Loud Asian Smackdown w/ Shawn Gardini & Lemaire Lee | First Date with Lauren Compton

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Loud Asian Smackdown" with Shawn Gardini & Lamar Lee | First Date with Lauren Compton

Episode Information:

• Title: Loud Asian Smackdown w/ Shawn Gardini & Lemaire Lee
• Host: Lauren Compton
• Guests: Shawn Gardini & Lamar Lee
• Release Date: March 25, 2025

---

1. Introduction of Guests

In this lively episode of First Date with Lauren Compton, comedian and content creator Lauren welcomes a dynamic duo—Shawn Gardini and Lamar Lee—from YMH Studios. Known for producing "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" and their own show in Austin, Shawn and Lamar bring their comedic flair to the table.

2. Background and Relationship Between Guests

Shawn Gardini and Lamar Lee, both originally from Philadelphia, discuss their bond and journey into comedy. Shawn mentions, “Lamar's my first friend in comedy” (01:28), highlighting their six-year friendship established in Philly during Shawn’s college days. Despite the age difference—Lamar being 45 and Shawn 27—they share a mutual respect and camaraderie.

3. Stand-Up and Podcasting in Austin

Relocating to Austin a year ago, the guests talk about their involvement in the local comedy scene. Shawn shares, “We run a show at the Creek. It’s called Optimum Noctis. Once a month. That's pretty fun” (02:10), revealing their commitment to nurturing the comedy community in Texas. They also touch upon the nuances of performing live and producing podcasts.

4. Navigating the Dating Scene

As the core theme of the episode, Shawn and Lamar delve into their personal dating lives. Both are currently unattached and focus on enjoying life without serious commitments. When asked about recent breakups, Shawn states, “No, it was about a year. It was when I moved here” (02:56), indicating a recent transition phase in his personal life.

5. The Dating Menu: Appetizers, Main Courses, and Desserts

Lauren introduces a novel approach to the dating conversation by presenting a “menu” of questions categorized as appetizers, main courses, and desserts. Shawn expresses initial nervousness: “I'm a little nervous about it, but okay” (07:35), setting the stage for a structured yet humorous exploration of their dating experiences.

Appetizer Questions

Starting with light-hearted queries, such as language skills, Shawn humorously responds, “No. Pig Latin” (07:54), showcasing his playful side. They also share embarrassing childhood stories, with Shawn recounting a mishap in his Italian class: “She said I was scratching my genitals too much in Italian class” (08:44).

Main Course Questions

These delve deeper into personal preferences and red flags in relationships. When discussing pet peeves, Lauren confesses, “I don't like when girls talk too much” (11:10), while Shawn adds, “I like big bundas” (19:22), revealing their candid and often humorous perspectives on dating.

Dessert Questions

Concluding with sweet gestures, Shawn admits, “I drive him around a lot because he doesn't have a car” (44:46), highlighting his thoughtful nature despite his self-professed lack of romantic prowess. Lauren shares a touching story: “I took a picture of [a plushie] from when she was a kid, and I put it in Google and bought the same old one” (43:30), illustrating her effort to connect on a sentimental level.

6. Discussions on Parenthood and Pregnancy

The conversation takes an unexpected turn towards pregnancy and parenthood. Lauren and the guests explore topics like burping, farting, and the physical realities of childbirth. Lamar humorously notes, “If I have a vial of amniotic fluid, I'd give you 20 bucks” (37:13), blending humor with genuine curiosity about the parenting journey.

7. Sweet Gestures and Romantic Acts

Shawn and Lamar reflect on what constitutes sweet gestures in relationships. While Shawn feels he lacks grand romantic gestures, he acknowledges his efforts: “I've set up my ex's apartment for when she got back” (45:23). Lamar emphasizes the importance of genuine gestures over material gifts, stating, “That's exactly what I'm talking about” (45:35).

8. Promoting Their Ventures

Towards the episode's end, Shawn and Lamar share information about their podcasts and shows. Shawn directs listeners to "Panties in the Mouth Podcast" and promotes their monthly show, Optimum Noctis. Lamar adds, “Panties in the Mouth podcast” (46:17), inviting the audience to engage with their creative projects.

9. Closing Remarks and Future Plans

Lauren wraps up the episode with humorous banter about their next interactions, to which Shawn and Lamar respond with light-hearted comments about appearances and future topics. They hint at returning with more prepared content, promising an entertaining second date.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Shawn Gardini: “Lamar's my first friend in comedy” (01:28)
• Shawn Gardini: “No. Pig Latin” (07:54)
• Lauren Compton: “I don’t like when girls talk too much” (11:10)
• Shawn Gardini: “I like big bundas” (19:22)
• Shawn Gardini: “I drive him around a lot because he doesn't have a car” (44:46)
• Lauren Compton: “I took a picture of [a plushie] from when she was a kid, and I put it in Google and bought the same old one” (43:30)

---

Conclusion

"Loud Asian Smackdown" offers a humorous and candid look into the dating lives of Shawn Gardini and Lamar Lee, all under Lauren Compton's engaging hostship. From light-hearted childhood anecdotes to deeper discussions on relationships and parenthood, the episode encapsulates the wild ride of dating with wit and sincerity. Listeners can follow Shawn and Lamar on Instagram and tune into their respective podcasts and shows for more comedic content.

Find Your Hosts:

• Shawn Gardini: seangardini.com | Instagram: @seangardini
• Lamar Lee: Instagram: @lemarelee | Website: lamarrelee.fun

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This summary captures the essence of the "Loud Asian Smackdown" episode, detailing key discussions, insights, and memorable moments to provide a comprehensive overview for those who haven't listened.

Transcript

[Sean Gardini]

This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. It's tax season, and we're all a bit tired of numbers, but here's one you need to $16.5 billion. That's how much the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud last year. Now here's a good number. 100 million. That's how many data points Lifelock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed. Save up to 40% your first [e-mail]. podcast terms apply.

[Lamar Lee]

I'm so excited to see you tonight. First Date, baby. First date. I can't wait. First Date. Hello, and welcome to another episode of First Date. My guests today are a hilarious duo. You've probably seen them producing Matt and Shane's secret podcast. You can also catch them here in Austin producing their own show. Give it up for Sean Gardini and Lamar Lee.

[Host]

Hello. Hello.

[Sean Gardini]

Thanks for having us.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. So it's Yalls first time on my show?

[Host]

Yes. Thank you for having us.

[Lamar Lee]

You guys live here in Austin?

[Host]

Yeah, for about, like, a year now.

[Lamar Lee]

Do you like it?

[Host]

Yeah, it rules here.

[Lamar Lee]

Where do you guys. Where y'all from?

[Sean Gardini]

Philly.

[Lamar Lee]

Both of y'all?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Y'all go way back?

[Host]

Sort of. Yeah, I have a. Yeah, I have birthed Sean.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. Lamar's my first friend in comedy.

[Lamar Lee]

Really?

[Sean Gardini]

And we met, like, maybe six years ago in Philadelphia.

