
Indiana Jones and the Great Circle has caught the gang off guard, Vampire Survivors is still pretty great, and new bumper stickers emerge.
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Mike Mahardy
Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Fire Escape cast. It is episode 96. That's noventa y says if you're in France. I just got back from France recently. I'm still on French time, whatever that is.
Dan Rykert
It's always French time with my.
Mike Mahardy
I think that's Greenwich. I think that's Greenwich. Meantime, I'm back. It's not your last episode.
Mary Kish
Every time Mike says anything of value, we can just go, ooh la la. Because he's always going to France and he's so franche.
Mike Mahardy
So that's Mary Kish.
Mary Kish
Hi.
Mike Mahardy
And also here, as always, with Dan Rykert.
Dan Rykert
It's still my favorite thing to look at Mike Mahardi's Instagram stories. And every time before I press his picture, it's like, all right, wine or cats? That's like my favorite Instagram game show. And then sometimes it's bonus points and you're in France tweeting about wine. And that's what I got the last week.
Mike Mahardy
The end of my profile bio says mostly wine and cats.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, I know.
Mike Mahardy
Okay. Yeah, yeah. I just got back. It was a nice visit. I was there for work, but I went. I went to a few spots I really like. I went. There was a little Christmas pop up market over in the sixth. Also Notre Dame, I think just did its grand reopening after the.
Mary Kish
Already I feel like that just went away.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, I forgot they put, you know, they put their best people on it or I assume they do. I don't know any. I don't have any inside info, but we were.
Mary Kish
Must have been a high priority for them. That's a huge draw.
Mike Mahardy
It's a national. One of their symbols and shit. But I was. The tents were all set up around it, so I saw that, but I was gone before that. I had maybe the most nightmarish, nightmarishly close. Missing my flight back from France.
Dan Rykert
Really?
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. So I had a 12:55pm flight back to Newark. So I woke up at what was it, like 8:55, four hours. I woke up four hours ahead of the flight. I was like, oh, I kind of overshot this. I can sleep for a little longer. And I snoozed it. And when I woke up, I just happened to wake up later, realize I just stopped my alarm. I didn't snooze it. So I woke back up at like 9:45 and the flight was boarding at 12:05. However, there's been like construction on the highways between Charles de Gaulle and Paris. So it occurred to me then I was like, oh, God. Right? It took, like, an hour 45 in the Uber to get here. So I was like, all right, I'm still fine. So, you know, I was. I had packed up. I was ready to go, and we passed. We hit, like, two accidents on the highway on the way there. So I got to the airport at. And the Uber went to the wrong. He went to the arrivals level instead of departures. So I was like, no, no, no, it's fine. I can. I can go down. I'll walk, take the elevator up. He just kept driving. And he spoke English. Like, I spoke English with him when he first picked me up. So I get.
Mary Kish
Maybe he only knew the words that he gave you when he picked you up. Maybe he doesn't speak English. He only knows, like, hi, thanks for taking this Uber. And then any other time you're talking to him, he's like, I have no idea what this means.
Mike Mahardy
That's entirely possible. But I got to the airport at 11:30, and, you know, I hadn't gone through customs yet, and I had a bag to check. I had several bottles of liquid that I was.
Dan Rykert
What kind of liquid, Mike?
Mike Mahardy
Wine, Chartreuse, creme de cassis. And one of them was a gift for Amanda, so I really wanted to make sure I got that. I didn't, like, dump anything or not dump it, but, like, get rid of it. So I got to United's bag check, and they had shut down the computers. I've never gotten so late that they, like. So I told. I told two. There's these two women at the desk, and I told them. I was like, oh, my God. Nightmare getting here. Is there any way I could check this bag and not have to get a new flight or, you know, dump all this? One's like, no, I can't do it. The other's like, I just missed it. I was like, there's a gift from my wife in there. She's like, oh, we'll make an exception. So she reopened it.
Mary Kish
You used your wife?
Mike Mahardy
Well, I was telling the truth. Like, I meant it.
Mary Kish
So the old disappointed wife routine.
Mike Mahardy
And then I get to security. I get through customs smoothly enough, but I get to security, and there. One of the tray conveyor belts at TSA was shut down because they had a bomb dog sniffing. I think it was, like, a routine sniff of the conveyor belt. So we're all like. Everybody at the United terminal was going through one, like, trey conveyor belt. So it's taken forever. Uh, I made my flight just as it was like, my. I literally hit the gate when my group was called. But that was kind of perfect. Uh, but then, of course, you know, on the way back, I was really worried my bag wouldn't make it because they had to, like, reopen the computers. And it said, like, status pending in the app for the bag tracker. But it all went smoothly from there. Nice. Yeah. I was like, I've never pushed it that I've either missed a flight. I've only ever missed, like, two flights in my life for extenuating circumstances. But that was the closest I've gotten to not making it back on time.
Dan Rykert
I'd like connecting ones that, like, you know, if the first one was delayed and you have to just, like, sprint through a terminal and you barely make it. But I don't think I've ever straight up missed a flight.
Mary Kish
I have had the closest call of my life last year, going to Spain. I think we should have missed the flight. We just. We just cut it way too close. Everything was late. There was traffic. It was our fault, too, for, like, leaving as late as we did and assuming it would be fine. And they also said, the computers are shut down. You're not gonna make it. So I. I wouldn't check your bag if we could. And me and my co worker, Alyssa, just kind of looked at them and were like, please, just. Just try. And we are fast runners, and we will. We will make this flight. And by the grace of God, she was like, okay. And she checked our bags.
Mike Mahardy
Oh. In Spanish. It's okay.
Mary Kish
O. Okay. And we sprinted to the gate. And of course, in just the rush of everything, I left a full water bottle in my book bag. So when I went through security, I got stopped because of my water bottle. And they kind of. Each security protocol is different with how much of a dick they wanna be to you, but in this one, they were like, do you wanna throw the bottle away, or do you wanna go back through security? And I was, like, walking away, as I said, throw it away.
Dan Rykert
They don't have a dump thing, but usually there's, like, a little hole you can just dump into.
Mary Kish
It's called your security. Yes, of course it's called. But that's before you go through security. If they catch you. If you go through security, then they have a couple options. One is you go all the way back through security with your water bottle or dump. Or, like, I'm throwing the whole bottle away. And if you have, like, a reusable bottle, that's pretty gutting.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
But in this very particular case, I had, like, snagged A bottle of water on probably one of the journeys I was on. So it was just a plastic bottle of water. And so for them to even ask me that question, I was like, I'm literally a ghost. You are speaking to my dust as I walk away. Throw away that water bottle. I don't have time for this shit. And we ran the entire way to the gate with, like, all of our bags, and it was way faster. Like, we're way further along than yours, Mike. They were doing last call. We could hear them on the speaker going, like, last call for this flight. We're running.
Mike Mahardy
And then you hit. And then you run into the person taking the tickets, and then all the tickets scatter. And then you get on the plane to New York City instead of Florida. And then two robbers come and they're seeking revenge from when you fucked with them in Chicago.
Dan Rykert
There's footage of all this. I've seen it.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. Yeah.
Mary Kish
That was a different time in my life.
Mike Mahardy
Times after that. But we don't talk about those two. Right.
Dan Rykert
Well, the third time it happened, it was someone else.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. And also.
Mary Kish
No, it was still me.
Dan Rykert
And Prince Stewart was there.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. Oh, God, he was. Wow, I forgot about that. Oh, here's a question. I actually do not know why you can't. Why can't you bring liquids on a plane bomb? Start through security, probably.
Mary Kish
I mean, I think the easiest thing is the answer is 9, 11.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, it's probably just, like, certain liquids that you could probably do bomb stuff with or something. And so there's that. Don't. You can have anything that you get after the gate, but that's it.
Mike Mahardy
I just. Is that the same. Is that why there's a limit on the ounces of, like, hygiene stuff? Okay.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, they probably determine that.
Mike Mahardy
Theater or something like that. I don't know if it was an alcohol thing or whatever, but no.
Dan Rykert
Oh, no. It's easy to get alcohol in.
Mike Mahardy
I've never.
Mary Kish
Love it when you have alcohol.
Dan Rykert
I have brought so much alcohol onto planes, and it's never been a problem. I don't need more.
Mike Mahardy
But wait, how did you get it through security?
Dan Rykert
You just bring the fucking. Like, I used to, like, fly with, like, four or five airplane bottles of.
Mike Mahardy
Like, the mini bottles.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. So like, none of them. They don't even, like, take them out. And I've seen them see it before when, like, pulling my switch out and.
Mike Mahardy
They ask if you have liquid. Right. And they just don't care if it's a certain. If it's below the 3 ounces or.
Mary Kish
3 ounces as long as it's below the ounce amount. And it used to supposed to be needed to be in a plastic baggie and they don't care about that anymore either. So long as it's below the required amount. Because I travel with all sorts of like makeup liquid and no one bats an eye. But if it's a 12 ounce bottle of water, you know they're tackling me. I also like have been in trouble for just wearing my giant bomb sweater, which is so stupid.
Dan Rykert
That's something. Every single time I'm wearing like a giant bomb hoodie, I always take it off or reverse it or put it in my bag or something.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, it's like people, you should get a sweatshirt that just says small bomb.
Dan Rykert
Small. They wouldn't care. Small bomb. Okay.
Mike Mahardy
Under, under three and a half fluid ounces.
Mary Kish
Under three and a half ounces bomb.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, yeah. Yes.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Mary Kish
They're going to think that's hilarious. Dan.
Mike Mahardy
Things went really well on the under 3 and a half fluid ounces bomb couch at the game awards.
Dan Rykert
That's a rebrand. That's going to go great. Fuck.
Mike Mahardy
Brevity rolls off the tongue.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
Anything to stick it to tsa. I would, I would give up a lot of branding just to just to wipe the smug looks on their faces as they all have different rules and requirements. It really like irritates me how some of them will be like, yeah, you need to take off your shoes. And it's like, well, not in any other airport. You can't talk to me like I'm an idiot because you've changed your rules. I don't know your airport or you.
Mike Mahardy
I, I finally used, was able to use Global Entry.
Dan Rykert
Oh, it's great.
Mike Mahardy
I've had it for a bit. I had it when we came back from France, but I didn't want to leave Amanda in line by herself, so I did not use it. It's like scary how easy it is. You just smile and look at a camera.
Dan Rykert
Yep. And then they're good to go.
Mike Mahardy
Oh no. Oh no, I didn't do that. I looked into a lens, it said, wait, there's like three, two, one. It's like, yep, we know you, we have you everywhere. And then you tell the guy your name on the way out.
Dan Rykert
That's right. Yeah. Yeah. So fast.
Mike Mahardy
It is scary how much they can recognize your face just by scanning it.
Dan Rykert
Minority Report was cool.
Mary Kish
Yeah, it was cool for some parts. Yeah. I liked the self driving cars that you could take a nap in.
Dan Rykert
We got those now too. Right? I still don't. Like, they say that they're just like driving all around San Francisco now. And like, I've never seen one. Granted, I'm in San Francisco. You see them in New York?
Mike Mahardy
No, in San Francisco, I've seen a.
Mary Kish
Bunch in San Francisco, I saw, I would say for every four regular cars I saw one. They were really. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Just imagining Dan running into intersection to look at cars head on to see if they have drivers.
Dan Rykert
Like, hey, wait, so can you. You. It's just like an Uber thing. Like you use an app and you can just take a nap in the back.
Mike Mahardy
Yep.
Dan Rykert
That sounds pretty cool.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, that'd be so unsettling.
Mary Kish
I think a lot of people have anxiety about writing them because they do. Every once in a while they do strange little things and it's always based on human stuff they can't predict. Right, sure. So like a car cutting them off or a pedestrian, like, walking right in front of them that kind of like, absolutely can trip up AI still. Because they're just not, they're not prepared for our human randomization. Like, they can't predict everything that I'm going to do.
Mike Mahardy
It's probably, I, I've never, I haven't poured over the statistics in a while, but I imagine it's probably safer than half the drivers you can get.
Dan Rykert
That's the thing is, like, it is kind of surprising that it would be on the road if there are still hiccups. But also people are idiots and bad drivers. So it's like, I don't know, is it actually that much less safe?
Mike Mahardy
Half the drivers I get back from Newark are psychos.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
And they're just cutting left and right.
Mary Kish
I have a statistical less likely chance of killing someone or getting into an accident than a regular person, and that's probably how they can get away with it. But again, like, you just never know what some crazy person's gonna do. And that's probably when the AI is like, I did not predict eight people linking arms for the trees in front of this. I was not ready. No, I, I. All this data back here, and I am not prepared for this one.
Mike Mahardy
Well, now, but, yeah, but then on the bright side, once you do run over the protesters, they're like the hippie tree people you were just talking about. Now it knows to avoid them next time. So you kind of did.
Dan Rykert
Oh, so you're teaching then.
Mary Kish
Active learning AI. Yeah. That's really smart. Yeah. Every time it kills a pedestrian, it's always like, I've updated my system.
Dan Rykert
Well, it's the remorse that the cars feel that you know they're not going to make that mistake again.
Mike Mahardy
Now I know that humans can wear yellow jackets and I won't hit them next time I see one. I assumed it was machine learning.
Mary Kish
Why was I programmed to feel pain? It's at his funeral.
Dan Rykert
It's just, it's sunglasses on, it's over the windshield.
Mike Mahardy
It's in love with another self driving car and they. It just runs straight into it when it's trying to hump.
Dan Rykert
It somberly drops off a bouquet of flowers onto the casket with its tire hand.
Mary Kish
Don't be suspicious. Don't be suspicious.
Mike Mahardy
Don't be suspicious.
Mary Kish
It's rolling away suspicious.
Mike Mahardy
What's been up with you guys since I two episodes ago?
Dan Rykert
Oh, God. Went home the holidays. That was that. My dad talks about you a lot.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. You text me about him talking about me a lot?
Dan Rykert
Yeah, he texted me about you. He texted me. Did you see you got that like Marie killers? I got shrimp and wine. He's like, I'm like my hearty here, look at me with his mind.
Mike Mahardy
Wait, I bought that.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. And then he's like, I'm being fancy. Like my Hardy.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, oh. Shrimp Mac and cheese with white wine and.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. And he texted me how fancy he was being and he's like. Do you actually enjoy your time with Mahardi?
Mike Mahardy
What? Yes.
Dan Rykert
He's one of my best friends. I've known him for like 14 years.
Mike Mahardy
Paul, you enjoy your time with me? Of course Dan does.
Dan Rykert
No, he doesn't. No.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, he does. No, me and him always get along really well on like the live streams. We've done like baseball, super mega baseball.
Dan Rykert
He. You can talk sports. Which he will instantly respect someone if you can talk sports.
Mike Mahardy
The last time I hung out with him, we got like what it was with me, you, Amanda, Annabelle. We got burgers and then went to karaoke and we had a blast. I thought he still just sleeps about.
Dan Rykert
And talks about you all the time and it's usually in like Marty, I think I'm flattered.
Mike Mahardy
I'm in his head.
Dan Rykert
Did I tell. I said this on the bombcast, but did I tell you what happened with this house?
Mike Mahardy
No. But now I'm. No.
Dan Rykert
This is on the Paul scale. Even by Paul standards of weird decisions. This is Mount Rushmore of his entire life. And trust me, that's a crazy Mount Rushmore.
Mike Mahardy
I don't know if I'm ready.
Dan Rykert
I get home and this guy, we're talking for like four hours and then he's like, I got Some big news. And I was like, what? And he's like, he never has big news because he just kind of does the same thing all the time.
Mary Kish
He doesn't do anything.
Dan Rykert
No. He doesn't leave the house. He doesn't talk to people. He doesn't socialize. So it's like, what is your big news? And he goes, I sold the house. And I was like, what? Like, he's lived in this place for, like, 25 years. It looks exactly the same today as it looked 25 years ago. Same everything. And it's like, this is a wild thing for him to do without telling anyone. And like, the house was sold. First of all, the reason he sold the house was because for the last several years, he's hated that when he smokes outside on the front. On the front deck, sometimes his neighbors come home and they stop and chat with him. And he hates that. He says, I need more solitude. I need more solitude. And I said, okay, smoke on the back deck. And he gets mad when I bring it up because he's like, it's a weird door. Dan. Quit bringing up the back. Like, it's a whole weird. I just put a wooden thing down there to lock it. It's whole. And I was like, well, then pay someone to change your door. Don't sell the house because you don't want to talk to people while you're smoking. But he sold the house without telling anyone. And I guess he sold it. And then, like, so he sold it because he didn't want to fix any toilets. He didn't want to. Like, he just want to be like, I just want to sell it. I don't want to do anything. And so we sold it for, like, super low value. So we got a lot of interest right away. This one couple toured it a couple times. They got the inspection, they got the offer approved, paperwork, contracts written up. And my dad realized, like, oh, wait, moving is going to be a pain in the ass. And he asked his realtor, hey, can. I'm going to back out of this. And she's like, you can't. No, no. They already did the inspection, signed the contract. Yeah, but can you just, like, ask him? And they asked the new buyers. They're like, no, what are you talking about?
Mike Mahardy
We already talking to the bank. We pay the inspector.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. So anyway, I'm just, like, trying to parse together, like, is this a good idea? Like, this is just weird how he didn't tell anyone. He didn't tell his daughters, his sisters, anyone. And I was like, so what's the plan? Because like, when do you have to be out? He's like, oh, like December 9th. So tomorrow? Yes. And he told me this on Thanksgiving. I was like, wait, in like 10 days you have to be out of here. Like, where are you moving? He goes, well, that's the thing. Like when I decided to do this, I hadn't thought about this.
Mike Mahardy
Oh my God, where am I going to live?
Dan Rykert
Next step. He doesn't know what this is. A motherfucker that if he's ever on a flight for like three weeks ahead of time, he's checking the weather, he's checking the flight status. He's just like, everything single thing has to be planned out like crazy. And he's so fucking house without a plan of wor.
Mike Mahardy
So it's like unhoused Mary.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, so. And so he is moving in to a extended stay smoking hotel.
Mary Kish
Ever have any friend that's too woke?
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, that's me.
Dan Rykert
That's my.
Mike Mahardy
As we all know. So okay, I'm sorry, I, I.
Mary Kish
So he's moving hotel.
Dan Rykert
So he's moving into an extended stay smoking hotel.
Mike Mahardy
Okay.
Dan Rykert
And so give my two. This is the guy that will not buy anything if he doesn't have a coupon. He's like super duper cheap. And he also doesn't know what anything costs since like 1992. Like when we went to Boston last year, he was like, find a hotel near Fenway. That's like maximum $60 a night. I was like, dad, that's just not, that's not how these things cost anymore. So I don't think he knows how much it's going to cost. Like as of this recording, where's his stuff going? In a storage locker. So he's putting his stuff in a storage locker.
Mary Kish
What about his furniture?
Dan Rykert
Oh, that's the other thing. So he's bringing all that. He has like a 25 year old fridge that doesn't work, so he has to shove towels in it to keep air from coming out. It's got a hose snaking around the back and dripping into a bucket he has to drain a couple times a day. And it's just always said like, oh, bright side is you'll at least get to start over with a new fridge. And he's like, oh, no, I'm bringing that. What, like the most difficult to move thing in the world and it's broken and like three decades old.
Mary Kish
That's a part of the sale of the house though.
Dan Rykert
I don't know if he told him he's taken the fucking broken fridge.
Mary Kish
I mean, is there.
Mike Mahardy
I have a question. Is there more than a 0% chance he might just live in this extended stay hotel the rest of his life?
