It's a fun gimmick where you like your men coming down from a plane and you have to either. You have to die to get through these levels and you either have to explode, turn into a rock, and there's lots of different ways you can die and it's educating you each level. I don't know how far you both have gotten, but in the later level.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, a few levels maybe.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It's getting psychotic. I'm. I I've made it to the final level, and it is very difficult. You have to. To save your men. So I've replayed levels one through six.

[Jeff Grubb]

Like, right, because you're the number of men that the number of lives you have carries over, it retains. So if you play better, you'll have more men to. For the next round.

[Mary Kish]

Correct. And to the game's credit, let's say I. I've played it really well, and I play level three again, and I do worse. It takes my best score, okay? So I don't ruin anything by trying it again.

[Jeff Grubb]

So if you, like, played through, like, you know, level five and you went back to level two and replayed that, would that get added on top, or would you have to then go play 3, 4, 5 again?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I think it's cumulative where at the end of a level, it says whether you added men or lost men.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

And so, like, every time you play, there's a certain amount of men you can gain, and then you're. You have to get rid of some of them, of course. But towards the end, at the. If you go to the level on the right, it'll say plus seven, plus eight, minus 20. And so you want those to all be in the plus. And so the game knows if you go back and play two and now you're plus 12, it knows to just add those cumulatively.

[Jeff Grubb]

I like that a lot.

[Mary Kish]

It's really nice. So it's clean because you. You do get a little tired playing the same goddamn level. But I've gotten really good at certain levels, levels where I've uncovered the mechanic of what they wanted me to do. And that's really neat. When you, like, see the level design, you're like, why? Why is that there? And it's like, oh, my God, if I clog this drain, it drains the lake, which kills the fish. And when you kill enemies, you get men back, baby.

[Jeff Grubb]

Hell, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I'mma teach you. So, like, there's other ways you can manipulate the space as well. There's platforms. When you stand on them, they fall. And if you turn into a rock and then you stand on your man and an enemy is coming, you can just hit it on the top of its head and you kill it. And you get a man back. And it's shooting men, it's shooting enemies at you. So you could just constantly kill them. And at some point, the game's like, oh, you've. You figured this out? And it stops sending enemies at you because you've accumulated three men out of it. And Set of.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, that's.

[Mary Kish]

It's interesting. It, it, it, it's got a lot of layers to it and so there's some really interesting mechanics later on. So like I said, they, they get this like really fun. I don't think you've gotten to the fish then the fish are freaking crazy because they eat you and they digest you. There's no body. So you don't get to utilize your deadness like you have. Oh, you have to avoid getting eaten or it's a waste of a body body. And then there's areas in the, in the game where the only way to get out of the water because it's maybe like two steps high, you have to drown, which is really interesting. And then you can stand on your dead drown corpse.

[Dan Ryckert]

That reminds me of like you play the Swapper exploits.

[Jeff Grubb]

I don't think I played Swapper.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, that was the thing where it's like very similar early 2010s, but you, you were basically. It was a sci fi type thing where you would die, but then you could like use the stuff you did before and you know, jump on your corpse and stuff like. Like that.

[Mary Kish]

That's mechanic. They steal these mechanics.

[Dan Ryckert]

No, I mean there's things done like, you know, Ratchet and Clank. One of them on PS3 had the thing where it's like the Clank levels where you would like record Clank doing something and then you'd start as another Clank and then like, you know, do the things concurrently. It's hard to explain, but yeah. Yeah, this felt like a weird, like almost Lemmings type take on it. Like a retro take on this concept.

[Mary Kish]

It's getting smart. Yeah, it's getting really interesting now.

[Dan Ryckert]

I checked to see if there's Speedrun leaderboards for this and yes, the number one has beaten this game in 16 minutes and 41 seconds.

[Jeff Grubb]

Wow.

[Dan Ryckert]

I kind of want to watch that.

[Jeff Grubb]

Mary, have you played Mortal two at all?

[Mary Kish]

Okay, there's a second one.

[Dan Ryckert]

They made a sequel to Mortal.

[Mary Kish]

What? How is that possible?

[Dan Ryckert]

It's.

[Jeff Grubb]

I. Yeah, I was like. I guess like, are you worried about like spoilers of like the lineage of games inside UFO 50? I don't know how precious you. Okay. So yeah, there's. Yeah, there's a lot of sequels to, to the games earlier in the UFO like library that show up later in UFO 50.

[Mary Kish]

Not a lot interesting. That's cool. I'd like to. I'd like to. This is like the one that's hooked me. I haven't gotten hooked by any of these games, that much I've. I've enjoyed some. I played Party House or Party Whatever. The one that you like.

[Jeff Grubb]

I have not touched that one yet.

[Mary Kish]

It's okay. I think it's fine. I don't think it's bad. I think it's fine. I've played it and was, like, interested, trying to beat it, but nothing's gripped me like Mortal mortals.

[Jeff Grubb]

Very good.

[Dan Ryckert]

Mortal.

[Jeff Grubb]

Did you do the really fun game, the alien clicker one?

