Catching Day Fades w/ Joey Avery | First Date with Lauren Compton

Summary

First Date with Lauren Compton: Catching Day Fades with Joey Avery

Release Date: February 4, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of First Date with Lauren Compton, Lauren sits down with the charismatic comedian and viral content creator, Joey Avery. The conversation delves deep into Joey’s personal life, his journey in comedy, navigating relationships, and the impact of social media on his career.

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Meet Joey Avery

Lauren begins by introducing Joey Avery, highlighting his presence in the comedy scene and his own show, The Joey Show.

Lauren (00:48): "My guest today is a very funny comedian. You can see him on tour. He also has his own show. It's called The Joey Show. Give it up for Joey Avery."

Joey expresses his gratitude for being on the show.

Joey (00:59): "Thank you. It's an honor to be here."

---

Life in New York and Personal Habits

Joey shares snippets of his life in New York, particularly his experiences with air travel and his humorous take on social etiquette.

Joey (01:21): "The amount of social anxiety, like the second the plane lands is so intense, I just start. I like people. I start hating everybody. Like, it's bad. I don't like it at all."

He humorously discusses his struggles with dehydration and managing his liquid intake during flights.

Joey (02:31): "I didn't know it was mind over matter. I'm so hydrated, I'm keeping all of my fluids."

---

Marriage and Relationships

Joey opens up about his marriage, providing insights into how he and his wife met and maintained their relationship through college and beyond.

Joey (03:25): "I've been married for two years. We've been together for 13."

He recounts meeting his wife in college, highlighting the natural progression of their relationship from parties to deeper connections.

Joey (09:28): "We met, we were in college. We would just like, see each other at parties and then it would just be like, come over, you know, and then you just kind of hang out and hook up."

---

Dating Dynamics and Ex-Relationships

The conversation shifts to the complexities of dating and whether reconnecting with exes is beneficial or detrimental.

Joey (07:27): "When you go back, part of what you're trying to do is, like, live in the past. Like, you're trying to rewind your own clock."

Lauren and Joey agree that revisiting past relationships often leads to rediscovering frustrations rather than rekindling romance.

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Career in Comedy and Content Creation

Joey discusses his foray into comedy at the age of 21, emphasizing the challenges and rewards of performing stand-up.

Joey (14:46): "First several years, you just kind of suck and make no money."

He reflects on the evolution of his career, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic when live performances dwindled, leading him to pivot towards digital content.

Joey (39:35): "I remember I performed for the Cars. I like, went outside. I was at a parking garage in Santa Cruz and I performed for, like, four Toyotas."

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Social Media Impact and TikTok Experience

Joey and Lauren delve into the significance of social media in amplifying comedic reach. Joey shares his experiences with TikTok, Instagram, and the eventual shift away from platform-dependent validation.

Lauren (41:17): "Everyone was sitting on their phones. So suddenly people started watching my video."

Joey (43:24): "Watching is so empty. And then it's like when a video doesn't do well, you're like, what the fuck?"

They discuss the transient nature of online popularity and the importance of focusing on content quality over metrics.

---

Ayahuasca and Personal Growth

A thought-provoking segment arises when Lauren brings up ayahuasca, leading Joey to share his nuanced perspective on the practice.

Joey (21:26): "Anyone who does work knows that there's always work to do and you're never done. So I want to be a good person, but I'm not going to sit here and be like, I figured it out, babe."

Joey acknowledges the potential benefits of such practices for personal development but remains skeptical about superficial engagements with them.

---

Proposal and Engagement Story

Joey narrates the heartfelt story of his proposal to his wife amidst the chaos of the COVID-19 pandemic, highlighting resilience and intimacy.

Joey (34:16): "We went to my parents house. We were living at my parents house, which gets us to the engagement."

He describes the setting of the proposal, emphasizing the simplicity and genuine emotion behind it.

Joey (37:13): "We have some selfies and things, and then photos from that night. And you get tons of photos from the wedding and all that. But I ended up being glad that it was just the two of us."

---

Reflections on Aging and Future Plans

The duo reflects on the passage of time, the inevitability of aging, and the shifting priorities that come with it. Joey expresses his thoughts on having children and the balance between personal freedom and family life.

Joey (31:30): "The older that I go, I'm like, that'll be fun."

Lauren adds her perspective on enjoying different life stages, especially anticipating motherhood.

Lauren (26:39): "My mid-30s were the best time of my life."

---

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Joey highlighting where listeners can connect with him and follow his comedic journey.

Joey (46:29): "It's Joey Avery on Instagram. TikTok probably won't exist. YouTube is Joey Avery. Joeyavery.com live is my tour dates and my podcast is The Joey Show."

Lauren thanks Joey for his candidness and shared experiences, leaving listeners with a blend of humor and heartfelt moments.

Lauren (46:41): "Thank you for coming on my show."

---

Notable Quotes

• Joey on Social Anxiety Post-Landing:

  "The amount of social anxiety, like the second the plane lands is so intense, I just start. I like people. I start hating everybody. Like, it's bad. I don't like it at all." (02:00)

• Joey on Reconnecting with Exes:

  "So, I mean, I guess it could work, but it's. It's very case by case." (08:18)

• Lauren on Math and Aging:

  "That's the math I can understand. Yeah, that's." (32:04)

• Joey on Personal Growth and Continuous Improvement:

  "Anyone who does work knows that there's always work to do and you're never done." (21:26)

---

Key Takeaways

• Navigating Relationships: Joey emphasizes the importance of moving forward rather than dwelling on past relationships, highlighting the challenges of rekindling old flames.

