
Mary spent her entire holiday vacation playing a game that the guys definitely didn't recommend.
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Mary
I played a game over break and I can't remember the name of it. And my Switch is out of battery. And you know how you can't turn on your Nintendo Switch until it has like 10% battery? So I just literally don't think I can talk about it. Because I don't.
Mike
I mean, this is the intro. Make up a name of the game right now. Switch. While you're switching charges. Get in there.
Mary
It was like black and white and there was like a cat and it was kind of blob like. And it was a platformer with like some puzzles. So I'm gonna call it.
Mike
Oh, wait, I just saw. I just saw this on like Steam.
Mary
No, you did not.
Mike
I promise you I did. Hold on.
Dan
Black and White Cat. Where you solve puzzles. And it's a platformer. No, it is my magic hat. Cute, cute. Cat puzzle platformer.
Mary
I don't know.
Mike
Oh, I see it. Right.
Dan
Umbrella. Umbrella Adventure. The Castle of Cake.
Mike
No, it's right here. End zone two.
Dan
End zone.
Mike
That's not it. Star Wars Bounty Hunter.
Mary
Okay, maybe AI knows.
Mike
Mortal sin.
Mary
You've wasted so much of my time.
Mike
Hold on, cat.
Dan
This is your fault.
Mike
Yeah, it's your fault.
Mary
It's not my fault that the Nintendo Switch doesn' It has a certain amount of battery. So stupid. No, it wasn't.
Mike
I love Miami. Kato Buttered Cat.
Mary
Just saying. Random twisted metal 3.
Mike
Was it? Kato buttered cat.
Dan
NFL game 97.
Mary
Kato buttered cat is a really long name.
Mike
Slippery too. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Fire escape cast. It is episode 98. I'm Mike. That's Mary.
Mary
Hi.
Mike
That's Dan.
Dan
Hello.
Mike
Mary came really prepared for this episode. I played. I did.
Mary
I played multiple games, but that you.
Mike
Couldn'T remember the names of. We're creeping closer to episode of Hondo. Speaking of more like Hundo Buttered Hat. We're getting close. I'm gonna just tilted your head in the exact same way. Amazing joke. Yeah. Oh, wow.
Dan
Look at that. Yeah.
Mary
Yeah. People tend to tilt their heads when they understand and appreciate a joke.
Dan
Is the game Cat Quest?
Mike
I didn't pick it up.
Dan
Is the game Cat Quest? I'm trying to help you here.
Mary
I don't think so.
Dan
Little kitty Big city Cozy caravan Party animals Stray rain World Night in the woods Kit IO the Purring Quest. Cat Meat Gato Roboto.
Mary
Hold on. You're going too fast.
Dan
Play with Gilbert remake Magic cat. Cats are liquid. Cat goes fishing. Cat Quest one and two. A street cat's tail. Another site Cat tails become a cat cat and Black, sad under the skin.
Mike
There's TikTok. What is this game?
Dan
What's the game?
Mike
Oh, that's inappropriate. Okay, I'm going to back out of that Steam page. So what's. What's been up with you guys? Aside from Mary's switch charging Dan, how are you been?
Mary
I went.
Mike
No, I'm.
Mary
First I went to Leavenworth, Washington and Oregon. It depends on how you want to say. Oh, I'm sorry. Is the. Is the person who has like the purple perfect pronunciation correcting me Alien.
Mike
Trh la la.
Dan
It's a prison town. It's where they put Michael Vick.
Mary
Oh, my God. This is.
Dan
No, he got out.
Mary
What my dad said there, you looked at like you're going to prison for Christmas. And I was like, I've been to. It's a Christmas town in Washington. It's like a Bavarian village. It's supposed to be really nice and fancy and like, it's just cute. It's like a cute little shopping town where you can get your little cocoa and they have k. Are sledding and everything is kind of Christmas themed before.
Dan
They slam the door shut.
Mary
That is not what they say because that doesn't happen.
Mike
Next thing you know, it's Reveley. And then you're going to the mess hall and then you're. Then you're in the hole and then you're. You're eyeing up the person. You're going to make your.
Dan
So you don't.
Mike
So you don't get made to be.
Mary
A. I was stealing diamonds and no one was the wiser. And then I got a surprise invitation to Leavenworth, Washington for Christmas, and they got me. Now I'm right out.
Mike
It looked like a winter wonderland in that village, whatever you called it.
Mary
Bavarian village.
Mike
That's what it was. Yes. But it looked pretty. You were hiking and throwing snowballs at each other.
Mary
Yes, it's. What else do you do when it dumps like a foot and a half of snow on Christmas Day? It was very. You know, it's just like the type of Christmas that you imagine in your head is the kind of place it was. Lots and lots of snow, beautiful mountain landscapes. We went to a really beautiful forest. And then I was telling Dan I always play a game and kind of get, like sucked into it every Christmas. And I tried to download a game and I played through it, but I forgot the name of it. And that's how this episode started in case anyone was like, what's going on? Strange. It's like a cat or blob. Based game. I say cats are kind of like Blobs. No.
Mike
Yeah. I bought it because sometimes you'll play a game that's three years old. Sometimes you'll play a game that's not even out yet. And it never. I bought a game.
Mary
I bought it because it was on sale. It was like $3 eshop on sale.
Dan
Okay.
Mary
No, because it might not be on sale anymore.
Dan
Is it Tomb Raider 4 through 6 remastered Ender Magnolia?
Mary
All right. This is such a waste.
Mike
Wait, is it just called Blobcat?
Dan
It's not just called Blobcat.
Mike
There's a game on eShop. There's a cat platformer. It's called Blobcat, but he's like white and red and there's a. He's got a bunch of different telescopes and stuff. It was 10. $10.
Dan
Now is it Anime Girls Natty New Year?
Mike
Anime Girls Natapult Reloaded.
Dan
Once the puzzles are complete, you can enjoy admiring the girls in the gallery at your own time.
Mary
I can't believe Blobcat is actually a game that. So wild.
Mike
There's a game called Blobcat on eShop and that's not the game about the Blob Cat platformer that you played.
Mary
It's.
Dan
Is it Felinia Tales?
Mike
I'm gonna be so pissed when you tell us the actual. What is your switch at? What's the percentage I had.
Mary
It's downstairs charging.
Mike
You need to go get it. We'll get it during the break because now I need to know. It's like a girl.
Dan
Sweet skier.
Mary
What is this? Yeah. You'll be amazed. When I was on the sale page three of Nintendo eShop, there's a lot of Anime Girls and kind of spicy games on the Nintendo Eshop. I was surprised and especially in the sales section, which is where I was at on Christmas Eve. How many of the games on sale were moderately sensual?
Dan
60 off right now. Is Love Furry Girls, Zodiac Dating Apple on the Nintendo Eshop. Wow.
Mike
I'm going to wait until that's full price. I got to support the devs.
Dan
Sure. Yeah. Yeah.
Mike
Dan, what's new with you?
Dan
Boy? I guess we had like the whole holidays and New Year and everything.
Mike
It's also been. We had to record that last episode earlier than usual because. So it's been like three weeks since we.
Dan
That's right. So I've been sitting on something that I found soon after we recorded the last one. I've been waiting to Look. I don't throw the term hero around lightly. But I will for myself in this instance here, because, Mike, we've given you so much grief for your embarrassing about the author that I dug up, and we've sold merch off of it, and you've looked like a damn fool.
Mary
He does look stupid.
Dan
I found. As I was clearing up space on, like, my drives and stuff, I found an old screenshot of a forum from 2002. It was from a student filmmaking forum.
Mike
Where were you, like, eight, seven?
Dan
I would have been 17. Probably going into 18 at that point for context.
Mike
So younger than I was for the. About the author. But still.
Dan
Yeah, so. So less embarrassing. But still. I want to. In the spirit of fairness, I want to put this out because I was honestly in shock at how much of a douchebag I am in this comment forum.
Mike
But in that screenshot is a comment.
Dan
You is my comment. Yes.
Mike
And you recall why you screenshotted it?
Dan
It looked like it was a thing where it was, like, two different. Like, it looks like I tried to type it up, and then it, like, didn't go through. And then I tried it again. It looks like I probably screenshot it to be like, why isn't this posting or something so I can't see the whole thing or anything. And it's, like, over 20 years old. Okay. But I'm clearly responding to someone who's like, I don't really understand Kubrick and why Kubrick?
Mike
My God, Would this be fun if I read it or can do what.
Dan
I guess I think I should.
Mike
Okay, you read it.
Mary
Can I make a funeral? Do you think that he says anything about Fight Club in this?
Dan
This would have. I guess Fight Club would have been out a couple of years before, you dork.
Mike
Yeah, I think it's worse.
Dan
It's worse. I don't think it's as bad as Mike's, but it is bad enough to where I do want to embarrass myself with this.
Mary
All right, let's.
Dan
Here we go. I mean, keep on. Somebody before had clearly said something like, oh, I don't really get Kubrick. I don't really understand Dr. Strangelove or why it's funny. Okay, you have to really appreciate the subtleties of Dr. Strangelove. But then again, based on your previous posts, I bet you're not even sure what the Cold War was.
Mary
Zing.
Dan
It's gonna get worse.
Mike
Okay, okay, okay.
Dan
There's should be. There are. There's so many things going on in Dr. Strangelove that you obviously didn't even pick up on. The whole movie is about Jack Ripper's essence and Cold War paranoia. Notice the little things, like how Jack subconsciously strokes his phallic cigar. Symbolism, symbolism, symbolism.
Mike
I'm getting a cold from this comment.
Dan
Yeah, 2001 is genius. Clockwork is genius. Nothing more to say there. Yes, his work may be slow at times, but that's not a problem if you have a decent attention span or a minute appreciation of good film. Yeah, and a big finish. Now go see Bad Boys 2 or something. I'm sure you'd like that. I heard they blow up something in it. Maybe a car wreck too.
Mike
This is the Fast and the Furious officianado in the making.
Dan
Oh, yeah.
Mike
So wait, this person, just such an editor, this person? It sounds like you're responding to something cruel that they said.
Dan
No, it sounds like somebody just being like, I don't really understand the deal with Kubrick. I don't really get Dr. Strange, love. And then I probably went through their post history and was like, oh, this person probably doesn't even know the Cold War.
Mary
Which I. I don't think there's so much effort to drop some a bomb on someone who doesn't give a about you.
Dan
The juiciest 17 year old film door.
Mary
Explain all of your film history. And I love my favorite line in all of that dribble was even in minutiae of appreciation for good film. Like what is good? Mine was appreciation for good film.
Mike
Phallic cigar.
Dan
No, I literally said symbolism, Symbolism, symbolism. It's like, oh my. I would go back in time and kick my own ass.
Mike
Yeah, you. I. That's different than the author bio.
Dan
It is very different. This is like snobby, shitty forum guy.
Mike
Yeah, mine was just embarrassingly like, what would the word be? I'm not sure.
Dan
You're just trying to like play up the nerdom, you know, Yours wasn't as like you were. Yours was harmless nerdy stuff. Mine was like, oh, this dude fucking sucks me.
Mike
But yeah, yeah.
Dan
Oh, I went hard in the other direction, I guess as I got older.
Mike
But I think it was two weeks ago you texted me saying, by the way, I found like an about the author esque comment I made. And then you're like, I might just save it for the show. I was like, yeah, please do.
Dan
Yeah, it's. It was shocking to see that. So, yeah, I'd love to, man. I wish I could. Like, if we could do time travel, that'd be such a good podcast. If I could podcast with 17 year.
Mike
Old me, I wouldn't listen to it. But I'm sure people would. I would go back. I wouldn't. I don't think I would. I would annoy my past self. Would annoy the shit out of current me.
Dan
Same. I don't think I was ever that.
Mike
Snobby about movies, but I'm sure I said something similar at some point. When I thought I like understood the whole world and every little nuance of it and had to like convey to other people that I was smart. Yeah, I got things. I'm sure I was like that about something.
Dan
I went the other direction. I used to be like, I need to show people I'm smart. And now it just turned into like, I need to seem very stupid.
Mike
Yeah.
Dan
I don't know when that turn happened, but at some point it did.
Mary
Do you think that it sounds like you wouldn't like your 17 year old self, but do you think your 17 year old self would like you?
Dan
I think I would be like, what the fuck happened to this guy? I don't think I would dislike my thing. I just. Did he have a brain injury or something? Like. But then I'd also be like, well, shit, it seems like things went all right for him, so maybe I shouldn't change anything. But.
Mike
Yeah.
Dan
Yeah, I think.
Mike
I think 17 year old me would like me, but I don't think I'd like him.
Dan
Yeah, I would hate old Dan. Would hate young Dan more than young Dan. Would dislike old Dan.
Mike
Yeah, that's like coming face to face. You know, people talk about those random little things they said back in like fourth grade that keeps them up at night.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
Coming face to face with all of those in one package in the same room.
Dan
Arguing with you. Yeah.
Mike
And it's arguing with you and like putting you down. Dr. Strangelove.
Dan
Yeah. I'm gonna go to 17 year old me and Clockwork Orange strapped into a chair and make him watch MacGruber 20 times.
Mike
Symbolism, symbolism, symbolism, symbolism.
Dan
Celery is a Cold War thing.
Mary
They were good fucking guys.
Mike
Yeah, they're pretty good guys. It's a fucking asshole of a day.
Mary
Symbolism, symbolism, symbolism.
Dan
That's what happens when you're not a social kid, is you don't have anyone to check you and be like, hey, you sound like an asshole. You know?
Mike
Yeah.
Mary
But you had sister. You should. She should have been.
Dan
They were so much younger. They were so much younger.
Mary
And dad say at least make fun of you.
Dan
I mean, we all made fun of each other, but we all got along.