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, that one's fun.

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

I've played all 50. I've been through all 50, but I think some of them I was like, whatever, and like. Like, quit within, like, two minutes. A low tolerance. When I was just like, I'm not learning all this. Like, that's not happening.

[Dan Ryckert]

The second I, like, had to go to a town and talk to someone, I was like, this feels like a jrpg. I need to get out of here.

[Mary Kish]

There's a lot of backstories. How does one feel intertwined with another reality? And dance, like, back up, back.

[Dan Ryckert]

I see what you're doing here. I'm not going to fall for it.

[Mary Kish]

No metaphors for this guy.

[Jeff Grubb]

One of the things I like about UFO 50 with the sequel stuff is, like, a lot of them are like, oh, this is made by the same team. They'll have, like, either. Either the real team or the fictional teams, like, listed on the copyright. And there's a couple where it's like, this is the sequel, but it's made by a different team. So I'm like, is this going to be a very different game? And I think, yeah, they'll say sometimes that's the way they'll do it.

[Dan Ryckert]

So some Snakes Revenge stuff where it's like, here's Metal Gear. But then Snakes Revenge wasn't Kojima, you know, Like, I think it almost exactly like that.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, exactly. And it's like, there's, like. There's a lot of cool attention to detail on that side of things that I really appreciate about UFO 50. That's another one that I just. God, I need so much more time to explore all that stuff that I haven't been able to appreciate it.

[Mary Kish]

For Foley, it's crazy that with the amount of. Not that I put that many hours, but for, like, putting eight to 10 hours into. Into Mortal. I still can't beat it. I have to put more time into. I need to save more men in levels five through eight, because the final two are. There's no longer a plane. That's the crazy one. Now you know how, like, when you die, you just drop right out of the plane.

[Jeff Grubb]

Right?

[Mary Kish]

Okay. In the last two levels, you come out of like a little hole. And if you die, it goes all the way back to the hole.

[Dan Ryckert]

So you got.

[Jeff Grubb]

You gotta go.

[Mary Kish]

You gotta go through a lot of places. And there are checkpoints. There's checkpoints, but it's fewer and further between. So it's a lot easier for you to just burn through good men and just waves and waves of good men have lost their lives.

[Dan Ryckert]

Metaphor for war, you know, I think the real.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, the real loss is that we were the men the whole time.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Grubb]

Wow.

[Mary Kish]

Problem.

[Jeff Grubb]

Wow, man. You think they intended that?

[Dan Ryckert]

Damn, they must have. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It's about sex.

[Jeff Grubb]

Mortal is about blow jobs, about blowjobs and holes.

[Mary Kish]

Those guys are all. We know.

[Dan Ryckert]

They're all in the plane just going nuts.

[Jeff Grubb]

Clearly a penis. Just look at it. Come on.

[Mary Kish]

I'm going hard. Yeah, that's 100%. Is that what it's all about?

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay, I've seen it. All right. I'm educated now. All right, that is it for our games this week. We do have some emails coming up and I will grab this hard drive here and see if I can embarrass myself. We will be back very soon.

[Jeff Grubb]

It is Ryan Seacrest here. There was a recent social media trend.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Which consisted of flying on a plane.

[Jeff Grubb]

With no music, no movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going to chumbacassino.com it's like having a mini social casino in your pocket. Chumba casino has over 100 online casino style games, all absolutely free. It's the most fun you can have online and on a plane. So grab your free welcome bonus [e-mail] sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary vgw group void where prohibited by law 18 + terms and conditions apply.

[Dan Ryckert]

All right, we're back. And I have found my paper from theater and film 283, my class at the University of Kansas. So this is. Let's see if I understood film and metaphor for in 2002. This is my paper. Jack's Smirking Revenge. An analysis of Fight Club. All right. Fight Club is a film that speaks directly to its generation.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, doesn't it?

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh, no.

[Dan Ryckert]

Millions of skeptical, pessimistic young men and women cite Fight Club as their favorite movie of all time. Okay, there's no source on this. I don't know where I got that.

[Jeff Grubb]

Someone did that mean what I can.

[Mary Kish]

Say defines Fight Club because it seems.

[Dan Ryckert]

To transcend what movies generally contribute Contribute to the mindset of the viewer. It is a film that has changed countless outlooks on life and contributed to many personal philosophies. One of the.

[Mary Kish]

No source.

[Dan Ryckert]

No, no. There's no sources on this paper. There's no bibliography or anything. One of the most brutally honest movies ever made. Fight Club spoke to our generation bitter about countless promises of a successful life contrasted with the truth of reality. It spreads its message through a complex maze of unique editing techniques, wonderful acting, perfect lighting, and one of the most effective and memorable twists in movie history. Okay, I'll skip this just for the sake of brevity. This is a Call of Duty thing.

[Jeff Grubb]

It does sound like you're bullshitting. It does sound like you.

[Dan Ryckert]

Complete bullshit.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yes, you are just like. Yeah. You're like, what are some things it does? It has.

