Fire Escape Cast #97

Summary

Fire Escape Cast #97 – Detailed Summary

Release Date: December 30, 2024

1. Celebrating Four Years of Fire Escape Cast (00:54 - 02:10)

In this milestone episode, hosts Dan Ryckert, Mary Kish, and Mike Mahardy reflect on nearly four years of producing the Fire Escape Cast. Dan remarks on the podcast’s journey: “April 2021. So. Wow,” highlighting the growth and dedication since their pilot episode in mid-2020 (01:05). They discuss the initial surge in popularity, humorously recalling fans holding signs outside their homes: “There was a lot of clamoring, people holding signs outside of our houses” (01:44).

2. The Evolution and Irony of Ugly Christmas Sweaters (02:10 - 06:04)

The conversation shifts to holiday traditions, focusing on the infamous ugly Christmas sweaters. Mary observes the commercialization and ironic embrace of these sweaters: “There was a point when Spencer's only sold like 400 terrible looking sweaters with sexual innuendos” (05:18). The hosts delve into the history, tracing back to the 1950s and noting their resurgence in the 2000s and 2010s. Dan comments on the trend’s longevity: “I feel like the ugly Christmas sweater thing… just became what people wore” (04:30).

3. Personal Mishaps: The Mac and Cheese Fiasco (06:04 - 16:10)

Mary shares her amusing experience wearing a Stouffer's "Tis the season for cheese and sweater" hoodie, receiving curious reactions: “I was like, what is that? That is so funny” (06:38). Meanwhile, Dan recounts a severe food poisoning incident after ordering a colossal macaroni and cheese dish, “Macamania,” at the Chatterbox Pub. His symptoms included relentless vomiting and discomfort during an important company meeting, leading to a two-day ordeal: “I laid in bed for, like, it felt like two days straight” (15:07). Mary adds her own tale of becoming violently ill at the Game Awards after consuming contaminated hors d'oeuvres, resulting in public vomiting and a lengthy hospital visit: “I puked in that” (22:43).

4. Wrestling Meets Gaming: Stephen Flow and Local Legends (16:10 - 29:00)

The hosts introduce Stephen Flow, a grunge-themed wrestler from the Chicago area, whose repetitive theme song humorously modifies "Even Flow": “His theme song is just them saying Stephen Flow over and over” (28:59). They discuss how local wrestling stars like Flow and the “pizza Luigi Primo” persona add entertainment value, blending humor with athletic prowess. Dan muses on the crossover between wrestling and gaming fandoms, appreciating the unique characters that emerge from both worlds.

5. Gaming Highlights: Astro, Helldivers 2, and Rocket League (29:00 - 51:00)

Mary enthusiastically discusses "Astro's Christmas level," praising its festive design and integration of PlayStation game bots: “It's everything you would want an Astro Christmas level to be” (49:15). The conversation transitions to co-op gaming experiences, particularly "Helldivers 2" and "Rocket League." Mary highlights the camaraderie and exhilarating late-night gaming sessions, emphasizing the blend of teamwork and competitive spirit: “We played Rocket League until four in the morning” (66:05). Dan shares his admiration for "Silent Hill 2," lauding its audio design and horror elements: “I think it is one of the best designed audio games” (79:10).

6. Listener Interactions: Pokémon Analogies and Drink Shaming (51:07 - 119:00)

Listeners send in questions, with Joseph asking, “What things in real life do you think are most like Charmander?” The hosts engage in playful debates, comparing their personalities and drink preferences to Pokémon evolutions. Mike and Mary address the issue of drink shaming, offering strong rebuttals against those who mock others' beverage choices. Mary emphasizes societal pressures and toxic masculinity: “The patriarchy is like the biggest chains in the world” (97:39).

Mary discusses various spirits and cocktails, such as the Harvey Wall Banger, and the challenges of finding orgeat syrup for cocktails, highlighting the importance of enjoying drinks without judgment: “Drink whatever you want to drink” (93:57). The hosts share humorous anecdotes about shaming behaviors and reinforce the necessity of personal freedom in drink choices.

7. Cruel Game Design Choices (109:14 - 118:00)

Responding to Zephyr’s question about the cruelest things encountered in games, the hosts cite examples like "Breath of the Wild's" Korok seeds offering minimal rewards and unexpected game mechanics from "Dark Souls," such as sudden boulder crashes: “It's just like the game is too well crafted for me to… it works” (114:03). Mary criticizes "Mass Effect" for its limited story endings, reflecting on how sometimes games fail to honor their narrative promises: “It's a bit of a defeatist to have a game that was all about story and then just not have that” (114:03).

8. Closing Reflections and Future Plans (118:00 - 131:30)

As the episode concludes, the hosts reminisce about favorite moments from the year, including traditions like holiday dinners and travel trips to Portland. Mary shares a humorous story of a group photo from Portland with Dan in a towel, while Mike discusses his plans for the upcoming year, including travel and potential streams: “I'm looking forward to next year” (117:59). They express gratitude to listeners and patrons, encouraging continued engagement through their website and Patreon: “Patreon money is what makes the game of the year possible every year” (130:12).

The hosts tease future content, including discussions on classic games like "Metal Gear Solid," "Silent Hill 2," and "Castlevania," and express excitement for reaching 100 episodes in the coming year. They conclude with playful banter about their in-game antics and personal jokes, reinforcing the camaraderie that defines the Fire Escape Cast.

Notable Quotes:

• Dan on his severe food poisoning ordeal: “I did a wipe. There was no residue” (14:56).
• Mary on societal pressures around drink choices: “The patriarchy is like the biggest chains in the world” (97:39).
• Mike on drink shaming: “If you want to put ice in your white wine or rosé, who cares? That's great for me” (96:25).
• Dan on enduring and overcoming personal insults: “I've never had my feelings hurt once” (109:22).

Conclusion

Fire Escape Cast #97 serves as a reflective and humorous finale to the year, blending personal stories, gaming insights, and listener interactions. The hosts maintain their signature blend of camaraderie and candid conversation, ensuring that both long-time listeners and newcomers can enjoy and relate to their shared experiences and perspectives.

Transcript

[Mary]

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[Mike]

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Fire Escape Cast. This is episode 97, the last episode of 2024 fire escapes. Fourth year operating. Something like that.

[Dan]

Yeah. April 2021. So. Wow. Yeah. I guess April will be the five year. No, four year anniversary. What?

[Mike]

We're almost to four years.

[Dan]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that checks out. Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. But we were doing stuff before that.

[Dan]

We did the half year, five game of the years.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Mary]

That's what makes it confusing is because we did. We did a goatee as our very first test epi. And when we did that, we kind of were like, oh, this is. Let's. Let's do it for real. But I consider that a part of the pre announcement.

[Dan]

Yeah. We did halfway through 2020 as the first one. Then we did the game of the year 2020. Yeah.

[Mike]

That was like our pilot episode.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And then people were like, I cannot imagine my life without this.

[Dan]

You have to. Clamoring it. They were emailing.

[Mary]

They were clamoring.

[Dan]

There was a lot of clamoring people holding signs outside of our houses.

[Mike]

Lots of them.

[Mary]

Get them away. We said, get back.

[Dan]

Back.

[Mike]

I say, yeah, be gone.

[Dan]

When you leave the house. It's like there's old clips of the Beatles and there's just like a million people chasing them through the streets.

[Mary]

Yeah, I know. We almost got canceled. Mike said we were bigger than Jesus.

[Dan]

Yeah, but we stand by that. We stand by that. We all said that.

[Mary]

He stands by it.

[Dan]

We're bigger than Jesus.

[Mike]

Yep. In numerous ways.

[Mary]

We bought that billboard. That's right.

[Mike]

It's in Oklahoma somewhere. If you're driving down 63. Yeah. And us just all like, flipping double birds in the air.

[Dan]

Crotch chops.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I wore. I told you guys this, but I think I didn't post a Photo. But I think people would find it funny. I wore my dorky Christmas sweatshirt to my day job. Very funny party. And a person who I like a lot. Pretty high up my company.

[Dan]

Do I lose person?

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. Not even on the game scene. Like, the wider team.

[Dan]

Wow.

[Mike]

The, like, she's high up. She's like, what is Dorky Christmas? What does that mean? And I was like, oh, God. I. Oh, it's just a podcast I used to listen to. I honestly, it's an inside joke. I forgot how it started, and then I kind of just like, sidled away.

[Dan]

You should have been like, my friend had a dream that he got a handshake, and it was called A Dorky Christmas.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's not even. There's no, it's not like that. It's inappropriate. It's that the explanation is so weird.

[Dan]

Just separate, too.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's inappropriate, definitely. But also, like, yeah, he had a dream where someone offered him a Dorky Christmas. But in the dream logic, it made sense that it was a hand job.

[Dan]

But also, in the dream, it didn't even happen. So I guess it's not that inappropriate. It was offered using that verbiage, but.

[Mike]

I don't know if. I don't know if, like, the VP of my company would differentiate between whether the Dorky Christmas happened.

[Dan]

I think it's just wasn't finished then.

[Mike]

Yeah, that would be a very fun HR meeting.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was. It actually. It was. It was dry and it was. There was no completion. He woke up first.

[Dan]

That's true.

[Mike]

But it was funny.

[Mary]

I'll get my things.

[Mike]

I made sure to stand in, like, the front row so you could see the sweatshirt. I'll. I'll send you guys the photo.

[Dan]

That's fantastic. Got it.

[Mike]

And I really just didn't have any other. It was, you know, the theme was, as usual, ugly Christmas sweater. And that was the. Like, I have that one of the Santa who's ripped lifting weights. But I was like, that's played out.

[Dan]

I feel like the ugly Christmas sweater thing, like, drawing attention to the ugliness that started, what, like, 10 years ago? Yeah, about that kind of just became.

[Mary]

Oh, no. When it became ironic because, like, if they were in the 90s and 90s, like Christmas films, you'd always see ugly sweaters.

[Dan]

So it was never like, I found the ugliest, silliest one. It was just like, that's what people.

[Mike]

Wore, you know, I. I'm with you, but I'm sure if we Google it, we'd realize we're wrong. I don't feel like googling it though. Yeah, well, no, I do. Yeah, I do actually.

[Mary]

When do you think I'm sick of.

[Mike]

Saying and finding out months later. I was nowhere near.

[Mary]

I'm trying to just wonder like the commercialization of it, which is I. What we're talking about is it kind of when it became oh wow, mainstream ruined in a little bit. I think it's still fun and I think people should still wear their, their silly sweaters. But there was a point when Spencer's only sold like 400 terrible looking sweaters with sexual innuendos like jingle my bells and stuff. My stocking honey. And it's just like at some point you were like, I think we've, we've jumped the shark on these sweaters.

[Dan]

The funko popization of it all.

[Mary]

Yeah, we were as they say, yeah.

[Mike]

We were not far off. So they originally came to be in the 50s as Jingle Bell sweaters. However 60s and 70s counterculture, they became like more like not even ironic like on purpose to show like more of a low class holiday expression. 80s a certain lead in a show called the Cosby show popularized them with strange patterns.

[Mary]

You love that.

[Mike]

The 90s and 2000s, the style of ugly Christmas sweaters winded down but was Revived by the 2001 film Bridget Jones Diary or Mark Darcy is shamed for wearing an unattractive knit reindeer sweater. And then 2000s and onward ugly sweater parties become popular and the trend gained camp appeal in the 2010s. So yes, you're spot on.

[Dan]

And now it's gotten even more fun. You know, I go home for the holidays and it's like, oh good, there's a bunch of Trump Christmas sweaters. Great. That's fun. That's a great time.

[Mike]

Yeah, you can be, you can be open about those these days. Now even more open.

[Dan]

I guess people are celebrating down there. It's great for them. Yes.

[Mike]

Yeah. But I don't have many these days.

[Dan]

I don't, I've never really. I did it once for like or once or twice for. We did that for Giant Bomb where it's like we did Christmas sweater stuff and I got like a Macho man Randy Savage thing. But I don't think I've ever been a sweater guy.

[Mary]

I have the best one because Dan gifted me Stouffer's Tis the season for cheese and sweater.

[Dan]

You still have that, right? You took that home. The big Dan.

[Mary]

I get a, I get a lot of comments on this. Stouffer's Tis the season for Cheese and sweater. I really do. Really, I. I genuinely do. I got stopped in a supermarket three times. People saying, what is that? That is so funny. Is there macaroni on the sleeves? And I was like, you bet your buttons there are. And it's just like. It's funny, it's ironic, but it's also, like, genuinely from Stouffer's, and it has a bowl of Mac and cheese. I'll take a photo and. And share it because it's a funny, genuinely. It is a funny sweater. This is how it happened. Is this. I went to Dan's unprepared, as per usual. I. I think I had to go from a different work trip. I went literally from a work trip to your place. And I didn't have time to pack for both climates, so I didn't bring enough sweaters, and I was cold, and so I asked you for a sweater. You gave me a whataburger one onesie.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Which I. Yeah. Snuggie.

[Dan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

It was really comfortable.

[Mary]

Super comfortable. I loved it.

[Mike]

I gave it to me first. I was wearing it.

[Mary]

He gave it to me first. Yeah. How did you get in here?

[Mike]

This is really comfortable.

[Mary]

Yeah. I got up. I got up in the middle of the night for a glass of water, and I laughed, and I yelled at Mike in my pajamas. How Mike got in my pajamas, I have no idea.

[Mike]

Yeah, you woke up a lot heavier than when you went to bed just.

[Mary]

Dragging this loaf around. But anyway, so the. The whataburger onesie was very comfortable, and I enjoyed it. And then I was like, damn it, I wish I had, like, one more sweater, because you really shouldn't leave the house in a Whataburger onesie. I think you can.

[Dan]

Right?

[Mary]

But I do think it's frowned upon socially. And so Dan takes a box down from his gar, and it is a Stouffer's Christmas package, and it is filled with several sweaters from Stouffer's. Who I. Shoes. Like, just sends you stuff because you love Stouffer so much. And it included a tis the season for cheese and ugly sweater. It also included a Mac and cheese hoodie, which I think is hilarious because that's what we did last time we visited you, actually.

[Mike]

I love this restaurant.

[Dan]

Do you have a studio or does that.

[Mary]

I do. It's in my closet. It. I. You had. Dude, my carry on was stuffed to the brim. I was worried at any moment it was going to snap open and all of my Mac and cheese wardrobe was going to pop out on the Plane. But I got both those babies home.

[Dan]

I am glad you did because I mean it. I think I might have ruined macaroni and cheese for myself. And I think this has been a big arc of like, between break. I think my body and brain now have revolted against macaroni and cheese and are, like, telling me that, like, hey, you can cannot keep doing this this way. You know, breaking my finger. I'm glad I gave this stuff to you. That not my house anymore. Because there's a good chance, I would say a 50% chance, that I will have to just randomly leave this room in the middle of this podcast and either puke or my brains out. Oh, God. I guess I haven't talked to you guys since.

[Mike]

No, that's not just something you can bring up.

[Dan]

Oh, okay. Okay. So Wednesday night. So as of this recording, this was, you know, five days ago, six days ago or whatever. Tim Turry, your friend and mine, was in town for the holidays and him went out to the Chatterbox Pub to kind of catch up, have some drinks, have some food. I go there and this place used to be really good. I looked at more recent Google reviews and it's like, oh, something has happened to this place. And I ordered a menu item called Macamania and it was a vat.

[Mary]

Describe it.

[Dan]

Okay, so it's a vat of macaroni and cheese. Great. Awesome. Which, by the way, I also got a appetizer of a big soft pretzel and beer cheese dip. So I had a bunch of that to get wet.

[Mary]

Yeah. More your cheese appetite for your cheese main for the vat.

[Dan]

Yes. And so. Yeah, that's what I said. Yes.

[Mike]

Foreplay.

[Dan]

Yeah. And so the thing with Macamania is it's just the biggest bowl of macaroni cheese you've ever seen.

[Mary]

I need to know about. Macamania is not a bowl.

[Dan]

It's like a deep cooking dish that's like flat at the bottom. It's like a cauldron.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Mary]

And it's a bathtub.

[Dan]

And you pick three.

[Mike]

We're familiar with these containers.

[Dan]

Yeah, I am too, unfortunately. And so you pick three add ons. And I picked pulled pork, sage sausage and chili. And I wanted. They didn't. That I didn't pick chili as the third add on. They thought I wanted a separate order of chili. So they brought me the vat of Macamania and a big ass bowl of chili. And I told him like, oh, I hope I'm not getting charged for this because I wanted this as an add on. She's like, okay, I'll just take it off, but you can just pour it in there. Okay. And I just dumped the entire bowl of chili into my Macromania vile Dad. Oh, my God. So what did Tim order? Something?

[Mary]

Hot dog.

[Dan]

Something very simple.

[Mike]

Something normal.