Mike
Great, you know, I do think it has benefited. Oh, my God. Sorry. I Do think it has benefited me that I have four older siblings who constantly. If I. Because the oldest one is 10 years older than me. So he was going to college when I was in. Going into third grade. So he would frequently not, not like bully me but you know, like the annoying shit that teenagers say or you know like tween preteens to call you out on. He would be like, dude, no, like trust me, you're not going to. I mean I. My brother is talking to me. Keep in mind it's. My brothers would often phrase it as Girls are not going to like this when you're older, dude. Like you got to chill. And that would be like. Okay, good.
Dan
Thank you. Good note reader about the author to see if girls are like this.
Mike
Yeah. Where was, where was Pat Mahardi when I was writing that? The author God damn could have called me a homophobic slur when I needed it.
Mary
You could have gotten so much more puss if he was there for you.
Mike
Dude, I got a guy I could. I'd be swimming in puss if. If he was there.
Dan
No, no, man. It needs a couple more Tolkien references. Let him know you know your.
Mike
He's like camera at home. Preferably the bridge from Stairway. But then go deep cut. Go, go like do your maker show them. You show them you've been there. When they Deer maker.
Dan
I think it's like deer maker.
Mike
Your maker. I always said deer maker. Oh, sorry, I can't speak French, mister.
Dan
I go to France 17 times a year with my special France luggage.
Mike
I went twice. I don't have special France.
Dan
You have special luggage that holds wine bottles?
Mike
No, it's a normal away bag. I just pack it full of. I have sleeves, bubble.
Dan
Oh, you got sleeves. You got special wine inserts for your luggage. Okay.
Mike
You can't have that breaking through 30,000 000ft up, baby. Otherwise going to be raining burgundy on Spain.
Mary
Yeah, I think 17 year old you would kick your ass.
Mike
There was parts of me that 17 year old would not like.
Dan
Let's get all our 17 year old self together and kick current Mike's ass.
Mike
Yeah. All. Let's bring all 17 year olds of each of us to the present. Like make them watch the inauguration and then kick their ass.
Mary
Wow.
Mike
It just seem, I don't know, it seems like a historical future moment for them.
Dan
Oh, I see. Yeah.
Mary
My 17 year old self would not be involved in any of this. They would be like where can I get high?
Dan
Oh, mine would be calling the cops on you for getting high.
Mike
I knew it.
Dan
We Would all hate each other.
Mike
We would not have been friends at all.
Dan
No.
Mike
What I've been doing 17. I was. I cared a lot about lacrosse.
Dan
Okay. Yep. I wouldn't have liked you.
Mary
Checks out.
Dan
That checks out.
Mike
I wouldn't like that either.
Dan
You were so. I would have thought you were a jock and Mary was a delinquent, and we would not have got along, none.
Mike
Of us speaking completely. Actually, like, honestly, I was definitely. There were certain days when I was a jock. There's certain days when I, like, was, you know, hanging out. My friends I played video games with, did Halo system links on three different floors of our house, or I didn't have three floors in my house. Two different floors of my house. Then there are other days where I'd be hanging out with, like, the stoners, and it wasn't like, if I was with the jocks, I would bully the other ones. I would actually. I'm not saying this to brag. My point being, I almost used to feel like I was cheating and not being. I wasn't being, like, an actual. I didn't have an actual personality because I hung out with so many different groups. I thought, sure. I was like, I should have picked one at some point. This just feels like I'm faking.
Mary
You're dabbling. You're allowed to dabble. As a kid, I feel like we're. I think this is very American high school, I've heard. Yeah. Now I'm all in on chalk.
Mike
Mary and I push up contests.
Mary
I like to punch nerds when I see them on the street. No, I was gonna say, like, I think that it's very American youth to have in our movies like, American Pie and things like that, to be like, oh, the jocks don't hang out with the. You know.
Dan
Sure.
Mary
With the nerds and the. There's, like, obviously, like, the computer club, and then there's the people who like to sing. But anyway, like, I don't think that's actually the case globally. I think that's something like, we've created for ourselves and then have kind of stuck ourselves in and said, which group am I in? And she's like, you don't have to be in any of them.
Dan
Yeah, like. Like in high school, like, I didn't, like, party or socialize or anything, but, like, I got along with. And I got, like, everyone from, you know, jocks to music nerds to theater people to anime dorks to, you know, like, all that stuff. I got along with everyone.
Mike
You hung out with the anime dorks? I'M sure they appreciate you calling them that when you hung out with them. Look at us.
Mary
Hello, anime dorks.
Dan
No, I think. I think I would hang out with people that like JRPGs and then make fun of them because I saw them as lesser nerds than me.
Mike
Okay.
Dan
And I was like the JOC nerd by comparison because I played cool military stuff. Very solid. I do think, actually there were a couple anime nerds in my school, and I think I was probably wary of them and didn't hang out with them.
Mike
Didn't understand them.
Dan
No, no. I probably was getting ready to call the cops on him.
Mike
I think now if we. If we're closest to any of those archetypal cliques, we're probably the AV club.
Dan
Yeah. I mean, that. Yeah, I did that back, like, video production class and everything.
Mike
I mean, now, like, if us as a group had to pick one like Jake as. Especially where they have club, I could see that.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
Yeah.
Dan
Former job, Cool place to land.
Mike
Former. Former. I don't know what Mary would be.
Mary
I'd still be in the delinquent.
Mike
Delinquent gymnast AV club right now. Up and paint and then doing the balance beam. Did I tell you the.
Mary
I had. I had a bit of a duality in high school, too, where I was like, do, like, half doing chasing drugs and half gymnastics. And so I. I was like. I was on when I was on, and then when I didn't need to be an athlete, I was trying to score.
Mike
We contain multitudes. Yeah, I just came up with that on my own. I just came up with that phrase by myself. Yeah, I was my own phrase. You can quote me in the future when you say that. Say, was Mike Muhy.
Mary
I will not.
Dan
I don't know if I've told you the blue smoke story. Stop me if I have, but I was in sixth grade and. No, I was in sixth grade, and I was walking around the neighborhood, and I was terrified of seventh graders because they were in junior high, so they were older and they went to a different school. And one of them rode his bike up, like, my cul de sac or something and was smoking something, and he's like, hey, do you want to hit? And I was like, no. And I went in and I, like, ran to my mom, and I was like, mom, we have to call the cops right now. And she's like, what? I just saw one of the seventh graders smoking weed in the outside. Just in the coldest. He showed it. And she's like, are you sure it was drugs? Yeah, mom, it had blue smoke. I saw like, there was blue smoke coming out of it. The stick in his mouth had blue smoke. It was definitely drugs. Mom, we need to call 91 1. And she was just like, my mom was never like a real, like, drug person or anything like that. She's like, it's fine. It's some teenager smoking weed.
Mary
Where did you get this from? Did you dare twice or something?
Dan
I went to dare camp.
Mary
Oh, loser.
Mike
I definitely would have not liked you.
Dan
Well, listen, Dare camp, I didn't go there. I won a contest to go to Dare camp. And that means you just go to a bunch of like, theme parks and camps with a bunch of cops.
Mary
Like calling 911 the most in your class.
Mike
They just put a. They put a Coke on a table in front of 30 people. And anybody who doesn't snort first, who snorted it?
Dan
Yeah, no, everyone, I think, was entered, and everybody did want to go because it was like, you got to go to Worlds of Fun, which is like our Six Flags. And you got to go to, like, a camp and there was like a bunch of, like, fun stuff, and then they teach you a bunch of, like, anti drug stuff, and it's with a bunch of cops and everything. But yeah, I went to Dare camp during a summer and I was all in on the messaging. I was, you know, I will call those.
Mary
Obviously, we're like, number one pig. I'm just, like, so blown away by, like, your aversion to drugs to this degree that you're, like, constantly walking around hitting 9:1 on your phone and waiting for another reason to hit the final one.
Mike
Meanwhile, locked and loaded.
Dan
Meanwhile, in 2025, literally three hours ago, I was having a conversation with a weed company about doing a partnership with a local cannabis place.
Mary
Well, well, well, a couple of dollars around and he's.
Dan
No, not even dollars. I just want free weed.
Mary
Yeah, Yeah.
Mike
I was gonna say Dan doesn't need money.
Dan
No, just give me your free and I'll talk about it.
Mike
What was the turning point? Like, college.
Mary
We deal would be so killer.
Dan
No, college, actually. Well, okay. It started to turn better, like, leading up to college because I started hanging out more with people and I started drinking a little bit. But then I did mushrooms the first time. Had my first, like, I had a really bad panic attack. Then I did mushrooms again, Had a really bad panic attack. And then I did morning glory seeds, Had a really bad panic attack and swore off, like, I thought I was losing my mind for, like, months. I was like, had this like, mental break almost where I was like, Physically sick for, like, several months with, like, crazy flu symptoms. I thought I was going crazy and all this. It was, like, honestly, a really rough spot.
Mike
It's like senior year of high school.
Dan
No, this would have been, like, first semester of college is when. And, well, the mushrooms was that summer before college. But, yeah. And so, like, I was so scared of that, and I was convinced that I, like, broke my brain with the mushrooms and stuff, so I became very, like. I didn't. I was past the point of judging anyone for pot. Like, all I was in the arts dorm, everyone smoked pot copiously. I just drank. But, yeah, I was just really. All my friends smoked all the time. I could have had weed all through college, but I just was scared of it, honestly. So to the point where it's like, I would have dental procedures done. Like, I had my wisdom teeth stuff done without pain meds because I didn't want to feel high, so. And then it wasn't.
Mary
Do you think it was connected to your anxiety that you were basically like, I'm gonna get out of control because your anxiety made you nervous?
Dan
A thousand percent. I thought I was going crazy, and I was like, what if I just. You hear these stories, like, somebody, you know, did acid and jumped off a balcony or something? Like, that shit scared me so much. And then it wasn't until San Francisco, when I move there, and I was like, oh, I can just get this card. I have a very valid reason with anxiety and stuff like that, and I can look up strains and I can buy it and know it's not coming from, like, a shady place or anything. I started to kind of get into that a little bit, actually. I. I like this. This isn't that bad. I've had ups and downs with it since then as far as, like, I have periods where it makes me more anxious and periods where I'm more curious about it. I think I'm right now in a spot where it's like, I do want to start having it more. I've been having weed seltzers with movies with Bon instead of, like, drinking and. Because I'm doing kind of like a dryish, like, January thing, but I'm having weed.
Mary
Try January with an asterisk. Yeah, I know.
Dan
Yeah. I mean, we dry, right? Well, I guess.
Mary
Yeah. Everybody knows that if you're sober, you're allowed to smoke pot.
Dan
Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. That's what all the sober kids do. But, yeah, so I'm. I'm. I've. I was anti weed as a Narc kid. I was scared of weed as a college student, and I've been very curious about weed as an adult and looking for ways to, you know, help with, like, anxiety and stuff.
Mary
Find your dosage. I think, like, a lot of the times, because I also ran really anxious as a kid, and I also had a panic attack from doing too many mushrooms. Used to be really careful with, like, how much of that stuff you're putting in your body when you're hyperactive and mentally all over the place. Like, I freaked out once and I kind of learned the hard way. I am very particular about my dosage. I also did. So I. I had such a different path than you, Dan. I. I think I was smoking weed when I was like, 13. I was a bad. I was a bad kid. And I was like, I would have.
Dan
Had a SWAT team up so quick.
Mary
My. My mother is a saint and I would have stabbed you on site. And I was.
Mike
Your mom have to do with it.
Mary
She was just put up with a lot of my, you know, like, my mom loved me and would constantly be like, she's out there doing the drugs again. And I. She would come find me and I would, you know, and I would just go do it again. I was the worst. But in college, I felt like I was quite a seasoned vet by then. Like, I had already done a lot of drugs by then. I had already done most of the things that you're not supposed to do. And so I thought I was, like, way cooler than everybody else who was, like, doing their first drug. And I was like, oh, are you? And I. I'll never forget, like, the first time, though, that I. I tried a volcano, which is like, where you have those, like, vaporizers. Yeah. And they put. It's such like, pure THC in a bag. And I was like, let me show you how it's done. And I took, like, the. The biggest rip I could off of this bag because I smoked pot a lot and I felt like I could hang and I absolutely got annihilated from this bag. And I didn't remember where my dorm was. And I needed help and I needed. I needed, like, to process. I felt really unsafe and I. They had these. You know, they have those phones in colleges in case you need to call security on campus.
Dan
Yeah.
Mary
Yeah. In case something, like, really bad happens. And I remember just, like, hanging out by one of those phones just because I was like, I'm so fucking high. If anyone comes up to me, I'm grabbing this phone because I'm freaked out.
Dan
Yeah.
Mary
And then I. Eventually, it just. Like, it just kind of worked out, and I. And I got over it. But it's. The thing about it is, is, like, you and I are actually quite similar. I also run high anxiety and needed to find the right dosage, and if I went too hard, I had the worst time. So I. I have learned from that, and in my years now, I really like everything prepackaged. I'm quite a gummy person now because I'm like, that's my dosage, and if I do that, then I'm not gonna overdo it. I'm not gonna freak out.