[Mary Kish]

I need a third thing.

[Dan Ryckert]

I got quotes.

[Mary Kish]

It's really good acting. It's got hot sex scenes.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's got editing, lights and actors. Come on. They didn't do that in movies until Fight Club.

[Dan Ryckert]

I think I'm getting deep again here. In another break from the norm, the protagonist of the film is a very flawed human being. It was the first movie to have.

[Jeff Grubb]

A flawed protagonist, a flawed character in a movie.

[Mary Kish]

I might even say he's almost some kind of anti hero.

[Dan Ryckert]

Why is it here? It's similar to A Clockwork Orange Because Edward Norton is a man who is so depressed about his own life, he frequents self help seminars for people with terminal cancer so he can feel better about his own. There are no heroes or villains in Fight Club, only individuality versus conformity.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Grubb]

All right. It does sound a lot like any conversation you would have had with someone about Fight Club in college.

[Dan Ryckert]

Like, I was that. I was that kid who watched a bunch of Tarantino movies in high school, thought I understood movies, saw some Kubrick stuff, and then. Yeah, okay, now I'm just saying, like, basically, the lighting's good, the soundtrack's good.

[Mary Kish]

You didn't say it was good. You said the lighting was perfect.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, literally all of my short films and shows and stuff I did in college, I did not want. I didn't use lights because they seemed like too much of a hassle. It all looks like. Okay, because of this reason. Okay. Rare occurrence of a film that's noticeably better upon a second viewing. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Let me see if I get deep in the final paragraph. Okay, Final paragraph.

[Mary Kish]

In conclusion.

[Dan Ryckert]

In conclusion, this film could have easily been just another that simply tries to add to an individual's personal philosophy, but it is proposed and produced in such a way that makes it stand far out from thematically similar film films. It avoided this by using big name stars, intriguing marketing, and an entirely unique package of filmmaking. What does that mean? It is a film that doesn't seem to borrow from any others. Rather, it invents its own in an effort to spread its ideals. Every detail of the film's production is unique to Fight Club and Fight Club alone. It is through these measures that the message of this movie has reached so many people. Note, I'd never. What is the message that I'm talking about?

[Jeff Grubb]

It sounds like you never mentioned it. I don't think you did.

[Dan Ryckert]

I don't think I did either. Wow. That sucks shit.

[Mary Kish]

D minus.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, I mean, I think at a certain point it's like, yeah, you're a professor. You get a paper like that, you see a million like that. What do you do? You're like, yeah, another one of these.

[Dan Ryckert]

Fight Club. Whatever.

[Jeff Grubb]

Exactly.

[Mary Kish]

You fucking did like that Poor professor probably had to read so many.

[Jeff Grubb]

Why?

[Mary Kish]

Fight Club is really fucking cool. Dot doc from a bunch of kids.

[Dan Ryckert]

Who did not understand that it was supposed to be satire and those guys were supposed to suck.

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh, I definitely. I definitely had a community college professor that was like, you can write about any movie except Fight Club.

[Dan Ryckert]

Really?

[Jeff Grubb]

Like that 1 million percent happen too.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it's. It's exhausting. And people are wrong. I don't understand.

[Dan Ryckert]

Jesus, I bet I was insufferable.

[Jeff Grubb]

Talking about movies, I. I mean, it just sounds like you're. You wrote a paper to get a grade. Like that's what that paper sounds like.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yes, that's 100%, and that's what it was.

[Jeff Grubb]

And so to me, it's like, this is like a minor speeding ticket and douchebaggery. Like, that's it. Like, this is not that bad.

[Dan Ryckert]

So compared to Mahardi's about the author, I'm. I'm looking better here.

[Jeff Grubb]

Listen, I don't have to throw Mahardi under the bus. This is your show. That's where you do that. You can do that.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay.

[Jeff Grubb]

I already give him enough about the wine. All right.

[Dan Ryckert]

That's right. Okay. Jake.org you be the judge.

[Mary Kish]

We'll add it to it. We'll let the audience decide.

[Dan Ryckert]

God. All right, onto the emails. First one here.

[Jeff Grubb]

Wait, real quick. What do you think? So if you had to say something that Fight Club is about now other than like, you know, the satire? Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

About just angry, toxic masculinity and trying to find meaning in lives that they just didn't have anything else going on.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

Violence. Because that was the only thing they knew.

[Jeff Grubb]

Trying to find human connection and not knowing how to do that. And so it has to, like, come through. Yeah. Yeah. That's completely fair. Completely good rating. Yep. Okay.

[Dan Ryckert]

I'm going to go back to college and get a new degree. I'm going to double up.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah. Film degree two.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Plus the search for Curly's gold would.

[Dan Ryckert]

Be a new game. Plus because I wouldn't get to keep the things that I left college with because I've gotten stupider. It's a new game.

[Mary Kish]

You're just watching Dumber movie. Why Face off is actually a cry for help.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay. First email is From Eric from Saskatchewan 1. If all earthly knowledge was wiped from Earth and we had to start from square one, science textbooks would eventually come back unchanged because science is experimentation and observation. If all games were wiped out and we had to start from square one, which ones do you all think would come back just the same? That's Eric from Saskatchewan. That's a great email. Super Mario.

