Love in Recovery w/ Brandon Novak | First Date with Lauren Compton

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Love in Recovery w/ Brandon Novak" | First Date with Lauren Compton

Introduction

In this compelling episode of First Date with Lauren Compton, hosted by YMH Studios, Lauren sits down with Brandon Novak, a motivational speaker, skateboarder, author, and former Jackass personality. Brandon shares his tumultuous journey through addiction and recovery, offering deep insights into his life, struggles, and the path he has forged to help others facing similar battles.

Early Life and Struggles with Addiction

Brandon begins by recounting his early life marked by severe addiction and a tumultuous relationship with his father.

• Traumatic Childhood: Brandon describes his father as a "gnarly Hells Angels biker" addicted to crack, whose overdose profoundly impacted his upbringing. ([10:13])

• Survival Mechanism Relationships: He explains how his relationships were primarily survival mechanisms during his addiction, stating, “another woman like me, we'd go to hell in a hand basket.” ([12:56])

Path to Recovery

Brandon delves into his journey toward sobriety, highlighting the pivotal moments and the work he invested in reclaiming his life.

• Turning Point: A critical moment was his stay at treatment center number 13 in May 2015, where he realized the depth of his disconnection from reality. “[...] I was still waiting for like the grown-ups to show up and take care of everything.” ([21:28])

• Foundation Building: He shares how washing dishes at a diner for $6 an hour became the foundation for his stability and recovery. “[...] that job was creating like the foundation and stability that the rest of my life will be built on, including my recovery.” ([28:43])

Tattoos and Personal Expression

Brandon discusses his extensive tattoos, revealing a complex relationship with body art shaped by his past.

• Tattoo Regret and Acceptance: While he claims, “My worst ones are my best ones,” he acknowledges the significance tattoos hold in his life. ([02:05])

• Under the Influence: A candid moment reveals that the majority of his tattoos were acquired under the influence of drugs, illustrating the chaotic period of his life. “[...] the majority of them.” ([06:33])

Relationships and Personal Life

Brandon opens up about his challenges with relationships and his approach to dating post-recovery.

• Single and Content: At 46, Brandon lives alone with three cats and prefers solitude, emphasizing his focus on self-improvement over romantic engagements. “[...] I love to be able to [...] just don't have to run that by anyone.” ([08:00])

• No Celebrity Crush: He mentions having no celebrity crush because he is deeply consumed with his own world. “[...] I really live in my own world.” ([10:58])

• Desire for Control: Brandon values his independence highly, stating, “I love my selfishness. I love to be able to [...] go to fucking Spain to skate or, you know, Florida to hang out or whatever.” ([11:13])

Motivational Speaking and Helping Others

Transitioning from his personal struggles, Brandon highlights his role as a motivational speaker and his dedication to aiding others in recovery.

• Unexpected Talent: He discovered his aptitude for motivational speaking almost accidentally, as people began requesting him to speak at events. “[...] People just started asking me to speak at more events.” ([24:10])

• Redemption Addiction Treatment Center: Brandon founded the Redemption Addiction Treatment Center, expanding from a single sober living house to seven houses providing 75 beds for men and women. “[...] Redemption was created.” ([44:00])

Legacy and Family

A heartfelt segment focuses on Brandon’s relationship with his mother, showcasing the profound influence she has had on his life and recovery.

• Mother’s Unwavering Support: Brandon praises his mother’s resilience and unwavering support during his darkest times. “[...] She endured the brunt of my addiction. She was my one.” ([36:57])

• Grand Gesture for Mother's Birthday: He details an elaborate surprise party planned for his 83-year-old mother, highlighting his love and appreciation. “[...] I'm throwing her this really big surprise birthday party.” ([37:31])

Current Life and Future Aspirations

Brandon reflects on his current life, emphasizing his achievements and future goals.

• Passion-Driven Life: His dedication to helping others and his businesses keeps him fulfilled and driven. “[...] my crazy, which is just being devoted 247 to helping those who are where I was, is now kind of created this brilliant narrative.” ([44:00])

• Continued Growth: Brandon expresses a desire to expand his treatment facilities and continue making a positive impact. “[...] my mission is to never let price be a deterrent as to why someone can't find a better way of living.” ([44:00])

Notable Quotes

• “I just am so passionate about what I do. [...] crazy is crazy until it finds its narrative, and then it becomes brilliant.” ([25:38])

• “I've tapped into all these weird, like, approaches to kind of discover or rediscover who I am.” ([16:00])

• “I've devoted my life to helping people who, too, maybe let a gay man shave their asshole for drugs because they're in a situation they don't want to be in.” ([20:32])

Conclusion

Brandon Novak’s episode on First Date with Lauren Compton is a raw and honest portrayal of a man who has transformed his life from the depths of addiction to becoming a beacon of hope for others. His story underscores the importance of self-love, resilience, and the profound impact of supportive relationships. Through his work with Redemption Addiction Treatment Center and his motivational speaking, Brandon continues to inspire and guide countless individuals toward recovery and a fulfilling life.

Final Thoughts

This episode offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into Brandon Novak’s life, blending humor with profound insights. It serves as a testament to the human spirit's capacity for change and the enduring power of redemption.