Dan
Yeah, same, like, these seltzers. Like, you know, I'll have, like, you know, 5, 10 milligrams. And I know I'm good, and I know it's not gonna last for hours and hours. I can slowly sip it during a movie. But, like, I do think it can actually, like, kind of help in a way, like those scary moments. Because I never had a panic attack or knew what anxiety was until I did mushrooms the first time. That would have been summer of 2002. Well, no, but honestly, I. I wouldn't change anything because, like, I thought it was like, oh, that was just, you know, because I was high. And then I did mushrooms. Oh, yeah. I had a bad experience because I was tripping. And then the first, like, panic attack I had sober was seeing. I think it was Lord of the Rings. Two Towers. No, it was gangs in New York. Gangs in New York. Like, around New Year's. And I was, like. Felt that feeling. My chest thought I was gonna die. I had to, like, sit in the bathroom and just freak out. And I was like, what the fuck is happening? And that's when I was like, oh, I broke my brain. Because I could explain it before, because I felt that way because I was tripping. And this is, like, something. I'm stone cold sober right now. What the fuck is this? And that led to me learning about what anxiety was and panic attacks and, like, starting to get help with it. So ultimately, I obviously had some underlying shit that I think that the mushrooms probably just like, hey, buddy, you should probably be working on this a little bit. So I wouldn't change anything.
Mary
My first time on mushrooms, I found a stick and said that I invented trees. And I kept trying to stick it in the ground and being like, tree invented. Well, I think I was trying to say planted. But, like, in my head, I was like, look at me inventing trees.
Mike
I thought I had to go to Bush.
Dan
I thought I invented World War II. And I felt really guilty about it. I was like thinking about like a montage of World War II, like D Day footage and be like, why did. That's horrible. Why did I.
Mary
Why did I do that?
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
And then, yeah, jump cut to fucking 15 years later and you're saying, I want you to cream your jeans on Normandy Beach. You have changed.
Dan
Yeah.
Mary
Drugs are crazy. They are crazy. And I think it's insane that we have that we all have like these very consistent stories of all trying them. Like they're all kind of prevalent in society. No. No 13 year old on my watch should ever be doing drugs. Bugs. I. I'm such a fortunate little idiot that I was able to get away with as much as I got away with. But what I will say to. I think I might have said this before, but like, what I will say is like, my sister never touched anything. And then college, she freaked out because she like, had never been able to do any of that bad stuff. And then she did it all at once and kind of like lost. Lost it a little bit because I was so seasoned. By the time I had gotten to college, I was like, no big deal. And I actually think it actually made me better in college. Like, I had really good G in college because I had learned to solve doing bad stuff and getting my done. I had, I had it all worked out.
Dan
Oh, I was the flip of that because, like, I didn't ever party or drink or anything. And then I go to college, everyone's like, hey, this kicks ass. And I like being social and everyone thinks I'm funny. And then I would just like go out and drink all the time. Like, I'm gonna come back with crazy stories. Wacky Dan got drunk and did some crazy and like, I just went super hard on. Just like, I'm never going to class. I'm just gonna drink and party and have crazy stories. And I didn't get any of that out of my system in high school. I waited till college. So yeah.
Mike
Yeah, I generally did much, much better in college. Like, I hit college and all of a sudden it made sense. My parents were kind of. They're very different than they are now, but they were pretty strict when I was younger. So I was definitely like a bit more sheltered until I wasn't at a certain point in high school. But I was also sick all the time. So by the time I got to heights or college, it's just all of a sudden I think the freedom actually worked really well for me. And then from there on I actually Started doing really well with classes in school and whatnot. But I sucked in school before college.
Dan
I think I had. I really think I might be historically the worst student that has a college degree in the history of the world. Yeah, I don't think anyone could have gone to less class or given less of a shit or weasel out of so many things. I cannot imagine anyone actually graduated and it was as bad of a student as I was. There's no.
Mike
Is your GPA like, bare minimum?
Dan
Yeah, I did a lot of pass fail stuff. I. Yeah, I. I mean, I would just shoot for a D and even that. Like, I mean, most of them I just like talk to teacher. Like, I wouldn't go to class for the whole.
Mary
What was your graduating gpa, do you know?
Dan
I think it was in like the twos or something.
Mary
But I literally.
Dan
Literally though, I would like, I would not go to any classes for the whole semester. And then I would get like, I'd get a thing, be like, hey, you're gonna get an F. And I'd walk in and talk to the teacher and be like, hey, I know I was supposed to do all those film classes, but I was making this sketch show instead. So it's not like I wasn' doing film stuff. And they would just give me straight A's.
Mike
Wow.
Dan
That was like, I got into two GPAs even with many semesters of teachers just being like, yeah, we'll give you straight A's, it's fine. Even though I did not step foot in the class.
Mike
And you wonder why people call you, like, lucky.
Dan
It's not luck.
Mike
I know. I mean, well, it's like a speech. Bullshitting.
Dan
Yeah, yeah, bullshitting. I didn't lie.
Mary
It's a combination of like, white man just. Absolutely. I did very. I did other stuff.
Mike
Like, this is an outrage. I've been making a.
Mary
Hilarious. But that's the thing.
Dan
I like, I had stuff to show. I was like, hey, take a look at this. Like, I was doing all of this video production work. It wasn't to a syllabus or your class, but like, I was learning a lot on my own.
Mary
You do the job. Do what every other stupid kid in this class did and paid a lot of money for. You don't deserve it. If I was your teacher, I would have been high as and I would have failed your ass.
Dan
Yes. One of them gave me an A for that class I never showed up for and then told me to sign up for all of his classes next semester and he was going to give me straight A's. For all of those.
Mike
What? And he did that. Seems like he's a bad professor.
Dan
I loved him. He still worked there, so I'm not going to. Let me see what he's doing. I love that guy.
Mike
Probably.
Dan
Oh, yeah, he's got a page there. All right. Yep, that's. That's my guy.
Mary
I can't believe you remember his name. I does that.
Mike
Okay, wait, let's, like, let's, let's do Guess who with Professor. Does he have red hair?
Dan
I'm not saying nothing. He was my guy.
Mike
Yep.
Dan
Well, one of my teachers won a Oscar.
Mary
Was it me?
Dan
Well, this. Okay, I'm fine saying this guy's name because he was not one of the ones that let me.
Mike
He was.
Dan
Yeah, yeah. This is Kevin Wilmot. He. He was one of the writers on blackkklansman. He was a fascinating dude. He used to do voiceover stuff for my sketch show and stuff. Like, he was awesome. But, yeah, Oscar winning guy now. And he was one of my dudes back then. But I loved all those teachers. They were. They liked me. They talked me up in the newspaper.
Mike
What did they say about you in the newspaper?
Dan
One of the quotes was. I thought it was funny. He said he. He makes films the way other students go to parties. And I remember reading that and being like, yeah, I also go to parties a lot.
Mike
So they thought. I don't think all the time. They think, like, the energy of your films or you.
Dan
I think the enthusiasm for making stuff.
Mike
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Dan
Because it was like a. I was on the COVID of the paper for, like, my sketch show and videos and stuff. And, like, they interviewed my teachers. My teachers are all, like, raving about me.
Mike
Oh, yeah. You're nothing if not enthusiastic. Yeah.
Mary
Yeah.
Dan
So I think that got me pretty far with it.
Mike
Yes. It's a good way to frame it. I worked pretty hard, especially when I got back to Syracuse Journalism School. I was. I worked hard at that.
Dan
What was the hardest thing there was?
Mike
What? Because I was a transfer. I transferred 1, 2, 3, 4 times in college.
Dan
Technically, two different colleges or like, departments.
Mike
No colleges, universities. But when I got to Syracuse for journalism school, a lot of the, like, tough journalism classes coincided because I had transferred everything, all my other electives in American history things. So by the time I got to that last two years at Syracuse, like, all right, take your reporting 200 class, your feature writing 300 class, your crime reporting class. So I was just like, basically out in Syracuse every day. I was just a reporter for two years, which is why I loved it. I wasn't, it didn't feel like I was in school. I was a reporter and then I would come back to the classroom and some like world class editors who are now professors were editing my stuff. It was great.
Dan
How old were you?
Mike
21, 22.
Dan
Were you picturing yourself as like some hard nosed detective from an Elmore Leonard book or something?
Mike
Like, like a gum shoe? Yeah, yeah, like a gumshoe reporter.
Dan
Is that how young Mike was picturing himself?
Mike
Oh dude, I walked around with like a hat tipped over my face. I smoked. I like would pick up a cigar butt off the street.
Dan
Like the candy cigarette.
Mike
This just got interesting.
Mary
The bubble pipe.
Mike
Just walk, walk on the crime scenes with my trench coat. Be like, who the fuck are you? It's like it's going to be, it's going to be real hard for you to solve this crime when the perks don't have faces. And then I'd leave and write up that guy. I don't know. And then they see the story in the newspaper the next morning. Like he got none of the facts right. He didn't ask us a single question. Yeah, no, it was. College is a fun time. Yeah, but it was also. Yeah, I did not. I went to class most of the time.
Dan
Sucker.
Mike
Yeah, we really did. Like, like ships in the night. 17 year old me and you and then college, me and you. We're on a similar wavelength now.
Dan
But that's the thing. I think we all met all these, every story we tell about our past, I feel like we all became friends at the exact right time where it's like, I think if we would have gone much earlier, we would have been too different to get along well, you know.
Mary
Yeah, I think that's very true. And I think we are allowed to have so many evolutions as people and we are just so different than the 17 year old version or the 27 year old version. And when we hang out as 57 year old people we will be like, you guys were so stupid. Like we're just, we're just gonna continuously change. But I've loved every evolution. I've loved that I've been able to have it. You know, I don't want to be the same person with the same likes 10 years ago. I love that I have a completely different vibe now.
Dan
Yeah, I think that's natural and healthy. I love. My dad always says when you turn 30, everything's locked in and you're just that person for the rest of your life. And it's like, no, it's, it's not the case at all.
Mary
50, genuinely, I think there's something around 50 that makes people be like, I refuse to learn anymore about.
Mike
Tired of learning out.
Mary
I'm like, 50 is like. There's something about the. The 50 number where you're just like, I'm set in my ways. You can't make me change.
Mike
I think my parents were like 55, 60. And. And I have noticed since then that they've just like, all right, they seem comfortable with who and what and you.
Mary
Know why they are. By then, like, you're done, you're cooked. You are. You are complete. You are a complete package deal and you will not change for anyone. It's just not me, baby.
Mike
Roast me till I'm dead.
Dan
I can't.
Mike
I'll be honest.
Dan
50 year old Mike is gonna be the biggest asshole in the world.
Mike
Oh, dude, I can't wait till I have, like, long gray locks and I'm just. All I talk about is wine and probably cigars by that point. I don't really love cigars, but I'll probably get into them.
Dan
You're gonna be older, have more money, more refined taste. You're gonna be like, it's gonna be. It's insufferable.
Mike
Yeah, but I'm gonna be hot as. Gonna be a d. No, I'm not gonna be a dad, but like similar age.
Dan
Fly to Hoboken once a year and punch you in the face once you're old. It's gonna be like the anime, you're solid 4.
Mike
Or like hot rod. But you're not my son. I don't have cancer. No, it'll be great. I think we'll be friends when we're 50.
Mary
Oh, yeah?
Dan
Yeah.
Mary
I can't imagine good moments back then in the future. I hope so.
Mike
16 years. I don't know how long I have to live. I think. No, until I'm 50. Oh, okay. That's a very specific time.
Mary
If you knew you were only gonna live until 50, that would completely alter the trajectory of how I live my life. Yeah, If I only lived until 50, I would quit my job today. I would be done, and I would just start doing something else that I, like, feel enthused about. I would.
Mike
Odd. You know what I would do if I was like several weeks from. No. The day before I knew I was gonna die? I'd kill somebody that deserved it or didn't deserve it. I don't know. I just want to experience it once.
Dan
Who. Who would be your number one pick?
Mike
Mike. Oh, so many names. Just came to mind. I'm not gonna say any of them.
Dan
But I could probably guess all of them.
Mike
You've seen the list? Yeah, yeah. No, I wouldn't kill anybody. I'd. I'd embrace somebody in a.
Dan
Let's play a game. Let me guess.
Mary
No. Yeah. Do they have red hair? No.
Mike
It'll be like a Dr. Zhivago situation. Wait, not Dr. Zhivago. Who's that euthanasia dude? As. Who's the guy that killed his patients? Who wanted it? Dr. Kavorki. I just said Dr. Zhivago. I'd be like Dr. Moreau.
Dan
You'd be like Dr. Moreau.
Mike
Doctor. Yeah. Dr. Caligari's cabinet.
Dan
Who's your favorite evil doctor? Oh.
Mike
Oh, actually, this. Speaking of, I think I told you guys we got the Bond Blu Ray collection.
Dan
Oh, yeah, you sent me that clip. It was incredible.
Mike
So just. I guess I'll. I'll kind of do some quick recaps as we get through the series. We are on the Spy who Loved Me, which is Roger Moore's third movie, I believe. Roger Moore's era. I think Timothy Dalton gets even more campy. Campier.
Dan
Dalton had, like, two movies, right?
Mike
Yeah, yeah.
Dan
Last movie had, like, one. Dalton was Living Daylights and License to Kill.
Mike
That sounds right. Because I think Roger Moore's last one was Moonraker, which is supposed to be very bad.
Dan
Sure.
Mike
Because they were trying to capitalize on Star wars, but, yeah, it's. It's Sean Connery for four of them. And then he left. George Lazenby came in for On Her Majesty's Secret Service, and then Connery came back for Diamonds Are Forever, which I hated.
Dan
What was Never say Never Again. It was like, that's not a real Bond movie. Right. But he once said he would never play Bond again. And then they made a movie called Never say Never Again, and it was basically him playing Bond or something.