[Jeff Grubb]

Super Mario Brothers or Super Mario Brothers?

[Dan Ryckert]

Like it, like, you know, it's something just like it.

[Jeff Grubb]

Right? Because, like, isn't that the game? Like, this is like, what I was kind of getting to earlier about, like, the, like, Vampire Survivors and Tetris. Like, there are some things that, like, kind of get. Get to a truth of the medium of, like, when you played Super Mario Brothers, the physics felt right. It's not that it just felt good. It feels right. This is like exploring something that feels truthful about momentum and physics and our interaction with those things. So I think at a certain point, someone would stumble upon that because it feels right.

[Mary Kish]

I agree. Like, the lighting in Fight Club. It's perfect.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's perfect. Battlefield Earth.

[Mary Kish]

Perfect lighting. Sick marketing.

[Dan Ryckert]

Perfect lighting. Says man who doesn't know anything about lighting.

[Jeff Grubb]

Who thought lights were a, quote.

[Dan Ryckert]

A hassle unnecessary for film production.

[Mary Kish]

0 to 100.

[Dan Ryckert]

God damn it. Yeah. I think Tetris or, like, you know, or even, like Tetris, like, down to the shapes almost, would be, like, pretty.

[Mary Kish]

Similar shapes would be constructed. That's crazy. It's possible. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

And like falling down a well. Right?

[Dan Ryckert]

Because again, that's like clearing lines.

[Jeff Grubb]

Right? Because that feels like. Right. Because that's like gravity and. And it's incessant. Yeah. Clearing lines because it's like. Yeah, I. I deal with a problem, and now I have a new problem to deal with, and it never stops. Yeah, that's. That's another, like, truthful thing that a video game explored, for sure.

[Dan Ryckert]

What about, like, the Battle Royale genre? Like, a punishment pubg? I bet there would be another, like, okay, like, action games would happen because they would emulate war, and then it's like, oh, but what if there's, like, a bunch of them? And then you had to, like, survival style, you know.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

And there's always the instinct that a shooter would exist because what it.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

What an exciting thing to be like. If I were to play a video game, the first thing you do is be like, well, I'd want to, like, run around and shoot people, because I can't do that, you know, in real life. And this is something where I get to, like, get those jollies out. So I think that would occur.

[Jeff Grubb]

And, like, Battle Royale was, like, this idea of, like, the last man standing, that there's just something appealing about that. There's, like, that I just understand the. The impulse there. So. Yeah. And like, that. That's what it felt like at the time when the first, like, Battle Royale really clicked. Everyone's like, yep, this is it. This is what we're doing now for the next several years.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Because it's just so easy to understand.

[Dan Ryckert]

Minecraft building.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah. Like, building games. Crafting games. Yes. Yeah. Digging, like, just digging down. Yeah, absolutely. That sort of stuff would be a big part of it. Yep.

[Dan Ryckert]

Death stranding one one to one, and be the exact same game, shot for shot, remake. Like, somebody's gonna make that. It's too obvious. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it's too obvious.

[Jeff Grubb]

Well, like, you wipe out everything. Kojima would still, like, just come back because he's God's most perfect creation.

[Dan Ryckert]

And Conan.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

Guillermo del Toro, Conan O'Brien, and Jeff Keeley. I want to see that art. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

I want to see that on a bootleg T shirt. Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's incredible. All right, next up. Hello, Fire Escape. Last episode or a couple ago, Dan made the comment that Dr. Fernando was the official doctor of Fire Escape. Quick question for Dan. Hey, what the. From your friend, Dr. Ryan. Now, listen up. Listen, Dr. Ryan. When I think of Dr. Ryan, I think of Giant Bomb and my Personal Stream first and foremost. That's where most of my interaction with Dr. Ryan, almost all of my interaction, if not all, has been through Personal Stream and Giant Bomb. So I don't think it's a slight to Dr. Ryan to have met a doctor in the flesh and talked about Fire Escape and like, all right, you're the doctor. Fire Escape. You're not the doctor. My whole life. Dr. Ryan, give this one to Fernando. You're my giant bomb. Twitch Dr.

[Jeff Grubb]

Break.

[Dan Ryckert]

Right?

[Jeff Grubb]

You just have to work constantly, Dr. Ryan.

[Dan Ryckert]

I just don't want you to have to work. We do late nights here on fire escape. I just want to give you a few hours off every couple of weeks.

[Jeff Grubb]

Your fingers still hurt?

[Dan Ryckert]

Actually, yeah. It still doesn't bend all the way down. It's much better now, but. Yeah, it's been over a year, Mary.

[Jeff Grubb]

Like, I mean, it's. This is forever now, I think.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

You weren't involved.

[Mary Kish]

I wasn't involved. There was a self fall. I can't be.

[Jeff Grubb]

I can't be held liable for such karma's instrument. Right? He should not have said what he said about being able to eat that much Mac and cheese.

