Astrology Could Save Your Love Life w/ Rosebud Baker | First Date with Lauren Compton

Summary

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First Date with Lauren Compton

Episode: Astrology Could Save Your Love Life w/ Rosebud Baker

Release Date: July 7, 2026 | Host: Lauren Compton | Guest: Rosebud Baker

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Episode Overview

This episode of First Date takes a raw, funny, and deeply personal look at divorce, dating after heartbreak, and how astrology can play into love lives. Comedian and author Rosebud Baker joins Lauren Compton for candid conversation about motherhood, navigating separation, self-discovery, and the complexities of dating as a strong, independent woman. They swap stories about divorce, parenting, personality red flags, and debate which astrological signs are most compatible. The tone remains relatable, unfiltered, and packed with memorable comedic moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Writing Memoirs & Navigating Motherhood

[00:51 - 02:39]

• Rosebud shares the long, chaotic journey of writing her memoir, Fully Baked, while going through life changes:
  • Book deal in Austin, SNL writing job, pregnancy, birth, and raising a baby.
  • Her writing process involved connecting pivotal moments in her pregnancy to stories about her past.

"When I was pregnant, I started remembering parts of my life that I had completely forgotten because pregnancy just does weird shit to you like that."
— Rosebud Baker [01:36]

2. Meeting (and Separating From) Her Husband

[03:20 - 06:42]

• Rosebud describes how she met her husband in the New York comedy scene; their connection grew at a wedding, and they married nine months after dating.
• The honesty kicks in: Rosebud and her husband are currently separated, a new and emotionally disorienting reality for her.

"I feel like I should mention that we are separated before we get too..."
— Rosebud Baker [04:52]

• Lauren and Rosebud bond over divorce; Lauren offers comfort, having gone through similar pain and confusion.

3. The Fallout of Divorce & Personal Identity

[07:01 - 12:02]

• Both comedians discuss the destabilizing pain of divorce, and not recognizing yourself for a while.
• Rosebud opens up about the unique public pressures she faces: people react more strongly to her divorce jokes (especially about her ex, also a comedian) than to material about trauma or loss, highlighting societal double standards.

"I've sent every joke that I've posted to him first."
— Rosebud Baker [09:43]

• The challenge of co-parenting while protecting feelings, and her intent to avoid jokes that are more mean than funny.

4. Social Media Negativity and Vulnerability

[14:52 - 17:06]

• They dig into how social media shifted from affirmation to a source of negativity, especially when discussing real, raw life moments.
• Both encourage each other to ignore toxic feedback and to stay true to themselves, even when self-confidence wanes after divorce/separation.

"The Internet has become... the battle of who has the least amount of shame."
— Rosebud Baker [16:02]

5. Motherhood on the Road

[20:10 - 23:52]

• Parenting as single mothers is discussed with humor and candor.
• Rosebud takes her daughter everywhere on tour—her two-year-old has Delta Gold status!
• The joys and oddities of raising a child in the comedy world vs. their own upbringings.

"When we play pretend... She’ll be like, ‘I have to go,’ and I'm like, ‘Where are you going?’ And she’ll be like, ‘North Portland.’"
— Rosebud Baker [22:36]

6. Redefining Dating Priorities

[24:06 - 28:14]

• Rosebud shares how motherhood has shifted her dating lens: her child is always the top priority; she won’t center her life around a man again.
• The desire to be loved gently, not always be the “alpha.”
• Both hosts comment on dating men who are more or less assertive than themselves; the challenges and desires to find someone who can match or balance their personalities.

"I will never, like, center my life around a man ever again because my life is centered around my daughter..."
— Rosebud Baker [24:24]

7. Astrology, Red Flags, and Compatibility

[28:14 - 36:38]

• An in-depth, hilarious riff about star signs:
  • Lauren is a Virgo, her husband is a Taurus—she swears by the match.
  • Rosebud is a Pisces, but relates best to Scorpios (despite their reputation), and reveals many planets in Scorpio in her own chart.
  • Both share "no-go" signs (Scorpio for Lauren!) and stories about scheduling births to optimize astrological compatibility for their kids.

"I have four, five planets in Scorpio... all my relationship stuff is in Scorpio."
— Rosebud Baker [28:58]

"I also scheduled my C-section according to what my daughter's rising sign was gonna be..."
— Rosebud Baker [32:23]

• Debate over whether water signs are too sensitive, and laugh about being "a similar brand of psycho."

8. Intensity in Relationships & Self-Awareness

[37:11 - 40:18]

• Rosebud admits to “intense” behaviors when in love—learning everything she can about partners:
  • Even keeps lists: "favorite things, shoe size," etc.
  • Lauren reflects on being the opposite—never asking questions at the start of her relationship.

"When I am completely in love with somebody, I get focused on them in a way that I think would only compare to a serial killer."
— Rosebud Baker [37:25]

9. The Next Generation: Strong Daughters

[41:31 - 44:01]

• Stories about their daughters' surprising independence (Rosebud’s daughter calling another woman “mommy” to provoke her), and the value of raising girls who can stand up for themselves.

