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Drew Nickens
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Unknown Host
I'm so excited to see you tonight.
Drew Nickens
First Date, baby. First date.
Unknown Host
I can't wait.
Drew Nickens
First date.
Unknown Host
Hello, and welcome to another fabulous episode of First Date. My guest today is a very funny comedian that you've seen on Kill Tony. Give it up for Drew Nickens.
Drew Nickens
Hi.
Unknown Host
Hello.
Drew Nickens
Oh, man, I love that song. It reminds me of, like, a John Hughes movie in the 80s. It just reminds me of that universe. I don't know why, but it's really catchy.
Unknown Host
Thank you. I'll let my team know. You're the first one. I mean, usually it's too long and everyone mentions it. They're like, it's so long.
Drew Nickens
Yeah, they're fuddy duddies. Yeah, you don't need a fuddy duddy like that.
Unknown Host
Too many fuddy duddies. What do we have in this black bag here?
Drew Nickens
This is actually for you. Oh, so. So it's either a for while you're pregnant or it's a little food stash.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Drew Nickens
So I got you. I got you a 7 up, because you never know.
Unknown Host
I like to burp. 7 up makes me burp.
Drew Nickens
Oh, excellent. Cool. And then I got you a Hershey's bar. And then I got those. So I got those because I used to work in a poker room as a cashier, and one of the guys, his second job was a gas station attendant, and he brought those. They are incredible.
Unknown Host
What is it?
Drew Nickens
It's Flaming Hot Tostitos.
Unknown Host
There's, like, shrimp and cucumber.
Drew Nickens
Yeah, because you could do it in, like, ceviche. But no, it's just. It's just a Flamin Hot instead of Flamin Hot Cheetos. It's Flamin Hot Tostitos.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Drew Nickens
Really, really good and red.
Unknown Host
This is gonna make me shit my brains out.
Drew Nickens
You know what?
Unknown Host
I appreciate it.
Drew Nickens
Cleansing of the body.
Unknown Host
Pregnancy makes you constipated. I appre. Appreciate it.
Drew Nickens
Ayahuasca does the same thing. So, you know.
Unknown Host
And then a Hershey's bar. Yeah.
Drew Nickens
With almonds.
Unknown Host
Amazing. You know, I'm glad that they're almonds. Because I'm allergic to almost all other nuts, but not almonds. You nailed it.
Drew Nickens
This is what the first aid is for. You get something and they go, I'm allergic to it. You're like, my bad. Well, at least I know before you ate it.
Unknown Host
But I'm not. I can actually eat this. So we've got something savory, something sweet, and something that's gonna make me take the edge off.
Drew Nickens
Right?
Unknown Host
Amazing. Thank you so much.
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am. Of course.
Unknown Host
I don't have anything for you.
Drew Nickens
No worries.
Unknown Host
Next time.
Drew Nickens
No worries. Anytime that I go on a date, I try to bring something. Because to me, bringing something shows that you care and you're. And if I've been talking to the person for a while, no worries, no worries.
Unknown Host
I'm sorry.
Drew Nickens
No, no, no. You didn't do anything wrong. It's how I. Because, like, if I've been talking to someone, I'll ask him a little question. So when I bring stuff, it shows, I listen.
Unknown Host
Yeah, it does. What do you typically bring to a first date?
Drew Nickens
Four dollar flowers.
Unknown Host
Nice.
Drew Nickens
And their favorite candy.
Unknown Host
How do you know what their favorite. Oh, you asked.
Drew Nickens
I asked them. But I asked them, like, very slyly, like, hey, what's your favorite dinner entree and what's your favorite candy? I'll. I'll like sandwich. A question in between. Yeah, it's like in between.
Unknown Host
So they have no idea.
Drew Nickens
So they have no idea.
Unknown Host
What is the weirdest answer you've ever gotten?
Drew Nickens
Almond Joy.
Unknown Host
People still eat those.
Drew Nickens
I know.
Unknown Host
That's an odd thing to eat.
Drew Nickens
And Almond Joy. Almond Joy. I hate coconut. I was like, you know, Red Clyde.
Unknown Host
Or it's just all for them. They don't have to worry about you sharing it.
Drew Nickens
Yeah. I mean, do cocaine, don't do Almond Joy, please.
Unknown Host
Let's go ahead and get into some appetizer questions. How do you meet people?
Drew Nickens
So the best place I like to go, I like to go country dancing.
Unknown Host
Like two stepping?
Drew Nickens
Yes, yes. That's what I've been doing for the last 10, 12 years. It's like I go dancing.
Unknown Host
Solid.
Drew Nickens
Yeah. It's the only way place that's really dark. But you're still face to face.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
So they don't see the complete face until the lights come on. So they can get to know really, before the lights come.
Unknown Host
You're catfishing. In real life, it's not catfishing.
Drew Nickens
It's just, you know, you have to ease into it. That's how it is. You know, when you look like sloth from the Goonies. You gotta ease into it. Like, you can't. I'm not. I'm not the most attractive man, but I have a beautiful heart. That's how that works.
Unknown Host
Oh, that's. But it sounds like you can really.
Drew Nickens
Oh, God, all the guys love me.
Unknown Host
They do. It's too bad you're not gay. I know you would have your pick of the litter, dog.
Drew Nickens
I'd be the best skateboarder on Grindr if I was doing that. 50. 50.
Unknown Host
So when you go two stepping, do you wear like the cowboy hat and the cowboy boots?
Drew Nickens
I wear boots and I wear Wranglers. And then I'll wear like a button up shirt and I don't wear a cowboy hat because I don't want to seem authentic. I'm still. I still got the.
Unknown Host
Still got the Napoleon Dynamite thing going on.
Drew Nickens
So I'm still trying to be me, but I dress up like a job interview. That's what it is.
Unknown Host
And do you pull a lot of chicks?
Drew Nickens
No. They sure love dancing with me.
Unknown Host
But no, that's as far as we get.
Drew Nickens
Oh, I'll get their Instagram and they'll be like, I'm going dancing. I dance with them. And then they're like, you're a great friend. And I'm like, cool.