[Mary Kish]

I agree.

[Jeff Grubb]

This is and. And karma worked through you. This is not your fault, Mary.

[Dan Ryckert]

Not legally liable, but emotionally not legally liable.

[Mary Kish]

I was like, in America, I'm always like, I wasn't even there.

[Jeff Grubb]

I wasn't in the room. Never even saw these assholes before.

[Mary Kish]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Dan Ryckert]

Tomorrow I'm walking into the police station and describing this and seeing what they can do about it.

[Mary Kish]

Officer, I swear, I don't even know who they are.

[Jeff Grubb]

How long before she given the double middle fingers?

[Mary Kish]

Oh, you guys can all go fuck yourself.

[Jeff Grubb]

I'm dead. Wrecker fucking dies.

[Mary Kish]

Break all of the bones in your body.

[Jeff Grubb]

Officer Dan, what would that conversation go like? So on a podcast, Officer, I said I could eat. How much Mac and cheese was it?

[Dan Ryckert]

I could eat a bathtub full of it.

[Jeff Grubb]

Eat a bath. Literally a bathtub full of it. And then someone called my bluff. And then I slipped and fell and hurt my finger. Can we put this woman in jail? Okay. Who made me a bathtub of Mac and cheese?

[Dan Ryckert]

I think. Would I have. Would I get laughed out quicker by the police or lawyers? Lawyers, if I wanted to file a civic.

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh, definitely police.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay. Lawyers might talk. Talk me through this.

[Jeff Grubb]

Lawyers might think there's some money there.

[Dan Ryckert]

Then I'm going to my lawyer tomorrow.

[Jeff Grubb]

And yeah, I'll put you in touch with Misney, which is a shout out to everyone from Cleveland. That's our local ambulance chaser.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay, excellent. All right, great.

[Mary Kish]

I will stay there.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

As I've stated my entire life, I don't know this man.

[Dan Ryckert]

And there's no evidence to the contrary. Next up, we got years ago, I asked the three of you how many clones of yourself it would take to fight and defeat a Mike. A Mike Tyson.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

My new question to you. If you could add or subtract years from Mike Tyson before fighting him, at what age do you think you could actually beat him at? Could you beat up a 15 year old Mike Tyson? What about a 75 year old Tyson? Super no on both. Especially 15, because that early footage of him, he's not that much older than 15.

[Jeff Grubb]

Definitely not 15.

[Dan Ryckert]

Murder you.

[Jeff Grubb]

Did you see the Jake Paul fight?

[Dan Ryckert]

We. I watched it with Mary. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, we watched it right before we did our big podcast event. And we kind. There's a footage of us running to make sure we saw it.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Sprinting through Minneapolis. I didn't show the footage because there's like this clear, like us being like, it's starting. And then there's like footage of us halfway through the fight and we're like, oh, God damn it. You can tell within five minutes. Not even you tell within like a few seconds of the first round. You're like, oh, this isn't what we wanted. This isn't. This isn't happening.

[Jeff Grubb]

This isn't it.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yep.

[Mary Kish]

He's not throwing any punches. I mean, like, I think it's a sad fight and a reflection of.

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh, it's a sad thing.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it's just like to me, it's. It was a waste of everybody's time.

[Dan Ryckert]

Well, except for Mike Tyson and Jake Pauls.

[Mary Kish]

Sure. I mean, they got ton of money out of it, but I think to me, we all kind of got bamboozled a little bit into assuming there's going to be some kind of interesting fight.

[Jeff Grubb]

We should have known better.

[Dan Ryckert]

I feel like every one of these spectacle fights is always so disappointing.

[Jeff Grubb]

You know, I feel like, fool me twice, this is like several times now where it's like, I should have known better.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

100.

[Dan Ryckert]

That's.

[Jeff Grubb]

That's an old man. That's an old man who's been through it.

[Mary Kish]

Well, it's been a really tough year and we've been beaten down a lot. And as Jake said getting off the plane, I can't take another L. And I really need that guy to murder. Murder that YouTuber.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, we just wanted to watch a YouTuber get beaten to a pulp. That's all we wanted.

[Mary Kish]

Definitely hope. But yeah, that didn't. That did not occur. I mean, do you think you guys could take down Tyson in his current state?

[Jeff Grubb]

No, I think if I had time to train, yes.

[Dan Ryckert]

Zero percent chance for me. And I also highly doubt Grub.

[Jeff Grubb]

I think that there's a strong chance still that he knocks me out in one punch. Let's be Clear. But I think if I had time to train, I would have a chance.

[Dan Ryckert]

I feel drunk. 22 year old Mary Kish could be a four year old Mike Tyson.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, four, absolutely. I'd kill him.

[Dan Ryckert]

I'd put my money on you. Yeah. What age does that become?

[Jeff Grubb]

Picks him up and punts him.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

Current age, Mary, how young or how old would Mike Tyson have to be you to beat him?

[Mary Kish]

I mean, I would say tween, tween Tyson. I could take him out at 12.