• Adapting to Change: The pandemic profoundly impacted Joey’s career, pushing him to adapt by embracing digital platforms over live performances.

• Personal Growth: Despite skepticism towards certain self-improvement practices, Joey acknowledges the ongoing journey of becoming a better person.

• Balancing Career and Family: Joey shares his aspirations for expanding his family while maintaining his career in comedy, illustrating the delicate balance between personal and professional life.

---

This episode offers listeners a candid glimpse into Joey Avery’s life, blending humor with profound reflections on relationships, career, and personal growth. Whether you're a fan of his comedy or curious about his life journey, this conversation provides valuable insights and plenty of laughs.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

First date, baby. First date. I can't wait. First date.

[A]

Hello and welcome to another episode of First Date. My guest today is a very funny comedian. You can see him on tour. He also has his own show. It's called the Joey Show. Give it up for Joey Avery.

[B]

Thank you. It's an honor to be here.

[A]

Thank you for coming on.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

So you came in from New York.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You look warm.

[B]

I am, yeah. I am dressed like a green screen, but I do. I am warm. I'm swimming in this hoodie, but it's nice.

[A]

I like oversized hoodies.

[B]

Yeah, it's nice. And on an airplane, you want to, like, be in a blanket the whole time anyway, so it's perfect.

[A]

How soon do you stand after an airplane lands?

[B]

I mean, I wait my turn because I'm a respectful human being. I want to stand, but these sick fucks who are in the back, like, charging, like, we don't live in a society kind of bothers me, to be honest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like, there's a line. Sorry that you got 29F. I'm in 10. I go after nine. It's not that hard. It's very simple. But I'll stretch the legs if I need to. But I'm a window guy, so I'm kind of trapped.

[A]

Yeah. I don't like when someone stands up and then hovers over you with their, like, bag. So, like, you have no.

[B]

The amount of social anxiety, like, the second the plane lands is so intense, I just start. I like people. I start hating everybody. Like, it's bad. I don't like it at all. And I usually have to pee too, because I'm a window guy, but I'm a liquids guy.

[A]

Oh. So bad combo.

[B]

Tough combo. So I'm. But I'm also a gritted out guy. I don't go to the bathroom on the plane.

[A]

You don't?

[B]

I try. I mean, it fits a long flight, but I did, you know, four hours today, two Coffees before two waters. And I just retained my liquid.

[A]

Wow, you must be extremely dehydrated to retain that much.

[B]

No, I just. I didn't know it was mind over matter. I'm so hydrated, I'm keeping all of my fluids.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's insane.

[B]

Yeah, that's kind of crazy. It's a great flight, though. Got some work done.

[A]

I pee just from laughing, so. Yeah, I admire that. That's.

[B]

Do you pee more now that you're pregnant?

[A]

Oh, it's. That's like such a silly question, cuz.

[B]

You'Re peeing for two.

[A]

I guess so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I'm eating for two, I'm peeing for two, and my boyfriend drinks for three.

[B]

That's what he needs to. Yeah. That's good. Someone in the family has to stay getting hammered.

[A]

He needs to maintain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

His alcohol intake for all of us.

[B]

It's a fun quotient. And it's. You're a family now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Here are some appetizer questions. I see a ring on your finger. Are you married?

[B]

I am.

[A]

How long have you been married?

[B]

Be a crazy flex to just wear.

[A]

This if you just weren't married.

[B]

And you were like, I saw that one episode of Seinfeld where they said, girls like it. No, I'm married. I've been married for two years. We've been together for 13.

[A]

How old are you?

[B]

I'm 34.

[A]

You look really young.

[B]

Thank you. I moisturize and I retain all my l. Yes.

[A]

I was about to say that.

[B]

Peeing ages.

[A]

She's got a lot of water.

[B]

Yeah. 100%. Yeah.

[A]

That's awesome. Yeah. How did you meet her?

[B]

College.

[A]

What was she studying?

[B]

Boy coming with the stumpers out of the gate. No. How to suck on it. No, no, that's my wife. She. She was studying it at the school that we went to. She studied a thing called management science, I think, which is kind of like the closest thing to a business degree. But it's very mathy because she wanted to do engineering, but then was like, I can't. You know, she's like, cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. She tried, though.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I could never do anything that involves math.

[B]

No. I'm more of a vibes guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Math is low on vibes. They're like, that was wrong. And I'm like, I felt. Felt right. You know, I was down with math until they put the letters in.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I was like, don't bring the Alphabet into this.

[A]

I was never good at math. At anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ever.

[B]

Can you do, like, basic arithmetic?

[A]

Like, I failed pre algebra.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Three years in a row.

[B]

Okay. Wow.

[A]

I had to take. Had to go.

[B]

Couldn't make an adjustment.

[A]

Let's just. Let me know. Let me just. No, there's no adjustment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Once you're.

[B]

Yeah. You just kind of.

[A]

You just go with your pants around.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And so my parents kept thinking that I could, but I couldn't. And so three years in a row, I failed. I had to go to, like, Sylvan Learning Center.

[B]

That's tough. That's tough.

[A]

Yeah. That's where, like, people go with, like, true impairments.

[B]

I came up through the San Francisco comedy scene, and there was a house in San Francisco that a bunch of comics lived at, and it was always called Sylvan House because it was where all the, like, rejects and, like, dumb kids lived. And I guess they realized one day all the, like, you know, open liking, like, comics were like, were you in Sylvan? And then. So we just referred to it because they were all impaired.

[A]

Yeah. I couldn't say my R's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was like, quick it. They were like, what does a lion do? I'm like. It was.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I don't know.