Unknown Host
Oh, man.
Drew Nickens
Happens. You want someone to choose you. I think what people and like the evil incels don't get is you want someone who wants to be with you. You want to make someone happy, and you want someone that wants to make you happy. And once you understand that in relationships, that's what really will make something blossom. Like a lot of people talk about sparks. The way that you get a spark is like, let's say we're talking and I said, what's your passion? And you talk about your passion and it makes me happy. Hearing you happy about what? Something you care about. That's when I'm like, okay, there's a spark there, because I see some. I want to make you happy. I want to make you smile. I want to put forth that effort. Just like your passion gives you this vigor and this living for life. I want to be able to be a part of that or make that happen whichever way I can.
Unknown Host
What makes you happy in a relationship?
Drew Nickens
I've never been in a relationship, so I don't. Yeah. I'm 34 and I've never had a girlfriend.
Unknown Host
Really?
Drew Nickens
I know. It's okay, though.
Unknown Host
Do you want a girlfriend?
Drew Nickens
More than anything in the world.
Unknown Host
Aw.
Drew Nickens
Well, that's okay. I don't I'm not gonna force anything anymore because I've. I've understood that, like, I want to find someone that I really care about and cares about me. And now that everything's been happening the last like eight months where now I'm on Kill Tony and, you know, I'm getting a little bit more fame. It. I want someone who wants who I am and like, I have a brain injury and most people don't know that unless you watch Kill Tony or. You hear me talk. You hear me talk. You're like, oh, man, that guy's got something wrong. That's kind of how that happens.
Unknown Host
How did you get a brain injury?
Drew Nickens
So I don't want to go into it too much, but I got bullied by some co workers in the air force and. Yeah. And so after that I got a really bad brain injury.
Unknown Host
That's awful.
Drew Nickens
Yeah, I got ct, but I'm not like the mass murdering ct.
Unknown Host
I'm not gonna kill anybody. That's good.
Drew Nickens
I'm more like, let's watch the Wiggles.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
I love Sesame street, dog. It's so cool, dog. Are you gonna have a baby? So you get to listen to Sesame street all the time. Oh, yeah, don't do the cocoa melon, do Sesame Street.
Unknown Host
Okay. I'll hit you up for shows to watch.
Drew Nickens
I'll give you a playlist of bops from Sesame street that you're just like, yo. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And.
Unknown Host
What do you think is the most unattractive thing about women?
Drew Nickens
Oh, oh, they're so great. Let's see. Oh, when they like stuff like chaperone, I'm like, yo, why you got bad taste in music? Like, Noah Kahn is like chalkboard screeches with ambiance. Like, when they have really bad taste in, like, music, I'm like, no, come on, gain a little personality like that.
Unknown Host
Like Sesame Street.
Drew Nickens
Yes.
Unknown Host
You know, put a little waka flock.
Drew Nickens
In there, you know, Nothing wrong with that. Have a little joy in your life. Go hard in the paint.
Unknown Host
Where do you like to. Where do you like to take girls on a first date?
Drew Nickens
The arcade.
Unknown Host
Fun.
Drew Nickens
Because one, you get to see how competitive they are. You get to. You, you. You're in a relaxed setting, so when you're playing, you can have a natural conversation with people. It's. There's no pressure there. And it's relatively like 60 to. It just depends on where you go. Like 12 to $60.
Unknown Host
Do you live here in Austin?
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am.
Unknown Host
Have you been to Mr. Gaddy's?
Drew Nickens
No. Oh, my God.
Unknown Host
Have you guys been to Mr. Gaddy's? Oh, my God, I'm about to blow your curly haired brain. So Mr. Gaddy's is a pizza buffet, okay? It's all you can eat. And they have these cinnamon sticks that are out of this world. They have a salad bar with goldfish. I know I'm tickling your fancy here. I'm selling you on the food first. Fountain drinks galore. Like every single kind of fountain drink you can possibly imagine. And then they have an arcade, okay, in the back, okay? So if you buy the pizza buffet, which I think is like $12, you can also have them make you whatever kind of pizza you want. You can go into to the arcade, which is usually pretty large, and play the games. I think you still have to pay for the games. But they also have movie rooms. Like three different movie rooms, all free. One is for kids. So it's like kids movies. Like, that's probably where I want to go. And then they have one that's all sports, okay. And then they have one that has no TVs, where if you just want to, like, go sit in a room with your family or whatever, this place is like a wet dream for you.
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am. How is the cheese bread, though? I am. I'm a cheeseburger.
Unknown Host
Oh, my God, it's so freaking good.
Drew Nickens
So whenever I travel, I try to find a place like a local place with cheese bread.
Unknown Host
This. I'm telling you, the cheese bread, the cinnamon sticks, the pizza, the salad bar.
Drew Nickens
Because I have an issue with Chuck E. Cheese. I know this is controversial coming from me, but goldfish does not belong on cheese bread.
Unknown Host
Okay. I thought you were going to say on a salad bar.
Drew Nickens
No, salad bar. Yes, but. But they put goldfish on the garlic bread. Dog, that is preposterous.
Unknown Host
That's gross.
Drew Nickens
Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool.
Unknown Host
From Progressive, you can find options that.
Drew Nickens
Fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. I have to use a Scrabble word to show how angry I am when I do that. It's so. It's so.
Unknown Host
You have to go to Mr. Gaddy.
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am.
Unknown Host
There's one in Round Rock.
Drew Nickens
Okay.
Unknown Host
So it's a bit of a drive. There's closer ones than this one. Do you drive?
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am.
Unknown Host
Go to Mr. Gaddy's. I want you to take a date there.
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am.
Unknown Host
And do the pizza and the arcade.
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am.
Unknown Host
And tell me that you don't leave with, like, more than a friendship.
Drew Nickens
I go to Cidercade and, like, I took a girl there and then we were kissing on the back of her PT Cruiser. And then she was. Yeah, she had a PT Cruiser. It was.
Unknown Host
That's hot. Was she a mom?