[Host]

I was hanging out with college kids.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, Lamar's 45, but he was hanging out with me when I was like.

[Lamar Lee]

Wow, you don't look 45.

[Host]

Thank you so much.

[Lamar Lee]

That's awesome. How old are you?

[Sean Gardini]

27.

[Lamar Lee]

So he's robbing the cradle of friendship.

[Sean Gardini]

But I get a lot of wisdom from him.

[Host]

Robbing the cradle of friendship.

[Lamar Lee]

You know what I mean? I mean, there's only so many friends you can have in this world. So now you guys live here in Austin and you're producing shows. Are you guys doing stand up at all? Yeah, I don't know. This is my first time meeting y'all.

[Sean Gardini]

We run a show at the Creek. It's called Optimum Noctis. Once a month. That's pretty fun.

[Lamar Lee]

Why does that sound like some. Something out of Transformers?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, that's what they say. It's Latin for the best night.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, okay. Is it the best night?

[Host]

Sometimes, yes. It's the best time. We drink this at the beginning.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Is that just like, bad beer?

[Host]

No. Well, no, but we. We drink piss.

[Lamar Lee]

Gross.

[Host]

I never. I'll never tell the secret.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay. Are you guys currently dating anybody? Are you in relationships?

[Sean Gardini]

So, no, not in anything serious.

[Lamar Lee]

Just having fun.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, just having fun.

[Lamar Lee]

Did you have a breakup recently?

[Sean Gardini]

No, it was about a year. It was when I moved here.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, was she still in Philly? Yeah, I mean, that's always.

[Sean Gardini]

Come on, dude.

[Host]

I'm sorry. Oh, sorry, brother.

[Lamar Lee]

She could have come with you.

[Sean Gardini]

I'd rather not talk about it.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay. You know you're on a dating show, right?

[Sean Gardini]

Let's talk about the mayor.

[Host]

I have a lady, she lives in New Jersey. She is ocd. She doesn't want to come out here.

[Lamar Lee]

Why?

[Host]

Because she'd have to change everything about her life.

[Lamar Lee]

So you. Oh, so you have a long distance relationship?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Ldr.

[Host]

Ldr.

[Lamar Lee]

How long have you guys been together?

[Host]

Like two years, three years. Two years.

[Lamar Lee]

It's a big difference there.

[Host]

I know. It's been. It's been two.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Host]

It's bam.

[Lamar Lee]

So are you dating? And like, at least at all, I'd.

[Sean Gardini]

Rather not talk about. I'm meeting nice people and stuff like that.

[Lamar Lee]

How do you meet people?

[Sean Gardini]

Pretty much just at stand up shows. That's kind of the only thing I do.

[Lamar Lee]

If people come up to you after the show or.

[Sean Gardini]

Sometimes. Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. Are you on dating apps?

[Sean Gardini]

No, no, no. They sort of freak me out.

[Host]

Dating apps stink.

[Sean Gardini]

I feel like there's no way to not be corny on dating apps, right?

[Lamar Lee]

I don't know. I guess it depends on which one you're on.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I don't think we're famous enough to get on the famous guy one.

[Host]

Aren't they all annoying, though? They all are annoying, yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

I don't know.

[Lamar Lee]

You're not missing anything by not being on Raya, though.

[Sean Gardini]

I know, but I don't like the other ones either.

[Lamar Lee]

I. Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Is Raya cool? Do you use it well?

[Lamar Lee]

Have you used it in the past? I was on it, but. But I never met anyone that was worth a shit.

[Sean Gardini]

Did you ever match with someone really cool and famous?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Host]

What was your coolest first?

[Sean Gardini]

Can you say who it was?

[Host]

What was your coolest first name?

[Lamar Lee]

I think I've even talked about it on this podcast. The most famous person that I met on Raya, that I had like a seven month relationship with Barack Obama, man. Big Mike would not like that. I like Big Mike. Big Mike. Although I hear he's dating Jennifer Aniston now, sort of secretly.

[Host]

That's pretty cool.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, I feel like no one is mad about that.

[Host]

Why not?

[Sean Gardini]

Dude?

[Host]

That's pretty cool.

[Sean Gardini]

Like, all right, as long as you're not gay.

[Lamar Lee]

I dated an actor from Game of Thrones off of Peter Dinklage? No, but that would have been so much cooler.

[Sean Gardini]

Really? I heard he's got a little bit of a sassy attitude.

[Lamar Lee]

He's also married.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh.

[Lamar Lee]

And has kids.

[Host]

Yeah. Are they afflicted?

[Sean Gardini]

Damn. If he has big ass kids, can you imagine how bad that would suck? Like being a midget and having normal sized kids.

[Lamar Lee]

I mean, but would that suck?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, because then they send you to your room and they tell you to take out the garbage. You can't discipline them.

[Lamar Lee]

I don't know. Peter Dinklage is pretty intimidating for a little dude.

[Sean Gardini]

And when I was a kid, I was really scared of midgets.

[Lamar Lee]

I still am, if any.

[Sean Gardini]

Little offense.

[Lamar Lee]

Can we call them little dudes?

[Host]

I think dudes.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

If a little dude, like, mad at me, like, I'd. I'd be like, true.

[Sean Gardini]

You think they're like. You know, it's been said before, but they do seem like they have a little bit something like a trick up their sleeve or something.

[Lamar Lee]

Like leprechauns.

[Sean Gardini]

Cursor. Yeah. I don't know. Something.

[Lamar Lee]

I don't know. I have very sensitive shins and I don't want to get kicked. It's like, you know what I mean? Like, my legs are already weak enough. I don't need someone like, using my thighs as punching bags.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

They are not everlasting quality.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

What? The microphone?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

What is it?

[Host]

I thought I knocked off the mic at the. It's okay.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Well, I have this menu here of.

[Sean Gardini]

Questions out of us.

[Host]

I'm sorry, I can't help it.

[Lamar Lee]

I guess we don't have that. Hold on a second.

[Host]

A menu of questions.

[Lamar Lee]

This is a menu of questions that I have for you guys, and they're all about dating.

[Host]

Why is it a menu?

[Lamar Lee]

Well, we thought that it would be fun on a show called First Date to have.

[Sean Gardini]

It's fun. Yeah, that is fun.

[Lamar Lee]

Like a menu of, like, appetizer questions. So the concept is that we have these appetizer questions that are like, supposed to warm you up for the main course questions.

[Sean Gardini]

Okay.

[Lamar Lee]

Which are a little bit more intense. And then once I get you in a very uncomfortable situation for me to get out of it, I ask you a dessert question which usually ends on something sweet.

[Sean Gardini]

Okay, I like that.

[Lamar Lee]

See? Can we do all this, though?

[Sean Gardini]

No, I got a sweet toof.

[Lamar Lee]

No, you have to answer some of the hard questions.

[Sean Gardini]

Okay. I'm a little nervous about it, but okay.

[Host]

You got it, brother.

[Sean Gardini]

I'll answer them.