[B]

Is that like, a Jersey accent?

[A]

Thank God I'm attractive.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. No, you'd be, because otherwise you would not have anything in that belly that would be empty. Yeah. Does anyone get fucked for their math prowess? Is that a thing?

[A]

Asians must.

[B]

Well, yep. You know, that is true.

[A]

Just saying, like, that's how.

[B]

I don't know if that's a byproduct. I don't know if that's.

[A]

I'm not sure. But I'm dumb, so if I get canceled, it won't shock anybody.

[B]

As a white guy, I can tell you Asians get fucked for a variety of reasons.

[A]

It's not just their cars stereotype. That super fat Zonda.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I'm usually not this rude. So do you. Let's get back into dating and not stereotyping.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's Asians. No. Do you still talk to any of your exes?

[B]

No, I only have one.

[A]

Only one?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That you ever were, like.

[B]

I mean, for a real relationship.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've been with two people. My wife and one ex who's like, high school into early college. And I've. You know, I've been with several other people, and I'm friends with some of them, but none that I was, like, deeply involved with.

[A]

Right. And so I assume you don't. You're married. You don't talk to her. Do you think that for other people going back to an ex is a good or a bad idea?

[B]

For what purpose?

[A]

Just like, you know, there's always a play. I feel like people go back to their ex when they're bored.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No one else. They've been waiting, they've been going out. They feel like maybe going back to their ex.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is better.

[B]

I. I heard something interesting that was like, when you go back, part of what you're trying to do is, like, live in the past. Like, you're trying to rewind your own clock. You're trying to revisit a different version of you. You're trying to be younger you. You're trying to live in, like, nostalgia. And it's probably awesome. I haven't done it, but I would imagine you go back, you smash. You're like, this is unreal. And then, you know, an hour after that, you're like, God damn, this person fucking pisses me off. I totally forgot about that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, I mean, I guess it could work, but it's. It's very case by case.

[A]

I agree. You know, I've never gone back to an accident. Worked out.

[B]

No. It seems like a really fun, exciting thing to do for two weeks until you realize why, you know, y'all broke up. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Yeah. Where do you think is the perfect first date?

[B]

Oh, that's a great question. I've never been on a date before.

[A]

What do you. How did you start dating your wife?

[B]

I met my first girlfriend in high school. Right. And then I met my wife in college. So I would just be like, at parties, like, so, you know, and. And then just try and just get girls that way by just being around at parties and social events. But it wasn't like, sitting down and like, let's get to know each other. Like, obviously I've taken women on dates, but it was people I was already seeing.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I've never gone on like a first date and been like, so what's your deal?

[A]

Yeah. What's your favorite color?

[B]

Yeah, you know, so this is it. This is my first. This is my first day.

[A]

Wow. So what do you. What's like, what do you do? Do you have an act? If. So if you. You and your wife. What's her name?

[B]

I don't usually say. Okay, we'll call her just a non public figure. Okay. Benny.

[A]

So Penny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where did you. How did you and Penny start, like, taking it outside of college? What did you guys do? You had to have done. Were you already a comic?

[B]

No, we met before I ever did comedy. We met, we were in college. We would just like, see each other at parties and then it would just be like, come over, you know, and then you just kind of hang out and hook up. You'd go, you know, do fun things, go to the beach.

[A]

I don't know. Listen, Joey, I didn't go to college, okay?

[B]

Oh, that's right. I forgot to shock. You know how to read. I completely forgot. Well, we've had two very different life experiences.

[A]

I don't even know what college is like.

[B]

I don't know what dates are like.

[A]

I don't know what a campus looks like or a dorm room. So none of that stuff.

[B]

Yeah, you're kind of just floating around. I would say a great, a great first date spot. I mean, like the classic thing is going out to dinner, but that's like, that's what everybody does, right? I think a beach day would be great.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And that might, I might be thinking back to. I went to college in San Diego, but it's like, go to the beach, you're hanging out, vibes are good, you get to kind of see what you're working with. 100% you know each other. You're like almost naked. So you're not going to be surprised.

[A]

Yeah, you could.

[B]

And, and you know, you could. If that person is a sober person, you can be active. If they like to get up and catch a day fade. Day fade, you can smash. Then you can go to dinner. After that, then you have a low pressure dinner, you already had sex.

[A]

That's a day fade.

[B]

That's a day fade.

[A]

What the. That's the most California thing you could have ever said.

[B]

Catching a day fade is awesome. Oh, where are you from?

[A]

I lived in California for 16 years. And if any guy would have referred to a date as a day fade.

[B]

No, no, the day fade's getting drunk during the day.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's not like. That's not how I'm referring about our time together. That's just any time you start getting hammered during the day, that's just what.

[A]

It'S called, catching a. David fucking loser.

[B]

Whatever, dude.

[A]

Yeah, catching a wave. I'm going to catch a day fade. I'm going to go catch a wave. And then I'm like, yeah, I get it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you?

[A]

I do, I do.

[B]

Where are you from?

[A]

Texas.

[B]

Okay. Okay. What do you call, like, strapping on a yee haw? Something like that?

[A]

No, there was no. I didn't even. I didn't Even have, like, my first kiss till I was 16. And I didn't even. I didn't lose my virginity until I was, like, 18.

[B]

That's the legal way.

[A]

That's shitty, dude.

[B]

Yeah. When do you think you should. Do you have, like, an ideal?

[A]

I didn't even think about that. But, like, whoever wants to do anything by the rules, right?

[B]

No, but depending on the rule.