Transcript

[A]

You ever have the holidays just sneak up on you? It's the best. Because right now Instacart is lowering order minimums to just $10 for Instacart plus members. Members get to enjoy $0 delivery fees on all the last minute little stuff like more butter bath towels and even gifts. With $0 delivery fees on orders of only $10 or more. A holiday sos is now a holiday. No stress os now for members only through the end of the year. So head to Instacart now. Offer valve with an Instacart plus membership until 1231, 2024. Service fees, exclusions and terms apply. I'm so excited to see you tonight. First Date, baby.

[B]

First date.

[A]

I can't wait.

[B]

First date.

[A]

Hello and welcome to another episode of First Date. My guest today is a motivational speaker. He's a skateboarder, he's an author. You may know him from Jackass. But he's currently striving to help millions of people who struggle with addiction and recovery. Give it up for Brandon Novak.

[B]

Hey, thanks so much for having me. Yeah, I'm looking forward to this.

[A]

Thank you for coming on my show.

[B]

I know we intended to do this before and I had to back out, like, last second, so I apologize for that.

[A]

It's okay. Most people have second thoughts about me.

[B]

I would never. I would never. Well, I just didn't know enough about you to, like, fucking call it off yet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we'll see how this goes.

[A]

That's fair.

[B]

The night is young, but you have.

[A]

A lot of tattoos. I dig that.

[B]

I do. I have them. I hate getting them. I can't stop.

[A]

I don't believe you.

[B]

I really. You know, some people do it. Like, a lot of chicks, I find it like, oh, I don't mind it. I find it very, like, relaxing and therapeutic. I fucking hate every second of it.

[A]

Why do you get them?

[B]

Well, because I like the after effects. I like the look of. But now, yeah, now I got put on with this, like, numbing cream that I use and that I will not get tattooed without it. Now, really, people are like, oh, you're a fucking pussy. I'm like, yeah, you're right. I am. I absolutely am. I'm a fan of working smarter, not harder these days.

[A]

Yeah. Do you have any that you regret?

[B]

No. My worst ones are my best ones.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I could show you a couple, but you'd really probably look at me really differently.

[A]

That's okay. Show me one.

[B]

So, okay to set the premise of this for it to maybe make sense to you? And maybe is a stretch, is I. We have been sniffing coke for, like, five or six days straight. Right. So, like, no sleep at all. It's 5:00am in the morning, and me and my buddy Bam are shooting a game of pool. He wins the game of pool because I. No, I'm sorry. I win the game of pool. Right. I win the game of pool. We then go into a room, lay on a bed. He puts a pillow over my head, pulls a laptop out, jerks off and comes onto my arm, which is this right here. And we have a tattoo artist there with us who's also partying. So he then traces the come around my. You know, where it lands and then goes over and puts the cum in me. So essentially, I've been Cayman by a man, and I've never even been fucked by a man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's. It's all so wrong that it's just fucking. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I feel like that's going to make Jason Ellis very jealous.

[B]

Yeah. He's as my guy. Him and I are fun.

[A]

Does he know about that tattoo?

[B]

No, I don't think I'm going to.

[A]

DM this part to him and be like, I can't believe with all your tattoos, you haven't done this.

[B]

Yeah, he would, I'm sure, if the opportunity presented itself.

[A]

Yeah, that legend actually presented itself.

[B]

Yeah. But. Yeah, so.

[A]

Yeah, that's cool. Are you. Do you have them on your chest and your. Are you, like, your legs and everything?

[B]

Are you like. My legs aren't, like, covered. There's sporadic spots. My chest. I'm actually, you know, after I got sober, I kind of started to, like. I don't know, I got tired of looking at, like, weird little patchwork all over my body, so I'm kind of cleaning this all up and making it a uniformed kind of deal. So I'm in the process of. Of having my chest finished.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's almost there.

[A]

Do you like girls who have a lot of tattoos?

[B]

I don't. I don't find that attractive.

[A]

No.

[B]

At all. Which most people would say or think that I do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Quite the contrary.

[A]

You like a girl who's just kind of like, virgin skin.

[B]

Yeah. I think it's because it's. It's, you know, it's really abnormal to see someone without a tattoo these days. It's such, like, the. The, like the prerequisite to fucking, you know, a specific culture.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now it's like, to see someone without. I'm like, wow, that's like fucking Admirable.

[A]

I got one tattoo, but I always forget that I have it because it's on my butt.

[B]

Really? What is it?

[A]

A kiss print.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

I know. It's just like a little kiss on the butt cheek.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I got it so that I can.

[B]

Have my ex's lips here.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

One of my exes there.

[A]

Mine's just red.

[B]

I didn't. I'm not really a colored guy.

[A]

Yeah. But this is my only one. You know, it has. And I wanted it to look really real. Like, I wanted it to look like someone kissed me on the cheek.

[B]

So I'm thinking of. I was out with this woman last night and she told me about a tattoo that she got and she like, does writing for stand up comics.

[A]

Fun.

[B]

And. And she only as well had one tattoo on her back. It was like a tramp stamp and it was of a coat hanger. And I was like, well, what's the reasoning behind that? And she's like, I don't know. I think I was just drunk and got it. And she's like, but I've since had it removed because there's like that old saying of what women used to do with coat hangers, which was perform abortions. She's like, yeah. So it didn't really go over so well.

[A]

Ye.

[B]

So when you talked about that, although it's not hers, was on her ass. I have a tattoo on my ass too.

[A]

What's your tattoo?

[B]

It says nidiot N I D I O T, but the I's are dotted in hearts and it's another cocaine story.

[A]

So what percentage of tattoos did you get while under the influence?