"I gave birth to myself and it has not been a pleasure to meet me."
— Rosebud Baker [41:35]

• Kids saying “no,” using advanced vocab, and the pitfalls of teaching them clever tricks.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Relationship Trauma:
  "You go from being like, God, I’m a bad bitch and I’m amazing, to being like, I’m a monster. I’ve ruined my life."
  — Rosebud Baker [19:31]

• On Finding Balance in Dating:
  "I want to be, like, soft and gentle and, like, feminine."
  — Rosebud Baker [25:43]

• On Scorpio Lovers:
  "They fuck like lions. They're amazing... blow your tits off good."
  — Rosebud Baker [34:09]

• On Internet Critics:
  "Some days I just want to fight somebody on the Internet. If I’ve got the time, I’ll get into it."
  — Rosebud Baker [47:49]

• On Raising Daughters:
  "It’s a real toss-up for how she turns out. I have no idea. Compared to my upbringing, she is being raised in the circus."
  — Rosebud Baker [23:37]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------| | 00:51 – 02:39 | Memoir Writing Amid Life Upheaval | | 03:20 – 06:42 | Meeting, Marrying, & Separating from Her Husband | | 07:01 – 12:02 | Coping with Divorce & Joking About It Publicly | | 14:52 – 17:06 | Social Media: Affirmation to Negativity | | 20:10 – 23:52 | Single Motherhood on the Road | | 24:06 – 28:14 | Redefining Post-Divorce Dating | | 28:14 – 36:38 | Astrology, Love Compatibility, and Birth Chart Quirks | | 37:11 – 40:18 | Relationship Intensity & Self-Analysis | | 41:31 – 44:01 | Raising Strong Daughters in Comedy Families |

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Recap & Takeaway

In this episode, Lauren and Rosebud pull back the curtain on relationships, heartbreak, and the bizarro world of comedy and co-parenting. They roast themselves, their exes, and their astrological signs—in equal measure—while dropping wisdom about healing, setting boundaries, and keeping humor alive through the hardest parts of life.

Listeners will leave with:

• Relatable stories about divorce, mothering, and dating in your 30s
• A few astrology red flags to watch for
• Laugh-out-loud moments and permission to stay true to your messy, complicated self

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Find Rosebud:
Instagram/TikTok/YouTube: @rosebudbaker
On tour: rosebudbaker.com
Preorder her memoir: Fully Baked

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Transcript

[A]

This summer, serve up the cookout classics. Oscar Mayer hot dogs and Heinz mustard. Grill up a dog, add classic yellow mustard or loaded Chicago style. We all know it's not a cookout without Oscar Meyer and Hines.

[B]

I'm so excited to see you tonight.

[A]

First Date, baby.

[B]

First date. I can't wait. First date. What's up, you guys? Welcome to another episode of First Date. My guest today is a comedian and an author, and she has a new memoir coming out called Fully Baked. Help me welcome Rosebud Baker.

[A]

Aw, thanks.

[B]

Tell me about your memoir.

[A]

So I started writing this memoir when I was, like, I guess it would have been five years ago. I was in Austin, actually, when I got the book deal, and I was like, yeah, I can do that. And then I started, like, six months later, I got a job writing for snl. And I was like, oh, this is going to take a little bit longer than I thought. And then I got pregnant and I was like, actually, it's going to take, like, maybe a little bit longer. And then I got a baby, and I was like, oh, you know what?

[B]

This is never getting done.

[A]

This is going to be real late. And so it took me an insane amount of time to write. And, like, everything was so crazy while I was writing it that I basically wasn't. I was like, how do I even delve into my past when my current, like, present is just so all consuming? So what ended up happening was I, you know, when I was pregnant, I started remembering parts of my life that I had completely forgotten because pregnancy just does weird shit to you like that. And also just having a kid, you start to look back on your own life in a way that you never really looked at it before. And so I start every chapter with a different moment in either my efforts to get pregnant or my failed efforts to get pregnant, or, like, IVF and then my eventual pregnancy, which happened without IVF and. And then, like, giving birth. And all of these moments are, like, sort of a portal into, like, a story from my past. So that's kind of how I decided to, like, write it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And is it. It's about your past.

[A]

It's about my whole life. It's about, you know, growing up in, like, a political family and the stuff that goes along with that. It goes into, like, alcoholism and getting sober and how insane I was afterwards, like, all the mistakes that I made as a sober person, which were arguably just as bad as, like, the ones that I made drunk and then starting comedy and getting a job at SNL and, you know, meeting My husband in the New York comedy scene and getting married and having a kid with him.

[B]

How did you meet him?

[A]

I met him at a New Year's Eve party at bar matchless in 2017.

[B]

I don't know what that bar is.

[A]

It's like a show that we used to do. There was a show. It was like a. It was run by Nimesh Patel, Mike Denny, Kevin Barnett and Rest In Peace, and Michael Che. So it was like the four of them, and it was like, a really shitty show. It was like a really bad show, but we all. Everybody would go. So it was like a show that there were maybe, like, 13 people in the audience, and they never really were good, but we would watch each other on the show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, yeah, it was just one of those things that I don't even know if the New York scene really has as much anymore. I feel like Austin has more of that than New York now, where it's like a younger scene where, like, everybody's friends and everybody. It's all sort of concentrated to one area geographically. So, like, if you're going from one show to another, you sort of caravan with whoever you're with. That's just something that. I don't even know if that's true about Austin, but feels like that maybe. Yeah. Anyway, so, yeah, it was. I met him, like, we all celebrated New Year's Eve at this bar and met him there. And that was not when we started dating. We started dating a long time after that.

[B]

But how did you guys reconnect?

[A]

I feel like I should mention that we are separated before we get too.