[Dan Ryckert]

You think you could?

[Jeff Grubb]

I don't know.

[Dan Ryckert]

Have you seen him as a teenager?

[Mary Kish]

I don't know. He's not a teenager. 12.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay.

[Jeff Grubb]

Still, I don't know.

[Mary Kish]

12. He hasn't developed yet cognitively.

[Dan Ryckert]

Definitely not cognitively.

[Mary Kish]

I don't know if it ever happened. I don't think that he's developed his muscles at 12.

[Dan Ryckert]

No, but he was probably training to box, I think. Let me, I, I want to see when he started training.

[Mary Kish]

What about old year old Tyson? Well, let's figure out the first one. Oh, he looks pretty strong.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, he. I want to be. I don't think there's any chance you take out 12 year old Mike Tyson.

[Dan Ryckert]

No, I really don't think so.

[Mary Kish]

Oh my God, he looks so.

[Jeff Grubb]

I don't think there's any chance I could take out 12 year old Mike Tyson.

[Dan Ryckert]

His first fight was with a bigger youth who pulled the head off of one of Tyson's pit pigeons. Holy. But okay, by the age of 13. So at the age of 12 or younger, he had been arrested 38 times.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, okay. All right, I gotta go, I gotta go younger. All right, hold on, hold on. 12 was young. Let's go, let's go with five, I think.

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay, so five on the young end. I'll take that as well. And then on the old, then what, what's he now? He's 58 now.

[Mary Kish]

58. I would say 70. I would feel confident at 70.

[Dan Ryckert]

I'll say 90 and dead.

[Jeff Grubb]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

Do I get like a board with a nail in it? Do I get.

[Jeff Grubb]

No, no.

[Mary Kish]

I mean, I think 70. My hope is that his heart would give out.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh God.

[Mary Kish]

This year.

[Dan Ryckert]

His training videos, he looks pretty good.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, they threw like two punches and got tired. I don't know.

[Dan Ryckert]

I'm gonna go with five and dead.

[Jeff Grubb]

Five and five. A dead five year old? Yeah, you could beat up a dead five year old. Okay. Okay, Gotcha.

[Mary Kish]

Living five dead old.

[Jeff Grubb]

That's my favorite Justin Timberlake album, by the way.

[Dan Ryckert]

Finally here we got. When was the last time any of you watched Team America, World Police. That movie kind of holds up in some weird ways and super doesn't. And others like MacGruber. That's Joe from New York. Now, I do take serious umbrage with the MacGruber.

[Jeff Grubb]

I. I do, too. Because McGruber's knows what it's doing. Yes. Every joke. Every joke it knows what it's doing, and it's deliberately delivering them in the way it does. Because it, like, that's the joke. World Police was like, wouldn't be funny if it was the Film Actors Guild instead of the Screen Actors Guild. And then we use that word a bunch of times.

[Dan Ryckert]

It's like, I forgot that bit.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

And there's a bunch of the accents and stuff that probably, like, a lot of the accents that came from it.

[Mary Kish]

Heavily, like, relies on racist tropes and.

[Dan Ryckert]

Racist tropes in a way that, like, I think south park typically tried to do by being like, oh, we're being so over the top with it that it's like we're making fun of the racism. But I think even that now is just kind of, like, seen as lazy.

[Mary Kish]

And I don't think they were making fun of the racism. I think they were relishing in the racism.

[Jeff Grubb]

Right. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It's not like, oh, we're being tongue in cheek about this. You're just making a joke about how people are, you know, how people can communicate and say their R's and L's, like, that's up.

[Dan Ryckert]

That is the whole song.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it's the whole song.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It does not hold up. There's no way. There's no way that we holds up. I bet as far as say, I. I don't know. I mean, I think, like, they go so far with it. The thing like, that makes the. I also disagree with this. Like, I think McGruber does hold up, because there's an element to how you can use cursing that accentuates a sentence and makes it funny. I'll give you an example. Like, in McGruber, they ask, like, about the team, and he's like, it's a bunch of fucking good guys. And, like, the way he adds fucking adds to that sentence. It adds to the comedic value. It also tells you about something about who he is as a character. Whereas in Team America, they use fuck in almost every sentence all the time. And I think it just exhausts itself to the point where it has. It has lost all meaning.

[Jeff Grubb]

Right, right. They're like, it's. It's funny. If these puppets are Swearing. This is like based on the kids show. And then they just got of went that. That was the whole movie.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. Can you believe these pucket. These puckets. These puppets are saying every sentence. Whereas McGruber is a real piece of. And so he's around regular people and.

[Jeff Grubb]

He just can't help.

[Dan Ryckert]

He's just aggressive and an.

[Mary Kish]

And yeah, they're a bunch of really great guys.