[B]

Oh, fuck. The majority of them.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

I have this one on my leg that it says, I talked about this before, but it says I went to. I could show it to you if.

[A]

You like, keep your pants on because.

[B]

I don't wear underwear. But I would, like, cover it up.

[A]

But I've seen enough of Ari Shafir to last me a lifetime.

[B]

I went to Lincoln, Nebraska, and all I got. I went to Lincoln, Nebraska, and all I got was fucked up the ass. Or I forget what it says. It's here and I don't look at it that often. I don't know. Yeah, it's. It doesn't make sense. Now I have to see it and I forgot it and I'm tongue tied and I'm kind of a bit on a lot of meds because I. I like started coming down with something last night.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah, like, you're just like a head a Head deal. And I had come too far to cancel, so we're just in it together. All right. Deal with it.

[A]

Stay the over there. I won't be hugging you goodbye. We're gonna start off with some appetizer questions. So are you. You went out with a girl last night, so I'm assuming that you're single.

[B]

I'm. What I am is a 46 year old grown man who lives with three cats.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I don't know what that says about where I'm at in life or stature, but yes, I am single. I believe I was a cat in my past life, to be honest with you.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

I have a lot of the same attributes or characteristics, like a leopard cat or a house. I wish I could do that. Right. No, just like a street little alley cat kitten.

[A]

That was a stray cat.

[B]

Yeah. Out of like a good night of partying. Yeah, that's because. So I like to. I like to know what's going on with things, but without being in the mix.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I like to pick and choose who I give my attention to. I like to leave when I want to leave. When I'm not traveling. I eat the same thing every day and I keep odd hours.

[A]

How do you meet girls?

[B]

Generally through. I'm on that Raya app.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

And that.

[A]

I was on that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I know a lot of people that have been on that app, but it's.

[B]

Like a gift and a curse. I've been really blessed with this beautiful life and I'm kind of my own boss to an extent, and I create my own schedule. And at 46, kind of really being dialed into my routine and a specific way of life that I don't like having fucking not go the way I like it to go. It's tough to have someone come in and. And disrupt my routine. You know what I mean?

[A]

So are you looking. Are you looking for a girlfriend?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. So you're. You're kind of just having fun. You meet people, you go out and then how long does that usually last?

[B]

It's not even like I'm like looking for fun. Like, to be quite honest, if I am far past the point of just trying to. Right. Like it'd be easier for me to just jerk off. It saves time, it's less consuming, and it just works better. The app's rad because you meet people and, you know, off of a physical connection. But if I don't sit down at a table and a conversation doesn't get me off, then I get really bored. Really Quick.

[A]

Do you ever leave?

[B]

I have.

[A]

Are you honest about it? Are you just like, this isn't working out or.

[B]

I'm not that much of a man, because two things that I am fucking terrible with in my life is confrontation and people pleasing. And with those two together, I just dig myself in a really deep hole.

[A]

When you say you're not good with people pleasing like you, you don't care to please other people or you overcompensate and you try to be a people pleaser.

[B]

Well. And it all stems from a pretty traumatic childhood with my father. He was like a gnarly Hells Angels biker kind of guy who also was addicted to crack and. And died of an overdose. But so we endured a lot of traumatic as kids coming up, and he was a pretty rough guy. So from that grew into me kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you want to do it? Yeah, like, I'll do that. Yeah, let's do it. Let's go. And then, although I don't want to, and then I just say yes to people, please. And then I just don't because I don't want the confrontation.

[A]

So I just kind of split. Yeah.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Do you. Oh, man, I just had a really good. Do you have a celebrity crush?

[B]

No, no, I don't.

[A]

I really don't.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

That's so weird to me.

[B]

I'm sure. I probably. I just. I. I really live in my own world and I'm so consumed with my life and. Which is probably another reason why I'm single. It's because, like, selfishly, I love my selfishness. I love to be able to. Today, if I want to leave here and get on a flight and go to fucking Spain to skate or, you know, Florida to hang out or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, I can do that and don't have to run that by anyone.

[A]

Was there a time in your life where you felt like, kind of trapped by a relationship?

[B]

No. But ironically enough, what happened for me was throughout the majority of my life, the guy who I disliked the most, which was my father. Right. He was. This is a gnarly guy. And taught me, like, one thing in life and that was if and when I went to prison, how to conduct myself.

[A]

That was what he taught you?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. He was really disconnected from reality. Well, he was disconnected from this reality. You know, he lived in his own world, too. So the point that I'm getting at is, like, the man that I really despise the most, I became the most liked. Right. Meaning that my Father, everyone loved him except his family. And. And prior to me getting sober, I always had a woman in my life. And it wasn't because I'm like this egotistical, like, I have a chick. I have a chick. It was what I didn't know then that I see clear as day now. It was really more of a survival mechanism because I had the wherewithal and the common sense that like, okay, I'm this fucking insane strung out drug addict that can't get sober to save his life. I could get things, but I couldn't keep things. So I knew that like to get. I couldn't even deal with myself. So another woman like me, we'd go to hell in a hand basket. So I would get really well put together. Women with no tattoos, you know, successful lives to kind of keep things afloat, right?

[A]

Like a balance.