[B]

Are you really?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, before we get into this. Good to know. I'm like, we. I'm like, before it gets too cute, I don't want to, like, bring everybody down. But, yeah, we. We reconnected, like, months or I guess, like, years later. I was out in la and he kept offering to, like, do stuff for me. Like, you know, like, he was like. Like, we weren't staying in the same area or anything. He just kept, like, offering to, like, drive me places and do stuff. And I was like. I kept being like, no, I'm good. I'm fine. And then. And then we. He, like, had me on his podcast, and that was another one where I was like, is he, like, trying to. What's going on here? You know? Yeah, but I. I didn't. I didn't really, like, go for him until we were at this wedding together, and. Which is so cliche, but, like, we were at A wedding together. And we like, danced together all night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And then we were married like nine months later.

[B]

How long were y' all married for?

[A]

Six years.

[B]

It's a long time.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

It's tricky. Like, I'm still figuring that out. You know what I mean? Like, when you're in the beginning of a separation and a divorce, you're kind

[B]

of like, is it new that you guys have separated?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, we're nine months now. Um, I guess. No, even less than that. We. We separated, I think around October. Yeah, it was October that we separated. So it's new. Yeah, it's new. It's a weird. It's a wild fucking ride. Like getting separated and like getting divorced. It's fucking crazy.

[B]

I was married before. I'm on my second marriage.

[A]

Oh, you are?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How's it. It's going well.

[B]

Obviously going very well.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Much better than the first one was.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But the first one we got divorced, it was like very sudden and I went spiraling down like a crazy rabbit hole.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was like there was like no light at the end of the tunnel. Everything was like blurry. I was like, I have no idea what was going to happen in life now.

[A]

Yeah. That is what it feels like. You're like, and I don't feel like myself. Like, I don't feel like myself yet. In a weird way.

[B]

It takes a while.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To get yourself back.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But just be patient with yourself.

[A]

Good.

[B]

It comes back.

[A]

Good. Cause I'm like, crazy when I tell you I've always been really self assured. Like my ex, soon to be ex will tell you. I was like. He was like, your unwavering confidence is like almost a red flag. He was like, it's crazy. And it has like disappeared. I'm like, I don't even know where that is right now.

[B]

Well, when you lose someone that's. That you're in a relationship with, like, that it's like. It's like if you're sitting on a chair that is stabilized on three legs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And one of the legs gets knocked out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, you lose balance.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's totally normal.

[A]

Yeah. I am.

[B]

It takes a lot. It's good that you're in comedy. It's good that you can like vent and write. Like make something fun about something painful.

[A]

You know what's interesting about that is I've always done that. Like, I've always written about stuff that's happened to me in my life. Like, I've written about horrible stuff. Like the death of my sister, domestic abuse, miscarriage, like, all these things that have happened in my life, alcoholism. But. And I've never gotten any sort of, like, no one on the Internet has ever really asked any questions about what the fallout of that is in my personal life. Like, no one's expressed any concern about, like, who in my life I might be hurting by doing these jokes. They're all just like, wow, that was great. You know what I mean? But when it comes to it, like, I've been writing divorce jokes and I've noticed that people are really, really upset when it comes to, like, if you're hurting a man's feelings, like if there is a man's feelings involved and he's also, you know, a public person, so it's not all that, you know, like, he's a comic as well, and we worked together, you know, but by that same coin, like, I. I've sent every joke that I've posted to him first.

[B]

That's nice of you.

[A]

And people are getting so mad about.

[B]

I didn't do that. I just started fucking firing shots.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I. But wait, did you guys have a kid together?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. So that's why I'm like, we have a kid together.

[B]

That makes sense.

[A]

So I'm like, I. We're. We're. We got a long life together. Like, even after we sign these fucking divorce papers, it's going to be like, all right, well talk to you every day for the rest our lives. You know what I mean? Like, I. We got to get along. So it is really, really hard. Cuz I can't, you know, I'm. I mean, I am a nightmare in like, as an ex, I, I'm not a good ex. I will say awful, you know what I mean? But I'm not like doing that to him. I'm like writing jokes, you know, and, and it's crazy.

[B]

Is he fine with your jokes?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, he's a comic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, but like, which doesn't mean that he would be fine with anything. There's certain jokes that, like, he'll say are fine, and then right before I post them, I go, I don't know. I don't know. You know what I mean? Like, if it feels more mean than it is funny, I don't want to say it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm more concerned about his feelings in this breakup than I am in a lot of ways, my own feelings. And it's a, It's a weird. It's a mind fuck, you know? Cause I've never really given a fuck about an ex.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I have to. But that's like my, that's my daughter's father. I have to be nice to him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, for her.

[B]

But it sounds like your jokes are well written. If you're taking his feelings into consideration, are you making them more self deprecating?

[A]

Not necessarily. There's certain ones that are like. There are certain ones that are a little mean, you know, But I'm like, is this more funny than mean? You know? And I think for the most part, yeah, like, if it's, if it's more funny than it is mean, I will post it. But it's also like, it takes time to kind of figure that out. Like, I don't want to rush to post anything that isn't that I don't feel good about or that I can't confidently say I would feel good about. Like within six months. Yeah, I'm just being really careful about that right now.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, that's good.

[A]

It was crazy. Like I, I did this show and I won't say the show, but like it was like a kind of a dating show thing. And all these people were in the comments being like, this is so bad for him. This is so mean to him. And I was like, wait, is it like, because he's like fully like, I

[B]

think he's gonna stop reading comments.

[A]

Yeah, I know, I know, I know. But this is part of the thing. This is what? Like, part of the divorce thing is like, now all of a sudden I'm reading comments like, I never gave a fuck.