Mike
I don't know. I didn't see that. But I. Some of these movies, I mean, all the movies are fascinating to watch. Some of that. Like, we're ranking them. Let me quick get my ranking. Quick to date. As you can imagine, a lot of women get punched and killed and thrown off the script, like.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
And so, yeah, every woman immediately falls in love with him a couple times when it didn't seem consensual until it was, I guess. But. Okay, here's a surprise. Really, really liked Thunderball, and I'll tell you why. There is a sequence in that movie that is one of the coolest set pieces I've seen in, like, movies, modern or old, involving how they steal two nukes off of this fighter jet once it goes underwater. Then they camouflage it and do all this shit. It's like. But there's no lines of cheesy dialogue for, like, 15 minutes while they're doing it. It reminded me of a Coen Brothers movie in that I understand exactly what they're doing the whole time, and they're just conveying it through action and still shots. It was great. From Russia With Love, I liked. That's number two. Goldfinger was three. I think a lot of people put those up top. Man With a Golden Gun.
Mary
Beloved, I feel like, by all people.
Mike
From Russia With Love and Goldfinger, I think, are the two iconic older ones. But Man With a Golden Gun with Christopher Lee, very young Christopher Lee, it took me off watching all these movies. Catches me off guard at, like, Jane Seymour when she's extremely young. That movie, Roger Moore's first movie, that was super weird and I think pretty racist.
Dan
A lot of them probably are.
Mike
Oh, yeah, this was Live and Let Die, but it's like a lot of.
Dan
New Orleans voodoo culture, like, parents, Amity and everything. It's so weird. I haven't seen any of the Connery or more. I've only seen, like, the Craig and Brosnan ones. And for some reason, I know, like, a lot about Bosnia.
Mike
Well, goldeneye was huge for that.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
Which one was I just talking about? The Spy who Loved Me. We're like, three quarters of the way through. We didn't finish last night. But that's when Jaws comes in. But they are in Cairo. I was like, oh, I get why he was in the Egypt bonus mission now. Because it was. That's where he was in the movie. Odd Job is in Goldfinger, which is pretty early on. I think that's the third movie. But there are other ones, like Diamonds Are Forever. I cannot stand. I don't think you put you Only Live Twice on here.
Dan
Well, so Diamonds Are Forever was the last Connery one, right?
Mike
No. Diamonds Are Forever. Is that what you said?
Dan
Yeah. Yes.
Mike
Yes.
Dan
So I. I looked it up. Never say Never Again. Was Connery coming back to play Bond after. This is 1983. So Connery comes back for one more. And it's based on Thunderball, but it's a Bond movie. It is an actual Bond movie. Sean Connery is playing James Bond in 1983. Oh, there's a lot of references to him aging and being past his prime. He's 52 in it. But, yeah, Connery Comes back for one post or like, mid Moore, I think.
Mike
And what's it called?
Dan
Never say Never again. Because he said he would never again play Bond.
Mike
What year was it?
Dan
1983.
Mike
So, no, that wouldn't have been. That would have been, like, Dalton era. Not that. Maybe late, more era.
Dan
Okay.
Mike
Or like, into Dalton.
Dan
Sounds like he was actually younger than Moore.
Mike
I like Roger Moore a bunch. I think he's actually my favorite early Bond. George Lazenby was not bad, but that movie was super weird. On Her Majesty's Secret Service. It's like a bunch of women are brought to this Alpine mental institution and then brainwashed to be sleeper cells and bring, like, deadly viruses out to all the major countries.
Dan
Sounds like an Austin Powers plot.
Mary
Very strange.
Mike
Watching. Watching these movies is like watching an action movie that MacGruber makes fun of that I haven't seen. Like, oh, now I get what MacGruber was riffing on.
Dan
Oh, sure, sure.
Mike
That's what. Or any, like, Mel Brooks movie. I'm like, oh, I get the reference now.
Dan
When Lazenby puts the celery in his ass, then.
Mike
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Mary
Symbolism. Symbolism, symbolism.
Mike
Yeah. But I'll keep you updated. It's. It's been pretty fun. There are some really good stuff.
Mary
American people.
Dan
Oh, my God. What's his asshole.
Mike
Oh, I thought you were gonna do about the government.
Dan
Oh. Oh, wow. Okay.
Mary
Yeah.
Dan
Symbolism, symbolism, symbolism, symbolism.
Mary
If you had any minutiae of what a good film is, you would know that the celery is all about fighting the government because you're in their.
Mike
It's. It's more. It's more, though. It's more the lack of truth in a. In a. No, it's. It's a lack. Pride in the post truth era, as.
Dan
Exemplified by American supreme writ large.
Mike
Yep, There you go.
Dan
What is it about the Internet that makes that everyone's first instinct? I remember, like, 1996, 1997, I showed my dad AOL chat for the first time, and I was like. We went into a music chat room because I knew we like talking music. And I was like, watch, dad. These are all people typing all over the world. They're all talking about music right now, and you can just talk to them. And they were talking about U2 at the time, and he just went in there. And the first thing my dad ever typed on the Internet was, you2 has sucked since Joshua Tree. Why is that? Everyone's brain immediately clicks into like, no, you're wrong. You.
Mike
Yeah, I like anonymity, I guess. Call you out. Yeah, and then everybody perceives everything as combative because they. There's no body language in the world to retone.
Dan
And it's just like a nightmare. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike
I still find myself reading, like, for my day job, reading Google chat messages. I'm like, I think, are they being an asshole right now? They're not. They're all wonderful people. But I just. My brain sees that.
Dan
Yeah, Fun.
Mike
But luckily, we have evolved past AOL chat and have a wonderful podcast.
Dan
Oh, yeah. About video games now as adults who know how to speak with respect. Respect to each other. Yeah.
Mike
And don't call 91 1-on-moremore.
Dan
I'm not a narc anymore. I love drugs. Hey, do you guys have any drugs I can buy from you? And you can send them across state lines?
Mike
I'll call. I'll call my buddy Rex.
Dan
He's got some. Okay. If you could just send me a picture of his driver's license, I'll make sure the right people see it.
Mike
Yep. His name's Rex. He lives at 3463 Highland, you Boulevard.
Dan
My neighbor is a cop. I should just start sprinting over his house all time, like, banging on the door. I know someone that's got drugs illegally.
Mary
He was like that.
Dan
Are you on duty right now? Can you be?
Mike
He opens the door, he's got nothing but a robe and a boner and cocaine and a gun. Get your gun.
Mary
Get your gun.
Dan
That'd be a fun bit. I should start doing that.
Mary
Go get your gun. Where is it?
Mike
But, you know the things you could put quarters in to, like, look at the Statue of Liberty from the. From the.
Dan
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Mike
You should put, like, a bunch of those on your rooftop so you could spy on people to see if they're doing drugs in your neighborhood.
Dan
That'd be a good idea.
Mike
If someone's mowing their lawn and they look up on your roof and see.
Dan
Grandma used to fucking do that. My grandma used to take me to the park because she thought that people that were going into the woods and the trails were selling drugs. And so she would just, like, get me McDonald's. We would drive to the parking lot lot, and she would just sit there and watch the trail entrance and be like. If she saw someone that she thought was like, well, they're probably selling drugs, she would call the cops.
Mike
Is that like, what is. I feel like people start owning property and just feel the need to protect their neighborhood and their house. Like, that's the get off my lawn archetype. Kind of.
Dan
This is, like, going out of your way to try to, like, get arrested.
Mike
Oh, the park wasn't near her house.
Dan
I mean, it was in the same county.
Mike
Oh, okay, gotcha. I thought you were saying, not that it would have been cool if it was her backyard or whatever.
Dan
She was going to Yellowstone. Trying to get people arrested. Yeah.
Mike
Yep. She's at tables.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
Is it. Is that a park? Tables.
Dan
I didn't get the reference at all. I was just gonna pretend.
Mike
No, no, no. Isn't that in Utah? There's a national park called, like, tables or some furniture.
Dan
I know the furniture.
Mike
Like chairs.
Dan
Yeah, I know those two.
Mary
Her job is tables.
Mike
Wait tables. National Park. Okay. It's not popping up. So.
Dan
No, no's the name of the game.
Mike
Mary was trying to think of Table Mountain National Park.
Dan
If we're doing this podcast in 30 years, it's just gonna be us forgetting things and trying to Google it.
Mike
National park.
Mary
We're actually gonna be replaced by AI. And the AI versions of us are just going to be farting and talking about what we think life is gonna be like.
Dan
I'd listen to that.
Mike
It was arches.
Dan
Ah, yeah. My favorite furniture, Tables.
Mike
Oh, you don't have any arches in your house. You ple. Is it pleb? It's ple. I think you guys want to talk about video games.
Dan
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mary, had enough?
Mike
Go get your switch. I need to know the name.
Dan
Go get it.
Mike
Okay, Dan, I feel like this is going to piss me off. Why are you playing Red Dead 2 you.
Dan
I don't think it's going to piss you off, actually. I think it's coming from the right spot. I think it's coming from. Yeah, yeah.
Mike
Oh, okay.
Dan
It's a poopy game. No, I. I did decide that, like, I was looking at, like, the release calendar this month and I was like, it's kind of like, actually a little lighter right now. Like, I want to play that Donkey Kong country game that's getting re released. But outside of that, I got some time. For the first time in forever. I thought maybe now's the time. Red Dead 2 is on PC. It's been fucking seven years since it came out. Let's give it another reappraisal because, like, I really liked the turn I was able to make with Death Stranding, where I, like, met it on its own terms and came back to it and took my time with it and wasn't rushing it pre release to talk about on a podcast. And so I installed it. I thought about installing mods and stuff or, like, saves that get you past the Beginning and everything. And I was looking over, like, fast animation mods and stuff. Stuff. And I just decided, like, no, let's play the game as intended. And first of all, playing it on PC. Holy shit. At 120 frames a second in 4K, that fucking game, which is seven years old, is almost.
Mike
Almost seven. It was 10-27-18.
Dan
Yeah, 2018. 2025. I know we're early, but whatever. Yeah, it is maybe the most impressive game visually I've ever seen. It's just incredible. And, like, the little details and stuff.
Mike
Moonlight, when you're riding through the planes at the right time and moonlight's coming through the pine trees.
Dan
Oh, God. You're starting in the snow and you walk out there, and I would just watch Arthur's hat and jacket and watch, like, the snow accumulate and, like, walk by fires and stuff and see it melt when I go inside. And it's like. It's crazy fucking details that are just. It's unreal.
Mike
Horse prints, footprints, It's.
Dan
It's impossible. Even back then, when I first played it and I just ranted against it all the time, I never denied that it was a stunning even. Like, I liked the story back then. I thought, you know, visually, there were a lot of things I liked about it back then. I just couldn't get past the slow animations, the kind of, like, laborious pace of, like, always having to ride and ride and talk and ride all the way back to the camp and listen to this death conversation, you know? And I think now that I don't have this huge expectation going in.
Mary
What conversation?
Dan
Like, conversations on horseback? Like, when you're, like, constantly having to, like, a lot of riding on horseback. Oh, well, Dutch. Does he know what he's doing? You know, like, that's stuff.
Mary
Dutch.
Dan
Dutch is the.
Mary
Yeah, the character. I thought you meant like, a Dutch oven conversation.
Dan
Oh, no, I think I forgot the.
Mary
Name of the character.
Dan
I didn't do that. Mod. The Dutch oven. Mod.
Mike
No, get the Dutch oven, the gang.
Dan
Members in the camp, get them all under one big blanket.
Mike
All right, now here's where we're going to hear a weird noise and smell a weird smell. But don't worry, it's funny.
Dan
This is going to get popular. Trust me, guys, we're going to call.
Mike
It the American stove.
Dan
I learned this in Tahiti. We're gonna bring it to America.
Mike
Now, Mr. Morgan, I don't think American stove is sticky enough. You got anything else? How about finish pot? No, I still don't think so, Mr. Morgan. Okay, okay. How about and this is the one Scandinavian.
Dan
Le Creuset.
Mike
I don't think I've ever tried Arthur before. Jake Decker. I think Arthur Morgan. You should have him do that joke because I.
Dan
I was wondering how long you would go if we just like, uninterrupted.
Mike
No, I don't. Yeah, I haven't done Arthur before, but. So wait, but how far are you?
Dan
I. I'm like three hours in, maybe. I mean, it still feels like kind of tutorialish stuff. I'm. I'm leaving, like, the snowy mountains and stuff.
Mike
So did you get out of the mountains?
Dan
I mean, I did this stuff where it's like, there's the big shootout and I grabbed the O'Driscoll guy and tied him up and brought him to the camp and learned how to hunt and all that stuff. And so, like, yeah, remove from the expectation and also going in, bracing for, like, listen, when I try to grab that can of beans, Arthur's gonna take his sweet fucking time with it. And I'm ready for it. And I'm also trying it in first person, which has been interesting. I. I don't know if I'm gonna stick with that or if I'm even gonna stick with the whole game game. But the thing is, I am actually liking it a lot more right now, and I'm looking forward to playing more of it. It's just. It does have that rockstar, just undeniable style to it. Just a, you know, cinema, you know, as a cinema. Talk about the symbolism. Yeah, no, it's even like the shootouts and stuff. Like, just. It's the way, like when it decides to cut to someone, you know, getting their death shot or whatever. The way the music goes and everything. Like the. The conversation system of just hitting L2 and talking to people and there's just a million little interactions and st that you can do, and it's. It's fascinating to play. I will say it is still annoying me at times where I don't know if this is just an early game thing, but it locks the save game thing. So it's like bonk. And I ordered food and we were going to, like, watch a movie last night, and I'm just like, okay, cool, I'll just save. And it's a video game. I'll save my game. And then when the food gets here and then we'll watch a movie. And I was like, in the middle of a mission and it locked the save thing. And I looked at the auto save and the last auto save was like 40 minutes ago. So it made me do this whole fucking mission, the one where you blow up the train, you rob the train and all that stuff. And then I was like, all right, finally, let's get through this. Finish talking. Okay, let's go, let's go, let's go. And then it made me do another thing and then it went right into another mission and cutscene. I still can't save the fucking game.
Mary
Wow.