[Lamar Lee]

I'll ask. So this is why? We have the menu. So the appetizer ones are easy. Here's. We'll start with some easy ones. Do you speak any other foreign languages?

[Host]

C.

[Sean Gardini]

No. Pig Latin.

[Host]

That was always funny.

[Sean Gardini]

I speak pig Latin.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Sean Gardini]

Do you remember that when you were a kid, you would speak pig Latin?

[Lamar Lee]

I had a friend that, like, tried to. Yeah, that's just weird.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. I don't really like it either, but it reminded me of it.

[Lamar Lee]

That's what you got?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. I don't speak any other languages. I wish I took Italian in middle school, but I didn't really remember any of it.

[Lamar Lee]

Not helpful.

[Sean Gardini]

I know. I did get in trouble, though, in Italian class. Did I ever tell you that story?

[Host]

How'd you get in trouble in Italian class?

[Sean Gardini]

I guess it's sort of embarrassing. I don't know if my teacher at the time took me outside of the classroom and told me I was. This is sort of embarrassing, actually. So you gotta laugh really hard. If no one else laughs, you gotta laugh.

[Host]

I got your back, brother.

[Sean Gardini]

This is true, though, because she said I was scratching my genitals too much in Italian class. So she took me outside and told me I needed to do it in private.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, my God. She didn't even tell you to stop. She just said, go do it somewhere else.

[Sean Gardini]

You have to be more discreet about it.

[Host]

Yeah. She's looking at your weenie, dude.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, that was pretty scarring.

[Lamar Lee]

Wow.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. Embarrassing.

[Lamar Lee]

Were you wearing shorts in her class?

[Sean Gardini]

Probably. Yeah, I. I've dressed like this since I was about five years old.

[Lamar Lee]

What are we wearing for shoes?

[Sean Gardini]

My slippies.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay. At least they're slippies and not flip flops.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I don't. I. I would. I would rock the thong flip flops for a while, but I give those up. These are way more comfy anyways.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, I don't like a guy in flip flops.

[Sean Gardini]

I used to think it was cool. I used to think I was just, you know, chilling. Like I was grounding myself with my lack of socks and shoe. But these are the same thing.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay. How would you. How would you describe yourself to a girl?

[Sean Gardini]

I don't know. You go first.

[Host]

Fat black nerd.

[Lamar Lee]

A fat black nerd.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Sean Gardini]

That's kind of spot on, actually. Did you ever watch True Detective? He goes, I'm just a regular ass dude with a big ass dick.

[Lamar Lee]

No, but that's a great line.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna use.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Sean Gardini]

Shout out to Woody Harrelson.

[Lamar Lee]

All right. What do you think? Is your lemaire your biggest Red flag that you have about yourself.

[Host]

Me?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Host]

I just don't care. I can't be nonchalant. Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

So sometimes you're saying that's like a double edged sword.

[Host]

Yeah, No, I actually don't know. I don't like to be introspective, so I don't like, think any of my. I'm not a bad guy.

[Lamar Lee]

You're a good guy. I'm a good guy who doesn't give a shit. You know, sometimes a big fat black nerd.

[Sean Gardini]

There that doesn't give a.

[Host]

From your mouth to God's ears. That's awesome.

[Lamar Lee]

I'm just saying. I'm just repeating what you said.

[Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's spot on.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Sean Gardini]

You really don't give a.

[Lamar Lee]

What's your biggest pet peeve in a relationship?

[Host]

I don't like when girls talk too much.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I don't like that either.

[Lamar Lee]

I must be so annoying. Oh, my God. Can we just have a beer and can this shut up?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

You're not a girl. You're a podcast.

[Host]

You're a podcaster.

[Sean Gardini]

It's different.

[Host]

Podcast.

[Lamar Lee]

Y'all both come in so hot. You're like, I don't want to talk about my dating life. I'm not introspective. And we hate it when we hear a girl talk too long.

[Sean Gardini]

I didn't realize that. I'm sorry.

[Lamar Lee]

I'm like, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm sorry. We're not trying to be jerks.

[Lamar Lee]

So what do you guys think about the football game?

[Sean Gardini]

Eagles are in the Super Bowl. Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Super bowl is coming up. What do we think about that?

[Sean Gardini]

Shout out to the Eagles. The Eagles are going to win the Super Bowl. And that's a Gardini guarantee.

[Lamar Lee]

The Chiefs. Chiefs.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, the Chiefs. That's a Gardeni guarantee.

[Host]

Swifties.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, my God. You guys are actually laughing.

[Host]

I don't.

[Sean Gardini]

You're just repeating conversations we have with each other.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, man. I should have worn a fake mustache and a hat. I can't blend it in. God, why didn't I do that?

[Host]

If we had some brews, we'd open up a little bit.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. Hey, we've got vodka back there. I'm not drinking it. You guys can have as much as you want. Oh, I don't know.

[Host]

Just kidding.

[Lamar Lee]

I'm tired of being fat.

[Host]

Oh, stop.

[Sean Gardini]

La Mer's pregnant too.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, you get it.

[Sean Gardini]

Have you announced if you're having a boy or a girl?

[Lamar Lee]

I'm having a boy.

[Sean Gardini]

La Mer's having a burrito that's so cool.

[Lamar Lee]

I thought for the longest time it looked like I just ate Chipotle.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Host]

Have you had this Cabo Bob's yet?

[Sean Gardini]

He's ditching Chipotle for Cabo Bob's now.

[Lamar Lee]

What's Cabo Bob's?

[Host]

It's just Chipotle, but better to eat. Did you know you can have flavored tortillas?

[Lamar Lee]

Well, actually, Free Birds actually has flavored tortillas, too. Freebirds.

[Sean Gardini]

What's that Leonard Skynyrd song?

[Lamar Lee]

It's like. It's like a shittier version of Chipotle.

[Host]

Okay, now couple. Bob's is top tier.

[Lamar Lee]

Where is Cabo Bob's?

[Host]

All over Austin, Texas.

[Lamar Lee]

You're kidding me. Have you guys heard of Cabo Bob's?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, yeah, we get it here a lot. Do you like it more than Chipotle?

[Host]

100%.

[Lamar Lee]

What?

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, way better.

[Lamar Lee]

Wow. I finally learned something new about food on this part. Just when I thought that I, like, knew it all about food. Cobble Bob's. I actually had Chipotle today. For lunch.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I had it yesterday.

[Lamar Lee]

I actually really like it a lot.

[Sean Gardini]

Me too.

[Host]

Used to be better, so. Freaking recipe. I got a flag.

[Sean Gardini]

They did change the recipe.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Host]

I don't like when a girl doesn't do anything.

[Lamar Lee]

You know, like she's lazy or doesn't have a job.

[Host]

Like, that's, like.

[Sean Gardini]

That's a little unfair.

[Host]

Not even lazy or doesn't have a job. Like, I mean, like, they just don't do anything because there's some girls who don't do nothing.

[Sean Gardini]

Dude, you don't do nothing.

[Host]

But that's because I've earned it. Hard work.