[Dan]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Mike]

A piece of lettuce.

[Dan]

Yeah. So the nanosecond I'm done, actually, probably before I finish eating this thing, I start feeling terrible.

[Mary]

Did you finish it? I just want to know.

[Dan]

I did finish it. And also, like, they didn't bring, like, forks and there's just like a weird, like, mug thing on the table that, like, I didn't know. There was just, like two forks in there that I couldn't tell if they were clean or not. And I asked him, I was like, do you think these are clean? He's like, yeah, they must have washed it. But it looked like a discard mug for dirty silverware or something.

[Mike]

Like someone busing is condensing.

[Dan]

Yeah. So I used it and, ooh. Felt real bad by the end. And I'm like, okay, all right, see you, Tim. You know, go home, have a beer, go to bed. Next morning, I wake up a couple hours before I normally do, and it's just gurgling and a burgling in there. It is just like the stomach is just rolling over itself. I'm laying next to. She's asleep, and I know she's gonna hear this, so I hate to give this detail, but I'm like, she's asleep and this is not a. Like, I try not to fart around her too much, you know, like, she.

[Mary]

Just told me, like a gentleman.

[Dan]

I just feel weird just, you know, farting willy nilly around my wife all the time. But I'm just going to town. It's like, I. This is going to be an issue if I don't. And I thought it would ease the stomach percolating and.

[Mike]

Oh, boy, I hope you shit your pants.

[Dan]

Well, we're going to get some more details here, because keep in mind, I've never shit my pants past diapers age, so. Oh, God.

[Mary]

Victory lap for you.

[Dan]

Yeah, I take.

[Mike]

I might be going back to diapers age soon.

[Dan]

I had to get up and I'm just feeling real bad. I go downstairs, I have a couple Mountain Dews. And then to try and calm the gurgle, they said carbon. Carbonation helps with the gurgling, right?

[Mike]

Yeah, but you're also putting sucrose and lucros.

[Dan]

It's fine. So I had a couple Baja Blast Zeros and I go down.

[Mike]

Oh, zeros. Okay.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah. And we've got a morning meeting. It was like an all hands meeting where it was like, you know, there's, you know, different. I'm not gonna go into like details or whatever, but, like, you know, we're having meetings as a company and stuff.

[Mary]

About different corporate jumble.

[Dan]

What 2025, what we're doing, you know, it was like a bigger, like, hey, we're all gonna get together and talk about the plan for 2025, basically. So it's an important meeting and I go on there, I turn the camera on and stuff, and I'm just like, just feeling my face get white and I'm feeling just things. And I've never, like, had to leave a meeting, really. I don't think for like a bathroom emergency, like, like a long stream or something. If it's like just me and Grub will be like, I'm go take a piss or whatever. This is like an important company meeting. And at one point I'm like, I farted because my mic is muted and I'm like, I can fart. This is fine. And there was a feeling that I had. I was like, that's. I have farted tens of thousands of times in my life. I've never felt that. And so I just turn off my camera and I sprint to the bathroom. I do a little wellness check on the situation and no issues. It was just. I did a wipe. There was no residue.

[Mike]

Are they still in. Are the. Are the underwear in question still intact? I'd like to inspect these myself.

[Dan]

They're totally fine. They're in the right now. We take them out of the hamper. If you need to check them out for the laundry, we can save it for next time.

[Mike]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna need some time with them.

[Dan]

Yep, yep. So I'm like, okay, cool. Just good to know not to trust any farts today. Run back to the meeting, turn the camera back on. Yes. Everything's normal as professional.

[Mary]

Didn't just maybe shit my pants.

[Dan]

No, no, no one's the wiser until I talk about it on a podcast. And then I am like, five minutes. I'm just like dying. And it's like a scheduled, like 45 minute meeting. And I'm just like, oh, God. I keep looking at the clock. I'm like, I gotta make it 23 more minutes. I gotta make it 20 more minutes.

[Mary]

A long time when you're gurgling and.

[Dan]

I feel terrible and I have turned the camera off again. I sprint into the bathroom and just puke everywhere. Just. And I was it Mac. It was, like, very watery. It was like.

[Mary]

Do you think it was the Baja Blast zero?

[Dan]

No. No. I think, like, two of them that.

[Mike]

You drank in the morning.

[Dan]

Everything was a jumble. The Mac and cheese, the Baja Blast, everything. The next 36 hours a jumble.

[Mike]

Is this a Christmas poem about drinking? All the Mac and Baja Blast were a jumble.

[Mary]

I sprang from my seat to see if my ass was a splatter.

[Mike]

There was no streakage. Nothing was the matter. Yeah, well, we could go on for hours. We gotta stop right now.

[Dan]

So I was supposed to be on a podcast that day. I was supposed to start my Blight Club game the next day. And it's just like. There's just no fucking way. It's like, for the Blight Club game, I'm doing this Terminator 3 thing, and I gotta wear this elaborate, stupid fucking thing. I'm like, I'm just gonna shit my pants in this if I do this. So I had to. I laid in bed for, like. It felt like two days straight. Like, didn't get out of bed. Didn't. I felt I couldn't even, like, play a game or anything. I was just, like, puking and laying down and putting ice on my head. I puked more in that couple days than I puked in the last, like, five years combined.

[Mary]

You must have gotten food poison.

[Mike]

Yeah, you've had food poisoning still.

[Dan]

I'm still feeling the gurglings and burglars in there. I went out to dinner again last night. That was the first, like, actual, like, dinner meal I've had since it happened. It went all right, but what did you have?

[Mary]

Did you have Mac and cheese?

[Dan]

I had. So it was a Japanese Italian fusion restaurant thing. And one of the things was a pasta type thing, but I don't think I would call it Mac and cheese.

[Mary]

What was it? Was it pasta with cheese?

[Mike]

Japanese Italian fusion?

[Mary]

Yeah, it's confusing in itself.

[Dan]

San.

[Mary]

None of that is necessary. Was it cheese? Pasta Dan.

[Dan]

There was cheese. I can look up the menu. It was a lot, though. It was like, almost like tapas. Tapas style, where we just, like, ordered, like, a ton of different stuff. Here we go. Here's the menu.

[Mike]

Spanish and Italian and Japanese.

[Dan]

Oh, they're Spanish.

[Mike]

Oh, regular unite. No tapas.

[Dan]

Arancini.

[Mike]

That's not worth explaining.

[Dan]

I had arancini. I had pork gyoza. I had sweet potato karaoke. I had some pasta. What was the pasta? Yeah, one of these was, like, a cheesy Ish thing. But I don't think anybody would call it macaroni cheese. But I did have. We had two different pizzas. Like, pesto pizza with mozzarella. Yeah. Skewers of meat and stuff like that.

[Mary]

Have you considered maybe taking it easy on the cheesy?

[Dan]

I think I do think it's my body kind of telling me that, like, hey, you can't just keep having cauldrons of macaroni and cheese and, like, six beers, you know?

[Mike]

I thought you were going to say you are finally, like, developing lactose intolerance, but no, you're saying that you're still associating Mac and cheese with the food poisoning, which happens. Like, I still can't have a burger from a very famous chain in New York because I got food poisoning.

[Mary]

Right.

[Dan]

It's weird.

[Mike]

The physiological link to it.

[Dan]

So, like, I'm eating again and it's mostly fine, but, like, if I think of macaroni cheese, it's off. But also this place now. I looked at the recent reviews, and it just seems like it's like. I think Tim described it as like, a bunch of Muppet babies trying to run a restaurant. And, like, so, like, it was super slow. Like, all the service, like, they just wouldn't even look at you. They're rolling their eyes at the customers. This one guy, the bartender for a while was, like, rubbing his eyes, like, I got a bunch of Worcestershire sauce in my eyes. And he just stood there like, ow. For like, a long time. And then there was a Google review being like, yeah, the bartender cut his thumb open and was bleeding. And I said, oh, you need a band aid for that? He's like, no, I'm fine. He just kept bleeding everywhere. So, like, I don't know what the hell happened to the chatterbox for. Yeah, but they have an NS set up there, which is why I like it.

[Mary]

The number one rule of all restaurants is, is don't make people sick. That's it. It's not even make good food. That is secondary to not getting people sick. And the idea that there's, like, people who need Band Aids and possibly used silverware in a mug on your table is really vile. And I think that's so stressful that you had to go through that. Going. Getting food poisoning is, like, one of the worst hells that people can experience that. That I can imagine.

[Dan]

I think I've maybe had mild versions of it in the past, but this is like, this one. Gotcha. Knocking me on my ass. And, yeah, it's.

[Mike]

I've gotten it twice in the last, like, 10 years. And it was so bad the first time. Try not to get too graphic. There was nothing left. There was nothing left to come up. When my bot.

[Dan]

I was.

[Mary]

Do you still have your underwear?

[Mike]

No, it was not. It did not come out that end. It was all mouth stuff.

[Mary]

Okay, just. Just checking.

[Mike]

Yeah, they're in a glass case in the dining room. On the wall. Yeah, it's like your body, it just still feels whatever it is.

[Mary]

Epoxied. We turned it into a.

[Mike]

No, it's. It's taxidermied underwear.

[Dan]

Oh.

[Mike]

It has an animal face to it.

[Dan]

Like, for the first, like, I would say 24 to 36 hours, it was puking. And then after that, it was mostly just fire hose from the ass.

[Mike]

Nice.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Great.

[Dan]

Yeah. But like, with force, where it likes, you gotta like. Okay, I'm sorry, but, you know, normally you wipe your ass and I use a bidet, so it's like, very nice and clean, but it's all just centralized there. But when you have that fire hose ejection situation going on, it hits the water with such a force that you have to, like, wipe your ass cheeks.

[Mike]

Your body, because there's like, get a.

[Mary]

Shower.

[Dan]

Gun blast all over your whole buttocks.

[Mary]

That's fucking disgusting.

[Dan]

It sucks so much.

[Mike]

You need it. You need, like a second toilet, specifically for diarrhea. That's really tall. Like, so you sit way up here.

[Dan]

Shoot it way down. It's like a bottomless bit. Like a cave tour.

[Mary]

Yeah. Splash zone.

[Mike]

Build an outhouse and then write Diarrhea shack on it so your neighbors know not to go in there.

[Mary]

I told you guys that I got food poisoning at the game awards last year. Right. I remember that.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Mary]

I couldn't eat for like six days. The longest.

[Mike]

Didn't see you. After a certain point, I feel like it was awful.

[Mary]

I had, like, hors d'oeuvres, like, at a. And I think, you know, probably something sat out too long. There's a couple. There's always. I think I went to three that night, so there's no guarantee of who it could be. And everybody else was eating the food, and I'm the only one who got sick. But I. I was ill and I had to take a flight. And so I was like, don't worry, you can get through it. But I hadn't eaten or drinking anything in like, you know, 12 hours. And so I was very thirsty, and so I had a half a bottle of water and I had some sips of my half a bottle of Water. As I was in the security line for tsa, and as it was my turn, I knew I was going to puke. There was no way I was going to get out of it. You just know. You know, like, you try and repress it and you think. You try and mentally say, like, it could be anything, but it was happening. And the closest thing that we had was the water receptacle that you can dump your water bottle liquid in. And I puked in that.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mary]

In front of a whole full TSA line.

[Dan]

That sucks.

[Mary]

It was awful. It was awful. And they didn't stop me. They let me go through, and nobody bothered me. And I went through the TSA line. And then I just. I propped myself up next to a little garbage can, and I sat there for 20 minutes until my flight. It was a. It was a miserable, miserable end of the year. I didn't eat for. I think I said, So I couldn't eat for, like, six days. And on this sixth day, I was like, I genuinely think I was able to drink water, I think, after two days. But when you can only drink water and you can't have food for six days, I was very concerned for my health. And so I made an appointment with a doctor, an emergency visit, and said, I haven't eaten anything solid in six days. And she looked at me and she said, you'll be okay.

[Dan]

Oh, yeah.

[Mary]

And I was like, I did it. I thought you had to eat food.

[Mike]

In, like, three weeks or something.

[Mary]

I don't know.

[Mike]

Yeah. Don't trust anything I say. I'm just recounting vague memories of a.

[Mary]

Doctor if you haven't eaten. But I think the way I received it was, you think I got a bunch of meat on my bones, lady. She kind of was like, oh, you're fine. If you were Kitty, I'd be worried. But you're good. Go home and you can last a while. This is just the plague of the woman. But I was like, how dare you say that? I'm not gonna die from not eating for six days.

[Dan]

Tell me I'm gonna die.

[Mary]

Yeah, tell me I'm too skinny.

[Mike]

Say I'm dead. Say the reaper is just hiding behind the door.

[Mary]

I was.

[Mike]

Say he's salivating.

[Mary]

I had the most toxic reaction. I was so sick. And I was like, my body looks incredible. And I would not get. I don't approve of this. But, yeah, that was, like, my terrible experience. After six days, I had some saltines and I was back, baby. But I. I still. And I. I don't know. Again, but, like, I think it could have been like some kind of Mac and cheese ball situation. And I do think that Mac and cheese has a special consistency that might lend itself to food borne illness. There's just something about, like, it's just gooey. It's like half warm, half cool. Anything can be in that goo. You wouldn't know it if there was like a fingernail in there because you just kind of like gulping the whole ball at once. So I just think it lends itself to something you can hide gross stuff in.

[Dan]

I really wonder if it's. If I'm gonna shake this, like, because I. It's. I could think about eating a steak right now or peanut butter sandwich and be fine, but Mac and cheese, I'm like, oh, God, no.

[Mary]

Mac and cheese is gonna be a tough one. And I agree with what Mike was saying. When you have a physical reaction to food, mentally, that can harm you. For years, I puked my guts out on my 16th birthday because I ate a whole rack of ribs. People said I couldn't do it, and I did it. And then I puked that shit out and I couldn't have ribs for, like, five years.

[Dan]

Yeah, you sound cool as hell.

[Mary]

Oh, everyone said the bell of the ball that night.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Covered in barbecue sauce. The bell of the ball.

[Mary]

The best quinceanera you ever did see. I couldn't eat ribs for, like, like five years. I. I can eat ribs now. But I had a visceral reaction to. To like, smoky barbecue sauce for years.

[Dan]

Oh, my God. Like, I'm feeling like even just thinking about the Mac and cheese right now. My stomach is.

[Mike]

Yeah, stop thinking about it.

[Mary]

Cheese.

[Dan]

Maybe I will. Yeah. I am planning on, like, January. I was like, okay, I gotta actually start getting ready for the training for the marathon stuff. So I, like, I am seeing this as like, all right, I've got, like, a week left, a week and a half to eat, like, an asshole drink and stuff, and then I might get pretty serious about it.

[Mike]

But why don't you start.

[Dan]

For the holidays?

[Mary]

Listen, my body is really starting to go away, so I'm thinking in two weeks, I might give up.

[Dan]

Look, I'm not a big resolution guy.

[Mike]

I forgot about that.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah. I'm not a New Year's resolution guy, but traveling Christmas, we're hosting a New Year's party, all that stuff, you know, so. Oh, God. I've also been getting this thing you get with food poisoning where, like, you wake up just covered in sweat and, like, it. It's cold, like, I think it's a.

[Mike]

Little bit of fever.

[Dan]

Okay. Yeah, because like, Bonk walked and we sleep with the. The door open out to outside, and it's like 6 degrees outside. Wind chills, you know, Cool. So it's like we keep it cold as in the room. But, like, she'll walk in and be like, oh, my God, it's so cold. And I'll be like, covered in sweat. I assume that's a food poison.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's.

[Mary]

You had a fever, bud. Yeah, yeah. For sure. You should not.

[Mike]

The sweat is like, often when the fever breaks for a bit, which I always.

[Mary]

Which is good. My mom always said, but I don't. She want doctor. But every time I. I broke my sweat, she'd be like, oh, good, you broke your fever.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Mary]

I don't know why that. That made me feel better that she said that.

[Mike]

Because your body is like. I don't know. I imagine it would be your body, like, oh, there's nothing left. We need to kill by overheating you so.

[Dan]

Well, I kept getting that feeling too. Like, after. Like, these were like violent, loud puking sessions where I'm just like, just. It was crazy. And then after.

[Mike]

Absolutely.

[Dan]

It felt like it was coming, like, out of my heart. It felt like. Like it was wretching. Like my heart and esophagus. Like it was. And then afterwards, once it was all out of me, I was just like, kind of almost collapse like next to the toilet. And I would just be sweaty and lightheaded. And that's the few times I would be able to get some sleep is right after a puke. I would lay down in my body. I was like, God, dude. Like, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Broken, battered bodies. Broken souls. Is that the wrestling term?

[Dan]

That's something you heard once and it stuck with you.

[Mike]

It's the coolest thing I've ever heard. What was that? Was that announcer?

[Dan]

I think it was some. Aw, Jim Ross thing.