Dan Rykert
I mean, that is the concern with him is that, you know, he doesn't like doing things. So my thought is like, oh God, he's going to get his stuff in there. He's going to get comfortable. I asked him several times. He did say. He's like, oh, no, no. I got. I'm going to move into a place once. It's perfect, but I am going to definitely move into a place. I was like, what's perfect? He's like, I'm thinking like a house. It's like a cabin in the woods, $100,000 or less. And I was like, okay. I like, I don't know. I don't know what you're going to find for under $100,000. And I don't know if a cabin in the woods is a good idea. So it's been a lot of us talking to him and just be like, huh? Have you thought about this? Have you? Like, we're trying to help him because the house is sold. Can't talk him out of it now.
Mary Kish
So you can't talk him out of it. It's too late. Legally binding. He's not even there anymore. He's living in a motel, a smokable motel, which you just know is probably a big dinger. And he's going to probably just jam it up in there and. And then die in it.
Dan Rykert
I hope not. He's 61. That'd be, I think, a lot of time in a smoking hotel with his life.
Mike Mahardy
Paul, you have bigger fish to fry than my highbrow hobbies. Annoying you?
Dan Rykert
Yes.
Mike Mahardy
Just.
Dan Rykert
He spent more time thinking about you and wine than he thought about where he's going to move.
Mike Mahardy
Next time someone's bothering you, just pretend you're on the phone like the rest of us.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
And say, I'm sorry.
Dan Rykert
Have headphones and I don't know, have headphones.
Mike Mahardy
Put like a. Wear like a VR mask while you're smoking. Next time.
Dan Rykert
Go on your back and.
Mike Mahardy
By a door that needs a wooden thing to lock. Are you talking about when you put a little like a wooden rod?
Dan Rykert
It's just a rod.
Mike Mahardy
The sliding door.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Just so can take the rod out when you need to go out.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. And then I bring that up and I'm like, it's more complicated than that. You don't understand. And I was like, well, yeah, just get you can get a whole new door. It's not. That's not an option. That's not an option. It's like, okay, no.
Mary Kish
The least complicated option is selling all of your house and packing up all of your. And moving into a motel.
Mike Mahardy
He is a Seinfeld charact way.
Mary Kish
He's too perfect to be a Seinfeld character. Says, don't talk to me.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. Yeah, he's too. I don't. I. Yeah, it's just. It's. It's always a surprise, actually. It's usually never a surprise. It's usually exactly what you've seen the last 800 times you've seen him, but this one is like, oh, wait, he actually made a big change, and this has not been thought through at all. And, like, we.
Mary Kish
It's a huge change. It's a life change.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, we were like. Me and his daughter and his sister were bringing it up at Thanksgiving. He's like, it's gonna be fine. Everything's fine. It's gonna be totally fine. It's like, all right, so, like, checking with them, like, any movement on stuff? He's like, I don't know. We'll figure it out.
Mike Mahardy
What if he secretly won the lottery and he's not telling anybody and, like, he ends up in a. I think.
Mary Kish
That'S a Paul Reichert move right there.
Mike Mahardy
Really big, like, wooden lodge in the woods.
Dan Rykert
No, he wouldn't like. No, he would still buy exactly the same stuff he buys and live exactly how he lives. I know what he spend.
Mike Mahardy
What would he spend the money on? Anything. Give it to you.
Dan Rykert
No, no, definitely not that.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, I know, actually. Okay, I know exactly.
Mary Kish
Is it pussy?
Dan Rykert
Oh, that's a whole to Sean.
Mike Mahardy
Cut all this.
Dan Rykert
I didn't say anything.
Mike Mahardy
I didn't either. I just said I knew what it was.
Mary Kish
I think. I think I know I'm the best out of anybody.
Dan Rykert
So, yeah, we're all hoping the best for old Paul there. Hopefully he finds something that he's happy with. We'll check in.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. Best of luck, Paul.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Enjoy your white wine, Mac and cheese.
Dan Rykert
Yes. Yes.
Mike Mahardy
Sounds terrible.
Dan Rykert
It does sound pretty gross. What's. Right.
Mike Mahardy
What's with you, Mayor?
Mary Kish
I'm not gonna beat that. That's the craziest shit I've ever heard. Has a hotel. Does it have a. A kitchen? You know, does it have a microwave?
Dan Rykert
Because he hasn't looked into it yet.
Mike Mahardy
Extended stays usually have a kitchenette. Wait, he's not at the hotel yet?
Dan Rykert
No, he hasn't even looked up. Like, he doesn't even know if there are any around where he lives. He's just like, I'll figure it out.
Mike Mahardy
Okay, gotcha. He's interesting.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
If he shows up on your front porch, you're going to have to turn off the light so he thinks you're not home.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, just no, wear. Wear headphones, pretend you're on the phone. He won't. He won't be able to bother you.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, that's right.
Mary Kish
Teach him the most difficult lesson a son can teach a father.
Dan Rykert
I'll do a masterful parry by going on my back deck. You can't get back there.
Mary Kish
Put a. Put a pole in your back deck. Sliding door so you can't open it. He knows. He doesn't know how to kill.
Dan Rykert
It's a force field.
Mike Mahardy
All it takes is a wooden rod to stop him from.
Dan Rykert
Like a weird vampire.
Mike Mahardy
You wouldn't need. Like, if he was in prison, you wouldn't need an actual jail cell. You just use a sliding door with a wooden rod on his side, no less.
Dan Rykert
Yes.
Mike Mahardy
That he could open. No, it's a big thing. It's more complicated than you think. He, like, imprisoned himself in his house for the last 25 years.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, it's fun stuff.
Mike Mahardy
Did he ever comment on what I named my Hulu profile?
Dan Rykert
He occasionally does, but I think it makes him mad. And he doesn't like bringing it up. Like, he pulled up Hulu while I was at his place and it was, like, right there. And he's just like. I feel like it's just a lot of silence. I'm just shaking his head.
Mike Mahardy
That's been. I've kept that current one for like, eight months now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mary, we all share Hulu Premium or whatever it's called.
Mary Kish
Oh, that's nice. Isn't that a crime?
Dan Rykert
No, we all pay.
Mike Mahardy
No, we all individual accounts.
Dan Rykert
We just share each other's names with each other.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, Sean cut this, too.
Dan Rykert
I'm going to continue story.
Mike Mahardy
My. I changed my. I think we talked about this much earlier in the episode count, but I changed the name every once in a while just to mess with him, because he told me at one. He told Dan at one point that it annoys him because he watches it before bed so often. The last thing he sees before he turns on Hulu to fall asleep or whatever is what my profile is called right now. It's just Paul loves L U V E A L U V S Katy Perry and I'll just Routine. I used to routinely change it.
Dan Rykert
Well, that one is true in some Aspects.
Mike Mahardy
Does he?
Dan Rykert
In some aspects.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, okay.
Dan Rykert
Gotcha.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Mary Kish
Boobies.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, that's not funny anymore. Because it's. Yeah. There was a dog coming off the subway yesterday. Speaking of boobies and people, we all like, there was a dog coming off the subway yesterday, and the owner was like, no. Zenya. No. The dog's name was Xenia. This is a very weird going on in my head now. Yeah. This dog is named after my sexual awakening.
Dan Rykert
I did Min Max's charity stream a few weeks ago, and they. Hansen told me the day of. He's like, hey, we're doing something called a hear me out cake, where it's like, we have a cake and everyone has to come with, like, a bunch of different, like, ideas of, like, hear me out. Here's an unconventional thing I find attractive.
Mike Mahardy
That was the theme, as you had to say.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. So it was like. So when I got there, everything else was like. Everyone that was on that show was saying stuff like, Ben had, like. It was like a Tron bike. And, like, one of them was, like, a mouse cursor that was, like, curvy or something. And so everyone just had a bunch of stuff. And it's. I don't think I have a lot of unconventional stuff. Like, my person was like, here's Vamka Johnson next to, like, a weird Tron bike that Hansen wants to fuck.
Mike Mahardy
I don't think it's. She's unconventional.
Dan Rykert
I know, but I couldn't think, like, I don't have any, like, fictional.
Mary Kish
I don't think you.
Mike Mahardy
It's her.
Mary Kish
People.
Mike Mahardy
With her thighs. That is unconventionally attractive.
Mary Kish
That's just a regular hot person.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, she's killed people. Like, men. Yeah, she killed people.
Dan Rykert
That's uncommon. Like, that's normally not what you find attractive.
Mike Mahardy
That's hot.
Mary Kish
That's not unconventional.
Mike Mahardy
If that's unconventional, I'm the weirdest man in the world.
Mary Kish
You are. But I think, like, hear me out. Cakes are very specifically about, like, it should be something that everybody else in the room is like, that's insane. You couldn't possibly be attracted to.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, I could probably dig deep enough.
Mary Kish
It should be, like, Clippy, the, you know, Windows health icon. It should be some obscure thing that is, like, barely cognizant. It should. It should freak people out. That's the purpose of it. If it's. If it's regular, hot, attractive human, you fucked it up.
Dan Rykert
I tried to think of it, like, no, it's like, hot ladies are.
Mary Kish
I would have just put a. I just would have put a bot like nacho cheese on there. Because I think, like, on your darkest night, you might.
Dan Rykert
No, I'm not horny for nacho cheese. I like. There's difference between hunger and horny. Hunger and horny are very different. Nacho cheese has never entered the periphery of my mind during a sexual moment.
Mike Mahardy
I'm sure some people find that.
Mary Kish
But what if. But what if she was hot?
Dan Rykert
The nacho. If a hot lady had nacho cheese on her.
Mary Kish
No. If the nacho cheese had tits.
Dan Rykert
No.
Mike Mahardy
Just floating boobs.
Dan Rykert
No.
Mike Mahardy
Cheesy boobs.
Dan Rykert
No. It says completely different parts of my brain.
Mike Mahardy
Mary, you're really trying to sell us that cheesy boobs are hot. Do you want to tell us something?
Mary Kish
I'm just saying this is her hear me out cake. Yeah, I think my hear me out cake is cheesy boobs. Ew.
Dan Rykert
It's not like a disgusting thought, but.
Mike Mahardy
It'S like, I don't want to be accused of kink shaming your love for cheesy boobs.
Dan Rykert
No. Be into whatever you're into. Yeah, cheesy boobs.
Mary Kish
I mean, you have to think beyond tradition. I'm trying to, like, push you in ways, because that's. Again, the point of this exercise is that perhaps it is a new design of, like, there's lady compartments and pieces to this being, but they are also often made of cheese and nachos or Doritos or something like that.
Dan Rykert
This is not appealing to me at all.
Mary Kish
Some kind of bean burrito woman. Some kind.
Mike Mahardy
A woman covered in cheese in a beef burrito.
Mary Kish
Some kind of quesadilla quesarito.
Dan Rykert
I mean, if Monica Bellucci wrapped herself up in a tortilla and porch, like, she'd be hot, but, like, it'd be hot because it's Monica Bellucci, not because of the tortilla.
Mike Mahardy
I think it'll be hot hot regardless. Okay, wait, hold on a second. Let me. Daisy, you're. I'm searching something. Can I change my numerous background video field? Choose avatar pin. Let me try that. I can't add something. What is this bullshit? I was going to just replace my video with a Famka Janssen photo, and then. That was the extent of the joke. I told you I'm tired.
Dan Rykert
Sure, yeah.
Mary Kish
Jet lag.
Dan Rykert
Jet lag. Humor is killer.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. Fucking killing it, man.
Dan Rykert
But no, I don't want to fuck cheese.
Mary Kish
Well, that is fine. You don't have to. But the point of the exercise is to expand your mind outside of traditional hot people of the gender or people that you would usually Be attracted to. It's to, like, push yourself way beyond.
Dan Rykert
But isn't the idea that, like. Oh, here are some ones that. Some examples of that I have found attractive throughout my life. And, like, I was, like, trying to think of some, and I. Like, I would have no shame in this. Again, like, people, be into whatever you want to, but, like, I just. I couldn't think of, like, unconventional there.
Mary Kish
You know, I just don't think that you've ever pushed yourself. This doesn't actually have to be something that you've ever thought of before. This could be, like, for the first time in your life, you'd be like, you know the girl gremlin in Gremlins to a little.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, she's supposed to be.
Mary Kish
No, that's a hear me out, cake.
Mike Mahardy
She's supposed to be.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, Absolutely not. No way.
Mary Kish
That's a hear me out cake, though.
Dan Rykert
Not for me.
Mary Kish
That's.
Dan Rykert
Well, I don't want to fuck that gremlin.
Mary Kish
What if we. What if we covered her in nacho cheese?
Dan Rykert
No, that's not helping anything.
Mike Mahardy
There's definitely been some movies throughout. There's been many movies throughout my life that I, like, catch myself thinking, like, why am I. Why am I horny now? Like, Power Rangers, the Ivan Ooze. Anything to do with the Ooze?
Dan Rykert
Huh? Secret of the Ooze. Turtles?
Mike Mahardy
Secret of the Ooze?
Dan Rykert
Big Ooze?
Mike Mahardy
No, it was Power Rangers. Oh, Secret of the Ooze. But then, yes, Power Rangers was the.
Mary Kish
Ivan Ooze turtle would definitely be, like, a hear me out, cake situation.
Dan Rykert
Oh, you could.
Mary Kish
Because, like, you're pushing it anytime you're getting into any type of animal cartoon. You're starting to push the limitations here.
Dan Rykert
Pass on animals and cartoons.
Mary Kish
I mean, that's the point of this exercise again. And it can also be like a. Like a judgment free zone. No.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
And I agree with that stuff going on here.
Mike Mahardy
I could see. Here's one for you, Famke Janssen.
Dan Rykert
Okay.
Mike Mahardy
Covered in fur from head to toe.
Dan Rykert
No, he already lost me.
Mary Kish
He's not a furry.
Dan Rykert
No, he'll cut it down if you are, but.
Mike Mahardy
No, I'll get you there one day.
Dan Rykert
No, don't. That's a weird thing to.
Mike Mahardy
Sean, cut all this. We're not gonna have an episode left by the time he gets editing. Yeah, nothing else new for me, I don't think.
Mary Kish
Huh? What did I do? Oh, I went to a really cool themed bar.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, yeah, I saw that.
Mary Kish
I like a good themed experience. And this bar is called Raven's manor. And it's known for having kind of obscura, morbid curiosities. Right.
Dan Rykert
So a head in a jar.
Mary Kish
Yeah. Snake in a jar. Skeletons of like, animals that are real.
Mike Mahardy
A cursed dagger.
Mary Kish
Yeah. Actually, that's a great example.
Mike Mahardy
These are also all things I find unconventionally attractive. Okay. It's a good segue.
Mary Kish
They're all on your freak cake daggers.
Mike Mahardy
Yep.
Mary Kish
Anyway, for Christmas, they do Krampus, which is a nightmare holiday special. And they decorate the whole bar. It's already a scary bar. That's its point. Right. And it has like themed rooms and horror rooms that you have to like escape out of or whatever. That's. It's like thing. But now they've decorated it and it's fucking crazy. They had Christmas trees that were made of baby doll heads that were dismembered and weird looking, but the whole stack.
Mike Mahardy
In the shape of a Christmas tree.
Mary Kish
A regular traditional Christma tree with tinsel. But all of the ornaments are doll houses.
Mike Mahardy
All the ornaments are.
Dan Rykert
Okay, are they like bloody and stuff or.
Mary Kish
Yeah, some of them. They had elves that were being tortured in different ways on the walls.
Mike Mahardy
Elves. Like. Oh, Santa's elves.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mary Kish
Elf on a shelf.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, okay.
Mary Kish
And. But the elves were like. They were like chained and like being, you know, dismembered and stuff.
Dan Rykert
They had also on Mike's hear me out cake. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
We really have not moved on at all, actually.
Mary Kish
I'm starting to recognize what is on. Yeah, Frosty the Snowman. But he's got giant bangs and blood and a huge dick and it's a.
Mike Mahardy
Carrot down there too. Amanda didn't believe me when I told her there's a thing on Netflix, a movie called Hot Frosty.
Mary Kish
Hot Frosty.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. He comes to life and he's just like a babe.
Dan Rykert
Is it like a romantic comedy?
Mary Kish
It's.
Mike Mahardy
What's her name from all the 90s movies.
Mary Kish
Fetch.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. The girl who.
Mike Mahardy
No, no, no, sorry, not the 90s movie. It's Gretchen from. Is it Gretchen?
Dan Rykert
Gretchen. Gretchen Wieners.
Mary Kish
Gretchen Wieners from. From Mean Girls. Mean Girls. The girl who tries to make.
Dan Rykert
Oh, Lacy Cher.
Mary Kish
Yeah, yeah.
Dan Rykert
Oh, yeah.
Mary Kish
So she's in it and then. So she puts her scarf on a snowman because he's got like a six pack and she's like, wish you were real. And then he actually comes to life and bangs her.
Dan Rykert
That's a whole movie?
Mary Kish
Yeah.
Dan Rykert
Wow. What did they learn? Or whatever.
Mary Kish
You can bang snow. And he turned into a. Turn to a real guy.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, my God. Anytime a snowman come Up. It reminds me of these two.
Mary Kish
Hot frosty would be a good.
Dan Rykert
Oh, unconventional. But it just turns into a dude, right?
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Mary Kish
Snow form.
Dan Rykert
Oh, snow form, dude. Okay, Got it.
Mike Mahardy
My. These two idiots that used to live in my neighborhood in high school, they were. They spent like two hours making a snowman in the middle of their street. And the plan was to film them just running into it over with their car. And they drove into it and it just stopped the car dead in its tracks. And like, the car wrapped around this. They're completely fine. It just destroyed their car. And it was the. I saw the footage of it and knowing that they're. They were ok made it the funniest fucking video I've ever seen in my life because they just fucking plowed into it and it. It didn't move. It was the most like, well constructed snowman I've ever seen in my life.
Dan Rykert
Jesus.
Mike Mahardy
Those guys were me and my brother.
Mary Kish
The Jackass era.
Mike Mahardy
No, I wasn't.
Mary Kish
Television where we were all like ramming our grocery carts into like bushes and.
Mike Mahardy
Dan was running into trash cans in Hoboken a couple years ago.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, that was me. No, literally, during Jackass. I absolutely. I still have videos on my drive of like us getting in trash cans and rolling down hills. We gotten shopping carts behind Target and went way too fast and hit the curbs and flew out like. We. We did every single thing on the show that they said don't try to do at home. It's great. It's a great time. Jackass was, was and is fantastic. I love Jackass.
Mary Kish
They knew what they were doing. Anyways, this bar is filled with really dark, decrepit stuff. There were stockings on the ceiling and there's like dismembered hands in them.
Mike Mahardy
Do you have to reach in?
Dan Rykert
Are you encouraged to?
Mary Kish
No, they're like in the ceiling. You can't get in there.
Mike Mahardy
Any skin stockings?
Mary Kish
Skin stockings?
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, stockings made out of skin.
Mary Kish
They had lamps that had face skin. Like they had eye holes. Shade was a face. Yeah, it is. It's a very Portland thing, honestly. And anyway, all the drinks were funky little concoctions where they were like, this is Grinch juice and it's green. And it obviously used dry ice, so there was like smoke stuff cap, you know, it was a. A good theme experience where they put in a lot of energy to make this place look crazy. I don't think it would be for the faint of heart because it's so dark and gruesome. I think it's actually probably stressful to someone who doesn't like horror stuff. But for someone who really likes Halloween and enjoys Christmas festivities, it is the perfect combination of Halloween, Christmas I've ever had.
Dan Rykert
What's the name of it?
Mary Kish
I'm curious to look at Raven's Bar.
Dan Rykert
Ravens.
Mary Kish
Raven. Raven's Manor. Sorry, man. Raven's Manor.
Dan Rykert
Okay.
Mary Kish
They only do. They only do this Christmas thing from December to January. Like it's a December situation where they do like the trees with up stuff.
Mike Mahardy
What is it awesome.
Dan Rykert
All these pumpkins hanging off this. Yeah, yeah.