[B]

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[C]

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[A]

You know, Like I.

[B]

Well, you know what's interesting is like social media started out as a way to get affirmations. You know, you would post something and you would get positive feedback and it would inspire you to, to want to post again.

[A]

Right? And now it's like the opposite.

[B]

And now it is the opposite. Now there's these just these like gremlins behind keyboards that feel like they can say whatever the fuck they want to say that's negative about whatever it is you're. It's like, you know how hard it is to find something like, negative sometimes about like something funny. Like, how hard is it to just not laugh?

[A]

Like, I know, but it's. It's very. I think it's pretty easy to not laugh when you're alone. When you're watching something alone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's pretty easy to not laugh. It's pretty easy to. I mean, this is saying, you know, as somebody who's like, chronically negative, I try not to be, but I almost like, get it. You know what I mean? And I'm like, you can. And to their, to their credit, it's like, well, they can say whatever they want. Like, they can, they can.

[B]

But should they?

[A]

Probably not. In terms of like their personal happiness. No, but they can and it will get a reaction and it's. It's crazy. You're 100% correct, though. Like, the Internet has become. It's like just the battle of like, who has the least amount of shame, you know?

[B]

Yeah. I think you'll have to ignore Some of it because you don't want to relate to someone else's negative thoughts.

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

Once you start relating to that, it's all downhill from there, because then you're seeing what they're seeing, and then that's going to change your light.

[A]

Right, Right.

[B]

You know, you have to, like, continue with what you're feeling, and people are going to have to, like, either get on board or not.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And you have to not care about the ones that don't.

[A]

I know. And normally, I think it's so much easier to do that from a place of, like, I know who I am, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you know who you are, it's like, yeah, whatever. Get on board or don't. But, like, I'm. I have no idea who the fuck I am right now.

[B]

Well, that's why this whole podcast is gonna be a pep talk for you.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, sorry. I feel like I've just turned this into a different thing.

[B]

No, I think that. I think that you going through a separation and going through real moments in life that feel like a blur is like the epitome of what, like, a dating podcast is, you know, because you're going through something that's making you vulnerable.

[A]

It's so funny, too, because we sat down and you start asking me about my husband. I'm like, wait, Wait a second. It's like, you want to start every sentence, like, before anybody's. Like, how are you? You just want to be like, I'm getting divorced. All right? Like, I'm getting divorced. Don't ask me how I'm doing. Like, I cannot answer that question. I can't dodge it anymore. Like, I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to be, like, great, you know, I can't do it. So if people are asking me how I'm doing, I'm like, buddy, you're like,

[B]

where do we start?

[A]

This is rough right now. Like, I am struggling.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

When I first got divorced, I had to move out, and I had this weird complex where I was like, I am not going to go downhill. I am not going to, like, suffer because of this. Like, everything in my life needs to excel. And so I moved out. I was in Venice beach, and I moved out of Venice beach, and I moved, like, all the way to North Hollywood.

[A]

Like, as getting out of Venice beach alone is, like, that's a step up.

[B]

I had to get out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I moved so far away. Like, an hour away.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To this. This almost said hotel to this massive, like, one bedroom apartment. And on, like, the top level of this apartment building. And it was so far out of my price range.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I didn't care because I was like, I'm going to figure it out. And so I signed this deal and I was, like, so heartbroken and spirit in a spiral that I would, like, drink a bottle of champagne by myself and I would just. I was going down, like, the deepest, darkest hole every day. And I'm just like, I don't know how I'm gonna survive this. Like, I don't know what I'm doing.

[A]

I know. And it's crazy because you go from being like, God, I'm a bad bitch and I'm amazing, to being like, I'm a monster. I've ruined my life.

[B]

Yeah. What am I going to do?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I had to, like, find a loophole of this lease that I signed to get out of it within a couple of months. Cause I couldn't afford it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was just. Oh, it was so bad. Oh, my God. My dad, my. My life suffered a lot for like, two years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then all of a sudden, it started to get better. And when it started to get better, he came back and was like, trying to be like, you know, do you want to try again? And I was like, bitch. It just took me two years to be okay.

[A]

Right? Yeah.

[B]

No.

[A]

No. Absolutely not.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yikes. Yeah. I. I don't know. I mean, one thing that I do think is, like a good sign is that I. I've always enjoyed being a mother, but, like, I am enjoying it on another level, like, since. And doing it alone. Really? Yeah. So that's. To me, that's a sign that, like, we're doing the right thing.

[B]

Yeah. Does she live with you?

[A]

Mm, cute. Yeah.

[B]

She's two.

[A]

She's two and a half.

[B]

When's her birthday?

[A]

October 3rd.

[B]

Okay. So it's coming up kind of.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To me it is. I'm like counting everything in weeks. And so I'm like, oh, October's not that far.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it does feel like it just goes really quickly, you know, like one to zero to one was an eternity.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

It was the longest year of my life. It was 10 years passed in that one year.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then one to two was like, oh, this is the shit. I really love this. This is great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Once she started, like, walking and kind of talking, I was like, okay, this. Now I'm in my bag.

[B]

Yeah. I was just telling Jared that Tuesday is when it Started to get really fun for me. We went down to one nap. So now we have all this free time to like do activities. And I've been taking him to like indoor playgrounds.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like we're going to a splash pad soon and like can go do stuff that's like fun because he has longer wake windows and I'm like thriving because I'm not stuck in the house like trying to all day long to like live around his routine like figure

[A]

stuff out for him to do.