[Mike]

Yeah, Jim Ross. Yeah. He's like, battered bodies, broken souls. Like, that's. Why have I not been watching wrestling my whole life?

[Mary]

That's like Joy Joyce and.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Shakespearean announcer.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And are you. Unless there's any more to add for the food poisoning.

[Dan]

I mean, like I said, there's rumbling. So.

[Mike]

If you see me, just leave.

[Dan]

The room without saying anything. It's all.

[Mike]

30,000 listeners will know why you left now. So you set it up. Well, speaking of wrestling, though, Dan, I sent you the other day. I'm enjoying watching videos of this Stephen Flow character in Chicago.

[Dan]

Right.

[Mike]

He's a. He's just a grunge themed wrestler in apparently Chicago area. And his theme song is just Even Flow. But it's not just that they replaced Even Flow in the chorus with Stephen Flow. The song is just them saying Stephen Flow over and over to the rhythm. Yeah, it's really good.

[Dan]

I can always tell when something breaks out of Wrestling Nerdom and goes into the mainstream through, like, some. Just like.

[Mike]

Because I'm texting you about it.

[Dan]

A billion people are like, yeah, text the wrestling guy about him. Like, yep, yep, Saw that, Saw that. Yep. Stephen flows 1. There was the pizza Luigi Primo guy a couple years ago who, like, made a pizza while he was the assassin. Like, kill the guy. Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, gotcha. Yeah.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That was sick.

[Dan]

Yeah. And yeah, Stephen Flow definitely broke out of that mold.

[Mike]

Good for him.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Is he. Is it like an indie circuit he's in?

[Dan]

I mean, yeah, he's not like a guy that you would see on. I mean, maybe there's a whole dude.

[Mike]

Whose theme is just an orange and my hands are my pocket because I saw wet hot American summer. So, like, if he can.

[Dan]

He's a fucking legit superstar. He's a big guy.

[Mike]

He's. He's very acrobatic. Is he still doing stuff like.

[Dan]

Well, yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

He's the coolest person I've ever laid eyes on.

[Dan]

He's very good. Yes.

[Mike]

What else is new holiday time? New Year's, Dan, you're doing your annual New Year's Eve party.

[Dan]

Yep, doing that. Got a bunch of people coming over for that. See if dad's coming up, if you can make it out of the hotel for that.

[Mike]

Oh, God, yeah. Any updates on that?

[Dan]

We were all asking him frequently for updates and it's like, oh, I'll update you when something happens.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Mary]

There's no. Yeah, he's still in the hotel.

[Dan]

Just in the hotel.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Dan]

Yep.

[Mary]

Yeah, that's just gonna be his home.

[Dan]

Apparently he had, like, a realtor visit planned to look at some stuff, and then he canceled the last second because he said he was too busy. But he doesn't have a job and doesn't leave the hotel, so I don't know what the hell that means, so.

[Mike]

Oh, your dad canceled because he was too busy, not the realtor.

[Dan]

Yeah, that's correct. Oh, yeah. So we're all. Yeah, yeah. It's funny, I've told the story on, you know, Gian Bum and hearing stuff and see comments on people. This seems, like, concerning. You should, like, bring. It's like, yeah, like the Version you get on the podcast is like, oh, so here's this weird thing that we're dealing with. Of course, in real life, it's like no real ass conversations about, like, do we need to like, talk to him?

[Mary]

Step in? Yeah. Are you guys gonna have like a intervention? I mean, but it's about not having a house.

[Dan]

We're waiting to see if he figures something out. I'm checking in on him all the time.

[Mary]

Him.

[Dan]

Others are checking in on him all the time. We're not getting much from him. But yeah, there's very real concern. And so I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'll figure it out. I'll get serious about it too. And I'll get serious, like, oh, man, I just. It's. It's tough. It is tough.

[Mary]

Parents are tough, you know, because like, they're full ass grown adults, and parents probably at no point like the idea that as their children grow up, the children start looking at the parent and being like, are you okay? And the parents like, go yourself. I fed you.

[Mike]

I housed you, conceived you.

[Mary]

I took care of you during your stupidest moments. And now you have the audacity to ask me how long this milk has been in the fridge. Get. Get out of here.

[Dan]

It's been expired for three years. Yeah.

[Mary]

This is a common thing that I think most people experience with their parents because there is that point of time when you start saying, well, you're getting a little older now and I am a little worried about you leaving the oven on, you know, or like whatever it is that parents each have their own unique fibers that make you a little worried. I have that with my. My dad started doing this weird sleep walking thing at one stage in his life where he. He fell down the stairs in the middle of the night and he doesn't remember it. So he woke up and must have been walking around and made it to the stairs and fell down them. And so it was a huge deal. And he was like, I'm fine. I know when I'm walking downstairs and it's like, you absolutely the do not, because you fell down the stairs. And he just relocated to a house with no stairs. He calls it the final move, if you know what I mean.

[Dan]

Sure.

[Mary]

And now he doesn't have any stairs he has to worry about anymore. So he solved it on his own. He didn't need me.

[Mike]

Yeah, I sleepwalk a lot.

[Mary]

Yeah, maybe you should not have we talked about this before on the fourth floor of a building?

[Mike]

Yeah, I'd have to Get. That's true. I would have to. And there's a fire escape right out back of our bedroom. I would have to get through a door first. I don't know if I could do that in my sleep. Although I do a lot of specific stuff when I'm sleepwalking, and I think I've figured it out. You've seen our apartment. I think our bedroom is a bit bigger than it needs to be. It's so big, we're gonna add stuff to it later because, like, way back in the day, it used to be a separate apartment. They busted out the middle and made them, you know, condos, whatever you want to call it. I think the room is so big that when I wake up in the middle of the night from dreaming, I see shit happening on the other side of the room. Like, shadows moving because it's so far away that I then freak out and think, there's people in my room, in our room. And then I turn lights on and, like, run out to the l. Living room. Sometimes that happens, like, on a maybe weekly basis.

[Dan]

Really?

[Mike]

Yeah. And I'm. The funny thing is, I'm usually fairly conscious. Like, I'm there. It slowly dawns on me that I'm doing something weird.

[Dan]

So it's not like a sleep paralysis thing. It's not like, oh, no, I'm. You wake up and you can't move.

[Mike]

And I'm all over the place. You can't move.

[Mary]

You don't have a gun, do you?

[Mike]

No, I have thought about just firing off rounds left and right. Right. No, I don't.

[Mary]

It's kind of like Dan's father. Like, we joking. But I am worried about you. I'm worried about Amanda most of all.

[Dan]

Yes.

[Mike]

I. I don't. I don't think I would ever. Because again, I'm there. It's not like it's completely sub or unconscious stuff. It's. I'm sort of present, and I just need. It's usually either Amanda or me who's like, wait a minute, what am I doing? And I'm kind of embarrassed. So I go back to the bedroom. Like, I. I knew what I was doing. I was doing it in the first place. Yeah, it was a bit. Go back to sleep. It's four.

[Mary]

It's a bit.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's the witching hour. Or. Or the place is haunted and I'm actually onto something.

[Mary]

I mean, I can have it.

[Dan]

You need to get a gun.

[Mike]

The ghosts are gaslighting me. I need a ghost gun. It's that level from Future perfect. Where you have the ghost gun and the real gun.

[Dan]

Oh, it'd be fun to be a ghost. I would love to be a ghost. Yeah.

[Mike]

It'd be really good.

[Mary]

Instead of.

[Mike]

Yeah. The silver sword and the steel sword. Yeah.

[Mary]

Yes.

[Mike]

Make sure separate gun.

[Mary]

The right gun for ghosts. But you accidentally shoot. Yeah. The neighbor's dog with the ghost gun.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Dan]

I wish it could be a ghost. Just like. I wish I could just go, like, flip a switch and just be a ghost when I want to and then go back to just being a guy.

[Mike]

Go to John Drake's house. And with him.

[Dan]

I do go to John Drake. First and foremost. When I think of just with someone like as a ghost. Me being a ghost with John Drake. That's a sitcom.

[Mike]

If you die or. I mean, when you die.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I Absolutely. You will be a ghost. I have no doubt about it. You have too much unresolved back here on earth that one lifetime cannot contain.

[Mary]

That you'll be finished business. And it's farting in all these baby crisps.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's just farting. Pooping in everybody's underwear to convince them that they. Their pants at so poop.

[Dan]

Transparent. Just turds.

[Mike]

Yeah. They're need a separate ghost toilet and ghost bidet.

[Dan]

Ghost toilet.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mary]

Curly gates of heaven. You will never see Dan.

[Mike]

St. Peter's like, what. What are you doing here, guy? Come on.

[Mary]

Go back.

[Mike]

You go to the gates of hell. They're like, we don't want you go to purgatory. They're like, I don't.

[Mary]

He's a ghost by requirement. Neither place wants to house.

[Mike]

No afterlife will take him. Yeah.

[Dan]

I'm just the farting ghost on earth.

[Mike]

He's too badass for hell and too. Too chaotic for heaven.

[Mary]

Too badass for hell.

[Dan]

That sounds sick.

[Mike]

Bumper stick.

[Mary]

I'm sure Satan says all the time.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Sorry, bud, but you're just a little too badass for hell.

[Dan]

I'm gonna get that T across my belly button. Like in gothic font.

[Mary]

Too badass for hell.

[Dan]

Number four. Yeah.

[Mike]

No. In the Godfather.

[Mary]

My way out of heaven. Too badass for hell.

[Mike]

Yeah. My way out of heaven. Chat. My way out of hell.

[Dan]

For eternity.

[Mike]

Yeah, we got. We got. We got a Someone's. I hope someone's writing down these bumper stickers, because we got a lot of them.

[Dan]

Oh, yeah. We got to get in that bumper sticker business.

[Mike]

We had that idea. Fucked my way out of heaven. The angels. I ran train through all the angels. Then I got bored.

[Mary]

Get him out of here.

[Dan]

Farting in your Cribs at night.

[Mary]

If you hear a soft fart in your crib, know that it was us.

[Mike]

Do you want to talk about video games now?

[Dan]

Yeah, sure.

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[Mike]

Oh, God. She's got the.

[Dan]

Hell. Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Dan]

Oh, God.

[Mike]

Just gonna start hurling.

[Dan]

God.

[Mike]

Oh, Mary, that's cruel. That's so mean.

[Mary]

It's like. Look at how gooey.

[Mike]

Like, there's a clear hole that's so up. I'm. It's disgusting me. And I didn't just hurl my insides out from. Okay, we gotta stop. He's gonna puke. No, no, this is actually. I can't tell if this is funny or up. Yeah. All right, let's come back. Let's go. All right. If you're just joining. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're back. Okay. We've been back. If you're not watching the video version, Mary has donned the aforementioned macaroni sweatshirt. And it's. Even through these, like, cameras. It's real detailed. It's like they put a 1920 by 1080 JPEG onto a hoodie. God, it's. It's. And Dan's got a thing over his face because you can't look at it. I. This is kind of fucked up.

[Dan]

That is. I'm not kidding. That is making my stomach.

[Mike]

It's really, really the delighting.

[Mary]

Do you need me to change out of it, Dan?

[Dan]

No, I'm a big boy. No, I'm a big boy.

[Mike]

It's macaroni make me sick.

[Mary]

It is a gross sweater. Like, I think it really. It's gone out of its way. Like, how. Look how shiny. Made all the cheese.

[Dan]

They sure did, didn't they?

[Mike]

Don't show us your pits.

[Dan]

Arm pit. Macaroni and cheese. I was about to say macaroni and cheese been attacking me for a year now.

[Mary]

But they got nude beaches.

[Mike]

Oh, before. Yeah, the French babes don't shave their pits line just made me. Reminded me. Have I told you guys we're watching through all the James Bond movies? Like, I got the Blu Ray collection, finally.

[Mary]

Why would that make you think of that?

[Mike]

French babes? I don't know. All the women are just items, like objects.

[Mary]

That's just such a clear line from Home Alone. And you're like, oh, I said that.

[Mike]

And then you did a Home Alone line. But then I heard about French babes not shaving the pits. It reminded me of all the women in bikinis and James Bond. And I haven't told you. We're rewatching these. Have you seen, like, the early. All of them?

[Dan]

I've only seen, like, the Brosnan and, like, half the Craig ones. You gotta stop doing that. Mary just stopped.

[Mike]

What if it.

[Mary]

If. Wait, with this, it looks like I'm putting my hand in. In a noodle.

[Dan]

God, that's.

[Mike]

Okay, hear me out.

[Mary]

No, no, no. That's how you get out of heaven.

[Mike]

Bad for the camera, probably, but anyway, I don't. Yeah, we watched Dr. No and from Russia with Love. Love. It's crazy how slow these movies were.

[Dan]

I think that's why I. I struggled to go back, because I was like, you know, I love goldeneye and the bras and ones and stuff. And I was like, oh, I've heard Connery is the best. And I saw, like, Goldfinger and I was like, okay, I appreciate that. Like, oh, that's where Dr. Evil comes from, or whatever. But, like, it wasn't like, that was.

[Mike]

From Russia with Love.

[Dan]

Oh, okay. Well, whatever.

[Mike]

We just watched that one.

[Dan]

You could see a million, like, you know, references and Simpsons bits and stuff that came from these movies, but it's like, I didn't find it, like, super exciting. You know, I always forget that Robert.

[Mike]

Shaw was the Russian, the Spectre assassin trained to kill him too, which is just funny. See him when he's not Quint. Jaws. Yeah, but, yeah, we're rewatching them. It's like Dr. No, the first movie. Holy. It was slow.

[Dan]

Really.

[Mike]

And then out of nowhere, someone gets burned alive and you watch the whole thing. It's. It's a very weirdly paced series. And then, of course, like, even, like, Pierce Brosnan era, they. They upped the action. A lot. They went from being these like merely these spy thrillers with some kind of shitty action sequences to all of a sudden the most finely choreographed fight scenes in any movies ever with Daniel Craig. Pierce Brosnan set pieces gets crazier and crazier until he's fucking driving a Lamborghini through an ice palace.

[Dan]

Yeah. Invisible car with space.

[Mike]

Invisible car, Yeah. I don't know why I thought it was a Lamborghini, but anyway we're playing those. Speaking of old movies, I've been playing Indy in Indiana Jones and the great superhero.

[Mary]

Oh, nice.

[Dan]

Yes. Yes.

[Mary]

What do you think?

[Mike]

I just got to Giza, the second big area. I like it a lot. However, I don't think I'm gonna finish it. It just made me want to redownload all the Dishonored games. It's great. I love that machine games went this route and did not feel the need to just make a shooter. I have not fired my gun once and I'm in like a. Or seven hours in because there's like the interstitial stuff. I think the moment to moment gameplay is. Is pretty clunky. Especially like some of the platforming stuff you're doing. It's not heavy platforming but when you're going up certain ledges just doesn't feel great. I also think I love scouring the environment and the environmental storytelling. That's why I'm playing it. And the main story is. Actually has me pretty hooked. I think it's doing a good job of that. But there's just something like after I've crouch walked through my sixth hour and I'm just bonking Nazis over the head with any number of items. Which is fun. The novelty has worn off. Off, sure. And it just made me want to play Dishonored in which any. Within any given 5 minutes I could warp to someone in like inhabit their body, go kill their friend and then jump off a ledge as them and then go back to my body.

[Dan]

There's.

[Mike]

And it's. It's unfair to just. I'm not like outright comparing them but obviously there's some immersive sim inspiration in indie. It has led me to replay Dishonored and those games are still really fucking good. I'm playing the first ones definitive edition on PS5. I think it's a PS4 game but I'm playing it on PS5.

[Dan]

I think it' just interesting that it even took that approach to it. I think Indie is more interesting than it had any right to be. Or that I think anybody could have Reasonably expected it to be. I do share some of the complaints. I think a lot of the strengths are in the presentation, the way they use the license, some of the exploration stuff. Really doing Indiana Jones shit throughout the game. But yeah, clunky is a good word for a lot of the stuff. And I'm with you on like, you know, it is very fun to sneak up on these Nazis and just beat the out of them with a frying pan, but you do that like 50, 60, 70 times, you know. And I did get to a point where I think I stopped playing it. I think I'm done with it. It's still in my top 10 of the year. I, I liked it a lot, but I got to a point. Slight spoilers here, mostly gameplay. I'm not gonna finish it if anybody wants to mute or anything. Oh yeah, I got to a point where it's like, yeah.

[Mike]

Oh yeah, we have people listening.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah, we're recording this.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan]

I saw that the game was like, you know, 12, 14 hours long. It looks like I had like maybe two or three hours left in the game. And it's basically this thing where it's like you take a boat up to a pyramid and you have to get inside the pyramid and to do it you have to like go underwater. And there's just a big ass snake, like a giant like anaconda. And you know, it's like, oh, Andy, he hates snakes. Yeah. And this is like the biggest snake you've ever seen. And it's, it's like a. I hate underwater sequences and I hate stealth sequences. And I hate, especially hate stealth sequences where it's like insta fail if you get caught. So it's like, it's all of these things.