[A]

But yeah, in general, you know, like, in general, you're trying to be rebellious.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, everyone that I've ever met, they're like, oh, I got my dick sucked when I was like, 12.

[B]

Yeah, well, those people are in therapy. I didn't. I didn't even touch, you know, puss or anything till probably sophomore year of high school. And yeah, I think I had sex junior year. Yeah. But I got it. I did drugs early. I got that out of the way.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Grade session there.

[A]

And was that just like, weed?

[B]

It was weed. And then they're also like, you know, ear muffet. Don't do this. But we did this. I was hanging out with, like, some bad kids, and they figured out you could buy these, like, cough pills or whatever and take a bunch of those and catch a day face.

[A]

Dude, are you from California?

[B]

Yeah. Bay area.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, my God, you look like the Bay Area. You do.

[B]

I'll take that.

[A]

Yeah. You look like a date fade from the tech era.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It all makes so much sense. And people in San Fran have, like, really nice skin. Like you for some reason.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

Unless they're homeless. Mmm.

[B]

That is tough. You know, fentanyl will do a number on the skin.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But, you know, they're flexible. They can, like, fold over.

[A]

I think it's the ocean air and the sun can do you some good.

[B]

And in San Francisco, it's. There's a lot of cloud cover, so when you're there, you know, you're not getting too much sun. Just a little bit. It's like a little spf.

[A]

Yeah. It's weird that you're agreeing with me, but I feel like.

[B]

Are we supposed to disagree the whole time?

[A]

We're not. Were you cool in high school? Yeah, I. I can. I. I'm not surprised.

[B]

I was cool, but, like, with a mild chip on my shoulder, so I kind of nailed it because, like, I didn't feel like I peaked because I wasn't a football guy. I was a baseball guy. And we didn't get as much respect. But, you know, people liked me. I was very fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And popular. But I was also like, how come those guys, you know, how come girls are wearing their jerseys? And so I always kind of felt like I had something to prove. And I think that's allowed me to not, you know, completely fall off a cliff like many of the guys who were also cool at that age.

[A]

When did you get into comedy?

[B]

20, I think I was 21.

[A]

So you've been in it for a while?

[B]

Yes. Yeah. First several years, you just kind of suck and make no money.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, yeah, it's like being an intern.

[B]

Yeah. You know, but it's like so exciting. Like, you could be doing an open mic for like four people and your whole day is like, I gotta kill.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like you have purpose, you know, so it's. It's always been really cool.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Yes. Yeah, so there's different steps. Like the career step is like go from touring to, you know, just bigger venues and more tickets and all that. And then in life. Yeah. Kids.

[A]

How many kids do you want?

[B]

Probably two.

[A]

It's a good number.

[B]

Yeah, probably two. You know, maybe three happens, but probably. But two and a half between. We got six on ice too. Got five boys and girls chilling in the freezer.

[A]

Did you guys.

[B]

Did.

[A]

Did she freeze her eggs?

[B]

Yes, because she has a job with good insurance. And so it was like a benefit that they offer really. Probably to keep women in the workplace longer, to be honest. But, but honestly, we, you know, I appreciate it. It's very expensive. We wouldn't have done it otherwise, but same thing.

[A]

I have, I have a couple of friends who did ivf.

[B]

It's kind of nice because then if we want to have kids later, you know, I'm not gonna have this like old jizz and then. Because that could make them weird, right?

[A]

Or just very chill.

[B]

I mean, they're gonna be chill.

[A]

You know what I mean? Yeah, they're gonna chill packed in a freezer for a while.

[B]

Oh, nice. Yeah, I thought you meant because I'm chill.

[A]

And I was like, yeah, you're not chill. Day fader. Let's see here. Where's the craziest place you've ever had sex?

[B]

Probably the top floor of my college library. It's a really cool library. It's like, one of the coolest libraries.

[A]

Did you try to stay quiet?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was anyone there?

[B]

Well, you have to stay quiet in a library.

[A]

But where people. Was this during the years?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah. But there's a bathroom. Do it in the bathroom. It's like you're studying. You know, you're down there studying, you're trying to work, and then you're trying to read this book. And reading. A lot of times you'll start reading and you'll just get hard because you're, like, hella bored. And then it's like, let's. Let's do this.

[A]

That's a thing.

[B]

It is. I don't know if it's universal, but.

[A]

I can honestly say a book. Well, besides 50 shades of gray, right?

[B]

No, it's not due to the book being stimulating. It's due to the book being boring. And then your dick's like, I got an idea.

[A]

I got something more fun.

[B]

Why don't we have an actually good time?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then. Then you release.

[A]

Why don't you get your head out of this book?

[B]

That's right. And.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And get my head into your hand? Yeah, There you go.

[A]

There you.

[B]

And then you can focus after that. Then you can read after that because you're more calmed down. And then you fall asleep. I might have A.D.D. i don't know, actually. Don't we all?

[A]

I think so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think cool people have add.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The people with good personalities.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like when someone tells me that they've done all the work and they're like, I've worked on myself. I'm cool, calm, collected. I don't have any kind of anxiety left in my life. I'm like, you sound fucking boring.

[B]

Do people say that to you?

[A]

I mean, people who have done ayahuasca?

[B]

Oh, yes. Yeah. What are your thoughts on that?

[A]

People who meditate and do yoga and, like, just really want to find their center.

[B]

Yeah. I've done two of the three. I've done yoga, I've meditated. I've read books about becoming a better person. But at the end of the day, like, I'm just a little too fun to just sit here and be like, I figured it out. I have no. If you say you have no problems left, you're a fucking sociopath.