Mary Kish
And they have Krampus. He's like a animatronic guy and he's like, I'll eat your children. That's great.
Mike Mahardy
Is it. Is it still like a. What's the word I'm looking for? Is it still like a similar morbid curiosity theme the rest of the year just without Christmas?
Mary Kish
Yes.
Mike Mahardy
Okay.
Mary Kish
All year round. Weird shit. And during Christmas they're like, everything is Christmassy, but it's also still up.
Dan Rykert
They burn pentagrams into the hamburger buns.
Mike Mahardy
That's.
Mary Kish
Yes.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. This place is cool. I like this.
Mary Kish
Your drinks can come with tarot cards or we like they're served on a Ouija board plate.
Mike Mahardy
This stuff sure looks like they live in Portland. Yeah, they look. They seem awesome. I just like, I've never seen more. Four more Portland looking people in my life.
Mary Kish
They really do have that vibe to them. For sure.
Dan Rykert
For sure. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, okay. They've got like numb to plumes here. Mom. Mordred Elizabeth Raven, Lady Marianne Raven, AKA Lady Red.
Dan Rykert
All right, cool.
Mary Kish
It's good. I was thoroughly impressed because usually when you do stuff like this, like it feels a little hamstrung. These people are committed. This very committed space. It had. It even had like a casket and it had a sensor bar. So when you go past it, there's a knock from the inside. Like somebody's in there. It's just cute. Like they put a lot of energy into like making you a little scared and stressed out, but also just enjoy the Christmas festivities.
Mike Mahardy
I love to be stressed out at bars.
Mary Kish
I.
Mike Mahardy
Especially during the holidays.
Mary Kish
Yeah, it's during the holiday there's a special time where you get to be scared. In Christmas, I only get stressed the.
Dan Rykert
Bars, if I like go to order or drink and it just seems like it takes 20 minutes for the bartender to see you. So that would be my theme bar if I wanted to be stressed. Was just the bartender never looks at you.
Mary Kish
Your horror bar is that they don't know that you're there.
Dan Rykert
Yes, exactly. I'm Holding.
Mary Kish
And then you look at your hand and it's. Oh, it's back to the future style.
Dan Rykert
You're disappearing.
Mary Kish
Yeah. You look in the mirror and there's no one there.
Mike Mahardy
My back. I don't even know this. Either during college or immediately after. My friend and I were at a very crowded bar in New York actually. And he ended up. We were basically waiting for the bartender for so long that he ended up kind of like waving to try to flag her down. And she did not appreciate that. She said, never wave at bartenders. So he took it upon himself to try to get her. She left, went to the other side, and then instead of waving, he just kept trying to like make eye contact with her really wide eyed, like trying to get in her line of sight. And I think she. She actually ended up finding it funny as opposed to being further pissed. So it worked out. Yeah, that's good.
Mary Kish
Yeah, that's actually a really great ending because I would have thought that she would have just been even more pissed and that could have been a bad story.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, humor is good. There's.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, it worked out. There was that. That was the same bar. If I told you guys the story where this is like the middle of the day and we popped in. My. My friend at the time was doing like beer sales from breweries direct to different bars and he had to like make rounds. So he's like, yeah, I want to come with me. So I went to get a burger at this one place on the south end of Madison Square park that's no longer there. It used to be this like nautical theme bar. So I was sitting there eating a burger and the landlord of the like bar and a few apartments above it came down while my friend was talking to the, the bartender and this the manager and she struck up a conversation with me. I don't know how else to describe her besides just saying she was a character. Like she, she had. She had been at this building long enough to be able to like, you know, she had been renting out this bar for a long time. And she asked us what our names were. And he said, and I should also mention she seemed like she had been drinking since like 10am she asked us what our names were. We're like Mike and Nick. She's like Spike and Vic.
Mary Kish
What kind of crazy names are those?
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, we call each other Vic and Spike.
Dan Rykert
Sounds like a tag team.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, this all happened at the same bar over the years. I miss it, but. But yeah, anyway, I have.
Dan Rykert
I told you guys my stink bomb college thing That I used to do when bars were too busy.
Mike Mahardy
You'd let off stink bombs in crowded bars.
Dan Rykert
So basically there's like there was this one bar in Lawrence called Brothers that my friends like to go to. And like it was good in that it was like $50 you call it. So it's like you can get a Whiskey Coke for $50 on like a Friday night. But it was like a big kind of like bro y like bar with like a dance floor and stuff. And like I always hated that. I never wanted to like hear popular music. I never wanted to dance or anything. So my friends would just find people to dance with and then go to the dance floor and I would just grumble and sit at the bar and stuff. But like they would never serve me. It was just always so damn busy. And they would always serve like girls first and everything. So I'd just be standing there like a dope forever trying to get a beer. And so I would typically have stink bombs on me like the real bad ones in like glass that have like sulfurous like it will make an entire house smell like just the most potent fart ever for like a day and a half. And I would, if I was particularly salty that night or I couldn't get a drink, I would just crunch it under my foot and watch like mass amounts of people leave the bar just because like this smells so fucking bad here. And now I get to get my drinks.
Mary Kish
And you were just enjoying your fart filled bar.
Dan Rykert
That is, I mean that's better than not having a drink at a bar that.
Mary Kish
I don't know.
Mike Mahardy
It's just the most. I don't even, I don't. I'm too tired to tell you how pissed off that makes me that you did that.
Dan Rykert
I know, it's profit. There are plenty. I'm just like, oh boy, I would have kicked my own ass. That's my time travel back there.
Mike Mahardy
I don't have the energy to get to lay into you right now.
Mary Kish
I will say. When I first moved to San Francisco, I lived on a busier street that was right outside of a club. And within my first two weeks of moving in, the club would let out at 2 in the morning. And these people who are dancing in the club would put music on in their cars and dance in the street. And they did it every like weekend, you know, Friday and Saturday night.
Mike Mahardy
The one that I. That you lived in when I was there?
Mary Kish
Yeah, the one right off of Sutter. And I, I was so frustrated because they would party until 4 in the morning that Dan, I went to a store and bought stink bombs. And then next Saturday.
Mike Mahardy
Well, that's because.
Mary Kish
No, we are not. You're a monster. But I opened up my window and threw through stink bombs at them while they were doing their little dancing at three in the morning. And I did get them to stop doing it, I think. Well, I don't know if it was me.
Mike Mahardy
Did they see you doing it or.
Mary Kish
Were you doing it like, such a baby about it? I, like, opened. I turned off all the lights, I opened up my window and I kind of like, you know, tried to throw them as close as I could to the group and then like, hid and went back to bed. But they stopped doing it after a couple weeks. And so I figured there was. Maybe it was working. But I also heard that someone ended up getting stabbed at that club, so.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, it could have been the stabbing because he couldn't get a drink.
Mary Kish
He couldn't get a drink.
Dan Rykert
Yes. Wow. They still sell them. I was thinking like, oh, I wonder if they just don't sell those anymore. But they sell them on Amazon and they look exactly like cartoon guy going stinky on the. On the COVID Yeah, like glass vials.
Mike Mahardy
You have to break step up.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. They still just do this, don't they? Wait, Wet farts spray. Oh, I've never done fart spray, but.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, these are definitely the vials before. Yeah, this probably sprays. The spray is not fun.
Dan Rykert
I should buy some of these vials. They were.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, God.
Dan Rykert
I mean, you don't know.
Mary Kish
Sent them to your dad because it could have saved him from selling his house if he just made it really stinky.
Mike Mahardy
He sees the.
Dan Rykert
Working on that without the stink bombs.
Mike Mahardy
The neighbor's coming up to say hi and he just immediately starts dropping them on the deck and stomping on them.
Dan Rykert
Come back.
Mary Kish
Get out of here.
Dan Rykert
What are dude bombs? It's from the dude wipes, people.
Mike Mahardy
What are toilet.
Dan Rykert
Oh, dude dude bombs. Toilet Stink eliminator.
Mike Mahardy
What are dude wipes?
Dan Rykert
Oh, I guess I didn't know dude wipes because they sponsored like a Wrestlemania match. I assume it's just like, like sanitary wipes for when you're shitting, but, like, market. It's like the Dr. Pepper 10 of wipes for your butt.
Mike Mahardy
Okay. I don't know. It's Dr. Pepper you keep using is.
Dan Rykert
The one that's not for women.
Mike Mahardy
You keep comparing things to other things that I then have further questions about.
Dan Rykert
Dr. Pepperton is the one with 10 manly calories. It's not for women. Like Those diet sodas. Yes, gotcha.
Mike Mahardy
It's a clever, clever marketing wow.
Dan Rykert
There's lots of different. Man, the stink bomb industry has blown up since I last used one. They have Trump branded stink bombs.
Mary Kish
You should invest in stink bombs.
Dan Rykert
Stink bomb stock is going high.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. Stnk.
Dan Rykert
Is that an actual stock?
Mike Mahardy
Probably.
Dan Rykert
Oh, my. Oh, God. It's Stonks. That's what it is. Stonks ticker is stnk like a meme stock? Yeah. It sounds like it's probably some kind of thing. Yeah.
Mary Kish
I think stinks is funnier.
Dan Rykert
Stinks. Yeah, stinks. A good word for what it is.
Mary Kish
T S T I N X. Stinks.
Dan Rykert
We can't have five, can you, on your ticker?
Mary Kish
Can't. Well, the hashtag is S. Right. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Dan Rykert
No.
Mary Kish
Like, you use the money symbol.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, you do. Like dollar sign.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, you can use the dollar sign as the first S. Dollar sign.
Mary Kish
Tinks.
Dan Rykert
So you're saying Tink would be the.
Mike Mahardy
Okay, Tinks with an X. But. But then with the dollar sign, it looked like stinks.
Dan Rykert
Okay, Tinks stock.
Mike Mahardy
Did we just come up with are we going to be millionaires?
Mary Kish
I don't cut this from the episode.
Dan Rykert
No, there's nothing has the Tinks sticker.
Mary Kish
That's it. That's the one good stink.
Dan Rykert
Make that fire escape for stink bomb companies.
Mike Mahardy
Why is fire stock called Tinks on the stock trade?
Mary Kish
Why are they trading stocks at all?
Dan Rykert
They're all in on the stink bomb market.
Mike Mahardy
All right, listen up, everybody. Can I. Is that fraud? If I, like, encourage people to go buy a stock and probably shouldn't. Let's amplify it and if you pump and dump it.
Mary Kish
Yeah, there's an. Is illegal.
Dan Rykert
Wait, Tanks is at Tinks is a TikTok. This is an influencer. There's a woman named Tinks, so we'd have to fight her for it, but I don't think she's on the stock exchange. What does she do? What she influenced? She does the It's Me Tinks podcast on Stitcher Radio.
Mary Kish
Tinkerbell.
Dan Rykert
Pop culture and relationships. Oh, okay. In April 2022, a series of controversial tweets posted by Tinks Resurface on a thread in the subreddit r/tinkssnark.
Mike Mahardy
What was controversial?
Dan Rykert
They were fat, phobic and misogynistic, targeting stars such as Kim Kardashian. Oh, okay.
Mike Mahardy
Come on.
Dan Rykert
Did collaborate with tabasco sauce in 2023, though. So she came back.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Dan Rykert
She did a pinks bowl in Collaboration with Chipotle.
Mike Mahardy
Nice.
Dan Rykert
Wow.
Mike Mahardy
Takes the whole deal resurging.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
I wouldn't buy a stock, though.
Mary Kish
No, you're going straight to dumping. You're not pumping.
Mike Mahardy
Anticipatory dump. Yeah.
Dan Rykert
I don't know what that means. It's fun to say.
Mike Mahardy
All dump, no pump.
Mary Kish
Yeah, all dumped.
Mike Mahardy
I sent Dan a. Instagram is really honed in on my tastes. It's served me ads for these, like, T shirts that it's like, old school Japanese wood cut styles, but it's a black cat sitting like a human on a toilet smoking a cigarette. And it says, born to shit, forced to wipe.
Dan Rykert
And the cat's Instagram DM history is weird. It's a lot of, like, office wine memes and, like, me sending him Macho man at the Tower, doing a promo in Paris.
Mary Kish
Mercy humor.
Dan Rykert
We're in. Pu.
Mike Mahardy
Love it. From one masterpiece to Stephanie here, another masterpiece. We're here.
Mary Kish
Gonna.
Mike Mahardy
We're gonna bring the Eiffel Tower down. I. I gotta work on my macho man nightmare. I need more. I gotta. I need more coke.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, he never did drugs.
Mike Mahardy
Wait, let's give it a few more seconds because I don't want that to be the last thing we said right before. And we might have an ad goes up.
Dan Rykert
No, I think it should. Killing time.
Mike Mahardy
Just killing time.
Mary Kish
Do you guys want to talk about video games?
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, let's do it. All right, now that we've all got a jpeg of Famke Janssen, a Zenyanotop in our discord just staring at us, what's going on with Indiana Jones? This game sounds good.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, it's good. I kind of went in with no expectations of this one. I mean, it was machine games, which. I really like those Wolfenstein games a lot, but obviously, like, an indie game is going to feel different than that. So I was like, all right, we'll just see. You know, whenever you're dealing with, like, a big license like that, there could be, you know, changes that are. I don't know, I'm skeptical of license stuff. And I do feel like this is on par with, like, Batman, Arkham Asylum with, like, the most. I've been like, oh, shit. They just nailed the feel of this ip, like, you know, the way Arkham made me feel like, oh, this is like. I feel like Batman playing this game and everything that that entails. This feels like an Indiana Jones movie. And the stuff you are doing in it is not just. You're not just playing Wolfenstein and you've got an Indiana Jones skin On it is like the music things and the way the cutscenes kind of flow in and out of the action and what you're actually doing, you're not just like, you're barely using guns in this game. It's a lot of like grabbing weird stuff like frying pans and then like sneaking up, sneaking up on Nazis and knocking them out, pushing them off cliffs, things like that. But you're also just going through catacombs and underneath churches and things like that with like a torch and waving away scorpions and putting amulets and things. And slightly like it's. It is a lot more dishonored than it is. Like, I was thinking like first slash third person uncharted Indiana Jones game. I thought it was going to be very uncharted. And it is more dishonored than it is that you're like dressing up in certain. Like you're dressing up like a minor near like the pyramids. You're dressing up as a priest in the Vatican. So there is that kind of like stealth aspect to it and staying out of sightlines, a lot of sneaking up. It is like immersive sim more than it is an uncharted.
Mike Mahardy
Like, I would say that's pretty awesome. I. That's the most I've been interested in it so far.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, it's. I do feel like there are some pacing issues in that. Like, these areas are really big and they're extremely detailed. Like, you know, if you played the Wolfenstein games that Machine games did like, there's so much detail in the levels. So I think they. I was talking to Grub about this and I know he felt similar where it's like, it feel like it felt like they want to get their money or time, however you want to put it worth out of these huge areas. So like, the Vatican has a lot of side quests and stuff you can do. And I was enjoying it so much. I was like, I'm going to do all the side quests. And at a certain point it was like there are a lot of just like, oh, I talked to this nun and she can't find her book. And it's like, okay, well I got to walk over here, find her book, bring it back, little cutscene. And so they're not all like the best side quests necessarily, but I don't know if you're enjoying your time and you're not trying to rush through an area or whatever they're worth doing. You know, you get level up. Like you find these books and everything to level up. And it's got these adventure points. And so the fetch quests are getting you these things that will help you level up. So, I mean, they're. They're not for. Not or anything. It's just some of them are more exciting than others.
Mike Mahardy
So you go. So you start in the Vatican. You're also in Cairo or at Giza.
Dan Rykert
Giza.
Mike Mahardy
Where else do you go?
Dan Rykert
I am just leaving Giza now. Where I'm at.
Mike Mahardy
Is that the second one?
Dan Rykert
Yeah. There's like, some stuff in between. Like, you're on a blimp for a little bit as you're going down to Giza, and the opening is kind of like a Raiders of the Lost Ark callback, like the, you know, the idol in the stone and everything. But, I mean, Troy Baker kills it as Indiana Jones here. It's crazy because, like, Harrison Ford has a pretty distinctive voice, and he does. He's just nailed it.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, it didn't even occur to me that someone else would have to play it.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, yeah. I mean, even Harrison Ford's live. He's just like. I don't know. You hear the recent Conan podcast, he's like. He sounds like a gruff old man, you know? Oh, yeah, it's cool. He's hilarious on that podcast. But no, Troy, it absolutely nails it. It's super fucking good. And, yeah, it's just like the cutscenes. It really does seem like you're watching, like, a classic Indiana Jones movie. More so than, you know, Crystal Skull. I never saw the fifth one, the Dial of Destiny, but, like, this feels like it would fit right at home with, you know, the first three.
Mike Mahardy
So it didn't occur to me until you said this now that machine games went from one franchise where you're killing Nazis to Indiana Jones where you're killing, or I mean, beating Nazis up.
Dan Rykert
No, you can kill them, too. Yeah, you can definitely kill them. But, yeah, I mean, that's part of why I think this was such a. Interesting choice of developer for this. And I think it was a home run. It's like, well, okay, you've worked in this era before. I think the bigger risk is, like, oh, making Indiana Jones a first person game is probably something that not a lot of people would have expected, but it works. And I don't think when it does shift to third person when you're climbing ladders or use. There's a lot of using your whip to swing across, you know, gaps and stuff like that. It's not that jarring or anything. So I think it does work. But, yeah, the hand to hand stuff, it's. It's fine. Like, I don't think it's. It's not like this incredible deep fighting system, first person or whatever, but, like, when most of the encounters are like, I snuck up on this dude and fucked him up with like a lamppost, you know, it's. It's fine. Like, if it comes to blows, it's okay. It's blocking, it's parrying, it's left, right. It's charge attacks, things like that. Okay. But yeah, it's a lot of sneaking around. Like, you don't really have to. Like, if you're shooting a gun, you're kind of fucking up in this game because, like, there's so much stealth in disguise stuff going on that if you're just walking around a Nazi camp in Giza and you shoot a guy with a pistol, it's like, okay, well, now it's just turned into every Nazi in this camp coming after you. So behooves you not to.
Mike Mahardy
That Sal sounds way more interesting than I. Yeah, I was thinking it would be. I don't even know what I thought it would be. I knew they were going to kind of go for, like, more puzzle solving. I guess Uncharted is the obvious comparison, but yeah, the immersive sim aspect and like big sandboxy. Not that I. Not that I inherently like sandbox kind of mission structure, but. But there's something about Hitman Dishonored I love where you can kind of explore an actually dense environment that's not just filled with filler, even though it does sound like there's some filler.
Dan Rykert
Well, and the puzzles and the action and the stealth, all these aspects are not particularly. I don't mean to sound like an insult, but they're not particularly deep in the same way that the indie movies are not a hard, challenging watch. They're just fun. It's just a fun time at the movies. And this is just a fun video game. It's not like these puzzles are not like, I'm not breaking out the notepad and drawing symbols and things like that. It's pretty breezy overall.
Mary Kish
What's the story like?
Dan Rykert
Basically, there's a MacGuffin where it's like, oh, the great circle is this thing. It's this artifact where there's several different parts of it and it. You know, they think that you can get great power if you get all these pieces of the circle together. So the Nazis are trying to get it for their nefarious Nazi purposes, and Indy is trying to, you Know, beat them to it, basically. So pretty.
Mary Kish
So indie versus not Nazis.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, totally. Really?
Mary Kish
Yeah. Easy.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
And easy.
Mike Mahardy
It's the two best movies all over again.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, yeah, it's.
Mike Mahardy
There's no Nazis in Temple of Doom.
Dan Rykert
If I don't really. 1 and 3 definitely did, but. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, had a lot of them.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
Three.
Dan Rykert
I loved three because, like, three was the one that I was old enough to see in the theaters when it came out.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Dan Rykert
I just saw the first couple on vhs and yeah, I love three.