Dan
And I looked and the auto save at this point was like an hour old. And it's like, listen, Rockstar, I know you're all rightfully very proud of this piece of art you made, but it's still a fucking video game. And I sometimes need to save the game and fucking walk away from it. And it's just like, oh, no, we can't have them save here. It's like they got to make all this all has to be in one sitting. It's like, you know, they sniff their own farts quite a bit over there. And it's understandably, they're doing like some of the most industry defining shit ever. But sometimes you got to save your game and fucking stop playing. And like that little shit is bothering me. And just like, you know all those rides after every mission where it's like, okay, I'm just. I have to hold a. To like match the speed of the horses. Even though I'd love to just set my controller down and just watch this conversation play out. And I have to like pretend like I'm interacting with it for a long time. Like those things are still like. I see why it really pissed me off and surprised me back then. But expecting it more this time has taken the edge off a little bit of that stuff. So I do intend to keep going. I don't know if I'm going to finish it or not, but I think once it opens up, I think if I'm liking it already this much and it's still kind of early snowy mountain stuff, I think there's a chance I could come around on this.
Mike
Yeah, because you'll. So the game really clicked with me. When you're leaving the camp outside Valentine, your first camp, and then you go to the one in the swamps outside Braithwaite Manor. Or rather when you go to Braithwaite Manor and that's your camp for a bit after you do the whole. After John Marston's kid gets kidnapped and then the whole gang is like, marches on the manor. I was like, okay, now thinking like how the momentum is building up. I love that game. It's what of my favorite games. But I also. Yeah, it's not in its minutia. It's not great sometimes.
Dan
Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, the stuff that's good there is remarkably good, to the point where it's like, I think I can, you know, muster through the stuff that I'm not loving, so it's fucking gorgeous.
Mike
Also, the sound design, too. In the wilderness, like, just. Especially with headphones on, just hearing, like, crickets chirping, and then the cicadas come out at night, and then, you know, the morning, you hear just, like you can hear a burbling stream from, like, a quarter mile away. Yeah, that's the thing.
Dan
It's like, that's helping, too, is because the first time I played it was in, like, a tiny New York City apartment on a PS4 with, like, TV speakers, and now it's, like, PC surround sound. Like, I'm really able to appreciate everything a lot more now. It looks and sounds a lot better.
Mike
Yeah.
Dan
Yeah. So we'll see. We'll see. I'm holding off on saying full on, like, oh, I love this, or I still hate this, or whatever, but I think it's. It's the right time for this.
Mike
I'm excited for updates.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
And I'm proud of you.
Dan
Oh, thanks.
Mike
Not really. Mary, what have you been playing?
Mary
Let's find out. I charged my.
Dan
Oh, my God. We're gonna find out live.
Mary
Yeah, I haven't looked.
Dan
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe.
Mary
Caddy.
Mike
Caddy Cass is kind of a cat.
Dan
Cat.
Mary
It's a cat. It's very blonde.
Mike
Is black and white. I thought you were saying the cat was black and white.
Dan
I was assuming she was saying the game was black and white.
Mike
I was assuming cat was black.
Mary
No, the whole game is black and white.
Dan
I finished it for the audio listeners. Oh, wait, he's not. Gizmo is just staring at me super weirdly in the background frame right now.
Mike
Once in a while. Yeah, he's being creepy.
Mary
Waiting.
Dan
All right.
Mary
You see a cat waiting for the master.
Dan
I have a podcast to do. Gizmo.
Mike
He said, be careful, dad, there's Gators. That's. That's what Gizmo sounds like in my head. Be careful out there. This quicksand and Gators dead.
Mary
Gators. Caddy is a simple platformer that I bought on Christmas Eve and then I guess forgot about it was on sale, which is why I bought it, because I wanted to play a simple game that wouldn't stress me out. I think it was 50% off, and it's $5. So it was 250. It is very simple in design. It. It is. I don't know when it came out. So this is not a new game.
Mike
I doubt Catty C A T T I E for the rest record.
Mary
Correct.
Mike
Correcty.
Mary
Heavy platforming where there's like spikes and slicer and dicers. Is it a Meat Boy?
Dan
Like it looks meat boyish.
Mary
I wouldn't give it that. I would say that there are elements of it that I suppose have. But Super Meat Boy is like beautifully done and has like really intricate levels. These are just like levels that were put together. I don't mean this to be too disparaging.
Mike
Is this game good or do you not want to talk about it? We can move on.
Mary
I didn't care for it, but I did it. But I. I just want to say you. It's like a simple platformer for when it was on sale for 250. I mean it did the job for Christmas Eve. So that was what I played. Now here's. Here's the real story I was told. I told you guys every Christmas I usually play a game really hardcore for the break. That's something I like to do. You recommended me like three games. I didn't want to play any of them for whatever reason. Maybe because I was like drinking a lot on Christmas Eve and was like, I just want a simple game that I can burn through. I'm not gonna stress about it. And I played caddy and I. And I. I rolled credits and I thought to myself that wasn't super satisfying. I do kind of want to sink my teeth into a game for the rest of break and actually get like immersed in it. You know the kind of thing where like you wake up and you're like, I'm gonna make myself a coffee and I'm gonna start my game.
Dan
Yeah.
Mary
And I'm good. And I'm go where I was yesterday. Like a full time job game. And I ended up getting Link's Awakening due to Dan's recommendation. And I actually played.
Dan
Wait, Link's Awakening's Awakening?
Mary
Yes.
Mike
The remake.
Dan
That's one of my least favorite Zelda games. Why would I have recommended that?
Mary
I. You just said one of one of your links.
Dan
I didn't say Link to the Past.
Mike
I saw that you mentioned that. I don't remember Dan. I think Dan said Link to the Past.
Dan
Awakening.
Mike
I remember it. It was Link between worlds that Dan and I were both gushing about. Yeah, I was on 3Ds.
Mary
I played Link's Awakening.
Dan
The original or the remake.
Mary
Five days. The remake.
Dan
It's fine. The remake's better than the original, but yeah, it's one of the lesser Zelda games.
Mike
No, we were gushing about Link between Worlds. I remember that.
Mary
I really struggled with it.
Mike
You did it just to like, so you could talk to Dan about it.
Dan
I didn't. People get so ma Grub loves Link's Awakening. I'm always like, it's one of the worst Zelda games.
Mike
I. So I. I loved it back in the day. I would always say it was one of my favorites just because I thought it would make me seem cool. I. I like, I was like, oh, I'll be. That's like the deep cut. That's like saying your favorite Red Hot Chili Peppers album is Monarchy of Roses. But then I played the remake and I was like, oh, I don't like this game.
Dan
No. I don't think I ever said a good thing about Link's Awakening.
Mike
The dungeon design, the island design.
Mary
Hard. It's so hard.
Mike
Oh, the. The Eagle's Tower or whatever is a terribly designed dungeon.
Mary
All of the dungeons are like, really convoluted and a lot of them are designed in a way. Like there's one that's designed with levels and if you fall on accident, you just.
Mike
That's what I'm talking about. The Eagles Tower or whatever. You're transporting the big metal balls and you can lose the metal balls.
Dan
Link between Worlds or Link to the Past. Those are awesome games.
Mary
You should have spent your time with those.
Mike
Those would have had amazing Christmas games.
Mary
Eight hour days. Playing Link's Awakening.
Dan
Insane.
Mike
Because you wanted to, like, come back and tell Dan that you acted on one of his recommendations, that even though.
Dan
I did not recommend it, I rolled credits on Tragic as God. So sorry you did that. I mean, I don't feel guilty because this is a you thing, but I didn't do. Roll the tape.
Mike
This is like. This is like you like, kissed your Christmas kind of.
Dan
I bet I would have said Link to the Past. Like, I love Link between Worlds, but I don't think she's traveling with a 3Ds, you know?
Mike
So like, it was probably like Link.
Mary
To the Past, though. And I remember, like, I thought that you were like, you know, there's Links, the past, links, Awakening. They're all good.
Mike
I might have mentioned that it's on Switch, but I don't remember him recommending it. No, I. I said they play Outer Wilds.
Mary
Oh, my God. I should have played rew.
Mike
Okay, these are all good games.
Mary
Aside from here's my take of Link's awakening is I did roll credits on it. It was very grueling and it was just one of those games where at first, the first time I needed a guide and I'm not like, I don't us. I usually like to just brute force my way through the game over time. But I was so lost, you guys. And this game has multiple components that are very like God help you if you're just meant to just game or figure this out. But there's this one part where you just have an item and you're supposed to trade it to other people items.
Dan
It's like a long quest of trading stuff. Yeah.
Mary
And there is a point in this where like I have. I don't even remember a stick. And I was like, I have no idea. Once this fucking stick. No, an actual wooden stick. And I just couldn't.
Mike
Someone needed to invent trees.
Mary
I could not figure out who needed this.
Mike
I was like, Mary, that was a callback to your.
Mary
Yeah, I needed to this stick. I did. I did. I'm very upset about this revelation that you guys didn't want me to play this game. It took a long time to get through this. I used guide I think four times. To be able to get like there was a dungeon that was the Eagle's Nest was impossible. The final dungeon is actually pretty impossible. And the. The giving the item to various people to get the final item, which you need to get through this game. The trading quest is fucking rude.
Dan
Obviously you give the stick to the person trying to get a honeycomb out of a tree.
Mary
I didn't know that. It's so crazy. And like there's a part where the. A person needs something and they're under a bridge. I've never been under the bridge before. I didn't even know you could go under that bridge. And so I, I needed the guide to be able to tell me to go to these certain places. Places. I didn't unlock a lot of the stuff in this game. By the time I opened the guide, they were like, just use your flute. What does he have?
Dan
Ocarina.
Mary
Use your ocarina. It's a very important term. Use your ocarina to just transport yourself. And I was like, what do you mean? And I guess there's like a way to get a song for your ocarina. Transport you. This whole game I've been raw dogging it walking.
Dan
Oh my God. You haven't fast traveled anywhere?
Mary
I never fast. Well, there's fast travel travel locations but you have to go to a fast travel location to get to another one. Apparently there was a song on your ocarina that would let you fast travel. I did not know that. I did not find that I had been walking. I mean, the step counter. My Fitbit was going nuts on this Zelda. I could not believe how long it took me to slog my way through this game. I did finish it. I am proud of the fact that I finished it, and I think the ending was very lovely and magical. However, it is a difficult game and I would never recommend this to, like, a teenager or young child. Like, they. They would never survive.
Mike
Yeah, I really don't even like the art style for that remake. The Fisher Price stuff.
Dan
I'm okay with the art style.
Mary
I thought it was cute, but I did. I. I thought it was too hard mechanically. I just couldn't believe how they don't explain anything as. As Mike was saying. The ball one where you. You have to. This is kind of a spoiler, but you have these balls, and you're supposed.
Mike
Giant metal balls.
Mary
Big, giant metal eagles Tower.
Dan
Yeah, that sounds right. Where you got to bring it around, throw it up floors and stuff.
Mike
But then there's like those little red and blue, like, roads, road blocks. You have to raise and lower, and then you drop all the way back.
Mary
It's either on blue or it's on orange. And if it's on orange, there are times in this, like, dungeon that if you have it on the wrong thing, you can go through a whole section with a boss fight and everything. And then right as you get there, you can't get through because it's on orange. And then you got to go all the way back, slap it to blue, and then you can get through. Like, it's mean. It's. It's almost mean. There's no way that they give you the hint to slip it to orange. They just, like, whatever, go through all this shit. And if you can't get through, then do it again on orange. It's a very cruel game.
Dan
Boy, I wish you would have played one of the ones we recommended.
Mike
You would have had a great Christmas.
Dan
Yeah, there's really great ones in that series.
Mary
Yeah, I really struggled through it two.
Mike
Days ago or something. You were playing Link's Awakening. I saw you. You showed the intro video of him on the log, waking up in the ocean, like, adrift. Yeah, you're like, on Dan's recommendation or something. And I was like.
Mary
I posted. I said, Dan recommended this. I said it publicly.
Dan
No, I famously don't like that game at all.
Mike
Yeah.
Dan
There's like 15 Zelda games and there's like at least 13 I would recommend before that.
Mary
I gotta stop drinking.
Dan
Wow.
Mike
Yeah.
Dan
It's one of the worst ones. Ones.
Mike
Yeah. But you can say you beat it now. Zelda 2 is there now.
Mary
It's in the. It's in the docket. I'll probably pick a different one now.
Dan
Now I'll recommend. I'm going to recommend Metal Gear Snake Eater and you're going to play Metal Gear Survive.
Mary
I know the difference.
Dan
Don't play the right one.
Mike
They're pretty different. But yeah. See.
Dan
Wow. Well, I'm proud of you.
Mary
Thank you. I did want you to say that.
Dan
Yeah.
Mary
Really upset about this.
Dan
Is this the new kissing it now that you don't have game?
Mike
Yeah.
Dan
Playing the wrong game.
Mike
We didn't play a game we actually told you not to play.
Mary
I thought that you would be excited for me.
Dan
I mean, I'm excited because this is funny, but.
Mike
Yeah.
Dan
Not because you played a good game.
Mike
Yeah, it's a fine game.
Dan
It's a fine game.
Mary
What else have you guys been playing?