[A]

You.

[B]

Anyone who does work knows that there's always work to do and you're never done. So I want to be a good person, but I'm not going to sit here and be like, I figured it out, babe. We're Good. That's insane there. You're a crazy person. And then I kind of want to do. I'm. I'm interested in. I kind of want to do it. But then people who do ayahuasca always are like, you know, we've been with the medicine, and, like, they're like, I do. And I'm just like. But, like, I would like to gain all the benefits of doing it, but I don't want to wear flowy pants and weird, like, tie necklaces.

[A]

I think that comes with it, though.

[B]

And I would look nice in both of those items.

[A]

I had a friend. What?

[B]

I mean, you know, welcome to my ashram. You know, that sort of vibe.

[A]

No, I feel like. Like, I had a friend who came back and did ayahuasca in Peru for a month, and she came back with these, like, little figurines that these Peruvians built in the jungle.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And they're, like, from wood, and they were hand carved. And when you're, like, up on drugs.

[B]

Like, this is the pants.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they're like, these are worth, like, thousands of dollars, but we're gonna sell them to you for 50 bucks.

[B]

Yeah. That's insane. And so it's like, I just have such a split mind on it, because I know for a fact that doing ayahuasca is probably incredibly valuable. Feels like a bunch of therapy packed into a couple days. I'm sure I could benefit from it, But I also know that there are a lot of people who live in Peru that are, like, doing this, and they're like, just tell the white people what they want to hear.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like. Yeah, tell them this panther is, like, part of the jungle or whatever, and.

[A]

They sell the medicine that they can legally go home with it. She came back with, like, some tree bark that's supposed to make your dick hard. And she.

[B]

She should try reading a book.

[A]

And she was like. She was like, I don't know why no one has taken this tree bark and, like, encapsulated it and sold it to men. It's the most natural way to get your dick hard.

[B]

It's insane.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

Yeah. It's like they used to, like, shave rhino tusks for the same purpose. It's like, just take a normal dick pill.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or, you know, look inside yourself.

[A]

Read a book.

[B]

Why is your dick not getting hard? Maybe it doesn't want to get hard because you've been beating it for so long.

[A]

There's a lot going on with the ayahuasca world that I'm like, I don't know.

[B]

I know, but I'm like, I'm sure it's valuable. I'm sure it would be valuable to me, but I'm just worried that I would then suck.

[A]

You'd be a different person. The big question is, do you want to be different?

[B]

No, not really. But I'm always like. I do think that one of the purposes of living is to try and continually better yourself. Yeah, but you know, without, like, I don't. I'm not in seeking a drastic change.

[A]

When does a drug make you necessarily better?

[B]

Kind of depends on the drug and what you're after. You know, like, Molly makes you better at like, staying up late and dancing.

[A]

You know, we're talking about being a better person.

[B]

Right, Right, right, right, right, right, right.

[A]

Not just better at like telling someone you love them.

[B]

Right. I think I've had, like, I. I haven't done it in a while, but like, early in my life I had some, like, big mushroom trips that I feel like, helped me and like, helped me see things clearly.

[A]

Well, then maybe ayahuasca would be fun for you.

[B]

I dabble in the other dimensions. Yeah, I'll poke around.

[A]

I won't.

[B]

Yeah, I'm good.

[A]

I'm. I'm poking around.

[B]

What if it taught you math?

[A]

I don't care to learn math.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm 37 years old. When do I need math?

[B]

Yeah, it's fair.

[A]

When I'm almost dead, you know, like, I'm at the end.

[B]

That might be a problem with your math right there. You actually have more time than you think. 80 is not four years from now. I have great news.

[A]

I'm just saying that when I think about how old I am, I'm shocked at how old I am.

[B]

I think everyone at a certain point is. I think like 30, like around. I mean, I'm. I just turned 34. I think like two days ago, I was like, oh, fuck. It was the first time that people are like, how old are you? And I'm like, I don't want to tell you anymore. Yeah, yeah. But at the same time, I think that there's benefits to being whatever age you are. Like, 20 is awesome for a bunch of reasons, but 30 is great for different ones. Like, 30 is kind of like you're like 20, but you don't do as much dumb shit. You have a little bit more money. You get to build your life. Like, that's fun. I don't need to be a 24 year old.

[A]

My mid-30s were the best time of my life.

[B]

Right. That and that just happened now. It sucks.

[A]

But that was my mid-30s. Now I'm in my late 30s.

[B]

Yeah, but you're going to. I swear, when you're in your 40s, you're going to be like, my late 30s were great, so you need to enjoy it now.

[A]

I know. I have a kid coming. Like, it's going to be great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm just saying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't need math.

[B]

Right. I'll concede that point.

[A]

He does.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And his dad is great at math. He's like Rain Man.

[B]

Really? He's mentally handicapped.

[A]

He's, I think.

[B]

Is that legal? Are you allowed to.

[A]

I've been calling him autistic for a long time. He's not.

[B]

He's not.

[A]

He's just like Rain Man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's the kind of person that can, like, do crazy math in his head.

[B]

Is he just doing, like, basic arithmetic and you're like, oh, my God. How do you know? 20% is on the bill? Probably, yeah. You have no idea what he's doing.

[A]

I actually don't.

[B]

He's probably just like, dude, she thinks I'm so good at math. It's crazy.

[A]

And I've always been attracted to foreign languages. So when he, like, speaks Chinese, it. I'm like, wow. All those numbers that you just, like, fiddled with in your head are just like.

[B]

You know that's a foreign language to you.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. You know that meme of the guy? It's like the white blonde guy and he's smiling and there's all the masks.