[Sean Gardini]

I've heard how to ever direct nothing either?

[Host]

Yeah, but, I mean, we're doing stuff, but I just don't like a girl that doesn't do nothing. I don't know.

[Sean Gardini]

Well, that. I see what you mean.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

You don't like it when they're. When you're trying to do stuff and they're trying to join you. Yeah, like that.

[Host]

And then when they join you, they just ruin the time.

[Sean Gardini]

Their own thing.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

I've always liked a guy that has a lot going on. Because I feel like I can be a cheerleader for that, and I. Is that kind of what you mean? Like, it's. It's cool when. When someone has, like, an actual.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Life.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

And then you can be a part of that.

[Host]

Yeah. But not even, like, just show up when they need me to show. I'm like, good job. That was sick. How could you? That's so amazing.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, but when you can't insert your opinion about what someone else is doing, that's what you mean. It's like it's hard to relate to someone if you don't have any way to put some input in.

[Sean Gardini]

Like, yeah, that makes sense.

[Lamar Lee]

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[Sean Gardini]

Of myself or for somebody else?

[Lamar Lee]

We'll start with yourself, if you have one.

[Sean Gardini]

I could think of more than somebody else. I don't really do any, you know, I'm kind of like a hermit. Like, I don't like leaving my house. I don't like doing activities. I just do stand up and go home, sleep.

[Lamar Lee]

Would you consider yourself a nice guy?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I would. I hope so. At least. Would you consider me a nice guy?

[Host]

This is mean, Deanie.

[Sean Gardini]

I can be gardeman every once in a while, but I've been trying to be Zen dini more lately.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Sean Gardini]

Which is?

[Host]

You're pretty Zendini today.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm being Zandini today. But once I like to drink whiskey. And when I drink whiskey, I become the guardian.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Host]

He turns into a little leprechaun.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I turn.

[Host]

Yeah, he turns into a Dinklage.

[Sean Gardini]

But only if people cross me. I'm only doing justified attacks Sometimes. I'm staying on my righteous path. And if anybody tries to take me off of that, I will retaliate.

[Lamar Lee]

Do you have any pet peeves in a relationship?

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, I don't know. Yeah, but it's hard to come up with one off the top of my head. I, I, I like my own space. I like to be alone at times. Like Patrice said, the best thing ever. He said, men want to be alone, but we don't want to be by ourselves.

[Lamar Lee]

That's true.

[Sean Gardini]

All the time. I want, like, someone around in your space. A lot of times I want to.

[Lamar Lee]

Be left the alone.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

I like to sit in the beach.

[Sean Gardini]

And smoke cigarettes and play darts. That's what I like to do.

[Lamar Lee]

Play darts?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I play a lot of darts. I love playing darts.

[Lamar Lee]

Wow. That's cool.

[Sean Gardini]

Thanks.

[Lamar Lee]

I, I don't think I have ever actually played a real game of darts.

[Sean Gardini]

Well, there's different games you could play. The one I play, I think is the most fun. But it's like a bar game. It's not what? Like the real dart players play.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh.

[Sean Gardini]

But my dad taught me how to play it, and I've been playing it forever. It's my favorite baseball.

[Lamar Lee]

What's your type? Do you have a type?

[Sean Gardini]

No, no. What do you think? I like big bundas.

[Lamar Lee]

What's a boonda? Oh, okay.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Big butts.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. But besides that.

[Lamar Lee]

I mean, you know, blonde or brunette.

[Sean Gardini]

Either. Really. I don't have a preference when it comes to that kind of stuff.

[Lamar Lee]

So you prefer a nice round rump over a nice rack?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. For the most part.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Sean Gardini]

But you know.

[Lamar Lee]

Why not both?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, why not both is nice, dude.

[Host]

Why not both?

[Sean Gardini]

Like the little Mexican lady with the hard shell and the soft shell.

[Host]

Mm.

[Sean Gardini]

Why not both?

[Host]

The gordita.

[Sean Gardini]

But I do prefer a bunda to a bosom.

[Host]

Yeah, that's right, the bunda to the bus.

[Sean Gardini]

That's just personal thing. Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Do you have any turn offs in bed?

[Sean Gardini]

No, not really. No. I don't like it when they're too loud. That's kind of weird.

[Lamar Lee]

Like, you know, Asian loud. I hate throwing it out there, but like, we've all seen the Asian porn situation and Asians can scream. Like, I think of Yoko Ono when I think of, like, right now we're.

[Host]

Finally talking about something I know about.

[Sean Gardini]

Asian porn is the mayor's fault. Asian porn loves Asian culture.

[Lamar Lee]

Like, to me they're partition.

[Host]

I wish.

[Lamar Lee]

Wouldn't you consider them the loudest in bed?

[Host]

Yeah, well, sometimes. I've seen some videos where girls go, oh, that's pretty tough.

[Sean Gardini]

That's weird. I wonder. Yeah, I guess Asians are loud. Just the yelling. I'm not buying it. Most of the time.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. It's got to be real. Have you ever dated an Asian girl?

[Sean Gardini]

No. I've. I've hooked up with Asian ladies though, before, but I've never dated one.

[Lamar Lee]

Were they loud?

[Sean Gardini]

I can't remember. I don't think they were particularly loud. No. So that kind of.

[Lamar Lee]

So maybe it's just in porn. Maybe that's just what they think.

[Sean Gardini]

They're just hamming it up.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, they think that that's what the guy wants.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Weird.

[Sean Gardini]

Very weird.

[Lamar Lee]

How long. How long do you go before you feel comfortable? Comfortable burping or farting in front of someone?

[Host]

Never.

[Lamar Lee]

You never burp or fart?

[Host]

I'll burp, I'll burp.

[Sean Gardini]

Fart in front of me all the time.

[Host]

Yeah, you're the bro. Yeah. I can't fart in front of ladies. That feels so rude. Well, at the laser tag, I had to let it go.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, we did just play laser tag and Lemare was using bioweapons.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, my goodness. But that's not like. That's not. I mean, like, when you're with a girl, though. Yeah, like let one rip.

[Sean Gardini]

I. I'm pretty quick to do it, but a lot of times, I'll excuse my. A burp. I'll let one rip no matter what. Which. I was talking about this recently. I think burps could be grosser than farts. When you hear like a weird, like guttural Burp. And you could, like, hear their, like, stomach acid, like, going, that really disgusts me more than a fart most of the time. But that's a little side note.

[Host]

When I do consider. I've never thought of it that way.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm thinking about it a lot and the smell is almost worse a lot of times. Yeah, that weird. Like you can tell what they had for lunch.

[Host]

Yeah. Vulture's breath.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. Nasty. Nasty.

[Lamar Lee]

Gross. I'm thinking about it.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

No, it's true, though.

[Sean Gardini]

It is, I think. But I'll excuse myself if I have to fart. I'll. But I won't go that far. I'll just, like, stand outside the door and stare at her and fart really loud while I look at her. Then I'll go back inside. But I don't want to give her the smell. But I will give her the sound.