Mike
I played. I. I'm almost to the end of the first Dishonored game. Still very good. I will say that having played a lot more dishonored 2, forgot how rudimentary dishonored 1 was compared to that in terms of the amount of abilities you have, how you can interact with the environment. But still, for a game from 2012, if memory serves, it's still pretty flexible in how you want to approach missions. And I'm not going to replay it, but I do really appreciate that on one mission, you can choose to save this woman who's being harassed by guards. And then later on she will help you access pretty difficult to reach area in a mission during a much more difficult objective that you're trying to complete. Also, just the level design across the board is pretty great. A lot more linear stuff in this game. Early on, there's the bridge level level, which I didn't love. But outside of that, the. The Masquerade party is still great. It's just giving me heavy Hitman vibes. Sure. Which is not never a bad thing. But yeah, no, I also still. I love that art style. Like I. You think I would go back and find it ugly, but I really like it. Even though it kind of has that smooth clay texture across. It works for that game surfaces. Yeah. Because then when they do bleed, it's like just splash across this like stark environment. But I love the. The Architecture. Same dude who did a lot of the Half Life 2 environments.
Dan
I remember it was really cool. You know, when we were doing covers for Game Informer, it was always a big decision, like what game goes on the COVID And McNamara at one point was. He had to decide between. It was like just a very safe, like the new Assassin's Creed or whatever and, and Dishonored. And I remember him thinking about it and he was like, you know, like, I kind of like the idea. Like, you know, Assassin's Creed is safe, but, you know, Dishonored sounds like this thing no one's ever heard of. But it looks cool. It's got some cool people working on it. Like, I think it'd be kind of cool to go with this like Underdog one. And he like kind of had the foresight to put that on there and it turned out to be a really cool decision.
Mike
Oh, dude. If a game with that, I mean a. The world building is so fucking cool. Like the steampunk Victorian plague ridden world in which. Which they still hunt whales. And that's a huge point of controversy within the game is really cool. I also just, if a game like that came out today that would be like, this is like pretty bold. This is great. I love it. Yeah. The, the. I don't know if there's one thing I geek out about in games, it's like cool level design, specifically in immersive sims. And these are still great. I'm look, I'm going to play Dishonored 2 and then death is the outside cider. I'm kind of doing like half non lethal, half lethal run. I'm not really sticking to one. I'm, I'm only occasionally reloading saves if I really want to do an objective a certain way. But I'm, I'm generally not trying to do like undetected or completely non lethal runs. I have done that before and it's just more fun to kind of go with the flow, but.
Dan
Nice.
Mike
Yeah, I'm loving it.
Mary
It's.
Mike
It's feeling like I'm just playing Hitman, but first person on, on a bunch of new Hitman levels.
Mary
But doesn't it have like a better like Hitman? Not that Hitman has any flaws, but doesn't it have like a really solid just beginning to end story that I think is quite gripping?
Mike
Oh yeah, it's more of a, there's more of a script than Hitman has for sure. You're like rescuing the kidnapped. You were framed, hence the name. But then two, you get to choose between continuing to play as Corvo or playing as Emily. And their powers are pretty different. It's almost like that game had, A, you can replay it to try objectives differently and maybe go non lethal when you went lethal, but also B, replay it as the other character. Similar to Resident Evil 2. If Resident Evil 2, you know, Jill and Leon had. Or not. Jill, Jill, Resident Evil 2. Am I getting that wrong?
Dan
Jill, Claire was in 2.
Mike
Claire, Jill was in 3. Like, if Claire and Leon had different abilities In Resident Evil 2, it would be that same kind of replayability. But, yeah, I'm enjoying the hell out of it. But, yeah, the story is still pretty compelling. I remember, too, ramping things up more. But it makes me wish when, like, Arcane, Austin and Leon were firing on all cylinders, you know, Redfall was a travesty for many reasons. And, you know, say what you will about Xbox taking over and imparting some timelines on them that might not have worked. I don't know the full story, but I don't know. I love those games. I love Prey, I love Arkane, Austin, their work. So nice.
Dan
Yep.
Mike
Dan, what else have you been playing?
Dan
I played all of mouthwashing in one sitting. Have you folks heard of this?
Mary
No.
Dan
Okay. It's on paper. Sounds extremely not like a me game. It is a almost all narrative, serious story, dark, some serious, serious topics it delves into. But it was like two hours long. A little over two hours long. And I just saw some screenshots and I saw people talking about it in a way where it's like, it sounds like this game's doing some stuff pretty interesting. And just seeing the screenshots, it's kind of almost like PS1 aesthetic. And I was just kind of intrigued by the screenshots and the way people were talking about it. And it was the break, and I was like, you know, I could just sit down and beat this in a couple hours. Let's just see what this is all about. And it's a, you know, dark sci fi story. I won't spoil anything. Basically, it's just about a ship that crashes and things are bad and they're hoping for rescue and they're just trying to survive. There's like a handful of people on this ship. All of these characters are incredibly well written and very, very quickly. Just a lot of depth is achieved with all these characters, and it's very economical in how it gets stuff across. And a couple hours, you come to know all these characters and you will have turns on like, oh, I like this guy. And like, oh wait, no wait, is this guy terrible? And it's like, oh, this guy, he's, this guy sucks. He's a, he's a menace. And it's like, oh wait, that's actually really sad. And like, but in an effective way. Like, I am not really affected by game stories much in this one. Like, I really was drawn to the characters and their stories and where it goes. It's told very kind of like nonlinear like, you know, that Tarantino Pulp Fiction style where it's like, oh, here's five days before the crash. Here's six months after the crash. And it is very dark and again deals with some serious issues, but it's fucking cool. It's.
Mary
What's the gameplay?
Dan
You're walking around the ship and it'll be like someone's like, hey, can you go get this thing from the medical room? And you go to the medical room and some horrible shit's going on. And then it flashes to another time period like you know, after the crash or something. And then you're just having a conversation with like the medic. And then it flashes forward to like, oh, we need to like break into this room with these like pods and see if we can still use them to escape. And all this foam has filled the cabin. We need to chop it up with a, like it's, there's very little actual game. It's a lot of walking through things and talking. In fact, there's a couple kind of like gamey parts. And those are actually maybe my least favorite parts of the game where it's kind of like, it's not really stealth, but it's kind of like if you fuck up, it's like you got to restart.
Mike
It's like if PlayStation 1 graphics collided with Event Horizon, collided with what remains of Edith Finch.
Dan
Yeah, it's not.
Mike
Did you play that?
Dan
I did, yeah. I like Ed. Yeah, yeah, it's, I, I, I don't want to say too much because I think it would spoil a lot, but I just do think it was like one of my, one of the most well told stories I think I've seen in a game. And I really do want to, to plug that because it's, it's very, very unique.
Mike
It looks cool. Sounds up my alley.
Dan
I think, I think you would like, I think you might both find it pretty interesting.
Mary
It looks like the Twilight Zone movie. Like it looks so odd and all over the place, but in a good way.
Dan
Yeah, that's part of what got me curious is just the whole design. It's just like, what's going on here? You know?
Mike
How long did it take you?
Dan
A little over two hours, I would say.
Mike
Okay, yeah, I'm into that. I'm into short games these days when I'm playing other long form stuff.
Dan
Runs Grand Steam Deck. I would love to if you guys find a couple hours.
Mike
God. Jesus Christ. Sorry.
Mary
What?
Mike
Oh, one of the Steam videos of this, like, I'm on the game Steam page and one of the. I didn't realize I was on a video and it just started suddenly with people screaming and loud noises. Scared the shit out of me.
Dan
Oh, yeah, Yeah.
Mike
I want to play that even more now.
Dan
I wouldn't call it a scary game. It is unsettling for sure. It is. It is dark. But there is some humor in it too. I would. I would love, if you are intrigued, either of you, if you've got a couple hours between now and next recording, I'd be curious what you think of it because very impressed.
Mike
Okay, I might check that out. Looks good.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
Mary, you play anything else besides Link's Awakening?
Mary
God damn it. To more. Just. Just more the same. It's still going. I. It's still extraordinarily good and I'm just loving it and I don't know, I thought I was going to beat it and I didn't, so I still have more to play, but I've been enjoying the experience and it's. It's been a joy to. To relive that game with updated graphics. That's it. That's all I have to say. Still good.
Mike
Okay.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
I'm just playing Dishonored. What's Tricky Madness?
Dan
Oh, just very quickly. It's an early access thing. It is. If you look up a picture of it, tell me what you think of Mike. It's exactly what it looks like. I want to see if you immediately. It's early access. It's got two courses. I'll wait till Mike pulls it up. So. Because I think it's the most, like, almost legally actionable, I don't know if I want to say ripoff or it's. I think they would probably like to say homage. I'm sorry, Mike looks confused, so I assume he's not an SSX guy. It's ssx.
Mike
Oh, wait, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I looked up Tricky Madness on Google and it pulled up a very different thing. There's something else called Tricky the Clown Madness. Combat Wiki.
Dan
Oh, it's.
Mike
Then I put Tricky Menace Game and then it's like oh, yeah, ssx. It looks. I loved ssx. Tricky.
Dan
Giant floating snowflake point multipliers and grinding and just like it feels exactly like ssx. And I was just. Even though it's just a quick little like early access thing, I was like, fuck, Yes, I love SSX. Cool. Borders amp Dark Summit 1080. All those snowboarding games, there was a real era there and they just don't do them the way they used to. And I am fine if it's just a shameless like, hey, remember this because I want more of that. So I will be following the development of that.
Mike
I was like 2013's SSX kind of. They went so grounded. Yeah. And like I.
Dan
You're equipping yourself with like a temperature gear and stuff. It's just like. It's like this is not why I play SSX.
Mike
No, I want tricky. I want to get like 30 miles of hang time and then.
Dan
And then do the worm on a board. Board?
Mike
Yeah.
Mary
You do the worm on a board?
Dan
Yeah, the Uber moves.
Mike
Yeah. Oh, who was my favorite? I liked Mac. I liked.
Dan
He struck me as a Simon guy.
Mike
Simon? Which one?
Dan
C S Y M O N. Simon. I think Billy Zane might have been his voice. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a mic guy right there.
Mike
No ss. I like Mac. And then what was her name? Sex. Tricky.
Dan
Elise was good.
Mike
I liked Elise. Oh yeah.
Dan
I think I was in a lease main. Yeah.
Mike
Dweeb and Elise made is at least. Oh yeah, I see. Oh, that's really.
Dan
Was an ssx. Holy out of context.
Mike
I'm sure people know exactly what I'm talking about when I say I'm a.
Dan
Dwee dweeb from the on. Foxes, everyone.
Mike
The odd foxes. Yeah. It was one of fire Escape's top 10 games.
Dan
Many awards that has won and been talked about for.
Mike
Oh God, we keep. We keep discovering new secrets in that game.
Dan
Somebody should change. If you look up Dweeb out Foxies, there is a. A profile picture if anyone wants to use it. Just Dweeb and a top hat and a bow tie, holding a banana, staring at the screen all pixelated. That is a fantastic picture of the man.
Mike
Yeah, that's good.
Mary
Oh yeah.
Mike
That's 241 by 185. But yeah, that's whatever. Yeah. When we showed up at. We were showing up rather at Dan's for Game of the Year. I got there first, I was like, let's play the Al Foxy. I think he like laughed as if I was joking.
Dan
Yeah, we're playing.
Mike
Yeah, yeah, let's let's run it back.
Mary
You think this is a game? Put it in.
Mike
I put him in a human cannon at a circus level and shot. Shot him.
Dan
Trapeze that you can play with. Yeah, it's fun.
Mary
I only played it for, like, maybe another two hours, but on the way home, I played Grindstone again. I don't know if you guys ever played that back in the day, but it's still such an easy go to game. Like, you know, people pull up Vampire Survivors just to play it for like an hour.
Dan
Oh, yeah.
Mary
Grind. You can play Grindstone in a fucking second, and it's still so good.
Dan
I loved it. Yeah, I'm not. I didn't list it as my games, but you mentioned Vampire Survivors. I'm literally at, like, almost 70 hours now in the last few weeks of just playing, like, doing all the vampire survivor stuff again.
Mary
That's crazy.
Dan
I also beat two Castlevania games during break, so it's like all this old stuff. I've still been playing, but I don't want to be like, hey, Castlevania is still good.
Mary
It turns out that's what I'm doing with Silent Hill. I mean, I just, like, every once in a while. I only said it once. I only did it once. It's not. I. You guys said so many Zelda games. I wrote them all down, and it's just in the list.
Dan
You wrote them all down and then didn't play anything? Any of those.
Mary
I wrote. You must have brought it up.
Dan
I.
Mike
There's.
Dan
I'd love to check the tape.
Mike
I want to go back to that. I try and remember. What would that have been? The email section?
Dan
It would have been probably near the end, I think. I. I bet Mary's like, oh, I got to find something to play during break.
Mike
I'll review it.
Dan
Link to the past link. Got it. Link's awakening.
Mary
The end of the episode is literally nothing but you suggesting games to me.
Mike
Okay.
Mary
You tossing out trash at me.
Mike
We'll go back and look.
Dan
No, we gave you gold and you found trash. I.
Mike
We sent you to San Francisco, came back with a buffalo chip. All right, you guys want to do emails?
Mary
Yeah, I swear.
Mike
Okay. Okay, as usual. Okay, as usual, you can run into. Okay, as usual, you can go to firescapecastmail.com for questions, comments, stuff you want read on the episodes. We've got a bunch in the last few episodes and still working through them, but keep those coming. Mary. Actually, I guess I can read this because it's in response to. It's not A question. They're talking about my sleepwalking we discussed on last episode. So I'll get through this one, then we can get to questions. Hi, I'm actually a sleep specialist and I just thought I'd provide some possible cause causes. Sleepwalking is a semi common phenomena with about one in 50 encountering it in their lives. The most common cause is usually a crossed wire causing the body to be active in deep parts of its REM cycle. With Mike, though, it's probably blood loss from his brain because of a massive stiffy. All the best, Dr. Karp Strongman. Nice. Thank you, Dr. Strongman.
Mary
Thank you, doctor.
Dan
Dr. Karp Strongman. I hope that's his government name.
Mary
That's very mantis toboggan of him to come up with a name like that, that Mary.