[B]

Zach Galifianakis. It's from Hangover, right?

[A]

It's all the math.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's how I feel. Like when he starts talking, I'm like.

[B]

It's funny because I was picturing that when you were talking about it.

[A]

That's what I see. And I'm like, damn, you're so smart. So smart, so smart.

[B]

So hot.

[A]

So crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments.

[B]

But that's weird.

[A]

Okay, one judgment. Anyway. Give it a try. @mintmobile.com. switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms at Mintmobile. And so, yeah, he can Take over the math.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Good skills.

[B]

Yeah. What does he do for work?

[A]

He owns a barbecue restaurant.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's.

[A]

So this baby's coming out smelling like brisket.

[B]

Yeah. I love that slow cook that.

[A]

I've never been hungry in this relationship.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ever. I told you, I went to New York for my baby moon and I had a miserable time.

[B]

Yeah, it was an odd choice.

[A]

It was horrible. I don't know who the fuck in there, right?

[B]

Why did you. Were you like watching a Christmas movie?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Like new December, let's get it. And then you're just pregnant on the subway. Like, what the. I live in New York now. I love it. But I'm not taking a vacation.

[A]

It was horrific. Yeah, horrific. I wanted to be outdoor. I was like, I want to go see all the Christmas lights and I want the hot chocolate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I want this romance. Because after this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, we have a kid.

[B]

Yeah. Snow romance film. So much better than it like actually is.

[A]

I should have just watched Home Alone.

[B]

Yeah, in Hawaii. That's what you should have done. Put that on in Hawaii.

[A]

It was a horrible idea.

[B]

But now you've learned.

[A]

I did learn.

[B]

So you have another baby.

[A]

I'm not going. Not going to New York.

[B]

Do you still get a baby moon when you have an existing child? Cuz then you have to bring it with you. And is it even like a rel.

[A]

I don't know. Because you don't really get another baby shower, right? You get like one.

[B]

Cuz they're like, just use the leftovers.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I didn't even think about that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Baby showers are such an interesting thing because it's like every once in a while they'll try and invite me and I'm like, I'm a man. I'm not going to a baby shower.

[A]

Mine was all girls.

[B]

Yeah, that's how it's supposed to be. That's a you guys thing. That was a you guys.

[A]

And I didn't have one guy that was like, oh man.

[B]

No, we are golfing. We were doing something else. We were like, have fun. Yeah, sounds great. Play the game where you eat like a Snickers out of a diaper or whatever. But like, yeah, I'm good.

[A]

I had dads thanking me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Thank you for taking my wife for a while.

[B]

You can miss me with that. I'm not going to a baby shower.

[A]

Yeah, no, you can go day fade.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I'll throw myself like a dad bachelor party where it's like last time before the baby Comes out. Guess we gotta get up all day.

[A]

Yeah. And you're already in New York, so. Yeah.

[B]

Peasy.

[A]

It's a tough place to do it.

[B]

I don't know if I will raise kids there. This is kind of a like, let's live here, pre kids vibe.

[A]

When do you think you're going to have kids?

[B]

I don't know for sure. I would say like two years.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm like, already kind of like, enjoying not having a kid and thinking about how much I enjoy that. But the longer that I go, I'm like, oh, it sounds like. I know it's like the hardest thing in the world, but it's like the older I get, the more I'm like, that'll be fun.

[A]

It will be fun. It's an arc in life.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like your world, the world outside your house shrinks because you can't do as many things. But, like, the world inside your house grows.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

And that's kind of cool.

[A]

That's the math I can understand. Yeah, that's.

[B]

That's math now.

[A]

That's how we add to life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I agree, though. I was the same way. I was like. But I was really ready for it. I was like, I was fine. You get to a place in life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where you're like, you're always scared.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But there is a time when you're like, maybe this actually is a good time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For this to happen.

[B]

I think that's how everything happens. Like, sometimes it's like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do that. Even, like, getting married, it was never like, I don't want to do it, but it just never felt right. And then it got to a point where I was like, feels totally right. Let's do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You just kind of know you gotta search within yourself. You have to use the plant medicine to find it.

[A]

Oh, my God. I do feel like if you want to do, like, drugs or go out or, like, have like, you have anything else left to, like, gotta get that out. Go get it out.

[B]

And I think your. Your body, almost like it starts shutting down to a point where it's like, you go out, you have a big night, you have a crazy fun time, and then the next day, it hurts so much more than it used to.

[A]

Ye.

[B]

You reach a point in your life where you're like, I. Even if I wanted to keep doing that, I can't do that as much.

[A]

As I used sustainable. No, you need to.

[B]

Life Forces you to be a better person.

[A]

You need something new to complain about.

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't just always complain about how hungover you are.

[B]

Yeah. It's a weird look at a certain age. It's like, how many times have you rung this bell? And I like to catch a day fade. I still like to have a good time. But you can't be a.

[A]

Well, luckily for you, I can tell you that as a man, you can still catch fucking.

[B]

Day fades sub, dude. Yeah.

[A]

Even when your wife is pregnant. Yeah.

[B]

Actually. Parents. It's so funny. I know people who are parents and they get as drunk as anybody. They just. It's like just change their window. You know, they just do it earlier.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or later or at the house. It just changes that. They're not going out to bars and stuff, but they're like kids asleep. I'm having scotch and I'm like, Tuesday. What? I'm not. I don't have a kid. I'm like drinking water and been asleep.

[A]

Well, I guess for my dessert question, how did you propose to your wife?