Drew Nickens
No.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Drew Nickens
She just had issues. Yeah. No one. No one gets a PT Cruiser because they're a well adjusted human being. I had one with anyone. Anyone that's had a little bit of problems in their life, you know?
Unknown Host
Was it like one of those eggplant color ones?
Drew Nickens
Oh, no, it was red.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Drew Nickens
It was like a deep red. Like. Like stripper lipstick cred.
Unknown Host
Okay. So y'all were making out on.
Drew Nickens
We were kissing, and then she's like, oh, I'm great. I can't wait till the next eight. Six hours later, I think we should just be friends. I got a lot going on in my life. I was like, okay, cool.
Unknown Host
What changed?
Drew Nickens
Who does? I don't know, man. I feel like when. When women connect with me, they get like a one night stand regret. Even though there's no sex there. They're like, oh, shit, that guy. You mean the short buzz guy? I don't want to fall in love with that. It's okay.
Unknown Host
Take him to Mr. Gatti's.
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am. I know. That's an order.
Unknown Host
This is my. This is my rec. My high recommendation to you.
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am.
Unknown Host
When I found out that I was pregnant, I took to, like, celebrate. We went to Mr. Gatti's at the end of the first trimester when we were like, yes. And we got to the second trimester, guess where we went?
Drew Nickens
Mr. Gaddy's.
Unknown Host
Mr. Gaddy's.
Drew Nickens
Dude, did you do Dance Dance Revolution?
Unknown Host
No, I don't think they had that.
Drew Nickens
Then you didn't do that? You didn't do that while you were pregnant.
Unknown Host
But I might do it now if that helps. Later.
Drew Nickens
Yeah, dog. Do it to some Japanese anime.
Unknown Host
Just like, are you good at that?
Drew Nickens
No. No, not at all.
Unknown Host
What game are you good at in the arcade?
Drew Nickens
I went on a date when I was in Dallas.
Unknown Host
I skipped right over this question.
Drew Nickens
It's coming, it's coming.
Unknown Host
The answer's coming.
Drew Nickens
So I asked this girl to go to an arcade and we went to a round one in Grapevine. And I never met the girl, but we danced a couple times, like, ah, let's Go hang out. And then we had a competition. 7, 0. She beat me in every game.
Unknown Host
Wow.
Drew Nickens
I was like, oh, my gosh.
Unknown Host
She probably thought you were just being nice.
Drew Nickens
No, she was like, at first she did. And then when I was like, oh, I'm really excited about this one. And she won, she's like, oh, okay. So I have a lot of spirit when I'm there. I'm very excited.
Unknown Host
Mm.
Drew Nickens
I'm like. I'm like the bench player that everyone loves.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Drew Nickens
Not very good at the game, but I'm there. I'm like, you probably don't know this is a very obscure, obscure sport for. I'm like, Mark Madsen. Mark Madsen was the white guy on the bench for the Timberwolves and the LA Lakers. He was always fired up, but they never put him in the game.
Unknown Host
So, you know, he was like a cheerleader.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Drew Nickens
Woo. But, yeah, that's kind of how that works.
Unknown Host
Well, you seem fun to go out with.
Drew Nickens
Yeah, I'm fun. I'm not. Like, I don't think people don't have fun when they hang out with me. They just don't see me in a romantic sense. I don't get angry about it anymore.
Unknown Host
Did you used to get angry about it?
Drew Nickens
I used to get sad. I watch a lot of Dawson's Creek. Okay, ma'am, hold on here. Dawson's Creek is one of the greatest.
Unknown Host
On the CW though. Huh? That was on the cw, the wb.
Drew Nickens
Before it was the cw. So CW is actually upn and the WB being like, we can't have a network by ourselves. Let's combine. So it was the wb. Oh, with the frog got.
Unknown Host
Yeah, that's a throwback. Okay, well, then I don't think I saw Dawson's Creek when it was on wb, but it.
Drew Nickens
But it's still on Netflix and Hulu. It's a great TV show.
Unknown Host
I like more period pieces like what Bridgerton did. I just. Is that a red flag?
Drew Nickens
No, you can say it. Not a red flag. But we won't be watching that when.
Unknown Host
We'Re not, like, what about, like, Harry Potter?
Drew Nickens
Great movie.
Unknown Host
Love Harry Potter.
Drew Nickens
I have a funny story about Harry Potter. So I didn't read the seventh book. I wanted to wait till the movie to really connect. I was like, I don't want to spoil it. I want to watch the movie. I don't want to read the book and my favorite character. Take a guess on what my favorite.
Unknown Host
Character was out of all of Harry Potter.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Hold on. I want to actually make an educated guess. Here. Was it a main character? Dobby?
Drew Nickens
Yeah, how'd you know? Dang dog. No, we look alike. I get it. But no, so. So I. I go on a date with this girl I'd known in high school. She was really cool. And we go on this date and I'm like, he sticks up. He goes, dobby's got his friends. And I'm so happy. I'm like, you go. I'm like, happy. Just. You go, Dobby. I'm. Because I'm half black, so I'm acting black in the movie theater. Like, you go, let's go getting hype. And then I see the knife go through, and I'm like, dog. They go kill Ron. They go kill Hermione. They gonna kill Harry. Cause they gonna kill my man Dobby. Dobby's dead. And I'm crying. I'm, like, huffing crying. My date is horrified. The person next to me is laughing hard as they can. And I'm like, it's a woman. I can't hit them. And I'm so sad. And then we walk out and my date's car gets repoed. Yeah, the car got repoed during the movie. And then she's like. She didn't want me to know where she lives, so I had to take her to her grandma's house. I love Harry Potter.
Unknown Host
Oh, man.
Drew Nickens
Great show. Great movie. It's so fun.
Unknown Host
It hits everyone a little different.
Drew Nickens
Yeah. I don't want to read the book. No, Mo.
Unknown Host
I don't blame you.
Drew Nickens
I didn't watch the second movie. I was like, you killed the best character in the movie.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
I don't even know what happened.
Unknown Host
I've had the Chamber of Secrets on, like, replay so much, I fall asleep to it. Oh, yeah.