[B]

A balance more so like a roof over my head and a fucking car to drive. And you know, like, because I could get money, I couldn't keep money, I could get a house, I couldn't keep a home. So they would keep things afloat and managed, if you will. And I at that time was in love with these women, but I had no idea what was really going on with me. And what it was doing is it was allowing me to avoid having to look at me, which was why I got high essentially, right? So I could focus all my attention and time onto someone else. And it worked for a long time until my walls kind of crashed in and, and I was blessed with finding sobriety and, and now coming up on like almost 10 years, I've done a lot of work on myself, a lot of internal work, and I've had like this whole spiritual experience and, and I around, I started to like, like myself a little bit and then I started to like really like myself and then like love myself. And now it's like. And again, coming up on 10 years I've been sober, I've been on like three or four relationships. So I, ironically enough, when you would think that I would be most eligible to be with women because I'm in the best shape ever, like physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, like aces across the board. I'm not with any. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, backwards.

[A]

Well, it sounds like the first time you're kind of like into yourself, like you're doing it all by yourself without having an umbrella.

[B]

Totally. Like I'm self sufficient, right? Like I don't need someone to carry my hand or like to co sign my shit to fucking Enable it.

[A]

Yeah. It's a good feeling, dude.

[B]

It's fucking liberating. I feel like that would be the word a woman would use if I were a woman. I feel like I was fucking liberated. You brought out that in me because I don't think I've ever used that word with such passion or conviction.

[A]

Well, that's great. I'm glad. Like, I feel like Dr. Drew. This is my little Dr. Drew moment. Well, that's cool.

[B]

So I'm sure that there are, like, there's plenty of women that I follow, find attractive, but I just get so consumed in my own that, like, I don't really.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I live in my own world, and people are like, you live in your own world? And I'm like, yeah, that's right. And I think everyone should.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Like, why the shouldn't I live in my own world? And obviously in my world, I'm kind, I'm compassionate, I'm loving to all my brothers and sisters, but nonetheless, it makes me happy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm probably like, not a great guest for this because I don't really have a celebrity crush. I'm just kind of like, that's okay.

[A]

We can get to know you. And. And I think that you having your personal time and, like, not wanting to date as seriously because you feel like that could take away from what you're. You're accomplishing for yourself is also interesting. Like, that's. That's actually very different. So I think it's. I think it's interesting.

[B]

I've tapped into all these weird, like, approaches to kind of discover or rediscover who I am, what drives me, and to end up in these different outcomes that I'm not used to. Like, I've also given up jerking off. Like, I don't watch porn unless it's with a woman. And it wasn't even really, like, a reason for it. I just wanted, like, the actual physical act of having sex to be something more than just like, oh, I have ten minutes to kill. Let me go fucking jerk off real quick.

[A]

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[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The conversation is really important.

[B]

Well, I don't do well with small talk.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I actually was out with the woman not too long ago and she said to me, she said, oh yeah, I live. She said, with my housemate. And I'm like, oh, you have a housemate? And I'm like, what's that about? And she's like, oh, it's like this 60 year old gay guy. And I'm like, oh, I used to live with this gay guy too, but it was probably under like different circumstances. And she's like, what do you mean? And I'm like, well, I used to allow this gay guy to shave my asshole and that's how I would pay my rent to live at his house. And I'd imagine you probably don't let him shave your asshole. And, and that. I'm just, you know, again, I. Yeah. Mm.

[A]

You're like, okay.

[B]

Yeah. And then I proceeded to finish the story with. And I lived with him for a long time doing that. And then the straw that broke the camel's back was one day I was really sick and withdrawing off heroin and I stole his CD Walkman and I went and pawned it and that was, that was where I took it too far.

[A]

He could. That was too much for him.

[B]

And the thing was, is I dude, I love like humans and the way that we're wired and because realistically we're the same, right? Like ten fingers, ten toes, Woman, man. Eyes, nose, ears, mouth. But. But what? The way you're wired. And what might get you off might completely fucking disgust me and vice versa. Now this. This homosexual man, God bless him, a great guy. He got off on shaving my asshole, but he didn't even, like, jerk off while he was doing it. He just did it. I could give a fuck less about shaving anyone's asshole. It would do nothing for me. Isn't that fascinating?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Think about that. No, I do, I do. But I've also done a lot of things that a lot of people would think are fucking not right to do.

[A]

Like what?

[B]

Well, I think by getting a tattoo.

[A]

Of cum on your arm is something that's probably there.

[B]

Yeah. And I don't want to act as if I'm glorifying all these behaviors because this is like. And hopefully people can today see the juxtaposition from who I was then as opposed to who I am now, which, despite all this nonsense I've been spouting, I've devoted my life to helping people who, too, maybe let a gay man shave their asshole for drugs because they're in a situation they don't want to be in or whatever common thing. Well, it's. It could be. It was common for me. Right. So, like, it just depends.

[A]

I just would love to see you have a conversation with someone else who was like, oh, my God, no way. Me too.

[B]

You could find that at a fucking. Go to a treatment, check yourself into a rehab. And, you know, I mean, like, yeah, depends on the audience.

[A]

I'd be so scared to go to a treatment center. I. I think you have to be brave. Like, well, you know what?

[B]

That's funny you said that, because, like, I do a lot of interviews and. And they always say, like, what's the craziest thing you've done? What's the scariest thing that you've done? And they expect me to say something from like, viva la Bam or Jackass or skateboarding. And the truth of the matter is, the scariest thing I've ever done to date was walk into my last treatment center, number 13.

[A]

I would be really scared. Yeah, I'd be scared to see what was there and how people were ill and doing. And, like, listening to your stories is cool. You make it fun, you know, but, like, there's a lot of people who don't have any humor or can't find a way out, and it's very dark, for sure.