Mike
Do you want to read this next one from Jerry? Sure.
Mary
It starts odd. Is this intentional? It says also.
Dan
Oh, no, just. I think it's just the Mary.
Mike
Yeah. No. Okay, well, no, read that and then I'll provide context because it's kind of funny.
Mary
Here's the. Here's the.
Mike
Here's what I put in our doc in the run a show.
Mary
Also, if the above question proves a.
Mike
Bit problematic and let me just say it was. That's why I did not include.
Dan
Now I'm curious.
Mike
It's not that bad, but like, it' What? You got to say it.
Dan
Then what is it?
Mike
Oh, okay. No, no, no.
Dan
Let's do.
Mike
Let's do this.
Dan
I'm gonna look at it. I'm gonna look at it. That.
Mike
It's not that bad. No, we'll save it for after. We'll go back. But I just thought it's kind of funny to start with that. Like I. I cut.
Mary
It's a Mar. It's a Mary kill.
Dan
Oh, I see. Okay. Yeah, it's. It's not good.
Mike
So. So I included the one that's not about people here because I think that.
Dan
There'S a Mary kill about actual human beings, which is a little.
Mike
They're actors. We've discussed. But I just thought it might be in poor taste.
Mary
You're so literal. Come it. Oh, wait. Okay. So this. So I figured, yeah, here's a Mary kill for us to debate. Here we go. It's Mary kill. Stouffer's Mac and cheese. Velveeta cheese and shells. Mac and cheese pizza.
Dan
Okay, I think I have mine. Well, okay. So is this a literal thing? You were just calling me like we're literally having sex with this?
Mike
No, no, no, no. That I think, like, what. What would you have?
Mary
The one that you'd want to have for the rest of your life. The one that you would like to have one amazing night with, and the one you'd have that you would have to sacrifice, and it would never exist on the face of this earth ever again. And I also think, just because food is a bit weird, I think it's the one that you would. You would get to eat five nights a week and enjoy. Whereas one is like, you can only have it once, but it's so nice, but you don't actually want to have it five nights a week. That would be too much.
Dan
I was taking it too literally. And I was trying to think of which of these would be the best to put my penis into.
Mary
Yes, I know, we know that.
Dan
And I was thinking pizza, because you could wrap it around, but okay, we're.
Mike
Talking because you get sink in. Get in there.
Mary
Oh, look at Mr. Deep Dish.
Dan
Get in there.
Mike
Did you just say deep dish? Laughing at that for. If you want to subscribe to Fire Escape's Patreon, just go to deepdishpussy.com let's.
Dan
Register that and have it go to our merch page.
Mike
Okay, let me. Do not Google that. I'm going to hover while you guys are. Dan, you do the Mac and cheese thing. I'm gonna go.
Dan
All right. Well, I think, you know, Stouffer's gonna.
Mike
Be fun to talk to our accountants. What is this expense that you. Oh, no, it's just.
Dan
We're artists.
Mary
Yeah, It's a write off. It's a write off.
Dan
It's funny that Kraft Mac and Cheese isn't on here, because that is the one I've probably had the most in my life. So if it's just these Stouffer's, Velveeta, and Mac and cheese pizza, I think the Mary is definitely Stouffer. That has historically been my favorite. That's the one. When I go back for Thanksgiving, my grandma makes Stouffer's Mac and cheese just for me still. And the rest of people have, like, you know, grown up food. Yeah. Ooh. So between Velveeta shells and cheese and Mac and cheese pizza for fuck and kill. Well, again, if it's literal, I'm going with the pizza.
Mary
Stop. It's not. We've discussed this.
Dan
Okay, then it's one crazy night. I don't want to kill it. You know what? Mac and cheese pizza is fine, but it's a gimmick I don't like. I like it. But if I'm getting a pizza, I'd rather just get a real ass picture. Pizza. I'll kill the Mac and cheese. Pizza. I will fornicate with Velveeta shells and cheese.
Mike
Yeah, I would fornicate Velveeta as well.
Mary
I agree with Dan's assessment. Stouffer's is taken home to the parents. Velveeta is for one sexy night and, like, you just have to kill the pizza.
Dan
But now I also have all these Mac and cheese memories of breaking bones and getting food poisoning. So I'm starting to have a complicated relationship with Mac and cheese.
Mike
Okay, thank you, Jerry.
Mary
From purchasing a website. Yeah.
Dan
Deep dish.
Mike
Grotesque.
Dan
Is it on sale? Can we get it?
Mike
I can't.
Mary
Is it.
Mike
Sign in right now.
Mary
Is it on sale?
Dan
Is there a new year sale on deep dish.com?
Mary
50% off.
Mike
A big blowout sale in January.
Dan
Deep Dish, 60% off. It's such a gross term.
Mary
Well, one of us was trying to. A pizza, Dan.
Dan
Oh, just say. I was answering the question like a gentleman.
Mike
Mary, can you read the next one while I work on that?
Mary
Yes.
Mike
I don't want people to scoop it.
Mary
Up and happy 2025. Please quash this between my fiance and I, once and for all. Is banana bread. Consider bread or cake? I say cake. He says bread best, Cami. Thanks. Cami. I think this is a convoluted question because the name of the item in question says bread. So thus you might say it's bread. Yeah, but to Cami's point, if you were to eat this, you would not eat, like, a slice of banana bread like you would a slice of regular bread bread. Because it's not really.
Dan
Who's eating just a slice of bread.
Mary
You know, for breakfast? Like, with a.
Dan
You put on. I had. Yeah, but you put stuff on it.
Mary
Or, like, you put, like, you, like, dip it in soup or something. You know what I mean? Like, you would never have. No, that's the thing. That's why I think it might be cake, because bread is something that you like. Dip with soup, or you make a sandwich out of it. I would never make a sandwich out of banana bread. That's crazy town. So it is kind of cake.
Dan
Like, I. I can't argue with the name. It's. It's banana bread. It's right there. It's like Super Mario World 2. Yoshi's Island. It's right there in the name.
Mary
I think I can. I. I wouldn't. I. Oh, I have banana bread as dessert. I make it a couple times A year when I'm running out of bananas. It's iconic to have with, like, breakfast if you put some butter on it as like a little sweet treat in the morning or after dinner treat, but it's not a bread situation. However, it does rise like bread. Mike, don't you make banana bread all the time? I think you have to be the tiebreaker.
Mike
Yeah. Sorry, I was distracted. Are you saying it's bread or cake?
Mary
Okay, so I. Even though I agree with Dan that banana bread has bread in the name, so it should be bread. I think it's cake because it. It just has too many cake qualities. It's sweet, and I. And I eat it like dessert.
Mike
Yeah, that's tough. I would lean toward bread just because of the geometry of it and how I eat it. I. I don't know that I eat it for dessert, but it's definitely leans toward, like a sweet dish cake. I think, like, there's frosting involved. It's something I'm eating with a fork.
Mary
Bread often does have, like, a little cream cheese topping.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
I don't know. I actually, the more I think about.
Mary
Chocolate chips in it, it's crazy.
Mike
The more I think about it, the more I'm being swayed toward cake. Even though I would have said as a knee jerk bread, maybe it's cake.
Dan
I'm sticking with bread. It's in the name. Can't argue with the name.
Mike
You can't?
Mary
Are you. You can, though. There's got to be other examples of food.
Dan
I follow the rules.
Mary
The name is wrong.
Dan
Nope, it's the name.
Mike
Okay, that's. God, I feel grotesque typing that domain in. Oh, no. Dot com. Ooh, I can get it. Dot com?
Mary
All right. It's so hard to get dot com.
Dan
Deepdishy.com?
Mike
I can get. Deep Dishpussy Online is much cheaper.
Dan
Pretty funny, too.
Mike
Deep Disheartener.
Dan
Deepditchpussy Online is funny.
Mike
Deep Dishpussy Store. Deepdishpussy.IO Stop it.
Dan
Many of these are funny.
Mike
I'm trying to show you. I could just get dot com. Let's do it.
Dan
How expensive is.com?
Mary
Making financial decisions with ever with our patrons?
Dan
I think it makes sense.
Mike
I, as the person who oversees finance here at this wonderful company, run the numbers.
Dan
We don't need a team dinner at game of the year this year.
Mary
I do social media.
Mike
Sure. Check out. Okay. What a forward.
Mary
I tweet gamers be farting every two weeks and call it a life.
Dan
Hell, yeah.
Mike
All right. I think I got.
Mary
I worked hard Today Mike's been doing our taxes.
Mike
Yeah, it's not. It's not lost on me. I got. It's processing.
Dan
Oh, my God.
Mike
Oh, I got it now. I got to set up the forward before.
Dan
Yeah. So we can tell people at the end of this episode. Go to deepdishpussy.com should it go to our Patreon? Probably.
Mike
It will. Yeah.
Mary
I don't want to own this.
Dan
We as a group own. You own a third of deep dish.com.
Mary
No.
Mike
How do I do that? This. This is. Okay. View all domains firescapecast.com and deepdishpussy.com edit wait, where's fuckjake.org oh no.
Dan
Jake has fuckjake.org that's it.
Mike
I forgot how to do this. I'll ask you guys after.
Dan
Okay. We'll get to. We'll have a business meeting after.
Mike
Oh, wait. No forward this time. Here we go. Forwarding to patreon.com fire escapecast. Did I do that? Save forward request required.
Mary
So easy. Anyone can do it.
Mike
I think. I think I got it. I don't know how long you want to give it a test. Does it activate right away?
Dan
Let's see. Mary, go to deepdishpussy.com it's fun to say. DDP DDP.
Mary
Don't deep dish.
Dan
DDP. DDP.
Mary
It's loading. I don't know why think so hard.
Mike
Why is it that combination of words has never been typed into a search engine before?
Mary
Yeah, I'm like on a list somewhere for sure.
Mike
Oh yeah, still loading. Taking a few. It might.
Dan
It might take a second. We'll check again.
Mike
We'll try. We will have it ready, but. Okay. It's a totally awesome idea. Still being worked on. Check back later. So I think we got it. We could tell.
Mary
Great.
Dan
Excellent.
Mike
Okay, good work. One more email. Thank you. I'm. Yeah, that's why I'm here. I got one more. Yeah, I'm going to go. Cake with banana bread, I think.
Mary
All right, let's hear it for. Cammie was right.
Mike
Thank you, Cammie. All right. My. This is from Nathan. My New Year's resolution is to reach 1000 albums listened to by the end of 2025. I started keeping track of everything I listened to a couple years ago and I'm at about 600 right now, so aiming for 400 total in 2025. Still very tall order. Any album recommendations that are personal favorites of yours? I'm curious. Besides the few bands I've already heard you mention, eg, Queens of the Stone Age. Talking Heads. What are you all interested in? Musically?
Mary
My Spotify Unwrapped was ass.
Mike
One of my favorite albums of the last decade is Evil Friends by Portugal Demand. I think it's a perfect album. I don't think there are any flaws on it. It's also just listening through it front to back. It's. It's an incredible. Not super long, I want to say 45 minutes tops. Great album. Evil Friends.
Dan
I'll say the same one that I bought Ben Hansen for the Min Max video where he sent me to a record store. And that's How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful by Florence the Machine. I think all of their albums are incredible, but this was the one that got me introduced to her in the band. And I just think even the first two tracks are just absolutely incredible. And the rest of the album is great too. And all the other ones are awesome.
Mary
I probably have mentioned this before, but my favorite album that I always go to is the Machinarium soundtrack by Thomas Dvorak. And I think it's absolutely brilliant. I think it is so lovely and it really does capture a combination of musical ingenuity, but also just like strange mechanical sounds, like tones. It sounds like somebody was like hitting pipes. And I just love the way that it makes me feel. And most of the time when someone asks me what I should listen to if I'm in their car, I asked them to put that album on.
Dan
Nice.
Mary
Yeah, I. I find it calming. I also listen to it in the airport. It's like the only thing that I want to listen to when I'm in the airport. I don't know why. Yeah.
Dan
Oh, and if they're looking for other albums, my brother in law, Tom Monda, who did the theme song for this podcast, check out his band, thank you Scientist. And they put out a double album called Terraformer a few years ago that check out if you like prog rock.
Mary
Oh, how lovely. Oh, wait, let me do one.
Mike
Let me do one.
Mary
Yeah, you do one.
Mike
One of my favorite bands, Future Islands, Samuel Herring's singing is incredible. They've got many good albums. I'd say if you want to listen to one, that every single song is a banger. The album is literally just called Singles. If you've heard a song by them, it might be Seasons waiting on you. That's the one that they kind of blew up on because they went on Letterman and he just went, that's Letterman.
Dan
Loved it.
Mike
It's a really good song. I think Bono called it a miracle. I don't know if you take Bono's word with anything with a grain of salt these days, but that singles, their album is literally just a bunch of like one off incredible singles. But 2020's as long as yous Are is one of my favorite albums by them.
Dan
Trying to remember is that did Letterman yell at him about the dance? He's like, give me all of that you got.
Mike
Yep, that was him at the end. I love that. He's like, oh, oh yeah.
Dan
He was really good.
Mike
I'll take all that you got. Yeah. But as long as you are is there is more of a cohesive album. But I'm not saying that in like an, you know, up their own ass way. They're all really good songs. It's just more. There's more like pacing variations as opposed to just like catchy song after catchy song after catchy song.
Dan
Cool.
Mary
I think it's like there's so many good albums and what a cool. Is that like a New Year's resolution to see? I. I just think that's a really neat resolution. Most of the time resolutions are boring. Like I'm going to drink less, I'm going to better myself. I love the ones where it's just like I'm going to eat everything off of the Cheesecake Factory menu in 2025. And it's like, God bless you. You know, you found something that makes you happy. And like listening to that many albums I think will be very enjoyable. And I am happy for you.