[Lamar Lee]

We're gonna get into some main course questions now. How important do you think it is to have the opinion of a friend when you're dating someone?

[Sean Gardini]

Most relationships, I rely pretty heavily on opinions of friends.

[Lamar Lee]

What is the longest relationship you've ever been in?

[Sean Gardini]

Maybe two, three years.

[Lamar Lee]

Again, that's such a big difference.

[Sean Gardini]

It was weird because the last relationship I was in, we were casual for a while and then we dated for a while after that, so it's hard to. To say.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay. Like, started. Okay, that makes sense.

[Host]

Yeah, that's what I meant.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, okay.

[Host]

That's what I meant.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay. Yeah, got it.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Because if you're with someone exclusively and you're like, oh, it's been like two or three years. I mean, that's like.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. No, I think we were exclusive for maybe two years, but it's hard to remember when it started.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Because we were.

[Host]

He pleads the fifth.

[Sean Gardini]

Okay, thank you, Council.

[Lamar Lee]

Have you ever gone back to an ex?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Why?

[Sean Gardini]

I think all of my ex girlfriends have. Well, not like dating, though. But I've. I've slept with most of them after we've broken up just because it's easy.

[Lamar Lee]

Or what.

[Sean Gardini]

Now you just miss them, you know?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

You go, I give. You know, I'm all sad. I gotta sleep with them and I won't be sad anymore.

[Lamar Lee]

Ew. I've never missed anyone enough to go back.

[Sean Gardini]

That's because you're a girl.

[Lamar Lee]

But, I mean, they missed you enough to go back.

[Sean Gardini]

True. Maybe I just am a cool guy, I guess. I don't know.

[Host]

Yeah, I don't think I try hard enough. Well, one of them's dead, so I'll never see her again. Yeah. And then there's one I yelled at because she wasn't treating me right. And then there was another one. I was like, you're gonna be so mad when you see me everywhere.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

What a line. I'm the best thing you ever had.

[Sean Gardini]

That's kind of crazy. Yeah, but I respect it.

[Host]

Yeah. I don't know. They didn't treat me right or believe in me enough.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, I hear you.

[Sean Gardini]

I love all of my ex girlfriends. They're all pretty nice. Besides a couple. The mayor doesn't like him, but I like them.

[Lamar Lee]

Do you guys want kids?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

I was thinking about that the other day. I almost cried thinking about it.

[Lamar Lee]

Really?

[Host]

Why?

[Sean Gardini]

I might cry again if I start talking about it. I don't know if I should talk about it.

[Host]

It's okay.

[Sean Gardini]

I was just thinking about having a son one day and then him becoming so much better than me, and it almost brought a tear to my eye. And I'm starting to well up right now just thinking about it.

[Lamar Lee]

That's pretty cool. And do you want kids?

[Host]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

We need to get your LDR to Austin.

[Host]

Yeah. I had a predicament the other year. The first time we had to take care of a predicament and I was depressed about it.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, double homicide.

[Host]

Double homicide. Damn.

[Lamar Lee]

Yikes.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Well, you guys still have time. I feel like guys are a little bit lucky.

[Host]

I'm 45, Lauren.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm cooked.

[Lamar Lee]

I mean, Robert De Niro just had a kid. I think he's one.

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, or something. Didn't. Didn't he. Do you guys know about this? Yeah, Robert De Niro just had like a one year old and he's like.

[Sean Gardini]

Anymore.

[Lamar Lee]

But I'm just saying, I mean, yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Mick Jagger was pumping him out for a while too, till like he was like 70, I think.

[Lamar Lee]

Robert De Niro is a dad of seven kids to him. That guy's pull out game is weak. He's got.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, does he have black kids?

[Host]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

He had a black wife?

[Host]

Yeah, I think so.

[Sean Gardini]

Nice.

[Host]

Wait, is he one of the guys that can't talk anymore?

[Sean Gardini]

What?

[Host]

You know, one of the actors. They can't talk anymore now it's Bruce Willis.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, yeah. Bruce Willis had like a stroke or something.

[Host]

No, he has just a degenerative disease.

[Lamar Lee]

Bruce Willis?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

I didn't know that.

[Host]

Yeah, it's very sad.

[Sean Gardini]

Bobby De Niro made that vaccine movie. Remember that?

[Host]

Oh, dementia.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, man. Die Hard.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, I was talking to you. You know, I don't know if this is good for YouTube. He made this, like, documentary so long ago saying that vaccines cause autism, and he put it in the Tribeca Film Festival. But I think he pulled it at the last second.

[Lamar Lee]

Why?

[Sean Gardini]

I think he got a little bit.

[Lamar Lee]

Of a backlash from Big Pharma.

[Sean Gardini]

Better fucking.

[Lamar Lee]

They were like, listen, do you guys.

[Host]

Remember in, like, 2000, later, 2000s, Jenny McCartney was, like, going around, she was like, yeah, vaccines. And everybody was like, shut up, you dumb. You stupid. Go be a whore. And now, like, we're like, oh, wow, she's right. Jenny McCarthy was right.

[Sean Gardini]

Jenny McCarthy.

[Host]

Jim Carrey. Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Who's Jenny McCarthy?

[Lamar Lee]

What?

[Host]

That's crazy.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm not tapped into the.

[Lamar Lee]

Jenny McCarthy's hot as shit. She's married to Donnie Wahlberg. She was a playmate. I think she was a playmate of the year. She's now one of the judges on the Masked Singer.

[Host]

Really?

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, yeah, Jenny McCarthy.

[Host]

She's back.

[Lamar Lee]

She's a smoke show. Yeah, I follow her on Instagram. She's hot.

[Host]

I think everybody forgot about the anti vaxxer thing.

[Lamar Lee]

Well, when you're hot, people don't hold on to grudges for long. I mean, look at her. She's. She looks hot and smart, and you're just in whatever. And if you disagree with her, you just say, oh, she's a dumb blonde.

[Host]

That's our whole game now.

[Lamar Lee]

I mean, she does it well.

[Host]

Is that your game too?

[Lamar Lee]

I mean, if it has to be, I'm not above it.

[Sean Gardini]

Don't be rude.

[Host]

I'm not being rude.

[Lamar Lee]

No. If I say something and someone doesn't like it, I'm like, oh, I'm dumb.

[Sean Gardini]

That's actually a nice scapegoat.

[Host]

I do it too.

[Lamar Lee]

It's like, yeah, you're just like, oh, I'm black.

[Host]

Sorry, officer. I'm just black. I can't help.

[Lamar Lee]

You know, it's like such a. You can use it if it's true. Yeah, I use a dumb blonde all the time. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm just dumb. I'm ignorant.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm sorry I'm late. I'm just bl.

[Host]

Can't help it.

[Sean Gardini]

Sorry I'm blonde.

[Lamar Lee]

To be honest, it's like. It's like an ace in your pocket.

[Host]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

I wish. I.

[Host]

It's my black heart, you know?

[Lamar Lee]

What are you gonna say?