[B]

Well, at the point in time that I walked into that last facility, May of 2015, I was, like, really disconnected from reality and. And it had been A long time since I found optimism or any reason to smile or laugh about anything in life. So if kind of did it in my presence, I took it personal and I wasn't happy about it. But again, I've done a lot of work to get to where I'm at now to, God willing, be a light at the end of that very dark, drab tunnel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where people are that don't really know if there's a way out or take it personal because you're happy to let them know that they, too, can get to where I'm at.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's. So it's. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You, too. Cannot have to let a man shave your asshole anymore for heroin or rent if you want.

[A]

Well, it's good. You know, you have to. You, I think, is in a sense of relatability. You have to have at least been there in some capacity to be able for even a drug addict to even listen to your advice.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

You know, for sure. I don't have any, like, really great drug stories. Like, I. If I were to try to go help someone, like, not do drugs, I feel like I would get punched in the face.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that could potentially happen.

[A]

You know, I have a punchable face already, so it's good that you know that. Yeah, I do.

[B]

Awareness is worth its way.

[A]

And once I start talking, it's done.

[B]

Game over.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Just show them your lips on your ass.

[A]

Yeah. And they're like this.

[B]

We'll give her a pass.

[A]

Yeah. So I admire that you can go talk to them and do that because, dang, I couldn't. We're gonna get into some main course questions now. Do you have. So besides skateboarding, do you have any other hidden talents?

[B]

Hidden talents? Well, it turns out that I'm a really good motivational speaker, which is nothing I ever, like, intended on doing or wanting to be.

[A]

How did you find that you were good at motivational speaking?

[B]

People just started asking me to speak at more events.

[A]

Really?

[B]

And it was like. It was none. Nothing that I do today was done by design. I'm not nearly clever enough to. To create this picture for what you view me in.

[A]

Was it like a snowball effect? You just started doing one good thing and.

[B]

Yeah. But it all stemmed from me ending up in this place where, A, I didn't know how the I got to, and B, had no clue how I was going to get out. So what that did is it allowed me to eliminate any plan. Right. And that lack of plan produced the best of plans because it Allowed me to get the fuck out of my way because I was always the problem. Right? I'm the common denominator in all of my problems. And, and that's when I surrounded myself with like really good people who have my best intentions at heart. And I, I just kind of dumb my way into this position by simply. It started, it started my, my journey started with me at 38 years old washing dishes in a diner for $6 an hour under the table.

[A]

Really.

[B]

Yeah. After treatment center number 13, I had fucking pissed away everything I walked into treatment with. Literally the clothes I walked into treatment. The story is way too long to get into, but I feel like you'll fancy this. Before I walk into treatment. Only thing I owned in this world was I had eight scarves, two jackets, three socks, a stick of deodorant. It all fit into this bag that doubled as my pillow, a needle, a spoon and a restraining order. So I end a passport, I had a passport with that, but that's all I owned at 38. And, and I was going to attempt to board this flight to go to Fort Lauderdale to live with some stripper out of Baltimore. But before I got on that flight I was gonna go cop some more heroin because I didn't want to get sick on the flight. And when I went to cop, they robbed me. And when they robbed me, they ripped my front and back pockets completely out and I had no underwear on. So now my, my dick and my ass are completely exposed. I had this like nice button up shirt on and they ripped the shirt open and the only button that stayed button was this very top button. And I had these, these shoes on with one shoestring because I had lost the other shoestring along the way from like tying up to shoot up with it. So I then attempt to go to BWI airport to board a flight looking like a gay East LA cholo gangbanger. And, and they denied me access to this flight, which in turn allowed me to call my sponsor, this guy I had met in AA like years ago. And he guided and directed me to this treatment center. And in this treatment center I completed it. And after 90 days I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't graduate high school. I got my GED in the penitentiary. But it didn't really matter. I had written a book and I was like a skater and I was like in those movies Jackass. But it didn't really equate to any like, you know, traits or qualities that I had that would deem me worthy for a particular position at a job. So I didn't know what the fuck I was gonna do. And now at my, at the time, my mind told me I should have been at least the President of the United States at the very least. Right. And, and some people of mine, they found me a job washing dishes at this diner for $6 an hour under the table. And, and I like took pride in washing those dishes and I started like showing up every day and I would, I would, I would come early and I would stay late and I only called out one day out of the whole year that I worked there. And, and that was like unlike my behaviors.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. Like that was not how I would carry myself prior to. And, and, and what I didn't know then that I know now is that job was creating like the foundation and stability that the rest of my life will be built on, including my recovery.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And for that job and washing those dishes and I had a, my co worker was a 14 year old kid next. You know what I mean? So like I had always heard that word humility and it fucking, it rolled off the tongue so brilliantly. But like until I experienced it was a whole different story.

[A]

Is that when you started getting sober?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. So from that point to today, you know, in my mind I'm still waiting for like the grown ups to show up and take care of everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I've, you know, been blessed to achieve like a lot of beautiful things and I, I own a lot of different businesses and, and I think maybe from some outside perspectives I kind of have it put together a little bit. And again, I'm still like in here waiting for the fucking grownup to show up and take care of it.

[A]

Well, it sounds like you're so.

[B]

What my people tell me now is the very last thing that I've chose to address or work on because it's the hardest thing is relationships.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because like I can get vulnerable with a room full of 5,000 people, no problem. I can get vulnerable with you. I can. But like let me do that with someone that I really am connected with that like we leave here and go home together. Right. That's, that's like a difficult thing for me.