[Mike]

Stop doing that, developers.

[Dan]

Yeah, and it keep, it keeps going for a while because I was like, you know what, I'm enjoying this game. I've died like 10 times through some horseshit here. I'll keep trying, I'll keep trying. And then it would just keep going. And I'd be like, all right, I just got to get past this part. I'm sure I'll be on solid ground soon. I don't have to worry about this fucking snake. And it's just like, I probably died like 20 times. And it's just like you're just swimming through all the stuff. It's kind of hard to see things and keep track of where you're going. And then all of a sudden you see this like red ring pop up, snake eats you, makes the same Music Stinger every time. Back at the beginning, I just got to that point where it's like, you know what? I think I've seen what this game does. I think I appreciate it for what it does and I can definitely speak to it. I've probably played 80 plus percent of the game at this point. I think I'm good. So I did stop playing it and it's just like that sequence was rough for me. I did not enjoy that at all. But I also still have an overall, you know, very positive feeling about that game, but just didn't finish it.

[Mary]

But you quit because of a snake, which is pretty significant in a 12 to 14 hour game.

[Dan]

Yeah, I mean, I kind of was at the point anyway where I was ready to just kind of get to the end, you know, because it was like I was going in this pyramid. I was like, all right, there's just. I can see what's going to happen here. There's going to be a bunch of puzzles and stuff. And I've done a ton of them in this game already. They're fine. You know, they're good. So I was ready to be done anyway. And I think just that being a very annoying sequence. If I was loving the game and I wanted to keep going forever, I wouldn't have let the sequence stop me. I would have pushed through it. But it's like, this is just right. I'm good. I'll move on to something else.

[Mike]

Is that like the. In terms of big areas? There's the Vatican, there's Giza. What's after that?

[Dan]

Oh, the, the Himalayas. The like snowy area, which is. That's a really cool area. It's not super. It's not like a super long open thing, but it's a. It's a. It's a cool set piece area.

[Mike]

And then call back to the beginning of Raiders. He's in the mountains when he sees. What's her name, the bartender. They have a drinking contest.

[Dan]

Right, right. All right. In the fire and all that stuff. Yeah, it's like. Yeah. And then it's like. I'm gonna say this perfectly pronunciated. It's like Sukhutai or something. I think it's. I don't know if it's like Thailand or Shanghai or something. It's just like. It's a jungle boat going around snakes.

[Mike]

It sounds more like village.

[Dan]

Kind of looks like, you know, like Apocalypse now when they get to those vill. But yeah, just going down the river and then you get to a pyramid and stuff.

[Mary]

So Such a beautiful movie.

[Dan]

Oh yeah, yeah. But yeah, great game. But I was, I was ready to be done by the end.

[Mary]

Okay. Well, I mean, good game pass game.

[Mike]

Apparently it's a really good game pass game for sure.

[Mary]

Pick the wrong month to quit game pass. You know what I mean?

[Dan]

Yeah. There's other stuff. Real quick. Astro has a Christmas level that's out and it's, it's pretty substantial. It utilizes. Yeah, it's really cute. It's obviously just super festive. There's just a million little jingle bells and stuff that you can spin through and send flying Everywhere. There's like seven new bots to get from different PlayStation games. There's like 15 presents to find. And then you have access to all of the different. Like here's the frog box and gloves. Here's the shrink power here. So like you can go around and utilize all that stuff in this one big like festive wonderland level. Big Christmas tree that, you know, big jolly thing with a face. And it's, it's everything you would want an Astro Christmas level to be. What are some worth playing? Oh, Gex and Croc and Tamba and.

[Mike]

Gex isn't in the base game.

[Dan]

No, no Gex in this. Yeah, Gex, Croc, Tomba. I think there might be a helldiver in there. I'm not sure.

[Mike]

What is Tomba from?

[Dan]

Tomba?

[Mike]

Oh, what's, what's Parappa the rapper from?

[Mary]

I thought you guys were just making up words.

[Mike]

What's Donkey Kong from?

[Dan]

Mario?

[Mike]

Oh no. Is it the other way around?

[Dan]

I guess technically Mario's from Donkey Kong. Yeah.

[Mike]

Do I know more about Mario than Dan does?

[Dan]

Get that macaroni out of here. Yeah, rubbing her macaroni jpeg.

[Mike]

Well, that's fun. That's nice. Are they like, is there a roadmap out? Are they going to continue pushing stuff out DLC wise for a while?

[Dan]

I think the only thing they really announced early on was that they were going to do the Speedrun levels. And then I didn't know until I saw the team, the team of Soviet team at the game awards and they told me like, by the way, there's Christmas level coming out. And I think it was like the next day or something it was out. So I don't think they're announcing stuff like very far ahead of time, you know. Okay, I hope they do more. I mean I just, I want a sequel at this point. Very much want that. But yeah, I'll take anything I can get with that game.

[Mike]

It's a fun game.

[Mary]

It's great that they're continuing to update it too. Especially from all the hype from winning Game of the Year. And congrats to them for taking home the big prize. You know, I mean Game of the Year is still quite coveted and it's cool to see a team that. I think. I think it's a nice Cinderella story considering that is a team. Originally was like we're playing with tech for the PlayStation and we're just an internal team that wants to have fun with this sick ass controller. So we're gonna have a lot of fun here. But they made a game that was so smooth and so polished and fun that it ended up being their goatee. I just think that's great. It's a good for them.

[Dan]

Yep, I think it's fantastic and you know how I feel about that game. So to see any success or praise go its way, I love seeing. So very nice.

[Mary]

I think, I think that's great. So good for them. I looked forward to seeing what like the next thing they have in store because I think maybe now that they've made a full fledged Astrobot with all the bells and whistles, will they branch out and make something new? Is what I'd be interested in.

[Dan]

I think what I want and I think would probably be likely considering the success is an Astrobot sequel. And I think that since this was the big everything about this story and the way it ended and all the bots was so PlayStation Nostalgia centric, I would think that the sequel. Okay, well we've done the PlayStation bonanza. Let's just have Astrobot have his own adventure that's not necessarily as super tight. Like maybe still flies around with a controller, stuff like that. But like maybe not collecting 170 PlayStation characters, stuff like that. So yeah, I don't know. I'm interested in whatever they do next.

[Mike]

I want. It would be great to have an equivalent of Astrobot for like every major publisher. I mean Nintendo does that stuff all the time but like yeah, it'd be cool to have like an Xbox thing.

[Dan]

Yeah. I mean you got Halo, you got Gears, like a bunch of Forza cars. I mean you can do the deep cuts and stuff. There's all the like original Blood Wake and you know, Crimson Skies and stuff. But like it's not as like mascot heavy. I guess you could do like abe's Odyssey and stuff.

[Mike]

But sure, yeah, yeah. But yeah, because they were always trying to go like more mature sort of from the beginning with their post racing.

[Dan]

Yeah, it was Master Chief from day one.

[Mike]

You know, just every plane from Flight Simulator.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mary]

With their little robot butts shaken. Yeah. They're trying to make them as cute as humanly possible, but it's just all, like, animatronic items.

[Mike]

That boy, Max got cake. What have you been playing?

[Mary]

I've been playing Ballyonaire. Have you heard of this game?

[Mike]

I didn't know if that was a typo. No, I have not.

[Mary]

I put it in all this so that it would be clear. Yeah. So I found out about this because the developer who made Balatro tweeted that he was playing it, and he was like, this is a great game, and I hope more people hear about it. And there was something about the trailer that I saw that I thought kind of had Balatro type mechanics where you're building a deck, per se. But Billionaire is not a card game. It is a Plinko game. I don't know if that's actually what you call it, but where you drop.

[Dan]

The ball, but you're not like, picking where you drop it. It always comes from the same center thing.

[Mary]

The ball always hits the top of a triangle. And then your deck is all the different things you put in the triangle that your ball can hit. And if it hits it, you make money. And you have to solve for how much money you make. Each round I think you get five ball drops. And the first round, it's like, hey, you need to make $500. And so every time you dink something, maybe you get five bucks, maybe you get 20. Hopefully you can make something where it just keeps hitting the same plinker multiple times. And so you end up making like, three or four hundred dollars off of one ball drop. But the amount that you have to make adds very quickly. And so BY like, the fourth or fifth round, you have to make $100,000. And so it's all about building your Plinko deck deck to make sure that the balls are hitting something that actually adds to the other things that you've added. And that sounds very complicated. So let me give you an example, because this is how I did it. I learned that each time you finish a ball, it lets you add another Plinko into your triangle. You get to pick something. So maybe it's a tree that every time you hit it, it makes you money, but the tree gains currency each day. It grows like an actual tree. And so if you survive to day 20 in this game, now it's. Now it's like, worth hundreds of dollars every time you, you, you plink it. There's other Ones I think are really fascinating because they, they interact with other Plinkos. So there's one that lets you every. If you touch it, it takes it with it. It like basically like it carries it on its back and now you have an item with you and if you touch another one while you're carrying the thing that you were carrying. Sorry, it makes, it makes a second Plinko ball. So now you have multi ball. I know this sounds kind of weird, but it's all themed as this. It is silly looking and I will say it's like rudimentary like in the. The UI and the design of the menu is like holiday. This was made by one person. This is like clearly like UI art. But it's, it's fine. It gets the job done. What I enjoyed the most most was finding commonalities between different Plinkos. An example would be that I, I found that if you carry a cash register and then you hit an item while you're carrying a cash register, you release a coin which is essentially another Plinko. And the coins would make money if you could but get them at a piggy bank. And the piggy banks would accrue money over time. And so by the end of this game, and the reason I ended up winning this game was because I had so many goddamn coins in my piggy bank. My piggy banks were giving me $20,000 dollars per round. And so I was rich as because of these piggy banks. But took me like seven or eight goes at this game to discover all of these connections between the Plinkos and actually, and actually getting it done.

[Dan]

I think that I could tell that was going to be the case is that you have to like play it, you know, get through a few runs to, for it to click because like I was playing it on a plane and it was just, you know, on a plane. I just like to turn my brain off and so sure it is a.

[Mary]

Very turn off game. Like you can just plank away.

[Dan]

You don't have to once you learn it because like when I was starting it on a plane it was very much like, all right, the block of cheese does this and these, if I hit it from underneath this, does this and stuff and everything. Like this seems cool, but I just don't want to think at all on this flight. And so I just load up Vampire Survivors.

[Mary]

But that's funny.

[Dan]

Curious to play more of Ballinard. I did like the whole vibe of it.

[Mary]

I encourage you to play it another round and like play around with the idea that like because it's a triangle and because the ball drops in the same spot each way, here's like my main hit hint. The very top of the triangle is your juice. If you put something there that your ball will now carry, you are guaranteed to make multi ball. If that makes sense.

[Dan]

Okay, I see what you mean.

[Mary]

And you can game the system a little bit by saying, hey, the top of my triangle is going to be a chicken. And every time you hit it, it's going to release eggs and then the eggs will become food and then the food will become my main income for that round. And it's. I think it's fun. I do not think that this is of Balatro status. The Balatro dev tweeted it and I was like, oh shit. If Bellotro loved it, this must be fucking banger. I think it's a fun way to waste some time. I don't think this is an expensive game. You can tell this is a kind of single Deb situation. But for people who are Plinko fans, if you are like, hey, I just kind of want to connect weird components in a Plinko machine, this is for you. I think this is a fun game to waste some time and play around with. But again, rudimentary, especially the menu design. The text is weirdly small and I found that I had to like, look like an old grandma where I was like, what does that say? And I was like kind of trying to zoom in on the game.

[Mike]

Looks small.

[Mary]

But it was a delightful game that I played throughout my game awards press. When I wasn't working or attending the game awards, I played this in my hotel room. It took me about seven tries to beat it. I've played it about. I've done about 15 rounds, maybe 20 now, and I've, I've beat it three times now that I've not. I've solved how to make money. So yeah, I think it's fun. I actually think it was a cute game, but definitely a more simple experience.

[Dan]

Kind of reminds me of like almost like that Peglen, you know, where it's like, okay, here's, you know, we take a couple ideas from other games and it's kind of a low production thing, but it's, you know, a fun hook to it.

[Mary]

It's. It's a good, like a, a good indie dev situation where you're like, this is a good concept and I can see why. It has legs. Is everything. Are all the bells and whistles there? No, but you can understand the game and I think you can have fun with it. And I absolutely agree with you because I was 100% hooked on Peglin. I think Peglin is a fantastic. I think Peglin is better than this game in the sense that it's got like those RPG mechanics and you're like growing your character over time. Like I'm a huge Peglin advocate. But I think Ballonair is just an way to like spend an hour and play around with these building mechanics. If you have the right things together. Crazy shit happens. And it's fun to watch balls drop.

[Dan]

Yeah. How timely. Right?

[Mary]

And timely New Year's, right? That's right. I've got the perfect New Year game. It's ball and air.

[Dan]

Everyone do that at midnight on New Year's. I'm canceling the party.

[Mary]

Drop your balls. All at the same time.

[Dan]

Yep.

[Mike]

I don't have a. I've been playing a lot more metaphor. I don't have a ton more to say that I didn't during our Game of the Year episode. My. My criticism. Not criticism. My praise for how often it shakes up its own structure and pacing that stands. In fact, I honestly think this game like raises the bar pretty substantially for like long form Japanese role playing games. Games. It's every big dungeon I get to. It's like a whole new like consideration and prep that I have to do. And then I'm also just really enjoying the more archetypes classes I unlock. Combining all those. It's. It's a great game. I still am liking it a lot.

[Mary]

I'm glad. I still liking it. How far in it are you? Just for context because it's not a short game.

[Mike]

You know, I want to say I don't know the hour count. It's got to be at least 50. I'm fourth major done, fifth major. Dungeon palace, whatever you want to call them. Dungeon. So I'm far in and I've got, you know, I've got, you know, more party members than I could put in one party. But it's. Yeah, enjoying it quite a bit. And then only other thing I have played Warhammer 3's newest DLC, Omens of Destruction. And it's fun. They, they, they reworked some factions. I won't go into super detail. Oh, I thought Dan left to go.

[Dan]

It froze for a second now.

[Mike]

Puke or something?

[Dan]

No, it's all inside me.

[Mary]

Is this about the Mac and cheese?

[Dan]

Nope. Gonna turn off Mary's camera here soon.

[Mike]

Yep. But yeah, no, Warhammer 3's good streak of DLC is ongoing after that clusterfuck that was Shadows of Change about a year and a half ago. Dan, you've been playing Marvel Rivals, which is surprising.

[Dan]

Well, yeah, I mean, I normally wouldn' Right. I had the same thought. No, we did it for a stream. You know, that's a great thing about.

[Mike]

I've heard good things, to be clear, but.

[Mary]

Yeah, I have too. But I just. It's not a. This podcast game.

[Dan]

Right. It's part of what's fun about, you know, working in, like, Giant Bomb for a living is because, like, I might get exposed to stuff I would never seek out myself. And it's like, we decided to do a stream of it, like a big multiplayer one. Like, sure, I'll. I'll hop in. And skeptical at first because, like, I'm not even a huge, like, Overwatch guy. Like, I liked it for like, 50 hours when it first came out, but I haven't really thought about hero shooters since then, and I don't give a. About Marvel, so it's like, this doesn't sound like something for me at all. And it's not like I'm gonna go nuts and play this. Like, I play COD all the time or anything. But, like, I really did appreciate what it's doing. I think there were a lot of, like, really fun powers that all the. The different characters had. And it made me realize that, like, it made me think a lot about hero shooters in 2024, going into 2025, because obviously with Concord this year being that big story and the failure there, and a lot of what you heard was like, oh, well, you know, hero shooters. This was started developing when hero shooters were supposed to be the next big thing, and now it's just there's not that appetite for it. But that failed, and people are really liking Marvel Rivals. So is it maybe just that, like, okay, they made a good one of these, it's free to play and has a bunch of recognizable IP with Marvel, like, they just kind of did it right. Whereas Concord was like a new IP no one knew, and then they, like, charged for it. So maybe it was just. Just. It's not that people won't give a hero shooter a shot nowadays. It's that just the whole launch of that was bungled. You know, the whole marketing was very bad of that game.

[Mike]

So, yeah, Concord did not have much of an identity.

[Dan]

That's the thing. It's like Marvel Rivals. Oh, Marvel Overwatch. Like, that's an easy sell. And then it's free to play. You can picture a lot of people just being like, yeah, I'll give It a shot. Whereas, like, Concord's like, here's this thing you've never really heard of, and you don't know what it is or how it stands out. Also, give us $40 to try it. It's like, that's such a harder sell.