[B]

Yeah. So it's exciting once they. He's almost a year and a half.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So getting to me it's every year

[A]

gets better and better. Like the more independent they are, the more, the more stuff you can bring them to, you know. And I bring her with me on the road everywhere. Like she comes with me for now, you know. I don't know what, how it's going to work out like once she's in school.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Full time right now it's like she's in school but I can take her. What's she going to fucking like miss studying for exams? Like let's like we're skipping school. You know what I mean? And so I'll bring her all over with me. And it's. She travels so much. This girl is like gold status on Delta. I'm not, I'm not joking. She has full gold status on Delta. She's two and a half. She's had it since she was two. And she like when we play pretend. Cause she's super into pretend now. She'll be like, I have to go. And I'm like, where are you going? And she'll be like, north Portland. And she just sort of like walks out. Like it's like she does. She's like Tacoma, you know, like these random like comedy club towns where it's like, what the fuck? She's like, I have to go to Toledo.

[B]

And what is she doing in Toledo?

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, what are you doing in Toledo? She's like the chuckle hut. Okay. All right. So weird. I'm just like, this is so weird. It's so different from like the way that I grew up, you know, Just like I have. It's a real toss up for like how she turns out. I. I have no idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cuz like I just had a completely different upbringing than, than her. I don't. She's like compared to my upbringing, she is being raised like in the circus, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like traveling circus.

[B]

That's fun.

[A]

So I. I guess hopefully you know Yeah. I mean, I'll just, like, keep a budget for rehab on hand. I don't know,

[B]

Man. I would ask you questions like, you know, what's your future dating life look like?

[A]

I know you can ask me stuff like that. Um, I feel like it's. Right now, it's really, like, up in the air, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I. It's like you said, it's hard to imagine what that is because I don't have, like, a lot of time, and my priorities are. This is what I'm excited about, is that I will never, like, center my life around a man ever again because my life is centered around my daughter, you know? And that, to me, is, like, an exciting way to approach dating, because it's not. It's not that I don't, you know, respect or want to be in another relationship with a man. It's just that I have, like, more important things. And so I've always kind of been. How do I, like, put this? I guess I've kind of always been, like, an alpha in my dating life. Like, I've always. That. You know what I mean? And I. It's funny because, like, I don't want to be. Like, I really don't want to be. I end up resenting the fact that I'm in that position, and now I'm like, I don't want to be with a guy that is, like, that. I feel like I intimidate, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm just, like, not interested in that at all. Like, I want to be, like, soft and gentle and, like, feminine.

[B]

Treated. Yeah.

[A]

With care. Because I. You know, it's like, I need that. Like, it's. This is hard. Like, what I'm doing is really hard.

[B]

Was you. Is your ex not very alpha?

[A]

No, no, no. I mean, he would say that, too. Like, he. Half of his jokes are about that. Like, he's, like, not that way at all.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And I just think that I, like, need. I need that.

[B]

Yeah. It helps. I'm pretty alpha, and my husband is much more alpha. So much so.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That when he gets upset about something, or I can see that. Like, I say, like, you know, that, like, moment kind of shift where he would get, like, upset about something. I'm like, okay, fine. It's fine.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Let's drop it.

[A]

Right. I don't want to deal with it.

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

Because it's also, like, I just want to. I won't even get upset if I can believe that you'll take care of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know.

[B]

Yeah. He's a man in charge.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I've learned to just trust it. And that's always been really hard for me because I'm like a doer. I get shit done.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I'm like. So it could be probably pretty annoying to some people too. Like, I get. I'm very one track minded. Like whenever I want. Whenever I'm like, I need to do this, I will get it done. And so some people are like, can't we just like, can we go do this and come back to it? And I'm like, nope. Because if I don't do it right now, I won't do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so being in a relationship with someone who really has a lot of follow through, I've like learned to trust that they. They got it right too. Yeah. So that's.

[A]

Yeah, it's tricky. It's tricky because I'm like. Like, I've dated guys that are more like me, you know, and it's awesome. But the. Then the downside of that is that they're a lot like me. Yes. But it's. But like, I feel like I'm finally in a place in my life where I'm. I'm like, that would really be just nice.

[B]

When's your birthday? I'm about to get into astrology.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm a Pisces.

[B]

Oh. I don't know about you guys.

[A]

What are you, a Virgo? Oh, we're opposites.

[B]

Yeah. So I go for a Taurus. So my husband's a Taurus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that really works for me. I don't know. What? What? Has there been a consistent sign? I can't believe we're talking about this. Has there been a consistent sign in your life that has worked for you

[A]

or not so funny because everybody will be like, this the type of guy or whatever. But like male Scorpios, really?

[B]

They. They're good for you or bad for you?

[A]

Great for me, dude.

[B]

My ex husband was a Scorpio. Never again.

[A]

I have four, five planets in Scorpio. And they're all in. Like, somebody was like, they're all in your. Like, I should introduce you your relationship house. Well, don't. I'm like, no. No, I don't.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Like if. If one can't make it work, you know? But like, all of my shit is like, all my relationship stuff is in Scorpio.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

Yeah. It's a lot of power struggles, man. Yeah.

[B]

If there was one sign that I could tell you is like, My hard. No, it's Scorpio. That just doesn't work for me at all.

[A]

Yeah, I love them way too much.

[B]

Emo. Like, the fire. That fire sign is just another water. Are they really whatever the they are?