[A]

So after you've experienced, I feel like you've experienced so many things in life that would be like drugs and all these things. Like when you want to escape.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You go and find something that makes you happy. Right?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So now that you're sober, what is your guilty pleasure?

[B]

I was so disconnected from reality so long that like, I like going to the grocery store. I like when my house is clean. I like when. When things are in order. I like. I like riding my bike. I find it very therapeutic and I just kind of cruise through and like a pedal bike, just a simple skateboarding. Obviously, I love. Cats are my. I'm a fucking cat fanatic. I will open a cat sanctuary when. When, like I have nothing but time.

[A]

Have you ever been to a cat cafe?

[B]

Yeah. They're like, it's. That's kind of strange to me though. It's a very nice sentiment, you know, And I agree with the. It all, but it's almost like. It's like I'm fucking insane in my head. I'm thinking the parallels. Like, it's like the red light district in Amsterdam. Obviously I'm not going to fuck the cats, but like there's just these cats in the window and you have to go and you have to pay 20 bucks or whatever to sit in a room and like, let them fucking run around.

[A]

That's hilarious. Yeah, that's so funny. I can't. I'm allergic to cats.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I'm allergic to anything that sheds, even dogs.

[B]

That's a shame.

[A]

I know, it sucks. I have. I have a dog, though, but she's hypoallergenic. She doesn't shed.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But I love animals.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My mom got a cat and I was pissed. I was like, why in the world would you get a cat when you know that I'm allergic?

[B]

She wanted you out of the fucking house.

[A]

She was like, the cat's around more than you are. And I'm like. And so now she has a cat. And so, yeah, cats are. I think cats are really cool. But I. I can look at them.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

But I can't touch them from afar. Yeah. And that sucks. Very hands on.

[B]

What's up with your love life? Do you have a guy?

[A]

I do.

[B]

You do?

[A]

Yeah. I have a boyfriend. I'm six months pregnant.

[B]

Oh, wow. Congratulations.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And how'd you meet him?

[A]

At his restaurant. He owns a barbecue restaurant.

[B]

Cool. Here in Austin, I presume?

[A]

Yeah. So we met at his restaurant and we've been together for over like two and a half years.

[B]

Right on.

[A]

Yeah. So that's.

[B]

I was engaged twice.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sober?

[B]

No. Fuck off.

[A]

You're like, have you listened to anything I've said at all?

[B]

No, not at all. I have no desire to want to get married today.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't. And everyone's like, oh, you just haven't met the Right. Woman. And maybe that's the case, but I don't. I've met women. That's not really the issue.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think. I think partnerships are rad. Open relationships are rad. I think.

[A]

Well, I would be terrified to have an open relationship. I'm too insecure. I don't. I know for a fact I could never handle sharing.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

For. For, like, the first step of everything.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah. And I would just want to feel like I was the only person I've.

[B]

Been referred to as emotionally unavailable.

[A]

That's okay.

[B]

Often. So I don't really think I'd have a problem with that, truth be told.

[A]

Yeah. I think. I think that men are also different than women when it comes to open relationships. Like, I believe that a guy can separate himself and his, like, desires with sexuality and emotional stuff much better than a woman can.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm not surprised when men are more open to it. When a woman is open to it, I just think she's bi, which most.

[B]

Women seem to have no issue with.

[A]

If you're. If you're bi, like, if you're into women and men, then an open relationship doesn't come across as strikingly odd.

[B]

I think the narrative's changing, though, these days with what the norm is. Right. Because as a child, when I was a kid, you know, the norm was the. The husband, the. The three kids, the dog, the house, the white picket fence. And I think today. And I don't know, maybe I spotted. I got it. It's not like I'm in. Engulfing myself in tons of married relationships, and I don't really hang out with a lot of people. A lot of relationships, obviously, because I'm not in one. But I don't believe that a lot of relationships work. Even my therapist, who's a marriage counselor is going through a divorce. It's just like, I don't. I don't. I. I.

[A]

Well, who marries a marriage counselor anyway?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's someone for everyone, I guess.

[A]

I know, but that'd be so weird, I think, marrying a therapist and for all the therapists out there, more motivation for you. But wouldn't it be weird marrying someone who was a marriage counselor?

[B]

I would never marry a psychiatrist because I feel like they'd just be dissecting my brain all the time. Move.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I'm glad that they exist, but I would never want to be in a relationship with one.

[B]

It's like a prostitute.

[A]

Yeah. I just.

[B]

I'm glad that they exist, but I don't really want to take them home to me.

[A]

No, Like, I'd rather pay you for your service.

[B]

Again, very similar to a prostitute.

[A]

Very similar to a prostitute. But don't come home with me.

[B]

Leave this where it stays.

[A]

Just.

[B]

No, I get it. I get it. But I think people today are. And who the fuck knows? This is just my opinion. It absolutely means nothing. But I feel like people are the ones that bought into that narrative early on, you know, now find themselves divorced or splitting up and kind of figuring out who they are and totally engulfing themselves into their professional career and then just turn into, you know, casual things with people, you know, I've always been.

[A]

In very serious relationships from one to the next.

[B]

I was until I wasn't, when I got sober. You know what I mean? Like, I always.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. I was never single for very long.

[B]

Well, they say, I was told recently, the magic that I'm in search of is in the work that I'm avoiding. Right? So obviously I'm avoiding looking into the whole relationship thing. So I'm sure there's a lot to be said there. For me, it's just. I don't know. I haven't found the reason to get into that yet.