[Mary]

It's an impossible sell when Overwatch is there. And I think, like, ultimately, I actually think Overwatch is the bigger killer, because Overwatch people have had lots of time to hear about it and learn about it, and it's free. So how are you comp. You can't compete.

[Dan]

Yeah, absolutely. And, yeah, I guess I was just surprised by how much fun I had with it, you know, finding your character where it's. You know, you start with, like, Punishers, a very simple. Just kind of like shooting, like, soldier 76 type guy. And then I saw, you know, I would fight, like, some iron man on the other team and see them flying around and shooting lasers and stuff, and it's like, oh, that looks fun. I realized I was really good with Iron man, so it's like, okay, I think I found my guy. That's really fun. But again, probably not gonna, you know, put 50, 100 hours into it, but, you know, if we did another stream on Giant Bomb or something, I would happily jump in and not be skeptical because it turns out it's actually quite fun.

[Mary]

I feel like everybody sharing the shark guy. I don't know who that is.

[Dan]

Yeah, I don't know what the deal with that dude is.

[Mary]

Everybody likes that shark guy or likes to hate that shark guy.

[Dan]

I don't know. He's. I see him in a lot of matches. Nikki Grayson was the shark on our team and ate me and Manati and barfed us off of a cliff and killed us accidentally. That's cool.

[Mary]

That's pretty cool.

[Dan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

Barf. Barfed you up like Mac and cheese.

[Mary]

When I play. When. When I play Yoshi in a competitive, I always try and swallow people and poop them out over the ledge as an egg.

[Dan]

It's a classic. Yep. Yep.

[Mary]

That's my only move. So once they find out that that's my move, then I'm in. I'm in deep shit.

[Dan]

Mine is dk, and I grab them, and I just, like, walk off the edge and I just, like, drag them to their doom along with me.

[Mary]

Maybe I'm a shark girl, too. Then I just like to. I usually learn one move, and then I say, once you guys figure me out, this is a short chess match. I have one move.

[Mike]

It's kind of your thing. So we better get used. Yeah.

[Dan]

No thumbs up. It's good.

[Mary]

I'm glad.

[Mike]

Mary, you're playing Rocket League again. And Helldivers 2, well, you probably never stopped, but you wrote them down this time, so it must be substantial.

[Mary]

They're connected. So when Game Awards happened, Helldivers had an update. And the update was a new faction which we've been waiting for for a long time. There's a bit of lore in the alien ones is important. Yes. They've been teasing this for a while, but I think there already was an alien. So there's essentially like there's bugs and robots and then they would keep teasing that something else was coming and laser stuff. I remember talking about the laser stuff. There was like. And it just kind of. We never heard anything for such a long time that I think it kind. That the. The tension dissipated. It was just like whatever, like, release it or don't, guys. Like, we're sick of these laser conversations. Like, there's only so much you can build on Reddit about this. So I think we. I ended up kind of fading off a little bit. But the Game Awards, they revealed the new faction, which is sure aliens, but like, let's be real, it's zombies. Like it's people that are in a zombie state. Yeah, it's strange. And the update was like out now. To which everyone freaks out. I'm like, fuck.

[Mike]

I mean, yeah, you flew home early.

[Mary]

I. Yeah, I left immediately from the Game awards early and played this with my buds. It was a wonderful resurgence of having an excuse to play Hell Divers with. With people again and play zombie mode. It is very different than the other modes because zombies take, in my opinion, a little bit more bullets to put down and they're fast. So you have to constantly be running backwards while you're doing zombie mode. I think that you have to have almost a completely different setup up because I. In. In bug mode, I would really like Fire Breaker, Incendiary or something that basically lights them on fire. But because zombies have that extra bit of life, they essentially just run at you on fire and they can light you on fire. So fire isn't as effective. The best is just heavy bullet damage type guns or something that would even do knockback so that you can give yourself a little bit more space. So I had to completely change, change up what my build was. I essentially put everything into light armor that let me run because you need to be able to be very fluid. I use a jetpack again because it's really fun to jetpack over Hordes of zombies that are chasing after you. It's fun you guys. Like, I'm back in the Helldivers is a great game. It is, absolutely. It's just really kind of reinvigorated my love of playing games with other people and, and taking out hordes of mass people. And I, I, I've been adoring it. We played it until I don't know, like maybe like one or two in the morning as soon as I got back and everyone was like, oh, it's time for me to go to bed. And everyone was like, okay, I'm going to bed. And I kind of just hung out for a second as I was like getting ready to, to sign off and Peter Brown was like, you want to play Rocket League? And I was like, oh you son of a bitch. And at like 1:30 in the morning, Peter and I booted up Rocket League. And I played Rocket League for the first time in, I mean at least two years. And we played Rocket League until four in the morning.

[Dan]

Holy shit.

[Mary]

And I had, I had the best fucking time, you guys. And we just kept, we just kept playing. At first I was pretty shitty. I forgot like you have to, it's like riding a bike. Like I was like, like, I think I remember. But I couldn't fly, I couldn't defend very well. I, I wasn't very good at like being goalie. And then after about, after about an hour and a half I was great. I was killing it. We were winning all of our matches. And then right around 4am I started getting really bad.

[Mike]

Happens.

[Mary]

I had hit my peak. But what a fantastic experience to be able to play Helldivers and Rocket League again, which I actually think are similar. Right. They're all about teamwork and hanging out with your buds and then just taking out the other team if you can. But win or lose, you are having a good time. But they both allow for these moments of absolute grandeur where like I am the reason that we won. I personally saved the day. It will make you feel like main character energy. You are the hero in these games and I think that's why they both are such excellent culture co op experiences. So playing them both in a night was very meaningful to me and I just had a blast. We like, we've started a schedule to, to start doing them again weekly and it's just, it's great. So I'm back in on both. I think they're both Great Games, but Helldivers 2 for sure, I think they removed the zombie faction, but they just brought it back. So I believe you can play it right now.

[Dan]

Nice.

[Mike]

I'm gonna go back at some point with my, My brother is overseas at the moment, but he was the one I was playing with most. So when he gets back back, I'm. We're probably gonna dive in and no pun intended and see what's different.

[Mary]

Yes. Yeah. I'm still down to play it if you guys want to play it. It's just a, it's, it's, it's goatee for me. Like, it's just such a tremendous accomplishment of like every game. I'm like, this is a movie and I might die and sometimes I do and sometimes I'm the greatest that ever lived. It's great.

[Mike]

Dan, what's Castlevania Dominus Collection?

[Dan]

You don't know?

[Mary]

You keep doing this every time you have a new game. I'm like, what the is this?

[Dan]

What are you talking. It's a Castlevania collection.

[Mike]

Dominatrix collection Dominatrix.

[Mary]

What's Dominus?

[Dan]

It's. He's.

[Mike]

That's, he's getting to it.

[Dan]

It, it is the ds.

[Mary]

It's Dominus.

[Dan]

It's the DS game. I'm sure it means something in the cast. I don't give a Castlevania lore. Yeah, it's dawn of Sar. It's Portrait of Ruin and Order of Ecclesia. And the reason that this is so cool, like I love that the GBA collection came out, you know, a year or two ago because those are great games, but those are easy to play on a million different things. You know, they're GBA games, they're not complicated. Whereas like DS3DS games, you can emulate those for sure. You know, Wii U games, it just takes a little bit more because there's touchscreen controls and you have to do a lot of configuring and it's just like, it's more of a pain in the ass. So to have these all on like a one screen standard consoles with like workarounds for, you know, there's not a ton of touch based stuff in these DS games, just enough to make them a pain in the ass to emulate. So they just really streamlined a lot of that stuff so you're not having to like draw all these seals, you know, when you need to break these blocks and stuff. There's just ways to do it without having to fuck around with it too much.

[Mary]

There is quality of life improvements.

[Dan]

Totally. And you can do the rewind stuff. A lot of like emulation type stuff. You Just want to make life easier for you. But then there's just stuff that I didn't even think about where it's like, oh shit. These are four by three games. So you have the screen real estate. So they're putting like the map and enemy information and stuff over on the right. So like to play a castle, a Metroidvania game where you are live, seeing the map is so nice because you.

[Mary]

Can select instead of pausing. Yeah, that's a game changer actually for Metroidvania.

[Dan]

Yeah, I didn't even think about that. That's fucking great. And like if I go to attack like oh, this axe knight or something, it'll tell me like all what its weaknesses and strengths down there. So I'll like know on the fly like oh, let me switch to this soul or whatever. It's so it's just a really fantastic way to revisit these games that I've wanted to replay for a long time. I just didn't want to fuck with the touch control stuff. So yeah, I'm playing Dawn of Sorrow right now. That's kind of the follow up to Aria of Sorrow which I think is the best GBA one. It's just been awesome and this is a great way to play it. So yeah. Great. Steam deck, great. On Switch those if you like Symphony of the Night or just Metroidvanias in general. These are just some of the best ones and now you can play them very easily.

[Mary]

That's great.

[Mike]

Is what on Switch and Steam.

[Mary]

It's great. Yeah. I'm looking at the Steam page and it came out in August and it's got overwhelmingly positive reviews so people like have obviously been playing it but I'd never even heard of this new release. So that's very cool.

[Dan]

Oh, it's. It's good as hell and it's. It's one of those Castlevanias or at least Donna Sorrow that I'm playing where it's like your weapons and stuff are as you kill enemies, you know, there's drop rates of like their soul. So if you kill a bat there's a good chance you are going to get its soul, which you can map to a button and then summon a bat. Or if you get like a spear, the guy that throws spears, skeleton throw spears, you kill it, you get its soul and I'll just map that soul to this button and then I'm throw. I can, I'm spin a spear around.

[Mary]

So it's like you like Echoes of the Kingdom?

[Dan]

More about like enemy abilities than it Is like inanimate objects, you know.

[Mary]

Yeah. But you can echo an enemy well, right.

[Dan]

There are some that are like familiars, like the bat that will follow you around. But a lot of them are just like, you will take that weapon or you know, that guy threw an ax, so now I'm throwing an ax, that type of stuff. And then there's passive souls where it's like, oh, this just increases my strength or whatever. So you can really kind of set your soul set. You can. You know, there's just a lot of fun stuff you can do instead of just, I've got my sword and I just.

[Mary]

Yeah, it's just a battle of attrition. You can actually like have some strategy to it and, and, and mimic it. I also love the real estate. I remember when Zelda Wind Waker came out on the Wii U and what a game changer it was to have a secondary screen for the map. This reminds me that where it's just like, this is the way I wish it always was. Right. I just. This is the definitive version. I will no longer think about the other version. This is the better way to play the game. Would you say this is like the definitive version? Like you wouldn't go back and play the original?

[Dan]

Well, I mean it's. They were great portable games and like, you know, the DS did have those two screens. So you did have, you know, that same like Wind Waker type thing. Like, oh, I've got the map and my items and stuff down here and I've got the gameplay screen up here. So like it did have that, but there's just something about like I love that sprite art and everything and it's nice to played on like a big oled Steam deck screen or a switch. Like instead of just, you know, the DS was great at the time, but like it looks. And it looks better on a big screen.

[Mary]

Did they update the graphics?

[Dan]

No, no, no. I'm just saying it's just like the art is really great and I'd like to see it on a backlit oled, you know, Steam deck screen than a little DS screen, you know?

[Mary]

Yeah. Okay. Bigger.

[Dan]

Yep, yep. Just killer. Killer games.

[Mary]

Great.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What about Duck Detective?

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What is this?

[Dan]

I started that. Mary, was it you that told me about this?

[Mary]

I did. I played that on an earlier epis and talked about it. It's a lot like, what's that other game dorks like Golden Idol.

[Mike]

It's like, oh yeah, you did talk about this. I remember now.

[Mary]

My, my joke was like, Golden Idol is Like this person has been murdered and you're like solving it. And Duck Detective is like, where's my salami? Somebody's been stealing the salami. So you're solving someone stupid crimes.

[Dan]

Celebrate this receptionist birthday. And so she said this giraffe. Yeah, I'm a couple. Like I beat Rise the Golden Idol and I really enjoyed it and I just like that style of gameplay.

[Mary]

This one's like that for dummies. It's like a little like that.

[Dan]

Because by the end of Rise the Golden Idol, I was like, oh man, that's so many blanks I gotta figure out. And so the idea of just like, oh, I'm a little Duck Detective, just like divorced duck walking around trying to figure out why a giraffe divorce Duck.

[Mary]

Detective was a little too long. I think it should have been ductive. I think they up deductions are where you get. I know, I know. But they didn't call it ductive. They call it Duck Detective.

[Dan]

It's true.

[Mary]

Divorce Duck Detective.

[Dan]

It's just, it's cute. It's got good voice acting and stuff and it is just like. You're right, it is like Golden Idol Junior, you know, with a totally different type of tone. And yeah, I just, I was ready for more of that style of game and it's a simple one, but I've really been enjoying it.

[Mike]

They have like a noir soundtrack.

[Dan]

Yeah, it's very kind of noir. It's like the whole thing is just like this gruff, you know, like Duck that he's broke, you know, he can't afford rent and stuff and he's doing these kind of shady jobs and it's. It's a goofy story, but I like it.

[Mike]

It looks like a like paper cut out characters. Paper Mario style stickers.

[Mary]

Yeah, they are. Yeah. And the story is silly, but it is engaging. I don't know how else to describe it. Like, sure, the stakes are low, but you are. I was interested to figure out who was the bandit. I wanted to know. And um, it's very similar mechanically where it's like blank was the blank stealer and he used blank to get to the blank. And so you still have to figure it out. It's finding words in the scene and then putting them in the right order. I still got actually stuck a couple times towards the end of Duck Detective, which is sad because it's. I was just saying it's like the child version of Golden Idol, but I still ended up getting kind of stuck on Duck Detective at some point was like, I don't know, I don't get care, but it's the same problem I have with Golden Idol, which is I've solved it. I know what it's saying. I just couldn't put the words in the right order. It's like at some point it's semantics. And I get really frustrated with games that are essentially like, oh, well, it. It's not a purple hoodie. It was gray. And it's like, he's dead. Like, can we just say I solved the crime?

[Dan]

Yep. Yep. Yeah.

[Mike]

It's frustration. Yeah. It's annoying when you know, you understand the entire situation, but the game is just kind of like, no, but you need to play by our rules and get this exactly correct. That gets a bit frustrating.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Are you liking Silent Hill 2? You were liking Silent Hill 2 fair amount. But it was characters that were annoying you. Mary, is that character still annoying?

[Mary]

Is she was. She took a nap. I have a really short update because I've been playing this once a week. So I, you know, I'm still playing it. She has been taking a nap for the last last three hours, which is great. So I haven't had to deal with her. I got to a very wonderful part in the Original Silent Hill 2 Where you go down this essentially terrifyingly long staircase. And I got to that part in the new one. So anyone who's played Silent Hill 2 remembers there's just kind of this iconically long staircase that is obviously inspired by a lot of devs to say, like, hey, you're fucking going down to hell. Like, that is what's happening here. You are going downtown and this will be the thing that puts you into hell. And it's just ungodly long. The remake is. It puts a lot of love into that scene to make sure you still feel like you understand what's happening, which is you are in the longest staircase and it is about to get fucked and it is ungodly frightening. The further I've gotten in it, the more I have personally felt that Silent Hill 2 should have won the game of the year for audio design. Design. I think it is one of the best designed audio games of. Of recent years. And I just think a lot of times horror games do not get their due for winning awards because they're kind of written off like, oh, it's a remake and it's like a beloved horror movie. But like, whatever. This is unbelievable what they were able to accomplish with the audio. Even the backing tracks have breathing in them. So you always feel like someone could be in the room it is just a constant up like fear even as you're like solving a puzzle, which means you should be good for a little bit. They are putting like and weird noises throughout the entire track going back and forth underneath tunnels and stuff like that. You never feel safe in this game. It is just, it is a triumph of how, how frightening it will make you feel. I'm in the jail right now and it is, oh, what a horrible, horrible area to put, put a player in. I think it's the scariest game of the year and so an absolute triumph of, of scaring the shit out of me. And fully recommended.

[Mike]

I was going to say I forgot what one audio but it was Hellblade.

[Mary]

It was.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mary]

And I'm not saying like that didn't deserve it. I didn't really hear that game too much.

[Mike]

You shit on this game every episode and my God, stop kicking it while it's down.

[Mary]

Who cares? I just think like horror games don't often get their due. That's what I think I'm ultimately saying. Saying is like a lot of times I feel the same way with Resident Evil is like it usually gets nominated but it does not win because like they're like, sure, you deserve a nomination, like it's such a good game, but we're obviously going to give it to this, you know, RPG shooter with horny characters. And it's like, come on, like, these horror games deserve their due. All the rest of them.