[A]

Yeah, they're, like, crazy, crazy sensitive.

[B]

He's super sensitive. He was always mad or upset about something. Always.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I. Oh, my God. I love that.

[A]

I'm always like, is wrong with you?

[B]

I love that.

[A]

I'm like, me, too. But I'm the same way. I'm the same. I'm like, I am always. I've always got something, like, just. That's just, like, pissing me off. You know what I mean? And it's like, I just want to come home, like, just about it with somebody and. And have them be like, yeah, that person. You know? Like, I need somebody who's going to be like, I don't. Even if I'm wrong, like, tell me later. But in the moment, be like, I hope they fucking die in their sleep.

[B]

Girl, if I was on your ship, I'd be walking the plank. I'd be like, lay down. I'm going on it. I'm off this bitch. Like, I know. I cannot.

[A]

I know. I know. Everybody hates them. I love them.

[B]

I would hope there could be a shark in the water. And I'm like, here we go, buddy. Big breakfast.

[A]

No, Scorpio. Pisces have, like, a thing. But also, like, I have so many of the other things in Scorpio.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

Yeah, that's hilarious.

[B]

I know so much about you now.

[A]

I know, but my. I know my whole thing. My whole, like, chart.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I know all of it.

[B]

Do you know your numerology?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know any of that.

[B]

I could do it for you later.

[A]

Okay, let's do it.

[B]

Was your. What sign is your ex.

[A]

Cancer.

[B]

Oh. Also sensitive.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think cancers and Scorpios are the most sensitive I.

[A]

In Pisces. Like, water signs in general.

[B]

Oh, is that what it is? Y' all are all water signs? Okay.

[A]

We're all sensitive.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

Weird.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I've also dated a cancer. Yikes.

[A]

It's hard. I'm sorry. I'm trying to be nice. Oh, my God. Dude. It's hard. It's tough.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

It's tough. Cause they're. Yeah.

[B]

My son. My second son's gonna be born in July. First thing I did, man, was like, run to the Internet. I'm like, please, not a cancer. I'm like, oh, my God.

[A]

Is early July cancer?

[B]

Early July is cancer.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[B]

And late July is Leo. And I'm scheduled for a C section. So the doctor was like, let's schedule it, you know, in, like, later July. And I'm like, the latest day in July you can find.

[A]

That's so funny. You and I are a similar brand of psycho. Cause I also scheduled my C section according to, like, what my daughter's rising sign was gonna be.

[B]

I'm dead, dude.

[A]

I absolutely did that.

[B]

It's so funny that we're so opposite, but so in the same.

[A]

I would never say that publicly on a podcast. I would never have said that if you hadn't admitted it. I'm so ashamed that I did that. But I fully did that. Cause I was like, she's a Libra. She's got a Gemini moon. I'm like, we're total opposites. I'm like, we gotta get something. So I made sure that she was a Scorpio rising, dude.

[B]

When? My due date is August 3rd. And so before I planned to schedule the C section, I was like, okay, I'm gonna find out what that sign is. And it said Leo. And I was like, great, I love a Leo. And then I. Many things happened, and I was like, okay, we're gonna schedule this C section. That's when the doctor was like, all right, we're gonna do it in July. And I was like. I was like, hold the phone. When? In July. And then now it's, like, late July.

[A]

Oh, my God. Okay.

[B]

The latest day in July.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

Late July.

[A]

Late July. Fantastic. Fantastic.

[B]

It's great. We're still.

[A]

We're on Leo 100%. Because they're also a little more sensitive than a regular Leo. But they're. But they' what?

[B]

I mean, they're not a cancer.

[A]

They're a little deeper than a regular Leo.

[B]

So I can handle some sensitive.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

I can handle that. Of course. It's just not. I don't want the steamboat of sensitive. So it's.

[A]

They really are like cancer men are. They're tough.

[B]

Yeah, that's a. That's a big cap. All caps. Yikes.

[A]

Yeah, they're all caps.

[B]

Yikes.

[A]

I'm like, you can say more than I can say at this point. And Scorpios.

[B]

Yikes.

[A]

Well, yikes. But it's worth it. Cause they fuck like lions. They're amazing.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Incredible in bed. Incredible. I mean, absolutely. Like, blow your tits off. Good. So, I mean, it's like, who cares how mad they are all the Time. You know what I mean?

[B]

I do.

[A]

It's like, they're not mad after they fuck. So what? And neither are you. So it's like, that's basically what it needs to be, guys. That's all it needs to be. Every Scorpio I've ever been with, it's just been like, they come home and they're like, you know? And then you're like, well, that's too bad. You just want to fuck a little. And then it's over.

[B]

Well, then I didn't know how to handle them correctly because I'm like, do we want to. Do you want to help me organize my closet?

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, they're like, what do you want to do?

[B]

You want to come?

[A]

They are a little anal retentive, though. I've noticed Scorpios, they get to be. They're a little, like. A lot of them have, like, OCD stuff.

[B]

Yeah, well, they're mostly mad.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Is there a Scorpio back there that's laughing? You have a Scorpio and a cancer in the booth right now. No way.

[B]

Yikes.

[A]

Wait, Scorpio?

[B]

Who's the Scorpio?