[B]

Ah, Covid proposal. Oh, Covid proposal. And so we were living. So during COVID we. We were living in San Francisco at the time. And then this like meth head squatter just kept breaking into our apartment repeatedly. And so we had to leave. So then we moved.

[A]

You had to leave?

[B]

We had to leave. So I love San Francisco, but that was my one pet peeve. I didn't think that was great.

[A]

Why didn't he have to leave?

[B]

Well, they took him to jail. They got him because they had him on a. He had a. He had an alias and like, he was under a false name. And they, like, they got him and they threw him in jail. And I was like, thank God, finally this dude's in jail. Because he kept breaking in and then he wouldn't do anything.

[A]

This guy sounds like a serial killer.

[B]

He was. I think he was really into meth. And then he was into squatting. And he had lived there, but then the roommate moved out and so he just started squatting and just freaking out. And he would like knock on our door and be like, is that your white Jeep? And I'd be like, no. And he's like, well, we need to go. We're all going to die. The earthquake's coming. And I was like, no, thank you. And then he broke in and he was just like, I wasn't there, but I saw on the ring camera, he broke in and just like demanded the rent money and then closed the door and left. So, you know, he was doing a decent amount of meth, I think.

[A]

And how long did you live in this place before you?

[B]

For two years. It was great. And then Covid hit and just went insane. And so then that happened. They find out he has an alias, he's got a warrant out for his arrest. They take him to jail. I'm watching him. They go in with guns. They put his hands behind his back. He's like, ow, ow, ow. I think he liked getting pounded in the ass, but he basically goes to jail. And because I think people would say California didn't handle Covid the best, they were like, he's going to be out in like three days. And so we were like, fuck it. Like, I'm just not. Like we could go through a whole legal system, but I was just like, I don't want to be here anymore. We went to my parents house. We were living at my parents house, which gets us to the engagement, which was your initial question.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And right near my parents house there's this lovely like old villa with these like redwood forests. And so I was like, hey, let's go out for a walk. It was New year' Eve, which was also our first date, which at that time I think was 10 years previous. And we went for a walk and there's like a. There's stadium seating. There are the rose, her, the first letter of her name and mine were next to each other and our favorite numbers were next to each other. So we're sitting in those seats. And then I proposed come back. And like my like parents had prepared like a little food and champagne and stuff. And friends came by and then it was covet, so you couldn't like do that much. But it was New Year's Eve and we'd already rented a giant airbnb with like 12 of our friends for a New Year's Eve so we could celebrate.

[A]

Fun.

[B]

And so I had like a built in engagement party and it was great.

[A]

That sounds perfect.

[B]

Yeah, it was great.

[A]

I mean, for Covid and like how you planned it and stuff. Was she surprised?

[B]

She was surprised. And she was like, God damn it. I would have worn more makeup. All these pictures, I'm like crying.

[A]

But was there someone taking pictures?

[B]

I was, I had initially planned to have like her parents and some friends like waiting when we walked out and like picnic and then my friend was gonna take pictures and then there was. Someone got exposed to Covid. And at the time that was like a whole thing. And everyone's old, so we're like, fine, screw all that. We're still gonna party with our friends. And I scrapped having everybody. And I was actually both ways work. I felt like I had to plan something, but I ended up being really happy that it was just the two of us because it's like, you know, that's what it's all about.

[A]

More intimate.

[B]

We have, like, you know, some selfies and things, and then photos from that night. And you get tons of photos from the wedding and all that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I ended up being glad that it was just the two of us.

[A]

How long did it. From when you proposed, did you get married?

[B]

Probably a year and four or five months, I think.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I always say once you get engaged, people like, when's the wedding? And we were just kind of, like, taking things at our own pace. I was just like, we don't know yet. I don't like right now. We're enjoying this. It's fun being engaged. So we're just gonna do that for five or six months, and then we'll start doing the whole planning.

[A]

I saw a Covid wedding on the beach. I was in California when Covid was happening.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I saw a Covid wedding on the beach. And the. The pastor had on a face shield.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You know, the bride and groom both had on, like, masks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All the guests had on, like, face shields too. And I'm just sitting there and I'm just like, you couldn't have pushed this?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A little bit longer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All your pictures for all the rest of time.

[B]

It's. It was just such a tough time. Like, people made crazy decisions during COVID and I don't fault anybody for them because I watched, like, people in my life just lose their fucking mind. I feel like I was going crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cuz, like, I couldn't. Like, I just had all this, like, weird energy. Like I couldn't perform. Like, I couldn't do stand up and.

[A]

Like, that actually stand up wasn't even going on, at least not in California for like a year.

[B]

I did like two zoom shows. I was like, that's not it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I remember I performed for the Cars. I like, went outside. I was at a. On top of a parking garage in Santa Cruz and I performed for, like, four Toyotas. And I felt so alive because I'd been doing zoom and I was like, finally back up on stage and I was getting, like, brights flashed at me and they would like, honk. And people talk about how bad that is. Yeah. Compared to normal comedy. But I hadn't done it. And I was like, I'm so back. I was losing my mind. I had. I would, like, go to a party. Like, we did, like, hang out with, like, two friends, and we'd, like, drink, and then we'd be like, a couple hours in. I'd be like, I don't feel. I would just get, like. I don't know. I just felt wrong.

[A]

I know some people went the. The way of working out, and they were like, this is the time that I'm gonna, like, get into shape. And yeah, there were people like me who just decided to drink.