[Mike]

Okay. Yeah, just the amalgam of all of them. Yeah, that's. I've just been playing Warhammer and metaphor long games.

[Mary]

Those are long games. Yeah, they take you forever. I mean, I've been playing Silent Hill for like six weeks now. Every time, every time we do our game list, I'm always like, I gotta put Silent Hill on there because I'm still playing it.

[Mike]

But I have to be getting Vinny Caravella update. Yeah, a lot of those where he would, you know, journal entry updates from his long form games.

[Dan]

Yep.

[Mike]

All right, you want to do some emails?

[Narrator]

Recently a new client called me and started by saying, Mr. Morgan, I really need your help, but I'm just a nobody. Those words stunned me and I immediately called him back and we're now helping him and his family after a terrible accident. I'm John Morgan of Morgan and Morgan. Everybody who comes to our firm at their time of need is a somebody. I grew up poor, but my grandmother was like a queen to us. At Morgan and Morgan, our goal is to level the playing field for you and your family. At your time of need, the insurance. The insurance company has unlimited money and resources. You need a firm who can fight them toe to toe. For right at 30 years, we have fought them in courtrooms throughout America. Our results speak for themselves. And always remember this. Everybody is a somebody and nobody is a nobody. Visit forthepeople.com to learn about our firm, Morgan and Morgan. For the people injured, visit forthepeople.com for.

[Dan]

An office near you.

[Narrator]

You.

[Mike]

Okay? As usual, you can write into fire escapecastmail.com with questions, comments, concerns, stuff you want us to read on potentially the next episode. We got a bunch since last episode, at which point we said send them in to get us through into the next few episodes. And I think we have enough now to last us all of 2025, but we're gonna. That's great.

[Mary]

That's great.

[Dan]

Yeah. People.

[Mike]

People got a lot in. Kick things off with this one from Joseph. Dan, do you want to read this first one?

[Dan]

Yes. What things in real life do you think are most like Charmander? I can't see. There's a thing. Okay. Charmeleon and Charizard. I can think of a duck, a goose and a swan. Or maybe Dave Franco. James Franco and Jared Leto. It doesn't have to just be living things, though. I'm interested in all forms of three stage evolution. Evolution. So wait, so I don't even know anything about.

[Mike]

It's just like an evolution. Charmander's like the most basic. And then Charmula is a middle one.

[Mary]

So, like, so an upgrade. And then a second upgrade.

[Mike]

I think an appropriate one for this is do candy bars. Because we've argued about this before. Like, to me, Charmander would be three musketeers. All it is, it's just nougat. And then after that it would be Milky Way.

[Mary]

What is it? Nougat.

[Mike]

Nougat. I got a new gat. It would be three musketeers. And then Charmeleon would be. Is it Milky Way? Just adds the caramel.

[Mary]

Yes. Oh, and then it would Snickers.

[Dan]

Oh, so it gets good on the third one.

[Mary]

Okay, I see they're all good.

[Dan]

Nope. 1 and 2 aren't good.

[Mary]

They're good.

[Mike]

Like. Okay. Fire escape. Who's Charmander? It depends on the criteria.

[Mary]

I take offense that Joseph said that Jared Leto was the final evolution because Jared Leto is a little.

[Dan]

But. But that's, like, good. The Francos kind of suck too. Like. Yeah. So that's an evolution of sucking, you know?

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It doesn't have to be good. It doesn't have to be improving. It just has to be like, what is the most?

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What is the most of this series? The most X of this series. And if it's Douchebag, then Jared Leto would definitely be Charizard.

[Mary]

Yeah, right, right, right.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mary]

That's true. It's like the final evolution of being a villain. Villain.

[Mike]

Yeah. Like, I could see, like. Yeah. For us three.

[Dan]

What?

[Mary]

You're the final form. I don't.

[Mike]

I didn't say. I didn't say that.

[Mary]

Just said I put it together.

[Dan]

We're too different to be evolutions of each other.

[Mike]

Yeah. But like, it's more fun if we did it anyway. It depends on the criteria.

[Mary]

And if we're going from like, you.

[Mike]

Know, it's not bad, but it is the most basic.

[Mary]

If it was like three Musketeers Sicko evolution, it would be me, Dan, Mike.

[Mike]

What?

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I'm not the charizard of sickos.

[Mary]

You are a sicko. What?

[Mike]

What makes me a sicko?

[Mary]

All of the horny jokes.

[Mike]

Dan's the one who pooped his pants the other day.

[Mary]

That's true.

[Mike]

Oh, that's why. Oh, yeah.

[Mary]

I love that you connect those, though. He's the one who poops his pants all the time. If anyone should be the horniest, it's Dan because he's always moving his pants. And that's horny as hell.

[Mike]

Do you guys not your pants every time you get horny?

[Mary]

I rest my case.

[Mike]

You ever. That's. That's why I can't go to strip clubs. I just.

[Dan]

My pants right away turn and leave.

[Mike]

Yep. After I stink up the joint. Yeah.

[Mary]

Like, what would be examples of this?

[Dan]

I know.

[Mary]

It's everywhere in advance. I know I'm not ready.

[Mike]

I know. But I like it more when you don't. Because then we stumble on it.

[Mary]

That I could switch my head with a bird and then fly. This is what happens when we don't read these in advance.

[Mike]

I know. And that's why. That's where you get the best. You get the best material from. I'm trying to think, like, what would. What would the. The evolution. The three stage evolution be for fast food and the criteria.

[Dan]

The final one, I think. And so I think, like, what's like a couple shittier McDonald's? Like, Carl's. I don't really have a lot of Carl's Jr. Arby's. Arby's is good, though. They're all kind of.

[Mike]

No, I got one. I got one, I got one.

[Dan]

I got one.

[Mike]

Do Do. Do the chicken spots. Do Popeyes, Chick Fil a and K. Kfc. Popeyes has got to be Charizard, right?

[Dan]

Well, whatever the smallest one is would be kfc, which I. I still love it.

[Mike]

I think that would be Popeyes and.

[Dan]

Then Chick Fil a and then Popeyes. Popeyes.

[Mike]

Oh, Charmander. Yeah, yeah.

[Dan]

Ultimate one. Popeyes.

[Mike]

Yeah, it checks out. What about sodas?

[Dan]

Oh, it's like RC Cola would be the first one. And then Pepsi and then Coke.

[Mike]

Now the creative juices are flowing.

[Dan]

Yeah. There we're going do.

[Mike]

Do cheesy pasta dishes.

[Dan]

I refuse.

[Mary]

I'm the final.

[Mike]

He's a man of principles. Yeah.

[Mary]

I am the final farm.

[Dan]

I've been burned too many times.

[Mike]

If we were doing the. The Italian dishes at that place we went, I think that. What was it? The pumpkin, the dual tortellini's. That would have been Charizard. What was it? Dual. Dual raviolis.

[Dan]

Oh, the doppio. Yeah.

[Mike]

Dopio. Yeah, that was really, really good. For those. For. For those who are wondering what the I'm talking about because it's has. I did not contextualize it whatsoever. We went to a place that Dan recommended and there was this one dish that was pasta.

[Mary]

Pasta.

[Mike]

Yeah. Two, like vertical raviolis that are still connected to each other. And then in one it was like a pumpkin filling and the other was.

[Dan]

Like a cream cheese, like a hazelnut type thing.

[Mike]

It's just the best.

[Mary]

But together they combined, which is exactly what this is meant to make us think about. I would also say because Dan is not strong enough, that Mac and cheese, maybe like blue box is probably like the original form.

[Dan]

Sure.

[Mary]

Correct. Yeah. I think when you get to like a Velveeta level, that's probably second form where it's like, okay, we've added a creaminess to it. It's not powder anymore. There's actual cheese in this. And then the final form.

[Mike]

I've got one. Sorry.

[Mary]

Might be okay. When you go to a festival and they have Mac and cheese balls fried on a stick, that's pretty good. It's like all of the cheesy goodness, it's on a stick and it's been deep fried.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mary]

They've. They've combined so many different forms of food that are for people who. Who want to hurt themselves and they put it in an easy, convenient, walkable form.

[Mike]

For nebbiolo, it would definitely be longe nebbiolo. And then Barbaresco, then Barolo. That's. That's an easy one.

[Dan]

Johnny Walker's. An easy one. You go from, like, red to black to blue.

[Mike]

Sanja vase would be just.

[Dan]

God damn it.

[Mike]

Normal Russo de Montepulciano. And then it would be Vinobit. No, Russo and multipel. Ciano is not sunder based. I am in embarrassed. Just regular Sanjavesa. And then it would be Chianti, and that would be Brunello. Or maybe Vino Nobili thrown in there.

[Mary]

Dan, you need to go to the bathroom.

[Dan]

Oh, sorry. I was trying to mute my mic.

[Mary]

Considering the morning you've had, I don't think you should be crying wolf right now.

[Dan]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

[Mike]

There. There's got to be, like, I don't want to do wrestlers, because then that wouldn't make any sense to me.

[Dan]

Yeah, there's definitely one of that. But, yeah, like, you know, I maybe like, stealth series where, like, you know, the ultimate would be Metal Gear. The middle one.

[Mary]

What about your cell? Your favorite 007.

[Mike]

Oh. Scenes with Zenya on the top in them.

[Dan]

Okay. Sonic is the ultimate evolution.

[Mike]

Oh, really? I would go. I would go.

[Mary]

It's got the crush.

[Mike]

I guess the basic one is when she just kills that dude.

[Dan]

Yeah. My crush is the first one. And then maybe the helicopter gun orgasm and then gun gasm. Yeah.

[Mike]

Or Gunsm. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. They all work. You know what I mean? Yeah, I would love to. I think she would. Come on.

[Mary]

What about the Bedazzled lady?

[Mike]

Oh, Elizabeth Hurley. Well, I mean, I think we could.

[Dan]

Do a ranking of just the Bedazzled gimmicks.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, There's. There's.

[Dan]

Oh, God.

[Mike]

What are they. Yeah, she's got the bikini with the snake.

[Dan]

Hurley.

[Mary]

Bedazzled Hurley.

[Mike]

Yeah, Bedazzled outfits.

[Dan]

Oh, the devil thing when she's behind the desk, that's. Oh, yeah. And sitting on the car, and then. Yeah. Wait, because he has more of the gimmick. She's just a devil all the time. Wait, no. She's like a teacher here. Oh, yeah, she got. Okay. The snake One. One. Yep.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Yep.

[Mike]

Oh, I have one. We should. We should put Famka Johnson and Elizabeth Hurley in, like, in a. In a ring.

[Dan]

Don't you dare.

[Mike]

What? What? What do you mean, don't I dare?

[Dan]

Can't pick a winner there.

[Mike]

I. I'm not saying I'd pick one. I'd say they would decide who wins. They'll fight.

[Dan]

No, they don't fight.

[Mike]

Oh, come on. Don't ruin this for me.

[Dan]

See, Mike's the biggest.

[Mary]

I'm telling you. He's the final evolution of sicko.

[Dan]

I agree.

[Mike]

I absolutely am. Maybe we'll come back if we come up with any other good ones. There's gotta be. There's probably some good ones.

[Mary]

But we have.

[Mike]

We have a couple of other questions. Keep that back of mind while we do these next questions. I'm going to do this one. Hey, fire people. Love the podcast. Haven't missed an episode in three years. And you are a light in a dark, dark world. I'm a man who likes to drink. I turned 21 a few years ago and don't feel embarrassed to order any drink I see in the menu. Alcohol is alcohol. It gets the job done. Some people, though, are overly critical about drink choice. For example, saying a type of whiskey or bourbon isn't a good choice, making fun of choosing white wines over red wines, calling different mixed drinks more masculine than others. And it makes no sense to me whatsoever. Mike is the CEO of wine, Mary is the Mike Tyson of verbal arguments, and Dan is the first to point out aromatic notes in a variety of craft beers. What My question for you three experts is what rebuttals do you have for people that shame drink choices? And what's an interesting drink I can order? So they think I'm better. Better than them.

[Dan]

I've always hated that. I remember the first time I went to a bar, I was like, oh, Zima sounds good. And of course it's like, oh, he's gay, it's a girly drink, or whatever. It's like, that's dumb as hell. Drink whatever the you want to drink.

[Mike]

I think you're giving yourself too much credit. I think you shame people for getting stuff that's considered too highbrow in your.

[Dan]

Sure, sure. Okay. So I do.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Dan]

No, no, not at all.

[Mike]

You're not as bad as him.

[Dan]

There was definitely a time I was like that. More with in every way with my dad. Yeah. I don't.

[Mary]

Pa Is the final form of shaming people for what they drink.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

One is if Paul is the Charizard of like low brow.

[Mary]

Who.

[Mike]

And Dan, let's say Dan, you would be Charmander. What's. Who's the Charon between you two?

[Mary]

A cigarette.

[Dan]

Hank Hill. I don't know. Cigarette with eyes and a mouth Dick that's just squint.

[Mary]

It's just a cigarette. Judging you with eyes and a dick.

[Mike]

You're better about this. And like to be. To be clear, I would rather someone be scoff at highbrow stuff than like.

[Dan]

Think something's beneath better Than someone. And, like, that's Mike. And I give back all our. For the craft beer stuff. Well, no, there's a difference there, because, Mike, you will have a bud light with me. I've done that a million times. And you. You don't look down your nose at all. I play a billion percent. Like, might as well drink a can of piss. You should just drink some piss because that's what you're drinking. Bud Lights piss.

[Mike]

Like, he's that guy when you were first really getting into hard seltzers, like, four years ago or whatever, and we were at his house. I think he was making fun of you for it.

[Dan]

Like, I got a white claw. He's like, yeah, piss can. Yeah, have a can of piss. Sure. Yeah.

[Mike]

B. Is a hipster.

[Dan]

Yeah, he is totally that craft beer guy. Like, for real. Yeah. So he is the look down on people. Mike, as much as we give you, you're not. You've never.

[Mike]

I'm. Dude, I'm not afraid to dive into the mud and frolic around a shotgun.

[Dan]

A beard. Yeah, it's. You're cool.

[Mary]

You roll around in the dirt like the rest of us.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, I love it. I'll dumpster dive. I literally ran into a bunch of trash cans and dove into them the first time Dan hung out in my neighborhood. 2019 here.

[Dan]

Yeah, I know. You're from the dirt.

[Mike]

Yeah, we. I. In terms of, like, things that people do to wine that a lot of people scoff at. Like, if you want to put ice in your white wine or rose fucking. Who cares? If. If you. If that makes you enjoy it more, then that's great for me.

[Mary]

That's a good example of.

[Mike]

As much as I do. I should. I should not. I should just want people to enjoy it more and maybe buy more of it and, like, drink it however they want. And if you want to have red wine with fish, it could probably be better if you had white wine fish. But whatever it. It's. You're ordering it.

[Dan]

I think I went to college in the early 2000s, and back then, it was just. You had to think about every drink because, like, everybody was so quick. Quick to be like, that drink. You ordering that drink means you are gay or a girl. Like, that was just all anyone said.

[Mary]

Absolutely homophobic as hell.

[Mike]

You'll be laughed out of a tavern.

[Dan]

Yeah, it was the worst. And, like, I would want to get, like, oh, this thing. Actually, like, I like the taste of this thing or this, like, green apple shot or whatever. Everyone's gonna call me gay. So, like, and so, like, that was a great thing. When you realize you get old enough, call me gay. Wait, who gives? That's their problem. And it's like, I drink the thing that tastes good, you know, I'm going.

[Mike]

To fucking swirl my wine. I'm going to stick my nose in it. I'm going to. And I'm going to flex.

[Mary]

Is to order the drink that you like and just be like that. Then fine. I'm. I'm super gay. I'm flaming, and I love, and I'm happier and I'm freer than you did. Honestly, the patriarchy is like the biggest chains in the world. I couldn't imagine not ordering what I want because someone would call me gay. That is so sad. Not just for the person who's ordering, that's afraid, but just for men in general, that you can't be yourself because someone is going to say that you're gay. And that. And that is, like, not good. It's like, who cares?

[Mike]

And the bar for it is just. Was so low, too. Like, if you got a martini, which I was not ordering martinis when I was young, but, like, now I know them to be a very strong, maybe in some ways masculine drink, but they would have made fun of me so much if I got a martini.

[Dan]

And I was like, I ordered a martini near my dad today. He was like, take a martini. Just drink a normal beer. Like a real guy, you know, Like.

[Mary]

A real guy, I think is like, ultimate toxic masculinity.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Energy. Yeah.

[Mike]

That's.