[A]

What is. I'm going to ask you my dessert question. What is the sweetest thing you've ever done for someone else? It doesn't even have to be a girl. Just like the sweetest thing you've ever done for another person.

[B]

So right now. And I don't. I'm weird. I'm weird, like, with talking about things that I've done because I don't believe I deserve the credit, right? Like, I think then it can turn into an egotistical thing, but I'm in the process right now of doing something that I'm really, really proud of. And my mother is everything to me. She's 83 years old. She. She endured the brunt of my addiction, right? She had bought me a plot. She was, like, literally preparing herself for my death. And she.

[A]

That kind of plot.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like. And. And she was like my number one fan. She would love me when I didn't love myself. She would pray for me when I didn't pray for myself. She'd feed me when I didn't feed me. You know, she was like. She was my. My one.

[A]

Oh, my God, what a great mom.

[B]

Right? And. And I always loved her. And that was one of the motivating factors. One of the big ones behind me getting sober is, like, I don't mind hurting Me, but like, I was raised with a. With a. With morals and values and a good heart. And I had a problem hurting people that I loved. That's always been a problem for me. I'm not just like this heartless asshole that just is like, ah, fuck the world. It's, you know, like I care and, you know, when I went away to treatment the last time, her time looked, you know, precious. And then she came to visit me when I had 90 days, and it looked like she had decreased in age. Like, so all of a sudden, like, she became my. My right hand. We're thick as thieves. I can't get enough of her and do so much with her. She's. She's so funny too. I. I follow around, I film her and I take pictures. She's like, you're sick. You're a pervert. All you do is follow your mother around and take pictures of her. I'm like, you're kind of right. I do. But I know it's a long answer to get to where I'm going, but she's turning 83 in December.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

All she cares about in life is Rod Stewart, Pepsis, cigarettes and giraffes. I've been to more Rod Stewart concerts than I could tell you. But for 83rd birthday, I'm throwing her this really big surprise birthday party. And I'm flying in a Rod Stewart cover band from Boston. I had this humongous ice sculpture of a pack of Marlboro Lights. I have a stripper that will come out and sing Happy Birthday to her. I have like a character drawer, a magician, a harpist that will play music throughout, you know, a whole dessert buffet. And in, like this video that will be played and presented, you know, because I filmed tons of content with her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like this whole thing, like, I'm just making it so elaborate and gaudy and obnoxious.

[A]

Are you going to have the stripper dress up as a giraffe?

[B]

No. My mother was. It should be, but my mother was a nuclear physicist. She was on the board of Mercy Hospital. Insanely intelligent.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So the stripper will be a doctor.

[A]

Okay, totally.

[B]

But the giraffe comes into play because the clients at my. So I own a treatment center as well. Redemption addiction treatment center where I'm at. And I. The thing I love most is running group every day with my clients. I'm a. I really like to be hands on with. But I thought and decided that a great idea would be to have the clients. We're really big with art therapy and we really promote just freedom of expression. Right. And figuring out what you love to do. Right. Those pleasures. So I had the clients do the invites, and we had made a big contest out of it, and. And I have all these invites, and I could show some to you. They're fucking amazing, but it's like giraffes with Rod Stewart and, like, kind of like ransom letters where they cut out a magazine. The letters.

[A]

Oh, cool. Like the joker.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. So it's.

[A]

How neat.

[B]

And that I'm really proud of this. This party that we're throwing for her.

[A]

When is that going to be?

[B]

December 14th.

[A]

Oh, cool.

[B]

And, like, it will, because she loves to be the belle of the ball. Right? She loves to brag. She loves to talk about things. And, like, she'll brag about this.

[A]

That's so sweet.

[B]

That's the rest of her life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is, like, it.

[A]

That's awesome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you have a treatment center. What was it called?

[B]

Redemption Addiction Treatment Center.

[A]

Redemption Addiction Treatment center, yeah. And then where else can people find you?

[B]

So, I mean, just to make it easy, if you just go to my social media or my website, which is brandonovak.com, it takes you to everything else. But once I got sober, I started, like, you know, really figuring out who I was and what I liked. And what I learned that I loved more than anything were, like, skateboarding and drugs. So. So. So I was like, I want to figure out a way to just kind of devote or create, you know, a life that I believe is worth waking up for every day and not having a drink or a drug over, but also dedicating it to the people who are where I once was. Right. I battled with a heroin addiction for, you know, alcoholism and addiction for 22 years, and I just couldn't get it. And now that I have, I. And this probably plays a big part into why I'm not in a relationship, because I just am so passionate about what I do. It's kind of like they say, crazy is crazy until it finds its narrative, and then it becomes brilliant. Right. And. And now my crazy, which is just being devoted 247 to. To helping those who are where I was, is now kind of created this brilliant narrative to where I'm just as consumed by skateboarding and drugs. But the only difference is, is I don't use the drugs. And I. I'm blessed with a beautiful life because of them. Almost like my poison has become my medicine. A very fucking, like, deep, magical thing that exists in recovery. So I. At five years sober, I. I decided I was going to open a sober living house like the one I had lived in. That did for me what no other place had ever done. It taught me how to, like, reintegrate or merge back into society. And so on my fifth year anniversary, I opened up my very first men's sober living house called Novak's House. That was one house with 10 beds. And today we have seven houses with 75 beds for men and women. And I. I travel around, and I. I have generous friends who occasionally like to stroke a checkbook and. And provide scholarship funds. Because my mission is to. To never let price be a deterrent as to why someone can't fucking find a better way of living. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And then when I was doing that, and I wish that the houses didn't exist. I wish there was no demand for what I provide, but there is. I was like, I can do more. I can. I can. I can be better. I can. I can help a larger amount. And that's when redemption was created. And it makes so much sense that to a lot of people, it just doesn't make fucking sense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. And I have a life today that, like, I fucking can't get enough of, and I'm excited to wake up over, and it brings me to all these, like, insanely rad places, like here today, to sit down and talk with a complete fucking stranger about things that otherwise we probably wouldn't have a lot in common.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For the greater good of. Of this thing called reality, which is an acquired taste in itself anyways.