[A]

I'm the cancer. She's the Scorpio.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Really disappointing. I was kind of hoping it would be the opposite, but I do like Scorpio women, too. Yeah. I'm not gonna lie when you said you're a Pisces rosebud. I'm a Scorpio. And I am, like, so into a Pisces man right now. Yeah. It's crazy. They really, like, worship Pisces in a way that we really need to. We need it. We need it. We'll never say we need it, but we really need it. Like, we want to be like, I just want to be like a fucking dream girl. Like, everybody hates being love bombed. And I'm like, that shit turns me on. I want that in my life to be love bombed.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Somebody love bomb me. I'm like, show up and tell me my pussy's magic and drop thousands on me and then ghost. That's all I'm. That's all I want. Because I don't need. I'm like, I'm a single mom. Like, I don't want you in my life. I need money and I need sex, and that's it, you know? I mean, eventually I'll need, like, emotional connection, but I'm like, but not right now. But I'm not there right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, so. Wow. Yeah, it's tricky.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's so dark to say that out loud.

[B]

No, it's so. But hey, you know what? There's. There's some kind of a relatability in the signs, and people think I'm so psycho to be talking about stuff like this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But, like, how many people relate to it, though? Like, there's. There are classic signs in the signs, and they go with everybody. Like, I. It's. So there has to be something to it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I. I was thinking about it because, well, somebody. I forget what it was. Somebody was like, what. What are you. Like when you're, like, completely in love, Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was thinking about it, and I was like, when I am, like, completely in love with somebody, I. I get, like, focused on them in a way that I think would only compare to, like, a serial killer. Like, I'm like. I learn so much about this person, and they're not even aware of, like, how much I, like, study them, and it's psychotic.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, I'll figure out what your fucking blood type is.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, I'll figure out. Like, it's crazy. I want to know everything. I'm like, if anything, I'm like, what if something happens to you and you're. Because they become the most important thing in my life. So I just. I learn everything.

[B]

You're such a mom.

[A]

I learned everything. This was before I ever had a kid.

[B]

I know, but, like, screams mom.

[A]

I was like, I need to know, like, what your blood type is. Where's your. I had. I would keep a list. There's a list of every man I've ever fallen in love with of, like, their favorite things and, like, what size their shoe is or, like, from when we first started dating.

[B]

No way.

[A]

Yes. It's psychotic. It's so crazy.

[B]

That's so wild. I. And the opposite.

[A]

You were the opposite.

[B]

Yeah. So, like, when I started dating my husband, I didn't ask him a single question for, like, three days. Really, all I did was talk about myself because I thought that I was the interesting one.

[A]

Well, you probably are.

[B]

He's very interesting. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But he has a lot going on. He had more going on than I did, but I was confused on what he did for a living. I thought he was a busboy and he was the owner of a restaurant. And so I was. I thought. I thought, assumed busboy. I did. He was wearing an apron. He was busting tables when I met him. What would you think?

[A]

Okay. Yeah, that's fair, right? That's fair.

[B]

And so I was like. But I went out on a date with him and proceeded to talk about myself. But he, to be fair, he asked me questions and he was asking me questions, like, non stop. And so I was just like,

[A]

like

[B]

talking about, you know. And then I. One thing led to another and I went to his fucking lake house. And I was like, you do really good for a busboy. He's like, I'm not a bus boy.

[A]

No, I don't do that.

[B]

And I was like, well, that's when I realized I need to ask more questions.

[A]

Right? Yeah, right.

[B]

And so then I started asking questions and started realizing that there was more to him than meets the eye.

[A]

Well, I will admit this, that it's not all like a selfless, you know, like getting focused on somebody like that. There's also. I have to acknowledge that a part of it is that if I ask them questions about themselves, they won't get to know me. And then I have the upper hand because they don't know anything about me.

[B]

That is psycho.

[A]

It is psychotic. It's fucking so crazy. That's great. Like, I'm saying it out loud and going, oh, whoops.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

That's. See that. That's why your daughter is kind of manipulating you.

[A]

Oh, for sure. No, I clocked it right away. I was like, oh, this is. I gave birth to myself and it has not been a pleasure to meet me. It has been rough. My daughter was on the plane yesterday. I was telling Lauren, my daughter was on the plane yesterday and she. I was pissing her off. And so she started calling the lady next to us mommy. And just asking the lady next to us, anytime she needed something, she would turn to her right. And be perfect stranger, by the way. And be like, mommy, can I have this? And I. To the. Where I was like, what the fuck is going on? Like, she's trying to make me jealous. This is. This is psychotic for a two and a half year old. I'm like, really concerned. But anyway, I'll talk to a child psychologist about it. But yeah, she's very much like she's you. Yeah, yeah. And she's a little bit mean, which I really like in a little girl.

[B]

You are so weird.

[A]

I know. Yeah.

[B]

But I guess, like, having that, like, tinge of meanness is good in a girl.

[A]

It's. That's what I'm saying. It's like you need to be a little bit of a. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

She'll.

[A]

Yes. Because especially when you're a little girl because, like, the World takes advantage of, like, young women.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, definitely be a.

[B]

She'll have no problem standing up for herself.

[A]

Yeah. Like, she is.

[B]

She's like, I'm going to Toledo.

[A]

Yeah, I'm going to Toledo. All right. And she's like, making fun of the places I perform, you know? But then she'll, like, she'll say, God, she's so funny. She said to me the other day, she was like, can I get a snack? And I was. I was like, I don't have one. And I was like, looking through my bag and I've had like a half eaten bag of Doritos because I'm a toddler mom, you know? And I looked in it and I was like, here? And I handed it to her. And she looks at it and then looks at me and she goes, you're a bum. I was like, you are two and a half. Why are you talking like a man from the 30s? It's psychotic.