[Mary]

That's the final form as. Yeah. Your toxic masculinity is so sad. Yeah. I. So it says, like, what drink can you order? So people think. I was thinking, like, Mike, you were giving really good examples with. With wine. Right. With where you could put ice in it. And it's like, who cares? Um, for mixed drinks, I think it was always having a decent liquor, maybe like, Jameson, but then adding something to it that would take away how that liquor tastes. And so, like, a Jameson and Coke was something that people would make fun of me for because it's like, well, then you're not tasting the Jameson. You're tasting, like, a very sugary Coke or ginger ale or whatever it is. The mixer with a nice liquor is something that I got for when I was, like, in my early 20s, because I wanted something sweet.

[Mike]

Yeah. I mean, to answer the question, if there's something you could. If you were curious what you could order to make people think you're better than them. Martinis are very in style. Right. Now do you want to go a step further? Order a Gibson. If the bar even has cocktail onions, it's a martini, but with a cocktail onion instead. I fucking love them, but they're definitely a. Like they're past their prime for sure. Like they're a big like post prohibition era drink or. You know what I've been drinking lately? Every once in a while is a view.

[Mary]

I don't know what that is.

[Mike]

It's awesome. It's apparently used to be way more common. It's whiskey, brandy, and I love brandy. I'm forgetting maybe some bitters. I forget what the third one is, but it's kind of like a French old fashioned. But it like, despite the fact that it's French, I think it actually started as a pretty like speakeasy underground drink.

[Mary]

Probably something that you have to tell the bartender how to make it because it's so unique.

[Mike]

Really wanted to Alaska and Alaska would do the trick. A lot of bartenders do not know what that is. Alaska, it's just martini but with chartreuse instead of vermouth. And chartreuse is in short supply and kind of expensive right now in America. So that might make you look like informed. And then when they don't know what your Alaska, whether in Alaska is, you can make fun of the people they made fun of you.

[Dan]

I've been surprised because as I've gotten into cocktail making and stuff like that, one of the most common ingredients I've seen is orgeat, which is that almond syrup. And like I'll go into like big mellow drink and I'll ask, oh yeah, do you guys have orat here? And like some people that working at liquor stores won't know what it is. I'm like, is this like, Sorry, I.

[Mary]

Can'T hear you with that dick in your mouth. Can you please say that again?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, it's. Well, it goes by, I think fewer people, some people would not even recognize it as orat. They would just be like, oh, you want like D Serono? Yeah, we have tons of that.

[Dan]

Or that's a bit different, right?

[Mary]

They are.

[Mike]

It's a type of orat. It's an like, it's a type of orat. But it'll be.

[Dan]

You can buy orat that like, it's just the almond syrup that doesn't have the, the like, like a liquor content in it. Right? Because like I, I buy that off Amazon. You can't just buy like liquor off Amazon.

[Mike]

No, orgeot usually has alcohol. If you want to get like almond Syrup. I don't think it's Technically or until.

[Mary]

It'S bitters have alcohol in it. It's just such a low percentage that you can buy it.

[Mike]

You might. I mean, I might be wrong. I didn't think it's orgeat unless it actually was a liqueur as well. Otherwise, it's almond syrup.

[Dan]

Well, then all the stuff I've been using, this Torani Almond. Yeah. 25.

[Mike]

It'll do the same thing flavor wise, but. But I don't know. I completely could be wrong. I just didn't think it was orgeat if it's zero alcohol.

[Dan]

Yeah. The stuff I buy on Amazon is just. Yeah. Almond, orgeat syrup. Tarani. No alcohol.

[Mary]

I haven't heard the word orgeat more in my life.

[Mike]

It's a fun word, and it is to say orgiet. And then I heard someone say it correctly. I'm like, oh, man. I think the lowbrow one here.

[Dan]

You corrected me, Mike.

[Mike]

Yeah, I don't think I corrected you. I don't think I should go.

[Dan]

Not a shitty one.

[Mary]

I guess sicko goes to orgiat over here.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Or maybe just heard you say, you might have just said it correctly. And I was like, oh, okay.

[Mike]

I'll make it say I. For all the, you know, the times I play up the highbrow stuff, I make it a point to never just outright correct someone, because I hate that guy.

[Dan]

I will 1000% back you on that. Like, yeah, you're actually really good about that.

[Mary]

Yeah. Yeah. And everyone who said that it was Ballotro can suck my dick. I don't care. First of all, I'm not doing that. Second of all, shut up. I don't care. I'm not dealing with you right now.

[Mike]

Wait, is that how it's supposed to be said?

[Mary]

I don't care.

[Dan]

No one does it.

[Mary]

I will never say it that way. I refuse to answer the question.

[Dan]

It's.

[Mike]

I didn't. I mean, I know it's Italian. Technically, I didn't know if, like, there's a. I mean, I don't speak Italian.

[Mary]

So I wouldn't have, like, an anger associated with it. I'm not learning.

[Mike]

It rolls off the tongue so much.

[Mary]

Rolls off the tongue.

[Mike]

Yeah. And I think about. Yeah.

[Mary]

My dad, when he ordered drinks, he told me one of his favorite drinks when he was in college was a Harvey Wall banger. Which name? I think it's fun, it's good, and it's a very classic drink. It's vodka orange juice, but it has A little bit of Galliano in it, which is kind of that like black licorice. Tasty. So it's not for everybody. Yeah, it gives you a little bit of a twist on the classic screwdriver. Screwdriver. Thank you. And a lot of bartenders will be like, well, Harvey Wilbanger. It sounds so familiar, but they won't know. But I think it's a flex to go into a bar and say I want a Harvey Wall Banger. Because when the bartender knows they've obviously, they're obviously a drinker and has been in the game for a long time because it's an old school drink. I think it's a classy looking drink. But let's be real here, it's just vodka orange juice, which gives you that sweetness. It's totally fair. I, I think that you'd be hard pressed for someone to make fun of you for ordering a Harvey Wall Banger also. It sounds cool.

[Mike]

Yeah, it sounds. I also will say two other things this reminded me of. A bartender at a pretty prestigious cocktail bar in New York said that they include photos of what the drink is going to look like in the glass. Because every once in a while a like guy who was maybe there on his first date or something will kind of complain when you bring it to it. Bring it to him in like a feminine glass, you know, like a long stem glass with like some flowers in it and stuff. And I was like, they care that much. Like, dude, they'll send it back and ask you to put it in a different drink or like in a tumbler glass or.

[Mary]

I think that happens all the time.

[Mike]

And this is like a, this is a, like well known, like world, like prestigious cocktail bar. And even they have to deal with like douche.

[Mary]

The patriarchy run so deep in our society you can see it fudgeing everywhere. The idea that the vessel in which your drink comes in could maybe make you gay is because it's too phallic of a glass. Yeah, it is so sad to me. And I actually, I pity people who like bullied whoever I like. Just going back to Nathan here, like that is, that is more of a reflection on the people that are making fun of you than it ever is of like whatever you have ordered. And I think it is a really sad reflection of someone who think. Who wants to make sure that no one thinks they're gay by saying like, hey, whatever you order, I am, I am observing it with great interest so that I can ensure everybody knows how supermanly I am. Because if I see Anything gay news me, I'll come for you. Yeah. That is sad. That is a. That is a restricted person who, like, cannot be free.

[Mike]

Yeah, but yeah, I mean, as Nathan or as we already said, like, if you have a friend who's like giving you shit for stuff like that, and it's not just a bit, and it's an ongoing thing, then, oh, maybe they need to get some stuff off their chest.

[Mary]

Order them a semen spritzer.

[Mike]

Yeah, that'd be great. And ask the bartender for the real thing. They'll know what you mean.

[Mary]

They'll know.

[Dan]

That's a great thing about getting older is that you just be so selective with like, okay, I'm not gonna have anyone in my life that's doing that type of versus, like, you're living in the dorms, you're going to parties, and it's like, well, this is the crew that's around me. And it's like, wow. A lot of them are, you know, it's like, you don't have to deal with that when you get older. We.

[Mike]

I had this conversation with Amanda the other day. I was like, I don't. I. I mean, I think we have exercised all of the, like, those people out of our life completely. And like, looked. We looked around the other day. We're like, we really genuinely love all the people we hang out with.

[Mary]

That's wonderful. I think that's also an evolution, right? Like, maybe your first stage of friendship is like, hey, I'm in middle school. Whoever's around me, I hope they like me because I'm very sensitive. I am a baby. And then the second evolution of that is college, which is like, I know a little bit about myself, but I also desperately want to be liked by you. And the final stage is somewhere around mid-30s where you're like, I actually don't give a flaming anymore about anything. I'll cut you out so fast because it's my comfort and my happiness is. Is pure. And I think that is like the ultimate victory.

[Mike]

Y. Yeah. Oh, Charmander. Charmeleon. Charizard. It would be old fashioned. Uhhuh. A Sazerac.

[Mary]

Okay.

[Mike]

And then a V is the Charizard. Some people might argue the Sazerac is the Charizard. I could. I would hear that out. I would hear them. All right.

[Dan]

Argue with him.

[Mary]

You are so gay.

[Mike]

God damn. What else you look like come back. As I reach over my, like, dick shaped glass.

[Dan]

I'm not.

[Mike]

No, I'm not. Oh, yeah, I love.

[Dan]

Oh, I knew that guy in College.

[Mike]

Yep. 20 of those guys slamming ass left and right. All right, Barry, you want to read this one from Zephyr?

[Mary]

Yeah, got you.

[Mike]

I. I did Zephyr. I did cut out a bit just for time constraints, but I left the spirit intact.

[Mary]

Cool. I know. Exactly. This is. Hi. Fire escape team. This is Zephyr from Mary's Merry Monday Twitch streams. How cool. Thank you for. I think I told you to do this. This is very cool. People who watch me play Silent Hill right now on my Monday streams ask me questions, and I said, that's a fire escape question. Send it in. They also said something really nice about Knievel, which I think is worth mentioning. Create gaming stream of my own called crossing chords on YouTube. It ran for four years, and it was an absolute blast. I think that's really great. Knievel. Not only. I'm glad it inspired you, it actually inspired us in many ways to make this podcast. One of the things is, like, Mike and Dan were very close from working, especially in the New York office. You guys got really close. But what made Mike and I very close was Knievel. We worked in the office together, like, everybody does. We all have, like, work companions and friendships, but it was Knievel. I think that's, like, when we really learned and tested our friendship. It's like where we had our first fight.

[Mike]

Oh, we tested it.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Yeah, it's where we had our first fight. It's where we, like, really kind of bonded and learned to trust each other to a certain degree. Knievel is kind of like where it all started. I think without Knievel, this podcast would not exist, and probably not.

[Mike]

We were out all the time together, but, like, in terms of, like, professional creative endeavors. Yeah. I think we learned where we can definitely push each other a bit too much. Maybe not these days, but at that time, I was more of a hothead.

[Mary]

Yeah. And I'm a button pusher. There's no question. I mean, I know I've learned boundaries from our friendship, where I've recognized that I will almost say anything from. For a laugh. And it is. I. It has happened multiple times in my life where my friends have said, hey, you actually hurt my feelings. And I'm like, ooh, I need to fucking sit down.

[Dan]

You have said so many awful things about me, and I've never had my feelings hurt once. I think it's.

[Mary]

I know, Dan, you are very patient. I think we're both patient with each other. I'll say that because you're actually a real son of a bitch. I have said some vile things to you this year. I do believe that you've earned them. But I.

[Mike]

Sticks and stones.

[Mary]

You could have messaged me on the side and been like, actually, that was very rude and possibly too, too personal. And you've never done it.

[Dan]

Have never even considered it for a second.

[Mike]

No.

[Mary]

Everyone have a smile on your face.

[Dan]

Yeah, like, that's a good one.

[Mary]

Say something.

[Mike]

I think I've done it once.

[Mary]

Human soul. I threatened to kill your dog during game of the year. He handled it really well. And the next morning, as we were like, packing up our. I said, hey, I'm sorry I threatened to kill your dog. You know I would never kill your dog, right? And Dan was like, doc, don't even mention it. He help me. Help me get in my Uber and everything. And I was like, I'm really sorry I threatened to kill your dog.

[Dan]

Mary, I still think about you're not important enough to be this annoying. I think that is one of the most perfectly crafted insults I've ever heard in my entire life.

[Mike]

That's really good.

[Dan]

Fantastic.

[Mary]

It's a really brutal one. I heard somebody else write in and say like that earlier. We had someone write in and say, your soul is cat piss is now in my lexicon. And I think that that's also really sweet that other people have found my insults to you not only tantalizing and brutal, but something that could actually be utilized in their everyday use and to them, like, go forth and prosper.

[Mike]

You're like the Tony Hinchcliffe of fire escape, is what I always say.

[Dan]

Oh, nope.

[Mike]

Mary is not you. She's the insult comic. Yeah.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You're the roast specialist.

[Mary]

Yeah, I love that.

[Mike]

I'm the really, like, cerebral intelligent jokes of the podcast.

[Mary]

No, you're a prop called comic. You're Carrot Top.

[Mike]

What if I used a prop?

[Dan]

I'd probably as I hide all Gallagher.

[Mary]

Yeah, you just have like $8.

[Mike]

I don't know what who I am. Yeah, yeah. People always say I'm like a mix of Bill Burr, a bit of George Carlin.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Some Eddie Murphy in his prime. Yeah. All the great. All the big ones.

[Mary]

All the hits say that about.

[Mike]

Did we finish the question or no?

[Mary]

Anyway, no, on to the question. During Mary's stream last night, I asked a question she thought would be good for. For the podcast. Is that is exactly what happened. What is the cruelest thing you have encountered in a game? Just a total dick move by the developers. For example, she was in the middle of Silent Hill 2 remake and opening a complicated Box involving multiple locks with keys scattered around. She finally opens it and the box is empty. And I did. I looked right into the camera and was like, that is a real like son of a bitch move to make me go through all of that for an empty box and anything else. Zephyr. Thank you, Zephyr.

[Dan]

I. I got a good one. Okay. The. The Korok seeds in Breath of the Wild. The reward being a golden piece of. That does nothing. Yeah, it's the craziest question. Like 900 things you have to get and you assume it's got to be a master sword you can surf on across the land.

[Mary]

Like an unbreakable sword.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a fierce deity mask that. Yeah, no, it's a golden piece of that. You can't do anything.

[Mike]

What do they actually call it? Like what is its item name?

[Dan]

I forget.

[Mike]

Yeah, I don't talk about that.

[Dan]

So fucking funny.

[Mike]

The. I guess anything like dark fromsoftware does that often. Especially like, I feel like the first time I. Because if you're talking like the evolution of Dark Souls, you can't not start with demon souls. Demon souls did some of that. But it was really sense. Fortress and Dark Souls where they could tell when you're on your last legs and you're out of flasks and then all of a sudden this boulder just comes out of nowhere down a stairs stairway and smashes into you and you're dead. They do that all the time. And it's just like the game is too well crafted for me to. I get pissed, but it's just really fucking funny as well.

[Dan]

Is it Ocarina, the fire temple where there's those doors where it just looks like a normal door and it just falls on you.

[Mike]

No. Yeah, it like headbutts you and wobbles. Yeah. There's a lot of Zelda stuff or like. Like even metaphor does. The monsters that are living in treasure chests that then come out and fuck up your whole party.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[Mike]

Like Arcane does that a lot in like prey, the mimic stuff. Or they'll just put explosive barrels all around this one thing that you need to get to very carefully in a tense situation.

[Mary]

Disrespectful to. I'm trying to think of like a nice old school example. I think that culturally one of the biggest, biggest ones was Mass Effect of like having a game franchise that was all about choice. And then the final game had basically three very red, green, similar ends. And so I think that was a bit of defeatist to have A game that was all about story and then just not have that. That matter. I think.

[Mike]

Yeah. That was more they up.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Than like. Like they were messing. Yeah. Messing with you. But I. It is. But I mean, I think Zelda does that a lot. It's like, oh, look at this great item you got. And it's just like a wooden stick.

[Dan]

Yeah. Like not so triumphant, you know.

[Mike]

Yeah. Wind Waker did stuff like that often. There's from software just all over it. Like Elden Ring does that a lot. You'll do a really difficult dungeon. And then the rewards, like, they have to know this sucks.

[Dan]

Even like Link to the Past where it's like, oh, this thing hits you and then you're a fucking bunny that can't do anything. It's like, oh, great. This is fun.

[Mike]

You know, it's like the beginning of indie when that dude ditches you and then he runs through and it turns out he just got speared.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, it's shit like that where you think you're out and then all of a sudden you're. They fuck you up. But yeah, there's definitely. I enjoy when developers can pull that off because like, usually they. It's in a game that is so well crafted otherwise that it works. It's funny and not actually frustrating.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Yeah. I would think that Metal Gear would do that to the player. Does that ever happen in Metal Gear where it's like setting you up for a big thing, then it's like, ah, go fuck yourself.