Mary Kish
Is that the one with the baby indie kid?
Dan Rykert
Indie three has River Phoenix at the beginning. Yeah, we're. It shows why he's afraid of snakes and stuff like that. And how he got his whip. It's like one of the first, like, times I remember being like, okay, we didn't really need to explain why this character, you know, was afraid of snakes.
Mary Kish
Or, like, likes whips.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, like, every character trait is explained in like a five minute scene. It's like, okay, we didn't need that. But sure.
Mike Mahardy
I'm excited to play that.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. And I'm not like a obsessive indie fan or anything. Like I said, I didn't even see the last one. I. I like Indiana Jones. I liked them a lot growing up, that first trilogy. But, yeah, so I went in. Not particularly, like, excited or pessimistic about it. I was like, yeah, let's see how this is. And I've been very positive on it since playing it. I'm like 12 hours in, I would say.
Mary Kish
Some people are like, already calling this their personal goatee, which I think is very. I mean, it's. It's a huge deal to, like, have it skyrocket to your list that quickly. Do you think it's at that level or do you think it's also like, end of the year madness, where it's like, hey, this is the game that was good that I played this close to Go, so. So it's top of Mind recency bias.
Dan Rykert
I think it'll probably be, like, in the lower half of my top 10, I think, by the time the year's done. But I guess we're gonna have to wait and see when Fire Escape does its game of the year for 2020. When are we doing that?
Mike Mahardy
2025.
Dan Rykert
Oh. Oh, right. Okay. Well, we'll find out next October or something.
Mary Kish
Would you have crammed it into argot, do you think?
Dan Rykert
I don't think it would. Well, what was our final top 10? That's an interesting question. I wonder if we pull that up Real quick. I don't remember what our top 10 was. I would not have tried to make it.
Mike Mahardy
Helldivers, Astrobot.
Dan Rykert
Those all would stay. I think. I wouldn't put any above any of those. I don't think. Yeah. Okay. I'm looking at our top 10 here. Helldivers, Astro, Prince of Persia. Wild Bastards Like a Dragon. Lorelei, Crow country. Ufo Metaphor. I mean, there's obviously the ones that I wouldn't. You know, I'm not in a metaphor. Anyway, I would maybe put this above ufo. Ooh, yeah. And I like ufo.
Mary Kish
It's.
Mike Mahardy
It's eligible for next year's game of the year. By our. By our.
Mary Kish
By our definition. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
And Valgard, which I gotta play.
Dan Rykert
I'm not gonna play that.
Mike Mahardy
I didn't say you have to.
Dan Rykert
I'm just gonna say, hey, you can't make me.
Mike Mahardy
Not going to.
Mary Kish
Okay, buddy?
Mike Mahardy
I got bigger fish to fry.
Dan Rykert
That looks like a nerd game.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, it is. It's probably very. It's definitely very nerdy. Mary, what have you been playing?
Mary Kish
I've been playing this new indie game called.
Dan Rykert
Oh, you've been playing indie too?
Mary Kish
You are so silly. Remember when you said you were you were an advocate for indies earlier this year? Number one advocate for indies.
Dan Rykert
Almost my number one.
Mike Mahardy
Balatra was my number one. Or no, it wasn't. It's number two. So I guess I think I like indies more than Dan. Dan's always just chilling for the AAA games.
Dan Rykert
I'm looking at my top 10 of the year and they're mostly indies.
Mike Mahardy
I don't know. Read it off.
Dan Rykert
Balatro Mini Shoot Adventures. Thank Goodness you're here. UFO 50 wild bastards. Are those not indie games?
Mike Mahardy
No.
Mary Kish
No.
Dan Rykert
Call of Duty.
Mike Mahardy
Waiting for the outlier.
Dan Rykert
Indiana Jones Astrophot.
Mary Kish
So NYAD is a one person team made by one person. And it is a very calming zen like experience where you are playing, I want to say a water nymph or a girl that is only underwater, essentially. Your face can come up every once in a while, but it doesn't seem.
Dan Rykert
She doesn't have a face. I'm looking at her.
Mary Kish
Yeah. The graphics are simple, but I think delicate and easy on the eyes. So I would just say this is a simplified looking and sounding game. But it appeals to the senses in the sense that this is clearly meant to have a calming effect on the player. You are swimming down this river and you will come across visual elements that are puzzles. But the game doesn't literally tell you what to do. And I'll give you an example you will see lily pads, and you will see. You'll swim a little further, and you'll see frogs on rocks. And you might think to yourself, oh, when I get near them and I make a little noise, my nymph makes, like, a little sound. I can knock the frogs off of the rocks, and they follow me, and then I will take them to the lily pads, and they will jump on the lily pads. And if I can get all the frogs to get on the lily pads, something happens. And so the game is very softly encouraging you to solve these visual puzzles, but it's also trying not to, like, overdo it or tell you literally what to do. That can be frustrating in the sense that sometimes you will be. Sometimes I feel like you'll be like, what am I supposed to do here? And the game isn't literally telling you what to do, and that's frustrating. But most of the time, you can. You can figure out what the game is trying to do. I'll give you another one that's pretty obvious, which is like, you'll see a duck, and you'll keep swimming, and you'll see ducklings. And it's like, these ducklings probably need to be with their mom. And so you're guiding things back to their home, or you're putting them in a certain order. You know how, like, in Zelda, how you would see symmetrical rocks and one rock would be off slightly, and you would think to yourself, like, I should put a rock there. And when you do, the little guy would go, yeah, you found me. Okay. It's that I love you. You will find things and you will say, oh, I think something's a little off, and you'll fix it, and then you will get rewarded.
Dan Rykert
Is it. So is it just general exploratory, or is there, like, a critical path? Like, are there fights or anything? Or, like.
Mary Kish
Yeah, it's a good question. There's no boss battles. This is a very relaxing game. I keep saying that, but, I mean, I couldn't expl Express that more. There's even. You can go down the waterfall path. Like, you can keep going and not solve these things, which is very interesting to me. And I think if you just literally go down all the waterfalls and don't do any of these puzzles, you probably burn through this game in, like, 40 minutes. But that's not the point. If you do the puzzles, some of which are quite intricate, it. I'm sure this game would take four or five hours. Like, I got stuck a couple times, and then I accidentally went down the waterfall. And then I was just in a new area. So it just doesn't punish you if you don't want to figure it out.
Mike Mahardy
You.
Mary Kish
You don't have to. You don't have to do anything, really. There's also puzzles that I think are a little too complicated because they don't, again, tell you what to do. And so you'll be. There will be like, maybe these people that are mining and if you release, animals will follow you if you make a noise. So maybe you get an animal to get close to them and it scares them. Some of these are simple puzzles where it's like, put two and two together. Some of them are put two and two and two together. And some of these puzzles are like, hey, there's eight steps for you to finish this. And I have been like, six steps through not knowing what else to do and being like, whatever, I'm going down this waterfall. Like, as soon as I felt frustrated, I just left. I would like to play through it and actually solve every puzzle. But in the spirit of what this. This game is doing, if I ever was like, I don't know what this game wants me to do, I just quit and gave up. Like, went down the river and relaxed.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, it looks like a lazy river, which I'm a big lazy river guy.
Mary Kish
It is. It's very lazy river. I think it is meant for you to just. It is just meant for you to relax and enjoy. It's. It's audibly, like. It's very comforting and calming. Your sounds are very light and easy. All the sounds of the environment are nice. You'll hear the frogs and the ducks and the environment. There's like, bees buzzing and you interact with some animals as well. There's. Oh, it's neat in the. In the menu. It'll show you all the fauna in every area that you've discovered. And so there were animals that I didn't discover in certain areas. I'd like to replay and find them all, but again, you don't have to. You can fill your Rolodex full of all the alligators and the eels and all the different funky animals, or you could just not do that and, And. And just go down the river. So I think it's. It depends on the type of person and gamer you are. I would say for someone who's like, hey, I need relaxing games that calm me down and give me, like, an ease to my evening. This is for you. If you're like, no, but I do want, like, a challenge and I want to Be able to like min max my experience. This is not for you. There's no min maxing, there's no boss fight, there's no score. This is more of an experience, I would say than like a traditional video game. But you are interacting with the environment. You are simple puzzles. I will say, even though I say simple, there were a couple that stumped me that I did not solve. So I don't think this is an easy walkabout game. But the beauty of it is that you can always ignore the puzzles and continue on your journey. You don't have to solve anything.
Mike Mahardy
It's a good looking game.
Dan Rykert
It makes me think of a. Does it play like Tubin for the nes? Look at the discord. Look at this box art of tubin.
Mike Mahardy
Oh hell yeah.
Dan Rykert
That is box art right there. Everyone look up Tubin for the NES by Tengen. That's a fun game. You're on a tube.
Mary Kish
Got some tubing motivations to you.
Dan Rykert
Nyad is a tubin. Like.
Mary Kish
I think it's tubin. Like I think it has some aspects of tubin.
Dan Rykert
That's a really funny genre name. We gotta get tubin like over.
Mary Kish
I, I think it is like meant to just relax, go down the river, don't worry about your life. But I will also just say like I was relaxed when I played this. I played this casually on my couch on my Steam deck, which is like one of my favorite ways to play games. I felt very relaxed throughout the experience. I wish that the puzzles were a bit more intuitive. I could see that they weren't literally trying to tell me what to do. But there were a couple times where I was like, I don't fully understand what I'm supposed to do next. And there's also secret tunnels throughout this game and if you aren't putting your body next to every wall, you might miss a secret entrance that you needed to complete a puzzle. So that can be a little frustrating. But again like it's not meant to be. Like you can just. You could just relax your way through this game. So anyway, I enjoyed it. I. I finished it in. Yeah, I think it's like three to four hours. It's not, it's not like a long experience, but a delightful way to spend an evening and I like it.
Dan Rykert
Nice.
Mary Kish
Also one guy. It's so cool when a games are made by one guy.
Mike Mahardy
Playing on, on your PC or on my Steam Deck.
Mary Kish
I played it on my Steam Deck and I think it lends itself to a Steam Deck. Like it is a. It is a steam Deck style game in my opinion. You can sit on a couch and play this.
Dan Rykert
And I love Steam Deck. I was I think all the time about how much I love Steam Deck and I had a moment the other night where it's like, okay, Kayla's going to stream so I want to put her up on the TV and then. But I really want to play indie. I wonder if that can run on my Steam Deck. And I'm looking up stuff about like how can indie run on a Steam Deck? And it's like, ah, not really that well. I realized, wait a minute, I can fucking stream to my like from my 4090 computer in the other room. And I'm playing it, looking great, not downloading anything locally to the Steam Deck. And I'm just playing Indiana Jones on my Steam deck in the other room. Fuck this. This is what an incredible device this is.
Mary Kish
The future is here.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, it's good.
Mary Kish
It's really. It's really nice to experience it like that. And so I, I enjoyed this. But I also think it's probably not for everyone. It's definitely for people who are looking for this type of experience. I would sell it to someone who's like, hey, I get really stressed out at my job and I like to play a game that doesn't require my whole brain. Half a brain. Sometimes I'd be playing, sometimes I'd be watching something on Netflix or like listening to music. This is that type of experience. You could just. I think it's extremely meditate, meditative. It even has not haikus, but I would say very short poems that you're meant to just listen, observe and move on. They you don't get rewarded again. I. I think I got like a couple achievements, but that's not this type of game. One time I found a secret and it gave me a small poem and then I was like, is that it? And then I just left. Like that was it. I was like, oh, you got. You know, the wind breathes softly. All right, get the out. And that was it. You know, they. This is not meant to be more intense than you think it is. It's a very simple concept.
Dan Rykert
Nice.
Mike Mahardy
Speaking of Steam Deck, Dan, I heard I saw your back into vampire survivors.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
What?
Dan Rykert
Why are you lying? Mary just posted. Jake's going to be so confused. This is in the shared discord. It's two pictures of Vampka Janssen, the box art for tubin for the nes and then. Mary, what the fuck was your prompt.
Mike Mahardy
For this is a hot cheese girl?
Mary Kish
I did. You were doing Hear me out. So I Google AI image searched a woman made of nacho cheese and I put in the discord like a woman. She's pretty hot and human looking, but she is made of nacho cheese.
Dan Rykert
I mean, it looks like I would just be worried she'd be getting some like third degree burns with the nacho cheese. Okay, now there's. Oh, folks, this is bad stuff happening in our discord right now. I don't like it. No, I'm not horny about this. Well, but it is going in between Mike repeatedly spamming Ginia on a top photos.
Mary Kish
You are supposed to be confused. They are meant to. You're not supposed to.
Dan Rykert
It's 100% confused, 0% horny. No, no. This is fucked up.
Mike Mahardy
I hate this. This is really a funny photo about.
Dan Rykert
Mary just keeps posting. AI tortilla ladies. I hate it.
Mary Kish
They're cheese women. I'm just trying.
Dan Rykert
I don't want cheese.
Mary Kish
I'm just trying to find your level. Here's the thing. I bet if there's like beautiful woman.
Mike Mahardy
These are all hot women still and.
Mary Kish
There'S some cheese on them. AI, you're probably still turned on. And so my question is, at what level of cheese are you like? That's too much cheese.
Dan Rykert
Okay.
Mike Mahardy
Radio.
Dan Rykert
Okay, listen. Okay, let's go back to the Monica Bellucci thing. If you dribbled some nacho cheese and Monica Bellucci, she would still be very hot. I think it would have to be like you dump like, you know, Pizza the Hut from Spaceballs. I think it's that much cheese. Harmonica Bellucci to not be hot.
Mike Mahardy
This is really fun for me.
Dan Rykert
This is a weird discord.
Mary Kish
This discord better not be ever be searched by the FBI because it is mostly.
Dan Rykert
God.
Mike Mahardy
Okay, this is all. This is my last one. Hold on.
Mary Kish
These are really fun though, to construct.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, actually, okay, yeah, hear me out. When Fabka Janssen is like AK47ing the vents.
Dan Rykert
Oh, she has the orgasm while she's shooting the gun.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Dan Rykert
I think that was the first time I ever saw an orgasm happening. I don't think it was like a shoot orgasm.
Mike Mahardy
But yeah, yeah, I saw that orgasm that o many times.
Dan Rykert
I was like, what's happening here, Dan?
Mike Mahardy
So you've been playing for vampire survivors. It's my favorite gift of all time. This is great. Radio.
Dan Rykert
It's just posting camps and describing them. Vampire survivors in radio school.
Mike Mahardy
Why did you get back into vampire survivors? Was it for the Castlevania DLC DLC.
Dan Rykert
Which is just the most bonkers shit I played 47 hours of this game in the last two weeks. Yeah, it is. Is just unreal. Like, I have loved this game. I'm on my.
Mike Mahardy
I've also been playing on my flights. Not the Castlevania. I'm still getting through the Japanese stuff and the Contra and Among Us and all that. Yeah, not Among Us yet. I didn't get the Among Us one.
Dan Rykert
I restarted again because I did it on one Steam account, then I did it on Xbox. Am I done on Switch? And now I'm playing it all again to. With the Castlevania stuff. And it's like, this is one of my favorite games of all time. And this Castlevania thing is, like, bigger than the original release. And I thought, I don't want to spoil certain things, but, like, every time I thought, I'm like, okay, I'm probably. Probably done with this. I unlocked the last thing or I got to this part on the map or whatever. There are moments where it's like, are you fucking kidding me? With the amount of stuff that it opens up and grows and like, this is the ultimate Vampire Survivors experience now. Like, this. This DLC is unreal. And even just the way that the map is laid out. And it's not just like, you know, like. Like, all the maps have different gimmicks and challenge levels and stuff like this, but this is like a full level where you're just unlocking warp points and unlocking doors and all these boss fights and everything and hidden items you can find. It is. And for a game that is so, like, aesthetically, you know, pretty inspired by Castlevania, you can tell, like, and Contra.
Mike Mahardy
That that made sense as well.
Dan Rykert
The level of love for Castlevania is so apparent here because it is, like, obscure characters and enemies and stuff like that. And it's like, just the love of Castlevania is all over this. And it's just got me thinking about the series Ton again. Like, I talked Kayla into playing Symphony of the Night. She's never played a Castlevania before. So she started streaming that, and I'm watching her play Symphony of the Night, I'm like, God damn it, Castlevania is so fucking good. So I'm just on a huge Castlevania kick right now. I have so much appreciation for that series. It makes me want to play the DS once again on that new thing they put out, the Dominus Collection. And yeah, if you have not played Vampire Survivors yet, right now is such an easy. Like, I don't know if there's a bundle deal on Steam or something. But like, like the base game and all of the DLC are all like a few bucks each. Just get this game. It is so fantastic.
Mary Kish
The price point is so reasonable for the amount of gameplay that you can have in it.
Dan Rykert
Oh yeah. I've gotten so much more joy out of this like three dollar game than I've gotten out of many seventy games. It's just. It really is one of my favorites of all time.
Mike Mahardy
Now I've been jumping around the DLC so much, I still haven't even completed the 1.0 collection. Oh yeah, like from the base, like. Cause I have a bunch of the characters and weapons unlocked from the Japanese from the Moon spell, Magic Forest 1, which, yeah, that's not my favorite, but it was still like they've got some really useful weapons to have good.
Dan Rykert
Unlock all those. Yeah. And then you can bring those into the Castlevania map.
Mike Mahardy
The Japan one can get tough if you're not building the character right. But I've done the Contra stuff more now. Not the Among Us, but Castlevania. I still haven't started. I'm trying to just build out the actual original collection. There's still a few I'm missing. Yeah. But yeah, that game is still my favorite playing game. I've been playing it a lot on.
Mary Kish
I'll probably play it on the flight that I have like coming up. I think these are like. It's just such a good flight game and I think it just continues to be one for the books in terms of like easy playing. You can pick it up, you can finish a game in like 40 minutes if you're doing well. If you do lose or like, let's say you like ran out of power. You wouldn't be like, no, like you'll be fine. Like you'll survive. Vampire.
Dan Rykert
Well. And it's just. It is so cool for such simple concept of just you're moving the stick around and you're picking up grades. There is a level of depth to it and humor and secrets and like there's way more going on to this game that you might think if you just played a handful of just like, oh, running around trying to survive to 30 minutes. It's like, no. There's a lot to think about as far as evolutions and strategies and unlocks and things. It's really something special.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, I love it. What was the. I love the stuff where you have to like combine four items to get a upgrade to evolution. Like the Divine Path or whatever it's called. The.
Dan Rykert
Well, there's Ones with the arrows and, you know, the lancets and.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, those are always a blast. I love the weapon. I think it's from the moon spell. It's just a cat. Cats come flying off from off screen and eat people.
Dan Rykert
That's in the base game. Yeah. One of the characters could do that.
Mike Mahardy
Interesting. But, yeah, that game is rad. That's basically all I've been playing outside of work stuff lately, which has been. It's a nice way to turn off. Oh, yeah, what. What else you been playing, Dan?
Dan Rykert
Call of Duty. Still playing multiplayer. It's awesome. It's just like. It's been introducing, like, they turned Nuketown into holiday, you know, version for. For December.
Mary Kish
And it's like Christmas theme.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. And it's not just like, oh, they made it snowy. It's like, there's a lot of care and, like, all the houses are decorated with, like, Christmas stuff. And there's like, Christmas. There's this Christmas event to unlock for, like, the next 12 days or whatever, so. And now Bonk's in now, too. So Bonk's from, like, normally, you know, Bonk and I generally gravitate towards different genres of games and everything. And, you know, I've been loving this so much and talking to her about it a lot. And she started playing some multiplayer. She's playing it right now upstairs. And so now we've been doing at night. Like, I'll just bring the gaming laptop up. I'll just set it up, like, on a TV tray on the couch. She'll be playing on the big screen, and we will just crank up the sound and just play tons of multiplayer. Like, pop a couple double XP things at the same time. Be like, all right, we're in for an hour and then just play. It's. Oh, man, it's so good. It has just been skyrocketing up my games of the year. I. I'm. I don't know. I just. It feels so good to be. It's like an old recognizable, like, oh, Call of Duty. Man. I really, really enjoyed this game in the past. It's been a few years and. God damn it. It's just good to have back, you know?