Dan
Oh, I was gonna say that would be three a day, but I think they're saying a thousand total and. No, Nathan was saying they're at 600 right now and wants to hit a thousand.
Mike
They have 400 this year. They're aiming to finish a thousand, buddy.
Dan
Slightly over one of the.
Mary
Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, I think that's great. I mean, I'm sure there's other like valuable albums I'm trying to think of like ones that. The thing is is like a lot of times I'm always like, this is an incredible artist. Or like, you're gonna really love this song. It's not often that I'm like, this album is a work of art. That is something that I think that I personally just don't think I'm as successful at recommending. There's not a lot of times where I listen to a very specific album from beginning to to end because I think it's so important and I'd like to get better at that. So it's kind of like a nice push for me to, like, be a more learned person.
Mike
Yeah. And if you're gonna. Sorry about my coughing. If you. You've definitely heard me talk about Talking Heads often. They're my favorite band of all time, but I do think Speaking In Tongues, their album, is probably my favorite, which is not an uncommon opinion, but I do think it's just incredible. Incredible gets very weird, but it just makes me. I. I go through, like, 18 moods listening to that album. But, like, David Byrne, his songwriting is incredible. The whole band is just, like. Goes between, like, really ethereal songs, and all of a sudden these weird paranoiac songs that just kind of, like, the guitar is doing one thing, and then, like, Jerry Harrison's doing one thing, and then you got Tina Waymouth is playing completely different song, but it's still somehow all works. Just melds together in an amazing way. I love that album.
Mary
Oh, wait, I got one. When I'm in a mood and I need to, like, listen to something, I usually go for an album, and it's Pantera. Vulgar. Vulgar Display of Power.
Dan
Great cover, too, for that album.
Mary
Yeah, dude, it's. It's actually a fantastic album from beginning to end. That's probably the only one I can think of off the top of my head where it's like, damn, what a solid piece of art that will make you rage in your car if needed, or sleep peacefully, depending on your mental. I just think that Vulgar Display of Power is incredible. So please put that on your list if you have.
Dan
That's got Walk on there. Yeah, I love Walk.
Mary
Oh, what a good one. There's so many. There's so many good ones on it. And it's also just like, this love is actually, like, so beasty. It's so beast mode. I love. I love a lot of songs on that one, so.
Mike
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, good luck to Nathan. Let us know how that's going. That's our show. As we mentioned before. Firescapecastmail.com if you want to have questions right on the show, we got a bunch, but keep them coming. We always love having a selection to pick from the beginning before we record each episode.
Mary
And they're fun to read, even if we don't actually end up answering them. We're like, that's funny. And, like, we read them all. We read every email.
Mike
Yep. And if you want to become a patron because you want to just have every episodes or the video version, if you're not already watching a video version and seeing Gizmo being a creep in the dance background or my cat's showing up. Or sometimes Simone. Although it's been a while since I've seen Simone. You can go to.
Mary
Back there.
Mike
Yeah, you can go to. Or if you just want to treat like a tip jar because you appreciate what we do, you can go to deepdishpussy.com and to become a patron. So, yeah, have fun with that. I regret saying that we should make.
Dan
A bumper sticker that's just deep dish.
Mary
No, we will not.
Dan
Impact font. No fire escape anything.
Mary
Impact font.
Dan
Yeah. Black background, white impact font, all caps, deepdishpussy.com. nothing else. We need to sell that.
Mary
It's an image of Dan trying to a pizza.
Dan
No, no, no. It needs to be simple. Simplicity is key here.
Mary
You're like the Gerber baby.
Dan
What?
Mike
What?
Mary
Wait, no, the one where it's a baby and it's like. It's like getting suntan lotion on. It's just.
Dan
That's the copper tone.
Mary
The Coppertone baby.
Dan
And they're like a dog pulling the pants down. So.
Mary
Yeah, something like that.
Dan
Okay, so my penis would be the underpants, and the dog would be a pizza.
Mary
Well, no, the dog isn't there, and there's a pizza, but you're like, oh.
Dan
I'm being sassy about it. Okay. Yeah. Oh, oops, the pizza. That bumper sticker. Oops, comma, the pizza. White, all caps, impact font.
Mike
With Dan's face.
Dan
No, just the text.
Mike
No, dance face.
Mary
Dan Reichert's face and name and Social Security number, family tree, and a list of his fears.
Mike
All right.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
It's still redirecting, but we'll have it. It'll be. Deep dish will be up and up and at him.
Mary
Oh, my God. I can't.
Mike
As of this. As of this episode. Going up. Get in there.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
Oh. We watched the final season of what we do in the shadows. They. They go hard on what's his name? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They. They go really hard on Colin Robinson. It's a really good season. I love that show. I'm gonna miss it. I'm gonna keep rewatching it, though.
Mary
If you watch it ended it. I think they ended it, Dan. On time. I will say that. I will say this with, like, so much respect. I absolutely adore that show. It was time, and I. And I'm glad that they. That they ended it, but I also think it. I will miss it, too, but I.
Dan
It.
Mary
It was ready, Dan.
Mike
I. Honestly, next time you have a gap, it's six seasons. You don't have to watch all but they're 20 minute episodes. It's not long and it's 11 episodes a season. I think 20 minutes sounds like a good treadmill show.
Dan
Once you know Seinfeld here.
Mike
Right. When I thought I was annoyed and done with mockumentaries. Taika Waititi and Jermaine Clement from. Obviously you know who Taika Waititi is, but Jermaine Clement. Yeah, those guys.
Dan
I don't really know Taika Waititi. I know Jermaine Clement.
Mike
Ah, Taik Waiti. Jojo Rabbit.
Dan
I forgot the name. I just don't think I've seen any of his stuff.
Mike
Yeah, New Zealand crew. They. They did the movie with three guys back in the day. Jermaine Clement was one of the vampires, but living in a house in I think Auckland or no. What's Wellington Maybe. I don't know. In New Zealand.
Dan
Started the movie and didn't love it. Is it?
Mike
That's way drier. That's very much like the British office to the British office.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
I don't know. Check it out. Watch like a few episodes. There's four.
Mary
Loved the movie.
Mike
Vampires living in Staten island and in this mission in this mansion. But I think Mark Proaks take Colin Robinson. Takes a few episodes to come along, but I can give it a shot.
Dan
If it's 20 minutes long. That's easy.
Mary
It takes a couple episodes for you to get adjusted to them. I think that is fair. Like it graded on me at first and then I fell in love with it. It just takes a bit of time.
Mike
I love to write it. I like all the characters, like nausea. I think Laszlo is fucking hilarious. Matt Berry is incredible in it. I never watched the IT crowd, but he's just great and everything. Also Matt Berry, if you're talking about music, his music is incredible. He plays like this blues, jazz, kind of like. I don't even know, like punky music. And it's. It's incredible. Look up Matt Berry on Spotify.
Dan
I don't think I've seen him anything.
Mike
You'd recognize his face. I think he was in the IT crowd. He's been in a bunch of movies, but he's very British. But he's Laszlo Cravensworth in what we do in the Shadows. He's really funny.
Dan
No, I haven't seen this guy.
Mary
Laszlo's.
Mike
There's like YouTube compilations of how he mispronounces things and what we do in the sh. And then Nandor the Relentless is really funny too.
Dan
New York City.
Mike
You really are the most devious bastard in New York City.
Mary
Yeah, he puts the emphasis on the last syllable no matter what he says.
Mike
When he goes. He goes into hiding in Arizona and he just puts the toothpick in. And his wife doesn't recognize him anymore. He's. And he's got the Southern accent. He's like. That's just the way we talk in Tucson, Arizona. Anyway, I could go forever. The show's really funny.
Mary
I could go forever, baby.
Mike
I could go forever, baby. You got me all wrong. All right, that's deepdishpussy.com to be a patron. Fire escapemerch.com to get some sweet threads. We don't have bumper stickers yet. We should get some. And then we will be back in two weeks with episode 99. Guys, we got a We gotta talk about episode coming.
Dan
Yeah, let's get a. We'll get a plan locked in by the time we record the next episode. Episode. So we can plug it properly.
Mike
Yes. And. Yeah. And in two episodes, we'll be dropping a fat Benjamin on everybody. So we're looking forward to that.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
But anyway, Mary, what do you have going on outside of Fire Escape Cast?
Mary
I'm still playing Silent Hill every Monday and on Twitch. And I enjoy that. And you can find me doing updates in other places with my name, Mary Kish.
Mike
There we go. It works. It's official.
Dan
What about you, giantbomb.com to start a new season of Blight Club. I'm dressing up like a Terminator currently and playing a bad Terminator 3 game, so. And then I have to play another game after that outside of that. Twitch, Instagram, Blue Sky, Dan Reichert. That's where I am everywhere. Cool.
Mike
I'm here. That's about it. Oh, actually, I officially started wine certification classes. Did I tell you guys this?
Dan
Yeah.
Mary
Yeah.
Dan
I should secretly do this and try to become a super wine guy before you. I would never talk about it.
Mike
Come in as a. As one of the instructors, and he's.
Mary
Like, I never went into a class. Every time I went to my teacher and was like, hey, I drank wine while I wasn't here, so why don't you just give me an A? You little. And then the teacher was like, sure, I don't give a about myself.
Mike
Yeah. Y.
Mary
Anyway, I can't tell you their name.
Mike
Because I drank a vogir. I had a few of them.
Mary
Yeah.
Mike
Oh, cool.
Dan
You're.
Mike
You're level three. Here's your certificate.
Mary
But yeah, it's a red wine because of the color.
Mike
Doing WSET. Level 3. I'm 4 know that I'm sure that means nothing 4 is a diploma I think I'll eventually do it but that'll just going to keep no master of wine is the only thing above diploma on that side no no I got.
Dan
Past that.
Mary
I'm king of wine what's.
Mike
The chief grape varietal in Sancerre in.
Dan
France they don't look you have to get further in the it's like Scientology they don't tell you the real until later they took me out on a boat and they told me they they.
Mike
Bloodborne you you got you accumulated too much insight you have to pay a.
Dan
Lot of money to get to the level I'm at and with knowledge so I can't just give it away for.
Mike
Free sir okay fair enough. Very fair. I'll I'll be there in a few years and then we'll hang out we'll talk we'll talk wine we'll talk at the party.
Dan
Yeah.
Mike
All right. Well that's our episode everybody. Thanks as always for hanging out. We'll see you in a couple weeks. Until then, happy New Year.
Mary
Happy New.
Release Date: January 13, 2025
Hosts: Dan Ryckert, Mary Kish, Mike Mahardy
Podcast: Fire Escape Cast
Episode Length: Approximately 112 minutes
The episode kicks off with Mary Kish attempting to discuss a game she played over the break but struggling to recall its name due to her Nintendo Switch being out of battery. The hosts engage in a playful debate trying to guess the game's title, eventually amusingly referring to it as "Blobcat."
Notable Quote:
Mary shares her experience visiting Leavenworth, Washington—a former prison town transformed into a charming, Bavarian-style Christmas village. She describes the idyllic setting filled with snow, festive activities, and picturesque mountain landscapes, contrasting it with her memory of being worried about the town's prison history.
Notable Quotes:
Dan Ryckert reveals an old screenshot from 2002, showcasing a self-critical comment he made on a student filmmaking forum. The comment disparages Stanley Kubrick’s films, demonstrating Dan’s past snobbishness about film appreciation. The hosts humorously express regret over their younger selves' behavior.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to introspection about how their personalities have evolved since their teenage years. The hosts discuss how they would react if they met their 17-year-old selves, addressing themes of personal growth, changing interests, and overcoming past behaviors.
Notable Quotes:
The trio delves into various video games they've played, revisiting classics and newer titles. Mary attempts to play "Caddy Cass," a black-and-white platformer, but finds it underwhelming. Dan decides to revisit "Red Dead 2" on PC, appreciating its enhanced graphics and immersive details. Mike shares his experience with "Dishonored," praising its level design and soundscapes.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts transition to discussing listener emails, focusing on musical tastes and New Year’s resolutions. Nathan shares his goal to listen to 1,000 albums by the end of 2025, prompting Dan, Mary, and Mike to recommend their favorite albums. Recommendations include "Evil Friends" by Portugal. The Man, "How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful" by Florence + The Machine, and "Vulgar Display of Power" by Pantera.
Notable Quotes:
In the final segment, the hosts encourage listeners to engage via FireEscapeCastMail.com and promote their Patreon and merchandise at deepdishpussy.com and fireescapecast.com. They briefly discuss their extracurricular activities, such as Mary’s Twitch streaming of "Silent Hill" and Mike’s wine certification classes. The episode concludes with humorous interactions about potential future content and plans for upcoming episodes.
Notable Quotes:
Nostalgia vs. Growth: The hosts reflect on their past selves versus who they are now, highlighting personal growth and changing perspectives.
Gaming Evolution: Analysis of how video games have improved over time, especially regarding graphics and immersive storytelling. Personal anecdotes about revisiting old games with new technology.
Humor and Camaraderie: Throughout the episode, the trio employs humor to discuss both serious and light-hearted topics, strengthening their rapport and connection with listeners.
Listener Interaction: Encouragement for audience participation through emails, fostering a community around shared interests in gaming and personal stories.
Fire Escape Cast #98 offers a blend of nostalgic reflection, in-depth video game discussions, and personal anecdotes from the hosts. The episode underscores the importance of evolving interests and maintaining friendships despite changing personalities. With engaging banter and insightful commentary, the hosts provide both entertainment and meaningful discourse, making the episode valuable for both longtime listeners and newcomers.
Note: All timestamps and quotes are based on the provided transcript and are indicative of the episode's structure and content.