[B]

But that's really funny.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Does she look like you?

[A]

She looks like me. Yeah. It's funny. She looks like her dad when she is just kind of like when she's looking, like, innocent, you know, she looks like her cancer dad. And then when she is mad or skeptical, she looks ignorant. Exactly like me. Like, it's crazy.

[B]

That's.

[A]

So she has this like. Like, she'll, like, look at people like this. Sometimes I'll be like, say hello. And instead of saying hello, she'll go like this. And I'm like, that's scary. And that is. That's my face.

[B]

You know, that's the getaway from me.

[A]

It's more of like a don't tell me what to do kind of thing.

[B]

Does she say no?

[A]

Yeah, all the time.

[B]

My son just started saying no, but he says it's so cute. And if it wasn't so cute, I'd be pissed. But he's like, no.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No. Every time I ask him, I'm like, do you want. Do you want this? No. No. And then I'm like, but okay. And then I won't give it to him. And he's like, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, but you.

[B]

You just said no. And he's like, I'm like, okay, fine, here. And he's like, no. I'm like, you don't know what you want.

[A]

My favorite is. She'll go, no. And I'll go, why not? And she'll go, because it's not my favorite.

[B]

Yeah, all right, fair enough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If it's not my Favorite. I probably don't want it either.

[A]

Right. Same.

[B]

Yeah. I've been making him try to use his words when he, like, points at something, he uses all of his fingers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he goes like that. And I'm like, what is that that you want? Is it a spatula?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Right, Right. Y. Right. They really. Anyway, it's. They're tricky. Like, the talking is tricky.

[B]

That's so funny. I'm giving them all the big words to use.

[A]

Well, you might as well, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's surprising what I. I mean, they catch on to stuff, and you don't really realize, you know, the other day I was like, do you want to keep doing what you're doing, or do you want to go to timeout? And she was like, it's complicated. And I was like, that's wild that you know how to. You know what I mean?

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Because not only are you correct, but, like, you're using that in the right context.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's making me think in a crazy way. You know, I.

[B]

As a joke, I taught him, knock, knock. And so I was like, you go like this, and you say, knock, knock. And he learned it in, like, two minutes and was like, knock, knock. So then, now, whenever I go into my room and I close the door and I lock it because he can reach all my door handles, I'm like, mom, I'll be right back. And I, like, lock my door handle, and he comes in, he goes, knock, knock, knock, knock. And I'm like, oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, build a hell for myself.

[B]

Why did I teach knock, knock? And I did it just to annoy everybody else, and now it annoys me, but it's still so cute. Knock, knock.

[A]

Yeah. It's always gonna come back on you first, for sure.

[B]

I'm learning that.

[A]

Yeah. How old is he?

[B]

15 months. Almost a year and a half.

[A]

You're, like, back to back?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Holy.

[B]

I'm doing eight weeks.

[A]

Wow. Oh, my God.

[B]

Pray for me.

[A]

I will.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I will. So hard. It's so hard. But it's amazing. I don't mean to say, you know.

[B]

No. But by the time the second one is, like, a year and a half, I'll be in heaven.

[A]

I know. I. I completely understand the whole, like, get them. If you want two kids, like, get them out of the way. You know what I mean? Both the pregnancies, they'll.

[B]

Both. They'll be, like, close enough in age, and they'll be having fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I can just, like, usher them into a Room and, like, have them play instead of being the circus act myself. So I'm just, like, very much looking forward to. Totally that. Totally. Like, it will pay off.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway, thank you for coming on my show.

[A]

Thank you for having me.

[B]

I've learned so much about you.

[A]

I know. I feel like I, like, Trauma dumped for an hour and a half.

[B]

It's great. I wish more people would do that. I actually learned who you are, you know?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Instead of, like.

[A]

Which, as we know now, is one of my biggest fears is people learning who I am.

[B]

But, hey, maybe this will, like, turn around and help you.

[A]

Yeah. It's crazy that I do stand up. Wrote a book. Like, I'm on podcasts all the time, and I'm like, nobody can know me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's, like, so insane.

[B]

Well, it's like a musician who doesn't want their music to be heard.

[A]

Yeah, a little bit.

[B]

Kind of, you know, But I don't.

[A]

I want my work to be out there. I just don't want people to, like, get the. Get the squishy center. You know what I mean? I don't want them to, like, know the softer parts. Well, that's relatable. Destroy me.

[B]

No. No one's gonna destroy you. Stop reading.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I forbid you.

[A]

I will keep reading them, though.

[B]

I know you will.

[A]

Sometimes I just want to, like, Pisces. Yeah. And also I just want to, like, fight back. Some days I just want to, like, fight somebody on the Internet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If I've got the time, I'll get into it. I've had my manager call and be like, hey, you look like you don't have work. And I'm like, well, whose fault is that? You know what I mean? I'm like, that's your fault. I'm gonna stay and fight on the Internet until you get me. Find me some money.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Well, where can people find you on the Internet? At Rosebud Baker. On Instagram and tick tock and YouTube. I'm on tour right now. I am God everywhere. So you can get, like. You can see where I'm [e-mail] and my book is called Fully Baked, and I'm really proud of it. It took me four years. It's about five pages long.

[B]

Congratulations.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you guys so much for watching another episode of First Date. We'll see you next time. First Date. Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner? First Date. I can't wait. You told your mom about me? Just say, you ready? Delete my number first date. Your parents are your roommates. First.