Mike Mahardy
Do you think you like 2019 reboot multiplayer better or this?
Dan Rykert
I think I like this more. I think this is, like. This might be my favorite Call of Duty. It's. It's like this and four, basically, like the first Modern Warfare. Like, this is the first time I've prestiged since call of Duty 4. Yeah. And it's smart stuff. Too where you can like set, you know, permanent unlocks when you prestige. They've probably done that before but I never prestige in previous ones lately.
Mike Mahardy
So yeah, for seasonal past few past two at least has been season based.
Dan Rykert
Oh, interesting.
Mike Mahardy
Couldn't just do it. They brought it back where you could just proceed prestige at your own pace in this one which was a very nice come back for sure.
Dan Rykert
Oh nice, nice. Yeah, just smart decisions all over the place with this game and like yeah, we'll probably end the podcast tonight and I'm either going to play Call of Duty or Vampire Survivors.
Mike Mahardy
Why are you playing Command and Conquer Generals? I mean I like that. I like that game to some extent, but I see that's on the list.
Dan Rykert
Well, because like in the last. Because I wanted to ask you about this Mike, because like in the last year or so might have been more. They added all of the Command and Conquer games to Steam which you used to have to like. It was the only thing I used Origin for before. It's like, oh, I bought that ultimate collection. All these Command and Conquer games are on there like now. They're all on Steam now and I.
Mike Mahardy
Realized like Red Alert 2 as well.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're all there. Yeah. And they run great.
Mike Mahardy
Oh shit.
Dan Rykert
I don't know if online. You might have to do some stuff to get online working. I'm not sure but you know, at the height of my Command and Conquer obsession with Like Red Alert 2 in like the early 2000s, Generals was the next one but that was the one where it went from sprite based graphics to polygons and I had my shitty emachines computer that could not run anything with polygons. So like fuck, I so want to play the new Command and Conquer. I'm coming off my favorite one ever. And so I bought it and I was not able to play it. And like also you couldn't return it to Best Buy because it was a PC game and opened up and all that stuff. So really got hosed on that one. So for. Yeah, so for like 25 years or so I've been like, fuck, this is the game that like I had to stop playing Command and Conquer because my computer just couldn't run it. And I was like, let's go back, let's see how it is. And so I've done a couple campaign levels of streamed them the other night and I think I'm going to go forward. It's. I'm curious what the general vibe is on Generals among Command and Conquer fans because I am Enjoying it quite a bit. And Mike, I don't know if you spend much time with it. You were a big Red Alert guy.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, I played a lot of generals. Have you played Zero Hour yet? The.
Dan Rykert
No, but I had that. I was going to do that if I finished the campaign of this.
Mike Mahardy
Okay. So I could be talking my ass. But my take on generals when it first came out was this is a bit too realistic. Like it's China, the plo. I forget what they're calling this and America. So they lost a lot of the like zaniness of the like faux Cold.
Dan Rykert
War nuke going on and just weird Einstein traveling and all that.
Mike Mahardy
You can get through most missions and like skirmishes just by upgrading the Humveets all the way for America. Yeah, I still liked it a lot, but it was like, wow, this guy got. They're like using dirty bombs. This got two Iraq War era. Yeah. Like when we were back in Iraq, I was scammed. Yeah. Zero Hour, on the other hand, I feel like that's a bit of a reaction to the criticism that I got a bit too realistic. The thing with zero, that's super cool. And this is very like Total War or Starcraft, they added these very cartoonish generals for. So there's a three factions still. They might have added four forth, but each of those three factions has a general who has their own twist on the faction.
Dan Rykert
Okay.
Mike Mahardy
So you. One of the Chinese generals will like all of a sudden the tanks. He's. He loves. He's obsessed with lasers. So all of the shit has lasers on it.
Dan Rykert
Okay.
Mike Mahardy
There's an American general who really likes tanks. So you get a bunch of upgrades for tanks. It's like, it's again like real time strategy games after this. Like Starcraft 2 Total War games. They do this now. It's pretty standard. Like there's legendary lords within each faction or race. In Warhammer, it's. It's a fucking blast. Like the laser dude. Even his defense turrets are lasers now. It's. And it's also. You could tell they were going back to the goofiness of like the. The Kremlin phone call scenes from Red Alert.
Dan Rykert
Okay, that's good to know because that is something I've noticed is that like I'm really enjoying the gameplay from what I've seen. But like I was like starting campaign missions and being like, okay, when am I gonna see James Earl Jones yelling at me for something silly? Or like some Xenia on a top looking lady sending me to nuke something.
Mike Mahardy
I don't remember the campaign, to be specific. I played the skirmishes, but again, yeah, like, Zero Hour. I. I almost had a. I always had a blast with. Yeah, because it's like, engage opposing forces at hotspots around the globe as you match strategies and arsenals against the new masterminds of modern war. So it's this, like, rogues gallery of people who are into one thing or another. Like, let me try to remind myself.
Dan Rykert
I wonder if I should just skip to that then, or if I. I mean, these aren't. I don't really long, you know.
Mike Mahardy
No, I don't remember the campaigns really well at all. I just like the skirmishes. I like going. Trying all the different General Zero Hour generals.
Dan Rykert
That's what I always did, even with, like, Red Alert. Like, I don't even necessarily remember doing the campaigns for, like, Red Alert or the old, like, Tiberian sun ones. But, yeah, I'm a big skirmish guy.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, it's GLA is what they're called. PLO is the real. Is a real thing. Generals Challenge. Okay, here we go. Generals Challenge was the mode I loved. It was, in this mode, the player takes on the identity of one of the nine generals and battles other generals one by one, ultimately confronting a powerful boss general who you'd violate. It's like a tournament. It's a. It's a blast. And then you. They Each. Each of them have, like, different obsessions that leads them to certain bonuses. I mean, Red Alert 2 had the, like, Korea had the Grand Canon, Germany had the Tank Destroyer. They had the bespoke units for each of the countries. But. But this one is very much more like cartoonish villains and stuff.
Dan Rykert
Nice. I. I remember In Red Alert 3, they had Ric Flair play one of the generals. I think it was in, like, a DLC or something. And whenever I would meet wrestlers, typically, I would like to, like, you know, I never want to be the guy that just asked the question that everyone's asked a million times, like, oh, what do you think about? So the first time I met Ric Flair was the JW Marriott Bar in probably, like, 2011. And I sat down next to him, had a drink, and I started talking to him, and I'm like, hey, I love Command and Conquer. I thought it was weird and cool. When you were in Red Alert 3 as one of the generals, he's like, what? I was like, the video game that you remember, you did all the commercials where it's flare versus Bear, and you were fighting a guy in a bear suit, and you were in the game yelling at the player, he's like, what are you talking about? I was like, you were in a video game. Ric Flair. And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
Mary Kish
That's so awkward. And then you just left?
Dan Rykert
No, I was sat there for a while. I took a picture of him. He had three gin and tonics in front of him. He had the largest.
Mary Kish
Did you show him the game?
Dan Rykert
I might have pulled it up, but then he just started talking about, like, his wrestling career from the 80s. And, like, oh, man, in the 80s. We really. Man, we were really rocking and rolling in the 80s. I was like, yes, I know that, but can we talk about Command and Conquer?
Mike Mahardy
Did he just forget it, literally, or was he trying to deny it?
Dan Rykert
I think he forgot. And then I was pissed off because we did a podcast episode with John Cena, and I would help our host come up with, like, questions for him and stuff like that. And I was like, okay, you gotta ask Cena about Command and Conquer. Because somebody asked him about it once on a red carpet and he wouldn't stop talking about, like, his KOV strategy and Red Alert, too. Like, Cena is, like, into red alert. And then, like, the conversation never really went that way. It's like, God damn it, I want to talk to John Cena about Command and Conquer.
Mike Mahardy
His strats.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
What's. What was. What was the meta like back when he was playing?
Dan Rykert
He just built a ton of Kirovs. Yeah. Yep. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Remember when we did that, the Live Stream series, where.
Dan Rykert
Yes.
Mike Mahardy
I had. How did it. What happened? We basically were, like, destroying each other's bases, like ships in the night. And I had a Kirov left, and you had a tank which could not attack the Kirov.
Dan Rykert
Right.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, my God, I've won. I just need to go kill him. But of course, you. The Kirov's not fast enough to catch the tank, so you just ran all over the map. Until I was forced to surrender. Because you were more stubborn than I was.
Dan Rykert
I wasn't going to give up. There's no fucking way.
Mike Mahardy
But I was like, I. I was like, this is not fun for people to watch.
Dan Rykert
So I didn't care. No, I was thinking about victory.
Mike Mahardy
I was thinking about the viewers.
Dan Rykert
That's why I was thinking about victory.
Mary Kish
I'm like that, too, in. In board games. If I'm going to lose, I'm just going to draw it out until everyone's miserable.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. Battle of attrition. Yeah, totally.
Mary Kish
100%. Yeah. I will not go quietly into that dark night that's the way to be.
Mike Mahardy
Harry, have you been playing anything else besides Naiad?
Mary Kish
I played a little bit more Silent Hill. I am trying to get through it. It is so scary. I am getting to the point where that game gets progressively scarier and it has really forced me to do additional combat. There is a section where I've met. It's my wife's dupe, Mary's lookalike, her friend or whatever. And she's kind of like, weirdly, I don't know, she's like, kind of sexy and she's like, kind of hitting on me. She'll, like, touch me and I'll be like, whoa, I'm looking for my dead wife. And she'll be like, I'm just messing with you. And it's like, well, there's like headless legs trying to kill us. So I don't really feel like having a big old lull with you right now. She just. There's something about. This is not the remake. This is just more of a critique of the original, which is just, like, the characters are often nonsensical. This lady's idea that she can have a little riff with me when I am going through a hellish nightmare. And I think maybe the ghost of my dead wife needs me. And so I am going through hell itself to find her. And this girl is like, do you want to go to this strip club? It's just a crazy place, you know, like, anything can happen there. And it's just like, like, what are you talking about?
Dan Rykert
Silent Hill? No, thank you.
Mary Kish
It's just so odd that they try to sell me on this character. And she looks very much like my dead wife. So, like, the character is so off put by this woman and she's constantly like, I don't know, what are we going to do? And then right as we get to a. We're. We're in the nurse facility. Like, we're. We're like in a doctor unit, which is fucking terrifying. This is where the nurses come out, right? And they're very difficult to kill. You have to use shotgun shells to kill these nurses. They're very intense. And I'm walking around with this fucking useless twig who's telling me that she's kind of attracted to me, but, like, not really. Just joking. We go into a room after we kill like eight nurses, and she's like, I'm tired. I'm gonna take a nap. And she lays down in this mattress and goes to sleep. She's asleep right now. And I'VE been murdering dead people.
Mike Mahardy
Is that why Is that how video games work in your head? Like, because you're not playing it, she just stays asleep until you play it again?
Mary Kish
Still there. As far as I know, it's just.
Dan Rykert
The real time clock still going.
Mary Kish
She's still there. Schrodinger's stick napping away. And I'm just blown away that they originally that they designed this character. And I think this is probably more of a game design decision where they were like, we don't want you to have a NPC that's following around in these sections. It'd be really irritating. And we don't want to make more dialogue for her. So she's going to take a nap now. But the, the, the decision, the story arching decision that like this character will now just take a nap so that you don't have to deal with them for the next three sections of the game is so funny to me. All the beautiful graphics and all of the upgrades in the world can't stop me from laughing at the fact that like this woman that I've been dealing with for the last three hours is like me sleepy now and just lays down. I mean, I'm done.
Dan Rykert
I like the Resident Evil 4 style with Ashley where it's like, okay, I don't want to deal with you during this combat scenario, so just get in a dumpster. Yeah, it's like, all right, there, there's a story.
Mary Kish
I'm putting you in a locker.
Dan Rykert
Just go in there until I'm done killing everyone.
Mary Kish
Yes, I agree. I, I think that. And there's also something about Silent Hill that is more serious than Resident Evil. Resident Evil joked a lot and it let you make fun of it sometimes because it was just like, yes, this is fantasy and strange, so laugh at these silly characters. Silent Hill takes itself very seriously and I just don't think you're supposed to laugh. There's another character. I forget his name. Everyone who plays this game. Yeah, the chubby guy.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
Okay. I just saw them in a movie theater and he's eating melted ice cream out of the bucket. And so he's talking to me. And in his one hand is a full giant ice cream bucket. And he keeps scooping it out with his fingers and sucking pink ice cream off of his fingers while he's saying to me, I'm not really ready to leave yet. It's nasty.
Dan Rykert
And hear me out.
Mike Mahardy
We found it finally. Eddie sucking ice cream off his fingers.
Mary Kish
Dan, we got you.
Mike Mahardy
That's exactly.
Dan Rykert
I'm not actually horny I was.
Mary Kish
Don't hide your boner, Dan. It's okay.
Dan Rykert
I'm a boner.
Mary Kish
The desk. It's great that you found something that gets your rocks off.
Dan Rykert
I'm boner free.
Mary Kish
Someone 247 melted strawberry ice cream off of their fingers is exactly what Dan likes.
Dan Rykert
That's my thing.
Mike Mahardy
Let's get. Let's get Firescape Cash shirts that just say boner free 24.
Dan Rykert
With no logo anywhere on it.
Mike Mahardy
No, it's not all dumping.
Mary Kish
No pumping.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mary. I watched because I never really loved the gameplay of Silent Hill. I appreciated the like, psychological take on horror. You know, it made it different than residential evil, but so I never really knew what the was going on in that game. I watched Kayla. I joined her when I was in town for like the last four hours of that game. She streamed it and it all went completely over me and Kayla's heads. But then like people were explaining it afterwards and I've looked stuff up and it's like, oh, wow. That's actually like. It is an interesting game that it is very sad in that, like, I've never really. I don't really play a lot of sad games or watch sad movies or anything like that. And so that was new to me. And then like the main character kind of just sucks. And I'm used to in most games being like, I just want to be. I'm just a guy with a gun. I'm a dude who jumps on turtles. I just like, I'm not used to the idea of like the protagonist being like, oh, no, I don't like this person. I'm controlling and especially like, you know, I'm not going to spoil anything story wise. But by the end it's just like, oh, okay. Realizing everything that happened, it's like, oh, yeah, this guy sucks.
Mary Kish
So not a great dude. Yeah, I agree. I think this does kind of remind me like, Resident Evil is more my jam.
Dan Rykert
Me too.
Mary Kish
Playing someone like Chris Redfield is like, you can. I can get behind someone like that, you know?
Dan Rykert
Yeah. Jill. Or yeah, 100%.
Mary Kish
You can definitely see yourself as these like protagonists that can be flawed and even problematic or scared little, little babies. But they are doing the best they can in a crazy situation. This person is an antihero and they're also kind of a wiener. I mean, even before, I think more.
Dan Rykert
Wiener than anti hero.
Mary Kish
I agree. Before you know anything that's actually happening in the story or like what they've done, just in the gameplay, they're not very interesting. I'll Never forget, early in the original game, and I haven't come across it in the remake, I'm looking for it. But in the original game, when I played Silent Hill 2, he comes across a piano and he said his. His dead wife's name is Mary. And he says, ah, Mary used to play piano. She wasn't very good. And I remember just thinking to myself, you raggedy, that you're gonna go to this town to find your dead wife, and you see something that reminds you of her, and the first thing you do is say, well, she wasn't very good at it. But, like, yeah, this does remind me of how pissed she was at piano. Know you don't deserve her. I was originally playing it and I was like, oh, fuck you. Like, going around. And then I think right after that, he goes, I still liked hearing her play it. Which was like, his redeeming quality. But originally just saying that, like, she wasn't very good. I was like, oh, fuck off. Like, shut up. Like, you're. The entire plot. The entire plot of this game is that you're going to this town to find your dead wife because, you know, presumably you love her or whatever. You're just making fun of her. You suck.
Dan Rykert
It's not even like, his, like, weapon skills or anything. Like, he sucks at everything in that game. Like, I'm used to, like, you know, Dante, it's like, oh, I'm just slicing someone up with a sword and shooting him with, like, a million guns and doing stylish. Like, this guy is just doping around at Spooky Town in a jacket. Just being an. Like, I don't like this guy sucking.
Mary Kish
Medicine bottles and pumping them up full of meds. He ain't punching no boulders. This guy's a. Yep.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Dan Rykert
Yep.
Mary Kish
Anyway, I'm probably gonna finish it.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, it's like, it does interesting things.
Mike Mahardy
I don't like compelling.
Mary Kish
I need to. It is. It is a rite of passage for me to finish this game. I also think, for the record, I'm critiquing, like, the original concept story and characters, which I think are a little muddier. And I prefer the Resident Evil universe. This is still an extraordinarily quality remake and game that I'm very excited about. So, Yes, I will 100% finish this game. But I. Yeah, I struggle with the same things I struggled with with the original, which is just, like, unlikable people left and right. Also, like the little girl in this game who's constantly stepping on your hand or kicking your keys when you're trying to Reach for them. She sucks too. There ain't anyone redeemable in this game. Everyone sucks. Like, there's no one good. You never come across to anyone and you're like, I like them. I hope that we can save them. Everyone. Everyone sucks.
Dan Rykert
Whole town sucks.
Mary Kish
Some kind of. There has to be some kind of theme here. Yeah. Like, everybody is. Everybody is bad. Nobody is good. You are miserable. Get through it sounds.
Mike Mahardy
I, I, I do want to finish it as well. I liked what I played, but, Mary.
Dan Rykert
I think we have very similar opinions on Silent Hill. Like, respect it. Know it's a good series, but not necessarily for us.
Mary Kish
It's just not something I'm, like, looking forward to dealing with. When I see a character and I'm like, this bitch is going to P off.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
And she does every time. The girl that I. These cutscenes. The napping girl. I should know her name, but I forget. It's not Mary. It's not my wife. It's Maria. So, yes, it's very similar. Yes, it's Maria.
Mike Mahardy
And Maria looks like Mary.
Mary Kish
Every one of her lines, it's delivered like this.
Dan Rykert
That's how ladies talk. Don't you know?
Mike Mahardy
Shut the out.
Mary Kish
This podcast.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Mary Kish
Gaslight me.
Dan Rykert
Have you ever met a woman?
Mary Kish
Name a woman and name a woman. I just feel that this game could be funner.
Dan Rykert
You do that very well.
Mary Kish
I hate her.
Mike Mahardy
You do it. Really? Yeah. You for hating her. You nailed it.
Mary Kish
I'm just joking with you. God, I don't like it. I don't like being this person.
Mike Mahardy
Okay. Do you want any emails?
Mary Kish
Sure.
Mike Mahardy
Okay. As usual, you can write into firescapecast gmail.com for questions, comments, photos of Famka Janssen as Zenya on the top. Any of this stuff is fair game.
Dan Rykert
All the stars are all the stars.
Mike Mahardy
We have a couple questions tonight, and first one is from a frequent emailer, Wes. It's a short one, but it's a. It's a sweet one. Literally.
Mary Kish
We need. We need more emails as well. So send in more emails.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Dan Rykert
We've got the week where Mike was gone and I scrambled and put together emails at the last second. I grabbed like eight emails.
Mike Mahardy
Yes. I don't know which one full episode yet, so. Or any of it.
Dan Rykert
So send more. Yeah. Send more emails.