[A]

Yeah. Well, typically, you'd be a very scary person for me to talk to. Just with your history, I would be terrified. I would be like, I don't think I could talk to you because, I don't know. I wouldn't know how to start talking to you.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You know, I'd be like, this guy's just gonna think I'm some idiot.

[B]

Like.

[A]

But it is cool. And I appreciate you coming on my show and being so open about it, you know, because I wouldn't have probably ever approached you.

[B]

Sure. And honestly, you know, if we're going with that approach, I, too, would think that we really wouldn't have much in common. Although you kind of would fit the stereotype of, you know, the women that I've been involved with in the past. Yeah.

[A]

I would totally be the umbrella.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I cause you a lot.

[A]

I'm like, oh, he's a bad boy. So, like.

[B]

And then you're gonna love it out of me, right? You're Gonna change me and you're gonna fix me. You're gonna help me and. And then I just end up, like, totaling your car and, oh, my God, bank account, and your father then wants to fucking kill me. Yeah, but that was that. Well, today there would be a different ending, but unfortunately, I don't want to be in a fucking relationship, so. You're fucked.

[A]

It's okay. I'm.

[B]

You're married and pregnant with a kid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're just baggage to me at this point. You're just like a fucking headache.

[A]

I know. I'm.

[B]

Ladies. I'm kidding. Kinda like. I don't. I don't. I'm not a. I don't. I'm throwing kitten over a kid any day of the week.

[A]

I don't blame you. I'm someone else's problem.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, cheers to him and cheers to you for finding.

[A]

I'm sure he'd like to rent me out, though. Okay. And just be like, here. Just like a. You know, I always tell him that I would never get kidnapped. I eat too much food. I talk to the ass. Oh, my God. They just kick me right out. I'd be like, wait, what about dinner?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't have to worry about that with him being he owns a restaurant.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

Never fucking starve.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

Anyway, I hope I did you justice here today with what you generally go over.

[A]

It's been really nice talking to you.

[B]

I enjoyed myself.

[A]

I really. I truly, honestly appreciate you coming on my show. Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, the feeling is mutual.

[A]

I appreciate it. And I would love to have you back whenever you come back into Austin and hear about your updates and how you're doing.

[B]

Yeah, maybe I'll have, like, a. A relationship in my life.

[A]

Bring your mom.

[B]

My mother. Yes. That's.

[A]

I would love it if you brought your mom. I even had a cat.

[B]

She's a lot.

[A]

Great.

[B]

She's a lot.

[A]

Then you don't even need to come. Just tell her I want her on.

[B]

My podcast, but her attention span is the size of a fucking gnat and all, and she would not sit here unless she could smoke in here. I'll tell you that right now.

[A]

You know, I.

[B]

She literally. She's reverted back to, like, childlike behavior. This woman was a fucking brilliant woman. And I believe, you know, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and we kind of turn into.

[A]

Could I give her a vape pen?

[B]

Yeah, but she won't do it. She. She'll.

[A]

It's the Marlboros or Nothing.

[B]

But she. She's. She's reverted back to childlike behavior. She doesn't like to. She only likes candy. She. She doesn't really like to brush her teeth. She doesn't like to shower. She's just like a child. And I had to recently. This is, you know, juxtaposition. The way the world, right, sizes me. She's dealt with me through everything, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I take her to Baltimore to have her teeth pulled. She had to have eight teeth pulled. I take her. I pick her up, I take her to the dentist, get her teeth pulled. Then I go across the street to the Safeway, and I have, like a. Like a nicer, newer Range Rover, right? And it's clean. I don't smoke in it. I don't smoke. She comes out of the dentist office. She's sitting in my passenger seat with galls all in her mouth and. And, like, nodding out from the. From all the anesthesia she was on to have the teeth pulled and blood just kind of coming out. I go into the Safeway to get her script of pain pills filled, and I walk out. She's literally knotted out in my passenger seat with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. Blood and gall is just fucking dripping out. And I have her pain pills in my hand, and I'm like, if the tables haven't fucking turned. And that is life. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much.

[A]

For coming on my show. This was lovely. Thank you guys for watching this episode.

[B]

And real quick, before we leave, if anyone needs help, they can call me directly at 610-314-6747.

[A]

Do you babysit?

[B]

No. I want no part of kids.

[A]

Okay, so you clearly didn't listen to.

[B]

Anything I talked about. For the last time.

[A]

I'll do better next time. Thank you guys for watching. We'll see you next time.

[B]

Cheers.

[A]

First date. Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner?

[B]

First date.

[A]

I can't wait. You told your mom about me? Just say, you ready? Delete my number.

[B]

First date.

[A]

Your parents are your roommates.

[B]

Thursday.