[Sean Gardini]

Nothing. I'm just gonna have to take responsibility for my actions.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, I'm blonde, He's black, and you're fuck. Well, let's say that you meet your soulmate who is a 10 out of 10 smoke show. Like a Jenny McCarthy type of lady. What can she do to it up?

[Sean Gardini]

Get vaccinated.

[Lamar Lee]

She would never.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, Jenny would never, I don't know.

[Lamar Lee]

Not clean up, like bad hygiene.

[Host]

Not like, not clean the house.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, he's talking about trad values.

[Lamar Lee]

House cleaning is easy though. Yeah, you can just hire someone to come over and do it.

[Host]

Yeah, but like you still, you still shouldn't like leave shit, you know? Yeah, like if there's cleaners, there's your, there's. I mean there still shouldn't be like counter beers, you know, like, or counter drinks. They should be in the trash can. No, not after me. Just like after yourself.

[Sean Gardini]

But is she the one leaving counter beers?

[Host]

Yeah, this is a burly bitch. Dude, the man does call his girlfriend Big Al.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, that's the man's girlfriend's name.

[Host]

We're both big. Alright.

[Lamar Lee]

Do you think that like traditional women are still like prized possessions? Like women who cook and clean, like, do you value those qualities in a woman?

[Sean Gardini]

In a way, yeah.

[Host]

I like cleaning. It doesn't matter about cooking, you know?

[Lamar Lee]

Do you cook?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

So if she doesn't cook, you'll cook? Yeah, as long as she cleans up.

[Host]

I could clean up after myself.

[Lamar Lee]

You sound like a catch.

[Host]

Oh, come on, you do.

[Lamar Lee]

A lot of guys don't cook or clean.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, no, yeah, I'm happy to help. Doing that stuff.

[Host]

Yeah, ain't nothing wrong unless I'm busy. Yeah. If I gotta run.

[Lamar Lee]

What are you busy doing?

[Sean Gardini]

Just important podcast stuff and stand up comedy stuff.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Sean Gardini]

No, it's really not that important.

[Host]

But I gotta go. Right. Can you wash the dishes for me?

[Sean Gardini]

Ocd. When it comes to cleaning though, my house is pretty, pretty weird. People come over and they, they, they say I decorate it and keep it. Like a gay guy would keep his house cuz it's so clean and I have paintings on the walls and stuff. I mean, it's sort of offensive.

[Host]

Lauren, I have a question for you.

[Sean Gardini]

Ask.

[Host]

All right, so like if there was a big event like on TV and your friends are like, hey, can we watch it at your house? And then you had to go Dorian gate, would you let them stay and watch it?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, but what he's trying to do is he's trying to watch the Royal Rumble at my house tomorrow and I think I have to do stand up. So he just wants me to let him into my house so he could have all of our friends over and.

[Host]

Watch Royal Rumble a Couple guys.

[Sean Gardini]

But all of our friends have houses you could just go to.

[Host]

One of my houses are perfectly quaffed.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, well, there you go again.

[Lamar Lee]

So you have the nice house.

[Sean Gardini]

I have a decent house.

[Host]

It's clean.

[Sean Gardini]

I'm very anal.

[Lamar Lee]

Well, what if you just set a rule? They can come over and watch it, but they have to leave it. Like they enter it.

[Sean Gardini]

They won't follow the rule. And then they'll call me gay when I get mad about them not following the rule.

[Host]

We will call you gay. But we are men of class. We'll clean up and call you gay.

[Sean Gardini]

I don't know.

[Lamar Lee]

You're gonna be gay if you don't let them do it anyway.

[Host]

Facts.

[Lamar Lee]

That's true.

[Host]

Facts.

[Lamar Lee]

You know, what did we say before? You're still just.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, it does seem like I'm. If only I were black.

[Lamar Lee]

Or blonde.

[Sean Gardini]

Or blonde. I'll probably. I'll probably just watch it with you guys. Tbh. Tbqh. Yeah.

[Host]

Hell yeah. Tb.

[Lamar Lee]

Triple H, cancel your stand up show.

[Sean Gardini]

I might have to. We went to wrestling last weekend. It was the funnest night of my entire life. Of our entire life.

[Host]

It was so fun. Smackdown.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, on Netflix.

[Host]

No, the Raw.

[Lamar Lee]

Netflix. Raw.

[Sean Gardini]

The WWE Smackdown.

[Host]

It was on usa.

[Sean Gardini]

It's just like the one that's not on Netflix.

[Lamar Lee]

I didn't know that Smackdown was still going.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, yeah.

[Host]

It never stops.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, man, it was so awesome. I've already said this before on the podcast, but I'm a big fan of, like, wwe.

[Sean Gardini]

Really?

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

We were just watching it in the lobby.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, I saw when I went out there, I was like, trying to stay focused on Fiona. I was like, oh, my God, he just did a smackdown.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, we got on the Suck it Cam. Do you know what the Suck it Cam is?

[Lamar Lee]

No.

[Host]

You gotta.

[Lamar Lee]

You gotta hit the X. Oh, I didn't know. I don't know about that. That's the second cam. So if you get on the cam, you do that.

[Sean Gardini]

We got on the Jumbotron. It was so sick.

[Host]

And if you're not down with that, we got two words for you.

[Lamar Lee]

Suck It.

[Host]

Yep. See?

[Lamar Lee]

Let me see. Do you guys pee outside?

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, yeah.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Almost exclusively.

[Host]

Yeah. Peeing outside is a power move. It's nice. Does it, like, ruin the grass, though?

[Lamar Lee]

I know it does if a dog does it.

[Sean Gardini]

Not if you're hydrated, I don't think. I think if you're hydrated.

[Host]

Oh, yeah. My piss will poison my guard.

[Sean Gardini]

Mine too. Mine's brown today.

[Lamar Lee]

Ew.

[Sean Gardini]

I didn't Drink enough water.

[Lamar Lee]

You need to drink more water.

[Sean Gardini]

That's why I have the sparkling. Even though, is sparkling just as good as regular water in terms of hydration?

[Lamar Lee]

I think so. I hope so. I drank it primarily throughout my whole pregnancy. And now he gets the hiccups all the time.

[Sean Gardini]

Your baby?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Can you feel it?

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, yeah. Can we feel it if he gets the hiccups? I'll let you feel it. He gets the hiccups, like, six times a day, but so his body's over here.

[Sean Gardini]

I could kind of tell.

[Lamar Lee]

And when he gets the hiccups, you can actually see, like, a little bump out where he goes.

[Host]

That's crazy.

[Sean Gardini]

It's kind of gross.

[Lamar Lee]

Is it?

[Sean Gardini]

No, I'm just kidding. I just thought that would be funny to say. That's right.

[Lamar Lee]

All you do scenery, though, very soon. Yeah, in like, a week or two.

[Host]

Yeah, that would be great. Content.

[Sean Gardini]

Come on.

[Lamar Lee]

I know.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, that would be so scary if your water broke right now. I would freak out.