Drew Nickens
Oh, that's nice.
Unknown Host
I'm surprised I'm still in a relationship.
Drew Nickens
No, they probably know how to tune it out now. Like. Yeah, you know, like, you have a favorite song that you listen to. And he's just like, I hate this thing. And he's just. It's out of sight, out of mind. He's thinking about something else. He's got a monkey going like this in his brain to tune it out.
Unknown Host
What kind of music do you like to listen to?
Drew Nickens
So right now, I'm in a Texas country progressive house. And a little bit of bachata and a little bit of, like. A little bit of rap. Not as much as I used to be. And then, like. Like, just, like, in and out. Little bit of indie music, a little bit of Billie Eilish because she Speaks to my soul, you know?
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
How do you feel about Beyonce winning best country album?
Drew Nickens
It's the same thing as, like, Kendrick losing to macklemore. It's literally 10 years. I think it was like, 10, 12 years ago. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Like, if you're gonna complain about it. Personally, I thought the album was trash, but, you know, most of the time, the Grammys don't get it right in my book. So I don't. So I don't get mad anymore, you know, And I realized my brain broken. So Drew no known music, but it's okay. And so I just don't. I don't get offended by it. Like, when you get offended by who wins something and gets an achievement, then you need to look internally because. Yeah, you know, to me, awards for other people, unless you're get. You're being considered and it's like, rejection. Who. Why. Why get. Why get so amped up about stuff like that?
Unknown Host
Yeah, it's controversial.
Drew Nickens
Yeah. Like Amelia Perez trash movie, but going to win everything. So penis to vagina.
Unknown Host
What. What's your favorite kind of cuisine?
Drew Nickens
Ooh. So Golden Corral. Banana pudding.
Unknown Host
Oh, my God.
Drew Nickens
Oh, and ma'am, you're still pregnant, so this worked for you. Go to the salad bar. When you walk into Golden Corral, go to the salad bar, get a salad bowl, and then go over to the banana pudding. Because you know how they like to limit us. Yeah, they're like, oh, you get the small bowls. No, you get a salad bowl. I learned it from someone that looks like Honey Boo Boo's mom. You go. You get a salad bowl, and then you load up the banana pudding, and it's just great.
Unknown Host
Okay, so your favorite cuisine is banana.
Drew Nickens
Pudding and steak, but not from Golden Corral. Yeah, but no, I. I mean. But yeah, that's. That's cuisine, right? Like five star. Right.
Unknown Host
What about, like, a genre of food? Like Mexican food?
Drew Nickens
Okay.
Unknown Host
Indian, Chinese.
Drew Nickens
I love Filipino food. Like, like, so Filipino food, like sisig and chocolate meat, which is like, meat that's marinated in, like, cow's blood and, like, stuff like that. Balut duck embryo. Like, it's good. Whenever I can get it, it's good.
Unknown Host
Where are we going in Austin to get this kind of food?
Drew Nickens
I think I haven't been able to find it yet, but I think you have someone who's Filipino in the production staff that can give us recommendations.
Unknown Host
I'm sure you can find it also in the black market.
Drew Nickens
Yeah, I can get a kidney and get some sisig. Let's go.
Unknown Host
I think that's more the line to find that kind of Filipino food. Like when you said, like, I guess. I guess pho is Vietnamese, huh?
Drew Nickens
Well, like, pig's face. That's what sisig is, my favorite dish of all time. It's pig's face with a little bit of a. I think it's a chicken liver. So you get the.
Unknown Host
You're not being serious.
Drew Nickens
Yes, I'm dead serious. I love sisig. You could do it with pork belly, too, but pork belly is not as good because, like, have you ever had pig's ear?
Unknown Host
No.
Drew Nickens
Pig's ear. Like, I know a lot of, like, Southern cuisine has, like, pigs here. But, like, pig's face is very similar. It's just a lot of cartilage. It's very good.
Unknown Host
You like to chew on it. Is that what you do? Is that I'm being totally.
Drew Nickens
No, you dice it up. You dice it up so it doesn't look like the ear and it doesn't look like the face. It's diced up, and then you just. It's on, like, a sizzling, like, chili's platter, you know?
Unknown Host
Is it crispy?
Drew Nickens
It can be. I like mine a little chewy. I like. I like mine a little chewy with a little bit of rice cake.
Unknown Host
Face and rice.
Drew Nickens
Yeah, Sisig and rice. So cute.
Unknown Host
Have you ever taken a girl on a date to have some? Okay.
Drew Nickens
Because I go. I want them to know I go a little. Yeah. That's so good. It's so good.
Unknown Host
It does look good there on that platter.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
I'd put it in a tortilla.
Drew Nickens
Yeah. Okay. That's a Texan in you.
Unknown Host
Yeah, for sure.
Drew Nickens
Flour or corn?
Unknown Host
Flour. I'm not on a diet. People who get corn are on diets.
Drew Nickens
No. You ever had a fried corn tortilla?
Unknown Host
I know you have, like, a tostada, but.
Drew Nickens
But, like, lightly fried. Not. Not. Not, like, super. Super stiff, but just a little bit of fried.
Unknown Host
I don't know. I don't know that I have.
Drew Nickens
It's good. Just. I do mine in olive oil, and I just flip it a little bit.
Unknown Host
Do you cook?
Drew Nickens
I mean, as good as someone with can, you know?
Unknown Host
Yeah. Have you. Are you a virgin?
Drew Nickens
No. I mean, that's a. That's an appropriate question, but no. I've had sex. Not lately, but, you know, it's. I've been known to put a little emeril on them. Bam.
Unknown Host
A what?
Drew Nickens
Little Emeril. Remember Emeril, the cooking guy? Bam.
Unknown Host
I don't know what that is. Emeril.
Drew Nickens
Emeril the chef.
Unknown Host
I know Salt bae.
Drew Nickens
Oh, okay. We're in a different generation. He was a big guy on the Food Network. Now he sells, like, specialty pants. Pretty cool.