[Dan]

There's fun. Oh, yeah. There's stuff where it's like. I think it was in the old ones where you would get an item, but it would have like. Like a snake in it or a worm. Like you'd get like, I'm getting this wrong. But it's like you get an apple and it would have like a worm in it or something and it would go through and eat all of your rations and eat all of your health items until you realized it was doing that and you threw it out. Metal Gear Solid does that where you get something and there's a bomb on it. So like, you don't even know until you hear this beeping and you look through your image. What the is that? Oh, the thing I picked up has a bomb in it. You got to throw it out. Like, yeah, there's some fun stuff like that. Yeah. Anytime it does the Fourth Wall type stuff where like, you know the. The Sorrows river in Metal Gear Solid three, where you have to like, basically just kill yourself. And at the game over screen. You have to revive yourself. Like, weird stuff, stuff like that.

[Mary]

Yeah, I'm trying to think of other ones that are just, like, massive use. I'm sure there's even achievements that are also fuck yous, right, where it's just like a waste of time achievement, or like, you wasted your life trying to get all these pieces and bits and bobs, and it's just like, we know that you've put way too much time into this game, so.

[Mike]

All right, well, thank you, Zephyr and Nathan and Joe Joseph. All right, well, that's our last episode of 2024, episode 97. We're three away from 100. We got to start making plans for that. We've got some talk, but we gotta. We'll do something.

[Dan]

It's a fun gimmick for fun. Yeah.

[Mary]

Yeah, we have to have a gimmick.

[Mike]

Absolutely. It's been a good year. What were your favorite, Dan? What was your favorite fire escape moment? Can you remember from 2024?

[Dan]

It's always just such a blur. I mean, but the thing that always stands out is the game of the year, like, having you guys here and, you know, just the way we cram so much fun stuff into just, like, a short weekend where, you know, we get some nice dinners, like the Tyson fight. This time was a nice thing to be timed with that. And then just hanging out, you know, sitting on the deck, making a fire dog.

[Mike]

That was a fun tradition. I look forward to it every year now.

[Dan]

Yeah. Yeah, it's really good. So that. That stands out.

[Mike]

We got to go to Portland this year, too.

[Dan]

Yes. Yes.

[Mary]

That was special for me because much like Mike's party last year, I think it's very special for us to. To do something that actually isn't about the podcast or about our jobs, but just about seeing each other and reminding each other that we actually like each other's company. And we like spending time with each other, and I like spending time with your partners, and it's just kind of great to. It is always wonderful. No matter what the excuses, whether it's the podcast, whether it's game of the year. I love seeing you, but I think the most special is when it's like, do you guys just want to come to Portland and see this crazy double waterfall with me? And you're like, yeah. Yes.

[Dan]

We're all good about, like, knowing what trip. Like, if we're doing a trip, like the New York meetup thing. And so, like, that's a fire escape trip. We're making content. We're Doing side stuff for the Patreon. But then there's ones, too, where it's like, this is a friend trip. You know, this is like, we don't even, like, consider, like, let's squirrel away and make a podcast or whatever. Like, I think it's important and what we do to draw those lines.

[Mary]

We didn't even take a photo. There's only one photo of us from the Portland trip, and I actually don't know whose camera camera it's on, but it's at night, and we're at a fire, and Dan is wearing nothing but a towel. And it's a robe.

[Mike]

There's a row.

[Dan]

Trunks on. No, I had a robe.

[Mike]

Let me pull it up.

[Mary]

You could just be laying out dong at any time, but you can't show.

[Dan]

It looks weird because we all got out of the pool, and then we said, oh, we're gonna go sit by the fire. And so I grabbed a beer, I went by the fire like we said, and you guys went back and changed. Change. So all of a sudden, you guys are wearing normal ass clothes. I'm in, like, towels or a robe with swim trunks underneath. There's no dong risk there. But I just. It looks weird in the photo. Me just full on, you know, that's.

[Mary]

Why it never came out.

[Dan]

It's because it looks like I'm just being weird.

[Mary]

It looks like you're just naked for some reason and everybody else is clothed.

[Dan]

There are full swim trunks on underneath. I'd risk no dong slippage.

[Mary]

There's no proof.

[Dan]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

My God. My camera cannot take.

[Dan]

Crystal clear. Yeah.

[Mary]

Can I send it it out? Send it to me.

[Mike]

Is that doing anything? Why is it still focusing on me? What is my camera? I need a new camera.

[Mary]

Send it. Send it to me.

[Mike]

And you can't see it. You can't tell from the photo, but my. My shirt pocket and a lot of creases in my clothes are full of goldfish because Dan kept filling my creases with goldfish.

[Dan]

I forgot about that.

[Mike]

Like, fat shirt, pocket of goldfish. There's all four of us.

[Dan]

Okay. Nice.

[Mike]

One of these days, did I change.

[Dan]

At that point, or am I still just wearing.

[Mike]

You're now you change in the marine layer. Sure, I think.

[Dan]

Okay.

[Mike]

Look at Simone right there. You can't see it.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's been a fun year. It was a busy year. I'm looking forward to next year. I don't have to travel nearly as much for leisure stuff, so I get to just hang out more. I'm hoping I Mean, I'll be traveling for work.

[Dan]

I don't know if I lined up for early in the year. I think I actually might just be able to be home for a while. That'll be nice.

[Mike]

Yeah. I hopefully soon will have my full Irish citizenship and thus EU citizenship. I think I'm at the final step based on stuff I've read. Now I just have to fight a leprechaun and then beat him and then I'm a citizen.

[Dan]

Excellent.

[Mike]

Going to Ireland, I think in the spring, maybe early summer. Nice. Maybe get even more annoying about wine. That's my New Year's resolution. Yeah. You guys will love it.

[Dan]

You should text my dad more.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Dan]

I've been about wine.

[Mary]

About wine.

[Mike]

Me and him talk about wine a lot.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It would really brighten his hotel room to have some vino.

[Dan]

Oh, my God. Just. Just wine and cigarette smoke.

[Mike]

I want to get the hotel address and his room number and send him bottles of wine.

[Dan]

Oh, God, he would hate that.

[Mary]

I know he would hate that. Maybe it'll. It'll be what propels him to go get a house. He has to get out. He has to get out of this space.

[Dan]

And then he sells. Sells that house to keep you from doing that.

[Mike]

Yes. He goes into a bunker.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Which I've already stocked with wine.

[Dan]

That's the. That's the Pokemon evolution of fall record. Living Situations is. Bunker is the last one.

[Mike]

I'm going to advertise a bunker that someone can live in and purposely get him to move in. It turns out just my wine cellar.

[Dan]

You live there?

[Mike]

Yeah, if we both do. Mary, what do you have going on outside of the show of ours?

[Mary]

Trying to finish. Finish.

[Mike]

Silent Hill 2.

[Mary]

I almost tried to say Portal. Silent Hill 2. I don't know where Portal came from.

[Mike]

They're very similar. Same developer.

[Mary]

Yeah. Same quirky humor. Anyway, I'll probably try and finish Silent Hill 2. And because it's usually I like to have a game while I'm on break, I need to actually find the game that I'm going to pour lots of hours into into to beat before it usually is a Zelda. Because, you know, you could just put mad Hours into a Zelda and enjoy it, but I don't have a backlog of a Zelda that I need to get through. So I'm actually not sure what my Christmas break game should be.

[Dan]

Where are you at with Mario stuff?

[Mary]

I like the Mario. I think I'm more of a Metroidvania person. Is like my favorite place to be.

[Dan]

But I love you Played Metroid Dread.

[Mary]

Was that the remake?

[Dan]

That's the Switch.

[Mike]

There's new.

[Mary]

Oh, I haven't. Wait, sorry. It was. But it was a remake of the original.

[Dan]

No, it's original. No, you're thinking Zero Mission. They have done remakes, but they did Metroid prime remastered. But this is Red is a brand new one.

[Mike]

This is the Switch specific new one.

[Mary]

I think that could be good for me.

[Dan]

Oh, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that.

[Mary]

Okay, let me. Let me look it up on the switch because yeah, I usually. I take my Steam deck everywhere, so it's kind of weird to be like dusting off ye olde Switch. I haven't. I haven't looked at that in four years. Like I forgotten what it even is.

[Dan]

I got my year in review stuff from all the big platforms. It's like I barely touched the thing this year.

[Mary]

I don't know what it is. It's so outdated. It just has no value anymore.

[Mike]

Dan, what do you have going on?

[Dan]

Holiday stuff. But yeah, I'm Blue Sky, Instagram Twitch. I do think, yeah, looking like next year, early next year I might be able to stream a little more frequently. So, yeah, hoping to take a little easy after a very busy year.

[Mary]

I played Dread. God damn it. What I was gonna say.

[Mike]

I feel like we talked about it.

[Mary]

I played the out of this game. It's really good. It has really fun boss fights. The last boss fight is like such a small. At some point I was like, I don't know if I want to beat this anymore. What else do you got for me?

[Dan]

Trying to think games from recent. I mean, are you up for going old?

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Interesting. Okay, so now I usually played Zelda.

[Mary]

Like old school Zeldas, but I think I've caught up. I don't know if there's any Zeldas I haven't played anymore.

[Dan]

I would say Snake Eater if there wasn't a remake coming out soon, obviously got Resident Evil taken care of.

[Mary]

I always like looking for like a hidden gem that you could just pour like 30 hours into.

[Dan]

Okay. I'm looking at my top 100 games of all all time and we're find one here. Okay.

[Mary]

All right, thank you.

[Mike]

Start at one and go down until she hasn't played one.

[Dan]

Okay, well, I mean Mario game, it's going to be a lot of old stuff.

[Mary]

It's all Mario.

[Dan]

All right, here's my top 100 games of all time. Okay, here's the list. We're going to start from the top. Breath the wild link to the Past.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Okay. Mario World, Metal Gear. Solid Soul caliber. You know, some of these.

[Mary]

I've never played any. Not Mario, the other one.

[Dan]

Metal Gear.

[Mary]

I've never played a metal. I've never played a Metal Gear.

[Dan]

Do you know the story at all?

[Mike]

I know that nobody knows the story.

[Mary]

Nice try.

[Dan]

I. Kayla just went through all them for the first time and.

[Mary]

What else you got?

[Mike]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Mary]

What else you got?

[Mike]

Let me caveat that I think I would be very interested to see what. Okay. I guess if you play the. The Blue Point collection, then the controls are a bit more bearable.

[Dan]

Collection thing. Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. I'm assuming that's what Kayla played.

[Dan]

Yeah, she played the master collection.

[Mike]

Yeah. Okay, never mind.

[Dan]

Do you play Link between Worlds, mary? The. The 3Ds Zelda.

[Mike]

Do you go into paintings? There's like a two dimensional.

[Mary]

I started it. I don't think I finished it.

[Dan]

Which is odd one. It's very, very good.

[Mary]

Okay. I don't know why I didn't finish.

[Dan]

It quite a bit. It's. It's really, really, really good. I have a lot of. Got old games on this list. Weird.

[Mike]

Play total war, warhammer 3.

[Mary]

What else you got?

[Dan]

You can finish resident 4 remake.

[Mary]

What else you got?

[Dan]

Yep. NES and Super Nintendo games. These are very old.

[Mike]

Mary. We should finish Resident Evil 4 remake sometime soon.

[Mary]

Dude, that's on you. Why is that on me? You're the busier one.

[Mike]

No, I'm not busier than. Than you are.

[Mary]

Yeah, I think we're both equally busy, but we got.

[Mike]

We should.

[Mary]

Let's finish.

[Mike]

I'm away this week.

[Mary]

I'm. I'm free next week.

[Mike]

Okay. I should be as well.

[Mary]

All right, let's finish it. Dan, Name me more games.

[Dan]

I looked at my entire list and they're just all very old. I don't know if they're the ones you want to go for right now.

[Mike]

Play like. Play like Bloodstained, if you like. Metroidvania.

[Dan]

Bloodstain's awesome. That's a really good one. Yeah.

[Mary]

Okay.

[Dan]

I really think God Metal, you'd be so fun to hear you talk about.

[Mike]

I don't know if you would be able to stomach a lot of the, like, dated design stuff, but that's interesting to hear about. Yeah, it is, but I just don't even know if Mary would fight through it.

[Mary]

I don't think I would. I've played. I've played Ritual of the Night.

[Dan]

That's the one. That's the main one.

[Mary]

Okay. I've played that. It's so Good. The evolutions of the character are crazy. All right, I'll keep thinking and then I'll let you know the next time we record what game I poured 40 hours is into.

[Dan]

You play the Mario Galaxies?

[Mary]

I mean, I've played Mario Galaxy. Is there more?

[Dan]

There's Galaxy 2, which is better. Oh, very, very good. Maybe that'd be kind of. You'd have to pull out a Wii for that.

[Mary]

A little forgettable. Yeah.

[Dan]

I think Metal Gear is right there. People would love hearing your thoughts on Metal Gear.

[Mike]

No, no, because that would feel too much like a project, I think. I don't know if you.

[Dan]

It is a lot.

[Mike]

It's.

[Dan]

There's. It's so, so dense.

[Mike]

Although I have been thinking about replaying Phantom Pain lately.

[Dan]

I've been thinking about doing Peace Walker.

[Mike]

Oh, interesting. Phantom Pain, though, like, has that first like 10 hours that could be a slog. But then once you're in the like open world gameplay loop, then it's great.

[Mary]

What's the final evolution of Metal Gear? Which game?

[Mike]

I would say four.

[Dan]

Just kind of ties everything together. I mean if the evolution of gameplay it's 5, but as far as just the Metal Gear and everything, honest, it's four.

[Mike]

I think I'd say Snake Eaters, Charmeleon, and then Charmander would be the first game.

[Mary]

I wonder if Slime Rancher got better. Maybe I'll just pour 40 hours into some kind of cozy ranch game. Yeah, that sounds awesome.

[Mike]

Stardew just dropped another update like last week.

[Mary]

Did they though? Because now they just release updates, but it's the same game and you're just like. But you can in it and it's just like, I don't care. Like, what, what else do you got?

[Mike]

That's the one that brought me back.

[Dan]

Do you ever play Bully?

[Mary]

I've never played Bully.

[Dan]

Bully's really good. Okami. There's HD versions of that.

[Mary]

I've played Okami.

[Dan]

Okay, Okay.

[Mary]

I was proud of beating. I beat that way late in my life. But I have, I have completed Okami. It's great.

[Dan]

Paper Mario Thousand Year Door.

[Mary]

I don't think I've done Paper.

[Dan]

They got that remake and it's on.

[Mary]

They got that remake and it's, it's really.

[Dan]

It's still very funny, I think. Mary.

[Mary]

But isn't it an RPG?

[Dan]

It is. And you know, I don't like RPGs, but the charm and the gameplay, like the turn based stuff is very good. I know, I know. Like I. I don't like RPGs either, but this is a good one.

[Mike]

All right, let's offline the rest of this. You got, you got suggestions?

[Mary]

We're not done yet.

[Dan]

No, I'm still scrolling through giant lists of games.

[Mike]

Great radio. But anyway, thank you to everybody. Just backtracking a bit. You can go to Fire right into Fire. No, that game is not that great. Fire escapecastmail.com writing questions. Also, if you're not a patron and you want to get ad free episodes or video versions, you can go to fire escapecast.com that'll take you to our Patreon. You can also just treat it like a tip jar if you appreciate what we do and want to contribute. Patreon money is what makes the game of the year possible every year. And never too early for us to start saving up for that. That trip. But for the people who have been patrons for a while, people who've just been listening for a while, thank you so much as we close out another year. It's been crazy that we have done 97 episodes considering we're a bi weekly show. That's quite a long time now. Looking forward to 25. 2025. No, not Shenmue. These are all terrible suggestions. Replay Outer Wilds Mary. They had the new DLC. They have like the. They have like 12 hours of new kind content in that two years ago the DLC that came out. I forget what it was called.

[Mary]

I think I would like to replay Outer Wilds. Like what a fantastic game.

[Mike]

I think I've forgotten enough about the intricacies of the puzzles that it would still be a bit like discovering.

[Mary]

I think you would have to replay.

[Mike]

I remember how you eventually have to get to the final area. I don't think that I'll ever forget that. But there's minutia on different planets that I have left my memory. Yeah, you go to fire escape merch.com if you wanna. If you wanna get. We don't have bumper stickers yet that say fuck my way out of heaven, but we'll get there. That's fire escape firescapemerch.com Anyway, that's our episode. We'll be back in 2025 at this point.

[Dan]

TimeSplitters 2. Oof.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's on. I believe that's Xbox Arcade.

[Mary]

I played Titan Crisis too. I loved it also.

[Dan]

Good game. Game. Yeah.

[Mike]

All right, well I'm going to cut this off cuz I'm getting annoyed.

[Dan]

Pikmin.

[Mary]

Which one? I played the latest.

[Mike]

We'll be back on episode 98. Thank you so much everybody. We'll See you then. Sean, cut this off. Here. I'm waiting.

[Dan]

Played for Jade Empire.