[Lamar Lee]

You know how many times, like, people.

[Sean Gardini]

Guys come in? I don't know what to do.

[Lamar Lee]

It's a weird thing, though, because, like, there was a comedy show that I was supposed to do called Punchline, and it was. It's like, February 5th, and I was like, oh, I don't know. That's awfully. We're getting awfully close to, like, this red zone area. And she's like, but what if your water breaks on stage? And I'm like.

[Sean Gardini]

We could get a sick clip if you're water breaking. That's insane.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. And then my. I have a personal trainer. And she's. And she's like, what do you want to do, scheduling wise? I'm like, I want to take a serious break now. Like, I've trained for 36 weeks now. I'm like, I think I'm. I think I'm good. And she's like, but what if, like, your water breaks in the gym? And then we can say that it, like, broken. Everyone wants my water to break around them. It's very selfish. Very weird thing.

[Host]

I mean, it's your baby, but let me have the moment. It.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. And if my water breaks on the show, I'm gonna ruin this chair.

[Host]

Now, you can sell that chair, make.

[Sean Gardini]

A lot of money on that chair.

[Lamar Lee]

If I just bottle up my amniotic fluid. Some people, like, bottle their farts. Some people bottle their tears. I'm just over here, like, bath water, man. Bath water. Yeah, Seriously. I've heard about that, too. I never even thought about that. How much money do you guys think I can make off of a whole amniotic sack? I'd give you 20 bucks if I had a vial. How much would. How much should I charge if I had a vial of amniotic fluid?

[Sean Gardini]

I do, like a hundred per vial. It's very. A bunch of vials.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

I don't know how much fluid.

[Lamar Lee]

You think that's fair? 100 bucks. That's a deal.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. Maybe more. I don't know how this. I've never been pregnant.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, that could be wild, though. I never even thought about that. The. You can sell these days.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah. Kind of nasty, though. And then what if they, like, clone your baby or something?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, like, they use, like, some, like, DNA or something like that. That be really weird, man. That is such.

[Sean Gardini]

Bro.

[Lamar Lee]

If I was broke, dude, I'd be like, I'd be bottling that up.

[Sean Gardini]

That's crazy.

[Lamar Lee]

It's so weird, but I would.

[Sean Gardini]

What do you think about people, like, eating the placenta? Don't they do that?

[Lamar Lee]

I'm going to encapsulate mine.

[Sean Gardini]

What's that mean?

[Lamar Lee]

My doula is going to take it and dehydrate it and then put it through a grinder and then, like, kind of how you do mushrooms. Put them in little tabs.

[Sean Gardini]

Is it, like, good for you?

[Lamar Lee]

Super good for you.

[Sean Gardini]

That actually sounds way less gross than what I expected. I expect you to be like a wolf.

[Lamar Lee]

It varies country to country. Some people will cook it like a steak.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, brother.

[Lamar Lee]

Some people will put it in a blender and drink it like a shake with, like, fruits and milk and stuff like that. I think. I think what I can do or the. I can pop the pills.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, that sounds good. And then it. What? I guess it's just super healthy or whatever.

[Lamar Lee]

It's. It is supposed to help with postpartum depression. Oh, so you're putting. You're putting. Because your placenta is what's managing all of your hormones. So when you lose your placenta, you know how, like, girls can go flying off the wall? Bananas.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

So apparently, I mean, they don't need.

[Sean Gardini]

The percentage to do that.

[Lamar Lee]

But when you lose it, if you intake it, it helps regulate.

[Sean Gardini]

That's nuts, dude.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Ladies is crazy.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. But a placenta is also really expensive. Like, if. If I didn't want my placenta, I could easily. Could easily sell it for, like, $5,000.

[Sean Gardini]

But, like, to it like a licensed dealer or like, on the dark web.

[Lamar Lee]

Like, I could probably sell it for more. On the dark web.

[Sean Gardini]

Okay, so, like, people are in the Market for placentas. Like pharmaceutical companies or whatever.

[Lamar Lee]

I'm sure they are. I don't know, because that I haven't really researched. But I do know that you can sell your placenta, like, even to a hospital. Some hospitals.

[Sean Gardini]

Damn.

[Lamar Lee]

Don't ask me which ones. I don't know.

[Sean Gardini]

No, no.

[Lamar Lee]

But there. But there is virgin cares. There's something like that. There's who. Who value the nutrients of a placenta. It's crazy.

[Sean Gardini]

That is crazy. Maybe I'll start taking some placenta.

[Lamar Lee]

I don't know. I wonder what it would do.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, maybe it would help.

[Lamar Lee]

They can make tinctures. They can make solves.

[Sean Gardini]

Like edibles, gummies.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. I mean, all this weird coming out of a placenta. Have you ever seen a placenta?

[Host]

Is it, like, flat?

[Sean Gardini]

I always just pictured it as, like a little red.

[Lamar Lee]

It's not.

[Host]

It's a big sack.

[Lamar Lee]

It's about this big. It's as big as a dinner plate. And it looks. It's a whole organ. Looks just like that belly.

[Sean Gardini]

Right? Oh, my God.

[Lamar Lee]

So see that one? That looks like a steak with a cord.

[Host]

Yummy. No.

[Lamar Lee]

So that is what. So there's this thing right in the front of my stomach, and that's what it is. So after you give birth, you have a cord that's still stuck up in you and stuck in the baby. And then you have to give birth to the placenta. So there's two births, but the placenta doesn't hurt like the baby does. So then that thing comes out. And then when they cut the umbilical.

[Sean Gardini]

Cord off, that thing looks gross as hell.

[Lamar Lee]

And it's about this big.

[Sean Gardini]

That's insane. It's like a big flapjack. Yes, like a bloody flapjack.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Host]

It's crazy that you said that thing just, like, comes out. It's like. Yeah, you're primed by a baby.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, it's like the baby's parachute kind of.

[Lamar Lee]

Kind of. Yeah. It's crazy. And it's. It's huge. And then it, like, it's. It unsticks from your stomach. So it's like unsticks and then you have a wound. So when you take maternity leave and you're gone or whatever, and women, like, need time off, it's because they have a wound that's about this big because the placenta came off of their stomach.

[Host]

Do I. Do we have placenta?

[Lamar Lee]

Isn't that crazy? No. I didn't even have a placenta till I got pregnant. I grew it. So you grow a baby, you grow this Other organ called a placenta, and then you birth them both. Isn't that wild?

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

It's so crazy.

[Sean Gardini]

Maybe I don't want to have kids.

[Lamar Lee]

Well, yes. You're not having the kid.

[Sean Gardini]

You never know that. What did you do?

[Host]

I'm trying to tuck you in.

[Sean Gardini]

Why'd you give me your.

[Lamar Lee]

You don't have to go through it. Women go.

[Sean Gardini]

I know, but I don't want to put someone through this. That's nuts.

[Host]

That's why you got to be nice to them for nine months.

[Sean Gardini]

They do kind of want you to do that, though.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Sean Gardini]

Babies.