Unknown Host
Like George Foreman.
Drew Nickens
He sells grills.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Drew Nickens
But the. Yeah. Emeril Lagasse. Emeril Lagasse is the man. He's. He's. He's pretty cool. But, no, I. I've never. I've never been told that I'm bad at it, and maybe they don't want to tell me I'm bad at it, but I'm.
Unknown Host
Have you had sex with the same person more than once?
Drew Nickens
Yeah, I had a girl. Okay. So I had a girl right after my head injury. I had a girl that I would meet up with at a park, and we would. We would do coitus in the back of her Ford Focus.
Unknown Host
You would do what?
Drew Nickens
Coitus. We'd have sex in the back of her Ford Focus because we didn't. We didn't have a place to really, like, do it. And so we. We did that for, like, three months, and it was cool.
Unknown Host
She. She wasn't your girlfriend?
Drew Nickens
No. She was boring to talk to, but I just. At that point, I wasn't a very. I realized after that I didn't like who she was as a person, and we were just doing it to do it, and that's what I was like, I need to be with someone that I actually care about. So that's when I kind of shifted my priorities to, okay, let's get someone that I actually like and care about. Want to get to know instead of. Instead of just someone who lets me hit.
Unknown Host
Hit it and quit it.
Drew Nickens
Yeah. Even though she didn't want to quit.
Unknown Host
She was into it.
Drew Nickens
Oh, yeah. She was like, oo ee.
Unknown Host
Where's the craziest place you've ever had sex?
Drew Nickens
In the middle of the park one time.
Unknown Host
She was out in the open.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Wow.
Drew Nickens
She was over a picnic table. Great.
Unknown Host
And what happened to this girl?
Drew Nickens
It was the same one.
Unknown Host
Oh, this was the same.
Drew Nickens
But I had a headband on, so it, like, soaked up the. I look so cool. It's like 2014. We put on. We put on some Leaky Lee, the independent artist, and we were just going at it. It was cool.
Unknown Host
Wow.
Drew Nickens
And then she got mad at me because she's like, can you take me somewhere? Like, I don't got no gas. I'm sorry, baby. And then she got mad at me, and then she's like, it's okay.
Unknown Host
Okay. Where did you grow up?
Drew Nickens
Washington state.
Unknown Host
Okay. And so you said you were 14 when this happened?
Drew Nickens
No, no. 2014.
Unknown Host
2014. Okay. I didn't know. What age were you when you started having sex?
Drew Nickens
14. I had sex in a movie theater bathroom.
Unknown Host
Okay. Was that how you lost your virginity?
Drew Nickens
Yeah. And that was a bigger girl, too, so it hurt. Ooh. Imagine this frame, but, like, £100 less. I was a skinny. I was a twig.
Unknown Host
How tall are you?
Drew Nickens
Six foot four and a half.
Unknown Host
Yeah, that's tall.
Drew Nickens
Yeah. And I was 140 pounds.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Drew Nickens
And let me tell you, dog, it felt like two potato sacks hitting my pelvic region, dog. It hurt. She was. She was 280, and I guess a lady, you know?
Unknown Host
Wow.
Drew Nickens
And never again. I mean, I'm afraid it'll make a phobia out of it.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
Once you hit a big girl and you're not ready for it, what is.
Unknown Host
The most important quality that a girl needs to have for you?
Drew Nickens
I think kindness, because one of the things that I've realized, I like to help people. And I want a girl that knows if I see someone on the side of the road, I'm gonna stop and help them if I can. And I need you to not be annoyed when we're running late to something. And I see that, like, I want someone that's kind, that treats waitstaff well, that, you know, isn't rude to people. To me, that's a really big deal to me, because I. After my accident, I realized that I want to spread joy to people, and I want people to feel like they matter in this world. And that's one of the reasons, after my accident, that I've realized I was. I'm on this earth for. Is to be kind and do the best I can be. Do the best I can to spread joy and happiness in a realistic sense. That, to me, is like a big deal. If you're not a kind person, except to me, then we can't. You got to learn. I'll put you on the bench, and you can learn to be kind to people, and then we can pick it up later.
Unknown Host
Yeah. When did you get into comedy?
Drew Nickens
I got into comedy about seven years ago.
Unknown Host
How? What made you want to do it?
Drew Nickens
So I was watching a TV show. I was watching a TV show called I'm Dying up Here, and I binge watched the first season, and I was like, I need to fight an open mic, and I typed in an open mic, and I found that there was one that night, and I went and I told this terrible story. And I was like, I was pretty awful. I'm glad I didn't record it. But I felt a rush because everyone was like, wow, you were having so much fun. And then that's when I was hooked because I like being on stage and I like seeing smile, Smiling faces. Like, I'm going to do this for the rest of my life now. And I've been four years sober now, and, you know, everything's coming. Coming fast and hard, and I feel like I'm doing great in handling everything and trying to be the best person I can be. So people get inspired to know that you can do anything. Anything is possible. I mean, I got 20% brain capacity, and I can still tell jokes. That's pretty cool.
Unknown Host
Yeah, well, you have to be intelligent to tell jokes.
Drew Nickens
Okay.
Unknown Host
I was on I'm Dying up here.
Drew Nickens
Oh.
Unknown Host
Oh, yeah, I was. I was. At the end of the first season, I was on a game show that they had called the Dating Game.
Drew Nickens
Oh, snap.
Unknown Host
And so I. I played one of the contestants, and then I was the one that, like, went on to the next round.
Drew Nickens
Oh, nice.
Unknown Host
I know.
Drew Nickens
That's so cool.
Unknown Host
I wish I had, like, more of a story to tell you, but.
Drew Nickens
No, that's cool. My first Kill Tony episode, Eric Griffin was one of the panel members.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
And that was, like, a really big deal because he was a big part of the show, and I was. And I remember when I first was going up, I asked a guy at the curtain, I said, who. Who's the guest today? And he said, jim Florentine and Eric Griffin. And Eric Griffin was one of my bucket list guys. And I was like, I really hope I get to meet him. And. And then. Then everything kind of happened, and I was like, yeah, let's go.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
So it was really, really cool. So that's kind of my. My thing when it comes to, like, comedy is something I feel like I can be a contributing member to. Of society, too.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
And, like, bring bring joy because some people are meant to do. Be great mechanics. Some people are meant to, you know, whatever their talent is. And I think, to me, being on stage is one of mine.