[Dan Ryckert]

The second. The second part of that line is it's after the funerals and he's looking out the window with the sunglasses and he's like, they were fucking great guys. And this is a of a day.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

There's something about it that I think does work that I just don't think Team America had. And I think in retrospect, because I used to be a real big advocate of that group and south park, and I still look at some of the old episodes with nostalgia because it was powerful to me. We used to not miss an episode of south park when it came on. Like, you had to see it when it was like launching on. On Comedy Central.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

And I look back on a lot of it and it's just like, o. It just doesn't. It's not as smart as I thought it was. It's not as thoughtful. But these joke films like Hot Shots. Hot Shots part do. This film. They do hold hold up because they're moments in time that are very thoughtful. I think they're actually very smart in the way they're written to play with these characters and these tropes. They're not just edgy catchphrases to. To shock you.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, that's the thing. And the one thing that I'll even, like other McGruber fans sometimes will point is like, the one joke that doesn't hold up is the one where he's putting the team together and he's like, okay, I got mvp. I got Mark. It's all the wrestlers. And he gets the Big show. And he's like, oh, big Show. Hell. Hell, yeah. And then Big show makes out with the guy and then McGruber freaks out and cross his name out. I will say the joke there is that MacGruber fucking sucks. And of course he's homophobic.

[Jeff Grubb]

Like, you know, yes, he is the. He is the one asshole in a world of, like, regular people that are just doing their thing and just, like, are actually competent in doing their jobs. And so him being the worst in every situation, including, like, morally, is the joke and rules. It's funny.

[Dan Ryckert]

The joke. Yeah. It's not haha. Big show's gay. The joke is like, oh, of course he's a homophobe too.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, yeah. Of course he'd be afraid to work with a gay man.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yes, yes, exactly. So, no, I've. Hold up. I mean, MacGruber is 2010. It's 15 years old almost. And we just watched half of it a week ago, Mary.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, we did watch half of it.

[Dan Ryckert]

Before Mike and Jake fell asleep because it was four in the morning or something.

[Mary Kish]

Aggressively picked Mike's nose.

[Dan Ryckert]

That was Decker. That was Decker. Yeah. Jake went nuts.

[Mary Kish]

Your finger was in there. And he rubbed it in his mouth.

[Jeff Grubb]

Well, so grub.

[Dan Ryckert]

To defend myself.

[Jeff Grubb]

Sure.

[Dan Ryckert]

I thought, as Marty would do, he was playing a little game of chicken with me. I thought he was because, like, he was asleep. And I was like, ooh, gonna put my finger in your nose.

[Jeff Grubb]

The way most people play chicken asleep and without consent. Go on.

[Dan Ryckert]

I gotta put. I'm like, I'm gonna put in his nose. And he wasn't moving. And I, like, just barely, like, kind of touch here. And he's like, oh, he's with me. He's gonna see if I. If I got the guts to keep going. And I just kept moving. And I instantly was like, I don't want to keep going. I hope he gives up on this. I don't want to keep putting my finger. And I got my finger pretty far up his nose, and he didn't sell it at all.

[Jeff Grubb]

Oh. Because he was actually asleep.

[Dan Ryckert]

I think he was working. Working.

[Mary Kish]

Dead asleep. And then you take it out, laugh, put it in his mouth, and then you do it again.

[Jeff Grubb]

So what's the. What's the defense? For the second time, I thought he.

[Dan Ryckert]

Was playing double chicken.

[Jeff Grubb]

Double chicken.

[Dan Ryckert]

Of course.

[Jeff Grubb]

The classic double chicken.

[Mary Kish]

Classic double sleepy chicken.

[Dan Ryckert]

That's a Mahardi trademark. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

Of course.

[Jeff Grubb]

He loves that shit.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Well, Joe, you're wrong, but I do think that I haven't seen Team America in years. I actually don't have a desire to.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

I was like, maybe I saw a YouTube video that was, like, talking about it. And so I started watching again, and I'm like, okay. Nope. This really, really, really doesn't hold up. Yep.

[Dan Ryckert]

Last I probably saw it was in, like, 2006 with Kayla, because I remember, like, oh, she should see this.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, I'll agree with you, Joe.

[Dan Ryckert]

There.

[Jeff Grubb]

There are parts of it that do hold up. I think the first parts. The first half of the movie is, like, pretty good. And then it just, like, all the jokes run their course and everything just Gets run to the ground. And then they. They do the thing they always do, which is like, now let's tell you why we really need America to protect us from these savages. It's like, oh, my God.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. I think it's maybe at its best when it's like, mocking that post 911 ultra nationalism stuff where it's like the Freedom isn't free song and all that stuff. Exactly.

[Jeff Grubb]

That stuff. That stuff does hold up.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

And the America. Yeah. I think some of those songs probably still have some value in the sense of, like, you're making fun of American imperialism and our war system. There's. There's jokes to be had about how right.

[Jeff Grubb]

Team America shows up to, like, save the day from the terrorists. And in doing so, they're destroying the countries that they're in and stuff like that. And they don't even notice it. And they're like. Like, just.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

It's like, all that stuff does work. And then it just keeps going.

[Dan Ryckert]

I did just remember the joke, though. That holds up pretty well where the guy wants to sleep with the lady puppet and she's like, no, I can't. You know, you'll. You'll die just like, you know, my ex or whatever. And he's like, I could only sleep with you if you can promise me you'll never die. And he just straight face turns there, like, I promise I will never die.