[B]

Yeah, I did. I made that same. I'll tell you, the first two weeks of COVID were the greatest experience of my life. It was like, nobody. Nobody can go anywhere. No one's going to work. We'd all just get on zoom. It was like a. It was like a sick day for the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I actually think this is actually crazy. I went to my best friend's bachelor party in New Orleans the week before it all shut down. And I remember we went hard that Sunday. We drank before the flight. I, like, got home up, and I remember I have work the next day, and I was just, like, lying in bed, and I was like, please, like, be sick when you wake up or something tomorrow. Like, just. You can't go. I don't want to go back into the office. And I woke up the next day. The world was shut down. And I've never worked in an office a day the rest of my life. Yeah, I will that into existence.

[A]

That's pretty awesome.

[B]

Sorry, if your family members pass.

[A]

I know it's bad time for some people. My social media blew up.

[B]

It, like, me too.

[A]

Everyone was sitting on their phones.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So suddenly people started watching my video.

[B]

It was helpful. Yeah. The. The degradation of everyone's individual ment really did help me kind of soft launch my career.

[A]

It really did for me too. I started making more and more funny content.

[B]

You had to learn how to do, like, content. It was like, what you had to do is, like, your only way of reaching people.

[A]

Dude, I've been doing content for years. Like, making funny sketches. Yeah, for years. And, like, all of a sudden, the first month of COVID all of my videos spiked.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, awesome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Great. And so then all. Then I was like, well, I'm gonna start doing every kind of funny video I possibly could. I started doing tiny hand stuff.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. And so while everyone was dying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was just trying.

[B]

You need comic relief, though. Like, if you know, someone's like, oh my God, I'll never see grandma again. But then for a few minutes you're like, hahaha. And they're like, it's okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's an even trade.

[A]

So, yeah, I was it.

[B]

Tick Tock. Mostly it.

[A]

Yeah. At first it was Tick tock.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I had someone that was like, you should just put your TikToks on Instagram.

[B]

And it's like, yeah.

[A]

I was like, God, I never even thought of that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so then I started putting all the Tik Tok stuff on Instagram and then started like bleeding it through the rest of the platforms.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And for like two years it really worked out for me.

[B]

How do you feel about the TikTok ban?

[A]

I don't give a shit.

[B]

You're. You're off it.

[A]

I'll tell you something about social media and being popular on social media, there's a point where you just stop caring.

[B]

Yeah. You have to. Otherwise you've lost you. Otherwise you lose it.

[A]

I just, I, like, I got a million followers on Tick Tock and I was like, oh my gosh.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I got 2 million and I was like, okay, well, yeah, I'm not that great at math, but all that's changed is a number.

[B]

Feels like a double.

[A]

I'm like, cool. We put one and one together.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And made two. And then it hit like 2.1 and 2.2 and I'm like, man, the metrics.

[B]

Watching is so empty. And then it's like when, when a video doesn't do well, you're like, what the fuck? And then you just get to the point where you're like, what I want to focus on is the actual thing that I'm making. And the results will be what they will be. But the fun thing is being like, I'm excited to post this. This feels funny to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's see.

[A]

It was fun when I started posting some stand up and like getting real exposure instead of just the set. The sketches I was doing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, oh. People, like, don't think I'm funny.

[B]

The medium makes a difference.

[A]

It's like I should really stick to the sketches.

[B]

You go up on stage with the tiny hands, you're like, what's the deal with.

[A]

I actually thought that like, tiny hands would save me. And it's funny that you say that because I would wear an oversized sweatshirt and come out with tiny hands. It was like, it was like at a comedy club. Yeah. And I go up to the, to the Microphone with my little hands. And I'd be like, hey, guys, thank you so much tonight. And like, with these dumb hands.

[B]

Oh, my God, that's. That's unreal.

[A]

Just.

[B]

And every comic in the back is going, 2 million on TikTok. 2 million on TikTok.

[A]

Yeah. And I just started realizing how, like, not funny my stand up was in public. And no matter how funny you think it is or like, if you have a banger of a night at a club and you're like, everyone was like, laughing so hard you just put it on the Internet, the world will tell you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you're good or not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I've pretty much quit stand up. And.

[B]

Well, it's also. But like, stand up is like, it's like anything. It takes a really long time. Like, it takes a long time with sketches to learn how to do. I've. I've gotten good at stand up. But then I'll post a sketch and be like, this is a banger. And then I'll be like two hours into it being live and I'll be like, ah, delete that. Everything's a discipline. Like, you gotta learn how to do it.

[A]

It's rough.

[B]

And you're also not going to be good at everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But stand up hurts the most. It does when people don't like that. It's fucking. It's right there.

[A]

But it's. But like, sketches are like a drug for me. So I would just go back and I would just make another sketch and then suddenly. Yeah, I go up. Go up another hundred thousand followers and I'm like, okay, cool. You guys still like me?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sweet. I'm never posting another stand up clip ever again.

[B]

Sounds like a good move.

[A]

So anyway, where can they.

[B]

Have you tried big hands? Because big hands might be the unlock. There's something.

[A]

Never thought of it. Didn't think of it. Yeah, I should have. I. I really should have. So anyway, where can people find you?

[B]

Yes, it's Joey avery on Instagram. TikTok probably won't exist. YouTube is Joey Avery. Joeyavery.com live is my tour dates and my podcast is the Joey Show.

[A]

Amazing. Thank you for coming on my show.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Let's go Catch a day fade.

[A]

Catch a day fade. You guys, thank you so much for tuning in and watching. See you next time.

[B]

First date.

[A]

Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner?

[B]

First date. I can't wait.

[A]

You told your mom about me?

[B]

Just say you're ready.

[A]

Delete my number. First date your parents are your roommates.