Unknown Host
That's awesome.
Drew Nickens
Don't look at the Internet. They don't think so. But, but, but, but I think. I think I'm working as hard as I can to be the best I can.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
The things that come with it. That's cool. Maybe I'll get a girlfriend out of it, too. That'd be awesome. But, you know, it's mostly about being someone that Spreads joy and. And shows that anything's possible.
Unknown Host
That's awesome.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Do you want to hear my story about being on that show?
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am.
Unknown Host
I'll tell you how I got on there. So I auditioned originally to be. I think the title of the role was, like, cleavage Girl Number One. And. And my only thing to do was when one of the actors was on stage, and he tells a joke, and I'm supposed to laugh really loud, which is. Comes very naturally to me anyway. And then he looks at me, and I'm wearing some obnoxiously small top, and he makes a joke about my boobs. And then that was the end of the scene. I auditioned. I got it. And so the day comes. Thank you very much. I know. Took a lot of spirit.
Drew Nickens
A lot of hard work.
Unknown Host
A lot of hard work. So I get. So I get on set. It's like the day of the show. I had done a fitting and a wardrobe thing and whatever. And it was like, 30 minutes until we have rehearsal and we go to shoot. And I get this knock on my door from the executive producer. His name was Michael Aguilar. I love this guy. Comes to my door, and he's like, hey, I've got really bad news. We're gonna cut the scene.
Drew Nickens
Oh, no.
Unknown Host
So we actually don't need you, but don't worry, you'll still get paid for the day. And I was like, but I, like, want to be on this show really, really bad. And I don't really care about the money. It's not about that. Like, it was about being on the show. And he was like, well, we'll have you back. We'll give you another role in the future. And I was like, bullshit. I was like, that's what every producer in Hollywood says, and I don't believe you. I was like, if I leave this set, I'm never coming back. And he's like, I promise you, we will remember you and give you another role. And I was like, well, I'm from Texas, so shake on it. And so I made this guy shake my hand. Months go by. Like, six months, four to six months, never hear back from the show. I'm like, that guy doesn't value a handshake. And so I get this call from. From my agent, like, randomly one day, and they're like, hey, that show. I'm dying up here, wants to have you audition for a guest star role. And I was like, oh, my God, no freaking way. And so this was like, two pages of lines. It was like a whole Scene. It was like. It was an actual part, not about my cleavage. And so I go in and I audition. I get the role that day.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
They're like, you booked it? And then I go back on set, I see the guy Michael Aguilar that rebooked me, and I was, like, almost in tears that someone in Hollywood had held their word. And I was like, oh, my gosh. I can't believe. Excuse me, I'm not even drinking. You're seven up. And I'm like, I can't believe you had me back. And you, like, kept your word and you gave me an even better role. I'm, like, so stoked. Thank you.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
And so then I did that role, and then I pretty much quit acting after that. I got bored, but.
Drew Nickens
Oh, why'd you get bored?
Unknown Host
I moved very, like. Well, I guess I didn't really, like, love Hollywood.
Drew Nickens
Oh, okay.
Unknown Host
I was kind of over it. I think I maybe did one or two more films and that was it. But anyway, that was my story of I'm dying up here. It's not, like, funny or anything like that.
Drew Nickens
That's fine.
Unknown Host
It was about. I think for me, it was more about someone keeping their word in Hollywood, which was really, really rare.
Drew Nickens
Yeah. Kind of like strippers lie all the time. Like when a stripper tells the truth. And I'm like, I'm real sad. You're like, oh, little bit of honesty. I like it.
Unknown Host
I've been known to go to a strip club or two.
Drew Nickens
I went to one on my birthday, like, a couple weeks ago.
Unknown Host
And When's your birthday?
Drew Nickens
January 28th.
Unknown Host
Happy belated birthday.
Drew Nickens
Thank you so much, ma'am. And I was. I was really excited because there was a really big boxing fight that Saturday, so I was going to ask the strippers who they thought was going to win. And so I'm with my boys, and we're hanging out, and I'm like, do you like boxing? As my titties are going in their face, and then their titties are going into my face by. That would have been real awkward. Like that.
Unknown Host
Wow.
Drew Nickens
No, I did. I did have them feed me my Red Bull. That was pretty cool. Like, they held the cup and went like, this is really cool. But. And then I would ask them that, and they would never have an answer. And then my boy goes, just put the titties in your face, Drew. Don't ask them, but it was fun.
Unknown Host
That does sound fun. Did you go to Red Rose or did you go to Pilates?
Drew Nickens
Yellow rose.
Unknown Host
The yellow Rose.
Drew Nickens
Yeah. It's fun.
Unknown Host
I've never been to Yellow Rose.
Drew Nickens
Yellow Rose is fun. They're really nice. The staff's really cool.
Unknown Host
It's better than Red Rose.
Drew Nickens
I've never been to Red Rose. Oh, is it? How is Red Rose? What's the vibe there?
Unknown Host
Just a lot of naked girls walking around.
Drew Nickens
That's great. I like naked women.
Unknown Host
Yeah, I don't. I don't know how else to describe Red Rose.
Drew Nickens
What. What type of music do they play?
Unknown Host
Well, don't the strippers get to pick it out?
Drew Nickens
I don't know. I mean, I've never been.
Unknown Host
You know, I like it when a stripper has a sensual song. But I understand that. That's not the vibe.
Drew Nickens
I almost had the strip. Go play Fruit salad by the Wiggles for my birthday.
Unknown Host
Why didn't you?
Drew Nickens
Because I didn't want to be looked at. Crazy. Because someone's gotta pop their coochie to fruit salad. Yummy. Yummy like that.
Unknown Host
What do you like more, boobs or butt?