Mike Mahardy
Yep. And then. Okay, never mind. Okay. I was making sure I wasn't duplicating one. Yeah. This. Mary, want to read this first quick one from Wes from Baltimore.
Mary Kish
Yes.
Mike Mahardy
Do you have the dock up? I just.
Mary Kish
Of course I do. I always.
Mike Mahardy
I just saw the logo come pop back up.
Mary Kish
Hello. Kit Kats are significantly better frozen. Do you prefer any candy frozen? Thanks. West from Baltimore. Peeps.
Mike Mahardy
Peeps are way better for nerds. Yeah, they're already rock hard.
Dan Rykert
They had to take them out of blizzards because they just took them out of blizzards because they would just break kids teeth.
Mary Kish
Doesn't make any.
Mike Mahardy
Really.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, yeah, no, it was like bad. I mean it tasted good. I've had them. But like that's sick.
Mike Mahardy
Peeps are awesome for. Oh yeah, they get like way chewier.
Dan Rykert
You know what you think? Peeps made me think of marshmallows and Mary Bon, we were decorating the Christmas tree and stuff recently and you brought us that nice hot do chocolate from Portland and we put the big ass marshmallows in there and whipped cream on top and. Oh, I don't think I realized how much of a fan of like marshmallows and hot chocolate I could be. I've never, I barely had hot chocolate in my life and that was fantastic. Especially like cold Minnesota winter. Like hot chocolate and marshmallows. Like that is good as hell.
Mary Kish
Thank you, I appreciate that note. That's should be moonstruck. So anyone who's looking for the brand.
Mike Mahardy
Moonstruck, we watched that movie over Thanksgiving break at my parents.
Mary Kish
No, it's not based on the movie.
Mike Mahardy
No, I know, but we watched Moonstruck.
Mary Kish
This is funny.
Mike Mahardy
I forgot to mention that because I haven't seen you guys since Thanksgiving. Yeah, with Sharon, Nicholas Cage.
Dan Rykert
What do you mean?
Mike Mahardy
With Cher? What other moonstruck is there? Yeah, the third best movie made ever made effort. If you can't tell, I'm still jet lagged.
Mary Kish
Anyway, yeah, it's a very good brand of hot chocolate. And I always say this where every time someone's like, I love the hot chocolate, which people usually do when I give it to them as a gift. And I always say it's the, it's the gift that Obama usually gives people when he gives them chocolate. He gives them moonstruck chocolate. So it's good chocolate.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, the guy with one hand makes it.
Dan Rykert
Really?
Mike Mahardy
That's a moonstruck joke. Oh, oh, big guy judging me about movies I watch, talking about, I don't know, Mary, have you seen Moonstruck? Are you referring to have you seen Moonstruck?
Mary Kish
No. Nobody's seen it but you.
Mike Mahardy
And it's just an Oscar.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Did she really?
Dan Rykert
Yeah, I think she won the Oscar for that.
Mike Mahardy
Phenomenal. It won.
Mary Kish
It's just so funny.
Mike Mahardy
Like Nicholas Cage has a wooden Hand in it.
Mary Kish
If you haven't seen that movie, that's not a really funny thing to say about the chocolate.
Mike Mahardy
No, it's not. It's not a wood hand. It's like a gloved thing.
Dan Rykert
He stirs it with his wooden hand.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, it's a spoon.
Dan Rykert
Easy. Yes. No skin. It's not gross.
Mary Kish
It's not my skin. This is my wooden hand spoon.
Dan Rykert
Reese's nut rages is much better frozen.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, Reese's cups in general.
Mary Kish
Re cups and anything Reese is usually best frozen. Especially Reese piece.
Mike Mahardy
I like chewy chocolate chip cookies in the fridge after. Well, I mean, I don't eat them in the fridge. But guys, I've legitimately had zero drops of alcohol today. I am just like still on French time.
Mary Kish
In the middle of the night, I got out and shot an elephant in my pajamas. How the elephant got in my pajamas, I have no idea.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, I forgot to tell you guys. We have to. We have a visit with a cat doctor tomorrow. How that cat became a doctor is anybody's guess. Do you guys like, have you heard.
Dan Rykert
The Norm thing when he was on Conan and he was like, yeah, I went to the doctor and my cat was sick. And yeah, it turned out I had like some tumor. It was cancerous. And the doctor says I got bad news and good news. The bad news is based on what I see from this tumor, it's only got three months to live. The good news is it's just a cat.
Mike Mahardy
That'S fucked. I don't like it. I'm not laughing.
Dan Rykert
Oh, Norm said something he don't like.
Mike Mahardy
Norm's never say anything I like. Well, some more defended. People have said things I don't like.
Mary Kish
You have to be able to laugh at the darkest things amongst us. I was also just going to say girl scout. Thinman mints are so good in the freezer. This is common knowledge. I am not educating anyone on thin mints in the freezer. But I mean, I, I actually don't think I could have them. I, I really, that's the first thing I do when I buy them. I say thank you very much. I give them the money, they give me the cookies. They go right in the freezer. I don't know if I've had that. They do not exist on the counter. They go in the freezer.
Dan Rykert
That sounds awesome.
Mary Kish
Thin mints in the freezer.
Mike Mahardy
Mint in general, I think tastes better when it's cooler in most forms.
Mary Kish
York peppermint patty freezer. Like, if it's mint in chocolate, it goes in the Freezer.
Mike Mahardy
Mint ice cream is better cold.
Mary Kish
Strawberry ice cream best melted.
Dan Rykert
I crave it a little bit.
Mary Kish
Yeah, I like to scoop it with my fingers and suck it out in a movie theater.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, this is Mary with her wooden hand sucking strawberry ice cream. Her cedar fingers.
Dan Rykert
Oh, my goodness. That's my thing.
Mike Mahardy
Hear me out. Mary's. Thank you, Wes.
Dan Rykert
Do you like Snickers ice cream bars or Snickers Normal better ice cream bars? I think I do too. I mean, Snickers Normal is like the perfect candy bar, but I think Snickers ice cream is like, wow, you made this better with ice cream.
Mary Kish
It depends on the environment. I would say on a warm day, of course it would be ice cream, but if it's like the middle of winter, I would choose a regular Snickers.
Mike Mahardy
That makes sense.
Mary Kish
It's weather dependent.
Dan Rykert
Last ice cream bar I had was. It was like 100 degrees in Oklahoma. Heading to my sister's wedding this summer. And it's like looking at stuff to get in the gas stations. Oh, man. A Snickers ice cream bar, 100 degrees the middle of nowhere. Like, that is the perfect snack right there. But you're right. If it's like dead of winter, maybe standard.
Mike Mahardy
I think we probably talked about this on the. The bonus video where we ranked or tier listed candy. But I think I agree with you. The Snickers is the ideal candy bar because I love fast breaks. What's the five take? Five take fives.
Mary Kish
Fantastic.
Mike Mahardy
I love both of those. But I feel like there's diminishing returns when you just start stacking it and it removes from the, like, purity of these Snickers when there's too much going on.
Dan Rykert
It's just the ratio of everything in the Snickers is so perfect. It's. I would not change a single.
Mary Kish
I'm a Milky Way girl. I just. I just don't always want peanuts that.
Mike Mahardy
Just nougat and caramel. Three Musketeers. People who like those are psychos.
Mary Kish
Yeah, yeah.
Dan Rykert
I like Milky Way in three months. Clear. Same thing.
Mary Kish
Oh, you know what I love my go to. That was where I went. I don't think. I don't think I've ever bought a Snickers in a drugstore or anything. Like, I don't think I've ever been. I've never, like, been in a Kroger checking out and been like, I gotta get a Snickers. No. Oh, my God. Of course I've had a Snickers.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, okay.
Mary Kish
I. I eat them in, like, Halloween candy bags. Right. Like, I would get the mini Snickers and. And eat the minis and stuff like that. I've had Snickers purses purchased for me. I've never made a conscious decision to be like. As I'm checking out, be like, I will have a Snickers. It was always, like, wild.
Mike Mahardy
Never suck down a king size.
Mary Kish
Do you ever suck down a king size?
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, suck down a king size.
Mary Kish
Girl, you sound like a troll under a bridge talking to me like that.
Mike Mahardy
Let's go to the. Let's go to the bodega guy. I'll get the king size Snickers.
Mary Kish
You have a sucked on of Snickers in a tube.
Mike Mahardy
I'll let you through the tunnel if you suck down that Snickers. You got.
Dan Rykert
Don't like this character.
Mike Mahardy
Have you had. Oh, have you guys had the emperor size Snickers? In what country do they sell it in?
Dan Rykert
Do they have Emperors anymore? Anywhere? Just as people.
Mike Mahardy
I don't think they go by that.
Dan Rykert
Oh, okay. I don't.
Mary Kish
They changed. They changed the name, but the players are the same.
Mike Mahardy
I agree.
Dan Rykert
Is like, in line at a drugstore or a grocery store. That's probably my number three. I probably bought the most Starburst and then Skittles and then Snickers, I think.
Mary Kish
Are you. Are you, like, show.
Mike Mahardy
Have you adjusted to the. Your new diet without the Halloween candy? Did you. Did you confirm that's what the problem was?
Dan Rykert
Oh, yeah. What was the problem? That was happening. There was something that was like. You were.
Mike Mahardy
You were, like, having sugar withdrawals after Halloween season.
Dan Rykert
Oh, it was the weird headaches when I moved my head. Yeah, that's not happening anymore.
Mary Kish
Weird headaches when I moved my head.
Dan Rykert
Pretty redundant in any direction. It was like, ow, ow, ow, ow. Yeah, I guess that stopped happening. I haven't thought of that in a while.
Mary Kish
Yeah, good.
Dan Rykert
Didn't seem healthy. I'm just waiting. I need time to move forward so I can get on marathon training that starts in May because I feel like I'm in a dead zone between here and May where it's like, all right, I'm going to be unhealthy probably.
Mike Mahardy
Have you not. I thought you started marathon training. Training.
Dan Rykert
No. That starts in May. Marathon's in October.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, you finished the half marathon?
Dan Rykert
A couple of them. Two halves this year. And now it's like, that doesn't make one. Now I'm kind of waiting. It's. Yeah, Now I'm just kind of waiting for January. Like, all right, I'll get on, like, a daily you know, cardio thing. Just so I'm ready for training in May. But right now I'm in that weird holiday dead zone.
Mary Kish
You're allowed to have a holiday dead zone. And I encourage everybody who has like been like, hey, I should probably get on that diet or like be on that heavy exercise regular. That's what January is for. Give yourself a frickin break and enjoy the holiday season. I also struggle with this personally. And this is when I went to the Ravens Manor. One of their number one drinks is essentially eggnog. And I was like, I just want to try it. I let things go in December. Live your life.
Dan Rykert
It is striking though. I don't know if this is just a getting older thing, but like the speed in which you can go from like something like cardio, health and stuff, I think that stays, that lasts a little longer, but like the speed in which you can like put on weight. Like, you know, I went from like the lowest weight I've been in like over 10 years when I was like finishing up the marathon training to like, it's not crazy, but you know, I put on £15 probably since then and it's like, God damn, that can happen pretty quick. Like a couple months if you're like not actively working out regularly and watch what you eat specifically, like they can turn around quick.
Mary Kish
And this only gets worse every year. It does not get better. It will just, just get worse. Yeah, it will get harder. You will just more easily put on weight from now until the end of time. Yeah, unfortunately. But it's more motivation for you to stay on the treadmill or whatever it is that fuels you. But I do encourage people to give themselves a freaking break in December.
Dan Rykert
Right?
Mary Kish
Like have, yeah, have the eggnog, have the, have the extra helping of mashed potato. You know, enjoy yourself.
Dan Rykert
And with what we do and like, you know, we all live. I mean, Mike, you're closer but like, you know, we live away from our parents. So it's like typically we have a trip home for Thanksgiving and then it's like, okay, there's a lot of eating like shit there. And then frequently we're going to the game awards and doing stuff like that in early December and then you get back, you have maybe a week and then you go back for Christmas and then you got New Year's parties and stuff. So like December, like for me is always fucked. Like it's almost like impossible to stay on a good thing in December. So like January, like I've never been the big like New Year's Resolutions always felt so arbitrary, but sometimes it just works out schedule wise where it's like, all right, that's when I actually will have time to, like, be on a regular schedule. But I. I envy people like, you know, like, Bonk. She travels all the time. You know, she's busy too. And like, she is just so. Just like, I'm gonna get this done. Like, that is a top priority. Is like being healthy, both eating and working out. And like, I look at her and it's like, all right, I don't have an excuse. Like, it can be done. Like, I'm just giving myself excuses. So.
Mary Kish
Yeah, I appreciate the dedication. Just don't forget to enjoy your Christmas.
Dan Rykert
Yes. Yes.
Mike Mahardy
Thank you, Wes. Dan, do you want to read this one from Morgan?
Dan Rykert
Yes. Hi, Fire escape cast. Do you guys have any blanket statements, Something that you think is true across the board with no exceptions? Some example of. Some examples of mine. If there is a dog or a cat in a game that is not an enemy and you can't interact or pet it, that game is trash. Or nachos without cheese. Isn't nachos. I do agree with that. My husband would say any movie over an hour and a half is too long. These can be about any topic. Thoughts. Long time listener to the cast and your other content platforms, Morgan. Thank you, Morgan. Blanket statements with no exceptions. They specifically said there I had one.
Mike Mahardy
Before I had to kind of make an exception to my. If you. If a game, for instance, takes three hours to get good.
Dan Rykert
Yep.
Mike Mahardy
Then it's not a good game. Metaphor kind of metaphor is different because it was still decent in the first two hours. But like, I still believe, like, if a game takes. Takes, let's say three hours to get good. I don't care how long it is. It might not be a good game.
Dan Rykert
Anytime people say, like, oh, yeah, give it like five hours. And it's like, yeah, I normally would say that as a blanket statement. But like this year, Infinite wealth, like, that takes a while to get moving and then it gets really good. And so I think there are exceptions for that one.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, there are slow burns and I can. I'm all for that, but it's like when something is actively pushing back against my enjoyment for five hours.
Dan Rykert
Sure.
Mike Mahardy
Infinite wealth was bearable for a bit.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. It was so funny and interesting and everything, but, like, it doesn't open up for a while.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. What other blankets stay? I definitely have a bunch.
Mary Kish
I'm sure one that's similar to the writer's husband. My blanket for movies is a Bit more lenient than that, but it is. No movie needs to be three hours, period. If it's three hours, it could have been just as good. And it could have been 2 hours and 55 minutes. 3 hours is my cutoff. Every time I've ever seen a movie, that's three hours, even good ones, I've been like, you could have. You could have edited.
Mike Mahardy
You could have cut something from the.
Mary Kish
You could have. You could have cut something. 1,000%. There's no movie on earth that needs to be three hours. That's how I feel.
Dan Rykert
Pretty extreme. But, like, I feel like good ones, right?
Mary Kish
Prove it.
Dan Rykert
I'm looking at a list right now.
Mary Kish
Name it.
Dan Rykert
Lord of the Rings. Return of the King sucks. Green Monster is good. God Wolf is good. Deer Hunter is great. Titanic is good.
Mary Kish
This isn't. This is a different argument, though.
Mike Mahardy
I'm not saying they're not good.
Mary Kish
That's not what I'm saying.
Dan Rykert
Okay.
Mary Kish
I'm saying Return of the King needed to be. But you could have cut five minutes is what I'm saying.
Dan Rykert
Oh, I don't have Westwood.
Mary Kish
You saying that a movie only helps me. I. I'm still saying they could be good if you just cut five minutes from them.
Dan Rykert
Sure. Like, it's been a while since I saw Titanic. I'm sure you could cut time from that, right?
Mary Kish
A hundred percent. She doesn't need to.
Mike Mahardy
Look the ending art book. You don't need the ending.
Mary Kish
Five minutes. You don't need that long. On the. On the wood panel, 100. You could.
Mike Mahardy
Once the ship goes down. I. You don't need.
Mary Kish
Once the guy hits the propeller.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, that is the highlighter for sure.
Mike Mahardy
The. What other. The Irishman was.
Dan Rykert
Pearl harbor was.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, yeah. I didn't like that.
Mary Kish
It just didn't need it. And I feel very strongly about this. Every time a movie has a runtime of three hours in cinema, like in a movie theater, I'm always like, you are. You are really pushing it with me. That editor could have just put in a little bit more juice and cut out one more goddamn scene. That is a long time for a person to sit and pay attention. Less than three hours. Every movie, forever.
Mike Mahardy
It's always Scorsese now, too. Killers the Flower Moon.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, I saw that in the theaters. I never sleep in theaters. And, like, I was, like, nodding off. And Killers Flower Moon.
Mike Mahardy
We started at 10pm and then by the time I got to hour two and I liked that movie quite a bit, I was nodding off.
Mary Kish
And there's a lot of movies I'M not saying they're not good. They can be phenomenal movies. I'm just saying they could have cut out one scene or just trimmed it it and made it less than three hours. Three hours is ridiculous. It is a ridiculous length for one piece of cinema. Fucking come on.
Dan Rykert
Like it says, Oppenheimer's over three hours.
Mary Kish
Oppenheimer could have easily been under three hours. That movie is God tier and it is too long.
Dan Rykert
Pretty long.
Mary Kish
Did you do the ending where, like, they're like, walking towards each other in the grass and it just keeps panning back and forth between them?
Mike Mahardy
Like, let's go from Monty Python.
Mary Kish
Yes.
Mike Mahardy
If that would be a really weird choice if they did that with Oppenheimer.
Dan Rykert
If McGruber was three hours, I'd be into it.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. No, well, the show. What?
Mary Kish
The show was basically the opposite of my argument. You shouldn't be taking movies and making them three hours. No movie needs to be three hours.
Dan Rykert
More is better, right?
Mike Mahardy
Good job.
Mary Kish
No, it's not. That's literally what I'm saying. I'm literally saying the opposite of more is better.
Mike Mahardy
Food, culinary, drink, beverage. Blanket statements that you guys have.
Dan Rykert
Oh, I mean, there's like.
Mike Mahardy
Well, there's regional stuff. Like Chicago. If you have. If you put ketchup or mustard on the hot dog or if you put. Yeah, ketchup or mustard on a hot dog. It's not a hot dog. Or is it just ketchup?
Mary Kish
I don't know. Neither of those are accurate, though. Those are just hot dog accoutrements. Like, you can't. You can't do that. You can't make that rule.
Mike Mahardy
You can't make that rule.
Mary Kish
Can't make that rule.
Mike Mahardy
I'm saying people from Chicago don't like it on there, but, yeah, it's still a hot dog. I don't think they'd argue it's not a hot dog.
Mary Kish
Cuisine.
Dan Rykert
I mean, I feel like there's things like, oh, all things with olives are bad. But that's just me saying I don't like olives.
Mary Kish
That's just you, you weirdo.
Dan Rykert
What a blanket statement is, Right? Just like.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Dan Rykert
I do agree with the one here that they said in the email, nachos without cheese isn't nachos. Like, 100%. Like, cheese is more important than cheese for me.
Mary Kish
Yeah, you have to have melted cheese on nachos.
Dan Rykert
What? Mike?
Mike Mahardy
I just. I just. I just started thinking of some really funny ones that I've probably said. Like, anybody who has played Mass Effect six times is. I don't like them.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, I've met some of those types and that kind of holds up.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, that unlocked a bunch that I probably actually said in my life.
Dan Rykert
I don't think I'd trust any, like. Huge fan of 30 Seconds to Mars.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah.
Mary Kish
That was me turning this question into bullying people.
Mike Mahardy
I'm not saying they're bad people. I'm saying I. They're not for me. Yeah, I don't. I don't trust people who've played Mass Effect six times. I should say you have to earn my trust. If you tell me you played Mass Effect six times through.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
In game design, one of my blanket rules is if you're using wheelchairs to make an environment scary that's like so boring and lazy.