[Lamar Lee]

Anyway, that's my little educational fact. Any other questions about pregnancy? They're like, no.

[Sean Gardini]

Let's talk about dating.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, now all of a sudden you're interested? Now we want to talk about the fun, introspective dating lives. Wow, you guys, I've learned so much. So talk like a man. Talk about sports, and then if I want you guys to give me any kind of dating information. Just talk about pregnancy.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, that's right.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay, cool. I've learned the next time you guys come back for a second date, I'm going to be so ready for y'all.

[Sean Gardini]

We can watch this or we can talk about your red flag.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, I'll even bring the baby. And I'll be like, every time you don't answer a question.

[Sean Gardini]

That would be sick, though. I love. I love.

[Lamar Lee]

All right.

[Host]

Babies are nice.

[Lamar Lee]

Well, I guess for my last question, this is our dessert question. And so I'll ask you both, can.

[Host]

We have a main course?

[Lamar Lee]

You have. You actually have been answering main course questions.

[Sean Gardini]

You didn't even know.

[Host]

Well, you're so good, dude, telling you this.

[Lamar Lee]

See, this menu flies right by.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, it was fun.

[Lamar Lee]

So what is the sweetest thing you've ever done for a girl?

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, brother.

[Lamar Lee]

If you don't know, you can answer.

[Sean Gardini]

Can you go first? Because I don't know, off the top.

[Host]

Of my head, I don't know.

[Sean Gardini]

I've gotten nice gifts and stuff, but that's kind of generic, right?

[Lamar Lee]

I mean, it's whatever you consider to be, like, romantic or out of the box. Usually there's something that kind of sticks out in your mind.

[Host]

Big A hoe had this. She had a plushie she used to like, but it's like she had it forever, so it's just shreds. So I took a picture of it from when she was a kid, and I put it in Google and bought the same old one.

[Lamar Lee]

That is sweet.

[Sean Gardini]

That is really sweet.

[Lamar Lee]

Did she Appreciate that.

[Host]

Yeah. But turns out she had a bunch of them already. I know.

[Sean Gardini]

That sucks.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sean Gardini]

Maybe I'm just an. I don't know if I've ever done anything like that. I'm sure I have, but I can't.

[Lamar Lee]

Do you consider yourself very romantic?

[Sean Gardini]

No, not really.

[Host]

Didn't you give a necklace?

[Sean Gardini]

I'll give necklaces and things like that. Yeah.

[Host]

Nice.

[Sean Gardini]

That's just because. Yeah. I don't know. I'm bad at giving gifts. I feel bad about that.

[Lamar Lee]

Do you go out of your way at all to make someone feel special?

[Sean Gardini]

At times, yeah. But I sort of. Now that I think about it, I sort of just give people things.

[Lamar Lee]

Well, what's the sweetest thing you've ever done for Lemaire?

[Sean Gardini]

Probably done some sweet stuff for you in the past.

[Host]

Ride home, Chipotle.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah, I drive him around a lot because he doesn't have a car.

[Lamar Lee]

That's sweet. You're gonna let him use your house?

[Sean Gardini]

Well, we'll see about that.

[Lamar Lee]

With his friends to watch some TV show that you want.

[Host]

They're his friends, too, so.

[Lamar Lee]

So.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, man, I'm feeling a bad guy.

[Lamar Lee]

I don't know if I've ever done.

[Sean Gardini]

Anything sweet for anybody.

[Lamar Lee]

This is. That would be. That would be the sweetest thing probably you could do for someone.

[Sean Gardini]

Let them use my house.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. To enjoy it while you're not there. Him and all of your friends.

[Host]

That would be so nice.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, man, I feel bad. I've definitely done sweet things, but I just can't recall.

[Host]

Don't feel bad.

[Sean Gardini]

I've gotten.

[Host]

Haven't you done stuff?

[Sean Gardini]

I remember. I've done stuff for my parents. I remember my last girlfriend. I, like, got her a bunch of stuff when she was away. And I went into her apartment. I, like, set it up for when she got back.

[Lamar Lee]

That's sweet.

[Sean Gardini]

That's pretty nice.

[Lamar Lee]

That is really nice.

[Sean Gardini]

And I, like, hid gifts around, had her find them.

[Lamar Lee]

I mean, that's pretty. Exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's great. Like a scavenger hunt.

[Sean Gardini]

But at the end of the. Yeah, but at the end of the day, I'm just. I just give people things and be like, this is just proof that I like you. Which is kind of a weird thing, but I never thought about it like that until now.

[Lamar Lee]

Well, I'm glad you're thinking about it now. We can always go back to talking about pregnancy if it makes you feel comfortable. No.

[Host]

Okay.

[Lamar Lee]

Well, where can people find you guys?

[Sean Gardini]

Sean Gardini on instagram. Sean gardini.com for tickets. Matt and Shane's secret podcast, Panties in the Mouth Podcast.

[Lamar Lee]

Panties in the Mouth podcast.

[Sean Gardini]

I don't really support that kind of language, but I'm just trying to help out my friend. Optimum Noctis at the creek in the cave. The first Tuesday of Every month, Austin, Texas. I'm on the road. Tickets to shangardini.com.

[Host]

Lamare Lee L E M A R E L e on all the socials and stuff. And then lamarre Lee fun for my website and shows. Panties in the Mouth Noctis and I have a show called Feud. It's a game show at the creek every third Tuesday.

[Sean Gardini]

Hell yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

What did you say about shoes shows?

[Host]

Oh, I was like, so many shows. Baltimore Cincy.

[Sean Gardini]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

I thought you had a website called so many Shoes.

[Host]

Oh, no.

[Lamar Lee]

I was like, wow. Why have we not talked about this website?

[Sean Gardini]

Is Lamar lead fun though? Which I like.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, fun.

[Host]

Yeah, it was cheaper. And you know what? It was pretty nice. I like it. I got dot com too, but I like that fun.

[Sean Gardini]

That fun is better.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, I like that too. Well, thank you guys for taking.

[Sean Gardini]

Thank you so much. Sorry if we were weird. I appreciate you.

[Lamar Lee]

You're. I mean, nice to meet you. Yeah. Next time I'm gonna. Like I said, when y'all come back, I'm gonna be so prepared. And I'm gonna come in with a fake mustache and a hat. We're gonna talk about football. We're gonna grow the down and we're gonna have beers and I mean, if I would have known that I would have dressed like Bert no shirt. I would have had. I have a one piece swimsuit that has like, it looks like a naked man with belly hair. And I would have done it had I known that we were gonna bro down.

[Sean Gardini]

Well, next time.

[Lamar Lee]

Next time.

[Sean Gardini]

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

[Lamar Lee]

All right, you guys, thank you so much for watching. Next time you can watch me play Bert. See you later.

[Sean Gardini]

Shalom.

[Lamar Lee]

First date. Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner? First date. I can't wait. You told your mom about me? Just say you're ready. Delete my number.

[Host]

First date.

[Lamar Lee]

Your parents are your roommate.

[Host]

First date.