Drew Nickens
Booby man. I'm a booby man.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
Even though I'm black, I'm a booby man. I love him.
Unknown Host
Are you really half black?
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Who's black?
Drew Nickens
My dad. He looks like. He looks like Viscera from wrestling. He's a big guy. He's 6 foot 6, 450 pounds and he's black. Yeah.
Unknown Host
I never would have guessed you're. I know, blond hair, blue eyes.
Drew Nickens
But the hair. The hair is kind of gives you, like. I have a joke where I talk about one of my brothers looks like Klay Thompson and the other one looks like Brittney Griner, and I look like Marv from Home Alone. Like, it's not fair. You do? I do. That's another reason I don't think I get play is cause, you know, I don't. I try to humor it and go, I look like Justin Bieber, Right?
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
And then they always laugh, hey, that.
Unknown Host
Guy from Home Alone lives on a farm now, and he's a very happy man.
Drew Nickens
Well, he was also the voice actor for the Wonder Years. Older Kevin.
Unknown Host
Oh, really?
Drew Nickens
Yeah. That's actually him. Daniel Stern. I didn't. I saw the credits and I was like, oh, so older Kevin in the Wonder Years was actually Daniel Stern, which is pretty cool.
Unknown Host
That is pretty cool.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
What's your favorite movie?
Drew Nickens
Favorite movie is Blade Runner 2049.
Unknown Host
Okay. I've never seen Blade Runner.
Drew Nickens
Well, it's the sequel, and it's. So. I like artificial intelligence movies because I think when we make, like, robots that have choice, because you can't have true love without choice. And so when we make things like that, where they have the ability to make a choice to lie and everything of that nature, philosophically, it's really, really interesting. And I dive. I like to dive into it. It's a really, really, really cool, cool movie. It's got great, great directing. Denou Vanuve, or I forget, I can't pronounce the name, but the guy who did Sicario and all that, it was his, like, big sci fi epic. And now he's doing the Dune movies. And so Blade Runner 29 is one of my absolute favorite movies. I saw it in theaters and it was just. I. I shed a tear, and I've only shed a tear to three movies. Harry Potter and Monsters, Inc. That's the saddest movie of all time. Dog.
Unknown Host
No.
Drew Nickens
Oh, yes. Boo's gotta leave. Sully and M. No. I cried. Oh, dog. I cried like I was, like, 12 years old. I cried hard.
Unknown Host
Have you seen Happy Feet?
Drew Nickens
I don't. Is it sad?
Unknown Host
I think so.
Drew Nickens
I don't want to see it.
Unknown Host
Then it's the penguin animation movie.
Drew Nickens
I know, I know. But I don't want to do it because, like, when I see, like, really sad, like, kids movies and I cry, I feel a little crazy.
Unknown Host
Yeah. Afterwards I do, too. I cried during Happy.
Drew Nickens
But you're not crazy. You're just beautiful.
Unknown Host
Oh, yes. Because you don't know me, ma'am.
Drew Nickens
Did you hear the news, though?
Unknown Host
About what?
Drew Nickens
You're so sweet. You put Hershey's out of business.
Unknown Host
No. What a pickup line.
Drew Nickens
I'm a family friendly flirt. I'm a triple F. That's. Yeah, I. I try to. I try to, like, do, like, silly pickup lines like that.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
I have one that I do on stage that's really raunchy. I go, hey, ma'am, can I give you a tpi?
Unknown Host
What is a tpi?
Drew Nickens
A traumatic pussy injury. Because I'm about to go retarded in that thing. Right? Horrible.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
Can't actually do that one.
Unknown Host
Yeah, I'm sure it works.
Drew Nickens
No, it probably doesn't. I never actually used it. I just use it on stage because it's funny and I get to do a little hip gyration.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
Like I'm Elvis. It's great.
Unknown Host
Do you have any fetishes?
Drew Nickens
Yeah, can.
Unknown Host
I know.
Drew Nickens
I don't want it to be awkward.
Unknown Host
I mean, it won't be pregnant women. Stop.
Drew Nickens
I'm not lying. I'm dead serious. That's why I didn't want to mention It. Because your skin's glowing. Skin is glowing? No, acne. Boobs are nice and nice. You guys. I don't know, I feel like you guys are just so. Just like beautiful and. Yeah, yeah, please. But please. This is my body going, oh, God. Yeah.
Unknown Host
I can't even touch my kneecaps.
Drew Nickens
Oh, I was really hoping you had the baby. I texted the guy. I was like, she had the baby, right?
Unknown Host
Is it the swollen feet that really gets you or what?
Drew Nickens
No, no, no.
Unknown Host
It's the belly.
Drew Nickens
It's the skin. It's the belly, it's boobs. When you're truly happy. You're truly happy. When like when you guys, like feel like a kick and you get, like really happy, it gets. It gets me going.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
That's sweet.
Drew Nickens
It's not like raunchy. Like, the fetish isn't like, oh, I want to plow that. It's like, oh, I want to spend time. And, you know, we can add a little bit of like girl made porn. You know how girl made porn is really soft and light, like porn for women.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Drew Nickens
Kind of like that, like very passionate little Kenny G in the background.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
Or some non copyright saxophone music and you just. Yeah, they don't. They don't get the copyright rights to. In those type of horns.
Unknown Host
It's very hard to have sex pregnant, though.
Drew Nickens
Is it?
Unknown Host
Okay, it is. It's. I mean, the position.
Drew Nickens
But when there's a will, there's a way.
Unknown Host
There is.
Drew Nickens
When there's faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains. Not calling you a mountain, but you get my drift.
Unknown Host
I mean, it is like moving a mountain, though. And doggy style just isn't sex. It's not a sexy position.
Drew Nickens
Have you ever done like a pool noodle around the belly so you can do doggy style? Well, like a pool noodle. Yeah, like pool noodle around the belly.
Unknown Host
So it doesn't like in a circle.
Drew Nickens
Yeah.
Unknown Host
No.
Drew Nickens
And you put it. And then you can get in the doggy position.
Unknown Host
Have you had sex with pregnant people?