Dan Rykert
Oh, like one, like wheeling out, like.
Mary Kish
Oh, yeah. I just hate it. There's like so many other scary things that you could do in an environment than like a wheelchair, which is just a very normal thing that people need. And I just don't get it. And so every time I see it, I'm always like, oh, the person who designed this space is either not very experienced or they're just not very worldly or thoughtful when it comes to how to scare people. Like be like, think outside the box a little bit than just like a freaking wheelchair. I don't like that kind of stuff. Usually when I see it in a space.
Dan Rykert
I don't think it'd be possible for me to enjoy any visual novel. I don't know if that's a blanket statement, but just visual novels are bad for me. Would be also most novels I was waiting for.
Mike Mahardy
Maybe I just like reading it. Just like City of Thieves, it takes.
Dan Rykert
So long to read. I mean, I'm a fast reader. Books have so many fucking words, though.
Mary Kish
Watch my face when you said it's. It's probably no visual novelist for me really. And we were all like. I think me and Mike were both like visual or.
Dan Rykert
Listen, I like reading. I've been reading this fucking Stephen King short story collection for like a year because Vinnie recommended it to me. I've read four of the short stories and liked them all a lot. But it takes. There's so many fucking words in books. It takes so long.
Mike Mahardy
It's a. Yeah, they're big collections of words.
Mary Kish
Three hour movie in book form. Like, when are you like. I'm not reading all that.
Dan Rykert
I mean, I've read some really long books before and I've enjoyed them. Them. It's just. It's like when it's not part of your day in your routine. It's like, it's that habit thing where it's just like if I just got into the habit of like okay with my coffee every morning I'm going to, you know, read while I drink my coffee, then I'd read so much, I think because I really have enjoyed whenever I get into a book. But it's just not part of my day. You know what I mean?
Mary Kish
It's become, I've started to try and make a habit out of my weekend. I've started enjoying a slow morning where I wake up, I have a coffee and like maybe, maybe a, you know, whatever little breakfast snacky I have and I read a chapter of a book. I've been doing that on my Saturday and, or my Sunday and I've really enjoyed that experience but it's very difficult for me. I know a lot of people who. I have a friend who reads in the shower. Every time they shower they read.
Dan Rykert
Paper's got to get soggy.
Mary Kish
It's, it's a, it's laminated just like all of Mike's books, you know. Yeah, it's, it's a Kindle.
Mike Mahardy
Can't get them sticky.
Mary Kish
The pages are always stuck together.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. I have to laminate my phone for the same reason to laminate our bed.
Mary Kish
You slip over it.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Dan Rykert
I'm so trying to like and if there's any tips here, I would love them because like I would love to get into the habit of working out every morning and doing a slow morning where it's, whether it's reading or breakfast without a phone, things like that. But like from the moment I wake up, like my alarm goes up at 7:30. I just know there's already like eight unread slacks, discords, emails, things like that. And it's like stuff I have to get to. And then like as the day goes on and people actually start waking up, like if it's 9am and I'm on a treadmill or something, I just know that it's piling up and by the time I get off the treadmill I'm going to have like 30 things I have to like look at or respond to or something. So it's like how do you. Because I'm like, I see people like their phones and stuff. Like I had a lot of friends. It's like I have 30,000 unread emails and I have like a thousand notifications for text. Like that's insane to me. I, if I see a notification, I cannot not Address it right away, you know, like, is there. Do you guys have that?
Mary Kish
I struggle with that. I mean, I don't think there's a really solid answer for it besides practice, in my opinion. I don't think that's a very sexy answer. But I think my answer is like, like you have to have the self control. Because what you're talking about in my opinion is addiction. You have an addiction to not having any notifications. Do you clear your inbox at the end of the day?
Dan Rykert
I don't. I. The second an email comes in, I address it pretty much.
Mary Kish
Yeah. I mean, that's kind of an addictive personality situation or like neurotic. Right? Like where I ain't going to diagnose you. But the idea that you can't handle like notifications not red, that can be a symptom of someone who's like, imperfect muscle ends and, and that is habitual. Where you should really practice being okay with unread things because the world goes on and it's also very important for them to be able to wait for your response. Like it's healthy for you to be able to. That's probably why you don't ever cook broccoli and stuff like that.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, well, that's, that's the thing is like, it's not. Because I don't think I'm like necessarily addicted to like, you know, the tech part of it or the notific. I feel guilt over like if a friend, even something that's like not work related or not actually important, like a friend is like, oh, did you see Raw last night or something? You see the New day segment from Raw? Like, if I see that red notification there, it's just like, oh God, they sent me this thing and I'm like being a bad friend, I need to respond. And if I just go about my day and do the things I need to do and so that's the thing. I'll like pull out my phone and be like, oh, I need to do this thing. And then I'll see all these things pop up and I'll like totally forget why I pulled my phone out in the first place, you know?
Mary Kish
Yeah, yeah, that's hard. That's a very difficult habit to fight. And I also think, like, I, I've also struggled with that. I can do the opposite now where someone will message me and I'll see a DM and I'll be like, that's so sweet. But then I will forget to respond. And then like three months will go by and I'll be like, I never responded to that person because I, like, didn't think about it at the time. And then I harbor this guilt that I've never responded to that person. But I. I don't. Mike. Maybe you have something better for that. But my honest response response is that you should get into a daily habit of letting yourself see it and then say, I'm going to make myself a coffee or I'm going to go have lunch or go for a walk, and I'm going to let it go. And then acknowledge over time that, like, nothing dies. We don't save lives here. Like, the world goes on.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. Anything truly important, you'll get a call if it's an emergency that you need to address right away. I mean, I stopped like. Like, I'm on. I think Instagram's the only social media I ever use. Uh, it's just like, it. I think it is a matter of just, like, cleansing what's really not important to you. I. I've been in a much better place the last several years after, you know, having. Yeah. Also needing to clear my inbox and my input. My work inbox is pretty clean, but I also don't get nearly as many emails now as I did at, like, Polygon, for instance, which is nice, but it's still. I think the people that I truly care about would not be offended if I take a bit to get back to them. The people who would get offended. I. I don't think I have many people like that left in my close circle, which is nice.
Dan Rykert
Well, I'll feel guilt with, like, PR people I've never even met in person where it's just like, I'll get a work email where it's like, hey, we're really excited we're announcing this game. We got a code for this. Would you be interested in checking the, like, somebody I've never met with a game I'm not interested in? I feel guilty if it's like, I don't, like, respond or if I just kind of ghost or whatever. It's like, ah, but like, I think that's a. That's a media thing. Like, we get so many fucking press releases and emails and stuff. People are trying to promote their games and it's like, you have to kind of just ignore some of them.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, you do. I would also say, like, I don't think there's any reason to feel guilty. I think, if anything, that's you putting a bit too much importance on yourself. And I don't mean that in a mean way. I'm just saying, like, I don't think they're like stewing. Oh no, Riker hasn't gotten back to me.
Dan Rykert
No, they've sent out a hundred plus emails. I'm sure, you know, blanket email.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, I think it's more. It was more for me just like lately at least now it's like, you know, I take most morning. I play video games most in the mornings now, these days over coffee. And then at night I read and study for classes and whatnot. But like, yeah, I let my Instagram DMS pile up now and I don't care. Like I said, like, I'll go through and see if any of them are ones I truly need to respond to. I used to like it. I have a bunch, like several close friends that send me dumb videos and I. It becomes a to do list of mine to watch all them just so I can respond. It's like, I don't. Again, if they were truly important, it would have been a text or like, they would say, like, please watch this. Like, if they're just sending me them, I don't need to watch all those.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, I sent reminders. If I see like someone sends me a YouTube link, I'm just like, remind me, respond to this person later on when I can actually watch this video. It is like adding to your to do list, which is, again, these are not real problems, but it's just.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. I think it's thinking of it. I found it helpful to. It took some discipline and practice, but getting away from thinking of it as to do lists and actually like separating things. I need shit. I need to do stuff that's like, I don't really care that I missed this one skit from that same Instagram channel that my friend always said sends me. I don't even like them to begin with. Not the friend that this like.
Dan Rykert
I thought you would like that Macho man at the Eiffel Tower video.
Mike Mahardy
I responded. I took a while to respond to that because I was in France and I was busy and I was like this. Dan won't be pissed if I don't respond, right?
Mary Kish
Not necessary to respond, brother.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, I'm getting there. I'll have a good macho man. Is that him? Was that him?
Dan Rykert
Watch your man. Watch your Manny Savage.
Mary Kish
I got another one. Dog people are just cooler than cat people.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, I have one. Dog people are more emotionally needy than cat people.
Dan Rykert
No, I think we appreciate a pet that actually gives us some joy and love. And isn't Just being an asshole. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
You know, my cats give us joy and love.
Dan Rykert
Just walk around, they'll occasionally look at, at you.
Mary Kish
Yeah, they just keep putting their buttholes in the camera when we're trying.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, Razer just humps boxes of toys.
Dan Rykert
Look, Razor's nuts.
Mary Kish
But you can't say we're not talking about Razor. We're comparing cats to dogs. Razer isn't involved. Don't bring them up.
Dan Rykert
Try to say a single bad word about Gizmo. I dare you.
Mike Mahardy
Gizmo's not that great a freak show.
Dan Rykert
Look, look. Bach and I would both admit Fraser's insane.
Mike Mahardy
But I like Razor more.
Mary Kish
Floor licking, toy humping.
Mike Mahardy
I'm a Nader guy. I, I, I'm all for the outsider actually. I don't know. Is Ralph Nader known for bad things these days?
Dan Rykert
I don't even. Is he alive? I don't know.
Mike Mahardy
Is he? I don't know. Maybe I should make political jokes.
Dan Rykert
Razor is like, we have the most fucked fucker category. Like Razor is just a, of a dog.
Mary Kish
I agree.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, he's so, he's, he's the man. I like him more than Gizmo. Tell Gizmo I said that.
Dan Rykert
I will not.
Mike Mahardy
I don't think I have any other blanket statements. Quilts are nice though.
Dan Rykert
I think.
Mike Mahardy
Come on.
Dan Rykert
I mean, come on, you're going to.
Mike Mahardy
Deserve a bit more.
Dan Rykert
I'm not anti quilt.
Mike Mahardy
Come on, what's a quilt?
Dan Rykert
I feel like I was raised hearing a lot of blanket statements and I think that's maybe why I don't have any, is because as I got older I was like annoyed by like, you know, my dad being like, wine is for high maintenance women. And it's like, I don't like that. So I think as I've actively tried to, you know, evolve as a person, it's like maybe blanket statements aren't something that I subscribe to.
Mike Mahardy
Feel like if we combed through Fire Escape, we'd probably hear you making many blanket statements. That's my assumption. That's a blanket statement I'm making by saying that. But probably maybe not.
Mary Kish
I think it's embedded into your subconscious.
Mike Mahardy
I don't even know if it's subconscious. I think it's just conscious.
Dan Rykert
Just a lot of trying to conscious trying a lot of scraping them out. And you know, I go to therapy every week. You know, we're, we're working on all that for decades.
Mary Kish
Blanket statement. If you're bothered by your neighbors, it's best to throw the whole damn house away.
Dan Rykert
Sell Your house? Yes, absolutely.
Mary Kish
Start anew. Get rid of your life as I have another one.
Mike Mahardy
Anybody who's played Persona 5 more than four times fucking sucks. This is one specific person I'm talking about.
Dan Rykert
I mean, you're probably right.
Mike Mahardy
Fuck him. This is just a bit. You should probably.
Mary Kish
Have to keep it.
Mike Mahardy
This sounds like a stupid. It's really funny. Thank you.
Dan Rykert
San Francisco sucks as a city.
Mary Kish
Oh, my God. I could not say that. No.
Mike Mahardy
I had a great time Francisco.
Mary Kish
I had fantastic experience in San Francisco.
Dan Rykert
I mean, we all met in San Francisco when we worked there.
Mary Kish
But San Francisco changed my life.
Mike Mahardy
I mean, San Francisco and New York are not even in the same.
Mary Kish
San Francisco changed my life. I do think it's gone through some ebbs and flows, but I think all cities can go through ebbs and flows. I think it's unfair to just essentially say, like, a city is like a dirt bag city.
Mike Mahardy
That's a blanket statement.
Dan Rykert
I mean, there's good people and I had good. Like you. They're gonna be good people and they're good experiences. I had great experiences. And I mean, I met you guys have worked a job. I loved all that stuff. But, like, what was the state that San Francisco sucks ass. It is. It is the worst city I've ever been to.
Mary Kish
Oh, it's so pretty.
Mike Mahardy
There's worse long term or short term.
Mary Kish
To live in, I think, that I've.
Dan Rykert
Ever stood on the ground in. I think San Francisco is the worst.
Mary Kish
You've been all over the world, Someone who's as traveled as you.
Dan Rykert
There's no city. I've been like, man, I fucking hate this place more than San Francisco.
Mike Mahardy
I. Here, Here's a question. Do you truly think you put in the work to explore San Francisco past, like, the neighborhood you lived in where you worked?
Dan Rykert
Yeah, yeah. No, I went out with friends all the time there. I would go out like through the Mission and, you know, all these, you know, the north was North Cove or North beach or the. You know. Absolutely. I'm very social going out. I want to see the city. And that's part of the thing is, like, I'd want go like, all right, tonight I'm going to go downtown and I'm going to, like, you know, check out the restaurants there and stuff.
Mary Kish
It's like, the restaurants are so good there.
Dan Rykert
I mean, for a city that big, there should be better options. It's not. There's everything shuts down.
Mary Kish
Not enough cheese for you in cheese.
Dan Rykert
In San Francisco nine. It's like, that's not true. It's not.
Mike Mahardy
The public transportation sucks like well, yes, that.
Mary Kish
That's just America.
Dan Rykert
No, New York. New York, public transportation was great.
Mike Mahardy
That I agree with about San Francisco. But the food, it's got some of the like it's world renowned restaurants.
Dan Rykert
Any fucking city you go to, there's going to be like really good restaurants. And that holds true for San Francisco. I've been to a bunch with you guys.
Mike Mahardy
How.
Mary Kish
How much of Kentucky have you traveled to?
Dan Rykert
The Jack Daniels Distillery.
Mike Mahardy
Is that in Louisville or no?
Dan Rykert
I think so. Yeah, I drove.
Mary Kish
It's around there. And you know those restaurants aren't fucking crazy. Except for like the fried chicken options. I have lived a majority of my life in Ohio and there are cities in that space that suck ass. And the idea that you would compare them to San Francisco and say San Francisco is the worst. You are not as well traveled as you say you are, sir.
Dan Rykert
No, I just know what I like and what I don't like.
Mary Kish
You go to bumfuck Ohio and you tell me that that place is so much better than San Francisco.
Dan Rykert
If you told me I had to move tomorrow to Ohio, Kentucky or San Francisco last on the list would a thousand percent be San Francisco. Like I would go to a random ass city in Ohio or Kentucky 10 times out of 10.
Mary Kish
Unbelievable.
Dan Rykert
Oh wow. I didn't know we were so pro San Francisco here.
Mary Kish
No, I want to pick you up and drive you to Cincinnati and put you in some brick and have you.
Dan Rykert
Yes, I like the Midwest.
Mary Kish
You.
Dan Rykert
I live in the Midwest. I was. I grew up in the Midwest.
Mary Kish
I know you look at the teat of Midwest and I don't think that you actually know what culture is. That is just so.
Dan Rykert
I tried hard in San Francisco. I went to so many restaurants, so.
Mary Kish
Many bars, so many. You tried like Fantasio hard to enjoy San Francisco.
Dan Rykert
I don't even know that. Two and a half years I fucking tried. There are very nice things. I have great memories. Going down to Ocean Beach. I go into the. What's the pizza? Tony's Pizza or whatever. Went there a bunch with Mike and Tim and friends and stuff. There are, there are great things there. But on the whole garbage town I can.
Mike Mahardy
I absolutely see how San Francisco like doesn't vibe with you, of course. But I don't think it's. It's. It's not in the. A great place now. It's worse than when I was there.
Mary Kish
But it's you.
Dan Rykert
You go.
Mary Kish
The eat pine cones. No, they say that you're living life.
Dan Rykert
No, I, I've been To I think every major American city.
Mike Mahardy
That's the worst one. Mary, just say something bad about Minneapolis and make watch him flip.
Dan Rykert
One bridge.
Mary Kish
Having one bridge.
Dan Rykert
We have numerous bridges. We got hen. We got stone earth. We got Central Avenue. We.
Mary Kish
Nobody cares.
Dan Rykert
That's all. We miss it out.
Mike Mahardy
We have a bunch of wakes and we can canoe and walk around and.
Mary Kish
Those we put cheese inside this canoe. In all my life I have a.
Dan Rykert
Paddle board and a kayak walk and have a great time on the lake. I couldn't do it this summer because I had sinus surgery. I would have been out there a lot.
Mary Kish
More like a stone at this point.
Dan Rykert
Good swimmer.
Mike Mahardy
I. If I had to choose between SF and Minneapolis at this point in my life, I would would probably pick Minneapolis.
Mary Kish
Name three types of trees, Dan.
Dan Rykert
Pine, elm, conifer.
Mike Mahardy
You mispronounced it. And also that's more of like a group of trees.
Dan Rykert
Pine, elm and weeping willow.
Mike Mahardy
Nice.
Mary Kish
Deciduous.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
And leafy green, barren brown stem trunks.
Dan Rykert
I'm not saying I'm Bear Grylls. I just like living in a place that's got n.
Mary Kish
You're never in it. You're going to Wrestlemania bars.
Dan Rykert
Look out this window and see a billion trees. There's a pond.
Mary Kish
Woke up at 2pm because you got drunk as a poor last night.
Mike Mahardy
Where coming from? Why?
Mary Kish
I just want blood now.
Dan Rykert
I was wrestling with my friends last night. It was a good time at the.
Mary Kish
National Guard armory city to live. Live in. You can only do that there.
Mike Mahardy
They don't. They don't broadcast wrestling to any other American city.
Dan Rykert
No, I saw it live at a National Guard armory.
Mike Mahardy
What's a national. Oh, Aiden. Armory for the National Guard.
Dan Rykert
That's correct. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Where there's guns all over the place. No, just wrestling and like cannons next to the ring.
Dan Rykert
No, no, not anymore.
Mike Mahardy
I almost just said rink. Yeah, that's the hockey ring.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Wrestling rink.
Dan Rykert
Mm.
Mike Mahardy
Well, thank you, Morgan, for the harmony your question brought to the podcast. That's our show. Episode 96, I think. Yeah, it's episode 96. It's fun.
Dan Rykert
Sounds right.
Mike Mahardy
It's been four weeks since I last spoke to you. Well, I mean recorded.
Dan Rykert
Right.
Mary Kish
Talked to you too much, I have to say. Usually when we do this, we like get started and do the podcast right away. But when we started this call, we actually like chit chatted for almost 40 minutes. And I think we did that before we actually started the podcast because sometimes you're just like, oh man, what do you been up to? Like what's up, bud? And then you're like, fuck, we have to do the podcast. And so we, like, actually start recording.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
That is such a sign that we've missed each other is that we, like, can't wait to just catch up and like, hot goss. I mean, you just got to have it. It's just so nice to do well before recording.
Dan Rykert
It's all this shit that we will not be able to ramble about on the podcast.
Mary Kish
Who do you hate? Who's on your death note?
Dan Rykert
That's it.
Mike Mahardy
Time that one of us makes a joke joke about somebody Anonymous. And the other two laugh really hard. It's because we were talking about them by name before we started recording. Yeah.
Dan Rykert
We should do like a 300 tier on the Patreon where they just get the whole thing.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. But you can't. It like, it burns. It's like a burn after reading thing. You can only listen to it for.