[Mary Kish]

That is a funny trope.

[Jeff Grubb]

That is a funny.

[Mary Kish]

Now there's a really interesting metaphor in that film.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh.

[Mary Kish]

About Dick's.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh, God. That's a whole speech, isn't it? That's the whole thing about America.

[Mary Kish]

Five minutes long.

[Jeff Grubb]

You. You need a dick to. Because an can't a right. That's like. Oh, my God.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

You are really, really impressed by your metaphor here. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Do you have a college essay about. About Dick's. Because can't.

[Dan Ryckert]

I don't know if that's in my newspaper here.

[Mary Kish]

No, maybe not in this essay. I will explain.

[Dan Ryckert]

Grub, I'm looking at your camera right now. Did you steal that book from my house or did he buy that. That 64. You did.

[Mary Kish]

Okay.

[Jeff Grubb]

I bought it while sitting in that chair at your house. Did you?

[Dan Ryckert]

Okay.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yep.

[Dan Ryckert]

I remember you looking at that. Take that from me.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yep. I. I literally was just like, I'm gonna stand up and I really want to keep reading this book, but I'm just going to buy it right now. And went downstairs.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah. Bitmap books in 64 compendium. That's a fun one. Yeah.

[Jeff Grubb]

Enjoying It. Quite a bit. Yeah. A lot of good. A lot of good stories in there.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yes. All right, Grub, thank you so much for short notice joining us here, you know.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah, no problem, love. Love to be on the show. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. We'll be. We'll be doing some. We got the Bombcast tomorrow. Tune in for that game this morning.

[Dan Ryckert]

Six days in the past or seven days.

[Jeff Grubb]

I have nothing going on then. I. By then I'm going to be deeply unemployed. So, yeah, don't worry about it.

[Dan Ryckert]

We have to do our Countdown of the Game Awards first, so.

[Jeff Grubb]

That's right. Yeah, people that. We could talk about that now. Countdown to the Game Awards, which apparently I'm involved in somehow. So, yeah, gr.

[Dan Ryckert]

We should have a meeting or 600 about that.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yeah.

[Dan Ryckert]

You know what?

[Jeff Grubb]

I say 601 just to be sure.

[Dan Ryckert]

Holy hell, it's been a month.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yes, it's been nonstop. But, yeah, that seems like a big deal. We're ready to help. We'll do our part for God and country.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yep, absolutely. All right, Mary, what do you got?

[Mary Kish]

I am still streaming every Monday, and right now I'm trying to get through Silent Hill 2 and I'm having a great time. So if you like spoopy, scary games, this is the time to get on the Silent Hill 2 train. It's a blast. I'm. I'm really having a lot of fun with it, so every month.

[Dan Ryckert]

Glad to hear that.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. What about you?

[Dan Ryckert]

I'm doing same stuff as Grub with the giant bomb stuff and then Instagram and I'm on Blue sky now. I'm Dan Riker.com on Blue sky, so you can find me there. I'm actually kind of liking it, so maybe I'll be over there a little more than I was on Twitter over the last few years. But that's all I got for now. And that is it for this episode of the Fire Escape Cast.

[Jeff Grubb]

Real quick, I did see you got Dan Ryker.com on there. And so that inspired me to go get Grub. WTF on Blue Sky. So that's me.

[Dan Ryckert]

I just get to register the domain.

[Jeff Grubb]

And register Maine while. While waiting for my kids to get done shopping at Disney World, I was like, I'll just get this right now and go for it.

[Dan Ryckert]

So, yeah, going to DNS settings and my DNS settings.

[Jeff Grubb]

Yep, exactly. And it didn't work for a minute. I'm like, God, can't figure this. Whatever. And then eventually, the next day, I think it just clicked in place and worked. So yeah. Grub. Wtf? On blue sky.

[Dan Ryckert]

Oh hell yeah. All right, we are out of here. Thanks so much Mary and Jeff. Goodbye everyone.

[Mary Kish]

Bye.

[Dan Ryckert]

I forgot to plug Patreon. If this is still in the episode, go to our Patreon. We put up an echo web video. Bye.

[Mary Kish]

Also we have merch and follow our social channels. And don't forget to rate us 5 stars.

[Dan Ryckert]

Yeah, just all the stuff. Whatever Mike said in the last episode. Just do that.

[Jeff Grubb]

Every day.

[Mary Kish]

When you log into chumbacasino.com the ultimate.

[Jeff Grubb]

Online social casino, you get a free daily bonus.

[Mary Kish]

Imagine if you got daily bonuses in other parts of your life.

[Jeff Grubb]

I chose french fries over loaded french fries.

[Dan Ryckert]

I asked Stewart from accounting about his weekend. Even though I don't care.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I updated my operating system without having.

[Jeff Grubb]

To call tech support. Collect your free daily [e-mail] now and live the Chumba life.

[Mary Kish]

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