Drew Nickens
No, but I've thought about it. So one time. I'm an engineer. Like, how could this work properly?
Unknown Host
I would need so many pool noodles, though.
Drew Nickens
No, you wouldn't. I would think probably maybe like maybe a quarter of a foot. Yeah, 0.75ft.
Unknown Host
Nice.
Drew Nickens
I can see that.
Unknown Host
Okay, well, you could probably engineer something for pregnant ladies to have sex in a more comfortable position and make millions.
Drew Nickens
First. I want to have sex with a pregnant woman, so I know it works.
Unknown Host
Yeah, I got a quality Test, of course. Yeah.
Drew Nickens
And then after that, then I can. Then I can be like, all right, let's distribute this out. And then I'll be like, the guy who invented Toaster Strudels. I'm just. I'm rich for life.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Drew Nickens
No one would know. They'd be like, this is. This is the face for an advocate for pregnant women right here. I look like a Lifetime movie villain. I hate it.
Unknown Host
No, you don't. Lifetime movies don't have villains.
Drew Nickens
Oh, they do. They're always that. That really charming guy, and then.
Unknown Host
And then the other guy, and then.
Drew Nickens
The other guy who. Who seems charming, and then he's got it locked up in the basement. There's no basement in Texas, so. Yeah, I don't do that type of stuff, but I look like it.
Unknown Host
Well, it was so fun talking to.
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am. This was fun. I enjoy just having, like, a real conversation.
Unknown Host
And what is the sweetest thing you've ever done for someone?
Drew Nickens
So Valentine's Day, this girl, she was. She just broken up with her boyfriend, like, a month. A month before. So I found out what are all her favorite things were, and she liked dinosaurs, so I got her a stuffed dinosaur. And then I made her a basket of all her favorite things. And I got her dog that she loves a lot, like a toy, and her two cats a toy. And what I did is I drove an hour and five minutes to her house. Back. I dropped it. I didn't even, like, I just dropped it off, rang the doorbell, and left. And then. And she was like, oh, my God, thank you so much. And, like, I like doing that. And then that's one thing I want to do, is, like, if I find someone I really, really like, I want to make them a basket to show I care, that I listen and that I know their favorite things and, you know, bring a little joy. That's. That's what I like to do. That's. That's what I wanted. I don't get a. I don't get to get to that stage very often. I haven't since. But we're working to get there. That's what I really wanted. That's. That's probably the sweetest thing.
Unknown Host
That's really cute. Well, where can people find you?
Drew Nickens
Instagram. The Drew Nickens.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Drew Nickens
Yeah, that's it right now.
Unknown Host
Perfect.
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am.
Unknown Host
That's all people need to know. And then you. Do you ever post about where you're performing?
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am. I try. I try to be better about that. I have a couple things in the works, like, out of state. So I'm excited.
Unknown Host
Cool.
Drew Nickens
Yes, ma'am.
Unknown Host
Thank you so much.
Drew Nickens
Thank you for having me, ma'am.
Unknown Host
Of course. Thank you guys so much for watching. We'll see you next time.
Drew Nickens
First date.
Unknown Host
Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner?
Drew Nickens
First date. I can't wait.
Unknown Host
You told your mom about me?
Drew Nickens
Just say you're ready.
Unknown Host
Delete my number.
Drew Nickens
First date.
Unknown Host
Your parents are your roommates.
Drew Nickens
First day.
Podcast Summary: "Family Friendly Flirt w/ Drew Nickens" | First Date with Lauren Compton
Episode Details:
In this lively episode of First Date with Lauren Compton, comedian and viral content creator Drew Nickens joins host Lauren Compton for a candid conversation about the challenges of modern dating, his journey in comedy, and personal life experiences. The episode seamlessly blends humor with heartfelt discussions, providing listeners with both laughs and meaningful insights.
The episode kicks off with Drew presenting Lauren with thoughtful gifts, including a 7 Up, a Hershey's bar with almonds, and Flaming Hot Tostitos. This gesture sets a warm and engaging tone for their first date simulation.
Notable Quote:
Drew shares his unique approach to meeting potential partners through country dancing, emphasizing the importance of face-to-face interactions without the biases of online profiles.
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The conversation delves into Drew’s past, including his time in the Air Force and the bullying that led to a severe brain injury. Despite these challenges, Drew highlights his resilience and commitment to spreading joy through comedy.
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Drew narrates how his passion for comedy ignited after watching the TV show I'm Dying up Here, leading him to perform at open mics despite initial struggles. His dedication culminated in appearances on Kill Tony, where he continues to build his comedic career.
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Drew opens up about his past relationships, including casual encounters and the evolution of his approach to dating. He reflects on the importance of genuine connections over fleeting interactions.
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Discussing his comedic approach, Drew highlights his penchant for using personal stories and humorous observations to connect with his audience. He also touches on his sobriety and how it has positively influenced his career and personal growth.
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The duo explores various preferences, including favorite movies, music genres, and cuisines. Drew shares his enthusiasm for films like Blade Runner 2049 and his love for diverse music genres, reflecting his eclectic tastes.
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Throughout the episode, Drew and Lauren engage in playful banter, discussing humorous topics like awkward dating scenarios, funny anecdotes from past relationships, and light-hearted flirtations. These moments add a layer of entertainment and showcase their chemistry.
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In wrapping up the episode, Drew reflects on his aspirations to find a meaningful relationship and continue spreading joy through comedy. The conversation underscores the importance of kindness, authenticity, and resilience in both personal and professional realms.
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Listeners interested in following Drew Nickens can find him on Instagram under the handle @TheDrewNickens, where he updates his audience on upcoming performances and projects.
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Final Thoughts: This episode of First Date with Lauren Compton with Drew Nickens is a blend of humor, personal storytelling, and insightful discussions about dating and life. Drew’s openness about his struggles and his dedication to spreading joy through comedy offer listeners both laughter and inspiration. Whether you’re navigating the dating world or simply looking for a good laugh, this episode provides valuable takeaways wrapped in entertaining conversation.