Mary Kish
No, I'll get canceled.
Dan Rykert
I know people can cancel. I think just people might find out what we think of them.
Mike Mahardy
Most people know what I think of them.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, we're not really, like, shy about that. I don't think there'd be a lot of surprises, frankly.
Mike Mahardy
No, that'd be. Yeah. I mean, if, like, certain people paid for that tier now, they would probably. No, I really don't.
Mary Kish
I like that. I like doing that on. On Twitch as well. I have, like, there's lots of modes that you can do where if you want to comment in someone's chat, you have to follow them for six months.
Dan Rykert
Yeah.
Mary Kish
And I like that because that's my way of being like, if you're such a piece of shit that you want to comment something nasty in my chat, you have to follow me and subscribe. Give me money for six months. And if you do that, you can tell me you don't like me.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. You got to be in for the long game if you want to see that.
Mary Kish
You got to be really. It's a really committed hater to come for me.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. And then by the time that happens, like, all right, you burn this.
Mary Kish
Go for it, bud. You tell me. You tell me you're mad at me. I'm listening.
Dan Rykert
I feel like all three of us are bad at hiding if we don't like someone. So it's like, I feel like with any of us, if our listeners have seen us on content or on podcast with and we're friendly with them, we're probably cool with them because it's probably super obvious. If.
Mary Kish
We all have different vibes to dislike though, as well. Like, I think we have different levels of how we react and stuff like that. We all have different volatility.
Dan Rykert
Yeah. I feel like when it's someone that I just don't want to deal with, it's just like, I just don't want to. It's. I'm not going to pick a fight. I'm not going to, like, you know, confront them at a thing. I'm just going to, like. I'm just not going to think about you or talk to you, you know, not going to go out of my way or. You guys are the fighters of the group.
Mike Mahardy
I. I can be confrontational for sure. I don't. I'm not a physical anymore.
Mary Kish
Oh, I remember there was a time in my life where if Mike was upset with someone at a bar, we were like, we gotta get him out of here because he's gonna beat the out of this. Get him out of here.
Dan Rykert
Some headlines in Paris last week. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
I whipped a. Whipped someone's ass with a baguette.
Dan Rykert
Dead rising. And then.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. And. And poured chat noof to pop all over their twitching, dead body. What? You've never. Neither of you have ever seen me in an altercation? I don't think.
Dan Rykert
No.
Mary Kish
Well, I think we pull you out usually, but either Mary.
Dan Rykert
We usually with an arm each. And then you're kicking. You're like, oh, if I can't punch, then I'll kick these motherfuckers. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
You're going to let Mary say this.
Dan Rykert
Mary's right. Mary's right.
Mike Mahardy
Picks fights with every Jersey mom who tries getting into a woman's bathroom.
Mary Kish
Listen, that was a very unique situation where I was. I was offended how she wouldn't apologize. I think I was. I was more upset about the idea that I was like, hey, you can't just come into someone's bathroom. And she was like, oh, I can't just come into the bathroom. And was like, trying to fight me. And I was like, okay, now I do have to fight her.
Mike Mahardy
No, I had to pick you up and just move you.
Mary Kish
I actually cardboard cutout on Saturday, so.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, my God. Why? What happened on Saturday? Can you talk about it on.
Mary Kish
Yes, I can. So you know how, like, usually we actually just talked about this on. On Saturdays and Sundays, I like to go to a coffee shop and have a little coffee and maybe have a little snick snack. And I read my book. And I have gotten really accustomed to doing this. This is a tradition now on weekends. And yesterday I went to a little coffee shop and I got my little coffee and my little snick snack. And I sat outside, and a woman sat right next to me, me and lit a cigarette and started blowing smoke in my face. And I was like, hey, can't you just move down? And she was like, I'm allowed to have a cigarette. And I was like, actually, you're not, because this is a food establishment. You're actually not allowed to have a cigarette. Literally, as I'm eating my coffee cake, you're not allowed to have a cigarette here. And she was like, well, I'm not going anywhere. And I was like, you pulled out.
Mike Mahardy
A bigger cigarette and then started blowing that in her face.
Mary Kish
So irritating. She also, like, asked me for a light. As she was smoking before this, she asked me for light, and I was like, no, I'm not gonna help you light your cigarette. I'm eating. And so, like, that was a fighting situation where, like, I.
Mike Mahardy
How did it resolve itself?
Mary Kish
I was pulled away.
Mike Mahardy
You killed her?
Mary Kish
Yeah, she's dead now. She's buried. She's with United Medical CEO.
Mike Mahardy
Someone pulled you away. Had to pull you away from this.
Mary Kish
I mean, listen, I wasn't going to actually throw hands, but I was told to move on and let it go. But I was upset about it because you shouldn't smoke near food establishments and fuck her. And I don't like. I think what. What enraged me about that situation was I started it as, hey, can you smoke somewhere else? And her response was, I'm allowed to smoke anywhere I want, want. And that's not true. And it's rude. And that's kind of what triggered me. It's the same thing with the bathroom lady, which was. I was like, that was a pretty rude situation.
Mike Mahardy
But anyway, followed by not apologizing for it.
Dan Rykert
The.
Mary Kish
The audacity of that woman coming to me and being like, oh, I can't just go into the bathroom. You got a problem with me going into your bathroom? I was like, yeah, I have a problem with that. And that was exactly how I reacted yesterday, which was like, oh, you mean I can't just smoke anywhere I want? Oh, I can't.
Mike Mahardy
You argue with that guy at the airport, too.
Mary Kish
Oh, that was a big one. That was. That's different. That was a. I was on the phone. I was on a call, a work call at a restaurant at the airport. And when I got off the work call, the guy was like, oh, are you finally done with your work call so I can enjoy my meal? And I was like, you are at an airport have. Trying to have lobster bisque. I don't give a fuck about your airport food experience. And everybody is on the phone at an airport. You think I give a shit that you had a really good quality meal? I'm getting mad just thinking about it. But the fact that that guy brought it up, thought, Thought that he was so righteous that I couldn't be on a work call while I was having a meal. And I was like, you can maybe say, like I could have been quieter on that call, but the idea that I like, couldn't be on a call in a fucking airport. Go to a Denny's if you want to have a perfect dining experience.
Dan Rykert
Denny's is perfect.
Mary Kish
Yes.
Dan Rykert
What?
Mary Kish
Don't go to an airport and try and have a fancy meal and tell me that it's too loud.
Dan Rykert
Go to Denny's.
Mary Kish
I'm probably am the most of us that's probably going to fight someone now, but back in the day, it's like eight years ago. Mike was. Eight years ago, Mikey was fighting Mikey.
Mike Mahardy
You've never. That never happened though. I've seen in front of you. No, you haven't.
Dan Rykert
I've seen it a lot.
Mike Mahardy
When did you see it?
Dan Rykert
Oh, God, we don't have enough time. Time.
Mike Mahardy
No, no, you didn't.
Mary Kish
I have. I have seen you try and fight people, Mike.
Dan Rykert
When? Waiters, bartenders, random people at bars.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, I don't think that's people on the bot court.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, you do.
Mary Kish
You stare at them with your drink.
Mike Mahardy
And you look at them and you.
Mary Kish
Wait to see if you can fight them. And the most recent, you'll say something under your breath just to get them to try and fight you. And it happened at a Game Awards two years ago. God.
Mike Mahardy
At a Game Awards?
Mary Kish
Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
What?
Mary Kish
You were drinking at a game?
Dan Rykert
Yeah. Mike, I think you're always blacked out when this happens, but we see it all the time.
Mike Mahardy
Wait, wait. At the game. Did I really do something like that at the Game Awards?
Dan Rykert
Yeah, you rushed the stage and started talking about Bill Clinton.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah.
Mary Kish
A lot of people don't know that was you.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, it was you. It was like. Yeah, the resolution wasn't great.
Mike Mahardy
What did I. Who was. I mean, mugging at the Game Awards, so.
Mary Kish
Okay, sorry, I'm mixing up stories. You definitely were spicy at the Game Awards once. But the one I remember is when you said, I don't like your hat.
Mike Mahardy
Oh, that. You weren't there for that, though.
Mary Kish
I maybe was there.
Mike Mahardy
No, that was in Hoken. Yeah, that was. Yeah, that. I'm proud of that one. That was a funny line to start a Fight. I hate your hat.
Dan Rykert
How would you feel if you guys like came here for a game awards and we went to a bar and I just beat a bunch of people's asses at the bar? How would you be?
Mary Kish
I couldn't imagine. You're the sweetest person. I think you're the person to get beat up. Between the three of us somehow have not ever. I think if anyone was to get beat up, it would be you. If anyone would get punched just for running their mouth, it's probably me. And if anyone were to get into a full on boxing match, it's Mike.
Dan Rykert
Sure. Yeah, it's fair.
Mike Mahardy
I have. Well, it was a boxing match.
Dan Rykert
I wish we had like the influencer boxing stuff that they have. Like, we're not big enough names to like do that.
Mike Mahardy
No, I'm too. I'm. I've got an actual history in boxing. I'm really. I'd be afraid I'd actually hurt people. I'm a big deal back, you know, Like, I. I would really just. I would really upset people by how much I beat the shit out of the other people.
Dan Rykert
Like, I can name 10 people right now. That would be amazing to just set you up against in a boxing match based on.
Mike Mahardy
I can name 10 people I would like to punch in a legal setting.
Dan Rykert
I don't have a lot of people I hate. I feel like, Mike, you've got like a C Shimmy Billy Madison list of people you want to kick the shit out of.
Mike Mahardy
There is like, life is too short to be an asshole. It's not that hard to not be an asshole.
Dan Rykert
Right? Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Don't piss me off by being an asshole. And I won't put you on this list. I have. I have two lists. One is just the name. Famke Janssen. 15 times in a row. What's on the title of that list in parentheses? It's just the different movies.
Dan Rykert
Deep Rising, House on Haunted hill, x.
Mike Mahardy
Men 1, x Men 2.
Mary Kish
This page is so sticky.
Mike Mahardy
Yep. No, it's laminated. And then the other list is just like. Oh, man. I want to just start rattling off the names and then I could.
Dan Rykert
I bet I could. That'd be a fun segment, me trying to guess your top 10. I bet I'd get him.
Mike Mahardy
I could rank someone.
Dan Rykert
Your number one would be.
Mike Mahardy
No, the number one changed very recently and I. He jumped. Jumped up the list pretty quickly.
Mary Kish
It's kind of like goatee.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, it's Mike. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Yep.
Dan Rykert
That dude's a fighter.
Mary Kish
A little Saint Michael.
Dan Rykert
He's like Batista. In the ring, he'll kick your ass.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. All right. Well, Morgan, thank you for the email. Future episodes you can write in, get us some good questions for the lot. Next four episodes. Because episode 100, we've got some. Some stuff planned that we're gonna fine tune before we get there. Yeah, we might.
Dan Rykert
We.
Mary Kish
We're gonna fine tune it. We're gonna fine tune it.
Mike Mahardy
We talked about it. We're fine.
Mary Kish
We're gonna fine tune it.
Mike Mahardy
We'll tweak it. But the next four episodes, get some good emails in. That's fire. Skipcast Gmail.com Mary, I usually toss this to you, but then you mess it up.
Mary Kish
Panic.
Mike Mahardy
Go to firescapecast.com or go to all of our socials. We link to our merch pages. You can go to Fire Escape Merchant Merch. Oh that. No, I it up firescapemerch.com for merch.
Mary Kish
It's not so easy to plug the merch, is it?
Mike Mahardy
Go get our merch. What is it? I'm not jet lag. I just came. We'll get tons of shirts. Go like that. Fire Escape merch.comjake.org Jake, don't go to fuckjake.org you should. And yeah, if you're not a patron, you want to unlock video episodes, video versions of the episodes ad free versions or you just want to treat it like a tip jar because you appreciate what we do. That's fire escapecast.com or go to patreon.com fire escape. As I mentioned a couple episodes ago, we no longer. Patreon does not charge you on the 1st of every month, even if you sign up on the 18th, for instance. It's subscription billing now, so you will just be charged every month on the day you signed up, which is enough. Nice quality of life thing to have. And then outside of that, go follow us on Blue Sky Instagram. Those are the two we use. Go Follow Go Fire Escape cast there. Dan, what do you have going on outside of Fire Escape?
Dan Rykert
Oh, giant bomb stuff. You can watch archives of all of our game of the year stuff. Should be up around the time this episode is coming out. Personally, you can follow me on Bluesky, Instagram and Twitch, which are the things.
Mike Mahardy
And you're playing Command and Conquer Generals on your Twitch channel right now.
Dan Rykert
I think I do want to play more of that.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, yeah, play zero. Or if you get to zero hour, if you find time, let me know what you think of it because I would like to.
Dan Rykert
Yeah, it's.
Mike Mahardy
I might even like maybe we could set up Like a multiplayer thing. Because it was fun.
Mary Kish
Mary, what about you, Twitch? Every Monday I stream. Right now, I'm obviously playing through Silent Hill 2, but I will play whatever sparks my fancy during the given time. And I also was. I'm just gonna say it. I was invited to do Giant Bomb's top 10 games. So I'm gonna write a top 10 games for you. And I'm really excited about doing that. I do it every year and it's like a genuine joy for me to like, rank them, think about them, talk about them. So I will do that. And it will be something I will deliver with gusto.
Dan Rykert
All of our best friends will be writing top 10 lists. Everyone, without any exceptions. Isn't that. No.
Mary Kish
All of the best friends.
Dan Rykert
Yes.
Mike Mahardy
I don't get that.
Dan Rykert
Oh, no, that's okay.
Mike Mahardy
You said you. You told. You asked me to, didn't you?
Dan Rykert
Oh, I did.
Mike Mahardy
You sent it to our. You said it to the founder. Yes.
Dan Rykert
That joke doesn't work then. Because if I invited you.
Mike Mahardy
All right, I was complaining that Grub overlooked me for the couch, but that's. That's more my beef with him. I'll. I'll take it up with him.
Dan Rykert
Well, you're not forward facing.
Mike Mahardy
I know that's. And then after I. We talked about this before the episode, then I said I was just joking. I was just making sure that you knew my ego was bruised.
Dan Rykert
Sure. Oh, God. You're going to kick Grub's ass at the game. Aw, we get it.
Mike Mahardy
Watch out.
Dan Rykert
I think Grub could take you. I think Grub could take you.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, he could. No, he fucking couldn't. I'm just kidding. Yeah.
Dan Rykert
Do you think he could? I think he could.
Mike Mahardy
He might. He might have that Ohio dad strength.
Dan Rykert
I think he thinks of his children.
Mary Kish
And picks you up and body slams you. That would be really cool.
Dan Rykert
My money would legit be on Grub, I think.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah, I could see that. You'd be. I'd be making a lot of money. Yeah, let's. Hey, hey, Grub. Let's. Let's hang out at the game wards.
Mary Kish
I'll thigh crush any man.
Dan Rykert
I mean, we're broadcasting Mike, if you want to.
Mike Mahardy
I would box people impress, but I have too much actual boxing experience. I think it'd be on fair. But anyway, thank you everybody for coming. I'm just here at Fire Escape and I'm over doing my day job as usual. But yeah, it's been a good year. We're getting toward the end of the year. I think we have one more episode before 2025 checks out, right?
Mary Kish
Wow.
Mike Mahardy
No. Do we wait?
Mary Kish
Yeah, 2024.
Dan Rykert
The 30th will be the last one. Yeah.
Mike Mahardy
Okay, cool.
Dan Rykert
We should do a Game of the year episode or something.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. Be sick. Where we just consider indie.
Dan Rykert
It's only ones that are eligible.
Mary Kish
Indie Game of the year. Just Zelda. Call of Duty.
Mike Mahardy
Yeah. All right, thank you, everybody, for joining. We will be back in two weeks, December 30, episode 97. Until then, stay cool.
Mary Kish
You guys were saying Indiana Jones, weren't you? I thought you said indie Game of the year, like indie games of the year.
Mike Mahardy
No, we don't. We don't like indie games.
Dan Rykert
I love indie games.
Mike Mahardy
No, Dan doesn't like them. I don't. I think they're. They're just.
Dan Rykert
Me and Mary are defenders of the indie game. No, mostly me, but Mary also likes them.
Mike Mahardy
My game of the year was an indie game.
Mary Kish
Zelda.
Dan Rykert
I like. Oh, I've contained multiple.
Mike Mahardy
That's an Indiana Jones quote, isn't it?
Dan Rykert
I don't know. What is that from?
Mike Mahardy
No, it's fucking Walter Whitman, I think.
Dan Rykert
Oh, yeah.
Mary Kish
He's like lay. He's got layers like an onion.
Dan Rykert
Yes, I do.
Mike Mahardy
All right, well, we'll be back.
Mary Kish
These are bonus. Bonus episode nuggets.
Dan Rykert
This is under 800 tier. You get all the. All the talk.
Mike Mahardy
Thank you, everybody. See you later. Bye. There's.
Fire Escape Cast #96 Summary
Release Date: December 16, 2024
In Episode #96 of the Fire Escape Cast, hosts Mike Mahardy, Dan Rykert, and Mary Kish delve into a variety of engaging topics ranging from travel mishaps and personal anecdotes to in-depth video game discussions and listener interactions. Here's a comprehensive breakdown of the episode's key points, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps.
The episode kicks off with Mike Mahardy recounting his recent trip to France and the harrowing experience of nearly missing his flight back to Newark.
Oversleeping and Alarm Failures:
Uber Mishaps and Airport Confusion:
Bag Check Nightmare:
Security Delays and Final Boarding:
The hosts transition into a light-hearted debate about TSA's liquid restrictions, blending humor with genuine frustration.
Limits on Liquids Explained:
Alcohol and TSA:
Creative Quips:
The trio engages in a speculative and humorous discussion about the future of self-driving cars and AI.
AI Learning and Remorse:
Personifying AI:
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing Paul's sudden decision to sell his house, revealing deeper concerns about his well-being and planning.
Sudden Decision and Lack of Communication:
Implications of Moving into a Smoking Hotel:
Humorous Speculations:
Dan and Mary share their mischievous tactics for dealing with frustrating situations at bars and with neighbors.
Dan’s Stink Bomb Escapades:
Mary’s Neighborhood Tactics:
Humorous Outcomes:
A substantial segment is dedicated to dissecting various video games, offering reviews and personal experiences.
Dan’s Impressions:
Gameplay Mechanics:
Character Voice Acting:
Mary’s Experience:
Comparisons to Resident Evil:
Dan’s Enthusiasm for Vampire Survivors:
Mike’s Insights on Command & Conquer Generals:
Engaging with their audience, the hosts read and respond to listener emails, infusing the episode with humor and personal opinions.
Frozen Candy Preferences:
Blanket Statements Debate:
Humorous Exchanges:
The hosts discuss their personal routines, dealing with jet lag, maintaining healthy habits, and managing digital distractions.
Dealing with Notifications:
Marathon Training and Health Goals:
A heated debate unfolds over the merits of different cities, particularly San Francisco, highlighting diverging perspectives.
Dan’s Harsh Opinion:
Mary’s Defense:
Mike’s Neutral Stance:
The exchange underscores the personal nature of city preferences and the subjective experiences that shape them.
Episode #96 of the Fire Escape Cast is a vibrant tapestry of personal stories, humorous exchanges, and passionate discussions. From the chaos of international travel and quirky machinations against nuisances to deep dives into beloved video games and spirited debates on cityscapes, Mike, Dan, and Mary offer listeners a rich and engaging experience. Their ability to intertwine humor with genuine concerns and interests makes for a compelling episode that resonates with both regular listeners and newcomers alike.
For more insights, games discussions, and personal anecdotes, visit fireescapecast.com and support the hosts in keeping the conversations lively and entertaining.